#Bedside Runners

[cosmorugs]

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[homelivingthings]

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[snehalpatel]

[moorishcarpet]

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[cowgurrrl]

Roll The Bones

Pairing: Joel Miller x reader

Author’s note: I wrote this in the midst of a flare up so please enjoy and be gentle with your disabled friends <3

Summary: A bad pain day with Joel [1.5k]

Warnings: descriptions of injuries and subsequent chronic pain, medical settings and discussion, I think that’s it??

When Joel finds you, you're in a pitiful state. Your arm is folded over your face, covering your eyes even though the blinds are closed and the room is dark. Your right leg is peeking out from under the bundle of blankets and quilt, elevated with a lukewarm towel surrounding the swelling kneecap. The room smells like the salve someone in the town makes that's supposed to alleviate your pain. So far, it's just given you a headache. Your entire body throbs with pain and frustration. It shouldn't be like this, you think ruefully. I shouldn't feel like this. 

Joel lightly pads over to your bedside— his footsteps quiet now that he's discarded his boots by the front door— and perches next to you. His hand finds a home on your afflicted knee and carefully maneuvers his thumb over the tendons to help with the pain. You shift the arm covering your face to reach for him, and he smiles. 

"There she is," he murmurs as you take him in. His hair is long and a little unruly in the back, but you think it makes him look soft and domestic. He's shed his work jacket and heavier clothes downstairs and is clad in his soft, well-worn-in flannel. He smells like pine and leather. You want to wrap yourself in his warmth but settle for having him nearby. "Ellie told me you were havin' a rough day." He says. It doesn't surprise you that she did, even though you promised her you were fine and didn't need him. It's become rare that she doesn't update him daily on your health.

About a year ago, you were on patrol with Tommy when a Runner came out of nowhere and charged at your horse. She startled and bucked you off before you could regain control of the reins. The Runner was dead before you could hit the ground, and your horse would be recovered within the day, but the damage was done. You broke your leg in two places and dislocated your knee, in addition to a low-level concussion and cuts on your face and arms. When you came back into Jackson on Tommy's horse, half-conscious, bloody, and delirious with pain, Joel was horrified, Ellie even more so.

You were in the hospital for a month as they used what they could to put you in something akin to a cast and reset the bones. Joel and Ellie took turns being guards at your bed, monitoring what they gave you, when, and how much, and how your healing process was going. They were there with you every day, learning the tips and tricks to support you and keeping you sane as you stared at the white walls. 

Six months, the doctor said. Six months is all it would take to be back to normal as long as you did everything you were supposed to. Things have gotten better slower than you would like, but they have gotten better. You have really good days where you don't feel anything other than slight twinges when you move your leg in a weird way. Those days, it's hard to remember that you broke it in the first place. But other days, like today, you can feel every muscle in your leg tightening as stiff pain rockets up and down your body. You thought you could persevere enough to go to the store with Ellie, but your body obviously had other plans.

"My leg gave out on me when I was coming down the stairs. Pretty sure I made the whole house shake when I fell." You explain, and his eyebrows knit together in phantom pain as his thumb works your muscle. 

"You hurt anythin'?" He asks. "Other than your pride?" You blow air out of your nose in a half-laugh and shake your head. 

"Just some bruises," you say. He finds a tender spot in your knee that makes you hiss and ball up your fists, but he doesn't let up until the muscle releases. It's what he's supposed to do: break up the scar tissue, relax the muscles, and hope for the best. It still hurts like a bitch, and it'll hurt more in the morning. He mumbles apologies under his breath and kisses you to try and distract you, but your brain's been running wild for hours. "I went so long without any pain." You finally say, breaking the reverie and collapsing the unwanted space your pain often creates. 

"You've been takin' on a lot these past few weeks. It doesn't surprise me somethin' would flare up." It's an honest assessment. He warned you this would happen, but you ignored him. You thought you knew your body better. You wanted to know your body better. The returning thought and the gentle hand on your knee turn your tongue into sandpaper, and tears prick in the corners of your eyes. Despite the low light in the room, Joel catches it and makes a sympathetic noise. 

"Hey, talk to me." He says softly, shifting his hand from your knee to your face to catch a few stray tears. You shake your head and try and fail to form the words. Joel is patient. He always is, but he shouldn't have to be. 

"I'm so tired of being like this." You whisper, hating the feel of the words on your tongue and hating the sound of them even more. Joel gives you a confused look and pushes your hair out of your face. 

"Bein' like what?"

"Sick," you choke out. Now that the dam is broken, there's no stopping the bitter rush of words from leaving you. "We took her across the country and got rid of anyone who even looked at her wrong. Now, I can't even get on a horse without hurting. And I do all the stupid fucking things the doctor tells me to do. I do the exercises and take the medicine and everything, and nothing is making it better, and I'm so tired." 

"Why didn't you tell me that?" 

"Because I didn't want you to think I'm broken." It's a thought you've harbored since you were laid up in the hospital, unable to even walk to the bathroom without help, but this is the first time you've expressed it. You secretly hoped if you just didn't say anything about it, maybe Joel wouldn't notice. It's a stupid idea, given that your entire lives have changed since the accident. You just didn't want to get thrown away like all the other broken things in this world. Joel takes a deep breath and gazes at you. 

"Honey, you aren't broken. Not even close to it," he says. You want to counter him, but the weight of your emotion is too heavy on your chest. "I wanna know if somethin' is hurtin' you cause when you hurt, I hurt, okay? You're not a burden or somethin' to fix. You just… need a little extra care right now, and that's okay. I wanna take care of you."

"What if it's like this forever?" You ask, and he shakes his head. 

"It won't be."

"But, what if it is?" More tears fill your eyes as you await his answer. He didn't fall in love with this version of you. You don't know if you could blame him if he never does. But with enough ease and love to take your breath away, Joel kisses your forehead, right where your temple smacked against the cold ground. He kisses your forehead and the white scars littering your cheeks before finally shifting to kiss the knee propped up on pillows and hope. He doesn't flinch at the swelling or the angry spasms. He treats them with care and attention. He treats them as another part of you. 

"Takin' care of you has never and will never be on the list of worst things imaginable. Your health is not a sacrifice or a burden on me. If it's like this forever, we'll adapt, but I know you. I know how hard you're workin' to get better. I know we'll find a way to live with this," he says. "But I need you to talk to me when things aren't workin'. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's helpin' and what's not, okay?" You swallow around the lump in your throat and nod. 

"Okay." 

"Okay," he echoes. "I'm gonna get you an appointment with Dr. Lutton and see if we can't get you on a new treatment plan first thing tomorrow mornin'. Is there anythin' I can do for you until then?" He asks, fully prepared to go to the edge of the earth if you asked him to. 

"Can you lay with me?" You ask, and he smiles. 

"Of course, baby." He mumbles. He kisses your knee one more time before shuffling to wrap you in his arms. The warmth from his body helps relieve some of your tension and pain, and he kneads calming circles over your shoulders and back. Your focus shifts from the pain in your leg to the song he's humming, the vibrations in his chest a welcome distraction. The pain doesn't go away entirely— you doubt it ever will— but you rest your weary body against his and sleep, finding wholeness in his acceptance of your loss. 

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[hometoursandotherstuff]

I'm the first one to say that I dislike white and gray homes, but I just fell in love with this 1886 boutique home in the storybook town of Kingsville, Ontario, Canada. The 5bd, 3ba home comes FULLY FURNISHED, C$849,900.

I love the baby blue double doors and wreaths.

The interior side of the doors are painted gray and white stripes to match the ceiling. The whole home is painted white, but the wood on the original railing give it a nice contrast. Put on your sunglasses b/c it's blindingly white in here. The new buyer can always add color, though.

We get to look at the furniture b/c it's included in the sale. The oversized loveseat is a beautiful piece, but it may overwhelm this space. The runner on the stairs is lovely and usually I don't like runners.

Twin sofas and chairs in the sitting room face each other. I love the chandelier and the painted flowers around the ceiling medallion.

This sitting room is a TV room. It has a fireplace, nice wallpaper and a pretty basket weave lampshade. It's hard to see, but it looks like there are whimsical flamingos on the wallpaper. That wood piece in the corner sticks out like a sore thumb. If there were other wood pieces it would tie in better.

The kitchen has a double Viking stove, lovely backsplash tile, and I like the windows in the upper cabinets. Most of all, I love the blue antique island and wicker stools.

Look at the large pantry.

The porch, with beautiful brick walls, makes a light, breezy dining room. Love the blue wicker chairs to complete the look, plus the window shelves with plants.

Windows let in lots of natural light.

Very nice laundry room.

Lovely vintage half bath.

Set up as a home office, this room has lots of shelving, so it can be whatever the new owner likes- a library, craft room, or even a place to display a collection.

Looking down at the entrance hall.

The primary bedroom is beautifully furnished. Love the large bedside tables and antique vanity.

Brand new shower room. It's small, but nicely done. They made the most of the space.

This secondary bedroom has lovely vintage furniture.

The 2 smaller bedrooms are pretty also.

The bright, finished basement has wonderful original stone walls.

And, there's also a spacious shower room.

Pretty door on the side porch.

Large patio with a firepit and pergola.

There's also a 2 car garage with original vintage doors.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/90-Main-St-E-Kingsville-ON-N9Y-1A4/348751159_zpid/

[grapejuicestyless]

can you do a conrad fic based off the song i know you by faye webster?? angst to fluff? love youuuuu

I Know You.

Conrad Fisher x fem!reader

flangst

summery: As the years went on, it became more apparent to Conrad of his and Y/n’s two year age gap. As he spends his last summer before college in a downward spiral. His mother, his father. But most important, the inevitable end of summer. Where he will go off to college and she will stay in high school.

Summer was always my favorite time of the year. The sand between your toes, the sunshine warming your scalp. Even in the sweltering heat, the summer temperatures only made the cool ocean water more desirable. More than that, it was the season of Conrad Fisher.

We’d met when I was only seven. He was nine, back when his hair was still shorter and his glasses weren’t collecting dust on his bedside table, but instead sat clean on the bridge of his nose. My parents had decided to finally buy the small beach house that had been on the market for almost a year. It was always my mom’s dream to live down by the water, so my father had been saving for it just so maybe one day, they could retire by the water, like the old couples do in the cheesy movies. The house that they bought that day sat neatly beside the Fishers beach house. Nothing but a wooden fence to separate the two backyards and a line of bushes in the front.

