#BUT i think for buggy's character RIGHT NOW it is more important to be respected

[beanghostprincess]

I simultaneously would want cross guild to be on more equal footing and don’t want it because I’m afraid that development will make it impossible for shuggy getting back together in any way.

If buggy gets respect and will to achieve his dreams why would he need shanks in his arc? Especially since we’re closer to his death

I am a Shuggy fan and shipper as much as the next person, but when it comes to Buggy's character, I think the whole point is to let go of the past. I am pretty sure he will end up making up with Shanks and even fighting side by side with him at some point, but if I had to choose... I sort of prefer for Buggy to get the respect of Mihawk and Crocodile than to have more screentime with Shanks.

But I don't really think Cross Guild being equals makes it impossible for Buggy to reunite with Shanks. In fact, I think it makes it more plausible? Because what always keeps Buggy from being with Shanks is feeling inferior to him, and if the bond with Cross Guild makes him feel better about himself I think he'd end up being able to be with Shanks and make up without hating every second of it.

[lostsometime]

WHAT IS THE FIGHT SCENE CONVEYING? (an incomplete list)

Part 2! (For the breakdown of the five fights in the first episode, click here.)

Episode 2 - Straw Hats vs. Buggy: Again, we are getting themes of teamwork - they all have to pitch in together to take care of Buggy. However, this also shows us that Luffy is clever in his own way - he strategizes really well on the fly. Even while actively getting his ass kicked, he's able to observe his opponent and figure out how to bring him down. It also shows a bit more of the "captain" coming out - they still don't want to think of themselves as "his crew," but Zoro and Nami follow his lead in battle without hesitation.

(Luffy's ability to win over disparate people's respect and affection is especially poignant when contrasted with Buggy, who has had to force people, with threats of violence, to pretend to like him.)

Episode 3 - Kuro vs. Merry: This is not really a fight, per se, since Merry can't fight back, but it establishes 1) How ruthless Kuro is and 2) How fucking fast he is. Now we know what we're dealing with and can start getting worried (so when they pull out the Slasher flick vibes next episode, we're Right There with Nami and Kaya, feeling that fear).

It's also doing something else that I didn't pick up on my first time through, because it's specifically doing it for people who know the manga/anime. I came into this mostly canon-blind for the original One Piece - I knew broad strokes of some of the arcs and I was familiar with the premise, but that's all. In the time since I watched it, though, I've gotten into the manga a bit, so I picked up on this when I went back to watch the scene again for this post.

It's establishing for fans who know the original that they don't know what's going to happen. That characters they thought were safe might not be safe. That Merry can die - and so, by extension, can others. Now these people, too, will be scared - not just here, but in other fights, too. If they'll kill off Merry, who else might not be safe? Kaya? Zeff? Nojiko? All kinds of lovable supporting characters whose survival is now not guaranteed. It means that all the work they put into making things exciting and suspenseful isn't going to waste, because now even people who know how the manga goes are subject to the same uncertainty as the rest of us.

Episode 4 - Zoro vs. Black Cat Pirates: Okay, this one is mostly for Spectacle, but it also gives a lovely bit of character work since this is the first time we're seeing Zoro fight since getting his Backstory Flashback earlier in the episode. We know what the third sword means to him now. We get it when Sham takes it from him, what that means and why he prioritizes getting it back.

Episode 4 - Luffy vs. Kuro: We got a bit of this also with Buggy, but it's an important theme, so they spend a lot of time on it - how confident Luffy is in who he is and what he wants, and how stubbornly he trusts in his friends. Many, many baddies are going to try and do this, to attack his self-esteem or tell him to Be Less Like Himself, and none of them are going to succeed, ever, because Luffy knows exactly who he is.

Episode 5 - Sanji vs. Those Two Guys: Look, here's the thing. There are two things Sanji is good at and those are 1) cooking and 2) kicking people in the face. So that's what his first two scenes gotta show him doing! It's less than 3 minutes, his introduction, and they hit their marks perfectly. Point one, amazing cooking, point two, cussing at Zeff, point three, kicking shitheads in the face. It's such a neat little package. Beautifully done. This is how you introduce a major character in the back half of an eight-episode season - you need to show us who he is, what he wants, and why we should care immediately. And they do! By the end of Sanji's introduction scene I was sold on him as a character.

I think I'll need to do another post for the rest, but the one last thing I want to point out is that, like my earlier post, this post is also analyzing five separate fights. And it takes us into episode 5. I just want to point that out again because it is remarkable to me that they managed to fit 5 combat scenes into one episode for the premiere. They had so much they had to do in that one episode and the fact that they pulled it off impresses me so much I'm still boggling at it, something like 8 months later.

[daphnebowen]

descendants rise of red thoughts

warning: these are probably nonsensical and just a lot of confusion/venting/random excitement?? but enjoy regardless:

I'm glad that they explained jay, evie, and mal's absence right off the bat 

Uma and mal's relationship >>>

Not me bawling my eyes out already at the mention of Carlos, we all know uma's tears were china's tears 😭😭

Wonderland is GORGEOUS

"DEVIL ON MY SHOULDER" WHERE THE ANGELS USED TO BE

this fight scene is so unrealistic 

LUCIUS MALFOY?!?! (nope it's a dupe)

can I just say Kylie is GORGEOUS in red??

MAD HATTER SON SIGHTING AND I LOVE HOW HIS NAME IS MADDOX

who would have guessed she used the hug with Maddox to steal the Time Machine - hmm, not me!!

Brandy is absolutely KILLING IT her voice is majestic 

but where does Chad fit into all of this??? like isn't he the son of Cinderella but he doesn't look like his dad or mom?

the queen of hearts accent is soooo soothing

she (the queen of hearts) reminds me a LOT of Audrey, in her looks, her mannerisms, the way she speaks, her everything, it's kinda crazy 

A MENTION OF CHAD!!! Maybe it's possible! who cares about genetics!!

okay queen of hearts buggy is 🤩🤩

Chloe reminds me so much of evie and red reminds me so much of mal!! this is probably obvious to everyone and on purpose but oh well

WHATS MY NAME REMIXXXXX AHHHH

where's Harry and Gil bro not even a mention of them??? they were uma's best friends bffr

Omg I haven't seen Dara in a lot of other things but she is SLAYING the crazy uliana character 

Chloe running around fixing all the things red's messing around with is so accurate 

WICKED STEPMOM SIGHTING

anyways, the house Cinderella grew up in is soooo accurate to how I pictured it

I don't think poor chloe has ever touched a mop lol

Dara doesn't even sound like herself in this song

THAT EEL FREAKING SCARED ME GAGAHAGAGA IT LOOKS JUST LIKE FLOTSAM AND JETSAM which is probably the point but oh well here I am 

the way my heart DROPPED when she smashed the shoes!!!! 😢😢

oh snap. I did NOT expect red to go there (speaking about the "how did that end up for her?" talking about Chloe's mom) THATS SO AWFUL AND HORRIBLE MY JAW DROPPED

young Cinderella can SINGGGG

Love how they never showed Chloe's feet after she threw her glass shoes into the fireplace 😂 not important but I thought it was funny

love the kid barking and meowing and making Merlin rethink his life choices 

I definitely thought for a second that red was gonna be like "actually, I want to stay in this timeline"

OMG I HOPE THIS WORKS

YESSSS UMAAAA SLAYYYYYY ILYYYY

the costume change for queen of hearts is EVERYTHING

how is Chloe going to explain the broken glass shoes to her mom lol

nothing gets past Uma lol she's ALL KNOWING OUR QUEEN

final thoughts: reaaaalllyyyy wishing we could have brought back more of the og's or even got a little more closure about Carlos and his death. even though I know everyone's moving on and healing and dove especially is distancing herself from Disney and trying to be her own person without that (which, I respect) I still would have liked a cameo, a sort of "passing the torch" thing. without them it kinda was abrupt and strange, but having fairy godmother and Uma definitely benefited the movie. Red and Chloe were definitely well thought out and loveable and relatable characters for me, being a perfectionist myself and having three little troublemaking brothers who want nothing to do with me or my family at all. I feel like there was hardly any real time to get to know the other characters at all though! particularly young Bridget and ella, I definitely would have loved to see more of them. even uliana, although she made such a big impact and interest with her limited amount of screen time, put it to good use and made the most, though I would have wanted more. More backstory between her and Ursula's relationship, perhaps??? Uma and uliana reconciliation?? where is uliana now??? etc etc etc. I feel like the movie was so short there wasn't a ton of time to fully flesh things out and explore the characters and yet the pacing was great for the plot, so I don't know how those two things work together but somehow it felt rushed and yet perfect at the same time?? Like I don't know what they could have added to make it longer. definitely wanted more Uma and fairy godmother banter and updates on all the vks and auradon kids!!! how's Jane!!! ESPECIALLY NOW CARLOS IS NO LONGER WITH US?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? what about Lonnie!! and dizzy and the twins and Doug and Harry and Gil and all those other rascals. good to know Chad's off playing tourney in college and we know mal, Ben, evie, and jay are sailing around the world making amends with other countries and forming alliances. but yeah. overall I was pretty satisfied, obviously I don't think ANYTHING could top the iconic original descendants but I feel like this one did its job. it continued the story and introduced many new characters and a new timeline and plot line that was easy to follow while also leaving room for more and for wanting more. didn't even mention the music but I felt a lot of it was suuuuper repetitive and just this pop thing. where are my ballads!!! my if onlys!!! everything was just like "rotten to the core" or "chillin like a villain" and I wanted some emotional songs. Yes, I love a good pop upbeat song but I don't want an entire movie of them. everyone sang great I think, except I couldn't tell what was real and what was auto tune, but anyways. so yeah, I'd rate this movie a 7.5 out of 10. Pretty decent but still... not the greatest. as to almost be expected without our original cast.

side note: anyone wondering, if Cameron Boyce hadn't passed away, do we think they still would have continued adding on to that original trilogy and storyline or do we think that they would have brought in the new characters and storylines anyway? just a thought, I've always wondering what it would be like if cam hadn't passed. rest in peace xo 💋 

[gumnut-logic]

Coffee

This is @godsliltippy ‘s fault because she was so kind to me and posted Pocket Virgil to help me through the day. Above is the original three clips, of which Pocket Virgil is part of Clip Two. After watching Pocket Virgil try again and again with no success, I kinda wanted to help him, so this fic happened.

Total meta crack, that really didn’t go anywhere, but hopefully will be fun nonetheless. Certain laws of both physics and worldbuilding were totally ignored, so there may be some brain frying concept-wise.

This is for Thunderfam and for all the kindness you continue to bestow upon me. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You guys are amazing. ::hugs you all::

Leave sense at the door. I hope you enjoy it :D

-o-o-o-

Virgil Tracy was grumpy.

He knew this idea was good an all and he fully supported Lady Penelope when she suggested they document some of their rescues for the general public.

But not once...not once! Did she mention that he would be dragged out of bed before the sun, thrown on a set to perform, and the only coffee they would provide would be thimble-sized, consequently cold and allocated to break times.

At the moment, ‘break’ was definitely a keyword. Sans coffee, Virgil Tracy was quite ready to do something of the kind to the director.

“Now, Virgil, I know you’re tired, but you are the calm brother, the respected peacemaker of the family. Snarling at the camera isn’t quite in character.”

In character? He was playing himself, for goodness sake. He was in character, character sans coffee! Across the studio, he eyed the Tracy villa swimming pool and wondered if there was a possibility of filling it with coffee.

“Can we try again?”

Virgil grunted at the director. Bet he had had his coffee. Bet he was allowed to access that wondrous machine up so high on that shelf. Bet he hadn’t given one thought to how his precious Tracys might feel about the matter.

Yeah, Virgil Tracy was not in a very good mood at all.

The director stood up from the set and stepped away to be half hidden by the camera again.

Virgil lowered Two’s hatch and climbed aboard. All prepared to launch Two with a smile.

He grit his teeth.

Backing her up into her hangar again, he closed the cliff face and waited for the call.

“Action!”

Practised fingers went through their motions and Two cruised out onto her runway under the fake sunlight.

A poke at a control and the palm trees moved aside...not quite the way they did at home, but well enough...and Two taxied towards her ramp.

“Cut!”

Oh, for the love of...what now?!

“Virgil, you are grinding your teeth. I would say we could mute it in post, but you look like you want to kill someone. You’re the valiant hero, the gentle giant, not Hannibal Lecter daydreaming about dinner!” Virgil stared up at him through the windows. Usually, Virgil would be mortified, but it was barely past 7am, he had been up late for a real rescue last night, hadn’t slept well, and there was no damned coffee!

The director stared at him a moment longer before throwing up his hands. “Okay, you know what? Take fifteen, go find some coffee, for all our sakes.” He ended that with a glare and turned away calling the crew to a halt.

Virgil sat there staring at the replica of his ‘bird’s controls. He had been in the real thing last night. Saved sixteen lives.

He was just tired and not really being fair to anyone, including himself.

He just wanted coffee. Please, I just need coffee.

If his inner voice sounded like a dehydrated man in a desert pleading for water, it was just being honest.

The thing was that the crew had coffee. In that machine on the shelf. Sure, the cup was bigger than he was, but it might be just enough to put his brain to rights.

But he couldn’t reach the button to activate it. In fact, the one time he had tried, some smart ass on set had filmed him jumping up, trying to reach it. It had made the rounds until it hit Gordon, who then promptly made sure the rest of the world had the opportunity to enjoy laughing at his brother.

But then Gordon still didn’t know who poured dye in his pool...while he was in it.

The full body make-up his brother had to wear that day to hide the purple was almost worth it.

But coffee...god, he needed coffee. If only he could extend his reach. If only he could grip the cup...

Virgil blinked.

The solution was obvious. Oh my god. He felt like kicking himself for not thinking of it before. You idiot!

There was one piece of equipment he had brought on set that wasn’t fake.

It was here for two reasons. The first was that it was built for Virgil, only he could wear it and it was cheaper to just wear the real thing than to build a poorly functional duplicate. Secondly, Virgil preferred to have one on hand as often as possible, just in case, and since they had been spending so much time in Aotearoa on set, he had stashed one with the lead model maker for safe keeping.

He exited the fake Two and leapt out onto the runway. The fact that one of the set hands saw him and immediately made herself scarce was kind of depressing. He had been a grumpy bear this morning.

But that was all about to be solved.

He eyed the director and, making sure the man wasn’t looking, grabbed one of the discarded thimble-sized coffee cups and slipped away towards prop storage.

It was a hike and he had to dodge wheels and staff who didn’t see him. Those who did all immediately looked at their watches and, just like the set hand earlier, hurried out of his sight.

Maybe he was beginning to get a reputation.

Serve them right for not giving him coffee!

He found his helmet and his exosuit exactly where he expected them to be. Some neurotic librarian type had attached a huge name tag with a barcode onto it.

Virgil’s shoulder mounted laser took care of that.

It was almost comforting to slide on the equipment. The surety of its strength settling on his shoulders, its weight snug at his hips and ankles.

He sighed.

Of course, that one moment of relaxation was interrupted by Steven, the lead model maker, suddenly bursting into the room.

“I don’t know, Scott. That sounds kind of dangerous. The real Thunderbird One might be able to handle you surfing it, but I’m not too sure of the mockups.”

“I’ll talk to Brains. We’ll make it happen.”

“Why are you feeling the need to surf on the outside anyway?”

“Because it looks cool?” Scott cleared his throat. “Ah, because that is what happened during the incident we are portraying and accuracy is important.”

Virgil hunched down behind a scarily accurate model of that moon buggy Scott was always raving about. He dared not move because the wheeze of the suit’s hydraulics was far too familiar a sound to hide from his brother.

But then, since Scott was buzzing around at Steven’s eye height thanks to one of his jetpacks, his older brother really didn’t have a single leg to stand on.

Mostly because he apparently didn’t need them.

Virgil found himself grinding his teeth again.

He really needed coffee.

“You actually surfed on the outside of Thunderbird One?”

“Well, yeah.”

“That is so cool, man.”

“That’s what I said!”

Steven reached past Virgil’s hiding spot and picked up one of the fake explorer pods and Virgil remembered that he was supposed to clamber up the side of an equally fake mountain later in the morning.

Hell, coffee was mandatory.

Fortunately, Steven appeared to have everything he needed and both he and Scott left almost immediately after that, Scott coming as close to raving as Virgil had ever heard him, babbling about surfing on One.

Sounded about right. Scott and Alan might as well have been twins if it wasn’t for their age difference.

They both gave Virgil grey hair.

But then so did Gordon.

John was easier, cool and calm and sensible most of the time. But that just meant that when he did slide off the rails, he did a proper job of it, likely taking most of them with him.

Hmmm, must remember to grab some more hair dye on the way home tonight.

With the coast clear, he secured his thimble cup to his suit and made a run for it.

He made it across the floor to the blessed coffee machine without interruption this time, though he had to admit, his suit was much noisier than he had realised. But a good percentage of the crew were focused on that scene Scott was filming.

He could still hear his brother declaring that he knew his stunts better than any stunt man.

Virgil had to agree. If anyone was capable of surfing Thunderbird One, it was Scott.

The idiot.

Now, not only was he doing stupid stunts to save people, but now just to show off.

Virgil had a good mind to kick his ass. He was as bad as Alan.

No, correction. Alan wasn’t that stupid.

Virgil found himself taking a step in his big brother’s direction and it was only the wheeze of his suit that made him realise exactly what he was doing.

Coffee, goddamnit, he needed coffee!

Without a second thought, he fired a grapple line up to the bench top and was gratified it secured with a thunk. Pulling himself up with the right equipment was so much more efficient than the equivalent pseudo rock climbing he had had to do last time.

Before he knew it, he was up there standing next to the huge dispenser of coffee. He gazed up at it for a moment and blessed its existence.

But unfortunately, Sadie who had been kind enough to set it up for him last time wasn’t available.

Hell, if his assistant hadn’t been called away at the last minute, he would have gotten his coffee that day. As it was, the director had found out about the incident when Virgil arrived late on set and had given Sadie a dressing down that involved images of Tracy brothers falling into giant vats of coffee and being boiled alive.

As if Virgil would be that stupid.

Boiling himself would be such a waste of good coffee.

But there were no more attempts at giant coffees for Virgil Tracy from that point on. It was banned.

So, this time, he had to set it up himself.

He was consequently reassured that yes, he was really good with his tools. The suit hummed in appreciation as he made it do what he needed it to do and despite dropping coffee granules all over himself at one point – he was considering eating them off the counter, but then considered that a caffeine overdose wasn’t wise – he set up the machine ready to dispense some black heaven.

The teacup he had used last time had been pushed away to one side, but his exosuit made it a simple job to manipulate it into position so he could stand on it.

With the extension of his claw, he easily reached up and hit the green button.

It was a pleasure just to hear the coffee machine start up.

He was seriously tempted to take off his helmet and breathe in the gloriousness that was the scent of brewing coffee, but he still had to get that coffee cup into a position from which it would be safe for him to drink.

He may be coffee and sleep deprived but he wasn’t an idiot.

