#By magic I mean farts and snoring

[theehorsepusssy]

My old bedroom

[tiffdawg]

Some Kind of Magic | A Frankie Morales x Reader Story

Part Three of the Summer Sunlight Series

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Reader (fem; no y/n)

Word Count: 1.1k

Rating: T | Warnings: family fluff, allusions to baby making.

Request: @b0n-chann​ requested 68 (you didn’t have to ask) and 80 (is your seatbelt on?) from this list with Frankie for the 500 Celebration. Thank you for the request my love! 

A/N: I was hoping to have something more substantial to share this weekend but apparently all I have in me is some super soft Frankie fluff. This is from a request for my 500 follower celebration eight months ago... which took an embarrassingly long time to fulfill. It follows One Summer Night and Golden Hour which you can find on my masterlist.

Read on AO3

My Masterlist

... . ...

Some Kind of Magic

Beams of golden sunlight broke through the canopy of leaves to light the forest floor. With bubbling laughter, your precocious daughter danced between them, always careful not to disturb the seedlings along the trail. Despite the uphill hike to the river where you’d enjoyed a picnic lunch earlier that afternoon, she was as energetic as ever. Of course, her father had carried her on his back most of the trek up. The man was defenseless against her pouty lips and big brown eyes that matched his own.

As you glanced over at Frankie, you found a dreamy smile on his handsome face as he watched Celia play. In a silent gesture meant to convey that you felt the exact same way, you squeezed his hand, still firmly clasped in yours even after miles of walking.

“That little girl is magic,” he said quietly before turning to you with a soft look, “just like you.”

 “I think she takes after you,” you countered. Frankie pulled you closer and pressed a quick kiss to your smile. 

“She’s the best of both of us,” he reasoned. There was a mischievous spark in his eyes when he added, “we made a good kid.” 

“Yeah, we did,” you agreed enthusiastically. You’d loved Frankie before you’d ever so much as kissed him. In the last decade following that first kiss one summer long ago, your relationship proved steady and sturdy and full of love. You made a good team as partners and as parents. It was no wonder you had such a great kid. 

Ahead of you, Celia’s curiosity got the better of her and she knelt to inspect something on the trail. Bear, the fluffy Burmese Mountain Dog you and Celia had found at a shelter and surprised Frankie with a few months ago on his birthday, stopped beside her. The dog was never far behind her as he was the little girl’s best friend and fiercest protector. A moment later, the two came sprinting back toward you.

“¡Papá, mira!” she called to Frankie as she jumped into his outstretched arms. He groaned as he hoisted her up so that her weight rested on his hip. The four-year-old seemed to grow every day right before your eyes and you had a hard time believing she wasn’t a baby anymore.

“What did you find?” he asked.

With a toothy grin, she proudly showed him the heart-shaped rock sitting in the palm of her hand. “It’s for you.”

“I’ll keep it forever,” Frankie promised as he smiled lovingly at his daughter. She tucked her head into the crook of his neck, and you knew it was a matter of moments before she’d finally fall fast asleep. Judging by the way Frankie held her, you also knew he wouldn’t mind carrying her the rest of the way. With as quickly as time passed and as fast as she seemed to grow, it wouldn’t be long until he’d be unable to hold her like that. It was a bittersweet thought. One that made your heart ache with premature nostalgia and reminded you to enjoy every moment the three of you had together.

And the sight of Frankie and your daughter bathed in the light of late afternoon was nothing short of a perfect moment. It was almost too good to be true but something so wonderfully real.

… . …

After loading up the back of your crossover – a family car Frankie insisted you have the moment you mentioned the idea of trading in your old sedan shortly after you found out that you were pregnant – you helped Bear inside and climbed in the driver’s seat. As you belted yourself in, you caught sight of Frankie setting your sleeping daughter carefully into her new booster seat. You paused for a moment just to watch because as mundane as it might’ve seemed to anyone else, it was a sight that always melted your heart.

“There you go little lady,” he said quietly.

 Not even half awake, Celia responded with a mumbled “I love you, papá.”

“I love you too, mija,” he said as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Ever the worried father, almost as soon as he was settled in the passenger seat, Frankie turned and double checked her seatbelt. He also spared a quick glance at the dog, also securely belted and already fast asleep with his head in Celia’s lap. And then his eyes found yours. “Is your seatbelt on?” he asked like always.

 “Yes, Francisco,” you answered with a smile and a playful roll of your eyes. “You don’t have to ask.” 

“Of course I do,” he muttered, looking slightly offended. “Gotta keep my family safe.” 

It was a familiar sentiment, but it warmed your heart all the same. So, after you shifted the gear into drive, you rested your hand on top of his, your fingers slotting together perfectly. As you headed west toward the sunset, you smiled to yourself as you felt the cool metal of his wedding band against your skin.

It was a quiet journey down the mountainside with only the intermittent static of the radio, still out of range, between songs and Bear’s soft snores breaking the silence. When you stopped at the first intersection in miles, Frankie turned to you with that shy grin you loved so much. “This might’ve been my favorite anniversary yet.”

“You say that every year,” you teased.

“And each year is better than the last,” he replied emphatically, his brows raising above his wide eyes.

“I know,” you sighed happily. “Can you believe we’ve been married five years already?”

His only response was to lean over the center console and kiss you soundly. A kiss you returned with equal fervor. “I love you even more than I did five years ago,” he said with astonishment lacing his voice when you finally parted. “I didn’t think that was possible.” 

“I know what you mean,” you said as you scratched at his scruff on his cheek. You noted a few new gray spots fondly. “I love you too.”

““So,” he started carefully. You followed his gaze back to Celia. “How about one more?”

“Hmm,” you pretended to ponder the question the two of you had been debating for months. “Our family hike might be over, but the anniversary celebrations don’t have to end just yet. How about we start tonight?”

His eyes darkened as he grinned wolfishly at you. “I can’t fucking wait.”

“That’s a dollar!” Celia called from the backseat.

“I thought you were sleeping!” Frankie feigned exasperation with an exaggerated sigh. Celia’s amused giggles were absolutely infectious.

... . ...

Thank you so much for reading!

... . ...

Forever Tags: @leo-moon​ @readsalot73​ @frietiemeloen​ @huliabitch​ @jerusomeeno​ @benedrylcumbersnatch @b0n-chann​ @scapricciatello​ @liadamerondjarin​ @pedropasscals​ @paintballkid711​ @mistermiraclee​ @honeyand-roses​ @mxsamwilson​ @themilkface​ @mylifeliterally​ @mskitty79 @rosiefridayrogersunday​ @perropascal​ @giselatropicana​ @roxypeanut​ @divineangelix​ @sarahjkl82-blog​ @kylerr @aerolanya​ @artsymaddie​ @linkpk88​ @antisocialshipper​ @toastytaurus @321-lets-go​ @kesskirata @gredandfeorgesgirl​ @lou-la-lou​ @helga1031​ @ktmadden86​ @lesbianlena @mtjoi​ @pedropascaldice​ @swimmingsloths​ @lovelyasfcuk​ @technicallykawaiisoul​ @cinewhore​ @ali-cide​ @reidocognito​ @metaphorical-love-for-a-car​ @iamskyereads​ @magpie-to-the-morning​ @stardust-galaxies​ @melaniermblt​ @jenrebloggingfics​ @gondowan​

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[super-hero-girls-netflix]

I'm back :D

Headcanons on sleepover (Boys and Girls)?

Girls First!

#1: Zee NEEDS to be Host if it's the whole group

Zee hosts as often as she can because she likes sleeping in her own bed and not having Babs' dad knocking on the door every 5 minutes.

It's also hard to coerce convince the girls into magical makeovers if she has to be alert about using her magic.

Also...she is positive that Commissioner Gordon suspects her of murder. (He doesn't, he just has the naturally narrow eyed thoughtful look)

Zee, in other words, prefers to host their sleepovers.

#2: Babs is a Wriggler, Kara is a Thrasher, Jess is a Talker

Diana, Zee and Karen are relatively quiet sleepers. Like sure Diana snores a bit and Karen might drool and Zee might shift in her sleep but they are NOTHING compared to Babs, Kara and Jess.

They are nightmares to sleep with. Babs wriggles in her sleep and babbles too. Especially if she's stressed. She'll be talking utter nonsense. Literally like 'waffles have feelings too' or 'butterfly fart machine'. No one shares a bed with Babs because she is known for stealing the covers and wrapping herself in them. Like a Babs Burrito. And if you try to take some back she will shove you off the bed. Still very much asleep.

Kara, she is a hazard to people everywhere. At least if you don't know how to control sleepy Kara. The girls know the control word 'go back to bed' but that only helps them when Kara tries to fly away. If she's kicking and or punching it's doom. Typically her erratic attacks are sparse and weak, so just like a pro-wrestler but badly aimed, but still...no one sleeps within 5 feet of Kara Danvers.

And lastly Jess. Jess is not much of a physical threat while asleep. She stays in the same position and doesn't even drool or snore or anything. But in the middle of the night you might hear a yelp, or a drawn out very loud groan. That's Jess, she groans a lot in her sleep, regularly. And if she's extremely stressed she'll even mantain conversation. Very poorly. Kara tried once. It went like this.

Jess: The moon, is just a ball of cheese.

Kara: Oh? Can your eat it?

Jess: Like a rock

Kara: What do you mean?

Jess: I'm nice, you're mean.

So yeah...they can share a bed with this chic and they have. That's why most if them sleep with headphones tucked into their ears.

#3 Movie Night

Karen hates horror movies. They creep her out and Kara is obsessed with them.

In fact while Karen and Kara argue about which genre to watch, romance or horror, the rest of the girls watch them fight.

Which is more amusing then it sounds.

#4 Diana can't cook

Diana is a girl of many talents but she can not cook. Not a bit. Not even instant mac and cheese.

Babs has tried to show her how to make a burrito- failed.

Jess a salad- failed.

Karen, some stir fry- failed.

Kara, warning up some pizza- failed.

She just can't cook. Moving on.

#5 Babs is generous with everything BUT her stuffed animals.

These are things she has said:

"Rest your feet somewhere else, Kara"

"Burrito Bat Butch hasn't cuddled with anyone but me, ever. Hands off!"

"Listen, if you wanted a pillow you can just ask- you don't have to treat General George Jennings like that!"

"Give me the bear, Karen. Give me the bear."

"EEY, NO TOUCHIE!"

#6 They can't do a proper Binge Watch with each other.

Babs drinks a lot of soda and munches on a lot of snacks so she has to constantly use the bathroom. Insisting they can keep watching but of course they pause anyway.

Zee cannot step away from her phone. It's always vibrating with emails and messages and she is too invested in her rep to put it down. She is the type of gal who likes texting while watching a show. This drives the other girls up a wall because then Zee insists they catch her up.

Kara cannot, for the life of her, sit still. Even though they are curled up on the couch, one of the girls leaning into Kara's side, or having their head on Kara's lap. Or anything, really. Kara breaks the comfort because she cannot sit still. She shifts too often, changes the legs she tucked under her, stretches her back. It is annoying because then the girls around her need to shift too.

Jess gets restless quickly. She predicts the ending or loses interest when the plot becomes to predictable. So then she starts, trying to be subtle, looking through her schedule and doing school work. Its more infuriating because when the girls ask pointed questions she almost always gets it right.

Diana is of course knew to the world of man and stills doesn't get everything that is happening. Sometimes she misunderstands the plot completely and they have to rewatch the episode, explaining everything that time. This makes the watching chunky and somewhat less enjoyable. Usually Zee is the one to do the explaining. No one blames Diana of course, but still.

And Karen? She just wants to see if her ship lives. She is a fangirl through and through and has to scream into a pillow every time they have to press pause. Which is three to five time throughout a single episode.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Now for the boys,

✨✨✨✨

#1 Food Competition

Barry eats a lot. Barry is never sure how much is enough. Barry can eat a supermarket out of business if he was particularly hungry. Hal knows this. Still his pride won't accept it so every time Hal challenges Barry to eating some disgusting amount of sauce or drink.

Sometimes Hal wins.

Barry has a sensitive stomach.

But usually not.

#2 NO HOMO

Steve doesn't really care how close any if the dudes sleep to him.

Barry doesn't either. In fact its likely he'll fall asleep on someone else's sleeping bag with his feet propped on one of his teammates stomach.

Garth will probably end up trying to cuddle up to Hal or Barry or Steve or any of the boys.

Hal will most definitely fight him on that. What can you say? He's the Type A male. But he really won't bat an eye if Garth does it when Hal is already asleep.

Oliver will sing love songs to his bro's, flirting hard as hell...up untill Hal, Carter, or Steve smack him. Where he pouts and let's Garth and Barry soothe him.

Carter doesn't like being touched in general so like hell he's going to let any of the boys near him. Or hold a conversation with him. He will just sit in the corner of the room, quietly observing. (He is most definitely trapped in the home where they are hosting the sleepover).

#3 Make Him Laugh

Another challenge.

Whoever makes Carter smile or *le gasp* laugh is deemed royalty.

Usually it's Barry. Who didn't even try. He just tripped over something.

Barry wins a lot.

#4 They Order In

Hal refuses to cook on principle. Rather be fed.

Oliver doesn't like getting butter on him since it'll 'destroy' his complexion.

Garth can't cook.

Carter refuses to feed anyone. He'll cook for himself and no one else.

Barry always offers but he is a forgetful cook and they feel bad throwing out whatever abomination he makes so they force it down. Of course, they learned to order in before Barry offers.

Steve can cook but he is very precise about the recipe, double checking and stuff so being fed takes forever if they let him start.

They arm wrestle to decide who chooses what they eat so yea...Carter always picks. Steve usually pays. Barry too. Everyone else is broke as hell.

#6 They butt heads.

All the dam time.

Hal is stubborn and Oliver is prideful.

Carter refuses to cater to anyone.

Garth is immovable if he wants to be.

Steve is trying to compromise but no one listens to the voice of reason over their own shouts.

Barry eats ice cream. They'll tire themselves out eventually.

#7 They Reprimand Hal

These are things they have definitely said at least once during a sleepover.

"Goddammit Hal! She's my science partner! How am I supposed to look her in the eye now?"

"Do you value your life? Yes? Then please refrain from speaking."

"Shut! Up!"

"Who are you calling stupid, stupid!"

"I'll tell Carol."

"The hell, man? Were you born with the unexplicable urge to be an asshole?"

"Go to bed, perv!"

Ah well, imma close it off here. Very lovely prompt. Headcannons are always fun. 👍

[yamithediaperdork]

My son, the diaper perv (Naruto)

In anther universe, in anther time, Naruto didn't lose both of his parents, only his mother. the following story takes place in this universe, with Naruto at age sweet 16.