The first summer down, it was cold. Already, I had kicked and cried about leaving my friends for so long. Both new and old, all with the fear that they would leave and find better friends in my absence. Now, on top of my already distaste of the distance from our home, the sky was gloomy and the temperature refused to surpass the high sixties. It rained almost everyday, and when it wasn’t raining, it was about to.

It stayed that way for a week, the same week I spent inside, curled up in my room and looking out the window anxiously. I wanted to swim, at least. I wanted to run in the grass and I wanted to do everything my mother promised. I missed my friends and I missed my bed. Summer wasn’t summer to me.

Then, one morning, the sun came out. The cold front moved out and an intense heat suddenly took over. The mid eighties seemed like a dream. I could feel the sweat on the back of my neck sticking to my hair. My shirt sleeves were rolled up and my cheeks were burned. I spent the whole morning running around and playing pretend. I didn’t need anything in that moment but the surrounding joys of the summertime weather that had finally came. I was so caught up in this that I didn’t see the football go hurling over the fence.

“Hey!” His voice was much higher pitched then, he was just a boy. But it still scared me. It was loud, sudden. It made me jump. When I turned to face where the sound came from, he looked apologetic, but he never apologized. He was gripping onto the fence so hard, it was obvious he was either on his tip toes or not touching the ground at all.

I stared at him like an idiot, stuck in place, piecing together the context clues. I understood now that he was my neighbor. I waved shyly then, not wanting to be rude, and he waved back, still gripping the edge of the fence with one hand.

“I lost my ball, could you throw it over?” I was suddenly aware of the brown football by my foot. He pointed at it until I looked.

Slowly, I picked it up to show him. For some reason I felt nervous, unsure. He nodded, his smile never fading. Even then he had the kindest eyes, the warmest smile.

“I don’t know how.” I confessed. I knew how to paint, I could ride a bike. I was a quick runner and I could out-spell anyone in my second grade class. But I never learned how to throw a football. My dad had never taken the time to toss a ball around with me like he had once promised my mother to do. So, I never bothered to learn either.

“What?” He questioned.

“I don’t know how.” I repeated, unmoving.

“You don’t know how to throw a football?” He laughed, but he wasn’t making fun of me. It was almost like he couldn’t believe someone could lack such a skill!

“Thats what I said.” I held it with both hands, looking at the lacing while I spun in around in my palms.

“I can teach you!” He said, a little too enthusiastically.

“What?” I questioned him this time.

“I can teach you! I play football, let me teach you!” He persisted, adjusting himself on the fence so he could hang there for longer.

When I didn’t move he continued to beg. He begged and begged until finally I walked over the the gate that resided between the sides of our homes. It was rusted and hard to open, but it budged eventually and once I was over, I could see him fully.

He wore a blue baseball tee and athletic shorts. His glasses were fogging up from the heat and his hair was collecting sweat along his hairline.

That day, we didn’t leave the confinements of that yard until his mom, that I now know as Susannah, called for him to come inside for dinner. When he begged both his mom and I to stay for dinner, neither of us put up any fight. He called dibs to sit at the end of the table so he could sit beside me, and when dinner was served he gathered my plate for me so I wouldn’t feel awkward.

That night, he and Belly, who I met at dinner because she was to my right side, and who was also my age, begged again to let me stay over for the night. Susannah was unsure, not wanting to worry my parents too much. The next morning, he was knocking on my front door bright and early. He claimed we still had more to learn, but we spent the entire day down by the beach with his surf board and buckets for sandcastles. Suddenly, with Conrad beside me, I didn’t mind being so far from home anymore. Summer became summer.

Kicking the sand as I went, my footsteps left a trail of divots on the beach, marking where we had already been. The sun was just peaking over the horizon now. The air hadn’t gathered the usual summer humidity levels yet. It was the perfect time to be down here. Yet, today the waves were flat and the tide was too far out to really enjoy it. Regardless, Conrad and I always came down. No matter what.

It was one of the many traditions we’d gathered over the years. The yearly made up games became calming walks. The burning passion and competitiveness between us still burned, but in other ways. Our early morning enthusiasm never dimmed, it simply shinned for something else.

It was silent between us, but not awkward. Usually during this time we would talk about everything we missed. Though we practically slept in the same bed each night during the summer, his home in Boston and my families apartment in New York was much too far apart for us to constantly be together.

We would talk about school, our dreams, our friends and family. We still did all of that, but I couldn’t help but notice how he spoke less and less of his friends and more and more about us, Brown, and his mom.

Part of me worried for him, honestly. He called me just a few months ago. He had decided to quit football. I was shocked. How had Conrad, a boy with more passion for the sport than anyone I knew, somehow lost all the burning desire for it? Not only that, but it was that passion that brought us together in the first place. It was foolish to have been so caught up on the news, it was inevitable that we would’ve met. But part of me wondered if it would have been the same. I couldn’t help but wonder if his sudden disappearance from his clubs and sports made him drift away from them.

I still remember the call, when he told me everything. His deepest secrets, the ones that he kept from his own blood. When I laid down my concerns for him, how blandly he had stated it. I needed to know if there was something that happened. Something had to have happened. Conrad brushed it off then, he told me he had grown up and grew out of it. I knew that was a lie. He was just raving about it last summer. How excited he was to be back on the field. He described the the Friday night lights as the closest feeling to the summer sun he would ever be in the colder months. Something had happened.

So, when the line went silent, I reminded him of how he could run circles around anyone he wanted, but not me.

“Conrad,” I had started, “I know you.” And he knew what I meant. It was like I was watching him crumble beneath my fingers, even if I couldn’t see his face. He told me about his fathers infidelity, his mothers resistance towards freeing herself from their relationship. More than that, now that he was a senior, the reality of moving away for school was a looming storm cloud scaring him. But he never mentioned the loss of his friends.

“Hows Brett and Johnny?” I asked, suddenly aware that the farther we got down the beach, the less we had to say. We already covered it all over the phone, too eager to wait this year. It felt wrong, so I dug in the one blind spot this year.

“Oh…uh, I don’t really talk to them anymore.” He said is so casually, scratching at the back of his head. I expected to be partly right, but not right on the money. I stopped in my tracks, confused.

“What? No! Brett and Johnny?” Drifting away from childhood best friends is inevitable in most cases. The interests you share as children develop into passions and mature hobbies that often differ from one another. You are led down another path, but the kind smile they give you in the hallway during passing period reminds you how close you once were. You chat in the classes you have together and you catch up every so often.

“Yeah.” He took a deep breath like he was going to continue, but he didn’t. He stopped himself, he never stopped himself. Especially when it came to Brett and Johnny. His pals, his buddies!

He used to talk my ear off about them every summer! Begged Susannah to let them come with him. He told me of everything they did during the school year and he taught me their schoolyard games and we made the same stupid bets. It was a boyish love, I was so sure they would be the ones to stick together.

“I’m sorry.” I felt like it was my fault, somehow. When I connected the dots, his fathers affairs, his mothers giving heart, his brothers attitudes, his never ending stresses, I was left with a scribble of nothing. Just lines that resemble something that should mean something, but don’t. His friends wouldn’t leave him for something so small. I was missing something. I knew it.

He stopped himself, he was tense. He couldn’t even look at me. I wanted to slap it in his face that I knew something was missing, something bigger. I knew him. But the look in his eyes he hid almost completely behind his gentle gaze warned me not to push. If I unsurfaced it, he might not survive. So I let him hold back, just this once. I hope the squint in my eyes assured him I still, couldn’t have circles ran around me. I could simply read the room.

The longer summer progressed, the quieter Conrad got. It wasn’t just his friends that lacked in conversation. It was everything. He walked beside me more often than not with his head down and his hands in his pockets. He never talked about school, or his mom. He never asked about me anymore, what we should do. He lacked any ability to care, it seemed.

His eyebrows are forever furrowed. That kind smile replaced with an empty expression. During the day he was uninterested in every way. He never participated, never cared enough to even try. Yet, when night rolls around and I slip in through the window, I’m his again. He doesn’t really speak like he used to. We don’t laugh hardly enough. But he reaches his arms out just the same, and welcomes me into his bed. And when he thinks I’m asleep, I catch him pulling me in just a little bit harder than before.

I can’t help but wonder where it really started. I think back on it, and the first signs were all there. So small it was hard to know if it was really him changing or if he was just growing. Quitting football, losing his friends. Losing his father, in some sense.

But every time I try I always see that same look in his eyes. The one warning me not to push. The one that forced me to listen.

It wasn’t like he was being cold towards me. But there was an obvious difference in our nature. Shorter walks, longer wake ups. He was tired, and now so was I. But not of him, never of him.

“Conrad?” I asked in the silence. His room was darker now that he had ditched his nightlight all those years ago. The moon didn’t quite illuminate it the same as the glowing yellow did. I felt his body next to mine, his arms hovering over my body. His breathing was steady and his body unmoving other than the gentle rise and fall of his chest.

“I wish you would tell me what’s going on with you. I just want to help.” I sighed, under my breath. It was so quiet, even the waves in the distance seemed louder. I spoke this way just incase he was awake, in case he was lying. I never really knew anymore. He might as well have been sleepwalking these past few weeks.

When a silent pause passed, I understood there would be no response. He wouldn’t open up, and there would be no resolve. Conrad was and will always be my best friend. He’ll come around, I knew it. He had to. I doubt myself just a little when I remember his resistant look and unwavering attitude. I begin to think that it’s me. I have lost that special spot in Conrad that made him feel like he could always be as vulnerable as he wanted with me. I am not enough. I begin to think the day he comes back to me will never come, and he will be off to college with his new life and forget all about the girl who learned how to find his favorite constellations by heart just so they could point and laugh all summer about how they drifted quickly across the sky.

“Conrad!” I called out. My feet his the sand harshly. The uneven surface sinking quicker the harder my feet hit only slowed me down. My outstretched arms would never be enough.

He was already up the steep hill. Nearly crossing through the hedges and over the fence to his backyard. He was a storm. Untamed and wild. His fists clenched, not from anger but frustration. The sound of the bonfire faded into the distance, and my lungs were hot and sticky with smoke and the salt air.