So, he stood there watching the coffee machine make the drink of the gods.

It was a little mesmerising.

And then the process was complete. The machinery quietened and the coffee cup sat waiting for him.

He didn’t hesitate.

It took both claws and a secure grapple to the shelf above the bench for stability, but he manoeuvred the cup down onto the bench top.

Steam fogged up his helmet as he looked down from atop the upturned teacup, so finally, he broke the seals and lifted it off his head.

Oh.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

He almost melted on the spot.

The smell was heady, intoxicating. Drowning in the dark liquid no longer seemed a bad idea.

He leant over a little further.

Ohhhhhhhhhh, it was just too good.

“Virgil! What the hell do you think you are doing?!”

It was Scott’s voice. Unmistakeable.

He would want to take away his coffee.

No.

No!

Not his precious coffee!

His brother flew up onto the bench and alighted without a sound. “Virgil!”

Virgil hissed at him. “Go away.”

That earned him a worried frown. “That’s not safe.”

Screw safe, he wanted coffee. He unhooked his thimble cup from his waist and reaching down, scooped up some blessed, steaming liquid manna.

It was hot.

It was delicious.

He poured it down his throat.

Oh, god, yessssss.

Another scoop and he sculled some more. His tongue scalded a little, but he didn’t care.

More.

More.

He was guzzling like a dying man at water filled oasis.

“Virgil?”

“Virgil!”

And suddenly the coffee cup disappeared.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

He over balanced and would have fallen if it wasn’t for a sudden thunk of a grapple on the back of his suit.

He looked up to find Scott securing his grapple line to a coffee cup hook underneath the overhead shelf as Virgil teetered on the edge of his teacup, barely prevented from falling by the cable’s connection to his suit.

And there was no more coffee.

No.

Please.

“I need coffee.”

Scott floated down to Virgil’s eye level and Virgil realised exactly who had taken the coffee cup away.

The director was standing behind his big brother.

Virgil was in so much shit.

Damnit.

“I just want coffee.”

Scott was frowning at him. “Are you okay, Virgil?”

“DO I LOOK OKAY?!”

Um, that may have come out a little bit louder than intended. But then he was hanging partly suspended from an empty coffee cup hook.

Much quieter. “I just need coffee.”

Scott’s eyes were wide. “I think you’ve had enough coffee.”

No, he needed more. Buckets more. “Please, Scott.”

“Uh, no. We’re going home.”

Virgil blinked. “What?”

But Scott had turned away and was talking quietly to the director.

Virgil caught a glimpse of something shiny out the corner of his eye and turned to find a single drop of deep brown gold suspended from the coffee dispenser.

Coffee!

Without thought he leapt for it.

Perhaps it was a good thing that Scott actually did think, because a yank on that grapple line probably prevented Virgil from being scalded.

“What the hell, Virg?!”

He blinked as he hung fully suspended by his brother’s grapple line, swinging slowly back and forth, one very unhappy commander glaring at him.

Umm, yeah, maybe that was taking it a step too far.

Scott’s words were firm. “Shed the suit and go and sit in the car.”

“Sco-“

“Now.” Blue fire lasered him where he hung.

Virgil gave in with a single nod.

Scott lowered him to the bench top and Virgil dropped the suit with a clatter. He stomped off in a huff as Sadie was called over the PA system to come and assist him.

He only wanted a decent coffee, for crying out loud.

After all, Gordon did get that massive hot dog the other day, and John had slept in his bagel, for goodness sake.

Why couldn’t he have his coffee?

It just wasn’t fair.

-o-o-o-

FIN.

[cosmic-has-moved]

The Vamp & Wolf - Chapter 6

Link to Ao3 Version: [HERE]

A couple of days had passed and Hayden had been showing great recovering process, granted his back still stung. The Mistress had noticed that after Daniela fully healed, she would check up on him and stay there until the maidens walk in to clean his wounds.

She didn’t show it nor admitted it, but Daniela was worried about him.

Mother Miranda has been made aware of the huts and sent out others to destroy them, Alcina doesn’t does whether that was a good idea, but it had already been done. Other things Mother Miranda has done is suggest that Hayden has gotten weaker in Alcina’s care, the Mistress knows what she’s hinting at and refuses to comply to such ridiculous suggestions.

Just as recently Hayden opened his eyes, the first words to come out of his mouth was demand of food, Alcina hopes he never changes.

___

The Mistress sat across from Hayden who sat on his bed, eagerly eating a plate of sliced pork. There were bandages still around his torso but he showed signs of being fully recovered, that was a great sign.

“Is Daniela alright?” The young man said while shoving meat in his mouth, doing his best to now waste a single bit.

A chuckle came from his mother. “I’ve already told you, she’s doing great now. No thanks to your quick thinking.” She rested her elbows on her thighs and laid her head on her palms. “She’s even been visiting you while you were unconscious.” Licking the plate clean, Hayden eyed Alcina with a bit of confusion. “Really?” He lowered the plate and examined his body. “And she didn’t do anything to me?”

“I know.” Alcina threw her hand up. “It’s out of character for her, but I guess she’s finally grown fond of you. Enjoy it while you can.” The both of them laughed, the laugh being cut short upon there being a knock at the door.

The Maiden Claire walked in with a tray of food, the sight making Hayden’s eyes light up. “Here’s the second batch of lunch, Mister Hayden.” She said as she placed the tray of food in front of him and giving the Mistress a bow. “Just as the Mistress ordered.”

Just as Claire went to walk off, Alcina grabbed her wrist and pulled her down on her lap, the action causing the maiden to become flustered. “Oh no, you’re staying.” The Countess said while caressing her shoulder. “You’ve done such a wonderful job taking care of my son while he was injured, you deserve a thank you gift.”

“A simple demand of a dinner date would be fine, Mistress.” The brunette spoke up with a smirk before adding. “You know by now I don’t like it when people just try throwing themselves at me.” She got her wrist back from Alcina’s grip and slid off her lap. “I know my worth.” She said before walking out of the room and closing the door.

“…” Alcina sat there in silence while Hayden looked at her with squinted eyes, she had just been rejected again and this time it was right in front of her competition. His fork having a piece of meat dangling from it near his open mouth, he was clearly judging her.

Slowly inserting the meat in his mouth and chew it, he spoke. “My god, you just got rejected by your own servant.” He swallowed his food and gave her a smug look, which was reacted by the cocking of a brow from his mother. “Does this mean I’m winning?”

Alcina crossed her legs and straightened her back. “Oh hell no, you do not!” She pointed her thumb to herself. “I still have time to take her to dinner, you still need to recover in bed.” She smiled smugly at him. “Don’t even think that you have a chance of winning against me.” Rolling his eyes and continuing to eat his food, Hayden chuckled. “We’ll have to wait and see, Mother dearest.” The game now got serious.

“We shall, my dearest son.” Alcina added before standing up and walking out.

___

Later the next few days, everything seemed to go back to normal. The girls acted like their usual selves and Hayden happily walking around after laying in bed for quite sometime. It was nice.

As for Claire, it appears that she’s been playfully avoiding her and Hayden. Alcina would ask her about a dinner date but would always be rejected with a “Maybe another time.” It was agonizing to the Countess, but she couldn’t help but enjoy it. Even Hayden struggled with her, offering her roses and dinner but always gets rejected with kindness.

The two were losing and were too prideful to admit it.

Cassandra, Bela and Daniela knew what the two were up to and laughed every time they had failed to seduce the maiden. The three didn’t even offer to help them, the buggy bastards.

It was clear that Claire wanted more than just a dinner, they just didn’t know what. It was frustrating but they gotta respect the hustle.

___

Prepping up the finished pile of work and putting them away to their designated spot, the Mistress locked up her office and went to her nice lovely bed, alone.

At least she would be alone if it weren’t for a certain fuzzy creature laying on her bed, sleeping soundly and covering the sheets in his fur.

Too exhausted to give a care in the world, Alcina laid down and used Hayden’s fluffy body as a pillow. Well she wouldn’t care if it weren’t for a rather horrid smell entering her nostrils, ruining the cozy mood.

Shooting up and glaring at her sleeping child, she uttered a single sentence that would shake many furry creatures.

“You need a bath.”

At first it was easy carrying him out of bed, but as soon as he woke to see the bath, his paws shot wide open and gripped the door-frame. That’s when the quiet war began.

Alcina pushed and pushed him as he screamed out in what would only be pained dog yelps mixed with human like pleas of forgiveness. But the cries had no affect on the woman’s heart, she knew they were nothing but pretend.

With one swift kick to the animals behind, he was in the room and so was she. Slamming the door shut and grabbing the poor stinky pup with one hand, she used the other to turn the bathtub water on. The sound of the running water causing the lycan to holler out louder enough to overpower crying infants.

She went to toss him in to make things easier, but he had a strong grip on her and caused her to fall in with him. They both were now wet and Alcina was pissed, her anger overshadowed by the yelps of Hayden as his fluffy fur was now a soggy wet mess.

“Now”

Suppressing her slowly fading rage, Alcina began washing the mutt, ignoring his whimpers and trembles. She knew they were only for show, her daughters acted the same way whenever they needed a bath.

Grabbing her bottle of shampoo and cursing to herself about using it on someone other than herself, she pour some on Hayden’s fur and scrubbed it in. Watching the creamy white foam turn grey to brown, it did make the Countess wonder if Lycans needed to wash separate from their human form.

Turning him around to get a good look at his face, she meet face to face with what could only be a lycans version of a grumpy face, a look she grew familiar with her daughters.

“Oh don’t give me that, you’re perfectly fine bathing when you’re in your human form.” She said as she rubbed his ears. “And it’s important to be clean.” “Rahrah rup!” Was all the pathetic boy could say in whatever language he was trying to speak, sounded more like a husky. Do lycans have different breeds? Worth a look into.

After all was done and she managed to get him to clean himself, which took sometime, like hell she was washing his balls.

Alcina got out of the bathtub and grabbed a towel, cringing upon noticing a good portion of lycan fur covering her torso. At least she was done, now it was time for bed. With or without a lycan pillow.

___

Alcina’s receiver rang early in the morning, she picked it up and answered. Mother Miranda had called in for a meeting and expected her to be there in an hour, that was all she said before hanging up. The Mistress thought it was strange at first, but than thought that it might’ve been about those Umbrella people.

Getting up off her chair and prepping herself, she made her way out of her room and downstairs. Notifying her daughters that she’ll be out for a bit, while being told that Hayden was out for a stroll. She took note of that before putting her coat on and walking out of her castle.

Whilst making her way out of her home entrance, she saw from the distance Hayden in his lycan form. He was playing in the snow and trying to catch birds. She smiled and made her way to him.

She got his attention upon her calling his name and ran to her. “Enjoying your freedom?” She asked and immediately got a happy nod from him. “Good. I’ll be going over to Mother Miranda’s for a meeting, don’t get hurt while I’m gone.”

She walked passed him but was quickly lifted up from below and held like a child, she looked to see what had grabbed her and saw Hayden’s fuzzy muzzle. He had picked her up in his arms and looking at her with a goofy smile.

Blinking for a second before smiling, Alcina rolled her eyes. “Fine, you can carry me there. But warn me next time before suddenly grabbing me.” She relaxed in his grip. “Now lets get going, I’ll lead the way.”

Giving a satisfied huff, Hayden bolted to where Alcina pointed to and continued doing with each direction she pointed to until they finally arrived at the church. Alcina has got to admit, that kind of travel was fun.

Gently putting her down with a huff, Hayden followed her inside the slightly dismantled building.

In the building were the three leaders. Donna Beneviento, Karl Heisenberg and Salvatore Moreau. Behind the three was Mother Miranda in her usual outfit. The group said their greetings before getting ready for the meeting, Donna’s doll Angie and Salvatore being curious about Alcina’s furry companion.

As they took their places, Mother Miranda started speaking. It was mostly about the Umbrella Corp and their doings around the area. During the meeting, Angie was petting Hayden who was staring at her with slight fear and curiosity. Salvatore did his best to pay attention to Mother Miranda, but couldn’t help but be curious about Hayden as well.

Alcina felt good seeing her boy getting attention from the other leaders, she could even tell Donna was interested.

After the meeting was done, Hayden stood up and looked up at the other lycans who stared at him in great caution. Alcina could tell that he didn’t feel welcomed and decided to be vocal about it.

Placing a hand on Hayden’s shoulders, she spoke up. “If you feel uncomfortable with my son being here, you’re going to feel disappointed to hear that he’s staying here with me.”

“The boys just don’t like foul blood.” Karl said while leaning back in his seat, the lycans growling in agreement. Alcina’s teeth gritting at this.

Angie tugged on Hayden’s tail. “But he’s a cute puppy!” She let go upon Donna calling over to her and ran over.

“I agree with them, that boy don’t give off any good vibes.” The bearded man grabbed his hammer. “And isn’t it strange that as soon as he came into the picture, this umbrella folk started coming in.” The Mistress stood up from her chair in a fury and glared at her brother. “How DARE you!”

“Enough!” Mother Miranda demanded loudly, the two stopping and looking at her. “Non of this nonsense, the meeting is done. Not another word of venom.” She said before vanishing.

Karl sighed and walked off along with his pack and Salvatore, leaving Alcina with Hayden and Donna with Angie alone.

Getting close to her son and rubbing his back, Alcina reassured him. “Don’t listen to them, they’re just mad that you’re more adorable.” Hayden smiled softly at her but he still felt uneasy.

“Doggy!” Shouted the doll as she got out of Donna’s grasp and ran to Hayden, cackling loudly. This caused his fur to fluff up in fright and run away from the doll, but no matter how fast he went she was still close behind.

Donna walked up to Alcina and signed an apology to the tall Countess about Angie. Alcina smiled and told her not to worry about it, it was good to see that Angie loved him, even if it scared Hayden.

Hayden ran and hid behind Donna who was startled by the sudden hold he had on her shoulders, people barely touch her and Alcina made it clear to Hayden that he shouldn’t suddenly grab at the woman.

He looked at his mother in distress before slowly letting go. Jumping back a bit as Angie hopped into Donna’s arms. Hayden slowly walking behind Alcina, peeking at Donna who held the doll like a baby.

“Hayden.” Alcina spoke up. “This is Donna Beneviento and Angie, treat them with respect and don’t bother her too much.”

Hesitantly Hayden scooted closer to Donna and sniffed her, Donna allowed it and gave him a gently face rub. His tail wagged happily upon her touch and he rested his head on her palms, looking at her lovingly.

Annnd that is how Hayden won Donna’s heart, another victim taken by Hayden’s looks. Alcina was content with this.

After they had a small chat, the four left and went back home.

Hayden carrying her home to her slight joy, it felt lovely resting up against his fluffy fur.

___

After sometime had passed and Mistress Dimitrescu convincing Miss Claire for a dinner date, she had finally managed to get a date with her. But only if it’s not in the castle and that she preps it with no help, which seems easy enough.

It was not.

She, the Mistress of the Dimitrescu family, was struggling to set up a date by herself. She never felt such shame before in her life, and it didn’t help that Claire knew she was struggling.

But she will not falter! She will make the dinner date the best!

The Countess finally chose the location and picked out the needed decorations, all she needed to do was make the food. She’s cooked before, many many years ago, surely making a nice pot of pasta won’t be difficult.

“Mother, what’s that burning smell?!” Called out Cassandra from the next room.

Alcina stood over her burning pot of pasta, contemplating her life choices and skills.

“I need to do some reading…” The poor tall woman said as she threw the soggy burnt food away and walking out of the kitchen, ignoring the stares from the maids.

She made her way to the library and began looking for books on cooking, she really needed it. It was her one light of hope for this situation, even if it was something so simple.

So she read and read until she got a good grasp on the skills of cooking, she hoped so.

___

Tonight was the night, everything was prepped and Alcina was dressed. She had notified Miss Claire of the date location and set off to way for her.

The area she had set up was a small hill near the far end of the castle location, it had a couple of trees on top of it and with spring peeking its head, the leaves were starting to grow again and the grass was visible. Perfect for a picnic date.

As the Mistress arrived at the spot and prepared everything before sitting down, she waited. She placed her hat down next to her and straightened her red dress, also making sure her make up and hair was perfect. Though the more she waited, the more anxious she became.

The wave of anxiety washing away as the maiden walked up the hill, her flowing creamy coloured dress waving in the wind. The Mistress couldn’t help but blush, watching as the woman sat down in front of the Countess and smiled warmly at her, the motion causing Alcina’s heart to flutter.

The silence was broken by Claire who complimenting her outfit, that was enough to snap the pale woman back to reality and speak up.

“Why thank you.” She smirked and crossed her legs while grabbing two glasses. “I should say the same to you, you’re quite.” She poured Claire a glass of red wine and gave it to her. “Exquisite, my dear.”

Now it was Miss Velvetine’s turn to be flustered, but her smile still remained as she took a sip of her drink. “Thank you, Mistress.”

“Please.” The Mistress added. “Call me Alcina.” She said as she poured herself a glass and took a long sip, her date nodding to her.

“So. I see you made the dinner like I requested, the others told me of the troubles you had.” Claire said before chuckling at Alcina’s embarrassed expression. “Shall we eat?”

Alcina begrudgingly nodded before opening the basket and getting a small pot of badly made spaghetti out, it looked sloppy to be quite honest and Claire did her best not to show she was afraid of it. Grabbing to plates and giving them a plate each, Alcina took a bite of her creation.

She should’ve gone for just simple eggs and toast.

While chewing on her food, Claire spoke up. “It’s... good.” She lied and Alcina knew it was a lie, but the Mistress appreciated her trying to be nice. “You really outdid yourself.” Oh now she was just trying to bandage up the wound of.

After toughening it out and clenching her fist, Alcina swallowed her food and weakly smiled. “I’m glad you like it.” She quickly grabbed her wine and took a sip to wash the taste down, never again.

To break the awkward tension and to hopefully avoid eating, the two began talking about each others interest.

Alcina felt relaxed when hearing her date’s stories, even laughed at a few funny ones. Even Miss Velvetine shared laughs with her, her heart fluttering everytime the maiden spoke.

The duo continued chatting and even flirting with each other until the sun lowered, the wine bottle long emptied and the pot of spaghetti untouched. Good riddance.

As night came to darken the sky and the temperature became cooler, the Mistress and Miss Velvetine made their way back to the castle, granted slightly drunk.

___

Upon reaching the front door of the building and watching Alcina open the door, Claire spoke up.

“Thank you, Alcina. I enjoyed the dinner, even if we barely touched it.” She chuckled a bit while the tall woman smiled in response. “The kids are lucky to have you as a mother.”

She stopped as she was about to walk into her home, looking down at the brunette with a slightly surprised expression, but let her continue.

“I know they’re not your biological children, but yet you still treat them as your own. I was even told by the other workers about how you got Hayden.” Claire followed Alcina inside the building. “I know that most would’ve given up on him, but you somehow managed to get through with him. You must have some powerful tough love.”

