#Brain Curd 242

[notsocheezy]

Brain Curd #242

Brain Curds are lightly edited daily writing - usually flash fiction and sometimes terrible on purpose.

The lights faded in on Houston’s local news studio and the anchors began to speak.

“Thanks for tuning in to the five o’clock news. I’m Sheldon West.”

“And I’m Marianne Cooper. Tonight’s top story: What has become of the popular podcast host known to most of his listeners only as, ‘Frank’?”

~

“Welcome back to The Frank Program. I’m Frank, over there in the corner is my boy, Daryl, and today’s guest is our very first: My beautiful wife, Anita.”

“What the hell is this, Frank?”

“It’s my podcast. I do a podcast now. You’d know about it if ya ever bothered to care about what I wanted.”

“It’s always about what you want, Frank. Look, I don’t care if you’re recording this. I know damn well nobody will ever listen to it. But it is absolutely not okay to bring Daryl into this. It’s between us.”

“He ought’ know what’s going on.”

“No he oughtn’t.”

“I don’t keep secrets from ‘im and you shouldn’t either.”

“I think the judge from the custody hearing might disagree.”

~

Sheldon West straightened his tie before the broadcast came back to the studio. “What started out as a small production uploaded to YouTube every few weeks or so became the talk of the internet when Chuck Tangent made his explosive debut on the show.”

“The viral clip of him bursting through the ceiling of the studio brought notoriety to the amateur podcast which had already been active for several years. Suddenly, celebrities were banging down Frank’s door for interviews, most of which ended in one form of disaster or another. This, it turned out, was a winning formula.”

“Here’s our in-the-field correspondent, Greta Alvarado, with the word on the street.”

~

In a pre-taped segment, microphones were shoved into the faces of people on the streets of Houston.

A woman wearing a pink blouse: “I love to see how that dirtbag screws up every interview. Have you seen how he treats his kid? If that’s what he says on camera, I don’t wanna know what he’s like the rest of the time.”

A sunburned man in a graphic tee with the sleeves cut off: “I appreciate that Frank isn’t scared to speak his mind, you know? Like, this guy says what I’m thinking. Loved his vape juice recipe.”

A visibly queer teen: “I’m like ninety percent sure his kid is trans and I think he knows. That’s why he’s been doing all those drugs.”

~

“Loyal viewers have noticed the famously low-quality interviews of The Frank Program declining further in recent months as Frank has been less and less present during recording. In the last new episode released, he was seen snorting what appeared to be powder cocaine.”

“Rumors swirl of Frank’s very public downfall. Some claim to have seen him begging for change on the streets, but we’ve been unable to substantiate any of these eyewitness reports. There have yet to be any credible claims of the unlikely public figure’s location.”

“The family is working with police to track him down. If you have any information, please call the number at the bottom of the screen. In other news, these cute puppies are looking for their forever homes - can you resist those big eyes?”

He's gonna be Frank with you. Read the rest of The Frank Program here on Tumblr!

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