“Conrad, stop!” I yelled again, straddling the fence clumsily. With an extra hop I barely cleared it having no time to gain any composure when splitting it.

Finally, the speed of my legs compared to his long strides balanced, and my hand was close enough to grab at him. He didn’t spin, but I could see the bruises on his knuckles and the radiating heat from his clothes. He was hot, worked up too. I just needed to see him, finally pry him open.

“Conrad, whats going on with you?” I begged for him to tell me. I wasn’t at all disgusted with him, I held no judgement. But it would’ve been so much easier to defend him if I had a reason.

“Go home, Y/n.” He was angry, his hands pushing back his hair so much, I thought he might rip it out.

“We used to talk about things, remember that? When we could talk about everything? Why shut me out? Why now!” I expected some sort of sympathy. Anything that would explain his distance and let me back in.

“Go home, Y/n.” His voice was steady, but strict. When he shook his arm, my hand came off so quick it slapped against my thigh. It hurt but I would never tell him. Make myself look more immature than I felt already. Just a dumb girl trying to understand his complex feelings.

Maybe he didn’t expect me to actually do what he said. He didn’t see that I would actually turn on my heals and head for home. He let out a choked breath, and just barely over the gentle breeze I could hear him sniffling.

My parents were out of town until Tuesday. I was so excited for this weekend. I could barely wait for tonight. The first Friday for just us in months. I bought his favorite cookies. I rented our favorite movies, threw our favorite blankets in the dryer.

I sit in my bed thinking about this, about how I did so much for him all summer. Stayed with him, stayed true. Held him like an oath. What was I beginning to become to him? Nothing more than his other friends, it became clear.

“Y/n!” Knuckles hit my window, followed by the soft calling of my name. It was persistent, I was ready to yell at Jeremiah to go home.

The window was Conrad and I’s sacred space, in many ways. When we were younger, my parents were stricter. Too scared to let a boy so immature into my room. So each night, Conrad would climb the railing on the back deck until he was high enough to crawl up the garage roof. It was lower than the rest of the house, and ended just outside my window. He would tap very softly until I would turn on my light and rush over. We’d talk and talk and talk until our parents realized it would be safer to just let us be.

Now, Jeremiah came knocking more than Conrad. Always wanting to sneak out with Belly or Steven. Conrad slept in his bed, and if I didn’t come, he wouldn’t come retrieve me.

But, after all these weeks, there he was. Hair a mess and puffy eyes. He was sitting just outside my window like a dog with a bird at my door. Waiting for some praise.

“Con?” It was pathetic how quickly I unlatched the handle that kept the window stuck shut. So quick to let him in again.

His limbs were long and clumsy clanking through the small window frame. It took longer the more he grew. It was a harder fit. He was breathing heavily, hand on his chest, balled up in a fist. He looked bewildered, panicked.

From the uneven breathing and the rapid pace, along with the paleness growing more and more in his usually rather tanned skin, I knew it was more than fatigue.

“Conrad, hey, Conrad.” I knew him, deep down. Even if distant behavior couldn’t get rid of what I already knew. He could never erase us, or my ability to know him so well.

“Just talk, say anything. I just want…need to hear your voice, please.” He rushed, voice raised but not yet shouting fully. I knew he liked to be talked down from these attacks, he used to have some when he was growing up. I never really knew what to say, though. No matter how well I knew him, it felt different.

“About what?” I asked, my hands guiding him to my bed. The blue stripped sheets wrinkled under our weight, the white duvet tossed lazily at the foot of my bed.

“Anything. The beach.” He blurted out, eyes wide and staring back into mine. I couldn’t help but notice how the moon made them look even more blue. Just as deep and swimming in color. My hands were shaky, and my mind was racing. Suddenly, I was speaking.

“I think I like July the best.” I breathed, trying to remain calm. I let my hand slide off his shoulder and into his lap. My palm that rested on his thigh flipped only to show that he could take it if he wished to. I wouldn’t mind.

“June is great too. I like catching up with you, finally seeing you again. But the sand is the warmest in July. I love being able to know that. I love being able to walk next to you with my hands in my pockets one second and being thrown over your shoulder the next. I love when you race into the water in your nice clothes. How we swear to our parents we won’t do it again and we do. I love our traditions, I love that no matter how old we get we still do them. I love how you teach me everything you love so I can love it too. I love that nobody really knows about them but us.” I feel his hand now. His steady fingers intertwine with mine. His breathing has slowed juristically and his eyes have sunk back into the usual droopy state. But the moon still shines in his eyes the same, they still swim with color. I am still sotting next to Conrad.

“Talk to me.” I whisper in the silence. He squeezes my hand three times.

“What if things are never the same?” He won’t look at me, thats when I realize just how serious he is.

“What do you mean?” My thumb rubs against the back of his hand. His skin is warm and soft. I want to kiss it, make it better. Know him fully again.

“I’m already losing my mom, what if I lose you too?” And suddenly I know him. I see how his mothers obvious illness is affecting him, even if she won’t admit she’s sick again. He had to have known, which meant I did too. I can see how his father’s infidelity makes him blind with rage, and I see how anxiety eats away at his insides until he is nothing more than a once occupied space. Over his family, over me.

We both know he is leaving soon. Only going farther away from me. He’ll be in college and I will be a senior. Its in our nature to see the world differently as we grow. I see him thinking about Johnny and Brett. Wondering if we’ll have the same fate.

“You know me.” I remind him, then. I squeeze his hands three times, I remind him how much I love him. I’m afraid I’ll never stop. “And I’ll never forget you.” My hand leaves his to brush the hair out of his face. I let my palm rest against his wet cheek selfishly.

“How can you be certain?” His weight rested in the palm of my hand, skin being molded under the soft motion of my thumb against his cheek.

I paused, biting my tongue. I knew the answer, but I couldn’t find the words right away.

“When we’re old and have to leave the earth, I’ll still remember all I’ve learned. From you.” I felt him smile. His eyes scrunched up delicately, knocking the stray tears away from his eyes. They pooled around my hand. I let them lay. Still.

“I love you, always know that.” I reassured him, my gaze locked in his eyes. Stuck.

“I love you too. And I know, I know you.” Summer would always be summer as long as I had Conrad, and I knew he felt the same.

I knew him like no other. It was a scary reality, trusting someone with something so delicate, so special. But when that anxiety takes over I get to remind myself that its only Conrad. The boy who tossed a football over the fence and taught me how to be a kid.

I wonder if he threw it over on purpose.

[eyesofshinigami]

Take A Leap (Someone Will Catch You)

Rating: T

CW: None

Tags: Pre-relationship, Wayne POV, fluff, mentions of Eddie's bad parents, mentions of Steve's bad parents, Supportive Wayne Munson

Prompt: From @unclewaynemunson "Love is being terrified but not letting that stop you from taking a leap"

WC: 1742 (this one got away from me a little!)

Written for @steddielovemonth Day 3

Wayne knows his boy is a runner. It may not always look like his feet hitting the pavement, but it’s running just the same. Eddie runs away from his problems with a smirk and a joint, just as much as the sound of his tires squealing against the road. Wayne figures it’s why Eddie doesn’t try in school even though the boy is smart as a whip. It’s probably why he spends so much time noodling around on his guitar, or building the fantasy world that him and those kids get lost in for hours on end.

He doesn’t hold it against him, not one bit. Al Munson was the same, so was Lilah. Al ran from his responsibilities and ended himself up in prison, and Lilah ran away from the trouble Al brought her by curling up in the bottom of a whiskey bottle. It’s all they knew, all they’d been taught. That’s why Wayne didn’t bat an eye when Eddie ran away not long after he showed up on Wayne’s doorstep, small and angry and so full of hurt that Wayne thought he looked too much like an animal backed into a corner.

Wayne just had to show Eddie he wasn’t going to run. Eddie was his boy, the kid he never thought he’d had but he sure was glad he does now.

--

Wayne nearly fell out of his boots when he heard the story of what happened to Eddie, about how his boy stood up between the devil and his friends and he didn’t run. Not because he thought Eddie wasn’t capable of something like that, god knows the kid has heart too big for his chest, but Wayne’s still trying to wrap his head around the fact that it’s the Harrington kid telling him this story. The boy’s looking at Wayne with stars and pain in his eyes in equal parts as he tells Wayne exactly why Eddie’s lying in a hospital bed, looking like he was chewed up one side and down the other.

“Eddie’s the bravest guy I know, Mr. Munson. He didn’t deserve what happened to him, but don’t worry. Hopper and Dr Owens are going to take care of it all. You don’t have to worry about any of it.”

Harrington doesn’t look much better, the angry scar around his neck and the bandages wrapped around his torso where his scrub top creeps up. It makes Wayne angry, because as much as he’s not fond of Harrington Senior, there’s no reason this kid should look like this. Not to mention, his parents are notably absent and Harrington is just… hanging around in Eddie’s room.

It would make him wary, except he doesn’t miss the look in Harrington’s eye ever time he glances over at Eddie in the bed. There’s something there, but he can’t put his finger on it. It’ll come to him, he’s sure.

--

Eddie wakes up two days later, with Steve holding one hand and Wayne holding the other, and he looks like he’s confused. “Where the fuck am I?” he whispers, voice harsh and gritty.

“The hospital. I dragged your sorry ass out of the Upside Down. I told you not to be a hero, Munson,” Steve complains, but there’s no heat behind it. His fingers are curled around Eddie’s and Wayne can see the way the boy is shaking.

Eddie scoffs, but tucks his face into his shoulder. “Just taking a page out of your book, big boy. What can I say, I was inspired.”

Oh. Oh. Wayne knows that look. He’s seen Eddie lovesick before, even if his boy buried it under half-baked lyrics and hid it in those stories he writes. He doesn’t miss the way his cheeks pink and he bites his lip.

He’d almost worry, but he hasn’t missed the way Steve has sat by Eddie’s bedside, how he’s taken the time to talk Wayne through the mess of Hawkins and how Eddie got caught up in it. He’s seen the soft look on Steve’s face, the way his thumb traced over the skin of Eddie’s fingers as he held his hand tight.

“You’re an idiot.” Steve sounds so fond, it makes Wayne smile. He sees the moment their eyes meet, can practically see the hearts twirling around their heads like some kind of Looney Tunes cartoon.

