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ducks-and-stuff · 9 months

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How to build a house; a comprehensive guide by Jimmy Solidarity.

You don’t, first of all. Build one that is. You steal one, and you go to the market for new locks, and you hope and pray that whoever owned this place before you doesn’t come poking around ever again. There’s Ivy on the walls now though, and the roof is partly collapsed over to the left over there, and everything is entirely overgrown so- it’s abandoned, the whole neighborhood looks very abandoned, so they’re probably not. And you’re alone. And it’s fine.

2. It’s fine. You take a dust coated broom from the closet and run the faucet until the rust colored water turns into something that looks drinkable and eat a couple canned peaches from the cellar. You look around at the barely habitable place around you and you fix it. You’re fixing it. You collect boards and nails for the ceiling, take the debris into the waste disposal at the nearest town, the quaint little one you passed on the way over. Kill a pregnant spider, and manage not to abandon the half baked plan of yours entirely when it’s babies subsequently explode everywhere. You do it, you’re doing it, and this is what success must feel like. You clean the bath, the sink, you hate the mirror but it’s okay because the water systems and most of the electrical sockets work. And then you’re done one day. It’s not exactly homely, but it’s a little livable, and when there is nothing left to clean, or salvage, or keep you occupied anymore there’s a queen sized bed in one of the bedrooms. And it is at that point that you look back on everything that has happened over the past year and who knows how long and realize that yes you are tired, and yes a nap sounds very nice. So you curl up into it, and sleep for a very, very, very long time.

3. Realize you were wrong. That’s what comes next You wake up, sit in silence for five minutes, and immediately realize that there’s more to do, isn’t there? There’s always more to do. It’s barely livable anyways and cottagecore? The great Jimmy Solidarity is not some fairy tale in the forest he’s- he’s- he’s the guy who plants a garden. Fixes the fence out back. Fill the empty space with work and work and work and it works. Get a heater, get a water filter, kill some of the cows outside in this lawless land because sheep and chicken and cattle are content to roam the streets apparently and store the meat in an icebox when the fridge randomly stops working. One mini-fridge, two mini-fridges, you are an unstoppable mini-fridge machine Solidarity. Good for you! What’s this? Whatever poor suckers lived here before only owned one of those old boxy tv’s with a twisted antennae? It hasn’t been the 90’s in several decades! Replace it, throw that thing down the cellar stairs and laugh like a maniac when you hear it shatter on the ground. It feels good. It has to feel good. Some weird, beautiful, twisted form of good. Throw more things down the stairs just to to chase that fleeting feeling. The twinkling of bells. Somehow the wall acquires a fist-shaped hole. Somehow your hand gets bruised. This place has everything but bandages, it doesn’t matter. You have a tub of ice cream next to the meat and Golden Girls plays on loop when you lie down to rot in the living room. Scream into the pillow.

4. You get a cat. You’re not supposed to get a cat. You know this. Getting attached to anything ever again is unhealthy, more people should learn this from you. The cat, obviously, does not care. It shows up one day, follows you home after you’ve had the bright idea to go farther than the front porch for some fresh air. Adventure and all that. The cat is probably tired of all the condescending cows roaming the landscape and so follows you home, and every time it leaves it inevitably comes back, and now it’s a cat and it’s yours. One that purs when you scratch it. One that curls up next to the heater sometimes early in the morning. Kills a mouse and presents it proudly at the room to your door. It likes golden girls too, because sometimes at night when bed is too far away it curls up next to you on the couch and you breathe in and out into its fur. The cat looks in your direction when you sit and awkwardly talk on the phone. You name it after a serial killer.

5. You work. You can’t- it was fine when it was just you there because, well, you didn’t matter all that much. Really. Just keep up appearances when going out and all was well. No-one asked questions. But now the damned cat is needy. Giving it some old frozen mini-pancakes was a bad plan actually, because he’s now got a taste for them and won’t leave it alone. Who has disgusting mini-pancakes just lying around anyways? This is England- you- you hope it’s England. Most people here have British accent anyways, but regardless, the cat wants mini-pancakes. You hate the cat for this, but you hate everything else too at this point so it’s fine. The cat- Norman, also has a bad habit of getting into places no matter the amount of sensible barriers are put up between him and the offending object. Walls? Squeeze around them. Windows? Finds another route. Doors? Nope. Magical teleporting cat winds up in the room anyways, which means now you have to clean the dangerous cellar stairs now too. Amazing. You go down there and get a piece of glass stuck in your foot in the process before the bright idea of wearing shoes presents itself. Cats eat meat and cat food, and milk isn’t healthy for them. Norman feeds himself a lot. It doesn’t matter. You used to head into town maybe once every two weeks. Now you do it more. There’s no set reason behind why but you’re blaming the cat anyways. So you get out more, and you have a cat and the cat jumps up onto the off-kilter dining room table to eat some of your meals. There is still no guide out on what to feel about all this. Someone who isn’t you should write a book. 6. You suck it up and hang their pictures on the wall. You don’t have many, but you have some in the backpack downstairs, and that first day of college with Grian and Martyn by your side looks down at you when you place it up in the entrance to the hallway. Grian is smiling cheekily, you are smiling with way too much enthusiasm, you pretend Martyn isn’t there. There are other photos too, all in that same hallway. Your arm around Big B. The property police station. The first day of Evo. A rare moment of you and Pearl wearing smiles that aren’t somewhat strained. So you hang them up, and you get them nice little frames because the photos themselves are crumpled and a little yellowed around the edges. At some point you point to them and say to Norman that these are his uncles and aunts and then pause before you explain why he’s never going to meet them. He steals some of your fish again. Nobody seems to care.

7. You cry a lot

8. You drink tea. You make a good attempt at baking Norman a birthday cake. The sun rises and you rise with it. You decorate a little bit with some stuff you’ve gathered from town and people who’s love language is gift giving. You breathe in. You breathe out. You tell yourself it’s going to be okay, really, and if it isn’t then at least you are trying your best. You stuff the note in the bedroom drawer, and hope that one day you will forget the words etched into the paper. You won’t, you know you won’t, but maybe pretending it will is just what progress looks like.

9. Joel comes over. He- he wants to see where you live. You told him a little about it, and now he wants to see it, because you might have been a little too honest and Joel gets too worried for his own good. Wild animals roaming in the street and all that. Not up to standard. You are Jimmy Solidarity, throw out the old standard and make a new one. Joel doesn’t acknowledge that joke, but he does stare wide eyed at the neighborhood you call home when you finally finish the bike up, and sends you a slightly panicked look you pretend not to see. It’s manageable. The stovetop works. It’s fine. Joel keeps his mouth shut politely all the way up until you enter that hallway, at which point he asks why the walls are so bare. But it’s for the best that you took those pictures down today, really, because had then he might have asked about the people in them, and you would have just gaped like a fish. So you shrug. And his face is scrunched up into the patented Joel ‘I’m very concerned’. stare. It fades when he sees the cat though. He’s more of a dog person himself but everyone’s a Norman person so it doesn’t really matter. You sit down, he pets the cat, you serve some tea with lemon, he wins at Monopoly. Then when it gets too late he tells you he’ll see you for the build battle on Monday, and hugs you goodbye. You tell him not to get eaten by the dangerous wild cows on the way down. You both smile.

10. Home doesn’t sound right. Is it supposed to? Probably. If you live there and all. If you’ve got a cat roommate and photos on the walls more often than not. If you’ve got a bunch of mini-fridges and fairy lights strung up in the bedroom and a little mosaic made up of shattered glass that shimmers when the sun hits it just right. So it’s home. It must be. But still… When Fwhip invites you to join empires you lock the door and pack your bags, and it is much easier than one might have initially considered to leave.

#jimmy solidarity #evo smp #mcyt #mcytblr #Wow guys look it’s that one au I have again #Jimmy and the importance of Saying Goodbye #AU

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multitec001 · 5 months

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The Unstoppable Hand Pruners: A Multitec Pruning Saw Review

Hand Pruning Saw Review - Calling all gardening gurus and tree-trimming titans! Guess what? The world has just gotten a breakthrough in the pruning tools sphere, and it's going to fundamentally change those bushy branches problem for you. Multitec, the saviors of pruning, now present their own kind of the Hand Pruning Saws– your best friends when cutting wood like it was a hot knife stabbing through butter.

Overview of Multitec's Hand Pruning Saws

Model

Size

Blade Material

Handle

HPS21

High Carbon Steel

TPE/PVC

HPS23

16"

High Carbon Steel

TPE/PVC

Triple-Cut Blade Technology: State-of-the-art Efficiency

Now, we know what you're thinking: “Another pruning saw? So what!” However, this is not an ordinary saw, my friend. Multitec Hand Pruning Saws with a triple-cut blade, which cuts both on the push and pull strokes, is capable of giving every slice the same smooth feel as a freshly shampooed mullet.

But wait, there's more! This is accomplished through the use of high quality, high carbon steel, which is harder than a witty come back. Farewell to the clunky, wimpy blades, and welcome smooth sailing cutting by getting those tools that will make you feel like a gardening guru.

Ergonomic Mastery: Where Power and Comfort Merge

We all are aware that gardening is a real exercise (or it should be at least). Hence, Multitec has done more than the rest in the market to guarantee that its hand pruning saws match their efficiency with comfortability.

By means of TPE/PVC handles fitted perfectly in your palm, you will be convinced that it is a tender caress rather than a bone crushing vice grip. Bye-bye blisters and hello hours of 'blessed' branch-slicing!

Compact and Convenient: Mobile Pruning Machines

However, the key distinguishing features of these saws are their compact and portable design. This doesn't matter whether you go for the 7-inch HPS21 or the large 16-inch HPS23 since it will not be troublesome for them to have a place in your gardening toolbox.

Say goodbye to the clumsiness of heavy saws that require so much space, you could fit a small kid inside it. Multitec's hand pruning saws are the perfect combination of power and portability, making them the ideal companions for any gardening adventure.

Making Every Job Easier - Whether You're a Pro or DIY Guru

At Multitec Tools, we cater to a wide spectrum of customers, each with their unique requirements and aspirations. Our products are built to support various industries, professions and lifestyles. Whether you are a seasoned professional, an avid amateur, or a homeowner on a budget, we have a selection that is right for you.

Professional Tradesmen and Contractors:

Carpenters, electricians, plumbers and other craftsmen can rely on our high-grade tools which are specially designed to overcome the toughest of jobs.

Both construction workers and contractors will surely recognize the incredible value of our tools in their large-scale tasks, thus guaranteeing excellence and efficiency.

Automotive and Mechanical Enthusiasts:

The auto mechanics, DIY car fanatics, bike mechanics will find our precise tools made for highly technical car and mechanical repairs an invaluable asset.

Our tools are made for harsh conditions and therefore ideal for automotive workshops and garages.

Gardeners and Landscapers:

Amateurs and professionals can take gardening to a higher level with the help of our ergonomic and environment-friendly garden tools.

From pruners to shovels, our tools are crafted to make outdoor jobs a no brainer while bringing in a positive impact on the environment.

DIYers and Home Improvement Enthusiasts:

Homeowners and do-it-yourselfers can be confident that the wide assortment of our tools are designed for all their home improvement and renovation needs.

Whether you're installing shelves, building furniture or doing minor renovations, our user-friendly tools will help you to create and take care of your desired home.

Hobbyists and Crafters:

Woodworkers, metalworkers and artists will find our precision tools invaluable when creating intricate projects and engaging in their artistic undertakings.

From delicate engraving tools to robust saws, our wide range of products is ideal for different hobbies and crafting needs.

About Hand Pruning Saw Safety

Now, we know what you're thinking: "But wait, aren't these things basically like tiny swords?" You're absolutely right, my watchful pal. These Hand Pruning Saws are not just sharp, they are sharper than what Edward Scissorhands would have as a kindergartner using safety scissors.

However, do not be afraid as Multitec has proven that it thinks ahead and thinks it through with supply. Each box comes with a warning to make sure the sharp blades are kept away from stray fingers and nosy children. First safety, pun intended (you know the drill).

Low-Maintenance Marvels: The "Maint-easy" manner.

Maintaining your Multitec hand pruning saw is just as quick and simple as remembering to water your artificial household plant (which I believe is that one we all own. Right?). After each use, just wipe it quickly with oil and a swipe, and it will be sharper than your mother-in-law's sarcastic remark.

Secret weapon number one, when it comes to storage then just simply tuck that bad boy away in a safe and dry place, and you will be good to go whenever you decide to take that war to those unruly branches. It's like having a handy easy-to-access companion, who is super-relatable and ready to join you in any plant-pruning fitness retreat.

Conclusion

Whether you are just a confirmed horticultural ailment or an expert who is just conscious about the garden activity, you will definitely find your favourite tool for cutting in the range of Multitec. Engineered with precision blades, ergonomic handles, and foolproof safety features, you'll soon be pruning and clipping your way into the lush garden you have always dreamed of.