Alcina stood behind the woman, a warm smile on her face. “Thank you.” She uttered out as she led the young woman to her bedchambers, they were both too drunk and tired to have any fun.

The two women stood at the chamber entrance, Claire being stopped by Alcina and being face to face with her. Their lips only inches away from each other.

“I’m glad you enjoy the dinner date, I enjoyed your company.” She cupped the woman’s chin and smirked as Claire blushed slightly “And I would like to show you how glad I was to have you.”

The Countess closed her eyes and got closer to kiss the maiden.

“Whatcha doing?” Hayden asked smugly as he stood next to the two, loudly eating beef jerky.

Now the moment was ruined.

Letting out an annoyed groan and standing up straight, the tall woman responded. “It was going to a wonderful moment, Hayden.”

Claire giggled at Alcina’s dismay before wishing the two a goodnight and walking into her bedchambers, leaving the two alone.

Alcina glared and crossed her arms at her child, while he still had the same smug look on his face. “Well at least I got somewhere, unlike you.”

The young man held up the packet of jerky, “And I salute you, Mother.” He lowered the snack. “But did you bed with her?” Her brow twitched in small anger at that response and she furrowed her brows. “No! I won’t pressure her like that, I have standards.”

Nodding as he finished his snack, Hayden spoke. “Good, still means I got a chance.” He chuckled as his mother slapped his head. “I’m joking! I’m joking!”

She pointed a finger at him and letting out a huff. “Don’t even think about doing anything she doesn’t like.”

After putting the packet away in his pockets, he smiled. “Of course I won’t, I have standards, Mother.” He said before walking off out of the chambers. “Also Daniela broke a vase while you were gone!”

As he left, Mistress Dimitrescu let out a long sigh. While her little moment was ruined, she still felt satisfied for the day and felt good knowing her date didn’t run off.

She chuckled before leaving the area, she could really use a nap after today.

[monstersdownthepath]

Milestone Spotlight: Deskari, Lord of the Locust Host

Chaotic Evil Demon Lord of Chasms, Infestations, and Locusts

Domains: Chaos, Destruction, Evil, War Subdomains: Blood, Catastrophe, Demon, Tactics

The Complete Book of the Damned, pg. 42~43

Obedience: Meditate while allowing insects or worms of any type to crawl upon your body. If no such vermin is available, you must instead lie facedown in a trench dug into soil and mouth prayers to Deskari into the dirt while scratching yourself with sharp bits of bone or wood. Benefit: Gain a +4 profane bonus on saving throws against disease and against effects caused by Vermin.

Have a buggy familiar? Done. Don’t have one, but a party member does? Done. No one have a buggy familiar? Keep some bugs as a pet; done. Can’t? Well then this gets a little harder. Plopping yourself down besides an anthill is unfeasible for multiple days in a row, not to mention dangerous to your health if they believe you’re a carcass that must be scavenged. Sometimes, you can just dig straight down a little bit to find some nice worms to plop right onto your chest for an hour, though heaping loose soil on yourself every day has dangers of its own.

Not as many as the secondary option, though. The wording here implies that you can’t use mud or sand, though your DM may be a bit more lenient here because it also requires you to scratch yourself to pieces with sharpened wood and bone. Thankfully you don’t need a carved knife or anything so complex, you can just snap a branch off a tree or somesuch if you need to (and bones are always available for adventurers!), but covering yourself in bleeding scratches every day will likely get people wondering what on earth you’re doing each time you vanish for an hour, which can lead to numerous uncomfortable questions. Unlike many Demon Lords, Deskari is known all across the Inner Sea Region because he’s responsible for the Worldwound, one of the greatest threats to life on the entire planet, and as such if you’re publicly found to be one of his followers? Roll up a new sheet, bud. It only gets harder if you use literally any of Deskari’s Boon abilities in public, too.

The added danger of worshiping one of the most prominent Demon Lords in the setting can make for an experience that’s both interesting and potentially hair-pulling, because you’ve got to make extra sure not to have your faith revealed to the authorities of a given settlement. At the very least, dropping bug-infested soil onto your body each day to perform the first ritual could be explained away as you communing with nature or the earth, rather than the insects within the earth, but carving up your own skin while laying facedown in a hole is a pretty big red flag. ... Also, now that I think about it, if you’re facedown in a hole, it’d be pretty difficult to scratch anything but your back and sides, right? Hm.

The benefit is low-tier. Diseases are rarely too much of a danger if you have any sort of caster in your party, though stopping them before they begin will save you a bit of gold in the long run. A universal saving throw bonus against the abilities of an entire creature type would be fantastic if that creature type wasn’t Vermin, who are known for A) disease and B) poison and little else. In Deskari’s favor, this bonus does indeed apply to the Distraction ability of most swarming Vermin, so a bit of extra help to avoid being Nauseated is always welcome.

Boons are acquired slowly: the first once you reach 12 hit dice, the second at 16, and the third at 20. However, the Evangelist, Exalted, and Sentinel Prestige Classes can be entered as early as level 7; doing so grants you the Boons at levels 10, 13, and 16 instead. Servants of demons may also take the Demoniac Prestige Class; you don’t get the Boons any faster than E/E/S, but you may select which Boon set you get, and you get cool demon-related powers!

-------

EVANGELIST

-------

Boon 1: Locusts’ Gifts. Gain Jump 3/day, Acid Arrow 2/day, or Fly 1/day

Why bother looking at Jump when Fly is an option? Granted, getting affected with Jump at level 10 (the earliest you can get this spell) means you can, among other things, clear a 30ft gap with no effort and get yourself an Eight Foot Vertical Leap... But flight will always be infinitely more useful. The biggest difference is that, while they last the same amount of time (1 min/level), you get Jump 3/day. It’s really up to you if Eight Foot Vertical Leap three times a day would be more useful for your character than a 60ft fly speed once a day, though to me, staying out of an enemy’s reach is always preferable.

Acid Arrow is alright in that respect. The damage it deals is pathetically low, but it’s repeated damage that cannot be resisted once it begins (unless the victim can jump in some water immediately) and both castings of the spell can stack together to make the damage stack on. I personally can’t think of a reason you’d take it over Fly, though.

Boon 2: Avatar of the Locust Host. 1/day, you can cast Verminous Transformation as a spell-like ability; the swarming parts of your body are comprised of locusts, and your swarm attack deals double damage to Plant creatures.

For 1 round/level, you transmute portions of your body into swarming locusts that can chow down on up to four Medium targets (or one Large+ target) within 10ft of you, automatically dealing 4d6 damage and forcing the victim to make a Fortitude save (10+1/2 your HD+Cha mod) or take 1d3 Con and Str damage from poison. Spooky! It also forces you into melee range more or less, but your swarm form also means you only take half damage from piercing and slashing attacks!

Also, it hits four targets for automatic damage. If you find yourself in a melee you want no part of, suddenly exploding into locusts and harrying your foes can break their morale in a hurry. Slapping four enemies at once means you can easily chew through smaller foes while damaging larger ones without the usual dangers of using AoE magic (like hitting allies), and 4d6 is a nice sweet spot of being a good chunk of damage without it being overpowering. And, again, it’s automatic; no attack roll needed, with the only interactions being the enemy HP going down and them rolling versus your poison. Being stuck in melee while your bugs are literally eating the enemy’s Str bit by bit doesn’t sound so bad, all of a sudden!

I like the touch that it deals double damage to Plant monsters, because if any intelligent Plant creature sees you turn into a swarm of locusts, they’re probably going to stop fighting immediately. The downside to this ability is that it lasts only 1 round/level and can only be used 1/day, so it may fall into Too Awesome To Use territory, though I’d personally unleash it any time I was facing a group of enemies that was even slightly challenging.

Boon 3: Infestation of the Flesh. 1/day as a standard action, you can transform into a Hellwasp Swarm for up to 8 hours. You gain Swarm traits (including immunity to weapon damage), a swarm attack, and the Hellwasp’s poison, Distraction, and Inhabit abilities. While in this form, you cannot perform any actions that the swarm could not perform; this includes casting spells with somatic components and wielding weapons or items. While not using the swarm’s Inhabit ability, you can return to your normal form as a full-round action. This is a Polymorph effect.

Heurghh, nasty. For your enemies, of course! You’re perfectly fine.

The fact you gain these abilities rather than just replacing your statblock with that of the Swarm makes me think that this means it runs largely on how other Polymorph spells in PF works; namely, your statblock largely remains the same, but new stuff is stapled onto it. If this is true, it means that your swarm damage is 4d6 rather than 3d6 (and increases to 5d6 once you hit 20 HD), and your poison and Distraction have a save of (10+1/2 your HD+your Con mod) rather than what a Vanilla Hellwasp Swarm possesses. Nice!

The real important bit here, though, is that you have the swarm’s Inhabit ability. Suddenly, any enemy that’s not outright killed is an unholy vessel for your power. Your poor victims are eternally Dominated by your presence until an outside source either kills them or expels you, or you finally eat their Constitution to 0 after a few hours. Even then, though, you continue puppeting their corpse around like a second skin, shielding yourself from attacks as you march to find a better body. If you don’t really need your spells or items, you can spend a full adventuring day walking around inside other people’s skin 

Dominating your victim means you can use all of their powers for your own evil benefit, so if that wizard you just knocked out still has spell slots left? If that troll is still kicking? If that dragon just recharged its breath weapon? All yours to command. Plus, even if your other foes kill your new shell, you continue to animate their corpse to use as a beatstick or an extra mountain of flesh to protect your insectoid form.

It takes a full minute to inhabit a victim, so you can’t just jump from shell to shell in the middle of a pitched battle, but you know what you can do? Jump from shell to shell all day until just before you reach the final boss, and then hop out and reform, basically fresh as a daisy with all your resources ready to tear into them. It’s very hard to take meaningful damage while inhabiting a shell, so while the rest of your party is nearly tuckered out and running on fumes and what few resources they could cling to, you’re likely barely below 75% health and have spent exactly one (1) of your dailies for the current session.

-------

EXALTED

-------

Boon 1: Swarming Susurrus. Gain Inflict Light Wounds 3/day, Summon Swarm 2/day, or Summon Monster III (Vermin only) 1/day.

Inflight Light Wounds has already fallen off by this point, useful only to patch up any Undead allies you may have to keep them on their feet, Summon Swarm can be dangerous to use unless you conjure it at maximum range, as the swarms are indiscriminate in their tide of destruction. The Vermin-only restriction on Summon Monster III means you’re likely going to be stuck summoning Fiendish Giant Ants or a pair of Fiendish Giant Centipedes to aid you. In either case, their usefulness in combat is minor if you’re fighting foes of a similar CR to your level, with the main selling point being that their mindlessness means an enemy Enchanter cannot control them and turn them against you.

All three of these are fairly underwhelming, but Summon Swarm is fun to drop directly on an enemy’s space, because it will continue to pursue the closest source of flesh it can--just make sure it’s not yours!

Boon 2: Swarm-Walker. You can walk through any swarm without taking damage or suffering any ill effects—swarms recognize you as one of their own. As long as you stand within a swarm, you gain a +4 profane bonus on initiative checks and saving throws.

Well... I guess that’s alright? I like the idea of monkey swarms, swarms of Beheaded, and masses of Grey Goo all leave you be just as a swarm of ticks or locusts would.

Taking advantage of the Initiative bonus requires conjuring or finding a swarm beforehand, or being ambushed by a swarm that falls upon you. You should be trying to summon things before combat begins anyway (due to most summoning spells taking a full round), though if you have no means of doing so beyond what Deskari has granted you, Summon Swarm is a pathetic way to reap this ability’s benefits as your shield of vermin crawls off to go eat an adjacent ally. You’ll want something more reliable, such as Vomit Swarm or Mad Monkeys (the former even scaling better with your level than Summon Swarm) to invoke this ability, not only making creatures in melee with you regret it, but bolstering your saves against everything by an additional +4.

... But only as long as the swarm lasts, and only while you don’t move outside of it or it moves away, and only as long as your enemies don’t blast you with AoE that kills the swarm instantly, and so on and so forth. It’s a very difficult ability to really take advantage of, and half of its usefulness is completely lost if you’re only inundated in a swarm before combat begins.

Boon 3: Swarm Master. 1/day, you can cast Quickened Insect Plague.

No, no, no no no! Awful! 

Yes, it lets you take better advantage of Swarm-Walker, but this is by no means a good final Boon! Come on, Deskari, if you want our assistance in your fiendish goals, you need to sweeten the deal a little bit here! No one’s going to want to be your Exalted if all you have to offer them is a 1/day wall of wasps!

That’s more or less what this ability is, by the way. It may as well be literally called Wall of Wasps, because your summoned swarms (all five of them) can’t move from the spot they’re summoned in. While they can act as obscuring cover, their low HP (31) will rarely survive a single Fireball or Cone of Cold from a level-appropriate enemy, and the DC 13 save on their poison and Distraction abilities will rarely land on any target you need them to. Both their damage and their poison deal so little damage (2d6 and 1 Dex, respective) that they’re unlikely to keep anyone from just walking through the storm of wasps to get at you,

It’s more for intimidation than anything else, making an enemy rethink coming closer. Intimidation and using the Wasp Ocean to take advantage of Swarm-Walker, and that’s just not good enough in my book.

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SENTINEL

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Boon 1: Split the Earth. Gain Stumble Gap 3/day, Create Pit 2/day, or Spiked Pit 1/day.

I’ve stated my love of the usefulness of Create Pit and Spiked Pit in the past (under the Sentinel Boons), with them being pseudo Save-or-Sucks that can take anything without a decent Strength score or some Climb skill ages to clamber back out of the pit, while you and your allies either deal with other foes, or rain destruction down on them from above. Even if the victim makes their initial save, the pit doesn’t go anywhere, letting you push your targets in one at a time if need be. Since it’s literally just a huge hole in the ground, you can even hurl multiple enemies inside!

Which leaves a unique spell in Stumble Gap. It’s a cute spell, essentially cursing a single 5ft tile with a mobile, extradimensional gap that tries tripping up everyone who enters it. Anyone in the square when you first cast the spell or who enters the square while it’s still in effect must succeed a Reflex save (11+Cha mod) or fall prone into an adjacent square and take 1d6 damage. The real kicker, though? Even succeeding your save against the gap makes you stumble ever-so-slightly... which, for some reason, gives you a -1 penalty to ALL ROLLS AND CHECKS for a full round. Everything from attack rolls to damage rolls to saving throws to Knowledge checks (somehow) suffer a -1 penalty for a full round.

It’s not much, but it’s an interesting consolation prize and a very interesting line of text in what is otherwise a very simple spell. The penalty to every roll they make even on success makes it almost worth taking, if just for the possibility of making a 1-point success into a failure. It’d be difficult to make use of it more than once per casting, but I can see some amusing scenarios arising if you cast it three times in a row to either cover a single 15ft hallway, or in a long line in a 5ft hallway as a crowd of foes behind you trips all over themselves and each other.

Still, for all its potential (comedic and otherwise), I’d stick with the more reliable Create Pit or Spiked Pit.

Boon 2: Planar Wound. 3/day as a standard action, you can strike the ground with a scythe to open a fissure under your feet or the feet of an adjacent Medium or smaller creature (if you target yourself, the rift opens just enough to let you—and only you—through, regardless of your size). This fissure is a planar rift that sends the creature to the Rasping Rifts in the Abyss, as per Plane Shift, except the fissure can transport only one creature and closes instantly after doing so (or after being avoided). An unwilling target can attempt a Reflex save (DC = 10+1/2 HD+Cha mod) to evade the fissure and negate this effect. Flying and levitating creatures are immune to this effect, and a creature capable of flight that is standing on the ground can avoid this effect if it succeeds at a DC 20 Fly check (it can still attempt a Reflex save to avoid the spell if it fails this Fly check). 

im sorry what

did. do you just. you just... you just send them to the Abyss? Like straight up?

There are Save-Or-Die effects in Pathfinder, and then there’s this. This is a step above Save-Or-Die, this is Save-Or-Be-Personally-Delivered-To-A-Demon-Lord-As-A-Plaything. This is Save-Or-Wish-You-Could-Die. If you manage to hit an enemy with this, they have a limited time to Plane Shift anywhere but where they are right now or they’re done. That’s it. On the best of days the Abyss is a hostile place to be, but the Rasping Rifts is close to the Worldwound and thus crawling with demons eager to pounce on the first non-demon creature they see. It’s also the personal realm of Deskari and is flooded with a hive-mind of verminous beasts, and as a level 13 servant, he’s likely to be paying attention to you and everything you do. He’ll know when you’ve sent someone to him.

He may even ask you to. Knock them unconscious or strike them with some form of paralysis and they can’t make their Reflex save, so they’re helplessly delivered right to the Lord of the Locust Host, who himself is a CR 29 horror beyond the hope of a single mortal to beat. The lack of a restriction beyond size means you can make extra use of effects which shrink your enemies down to ruin their lives even further. At the very least, since it operates like Plane Shift, the delivery point isn’t exact; it may take some time for the Demon Lord to find out where its new toy has gotten off to.

A DM wishing (justifiably) to rein this ability in may have Deskari command the Sentinel to hold off on sending just any old victim to the Rifts, and instead focus on specific targets. Of course, a DM can also point out that this ability carries with it the risk of losing out on loot, as your victim takes everything with them when they go. Be wary about using this on someone who’s carrying the Plot Device!

... using it on yourself, by the way, isn’t recommended. I doubt Deskari would tolerate cowardice. Could be an interesting roleplaying opportunity, though, bargaining with the demon horde of the Rasping Rifts, offering to lead them out. Just make sure you do have a way to get back out, because Planar Wound only goes in one direction. I wonder what happens if you use it while already in the Rasping Rifts?

Boon 3: Welcome the Rasping Rifts. 1/day, you can cast Rift of Ruin as a spell-like ability. When the rift closes, each creature still present within the rift must attempt a Will save (against the spell’s save DC = 18+Cha). Creatures that succeed at this save are expelled violently (as normal for the spell), while those that fail are expelled violently into the Rasping Rifts in the Abyss. If you close the rift early to summon creatures, you summon one additional creature of the same type.

For those who don’t know what the Rift of Ruin spell does, the short version is that it’s a souped up Spiked Pit spell. The hole is 5ft wide, 5ft/level long (so 80ft when you first get it), 60ft deep, and loaded with chewing mouths, acidic mist, starving fiends, and all sorts of other Abyssal nasties that make it painful to stay inside the rift. Everyone and everything inside takes 6d6 damage that’s randomly selected from bludgeoning, piercing, slashing, Electricity, Cold, Fire, or Sonic upon entry to the rift and each round they begin inside of it. If the spell ends and everything’s shot out, they take double damage that round and are knocked prone as the rift spits them back out.

So, every good thing I have to say about Pit spells? Say them bigger and louder here. But, that’s not all! Because you can end the spell early to instead call upon an Abyssal denizen, summoning two Bebeliths or two Vrocks, 1d3+1 Shadow Demons or Succubi, OR 1d4+2 Babaus or Brimoraks. Two Bebeliths or two Vrocks is usually the correct choice, as they’re resilient and dangerous in their own rights (especially Bebeliths, with their ability to shred armor like paper), but swamping stronger foes with smaller enemies can quickly finish a fight... if it wasn’t finished in the first place by the Rift of Ruin vomiting the victim into the Rasping Rifts.