But, he knows his boy. It’s why he’s not surprised when Eddie pulls back, starts to tuck into himself like a pill bug. He knows this look too, the one right before Eddie’s sprinting in the other direction. Steve must know it too, judging by the way his face falls and he starts to frown as he gets to his feet.

“I’m glad you’re awake, Eddie. I’m going to go check on Max, give you two some time to catch up.”  And with that, Steve’s out the door and Wayne sees the way Eddie’s face twists into something like a frown, like he’s in pain.

Wayne gives him all of one minute before he says, “Boy, I thought you were smarter than that.”

Eddie jolts. “What?”

Wayne lets out a sigh. “You heard me, boy. You’re gonna tell me that you stood between the devil and your friends and now you’re gonna lose that spine?” It’s none of his business, he’s sure, but Wayne sees it. He’s talked with Steve enough to know that some kind of seed between them has been planted, and he’s not going to let Eddie yank it up by the roots because of whatever idea he’s got in his head. It’s some kind of Munson curse, thinking that they don’t deserve the things they have so they find a way to run away from it. Eddie’s better than most, but Wayne’s not having it.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Eddie grumps, but the red in his cheeks gives him away. They stare at each other for a long moment until Eddie deflates. “It’s not like that, Wayne. He’s… not like that.” Not like me. “It could be something good, what we have. I don’t want to fuck it up by making it into something it’s not.”

Maybe, maybe not, but Wayne’s no fool. He’s seen the way Steve looks at Eddie, the tender way he touched him while he slept. The way that Steve slept hunched over Eddie’s bedside like some kind of sentinel, only leaving when Wayne told him to take a breather. Wayne’s never been a gambling man, but he’d put good money down on the fact that it appears mighty close to being like that.

“Boy, let me tell you something. Love is scary. Love is being so goddamn terrified but not letting that stop you from loving someone enough to take a leap. You love that racket you listen to even though no one else does. You love that game and those kids you play with even when you know it can make the roof crash down on your head. And it did.” Wayne pauses to give him a look. He wouldn’t push if he thought he was wrong. But he’s loved this kid since he showed on his doorstep, full of piss and vinegar, and he was terrified that he was going to fuck him up more than his daddy did because Wayne didn’t know anything about raising a kid. “And I’m telling you, I’d bet my last dollar bill that Harrington feels the same way you do right now, scared he was going to lose you and scared you don’t feel the way he does.” Steve had said as much, in not so many words, when he thought Wayne was sleeping one night. “You didn’t run from hell, kid. Don’t run from this either.”

He watches Eddie stare at him in shock. He almost feels like he needs to make sure he was speaking English, or whatever happened to Eddie hadn’t affected his brain at all. “He said that?” is what Eddie manages to say.

Wayne rolls his eyes. “He’s been here since before I got here. He hasn’t left your side but maybe a couple of times to go check on that Max girl from next door. If it ain’t love, kid, I don’t know what it is.”

Eddie looks like he wants to argue, but he chews on his lip instead. Good. Give the kid something to think about. “And if you’re worried about what I’m gonna think because you’re both boys, you can stop right here. Doesn’t matter to me what pieces and parts you have, as long as you’re good to each other.”

Eddie’s eyes fill with tears and he reaches up to pull his hair over his face, the way he’s done since he was eleven years old and overwhelmed with what Wayne tried to offer him. “Thanks, Wayne. I’ll… I’ll think about it.”

“See that you do. Now, tell me all about this guitar solo of yours. Steve couldn’t shut up about it.”

--

Wayne had stepped out for a smoke, taking a moment outside to breathe so he stopped feeling so trapped by the white walls of his boy’s hospital room. It’s a nice evening, the moon shining full. Steve had stopped by with some sort of casserole, courtesy of Dustin’s mama, and Eddie had squawked in pleasure and made grabby hands at the dish. Wayne took that as his cue to step out.

He crushes the butt beneath his boot and tucks it back into his pack of cigarettes. He lets out a sigh and starts heading back up the stairs towards Eddie’s room.

It’s quiet when he opens the door, starting when he realizes what he’s seeing. Both boys are fast asleep, curled around each other as much as they can with Eddie’s wires and cords still attached to his hand. Eddie’s tucked into Steve’s chest and Steve’s hair is wrapped tight into Eddie’s curls, still tucked between Eddie and the door like he’s a barrier so the world can’t get him. Their lips are both a bit pink and swollen, and Wayne would be a right fool if he couldn’t put two and two together. It makes him smile, knowing he was right. All they needed to do was take that leap.

He closes the door with a quiet click. He can come back in the morning. Steve’s got Eddie, and Eddie’s got Steve. And he hopes it’s for a long, long time.

[maiiuelle]

i need to know your opinion on stalker!jj because we always hear about rafe stalking you and on a full moon, once a month, the abyss throws out stalker!john b, but what about stalker!jj??

like the side of jj that was holding topper at gunpoint, the violent side of him that's jaded from being unloved all of his life, so when kook!reader prances into the pogues' lives along right behind sarah, acting all nice to him and having such a gentle demeanor, he's instantly all over her and he's the protective kind too, but he's delusional.

like he'll be all up in a guy's face for cat-calling you (it's your long-term boyfriend everybody knows about giving you a complement) OR OR he'd break into your house while you're sleeping and film himself sitting on your bedside table, jacking off with a stolen pair of your panties, with the camera panning from his cock to your sleeping face 😋

im sorry, i'm knee deep in a nutting over jj contest and so far, i fear, first place and runner up are both me 🏆

-🪻

i opened my drafts finally feeling inspired and THIS MASTERPIECE was there waiting for me.. in 🪻 anon we trust 🙌

yeah tbh normal rafe has stalker tendencies let’s be real 🙄🙄 he has your location and has showed up places to pick you up without any prior warning before. he says it’s ‘for your safety’ but in all realness he just likes to keep tabs on you throughout the day. i always think ab that scene with him and topper where he’s all “you’re spying on her?” 😡🤔 like judging because he’s tracking sarah — but then takes his phone to see where she is and literally pulls up 🧍‍♀️ my man is a hypocrite but i love him! :)

i. am. OBSESSED. with stalker!jj x kook!reader. sarah keeps bringing her best friend around, and naturally jj takes the bait. she’s just so innocent and sheltered! it’s not his fault he wants to defend that, especially when you’re so sweet to him. nobody really gives jj the time of day, but now you’re sitting on his lap, dragging your fancy acrylic nails down his sunburnt neck, and bringing him beer in your cute little tennis skirts? no doubt he’s locking you down and throwing away the key.

[cosmorugs]

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[sumuraj]

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[snehalpatel]

[prettyinpurplelights]

V.

This song is literally this whole series summed up give it a listen if you’d like x

It was your first full day off in a few weeks where you hadn’t a single thing to do and you were very glad there was no obligation to get out of bed before noon. Louis Vuitton had thrown you straight into the deep end, since they knew you were capable from your past experience with them during your internship. This meant countless meetings and store visits, as well as fittings and shoots. You were grateful that they immediately put you so far up the ladder in terms of responsibility, thankful for the fact you weren’t just the coffee runner, but it had been extremely tiring to say the least. You’d finally gotten the hang of it now, finding a way to balance everything so you weren’t running around like a headless chicken, and you wouldn’t have to leave your house seven days a week in order to get all your work done before the deadlines. However, the process of doing so had stretched you thin. Pairing that with the fact you and Mia had to unpack, decorate and go furniture shopping amongst other things had worn you out completely. Kylian and Elliot had been really helpful though, doing all the heavy lifting and assembling so you and Mia could focus on reducing the number of cardboard boxes crowding your apartment to zero. Sometime earlier in the week, you had crushed your last cardboard box under your feet, you and Mia throwing it into the recycling chute ceremonially as you could finally say that you were officially Parisians. It made your lie in today that much sweeter, knowing that you could stay in bed all day if you wanted to, since there was absolutely nothing waiting for you to do once you decided to get out of it.

So when your phone rang at 8am, you completely ignored it, burrowing further into the thick quilt as you brought it around your chin. It rang again a minute later and you still refused to acknowledge it, whoever it was would just have to wait until you felt like being sociable. You scooted over, nearer to your bedside table, to pick up the device and put it on do not disturb when it pinged, a text flashing at the top of the screen just before you could.

Y/N pick up the phone please!! Emergency! 😩🙏🏿

Are you dying? You typed out quickly, rolling your eyes.

No.

Is your apartment on fire?

No.

Did you lose your job?

What?? No.

Then leave me the fuck alone to sleep Kylian.

Please, I need your help. I’m gonna call again, please answer 🥺

Of course, if anyone had to be inconsiderate and spoil your perfect plan of being lazy today, it was going to be him. You picked up on the third ring, holding the phone to your ear as you moved to roll onto your back. You stared at the ceiling, trying to come up with ways of torturing Kylian for ruining your day and waking you up before noon.

“Hello, Y/N. Good morning. How are you?” You could hear the hesitancy in his voice as he spoke, nervous; you could tell because he was speaking so formally. It was kind of funny, and if you weren’t slightly pissed at him, you’d laugh because you knew he was scared about how you’d react to him waking you up. He knew you weren’t a morning person so he’d have to have a pretty good reason as to why he was calling this early. You don’t give an answer to his question, just to get under his skin a little more and also because you were halfway conscious, your brain still hadn’t fully woken up yet.

“You’re going to make me work for it huh?” He said after realising you weren’t going to say a word.

“Hmm.” You replied.

“Yeah you know what, lemme just cut to it, I’m really sorry to wake you up so early, I know it’s your off day. But I really need your help. Please.”

“And you couldn’t ask anyone else?”

“Achraf’s taken his boys to Disneyland, Elliot’s got some sort of training course today and Ethan’s a little shit who said no before I’d even asked.”

“And what makes you think I’m going to say yes to whatever you’re going to say next?”

“Because you love kids? And you love me?”

“Spit it out Ky.”

“Jirés is literally on his way right now to drop off Isayah and Lana, he asked me to watch them for the day last week and I completely forgot that it’s actually today. I need your help to entertain them, I don’t know what I’m going to do with them for a whole entire day.” He groaned; he sounded very stressed out and in that moment, you sort of felt bad for him.