CTA

Listen, don’t dwell on it. These hand saws of ours have eager customers to serve and their hedges to trim. So, let's cut to the chase (see what we did there? One last time, we promise): these are the real ones.

So, what are you waiting for? Grab one of these bad boys and get ready to show those unruly branches who's boss. Your garden (and your aching arms) will thank you later. Happy sawing, folks!

Visit for more at: Multitec Tools

#WireStripper #ScrewDriver #HexKey #HandTool #Gardentool #Agrotool #StainlessSteelTools #NippersMicroShears #Pilers #CableCutters #PowerBits

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sqinsights · 7 months

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The Unstoppable Rise of OSS and BSS: Tech World

From Geeky Acronyms to Mind-Boggling Market Numbers — Breaking Down the OSS and BSS Market Report

So, you stumbled upon this report on the Global OSS and BSS market, and your first thought was probably, “What on earth is OSS and BSS?” Well, fear not, fellow Earthling, because we’re about to take a joyride through the tangled web of Operations Support Systems (OSS) and Business Support Systems (BSS) without inducing a headache. Brace yourself; it’s going to be an exhilarating journey.

The Billion-Dollar Baby: OSS and BSS Market Size

Picture this: A whopping $52.5 billion in 2021, and now we’re on a rocketship headed straight for the moon, aiming for $126 billion by 2030. That’s like Elon Musk-level ambition, but for the tech-savvy communication service providers and enterprises out there.

Fasten your seatbelt; it’s going to be a wild ride.

OSS vs. BSS: The Battle of the Acronyms

In the left corner, we have OSS (Operations Support Systems) — the unsung hero focusing on network management, service fulfillment, and service assurance. In the right corner, meet BSS (Business Support Systems) — the cool kid on the block, handling customer management, revenue management, and product management. It’s like the Avengers, but for your telecom needs.

Who would win in a dance-off? We’re not sure, but the market says BSS is growing faster at 11.27% CAGR.

Market Magic: Playing with Numbers Across Continents

North America, the land of tech dreams, is dominating the game with a mature telecom landscape. Meanwhile, Asia-Pacific is the fastest-growing region, probably fueled by the relentless pursuit of the latest gadgets and the need for even faster internet (cue 5G).

If the tech market were a race, North America just lapped Asia-Pacific for the umpteenth time.

OSS and BSS: The Love Story with Components and Deployment

Components are the building blocks, and deployment models are the blueprints. OSS (10.025 $Bn) and BSS (8.354 $Bn) are like the Batman and Robin of the tech world, saving the day with On-Premises and Cloud-Based deployments.

For More Information: https://www.skyquestt.com/report/oss-and-bss-market

Imagine them fighting crime together — Cloud-Based swooping down from the digital skies.

End-User Drama: CSPs and Enterprises Taking the Spotlight

Communication Service Providers (CSPs) have been ruling the show, embracing OSS and BSS for operational efficiency and customer love. But wait, Enterprises are stealing the spotlight, recognizing the digital transformation game and joining the OSS and BSS party.

Move over CSPs; Enterprises want a piece of the digital pie too.

OSS and BSS: Driving Forces and Roadblocks

Revolutionizing industries through digital transformation is the hero’s journey. However, beware the villains — high initial implementation costs and the dreaded interoperability issues that could slow down even the mightiest of enterprises.

In the tech world, not everything is sunshine and rainbows; sometimes it’s just software updates and compatibility issues.

Competitive Landscape: A Battle Royale with Nerds

The tech giants like Amdocs, Huawei, Nokia, and Ericsson are in an intense rivalry. Picture them in a gladiator arena, armed with partnerships, collaborations, and strategic alliances. Mergers and acquisitions? Oh, that’s just their way of flexing in the tech coliseum.

Tech giants battling it out — who knew coding could be so dramatic?

Recent Developments: Where Tech Meets Soap Opera

Amdocs ditched its acquisition plans like a bad date, and Ericsson’s acquisition of Cradlepoint sounds like a strategic alliance straight out of a tech romance novel.

Tech companies have drama too — who would’ve thought?

Key Market Trends: From Sci-Fi to Reality

AI and machine learning are the superheroes swooping in, making OSS and BSS smarter. The rise of 5G is the blockbuster, demanding efficient OSS and BSS solutions. It’s like tech meets sci-fi, but in real life.

In a world where AI meets telecom, data analytics and real-time insights are the superheroes we need.

Final Thoughts: The Tech Odyssey Continues

The OSS and BSS market is a thrilling rollercoaster, with tech giants, acronyms, and mind-boggling numbers. So, buckle up, fellow Earthlings; the tech odyssey continues. And remember, in the world of OSS and BSS, the only constant is change, and maybe a dash of humor too.

About Us-

SkyQuest Technology Group is a Global Market Intelligence, Innovation Management & Commercialization organization that connects innovation to new markets, networks & collaborators for achieving Sustainable Development Goals.

SkyQuest Technology Consulting Pvt. Ltd.

1 Apache Way,

Westford,

Massachusetts 01886

USA (+1) 617–230–0741

Email- [email protected]

Website: https://www.skyquestt.com

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market-spy · 7 months

Text

The Unstoppable Rise of OSS and BSS: Tech World

From Geeky Acronyms to Mind-Boggling Market Numbers — Breaking Down the OSS and BSS Market Report

The Billion-Dollar Baby: OSS and BSS Market Size

Fasten your seatbelt; it’s going to be a wild ride.

OSS vs. BSS: The Battle of the Acronyms

Who would win in a dance-off? We’re not sure, but the market says BSS is growing faster at 11.27% CAGR.

Market Magic: Playing with Numbers Across Continents

If the tech market were a race, North America just lapped Asia-Pacific for the umpteenth time.

OSS and BSS: The Love Story with Components and Deployment

For More Information: https://www.skyquestt.com/report/oss-and-bss-market

Imagine them fighting crime together — Cloud-Based swooping down from the digital skies.

End-User Drama: CSPs and Enterprises Taking the Spotlight

Move over CSPs; Enterprises want a piece of the digital pie too.

OSS and BSS: Driving Forces and Roadblocks

In the tech world, not everything is sunshine and rainbows; sometimes it’s just software updates and compatibility issues.

Competitive Landscape: A Battle Royale with Nerds

Tech giants battling it out — who knew coding could be so dramatic?

Recent Developments: Where Tech Meets Soap Opera

Amdocs ditched its acquisition plans like a bad date, and Ericsson’s acquisition of Cradlepoint sounds like a strategic alliance straight out of a tech romance novel.

Tech companies have drama too — who would’ve thought?

Key Market Trends: From Sci-Fi to Reality

In a world where AI meets telecom, data analytics and real-time insights are the superheroes we need.

Final Thoughts: The Tech Odyssey Continues

About Us-

SkyQuest Technology Consulting Pvt. Ltd.

1 Apache Way,

Westford,

Massachusetts 01886

USA (+1) 617–230–0741

Email- [email protected]

Website: https://www.skyquestt.com

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shristisahu · 9 months

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"Revolutionizing Marketing Success: The Transformative Influence of AI and ML on Attribution"

Originally Published on: QuantzigMarketing Attribution: How AI for Marketing Changes the Game

Subtitle: Navigating the Future with Precision-Driven Marketing Attribution

In the dynamic landscape of modern marketing, the advent of artificial intelligence (AI) has sparked a revolutionary shift, fundamentally reshaping the way businesses approach attribution. This article delves into the groundbreaking realm of AI and machine learning (ML) in marketing attribution, providing insights into how these technologies empower organizations to unravel customer behavior secrets and propel brands to unprecedented heights of success.

Make the most of your data! Connect with us for tailor-made solutions.

Challenges in traditional marketing attribution methods: Traditional marketing attribution methods face significant challenges in the modern era, hindering businesses from realizing the full potential of their campaigns.

Limited Visibility:

Traditional methods often fail to offer a comprehensive view of the customer journey, leaving crucial touchpoints unnoticed and essential data overlooked.

Single-Touchpoint Bias:

Attribution methods may credit the last interaction alone, ignoring other crucial decision-making factors in the customer's journey.

Data Fragmentation:

Disparate data sources create a fragmented landscape, making it challenging to analyze and consolidate information cohesively.

Resource-Intensive and Time-Consuming:

Manual data processing in traditional methods is time-consuming and resource-intensive, slowing down decision-making and hindering campaign optimization.

AI and ML Transforms Marketing Attribution: Unveiling the Game-Changers

Data-driven precision: AI's influence on marketing attribution is an unstoppable force in the competitive marketing world. By leveraging AI and ML capabilities, businesses gain access to a data-driven revolution that transforms decision-making. Machine learning algorithms shed light on vast customer data, attributing conversions with laser precision. This understanding of customer behavior allows targeted campaigns tailored to individual preferences, overcoming challenges faced by traditional attribution methods due to cookie use and tracking regulations.

Multi-touchpoint Attribution: AI and ML elevate marketing attribution through multi-touchpoint analysis, providing a holistic view of the conversion path. This innovative approach enables businesses to understand the complex interactions between marketing channels and customers. Insights gained optimize marketing campaigns for every stage of the customer journey, ensuring resources are efficiently allocated for maximum impact.

Campaign A/B Testing: AI and ML redefine A/B testing, ushering in a new era of data-backed experimentation. Businesses can conduct robust tests with precision and speed, gathering real-time insights for strategy optimization. AI's analytical prowess swiftly identifies winning variations, allowing marketers to fine-tune content, design, and targeting for maximum impact.

Marketing compliance: AI and ML revolutionize marketing compliance, automating checks to ensure adherence to legal and ethical guidelines. Advanced algorithms detect fraudulent activities, preventing misleading or deceptive practices. Embracing AI ensures effortless navigation of marketing complexities, instilling trust with customers and positioning brands as responsible leaders.

Conclusion: In conclusion, AI and ML redefine marketing attribution, unleashing data-driven precision that transforms success. Multi-touchpoint analysis reveals intricate details of the customer journey, optimizing strategies for maximum impact. Real-time insights and predictive analytics drive agile decision-making, propelling businesses ahead. Embracing AI ensures compliance and builds trust through transparent practices. Seize the power of AI and ML, paving the path to unrivaled success as businesses embrace the dawn of a new era in marketing attribution.

Success Story: How We Transformed Marketing Attribution for a Global Retail Giant with AI and ML

Our recent client, a leading global e-commerce retailer, faced challenges in determining effective touchpoints in their customer journey. Lacking accurate attribution, their marketing strategies lacked optimization, leading to suboptimal ROI and limited customer engagement.

Challenges:

Limited Visibility: Difficulty in identifying influential touchpoints.

Inefficient Resource Allocation: Struggling to allocate resources effectively.

Real-time Optimization: Needed the ability to adapt strategies in real-time.

Solutions: Quantzig, a leading data analytics and AI-driven solutions provider, revolutionized the client’s marketing attribution with AI and ML.

Multi-Touchpoint Analysis:

Implemented advanced AI algorithms for accurate attribution across multiple touchpoints.

Real-Time Insights:

Empowered the client with real-time actionable insights for agile optimization.

Predictive Analytics:

ML-driven predictive analytics guided proactive strategies for better ROI.

Personalization at Scale:

Leveraged AI and ML for hyper-personalized experiences, enhancing customer engagement and loyalty.

Impact Delivered:

Attribution Accuracy Improved by 25%

ROI boost of 30%

Real-time Responsiveness improved by 40%

Customer Engagement Upsurge by 20%

Are you ready to revolutionize your marketing attribution and achieve extraordinary results? Embrace the power of AI and ML-driven solutions with Quantzig and unlock the full potential of your marketing efforts. Connect with us for tailor-made solutions.