One fun thing to try is to sit at the edge of the rift and waiting for an enemy to almost, almost climb their way back out before snapping the thing shut and either sending them to the Abyss, or stranding them on your side where they’re prone, tired, and now surrounded by demons.

Deskari is kind to his Sentinels.

You can read more about him here.

[recentanimenews]

The 42 Greatest Anime Moments of Monkey D. Luffy

  May 5 is the birthday of One Piece's main character Monkey D. Luffy, and over the past couple of decades of his existence, he's given us some moments that will stay in our minds forever. And so I've decided to chronicle 42 of his best ones, antics that will hopefully remind you how much you love the free-spirited, determined, ridiculous Birthday Best Boy. One note, though — while this list does contain some of those sweet, sweet fight scenes, I've already written a list that ranked his 20 greatest knockouts against bad guys. So, in order to not repeat that list entirely, I've tried to mix it up a little bit. 

  1. Luffy Wakes Up From A Great Nap

I can't think of a better anime debut for Monkey D. Luffy than "wakes up in the barrel that he miraculously survived a whirlpool in and immediately knocks out some pirates by accident." It's everything fun about the dude rolled into one.

2. Luffy Gets Coby To Hit Him

    One thing that doesn't get mentioned enough about Luffy is his haphazard, yet skillful ingenuity. He knows that Koby will never get to join the Marines if he's associated with pirates, so Luffy, his one brain cell working overtime, gets Koby to punch him in order to prove that they're not friends because would friends brawl on the floor of a restaurant? 

3. Luffy Gets The Straw Hat

A moment from the first chapter of the manga that was delayed until Episode 4 of the anime, Luffy getting the straw hat from Shanks is iconic. It sets in motion his entire journey and creates a symbol that represents freedom, adventure, and destiny.

4. Luffy Gives Nami The Straw Hat

  Luffy giving Nami his straw hat is more than just a simple, comforting gesture. It's Luffy telling Nami that if she wants, she'll be a Straw Hat now and for the rest of her life. Nami may have problems, but she'll never have to deal with them alone ever again.

5. Luffy Gets His First Bounty

    By gaining a bounty when he takes down Arlong, Luffy is introduced to the wider world of pirating, the World Government, and eventually the Grand Line. Though Buggy's reveal that he knew Shanks and Mihawk's appearance hinted at a wider world, this is Luffy's first real step into it.

  6. Luffy Smiles At Death

    Luffy obviously doesn't want to die. But as he smiles at the crowd and his crew while Buggy brings a sword down onto his neck, he grins. Because he didn't die in vain. He never became Pirate King and he never found the One Piece, but he did live his life exactly the way that he wanted to. And that's more important than any title or treasure. I'm glad he didn't die, though. They never would've found the Grand Line if Zoro had ascended to the role of Captain. They'd probably still be arguing in the Loguetown harbor.

7. Luffy Holds Up Hiriluk's Flag

   Wapol wanted to destroy Hiriluk's flag and thus eliminate his legacy. But Luffy — smoking due to being recently shot by a cannon and holding up the flag — proved that's not something you can just do. As long as someone is there to fight for it, a flag is forever.

  8. Luffy Disagrees With Vivi

   Vivi, frustrated, enraged, and embarrassed about the treatment of her country, was more than ready to sacrifice herself for it ... and only herself. But Luffy wasn't hearing it. If she was going down, they were all going down. It wasn't just Vivi's fight anymore. The Straw Hats had reached Ride or Die status.

  9. Luffy Beats Crocodile

  I did a list of Luffy's best knockouts so I'm not gonna list every major punch here. However, the ones that are especially meaningful deserve recognition. And this one, where, after two defeats, Luffy battered Crocodile up through the streets of Alubarna, is inarguably one of the most memorable. It's a triumph that's a long time coming, equal parts brutal and satisfying.

  10. Luffy Lets Himself Get Beat Up And Meets Blackbeard

  Mirroring Shanks' restraint when he let himself get harassed by the Mountain Bandits, here we see Luffy decide not to fight Bellamy and instead he listens to Bellamy's foolish proclamations about why dreams suck and why you shouldn't have them and why Mylo Xyloto is the best Coldplay album, probably. However, even if he didn't need the pick-me-up, Blackbeard meets him outside to reaffirm that dreams never die. It would be a super nice remark ... if anyone but Blackbeard was saying it.

  11. Luffy Is Immune To Enel

  Until this point, Enel is borderline unstoppable, able to strike down anyone in his path and — with the help of his "mantra" —  barely takes any damage in the process. And it's made him pretty cocky. But to see Enel's face distort in cartoonish disbelief when he realizes that Luffy is a Rubber Type Pokemon and that he's impervious to Electric Types is so joyously satisfying.

  12. Luffy Decides To Get Rid Of The Going Merry

    With the Going Merry slowly becoming unusable and actually becoming a handicap to the crew, Luffy figures that it's time to find a new ship. It's a sad moment, but you can't help but see Luffy's side. A good pirate crew needs a good pirate ship. And if the Going Merry suddenly sinks, Luffy is dead. Like very, very dead.

  13. Luffy Faces Usopp

  Usopp relates to the Going Merry, fearing that its "weakness" and "inadequacy" represents his own. And so when Luffy decides to get rid of the ship, Usopp lashes out, causing Luffy to have to "put down" Usopp. It's a difficult decision, but it shows that Luffy isn't all laughs and "I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!" declarations.

14. Luffy Does Not Recognize Sogeking

    And then, after the most heartfelt showdown in the series, Luffy doesn't even recognize Usopp's Sogeking disguise, despite the fact that he has most of Usopp's traits, most of Usopp's weapons, and showed up only a little while after Usopp left. Oh, Luffy. Never stop being you.

  15. Luffy Goes Second Gear

  Power-ups are pretty common in anime. But Luffy saying that he needs to take his skills up another level so that he won't lose his friends still feels pretty special. And then the music kicks in and Luffy beats Blueno to a pulp and it's one of the most hype scenes in the entire series.

  16. Luffy Declares War On The World

   He'll always have a target on his back, he'll never be able to rest easy again, and the World Government will pursue him as long as he draws breath. Luffy knows this, but when the time comes to save Robin from CP9 in Enies Lobby, he doesn't hesitate to take on the whole world. It's just what friends do.

  17. Luffy Refuses To Fall

  When Luffy and Lucci fight, it isn't a quick contest. They go to absolute war on one another. And when Lucci thinks he's won, having left Luffy spitting up blood on the floor, we see that ... no. Luffy will not leave his feet. He has too much pride, too much grit, and too much determination. Defeat is not an option here. He will stop fighting to retrieve Robin when he's dead.

  18. Luffy Is Reunited With Garp

  For a long time, Luffy's actual flesh and blood family was a mystery. Shanks is kind of a cool uncle and Ace is someone that Luffy considers his brother, but where did Luffy, ya know, come from? As it turns out, his grandpa is the cannonball-throwing Marine Vice Admiral Garp, who is not only just as goofy as Luffy, but also really, really, really strong for being 76. What's his secret? Low carbs? Eiichiro Oda, please let me know.

  19. Luffy Punches The Celestial Dragon

  Luffy can't stand bullies or anyone that relishes the misery of others. So when a Celestial Dragon shoots Hatchan in the auctioneering house, Luffy walks right up to him and turns his face into a catcher's mitt.

  20. Luffy Loses His Crew

   Luffy's darkest hour (so far) comes when, in a fight with Kuma, Kizaru and the Pacifistas, his whole crew eventually gets wiped out and spread across the world. All the while, Luffy is powerless to stop it — his Gum Gum skills no match for Kuma's abilities. It's a truly pitiable thing to see Luffy beat his fists on the ground in futility, something entirely unlike any scene in the series before.

  21. Luffy Covers Sandersonia

   Back in Little Garden, Luffy agreed it wasn't necessary to actually have a reason for the fight between the giants. They were having an honorable contest between warriors. That was enough. Later when Sandersonia's scars were about to be revealed after a battle, Luffy covered them up. He had no interest in killing them or exposing their secrets. That is not what the battle was for. The contest was simply one that he wanted to win so he'd eventually get back to his crew.

  22. Luffy Decides To Save His Brother Before Reuniting With His Crew

   When Luffy learns that Ace is to be put to death, he must make a choice: Get the gang back together or dive into the depths of Impel Down and try to rescue his brother. He ends up choosing the latter, which shows a great deal of trust and respect for his crewmates. He knows they're strong enough to be OK without him for now.

23. Luffy Embraces Mr. 2

    This is just plain wholesome. Luffy's love for his friends is might be the best thing about him.

24.Luffy Falls From The Sky

    Luffy's story isn't just about his quest to find the One Piece, but the formation of a legend. And when Luffy and the other Impel Down escapees plummet from the sky into the Marineford war, you can practically see that legend being written.

  25. Luffy Faces The Admirals

  Yes, Luffy's attempts to kick a frozen log at them goes nowhere. And yes, Luffy is almost immediately knocked down by Kizaru when he tries to rush past him. But the guts in that kid! Facing down three of the most powerful men in the One Piece universe and demanding they give Ace back to him. That is moxie, my dudes.

  26. Luffy Goes Comatose

  Ace is dead. The mission has failed. A brother is lost. And all Luffy can do is go numb and lifeless. He has no words or actions to explain or react. A chunk of his soul has been ripped away.

  27. Luffy Realizes He Still Has His Friends

    Yes, his attempt to save Ace was a bust. But in the most hopeless of times, Jimbei asks him what he still has. And Luffy remembers he still has his friends — friends he has been there for in the past and who will most certainly be there for him later. They are still there. And because they are still there, Luffy's existence has worth.

  28. Luffy Gets An Upgrade

  Reuniting with his crew in Sabaody, it doesn't take too long for Luffy to find a way to show off the results of two years of training. He's been doing some grinding, so his skill tree has some new branches. He's unlocked some new abilities, and he's reached his evolved form. When a Pacifista comes at the Monster Trio (Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji,) they beat the bear out of it.

29. Luffy Decides To Make Fish-Man Island His Territory

    For the most part, Luffy doesn't really care about the dominance sought by other powerful characters. But after he's gotten to know the citizens of Fish-Man Island and he sees the terror caused by Big Mom, he tells her straight-up he's gonna defeat her and take Fish-Man Island under his protection. It's the closest that Luffy has ever gotten to being a character in Goodfellas.

  30. Luffy Allies With Law

  And then, shortly after talking trash to Big Mom, Luffy teams up with Trafalgar Law in a plot to overthrow Kaido, another Emperor of the Sea. It's a real leap forward for Luffy. One day, you're just a kid from East Blue punching everyone that seems mean. The next, you're taking an active role in changing the power structure of the entire world. That's just how it is sometimes, though. As Logic once said, "Who can relate?"

  31. Luffy Has Been "Picking Fights All Along"

    Luffy knows he doesn't just tumble from one situation to another. He isn't just a poor guy caught up in the gambits of powerful evil forces. No, Luffy has definitely chosen to live a life where he will interfere with your best-laid plans if he feels inclined to. And if that includes a lot of fighting, well, so be it.

  32. Luffy Reunites With Sabo

  It's been pretty much non-stop action since the beginning of the Post Time Skip era, and that hasn't really allowed for a ton of emotional moments for Luffy. But when he reunites with Sabo in the coliseum and his scream comes out as a mix of happiness, confusion, and surprise, he finally gets one. Cry it out, buddy. We love ya.

  33. Luffy And His Allies Head For Doflamingo

  From orchestrating a breakout in Impel Down to creating a charge toward Doflamingo with all the allies he met in the tournament to win the Flame-Flame Fruit, Luffy has slowly gone from being the captain of a small crew on a ship with an animal head on the front to being the full-on leader of a Pirate Alliance. Luffy 2020 is what I say.

  34. Luffy Goes Fourth Gear

  Years after the reveal of Second and Third Gear, we get Fourth Gear, a power-up that even more freakishly transforms Luffy's body. It's not graceful, nor is it particularly beautiful to behold, but it gets the job done.

  35. Luffy Beats Doflamingo

  Doflamingo — a man that's been a thorn in the side of nearly everyone in the world for about 15 years of anime history — finally gets taken down. And still, it's only a stepping stone to Wano. Somehow, Eiichiro Oda creates these moments that seem like the biggest events in history, and yet, they're only just the beginning.

  36. Luffy Refuses To Fight Sanji

  Luffy knows Sanji is conflicted and not really a bad guy. And he's also aware of the fact that he'll be creating an even bigger issue if he fights back against his chef. So he just takes the kicks, hoping Sanji sees there's another way out of this. Sadly, it'll be a few episodes before he realizes that.

  37. Luffy Waits For Sanji — And Then Punches — Sanji

    Sanji finding Luffy because his captain's stomach is grumbling super loud is so cartoonish and lovely — because what is Sanji's role if not to feed his captain? Of course, Luffy enjoys Sanji's rain-soaked cookin' and then he punches Sanji for still being a twerp that won't admit what he really feels.

38. Luffy Clashes With Big Mom

    Luffy stood beside Whitebeard, but this is his first real showdown with a Yonko. And it doesn't go very well. Big Mom is easily able to block him, which shows that, while Luffy has come a long way, he's still got a bit farther to go.

  39. Luffy Places The Hat On Katakuri

  Much like the previous covering of Sandersonia's shame, Luffy covers Katakuri's mouth with his hat after their duel. The two combatants fought and earned each other's respect. And so Luffy leaves Katakuri with his pride.

  40. Luffy Knows He's Arrived In Wano Due To The Swords

    That giant baboon is using a sword? Obviously this must be Wano, the land of samurai. That's Luffy logic at its most pure. 

  41. Luffy Promises Tama She Will Not Be Hungry Again

  For the most part, heading to Wano seemed like a pretty impersonal act. The only reason he thought about going there in the first place was because Law seemed pretty confident it was a solid idea. But then he meets Tama and learns that she — along with most of the country — is starving. So his journey to take down Kaido gets some personal stakes. He's now shouldering the hopes of an entire group of people.

  42. Luffy Is Beaten By Kaido

  OK, so Round 1 didn't go so well. Luffy pummeled Kaido with everything he had and Kaido one-shotted him with a melee weapon attack. Luffy has to rethink his strategy and expand his move-set and maybe, with some luck, Round 2 will be a tad more even. I can't wait to see what Luffy moments we have in store when One Piece returns!

  What is your favorite Luffy moment? Do any on this list stand out to you? Let me know in the comments!

      Daniel Dockery is a Senior Staff Writer for Crunchyroll. Follow him on Twitter!

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

  By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[lilacsos]

Doctor!AU: Ashton pt. 1

A/N: So, here is the first part of Doctor Ashton. I’m excited as always and I hope you all enjoy this. A big thanks to Bug @buggy-blogs for helping me out a lot with this one. Something very important to note, there is some stuff in italics in this one that is supposed to be a poem that Ashton writes. I DID NOT write any of it. I got everything from Ashton’s Instagram captions and I just slapped them together to make one poem.

*Warnings*: Language, mentions of cheating, brief mention of PTSD and alcoholism, alluding to a feeding/eating disorder but not in depth at all, depression, low self-esteem, bad friendships

Words: 4222

Masterlist  Character Info  Taglist

Day 4: Psych Intern

   Vanessa pushed the elevator button, ready to head up to the eighth floor for her fourth day of her internship. She was scared but she was excited to have another day to help people. However, right before the elevator doors closed, she heard someone yell, asking to hold the elevator. Vanessa quickly stuck her hand between the doors, causing them to pop open, giving the man who yelled time to come in. It wasn’t until he came closer that Vanessa realized it was Dr. Luke Hemmings. Once he reached the door and slipped inside, he pressed the button for the pediatric floor, floor six.

Luke smiled brightly at her as he leaned against the wall to catch his breath. “Thank you. I’m running late for a very important meeting and I don’t think I would have had time to catch a different elevator.” He took one last deep breath as he stuck out his hand to her. “My name is Dr. Luke Hemmings.”

“Oh, I know who you are. I’m sure everyone here does if I’m honest. You’re pretty popular and have quite the reputation.” Vanessa said with a shrug as she took his hand in hers. “I’m Vanessa Calhoun.”

“You’re Ashton’s newest intern right? He accepted you without any recommendations from anyone else. That’s very good. Ashton hates to just hand out jobs to anyone. Very nice job. Looks like you already have your own reputation.” Luke chuckled, taking a deep sigh as he rubbed the back of his neck. “So, this hospital is full of gossip. What have you heard so far?”

“You really want me to tell you all of that?” At Luke’s nod, Vanessa continued. “Well, I heard that all of the attendings and department heads make a bet each year and that Dr. Hood opened it up to include the whole hospital. Well, the whole hospital is part of the bed but not included to place the bets. I heard that Dr. Rosario doesn’t like my friend Dr. Knight but it’s reasonable. He’s annoying. And I heard- well, I don’t know if it’s appropriate to tell you.”

Luke shook his head and looked at the lights on the elevator. “We have one more floor before I leave you. Go for it.”

Vanessa nodded and chewed on her lip, a nervous habit she had since she was a kid. “Well, I heard that Dr. Irwin has a girlfriend that’s a nurse on your floor and that you don’t like her because she cheats on him.” At this, Luke tensed up and Vanessa quickly regretted that she ever opened her mouth in the first place. “I’m sorry if I struck a nerve or something. I was just saying a rumor that I heard.”

Luke shook his head and walked closer to the door as the elevator slowed to a stop. “Don’t be sorry; I asked you to tell me and so you did.” The doors opened and Luke stepped out, only a few people taking his place in the elevator. He quickly spun around and looked Vanessa in the eye. “You’re right and I expect you to not tell anyone anything.”

Vanessa nodded and swallowed thickly. “Promise.” She mumbled, unsure if he heard it, before the doors closed and she was off to her floor.

Vanessa sighed and rubbed her temples as she wandered into the locker room. She couldn’t believe that she had said something like that to Dr. Hemmings. She was talking about his close friend and his girlfriend like she was some girl in a trashy teen romance novel. She hardly stopped to think about how this could affect Luke. But, Luke said she was right. So Ashton really does have a girlfriend that Luke hates because she sleeps with other people. What kind of a person would do that to someone? Ashton seemed like an amazing guy with a heart for his job and the people he cares about. He was always trying to help his patients and his friends, no matter what it takes. It just doesn’t make sense why you would do that to someone so wonderful. Does Ashton even know? It was bad enough if he didn’t know but if he knew and he had just been going along with it, that’s horrible. To love someone and know they don’t feel the exact same but to hold out for whatever reason. Vanessa didn’t know if she could ever do that.

