#BRO THE QUALITY??? TUMBLR I'M GOING. TO KILL YOU

[yutarts]

@treebarkweek 6: picnic/garden/strawberries

they're women again they have enraptured me sorry 🤷‍♂️

[rainofthetwilight]

expression test with jenna! baby version <33

I don't know how to draw tears but I tried ok (also yes she's holding mr cuddlywomp)

[fallen-mario-bros-au]

Aight just a warning I'm pretty new to Tumblr and I'm DEFINITELY new to making AUs so I'm pretty nervous to post anything here but I figured I'd just rip the band-aid off.

FIRST POST HYPE!! :D

Anyways I love Mario and I love Undertale and I NEEDED TO COMBINE THEM LEGALLY so I decided to make an au about it! Dunno if I'm actually going to do anything serious with this, I mostly just want to imagine cute shenanigans with my favorite characters and whatnot, but who knows? Maybe I'll actually try to give this a proper plot

So here's the basic info:

- Mario and Luigi, in the midst of trying to chase down Bowser, who has just kidnapped the princess again, somehow wind up far away from the Mushroom Kingdom and on Mt. Ebott. Where, of course, they fall into the underground.

- All the monsters are pretty much their canon counterparts (at least, my best interpretation of them 💀)

- Mario ends up discovering he has the power to reset/load/save/etc, but Luigi does not. This is because Mario has the most determination to get out of here and save the princess

- Toriel isn't quite as overprotective of them as she would be if they were a literal child like Frisk, but she is still very motherly towards them because it's just kinda who she is. She would probably be concerned about them potentially attacking the monsters so she might make them promise not to hurt anyone. I still don't think she would want them to leave because Asgore would take their souls

- Honestly mostly this is just an excuse for the Mario Bros and the Skelebros to hang out XD

- the thing that is really interesting is that Mario and Luigi are not 1, but 2 humans, which means only one of their souls would be needed to break the barrier. This ends up becoming a real issue but I could see it being resolved in a few ways.

1. one of the bros self sacrifices so the underground goes free (much to the dismay of the other, and also my heart would break haha)

2. They decide to just stay in the underground instead of going home (but they would be pretty sad about it because oh no their kingdom is still in danger

3. ??? IDK tbh

- Since Mario can load saves, he's just constantly in this angsty cycle of trying to keep his bro from getting killed off ;;

- Not sure if Mario could keep the resets secret for long since Flowey would taunt them about it, but he definitely would be pretty closed off about it, especially to Luigi. He does NOT want Luigi to know about the horrible things he's seen

-ofc cut to Luigi being confused as heck as to why Mario seems to already know what's going to happen.

- they have cute sweaters because I said so

- not sure how omega fight would work, but either way Mario would have to fight to save both of them (probably all by himself :c)

- I want them to eventually do true pacifist but IDK how it would work so I'm not gonna think about it too hard rn

- Mario and Undyne having a friendly rivalry about who's the most heroic

- sans trying to convince them they could just stay in the underground and they're like "no we have to save the tiny mushroom people" and he's like "ur just like my bro fr"

- monster speculation about the purpose of mustaches

- It would be kinda funny if they had the firebrand and thunderhand since... Like... Humans aren't supposed to be able to do magic

- "are you sure you're humans? You're so small"

- *confused Italian noises*

Also here's some assorted doodles (I know the quality sucks 😭)

[femmesandhoney]

It makes me so mad, bro. If i say anything about ariana (or any woman who is terrifyingly skeletally thin) im a "misogynist" because i'm not skinny myself. If i try to talk about how damaging and harmful pr0-4n4 rhetoric/thinking is, I'm a misogynist who doesn't care about women with EDs. If i say "hey it's normal for fat women to get mad when you describe our bodies as disgusting or repulsive or so horrible you'd kill yourself if you looked like me," I'm a misogynist who wants women with EDs to shut up and suffer in silence forever, when actually all I'm saying is "hey don't act all surprised when women get mad that you describe our physical qualities as disgusting, and also stop calling our bodies disgusting/acting like ~getting fat~ is the worst most repulsive and horrible thing that could ever happen to you because that shit is rude." Why is describing normal bodies as disgusting or gross or ugly just perfectly acceptable/a symptom of mental illness that should be tolerated without batting an eyelash, but asking for basic human decency and respect is misogyny against women who are describing me as ugly/repulsive/disgusting/the bogeywoman used to scare other women into dieting/restricting/starving themselves???