#AIMarketingRevolution

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review-with-metul · 1 year

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WiFi Profits AI Review - My Honest Opinion

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globaljobalert-blog · 1 year

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Affiliate Marketing Manager - Remote

Company: Parity Parity is one of the world's most experienced core blockchain infrastructure companies, having built and pioneered some of the most advanced technologies in the blockchain sector. Parity was founded by Dr. Gavin Wood, co-founder and former CTO of Ethereum, the primary engineer behind the Ethereum Virtual Machine (EVM), inventor of the Solidity programming language, and primary author of the Ethereum Yellowpaper. Based in Berlin, London, and Lisbon with over 340 employees worldwide, Parity has built clients for Ethereum, Bitcoin, and Zcash and has pioneered a completely new, next-generation blockchain protocol with Polkadot and the framework it’s built with, Substrate. Parity builds the open-source technologies needed to power an unstoppable, decentralised web—known as Web3—and helps developers and organisations implement and build upon the Web3 tech stack. About the team: We are seeking an experienced and motivated Affiliate Marketing Manager to drive growth through various marketing channels. The Affiliate Marketing Manager will be responsible for driving affiliate program growth, managing relationships with affiliates, and monitoring affiliate performance. The successful candidate will have a deep understanding of affiliate marketing, be able to develop creative strategies to engage affiliates, and possess strong analytical skills to measure and optimize program performance. This position reports to the Director of Marketing and requires a deep understanding of partner ecosystems and channel marketing. About the position: - Build and manage relationships with key partners and ensure alignment with our marketing and business objectives - Collaborate with cross-functional teams to develop partner messaging, collateral, and other materials - Develop and maintain a deep understanding of affiliate needs and market trends, and use this knowledge to drive partner engagement and adoption of Polkadot - Work closely with the Business Development team to align on affiliate marketing campaigns with business partners - Represent Parity and Polkadot at industry events, conferences, and partner summits - Develop and implement affiliate marketing strategies to drive program growth - Work with internal teams to develop marketing materials and promotions for affiliates - Help the affiliates strengthen their own marketing capabilities, and work with internal teams to help amplify their announcements to gain traction About you: - Bachelor's degree in marketing, business, or a related field - 5+ years of experience in partner marketing, affiliate marketing, channel marketing, or related fields - Strong track record of developing and executing successful affiliate marketing programs and campaigns - Ability to build and maintain strong relationships with internal and external stakeholders - Proven ability to work independently and as part of a team in a fast-paced, dynamic environment - Proven track record of managing successful affiliate programs and driving revenue growth - Experience with affiliate marketing platforms and tools - Strong analytical skills, including proficiency in Excel or similar tools - Experience working in technology, software, or related industries is preferred. - Familiarity with Web3: You understand key Web3 concepts and are familiar with the main players in the space. Bonus experience with Polkadot and know the ecosystem. About working for us: For everyone who joins us: - Competitive remuneration packages, including tokens (where legally possible), based on iterative market research - Remote-first, global working environment with flexible hours - Collaborative, fast-paced, and self-initiating culture, designed to mimic an open source workflow - Energising and collaborative team and company retreats all over the world - Opportunity to learn more about Web3 while on the job, with access to some of the brightest minds in this space; we have plenty of educational initiatives such as internal sessions, all-hands, AMAs, hackathons, etc. - Teammates who are genuinely excited about their job, impact, and Parity’s mission - Opportunity to relocate to Germany or Portugal For those joining us as employees in Germany, Portugal, or the U.K.: - 28 paid vacation days per year - Work laptop (macOS or Linux-based) and equipment to enable you to work successfully - £2,500 yearly learning and development budget for conferences or courses of your choice Not a perfect match to our requirements? We're still excited to receive your application and hear how you think you can help us achieve our mission. APPLY ON THE COMPANY WEBSITE To get free remote job alerts, please join our telegram channel “Global Job Alerts” or follow us on Twitter for latest job updates. Disclaimer: - This job opening is available on the respective company website as of 5thJuly 2023. The job openings may get expired by the time you check the post. - Candidates are requested to study and verify all the job details before applying and contact the respective company representative in case they have any queries. - The owner of this site has provided all the available information regarding the location of the job i.e. work from anywhere, work from home, fully remote, remote, etc. However, if you would like to have any clarification regarding the location of the job or have any further queries or doubts; please contact the respective company representative. Viewers are advised to do full requisite enquiries regarding job location before applying for each job. - Authentic companies never ask for payments for any job-related processes. Please carry out financial transactions (if any) at your own risk. - All the information and logos are taken from the respective company website. Read the full article

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bookmytalent · 2 years

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What Is the Trend of Python Developer Salary in 2023

Python was incepted in 1991 by Guido Van Russom and since then it has evolved and adapted to new technologies. In fact, today it is one of the most popular programming languages among developers and people learning to code. Due to its increasing demand and job roles, companies must always follow the trend while deciding the salary of a Python developer.

You’re probably mystified about Python’s popularity as a programming language. To that end, the following statistics will help you in eliminating any doubts:

The annual Stack Overflow Developer survey, which reveals interesting developer insights, has released a report on Python’s popularity. Among all respondents, Python was chosen by 48.07% of professionals and people learning to code. This makes it the world’s third most popular programming language.

According to the TIOBE index in August 2022, Python ranked first among other languages such as Java, C, C++, and C#.

According to such assessments, Python is gaining tremendous popularity and appears to be unstoppable. In fact, it is difficult to find a programming field where Python is not widely used nowadays.

This makes it critical for employers and hiring managers to remain updated on the salary trends of Python developers. In this blog, we will go over every aspect that a company should consider when determining a Python developer’s salary.

Skills to Look for When Deciding the Salary of a Python Developer?

Knowing what skills Python candidates are proficient in helps a lot in deciding how much to pay. Salary paid to the Python developers based on their skills motivates them to work efficiently and effectively for your organization. And for that, knowing the area of expertise of a Python programmer is a must.

Let’s talk about those skills one-by-one:

Expert at Debugging:

Remember the days when while working over something you expect a certain result but rather get a different outcome? The same happens with Python developers.

Python is widely regarded as an easy-to-learn and beginner-friendly programming language. However, there are times when you anticipate receiving a different output than the one you received.

As a result, knowing how to debug is extremely important for python developers. Debugging can be accomplished by simply printing out variable values, modifying the program’s path, stopping the execution of some events, and using a debugger.

Accustomed to Python Framework:

Python has a plethora of frameworks, each with its own set of pros and cons. Python framework simplifies developers’ tasks by making pre-written code available to them. This saves them not only time and money but also reduces the time to market.

Unlike library, where a developer needs to know about each functionality to execute a specific operation, with frameworks it becomes comparatively simple owing to the structured control of the flow.

Object Relational Mapper:

ORMs (Object Relational Mappers) are a type of library that facilitates the transfer of data from a relational database to Python objects. It generates a virtual object database that can be accessed from within the Python (or other) programming language.

The most significant advantage of using an ORM library is that it saves time by allowing you to switch to another relational database when necessary.

Developers can build and update data schemas in Python code rather than SQL by using ORMs.

Python Libraries:

It is an open-source programming language. This means that Python already has a large collection of libraries that make development easier for programmers.

Python has over 267,000 projects. As a result, whenever a programmer intends to design something or is stuck in the middle of a project, they can access all of these libraries containing necessary documentation and guidance.

Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning:

There is almost no way to avoid Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning in today’s world. Even simple web apps can benefit from these cutting-edge technologies.

This is especially important when working with Python in the context of data science. As there you might need to work with data visualization, data collection, neural networks, and data analysis.

Acknowledging front-end technologies:

Many times, a Python developer needs to work with the front-end team to match the server-side and client side. To do so, you’ll need to be familiar with Python’s three primary front-end markup languages; HTML5, CSS3, and JavaScript.

Python’s parsers, compilers, and transpilers are excellently capable of producing all these three markup languages.

Python Developer Salary Based on Their Experience

There are roughly 26.9 million software developers worldwide. Of that total, 8.2 million are Python developers, outnumbering the 7.6 million Java developers worldwide.

Given such a large number, a programmer’s experience is critical in deciding who to hire and how much to pay them.

A Python programmer’s salary in India varies depending on their level of knowledge and experience.ENTRY-LEVEL ₹ 4,27,293 p.aMID-LEVEL₹ 9,09,818 p.aEXPERIENCED₹ 1,150,000 p.a

Python Salary Depending on the Type of Recruitment

Today, the concept of employment has changed. Now getting a job doesn’t mean you have to stay in the office and work for long hours. Freelancing, remote jobs, and other types of jobs have entered the market. Knowing about them also plays an important role in deciding the salary of a Python developer.

As per Naukri, a remote Python developer can expect to earn between ₹450,000 and ₹700,000 per year.

As per Glassdoor, the average monthly salary for a Freelancer Python Developer is ₹40,000.

According to Indeed, the average annual salary for a full-time Python Developer in India is ₹8,08179.

Python Developer Salaries According to Location

The salary you obtain varies greatly depending on where you live. Python Developers in Bangalore earn 21% more than those in other cities, while those in Gurgaon earn 26% more than the rest of the country. Chennai, Pune, and Hyderabad are among the lowest-paid Python Developers in India. Mumbai₹5,79,728 p.aChennai₹5,40,131 p.aBengaluru₹669,787 p.aGurugram₹7,00,717 p.a

Salary of a Python Developer Depending on Job Roles

Here is an average salary for a Python developer’s different job roles. However, keep in mind that these figures may differ depending on the company for which you work.Web Developer₹ 3,07,800 p.aData Scientist₹ 7,08,012 p.aSoftware Engineer₹ 5,02,609 p.aDevOps Engineer₹ 6,58,143 p.aMachine Learning Engineer₹ 6,71,548 p.a

Here we have thoroughly discussed the factors to consider when determining a Python developer’s salary. Now you must be thinking about why and how to hire a Python developer. To get a detailed answer to this question you can go through our blog on the same topic.

However, if you want to know where you can hire Python developers, then you are on the right website. As previously discussed in this blog, various types of jobs have emerged in the recent past. And of them, remote hiring is gaining popularity. In fact, it is even believed that working from home is going to be the future of work.

In that case, BMT is a platform through which you can hire a vast talent pool of certified developers from around the world. Let us collaborate to find you a top Python programmer within your budget and without sacrificing talent quality.

Visit the official website of BookMyTalent and start the hunt.

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primorcoin · 2 years

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New Post has been published on https://primorcoin.com/decentralized-domain-services-reflect-on-industry-progress/

Decentralized domain services reflect on industry progress

The rise of Web3 functionality has been a boon for decentralized domain name services over the past two years, with millions of blockchain-based domains registered to date. Challenging market conditions may have hampered exponential growth, but industry leaders believe that utility-driven adoption will continue in the future.

Web3 is fundamentally changing how businesses, brands and retailers serve customers, who are taking full control of their data, wallets and online identity courtesy of blockchain ecosystems like Ethereum.

Decentralized domain names are valuable tools for users and businesses to integrate with Web3 functionality. From providing human-readable names that replace numerical wallet addresses to serving as a decentralized profile across the Web3 ecosystem, decentralized domains offer an alternative to conventional domain services.

Ethereum Name Service (ENS) and Unstoppable Domains are the two most prominent platforms serving the space, having a combined six million-plus domain registrations since their respective inceptions. Both services saw significant increases in newly minted domains through 2021 and 2022.

Cointelegraph reached out to a handful of decentralized domain name platforms to gauge the current state of the industry, who is leading registrations and what the future holds.

2022 in review

2022 proved to be a massive year for both ENS and Unstoppable Domains, with both firms highlighting some key metrics from the year in correspondence with Cointelegraph.

ENS is a distributed, open, extensible naming system that runs on the Ethereum blockchain. It maps human-readable names like “alice.eth” to machine-readable data like cryptocurrency addresses and URLs.

ENS emulates the conventional Domain Name Service (DNS) by using dot-separated hierarchical names, commonly known as domains, with the owner of a domain controlling both it and any subdomains. An ENS domain is effectively a nonfungible token (NFT) that serves as an Ethereum wallet address, cryptographic hash or website URL.

ENS developer Makoto Inoue said that the platform’s official registered domain total was 2.8 million as of January 2023, excluding any reregistered names after expiry. When including subdomains and DNS names, that number rises to 3.9 million — excluding off-chain names like Coinbase’s in-house cb.id domain solution for wallets and decentralized identities.

Nora Chan, vice president of communications at Unstoppable Domains, unpacked the premise of the blockchain-based domain name service. Unstoppable Domains offers Web3 domains on Polygon with no gas fees, providing an affordable way for users to establish a secure and portable identity for Web3.

The domains can be bridged to Ethereum and used for various purposes, such as sending and receiving cryptocurrency, logging in to hundreds of apps and metaverses, building decentralized websites and constructing a Web3 identity.

The platform has registered and minted 3.1 million domains to date, with 1.2 million registered in 2022 alone.

Measuring growth in a bear market

Both Inoue and Chan reflected on the bearish market conditions of 2022 and offered varying views of its effect on decentralized domain registrations. Depressed market conditions were actually a boon to ENS registrations, as Inoue explained:

“During the bull market, high gas fees actually hindered the growth of ENS because a .eth registration was costing somewhere between $50–$100 when a one-year annual registration is only $5/year.“

But as gas fees have slowly reduced, it is becoming more affordable to register ENS names. Inoue also noted that the discovery of “categories influenced the growth of 2022 ENS registrations.”

This included the minting of ENS domains based on a list of names with common traits like the “10K Club,” which are four-digit domain names from 0000.eth to 9999.eth; and genesis-era ENS domains, which are a select group of ENS names minted before June 2017 — preceding the advent of the popular CryptoPunks NFT collection.

