#British secondary school

[nocopops]

‘total drama characters in british schools’ are SO funny to me and they’re so so accurate

like i sit there cackling every time they come up on my fyp because they’re all the stereotypical british secondary kids

guaranteed in every video:

HEATHER AND LESHAWNA ARE SCRAPPING 24/7

duncan is ALWAYS in iso

alejandro and justin are THE school fitties

bridgette and geoff obliterating everyone in gcse pe

90% of them are vaping

random people having beef w noah

sierra picking the exact same gcses as cody

duncan and heather chatting shit about everyone in the lunch queue and lobbing overpriced paninis at year 7s

lindsay reeking of victoria’s secret spray

trent recording all the scraps

‘the canteen food is bare minging’

oh and how can we forget ezekiel only coming in once a month and getting absolutely RINSED every time he does

here’s one from me:

the drama brothers all pick gcse music and drama

[inkcoveredpoet]

I’m so fucked for Chemistry paper one 😭.. I’m having to relearn the whole thing because we had some wack ass teacher last year

[thebigsl33p]

Stars Hide Their Fires, Let Not Light See My Deep and Dark Desires

A/N: this is written as a half-joke for my friend

The knock comes late at night.

She knows who it is. Knows why he's there. The same reason he comes every night.

But this time, Macbeth doesn't wait. He simply pushes open the door, the fire in the hearth casting a golden glow over him. Blood. Blood everywhere, on his hands, on his face, staining his white shirt, his fingernails and his soul. He's ragged, dark eyes wild and hair askew, brow viciously furrowed. His hands are doused in blood, but they do not shake.

She's only wearing her nightgown, and her eyes widen slightly. It is not the first time he has come to her like this, furious and mad and doused in another man's blood.

He stumbles into her rooms, stumbles into her, his hands finding her jaw, smearing blood across her cheek, and without warning he kisses her. Its not soft, and its not easy, and there's a metallic scent in the air as the blood touches her skin, as his hands travel down to her hips to grip at her, to give her a gentle squeeze, so different to his anger.

[fingertips1992]

homestar runner british secondary school because i need a way to fucking cope here

homestar would be a year 7 that runs to the canteen like it’s his very last meal and would be a massive neek. not many people would like him especially the popular kids as they’d think he’s annoying.

marzipan would try so hard to fit in with the popular kids. she’d be one of them nice chavs. also nobody knows she’s dating homestar.

strong bad would try so hard to act hard, when deep down he’s the biggest neek there is. he’d probably get in iso a lot.

strong mad has already graduated but his soul is still left there. my mate was the biggest roadman there is.

bubs would sell elf bars behind the school for 50p.

coach z would be a proper teacher’s pet, but nobody knows if it’s an act or not.

strong sad would be one of those kids that get things shouted at them. a common one for him would be “emo”.

[writingforshtsandgiggles]

doing all your year eleven work in Lord Of The Rings font and borderline disappointing your teachers but it's amusing sooooo

"fire blood and anguish" but from the shire

[ellie-the-frog]

Today, in mentor/form time the class next to mine started playing and singing 'All I want for Christmas is you' at 8.35am. It's September.

[i-love-your-shades-of-wrong]

an actual encounter I witnessed:

weird-art-teacher: are you sad because your room’s door is broken?

grouchy-art-teacher: (from the other room) *muffled depressed noises*

weird-art-teacher: tsk-tsk, it’ll be fixed by monday

grouchy-art-teacher: *more depressed noises*

weird-art-teacher (to student): He just wants his door.

[https-laura]

just starting sixth form and year 11 is starting to feel like a fever dream.

did i hate secondary school? yes!

did i lose hours to revision? yes!

was y11 still one of the best years of my life? absolutely!

like i'm not gonna miss revising for subjects that i hate for gcse, but i am gonna miss going to school everyday with my friends and those people i liked that i'll never speak to again and our lunch table and the school field we played rounders on and ughhhh

[boobi-boy]

theres a school by my house. a secondary school. this school has a shitass reputation and has made the local news several times because of the shit that happens there. i did not attend this school, however my sister and best friend do. i also have another friend who still goes there and three more friends who used to go there. allow me to tell you some stories about this school that we will refer to as fuck academy.

my best friend - we'll call him carl - attended fuck academy for five years. in that time, a geography teacher who had taught his class quit and continued to write a book about how difficult it was to teach there. this book included a story about carl's class who - in this poor soul's first observed lesson - decided they cared more about a one-legged pigeon that kept coming and going from the windowsill than geography. it escalated to the point of the entire class cheering whenever the pigeon returned to the window. this was the story that ended up being in the aforementioned book the geography teacher wrote about fuck academy.