firstly, the ask is formatting correctly as i answer this im so happy i can easily reread it now, and secondly women in EDtwt or tumblr spaces are extremely mentally ill. what they think is misogynistic here is absolutely not, pointing out that their words and communities (i hate describing whats going on in ED social spaces as communities but i lack a better word) are extremely misogynistic and unhealthy often doesn't really mean anything to these women bc theyre like really not in good mental spaces in the first place. arguing "with" them isn't really a good use of anyones time, you won't get thru to them honestly, but definitely informing groups outside of ED socials to scrutinize that stuff is important.

i completely agree though that their language is troubling and harmful to women by enforcing unrealistic and unhealthy beauty standards and dietary standards to women, especially geared to young impressionable girls, which is very sad. any women who isn't like moderately thin gets lumped into this sorta outgroup of "fat" as stigmatization and this cultural value of thinness in many countries makes people terrified to be "fat". really most countries have really fucked up unrealistic ideas of what women's bodies should look like, to the point our most unhealthy bodies are seen as the most sought after and attainable.

[gothamcityneedsme]

hi! just wanted to say that i binged all the available installments of time displacements this fine afternoon and just!!! it's SO good. I'm screaming. I love whatever dirk and hal have going on. I love dave so much. Karkat/pos. I'm so excited to see B side dave. just!!!!!! amazing. thank you so much i'm going to think about them all year now MHSDFGSHDF WOOOOOO !!!!! i think this fic is better canon than whatever hs^2 was trying to do and its supplemented my idea of post canon its SO in character and awesome and JUST thank you so much. its awesome

@jubiveeline (it won't let me actually @ you, ugh!)--wow thank you so much!

I'm so so honored and happy every time someone finds TD and falls in love with it. I seriously can't describe how much that means to me.

Dirk and Hal are forever favorites of mine, I'm really glad people like how I handle them in my story, even though I go a very different direction than canon--I think it's really interesting to have them relate to each other more, to work through the tension and issues between them.

Karkat despite his lack of appearance (for now), is just so vital to Side A Dave's mindset, and once he's finally in, Dave will have a much better time. (This is exactly why Karkat had to be delayed and could not be present on arrival, haha). If you can believe it, in early forms of the story, I wasn't going to bring Karkat into the other universe. But then I realized Dave was way too miserable without him--he needs SOME kind of support, especially because I don't have any trolls in the Side A universe.

And Side B Dave! He's so fun! Technically he HAS appeared in TD, of course, and he will appear for a liiiittle longer..but then he will be out for awhile. Obviously, he is one of the main characters of Side B itself, lol. I refer to him as 'well-adjusted!Dave' sometimes, because...well, he is, lol. Dirk and Hal's shared parentage is far better than Bro's. Although, tbh, Hal is the fuller father figure.

Hs^2 and what Hussie moved on to...yeah, it's hard to get into. I found the epilogues interesting and perhaps promising, but how other people were so upset by them really resonated with me, and I agree that it's such a different direction that it doesn't really ultimately suit the world or story and themes that were built before.

I WILL get back to TD someday--It's a long term goal of mine. The story still very much lives in me, as do the Strider boys. I'm at the point where to properly write it though, I would have to reread Homestuck, at least part of it, and I just haven't been able to find the time yet. I have a whole chapter and a half I haven't posted yet, alongside like, literally 20,000 words of notes or so. So more story IS out there...and I will write more and get it posted someday.

Ok I'm just sort of rambling because whenever someone is nice to me about TD I like to give some details and information because you deserve it. :) Thank you so so much. As a further way of thanks, here's a funny conversation between dave and karkat:

hopefully tumblr doesn't kill the quality here.

[jasontoddsreanimatedcorpse]

I posted 7,628 times in 2022

73 posts created (1%)

7,555 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@emotionalsupportgoth

@ravenvsfox

@oifaaa

@chekovs-fuckup

@clumpofglitter

I tagged 466 of my posts in 2022

#911 spoilers - 22 posts

#quality content - 18 posts

#the wilds season 2 - 13 posts

#batfamily - 12 posts

#stuff i made - 12 posts

#batfam - 12 posts

#dick grayson - 11 posts

#the wilds spoilers - 10 posts

#dc - 9 posts

#tim drake - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#spring rain can be so light you hardly notice or the heaviest you've seen in a while but it carries the best scents and leaves you laughing