Minato was taking advantage of the warm sunny day in hidden leaf and his status as Hokage of the village to punish his little pervert of a son. Said punishment involved having Naruto currently dressed in 3 large diapers that were dark blue on the sides, and white in the middle with four light blue tapes to keep them snugly on the 16 year old toddler and causing him to waddle. Of course the diapers couldn't fully be seen at the moment as Naruto was wearing a onsie over them, though the sides of the diapers poked out at the crotch level and the crotch snaps were staining, clearly reaching their limits. the onsie was was colored orange, with a yellow fox on the front of it all chibi and grinning and there was a yellow paci clip with a yellow ribbon on his chest, with a orange paci currently in the 16 year olds mouth. he had on a pair of white socks and a pair of orange sneakers with the same yellow fox on the sides of them and his head band had been taken away since he wasn't a ninja of hidden leaf today, he was nothing more then a big toddler, with the understanding ANY amount of attuide and he could be a big baby, and more attuide after that...a baby girl. Minato lead his son, holding his hand tight and having a diaper bag over one shoulder as they made their way around the village, having decided to take Naruto out for a little bit of take out and of course choosing the furthest joint away from their place as possible. Oh course the sight of a 16 year old toddler would of gotten attention regardless, but with it being the son of the Hokage, and one of the strongest ninjas in the village (at least for his age group) it drew lots of attention and as word spread, more and more people found excuses to come out and watch the toddler be marched by. Naruto for his part was crimson in the face and looking down at the ground, even as small children giggled and pointed and worse, a few of his fellow ninjas laughed and called over to him. "NICE LOOK NARUTO!" Kiba called, cupping a hand to make his voice louder as the passed the pet store. "Awww, who's a cute widdle guy?" Sakura laughed, Sitting in Sasuke's lap as the new couple were by a fountain. "Geez, really? I knew you were a bed wetter." Sasuke said, smirking and kissing Naruto's crush while the toddler id his best to ignore them. "oh, Naruto, your still wetting the bed? you told me you were a big boy!" Minato said, stopping their walk and turning to smirk. "Then again, I know you were lying about being a big boy so I guess i can't be TOO shocked that your still wetting your bed huh?" The Hokage said and ruffled Naruto's hair. "be a good boy and wave hi to your friends little guy, they all think you look so cute!" he added. Case in point, Hinata was currently looking out from around a corner, peeking at the back of Naruto's puffy butt and ended up having a nose bleed and fainting. "H-Hiiii Everyone.." Naruto squeaked out, his paci hanging down and drool on his chin, as he made eye contract and gave a weak wave, and let out a humiliation and fear feared fart.

You might be asking yourself, what could of Naruto had done to cause his dad to punishment him like this? For that, we'll have to go back in time to the night before, around 11:30 pm.

For Minato it had been just anther Friday night, work had been a pain this week and he'd been enjoying a few strong ales and had been looking forward to just conking out on the couch, watching bad TV. For Naruto who had been trying to spike his dad's ale's so the old man could conk out faster, it was perv time. with his dad nodding off slowly on the couch, Naruto rushed off to his room and stripped down to his birthday suit and smirking as he opened his private chest. (his dad trying to be understanding, had told Naruto he could have a chest in his room that Minato would NEVER in anyways shape of form, try and find out what was inside, and just trusted Naruto not to hide booze or drugs in there.. if only he knew.) With his hairless crotch and less then stellar member on display, Naruto reached down making his semi bubble butt jiggle as he pulled out 5 of the same diapers he'd be wearing the next day, though of course at the time the little diaper perv couldn't of known that. setting them on his bed, he reached back in and pulled out a jar of little stinkers poopie pills, just one was suppose to be enough but for a diaper pooping humiliation junkie like Naruto, he took out five of them and his cute little dicklet was already twitching, before he'd even touched it or moved to put the pills in. experience and a stain on his carpet had taught Naruto how fast the pills could work, so he unfolded the diapers and got them ready to go. He was wasn't planning on a major piss feast tonight so he didn't bother with the slits in the front, though he did make some in the back of the diapers so he wouldn't have crap leaking down his thighs. with the diapers pre-powdered and set up so he'd just have to sit down and start taping, Naruto got on his knees over the diapers, and looking at his reflection in the full body mirror by his bed and grinned impishly. "Magic time~" he giggled. Flipping himself off in the mirror, Naruto then sucked on the offending digit then took the finger of the pill's, which were really a little bit too big to go in with ease, and shoved it in his cute little rosebud with the slick finger, moaning softly and his nipples getting stiff and his cock twitching and dribbling pre onto the diapers. "Your gonna be a big." he moaned softly to himself, getting the next pill and sliding it in with the same finger, loading himself up to load his huggies and fingering his boy cunt at the same time. "Stinky." he gasped and reached for the next pill, the flow of pre was almost like a weak steady stream of sticky piss coming out his his cock head, and it was taking all of the boys self control not to pump his dicklet with with finger and thumb, or to just add two more fingers to his back door fun. "DUMB." he gasped softly, getting pill number three in and he was worried he was gonna shoot before he could even diaper up, his desire to do these walks fueled by a week of edging and gooning to porn and hoping he'd last. "B-B-Baby!" he hissed, getting the last pill in and shutting his eyes, leaning forward and gripping the sheets of his bed and barely holding his boy milk in. His breath was coming in ragged gasps as he started to tape up the diapers, his hands shaking but he knew he had to hurry, already the pills were starting to take effect and the cramps were building. He'd toyed with using a butt plug and the poopie pills, but the thickness of his diapers and the size of his toy meant that he just ended up with massive cramps and stuck in a loop of trying to push the toy out only for it to slid back in when the diapers stopped it, and he'd been stuck in a loop of fucking himself in essence for 6 hours, thankfully in his room. while it had been a awesome experience, the massive case of the runs he'd had for the next two days hadn't been and he'd learned his lesson. Summoning a iron willpower, of sorts, Naruto got his big dumb baby diapers on and shaking, made his way downstairs where his Father was snoring softly on the couch. Sliding his sneakers on, and carefully opening the door, Naruto ventured out into the night, not realizing as the door closed it woke his father up. Minato for his part, got up and shut off the tv, a little bit shocked he'd conked out the way he had, but just figured it had been from the work load that week, and made his way out of the living room, figuring he might as well call it a night. He noticed that the front door was unlocked though so made sure to lock it, and the back door before making his way up the steps towards his room.

The night air was nice, not to warm and not to cold and the bugs weren't out in force as Naruto crinkled and waddled, his tummy cramping big time. he was keeping to the bushes and trees when possible even though no one was really out this time of night. Still almost no one didn't mean no one at all and a young couple were out for a midnight stroll as Naruto was crouching behind a bush, willing them to go away as he was at his breaking point. "That star looks beautiful tonight don't they?" The young lady said, smiling and holding her man's hand. "Not as beautiful as you my sweet. just smell that sweet spring air tonight and-" The man was cut off as a loud rumbling wet fart blasted out of Naruto's behind, and was followed with a sick rotten smell. "UGH! Really Kenta? I told you to take it easy on the ramen!" the woman groaned, pinching her nose. "That wasn't ME! I was gonna ask if you were ok!" Anther blast of ass gas filled the air, a sloppy fart and the back of Naruto's diaper was rapidly filling up as the little imp got on his hands and knees and bit his touge to keep from grunting out loud, his dicklet leaking as his asshole twitched and let out wave after wave of semi solid filth into the seat of his diaper, punishing his prostate as it shot out. "oh, real mature! Blame me for this as you shit your pants!" "I'm telling you it's not fucking me!" the couple argued and took off in different directions as Naruto raised his ass in the air, his eyes rolling up in the back of his head and his touage hanging out of his mouth as the diapered perv came HARD, still shitting himself and making his diapers bloat out and discolor.

After cumming a few more times as he finished destroying his huggies, Naruto barely had the power to drag himself home, a combination of the multiple orgasms that had racked his body and well, the massive poopie he'd taken. with the back of his diapers almost down to his knee caps, and having to tug them up, and still have the top of his dirty butt crack showing every few steps, Naruto was relived as he made it to his house and went to open the front door. And it was locked. "Nooo..no no no.." he said, feeling a pang of fear, and tried the door again. "no no no no no." as the fear filled his, Naruto's dicklet added to the semi solid filth, wetting himself as the butterflies built up in his tummy. "ok..ok..Relax..there's always the back door. Dad NEVER checks the back door." he said softly to himself, waddling slowly and making the disgusting mass in his loaded diaper swing back and forth as he waddled around the outside of the house. Somehow despite how much he had hoped his words would prove to be true, a part of Naruto wasn't shocked when he tried the back door and it too was locked. "I..I'm trapped outside..In my poopie diapers." the perv whimpered, his bottom lip quivering. Sure, it had been fun to THINK about something like this while gooning, but the harsh reality of the situation wasn't nearly as fun, though his dicklet was trying to get hard despite the buckets he had already cum. There was NO way he could just stay outside for the night, already he was started to get itchy and his buns were burning a little. Add in his diaper's were at their limit now and he was gonna leak before long and Naruto knew he only had ONE choice to make. He was gonna have to ring the front door bell and hope that daddy could wake up and let him in. Shaking and trembling Naruto made his way BACK round the house, and pushed the doorbell, mind spinning for a excuse, any excuse he could think of.

Minato had been in the middle of a hot dream, where he had a couple of the cutest ninja's under his command on their knees begging for his dick (Both male and female, he was of the opinion a hole was a hole) when the door bell sounded and he groaned. "Naruto!" he called out, banging on the wall that separated their rooms. "go answer the door!" he tried to slid back into his sleep when the doorbell sounded again, and then again, and then fucking again and Minato banged on the wall again. "NARUTO! Go get the door!" he growled. when the doorbell sounded anther two times the Hokage gave up and slid out of bed, tugging a robe on over his boxers and mumbling about how he was gonna give his son a earful after seeing who was at the door, he made his way downstairs. "Never mind! I'll get it!" he called over his shoulder and then went to the front door, opening it without bothering to see who it was. (it wasn't exactly like as the fourth Hokage, he was too worried about a random burglar or the like.) Standing in front of him, smelling like a sewer and explaining why the door hadn't been answered, was his son. "Uh..Hiii Daddy." Naruto said sheepishly, and waved a hand. "...You've got 30 seconds to explain."

Finding out about Naruto's little perversions, Minato had been both mad, disgusted, and amused by it, and once he had Naruto go and take a long shower, he met his son in his bedroom. He had forced open Naruto's private chest, as clearly the boy had lost the right to any privacy if he was going to do things like THIS, and had some of Naruto's diapers out on the bed, the boys chastity cage, and a wooden spoon from the kitchen. "I..I don't suppose we could just um..forget all about this?" Naruto tried, wrapped up in a towel and chewing softly on the corner of it while he looked at his dad. "I think we're past that stage. For the record, if you had just told me you wanted to be a poopie baby, I would of let you do it in the house, safe and sound.I wouldn't of been a fan of the smell mind you, but would of been better then you going out at night." Minato said. "But Daddy! Part of all of it is the thrill of maybe being caught!" Naruto whined. "Well, you've been caught. still thrilling?" Minato asked, smirking and raising a eyebrow "..when you put it like that.." Naruto grumbled. "Since you wanna be a little diaper perv and waddle around showing your huggies off, you're going to get a WEEK of that, because you're going to be in diapers 24/7 and your getting pulled from any missions while your punishment is going on. you're gonna be treated like a little BABY around the house, and a TODDLER while we're out in public." Minato said. Naruto's jaw dropped as his eyes went wide as saucers. "A-Are you freaking KIDDING me?!? I can't go out in public in diapers!" Naruto yelped. "..what would you call what you were doing before I answered the door?" His dad asked. "I..but..that..It.." Naruto stammered. "Compelling argument. now get your butt over my lap for your spanking, and then daddy will be getting his BIG BABY ready for bed. and before you even think of it, Ripping off your diapers is going to earn you a extra TWO weeks in your diapers, and you'll be sleeping in my room with me till we can get BABY Naruto a crib." Minato said, smirking. Naruto whimpered and whined, but all the begging in the world wasn't going to change the Hokage's mind at this point. Accepting his fate, the 16 year old powerhouse slowly made his way over to his father, dropping the towel and showing that despite his protests, at least PART of him loved this. "and this." Minato said, smirking and pointing. "is why your little nub is getting locked up. I doubt you'll be enjoying yourself as much when you can't squirt." "DADDY!" the red faced Ninja whimpered loudly, but got over his fathers lap. "who knows, Maybe Friday's can be your big dumb baby night even after your punishment is over." Minato teased and Naruto grabbed a pillow and buried his face in it.

Ten swat's later that had Naruto bawling as if he'd been beaten, and his little nub was locked up safe and sound and he'd been double diapered. the boy had been exhausted and drained, in all the ways possible and it hadn't taken long once he was in bed with daddy for him to drift off.

Coming back to the present, while Daddy and son where heading for the ramen shop Minato had a few of his elites buying and setting up what was needed to turn Naruto's big boy room back into a nursery, and of course getting lots and lots of diapers for the little baby. The crowd was chuckling and some where returning the waves, though as a gentle wind blew and sent the smell of his gassy baby to them they backed away. "yeah, sorry about that everyone. my little guy is toxic. there's a reason we're out for a walk, I needed to air the house out after somebody woke daddy up with a morning surprise." Minato said, grinning ear to ear as Naruto whined and pouted. "Dadddddy! Dun tel dem that!" the oversized toddler huffed, slipping back into baby talk with a natural ease. Sakura and Sasuke were laughing hard now, though it was Sasuke who spoke up. "oh, you don't have to tell US about that.. We've had to start sneaking him special herbs while on missions to cut the smell down just so we can survive the night." Sasuke said. "Add in we knew about the pull ups 'widdle' Naruto had t wear to bed.." Sakura chimed in then added. "Did you ever wonder WHY I went with Sasuke over you little guy? Don't get me wrong, you're adorable! But I look at you more as a little boy trying to act all tough, while..well.." and she planted a smooch on Sasuke's cheek. Naruto whimpered big time and popped his paci back into his mouth, tears welling up in his eyes and Minato frowned a little. "Hey, don't be too mean to him, he's still my son, even if he's a over sized toddler." he said, a slight edge to his tone and the happy couple gulped and excused themselves. The kept walking and Naruto was rubbing at his eyes with his free hand, sniffling a little and Minato sighed and stopped them again. "I'm sorry Naruto. that must of been hard to see and hear. but it does free you up to just focus on being a cute little guy right?" Minato said and asked, getting on one knee in front of his son who sniffled again and nodded. "..How about daddy carries you the rest of the way and you can just hide your cute little face in his shoulder?" letting the paci all from his mouth Naruto gave a small smile. "I'd wike dat." the little guy in a big boys body said. Minato smirked and picked his son up, letting Naruto hug his neck and wrap his legs around him and then got a arm under the boys puffy bottom, and a hand on the boys back. "Just give daddy a warning before you poot, so he can move his arm, he doesn't want it melted off." Minato teased, making the big toddler giggle. "no pwomises!" Naruto lisped around his paci and nuzzled into daddy.

Getting to the ramen shop, they of course got all eyes looking on them, but by this point Minato was used to it. Naruto squirmed a little though as one little boy pointed and loudly asked his mom a question. "mommy, why's that big boy wearing diapies?" "er..well.." she started. "Naruto might LOOK like a big boy, but he's just a widdle guy." Minato said and gently set Naruto down. The ramen shop was big and popular enough to have a little area for younger kids to play in and with a pat on Naruto's bottom, Minato pointed to the arrangement of soft toys and actions. "Go play while daddy gets us lunch." He said chuckling. "oh! Mommy! can I go play with the little big boy?" the kid from before begged, holding his hands together. "er..well..we were about to leave and-" "Pleasssssse!" the little brunette whined. "Let the boys pay and I'll cover you tab." Minato offered the lady. "well I guess." his mother sighed.

