#BUT LIKE... ITS SELF INDULGENT SO IDK
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I RECENTLY HIT 100 FOLLOWERS ON HERE. THANK U... COMBUSTS
#UHHHHH#IDK WHAT ELSE TO SAY. UMMM#IF YOU LIKE MY CONTENT CHECK OUT MY SELF SHIP BLOG volosdarling I SAY CRINGE STUFF ABOUT COGS THERE SOMETIMES#BUT LIKE... ITS SELF INDULGENT SO IDK#OR JOIN MY DISCORD SERVER LINKED IN MY BIO WE CAN TALK ABOUT COGS THERE#LOVE YOY BYE
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Curly's little blurb on his steam trading card just keeps reminding me he is a much more miserable person than people realize.
We don't get a lot of his thoughts, inner confliction that aren't bogged down by what Jimmy says or does. Even in the The Last One and Then Another, his dialogue is reflective, not the Curly before the crash but the result of everything. Parts of the him he was are there of course, but also disfigured and warped beyond recognition just like he is physically.
Curly really doesn't think much of himself and desires. He clearly chases fleeting moments of happiness. He doesn't really have prospects for himself, assumes in a similar way to Swansea, that if it should make it happy then he is happy. Though, he hasn't reached the point Swansea did to admit it doesn't. He neither sees the glass half full or empty, it's just water, something he needs and he'll take it from any perspective.
He wasn't running from anything but he's never really been going towards something either. He's listless. I've been using the term complacent to describe how he feels about his life and the closest people (really just Jimmy) in it, but now that word feels too neutral, too nice. Happier than Curly really was. There isn't just one word for it, he's unfulfilled, uncertain, uninspired. There are no active problems he faces and that's the issue, why should he be upset?
I believe he really is a person who doesn't know who he is or wants to be. He follows a structure. I don't think he's suicidal, but he clearly doesn't think about what makes him happy. He's numb. I suppose that is a better word than complacent, used to the feeling even if he hates it. It doesn't hurt so why stop it?
#like curly is very much does his job goes home takes care of self repeat i dont think hes like an asocial person but he doesn't take the tim#time to indulge in himself the way he thinks hes a bigger picture guy so as long as nothing is disrupted hes relatively okay even if its#slowly chipping away at him and making him feel hollow like he thought space was endless that he could never reach a point of feeling finis#he never had to predict what to do after the end and suddently he realizes there was no end to it because there cant be an end to nothing#hes accomplished so much objectively but hes done nothing with his life outside of his work like he mentions no hobbies other friends or an#thing of the sort he doesn't even feel like he can vent it cause what? hes complaining about how hard it is to get promoted to have securit#in a job you hate and a position that keeps weighing you down like I feel like if he explained himself at the party and didn't let Jimmy t#talk for him hed actually have made points the others would get cause even if they envied his position he still is justified in being unhap#not everything that you think would bring you happiness does or fulfills even a small part of that desire#idk hes a lot more fucked in the head but like towards himself than people realize like how he lets Jimmy treat him is indicitive of that i#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#captain curly#curly mouthwashing
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fucking kill me
#making an oc then making a self insert is insane levels of pathetic its actually so fucking embarassing#i want to put a gun in my mouth and shoot myself then eat all of my organs and then dig a hole to bury myself into the ground#but i actually like the drawings kinda idk#also hihi get it sadie and macy#bc yk.. sadist masochist.... ok yea its bad i didnt know what to name them ok#when people tell me its ok to be self indulgent and i actually make shit specifically catered to me#🤯🤯🤯🫨🤯🫨🤯🫨🤯🫨🤯🫨🫨🤯#WHATEVER. STOP LOOKING AT ME.#my art#frayocs#sadie#macy
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can we talk abt touya's medical trauma more please
#i just feel like its so...#brushed over#forgotten some might say#idk#i actually suck at writing out my thoughts and analysing characters#dabi#touya#pookie u never deserved that#hes on my mind a lot#can u tell#touya todoroki#mha#bnha#yeurrrl rambles#even as someone whos been in the hospital many times#i still cant turn my thoughts into words for this one#sighs#this may be completely self-indulgent#whatever