Meanwhile, Chan conceded that the rate of registrations with Unstoppable Domains slowed in 2022. Nevertheless, the 1.2 million domains registered in 2022 still account for more than a third of its total domain list.

Third-party integration

Companies, brands and users are becoming increasingly familiar with Web3 functionality. Using a decentralized domain, users can carry their complete digital ID with them, pay for items on an e-commerce site, and collect NFT versions or extras linked to specific real-world products.

As more of these services plug into Web3, ENS and Unstoppable Domains provide the infrastructure for businesses and users to enter this new paradigm.

For ENS, the rise of Coinbase’s high-profile cb.id subdomain integration was the biggest third-party service integration story, according to Inoue.

The Cross-Chain Interoperability Protocol (CCIP) is a universal standard for developers to create services and applications that can transact and send information actions across multiple networks. The ENS developer said CCIP Read provides a way to store ENS names outside the Ethereum layer 1, lowering overall gas costs.

Chan highlighted that despite the recent cryptocurrency bear market, Unstoppable Domains’ extensive footprint of integrations includes partners like Brave, Opera, Trust Wallet and Etherscan. The firm has also launched various Web3 top-level domains — including .x, .nft, .wallet and .crypto — with mainstream brands and companies.

Unstoppable Domains’ work with Blockchain.com saw the creation of its .blockchain top-level Web3 domain, unlocking a potential 83 million users of Blockchain.com who might be looking for a customizable .blockchain domain or human-readable wallet address.

What does 2023 have in store?

Subdomain registrations could surge in 2023 if Inoue’s prediction is correct. The ENS developer told Cointelegraph that ongoing development could give users more control of subdomains:

“2023 will see a surge of subdomain registrations. This will be driven by the release of ‘Name Wrapper,’ a feature to turn subdomains into NFTs (currently only .eth is NFTs), allowing the community to sell and transfer subdomains much more easily.”

Inoue also highlighted subdomain integrations with the likes of Coinbase as an adoption driver, making ENS names more accessible to users. It also lowers gas costs to interact with the Ethereum protocol, “making it resistant to the bull market gas surge.”

While the registration of these subdomains doesn’t bring direct revenue to the ENS organization itself, Inoue said they drive the overall adoption and usefulness of the protocol within the Web3 ecosystem.

Chan said focusing on creating more utility, building partnerships and improving the user experience of the service would be key to continued adoption this year.

An alternative view

Cointelegraph also spoke to PeerName founder and CEO Vasil Toshkov, whose platform was founded in 2014, selling .bit domains based on Namecoin. The platform now sells a handful of Emercoin blockchain domains — including .coin, .bazar, .lib and .emc — and currently manages around 8,000 domains.

Toshkov said that PeerName sells “truly decentralized domains” for working websites and does not offer NFT domains nor centrally managed services. It previously sold a more comprehensive array of domains from different platforms but now focuses on decentralized practical applications.

PeerName sold around 700 domains in 2022, with Toshkov highlighting increased competition and high fees at the end of the bull market as key challenges:

“Our business performs much better during a bear market. Then, the competition with fake domains disappears. Fees are low, and users can pay seamlessly. We also only have users who buy domains to use, not as speculation.”

The most sold domains on PeerName include .bit, .coin and .onion. The latter domain is not blockchain-based but is used within the Tor browser and client system. Toshkov believes that the possibility of .bit domains also being integrated into the Tor project and browser could drive adoption.

“If this happens, the interest in them will be huge. These are the first and most decentralized blockchain-based domains. Kind of like Bitcoin, but for domains,” he said.

Cointelegraph has previously explored the prevalence of domain “hijacking” and “squatting,” which is driven by speculative users that register domains bearing well-known brands or names.

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#Blockchain #BTC #Coinbase #coinbaseNews #CryptoNews #Blockchain News #CryptoPress

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bondtrust · 2 years

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Two point hospital jumbo edition switch

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Information collected is aggregated and anonymous. and Two Point Studios announced that they will launch the home game version of the JUMBO Edition operating simulation game Double Po. These cookies enable us to provide better services based on how users use our website, and allow us to improve our features to deliver better user experience. Marketing Cookies are placed by third-party providers with our permission, and any information collected may be shared with other organizations such as publishers or advertisers. These cookies are used to deliver advertisements that are more relevant to you and your interests. We use the information collected to evaluate and improve the performance of your shopping experience. They also enable use of the Shopping Cart and Checkout processes, assist in regulatory and security issues, measure traffic and visits, and retrieve order information for affiliate commissions. These cookies are required to use core website features and are automatically enabled when you use the site. You can use this interface to enable or disable sets of cookies with varying functions. Once you’ve conquered an illness, research improved cures and machines and turn your hospital into an unstoppable healthcare juggernaut.We use data cookies to store your online preferences and collect information. In this world, you’ll experience all kinds of unusual illnesses from Light-headedness to Cubism – each requiring their very own special type of treatment machine.ĭiagnose illnesses, build the right rooms to handle them, hire the right staff, and then get ready, because curing just one of these illnesses is just the beginning. Place decorative and functional items around your hospital to improve its prestige, lower patient boredom, increase happiness and keep those end of year awards flowing in.ĭon’t expect Two Point County to be populated with your usual types of patients. (For delivery address in Saudi Arabia, South Africa or United Arab Emirates. Expand your hospital to multiple buildings as you look to get as many patients through the door as possible. Switch Game Two Point Hospital JUMBO EDITION. Optimise your hospital design to increase patient (and cash) flow, arranging corridors, rooms and waiting areas to your exact specifications.

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Includes: Bigfoot, Pebberley Island, Close Encounters and Off the Grid full expansions, plus the Retro Items Pack and Exhibition Items Pack.īuild, cure and improve! Design and build your own hospital!īuild up a hospital from nothing to a masterpiece as you design the most beautiful – or functional – healthcare operation in the whole of Two Point County. Two Point Hospital Jumbo Edition for Nintendo SwitchBUILD - Your unique hospital & design it just as you like Place decorative objects and improve. Includes over 189 bizarre illnesses, a huge array of cure machines bursting with personality, and loads and loads of items to place in your hospitals!

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tekstack · 3 years

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Build an unstoppable Marketing Machine

Tekstack will help you move from an owner-led sales strategy, to building a predictable sales funnel using a three stage process rooted in B2B Best Practices

https://www.tekstack.com/marketing-as-a-service/

#Build an unstoppable Marketing Machine #tekstack

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aka-irish · 4 years

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Apex Legends: The Top Predator Part 1