Naruto was blushing lots as he plopped down on his crinkly butt, but the boy, couldn't of been more then 4 or 5 just smiled. "Hi! I'm Akio! what's your name?" He asked, holding out a hand for Naruto to shake. "I-I'm Naruto. N-nice to meet you." The big toddler said, taking the hand and shaking it. while Naruto was in his onsie and sneakers, Akio was dressed in jean shorts and a blue top, looking like SUCH a big kid in the little guy's eyes. "Same here! I've never seen a big boy like you in diapies before, though I've seen some little guys in a outfit like your's at my daycare." the boy said, clearly not trying to insult Naruto but just being bluntly honest like small children was known to be. "O-Oh yeah..it's uh..I like it." Naruto said. "uh-huh! Ninja fox is really all the craze right now at the daycare. I'm more into Ninja buddies myself, but hey, to each their own. did you wanna play action figures with me, or you more wanna play with the stuffies?" Akio asked. "I..I um.." naruto fidgeted and squirmed. "Oh, Should I ask your daddy first? like..are you not allowed to play with action figures?I know some little guys just put everything they can in their mouths." Akio said, smiling and nodding. "N-no I don't chew on stuff!" Naruto weakly protested. "ok, just if you chew on any of the action figures, your daddy will hafa buy them. it's a bigggg rule here." Akio said. Truthfully some of the stuffies looked SUPER tempting, but Naruto didn't wanna make himself look like even more of a baby and scooted on his butt, getting chuckles from those watching the interaction towards the action figures. "So, who do you wanna be? they got a bunch of Ninja buddies here." Akio said, willing to let the 'smaller' boy pick first, just like his mommy had taught him. truthfully Naruto hadn't ever watch the show, and looked around the choices, biting his lip. "Ummm er..I dunno..who do you think is cool?" Naruto asked, trying to cover it up. The little guy picked up that Naruto was clueless and giggled a little. 'guess I shoulda figured, he's all about ninja fox.' Akio thought. "Actually you know what? action figures are totally over rated, why don't we play with the stuffies?" he asked/suggested and patted Naruto head. "You'll have to tell me all about who the coolest though with this Ninja fox stuff. I haven't watched it." he added, trying to humor the big baby. Naruto whined a little, but a big grin came across his face. naturally he'd spent A LOT of time watching the show meant for little kids and began to babble away.

Watching from the counter and chatting off and on with the boys mother, who turned out to be named Yui. "So are you really ready to deal with the horrors of changing diapers again? I couldn't get my little Akio potty trained fast enough." she chuckled, watching the boys roar and having a tiger and fox stuffie mash into each other. "I'll admit, it's not going to be a highlight of this, but well.." Minato started, having given a cover story that Naruto wanted to be a little guy again, not that he'd been busted as a diaper pooping pervert, something that would of ended the play date very fast he was sure. "this is what he wants, and who am I to get in the little guys way?" he finished finally. "I guess." Yui said and chuckled. "they DO look cute playing together. we might have to arrange a play date sometime for the two of them." Minato chuckled and nodded, and was going to say something when he noticed the look on Naruto's face as the little guy froze, on his knees, it was the same face his son had made when he'd been a little guy the first time around, and it always happened right before making 'presents for daddy. "if your really sensitive to smelly things, I'd recommend taking a deep breath now." he said to Yui.

Naruto had almost forgotten about the bulky diapers around his hips as he just relaxed and let himself play, totally thinking of the younger boy as a big kid now and gushing over how cool he was as they had Ninja Fox and samurai Tiger bash against each other. it wasn't till his tummy gurgled while he was on his knees that Naruto crashed back down to earth, recalling he was in diapers, and more to the point: his breakfast wanted to make a exit. A muffled toot escaped his behind before he could start to warn Akio but the other boy just giggled. "hehehe uh-oh, Ninja fox is using a gas attack!" the little guy giggled, then paused as he noted the look on Naruto's face. "er..are you oka-" he started to ask. Started to because the 16 year old hunched over and with a gross fart started to fill the seat of his diapers with next to no control. As his waste poured out of him, more solid then the night before at least, the back of the diapers crackled and ballooned out. the onsie which had been fighting to do it's job waved the proverbial white flag and the buttons popped open, his diapies on full display as he filled them rapidly. "G-Going poopie!" Naruto cried out, a hot jet of pee starting to soak the back of the diaper as the logs kept coming. "er..yeah..I got that.." Akio said, rubbing the back of his head, dropping samurai Tiger and holding his nose. "whew! that's worse then chilli day at the daycare!" "I..I sowwy.." Naruto whimpered, grunting and pushing, tears coming back to his eyes. "H-hey! it's ok! poop happens!" Akio said quickly, dropping to one Knee and popping Naruto's paci in his mouth and giving a reassuring smile, even as he still held his nose. "er Mister, I think your son-" Akio called, looking over to the adults, But Minato was already on his way. "i noticed. thank you for looking after little Naruto for me, but I'll take it from here." Minato said and flipped a coin to the boy who giggled and nodded. "Akio I think it's time we left." Yui called and Akio whined, but nodded. "ooook. Bye Naruto! it was fun playing with you! I go to Lil masters daycare if you wanna play again!" he said and waved bye bye. Naruto nodded and suckled, and waved bye bye as his new (and with this new status as a big baby/toddler) only friend left.

If it hadn't of been for the fact Minato was the Hokage, he was sure they would of been flat out asked to leave, but being the head of the village had it's perks and instead the owner merely asked Minato to change the big baby outside. "I uh..the smell is gonna make people think something gone off in here.." the owner and chef said, rubbing the back of his head. "Fair enough, just get our order ready to go then, I think somebody is gonna want a nap soon." Minato said, Patting Naruto's smelly rear as the big toddler whined and blushed. the site of the 16 year old getting changed on the ground, though he had a changing mat under his butt drew attention from people in the streets, though not too many moved in too close due to the stench coming off the diaper perv. "D-Daddy too many people ar-" Naruto started to whine, but then got a paci popped in his mouth and given a look that told him to keep it in or else. "Dear god, what are you feeding him!?!" One little girl cried, having gotten close because she wanted to watch. but once the diaper was opened up and the smell got even worse she had run back to her mommy, burying her face in her mothers side. "It's all the junk food he eats. this ramen is gonna be a last treat for him, after this it's baby food for widdle Naruto." Minato said and chuckled, getting laughs from the crowd and Naruto covered his face. Despite how mortified Naruto was though, his cute little dicklet was poking strait up, this was again something from a wank fantasy and he was clearly torn between hating all of this and thanking his dad around the paci. "Naruto do you have NO shame!? Getting a stiffie while your dad cleans your stinky ass?" Ino called from the crowd, laughing and shaking her head. "he really doesn't. so don't be shocked if he has a 'accident' while I'm cleaning him." the Hokage chuckled. despite the stink and the disgusting site, Minato was quickly realizing his son might not be the only pervert in the family as he slowly and carefully cleaned his little man up. "If you have any number three accidents little man, you will be getting a extra MONTH in diapers." He said softly to his son, and smirked at the mixed look of terror and lust in the boys eyes as he finished wiping the stinky brat down. Balling the diapers up and using the tapes to keep them closed, he made Naruto hold the poopie diaper on his chest while he got out the new diapers. "I know buddy, that can't smell all that great, but your being such a good widdle helper!" Minato said out loud and the crowd laughed again, and to Naruto's total shame THAT was what doomed him to anther month in diapers, as a big dumb toddler, his dicklet twitching and throbbing and with no stimulation firing off a weak watery load with him barely getting any pleasure from it.

Naruto was basically out of it, barely able to recall most of the trip back home. the utter shame and KNOWING he'd doomed himself to extra time in diapers had fried his widde brain. Getting back home Daddy apparently decided that it would be better if he just out the brain fried BABY to bed, and promised that his son's ramen wouldn't go to waste. Naruto just gurgled and nodded and went night night in daddies room, sucking on a ba-ba of apple juice and thinking about what a total pervert loser he was and giggling even as his eyes closed, and soaked his diapie before going sleepie, both with pee pee and making sure it would be 2 extra months in toddler hood.

the end

[andsmile]

in the last rvd tie-in book, the death of a cheerleader, it mentions varchie was planning a trip to fiji for them to go on after senior year’s over (rip trip to fiji), how do you think it would happen if they were still together and could go? 🥺

i think archie would want to go on a budget. 

veronica would hear the word budget and be like “haha you’re adorable”, 

and then they would argue a little because archie is being stubborn about it. “i can’t let you pay for an international trip full of luxury, if we’re going to fiji it’s gonna be in a way i can afford,” and she makes some comment about “does that mean our romantic getaway starts with you flying coach while i’m on first class?” that gets him sad and salty. 

at some point, veronica is just over it in general, and says “okay, you can plan everything, i have things to do.”

archie takes the job of planning their trip seriously and decides they’ll both fly coach. and rent an airbnb. it’s fiji, it can’t go wrong even if it goes wrong, and it will be good for veronica to experience something different. they’re going to college soon! there’s a big world out there and she can’t think it’s all going to be rainbows and butterflies!

he buys the chepeast flight ticket he finds -- even if it has about three transfers (charlotte to los angeles to new zealand to fiji) and they’ll take 37 hours to get there, but you only live once -- and rents an airbnb that looks good on paper. then, he makes a whole itinerary with boat rides, snorkeling, diving, all kinds of adventures.

when the day of the trip comes, she has three louis vuitton suitcases and he has this big backpack. he says he didn’t really get checked-in luggage and she tells him not to worry about it. she has to pay extra for her luggage to be checked in but doesn’t complain about it. she’s strikingly calm.

archie hasn’t paid to reserve their seats either -- he didn’t even know they had to pay extra if they wanted to get seats together -- so that’s how he ends up on a window seat in row 42 and veronica on an aisle seat a few rows ahead. he gets sad that they’ll have to fly separately. maybe a kind soul will switch places? it’s just one of the planes they’re gonna catch anyway, it’s fine. 

she gives him a kiss and says “see you in LA.” it is very weird that she’s being so cool and collected about this. it freaks him out a little.

it’s a -- big -- man and his wife who sit close to him. a couple, damn it. archie thinks the woman is going to sit on the middle seat but she ends up on the aisle and the man, who doesn’t look very friendly, elbows archie closer to the window. a few minutes later, the unmistakable sound of veronica lodge’s giggling piques his attention. he glances over the seats to see the flight attendant -- some tall, good looking dude -- talk to her about something. “oh, thank you so much!” she says because, apparently, the flight attendant gave her an extra blanket. 

and an extra smile.

well. at least she won’t be cold.

about one hour into the flight -- three to go -- the kid in front of him reclines the seat, leaving archie with even less space to move. there’s also the issue of archie’s legs that start to cramp. he didn’t think it would be so uncomfortable for a tall guy. honestly, it’s kind of an absurd, the tickets weren’t even that cheap. the man besides him keeps dozing on and off and his wife apologizes when there’s some snoring.

when the man does wake up with a shake of the plane, archie asks if he can go to the restroom. the couple takes a little bit to readjust and get up, giving him some space. he walks past veronica’s seat. she looks comfortable with her blankets over her legs. her tray table is opened and it seems like she’s set her own personal spa salon over it while she does coats of nail polish, looking content.

“hey babe, you okay?”

“i’m great. you?”

archie’s legs are sore and he feels claustrophobic, thirsty and hungry, but he says he’s okay too. he leans down to give her a quick kiss before an old lady asks him for passage, making him move. this is so cramped, what the fuck. he envies all the space veronica has because her legs are so tinier next to his. but he’s great. this is fine.

“sir, i’m gonna have to ask you to return to your seat?” the good-looking flight attendant shows up out of thin air. archie narrows his eyes. “you’re disrupting the passage.”

back to his seat -- he swears that its even smaller now -- archie starts daydreaming about sitting together with ronnie and drinking champagne, talking about everything they were going to do when they got to the island. it was their first actual trip together. as adults. he wonders if he was a little... bitchy for not accepting her help.

the kid in front of him definitely farts. archie covers his nose with his hand and looks down at his wrist watch. how come there’s still two and a half hours only on this flight?

when they finally, finally, hallelujah, land on LAX, he meets veronica outside. she looks better than him for sure, more rested, her nails painted and her hair up on a bun and her sunglasses on. archie is starving, sore, over it, and they still have 3948493 hours ahead of them.

“i am sorry,” he holds her by the waist.

“and why is that?”

“because i ruined our trip by trying to go on a budget.”

“oh, archiekins.” she tip toes to kiss him. it makes him feel a little better. “on a budget, without a budget, what matters to me is that we are going to have our summer together, just the two of us, in a magical place. i would walk with you to fiji,” she says. “swim. whatever.”

his heart melts a little. he is completely in love with this girl. “still... flying coach really sucks and we still have, i don’t know, thirty hours to go.”

veronica smiles, her hands wrapped around his neck. “is this a good time to say that i could upgrade us for the next flight?”

“isn’t that too late?”

“it’s never too late for a lodge, lover boy.”

[thetradeway]

Session 46: 3 Jul 2021: Has he tried being less of a malignant turd?

Gosh it’s been a while, hasn’t it? Sadly we are down a Grease Wizard again today; Sophie will puppet Gideon for Ed.

Next week, hopefully Matthew will be starting his own campaign for us - I will try to keep some notes, but I don’t expect they’ll be quite as comprehensive as they are for this one.

Right. Have we all taken rests, yes? Good. Well the good news is, after fighting the hydra, the sea-witch has escaped but the weather and the journey improve. The crew seem happier and we go a few days without incident. Ahleqs wants to feed Simon some lumps of hydra or shark, see if he likes that.

Kessler is trying to figure out water skis, and having another look at the schematics she took from the gnome tinker. We all notice there are religious symbols drawn on the tinker’s door in chalk that were not there before. Ardvack, the Right Ruddy Religious knows all about them - the gnome’s gone for basically every god in the pantheon. Just in case.

Kessler wants to make the invention the gnome was working on, and take it to show him her ‘new invention’. Does Waterdeep have IP laws?

She still can’t quite get it to work, however.

Adrvack goes and borrows the Captain’s teapot and and teas, and goes to visit Amelia. Tarragon heads to the kitchen for some cooking sherry with Lolo. Popcorn has put on some weight on the trip, and is snoring (and occasionally farting) in front of the stove.

Aegea climbs up to the crow’s nest with Melaina and points out some white cliffs ahead. She says that’s how the Sword Coast got its name - because from at sea, the cliffs look like swords. Melaina asks how long before we hit land; about two days.

Ahleqs goes to the poop deck to converse with Sparks about defensive spells when you’re running away; you know, important sorcerer business. Gideon is spending a lot of time with the two dwarves, drinking and carousing. He doesn’t seem to pitch in much with his job on the ship.

Is Carl still in one piece? How’s the sea air treating him? He is wandering around patting people on the shoulder and giving them thumbs ups. Team building. He might draw some new pictures.

Tarragon returns from the kitchens - as she passes, the door of the tinker’s room opens and she hears “Pssst!”

Has she noticed anything strange? “…In what way?” He looks uncertain. In an unnatural way. She asks him what he’s noticed. Has she had any unwelcome visitors in her room? “No! Have you?”

He says he’s probably said too much, and shuts the door. She knocks on it. “Are you in trouble? We’re here to look after the ship and guests, if there’s something bothering you, we might be able to help.”

He woke to a figure looming over him one night. He thinks it’s ‘one of those vampires’.

“Can you remember what he looked like?” Well, he nudges her conspiratorially, all those humans look the same right? “What makes you think it was a vampire?” He said he was. “Have you been tinkering with any chemicals, could you have ingested something that might give you squiffy dreams…?” He slams the door.