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

im very funny actually

49 notes - Posted January 1, 2022

#4

i'm really hoping the direction take jake to much more of a protector role for the system - marc feels a lot of guilt over killing and steven straight up Does Not Like it, so I'd like to see jake portrayed more as "i'm doing this so they don't have to" instead of just bc he's violent. not only is the "evil alter" trope just incredibly toxic and an awful stereotype, but this alter is also latino coded, and making him have a more violent personality is in bad taste. i want to see jake be conflicted, and feeling trapped in the deal with khonsu - not liking the job but doing it to protect marc and steven. also i would love for marc and steven to change the language they use about themselves - rejecting the idea of being broken or having a sickness that was constantly brought up by others in the series. a lot of how did has been portrayed in this show is already a massive improvement on other mainstream media "rep" and i really don't want to be let down as the story continues

51 notes - Posted May 5, 2022

#3

slowly falling in love with the concept that tim's public persona just. is not very well liked. people will talk about tim drake like "yeah that guy's kinda a dick". all his friends and family know he's a good person but tim just likes fucking with people. when he goes by drake he starts twitter drama with himself saying that red robin has always hated him and is using his name to annoy him. when his friends annoy him he goes on twitter and says shit like "idk i just think superboy is overrated :/ like tactile telekinesis ain't that cool bro" and people go fucking wild. i just think it's neat

174 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

#2

i need like. jason and damian teaming up for pranks. they meet some new heroes or maybe as civilians meet some people in some sort of scenario, one of the people swears and jason is like

"hey! he's only thirteen!"

and they're all like "uhhh"

and damian just looks up all wide eyed and innocent and goes

"fuck"

and chaos breaks out. give me jason and damian convincing people they've corrupted damian in some way i think it would be hilarious

190 notes - Posted October 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i made a new quiz pls take it bc i am so curious

223 notes - Posted January 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[revchainsaw]

The Crow (1994)

Alright Cult of Cult. Do I really need to introduce this one? Let's get all 90s and gothy and maybe brace ourselves for a bit of cringe, but like in a fun way. It's the Holy Grail of Hot Topic, 1994's the Crow Starring Brandon Lee.

Sermon

Apparently before the auto industry totally crashed Detroit was already a total fucked to death pile of burning shit, or at least that's what the crow would have you believe. Sorry Bruce Campbell, and other people from Detroit, but mostly Bruce Campbell. According to the Crow the city of Detroit is the kind of place where gangs of warlock anarchist arsonists will bomb buildings, and murder and rape whoever they feel like and then walk around bragging about it the next day with absolutely zero consequences. Funny then that if Detroit was so bad they had to go to film this movie in Wilmington North Carolina which is definitely a fucked to death pile of burning shit. I can say that, I'm from there and I got the fuck out. My brother is going to kill me if he ever reads this. (It's okay, these are all jokes people). Did you know they also filmed the Super Mario Bros movie there ... also cuz they needed a really shitty looking distopia. Moving on ...

The ludicrous criminality of the Crow's Detroit is particularly on display on Halloween. In Detroit (apparently) Halloween is known as Devils Night and it's legitimately just a night of pure lawlessness and chaos and kids aren't even safe to get candy, except later when we do see trick or treaters. Eric Draven, hunky goth rocker who sort of looks like he could be Bruce Lee's Kid and his fiance are murdered by a gang of vicious criminals. One year hence, Eric is resurrected by a mystical crow (that is actually a Raven), to exact his revenge on the gang that murdered him.

He paints his face like sad Alice Cooper and refuses to listen to Joy Division, just covers. He murders Tin Tin (a knife guy) just for his long gothy duster, he murders Fun Boy and forcibly ejects heroine from her arms and tells her "Go be a good mom now" which actually works. (have I told you about our Lord and Savior Sting? He gave me the strength to get off drugs), he blows T Bird up dick first, and then comes for Skab? Scraap? Scooby? in a meeting of all of Detroits villains and just about kills them all.

He is supported by the most 90s little girl to have ever graced the screen, and I am here for it, and Officer Albrecht, who's played by Ernie Hudson but I like to call him Zeddemore: The Most Underrated Ghostbuster. The leader of the bad guys, who I cannot beleive wasn't played by Brad Dourif or Tom Waits, is pretty interested in the occult. He keeps his witchy girlfriend around and she makes him fun dishes like smoked eyeballs, and her main use is that she knows that the Crow is the Crows weakness. They set Tony Fucking Todd on the bird, and I guess you just have to hurt the bird and not kill it, and Eric loses his healing factor and other macabre undead powers.

The Crow, Jimmy the Raven, pecks out Dr. Girlfriends eyeballs, I honestly forget how Tony Todd gets offed, and Top Dollar gets Gargoyled (that is impaled on a gargoyle). Funnily enough that is more Gargoyle related impaling on screen then in the actual movie Gargoyle: Wings of Darkness where a Gargoyle is supposed to have impaled a guy.