my sister was skipping her fourth lesson of the day (cant blame her as an alevel student i can hardly get through three lessons once a week never mind six lessons every single day). her and a friend decided to leave the school and go to the shops nearby. they did this by climbing over a fence. on the way back in, they realised they had four minutes until lunch began when all the teachers would come outside and see them climbing back in over the fence, which meant they were in a hurry. the friend climbed back in first with no issues. the same cant be said for my poor sister, who slipped on the trolley she was using to boost herself over the fence and sliced her hands open on the three sharp prongs at the top of said fence. an ambulance was called and she was off school for a week. in this time, people i know who attended fuck academy would talk to me about 'that year nine girl who sliced her hands open on the fence' and i would tell them it was my sister. they often didnt believe me, so i had to show them a picture of her in the fucking ambulance with her school uniform still on. of course, rumours went wild. some thought she was dead, paralysed, an amputee. others believed a particularly bitchy teacher had pushed her. Some were even under the impression that she was comatose. they would all be very disappointed when i assured them that she was happily sat in her bed at home playing fortnite. (sidenote - while waiting for the ambulance the teachers used her uniform tie as a tourniquet to stop the bleeding - this was the one rumour many were pleased to find out was true)

another close friend of mine - who we'll call A - played a lot of basketball with their friends at fuck academy. A, along with their friends, entered a basketball minigame type thing called 21 (pretty self explanatory - first to 21 hoops wins). Another friend of A's, we'll call this guy Richard, entered this game knowing the forfeit this particular game of 21 had should you lose. The loser was to show everyone their cock. Everyone knew this before the game began. Including Richard. Richard lost. Richard did not want anyone to see his cock. The group conferred and decided that Richard had two options. Show everyone his cock, or he was to receive a concussion. Richard chose concussion. A smashed Richard's head on a bench and he was, in fact concussed. A and Richard are still close friends to this day. (I would like to add that Richard lost the same game with the same conditions the following week and chose concussion again and after meeting that man i do not doubt that he has received two concussions in his lifetime).

i cant remember many more stories but i will post if i remember more so here's your last one. fuck academy made local news because some year seven (idk what grade that would be for any american fucks reading but she was 11 years old) was not allowed to go to the toilet and continued to have explosive diarrhoea in the classroom.

[youknowitslove]

just saw my biology teacher and my old maths teacher hug this feels like the crossover episode i never knew i needed

[lilyflxwers]

we need more lily evans being violent n rude n bloody n so so messy

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

And another thing! Literally any queer story that takes place during the colonial age would have a huge gaping hole in it if it didn't have anticolonialism as a theme. Especially one that centers indigenous people. Like the reason that every culture had their own concepts of gender until something happened and then suddenly the gender binary was ubiquitous is because western European colonial powers made their view of gender the only acceptable one as part of christianizing and colonizing the world. You're not gonna have a show set in 1717 in the Caribbean where the love interest is a gay Maori man and the main deuteragonist is a non-binary mestizo catholic and just skip over colonialism. Like these are exactly the people who western gender roles are being forced on at fucking gun point during this era. Jim and Ed are both mixed race characters who's gender and sexual identities are in active defiance of the colonial powers that be. And this is the fucking Stede Ed and Jim show.

And there's something to be said for the fact that Stede's toxic masculinity plot line is internalized and Ed's struggle with toxic masculinity is largely external in the form a white guy who rubs elbows with the British Navy when Ed doesn't behave to his standard of masculinity. That choice didn't come out of nowhere and it shows a deep understanding of where homophobia comes from. That's not to say that precolonial communities of color were paradise for people that we today would consider queer but the rich tapestry of sexual and gender expressions that existed in those communities were erased in the name of colonialism. That's going to affect literally any queer person at the time when OFMD is set. These two things are inextricably linked.

Like when David Jenkins says a lot of what we're taught about being men is wrong, motherfucker who taught us what a man was. Who taught Ed what a man was? Who taught Stede what a man was for that matter? It's the white dad with the English accent who is violent (derogatory) and overbearing.

Like you get what I'm saying right? Like it's a silly little rom com but also it must necessarily be that deep because of who these characters are and when and where they exist.

[cyanityy]

Thinking about how secondary schools usually have three-word Latin mottos on the emblem to show which virtues are most exercised ("Modeste, Strenue, Sancte", "Stet Fortuna Domus"..) so having the original Bully game named Canis Canem Edit was a jab at this system while hinting at what Bullworth's climate is like.

[chichis-interlude]

So tempted to manifest living in America bro.

After my GCSEs I’ll manifest a move cuz I wanna go thru the American High school experience for at least a year

[jemmo]

shoutout to all the 20 somethings watching the waterloo road reboot and realising they’re closer in age to the teachers and parents than the students