Next day the captain comes to each of us to say that we should reach Baldur’s Gate tomorrow. He doesn’t know why this voyage was so fraught with danger, but he’s glad we were here.

Ahleqs says he’s sorry the Captain seems to have been so unwell; he is feeling better now but thinks it was something he ate. Ardvack points out that Lolo has access to all the food; Tarragon tells him if there was poison in the kitchen, he (Ardvack) would be dead by now. He gives that some thought.

Tarragon asks Lolo if she knows of anything the Captain might have eaten; the night before the attack, he was eating with the paying guests. It was mostly finger foods, cheeses and wines and fruit that was brought straight up from the hold, it never went to the kitchens. Hmm.

Is there anything else we want to do before we get to Baldur’s Gate? Ahleqs wants to know what it was that weakened the Captain. He seems hung up on that. He and Sparks have been checking for residual magic after the sea witch’s departure. Sparks thinks the sea witch poisoned the Captain, since he is a renowned fighter and was rendered unable to help when the sahuagin attacked.

What about this vampire? Let’s see if there’s anyone tall and bitey. Kessler: “What if it’s someone small and bitey?” Ahleqs: “Well we’ll have to investigate at a lower level.”

We decide to try and convince the gnome to let us stake out his room, since we only have one night left on the ship. Kessler and Tarragon try a spot of persuasion. The gnome seems delighted to let us, since he won’t be getting much sleep anyway. He tells Tarragon he’ll have none of her cheek, however; she was very rude, suggesting he drinks his own chemicals. She bites her tongue while Ardvack sniggers and walks away.

Ahleqs stakes out the outside of the room in case something happens inside, then he can run and get someone stronger. Carl offers to sit with him; they can play cards. (They’ll have to explain the card game to Carl, as well as stop him eating the cards. Ardvack, explaining: "Every time he lifts the cards to his face you have to say, “Ah ah!”) Usha is going to sit with them as well, and join the card game.

Kessler makes another Tinker check as she works with the gnome on his invention, since they're both going to be up all night anyway, and rolls a 20. They crack it! He gives her a copy of his notes - it’s a tube that lights up when you twist it, and off when you twist it again. She’s learned how to make a Maglite.

Tarragon rolls a nat 20 for her Perception, but nothing happens at all while we watch. On the plus side our gnome friend has not been eaten. He hands Tarragon a gold piece as she leaves and says “Might I suggest a hairbrush.” She stares at him coldly, drops the coin on the floor and walks away.

Tarragon, to Kessler as they walk away: “This look is a choice, I’ve spent time on it…”

Amelia tells Ardvack to put the tea away; they’ll drink hers. Is there anything he wanted to talk about?

He blusters; he’s a little troubled. He’s out of place in this world. Can he be candid with her? “Are you capable?” Yes, when needs must.

He blurts out a load of stuff that none of the rest of us know about being sent to Candlekeep when he was little, parental issues, no friends, off-putting personality. The first adventure he went on was a disaster - a beholders lair, the thing was meant to be dead, they were taking notes when it attacked, Ardvack was turned to stone for 200 years, rescuer was killed in animal attack. Before he was a statue, he used to hear a divine voice - but since he returned he has heard nothing and is feeling very isolated. Is there a way he and Amelia can keep in touch, and perhaps she can advise him? He feels adrift in the world.

She listens patiently. They drink a lot of tea. She goes to her pack and says she mentioned before that she is an enchanter. She gives him a mirror; he can contact her through that over distance and they can talk . Not all the time, though. He thanks her. In the mean time, has he tried being less of a malignant turd?

He tells her about Blue Alley. Has she heard of it? She shakes her head. He tells her about the befuddlement and the poems; ever since then any effort on his part has been ‘poorly received’ so he stopped trying. Amelia asks, who did he write the poems to?

“Ugh. The gnome.”

She’s a very beautiful gnome, Amelia tells him. (Damn right.)

“But she’s a gnome!”

Amelia doesn’t think Tarragon would be keen to marry him, and tells him infatuation is normal. (Sophie describes Matthews’ expression for us; he looks horrified.) Amelia tells him to try gold or a flower next time. She also gives him a book titled ‘Basic Manners’, and tells him if she catches him going thorough anyone’s letters again she’ll have his hand off. “The word is nosy, and we’re all nosy, but we’re not all blatant.”

He promises not to abuse the mirror, and leaves her to her business, taking the book with him.

(He calls her immediately after he’s left. “I’m having problems again!”)

The following morning we arrive in the harbour of Baldur’s Gate; Ahleqs’ home. Are we going to meet his parents? Ahleqs flatly: “I think it’s safe to say that we are not.”

We are only passing through here. Gideon is waving a tankard around; Buckla gave it to him when he won a drinking contest. It doesn’t spill (magically) and he can use it as an improvised weapon.

Lolo thanks Tarragon for her help and says she would make an amazing sous chef. She gives Tarragon her ladle. Tarragon protests at first, but accepts it with her thanks. “Lolo, I will treasure it, thank you.”

Usha approaches us; can she still travel with us? Of course!

The Captain asks if we still want help finding someone to take us to Candlekeep; we’ll have to go by road. A merchant’s caravan, perhaps? We’ll be taking the Trade Way, it’ll be just like old times. Then we’ll take the Lion’s Way, which will take us to Candlekeep. We ask around at the docks for merchants travelling that way, with the Captain leading us. He introduces us to a human merchant.

Rirdun Gritsk is his name, and he has delicious calamari in his backpack. We offer him our protection in exchange for his taking us with him; the Captain recommends us personally. Rirdun agrees.

We’ve found the only squid merchant in Baldur’s Gate; this caravan is going to stink. (Actually he’s taking paper; the tentacles are his lunch.)

Ahleqs holds up his mouse cart and suggests we might make use of it. Rirdun, seeing only a tiny cart, pats him on the shoulder with a condescending look; Ahleqs shrugs and stashes the cart in his pocket for later. Kessler hurts Simon’s fuzzy little feelings by suggesting we hire horses.

Melaina, Tarragon and Ardvack make History checks. Ardvack rolls a 19. He knows that the Cloakwood we will pass is ancient and will contain druid circles and sentient trees. He shudders at Tarragon and says the place is ghastly and should be burned.

Tarragon, dead fucking serious: “If you so much as light a match, I will destroy you.” Fortunately we are only passing, not going through.

Ahleqs, Barometer of Bad, starts to get a nervous feeling in his stomach.

Unless he wants to see his folks or his old boss we can be off, however. He thinks not. "We’ve already had one exposition piece in this episode."

We’re eight days or so out. The first four pass uneventfully.

Tarragon thinks it won’t be long before she can ride Popcorn; he’s getting big now. She can sit and chatter with him as well. (She might tell him some of her thoughts about Ardvack, if she can do it in a language Ardvack doesn’t understand.)

Could Ardvack get a piggyback off Carl? Depends; how heavy is he, and will bits of Carl’s shoulders fall off? Ardvack changes his mind and tries to have a conversation with Kessler instead. She said previously that she wasn’t a goblin, he tries to find out what that actually means because we never revisited that.

The world’s a strange place, she tells him. She’s stuck in the form of a goblin, she isn’t *a* goblin. So… how come? As far as she knows, it’s a curse on her family line. Ardvack is familiar with the concept. Who by, how long ago?

Before she was born. What manner of curse? She doesn’t know, or won’t say. If she has the chance or the time she investigates to try and find out. So far not much luck. She asked her father, and he didn’t know either. Every now and then one of the line is born as a goblin, or some other creature.

Is she related to a Gladstone? No.

She asks him about Carl. Will he keep him going until he falls apart, or will he be allowed to rest? No, he has grand plans for Carl. He knows that’s wrong, right? Carl should be allowed to rest. Ardvack’s plan is to resurrect him. He doesn’t have the magical capability, but he’s looking for someone who does. The plan is to send Carl back to his family. He’s only been dead a month or so.

That kind of magic is expensive. Perhaps a good samaritan will step in, or he will learn a spell that can do what he’s trying to do. Carl can always start over. Ardvack made a promise to him. He looks fondly over at Carl. "I think there’s still something in there."

Kessler, unimpressed: “Yes. Worms.”

On the evening of the fourth day, the merchant tells us there’s a lake where we can camp, water the horse, wash clothes, bathe etc. Ardvack Prestidigitations himself; Tarragon rolls her eyes.

Tarragon does cooking duty. The lake is large, but not big enough to be on the map. We are in the equivalent month of July and the water of the lake is lovely and cool. Kessler sets up her Alarm spell. Ahleqs washes his outer clothes but wears his underthings to bathe; Tarragon doesn’t hesitate but strips off and leaps into the water.

Usha moves her bedroll inside Kessler’s Alarm spell. We take watches. Carl stands watch all night like Arnie in Terminator.

Tarragon rolls a 24 total for the cooking - we can have Advantage on two rolls in the next day. Ardvack refuses the food.

Usha and Ahleqs take first watch; she tells him all about her travels and the barbarian tribe. She wants to try to contact them again. The watch passes without event.

Melaina and Kessler roll Perception - Melaina gets 24. Joe changes to a battle map. Uh oh…

Melaina hears the horse, that has been resting, get up. It looks uneasy, and backs off further down the beach. She hears something moving on the lakeshore. Looking east, she can see - actually it’s not within her darkvision range. But she hears something move. The DM gives her a free turn.

Should she wake us? She uses her action to do that. Kessler kicks Ahleqs, and sets off her Alarm manually. Ahleqs does indeed scream when he wakes up, and that scream is the verbal part of the Mage Armour spell.

Tarragon is up first, with a natural 20 initiative. She moves a little closer and sees the edge of the thing; it’s big. She casts Greater Shldgljdfkajsdadabbllhh, and readies an attack. As soon as it’s within walloping distance, she will wallop it.

Kessler moves up next to Tarragon and takes a shot with her crossbow. (If it comes up “Kessler shoots at Tarrasque” Ahleqs is just going to start running.) Nat 20! Poke in the belly, triple damage. Tarragon fist-bumps her. Her second shot misses. She goes for higher ground, making a DEX check - 9, which is ‘good enough’.

Are we starting from prone since we just woke up, because Ardvack wants to know how far away he can run on his turn? No, because Melaina took her free turn to wake us so we had a chance to stand up before combat began.

Popcorn runs forward and sits on his back legs, roars at the thing and readies an attack.

An Assassin hits Ardvack out of nowhere for 17, which hits. He makes a CON save against the poison. Matthew, OOC: “Is that absolutely necessary?” Joe: “Absolutely vital.”

He fails, taking 8 piercing and 26 poison, as well as 14 sneak attack damage. What the fuhhhhh…

Whatever did that slips back into the shadows. It’s rolled a blinder of a stealth check. Ardvack looks down at the arrow and says “Oh. Um…”

Ahleqs is up. “Well this has changed things.” He finishes casting Mage Armour, and moves up next to Tarragon, believing her to be scarier than whatever is attacking.

Grease Wizard. Normally he would Grease something, that’s the go-to move. What was the trajectory of the arrow, Sophie wants to know? Which way is it pointing out of Ardvack? Ardvack makes an Insight check but rolls a 5; he can’t remember which way he was facing when he was hit. He notes that he might insta-die if that happens again.

Joe lets us know that he will put the assassin token on the map when it attacks; we are to watch our screens. If it rolls a good Stealth (above all our passive perceptions) it will disappear again.

Gideon Thunderwaves the scorpion - oh, so that’s what it is. Nope, because it’s too far away. Sophie goes for Magic Missile instead for 12 damage.

It’s Pinchy’s go. We are not fans of Pinchy. It moves towards us.

Gideon, seeing the thing bearing down on him: “It wasn’t me who sent the Magic Missile - you want the green one!”

It seizes him in one claw. 22 hits, Gideon takes 16 bludgeoning and is grappled. Pinchy reaches around with the other claw and tries to pinch a bit off the wizard to eat. 20 hits for 13 more damage. Finding the flesh a bit solid, he tries to tenderise the dwarf with a little sting. 6 piercing and a CON save, on which he has Advantage because he’s a dwarf. He rolls 14, making the save, halving it, and his dwarven Constitution halves it again to five. Phew.

Melaina is up. She can have sneak attack damage, and hides so she can get Advantage as well. 22 to hide.

Duncan, OOC and laughing: “Wind up that damage machine, get it tickin’ over nice.”

19 to hit. Nat 1 on Sharpshooter damage, which is still somehow 22. Plus 11 piercing. She hits it squarely in the carapace, and hears an audible crack. Something yellow starts to ooze up out of the wound.

Usha, seeing what Ahleqs did, lets out a shriek of her own. She looks around for the assassin but can’t see anything. She hides behind the tent and tries again to locate the assassin, but doesn’t roll high enough.

Ardvack and Melaina see the merchant’s head appear from the tent. He can’t see the scorpion. Still they hear, “nopenopenopenope” and he ties the tent shut.

Ardvack can’t think of anything clever to do. “Um… … … Right.” Oooh! He will summon Admiral Pancakes! (His owl familiar.) The Admiral splits his movement between running and flying but it’s all low to the ground and all furious.

Ardvack hunkers down near the tent and the cart - no, he’s lying down. He’s prone. He’s as low as you can get and has 9 HP left. He chugs a potion.

Carl is next. Did Carl notice where the arrow came from? He rolled really bad Perception. He rolls Insight to see if he can remember. A five; he doesn’t remember. He gets up and goes for the scorpion but can’t reach it. Also, he doesn’t have a mace any more.

Tarragon Rages and runs up to attack Pinchy Recklessly, doing only nine damage. Her scream of rage becomes a little uncertain. She shakes her Shilleblglhlskfgghj’ed quarterstaff. “Come on!!”

Kessler would like to whale on the assassin. Is there a way to look for them? It would take her turn to Investigate, but they will be placed on the map if she finds them. She can point them out to us, in other words. She decides against that. Is she above the scorpion now that she's scrambled up the terrain? She would be, but it’s really big. Could she jump onto it?

She gets the classic reply: “… You can certainly try."

She rolls Acrobatics and gets a 17 - she makes it onto its back. She punches it with her Thunder Gauntlets. (The way the tokens are arranged, it looks as though the scorpion has Kessler’s head.)

24 to hit! and 6 Thunder damage. She goes for another attack. (We all start singing Thundercats, but now it’s Thundergoblin.) She throws in Fury of the Small as well, yelling “Yeehaa!” as she does so. It’s looking damaged now. Mina: “Excellent.”

It’s Popcorn’s turn - he runs up, sees the scorpion is bigger than he thought, slashes at it and misses, and runs away. No Opportunity attack, as Kessler and Tarragon are in melee with it.

The assassin makes some attacks against Melaina. The others see the token, briefly, but Tarragon and Popcorn are facing the wrong way. Melaina uses her Uncanny Dodge on the second attack - she did not see the first as it went into her back. She fails her CON save taking 8 piercing, 30 poison and 14 sneak attack - and she’s down. Not insta-dead but out. The second attack doesn’t come, because the assassin moves to hit Ardvack with it instead.

18 hits him. (It’s not fun when the other team have assassins.) He makes a quick Perception check as the sword plunges into his sternum - he sees pointy ears and greyish skin. A drow? 7 piercing and 24 poison. He makes the CON save regardless.

It slurs into his ear - “in the name of the Lady of Loss” as he slips into unconsciousness. If he survives he can make a History check on that. His dying cry is “Carl! Save them!”