   After she was changed into her scrubs, she made her way to Ashton’s office. For whatever reason, there were only a few attendings and residents in the psych ward and so each intern reported to Ashton for their assignments. At least Vanessa hoped everyone else met with Ashton each day. She took a deep breath and knocked on his office door. When she heard him invite her in, she pushed her way inside, a little shocked to see a blonde girl sitting on the desk. “Nessa! Here for your assignment?” Ashton asked happily, standing as he met her at the door. “Oh, this is Chloe, she’s a nurse on the pediatric level and she’s… well, she’s my girlfriend.” He led her over to the desk and returned to his seat.

If looks could kill, Vanessa was certain she would be dead. Chloe looked at her with such hatred and disdain that Vanessa didn’t know it was possible. “Nessa? Is that your name or just a cute nickname Ash gave you?”

“Oh, oh no. It’s a nickname everyone calls me. It’s not just Ashton, I mean Dr. Irwin. It’s everyone.” Vanessa chewed on her lip and she wished she could just run away and never come back. She completely messed up and made a fool of herself in front of her boss and his girlfriend. She hated herself and wished she never had to face these people again but she did. “I’m sorry if that was weird or didn’t make any sense.”

“It’s fine.” Chloe rolled her eyes and turned to face Ashton. “Well, you have a job to do Ash, don’t let me keep you.” She snaked her arms around his shoulders, her fingers dipping under his lab coat and shirt, landing on his bare skin. Her lips followed the curve of his jaw as she neared his lips, all while Ashton looked everywhere but Vanessa and she was the only person Chloe looked at. Her mouth finally covered his in what looked like a disgusting kiss before she slithered out of the room.

“Sorry you had to see that.” Ashton started and rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know what that was all about. She really is never like that.”

Vanessa shook her head and plastered on a fake smile. “Not a problem. It happens. A girlfriend thing. It’s fine let’s just work. What am I doing today?”

“Something pretty fun, promise.”

      Ashton had taken Vanessa out into a large open space in the psych ward. There were about ten circular tables, each with five chairs surrounding them. While it was only her second day, Vanessa had never seen this part of the hospital before. She had no idea what she was going to be doing since she wanted to be a medical doctor that specifically worked in the psychology department. Ok, so that meant she wanted to be a psychiatrist so she could help people but she wasn’t just giving them tips, she could prescribe medication to help her patients. She thought that because of that she would just work with the medical aspects in this department but nothing about this room seemed very medical. She turned her head to face Ashton, a very confused look on her face. “What room is this?”

Ashton chuckled, seeing the look of confusion on her face. “I know this looks like there is nothing to help you learn here but it is an important part of working here. I assume that you want to continue your medical career in this hospital, correct?” Vanessa nodded, following Ashton as he walked towards the back of the room. “For Sacred Heart’s inpatient psychology ward, it is very important that everyone- psychologists, psychiatrists, and nurses- all spend time with patients outside of their respective job. So while you want to distribute medication, it’s required and important for you to spend time with everyone outside of the office. That’s what makes us different from the other hospitals. We believe in creating some sort of friendship between patients and employees. Of course there is a very fine line you cannot cross but we found that having doctors and nurses and such grow close to the people here, they have a better recovery time.”

Vanessa nodded, taking in all of the information he had given her. She understood what he meant and she was actually really excited to spend time with her patients outside of their hospital room. “That sounds amazing. What are we doing today?”

“I’m glad you asked because as part of group therapy, we like to have everyone create some kind of physical representation of their recovery.” He gestured to a long table next to them, which was covered in every art supply you could imagine. There were tubs full of colored pencils, paints of all kinds, brushes, and so much more. At the other end of the table were notebooks and pens; Vanessa assumed it was for those that wanted to write and not draw. “We also have some clay that some of our volunteers are pulling out now. We want to get some musical instruments soon but we have to rely on donations since it isn’t in the budget right now.”

“This is incredible Dr. Irwin. All of the medical journals said that you were changing the way inpatient mental health care was being done and they were right. This is all so wonderful and it will really impact the lives of everyone here.” Vanessa’s eyes were wide with wonder as she tried to take in everything that was all here to help people. She still didn’t know exactly what she was going to do today but she couldn’t wait.

“Ashton, please call me Ashton. And this isn’t all me. Everyone here on the floor wanted to change the way things were done and so this is something that everyone deserves credit for.” He smiled and rested his hand on her shoulder, pride radiating off of him. Vanessa could tell that he really took his job and the health of everyone here to heart and he did his best to make them better. It was admirable and honestly, kind of attractive. But that is not something she needs to think about. He has a girlfriend after all. “Today you and I will be sitting at one of the tables with some of the patients. We are there to help them if they need it, talk to them, and hold onto the scissors. That’s the biggest rule we have to follow right now. Sharp objects are only to be used in front of a nurse, doctor, or other volunteer.” Vanessa nodded once again before Ashton gestured to the table one more time. “Grab some art supplies. You’ll be making art too.”

“For my recovery? I’m not recovering from anything right now.”

“Maybe not in the way the patients are but there is something that each of us are struggling to overcome. No one is excluded from obstacles in their life.” Ashton grabbed a pen and paper and sat down at a table, Vanessa soon following him after she grabbed everything she needed. She took a seat next to him and looked over what he had with him.

“What are you going to do?” She whispered, noticing people begin to walk into the room.

“I think I’ll write some poetry. I don’t get to do it very often but I like it. What are you going to do?”

Vanessa snorted and shrugged. “I have no idea.” Vanessa gathered whatever she could from the table before she sat next to Ashton. She needed to make some sort of art representing something she was recovering from. She didn’t think there was anything in specific that she needed to recover from so right now, she was just going to have to wing it and hope for the best. She kept her eyes on the door, or at least she tried to. Ashton was twirling his pen in his hand and while Vanessa tried her best not to stare, she couldn’t help herself. Ashton had pretty large hands and the pen looked like it belonged to a child just based on the size alone. She didn’t understand how this man had such big hands. That’s probably why he wasn’t a surgeon; surgeons need to be very delicate and it can be easier for people with small hands. She almost tore her gaze away from him when he brought the pen to his mouth, his lips wrapping around the cap. She could feel her heart stop in her chest as she watched the way his lips curved around the small object. He kept it in his mouth, occasionally twisting it around as he thought. This is bad. If she stares at the lips of her boss all the time, she’d be in some hot water. He had a girlfriend. Granted she wasn’t amazing but still, she couldn’t do that. Not to mention he was her boss and she’s certain that there’s a rule against that.

“Hey guys,” Ashton stated, bringing Vanessa out of her thoughts as she looked around herself. People had gathered their supplies and took their seats and now her table was full. There was a man who looked to be in his early to mid-twenties, a young girl no older than 16, and a young boy who looked to be the same age as the girl. Each of them had different supplies laid out in front of them. “Looks like we have the youngsters today.” Ashton looked so excited to be here and it was infectious. While at first she was confused and scared, not that she isn’t now, his joy drifted over to her and now she had some excitement too. “Let’s go around and introduce ourselves. Maybe just say your name, age, and a fun fact about yourself. Would you like to start?” He asked, facing Vanessa.

She swallowed thickly and nodded. “I’m Dr. Vanessa Calhoun and I’m 27, almost 28 and I’m an intern here.” She glanced back at Ashton, to make sure she was doing this right. Her nerves came back and she could tell her voice was a little shaky but at the sight of Ashton’s approving smile, all her fears went away.

The young man on Vanessa’s left went next, telling the group that his name was Damian, he had just turned 26, and his mother was born in Greece. After Damian was the young girl, whose name was Nicole. She would be turning 17 in a month and her dream was to visit all the major landmarks from World War II. Then, the boy next to her went. He told the group his name was Leonardo but he preferred to be called Leo, he was 17, and his parents named him and his three brothers after the Ninja Turtles. “Well, my name is Dr. Ashton Irwin and I am the head of this department here. I’m 35, which is very old for you youngsters but I’m practically a toddler in the medical world. My fun fact is that I play the drums and I was actually in a band in high school.” Vanessa definitely didn’t expect that from him but it really added a new side to him and she wanted to learn more about him. He was a hot doctor that loved everyone and could play the drums. And he had a girlfriend. Vanessa needed to burn that into her brain so she never forgot; if she never forgot then she would stop noticing all the cute and hot things about him and she could get over him. He had a girlfriend he loved and she was not about to be a homewrecker. She huffed and looked back at the supplies in front of her. She needs to focus on this and not on her attractive and unavailable boss.

“So,” Vanessa began, bringing the attention to her, “today we will be making some physical representation of something we are recovering from, right Dr. Irwin, I mean Ashton?”

Ashton smiled and nodded, looking everyone over. “Right, so make something about what you’re recovering from. It can be anything at all but I suggest for you guys to make it about why you’re here. It could really benefit you guys and aid your recovery. Let Vanessa or I know if you need scissors or have questions. At the end we will share what we have but only what you’re comfortable sharing.”

Vanessa sat and watch the other four people quickly begin their work. She still had no idea what to do. She didn’t have the best childhood but she also didn’t have the worst so she didn’t feel like she needed to recover from that. She was always a smart kid and sometimes she was made fun of but she had gotten over that. She did have a friend all throughout high school and college that wasn’t amazing. She did still have problems because of it so maybe that would work. She grabbed a pencil and began sketching out her drawing.

   While everyone was working on their piece, there was some conversation floating around the table. Vanessa learned that Damian was going to go back to school when he was out of the program so he could become a school counselor. He wanted to help teens because when he was young, he didn’t have the best support system. She also learned that Leo and Nicole had been next-door neighbors since they were 10 and have been best friends ever since. They had a goal to be either out of the program or allowed to go out so they can go to prom together. She had so much hope for the three and she really wished them the best of luck so they can achieve their goals and she was going to do her job and help them reach their goals. That’s why she wanted to become a psychiatrist in the first place; she wanted to help people.

“Alright, we are almost out of time so let’s go around and share before you guys have to go. Leo, are you willing to start?” Ashton announced to the table, directing the last part to Leo.

The young boy nodded and held up his painting. There on the paper, he had made a painting of a scale. “I really don’t want to share a lot. I have to share in group already and I’m not ready for this now.”

“Leo, don’t worry. This is a good step and I hope that someday you’ll be able to share more with us but great job.” Vanessa smiled and reached over the table to gently rest her hand on his. The corner of his lips twitched upwards into a grateful smile as he squeezed Vanessa’s hand to say thank you.

Nicole took this as her cue to go next. She sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. “I wrote a story about a girl who grew up with an alcoholic father who now struggles with depression and PTSD because of it.” She took a deep breath, Leo’s hand coming to rest on her shoulder. “I’m the girl.”

“Thank you for sharing Nicole,” Ashton whispered before turning to Damian.

“Well, I have struggled with depression since I was 13 and it recently continued to get worse and because of my history, I thought it was best if I checked myself in. So I drew what’s supposed to be me surrounded by this dark cloud but there’s one small circle of yellow that represents my hope for myself.” Damian explained, pointing to the different parts of his drawing.

“That great Damian. I’m really glad you knew yourself well enough to know it was time to get help. I drew myself as the Giving Tree.” Vanessa began, holding up her drawing for the table to see. “Which is a story about this tree that gave all of her different parts to this boy to make him happy. I had a friendship not too long ago where I felt like the tree. I tore myself down and gave myself away so she could be happy. It really affected my self-esteem and the way I carried myself. So I’m still trying to work on it and move on.”

Ashton’s hand came to rest on Vanessa’s knee, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Thank you for sharing.” Ashton cleared his throat and looked around him. “I wrote a poem. I have been struggling with depression and self-image for a very long time. So, here we go.

Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,

Why you never see bright colors on my back,

And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.

Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on.

Smile,

Though your heart is achin'

Smile,

Even though it's breakin'

When there are are clouds in the sky

You'll get by...

If you smile

Through your fear and sorrow

Smile,

And maybe tomorrow

You'll see the sun come shinin' through,

For you...

Light up your face with gladness

Hide, every trace of sadness

Although a tear

may be ever so near

That's the time, You must keep on tryin'

Smile, what's the use of cryin'

You'll find that life is still worth while

If you just smile.

Accept yourself, accept the pain & struggle of change.

for you are beautiful and ever blossoming into someone greater tomorrow.

You choose to accept everyone for what they are and who they are because they’re ever changing as well.

Just like you.

Tomorrow we will all be someone new

A desolate sunset shines upon letting go of pain and anguish.

A sunset is natures face of forgiveness, for tomorrow will be new,

And so will you.”

Vanessa looked at Ashton with wide eyes. That was possibly the most beautiful thing she ever heard and Ashton wrote it in less than an hour. There was a ton of heart and emotion in the poem and she didn’t know he had so much pain and difficulty that he was working through. She wanted to hug him and never let him go; she wanted to keep him safe and happy. It wasn’t fair that he had so much hurt and his girlfriend was cheating on him. It just wasn’t fair. “Thank you guys for sharing and listening to me share. Our time here is up and Vanessa and I will try to come see you all later today.” Ashton waved to the three as they stood and walked off to their next activity. Ashton folded up his poem and shoved it into his pocket, standing as well. When Vanessa saw him stand, she quickly jumped to her feet and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a hug. Ashton stood frozen for a moment before he returned the hug, pulling her closer. “What is this for?”

Vanessa rested her head on his chest and sighed. “I knew you made this program because of your own history with mental health, I just didn’t know everything. I still don’t but what you wrote was beautiful. And hugs always make me feel better, so I thought maybe you’d like one.” She then remembered that he was her boss and she quickly tugged away from him. “I’m sorry that wasn’t very professional of me. I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable or if it was wrong. I just wanted to help.”

Ashton chuckled and pulled her back to his chest, his head resting on top of hers. “Don’t worry. I appreciate it.” He closed his eyes, allowing himself to get lost in the feeling of her arms wrapped around him and her head on his chest. He felt warm. He felt loved and comforted and he needed it. While he was on the path to recovery and he was an amazing psychologist, that didn’t mean he had everything figured out. He still had bad days when his depression was worse than ever and it hurt. But this right here, a hug from someone he wished to know and grow closer to, brought some light into the darkness. Reluctantly, Ashton slowly pulled away from Vanessa, his smile growing larger when he saw the blush on her cheeks. “Why don’t we get some lunch and then we can get back to work?”

Vanessa nodded and followed him out of the room, heading to the cafeteria. Her heart pounded loudly in her chest as she tried to process what happened today. She found out that her boss has a girlfriend that is cheating on him, watched this girl kiss him, share one of her deepest secrets and problems with him, and learned that he struggles too. And worst of all, she thinks she’s beginning to fall in love with him. Shit.

Tags:

@lustingfor5sos @mycollectionofnuts @ohhmuke @softboycal @norawashere @who-do-you-love-5sos @aftermidnightclifford @astrosashton @katiaw2 @littlesinnersins @bbyboyycal @rosecoloredash @emilyxvalentyne @valentinelrh​ @madbomb​ @loti18​ @ixcantxdecidexwhosxmyxfave​

[fastsalad]

Shear Madness highlights

I just saw an improv show called Shear Madness and guys. This is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. I’m going to type out some of my favorite moments from the show while it’s still fresh in my mind.

First, let me introduce the characters.

Tony owns a hair salon, and Barbra works for the hair salon. They are disaster gay and bi respectively and share one collective brain cell.

Eddie is my least favorite character, he’s a businessman who’s just overall kind of an eh person.

Mrs. Shubert is an old rich lady with a butler etc.

Nick and Mikey are cops. Mikey also has one brain cell and him and Nick have some good buddy moments.

Ok, now onto the highlights.

Before the show formally started, the characters walked out one by one. Tony spent the whole time doing Mikey’s hair (and probably flirting with him) and dancing to songs like the YMCA with Barbara.

Right after Mikey ran from the room looking slightly afraid, Tony asked who was going next, and Nick and Eddie both pointed at each other and went, “He is.”

Nick first came in as a customer (as did Mikey, I forgot to mention that before.) and he was wearing a Walgreens shirt, so Tony went, “Oh, do you work at the Walgreens?” And I found that funny, I don’t know why.

Tony ‘shaved’ Nick’s face, and by that I mean he put literally ALL OF THE SHAVING CREAM ONTO HIS HAND AND SLAPPED IT ONTO NICKS FACE.

When Mrs. Schubert first came in she told them she needed her hair done and proceeded to show them and Tony said, “Oh my god you look like Donald Trump.”

“I auditioned for Naked and Afraid. Naked, of course. And you know what they said? We’re afraid.”

The first act just got more and more chaotic until it was revealed that the lady upstairs (Isabel) had been murdered and the cops burst in and there was a complete blackout.

Nick messed up Mrs. Schubert’s name many times. The one I remember was ‘Mrs. Shoebox.’

They were all questioned individually. First Tony, then Eddie, then Barbara, the Mrs. Schubert.

“What do you want?!?” “I want you!” (Leans against the wall) “Oh go ahead.” -Tony, being questioned.

“Do you think [Barbara and Isabel] were in some sort of... Lebanese relationship???” -Nick

Everyone who was not being questioned was in the supply closet, so when Nick got fed up with questioning Tony he yelled, “GET BACK IN THE CLOSET!” And they both just stood there pointing at each other and nodding and Nick broke character and started laughing.

Nick: “Did you hear any of their conversations in there?” Mikey: “No! Mrs. Schubert keeps talking in my ear! ‘Yakity yakity yakity.’” (Mikey opens the closet door) Mrs. Schubert: “Yakity takity yakity...”

Tony had two cats named Bill and Hilary.

“I went upstairs and the room was filled with smoke! I couldn’t see Hilary so I went, Hilary! Run! And she said, never again.”

“Who is Pookie Schubert?” “That’s the name I use when I Twitter!” “...I think what you do is tweet.” “And I think what you do is terrific!

Eddie said that he drove a red buggy or something and Mikey punches Nick in the arm and yelled PUNCHBUGGY NO PUNCH BACK and ran out of the room.

Nick: “Are you going to Bermuda with him?” Mrs. Schubert: “GOD no! I wouldn’t go anywhere with someone who drives a red buggy.”

Eddie insulted Mrs. Schubert by calling her an antique and she held up her purse like a baseball bat and charged at him.

Tony: “She’s gone out with half the guys in DC!” Barbara: “And he’s gone out with the other half!”

Nick: (reaches an important point in the argument) “Mikey, you got all that down?” Mikey: “Yeah he’s gone out with half the guys in DC.”

Nick and Mikey did a handshake at one point.

Mikey was just really a really awesome and adorable dumbass overall.

There were at least two “That’s what she said” jokes.

The audience participated in part of the investigation and when Nick revealed us to the four suspects they all made these exaggerated faces of disgust.

Barbara couldn’t remember what happened up to the murder for a while, and when she did she had some STELLAR acting.

A LOT of people in the audience thought Mikey did it and Nick had to kind of descretely tell them that he wasn’t an option.

Tony was voted as the guilty one (I voted for Eddie) and he did an AMAZING JOB snapping and trying to stab Barbara with the scissors, revealing himself as the murderer.

Nick: “MIKEY! Watch the door.” (Mikey stares at the door) Nick: “From the outside.”

