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[httpsserene]

mama y papa — 𝐥𝐧. 𝟒 & 𝐨𝐩. 𝟖𝟏 lando norris x baker/pastry chef! fem!black!reader & platonic oscar piastri drabbles & smau. fluff & humor. reader owns & works ather bakery in monaco.

synopsis: you and lando are blessed with a beautiful baby boy.

༊࿐ ⊹ ˚. i took it too far this time. it's long aslllll. but it might be the best thing i've ever offered to f1 tumblr in my entire career. grab a snack, drink, and tuck yourself into a comfortable position xxx

⌕ join taglist | requests & feedback | upcoming chapters | table of contents ↻

imessage • preseason 2023

That’s how you find yourself outside of the MTC in the mid-morning two days later. You’re mildly…exhausted, after commandeering the kitchen in Lando’s Silverstone flat to make a sickening amount of banana bread to feed all of McLaren. After tipping your Uber to the MTC double what the ride costs (for allowing you to stuff his car with a hundred pounds of your decadent treat and helping you unload them into the lobby), you’re greeted with warm welcomes and hungry eyes from the staff. Eager to eat, they’re quick to find you a couple of carts to help you move all the banana bread to the communal area. You’re walking backward to make sure none of your sliced loaves fall, smiling with all the workers as they follow you through the building. Setting up shop, you hand out your sliced banana bread, chatting and catching up with everyone as they sing praises over your sweet treat. Word travels around the MTC quickly when it comes to you bringing baked goods and it comes as no surprise to you when you see a perplexed and overwhelmed Oscar Piastri join the line. You’re bursting with excitement and anticipation by the time he’s picking up his slice.

“Thank you for the banana bread,” Oscar expresses softly, his smile boxy.

“Oh, of course,” you dismiss his gratitude lightly, struggling to keep your cuteness aggression at bay, “I’ve been doing this for the factory since Lando joined–and I figured it would be a good welcoming gift for you!”

“Wait–are you Lando’s girlfriend?” Oscar chokes on his bite of bread.

You rush forward to pat his back, ordering for someone to get him a glass of water; you would hate to be responsible for the death of Mclaren’s rookie driver. When his airways are cleared, you exchange proper greetings and you are quick to make sure Lando has been treating him well. 

“Honestly, I should’ve known it was you” Oscar chuckles, “Lando cannot stop talking about you. Zak had to establish a rule that only allowed him to mention you two times an hour.”

“That must have been rough for him,” you snort dryly, “the rule was five times an hour last year. Anyways, Oscar–who do you main on Mario Kart? This could make or break our friendship.”

You find yourself enamored with Oscar as the conversation goes on. He stands and keeps you company as you continue to hand out banana bread. It’s mostly you doing the talking; Oscar’s quiet, a man of few words but he listens well. He has a sarcastic sense of humor that is similar to Lando’s yet completely different: Lando’s jokes are loud, Oscar’s are hushed. He’s humble, shy even, flustering when you lightly tease him. You’re well past having Oscar as your friend—you’re convinced that he’s achieved little brother or son status.

“Banana Bread!” Zak shouts as he walks up to the two of you, Lando at his side, “Please tell me this is your homemade version?”

“I would never settle for store-bought banana bread,” you gasp dramatically, “It’s homemade as always, Zak. This time I did my grandmother’s recipe instead of my own.”

The CEO practically jumps with glee and rushes to grab a couple of slices–he’s only had this version of the dessert once, and swore it changed his life. Lando walks to you, pressing a kiss to your temple before nodding at Oscar.

“What do you think, love, “Lando hums to you softly, “Did he pass the test?”

You blink up at him and whisper, “I invited him over for dinner tonight—do you think we can use one of the printers here to print out adoption forms?”

bahrain • 2023

After qualifying, it felt like you and Zak were the only people in the garage who remained optimistic for race day. Lando was less than pleased with placing 11th; he parroted words of positivity and hope for improvement but in the privacy of your hotel room he crumbled. He buried his face in your neck muffling just how low his expectations for this season are. You tried to convince him it was too early in the season—the first race weekend—to make that decision but, he was too in his feelings to see reason. 

Oscar was disappointed in himself for placing 18th. When he took off his helmet after returning to the garage, you could see the doubt in his skills lingering through his eyes. You pulled him to sit with you as you continued to wait for the second session to begin and gently reassured him that this wasn’t an accurate representation of his skills; Formula One is a massive change from Formula Two. Oscar nodded at your reassurance but you could tell he was still freshly in shock at his “terrible” performance so your logical advice wasn’t believed. 

On race day, however, you found your positivity dip as well. Oscar DNF’d on lap 13 and rage filled the spot that optimism used to inhabit. The Australian was handling his retirement better than you were; he brushed off everybody’s apologies and went straight to reviewing his data and watching Lando’s race—you, however, wanted to snap at any of his mechanics that walked by. It wasn’t like Lando’s race was any better if you could call what he was doing a race. Slow pit stops, six pit stops at that, the fast lap gamble failure, finishing last, and being two laps down from the race leader…Zak took one glance at you and quickly made himself scarce.

You rode back with both of the boys to the hotel and nearly cried for them with how down the mood was. On the walk to your rooms, Oscar attempted to exchange goodbyes with you and Lando before you cut him off.

“Uh-uh, nope,” you shook your head, “I pre-ordered dinner for us. Come eat?”

Oscar stuttered, “O-oh? I don’t want to intrude–”

“Oscar Jack Piastri,” both he and Lando winced at the sound of his full name, “I’m not going to let either one of you go to bed on an empty stomach. You’re going to eat dinner with me and Lan and you’re going to drink several glasses of water so I can make sure you’re properly rehydrated. Understood?”