Ahleqs’s turn. He heard a yelp from Melaina and another one from somewhere behind him. He gets a bit closer - but not too much closer - to try and find the assassin. He has Advantage but must roll above a 24 (the assassin’s stealth roll). He rolls a 19. Dammit! He sees Usha absolutely petrified, and both Melaina and Ardvack down and bleeding heavily in the flickering firelight.

Gideon is up - he’s still grappled. He can hit Pinchy with a spell but will likely hit Kessler as well - we decide Ed and Gideon would probably be fine with that. Sophie decides to do as the Grease Wizard would. With a cry of “Unhand me foul beast!”, he casts Grease on himself, and the DM lets him make an attempt to break free at advantage on the same turn. He rolls an 8. Oh well. He remains Greased and can try again next turn.

It’s Pinchy’s turn. He drops Gideon and has a go at grabbing the creature on its back and the creature menacing it from the ground. It goes for a sting attack against Kessler - 18 misses. 11 also misses, but 18 hits Tarragon, who is grappled but halves the bludgeoning damage to 7 because of her rage. Pinchy doesn’t like the thing on its back so it moves, forcing a DEX save from Kessler to remain in place. She passes the save, clinging on as it moves.

Melaina passes her first death save with a 13. She doesn’t use the Advantage granted by Tarragon’s meal, yet.

Usha moves to have another look for the assassin, but can’t find it.

Charity makes a death save - a nat 1 - two failures.

Matthew, sounding slightly panicky: “It’s okay, it’s okay! I’ve got this under control!”

He doesn’t have advantage because he didn’t eat the meal; me, OOC: “That’s what you get for being petty.”

Carl’s turn. Can he do mouth to mouth? He can, but it’s gross. You don’t want him to do it. Carl is furious; a lot of the things that have been going on of late have been leaving him out. He will hit the scorpion with punches. Pinchy McScorpingtons dodges Carl’s 17 to attack. That upsets Carl.

Tarragon doesn’t bother to try to break free but attacks from where she is - and misses. She still has no idea that Charity and Melaina are both down.

The hero of the realm, Admiral Pancakes, enters the fray. He has advantage on Perception checks, so he might be able to find the assassin…? He rolls a 9. Oh well.

It’s down to Kessler. “Save the day!” She has another go at cracking the carapace of the scorpion open with her Thunder Gauntlets. “Put down the crazed druid!” 26 hits for 7 Thunder damage, and she goes for another one. 22 and 12 Thunder damage. It’s very damaged - she gets yellow gunk as splash back. “This is nothing; I’ve seen Gideon.”

Popcorn runs up and slashes it with his claws - he hits for 7 damage. It doesn’t die, so he backs off again. Carl pats him on the head.

The assassin makes another attack - against Usha, and 16 hits. He reveals himself, and Ahleqs sees him. Usha takes 7 piercing and 31 poison - it’s not quite an insta-death, but only by the skin of her knickers. She shrieks and drops like a sack of shit.

What’s Ahleqs’s Passive Perception? 13. The assassin rolls a 16 and is hidden again. But Ahleqs only needs to beat a 16 to spot him, and it’s his turn. He sees Charity on the ground with red bubbles coming out of his mouth. It’s probably not cherry hubba bubba, he decides. He kneels down next to him and administers his only healing potion. Charity regains consciousness, and 8 HP. He feels a bit less dead. Ahleqs: “Help!” He runs back; that’s all he’s got. Charity thanks him, bubbles of blood running down his chin.

Gideon is still heavily Greased, but has been dropped so he is free. He shoots a Scorching Ray at the scorpion, hoping he will miss Kessler as the spell has one target. He must roll for each Ray. Sophie, OOC: "So two on the scorpion and one on Kessler, yeah?"

Gideon shouts “Don’t worry, I’ll save you, goblin!” He does 7 fire damage. “You got in the way, goblin!” One of his attacks is a natural 1 so he rolls on the crit magic fail table. Where did that come from? If this attack deals cold, fire, force, lightning or thunder damage; an elemental (chosen by the DM) appears within 60 feet of you. It is hostile to all creatures. Joe picks water, as we’re next to a lake.

Greeeeeaaaaaat.

We need David Hasselhoff for this. Or Zoidberg…?

Joe has Sophie roll a d4, and whatever she rolls is however many rounds the elemental remains for. She rolls a 3. Well…

It’s Pinchy’s turn. Gideon was past his best, and Pinchy is still snackish. It makes a sting attack against Carl - 16 to hit. Well his AC is 9, so… yes? But he is immune to poison, so he only takes 8 piercing damage. It rakes a claw against Kessler and misses. It tightens its other claw around Tarragon - 22 definitely hits. 16 bludgeoning, which she halves to 8.

Melaina makes another death save - and rolls 17. Matthew: “If you roll a 20 you can come back with - ” Sophie, OOC, voice full of hope: “Super powers?” Matthew: “… One hit point.”

Admiral Pancakes perches on Gideon’s shoulder, and hoots aggressively into his face, but can’t do anything this turn.

Usha makes a death save.

It’s Charity’s turn - he wants to know who’s worse off out of Melaina and Usha, without giving away how alive he himself is, in case the assassin is watching. Sadly Ahleqs screamed aloud what he was doing as he fed Charity the potion, asking consent to do so. (Duncan makes a Henry Crabgrass reference; only I laugh.)

Charity carefully heals Melaina, flinching back from any retaliatory punches that might fly his way. He learned his lesson in the bar fight. He slams a potion and hunkers down again.

Carl does a punch. He punches. Or does he? No - Brother Carl disengages from the scorpion, and makes his way somewhere behind Tarragon so I don’t see where. He holds an attack in case the assassin shows up, at which point he will go full zombie and pull their face all the way off.

Tarragon hits again for 19 bludgeoning damage. “‘Ave that, you scaly fucker.” It’s still not dead! “How???”

As a free action, Joe has Kessler make a Perception check. She rolls an 8. Oh well. She wants this thing to die, so she aims another punch at the soft jelly bit inside where she cracked the carapace last round.

She rolls two nat 1s. Butterfingers. You lose your grip mid-swing and your weapon goes flying 1d4+1x5ft away in the direction of your target. She has gauntlets which can’t really come off so Joe rules that they malfunction. It doesn’t do any Thunder damage for the next round, it becomes bludgeoning instead. She does 6 damage; it’s haggard as all hell, but still up.

It’s Popcorn’s turn - he runs up to the elemental and slashes it with his claws. Not knowing he shouldn’t, he backs up and it takes an attack of opportunity against him - but it misses. He notices that his claws didn’t do as much damage as they should…

And we’ve still got an assassin that no-one’s fuckin’ touched. Speaking of - it attacks Tarragon and hits. She makes the CON save and halves the poison, and she’s raging so she halves the sneak and piercing damage as well. 21 total, bringing her down to 26 total HP.

It’s Ahleqs’ turn. He, being a character that is not optimised, casts Shatter on the elemental. Or he could Banish it, if he can come up with an item that is distasteful to it? Is there anything absorbent nearby, cotton or fleece - or a rag. Yeah! It fails the save and is Banished.

Grease Wizard is up. What’s he going to do… He does a Scorching Ray on the scorpion - all three hit, yay! He does 24 damage - How de do dis! Sophie: “He falls apart into a sort of flurry of little bits and bits of shell and Kessler ends up in the middle of it all stinky, wearing a little shell as a crown.”

We all make perception checks - All of us but Carl and Kessler hear a snarling in elvish (drow, specifically) which is mostly expletives. Those that can see, see a flash of darkness, like the opposite of a flash of light, for a moment and then gone. It looked to be a kind of magic, but the magic users don’t sense any disturbance in the Weave.

Ahleqs: “Was it like ‘ah, fuck it!’ *explosion*?” He rolls 18 Arcana. It was cursing us for murdering its pet. Ahleqs thinks it was a spell, but there was no associated disturbance. The assassin seems to have retreated, however.

Charity heals Usha; she is incredibly grateful. The merchant emerges from the tent. Kessler loots the scorpion, finding a couple of platinum pieces. Tarragon rolls 12 Perception - she sees a marking on the back of the scorpion’s head. She wipes away some goo and makes a Religion check.

It is a black sigil inside a purple ring - an emblem of Shar. Uh oh… Charity makes a Religion check as well, remembering what the assassin said to him (“In the name of the lady of loss”) but rolls a nat 1 for 2 total. He mutters out loud about it, but doesn’t make the connection. Kessler and Ahleqs roll good religion checks. Ahleqs, hearing Charity’s words, is terrified. That was a reference to Shar.

Joe wraps up there as it’s getting late. Before we finish though, we continue another four days travel and catch our first glimpse of Candlekeep…

Matthew will hopefully pick up next week with his new campaign! It bothers Mina greatly that he doesn’t want us to roll our own stats; this likely an intentional effect.

[mrneighbourlove]

Into the Dark and Unknown: Ch 1. Seeking Passage.

Malik finished rocking Donoma to sleep while he read a bedtime story to Revan, watching the boy fall asleep. He kissed his son on the head after he fell into his slumber, and softly made his way to his wife’s side. “All sound asleep.”

Asakonigei was still recovering from the birth of her daughter. Donoma's untimely arrival had really thrown off the Kovina's schedule as well as her ability to bounce back to her usual self. While Asakonigei was annoyed at Doctor Boveir's orders for three weeks of bedrest, she understood why. She nearly died. It frightened her to think she was so close to death, leaving behind her husband and children.

"Thank you," Asakonigei was grateful that Malik had taken most of the daughters concerning their daughter for the last week. She truly did not have the energy. Shifting on the stacked pillows, the Kovina smiled at her husband. "At least she sleeps better than Revan did."

“She sleeps like a Gerudo. Revan takes after you.” Malik lightly jested. He knew he could get away with it in her condition. Carefully, he placed his little girl in between his wife and him.

"Oh, shut up." Asakonigei snorted. "At least I don't snore like a war boar."

“Me? A war boar is more suited to the King. Trust me, I should know.” Malik relaxed, softly kissing Asakonigei’s lips.

"Oh? So should I say you snore like a dragon instead?" Asakonigei smirked. She could jest too, even in this condition. "Definitely fart like one."

“Least you have your humour back.” Malik sighed, thinking how he wanted to stay like this forever. Him by his wife. “You alright holding her? I have some paper work to look over before going to bed.”

"Yes, I'll be fine." Asakonigei gently traced his cheek. "Don't work too late, please? You'll be tired tomorrow if you don't rest."

“You can’t use my stamina for a while. Why worry about it?”

Malik went to office, going through the specially inked documents he needed to address as Lord of Hyrule. Turned out that being the highest rank under the direct Royal Family held more responsibility at times than High General. Grabbing a letter addressed from Al-Daida, he carefully read its contents. His eyebrows raised in alarm. The country was requesting for border security to Omisha. Reports of monsters tearing apart inhabitants. Malik took this most seriously. He often wondered how the most eastern of the continents were like. Did they hold allies? Or enemies? Malik wanted to know the answer himself. Walking back out, he took a seat beside his wife. “Asa?”

Asakonigei jolted awake. She was still a bit on edge since her near death experience. Donoma was still snoozing away, peacefully dreaming. Usually, her husband did not wake her unless it was an important matter. Yawning, the Kovina tried to clear her thoughts.

"Hmm... what is it, Malik?"

“I want your blessing to leave the country to conduct some business for the kingdom.”

"... leave?" Asakonigei looked at him like he had two heads. "Now?"

“Not immediately. But soon.”

"To where?" Asakonigei frowned slightly. "And for how long? You know I hate it when you leave..."

“Omisha. A month at most I hope for travel.”

"WHAT?!" Asakonigei cringed, thinking she'd wake Donoma. But the child still slept. "Are you crazy?! You know the stories that surround that place!?”

“I do not. Besides rumours of monsters. That’s why I wish to go. To learn what relationship Hyrule can have with these eastern countries. What do we truly know of Omisha? Of Malus? Or further beyond? If they are threats, I need to know.”

"Threats that someone else can deal with now, not you!" Asakonigei insisted. "You know as well as I do that monsters exist. Look at Vul'kar! I wouldn't be surprised if there was some kind of demon wandering around those parts!"

“A lord should not but others at risk that he wouldn’t take himself. And was Ganondorf and I not monsters to Lorleidi until you knew us better?”

"You know there's a difference." Asakonigei scowled at him. "This isn't a risk, Malik, it's suicide. You have no guide, no knowledge, and no idea how these creatures fight or they even use magic. You're walking into this situation blind!"

“That is why I will find means of a proper guide. Trust my judgement.”

"I trust your judgement," Asakonigei poked him in the chest. "I don't trust what's out there."

“Then trust my will to live.”

"... you're trying to get me to agree when you know I don't want to."

“I know... but I feel this is something I must do.” Malik lowered his head. “I have my duty to my kingdom. But also, my duty to you. In matters such as these, your word is final. So... what is your command?”

"... I don't want you to go," Asakonigei admitted with a defeated sigh. "But I know why you feel like you should." The Kovina knew how her husband was. He always wanted to keep everyone safe.

“I’ll be safe.”

"... how long will you be gone?"

“A month to two months at most.” Malik gave his wife another kiss. “I will return to you.”

~

“Leere? How are you feeling?”

“Better doctor.”

Leere’s psychologist jotted down her notes. “Have you been finding a hobby like we talked about?”

“Yes. I picked up learning to strum the guitar. It’s been rather peaceful, but...”

“But what?”

“Ever since the removal of one of my marks... I can’t shake questions poking my brain.”

“Questions such as?”

“Who I am.”

“And what do you know about yourself.”

“All I know is that I’m something known as a Mortuus.”

“You’re curious about your origin.”

“And I do not know why. I’ve never cared till recently. It’s maddening...”

“You were adopted into a loving family, but it is not unnaturally to wonder where you come from. These are normal questions to have. Would you like my recommendation?”

It’s why I’m here, is it not? “Yes?”

“Seek the answers that are hidden. Once you have them, you will know where to place your past.”

Leaving the office, Leere took a deep breath. Her next destination was the royal library. She investigated what she could about the eastern countries. The Princess was told information on Malus was nearly non-existent. That geography based, that only the safest way into the country was through the nearly identical country in terms of no information was through Omisha. Frowning, Leere decided to find help.

Her journey brought her to Ralnor’s office. “Brother? Are you here?”

"Come in," Ralnor had papers everywhere and was pacing with a book of trading law in his hand. There was ink smudged on his cheek, and he was sipping tea. The second prince was clearly working hard, but in a chaotic sort of way. "Please mind the mess."

“I see you’re busy, so I’ll be quick. What do you know of Omisha?”

Ralnor stopped pacing and nearly dropped his book at the question.

"... and why does my elder sister wish to know of a place that holds nothing but monsters?"

Leere braced herself because she had a feeling her follow up question would hold a similar reaction. “I heard it’s the safest route into the country of Malus.”

"No, no, no," Ralnor shook a finger. "Al-Daida and the Mabirye Desert border Malus. If you're going to go gallivanting off on another one of your adventures, you can take a Sand Ray across the desert."

“I also researched Malus has an impenetrable mountain that only opens up in Omisha.”

"Good goddesses, Leere, why in the world would you want to go to Malus?" Ralnor set down his book and tea. "I understand that the Mortuus are from there, yet... it's not exactly somewhere that I'd consider visiting."

“I want to learn more about myself. Where I come from.” She had a light smile, cleaning the ink off her brother’s cheek.