A cough can be heard as a pair of large metal doors slide open, a bespectacled older man in a lab coat with combed back white walks through with a few military-esque soldiers clad in a black armor, holding assault rifles trails behind him. Another man dressed in a dark grey military garb with various silver and gold medals pinned to his suit can be seen staring at a bunch of monitors, displaying the legendary Apex Games. "Doctor Traxler, thank you for meeting me here today." The doctor removes his glasses, giving them a quick breath and wipe with his shirt before putting them back on. "Colonel Braxton, thank you for inviting me into this...most interesting opportunity." Colonel Braxton points to the monitors, "I love these games, Doctor. But I feel we need to really shake things up. New competitors keep climbing aboard and accepting the challenge, but I feel the competition has become stagnant. The new girl Rampart is quite exciting but soon shall she grow old with the world as well. With the Syndicate scouring for new players, I feel now would be a great opportunity for our organization to come up with a perfect solution, test the might of the competitors and bring forth a combatant of our own. But alas, I feel we need to...start from scratch. Basically, what I am implying here, Doctor, is that we create our own competitor, someone that the Syndicate and Apex games cannot find an answer for." Doctor Traxler strokes his chin, pondering the offer. "And you want me to create a being...a whole person...or something akin...to place in the games to rival the Syndicate?" asks the doctor. "Yes" says Colonel Braxton dryly. "Then what would you suggest, Colonel?" asks the doctor. "I say we collect information of the combatants, learn weaknesses...strengths...how their bodies function on an internal level. That way we can provide adequate measures to create the unstoppable force...an Apex Predator. "Hmmm, very well" says Traxler. "Which one do you think we should pick first?" The Colonel looks sternly at the monitors as he thinks. " "I say we start simple and work from there. Crypto runs with a scanner on him and is quite a technological genius...I don't want his drone discovering anything, same with that Lifeline girl. Caustic is quite smart himself and I feel would be able to notice anything different with his body. Wattson would provide useful but regarding her electrical prowess, she could potentially short any ship. Revenant is a robot, he is out, same as Pathfinder. Bloodhound doesn't have any readily available info to start with. Octane runs too much on stimulants and would require a special ship to enter his bloodstream to start, something more durable for the extra turbulence. Wraith would be great to discover any diagnostical differences with her teleportation technology, but she possesses a danger sense. I feel Gibraltar, Mirage, Bangalore, or Loba would be a good start" The doctor looks at screens. "Let's start with thief. I feel she is a safe bet and no one would look twice at any complaints from her." "Very well" says the Colonel. "Prepare a small group and enter the shrinking bay, we will provide a ship for you to go." The doctor smiles, almost menacingly "Of course". The doctor and the two guards behind him leave as they begin preparations for their experiment. *On the drop ship hours later, just before the new game. The Legends prepare themselves for battle, awaiting for the groups to be displayed. Loba sits alone, legs crossed as she stares in thought at the wolf staff she carries with her. Unbeknownst to anyone, a small spherical ship flies into the dropship. Doctor Traxler and a couple henchman are aboard as they travel through the air towards the unsuspecting aristocrat. "There she is, men. I want all things ready to go before they drop, cameras on, diagnostics going, shields up. We need to enter her heart and station there, that way we can monitor electrical currents and other stressors that may occur or are induced" the doctor exclaims the orders. The ship itself flies towards Loba as she retracts the staff and expands it, the ship enters her nose and follows the passage of air as she breathes. Loba twitches a bit as her nose tickles slightly from the near microscopic ship. The screens display the teams, Loba is partnered with Wattson and Bloodhound. "Oui" Wattson squeals in excitement as she claps, entering her loading station. Bloodhound stows their knife as they step. Loba flicks one of her red braids as she enters next to her team. Mirage yells out "We are so gonna win. Bamboozle ya foozles...ok that was bad..I'm sorry" he stutters. "Ya plonker, keep yer head on straight, mate" says Rampart next to him. Gibraltar lets out a big bellow as the platforms begin to drop. "Time to crush some hearts, team" Loba says as she slyly smirks and smiles to her team. The hatches open and the teams deploy, the jetpacks enabling them to drop. Inside of Loba, the ship travels through her lungs as the wind from her breathing can be heard, a small thumping echos in the distance. "Alright men, we are near her heart" announces Traxler as the booming grows. We will monitor and record all cardiac activity...as well as induce a few misfires to see how well she recovers. Start recording in 3,2....1" The ship enters atop her pulsing organ "Thoom-thoomp...thoom-thoomp...thoom-thoomp" her heart beats strongly within her chest. Outside, Loba and her group are engaging in a battle with some of the others. Loba throws her bangle and teleports behind a rock, drops a click out of her Volt SMG and reloads it. *Boom-thoom. Boo-thoom. boom-thoom, her heart picking up, racing slightly more from the excitement of the combat. She peers out from the rock and starts laying fire, a shot hits a Mirage clone and it fades. "Tch, stupid dupes" scoffs the Brazilian thief. She leans out further and a bullet hits the rock "DAMMIT", she ducks back behind. *BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM* pounds her heart as the ship maintains stability on top of it. Inside of the ship the doctor marvels at the success of the plan so far as her heart squirms and throbs inside of her breast. "The project is going so well so far, I am impressed. Alright men prepare to induce irregularities in 3...2..1" The doctor pushes down a button that yields a small current throughout Loba's body. *BOOMTHUMPBOOMBOOM* her heart flails inside of her for a brief moment*. "Tck" she gives a brief wince at the slight pain her chest. "What the hell was that?" she questions. She fights the pain and jump drives behind another rock, tossing an arc star at Mirage, Caustic and Wraith. The grenade explodes, releasing a gas trap Caustic laid out...Mirage and Wraith begin coughing as they run from their cover. A scanner deploys from Bloodhound from the distance near them, they fire off a few sniper rounds, hitting Wraith as she appears out from the miasma cloud. She falls and Mirage preparing another dupe but runs into one of Wattson's electrical fences. "DAMMIT" he yells as he falls, defeated. "My vision doesn't change..I don't need my teammates" yells the angry Caustic, as the large sociopathic doctor throws a gas bomb towards Wattson. It hits and she begins coughing before going down to a flurry of bullets fired from Caustic's carbine. "NO" yells out Loba as she tosses a second grenade at him before pulling out her pistol from behind the rock and starts firing a few volleys. Caustic ducks into his gas cloud and unloads a few bullets. One hits Loba square in the shoulder "I'm hit she yells as she falls back. "BUMPBUMPBUMPBUMP goes her heart, pounding away from the bullet hitting her. She heaves as her chest rises and falls, "hit her again" commands the doctor as they unleash a second current through her pumping organ *BOOMTHUMPTHUMP...THMPHBOOM..THUMP* it stumbles in her chest. "GAHK" she yells out as she reaches a hand to her chest, as it heaves...all she feels is her organ fumbling. *BOOM THUMPthHMP...THUMP..THUMPTHUMP..* the pulsing muscle inside of booms and lets out a few, sharp beats before regulating itself. Loba herself loosening the grip as she pops back up from her, focusing on the task at hand. She fires off a few shots from her SMG and it strikes surfacing Caustic, downing him. She picks herself up, hand re-clutching at her breast, heartbeat still pumping hard due to adrenaline, but steady nonetheless. She reaches Wattson and injects her with a revive shot, enabling the French woman to resume fighting. Bloodhound approaches them, "Thank the gods, you are alright" They look at Wattson. Bloodhound turns to stare at Loba clutching her chest, panting and sweating. "Are you alright, friend?" they ask. Loba gulps before straightening up and steadying herself "I'll be fine. Let's go finish this up..I want to wash the blood off my heels" says the woman. Inside of her, Doctor Traxler looks at the recordings and listens to the sounds of her life giving muscle pounding away "Beautiful...isn't it, men? We are inside a very person...detailing and dictating how their very essence beats. It's...exhilarating" Back to the fight at hand, the group treks further across the sand of King's Canyon, Wattson looking around and Bloodhound scanning for the remaining group or groups. Loba rubs her chest as her feat drag slightly. "Are you sure you are okay?" asks Wattson. "She swallows and nods, the effects on her heart taking a small toll already. "EAT LEAD, YA BLOODY SISSIES" the quick rattle before booms of a machine gun fire up as Rampart sits a top a small building, raining bullets down on the squad. They manage to duck behind another shack and few open supply bins. "Can you guys distract her while I take aim?" asks Bloodhound. "I can give a few moments" proclaims Loba, as she stamps her wolf staff in the sand, opening up the black market boutique. Loba summons a devotion LMG and prepares her bangle to jump drive. Wattson grabs a couple grenades and starts to toss them. Bloodhound activates their Beast of the Hunt to switch their vision to see the target and increase their speed. The grenades Wattson toss manage to spark up some dust as Loba throws her jump drive to get closer to Rampart. "YES YES YES YES...THIS IS THE BEST BLOODY DAY EVERRRRR!!" Yells out Rampart in excitement as she continues to storm down the artillery fire. Wattson rushes out as Loba preps for one more jump drive..she throws the ring and lands behind her while Rampart's attention is on Wattson. "Blood hell?" says the girl as Loba lights up a devotion her, taking her down. "That's the last one" says the man-eater and lady killer. "Think again, little girl." a shriveling and cold voice pierces from the shadows, as Revenant grabs her from behind the building and takes her down. 'NO" as Loba gets dragged down. The woman hits the ground and rolls back. As she recovers, she starts firing bullets at the simulacrum. He weaves through the bullets and throws a spinning back kick, hitting the gun. "Gah" Loba squeals out as she loses her weapon. She pulls her pistol from her hip and throws a kick of her own, the master assassin dodging as she thrusts a clawed hand at her. She throws an arm out, dodging to side as he takes a few strands of hair off. Knocking his arm, she lines for a pistol shot, he dodges as the bullet grazes across the metal face plate, sparking. With her heart pounding, she continues to engage as best as she can with the superhuman android. They exchange and deflect blows, Rev slices her pistol into pieces with a bladed hand. Loba manages to flip back, throw her ring and slide it under his legs. Not registering yet, he charges forward with his bladed fingers. They pierce the wall behind her as she ports behind him. Staff expanded, she hits him, rattling the android. He recovers and grabs the staff before pulling her in and throws a massive knee to her gut and an elbow to the back of her neck, flooring her. "Awww..what's the matter? A little disappointed" he mocks her. "Go to hell, demonio" she spits at him. The cold, bright yellow eyes glow with murderous intent as he straddles the downed opponent, hand shifting to it's bladed form. He slides the blade down her neck to her chest, right in the center between her breasts. "I told you...I'll slice your heart out." He presses the blade slightly against her breast, it bounds heavily from her heart throbbing furiously beneath it. *BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM* Inside of Loba, Traxler is smiling even wider. This fight is everything we needed...but this Revenant will be a hard one. Strike a current, I want her in full cardiac arrest. She's done her share and we can blame it on the robot. His henchman strikes a final current. Outside Rev prepares to sink the blade as a shot is fired off and strikes the side of his head, downing the simulacrum. "For Artur" says Bloodhound as they managed to find a proper angle to get the shot, and more importantly the win. Wattson leaps for joy as she celebrates and the rest of the legends are up and about from the games. All but one. *BMPHTHUMP* Loba gasps as her heart gives a crunching beat. She lays their gasping as she clasps her chest, her body convulsing. "Wait hold on, LOBA!!" scream the legends as they run to the champion. *THMPH...THMPBOOMTHUMPTHMPH.....THMPBOOMTHUNLUBDUBDUBDUB...THMPHBOOMP* her heart squirms and uncoordinatedly convulses in her chest. Lifeline rushes next to her as she lays an ear on her thrashing chest. "THMTHMBOOMBOMM...THMBUMPBUMPTHOMM..THOOM....THOOM...thoomp...thmp..boomp...thmp* Loba's heart starts slowing. "Her boom-boom's goin crazy" as she starts to compress against it. "thmph...thooomph....thmBOOM...thmbooom...THMP.. the organ squirms and fades before picking up. Inside of her "she is a fighter" proclaims the doctor. "Begin to charge another shot". Lifeline hooks her medic drone to Loba, and shoots her with a syringe. "I can help" Wattsons chimes in as she charges a small electric current herself and places her hands atop the chest of the now almost motionless Loba. She can feel the struggling heart beneath her and with a quick jolt lets loose a small defib like charge. Loba's chest jerks up. Wattson can see her hands shaking from the organ pumping. *BBOOMP..BOOMTHMPHBOOM...Ba-boomp..thmp..boom. Lifeline lays her head back down on her breast "Give anotha zap" Wattson charges and zaps her chest again *BOOM THUMP...LUBDUB...DUBDUMTHOMMPBUM*. Inside her chest, the ship starts to spark as her organ can't decide if it wants to steady itself or flatline. "Dammit! We need to get out of here. We can deliver the currents but the external ones from that Wattson are going to fry us and leave us for dead. We have what we need..let's go" commands Traxler as they detach and start leave her body, passing out through the lungs and the nose, making a narrow escape. "Clear" yells Wattson as she discharges and jerks the chest of Loba up once again. She feels for her heartbeat..the strong organ pulses beneath her, pushing her hands up. Lifeline listens again, ear sinking against her chest *boom thoom...bump-thoom...bum-thoomp...bump-thoomp...bum-thoomp. "We got her beating steady" she proclaims. The Maori mammoth Gibraltar bends down and picks up the limp woman's body. "Let's get er back home, bruddas and sistas" Somethin ain't right about today. He glares at Rev, and the simulacrum just stares back. The legends start to head to the drop ship to return home. At the secret base of the new unknown organization, Traxler returns and walks into the screen room to meet the Colonel. "How was the mission" he asks. The doctor pulls out a small USB like drive. "Splendid" He smiles. "Good job, Doctor Traxler. We just a couple more..dives...and we can begin building our creation. "I can't wait" says the gray haired man. "It will be...beautiful." "That it will indeed my good doctor...that it will indeed" says the colonel before turning back to the monitors. At Mirage's Bar..the home of the legends, Loba lies in the bed of her room before stirring. "MMhmm" she groans as she wakes up. She sits up and clutches her chest with a wince, "what the hell happened today?" she questions to herself. "I'll tell you" says that same, hollow voice from the shadows as the smoldering yellow eyes pierce through the veil of darkness. The 7 foot simulacrom lurches forward with an unnatural silence. "DEMONIO!" Loba growls out.."tch" she grasps at her chest as the other hand tries to find her pistol at her bedside. "Someone tried to take you, little girl. That heart of yours almost failed and trust me...it wasn't me." says the assassin. "I don't know how...but I know you're stronger than to fall to a heart attack in battle...you're much stronger than your parents were..hahahah". He chokes and laughs". Loba growls and groans again..finding the pistol, she weakly aims at him. He mockingly puts a finger to and holds it down. "I told you..I want you to be the one to truly end me. I wouldn't kill you and my means are more direct that to cause a heart attack. I'm the best bet you guys have here. And I will be keeping an eye out for this to happen again. You can thank me later..Loba...hehehehahahah" The simulacrum chuckles once more before fading back into the shadows and disappears. Loba lies there, dropping her gun onto her sheets before collapsing back down. "He isn't wrong" she says before taking a few deep breaths, eyes shut and she drifts asleep.

#cardiophile #cardiophilia #heartbeat #heart #resus #cpr #defib

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feferipeixes · 4 years

Text

Grapefruit Juice

For @skia-oura. You know what you did.

(on AO3)

It was a quiet morning when Bentley awoke, nestled in between Dipper and Torako. Dipper was curled up in the fetal position, forehead resting on Bentley’s shoulder, a clawed hand caressing his other shoulder, little Z’s floating above the demon’s head. Torako, on the other hand, was practically lying on top of him, spread-eagled and snoring loudly. A small smile spread across Bentley’s sleepy face. It felt so nice, in a weird way he didn’t know how to express. He loved waking up next to those two dorks. It felt safe to be with them.

Also, the fact that they were sleeping meant they weren’t wreaking havoc, which was always a plus.

A glance at the alarm clock -- it was early. Too early to really start the day, but too late to get back to sleep. He carefully extracted himself from the bed, making sure not to wake either of his roommates up. Tiptoeing out of the room like a cartoon character, he eased the door shut and then proceeded to the kitchen.

He opened the cupboard to look for something to eat for breakfast. The box of Moffios immediately stuck out to him -- he noticed that the sigil preventing it from being touched was almost worn away. Either Torako had been scratching it out or she’d made some sort of deal with Dipper. He quickly re-inscribed the symbol, and the box took on a glittery sheen indicating that it’d sting any fingers who tried to take it. That should keep her away from it for a few more days.

He grabbed his favorite almond-based caffeinated cereal and closed the cupboard. Setting the box of Nutty Tweaks down on the table, he fetched a bowl and looked through the fridge for something to drink. His usual box of orange juice was nowhere to be found. Bentley rolled his eyes -- no doubt his doofus brother finished it off and forgot to put it on the shopping list. Looked like he was eating dry tweaks that morning.

Except...

In the back of the fridge, he glimpsed a bottle of pink juice. He pulled it out and looked it over for a label. Nothing. It was probably the weird old-timey juice that Dipper would import from Australia, which was apparently the only remaining place where it was made. With a glint in his eye, Bentley poured himself a glass. If Dipper was going to drink all of his juice, he’d just have to return the favor.

His revenge at hand, Bentley sat at the table and started spooning crunchy almonds into his mouth. He considered the box’s promise to get anyone who eats the cereal “absolutely shredded” with “ham wild muscles” and “disgustingly feral abs”. He wondered if people really fell for that kind of marketing. At any rate, it didn’t affect him. He just liked almonds. And caffeine.

...although if he Did happen to get stronger from eating cereal, he wouldn’t complain. He’d be able to draw longer-lasting sigils if he could cut deeper into a surface.

Cereal consumed, Bentley raised the glass of juice to his lips. He briefly wondered whether it really was such a good idea to drink a demon’s juice -- for all he knew, it wasn’t actually juice but rather distilled insanity with blood mixed in (for taste). The promise of vengeance was too much to pass up, though, and he took a small sip.

And then downed the entire glass.

Whatever that stuff was, it was delicious. Weirdly tart with a sweet aftertaste. He’d never tasted anything like it -- no wonder Dipper went to such great lengths to obtain it. Before he knew it, Bentley had drunk the entire bottle. Surveying the casualties of his breakfast, he felt a small seed of guilt sprout within him, but he quickly brushed it away. It’s only what Dipper deserved for drinking all the orange juice.

Out of nowhere, the bedroom door slammed open with enough force to shake the room. Salt and pepper shakers spilled onto the counter. A clock fell off the wall and shattered on the floor. Bentley felt the chair he was sitting on jump a foot off the ground, and his arms shot out instinctively to grab the table so he wouldn’t fall over. Disoriented, it took him a moment to parse what was happening. Then he saw Torako standing in the doorway with a crazed look on her face, and immediately knew his peaceful morning was over.

“Bentley!” she yelled, gesticulating wildly. “You’re eating breakfast? Without meeeee?”