“You’re so lucky your niece and nephew are two of the most adorable kids in the world.” You heard him release the breath you didn’t realise he was holding, letting out a huge sigh.

“I owe you Y/N.”

“Big fucking time.”

“I’ll be there within the hour.” You hung up, dropping the phone on the bed and you sighed loudly yourself. You dragged your body out of bed into the shower, the piping hot water helping you to wake up and feel a little less tired. You decided to wear your baby blue Juicy co-ord tracksuit, something you could move around freely in just in case Isayah and Lana were not the type of kids who liked to sit around doing nothing. You hadn’t seen them since they were born, which was quite a few years ago, so you’re not even sure they’d remember you. You were just finishing up your mug of tea when you heard a knock at the door.

“Hey!” You smiled, opening the door to see Kylian with Lana standing behind him, her arm wrapped around his thigh as she peeked shyly around his leg. Isayah stood by his side, Kylian hand resting on his shoulder.

“Come on guys,” he ushered them into your apartment, mouthing a thank you as you closed the door behind them. They had made their way to the sofa in your living room, perched on the edge, their little legs barely touching the floor. You squatted so you were eye level with them.

“You guys probably don’t remember me, my name is Y/N, I met you when you were tiny little babies.”

“She’s Elliot’s sister.” Kylian added and Isayah smiled at you, now he knew you were linked to two people he liked, you couldn’t be too bad of a person. But Lana still looked slightly scared of you, and you didn’t blame her, you were technically a complete stranger. You noticed she was carrying a small blue unicorn teddy, and an idea came to mind.

“Do you like unicorns Lana?” You asked gently and she nodded, the ghost of a smile flashing across her face.

“Me too! What’s your unicorn’s name?”

“Lola.” She spoke softly.

“That’s a lovely name. I have a unicorn too, his name is Twilight. Do you and Lola want to meet him?”

She nodded again, more eagerly this time and your heart swelled a little, glad she was warming up to you more now.

“I’ll go and get him.”

“Isayah, stay with your sister, I’ll be back.” You heard Kylian say before his steps grew louder as he entered the room with you.

“You still have Twilight?” He asked as he flopped back first onto your bed, grabbing the teddy from behind his head and throwing it to you.

You caught the toy, fond memories of your childhood coming back to you as you ran your hand over the soft black fur.

“He’s my best friend, I can never get rid of him.”

“Y/N he’s like a billion years old, you’ve had him since I’ve known you.” He laughed, shuffling further up the mattress so he was lying down completely now.

“What’s that got to do with anything?” You stretched your free arm towards him, shoving his leg. “And get your nasty shoes off my bed.”

He angled himself so his feet dangled off the bed instead, his arms bent at a right angle as he used his elbows to support his weight while he sat up slightly.

“Half his rhinestones are missing, his horn is more grey than it is white, you don’t think it’s time to get rid of him?”

You gasped dramatically, your hands coming to cover Twilight’s ears as you frowned at Kylian playfully.

“Don’t listen to him Twilight. Ky is just jealous because you’re my number one guy.”

“I’m not jealous of a stuffed unicorn, be fucking serious.” He rolled his eyes. “Twilight can’t do half the things I can do.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

You honestly hadn’t meant for the question to sound suggestive, at all but from the way Kylian was looking at you, chin slightly raised, his eyes almost as if they were closed so you could only see the dark of his pupils, and a smirk on his lips so small you were probably imagining it, you wondered if perhaps it had come out more suggestive than you had intended. You’d been spending a lot of time together recently since you’d moved to Paris, and in good fashion, as your heart liked to toy with you from time to time, your feelings for him had arisen again causing a problem for you. It had been so much easier when you were at opposite ends of the country, and barely talked and you had your own boyfriend to distract you and keep your mind off of Kylian and his stupid pouty lips and his mischievous eyes and ridiculously large thighs, his boyish smile with those goddamn dimples and goofy nature and the way he seemed to know what you were thinking before you did. To be honest, most of the time you spent with him, Mia and Elliot were there also, a buffer you were very grateful for, but even in those moments, there were times when it felt like it was just the two of you alone. Times when you’d feel the burn of Kylian’s gaze on the back of your neck, or his hand lingering a little too long when they accidentally brushed along your waist, his hugs a bit tighter than you’d remembered them to be in the 16 or so years you’ve known him. You didn’t want to think anything of it, for all you knew, he and Renée were still dating. They hadn’t been spotted for a while in public but that didn’t mean they weren’t still together, just low-key. Since he may have suggested they had gotten back together after your graduation, you hadn’t asked him anything further about it, she wasn’t a topic the both of you frequented, ever. You tended to steer clear of any relationship talk since he had Elliot for that and you, Mia. And frankly, you personally didn’t want to hear anything about it either. You were probably imagining the tension and misconstruing Kylian’s intentions, hence why you tried to avoid spending any time alone with him for too long, fearing one of these days, your heart will win over your head and you’ll do something the both of you would regret.

Again.

“Have you guys eaten?” You asked, desperate to change the conversation and hoping he didn’t notice.

“Nah,” He shrugged, standing up and walking over to you. “I was going to take them to McDonald’s for breakfast.”

“Kylian, you can’t take them to McDonald’s at 9 in the morning.”

“Why not?”

He rounded the bed, almost directly in front of you and you bolted for the door instead, mumbling something about showing Twilight to Lana. The room had gotten stuffier the closer he got to you, the walls were beginning to close in and you felt you had to escape, quickly. You’re starting to regret the day already, not knowing how much longer you can survive spending time alone with him. Entering the living room, you held out the toy in front of you, Lana eyes growing wide as she smiled.

“Twilight, meet Lana and Lola.” You handed the toy to the little girl and she seemed so pleased, you were glad you could make her that little bit more comfortable around you.

“Jirés said she’s been grumpy all week because she’s missing Melissa. Even seeing me this morning couldn’t get her to smile like that.” Kylian suddenly appeared next to you, his warm breath brushing your ear as he whispered. You jumped, squealing as you punched his arm mid-sentence, moving back from him.

“You know I hate being creeped up on.” You tried your best to ignore the heat rising up towards your cheeks, willing them to go back down. Maybe they could burn the butterflies fluttering around in your stomach instead.

“Sorry. Just can’t believe she’s happier seeing that toy more than she was seeing me.”

“Twilight 2, Kyky 0.” You smirked.

“Shut the fu-“ He stopped himself looking down at Lana and Isayah who were conversing amongst themselves, not paying him any attention at all. “Just shut up.”

“Hmmm, I was going to say we make pancakes for breakfast but since you want to be so rude, you can get none.”

You crouched down in front of the two young children again, grabbing their attention.

“What do you think guys, should we make some pancakes and give none to Kylian?” They laughed and nodded excitedly.

“Lana? Isayah? You’re going to leave me out like that?” Kylian clutched his chest, feigning hurt and he stumbled backwards, making his niece and nephew laugh even harder.

“Maybe you can have one.” Lana said.

“Just one?” Kylian wiggled his fingers in front of them, slowly sneaking up on them like the grinch. They knew what was coming, and jumped up on the sofa, cowering away from him in one of the corners. “Maybe if I tickle you, it’ll change your mind.” He added, before leaping on them. The sound of their sweet childish laughters filled the room as Kylian tickled them mercilessly.

“Uncle Kyky, wait!! Please.” They tried but he carried on, and you watched on fondly. He was a good uncle to them, he would talk to you about his niece and nephew often, you felt like you knew them personally too. You knew he was very protective over them, and loved them a lot, and it was nice to see how much they adored and trusted him also.

Kylian would make a great dad, you were thinking, an alternate perfect life playing out in your head where the both of you were completely honest with each other, and from that honesty, the birth of a relationship, one that progressed naturally and ended up with you and him and your kids, a dog, white picket fence, the works. You were totally lost in your thoughts that you didn’t realise the noise had stopped and the three of them were now looking at you.

“Uhh…what’s going on?” You asked, blinking away your silly pipe dreams, your wishful thoughts disappearing in an invisible cloud of wistful smoke.

“Well Lana mentioned not giving me any pancakes was actually your idea,” Kylian started, rising from the sofa. “So, I think we have to tickle you too.”

“Oh…” You backed up, towards the door, as Kylian and his niece and nephew neared you. “Guys…oh come on. Lana?? I thought we were friends!”

She giggled, shrugging her shoulders.

“Get her!” Isayah shouted before all three of them charged at you, giving you barely any time to escape to the kitchen. There must be something in the Mbappé family because they were all so fast, catching up to you in no time, Isayah and Lana tickling your sides while Kylian held your arms together so you couldn’t fight them off.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” You half pleaded, although it didn’t sound very genuine because you couldn’t control your laughter.

“What do you think guys, should we stop?” Kylian looked down at them after a few minutes of their tickling assault, and they nodded.

“My arms are tired now anyways.” Isayah said.

“And I wanna play with Lola and Twilight, come Isayah.” Lana took his hand and dragged him out of the kitchen, leaving you and Kylian alone. He watched them turn the corner into your lounge before spinning his head around again to look you straight in the eye. There was a shift in the atmosphere, the playful vibe disappearing entirely, a more serious one replacing it as his eyes stayed fixed on yours. Holding eye contact is something that always made you nervous, you could only maintain it for a few seconds before you had to look away, and with someone like Kylian, the butterflies that fluttered into existence when his eyes bore into yours made it so much harder. Your eyes fell from his, and only then did you notice his hands were still wrapped around your wrists.

“Ky.”

“Hmm?” You could still feel his eyes on you and you wished you could free your hands to cover your face, it felt so hot, you wondered if he could feel the heat radiating from your cheeks, since his face was hardly a few centimetres from yours, his body practically leaning against yours.

“My hands.” He had them trapped either side of you in his tight grip and there was no way you were getting free unless he loosened them.

“Why do you run away whenever we’re alone together?” Your head snapped up, your eyes meeting again as your brain processed his question.

Shit, he noticed?

“You didn’t think I’d notice?” He asked, reading your thoughts as though you’d pasted them on your forehead in big bright neon letters. You needed him to get out of your head. Out of your heart, your thoughts, your very being.

“W…what?” It all felt too close and intimate, there was barely an inch of space between the two of you, so your words came out in small hushed tones, although you felt like you needed to shout, because there was no way he could possibly hear you over the thunderous beating of your heart.