"Why don't you just ask your ghost friends? Or better yet, just forget the matter." Ralnor cleared his throat when Leere tried to get the ink off his check. "I am not particularly fond of the idea of you going to such a dangerous place."

“That’s not how necromancy works. And I’ve seen more danger than you have brother.” Leere smiled lightly.

It was then that they heard arguing outside. Malik, wearing his armour from top to bottom, barged in first. Captain Kelly was right behind him, trying to have Malik drop the topic he was about to ask Ralnor.

“Sir! You’re a lord now! You can’t go gallivanting to such a dangerous place!”

“Prince Ralnor. I need your assistance in providing me a guide to Omisha.”

"... the whole castle has gone mad." Ralnor muttered under his breath, rubbing his forehead. "And pray tell, why do you want to go to Omisha?"

“Al-Daida requests troops from Hyrule to assist its border patrols. I wish to investigate myself if such force is required. I also wish to judge for myself if this country is worth our friendship, or our scorn.”

Kelly shook her head. “I have to report you to the Queen.”

Malik snapped his finger immediately at her. “Do that, and you and Tulilad both are fired.”

"Al-Daida?" Ralnor knew of this country from Tebanam's travels. His brother always elaborated on the history there. Not to mention, Faris was the unfortunate victim of the gladiator ring. "You know either way that my brother's wife will find out about this. However, I know from experience if you're insistent upon going, then there is no way I can stop you." The prince sat down at his desk. "As far as a guide, you're out of luck."

Kelly shook her head. “I tried. I’ll take my leave my lord. A good day to you too Prince Ralnor And Princess Leere.”

Malik finally acknowledged Leere was in the room. She held a puzzling look at him. “What?”

“Funny is all. We both have similar goals.”

“You wish to see Omisha?”

“And Malus.”

The Gerudo tilted his head at the woman. Most curious behaviour on her part. “Fascinating. That has been another country I’ve been curious about. Especially ever since members of your race once tried to assassinate the Queen.”

Leere took a seat, knowing better than to ‘fix’ Ralnor’s mess. “Ralnor, what kind of monsters does Omisha hold?”

“I wish to know this as well? Monsters like those of Hyrule, Vul’kar, or even the Calamity?”

"... and why are you looking at me like I'm a monster encyclopedia?" Ralnor asked, feigning innocence. "I've not the slightest idea what you're talking about."

Malik picked up on the sarcasm first. And he was clever enough to know what Ralnor referred to. “No... not him.”

“Not who? Who are-” Leere quickly picked up on it too. Both of them looked at Ralnor, one more annoyed than the other being disgusted.

"It's him or nothing at all." Ralnor then picked up his tea cup and sipped. Loudly. Then he set it back on the dish. "Take your pick."

Malik paced the room. Was this need to investigate Omisha worth risking his life by associating with that monster? Stubborn, a drive burned in Malik. If Klinge wasn’t afraid of that freak, then why should he? “Then he will finally have a use in serving his country.”

Leere watched as Malik left Ralnor’s office to head to the castle’s underground entrance. Oh boy. He wasn’t. Oh god. He was. “Klinge! Wait a second!”

As she walked to pick up her pace, her mind raced at going to see her old pals underneath Hyrule again. It had been at least a year since she saw them all.

"Remember, he serves no one but her." Ralnor decided it was best for him to stay out of this situation. His stress levels were already high enough. Anymore, and he was surely to go gray prematurely. "Good luck!"

“We’ll be careful.” Leere called after him. To be truthful, ever since he became human, Leere found Klinge to be so much more unpredictable.

The two of them made their way to the underground. Malik took a deep breath once he felt the feeling of eyes upon him. “Master of the Hive. Show yourself.”

White and Blue were the ever-faithful scouts. No soul explored the endless catacombs without one of the sisters knowing. This time, however, the sisters were unsure. Leere never brought friends down in the tunnels. She knew better. Exchanging a glance, White slowly descended from the ceiling... and snatched Leere, then zipped back to the top.

"Leere!" The half-spider woman whispered to the princess. "Who has followed you?! Bonegrinder will be most displeased!"

Leere’s instincts were to attack before realizing it was simply the twins. At least White was gentle with her. “Don’t. Scare me like that. It’s just Klinge and I. Well, he goes by Lord Malik now.”

"Sorry, I had to snatch you without him noticing." White then carefully handed the princess to her sister. "And Klinge? You mean the one that Bonegrinder fought? He was undead, don't be silly."

"He smells familiar but..." Blue scrunched her nose. "Different."

“He’s human again.” Leere gave light blush as White pushed her into Blue’s bussom. “Please let me down gently.”

"Aww, do I have to?" Blue nuzzled Leere's neck. "We could always go for another threesome..."

"You did seem to enjoy yourself." White purred at the princess. "Pleasure is addictive."

“I’m here on business. Not pleasure.” Crap, they did feel good though.

“Leere?” Klinge looked around. She wasn’t next to him anymore. Scowling, looked upwards.

“You two need to put me down and ask Bonegrinder to come out before he starts a fight.”

The sisters easily blended into the darkness, but Leere's fair skin made her visible.

"Play later then?" White gave her a deep kiss as he lowered the princess by her web. "I'll do that thing with my tongue you like."

"We'll take you to Bonegrinder." Blue told her, "He has been occupied lately..."

Leere blushed crimson red, a little dazed from the kiss. Did she slip in tongue? “I-I’ll think about it.”

Malik saw Leere descend from the darkness on a web. “I suppose you sought invitation.”

“They like me more.” Leere watched the web move as it was still in her grasp. “Follow me.”

White led Leere by the web, leading her down the maze of endless tunnels. Soon enough, there were people in view. Some were human, others were various species, but all of them were rejects of society. Disabled, mentally or physically, criminals, prostitutes, orphans, or simply those who had nowhere else to go lived in the cocoon of the Hive's operations.

Malik and Leere knew these people both. Leere gave a light smile, while Malik was glad his helmet covered his sadness at seeing the state of the most poor. He wished he could do more for them.

It was only when Malik and Leere were in the heart of the area that White and Blue crawled down from the ceiling. The sisters were massive, but nowhere near the size of the Hive's leader. Both circled around Malik in opposite directions, passing each other a few times, inspecting him.

"Familiar but different."

"Different but familiar."

"Smells like him."

"But is alive, not dead."

“You have the beauty of an angel, yet the disgusting vulgarity of a demon.” He put his arms on his hips, unamused.

“Klinge, be more fair. They’re just stating facts.”

“And I’m not?”

"Tsk, we're not demons, far from it."

"We are Echidnans."

"We are many dwelling in the dark."

"We are the children of Mother."

"We are the descendants."

The way the sisters spoke in unison almost made it appear they shared one mind.

“I know what you are. And I know that you merely speak like that to commit to a bit. We have business with your master. Summon him. Now.”

Leere cleared her throat, almost wishing she done this alone. “I’m sure Bonegrinder is busy, but this wouldn’t be brought to his attention if we felt that it wasn’t necessary of his attention.”

“And trust me, I really don’t want to be here.”

"If you do not wish to be here, then why come here?"

"Contradictory, this one."

"Bonegrinder will see the princess first."

"Ladies first."

"Rude gents must wait."

"Didn't even say please."

"This is why I like women."

"Come, Leere, we will take you to Bonegrinder."

"You stay here, the queen's watchdog.” Blue offered the princess her hand.

Malik looked to Leere. Had he not had a family to go back to, he’d have objected. “Will you be fine?”

“I will. Just... don’t let them get under your skin.” Leere walked with the twins, taking Blue’s hand.

Bonegrinder was occupied... in a way. The giant snake was... sleeping. Soundly. Deeply. And snoring to boot. There were only a few reasons of why he would sleep. The first was after a big battle. The second was a lack of magic. And last but not least, if he had a long, draining vision.

Leere softly placed her hand on his chest. “Bonegrinder? Are you well?”

"He has been having many visions of late." White told Leere as the princess examined her sleeping friend. "He's been exhausted."

"And muttering that silly song about the prophecy over and over." Blue added to her sister's comment. "He swears something big is going to happen soon."

"Yet, we still have no clue how the Mother Goddess is talking to him."

"Or even if it is the Mother Goddess."

"Balance finds her unique way to speak to us all."

"For Bonegrinder, it is either a dream or a nightmare."

"Rambling in a language we do not understand."

"It predates history."

"We hope this will cease soon."

"Even Sheer-Kahn has been worried for him."

“Is he to sleep for a while then?”

"If you'd like to wait, you can sit with him." Blue suggested. "We've been taking turns. Red was supposed to be in here, though something tells me he saw a piece of ass he couldn't resist."

"... wait." White stopped and looked at her sister. "You don't think..."

Then they both cringed.

Meanwhile, Red was trying his best to get Malik to undress.

"You're the finest piece of testosterone I've seen down here in a while." The incubus winked at the Gerudo. "How about you show me that six-pack? I have to inspect everything and everyone that comes down here, so that's the first order of business, handsome."

Malik tolerated the succubi touching his armour up until he reached to pull his helmet off. The Gerudo grabbed the demon’s arm with his robotic hand and squeezed. “Don’t. Even. Think about it.”

With a rough throw, he pushed him away.

Leere eases herself by laying against Bonegrinder. “I’m sure he’ll wake up if I keep contact with him.”

"Oooh, you're the type who likes do to it rough, huh?" Red took to floating around Malik. He rested his chin on his hands, seemingly lying in mid air. "Let me guess, you got a thing for bondage? Spanking?"

"Will you leave him alone?" Blue approached the pair with an exasperated sigh.

"This one is married."

"And your point is?"

"I don't think he'd cheat on his wife with you."

"Oh, but there's a way he can do it without feeling guilty." Red then shifted into an exact copy of Asakonigei and winked at Malik. "See? What's your taste, handsome?" The clothes swapped to leather. "This? Or perhaps this?" Then lace appeared. "Or maybe even this?" Last but not least, spandex covered the incubus.

Malik took out a piece of holy silver, and slapped it against the palm of the succubus. “Leave the image of my wife alone demon. And leave me. Use this to buy yourself a drink.”

"Ow! Stingy, stingy there, muscles." Red shifted back into his usual appearance.

"Stubborn, this one."

"Oh, I could have told you that ages ago."

While Blue and Red were keeping Malik occupied, Bonegrinder started to rouse from his deep slumber. He felt so drained, so tired... when would these visions end? He was not sure if what he saw were memories of another life or the Mother Goddess speaking to him. Sometimes, he swore he heard her voice. It was confusing and only a few pieces made sense to him. Yet, he could never tell the others that. Surely they would think he was crazy... but then again, they already thought that. "Tiny princess..." Bonegrinder smelled her. "This old snake was not expecting your company. If he forgot a previous scheduled date, he apologizes."

“I came to you.” Leere felt content being next to Bonegrinder, like an ex she left on good terms with. Her hand held his, giving him a soft smile. “Are you well?”

"He is tired, Leere, his magic helps him and exhausts him." Bonegrinder shifted his large coils, using his tail to gently stroke her hair. "It has been a while, tiny princess. He trusts you are better?"

“I am. Thank you for your part in helping me with that.” She patted his chest. “I’ve come to ask your help with something. A thing I think only you can do.”

"Oh?" Bonegrinder was curious about this request. Leere was not the type to generally ask for help with a task. He then asked dryly, "This old snake can smell your friend outside, and knows it's him, though he's not undead no longer. Does it pertain to Commander Arsehole?"

“I have my own reasons for what I seek. As it turns out, he has a similar objective. We need passage into Omisha.”

"HAHAHAHA!!!" Bonegrinder laughed at Leere's statement. "Oh, that is a good jest, tiny princess."

Leere frowned, hating when others laughed at her plans. “I’m serious Bonegrinder.”

"... serious?" Bonegrinder stared at her in disbelief. "Tiny princess, forgive this old snake, but passage into Omisha? Whatever for? Mother is not too keen on having humans in her land. You know the stories of what happens to those who trespass."

“I want to see my homeland. I want answers for myself.” She tried to crack a light smile. “There’s no reason to fear Omisha. I mean, if they’re like you, what’s to fear?”

"Trust Bonegrinder, tiny princess, they are all not like him. Some are much worse." He booped her nose with a clawed finger. "And no one goes into Mother's lands without her knowing. Bonegrinder's kind have always been wary of humans. Long ago, they tried to cage us, sell us, make clothes and jewelry out of us. If you are insistent upon doing so, then you will have to pay tribute to Mother. You and the commander."

“Very well. You come with us then.”

"Now that is laughable, you know that the commander is not necessarily fond of Bonegrinder after our fight." The Anagari flicked his tail back and forth. "Didn't like the fact that he could not win."

“I think he’s more cautious with his life now. He won’t pick a fight with you.” She gave his tail tip a grab. “We’re both going, for our own reasons. I’d prefer if I had a friend rather than someone I’m indifferent to by my side.”

"Hmm... Bonegrinder will admit, he does not like this idea of yours. It was more appealing when he had to take your pompous blondie brother." He snorted in amusement. "Mother thought he was pretty and it was funny to see him squirm." He then relented. "If you wish to go, you must know that if Mother reacts poorly to your presence, there is nothing he can do against her. She is strong and ancient, even more so than Bonegrinder."

“I understand. Will you guide us?”

"He will guide you on one condition." Bonegrinder held up a single claw. "You must promise to do what he says, no matter how strange or revolting it may seem. Omisha has different customs than here."

“... I promise.”

"The commander must too, tiny princess. You have to convince him." Bonegrinder slowly rose from his comfortable position, stretching. "He is the one who will cause more strife. And this old snake does not want to inform the wife and little ones that their father died due to sheer stupidity."

“He’s not stupid. Just brash.” Leere shook his hand. “So we have a deal?”

"Brashness is usually due to stupidity." Bonegrinder still appeared hesitant. So he added one more stipulation. "If he says we need to leave. We leave. No objections."

“No objections.”

"Then agreed, tiny princess." Bonegrinder slithered forward, having grown more over the years. "He will need some time to prepare. Until then you are welcome to explore the Hive, yet something tells him that your commander will..." The Anagari snickered when he saw Red pestering Malik. "Will prefer to wait in the castle."

“Very well. We’ll await your word.”

Malik made his way into Bonegrinders chambers, not longer being able to tolerate Red. “Bonegrinder. I’m sure Leere has made you aware of our desire.”

"He has discussed the terms with the tiny princess." The Anagari told Malik as he went in the direction of the underground library where he kept his magical texts. "She will inform you. Shall Bonegrinder have beautiful Blue and White escort you back?"

“I will escort the Princess back myself.”

"Very well." Bonegrinder then told the two of them. "Meet here in three days. He will be ready then."

“As you wish.” Malik gave him a small bow of the head, then extended an arm for the Princess to lead. He’d have his answers of Omisha soon enough.

________________________________________________________________

Next Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/190050527306/into-the-dark-and-unknown-ch-2-sweet-mother

[lilacgguks]

Ruin the Friendship?

part 1.5// movie night!

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: fluff with a side of crack and angst if you squint

authors note: edited!!

“JEONGGUK OPEN THE DOOR! It is way too hot out here!”

 Being students at the School of Performing Arts meant constant vocal training and dance practices. You, possessing an unmatched drive and high ambitions also meant bringing tons of unnecessary stress on yourself. You swear you wouldn’t make it without the support of those around you. All of your friends were some of the most caring people, especially your boy best friend of three years, Jeongguk. 