In the sort of epilogue Nick said something like, “You guys voted for Tony this time, but tomorrow night it could be Barbara! (Cue Barbara doing a weird pose with the scissors/murder weapon) or Eddie! (Cue Eddie doing a weird pose with the scissors/murder weapon) or even Mrs. Schubert! (Cue Mrs. Schubert doing the weirdest of the poses with the scissors/murder weapon.

That’s all I remember right now but if anything else comes to mind I’ll reblog this with that.

[barabarano-buggy]

4 and 18 for the muse ask :)

4. If you could tell your muse one thing, what would you tell them?

// that i love him and i’m proud of him. and i’d probably thank him for everything he’s taught me… and then i’d like to get drunk with him ♥ i feel like his mother or something AHAHA

18. What aspect of your muse’s personality is most important to you? What aspect of your muse’s personality do you think is most important to them? Is it the same? Why or why not?

// important is an interesting way of wording it… in a world full of physically strong and big name pirates, Buggy somehow finds his own strength and i think that’s important. something that comes up for me a lot is “Buggy is so weak”, but i look at all of the followers he has and how much power comes with numbers and being able to maneuver all these obstacles to still be considered able to participate way at the top. a lot of people view Buggy as a “weak” character- and yes, he isn’t physically strong. he hates fighting/conflict. it terrifies him- he just wants to be respected and finding that is really difficult as a clown. so he does what clowns do best- he does it anyway and fucks it up, but for some reason it keeps working out lolso i think its important that he redefines what “power” really means in the OP universe. i just wish people were more open minded about the concept instead of just seeing him as a joke… and i’m certain he feels the same.

as for what Buggy thinks is important about himself? i’m sure he thinks his very existence is important xD he’s very “flashy” and grabs people’s attention- but this is on purpose and very important to him. he wants people to notice him and respect him. he wants to be involved in what’s happening with the world in a bigger way than people seem to want to let him, so his “flashiness” is a way of him demanding that from people. now he’s finally in a position where people are paying attention. they always payed attention in a different way because its hard to ignore someone so colourful, loud and obnoxious XD but now they’re seeing more and even though he’s having to think on his feet a lot i think the fact that he no longer needs to fight for the attention is important to him.

these are different things… i think because he’s been fighting for attention and trying to get people to respect him his whole life that he’s kind of overlooked the fact that he is actually powerful and intelligent, just in a different way. you know.. people will tease and say things enough that they really get to you, right? you start believing them. i don’t think he really sees himself the way i see him, but i’m hoping with time he will learn that because other people treat him like a clown doesn’t mean he actually is one.

[zonamievents]

ZoNami Analysis: The Orange Island Arc and First Impressions!

Hello everyone! Welcome to my new series of posts, where I discuss every Zoro and Nami moment to have ever occurred in the entire series of One Piece. Any scene can merely be friendly, but perhaps we can uncover a hint of something more between them as we go through it all? Let’s find out on this journey together!

Also, I am aware that koukihime has done a similar series on her website, zoroxnami.weebly.com. However, I wanted to perform my own analysis of Zoro and Nami’s relationship, so please bear with me if there are any accidental similarities. Thanks!

Today’s topic is how this ENTIRE arc solidifies Zoro and Nami’s relationship moving forward. First impressions are important, and though Oda-sensei likes to play with how we preceive someone vs how they really impact the story in later arcs, the simplicity of the beginning of the series tells us a lot about how these two are meant to be critical players in the Mugiwara crew, and in each other’s lives.

Picking up from where we left off, Zoro has just stepped in to save Nami’s life from Buggy’s crew! Nami is in great disbelief to find that an infamous pirate hunter like Roronoa Zoro is actually the other half of Luffy’s pirate crew.

As she stands there mistified, Buggy questions if Zoro has suddenly appeared to take his head. Though Zoro tells him that isn’t the case, Buggy instigates a fight and in a matter of seconds, it seems as though the pirate captain was taken down instantaneously. Disappointed and confused, Luffy, Zoro and Nami can’t understand why his crew starts laughing after their boss’ defeat, only for Zoro to learn that not only did he underestimate Buggy, but…

Buggy also has a Devil’s Fruit that allows his body to separate at will.

Luffy, Zoro and Nami know they need to escape, but the situation looks rather grim. However, leave it to Zoro - who now has a stab wound in his left side - to flip an entire canon over and aim it at the Buggy pirates!

After the canon shoots, it is Zoro AGAIN with his inhuman strength lifting the cage that Luffy’s stuck in and trying to carry him down off of a rooftop and onto the ground! Nami is just in awe as she follows them, and though she apparently knows the name ‘Zoro’, it seems she is unaware of just how powerful he truly is.

Nami starts to lose her wonderment when Luffy later picks a fight with ShuShu the dog. But she still brings Luffy the key to the cage so he can get himself free. Defeated for the moment, Zoro sleeps off his injury while Luffy gets himself into even more trouble! Zoro is woken up when Buggy fires another one of his Buggy Balls at the building, and somehow survives the impact so he can join the fight once again!

As the story progresses and the two crews face off - with Nami finally agreeing to ‘cooperate’ with the Straw Hats - Buggy faces off against Luffy, and Cabaji challenges Zoro. At one point in their battle, Cabaji intentionally aims for Zoro’s wound from earlier, and Nami calls him out for such a cheap trick.

And she calls him out on it again, but the third time Cabaji tries to attack his wound, Zoro not only blocks him, he decides to make that particular injury seem a little less interesting…

...by cutting himself! It disturbs even Luffy that he does this, but the tactic works and Cabaji is now focused on the overall fight rather than targeting Zoro’s obvious weakness. Of course, this only makes Nami worry about him more.

Nami leaves the scene shortly after that to go and get the map of the Grand Line that was most likely lost in the explosion. She sneaks off and promises to join up with Luffy and Zoro again if they manage to survive. However, the fight ends up being so engaging that she watches it from the distance before achieving her goal!

After avoiding an enraged Buggy when she steals his treasure - and after Luffy’s inevitable victory against Buggy - Nami groups up with Luffy and the sleeping Zoro and as he wakes up, Zoro says he doesn’t think he can walk. To which Nami replies…

And that’s the major highlight, or theme, of this arc: Luffy and Zoro are meant to show off how powerful they are together, and just how otherworldly their strength can be. Even though this is a Zoro and Nami-centric post, I just want to point out that everything mentioned above happens in order and nothing plot-centric is skipped over. A great deal of Nami’s impression of this crew revolves around her reactions to Zoro’s heroism and just how brutal he can.

But what does this mean for ZoNa?

Why summarize this entire arc and say that it’s worthy of more love from the ZoNa community?

What does the Orange Town story really highlight for us ZoNa fans!?

It shows us that this is where Nami realizes how integral Zoro is to not only the crew, but her survival too. It isn’t meant to impress us as the reader because we’ve already met Zoro - this entire meeting is meant to wow Nami into feeling safe with them.

Before she became a Straw Hat, Nami traveled the seas alone. Why bother getting any sort of outsider involved in her village’s problems? Her willingness to join the crew wasn’t simply because of her dream, but it was because she knew that she needed them to stay alive if it meant she ever encountered someone like Buggy again. Remember, Nami explicitly states in this arc that she thought Devil’s Fruits were nothing more than a myth that pirates tell themselves. For her to see both Buggy and Luffy in action in the East Blue - which she knows is statistically the weakest of all four - means that Nami needs some strong partners in crime if she plans to finish her mission of saving Cocoyashi.

Given her methodical nature, it’s only logical to tag along with such irrefutably strong men to guarantee success. And that’s the perfect way to highlight yet another ‘opposites attract’ aspect of the ZoNa relationship!

The Left Brain vs The Right Brain.

It’s a concept most of us are familiar with: each half of your brain specializes in a specific area of your personality. If you’re more instinctive than strategic, you’re Right Brain is probably your dominate half. If you prefer to plan out your day rather than letting events unfold as they will, than you’re a Left Brain thinker. At first glance, some would call Nami emotional and spastic, but us fans of the character can agree that she is one of the most intelligent and well thought out members of the Straw Hat crew.

Zoro, on the other hand, is a reactionary character. Where Nami would try to concoct a solution, Zoro would prefer to make his own based off of what he feels is best. Though a stone-cold type of character, even his choices in battle come from training that taught him how to hone his instincts in order to guide his body to dodge attacks and execute strikes successfully.

Now, why does this matter?

Because neither one of them is solidly using only one side of their brain.

Together, Zoro and Nami create a proper middle ground - known as the Wise Mind in the example image above - that create a viability for each other. Where one lacks, the other exceeds expectations. Both are impressive characters, but what we get from this arc is the root of Zoro and Nami that truly show the significance they bring out in one another based off of their mere functionality.

In the very first post of this series, I talked about how Nami was the navigator and Zoro works as a protector; this first introduction they have clearly provides the foundation for Nami’s perception of Zoro as the person she ends up relying on the most from here on out. Essentially, their relationship works itself into a very popular theme: the Beauty and the Beast.

If you look at Belle from the Disney version of the tale, she is smart, well-read and cunning. She knows when it’s time to run away and when she needs to step up to the plate, to risk her life for either her father or for the Beast himself. She yearns to have more than the life she leads and it causes her to seek adventures beyond herself. Though her wits can get her into trouble sometimes - and even put her at odds with the Beast - she manages to to prove herself as a worthy partner to stand next to the Beast.

On the other hand, we can look at the Beast himself. He’s very stern, off-putting at times, despite the kind-hearted individual inside. Though others may comment on his brash personality, the Beast stays true to himself but starts to warm up to the idea of having Belle around. The Beast even saves Belle more than once and her respect for him grows when she sees how selfless he can truly be. He isn’t the easiest characters to love in his own story, despite being a clear protagonist. He always has his own goal in the back of his mind and thinks about how it involves the lives of those around him. He’s also the first to tell you he isn’t ‘a fool’.

There is a fantastic, oldie but goodie fanfic written by SF Kitty called “Beauty and the Beast: One Piece Style” from 2006 that shows how fans of ZoNa have picked up on the notion that there are evident ties to this Disney couple, and for good reason! It’s a popular concept that has worked out for many other fictional couples, because each couple acts as the other half to their partner - like the Left Brain meeting the Right Brain to make a Wise Minded couple! And though this arc is summarized simply in this post, I believe that the intention of this story allowed for Zoro to show off his beastly attributes to a rather shell-shocked Nami, just like the Beast does when he saves Belle from the wolves in the Disney adaption of the tale.

Mind you, Nami isn’t as smooth as Belle when she comes back to help Zoro and Luffy, but the similarity exists and that’s good enough for me! 

[aion-rsa]

10 PS4 Games to Play Instead of the Still Broken Cyberpunk 2077

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

Cyberpunk 2077 is finally back on the PlayStation Store, but the game comes with this warning that makes it clear that the PS4 version of the controversial title is still surprisingly broken:

“IMPORTANT NOTICE: Users continue to experience performance issues with this game. Purchase for use on PS4 systems is not recommended. For the best Cyberpunk experience on PlayStation, play on PS4 Pro and PS5 systems.”

It’s not often you see a digital store tell you to not purchase a version of a game made for one of the best-selling video game consoles ever, but that update is really just the latest chapter in what has proven to be the shockingly strange Cyberpunk 2077 story so far. While you could wait for CD Project Red to update the PS4 version of Cyberpunk 2077 enough to finally make it playable on that platform, it could be quite some time before that actually happens. Instead, consider playing one of these PS4 games that each offer something that will help you forget about Cyberpunk 2077 (if only for a little while).

Deus Ex: Mankind Divided

Deus Ex: Mankind Divided isn’t quite as good as Human Revolution or the original Deus Ex, but if Cyberpunk 2077 left you dreaming about this franchise, you should know that Mankind Divided is the most accessible modern Deus Ex title available on PS4. 

What Mankind Divided (mostly) gets right is the feeling that you’re able to solve any scenario pretty much however you’d like. While your choices sometimes come down to the old “stealth, charisma, action” decision paths, Mankind Divided excels at encouraging you to find unique solutions to complex problems. It then rewards you with the feeling that you may have solved that problem in a way that nobody else quite has (even if that obviously isn’t always true). 

Even better, Mankind Divided doesn’t push too hard for an open-world setting it can’t quite handle, which means that it arguably does a better job than Cyberpunk at showcasing its stylish settings filled with little world-building and storytelling moments. 

Fallout: New Vegas

Technically, it’s easier to play Fallout 4 on PS4 than Fallout: New Vegas, but considering that Fallout 4 shares some issues with Cyberpunk in terms of ideas that don’t quite land, it might be worth a month’s subscription to PS Now just to play this gem. 

After all, Cyberpunk 2077’s best feature is the quality of its side stories and missions, which also happens to be one of the things that Fallout: New Vegas excels at. The difference is that New Vegas’ side missions are arguably better and often help expand New Vegas’ faction-driven world in a way that Cyberpunk seemingly strives for but rarely achieves. 

Yes, New Vegas is an incredibly buggy game, but it’s also an example of how video game bugs are easier to forgive when they’re acquired in the service of crafting something quite special. 

The Outer Worlds

The Outer Worlds is a (nearly) perfect modern RPG for fans of developer Obsidian’s style or even those looking for a tribute to the best RPGs from Bethesda, BioWare, and other legendary studios. 

The Outer Worlds offers a more methodical RPG experience than what you’ll find in Cyberpunk 2077, but if you love great dialog, interesting character-building options, and memorable companions/side characters, then this is absolutely one of the best sci-fi role-playing experiences of the last console generation. 

The Outer Worlds isn’t even an especially long game (unless you’re really trying to see and do everything), so you could even pair it with one of the other titles on this list. 

Ghostrunner

While Ghostrunner’s October 2020 release date and “cyberpunk” style caused some to initially dismiss it as an indie cash-in on the Cyberpunk 2077 hype, this game is actually closer to a more action-oriented take on Mirror’s Edge. 

Actually, Ghostrunner is one of the most fast-paced and creative action games in recent memory. It rarely offers you a moment to slow down, and the skill required to overcome its most devious roadblocks invokes that “zen” state you only get from certain games.

Ghostrunner is a sneakily good Cyberpunk 2077 alternative for those who loved that game’s genre trappings and are on board with this underrated game’s pace and style.

Invisible, Inc. 

Truth be told, one of these spots really should go to one of the modern entries in the Shadowrun series. Since those games aren’t available for PS4, though, then let’s take a slight detour into something a little different. 

As a turn-based stealth strategy game, Invisible Inc. doesn’t share a lot of gameplay DNA with Cyberpunk 2077. What the two do have in common, though, are fascinating sci-fi worlds run by corporations and the operatives who oppose (and assist) them. 

If you enjoy tactical gameplay at all and want something with Cyberpunk 2077-esque style, then Invisible Inc. could just be the gem you’ve been looking for. 

Cloudpunk

Here’s another smaller game that got mixed up in the Cyberpunk 2077 hype despite offering a completely different experience.

You won’t find a lot of Cyberpunk 2077-style action in this game about delivering packages, but in terms of world design and lore, I’d honestly put Cloudpunk above CD Projekt Red’s controversial epic. Cloudpunk may not benefit from a fraction of that game’s budget, but its Blade Runner-like world is so easy to lose yourself in. 

Cloudpunk is just one of the best ways to spend a little time in a sci-fi dystopia. 

Watch Dogs: Legion

Watch Dogs: Legion generated a little buzz when it was first revealed, but the talk around this title died out a bit too soon.

Watch Dogs: Legion’s “play as any NPC” gameplay gimmick isn’t quite as deep as it maybe could have been, but it ultimately serves to enhance what is otherwise a very good open-world game that still features many of the best qualities that defined its also underrated predecessor.

While not a 1:1 replacement for Cyberpunk 2077 by any means, I’d still argue that this is one of the best ways to explore a large and hostile sci-fi environment while enjoying some clever gameplay.

Prey

I freely admit that I was initially somewhat disappointed by Prey. At the time it was released, I just felt like the game didn’t quite do enough to improve the games that clearly inspired it.  

Some of my reservations about the game remain, but what I can tell you is that Prey features one of the best “atmospheres” I’ve seen in a video game in the last 15 or 20 years. Prey’s world falls somewhere between Robocop and a really good sci-fi horror movie. It manages to keep you wanting more of its corporate dystopia setting despite regularly giving you reasons to worry about what’s behind the next corner.

Even better, Prey’s gameplay features enough of that Deus Ex/BioShock style to occasionally offer Cyberpunk 2077 kind of moments.  

Dishonored 2

I don’t think it’s possible to sing the praises of the Dishonored series enough. That being the case, let me use this time as an excuse to remind you that you really should play Dishonored 2: one of the most underrated games of the last console generation. 

Cyberpunk 2077 occasionally does a very good job of offering multiple solutions to complex problems, but even at its best, it just can’t match what Dishonored 2 achieves in that arena. Not since the glory days of the Thief franchise have I played a game that does such a great job of using level design to sell a world while encouraging players to constantly explore new solutions.

Honestly, you should play Dishonored 2 even if you couldn’t care less about Cyberpunk 2077. 

The Witcher 3

Maybe it’s because it’s the game that arguably contributed more to the Cyberpunk 2077 hype than anything else, but I feel like there’s a sense of hesitation when it comes to recommending The Witcher 3 as a kind of Cyberpunk 2077 alternative. Granted, it’s a different game in many respects, but I feel that some of that hesitation is based on the currently low public opinion of developer CD Projeckt Red.

However, it’s fairly easy to separate the two games and elevate The Witcher 3 with one hand while dismissing at least the PS4 version of Cyberpunk 2077 with the other. The Witcher 2 proved that CD Projekt Red was one of the most exciting studios in gaming, but nothing could have prepared anyone for the ways that The Witcher 3 addressed nearly all of that game’s issues while advancing the art of video game storytelling and world-building. 

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Maybe it will make you just a little sadder than it used to, but The Witcher 3 is obviously still a truly great game. 

The post 10 PS4 Games to Play Instead of the Still Broken Cyberpunk 2077 appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[toddlazarski]

Last Suppers

Shepherd Express

“Please let me go ‘round again.”

— John Prine

I thought the apocalypse would be more exciting. Some kind of heaven-sent fireball, a mushroom cloud of malaise, Mad Max dune buggies. In this far off light I’d always pictured myself bearded, barricaded, adroitly philosophical, suddenly quite adept at swinging a sort of spiked bat or other homemade zombie stopper. Instead, so far, some five weeks in, nobody I know has gotten sick. Nobody in my orbit has died. Even being accosted by our neighborhood Jehovah’s Witness on the street, being told of end times and other corporeal human collapses I couldn’t stand or fully hear—being as they were, uttered by a man six feet away, while a two-year-old pent-up from quarantine perched on my shoulders and periodically bonked my head urging movement—took place from a mindful, strangely respectable social distance. 