“I would love to have dinner with you guys,” Oscar blinked at you in fear, “Also, how do you know my middle name?”

You laughed as you unlocked the door, holding it open for both of the boys as you walked in, “I had a wonderful conversation with your mother, of course.”

“When did you meet my mom?!”

australia • 2023

You were on the edge of losing your voice as you screamed and cheered with Nicole Piastri and Adam Norris for both of the McLaren boys and their double points finishes. The two drivers finishing in the midfield felt like the team had figured something out for Oscar’s home race (if you ignored how almost half of the drivers retired their cars). The Piastri’s invited everyone to a local restaurant to celebrate Oscar’s first points in Formula One, but before you and Lando headed out, the two of you nearly lost your minds.

The two of you forced him to pose with his car and take several pictures with it, strongly suggesting that he smiles big and wide for the camera. Fernando and Lewis walked by and burst into laughter, claiming that you and Lando were treating Oscar like a child. So, obviously, the two of you committed to the bit. You guys cooed and called Oscar’s name, clapping and jumping to pretend like he was a toddler whose attention needed to be grabbed to have him look at the camera. The rookie cringed in embarrassment, cheeks burning red as he tried to convince you guys to stop making a fuss over him.

Lando gasped, sickened at Oscar’s words, “Oscar! How could you say such a thing to your mother and me? We only want to celebrate our boy!”

You nodded furiously in agreement, nearly breaking character at the dumbfounded look that rose to the Australian’s face.

“What the fuck,” Oscar blurted out, yet he continued to smile for your camera.

“Oh my god!” You said appalled, “Lando did you teach our son that foul language?! I told you not to curse in front of the baby!”

instagram • bakewithyn • april 6th • melbourne ⚑

liked by, oscarpiastri, landonorris, mclaren, markwebber, and 413,257 others

bakewithyn: happy birthday oscar 🥳 there’s no birthday gift like scoring your FIRST EVER POINTS in f1 at your HOME race but !!! i’m super happyyy you enjoyed the 🐨 cookies i made for you (lando helped ig 😐) 🤗🤗🤗

tagged oscarpiastri

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📌 yninstagram ps! these are limited edition cookies at my bakery for oscar piastri day!!! first come first serve until sell out! all proceeds go to the australian koala foundation as it was oscar’s personal request 😇

➥ user charitable king shit fr 👑

➥ user FUCK i wish i was rich enough to visit/live in monaco

➥ user don't worry, they're nearly sold out already and the bakery opened three hours ago !!!!

nicolepiastri these were so tasty! i wish i had your baking skills

➥ yninstagram tysm mama piastri !!! i'm blushing

➥ user mama piastri???? im crying

user the koala photo with the bow 😩

➥user what r u talking about?? i only see a picture of oscar with a bow?

➥ user fr i only see oscar 😵‍💫

user "lando helped ig" what did he do? look pretty the entire time you baked LMAO

➥ landonorris actually i was allowed to put the ingredients in the bowls AND preheat the oven too 😤

➥ landonorris and i always look pretty wtf

➥ user omg...yn gave him the toddler tasks 💀💀💀

oscarpiastri the cookies were so good! they nearly tasted better than my first points felt

➥ yninstagram omg high praise from the man himself 🤯

➥ oscarpiastri had to fight my sisters to make sure they didn't only leave me with crumbs

➥ user oh i understand that eldest sibling battle

➥ user my little sisters bite i think they have rabies

➥ user oh what a shame. euthanasia is an option 🤗

miami • 2023

The energy after Miami was rightfully terrible. The car is shit; Lando lost a position from where he qualified to make him P17 and Oscar maintained his P19. It’s hot, and humid, and everyone in the garage is miserable. McLaren is a family. When the boys don’t do good, everybody understands and feels their pain. Nobody likes seeing the boys with frowns on their lips and sadness in their eyes, but it’s becoming a usual appearance during this season. So to turn those frowns upside down, you went on a hunt for some cold treats. You got Lando a frozen lemonade and Oscar an ice cream sandwich—it’s a safe choice, you hadn’t necessarily thought about asking him what kind of ice cream he prefers. 

You found Oscar staring at the wall, eyes focused forward but his mind somewhere else. You tapped him gently on the shoulder, offering him a small smile when he looked at you. He tried to offer you a smile of his own but couldn’t manage to hold it for more than a couple seconds. You presented the ice cream sandwich to him and he looked at you in surprise, as if he couldn’t believe you would give it to him.

“F-for,” his voice cracks awkwardly, “For me?”

You hummed, ruffling his hair and taking a seat on the couch next to him, “No, for the King of England. Yes–for you Oscar.”

He thanked you shyly and quickly began to unwrap the packaging, munching away happily. You took a second to text Lando your location and inform him of the frozen lemonade waiting for him, and when you turned to look back at Oscar—the kid was a mess. He wasn’t even a quarter of the way through the dessert sandwich and you’re convinced he managed to spill more of it than he ingested. The ice cream was painted across the lower half of his face and dripping down his hands–you caught a drop of it with a napkin before it fell and stained his shirt.

“Jesus, Oscar!” you scolded him, “I look away for two seconds and you make a mess!”

Oscar shrugged at you, feigning innocence, but you saw the staple redness of embarrassment begin to tint his chubby cheeks. You snapped your fingers in remembrance before you moved to rifle through your purse, Oscar staring at you with wide eyes as he continued to snack away. You exclaimed in delight, showing off a pair of wet wipes you remembered to bring with you. Oscar accepted the offered wipes and you watched carefully to make sure he removed all the smudges of ice cream from his hands and face.

“Hi, lovely girl,” Lando approached you, throwing himself onto the sofa next to you. He gave you a soft kiss on the lips and temple before grabbing his now lemonade slushy and taking a look at Oscar.