“You bolted earlier, in your bedroom.” His hands were still around yours, his palm burning against the skin of your wrists, almost as though he was branding you. Funny that, because according to the imprint he’d made on your heart you’d been unable to rid yourself off for the last decade, you'd basically been branded his since you were 11.

“Ky, let go of me, please.”

He wasn’t actually hurting you, but this whole thing was making you uncomfortable, you didn’t want to admit anything to him, you wanted an out, a change of subject, fast.

“Answer my question Y/N.”

“We have to make breakfast-“

“You’re deflecting.”

“Kylian we had dinner a few weeks ago alone, I didn’t go anywhere.”

“You’ve been shying away from me since then.” He kept pressing, it didn’t seem like he was going to let you go anytime soon. You prayed for a distraction of some sort, something, someone to get you out of this.

“If I was avoiding you, I would’ve hung up on you this morning. We wouldn’t be here together right now.”

“Y/N if I wasn’t holding onto you right now, you’d have been out of that door.”

He was absolutely right, and you were surprised he’d noticed your behaviour around him recently, you thought you’d been quite subtle with it.

“Uncle Kyky?”

You had opened your mouth to feed him another obvious lie, when Isayah walked into the kitchen, and you closed your eyes, silently thanking the gods for answering your prayer. Kylian turned to face him, and you managed to free yourself from his grasp while he was distracted by Isayah, grateful to the little boy for his perfect timing.

“When are we gonna make the pancakes, we’re hungry.” He pouted.

“Go and get Lana, we’ll do it now.”

“Yes!” Isayah leapt up with his fist in the air before running out of the kitchen again, yelling Lana’s name.

You busied yourself with getting out a mixing bowl and a frying pan for the pancakes purposely; they were at the other end of the kitchen, far from Kylian so you could pretend you couldn’t feel his gaze practically burning holes in the back of your zip-up hoodie. You were surprised you didn’t spontaneously burst into flames. It was silent apart from the clatter of your pots and pans as you pulled out the frying pan and got to work preparing breakfast. You didn’t look at Kylian once as you told him where to find specific ingredients, ignored the fluttering in your stomach when his hand lingered on top of yours when he passed you the milk from the fridge. You focused on Isayah and Lana, helping them to mix everything and flip the pancakes, Kylian watching on affectionately, you completely unaware as you thought he was staying away for a completely different reason. He eventually joined in, and the atmosphere had gone back to the playful one as the four of you decorated your pancakes with fruit and syrup and tons of whipped cream. Surprisingly, the kids had managed to not mess themselves up too much, and had now ran back to the living room again to carry on playing, leaving you and Kylian to clear up alone, again.

“What did you have in mind to do with them today?” You asked, quick to start a conversation, focus the topic on the day instead, leaving no room for Kylian to bring up anything else.

“I’m not too sure, I was thinking the zoo?”

“Oh my gosh!” You leapt up, thinking of something to do and getting a little too excited about it, startling Kylian.

“Jesus Y/N, I almost dropped the mixing bowl.”

“Sorry! But I just got an idea, you remember that farm yemma used to take us to? The one where you get to ride on the horses!”

“And Elliot fell in that pile of horse shit!” He remembered, laughing as the memory replayed in his mind.

“That was hilarious, he was so mad we refused to walk with him the rest of the tour.” You laughed together for a while at the thought of 7 year old Elliot covered in manure. He was so angry that day because you and Kylian kept cracking jokes.

“What do you think? Isayah and Lana would love that right?” You asked once the both of you had calmed down. He cocked his head towards the door and smiled.

“Why don’t you go and find out?”

—————-

“This is so cool! Uncle Kyky I’m a cowboy!” Isayah shouted, grinning as he rode the horse around the large pen, his long fluffy curls blowing about his face as he waved his hands in the air. Kylian looked at him through the camera, taking a video to later send to Jirés (and keep for himself also).

“Yeehaw!” Kylian yelled, causing Isayah to break out into fits of giggles before he shouted it back. You had just returned from feeding and petting the chicks with Lana’s hand in yours. After hours touring the entire farm, Isayah had wanted to try the horse riding but for Lana, they were too big, and gave her quite the fright, so you offered to do something else with her which she would be more comfortable with, and you’d both had a great time with the chicks.

“He’s really enjoying that isn’t he?” You asked as you joined Kylian outside the pen, standing by his right side.

“Having the time of his life.” He smiled at you before looking down at Lana.

“Woaaah what are you wearing Lana?”

“You like it?” She took the lollipop out of her mouth to smile a toothless grin, showing off her yellow chick beanie you’d gotten her from the gift shop after she’d begged you to. You couldn’t say no to her, she was just too cute so you’d bought it for her, the both of you picking out a tractor for Isayah also.

“I love it, you look very pretty cherie.”

“We got you one too Uncle Kyky! Surprise!” Lana pulled her hand from behind her, revealing a beanie exactly like the one on her head, but in a bright shade of red instead.

“Oh! Nice!” You sniggered at Kylian’s very fake enthusiastic response under your breath, as he took the hat from his niece and pulled it over his head. You took your green one out of your pocket and wore it too.

“Y/N, these are hideous.” He whispered to you, low so Lana couldn’t hear you, his eyes still trained on Ishaya as he was nearing the end of his ride. The little girl had long let go of your hand, busy trying to climb the wooden fence of the pen so she could hang on with her two feet resting on the lower plank as she watched her brother.

“I know, but she was so excited about all of us matching.”

“So this is your fault.”

“Really? We’re doing this again?” You stepped back from him so you could look at him fully, raising your eyebrow. What you didn’t expect was for Kylian’s hand to find it way to the small of your back, pulling you towards him so his lips could hover near your ear.

“I don’t think tickling will cut it this time, I might have to find some other way to punish you.” You couldn’t help the way your knees buckled slightly at his words, he was like a hot grill, you were a mere cube of ice, put the ice anywhere near that grill and it was bound to melt, a perfectly normal and expected reaction.

“Ky come on.” You tried to reason with him, your head begging you to find the strength to fight your heart and body which wanted nothing more than to lean even more into his touch and flirt back.

“What?” He widened his eyes and shrugged his shoulders, feigning innocence while his hand had still not left the dip just above your butt, neither had he made any move to put some space between the two of you.

“You know what you’re doing, you can’t…I cant…you have a gir-“ The words that were struggling to leave your mouth were suddenly cut off by Isayah running towards the three of you, having finally finished his ride.

“Y/N! Did you see me??” You pulled yourself away from Kylian hurriedly, as though you’d been caught by your parents with his hand down the front of your jeans. You tugged the gate open so Isayah could come out of the pen; he was bouncing up and down excitedly.

“Of course little man, you were like a cowboy! Did you enjoy yourself?”

“It was so fun!”

“And look, Lana and I got you a tractor and a hat like ours so we can all match!” You smiled as Isayah pulled the green hat over his head.

“Can I go on the horse again?”

“Maybe next time, it’s getting late and we have a long drive back home eh?” Kylian said as he fell into step with you, Lana and Isayah, heading towards where you’d parked the car.

“Promise?” Isayah pouted.

“Promise.” Kylian held out his hand, and Ishaya took it, the both of them doing some sort of secret handshake before he lifted the little boy off the ground and put him on his shoulders.

“Isayah you’re riding Uncle Kyky now!” Lana laughed, and you pulled out your phone to capture the moment quickly, all of you with your matching hats and equally matching smiles. You picked Lana up, settling her on your hip so she was at a similar height to you all, allowing her to fit into the picture as you flipped into selfie mode and held your phone up and took the pictures.

“Send that to me later.”

“Hmmm mm.” You replied to Kylian, scrolling through the pictures you’d just snapped.

“Beautiful family!” You hadn’t even seen the older lady appear in front you, her hands clasped to the side of her face as she beamed at the four of you.

“Your husband no?” She pointed to Kylian before cupping her hand over her mouth to whisper to you, although it was definitely loud enough for him to hear too, likely deliberate on her part. “Very handsome.”

“Uh, thank you.” You laughed nervously, not sure how to react so you just let her believe it, hoping she’d be satisfied enough and be on her way.

“Here take, for the pretty girls.” She pulled two flowers out of the basket she was holding, placing one behind yours and Lana’s ear.

“What do you say Lana?” Kylian prompted, and the girl laid her head on your shoulder shyly, before saying thank you.

“Of course. Have a good evening.”

“Thank you, you too.” You replied before she went back on her way.

“Uncle Kyky are you and Y/N like mummy and daddy?” Isayah asked as Kylian was helping him to settle into his seat in the car.

“Hmm?”

“That lady, she said husband. People call daddy mummy’s husband sometimes too.” You had just strapped Lana into her car seat and were about to slip into the passenger seat yourself when you heard his question, your breath catching in your throat as you started to cough. Kylian’s eyes met yours in the mirror above the dashboard as you tried to control your coughing.

“Uh, no, Y/N and I are not like your parents. Now come on, let me buckle you in so we can hurry. Who wants McDonald’s on the way home?”

“ME! ME! ME!” Isayah and Lana sang in unison, his query long forgotten at the mention of a potential Happy Meal and you were grateful for the change of subject once again. As much as you’d enjoyed yourself today, especially with Kylian’s niece and nephew, you couldn’t wait for the day to finally be over, to be back home in your own bed and hopefully not think at all about the other things that transpired today. Kylian slid into the driver’s seat and you purposely avoided his eyes, choosing to look out of the window instead as he pulled out of the parking lot onto the winding country roads.

——-

“Y/N.” You felt a hand on your shoulder, rocking you gently, the voice accompanying it just as soft. “Y/N, wake up.”

“Hmmm.” You groaned as you stirred, rubbing your eyes. You didn’t even realise you’d fallen asleep, lifting your head from the car window, a dull ache in your neck due to your awkward position.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“No, it’s okay,” Kylian reassured you. “You seemed really tired, even Jirés didn’t want to wake you when he picked the kids up.”

“Oh they’re gone already?” You turned your head and sure enough, the back seats were completely empty. “I didn’t even get to say bye.” You pouted.

“They fell asleep too. There was no point in waking either of you, Jirés was already here waiting for them.”

“Here…” You finally took in your surroundings, registering the fact you weren’t even in your neighbourhood, let alone outside your apartment.