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imo for me phyuri is like...... like i understand why you would go for it as a 1:1 everything is flipped type of thing and all. but im more of the camp of like... for me its more fun to think, like, these are the same people, same personalities and aesthetics, but shifted a little on account of the lesbianism of it all. obviously i think dan would still have genderisms going on and like a deeply complicated relationship with femininity (i also think we'd have she/they in bio by like 2022 honestly) but also like. idk the lesbian relationship with femininity vs like the societal expectation of it is so inherently different & i think she would have a lot to say about it.... it's not like i think she'd be like super duper feminine but i do think exploring her relationship with it in a lesbian context would be like. a real thing for her yknow. like she is notttt shaving but i think she likes the occasional grungy makeup... smudgy eyeliner dark lip..... also i think sister daniel is still sister daniel. cranked up femme dyke drag. and where i think dan would have a complicated relationship with femininity i really truly dont think phil would care about it and even in closet era where shes performing it (badly) like it really just is not her. you already know my butch phil truth tho. like she'd literally still be hugely influenced by wanting to be oz and spike. meanwhile i think faith would do crazy things to dans brain chemistry. sorry this is such a stream of consciousness. just rambly 1 am thoughts. watch buffy
#like i dont think the way either of them dress changes all that much BUT i would also never deny dan his dreams of being a goth gf#so i'd give her a few outfits more along those lines too. which is also self indulgent bc ummm i am a lesbian & i like to draw tits. xo#also i keep drawing her with dark lipstick bc um i think its cute and i like drawing kiss marks on phil. think thats especially cute ^_^#ive been so yuripilled these last few days but its just really fun to think about i have a lotttt of thoughts what can i say!#idk it means a lot to me that u guys like my butch phil art especially given like. obvs im butch and he shaped my personality blah blah bla#idk its just very dear to my heart im really glad people get it :D#i have so many lesbian dan thoughts too but im so much worse at articulating them i fear but like. idk. i love u emo girls#hope theres any sense in here im going to bed xoxo#phyuri
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"Come on. Everyone's waiting for you."
#genshinedit#genshinet#dailygaming#hu tao#in the distance you can hear me going 💔💔💔#teyvat posts#genshin impact#genshin spoilers#springtime charms#id in alts#hu tao edit#genshin impact edit#genshin edit#gif#learnt how to gif yay. made these just to have this scene on my blog and to give ht a hug#5.3 spoilers#event spoilers#wouldve made one with lu/mine and the purified tao dou at the end but im still figuring out colors#< the reason this is 4 gifs instead of 2. they just looked bad when i didn't split em idk. something about colorspace in gifs probably#a lot of other strange inconsistencies you might be able to spot but this was self indulgent so. hu tao <33333333333333#its 2 am hit post 👍#oh! while i'm here and rambling: my gripe with what en traveler says is ???? they left out the last bit of the sentence??#'everyone's waiting for you to come home' in cn. where is 'come home' in en? implied (???) huh?#it takes out like a solid half of the emotional impact imo#if you read this far genuinely i love you
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thinking about that bkdk edating in middle school trope, except they're amino boyfriends 💀
they meet on an all might amino community. katsuki is one of the community mods, and izuku is the leader of an analysis club on there. izuku's posts were often featured and very popular in the community (he was def a microcelebrity), and katsuki always gave him a ton of amino coins on his posts.
for a challenge he's hosting for his club, izuku makes a huge deep-dive post analyzing all might's rise to fame in his bronze age. this post gets close to 10k likes, and katsuki gifts him 5k amino coins on the post. when izuku sees that number, he freaks out and assumes it must be a mistake since that's a huge number, who in their right mind would give him that much money??
he messages katsuki (who's username is 𝓓𝔂𝓷𝓪𝓶𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 ⛓️💥) (LMAOOOOO) and asks if the amount of coins was a mistake + offers to give them back. katsuki tells him that there was no mistake, and that he just really liked izuku's post. izuku is really flattered that this guy liked his analysis so much, and they continue texting back and forth for a while.
they follow each other and put each other in their bios under "bffs," and a month or two after that, they officially become boyfriends. izuku buys amino+ using all the coins katsuki had given him (katsuki keeps spending his allowance to buy more amino coins so he's super rich). they start matching profile themes after that, switching to a new theme every month. they have matching profile frames and chat bubbles and everything, and izuku makes a sticker pack of all might faces to use when texting katsuki (sometimes katsuki uses the stickers too, but only when texting izuku)
everyone on all might amino knows they're dating, since they're both such high-profile people in the community. they become the community's it-couple, and people love commenting on their walls how cute their matching profiles are. katsuki comments under all of izuku's posts praising his analysis, and izuku always replies with a string of all might heart-eye stickers.