“Woah, mate,” Lando teased, “Did you lose in a fight against the ice cream sandwich?”

Oscar rolled his eyes and ignored Lando as he finished cleaning up. Once he was done, you gathered all of the dirty wipes on the table to be thrown away. You and Lando both watched Oscar as he ate the rest of his snack in fear of another mess occurring—and, then you had a bright idea. Leaning forward, you took a dry napkin and tucked it into the collar of his McLaren polo, creating a makeshift bib. 

“Lando, remind me to get our son ice cream in a cup from now on!”

twitter • may 14th

instagram • landonorris • may 23rd • monte carlo ⚑

liked by, bakewithyn, charlesleclerc, fernandoalonso, and 502,113 others

landonorris: does it still count as a date night if your boy and his best friend are building legos in the next room🤨

tagged bakewithyn, oscarpiastri, logansargeant

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user "your boy" WTF DOES THAT MEAN ‼️‼️‼️

user they're building legos before the race weekend starts 🤧

user has oscar been staying with lando since last week?

➥ user i thought he was just sleeping over for one night 🧐

adamnorris does this make me a grandfather?

➥ user what the hell is happening

➥ landonorris um? surprise haha 😀

bakewithyn it's a great date night! it's comforting knowing ozzy's in the next room over

➥ bakewithyn i have separation anxiety :)

➥ landonorris me too omg this was my best idea ever

➥ user this is like a reverse 13th reason- it's like my 1st reason i'm glad to be alive

➥ user ozzy 🫠

landonorris logan and osc just went silent. chat, should i be worried?

➥ user i'll bet my life savings that one of them has a lego shoved up their nose 😬

➥ user when kids go quiet it's never good !!!!

qatar • 2023

You cried an embarrassing amount of times this weekend. Your son won his first sprint race in his Formula One career, and his father—your boyfriend—was up there on the podium with him to celebrate. It seems like you have to make another special dessert for your bakery to celebrate both of your boys, but you can worry about brainstorming ideas when you stop crying into Andrea Stella’s shoulder in the middle of the pit lane. You’re sure that your face will be posted all over Twitter in a couple of hours.

A part of you wished that Lando had won the sprint race, just as he probably wanted the same thing. But, as both of you made eye contact with each other over Oscar’s head, the Australian rambling endlessly as he hugged his trophy on your hotel room floor, both of you knew that there was no better outcome this weekend than Oscar getting a taste of victory. Lando’s win will come in due time. A P2, P3 finish on Sunday was just the proof everyone needed of McLaren’s improvement and the threat they may pose to Red Bull next year. 

são paulo • 2023

You had the Grand Prix playing on your phone as you did some prep work for the bakery. The race ended and you couldn’t help but feel happy, yet relieved for the race to be over for different reasons. Lando had a wonderful drive today, and Oscar had the opposite; you were just glad it wasn’t a DNF for him.

You had only just begun wiping down the counters when the sound of the post-race show is interrupted by the ringtone you have set for Oscar. You paused quickly, scooping your phone up to answer.

“Hi, Ozzy,” you cooed gently, “How are you feeling? Sorry about your race buddy, that was unfortunate.”

“It happens, I guess. I feel like shit, mostly. Like I let the team down.”

“No way, Oscar! You’re not letting anybody down. Your race result today wasn’t the result of your skills, it was the result of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was a racing incident. If anybody tells you differently, let me know. I’ll rip their vocal cords out.”

Oscar’s laugh crackled through the receiver. “Yes, mum. I’ll let you know. I really want some of your chocolate chip cookies, they’re the perfect bad race remedy.”

“Well, I’m flying out in a few hours to meet you guys in Brazil so I can celebrate Lando’s—sorry, excuse me—your father’s birthday with him. I think there may be some time for me in my schedule to make some cookies with you.”

“Really? We should make some for Lando too! Wait, before you leave, I left his birthday gift—”

“—In our apartment, I remember! I already packed it in my luggage, I wouldn’t forget.”

“You’re the best, seriously.”

“Mhm, I know. Also, we should share some of these cookies with Charles too, his radio message made me cry.”

“Okay, he can have one cookie.”

“Oscar Jack,” you said dryly.

“Yes, sharing is caring or whatever. He can have like...two.”

instagram • bakewithyn • november 13th • las vegas ⚑

liked by, mclaren, landonorris, f1, oscarpiastri and 353,764 others

bakewithyn: happy birthday to lando norris. he's a pretty cool guy, a great dad, and the perfect boyfriend. love you lots, baby, and i'll love you forever xxx

tagged landonorris

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user wait is this a pregnancy announcement 😨

user this is giving engagement reveal

charlesleclerc bro. if i didn't know you guys i would think your caption was serious 😣

➥ bakewithyn get pranked LOL XD

➥ user oh i feel like i just got catfished

➥ user wait so lando didn't propose nor did he put a baby in her 😒

➥ user I WANTED A BABY NORRIS

➥ user oscar exists? he's literally their child

oscarpiastri no fr i thought i was about to learn i had a sibling otw from this post

➥ bakewithyn ozzy we would've told you???