“You were asleep!” he countered. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

He shrank into his chair as she stomped over to him, hands on hips, hair matted and messy. She picked up the cereal box and broke into a mischievous grin. “Bentley’s Getting Buff, I see.” She cackled and tossed the box aside, sprinkling almonds across the kitchen.

“Stop! I just cleaned the apartment yesterday!”

Ignoring him, she picked up the empty juice bottle on the table and examined it while Bentley eyed her suspiciously. It was very likely she’d pick Dipper’s side if a revenge battle broke out because the two of them combined were an unstoppable chaos machine. He had to get her off the topic of breakfast, quick.

“Hey, Tora,” he said carefully. “I was thinking about re-dyeing my hair. Did you wanna...”

Torako cut him off by screaming at the top of her lungs. Bentley winced and clapped his hands to his ears. “What the hell are you doing?” he hissed. “You’re going to wake up the entire building!”

“Did you drink Dipper’s grapefruit juice????” she screeched.

Bentley shrank into his chair again. “Maybe. But he deserved it.” He glanced at the open bedroom door, curious about the fact that Dipper hadn’t come out yet to see what was going on. Maybe he’d been summoned.

“Oh NO Ben, this is BAD,” Torako continued to yell. “Holy shit holy shit HOLY SHIT!”

Bentley started edging away from her. “Is something happening right now? Am I missing something?”

She tore her gaze away from the bottle and stared him directly in the eyes, radiating such delirium that it was almost nauseating to look at. She hurled the bottle into the ground as hard as she could, and it broke through the floor into the next apartment down. Before he could object to this, she grabbed him by the shirt collar and shrieked, “BENTLEY you’re gonna DIE, that was GRAPEFRUIT JUICE, don’t you KNOW, it’s gonna make your ANTIDEPRESSANTS EXPLODE IN YOUR BRAIN!”

He gaped at her. “What are you talking abouuuu- !” He yelped as Torako effortlessly lifted him up and wrapped him over her shoulders. He tried in vain to wriggle free of her grip, but she was much stronger than him. “Let go of me!”

“Hello? Hospital?” Bentley stopped flailing to see Torako talking into a phone wedged between her head and her shoulder that couldn’t possibly have been there more than a second ago. “Yes, hospital! Please come quick! We have a serious case of genius boy brain burst! Oh stars, I can’t do this!” She dropped the phone and started sobbing, prompting Bentley’s anxiety to shoot through the roof.

“Tora? Are you okay? I’m really worried.” Not about himself, because he was pretty sure his brain was not about to explode from drinking juice, but even in her most trickster of moments Torako had never acted like this before and it was freaking him out. “Is this part of a prank or are you... really having some kind of breakdown right now? If this is real then I need to know so I can help.”

“You’re the one who needs help, you poor thing.” She laid him down on a stretcher and patted him on the head. “It’s gonna be okay! The hospital people will save you! They’ll take you to the juicer from Willy Wonka and everything will be okay!”

“What’s Willy Wonka?” Bentley yelled as he was pulled away on the stretcher. He watched Torako get smaller and smaller before finally fading away into the distance. Exhausted, he put his head down and stared up at the inky black ceiling of the ambulance. “This is so annoying. I don’t need to go to the hospital. I need to bust out of here.”

“Please don’t,” Philip said. Bentley’s eyes boggled at the sight of his father steering the ambulance. He gave his son a wink before turning back to face the road. “I’d have to chase you down or I’ll get fired, and I can’t do that. You’re so much faster than me now.”

“Dad?” Bentley breathed. “Why are you driving an ambulance? When did you -- you’re not supposed to -- isn’t it late?”

There was a sigh from the front seat. “Sorry, Bentley, I didn’t mean for you to find out this way, when you’re about to die from grapefruit overdose, but it’s true. I wasn’t making enough money doodling little hearts on pictures of your very handsome roommate. I had to pick up some odd jobs to make ends meet.”

“You what now?”

“It’s shameful, I know.” Philip’s head smacked down onto the steering wheel, and the ambulance started swerving wildly around on the road. “In a perfect world, we’d all be able to sit around and talk about demons all day without worrying about rent or food, but we don’t live in a perfect world and it’s my job as a father to break that to you. I’m so sorry.”

Bentley opened his mouth to respond, but faltered when he heard a hiccup. He flipped over onto his stomach to see his father weeping softly onto the steering wheel. Alarm bells rang in his head. “Dad, please don’t cry. It’s alright.” He attempted to undo the straps holding him on the stretcher, but they only seemed to get tighter. “We can talk about this. Please don’t cry.”

He reached out to him, his fingers gently brushing up against the driver’s seat, hoping that his father would sense his presence and take his hand. But it never came. There was a jerking sensation from beneath him as the conveyor belt activated, and the stretcher started moving away from the ambulance.

“Dad?” Bentley called, his voice heavy with reverberation. “Dad, don’t leave!”

No response. The sound of weeping faded away, and Bentley felt a pit settle in his stomach. He looked around and saw that he was rolling slowly on a track that ran through a landscape of stars. A row of doctors stared at him with blurry faces from behind a glass partition. Half of them gasped as he went by. The other half just looked disappointed, shaking their heads or crossing their arms.

“It’s… the Grapefruit Juice Boy,” one of them choked out.

“That doesn’t make any sense!” he yelled, scowling. “This -- okay, I’m getting suspicious now! Am I dreaming? Is this what a dream that isn’t a nightmare is like? It sucks!”

The conveyor stuttered to a halt and the doctors all vanished. Bentley blinked, and realized he was in a dentist’s office. A pair of hands pulled a paper bib around his neck, and his scowl deepened. “Now what’s going on? I thought this dream was about medication interactions! Why am I at the dentist now?”

“Grapefruit juice is really sugary,” came a voice from behind him. “Your teeth are gonna fall out.”

“Oh, yeah, definitely,” Bentley raged. “My roommates constantly pour sugar into every orifice on their faces, but I have a stress dream about the dentist because I drank a bottle of juice. I’d like to see Torako and Dip- hey wait a minute!” He cut off as the familiarity of the dentist’s voice hit him. The hands appeared again, putting a second bib on him, and Bentley noticed the fingers were tipped with claws. He struggled to tilt his head back, and caught a glint of light off the razor sharp teeth in the dentist’s grin.

“Hi Bentley,” Dipper said.

“Dipper? Why are you the dentist?” He collapsed back into the dentist’s chair and let his limbs fall limp over the sides. “Why are dreams like this? Is there some deep meaning behind all of this? I’d almost prefer the nightmares to Dipper cleaning my teeth.”

“Hey now,” Dipper pouted, putting a third bib around Bentley’s neck. “Maybe I’m really good at dental work. You know how hard flossing is with teeth like this?”

Bentley scratched his head. “Um, I guess not. But then why would I dream- hey wait a minute. Are you a dream Dipper or the real one?”

Dipper dropped the fourth bib he was holding and stepped back, bumping into a table of dental equipment. “Uhhhhh. Dream Dipper, definitely. Your brain just loves thinking about me. That’s it.”

The scowl returned to Bentley’s face in full-force. Sitting up, he tore the bibs off his neck and stared his roommate right in his dumb evil eyes. “It is the real you! What are you doing in my dream? This is all your fault, isn’t it?”

The demon smiled awkwardly and scratched the back of his neck. “Haha, well, uh, yeah sort of. Technically it’s Torako’s fault. This was all her idea, but I’m the one with the dream magic, so it just made sense, like oh who’s gonna keep Bentley in a weird dream so that he sleeps in today, Dipper obviously, and -”

Swinging his legs off the table, Bentley stood up for the first time in what felt like ages, and marched over shakily as Dipper backed away. “You trapped me in a crazy dream world??”

“No! Not really!” Dipper raised his arms, looking panicked. “I mean, okay, I made parts of it, but mostly all I did was stop you from waking up earlier! Sometimes people just have weird dreams, Ben! It’s a natural part of life for your species!”

“I’m putting wards all over the bedroom when I wake up. Why did you do this??”

Dipper shrank down to his 12-year old form and tried his best to look innocent. “No reason at all! You just looked like you needed some sleep! It definitely wasn’t that Torako needed time to break the sigil you made to prevent her from touching the box of Moffios!”

“Oh my stars Torako. This is ridiculous.” Bentley stared at his hands, picturing them each grasping one of his roommates’ hands, thinking about how that was definitely not going to be happening again for two weeks at minimum. “Does this at least mean you didn’t actually finish off my orange juice?”

Dipper giggled nervously. “Yeah, about that...”

Bentley facepalmed. “Wake me up. Right now.”

“Well, uh, you see,” Dipper replied, squirming, “it’s like, there’s a time limit on the deal I made with Torako, and yknow how it is...”

“If you don’t wake me up this instant, you’re gonna have a lot more to worry about than whether or not you’re getting cuddles ever again. I’ll have my dad over for dinner every single night and he’ll ask you every uncomfortable question under the sun! Do you hear me?”

Dipper blanched. “Yes sir, right away sir!” he babbled, standing up straight and saluting. He snapped his fingers, and the world fell away.

Bentley shot upright in bed, the sounds of squealing floating in from the kitchen. He jumped out from the covers, sprinting past the ashamed-looking demon at the door, to see Torako kneeling on the kitchen counter, jabbing at the box of Moffios with a dinner knife.

“Torako! No!” he hollered, racing after her. “I’m never buying Moffios again!”

Her eyes grew big as dinner plates and she took off with the box, running around the table to get away from him. “Bentley! You’re awake! Uh… this isn’t what it looks like!”

“It looks like I’m changing the locks is what it looks like!”

“Dipper!” she cried as she passed the demon, who was watching the scene looking half-concerned and half-amused. “You said you’d keep him busy! We had a deal!”

“He figured it out!” Dipper cried back. “I knew he’d be too smart to fall for this!”

“I’m coming for you next, jerkface!” Bentley roared.

The sounds of screaming and furniture toppling over filled the apartment. The people in the apartment immediately below them hesitated before calling the landlord to complain about the noise. It was, after all, not much worse than Saturdays usually were in the Pines-Lam-Farkas household.

----

A bright ray of sunlight beamed through a crack in the curtains and directly onto Torako’s face, waking her up. She shifted, trying to find a comfortable position amidst the lumpy couch cushions, but eventually resigned to her fate and opened her eyes. She was in the living room, of course, because Bentley hadn’t let her sleep in his room for a week now, which was just a little bit of an excessive punishment if you asked her! All of this and she didn’t even get any Moffios. The sheer injustice of it all.

Sitting up, she yawned and surveyed the room. She scratched her head as she looked for Dipper. He’d been sleeping on the floor next to her since they’d both been exiled from Bentley’s room, but the demon was presently nowhere to be seen, which was strange. He must’ve had an early morning summons. Oh well.

She headed over to the kitchen and opened the fridge. If she wasn’t allowed to have Moffios, she’d at least have something sweet to drink for breakfast. She grabbed the box of orange juice, flipped off the lid, and started chugging it directly from the carton. When it was all done, she collapsed into a chair with a large grin. Just what she needed to start the day.

“TORAKO!” Dipper yelled out of nowhere, blipping into reality directly beside her. “Did you drink my grapefruit juice?”

She yelped and fell out of her chair. “What? No, this is Bentley’s oran-” She lifted her hand, still holding the empty box of juice, but trailed off when she realized she was actually holding a clear bottle with a small amount of pink liquid left inside. She stared at it in shock, then at Dipper who looked equally as horrified. “What? But, I -”

“Torako, you’re gonna DIE!” Dipper screamed, suddenly wearing a nurse’s outfit and pushing her down the hall on a hospital bed. “Your MEDS are gonna EXPLODE in your BRAIN!”

“Noooooo!” she shrieked, flailing around as her parents jogged up beside the bed and waved at her while sobbing. “Bentley was right! This is awful!”

In the real world, Bentley was in the kitchen, applying the finishing touches on a new Moffios-protecting sigil that would last eight times as long. He heard Torako yelling in her sleep from across the room and smiled. “Yeah, it is,” he muttered, walking over. “Next time you’ll think twice before you try something like that on me.”

“Um… do you think she’s had enough?” Dipper asked from his position on the floor. He had his hand on Torako’s head, and when he looked up Bentley could see Torako’s dream reflected in the demon’s eyes. She’d somehow managed to wriggle free of the straps on the bed and was running down a highway in only a hospital gown, being pursued by a fleet of ambulances. “She admitted defeat.”

Bentley sat on the edge of the couch and seemed to consider it. “Yeah,” he said finally. “You can wake her up.”

Dipper nodded, and removed his hand from Torako’s head. She gasped and her eyes flew open, looking in all directions before making eye contact with Bentley. She leapt off the sofa and backed against the wall.