6 months into their relationship, izuku tells katsuki he can call him by his real name. up until now, izuku had gone by the nickname "golden" in honor of all might's golden age. when izuku tells katsuki his name, though, he doesn't get a response. the next day, izuku wakes up to find that katsuki's profile has been deleted entirely.
izuku feels like throwing up. he doesn't know what happened to dynamight, if he caused this, what could have caused this. he debates deleting his account too, ashamed and confused and hurt, but ultimately decides against it. he changes his profile theme back to an aesthetic picture set of all might in his iconic golden age pose, and continues posting on all might amino as if nothing happened. he doesn't reach out to new people on amino again.
when izuku gets into ua and his workload drastically increases, he stops finding time to post on amino, eventually deleting the app entirely (his profile stays up, though).
in second year, izuku is sitting in the common room with his friends, somehow having been roped into a conversation about dating. "you've never been in a relationship before, have you, deku-kun?" uraraka asks him.
his friends' eyes all focus on him, and he blushes. "well, i had an online boyfriend in middle school, but i'm not sure if that counts." his friends gape at him, clearly surprised. some other people lingering about in the common area also tune into the conversation. katsuki is one of them.
"really, midoriya-kun?" iida says, doing his best to hide his blatant shock. "i must say, that sounds rather out of character for you!"
"did you guys break up or something?" todoroki asks.
izuku grimaces, remembering what happened. "i told him my real name, and then he deleted his account. i think it was because of my name, but I guess i don't know for sure."
uraraka frowns. "that sucks! he didn't deserve you anyway. what an asshole move." the rest of izuku's friends nod in agreement at that. out of the corner of his eye, izuku sees katsuki get up from his armchair and storm out of the room.
months later, izuku and katsuki finally start dating for real. izuku is so overwhelmed with happiness, and katsuki's eyes light up every time he sees izuku. one night, though, katsuki pulls him aside. "there's something i need to tell you."
izuku frowns in confusion. "what's up?"
katsuki takes a deep breath. "...i'm dynamight."
this does not clear izuku's confusion. "um... yeah, i know what your hero name is."
"no, it's-" katsuki cuts himself off, then starts again. "i was dynamight on amino, too."
izuku feels his heart drop. he's not sure what katsuki is saying, why he's bringing it up. "you... we were... you mean we dated back in middle school?"
katsuki nods, eyes on the floor. he doesn't say anything else.
"why did you..." izuku licks his lips in apprehension. "why did you delete your account?"
katsuki is silent for a moment. "i freaked out when i found out who you were," he finally says. "i mean, you know how i was treating you in real life back then. and we had been texting all that time, and i had been comforting you from the bullying you were going through, only to realize it was me who was- i didn't... i didn't know what to say. and obviously i was really immature at the time and wasn't ready to process my feelings yet. but that whole thing helped me realize my feelings for you, even though i didn't want to accept that at the time.
"but," katsuki continues, clearly on a roll now, "that still doesn't excuse what i did. it was a shitty move. and i know i've apologized for how i bullied you before, but i'm sorry for this, too, izuku. i know i hurt your feelings. i swear i'll be a better boyfriend this time, i promise. uh- only if... if you still want to be together."
izuku can't even think of what to say for a moment, still silently reeling at katsuki's confession. eventually he says, "no, i- i get it. we were both pretty immature at the time, and to be honest i kind of got over it a while ago. but," he smiles, "that apology really means a lot to me. and of course i still want to be with you."
he leans in to kiss katsuki briefly. izuku doesn't think he'll ever get used to that.
katsuki rests his forehead against izuku's, eyes taking in izuku's face. "i swear i'll be an even better boyfriend than dynamight was, golden."