➥ landonorris you literally bought the card for me

➥ oscarpiastri a boy can hope for a younger sibling can he not :(

➥ bakewithyn so close 😚 no you can't! hope that helps xo

➥ landonorris sorry osc, it's your mum's decision 🤷‍♂️

➥ user does this mean lando wants an actual kid

mclaren admin was terrified ngl 😅

➥ mclaren i thought you really posted an engagement and pregnancy reveal without letting me know 😭

➥ landonorris sorry admin, i'll keep you in the loop in the future

➥ user landoyn engagement soon??????

twitter • november 18th • las vegas ⚑

twitter • preseason 2024

miami • 2024

Lando had you pinned to the wall in his driver's room, with his hands tangled in your curls and his mouth devouring yours. Your moans are muffled into his lips as you grind against his thigh. You tried to multitask, struggling to pull his driver’s suit down. Lando lifted you slightly, encouraging you to wrap your legs around his waist and neither of you cared to pull away at the sound of your foot hitting his P1 trophy and knocking it over. One of his hands fell from your hair to grasp at the smooth brown skin of your neck, his palm acting as a warm weighted choker on your throat and you broke away from the kiss to moan. 

“Fuck, Lando—get naked,” you whined desperately, “we don’t have much time for you to tease me right now!”

Lando laughed as he moved to press kisses along your jawline and behind your ear. You felt his lips part on your skin, his breath ghosting over you causing goosebumps to rise, but it’s not his voice you hear.

“Lando, they need us for pictures—OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK,” yelped Oscar, the sound of his hand smacking over his eyes reverberating around the room.

You shrieked in surprise, pushing your boyfriend away from you as you speedily readjusted your clothes. Lando positioned himself in front of you, his back facing you allowing you a little more privacy as he speedily fixed his suit around his waist.

“Learn how to knock, kid,” Lando huffed, no shame found in his words, “You interrupted my winning celebration.”

You screamed in dismay, slapping the back of Lando’s head and Oscar began to stumble out of the room, bumping into the doorframe as he still covered his eyes.

“Yeah, knock in the future, I understand,” Oscar sounds like he’s about to cry, “I feel like I just saw my mum and dad having sex!”

instagram • bakewithyn • may 12th • mama's house ⚑

liked by oscarpiastri, alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris, and 551,012 others

bakewithyn: LOOK AT MY SON 🥺🥺 PRIDE IS NOT THE WORD IM LOOKING FOR 🗣️🗣️🔊🔊 (happy mother's day to all the beautiful mamas x)

tagged oscarpiastri

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oscarpiastri did dad get you anything 🙃

➥ user 👀👀👀

➥ landonorris well i would've if SOMEBODY told me we were celebrating this year 🤬🤬🤬🤬

➥ oscarpiastri i didn't know i *had* to tell you

➥ user wowwwww lando

➥ user shameful honestly 😕

markwebber happy milf day

➥ markwebber *mother's day sorry typo

➥ bakewithyn what the fuck ☠️☠️☠️

➥ user that was not a typo mark

➥ user sir u are not slick LMAO

➥ bakewithyn i mean...oscar wouldn't mind a step dad, his fatther didn't get me anything today :(

➥ landonorris AYO BABY PLEASE 🧎‍♂️

oscarpiastri you know what would be an even better mother's day gift? getting a puppy 🤭

➥ bakewithyn we are not getting a puppy ozzy.

➥ landonorris should've clued me in osc i might've convinced her for you

➥ oscarpiastri :[

monaco • 2024

You’re about to crash THE FUCK out. At first, it was a little half-joke. Oscar’s home race in Australia, his 1/16th home race in China, and his 3/16th home race in Italy. You originally thought his tweet about “searching for his Monegasque roots” was cute, but you didn’t expect Charles Marc Herve Perceval (Demon Spawn) Leclerc to step into your playing field.

Who the hell does he think he is? Offering to adopt your son? And, Oscar is going along with it? And, the Miami Grand Prix account making a “Certificate of Adoption?” You started to like Miami after Lando won there; and now they’ve betrayed you. Every fan jumped on the bandwagon, thinking that this was the most adorable thing to happen. Like Oscar hasn’t been your child the minute he stepped foot into the MTC in Silverstone. Like he didn’t give you a Mother’s Day present? The Monegasques have some nerve; you were close with Charles and Alex but, now they’ve encroached on your and Lando’s territory. You’re committing several murders today. 

You laughed hysterically when Oscar joined Lando and you for lunch, mentioning that Charles and Alex invited him to eat with the rest of the Leclercs at family dinner after qualifying. You agreed to let him but not without making sure Charles and Alex are qualified for the job. Lando also cornered you in the kitchen and persuaded you to allow Oscar to go; swaying you with the idea of a real date night. You never realized just how much time you guys spend with your son. When’s the last time you guys had a break from being “mum and dad?" It was an appealing offer, but you were serious about clarifying expectations to the thieving couple.

twitter • may 25th • monaco

instagram • bakewithyn • may 25th • date night ⚑

liked by charlesleclerc, landonorris, nicolepiastri and 236,978 others

bakewithyn: a little night off from parenting was needed x

tagged landonorris

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user okay mamiiiii

user all parents deserve to relax !!!

oscarpiastri do you even miss me ☹️

➥ user damn he goin through it

➥ charlesleclerc i literally just got him to smile and now he's crying again 😒

➥ landonorris your mum and i love you lots osc

➥ oscarpiastri :]

alexandrasaintmleux take full advantage of having no children in the house 😈😈😈

➥ charlesleclerc leo will keep him distracted for as longggg as possible 😏

➥ user lando only needs about three minutes 🥱

➥ user wow that's a really long time fr

oscarpiastri mama y papa

➥ user mama y papa

➥ user mama y papa

➥ user mama y papa

instagram • landonorris • june 16th • daddy's home ⚑

liked by oscarpiastri, angryginge, bakewithyn and 436,812 others

landonorris: father's day done right. my child and his mother made a cake for me, family photo slide two, and my son slide three. what more can a man want.

tagged bakewithyn and oscarpiastri

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user this man never misses a chance to call himself daddy

user too fucking funny 🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️

bakewithyn happy father's day, daddy xxx

➥ user OHMYGOD 😖🤢🤮

➥ user on my internet⁉️⁉️⁉️

➥ landonorris even happier now x

user this new wave of parents concerns me...

oscarpiastri the cake was good wasn't it???