“Sorry, Ben! I’ll never Dip into your dreams ever again!”

Bentley sniffed. “Sounds about right. And you?” He turned to Dipper, who looked similarly panicked under Bentley’s purview.

“And I promise I’ll only side with Torako sometimes instead of all the time!” he offered, backing up beside Torako. “Also not to go into your dreams ever unless I really need to, which I totally won’t take advantage of ever!”

“Good. I’m glad we had this talk.” Bentley stood up. “Do either of you want breakfast?”

“NO!” Dipper and Torako both screamed, scampering away at full speed. They ran into the bedroom, dove under the covers, and clutched each other tight. “Never again!”

“Suit yourself,” Bentley said, trying out the shoulder up-and-down thing that Dipper always did to express indifference. He pulled the bedroom door shut and just stood there for a bit, reflecting on the day’s events. Then he walked over to the kitchen, poured himself a bowl of Nutty Tweaks, and took a seat by the window so he could watch the snow fall as he ate.

It really was a very peaceful morning.

(AO3 link)

#gravity falls #transcendence au #bentley farkas #torako lam #dipper pines #alcor the dreambender #fic #my stuff #this is very silly #and based on a dream i had #and also based on wanting to drive kass up the wall #ur welcome 💝

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cecilspeaks · 5 years

Text

153 - The Heist, part 1

Constellations are fan art depicting ancient gods. Welcome to Night Vale.

I’ve said many times that science is neat. But sometimes it is also messy. Carlos converted one of our guest rooms into a laboratory so he can spend more time at home and get some needed renovations done on his laboratory downtown. Which seemed like a great idea, until I realized that it’s impossible to contain chemical odors and stains from getting all over the rest of the house. Not only did acid eat through our new Egyptian-tiled backsplash, but also a petri dish grew feet and walked outside, only to walk back inside tracking mud all over my new handwoven Svitzian rug. The last straw was when Carlos stained all of his shirt sleeves, not to mention his hands and, somehow, even the (cords) countertops a dull green, which completely threw off my kitchen color palette. I told Carlos he had to stop, but he insisted he had made a major breakthrough in his doorless fridge invention. “Cecil, this is so exciting,” he said, bouncing up and down like a child who wants a toy or needs to pee. “The problem with refrigerators is the door. In order to put food in or take food out, you have to open the door, and that’s totally bad because it lets all the cool air out, raising the temperature of the other food inside. I told him that’s not that big of a problem, but his face darkened and he said, “Baking is an exact science, Cecil. If the butter is off my a couple of degrees, my croissants are ruined.”

I understood, but I asked that he find another place to conduct that particular experiment. He’s turning everything in our home a dull green, including his own skin. Fortunately, my sister Abby and her husband Steve Carlsberg just bought a new house. Ever since his promotion to vice president of the Last Bank of Night Vale, Steve has been saving up to buy a larger home for his family, one with a yard for dogs, no stairs and wider doors for his daughter Janice’s wheelchair, and even his own man cave, where he can raise bats and cultivate rare crystals. And they finally closed on their dream home this summer. They bought Janice a car too, complete with accessible hand controls, a state of the art sound system, and a moon roof that closes automatically at night so you never have to see that awful moon. Anyway, there is also a giant empty storage shed out back of their new home, and Steve and Abby told Carlos he can work in the shed until his laboratory downtown is ready to use again. So far, it sounds like everything is working out fine for Carlos, although he did accidentally leave a large green handprint on Janice’s new car. The good news is, she thought it looked really cool, so she decided to leave it.

Listeners, I’m getting word that there’s a robbery taking place in downtown Night Vale. Three people have entered the Last Bank of Night Vale and are demanding money from the tellers. The robbers are wearing masks of former US presidents Richard Nixon, William Henry Harrison, and Emma Goldman. The Sheriff’s Secret Police, as well as the Sheriff’s Overt Police, are on the scene but the perpetrators have begun to take hostages and the police are trying to negotiate. The robbers have not stated any demands yet, so the police are left to guess what they want. One officer suggested giving them a million dollars, which was (-) [0:05:52] accepted by the fellow officers as a great idea. Because, while human lives cannot be distilled down to a monetary value, a million dollars is pretty cool. But this idea was shot down by Sheriff Sam, who pointed out that the department does not have a million dollars. “What if we got them a puppy?” another officer offered up. “My basset just had a litter and I thought we’d be able to sell them, but it’s definitely a buyer’s market out there for hounds,” the officer continued. “Anyway I’ve got a brown one with white spots and two white ones with brown stops. I’ve named the Chutney, Footstool and Bob Ross. Footstool is the runt, let’s give them Footstool.” “We’re not giving them puppies,” Sheriff Sam shouted. “Oo, what about an Applebee’s gift card?” another officer said. “Worth a million dollars.” “Or a coupon book for free favors,” another said, “like repainting the guest room or raking leaves or – oh, wait, we’re the police right? A free crime day! They, they could use that coupon today, and we don’t have to arrest them and file all the paperwork, and the hostages get to go free. We could even have a coupon for a 15 minute backrub.”

All of the officers clapped for this idea, not just a win-win but a win-win-win, for the hostages, the robbers and the police. All except Sheriff Sam, who silenced them all with a loud whistle. More like a pan flute, really. It’s an enchanted whistle that causes vocal cords to stop working. “We are police,” the Sheriff scolded. “It is clearly stated in our oath of office to never give backrubs to bank robbers.” They then set to work trying to devise a plan to stop the robbery and free the hostages in the bank. Oh dear. Uh, listeners, I was just talking about my brother-in-law Steve, and here comes this terrible news. Um, I have no further information about Steve’s condition right now, nor the other citizens who are being held at gunpoint inside the bank. I will update you as events progress.

In the meantime, let’s go to sports. The Night Vale high school Scorpions opened their season this Friday against the Whispering Forest Wood Dogs. Scorpion’s head coach Latrice Beaumont said this will be a tough match up. The Wood Dogs, a team entirely comprised of trees, are roundly regarded as one of the toughest defenses in the state, with their tactic of whispering compliments to opposing players, until those players themselves turn into trees. Last season, Whispering Forest dealt to Night Vale its only loss, as nine of the Scorpions starting offensive players, including quarterback Junius Duncan, were won over by the Wood Dogs’ pleasant cooing. By the end of the game, the field was covered in trees, many of them former Night Vale high school student athletes. And Whispering Forest snuck out with a 3-to nothing win on the late field goal, that was somehow kicked by a tree. Coach Beaumont says she plans to give her players ear plugs to help dampen the whispers from the Wood Dogs’ defense. She also has uglied up the Scorpions’ uniforms adding mustard yellow and hot pink argyle atop the dark purple jerseys, hoping that the arborial defenders will find little good to say. The Scorpions are starting a new quarterback this season, sophomore (phenome) [0:09:20] Julie Dobbs, who won the job because of her prophetic dreams. Her slumbering subconscious is able to see the future, most notably other teams’ defensive strategies. She also uses her dream journals to develop a nearly unstoppable offensive game plan. She also owns her own football, which was a huge plus for the coaches. Good luck this weekend, Scorpions! We’re pulling for you.

I now have the names of the hostages being hold at the Last Bank of Night Vale. Jesse McNeil, a security guard who has worked at the bank for nearly 50 years, oh Jesse. What a sweet old man. He says hi to me every time I go there, always has a smile and a compliment. Why, just the other day he said to me, “Heard you on the radio, Cecil, and I was beaming with pride.” Another hostage, bank teller Genevieve Daly, who started at the bank this week. Oh Genevieve, what a tough break. Just now that we’re pulling for you. Bank customer and dinosaur expert Joel Isenberg. Oh Joel, I know Joel! He’s such a smart guy. And the last of the hostages: staff supervisor of the bank, Susan Willman. OK well, tough.

Unfortunately, after several grueling minutes, negotiations between the sheriff and the robbers have broken down. So the police have decided that the only way to break the stalemate is with physical force. While this makes sense in chess, I don’t know if this is such a good idea for hostage negotiations, listeners. But the police have advanced into the building to engage the thieves directly.

Witnesses reported hearing several gunshots, but they said the noises could also be fireworks, part of the day long celebration of Lee Marvin’s 31st birthday, which was back in June. Oh. Happy late birthday, Mr. Marvin. You don’t look a day over 30.

We cannot see inside the bank and no one has emerged yet. I will have to report back later as soon as I have – oh no wait, wait. I’ve been told that the bank is on fire now. The west wall of the bank is engulfed in flames and the Night Vale fire department is already on the scene. They are shouting at the fire to stop being such a nuisance, but the fire does not appear to be listening.

Oh, this isn’t good. And even more frightening for me, I did not see Steve Carlsber’s name on the list of hostages. Abby told me he was at work today, but why was he not taken hostage? I can only hope he had gone to lunch when the robbery began. Steve, if you hear this and you’re at lunch, don’t go back to work, it’s on fire. I feel so powerless. All I can do is hope And bring you the weather.

[My Friend” by Dominique Chantel Worthing with Barrett Ward, https://soundcloud.com/dominique-worthing ]

First, the good news. The hostages have been freed. Inside the bank, the police drew their weapons on the robbers, but could not get off a clean shot because of the hostages blocking their line of fire. The robbers fired back, forcing the police to retreat behind a Coinstar machine and a full sized promotional cardboard cutout featuring a hooded man, his jagged smile just barely visible in shadow, holding a raw slab of red meat with the bold tex below him reading: “Great mortgage rates are inside of you”. But the second wave of officers blocked the thieves’ escape from the front entrance. Then, and Sheriff Sam did not see how this happened, but a fire began in the bank lobby. It spread quickly and the room filled with smoke. In the confusion, the hostages broke free from their captors and the robbers ran from the police. Fire engines sprayed water and broadcasted loud admonishments at the fire to knock it off already.

Susan, Joel, Genevieve and Jesse ran out into the street covering their faces, choking on the black air. As Jesse emerged, his 75-year-old body was knocked backwards by one of he fire engines’ hoses. Jesse was soak head to foot. The firefighters apologized, but Jesse merely brushed himself off and then generously complimented their work by saying, “I see you’re fighting a fire.” What a gentleman. The three perpetrators of the bank robbery also fled through the front of the building, but the police quickly halted and arrested them. As the fire finally subsided, amidst the damp charred masonry and broken glass, came another figure. Steve Carlsberg emerged from the bank, sweating and limping, but safe. An ambulance arrived to take the survivors to the hospital, but they all declined, except Steve who had a broken foot and gladly took the EMTs up on their offer. The bank robbers were transported to the abandoned mine shaft outside of town for questioning. It’s an open and shut case. The bad people lose and the good people win, and every single person, even the people who own Applebee’s, is glad no one had to purchase a one million dollar Applebee’s gift card. My brother-in-law is safe, as are his employees and customers. No one died and not a single dollar was taken from the bank registers at the front counter, nor the ATMs, nor the Coinstar. Even the fire didn’t damage those bills.

That was the good news. The bad news: as the police did a final sweep of the bank, searching for anyone else inside, whether they be customers or criminals, they reached the bank’s vault in the back of the building. Before he left the hospital, the police asked Steve Carlsberg to open the vault for them. “We’re sure everything’s fine, “they said. “It’s routine in a bank robbery,” they said. “I understand,” Steve said. He opened the vault, they looked inside, and they saw nothing. Millions of dollars in bills and gold were gone. Sheriff Sam said there’s a conspiracy here, and they’re going to really put the screws to the people they arrested. “No HBO until they explain where the money from the vault,” the Sheriff declared. And that’s a big deal, because a black lady’s sketch show just premiered last month and is crazy good. The Sheriff said they have no clues yet as to where the money in the vault went, but they did discover the robbers’ names are Richard, William, and Emma. Which is interesting because those are the names of the presidents whose masks they wore. “I don’t think that’s a coincidence,” the Sheriff said confidently. The bank lost a great deal of money today and some innocent people lost their sense of comfort, but we are all still alive. At least those in this story are, and I’m so happy to know my brother-in-law is safe, as are Jesse and Joel and Genevieve, whom I’ve never even met. I’m glad those specific people are OK as well as anyone else who was taken hostage today.

Stay tuned next for an unedited recording from two years ago of you talking to a kitten. You sound ridiculous.

Good night, Night Vale, Good night.

Today’s proverb: Don’t go writing metaphors. Please stick to the similes and literal descriptions that you’re used to.

#welcome to night vale #wtnv #wtnv transcripts #episode 153 #the heist #the heist part 1

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all-things-are-nothing-to-me · 5 years

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On Sabotage as One of the Fine Arts: a contribution to the topic of the theory of the practice of Sabotage

Chapter 1

Who will revive the violent whirlpools of flame if not us and those that we consider brothers? Come! New friends: this will please you. We will never work, oh tides of flame! This world will explode. It’s the true path. Forward, on the march.