“We’re uh, we’re outside my apartment.” Kylian said, answering your silent question. “I kinda wanted to ask you something?”

You turned to face him. His eyebrows were scrunched and his nose was twitching, you could tell he was trying his best to not show he was nervous. You wondered what was on his mind.

“Uh…so the nominees for this year’s Ballon d’or get released soon, and I was wondering if you’d um, want to come up with me and um, I don’t know, stay with me until they’re out?”

You don’t think you’ve ever seen him look this terrified, considering he had been nominated for the award four times before already, climbing higher and higher on the list with each passing year. But maybe there was something different about this year, you didn’t know, you weren’t really a big football fan, you didn’t follow Kylian’s career closely. Of course you supported him unconditionally, and had been to a couple of his games, but the rules and everything about the game went straight over your head, relying mainly on Elliot and Google to give you updates. Now in this moment, he was seeking your support, and you didn’t want to let him down, despite not having a good feeling about the two of you being alone together with absolutely no one to provide a distraction should you need one.

“Come on,” You opened the car door, stepping out and shutting it as you walked around the vehicle to stand in front of the glass doors leading to the lobby. “Let's go up.”

He smiled at you, a warm and genuine smile, handing his keys to the valet as you both made your way up to his apartment. The ride in the elevator was silent, it wasn’t awkward, but it wasn’t wasn’t awkward. You were glad to finally make it to his apartment.

“What time are the nominees released?” You asked kicking your shoes off at the door.

“8:30.”

You pulled your phone out and checked the time, settling on his sofa. You’d only been here once since you moved to Paris, very briefly with Mia and Elliot; the four of you tended to hang out at Elliot’s place most of the time.

“Okay so five minutes.”

“You want a glass of wine?” Kylian appeared at the entrance to the lounge, a dark green bottle in his hand.

“Red? You hate red wine.”

“I know, but you like it.”

“So you just have red wine lying around? For me?”

He shrugged as if it was a completely normal thing to do, have things in your house that you’re always in, but you don’t like for someone else who has only been here once.

“I also have those frozen kimchi gyozas you like if you’re hungry.”

“You said they taste like rubber.”

“They do, I much prefer them fresh. But you seem to like them so much.”

“Do you also have-“

“Milky bars and Oreo’s in the pantry even though both things are completely disgusting. And Ben & Jerry’s Vanilla Pecan Blondie in my freezer, though I still can’t understand why you want to mix nuts and ice-cream.”

You were at a loss of words, wondering why he had kept all these things in his apartment when you had only been there once.

“Kylian…” You started, but didn’t know how to finish your sentence. You weren’t sure what words should follow, what you should say to him, how to say it to him. He scratched the back of his neck, as he set the bottle on the coffee table in front of you, coming to sit down on the other end of the couch.

“It’s not that deep Y/N, don’t make a big deal of it.” He mumbled, and you suddenly felt a bit stupid for thinking it had a deeper meaning. Friends do stuff like this for each other all the time, clearly.

“Right. Yeah.” You tried not to sound too deflated, leaning across onto the table to grab your phone instead, to remind you of why you’re really in his apartment.

“It’s 8:30. Let’s just get through this huh?”

“Okay,” He nodded, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, completely ignoring the change in your tone of voice. You googled the Ballon D’or nominees for 2022, clicking on the first article that came up, posted a few seconds ago. You read through the list of names listed in alphabetical order slowly as you scrolled, getting closer to the section labelled “M” when you saw his name, and despite how you were feeling towards him at that moment in time, you couldn’t help the excited squeal that left your lips.

“Good squeal?” He opened one eye, peering at you.

“KY YOU MADE THE LIST!” You couldn’t help yourself again, you jumped into his arms, yours wrapping around his shoulders as you could feel his smile grow wider along your neck. He held you so tight, whispering “oh my god” as if he couldn’t believe it himself.

“This is your year Ky, I’m so proud of you.” You pulled away smiling at him, as his eyes bore into yours.

You could’ve been staring at each other for 10 minutes or 10 years, you hadn’t a clue, all you knew is one minute your eyes were fixed on each other and the next, Kylian’s lips were fixed on yours. It came so fast and hard, you hadn’t expected it at all, his mouth swallowing your gasp as his hands caged your face. Your head lost the battle this time, your heart and body rejoicing as you chose to lean into him instead of push him away, causing him to lie back on the sofa so your legs were straddling him, your body flush on top of his. His hands ran down your back and around your side to find the zip of your hoodie, pulling it down so you could free yourself from it. You leaned back, pulling both the hoodie and the tank top you were wearing over your head and onto the floor. Kylian got rid of his t-shirt too, his toned chest rising and falling with heavy breaths as he watched you hover above him with eyes glazed over with lust and lips slightly swollen. His hands then gripped onto your bare waist, setting your body on fire as he sat up, one of his arms wrapping around your back. Your lips were back on each others in an instant, the kiss hot and heavy as he pushed his tongue into your mouth and you gladly welcomed him, the pads of your fingers gripping onto the skin behind his head. Your hips rotated involuntarily and you felt his grunt in the back of your throat as he bit your lip.

“Fuck…Y/N.”

You pulled your lips apart with a pop, leaning your forehead against his as you continued your movements, unable to get enough of him. He pushed down on your hips, so you could feel him more through your trousers, and you couldn’t help the loud moan that left you, the added pressure turning your insides to mush.

“You’re going to kill me.” He whispered through ragged breaths, his lips dancing along your neck. “I need you.”

You don’t know what switched but you suddenly remembered where you were, and who you were with, like someone had poured a barrel of water over you. You came to your senses, and you jumped from his embrace, knocking back into coffee table and almost falling over, but Kylian managed to catch you last minute, his arms wrapping around your waist.

“Jesus Y/N are you trying to split your head open on my table?” He tried to pull you back towards him but you peeled his arms away, stepping back.

“Y/N? Did I do something wrong?” He reached out for you again and you shook your head, your arms coming to cover your chest.

“Kylian you have a girlfriend.”

“I have a what?”

“God, we shouldn’t have done that. I’m gonna go.” You bent to pick up your tank top but he grabbed onto the other end, so now it was taut between the two of you as he wasn’t letting go.

“Kylian stop it.”

“Y/N stop it.” He mimicked you, but there wasn’t a smirk or anything playful about his reply. He looked very serious.

“I’m not playing games Ky, you have a fucking girlfriend what’s not clicking?”

“We broke up.”

“And you’ll get back together tomorrow. It wouldn’t be the first time.”

“No we won't, I haven't spoken to her in 2 weeks.”

“That hasn’t stopped you before. You’ve been broken up like 6 times. Or maybe the media lies.”

“You keep tabs on my relationships?” He smirked this time and you wanted to reach over and pull his lips right off his face, you had no idea how he managed to find the humour in this situation when it absolutely wasn’t funny in the slightest.

“I’m not doing this again with you Kylian. Give me back my top, please.” You ignored his comment, pissed that he somehow found this funny, when you infact felt kind of sick about it. You don’t regret kissing him, but you absolutely didn’t want to feel like you were getting in the way of something or being the other woman or just another rebound.

“Renee and I are done for good Y/N.” You were still rooted to your spot, unsure of whether to believe him or not. You’d been in this position before, one where you’d let yourself be vulnerable for him but he had your heart ripped out of your chest and left it in tatters right in front of you anyway.

“I’m not going to hurt you again, I promise.” He said again when he noticed you still hadn’t moved towards him, stepping closer to you. You didn’t move back from him or walk away either, so he took it as permission to close in around you, his hands taking yours as he brought it to his lips.

“I want you. I always have.” You still refused to look at him so he released one of your hands, holding your chin between his forefinger and thumb instead as he lifted your face so you had no choice but to meet his eyes.

“I can’t even begin to explain when but it’s always been you Y/N.” His voice was lower now but it felt like he was screaming it, it was so silent in the room. Apart from his hushed voice, all you could hear were your breaths and rapidly beating heart.

His eyes seemed genuine, they were soft, and searching yours, waiting for an answer.

“Ky…” You were scared, scared to give your heart again to someone who had already possessed it for so long and brought you so much pain without even realising it. Who knows what he could do now he knows he actually has it, right there in the palm of his hand.

“I know.” He responded, reading your thoughts like you’d projected them on the jumbotron. It made you wonder, how all of these years, you’d both gotten it so wrong, especially him, knowing you as well as he did.

“But I’m here now.” His hand skimmed your face, stopping on the left side where his thumb stroked gently along the angle of your cheekbone.

“We have so much to talk about.” You whispered.

“Do you want to talk right now?” You didn’t even know when but his face had gradually gravitated towards yours, so much so that his lips brushed against yours lightly with every word he spoke. So much had happened between the two of you over the course of your friendship, so many unspoken words and half finished sentences that you really needed to fucking finish, but right now in this moment, it felt like it didn’t matter, that bridge could be crossed tomorrow, you just wanted him, to finally have him.

Yours.

You shook your head.

“Kiss me Kylian.”

————

You awoke the next morning to the feeling of kisses being pressed into your neck, Kylian’s arms wrapped around your midriff tightly.

“Do you not know how to sleep past 8am?” You groaned, spinning in his arms so you were now facing him, your eyes fluttering open as he lifted his head, moving from your neck so you were both looking at each other.

“To be honest, this is probably the best sleep I’ve had in months. You should sleep over more often.”

“Maybe I’ll sleep on the couch next time.”

“It’s big enough for the both of us.”

“Who said you’d be joining me?” You teased, a small smile on your lips. He flung his leg over yours as he shifted to lie on top of you, his entire body weight resting against yours as he clung unto you.

“You’re never getting rid of me Y/N.” He said with his face buried in your neck as his arms wrapped around your shoulders.

“Get off me you big baby, I can’t breathe.” You pushed against his bare shoulders with your hands and he lifted his body so he was leaning on his palms, which were either side of your head as his eyes met yours.

“Good morning.” He mumbled, his eyes flicking down towards your lips before he looked back up at you.

“Good morning.” You whispered back, barely able to get the words out as his lips fell onto yours, brief but very sweet. You felt like you could kiss him all day. You were about to chase his lips with yours when he pulled away but you were interrupted by the loud grumble of his stomach.

“Someone’s hungry.” You laughed, Kylian rolling off you as you sat up.