and then they lived happily ever after :>
#LMAOO WHY DID THIS POST GET SO LONG IM SORRY#stoppp i put this into a google doc why did i write over 1k words for this im dead#can u guys tell I was an amino girly back in the day#i was never in an amino relationship but i did have 2 friends who were edating each other#they had a rlly bad breakup tho idk what happened </3 i felt like a child of divorce#anyways this au is entirely self-indulgent ive literally been obsessed with the edating aus lately. eating UP all those tiktoks#mha#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#bakugou katsuki#izuku midoriya#bakudeku#bkdk#dkbk#dekubaku#i can't believe im regularly posting bkdk headcanons on here now LMAOO what happened to my revalink hc era#but lowk its so fun to be back into posting abt my silly little headcanons. i miss the revalink community tho :( shoutout to my rvlnk moots
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me and that fucking subspace that i hate
raw version without the pixelated jazzy filters and stuff :3
#phighting#phighting!#phighting roblox#roblox phighting#medkit phighting#medkit fanart#medkit#subspace phighting#subspace fanart#subspace#subspace tripmine#subkit#roblox fanart#roblox art#this is da previous paper doodle i did but digital now#idk why i digitalized it i guess i just wanted to color them#well now you have my personal interpretation of them as humans#i kinda struggled a little removing the notepad lines so ignore that..#did you notice it did you notice it#the white roots is a reference to how they have white hair in other versions#the white hairstrands is because theyre both so fucking stressed and old#and the colored streaks is an effect from the crystal :3#all of this is incredibly self indulgent sorru guys#plz dont jump me if i did something wrong 🙏#its not noticeable but instead of giving my subspace pink faded hands hes getting deterioating graying ones#idc im making him look like a half-corpse now#his hairs lighter and graying too coz hes rotting idk#how does the human body work
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ok so... last month i got bored while travelling and made a half-chimera teto... enjoy i think
#i got nervous abt posting this cuz its SO self indulgent ushfmdjgmfm#i hope.... u guys like heer....#also idk much abt like animal anatomy so pls be nice 2 me#oish scribblz#doodle#vocal synth#vocaloid#digital#hatsune miku#krita#utau#fanloid#neru akita#teto kasane#headcannon#chimera teto#triple baka squad#if like at least one person likes her ill post the 3/4 chimera form i made of her#vocacreatures
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Alright all. Someone posted something a while ago about putting more niche jobs in fanfics. I'm still working on it, but I wanna see if there's any interest. I've seen so many teacher Steve fics, but mostly for middle or high school. So, picture this:
Steddie modern au
Rockstar!Eddie who steps away from his rocker life
Pre-K Teacher!Steve
Eddie takes custody of his little half sister after her mom dies and enrolls her at the school Steve teaches at
Eddie's sister is a weird kid, but it's not a bad thing cuz weird kids make cool adults
#steddie#steddie au#steve harrington#eddie munson#eddie stranger things#steve stranger things#stranger things#fic idea#fan fiction#what do you think?#im like a third of the way done#so im expecting 60 tousand words but could be more#i love rockstar turned guardian eddie so much#i made the kid obsessed with moth man#and lots of pop culture refs#its so self indulgent but also has some character analysis#also background buckingham#and someone said will and gareth was a cute couple idea so thats happening#but i aged gareth down a bit#idk im excited so let me know if yall would read this#def will be on ao3 at some point#also no upside down but lots of the same events happened so steve has hella trauma#all of them actually#but eddie wasnt ever involved#his trauma is unrelated to the party
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Sorry for the lack of posts, have some more headcanons!!
#MYYY self indulgent V headcanon number 234 is that shes a huge fucking dork#i.e she was a huge bookworm as a worker#well she was a dork in general#reading. painting. dancing. all of it#but alot of that. was kinda things she had to leave with the rest of her. when she became a Disassembly Drone.#And while alot of her died in the manor. she still kept some things close.#and one of those things is reading!!!#she cringes at like 90% of what she used to read but still goes out of her way to reread the copies she finds or is given#N usually gives her copies#She acts like she hates it but still reads them alone anyway#theres a reason she has bad eyesight and its because she reads with the book 3 inches from her face in the dark#also Uzi probably makes her read Twilight at some point and laughs the entire time (they both hate it. Uzi just likes messing w/ her)#anyway i just like the idea that in a world where V is finally allowed to start her life again#she looks for the things she loved that she had to leave behind#and finds new joy in them as who she is now#she might not be that little worker anymore#but shes still the girl who loved to curl up in the library when no one would notice. reading any book she could get her hands on.#idk i just like the idea that V deep down is still just a girl who wants to have fun.#i just want her to be HAPPY#anyway do you guys wanna hear why Chappell Roan's “Pink Pony Club” is so V code- (i fall down the stage stairs)#murder drones#serial designation v#serial designation n#uzi doorman#also for context ive never read Pride and Prejudice despite meaning to#its just one of the only actual romance books i know off the top of my head#imean no offense to it. I just like joking abt V reading romance sdkfjkldsjf
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anyway my dumb vn adaptation idea. because
#idk if i wanna put this in the main tags this is like. Mega self-indulgent even for my standards#and im just fucking around learning stuff on renpy anyway so its not meant to be serious#gah. whatever. Its My blog i do whatever i want!!!!!!!!#cherry magic#my art#Anyway i do have more silly ideas for this so maybe ill draw those (the sprites are So fun to make) but the overall idea is undercooked#turns out the plot is harder to adapt when u try replacing the mindreading w smth else#but i will keep thinking........For Me...........