➥ landonorris it was perfect, seriously

➥ oscarpiastri i know you both said there's no way we'd get a puppy but hear me out i've thought of something better

➥ oscarpiastri working on giving me a younger sibling :]

➥ user YES BABY NORRIS ‼️‼️‼️

➥ landonorris @/bakewithyn ?

➥ bakewithyn ask me again in a couple of years

© httpsserene - do not reupload. photos in header image are from pinterest. divider by @cafekitsune.

[ddagent]

The office was a flurry of activity: phone calls soliciting donations; the constant churn of the printer for more flyers, more posters. From every angle was Oz's smug face staring back at her: "Elect Oswald Cobb: man of the people." Sofia thought she should get a commission as his first campaign manager. The picture his actual manager had chosen had softened his edges - but kept the scar.

He was here, in the office. A plum suit, waistcoat. Sofia wondered whether he still carried a gun, or whether that wouldn't fit with the image he was trying to present to the Gotham voters. Man of the people. Who had murdered his own brothers, and hers. Who had gutted two crime families - well, one, Sofia had done the Falcones. The driver boy was dead; that had been the first thing Sofia had asked when Oz had visited her in Arkham and the boy hadn't been lingering in his shadow. But since her incarceration, his crimes had been limited. A little bribery. A little blackmail. Julian's head.

And a fire, at Arkham, that had burned the Hangman alive.

That was why Sofia was here. To ask why.

[t4ct1c4l-fluk3]

WHUMPTOBER - DAY 2 - TRUST ISSUES - ROLE REVERSAL

He still remembers that day, clear as anything. Sitting in the back, driver's side of a silver Chevy Trailblazer, some printer paper stuck in a clipboard, and a Ziploc gallon bag of Crayola crayons. Mostly red, yellow, and blue with some orange and never enough purples so he'd always have to dig for them. He couldn't have been much older than seven, at least that was the number burned into his mind. How his mother was the one driving that day, how he loved her. How his dad was sitting there, silent.

"I've got a question for you. One that I need you to answer."

Oh! He loved answering questions! But something seemed off about her tone. Something that made him hesitate and put the crayons he was using back into the bag, closing it up like a good boy before putting it into the door to make sure it wouldn't fall and bust open. He knew no one wanted to grab all the crayons if they spilled out into the rest of the car, not even him!

He perked up, showing his mom that he was listening.

"You know how your brother is in a coma..."

He nodded. Yes, he knew, but his brother was tough! He'd get through it. He knew he would. He could feel it.

"And the doctors don't know if he'll ever wake up again."

He nodded again. Sure, but he was sure they were wrong. Doctors could be wrong, he knew this already. He knew they were wrong.

"So they were considering turning off his life support."

He was seven. He shouldn't know what that meant. But he was a smart seven year old. He knew-

"This is a family decision, so I wanted you to be the one to make the final call-"

He didn't have time to think beyond that he didn't want his brother to die before he yelled out-

"DONT TURN OFF HIS LIFE SUPPORT!"

He was panicked, but his mother just laughed.

"Ok, I'll let them know."

She didn't sound as panicked.

She didn't even sound concerned at all.

He slumped back against the seat, frowning, the crayons now forgotten, the paper set aside, untouched.

In the present, he was slumped against a wall, staring up at the ceiling, trying to regulate his breathing as the memory hit him like a truck.

[puppypilled-sheep-wife]

I know this really boring adult advice, but I've seen one too many "printers suck" jokes recently

1) Go to your local library! If they have computers, they probably have a printer you can use. My nearest ones charge pennies for prints.

2) If you need your own at home, for documents, get a cheap laser printer that *only* works by USB. Brother make a few models, They're less smart, so less likely to break.

2.1) Don't install their shitty proprietary software, if you're on Windows you can probably get away with a basic driver - and if you've got a scanner built in, try getting to grips with the "Fax and Scan" utility. It's a bit old, but it's basic and should just work.

[belalugosisdeadname]

Look, I also hate smart appliances. But reading through this, which apparently has 29k notes of people largely agreeing with it, is making me feel like I've lost my fucking mind. Your definition of "smart appliance" is "printer you can access via wifi"? That's basic printer functionality, and it has been for over a decade. If you need to boot up a special app (not counting like, drivers) to use your printer through its own stupid little interface, then yeah, that's a "smart printer", and it sucks. If your printer is checking your ink to make sure it's "official", then that also sucks. But being able to access your printer through the network is dumb printer shit at this point.

Also, I've never had just the wifi break on a printer. And if I did, I would probably get a new printer, even if I could still access it through USB. People in the replies recommending Brother printers? THOSE ARE WIFI ENABLED. Because again, that's been standard for years and years by now.

Look, I don't need my refrigerator to connect to the wifi. But I do need my printer to.

stumbled across some of my printer opinions that i don't recall writing but am correct about

[techalertr]

Download & Install Printer Drivers | EPSON | BROTHER | CANON etc. Drivers ⚙ Watch video on TECH ALERT yt https://youtu.be/kkzlfjWaHZ0

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[printer-software-support]

What does “Driver is unavailable” mean on my printer?

“Driver is unavailable” means your computer can’t communicate with the printer due to a missing, outdated, or corrupt driver. Go to the manufacturer’s site (like HP, Canon, or Brother) and download the latest driver for your model. Reinstalling the driver usually solves the issue. For Mac users, ensure your OS is up to date.

Need driver help? Techie Fixers can remotely install or repair printer drivers to get you printing again in minutes.