“Well someone wore me out last night. Didn’t know you were so insatiable Y/N.”

You blushed, bringing the quilt up to cover your cheeks as they heated up.

“Don’t be shy, that wasn’t a complaint.” He leaned over to kiss your cheek before standing up from the bed, walking over to his wardrobe.

“I’m going to go and get us some croissants and coffee from the bakery across from the street.” He added, pulling some clothes out of the closet and putting them on. Your head was resting against the cushioned headboard as you watched him, his back flexing when he pushed his arms through his jumper. He caught you watching in the mirror in front of him with your bottom lip between your teeth and he smirked.

“Like what you see?” You made eye contact through the mirror and there was a brief moment of silence before you tore your eyes away, unable to hold his for any longer as you felt a knot in your stomach starting to tie. You picked up the pillow behind your head instead, throwing it at him, the tension in the room lifting slightly, the both of you laughing as it bounced off the back of his head.

“Shut up.” You muttered as he walked back over to you.

“I’ll be very quick. Make yourself at home.”

“I’m gonna get dressed anyways, I have to leave soon, I gotta be at work in a couple of hours.” His lips instantly turned up into a pout, hating the thought of you leaving so soon. Your eyes zeroed in on his lips, the pinkness and puffiness of them looking incredibly inviting.

“You can’t call in sick?”

You were itching desperately to kiss him again.

“Hello? Y/N?” You didn’t even realise you’d zoned out until he was clicking his fingers in your face, a smile on his lips as you blinked and shook your head.

“Sorry, what did you say?” You asked.

“First my back and arms, now my lips, I'm starting to think you only see me as a piece of lean, sexy, brown skinned meat just for your pleasure.”

“You want me to bring up what you said to me last night, when my leg was over your shoulder and you were bal-?”

“Alright, alright, I get it. Touché. Let’s move on huh?” He interrupted, laughing as you nodded in agreement.

“Sounds like a great idea. So you were saying?”

“I was asking if you can call in sick for work today. I don’t want you to go.”

“If I could, I would believe me, but we have an important meeting today, we all have to be there.”

“Okay so I can come over after you finish then?”

“And have Mia’s nosy ass in our business? Absolutely not. The only reason she hasn’t blown up my phone is because she’s still not back from her research project in Normandy so she doesn’t even know I didn’t sleep at home last night. I want us to talk over everything, properly, figure out whatever,” You wave your hands in the small space between the both of you. “This is, before it even goes that far. I’ll come here straight after work instead, okay?”

He nodded, leaning forward to press a kiss to your lips, giving you exactly what you’d been craving.

“But you’ll stay for breakfast this morning at least?”

“Sure,” you replied, kissing him again (you really couldn’t get enough of his lips, this could be a major problem) before he left the apartment. You fell back in the bed with a sigh, thinking about the events that had transpired the previous night. If anyone had told you that morning, that in 24 hours, you’d end up in Kylian’s bed, in an entirely non platonic way, you definitely would’ve pointed them in the direction of the nearest asylum because they’d have had to have been deluded out of their minds. But apparently, you hadn’t misread Kylian behaviour recently, the way he’d touch you, keep his gaze fixed on you, speak to you; he’d wanted you just as much as you’d always wanted him. And for the first time in forever since this stupid back and forth with him, you’d felt hopeful, there was nothing standing in the way of the two of you being together right now. You smiled to yourself, his scent on the quilt overcrowding your senses, before pulling yourself out of bed and walking into the lounge where the both of you had haphazardly removed and forgotten your clothing between rough kisses and heavy petting. It was a miracle you’d even made it to his bedroom…the third time round.

You were zipping up your hoodie when the doorbell rang.

Maybe his hands are full, you thought as you made your way to open the door, wondering why Kylian didn’t just punch in his code and let himself in.

“Hey, did you forget I was supposed to come over? You didn’t answer m-“ The voice stopped when they realised it wasn’t in fact Kylian who was behind the door as they looked up from their phone. “Y/N?”

Your breath was caught in your throat, your hand frozen on the door handle as your limbs turned to stone. Outwardly, you looked at the picture of calmness and serenity, however, you were anything but. Internally, you felt like a fish out of water, your mind was racing and panic was beginning to set in but you tried your best to keep your composure, plastering a smile on your face.

“Hi! Renee! Umm, hi!”

“Hi…” Her left eyebrow rose as she squinted slightly at you, and you would bet all the money in your bank account she was questioning what the hell you were doing at her ex boyfriend’s house at 9 in the morning, looking like you’d most definitely spent the night. “What are you doing here?” Her voice was sickenly sweet, but there was a spiteful undertone.

“I…uh…”

“She was running in the area, and just came over to say hi.” Kylian suddenly appeared behind Renee, answering her question for you. You couldn’t help the small laugh that bubbled out of you at his words, at how easy it was for him to lie, to brush everything aside and dismiss all that had happened last night, the promise of what was to come between the two of you completely out of the window.

“Awhh you got me a drink?” She cooed, pulling one of the paper cups out of the cardboard holder as you tried to tie the laces on your ice blue Air Jordan 1s as quickly as possible so you could get the fuck out of there.

“Babe, you know I don’t like oat, I only drink almond or hemp.” You guessed she’d picked up the cup meant for you. Or maybe it was for her and Kylian had made a mistake, this whole morning was looking like one big mistake anyways so that would make sense. You brushed past her and Kylian, muttering something about being late for work as you rushed towards the elevator. Kylian shoved the other coffee and the bag containing the pastries into Renee hand before running after you, reaching you as you stepped into the elevator, pressing the ground floor button repeatedly in the hopes it would close before he he managed to stop it, but his hand swept across the door at the last second. The metal door opened fully to him and you turned yourself away as he entered.

“Y/N-“

“Fuck Kylian, I asked you. I said more than once, you have a girlfriend and you stood there and you lied straight to my face.” You were trying so hard to keep it together, you’d cried one too many times over him, shed too many tears because of his inability to be honest with you, to be straight up and just let you know you’re not the one for him, instead of dangling you on this never ending string.

“I didn’t lie to you. I told you we broke up-“

“You said you hadn’t spoken to her in two weeks.”

“I haven’t-“

“Bullshit! Don’t stand there and lie to me again Kylian! She said you knew she was coming. Unless you’re both telekinetic, I’m sure that would require at least a text message.”

8th floor.

“I forgot, it completely slipped my mind in the moment, she was the last thing on my mind-“

“When I was in front you naked? Offering myself on a nice shiny platter.”

“Y/N-“

“What am I to you Kylian? Just the girl who’ll let you fuck when you miss her right? Twice on your couch and three times in your bed, what’s that, an orgasm for each time you’d broken up?” You’d finally reached your limit, wiping furiously at the tears that were slipping down your face, as you turned away from Kylian.

“Jesus Y/N, that’s what you think of me? Of us?”

You scoffed, looking at the numbers in the lift getting closer to zero as you descended, and there and then, you hated Kylian even more, just for living on the 16th floor because it took way too long for you to reach the ground floor.

“You’ve given me no reason to believe any different.”

“You think I just have random things for you lying around my apartment for the sake of it.”

“No big deal, remember?” You reminded him, your fingers bent in quotation marks as you repeated the words he’d said to you earlier yesterday.

2nd floor. Thank God, almost there.

“Of course it’s a big fucking deal.”

“Ground floor.” The voice announced over the speaker as the lift doors opened and you walked out quickly, hoping Kylian hadn’t seen your tear streaked face, taking a deep breath, not realising you’d held your breath practically the whole way down. He grabbed your arm, stopping your brisk walk so suddenly that you flew into him, your back hitting his chest and he held you there. You’re sure he could feel the rise and fall of your chest as you sobbed, trying to keep as silent as possible to not draw any attention to yourself. It was early, there wasn’t anyone in the lobby thankfully enough, besides the doorman and security who were too busy conversing between themselves at the other end of the lobby to notice you and Kylian.

“YOU’RE a big fucking deal to me Y/N, I care about you. Too much.” He continued, his arm around your waist, holding you close to him as you fought to free yourself from his tight grip. It was all too overwhelming, he was much too close to you, you couldn’t think, you couldn’t move, you couldn’t breathe.

“Too much?” You spun yourself in his arms, so you were now facing him and could see his eyes soften when he saw you’d definitely been crying. You pretended not to notice.

“You care too much Kylian? You couldn’t even tell your ex, if she’s even that, the real reason I was at your apartment at 9am in the morning.”

“So you wanted me to tell Renee we spent the night together?”

“Don’t you dare flip this on me.” You finally managed to pull his arms away from you, stepping back as you pushed your finger into your chest. “I never asked you to lie. You do that shit all on your own. You promised me Ky, you promised you wouldn’t hurt me this time.”

“Please just let me explain.”

“No.” You’d heard him out so many times, you’d let his sweet words reel you back in where he wanted you, let it cloud your better judgement. But today, you had to cut yourself loose.

“I gave you so many chances Kylian, so many, and you fucked each and every one up. Well now I’m done. We’re done.” Your voice broke as you finished your sentence.

“Y/N-“

“You don’t know me anymore Kylian. Forget my face, my name, my number.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Yes I fucking do. I’m not wasting my time on you anymore. I never want to see you again.” You flick your head towards the ceiling. “Don’t let me keep you, your girl is waiting..,babe.”

“Y/N-“

You don’t stay to hear anything more he has to say, leaving him behind and walking out into the bustling Parisian streets and letting the busy atmosphere sweep you up, anything to keep you from focusing on and thinking about the man you’d known and loved your whole entire life you’d just left behind forever.

——

This ended up being just shy of 10k words I’ve never written that much before 🫣

One more part left ksnskdkdkd with how much I dislike the miscommunication trope I can’t believe I’ve written 5 diff one shots abt it (justified tho) ☝🏿 and this is the first time they haven’t made up by the end of the chapter so it’s definitely about to get much worse before it gets better, but it’ll all come to a head soon enough, and thank y’all for still sticking with me. Also here is some cute content of kylian with his niece and nephew bc it genuinely makes me so 🥺🥺. As always please leave your thoughts, honestly your comments and asks keeps me going 🫶🏿

LINK TO MAIN PART

Tag list (i hope this was everyone sorry if I missed you out 🥲)

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