Of course your friends would go out of their way to make sure you were okay, but Jeongguk? This gentle giant would rip out his spleen if it would mean he would get to see you be happy. He always went above and beyond for everyone which is only part of the reason everyone loves him.

Not to mention that fluffy brown hair, parted in the middle, which he has been growing out in a way that makes it look perfectly tousled, that wide bunny smile that you believe could make flowers bloom, the way he scrunches his nose, the way he eats like a bunny, the incredible talent he has alongside the passion he has for his interests. These are only complements to his heart of gold. 

It’s easy to fall for him and unfortunately, this is what’s happening to you. Telling him your feelings is out of the question though, you’d do anything to maintain your nearly perfect friendship with him. Somedays it seemed like the only thing keeping you going. You can imagine how many other girls are in the same boat as you.

There’s a handful of them that only like him for his looks, which you find despicable and the others like everything about him. He didn’t have many female friends because, in his own words, “girls are scary”. You were the only girl who truly knew him and his heart; this is why you consider yourself to be lucky. As long as you had him in your life, you’d be good with that. But there’s no denying that the thought of him being happy with someone else hurts.

“(Y/N)! You’re finally here, you have no idea how much I missed you. I forgot what you smelled like.” he squealed as he engulfed you in a bear hug and took a whiff of your hair.

Laughing, you shove him off of you, “Get off you, do I look like a damn wolf to you?”

“Thought you knew I was a furry (Y/N)” he murmured. Jeongguk grabbed your arm and yanked you inside of his home, leading you to his living room.

He pointed to the table with snacks and started explaining what he had set up. You zoned out completely as you took in his appearance. He sported his typical parted hair, silver earrings, a plain white tee, grey sweatpants, and of course, his stupid iron man socks.

Suddenly the raven-haired boy whined, “Why aren’t you paying attention? Is it hot in here? Why are you so red right now, you damn tomato?”

You immediately snapped out of it and walked over to his air conditioner and put it on the medium setting. “Actually yes, you fart face. It is hot!”

Laughing he nodded to the plastic bag you were carrying, “What did you bring?”

“The superior Doritos, the purple ones of course, Sprite cans, and 40 McNuggets!” you explained while emptying out the bag.

He looked at you in awe, “I always knew you had an elite mind. It’s kinda like your brain was crafted by intelligent aliens and God shat you out himself.”

You snorted at his compliment and looked at the Barbie movies he had out.

“(Y/N) put on the superior Barbie movie please!” Feeling sure of yourself you picked up Barbie as the Island Princess and walked over to the videoplayer. Just as soon as you got up, you were being tackled to the ground.

“I meant ‘superior’ as in Thumbelina, not this Island bullshit you ass crack” Jeongguk said while walking over to the videoplayer.

Still on the ground, you garnered all of your strength to kick the back of his legs and he fell down right on top of you, crushing your ribcage.

Hysterically laughing at the pressure on you, you managed “YOU BITCH BIG GET OFF, THUMBELINA IS NOT BETTER!” as your laughter progressed into snorting and wheezing sounds.

Jeongguk propped himself up on his elbows and stared down at you, “So fucking cute and ugly at the same time.”

“And just who do you think you’re calling ugly, you cow bitch?” you retorted and Jeongguk chuckled at your choice of insult.

“(Y/N) I think you missed the part where I called you cute” he said and shot you a wink. You knew he was just messing around but his comment made butterflies arise in your stomach and caused you to look away from him.

Jeongguk, looking slightly disappointed at your lack of a response was about t get up until you quickly locked your arms around him. “Pick me up you sweaty ass.”

He pulled you up with him, smiling to himself and said “I nearly gave you a concussion so I guess we can watch your Island Barbie crap.” he said as he put the disc into the video player.

You threw yourself onto his couch and he followed suit, crashing himself down on top of you. Feeling an urge to be closer to him, you wrapped your arms around his chest. Him being the big baby he is, enjoyed the warmth you provided him and pulled your arms to be tighter around him.

The two of you watched the movie in comfortable silence until you let out the most dramatic gasp possible when the part where Prince Antonio proposed to Rosella.

“Man, how do animated characters have it better than me” you whispered to yourself.

“Hmwhhadyamean?” Jeongguk said while shoving 4 nuggets in his mouth.

“Hm? Oh nothing it’s just funny how something that cute and magical will never happen to me.” You were just making a lame joke about it but he picked up on the slight hurt in your voice.

Pouting, he flipped himself over so that his head was on your belly and he peered up at you. “Don’t say that! Personally, I think everything about you is lovable and anyone would be lucky to have you.”

His words of encouragement had the opposite effect on you than he had intended so you offered him a slight smile. He knew this was something you did when you didn’t want to continue a conversation, so he just let it go. 

“The right person will come along, I know it (Y/N).”

If only he knew that he is the right person, you thought to yourself.

He nuzzled his head into your stomach and you raked your hands through his silky hair. He hummed, loving how comfortable he felt so you continued to massage his scalp.

“Bro I hate this damn Tika bitch. Dirty ass elephant. Worst character in the movie.” you growled. 

Jeongguk laughed at your sudden outburst and suddenly let out the ugliest ogre snore. You tried to stifle a laugh because of how reminiscent  of Shrek he sounded.

You couldn’t help but notice how content and happy he looked as he slept. Maybe he looked so happy because he likes having you as a friend and nothing more, you thought to yourself. Maybe it truly was better that way.

[mocharoll]

Hey! I wrote a thing (Dragon Age 2 F!Hawke x Anders, Act 3)

I’m near the end of my second playthrough of DA2 now and I had to scribble some fluff before I finished it, so I did something and thought I’d share it! Done in one sitting (sorry for any spelling-grammar mistakes) and I’m certainly not the most proficient scribbler, but maybe you’ll find some bits you’ll enjoy <3

This is what I had in mind with the Raven part, btw.!

Edit: Has a title now.! 

Heart of Mine

It was terribly early in the morning when the beams of the new born sun shined onto the grand Amell estate and through the narrow space between maroon curtains, right into its resident’s eyes. Hawke groaned at the intrusion and flopped onto her stomach in a lazy attempt to escape lucidity. She frowned into the pillow when she couldn’t feel the weight of her lover’s shoulder beside her, or his arm laid lazily across her waist. She brought her hand up from under the pillow and let it fall onto the empty mattress. She made a confused sound and groggily lifted her head to look up. 

Marian sighed. It must have been a while since Anders got up, the warmth long gone from the sheets. Although he usually woke up a bit earlier, he would wait for her to wake, burying his face into her neck and playing languidly with her hair, for the subtle change in her breathing and the slight shuffle towards him. Except for the days when he decided to make advantage of her being horribly ticklish. Then he would thinly blow air into the crook of her neck, or sneak a hand up to her waist and brush the tips of his fingers over the side of her stomach, wait for her to yelp and hope the pillow she attacks him with isn’t the frilly one that feels like a rock. They’d wrestle and frolic around for a bit, of course, the entire estate lighting up with their cackling and the other residents’ warm grins. Or maybe even a perfect wolf whistle and clapping if Isabela happened to be around. If they listened just slightly more carefully they would even hear Marian’s snorts that she often let out when she was laughing too hard- which happened quite often around her friends. This would go on long enough until one of the combatants finally used their head, tickles slowly replaced by wet kisses, and soon enough the Amell estate would go back to its semi-awake state of peaceful silence with an unsaid truce. This was not one of those days.

It was no secret that Anders had not been his usual self lately. He’d grown solemn and reclusive, nowadays barely speaking to anyone outside of his closest circle, voice rough and tired from speaking either too loud, or too silently. The growing tension between the mages and Templars wasn’t helping either, and Marian could see that he was barely holding himself together with the ever-present bystander who would sneer and mutter under their breath to the ragged apostate, the fool, trying to make a difference.

He’d began to see shadows in the corners, both from the outside and within, threatening the life he had built for himself and everything, everyone he cared about. Even during the squad’s weekly assembly in the Hanged Man where they’d play Wicked Grace and drink and laugh the hours away, Hawke would feel him tense every once in a while, looking for the tell-tale signs of his mood spiralling. 

---

It was some time past midnight in the Hanged Man yesterday, when she glanced at his hands and saw that his grip on one side of the chair was so strong his knuckles had turned white. But soon after she pried his hand away, entwined her fingers in his and nuzzled into his shoulder, she felt his entire body tremble and the tension dissipated as quickly as it first crept in with a deep sigh. Isabela looked on at them in wonder and shook her head slowly. “I swear, Hawke, whatever magic you’re using to calm him down could bloody well knock out the entire city. Would make our job a whole lot easier, believe me.”

“They’re in love, Rivaini,” Varric would say matter-of-factly, leaning back. “I’m not sure batting eyelashes at cutthroats and smugglers would have the same effect.“

The pirate leaned in with her mug of ale at hand and smirked. “This is Hawke we’re talking about. You never know.”

Varric’s laugh was sincere. “That’s true.”

“Wait! Is he…” Merril gasped, hands covering her grin. “Is he sleeping?!”

“No, I believe they’re just-…” Aveline blinked. “Is that sound coming from him?”

“Judging by the way the poor girl’s shaking from laughing so hard I’d say yes.”

Anders suddenly jerked his head up just as it was about to fall.

“What,” he protested groggily.  “No, I’m-…”  

“Right,” Fenris crossed his arms, “And we just happened to imagine you snoring like a wild boar in pain?”

“Now that’s a horrible exaggeration, my dear Fenris. I’d say it’s more like… a dog’s or… a cat’s purr.” Isabela glanced at them. “A loud one.”

“Really? I found it to be more similar to the sound ravens make when you scratch their beaks.”

Isabela nearly spat out her drink. “What does that even mean, kitten?”

“Well you know, they really like it when you touch and gently scratch their beaks, and them letting you do that means they really trust you. But I suppose it sounds more like… I don’t know, a snort or, a fart than-”  

There was a tumble and the next second Hawke was on the floor, shaking from laughter so strong she couldn’t make a sound.

“Oh, dear.”

“Someone get her up for Maker’s sake. If she lays there any longer she’ll be sick.”

“Is she even breathing?!”

“Quit with your glaring, Blondie. I can see you holding it in from here, you’re not fooling anyone.”

“I hate you. All of you. You, especially. And you. I’ll speak with you when we get home.”

“Oh, stop,” Isabela hoisted Marian up to her feet and winked as she walked back to her seat. “You love it.”

“Wha-.. You mocking me?! I don’t…” A kiss on the cheek. “Even know…” A kiss on the side of his jaw. “Why I’m letting you…” A kiss on his neck. “Drag me into this…” And just a flash of teeth. “I… Maker’s breath, Marian.” The lilting growl at the end made her look up.

“I’m sorry, were you saying something?”

He looked at her and shook his head at her oh so innocent expression, and then his narrowed eyes travelled down and up to her face again. There was that smile. “Nevermind. Minx.”

Isabela gestured towards them incredulously. “She did it again. At least tell me you’re letting me come with you tonight.”

“Oh no, please,” Hawke raised her hands in mock horror. “If you join in too it might just kill me.

Fenris groaned.

“Alright,” Anders coughed and stood up, slipping his arm around her waist. “Thanks for the drinks, Varric. I think we’ll just be leaving.”

“Agreed. There is work to be done on your sleeping schedule, dear.” Marian laughed and waved.

“Right,” Varric clapped and rubbed his hands together. “Now that the lovebirds are gone, how about a real round?”

“I heard that!” a yell from downstairs.

“You know I mean nothing by it, Hawke!”

And the night went on with all trouble forgotten.

 ---

Hawke smiled softly to the memory as she dressed, made the bed and opened the curtains wide. The sun was so bright today and the weather was so clear that it hit her right in the face and she sneezed.

“Bless you, messere!”

Maker, was she that loud?

“Thank you, Bodahn!”

When she was ready, she went downstairs and greeted the old dwarf and his son, asking if there was anything they needed from the markets.

“Oh, we’re adequately supplied at the moment messere Hawke, but thank you regardless. And my boy is working on the runes you requested as we speak. They’ll be ready in just a couple of hours I believe.”

“Enchantment!”

“Just so.” They said in unison.

“Thanks Bodahn. Also, do you know when Anders left home? Did he tell anyone where he was going?”

“But why, he’s in the library, messere. I heard him get up about an hour ago at dawn. He doesn’t usually come downstairs this early in the morning but he seemed to be in good spirits during breakfast. He’s been in there for some time now.”

Sandal turned to her, his face covered with dust from the runes, but the emotion from his eyes was unmistakeable. “He looks sad.”

“But as you see, my boy thought that something might have been troubling him.”

Hawke nodded, more to herself than at anyone else, and looked back at Sandal, who was still looking at her with meaningful blue eyes. The boy’s sensitivity to Anders’ emotions and when they were susceptible to shifts never failed to amaze them. Perhaps he could sense the fluctuations Justice created, or perhaps he was just better at detecting subtle changes in his demeanour. With his gifts, she and Anders suspected it was both.

“Sandal. Are you sure he looked sad? Or did he look worried like last time?”

Sandal shook his head determinedly. “Sad.”  

The time period between the shifts had also gotten shorter, and they were more abrupt. Sometimes Marian would find that when he was perfectly calm one moment before she went and took a bath, only to hear the echo of his hurried footsteps as he paced back and forth in their house, repeating pieces of his manifesto he was formulating, then he would stop abruptly, and run to the library to write it all down. He wouldn’t lift his head for hours even as Marian came in periodically with a glass of water and a plate of food, looking over his shoulder wordlessly to watch him write in an almost frantic pace, but he always paused and tilted his head towards her general direction when he felt her lean in to kiss his cheek.

“Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

He always stayed up too long and she always woke up when the bed bent as he fell face first onto the bed. She would hear a soft hum of approval when she turned and ushered him closer to her.

And then there would be times when she assumed even Justice grew too tired to help his host recover from this, and Marian would find on some days that he had barely moved from where she’d last seen him.  

“Thank you Sandal. I’ll go check on him.” He smiled brightly at her.

“Thank you.”

 ---

She walked slowly up to the library door and knocked with the usual rhythm and waited.

“Come in.”

Anders was sitting on the topmost stone stair with a quill, a variety of books beside him, and the pages of his manifesto’s drafts were beside and in front of him, some of them crumpled up. He was slouching, his elbows against his knees, his hands formed a triangle where he rested his forehead against the point his thumbs met. He didn’t notice her at first.

“Dear?” Her voice soft and barely there as if to mimic his.

He blinked and lifted his head slightly to look up with hazy eyes, focusing in recognition. He smiled faintly.

“Hey, love.”

“Hey,” she spread the curtains upstairs, enough to let more light in but subtle enough to not startle him. He inched his head away and blinked, but she could see his gaze clearing.  “You’re up. And sitting on the coldest stairs in the entire mansion.”

He sighed, burying his face further into his hands. “I couldn’t sleep. Didn’t want to go outside either. Thought moving around the house, writing, would help.”

“Hm,” she gently nudged at the papers to make space, and sat beside him. “You know you can always wake me up if you want to talk about anything. I’m not exactly the deepest sleeper in Thedas either. A mabari bark or, I don’t know, a rogue breeze would wake me up sooner or later, so...”

He huffed out a chuckle. “Oh don’t I know about that. But still, I didn’t want to worry you,” he frowned again, “I thought I’d write a little. I’m still behind where I thought I’d be a week ago. I thought I’d be able to make progress but… nothing.” He glanced at her and saw that she was still listening, unimaginable warmth in her icy blue eyes. The corner of her mouth quirked in a gentle smile and she slipped her arm around his waist. He looked on at her in wonder, then turned his head. His hands were loose now.