— A. Rimbaud

The spread of sabotage, its increasing practice, on a greater or lesser scale, far and wide against the domination of the market is a given fact. Burning ATM booths, disabling locks at shopping centers, smashing shop windows, setting fire to the offices of temp agencies and employment offices, the sabotage of the infrastructure of capitalism (high-speed railroads, dams, expressways, construction projects) ... are offensive practices against the colonization of our lives by the most advanced form of colonialism — the integrated spectacle.

All this is put into practice by individuals bored with survival as commodities (life reduced to economic imperatives) and disillusioned with false opposition (more false and less oppositional with each day that goes by), parties and unions that want to manage our misery and integrate us into a mode of production that prevents us from any participation in the decisions that relate directly to us and that assist in enslaving us, mutilating every gesture of negation of the existent.

The spectacle writes the scenario and distributes the roles: worker, professor, student, housewife, mother, father, son, daughter, unemployed, police, soldier, artist, humanitarian, intellectual... the majority, individuals who assume different roles in the course of 24 hours, see their existence as still more terrible, assuming this is possible. Everyone with his neurotic-schizoid viewpoint will react to the stimuli launched by power in the way that was already expected.

All social activity is planned in order to reinforce the spectacle, thus slowing down its unstoppable process of decomposition. Though we don’t want to hear the shrieking of militants of whatever organization, clearly we are not against the concept of “organization” as such, but against “organization” conceived as an end in itself , as the crystallization of any ideology, and as a separated organ, representing a class.

We are for the autonomous self-organization of the exploited. History has shown through two clear examples that the traditional form of the party (Russian revolution) and union (Spanish revolution) were nothing more than two attempts to manage capitalism and not to overcome it, and this is something that, consciously or unconsciously, everybody knows. In the seizure of power, it is not destroyed, but exercised: in the first case, the class of bureaucrats replaced the bourgeoisie, and in the other case, the anarcho-syndicalist leaders participated in bourgeois power, calling for the self-management of exploitation and alienation, while the base tried to overcome the relationships of production and social relationships in practice through the direct management of every aspect of their lives and not just work.

To be precise, both forms have the exaltation of work in common (something that they also share with national-socialism and with every political form of capitalism).

Their quantitative vision sought an increase in production, leaving aside the qualitative increase of life. This (practical and theoretical) defeat of the traditional organizations, which claim to represent us, has not been absorbed by the working class (it seems that we only know how to work), and we go along without maintaining any possibility of control over essential aspects of our lives, in a world that is developed, not only without our participation, but against us.

But, comrades, history is not cyclic; it is a cumulative process and already weighs too heavily upon our weary bodies.

Chapter 2

Never did mockers waste more idle breath.

— William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream

The contradiction between the possibilities of the means of production (the use of a few of them for the enjoyment of all, since most of them are useless and harmful and would be destroyed) and the relations of production (waged exploitation, commodification, the exclusions of class society) has reached an insurmountable point of rupture. In the spectacle it is easier to falsify the nature of this contradiction than to increase mercantile production with increasing use value. This inertia forces it to display all of its methods for recuperating any real movement of opposition and to turn the spectacular critique of the spectacle to its advantage.

A self-critical hypocrite directed by its own police of decomposed thought (pro-situationists, cadres, non-governmental organizations, recuperators, artists, journalists... the clique of politically correct alternatives).

These toilet brushes of modernity, like good priests, hope that with their patches, the proper development of the system will lead us, hand in hand, into an ideal world planned by their false consciousness and by the putridity of their armoured brains; as if they had ever given us anything. Their social function, which has been denounced for decades already, has been worth more to them than any aggressions, beatings or assassinations, and we are sure that these will not be mere anecdotes. They deceive and manipulate us. We must not allow them ta have a single day more. They are the guardians to the keys of our informal chains. They amuse us with insignificant debates. They impose their opinions on us, avoiding questions so simple that they make them tremble with terror: How best to live? Who and what keeps us from this? Questions that immediately unmask the professionals of the lie. Critical coherence and the critique of incoherence aid this operation.

Chapter 3

Injustice is not anonymous; it has a name and an address.

— Bertold Brecht

Situationist theory, as integral critique of the totality of the conditions of survival and of the mercantile-spectacular capitalism that necessitates them, has been confirmed in events by falsification.

One cannot fight alienation by means of alienated forms. The sabotage of this world starts with the break with the roles the system imposes on us, the sabotage of our death in life and the refusal of the roles that they have allotted and appointed to us. To speak of the Revolution in these times is “to have a corpse in one’s mouth”. We only need to look around ourselves to see a scenario that constantly reminds us of the defeat. Sabotage is thus an action that serves as a propellant against the unreality that oppresses us. A practice that has not gone unnoticed by ideological recuperation, which has transformed it into “terrorism” (the professionalization of sabotage that has done no more than reinforce the system, due to its centralist, hierarchical and militarist character). Today, what is proposed is not the creation of an armed organization of this type, but widespread attack by small affinity groups, uncontrollable by any higher organization, that come together and dissolve like the lunar tides. The tides that are born of the awareness of how bad things are and of the worsening that awaits us due to events.

In the 19th century, such a practice existed that put the incipient capitalism in check. Beyond the Luddite attacks, the “proletarian rounds” rendered their repression and recuperation, in which the embryonic unions would play a role, almost impossible due to their lack of a rigid structure and their maximum flexibility in attacks. A group of people came together, struck and disappeared into the mass, while a new group came together within it. Such widespread sabotage makes it difficult for the enemy to organize repression. Thus it transforms the attack into a universe of pleasure for the enlightened hooligan, the feelings of which are impossible to describe or communicate with the poor and banal language of words.

The game of subversion, the rules of which are written by those that participate in it, becomes an effective weapon against capitalism in all its forms.

There is much more to destroy than to build.

Chapter 4

Our epoch does not need to write poetic slogans, but to realize them.

— Situationist International

It has been demonstrated that small groups that attack do more damage than large organizations that specialize in armed struggle. The Angry Brigade continued its actions when people were arrested and the English state assumed the movement had fallen apart. The Kale Borroka (street struggle) in Euskadi, which Jarrai (the youth organization of the Basque nationalist left, NDR) recently declared uncontrollable is another example. Power has difficulty repressing and eliminating little groups that with complete security do not know each other, and the only thing that unites them is the desire for the destruction of a system that prevents them from living and condemns them to survival and uncertainty. They don’t attempt exhibitionist actions in order to make propaganda as some acronym or mark of origin. In the case of the Asturias, sabotage was a class weapon used innumerable times, particularly in labor conflicts with these enterprises: Duro Felguera, Hunosa, Naval and Ciata...(Asturian businesses and mines where sabotage was determinant in the struggles going on in the 1990’s); every weary person, regardless of her or his ideology, uses it. From the clerk who steals office supplies to the worker who damages the machine to which he is chained, passing through the use of plastic explosives like the licensed professionals of Duro Felguera. Today, the example is the burning of the ETTs (temporary employment agencies). The practice of sabotage remains limited to precise and very localized conflicts, without global perspectives, simply aiming for partial solutions with economic demands that remain within imposed limits where capitalist logic unfolds. The same holds in the case of the ETTs, an attack that goes beyond the temporality of a conflict in one enterprise, but that does not place wage slavery into question. Instead it only questions its most extreme form, not aiming at putting an end to exploitation, but rather to the ETTs. Today the conflict is global and it is not resolved through partial struggles, but through total struggle and through the refusal of this society as a whole. It is necessary to put an end to the reduction of our lives to commodities and to wage labor that wears us out, not just to ETTs. We must put an end to class society and not just fascism. Misdirecting our attention toward partial objectives only benefits the managers of our misery and those who will one day lay claim to its management., and both are among the targets for sabotage.

The widespread practice of sabotage (unhindered autonomy, maximum flexibility, self-organization, minimum risk) among like-minded individuals, opens the possibility for real communication, destroying spectacular communication, smashing the apathy and impotence of the eternal revolutionist monologue. Relationships and the possibility of contact with other people in the refusal of the spectacular role, these are transient situations that in their preparation and development carry in their essence the qualities of the revolutionary situation that will not retreat and that will suppress the conditions of survival. It does not fall into the irremediable alienating hierarchization that every specialized armed group of an authoritarian and militaristic character, to which the masses delegate their participation in the attack, carries within itself

The quantitative growth of this practice does not come to us from the hands of propagandists of the spectacle, but rather by taking a walk through the scenario of capitalism, and finding in this drift the burned ATM, the ETTs with shattered windows, the smiths changing the locks of a supermarket. These visions make our complicit smiles blossom and move us to go out that very night to play with fire with the aim of making the same smiles rise on the faces of unknown accomplices through the fellowship of destruction. The number doesn’t matter, but rather the quality of the acts: sabotage, expropriation, self-reduction... they return part of the life that is denied us back to us, but we want it all.

Comrades, the game is yours and we take courage in its daily practice. Organize it yourselves with your accomplices.

Against the old world in all its expressions, in order to leave pre-history, let’s launch and multiply attacks.

FOR THE ABOLITION OF CLASS SOCIETY AGAINST THE MARKET AND WAGE LABOR FOR ANARCHY STONES AND FIRE

#Asturian Institute of Comparative Vandalism #anarchy #anti essentialism #anti politics #attack #insurrection #individualism #insurrectionary anarchism #nihilism #play #fun #post left anarchy #post left #property destruction #social war #sabotage #extinction rebellion #communism

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alexsmitposts · 5 years

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While Putin Defends Russia While Israel Helps Create a Terminator World One of these days a tourist visiting the Holy Land will probably get popped in between the eyes by a designated Israeli Defense Forces shooter. News of a new AI technology the Israelis are working on, it echoes of the “Terminator” films. Very soon Israeli citizens will be living inside a prison of killing technology. The Israel Ministry of Defense is adopting a networked sensor-to-shooter system known as Fire Weaver, according to news from C4ISR. According to the report, the Israelis will pair infantry weapon-centric AI and display with its F-35s and UAV capabilities, in order to “digitalize” the urban battlefield. The makers of the technology say Fire Weaver will make situations in densely populated areas safer, but sane people must surely have doubts. Now get this, Israel’s Rafael Advanced Defense Systems recently partnered with French company Atos Information Technology to create for Germany a so-called “glass battlefield” where: “Interconnected platforms, sensor information moving in a ‘tactical internet of things,’ advanced and immune communications as a basis to allow seamless connectivity between UAS, vehicles, and soldiers on the ground.” What could go wrong, right? I can think of many horrific scenarios. For one, cyberwarriors from Langley hacking the systems may soon be able to assassinate you from above, below, across the street, or half a world away in some fish market in Bangkok. And what about the latest in German thinking? Since when did Angela Merkel’s Utopia start envisioning using drone swarms controlled by AI to support combat vehicles and future battle tanks? And Vladimir Putin is crazy for building unstoppable killer nukes? Right. No wonder. The world peace Miss USA beauty pageant contestants used to pray for, it seems to get farther and farther away. And more expensive. Nations spend enough money today to cure all hunger in a few months. With those trillions America alone spends, whole families of diseases could surely be cured. And what makes this “Terminator” battlefield lunacy even crazier, is how so-called terrorists in pickup trucks in the desert can defeat every army. Now Tel-Aviv is going to set up next-generation digital killing machines. There’s the “peace” for you. Trump presents a peace plan to the Palestinians with nothing in their favor, then Jerusalem comes up with Phase II of annexation. Fire Weaver, which I guess will end up being fully automated with killer robots, drones, spy satellites, and smart killer viruses. Good God. We really are doomed. No longer will the TSA need to do cavity searches for explosives in airports, new Terminator micro technologies will sting would-be plane highjackers to death in an instant. And while they are onboard the all-new glass airplanes flying from glass airports, carrying glass people to glass destinations all over the world. What, you think I am hysterical? Think again. A tactical Internet of Military Things (IoMT)? Where does this end? Just because the concept of IoMT is largely driven by the idea that future military battles will be dominated by machine intelligence and cyber warfare in urban environments, does not mean the network will not be used in other situations. Think of it, the U.S. Army’s current operational outline for 2020 to 2040, titled “Winning in a Complex World,” will surely have counterintelligence and civilian peacekeeping capabilities. Soon the local police will be wired into the system, and who do you think will be in charge? The end result will not be safer, it will be a horrific future world where innocent people accidentally get snuffed. It won’t end with the new German Reich and swarms of Luftwaffe drones, it will end the way all Sci-Fi epics start. We’ll be helpless in a world totally controlled by real and perceived force. And feasible deniability and computer glitches will take the place of accountability. “Oh, we are so sorry, a glitch in the Fire Weaver AI was the cause of those innocent Palestinian protesters being blown to pieces. But we are working on it.” Yeah, right. Safer for who?

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