Mostly these days just find me as an iPhone-glued glut of dissociated dread. A musty sack of torpor filling out ironically-named Champion jogging pants and a Totino’s-stained hoodie crowned by a hastily shaved head. What I’m currently reminded of, for some reason, from somewhere deep within the lizard brain that was weaned on world-end movies, is Deep Impact, and the way it all ends for Tea Leoni’s character: in front of a beloved beachhouse, with brave acceptance, facing truth and demise in the form of an imminent asteroid death, with her—father, maybe? (This recall may be way off, as I only saw the movie once, maybe 20 years ago, but I have a current therapist-mandated pause from internet research as the slightest twitch toward dot com-ing leads inevitably, instantly to a Milla Jovovich in Fifth Element-like doom scroll of terror). Regardless, this is how I view my resignation when being generous: a soft, somber, single tear strong-willed nod and jutted-chin acquiescence. I’ve had my restaurant meals, if they never come again. I’ve had too many, at too many bars. I’ve lived. So, here I am, at the freezer again, my own beloved beachhouse, mustering strength, wondering how much Ben and Jerry’s will pass before life maybe resembles normal again, or else until I see St. Pete, or St. Paul, or whichever is the one at the gates. Measuring the days till Quetzalcoatl in pints of Chunky Monkey. Wondering if I’ll ever again eat Cherry Garcia as a little reward, for a jog and some push ups maybe, instead of a desperate substitute for therapy, lobotomy. My biggest preoccupation is really Instacart deliveries, and the thought of them, the threat of them, where we let the bags sit on the porch like sentinels with tales from the front lines, or like badges of middle class virus-avoidance privilege. We hope the wind cleans off the Corona, I suppose, and then we let the same bags sit inside, eyeing our wares cautiously, suspiciously by the door, weighing the three articles advising cleansing groceries is unnecessary versus the one—always from Medium—that states everything inside a grocery store will likely give you and your grandmother the plague. Then, between the subsequent wiping—of course—and the beginning to plan six days out for the next Instacart delivery, and then the moisturizing of hands out of necessity from washing hands far too much, there has been such a background din of quiet second-coming contemplation. With little to do but wipe the door handle again, with the closest social contact being yet another episode of Cheers, there’s been too much time to think on all this, on all that went, all that was snuffed by a brutal harsh Monday morning reminder—all our kicks, our joys, our dinner plans and drink diversions, all that was maybe never really deserved in the first place.

For one or another—or none at all—reason that I choose to not consider too closely, the last normal weekend in contemporary American existence was a big one. A Friday night trip to Enlightened Brewing to check out Derek Pritzl and the Gamble was a promising prospect, sure. They had recently introduced me to, made me fall deeply in love with, play over and over again, John Prine’s “Speed of the Sound of Loneliness.” Still, as things were, it was largely run-of-the-mill in those distant days of social possibility. Just line up one of a few willing babysitters, jot on the calendar absent-mindedly, leave it peppered, like always, with the growing-old adult notion of if I feel like it. The self-importance of a modern American. The expectation, the world owing me it’s pearls and it’s oysters and it’s artisanal double India Pale Ales, for some reason. There for taking, when we wished. It’s like we were all Mad Men men, coming home from work where you expect your dinner to be waiting, your children cleaned and polite. You did a little bit of work and now you are owed something, the other half of your existence, calm and orderly and “here are your slippers, dear.” Now there is no choosing or taking or rewarding yourself with a night out, or rewarding yourself with a night in. It’s simply like our parents have given us an indefinite timeout, with more whiskey, yes, but also more, much more, morbidity. And also our parents are not coming to our room, eventually, to tell us it will all be ok. Rather, now, they might come, and stand on the sidewalk, while we stand on the front porch awkwardly, not knowing what to do with our hands, with no Easter hugs even considered, and mom might leave sugar cookies in a bag on the sidewalk, as if we were in prison, and she was the jailer that had to slide our sustenance gruel through a slot in the door. Only her said bag came with a real wonder: do we have to disinfect that now? I ran into a friend at Enlightened, then another, then a friend of a friend, and then a work friend—hugs for all the normal tangly tendrils of an adequate social life, amplified by guitars and rollicking songs of regret and craft suds and jocular end-of-week revelry. The band was twangy and driving and jostly, and I wanted it to be louder. Actually my spoiled fragile ego knew I deserved it to be louder. Meanwhile I talked importantly about basketball and somebody told me about their trip to New Orleans. “I’ll be there in a month,” I said. Like an ignoramus, like tempting fate, like I was one of the kids on the playground in Sarah Connor’s nuclear apocalypse nightmare in Terminator 2. There was no Purell in sight, in mind. 

Later, at the Newport, the bartender handed me a beer list, and I didn’t even note that, or contemplate my mortality on the fact, he wasn’t wearing latex gloves. I leaned close, doing the thing you have to do at crowded bars where you wedge between two seated patrons, brush one or both, amplify your voice to the hunched-forward Sam Malone, spittle and open mouths and casual “excuse me, I’m sorry, man” contact with strangers not an issue or thought, let alone transgression against the whole of humanity’s existence. The bummer about the NBA that night was that the Bucks were losing to the Lakers. The saddest part about John Prine was the line: “How can a love that'll last forever, get left so far behind?” What would any of us say, had we knowl—in 5 days the entirety of the NBA machinery would be suddenly halted, a broom handle stuck in the grinding gears? That I would have no chance at seeing live music again, for the foreseeable future? And that, weeks later, due to the same crippling circumstances, John Prine would be dead?  

The next night, somehow, as if acting on some last-chance latent level, I found myself barreling south for a Saturday night in Chicago. I rode a crowded Amtrak. I held the steel handle up the steps, followed along close in line, plopped unworriedly right on the worn blue cloth seat, I ordered a Lyft, I closed a packed bar with out-of-town big-city tenacity. Old friends shared birthday cake in a corner. I flushed a toilet, maybe didn’t wash my hands for a full 20 seconds, poked at the jukebox, clinked glasses, performed once-normal finger and hand functions that would now cause me to douse both extremities to the elbow in alcohol and ask for a light. My buddy and I kept drinking like we were Goodfellas, bound shortly for a stint in the can, which, in hindsight, we sort of were. Then we ordered another Lyft back to his place, like signing the tab on the last real Saturday night. Sunday was disarmingly sunny, soft, pleasant, the kind of warm early spring sliver that catches you off balance, leaves you without the right clothes or your sunglasses. So we sat inside, at the bar at a place called the Moonlighter, where we nursed hangovers with micheladas and shared fiery chicken wings and sloppily severed a grease-dripping American-cheesed burger and shoved it down our gaping gullets and licked fingers and laughed at the bartender’s Nascar sweatshirt, bitched about his lassitude. It was still a day where you could like a bartender or not like a bartender, and you didn’t have to wonder if all bartenders had simply vanished, poof, gone on the wind, Leftovers-style. You could do your drinking business and move on to the next one. Which we did, literally, deciding on pizza and homebrews at a spot called Bungalow that takes—that took—itself probably a bit too seriously. We’ve often fallen into this habit of double lunch-ing, not so much because we are slobs, fat and greedy and gluttonous. And not as some kind of intuitive acknowledgment that we were approaching end times. It also wasn’t just a love of time together, collapsing the 100 miles that separates our lives with a collective unspoken vow of ceaseless Epicureanism. Well, maybe exactly because of all those reasons. Either way we ate, glad they take, took, themselves so seriously with each bite, sip. And I got a pie to go, tucking it under my arm through Union Station, cradling the box like a toddler’s favorite stuffed dinosaur during my ride home nap, a last pepperoni and sausaged vestige from the world of living, togetherness, an experience slice from before we began to view each other as potentially poisonous flowers.        

My final restaurant meal was the day after, at Copper Kitchen, my neighborhood greasy spoon of fluffy omelets and watery coffee that you can never get half down before a refill magically appears tableside. A welcoming diner with video poker, and some staff that still eye me a bit questioningly because I’ve only been coming here for two years, and not 30, like most patrons always around me. By now though, with some work, our regular waitress is beginning to know the score, my daughter and I having seemingly earned the corner booth I always steer her toward. I grab the high chair myself, never need a menu, she orders her own “Mickey Mouse pancakes, please” in an impossibly tiny voice. In many ways, actually, it feels small town-worn, lived-in, like a John Prine song. A surreal slowdown, a place with a cook with a “short order face.” A spot of warm plates and unjudging respite. “If I came home, would you let me in? Fry me some pork chops and forgive my sin?” Our daddy-daughter day this early March Monday was flowing in a far more friendly manner though: another successful trip to the Domes behind us, we had full-stomach cold afternoon warm bed naps ahead. I wanted to tell her some news I was suppressing too, having just briefly talked to my wife on the phone about her recent brief phone call with the doctor. The info was just beginning to gel and bacon-grease coagulate down around my ham and cheese omelet and double-buttered rye. “You’re going to have a sister,” I almost said. Instead I let her eat more bacon, I let the waitress squeeze her arm affectionately as she poured me yet more benign coffee that I would sip and sip until it was time to leave. I didn’t say anything. It wasn’t time yet. But maybe I missed the time. How could I have known, that now, weeks later, Copper Kitchen and restaurants like it, all restaurants, are in real danger of never fully opening again? How was I to know that soon there would be no business anywhere for good news?

[exilesofembermark]

Game Dev Update | Time to Test.

Shall we play?

We’re about to embark on our first closed test of the Exiles combat system, starring... you! That’s right, we’re firing up Test Flight, and if you signed up for closed testing (or on the site, “Beta”), then you will have a chance to be among the first guinea pigs for Exiles. The first batch of players will be small-- probably around 50-- then we’ll gradually open it up to more as we see how stable we are and start eradicating bugs.

We’ll be inviting people from our dedicated Exiles Discord community as well as some from the lists first. Then we’ll expand to some of the rest of the list randomly in batches. We won’t get to everyone in this little test. That said, if you haven’t signed up anywhere, go here and get on the list!

WHAT WE’RE TESTING

This is not a Beta. It’s a closed pre-alpha test of the Combat System and Arena Tiers (plus some power curve balance). 

It’s important to note that we won’t be testing the whole game. We’re just testing combat and the new Arena Tiers mechanics to get them feeling right and get feedback. 

The rest of the game is in various states of development and isn’t intended for testing-- BUT-- feel free to plunge the depths of FPO (for placement only) and buggy unfinish, but beware-- things won’t be as they seem and most of it will only sort of work. This is particularly true of PVE-- when you hit the World Map and start to click around, there will be some Quests-- there will be some fights, there will be what seems to be progression. But don’t get too excited about it, and don’t report bugs-- we decided to leave that stuff open so that you can at least take a look at where we’re going. As you know, we’ve been open about the state of things, so when you click anything other than your Character and Arena, you take your functionality lives into your own hands. 

Here’s the link to the test welcome forum post. 

So... what are Arena Tiers?

ARENA TIERS

The Arena Tier system is new to Exiles and the focal point of this test. When players participate in an Arena battle they are eligible to earn Renown. Renown represents a player’s skill. Players can gain or lose Renown either by winning or losing battles. Earning Renown unlocks new Arena Tiers which reward the player with new abilities to use, more powerful equipment, increased drop rates, a new environment to fight in, and eventually new monsters to fight in another system we’ll cover later called Monster Dive.  

In this build you are able to:

Gain Renown (30) from your victories and lose Renown (-26) should you suffer a defeat.

Increasing your Renown will progress you to higher Arena Tiers:

Arena Tier - Training Grounds - 1st try

Arena 1 - Wildewoods - 60+

Arena 2 - Askala - 150+

Arena 3 - Vanisir - 300+

Arena 4 - Siege - 600+

Arena 5 - Bog - 1,000+

Arena 6 - Cave - 1,400+

Arena 7 - Ruins - 1,800+

Arena 8 - Addrighar - 2,200+

Champions Arena - 2,600+

View your current Renown total. Indicated by the number to the right of the flag icon in the Arena Lobby:

Poor “MageGod” has zilch for Renown, but will be gaining it quickly.

Click an Ability slot, then “Equip” to replace your Abilities with others.

As you go up in Arena Tiers, new Abilities become available.

REFERENCE RESOURCES FOR COMBAT

The tutorial system at this point is pretty bare bones, and the wiki (many thanks to SecretOwl and the gang for starting one) is early, so we’ve put together a few one-sheeter reference guides for combat. I’ll post them both as images here, but grab the PDFs here if you want to have clear readable copies.The first is a legend for Battle. It outlines the various parts of the UI and some of the feedback that will pop in as you battle:

A key concept in the above is that of Generate/Consume. We’re experimenting with ways to get that across (currently it’s via circle or upside-down triangle, respectively). Will be interested in opinions on this...

The second is more of a definition list for rules. The various Abilities in the game will display and execute a number of effects that you’ll want to keep track of, so until the game itself teaches these concepts, here’s a handy reference guide:

WHAT ELSE TO CHECK OUT

As I mentioned, the only sanctioned areas of the game are Character and Arena. You enter the rest at your own risk. However, if I was going to recommend a stroll through anything else to see where we’re headed, it would be the following:

The Map - we’ve shared lots about this feature, and it is the gateway to PVE. The current state of PVE is that you can do some things, but there will be lots of bugs and you’ll get stuck. And it won’t make perfect sense narratively, so go easy. But the map is cool and its functionality is something we want to dive into. 

The Forge - it doesn’t work, so don’t click around too much. Don’t try to salvage yet -- this is a known issue and we are deploying a fix on it as we speak. You’ll be able to see the intent, but not to do what you will definitely want to do... yet. 

House (it says “Guild” in the nav) - this is a mockup, so you can choose a House and fool around with the concepts, but it’s not actually live. 

CHAT!

Yes, good Exiles, there is chat in the app, so bang on that feature if you’re in the closed test. It is basic functionality at this point (don’t expect DMs or history), and the Discord Channel is probably still the best bet for player-to-player comms, but click that little icon in the bottom left of the home screen and voila!

FIND FRIENDS & RIVALS TO FIGHT

If you’re in the test and not in the Discord Channel, let’s change that. If you are in the channel, then you’re all good for communicating with potential opponents (and you’ll need this type of communication to find people ready to fight, given the small-audience nature of this test). 

If you don’t find a live opponent when you hit “Battle” in the Arena hub, you’ll still find player characters to fight, but AI will be your foe. If you’re wanting to direct-challenge someone, you’ll want to use the Search function (the magnifying glass), and you’ll be able to find specific names or find foes by Arena Tier or Class. 

Anyone online will show up on the results list as green, while offline people will show up as red. You can still click the reds to “Spar” them (fight the player character as an AI). 

MOAR VFX

This update has focused on the test that we’re starting up, but, as always, we have a few visuals to share, some new some updated for the modern exile...

First, it’s the Mage class with a hot seat that this Ember Elf is not going to appreciate (and I cut out his reaction so you can see it yourself in the test if you venture into the very early PVE experiences...)

ROGUE VFX

Hey, Dwarf Brute, GET SOME...

WARRIOR VFX

And a Quake Stomp wouldn’t be very quaky without some earthquake VFX busting this Ember Beast down to size. 

NOW.. DON’T FORGET TO REMEMBER…

The test is on-- check the forums and Discord for bugs and feedback, and if you’re not in yet (but want to be), send TheWizard a PM in the forums, and we’ll see what we can do (no promises).

And if you haven’t already, follow along with Exiles development on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. And if you haven’t, I’ll find you. And SMITE you.

CONNECT WITH OTHER EXILES

If you want to hear about the game, ask questions or connect with others who are helping the development team think about features, design and narrative, hop into the Discord Channel for live chat and say hi– it’s a friendly crew with plenty of daily/weekly/sometimes-planned shenanigans.

[elkian]

chapter 23

“lol elk you’re a bit behind did you forget-” no. this chapter fucking murdered me.

First thing’s first

Ivan is a cheating cheater who cheats, so he has a crit rate at range with the shadow sword, which in theory is not supposed to be possible. I found this out 20+ turns in to this 24-turn map.

THINGS I’VE CHANGED:

I tried to train some of my lower units (Itsuke, Yue, Arthur, and Rex; Lirin to an extent) on my previous attempts. I will not do that. I am bringing Team Steamroll because I need someone who has a fucking chance to hit the boss.

re: having chance to hit the boss: I cheaped out on weaponry last attempt, and what few attacks could hit couldn’t finish him and he would murder anyone on a counter.

What do these four shots have in common?

...

These are my only units with 20+ Skill. I have 33 Units - including a number of Prepromotes - and a grand total of 4 of them have 20 or more Skill.

I’ve said it before on previous chapters, but this playthrough more than anything burned into my brain that, at the very least, Skill is not a dump stat when you don’t have enough of it.

With his paltry Defense but excellent Luck, Anakin had the least chance of being critted to death but could barely survive a regular hit. And a 4% chance to lose a Plot Character is officially Too Damn High.

Levion will be my Tactical Nuke of choice this run. Not only does he have the best Skill of most of my army, he has the defenses to tank return fire and enough Con to keep his Speed above being doubled, not to mention access to Lances.

While I was in here - and I need to clear some Inventory space for this and the next stage - I realized there’s no reason not to promote Kelik. He’s capped, Anakin’s promoted, Shon’s going to promote this run, and Sieg can’t use it.

Note that Kelik cannot go head to head with Ivan either. I’m not really sure what Blazer was thinking - Shon’s promotion gains are far better (though that might be a slight on Shon, since he needs all the help he can get).

Oh, and his official titel is...

Suuuuuure, Blazer. Sure.

Actually, he has a support with Althares and Levion, so it may be worth bringing him next attempt.

Anyways. Upon actually checking the numbers, trying to Dodge Ivan is nigh-impossible, which is a useful consideration.

I’ve replaced Yue, Itsuke, Arthur, and Rex with Levion, Inanna, Tamiko, and Ace.

Yes. Inanna. Why?

Because Triangle Attack if Levion can’t nuke Ivan in time is why.

Alice is an absolutely amazing Prepromote and comes equipped with an Elixir, Silver Lance, and Wind Sword(40 charges!). She doesn’t take up a deployment slot nor require inane recruitment shenanigans to start. One of my few regrets on this level was not requipping her better so that she didn’t need to keep using Wind Sword charges.

Oh, and I have a save file from my failed previous attempt if anyone wants to figure out how to kill Ivan with 4 turns to go and a passel of units that would melt if he looked at them wrong.

I just noticed that Inanna and Alice are the same level. After being fed like 3(?) Angelic Robes, Inanna is +6HP, -4 Skl, +1Spd, -6Lck, -3Def, and +1Res. Ouch.

Some inventory management. One of my BIGGEST regrets on my last attempt was only bringing the Armor Cutter and then the person wielding it always being in the wrong spot.

Oh yeah, I promoted Mark. He and his shiny new stats look super sweet. He’s a few points up on Liquid, who was my first pick for this level.

If I have to repick, I’ll probably trade out the pegs for Eduardo and Liquid, or possibly Shadow there.

OH

YEAH

THAT

An important consideration for Shon’s (absurdly heavy) super-special sword is that the Brave Effect takes place before enemy counterattacks. And he caps for-

-oh god, this is going to be one of THOSE runs isn’t it.

Anyways, Shon fulfills his Destiny(TM). Something I realized is that his sprite looks oddly probably because it’s a recolored Eliwood sprite. That hair in particular.