“I thought I had something but… I couldn’t catch it. It’s not like last time I…”

“Lost track?” He hummed, straightening his back instinctively when he felt her hand trace soft circles on his back.

“You said it wasn’t like last time?”

He sighed. “Sometimes it feels like… an epiphany. The words come to me easier, I can untangle me and Justice’s thoughts and form them into something tangible, it feels like the links of chains or cogs in a contraption. Everything seems sharper, faster, compared to other days when I’m not even sure what or where I am anymore, it makes me feel alive but sometimes it… it feels like I can’t stop.” He looks at her. “That terrifies me.” He closed his eyes when her hand travelled up to his hair.

“Do you think Justice has anything to do with this?”

“I’ve been thinking about that myself, but no. While he might have… enhanced the effects, I’ve almost always been like this. Ever since I was in the Circle. Some days feel faster, some feel slower. I thought in time the lines would blur but…” he was looking at her now, tears in his eyes. “Now I can’t tell which one is real anymore. I’m just so tired.”

“That’s okay,” he didn’t even notice he’d moved until his face buried into the crook of her neck and he felt his tears stain the rich dark red fabric into a black.

“It’s okay. I’m here. I know exactly who you are. You’re the tall, mysterious healer from Ferelden with the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. You’re a fantastic lover, you’re ticklish around your neck and come up with possibly the worst darkspawn jokes possibly in all of Thedas. Your mother’s name is Catherine, the country you want to see the most is Antiva, your favourite colour is brown for some bizarre reason, you’re horrible at playing the lute but have a beautiful singing voice, you say you strongly dislike dogs, although you got attacked by one of your patient’s four vicious mabaris and I could hear your giggles all the way from Hightown. You’re Anders, the kind-hearted mage who broke his chains despite all odds, who fights for those who can’t do it on their own so they don’t have to.”

They sat together for a moment in each other’s arms, his slowing breathing against her clavicle. Then she heard him laugh softly. “What’s wrong with brown?”

“Want to take a walk with me around town? It’ll make you feel better.”

He nodded and she pulled away, her hands cupping his face and fingers easing his tears away. He shook his head.

“How… Why are you doing this?”

“Anders,” she looked into his eyes, her voice a whisper. “I adore you. You’re my best friend and my partner. I love you and I’ll always be with you. And I will repeat this until you absolutely, truly believe it, because it’s true.”

The ghost of a smirk played on his lips. “Let’s say I do believe you. What then?”

“Honestly, I don’t think I’d stop even then. Got me there,” she pulled him closer so their foreheads touched. “Do you?”

He closed his eyes. “No.”

She tilted his head up with her forehead, kissed his nose and then his lips. She felt him shudder and smile into the kiss. When she pulled away she saw that his eyes were still closed.

“I don’t suppose you’ll mind my efforts to try and conv-mphhf“ he pulled her onto his lap and swallowed her words with a kiss just like the one in his clinic which made them both forget where and who they were. Sometimes that’s all they needed. When they separated, Marian moved the wild blond hair away from his face and smoothed it out, all the while being smothered by kisses until she was squirming. There was that smile again.

“You’re incorrigible.” She managed as she laughed.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too. Also,” she gave him one more kiss on the lips and stood. “The weather looks so nice it’s suspicious. Might as well drop by the Keep to see Aveline while we’re at it.”

Anders’ laugh brought warmth to her cheeks. “Give me five minutes?”

Hawke nodded, kissed the top of his head and headed for the door. Before she closed the door she thought he could hear him yell behind her.

“Wait, what’s wrong with brown?!”

[grace-nakimura]

for the oc meme ; michelle hawke.

thanks again to @highevre letting me be all self indulgent and shit. 

letters between two of your OC’s comapnions about them.

Bethany,

I know I’m asking quite a bit, risking even more, writing to you. I might be protected by the Inquisition, but my protection only goes so far - I, once again, am not free. And yet, this isn’t about me; this is about Elizabeth and Michelle and Karl and now - now Hannah. 

Andraste’s given me another daughter. 

I don’t deserve it. You know that. Everyone knows that. I know you and Sebastian still have no heirs and - and I feel guilty that I should have what you rightly deserve. I do not say this to manipulate you, or make you feel bad, because this isn’t the point of this letter.

The point is: your sister misses you.

She misses Carver and Geralt, sure, but she misses you the most, especially when there are days when she misses your mother. She says, save the eyes, you favored her the most. 

Your husband hates me. I understand that. He hates Michelle for not killing me, Geralt for allowing her, and by part an Inquisition that protects me from his wrath. From yours. 

This isn’t about me. This isn’t about Sebastian.

Elizabeth turns eight and she is some Chantry propaganda figure head and - and I can only do so much, Michelle can only do so much, and Geralt has made it plain that his help ran out and Carver has Kirkwall to contend with. Don’t punish Michelle. Don’t punish our children. Hate me, but I know the Inquisition requires Starkhaven.

Elizabeth misses Sebastian and I know, no matter the differences between he and I, that he loved her as if they were kin. I ask him to remember that.

I ask you to remember that you love Michelle. 

I believe I don’t have to sign this.

-

Anders,

You’re exhausting. 

Never fear for the “offense,” during the time it took your letter to leave Ferelden to Starkhaven the healers have confirmed that I’m with child. Two hear beats, so I hear. I never thought that I, a country bumpkin from Ferelden, and a mage at that, would be a Princess, a wife, or a mother! Father would be proud. You should be proud. 

Given my condition, I’m unable to travel, but Sebastian is making his way as we speak. I will do better in contacting Michelle - give my love to the little ones! Know that I’m praying night and day for Lilibet. We both are. - and Sebastian has promised to be cordial. He’s also taken his troops away from Kirkwall. 

He isn’t a hateful man. He’s hurt. 

And yes, I believe mentioning Elizabeth is what convinced him. Please, Anders, I know you enjoy poking the bear but - don’t. Avoid him, if you must. 

It’s sad; if you took the time to know him, to reach out to him, the two of you would’ve had a world of common ground. His story, no matter how he sees it differently, is not dissimilar to ours. Much like if you and Fenris would’ve taken the time to befriend Merrill instead of making her some bloodthirsty malificar you would’ve known her spirit, her deposition, aligns that of Andraste even if her gods aren’t our own. That’s your burden to carry. I pray that my nieces and nephew do not follow in your path.

Signed,

Bethany Alice Vael, Princess Consort of Starkhaven.

transcript of an inverview with your OC.

Inquisitor Adaar: I’ve seldom interacted with Anders, but can you tell me about him?

Michelle: He claimed that Wardens were sterile when [gestures to swollen stomach] we both know that’s bullshit thrice over. Doesn’t know any tunes. Tone deaf - it sounds like a dying cow whenever he sings! He’s a good da, though; he wouldn’t stop crying when he delivered Karl and Lilibet, and probably will cry when this one comes out. Y’know he did what he did because our eldest is a mage? Well, of course you know she’s a mage, but no one else really did back then. 

Inquisitor Adaar: You mean - Kirkwall, the Chantry, everything was because he was afraid of Elizabeth’s magic?

Michelle: Not afraid of her, but afraid for her. Varric didn’t write that in his book. Didn’t tell the Seeker about it, either, but that’s just how he is. Mages aren’t allowed the basic right of having a family, and the Gallows? [whistles] No matter what Commander Curly paints it, they were monsters, and so is he. You’re a da, right?

Inquisitor Adaar: Two girls. 

Michelle: Would you feel warm and fuzzy if you knew that your babies would be snatched in a place where her personhood would be forfeit? That people who liked to pick on the small because it makes them feel big wouldn’t second guess hurting them? I know there were bad mages and good templars, bad templars and good mages, and life is grayer than all that - but when you know the abuse that goes on and everyone tells you to suck it up, would you be fine with having your own children go through that? No. If you’re a good da you wouldn’t. Ask Commander Dipshit about about Ser Alrik and see what he says.

Inquisitor Adaar: I’m sorry for offending your, Serah.

Michelle: Not offended. Just tired. My brothers will say one thing, my friends will say another, but no matter how tone deaf he is or how much he snores and farts during the night, he’s the love of my life. And I think he was absolutely right. 

[drdanwrites]

Magical Office - Season 2 Episode 3: Muggle Appreciation Part 1

I’m going to start breaking up some episodes into two parts. I wanted to catch everyone up to speed on all the characters before I go forward as a lot is going to be happening soon! 

Biggles: I'm not joking people, I can't stress to you how important it is for you to understand the difference between a nappy and a hat. Get these confused people… (he looks sternly around the conference room.) and you're in for a world of stink.

(The camera turns from Biggles at the front of the room to the audience of office members. Claire, has once again passed out and sunglasses have been placed over her eyes, but she is snoring loudly from her open mouth. Bridget is uninterestedly making figure eights in the air with her wand, it flashes as if a sparkler, leaving behind streaks in the air. Milton has a quill and parchment floating next to him and quickly flicks his wand at the two and immediately they go to work recording the information. Minister Parkinson sits in front with his head in his hand, looking at Biggles as if he was watching a faucet drip.)

INTERVIEW WITH PARKINSON

Parkinson: Today is Muggle Appreciation day. It’s the one day a year we allow Biggles to run a department meeting informing us about all the updates in the Muggle world. It tends to be horribly boring and inaccurate. (He pauses as if trying to come up with more information.) I'm still not sure why he's still here.

END OF INTERVIEW WITH PARKINSON

(The camera pans over to Newt who is sitting next to Tina. His arm is around the back of her chair. The camera zooms in on this physical display of intimacy. It begins to zoom in further behind them on you, completely ignoring Biggles lecture with all focus on Newt and Tina, a confused look on your face. You are attached to Rodger’s arm and as he notices your stare, gives you a playful squeeze to bring you back to him.)

INTERVIEW WITH NEWT

Newt: Yes, Tina and I have started seeing each other. She's accepted the position of Lead Auror in the Grindelwald investigation and is staying in London. (He looks down at his fidgeting fingers as looks back at the camera) I don’t know what to tell you, I can't just wait around forever. She dumped me and decided she wanted to be with someone else. Not that I understand, but that’s not my place to say. It’s like that muggle phrase Biggles is always saying, “If at first, you don't succeed, try, try again…” (he pauses after reciting this… as if figuring out how that fits into his situation) actually… actually, I don't think that's right… I think he got that wrong. Oh, Merlin…I'm turning into Biggles….(He brings a worried hand to his mouth and looks horrified at the camera.)

END OF INTERVIEW WITH NEWT

Parkinson: (raises his hand) You might want to translate the word “Nappy” for our American comrade here. (He points to Tina, who looks at him confused as she completely understood what Biggles meant.) (To Tina) You see the muggle term in America is “diaper". (To everyone) I'd hate for her to get confused, like my girlfriend, President Picquery. (The minister has a smug and proud smile on his face as the rest of the office begins to moan annoyingly.)

INTERVIEW WITH MINISTER PARKINSON

(Takes place in Parkinson’s office.)

Minister Parkinson: Okay. It’s true. President Picquery and I have entered into a passionate love affair. I know… I know… I said I was swearing off witches, but I just have an irresistible magical magnetism that witches and muggles alike cannot resist. (Pause) Oh no. The distance isn’t something we’re worried about. I mean, we are both madly in love with each other. Nothing could tear this apart.

(As he finishes his sentence, a red envelope falls on to his desk and an owl flutters and lands behind the Minister’s desk. His face lights up with excitement.)

Ah! This must be my international love with her response to my letters!

(He quickly seizes his letter opener and rips the envelope open. Instantly, the letter transforms into an angry woman's face.)

Piquery’s Voice: Dear Minster…

Minister Parkinson: That’s me. (he looks at the camera and points to himself.)

Piquery’s Voice: I admire your dedication to writing me 5 times a day, but…. I AM NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND! Please cease all communication unless absolutely necessary.  From the desk of President Picquery.

(The letter then ceases to speak and suddenly goes up in flames. The minister stares at the pile of ashes on his desk. His face is horrified and subtly embarrassed, but quickly remembers the camera and composes himself. He looks back up.)

Minister Parkinson: She’s such a jokester, we love to joke with each other. It’s the foundation of our relationship.

END OF INTERVIEW WITH MINISTER PARKINSON

(The scene goes back to the meeting where everyone is trying to deter the Minister from talking about President Picquery.)

Bridget: (She holds her hands around her mouth to cause an echoing effect.) Booo. Go Home.

Minister Parkinson: (He points to Bridget without looking at her.) That is not constructive. If I went home, the wizarding world as we know it would cease to exist.

Newt: (Looks confused) Sorry, Minister are you trying to say that if you didn’t come to work the entire wizarding community would just suddenly blow up?

Minister Parkinson: Newton, I’m not trying to say that. I AM saying that. Next question.  

(Newt looks at the camera, thinking about what the minister is trying to imply but ends up shaking his head and holding a hand up to the camera to advise them to move on.)

Y/N: I think what Bridget is trying to say is, we’re pretty sure that President Picquery and you are not dating, Minister.

Minister Parkinson: Well, if we’re not dating, then why did she send me a meeting request for later this week?

Tina: Minister, sir, I received one of those as well. It’s just to go over the most recent findings of the Grindelwald case.

Minister Parkinson: Sorry… you haven’t been working for us long have you?

Tina: No, sir.

Minister Parkinson: We could make it even shorter if you want… (His eyes stare at her threateningly.)

Tina: I-I mean maybe you two could go out for dinner after the meeting.

Newt: (To Tina) Oh Tina, don’t encourage him… it will only drive him further into dilution. (She turns her head slightly to smile at him for his comment.)

Biggles: Can we get back to the meeting people? I’d still like to get into the proper etiquette for farting in a room full of muggles.

Rodger: (sarcastically to Reader) Oh yes… now that sounds like an interesting topic. (You giggle at his joke, Newt hears this and instantly jumps at the chance to dig into Rodger.) 

Newt: Don’t worry Rodger, you do a good enough job clearing a room all by yourself.

(A low chorus of ‘Ohhhs’ echo in response to Newt’s comment and you instantly reach for Rodger to keep him seated as he looks over at Newt, who is raging inside.)

Rodger: What was the Salamander?

(The minister quickly interjects before Newt has time to turn around and repeat himself.)

Minister: Alright boys, let's calm our farts. (To Biggles) Continue.

(At the minister’s comment both are too shocked to disagree with him and both go back to ignoring each other. Tina leans into Newt, and whispers in his ear.)

Tina: What was that all about?

Newt: It’s nothing. (He says as he runs his hand over her shoulder and rests it there. He turns his head slightly to the side to see you get annoyed with Rodger for almost starting a fight. He smugly smiles at himself and the camera falls on Tina's concerned stare at Newt.)

INTERVIEW WITH TINA

Tina: (Looks around uncomfortably) So, you just want me to talk about the meeting? I mean, I don’t know. It’s certainly something we don’t do in the United States. The No-Maj department certainly doesn’t hold meetings about toilet humor. (pause) Newt? Yes, well it’s been great getting to spend more time with him. I’m looking forward to getting now know him better… (she nervously fidgets in her chair.) a lot better.

END OF INTERVIEW WITH TINA

Biggles: Listen up people… in the muggle world, there is no waving a wand for a quick fix. When you’re thirsty, you have to use a series of crude pipes to channel your water into a cup. