the fact that irving canonically survives through the end of asunder to be at wynne's funeral is so fucking funny to me. nothing but love and respect for MY unstoppable cockroach morally grey machiavellian mage dad!!! he's survived in his position through multiple attempted rites of annulment and blood mage plots popping up left right and center around him. the chantry keeps trying to stamp him out but his dodge game is simply out of this world, divine. civil wars, political machinations and minefields, chantry atrocities, this wily old motherfucker is dodging and weaving his way through it all, not-quite-no-hits-taken-running-it-but-honestly-close-enough-under-the-circumstances style. if solas does succeed in tearing down the veil I would fully believe that one of the like three people still alive at the end of it all would be a very weary 90 year old first enchanter irving going 'oh this shit again huh'. the maker has cursed him for his hubris and his paperwork is never finished (affectionate, it's fine he canonically loves paperwork)
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it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.
yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.
it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.
how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.
chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?
how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.
"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.
i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.
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Great episode for my fellow Alicent enjoyers.
Apologizing to Aegon and holding him. Cupping Aemond’s cheek even through all the strife they’ve had recently. Protecting Helaena and running to save her. Conversing with Gwayne about Daeron and showing her vulnerability. Showing that she feels like a failure as a mother. Gwayne being the only person to tell her ‘I see you. You did what you could. You did your best’.
They’re showing all the love my girl has. She’s filled with it. But where can it go? Her love is broken. It’s sharp and cuts like glass, but it’s there and she tried.
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anons asked me how my cousland and surana knew each other: she was his childhood friend/healer/…… bully! lol
actual explanation under.
cousland was born very sick. it was generally thought he was housebound in highever and his grandfather’s bannorn at the storm coast because of the abundance of spindleweed there.
in truth, he was suffering from an illness that ran through his maternal line, rooted in the sanguinarian reaver culture fearchar and his ancestors heavily partook in. cousland’s assured infant death was prevented by a blood mage sworn to fealty and secrecy. he subsequently lived and grew up alongside the mage’s daughter, surana, who farmed spindleweed and was learned in healing.
surana was cousland’s only friend during his entire time in ferelden. surana herself was selectively mute. she could not speak to her own enraged, severe mother but was able to around cousland. much of this stifled expression and redirected anxiety was exhibited in their dynamic, with surana often domineering and tormenting him to maintain his attention. while their connection was fond, surana could not count on it to be unconditional. this was a very scared girl who saw time and time again his kind fail her kind. the story goes a little more complex but ultimately what happened was this: surana gave herself up to the circle, her mother was found dead, and cousland recovered.
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brought my long-suffering tabletop warlock Kalus with me when I started my BG3 playthrough and he's having a great time. making lots of new friends. sticking worms in his brain. the usual.
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Morrigan gave me -5 disapproval because of my romance with Alistair, are these two that petty about each other??
THE JUDGEMENT
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Oh so when the Inquisitor temporarily allies with soldiers from a hostile, conquering foreign nation and the battle goes south, they’re allowed to call the retreat to save their own people. But when I, Loghain Mac Tir-
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