The Benediction

Best Feature: Injustice League

In the Crow we have not only a set of super memorable villains but they are played by the bad guy all stars. John Polito as the most lowly of the bad guys as a kind of sleazy pawn shop owner who buys ill gotten gains. Tony Todd, who's size is really on display here, the freaking Candy Man is in this movie. T Bird is the head of Top Dollars goons and is played by David Patrick Kelly, you might know as the "Warriors Come Out and Play!!" bottle guy from the Warriors, or as Jimmy Horne from Twin Peaks, and of course Top Dollar himself is played by Michael Wincott. Wincott is not a particularly celebrated actor but has played villains effectively in Robin Hood, the Three Musketeers, and Dead Man.

Best Set Piece: Detroit Style Hot Dogs

The Set design of the Crow is perhaps one of it's most fantastic features. It's very moody and ethereal. It's just real enough to not take you out of the film, but fantastic enough to set mood and theme above realism. From Eric Draven's apartment, to the church where the final battle occurs they are all fantastic. I think that's why I really wanted to shine the spot light on a very minor set piece that would get nary a mention but just as effectively represents the qualities I was just talking about and that is the Maxi Doggs Hot Dog Stand, where a lot of the films exposition for audience surrogates takes place.

Worst Effect: Freeze Frame

At a few points in the movie the film makers made a strange decision to do these freeze frame transitions. I only noticed it twice in the movie where it was particularly stupid. I'm sure the film makers at the time thought it was a moody and atmospheric choice that highlighted the suffering that Eric Draven was going through, but it didn't age well. If you don't have the sensibilities of a goth girl from 1994 then it's very very hard not to laugh at just how self involved the movie is about it's super sadness.

Worst Feature: Tragic Accident

Solely based on the film itself, it is that very gothic and dated sensibility that hurts the Crow. The little sarcastic dance he does when he flees the police, quoting Edgar Allen Poe, and bowing to Albrecht. These affected behaviors that I'm sure seemed snarky and right on to the target audience only serve to make Eric Draven seem like an unbearable neck beard edgelord and not the troubled dark soul he's supposed to be. I'm sure at the time it seemed unique and gothy but that shit went out of style for good reason, people could see through it. It's a shame that the Crow himself was some of the cringiest parts of this movie now that I'm seeing it as an adult and not a 13 year old middle class boy with no real problems.

This however is not the low point of the movie. It's not news now and if you're reading some dudes review of The Crow on Tumblr then you probably already know the story. The worst thing about The Crow is that Brandon Lee was horrifically killed on set while filming this movie due to some negligible prop malfunctions. A series of unfortunate events that lead to the actor spending 6 hours in surgery fighting for his life before eventually passing. It was not a quick or painless death and it's really impossible to watch the movie without an appreciation for the fact that this kind of fun dark adventure was going to be a vehicle for Brandon Lee's career wound up taking his life. He was 28. I really wish I could have just bitched about the goofy goth stuff and moved on, but that's not the world we live in.

Best Effect: The Gargoyling

Maybe I should have called this best kill. But I'm not sure which it is. The slaying of Top Dollar at the Climax of the film was just super effective. The pointed wings impaling his chest and that horn coming out of his mouth, it was morbid and excellent and just fit the tone of the movie perfectly. I mean how many other movies can you say Cause of Death: Impaled on a Gargoyle.

Best Bird: The Raven

I tried very hard to look up the name of the bird that primarily performed in this movie and could not find anything. There was a Raven once upon a time called Jimmy the Raven, but that was in the 50s and I don't think birds live that long. There was a team of Ravens performing as the crow, they were chosen over crows for their larger size, and more imposing silhouettes. I just think it's so wonderful to see these often maligned birds get a chance to show off their talents. Corvids of all kinds are incredibly intelligent creatures. Im a sucker for animals, if you haven't already figured that out. I really liked seeing the ravens hit their marks, particularly the one whos job it was to drop the wedding ring into Sarah's hand at the end of the film. You can see that greedy little bastard do his trick and then look of camera at his trainer like "treat please!". It's very cute.

Best Actor: Top Dollar Performance

I'd love to take this opportunity to just put praise upon Brandon Lee, he truly gave everything for this role, but unfortunately with what was put to film we actually have very few character moments with Eric Draven. Stuff happens to him, and he does killings and fights. There's definitely some personality, but I felt like I walked away knowing almost nothing about who Eric Draven was. He was clearly a good dude but that and a few hobbies and a relationship and you don't really have a character yet. He's unfortunately not given a lot of acting to do, instead just relegated to stunts and action sequences. That were notably cool.

The bad guys in the Crow have a lot more character and among this who's who of character actors, Michael Wincott takes the cake. Hell he was standing next to Candyman himself, Tony Todd and still stealing the scenes.

Best Character: A Few Good Apples

Is the best character in The Crow really going to be the cop? The commissioner Gordon stand in? yeah, it is. Not to be political, but I don't like cops, but I guess in a world with magical birds and eyeball smoking I can suspend my disbelief and let Ernie Hudson be #1 cop dad. His character is really the heart of the film, since all Eric can do is brood and fight, we have to care about someone in this movie.

Best Sequence: Halloween Party

The best sequence of the movie is of course the scene where Eric Draven busts in on the Devil's Night party planning commission. I think Top Dollar brought Scrappy Doo there just so he could lure out the crow, knowing the baddest assholes in all of Detroit would be gathered it was likely that somebody was going to kill the beast, or if they couldn't at least Top Dollar could get a feel for his enemy. It's a bullet flying action sequence with a ton of weight. I can't put my finger on this all to common weightless third act problem that big budget super hero and action flicks have nowadays, but whatever that issue is, the Crow does not have that issue. From this point on the Climax feels earned and I am invested. For that reason, The Crow is honestly better in spite of its awkwardness, than many of the super hero movies out today.

Worst Sequence: My Guitar Gently Weeps

Speaking of brooding or fighting. The best sequence was fighting, the worst is brooding. I get that Eric was in a band or something, but didn't he have shit to do. It seemed like it was a cool idea for a shot, but for like a whole seen, watching somebody play an 80s guitar solo, that stood out so brazenly from the choices of music in the rest of the movie was extra corny. It felt like someone's( dad trying to relate to their kid. Oh you like Music. The Dresden Dolls eh? Oh man, then you're going to love Slash's Snake Pit!

Summary

The Crow is dated. It is iconic but I wonder how many of the people that hang that poster on the wall have watched that movie since they were kids. It's interesting how what i've liked and disliked about this film have changed so much sense I was a kid. It's a cheeseball fiesta. If you have matured at all beyond thinking that being sad is the same as being deep then you're going to like it a little less than you did when you were younger, but it is still solid. There's not much to hate on. I'd watch it over and over again. I was really afraid it would not hold up at all, but returning to The Crow was a completely positive experience.

Overall Grade: B

[bi-oh-blue]

Sander Sides as things my friends have said,

Logan: I swear to god, if i hear someone misuse the term "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" oNE MORE FUCKING TIME-

Roman: if you say that one more time i will take Cinderellas slipper and shove the heel right into your forehead.

Virgil: *depressingly does the cha cha slide.

Roman: *pulls kazoo out of pocket and sadly blows into it*

Roman: aw man, i think i just got lipstick on my shawl.

Virgil, after moving from the bed to the floor: Comfort? Dont know her.

Patton: GOSH DANG IT, WHO TOOK MY FRICKING TALKIS I JUST WANT TO TALK...IS.

Roman, knocking down people in the hall way: MOVE IM GAY!

Virgil: My social anxiety and fear of abandonment keeps ME up with the trends!

Logan, Watching a sad scene is a movie: Why is there scary music? What's going to happen? Wait, no. It's sad music. Is this supposed to be upsetting? I'm so confused.

Patton: I love the D! The Sunny D.

Roman: I AM A PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS.

Virgil: if my phone dies right now and I have to get off Tumblr, im going to tumble right off of the nearest cliff.

Virgil: I haven't slept in two weeks, but on the bright side i discovered this new musical-

Patton: Okay but listen,,, puppies.

Roman, holding up rainbow Disney ears: you want to wear my gay?

Virgil, laying down on the middle of the road: i hope that car hits me.

Patton: woah, that's a big word. I definitely wouldn't remember that in third grade.

Logan: but the thing is, that you're wrong.

Virgil: wait hold on, i just thought of something for my Tumblr conspiracy theory blog.

Roman: The only high I will ever be, is high quality.

Deceit: bro its not gay if you have your socks on-

Patton: I love you, but if you spill my HECKING NACHOS I WILL KILL YOU.

Virgil: Anxiety is just conspiracy theories about yourself.

Virgil: guys, last week i went outside and the sunlight surprised me so much i actually fucking screamed.