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hi i wanted to draw my own au so have a snippet of scene i rewrote like 12 times and will likely rewrite again
#was thinking about captioning this with uhhh the written version of the scene in my drafts#but its mostly just dialogue#so youre not missing much#i hope i convey the emotion well through expression#sigh part of the reason im hesitant about making this au a comic instead of a fic is that like. most of what ive written for it is prose-#-that doesnt translate that well visually?#a lot of the storytelling for this au i think is told better with narration#so if/when i ever like. share the whole story#it will likely just be a fic#but i suck at sharing unfinished writing on tumblr so what i post here is mostly scenes i wrote turned into comics#<- partially to gauge interest! i like knowing if people care about what im making#but also partially just because i REALLY like this au. its super self indulgent#i know i only draw angsty shit for it but i swear its about friendship ok. like half of what ive written is really sweet#.the other half is actually angst BUT THATS IRRELEVANT. ok normal tags now#doodles#ghost roxas au#roxas#sora#kingdom hearts#hmm i dont think this one translated as well as it couldve. its meant to be a sort of slow build to outright anger#bc its like. soras confusion + frustration finally building to the point hes yelling#but it feels sort of sudden here so idk. could also be that theres no context to this#roxas' reaction too reads a bit differently than i wrote it as (more angry than like. ptsd response for lack of a better descriptor)#WHATEVER WHATEVER DONE RAMBLING IN THE TAGS I HOPE YOU LIKE THE ART
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im always like “write cringe! create guilty pleasures! be free!” to others but then when i sit down to write my own cringeass indulgent g/t shit i just stare at the blank document like ohhhhhh my god oh my god ohhhooohmy god. oh. my god. and then i close it and take a nap
#idk if others find it cringy. its the self cringe i must battle#idc*#not even cringe more like. so so indulgent i get flustered#i wanna write it and post it tho bc i think the gt girlies will like it#enemies to lovers gt slowburn soulmates. jester x dragon. thats all i can say rn
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countless days pass by immeasurably;
anniversaries gutter in the maelstrom
#iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#interview with the vampire#iwtv amc#ldpdl#vampterview#louis#art#mine#*24#i made this a week ago + was on the fence abt posting it bc its v self indulgent but the new ep drops tonight so. why nottt#if les gets to be a rockstar or w/e then my special princess louis gets to be a goth. he looked soooo good in e7 w/ smeared eyeliner <3#i feel like he could like some goth music! prob more trad stuff than like industrial or rock. anyway i started looking into the history of#goth subculture + black culture in america bc i knew they had a connection (blues music/jay hawkins etc) and it was rly interesting#like thru blues it has a connection to new orleans. fun#i listened to attention dépression by les clopes on repeat during this lol. idk enough french to even begin to transcribe it tho
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this time it doesn't count !
#they have first kiss amnesia or something lol#knox greenburg#paolo rocca#paolox#ts4 fanart#the sims 4#the sims 4 townies#ts4 townies#fanart#:)#:)):):):):):):):):):):)#they havent even kissed yet. they are NOT boyfies.#its super self indulgent lol...........u____u#oooh these look BAD but its done so idk#they are the absolute worst to meeeeeeeeee do you get it or not#im the number one paolox lover but also hater.#i hope we can tell these are. provoked due to paolos whims while knox is just there like. sure dude!
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