[medicinemane]

Mhh... I am... I'm just real tired all of a sudden of programs thinking they're better than me and that they can tell me to do a single god damn thing

Ok, backing up, yesterday one of the things during my long day out that I did was get myself added to my dad's banking account so it's easier to transfer to me if anything ever happens to him

The banker was fantastic, but the system hated me and hated my address, so he just asked if I could please email him some proof of address in the next 48 hours. All good here

I finally get the energy to deal with this stuff today, notice that most of my mail has my PO box on it, so I decide I'm gonna scan a water bill from the town and get my mom to send over a copy of the electric bill PDF

(We're going to ignore the ways it's frustrating to deal with my mom, and we'll just leave it at that I got an email a couple minutes ago saying that that was good enough verification. So forget all that, we're talking about software now)

So, first off my mom sends me an email with the pdf (letting it auto generate ai trash in the message, which I would simply not do)

The pdf was sent through adobe, as in adobe was in the url of the link to the pdf I was sent. Adobe didn't want to let me do a single thing without making an account, including downloading anything. Adobe can get bent on that

F12 and refresh, look in the media panel till I spy the jpgs of the pages I needed, open in new tabs, download that

I'm not letting you tell me what to do adobe

Second, we've got one of those brother printers which I like on the grounds of it being a laser printer instead of ink jet and not DRMing the toner the way ink jets do with ink

Even downloading the "brother I print&scan" was a pain (can't think of that without thinking of the riffing on the "brother I hurt people" monologue people have done). Don't hide it away, don't try and make me download drivers... give me the damn program I asked for

(Windows pops up to tell me that's not from the microsoft store and I tell it to get bent, I only let it do that to make it so malware has an alert it might trigger, but over all it's just in my way)

You know what I don't really like in my functional printing and scanning software? Ads

Piss off, no no no to everything you're saying to me, open up the scan function. Make me like you a lot less brother, you make an alright piece of hardware, but you don't this pisses me off at you, you know?

Then it's telling me how badly I need drivers and it's like... ok... but if I tell you no and close all your error messages will you scan what I wanted you to?

You did? Then sounds like I don't need drivers for what I want to do

Get bent software, I know better than you (especially you adobe, I will actively bypass you because I want your company to die and I didn't agree to work with you, I was expecting to just receive a pdf)

I just really hate software. I hate the culture around software. I may not like working with it and I may not be a programmer, but I find software "helping me" to often be in the way cause fun fact... I know what I want to do and it doesn't

I like dumb programs that do exactly what they were asked to and nothing else. I hate things that open up webpages I didn't ask for

So... that's some of my thoughts on software

Man it's good to be back and able to say this dumb stuff to you all

[a-very-disreputable-intj]

Some people watch sit-coms or stand up for entertainment. I call my brother and update him on the Newest Printer Crisis and watch him try to wrap his innocent little mind around the complete lack of any reasoning skills, one dime of common sense, or a just one braincell from the feral morons of the IT department at my job.

His head explodes.

Shout-out to Alan (yes, his real name), though, for having the lone braincell and sticking with me for FIVE FUCKING MONTHS to solve the printer problem. And I guess the other guy who reinstalled the driver properly like I told everyone needed to be done in the first place.

And I get a medal for making this everyone's problem until it was no longer mine!

[lianailia]

A lot has happened. I had a housewarming party. Which was great. Everyone came right away at the beginning pretty much. Except my uncle and friend. It was a lot cleaning for it and getting last minute things done and doing ten appts that week. AND having one toilet not be working. My brother came and put up some hooks for me for my workout bands and purse and stuff. He noticed the toilet wobbled. I said yeah. He said "oh, I can try and fix that!" I was in the other room and I hear crack and then swearing. Not good. Went in and the base cracked by the bolt. The porcelain. Yeeeah. I'm very thankful I have 2. So I call a plumbing place and they wanted over $500 for the toilet itself. Went to Home Depot and got it way cheaper. Then got it the Mon after my party. They said oh they'll call and set up a time to install. Great. They call when I'm at training. Oh, we don't do toilets, we are a bathtub installment dept. Um... so get home and see on the paper it said "bathtub" at the top. Then at the bottom said toilet. Someone did not do their job. Or just didn't double check. So I call the store back and they send me to the right people this time. Oy. But the next time is Fri. So I had a toilet in a box in my dining room for a few days. When they came they took it off and the ring was busted/corroded. They went and got the part and I didn't have to pay since I already was paying a lot for them to put it in. I just wanted it done.

Finally get it done. About a couple of weeks later, I notice it making a knocking noise sometimes. I call again and they never called me back. But dad came over to look at it. It was hitting the wall. *sigh* I felt stupid. I'm glad I didn't have them come out and then tell me that. Heh But that's done. Then, I have to get a new printer since mine is from 2011 and couldn't find my network. Okay. Go get the printer. Go to connect it following the link. I get a chat person right away. Then they said they'd call me. Okay... so he called and I said I wanted to install the printer. He says for them to take over the comp so they can install the drivers. Okay. They find out that there was a trojan virus on my laptop. He asked how many devices use my network. I say 5. He shows me there were 24 logged on to my IP. And then a ton of stuff that should not have been there. This happened awhile ago with my old laptop. But the firewall was not as expensive. And you would think the Lifetime with Medicare (which I have) would be cheaper? Nope. So I got the 3 yr. So I got a toilet and firewall for myself for Christmas! Yay adulting! Lol

I had Thanksgiving at my place yesterday. It went well except that I didn't have a cork screw, since I don't drink. But we got it open. Then my knife drawer got stuck and it is still catching on something. So I have to figure out what that is. But it was fun. And now my house is clean. Heh I wasn't going to be someone to get my Christmas stuff up the day after, but I wanted to. I didn't have a ton but had some pillows from Target. Going to get more delivered next week. I have a tiny tree and it's like stuffed, kind of? Because cat. Heh I was looking for ways to cat proof your tree. Someone built a cage to go around it. Someone made a tree for their cats to look like one. But this is great because it's not a lot of work. I still get to decorate my parents' tree. It'll be weird this yr not waking up there, having to go there in the morning. But it'll be good. Hope everyone has a good holiday or whatever holiday you celebrate.

[atplblog]

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[strjackst]

Inkjet Printing Market Report, Market Size, Share, Trends, Analysis By Forecast Period

The Inkjet Printing Market Report for 2024 provides a comprehensive overview of the Inkjet Printing market industry, presenting crucial data and insights into market dynamics, including growth drivers, challenges, and future potential. The report evaluates the Inkjet Printing Components, focusing on significant opportunities and trends that could shape the industry's trajectory. Key stakeholders such as CEOs, global managers, traders, and analysts will find value in the SWOT analysis, which assesses the competitive strengths, vulnerabilities, opportunities, and threats impacting market players.

According to Straits Research, the global Inkjet Printing Market  size was valued at USD 101.23 billion in 2023. It is projected to reach from USD 109.73 billion in 2024 to USD 209.43 billion by 2032, growing at a CAGR of 8.4% during the forecast period (2024–2032).

Get a Sample PDF/Excel of report starting from USD 995: https://straitsresearch.com/report/inkjet-printing-market/request-sample

Top Key Players of Inkjet Printing Market:

HP Development Company LP

Jet Inks Private Limited, Brother Industries Ltd

Xerox Corporation

Canon Inc.

Hitachi Industrial Equipment Systems Co. Ltd

Lexmark International Inc.

Videojet Technologies Inc.

Inkjet Inc.

Fujifilm Holdings Corporation

Regional Analysis for Inkjet Printing Market:

The regional analysis section of the report offers a thorough examination of the global Inkjet Printing market, detailing the sales growth of various regional and country-level markets. It includes precise volume analysis by country and market size analysis by region for both past and future periods. The report provides an in-depth evaluation of the growth trends and other factors impacting the Inkjet Printing markets in key countries, such as the United States, Canada, Mexico, Germany, France, the United Kingdom, Russia, Italy, China, Japan, Korea, India, Southeast Asia, Australia, Brazil, and Saudi Arabia. Moreover, it explores the progress of significant regional markets, including North America, Europe, Asia-Pacific, South America, and the Middle East & Africa.

Inkjet Printing Market Segmentations:

By Printer Type

Single functional Printers

Multi-functional Printers

Large Format Printers

Industrial Inkjet Printers

Textile Inkjet Printers

Inkjet Press

By Technology Type

Continuous Inkjet

Drop on Demand

By Substrate

Plastic

Metal

Paper

Fabric

Ceramic

Others

By Applications

Books/Publishing

Commercial Print

Advertising

Transaction

Labels

Packaging

Others

Get Detail Market Segmentation: https://straitsresearch.com/report/inkjet-printing-market/segmentation

Top Reasons to Choose This Report

Access to Comprehensive Insights: Gain access to extensive analysis, research, and data that are often challenging to gather independently. This report provides valuable information, saving you significant time and effort.

Support for Informed Decisions: Enhance your decision-making process with in-depth insights into market trends, consumer behavior, and key industry factors. This report is essential for strategic planning, including investments, product development, and marketing strategies.

Gain a Competitive Edge: Stay competitive by understanding market dynamics and competitor strategies. The report provides detailed insights into competitor performance and market trends, helping you craft effective business strategies.

Cost-Effective Research Solution: Save on research costs by investing in this report, which offers a detailed and comprehensive analysis of the market. This cost-effective option eliminates the need for extensive independent research.

COVID-19 Aftermath and Geopolitical Influences: Russia-Ukraine Conflict and Middle East Crisis

The report explores the multifaceted impact of COVID-19 on the Inkjet Printing market, covering both direct and indirect effects across global and local levels. It discusses market size, trends, and growth trajectories in the Inkjet Printing, classified by type, application, and customer sector. Additionally, it provides a detailed evaluation of market development components before and after the pandemic, supported by a PESTEL analysis to assess key influencers and barriers to market entry. We offer the flexibility to customize the report based on specific regions, applications, or any other statistical details. Our goal is to align our analysis with your specific needs, ensuring a more complete market study. The final report will also examine the impact of the Russia-Ukraine War on the Inkjet Printing market, assessing how these geopolitical events are influencing current market conditions and future opportunities.

This Report is available for purchase at: https://straitsresearch.com/buy-now/inkjet-printing-market

About Us:

Straits Research is a leading research and intelligence organization, specializing in research, analytics, and advisory services along with providing business insights & research reports.

Contact Us:

Email: sales@straitsresearch.com

Address: 825 3rd Avenue, New York, NY, USA, 10022

Tel: +1 646 905 0080 (U.S.)  +91 8087085354 (India)  +44 203 695 0070 (U.K.)

[mj2994-me-blog]

DTG Printer Market Market Analysis: Sales, Growth Drivers, and Restraints 2024-2032

DTG Printer Market Insights

Reed Intelligence has recently published a new report titled ""Global DTG Printer Market."" This comprehensive report delves into crucial aspects of the Bluetooth fingerprint scanner industry, offering valuable insights for both established and new market participants. It covers key factors such as market share, profitability, production, sales, manufacturing processes, advertising strategies, technological innovations, major industry players, and regional market breakdowns, among other important details.