Again, the stat gains! +2 minimum in everything but luck, +3 and +5 to Def and HP respectively. Did Blazer use standard gains for Kelik and not Shon, or the other way around?

I recommend following along Blastinus’ LP, btw, since I’m very tired and not going to go over every detail, especially inventory management.

I’m more careful re: positioning, so the steel Lance cav closest attacks Inanna (miss)  and this mage attacks Mark. I’m kinda surprised he managed that counter, to be honest. No one else is in reach.

And here we have the True Boss of the map. This Bishop is equipped only with Physic, and is bound and determined to make your life a living hell.

:( even with Effective Weaponry Karina cannot 1-shot this cav. She and Innana do not have Delphi shields, so I need to be sure to knock out that archer before proceeding. (Archer is also in the outmost range of the hand axe Fighter nearby).

Lirin eats the Steel Lance Cav that attacked Inanna. 

On one hand, I’m enthused that she can almost double this archer to death. On the other, I’m sad she can’t double this archer to death. Also, 33 HP feels like a lot even for a level 16 Archer.

I always forget about Berserker crit rates

Everyone piles on the Steel Sword Cav, the last living foe in range. Sieg was doing this on my last attempt, too, as if to taunt me.

I was wrong, Karina’s in range of the Fire mage and a Javelin Cav to the north. Ace runs up to switch her to Javelins.

Anakin refreshes Tamiko and she takes out the Axereaver Soldier through the wall.

Dream big, buddy, dream big. (She crits them immediately)

And again! Crit on the second hit.

This is important: this is the range of the Bloody Rifle Sniper. I’d forgotten that Bloody Rifles are Killer Longbows.

Also, you can see that the jav cav stayed put since the mage moved first (and missed on 70+%. glad it’s not just me.)

Parking Mark on that hill just out of BR range leads to some unexpected hilarity and an excellent level.

This Fighter makes some questionable choices, though I will say I think this is the first time Alice took a hit on any of my attempts.

Jav Cav runs into melee range and joins the ranks of mooks who failed to hit Tamiko. The level’s a bit meh but she’s already incredible.

Lyam managed, across two turns, a pair of BR hits vs the stationary soldier indoors. I guess the first hit didn’t bring their health low enough to proc the Bishop.

Anakin Motivates Mark and gets this timely, if not exactly impactful, level.

Why did he refresh Mark, you may ask?

this is why. GET BENT.

By coincidence (Mark) and design (Shon), this plants my dudes right out of mage range. I will walk someone in there in a second though.

By luck I manage to Rescue-chain Althares to just below that zone, with Alice and Emma and no real wasted movement.

That Knight has the Brave Lance, btw, so be sure to keep them switched to the Javelin til you can kill them.

oop. Forgot that indoor Knight had a Jav too.

OH. THIS MAGE HAD ELFIRE. THAT’S RIGHT.

Karina misses but doubles since Elfire is heavy, and gets a timely level.

This troubadour is bugged or something - this is the second attempt in a row they’ve run up to a wounded ally and done nothing.

Of course it’s the redundant (Knight Levion just damaged) that you get a crit on. Still better than Storm.

Mark and Shon team up to kill the Knight (Shon has a free inventory slot and I don’t want the Brave Lance ending up with Liuke) and Karina takes Lirin’s Delphi Shield and soars up to switch Shon back to javelins.

Honestly one of the biggest crimes of this level is there’s no chance Liuke will be mobile, so if you mess up on inventory management sweet, useful loot will drop and have nowhere to go. There’s no shortcut back to him - it’s turn 6 and we’re just now in sight of the door.

that lower Mage has Dasher, which apparently has an animation in other versions of this Hack, but not this one.

Probably the smartest move in terms of survivability. Shon’s high Luck negates the Short Bow crit.

jeeeeez-us. Shon doubles the Dasher mage to death for a decent level whilst I contemplate how close we came to a reset here.

Aircalibur mage. The tome is fittingly as light as air, so they can put their full 11 speed to work fwiw. I will not be parking Karina in range.

That Fighter has a Steel Axe and the Sage has Thunder. Tread careful.

Mark dispatches the archer for this dodgy level.

It’s a good idea, on a map like this, to manually end each unit’s turn. For example, while paging through Units, I’d totally forgotten Anakin to the south. That would have been a pain to make up for. Instead he runs up to refresh Lyam for giggles.

Althares is on a House so he has some terrain advantages. Kinda wishing I’d brought his promotional now. Ah well.

Oh and I lied. I put the Short Bow (remember, Blazer hacked it to have 1-2 range) on Lyam and put him on the forest in front of the Fighter just to see, and he ends up melting the AC mage for no damage himself.

I actually got a crit on this potshot on the next turn only to realize that wasn’t the Sage and to reset. Sage does not get hit and I reset again because that was for actual joaks. I have no idea with the Bloody Rifle, honestly.

7 turns in to a 24-turn level and we are just now in sight of the door. A thief is about to spawn btw. The Door Key Knight and Chest Key Mage are buggy - the Knight will unlock the door, while the Mage will step on, but not open, the upper-leftmost chest, which is the first one the thief can reach. It can be pretty hilarious actually.

God. Even Sieg’s super-special effective sword isn’t enough to keep his ass intact. We don’t do this. instead, every non-magic-proof ally moves up to just out of range and every magic-proof one walks in.

Almost forgot to finish this joker off.

All the enemies on this level are high enough that low-promos can get decent chunks off them. I’d complain, but honestly I’m okay with these stats.

Every single JaveKnight goes for Lyam. He crits one, fells none, and doesn’t get hit once.

Lirin, meanwhile-

OH SHIT HE’S FAST ENOUGH TO DOUBLE

Yeah, I did not brain that good. Thankfully her Luck-Res-HP are all high enough to keep her in one piece.

Crunch the numbers, kids. Don’t end up with dead ponies.

Tamiko restore Lirin to full and she annihilates the Sage for a decent level. Wish she’d had that strength before - she could only do 14 with an Iron lance so I gambled on Steel instead.

Cia incinerates a remaining Knight for her first Sage level. Outstanding.

I doofed up and had Cia end turn after refreshing her so Levion and Lyam step into Hero-Merc range

Ow. Also, wishing I’d brought a sword for him after all. Didn’t use it at all last attempt. Guess I could have trade-scummed it.

It’s a good thing none of them can double him. He can’t double back, though (Cia can). He misses the Hero, too.

Shon smacks the Hero down and snags the Angelic Robe from them.

Lyam notches the Steel Sword Merc for a level I have no right to complain about.

Liring and Innana finish off the Mercs; Emma and Althares dash for the left side treasure. I come to the realization that Emma could very likely solo the entire left side, since the Mage drops the Chest Key. I want to try grabbing the Lockpicks this time, though, so Althares joins her.

Okay, solo is an exaggeration but not by that much. Also, dammit, I should have kept her at the edge of range. Ah well, Javelin drop is good too.

...well okay then (that’s the Emblem Axe btw)

I’ll take it!

The chest key Mage steps down to fail at hitting Althares, but the Thief still goes right. Maybe the Mage isn’t meant to move.

Althares, with Anakin’s help, steals both Lockpicks and Dracoshield. Howard kills the mage (needing a steel sword for it too) and Emma obligingly melts the thief for an odd-for-her but very welcome level.

Right side needs to be cautious. I don’t think it’s an accident that this Cappricio-wielding General is right in range of that cracked wall. The Shaman just has Flux, but that Physic Bishop is right there. That Warrior at the bottom is carrying a silver axe, too.

Yowch. Alice and the Shaman both land a hit, Alice whiffs the second.

Althares grabs the Earth Master Animate Seal and the squad swings back around.

Levion gives no fucks about your critty lance, though I actually sit him on a pillar instead.

Enemy phase, everyone misses.

not Levion, though.

Honestly, having this guy out of my hair is well worth the Silver Axe uses.

Innana and Lyam knock down the wall and Mark has better odds with Iron. He gets up to 98 EXP too.

Ace and Levion finish off the General for a surprisingly decent level.

Thanks to some trade shenanigans, Alice pops the chest. I decide to send the Axe on since Levion is about the only person who has a chance landing a hit on the boss with WTA

ACE IS BA-

-ck?

Halberdier with Drizzle

Archer with Steel and Longbows

I really wish Anakin had a prestige class of some kind. His high utility means he earns EXP super fast - ten per phase just from Motivating - and he’ll ram 20 sooner than later.

Innana and Lirin kill the Archer and Alice grabs a Bloody Rifle from the chest.

Levion and Mark move into Drizzle range- thanks to WTA Mark can just scrape by not getting critted to death and Tamiko heals Lirin for a decent level

times like these I really wish I had the Heavy Lance. I keep forgetting to trade the Armor cutter off Howard too - all the armored units have Lances so I keep forgetting.

OH SH-

THANK GOD

Mark initiates The Slaughter and gets a great level for it.

Drizzle’s low hit (Ace’s on a pillar) means that no one has gotten hit yet, thank god.

Inanna finishes the job and gets a level.

Yup. That sure is a level.

We don’t start the final offensive just yet, but I check the numbers of Swordslayer vs Swordmaster and conclude that I love Levion.

One of the biggest problems I had in my last attempt is that no one had the HP to tank a crit from that damn thing. Levion can take a crit, as well as a single Silver Sword Crit I believe and the double.

Also, I can’t tell if this is deliberate or a coding bug/fail, but unlike other ranged swords the Shadow Sword uses Strength at both ranges and can crit at both ranges. Don’t get crit if you can help it.

Althares opens the leftmost door and Karina snags this, sending the now-redundant Delphi Shield back to the convoy. Be absolutely sure you have space before you play this level. The next one gives you a ton of shopportunities too.

Alice and Lyam take down the Shaman. What does it say when it takes two prepromotes to kill an unpromoted enemy, I wonder?

Oh, btw.

Ace can double a swordmaster.

we won’t be doing this (jfc that crit) but still.

It takes Howard (2 misses with the Emblem Axe) Sieg and Cia to kill the true boss of the level.

NOW we can start on Ivan.

Bad: Ivan doubles and hits twice while Levion misses.

Good: He doesn’t crit and has switched off of distance attacks. I forgot about plinking.

Althares grabs the last item - an Eclipse tome - leaving boss and throne all that’s left undone.

Even with his Accuracy woes, Ace whips out two Javelin hits. I love you, Ace.

just for chuckles, I let Howard take a shot with the Killer Lance. No one dies and he doesn’t hit.

I move Anakin up for Motivating Ace before having second thoughts.

Remember what I said about Light Magic being a good finisher due to its high accuracy?

No one dies, but he makes both hits.

Oh. Huh.

I’ll take it.

And this chapter is FUCKING FINISHED. I have so many regrets, largely due to making bad starting choices and not knowing how to finish. I probably didn’t need to steam roll it this hard, but Aside from some scares no one was actually at risk of death at any point. And there’s an arena next map for actual training and purchasing purposes.

Night all.

(if you have interest in my failed attempt, it’s a private post over here)

[evilelitest2]

100 Days of Trump Day 64: Fallout New Vegas

Edit: Of all the 100 Days of Trump i’ve done, this one has gotten the most response, I suspect because most Alt Rightists haven’t heard of anything I reference except Fallout New Vegas.  Also they keep saying its bullshit but can’t actually point to any specific fact to dispute because you know...morons 

Welcome Back to 100 Days of Trump, where I try to explain WTF happened in 2016 through 100 works of fiction, and I think we haven’t had quite enough video games in the last three days, lets talk fallout.  Now the Fallout series has a lot of depth, good characters, fun gameplay and interesting ideas so generally I recommend all of it....except Fallout 3....and Fallout 4....and Brotherhood of Steel.....Ok really just the first two games and this one, but the point is only New Vegas is really relevant to Trump, but play the first two if you like classic RPGs.

     So everybody knows that Fallout is a post nuclear world, but the premise of the...good games is that society collapsed.....nothing really changed.  People are exactly the same just with less fancy houses and and the sins of the Old World continue on to the future.  So ok, sounds like post Great Recession America, how is this about Trump?  Well FallOut New Vegas is about the player being trapped between three factions

 Caesar's Legion, a violent reactionary sexist, racist, right wing militant extremist group who advocate racial supremacy, and a return to an idealized past that never existed.

The New Californian Republic, A bunch of corrupt moderates who couch their language in the ideals of democracy and progressive ideals but are duplicitous, warmongering, and have become increasingly sexist, racist, classist, and undemocratic but look good compared to the first group.

Mr. House, a completely amoral rich plutocrat whose utter selfishness and open hostility to submitting to any form of control are mixed with surprisingly progressive social policies and honest look at the problems.

    So New Vegas is an alternate universe if Bloomberg actually ran third party, and Trump wasn’t a complete idiot. 

Today though, I want to focus on Caesar’s Legion.  One of the themes of New Vegas is even though the US has been wiped out, everybody is clinging to symbols of the past, clinging to them out of context and justifying their actions by claiming continuity with the past.  The NCR claims to literally be the US goverment despite a century long gap between the fall of the US and the NCR’s founding, or the fact that it doesn’t use our constitution, or the fact that it is only located in California.  And its desire to seize control of all the American land means it prioritizes war over its citizen’s well being (stop me if this sounds familiar).  Mr. House is determined to preserve the culture of Las Vegas, or rather the way we imagine Las Vegas, with all of the actual realities of Vegas culture removed, its the city center without the city around it, forcibly preserved by an immortal dictator.  All the factions try to link themselves to a mystical past (a past we know is utterly whitewashed cause its our present), but the worst of them all, is Caesar’s Legion

    See, Edward Sallow was a history nut of the old world when he read about the Roman Empire, and sought to recreate it anew in post apocalyptic Nevada, arguing that since Rome is the foundation of Western Civilization, a return to true Western Greatness.  Wherever they go, they bring cultural purity, slavery, Roman era gender relations, and require absolute conformity to their way of life.  According to Caesar

“Pax Romana=It means a nationalist, imperialist, totalitarian, homo genius culture that obliterates the identity of every group it conquers.  Long term stability at all costs.  The individual has no value beyond his utility to the state, whether as an instrument of war or production”

But here is the thing, speaking as a big roman history nut.....THAT ISN’T TRUE.  Pax Romonus means “Roman Peace” and means just that, peace.  Rome was an Imperialistic, slave owning, genocidal empire that could be extraordinarily brutal, but guess what?  It wasn’t nationalistic, the Roman Empire was always borrowing ideas from other cultured cultures in order to improve their empire, it was extremely multicultural and interventionist.   I mean

   The Roman Navy was Carthaginian 

   The Roman Gods were Greek 

    Later they converted to a monotheistic Sect from Judea

    For a while they worshiped a Syrian god named Sol Invictus 

   Most of the Elites Spoke Greek

   The Roman Legionary Structure was influenced by the neighboring Samnites

   The roman Calvary was almost always Gallic, North Africa, German or Syria

    Trajan and Hadrien were Spanish

   The Severun dynasty was North African/Syrian (and btw the dynasty that most resembled New Vegas)

    The Ilyrian Emperors who saved rome from the Crisis of the Third Century AD, like Aurelian, Diocletion, Claudius Gothicus) were from the Balkans

  Constantine was Balkan/British

   Flavius Aetius (who defeated Atilla the Hun) was Scythian 

   Justinian and Belisarius weren’t Latin Roman

   Hell after a certain point, almost none of the Emperors are Roman any more, instead they are German, or Hunnic, Syrian or Raba, Spanish or African, Gaulic or Balkan, non Roman Italian, 

  In fact, one of the main reasons why Western Roman Empire fell is that it didn’t allow the various Gothic/Germanic strongmen to become Emperor in their own RIght.

    Rome was never a homogeneous unchanging culture, from Romulus to Constantine XI Roman is defined by its capacity to change and adapt, and its multi cultural empire gave it a lot of ideas to draw upon.  And when you look at White Nationalists today who fetishist Rome, it is a rome they don’t understand.    By the Way, that Hegelian view of history, that is believed by Steave Bannon. 

   Also...the transformation to dictatorship doesn’t go as Caesar claims, cause guess what?  Julius Caesar didn’t invade a foreign nation to become Emperor, he had a civil war with his own country.  And Augustus Caesar took pains to ensure that his Empire was a soft and nonthreatening as possible, the more authoritarian emperors like Septimius Severus were terrible rulers whose regimes fell into civil war and chaos.  

Also The Julians didn’t claim to be “Son of Mars” they claimed to be descended from Venus Goddess of Love, hence her role in the Aeneid.  

This is the foundation of the Roman Imperium, the Goddess of Love     

     Also Rome didn’t emerge out of a harsh brutal land to fight against the weak fat settled people, Rome emerged in Central Italy, a lush fertile climate.  Hell according to legend, Rome was founded by the refuse and exiles from all the surrounding societies, who came to Rome for a second chance and married Sabine women.  Honestly Caesar (the in game Caesar no real life, Julius Caesar) seems to be confusing Rome with Sparta, and which of those two civilizations conquered the known world?  I’ll give you a hint, it wasn’t the one with the eugenics model.  It was the one with the independent aristocracy, and a Republic who did most of the conquest of Rome.  This is a map of Rome at its height 

and this is how much of that was taken by the Republic, not the empire

That is more than half, and a great deal of the remaining was conquered by Emperor Claudius, you know, this guy?

the one with the limp and the stammer and the twitch.  The Empire mostly fought Romans, it was the Republic that did the real conquering.  To say nothing of the road building.    

    And when the Legion tries to Cosplay as Real Rome, it never quite matches the true stories. 

   This stories resembles Roman propaganda, except...Rome rarely wiped out the entire population, in fact their empire was supported by a network of client kingdoms who betrayed their former rulers to side with Rome.  One of the most important pieces of Roman rule that if you surrendered, you were treated fairly, if you fought a bit and then surrendered, you were treated well.  If you fought to the death, stuck to your principles as Vulpes implies, then you were wiped out.  Just ask the Jews at Masada how Rome respects those who fight to the last.  

    So we have a violent, militant, reactionary culture fetishistic a past that never truly existed and they don’t seem to understand to justify extreme racism, violence, and horrifying sexism in order to fight against a corrupt hypocritical but far less awful democratic regime.  Sound Familiar

oh.....well that too but also this 

   Those who idealize history are always those who understand it the least, and New Vegas for all its buggy often frustrating gameplay glory, understands what happens when history is co-opted by those who don’t understand it but wish to use the symbols of nostalgia to justify their own atrocities.  Isn’t that Right Ulysses, so named after the man who traveled the ocean for 10 year trying to find home and then freed all the Slave?

Edit: I also want to talk about this real quick

Yeah that whole “War is great for its own sake” macho bullshit?  The Romans weren’t so into that, they were much more into “Hey, work for us, and you can keep all your stuff”  There is a reason why all of the ancient rome spoke of Roman Treachery.  

    The Pax was about law and order, not about conquest and survival of the fittest, I mean the entire point of the Aenied is rejecting the Illiad’s macho warrior culture mentality