Get Free Sample Report PDF @ https://reedintelligence.com/market-analysis/global-dtg-printer-market/request-sample

DTG Printer Market Share by Key Players

Kornit

Brother

Epson

Aeoon

RICOH

OmniPrint

M&R

Mimaki

ROQ

CNTOP

Durst Group

Sawgrass Technologies

SPGPrints

Kaiyuan

HongKe

The report also covers several important factors including strategic developments, government regulations, market analysis, and the profiles of end users and target audiences. Additionally, it examines the distribution network, branding strategies, product portfolios, market share, potential threats and barriers, growth drivers, and the latest industry trends.

DTG Printer Market Segmentation

The report on the Global DTG Printer Market offers a thorough segmentation by type, applications, and regions. It details production and manufacturing data for each segment over the forecast period from 2024 to 2032. The application segment focuses on the different uses and operational processes within the industry. Analyzing these segments will provide insights into the various factors contributing to market growth and their significance.

The report is segmented as follows:

Segment By Type

Industrial DTG Printers

Desktop DTG Printers

Segment By Application

Clothing & Apparel

Home Furnishing

Advertisement

Others

DTG Printer Market Segmentation by Region

North America

U.S

Canada

Europe

Germany

UK

France

Asia Pacific

China

India

Japan

Australia

South Korea

Latin America

Brazil

Middle East & Africa

UAE

Kingdom of Saudi Arabia

South Africa

Get Detailed Segmentation @ https://reedintelligence.com/market-analysis/global-dtg-printer-market/segmentation

The market research report on the Global DTG Printer Market has been thoughtfully compiled by examining a range of factors that influence its growth, including environmental, economic, social, technological, and political conditions across different regions. A detailed analysis of data related to revenue, production, and manufacturers provides a comprehensive view of the global landscape of the DTG Printer Market. This information will be valuable for both established companies and newcomers, helping them assess the investment opportunities in this growing market.

Key Highlights

The report delivers essential insights into the Global DTG Printer Market.

The report covers data for the years 2024-2032, highlighting key factors that impact the market during this period.

It emphasizes technological advancements, government regulations, and recent market developments.

The report will explore advertising and marketing strategies, examine market trends, and provide detailed analysis.

The report includes growth analysis and forecasts, with predictions extending up to the year 2032.

The report highlights a detailed statistical analysis of the key players in the market.

It presents a comprehensive and extensively researched overview of the market.

Buy DTG Printer Market Research Report @ https://reedintelligence.com/market-analysis/global-dtg-printer-market/buy-now

Contact Us:

Email: sales@reedintelligence.com

[ippnoida]

Fiery's DFE innovations at Printing United 2024

Fiery, an innovator of digital front ends (DFEs) for the print industry, is showcasing the future of digital printing at Printing United 2024 from 10-12 September in Las Vegas. Fiery’s products enable the exceptional color, customization, job speed, and efficiency that print businesses rely on every day, with superpowered solutions for cutsheet, industrial, packaging, sign and display, direct-to-film (DTF), direct-to-garment (DTG), and more.

At stand #C335, visitors can see how to harness the power of Fiery DFEs to boost productivity, enhance profitability, and grow businesses. 

“At Printing United 2024, we’re showcasing the Fiery products and technologies that drive the cutting edge of innovation across the print industry. From the award-winning Fiery Impress for industrial markets, to the industry’s leading workflows for DTF and DTG applications, to AI solutions that intelligently optimize your ink purchases, our award-winning products guarantee shorter learning curves, effortless automation, unified print room workflows, hassle-free customization, and the best possible color accuracy. For the results customers demand, the answer is clear: Fiery makes the difference,” said Toby Weiss, CEO, Fiery.  

Fiery Impress: Now available as a subscription-based, software-only DFE, Fiery Impress combines the streaming speed, image quality, brand color accuracy, and automation required to drive any high-speed inkjet press.   

Fiery Smart Estimator: Offering a cloud-based estimation of projected ink volumes and costs for a given print job, Fiery Smart Estimator provides vital information for print operators, sales personnel, and customer service representatives to optimize cost savings across a print run.  

Fiery Digital Factory drives Epson’s latest DTF/DTG printer: With custom drivers and print modes co-developed with Epson, Fiery’s Digital Factory RIP can now drive the new Epson SureColor F1070 DTF/DTG hybrid printer. 

Fiery solutions for DTF/DTG and wide-format applications: Driving DTF, DTG, sublimation, UV, and wide-format print and cut devices, Fiery solutions such as Digital Factory, SignLa, and EngraveLab make it easy to create highly customized specialty print products with vibrant colors, whiter whites, and true shape nesting that set your products apart from the competition.  

Fiery AI-driven workflows: AI technologies streamline print workflows while enabling employees of all skill levels to quickly and easily process a wide range of print jobs. Fiery InkWise utilizes AI to effortlessly streamline ink stock management and save vital time and money  with intelligent ink purchasing, while Fiery Ticketing Assistant leverages AI to automatically select job settings which match a client’s original requirements in terms of media selection, color management, copies, imposition, finishing, and more.  

Fiery color solutions:  Fiery Color Profiler Suite, Fiery Spot Pro and Fiery ColorGuard deliver integrated color management and color quality control in the print industry. Regardless of press manufacturer, Fiery’s color solutions help you monitor and optimize color quality to achieve stunning results every time.  

Fiery FreeForm Create: The upcoming version of this free VDP application provides a rich-text editor for complete control of variable text appearance, enables eye-catching colored barcodes, and offers full integration with Fiery JobFlow™ for an automated VDP creation workflow. 

Experience: Fiery’s innovations at partner booths including Brother, Canon, EFI, Fujifilm, Komori, Konica Minolta, Kyocera, Landa, Mimaki, Ricoh, RISO, Sharp, and Xerox.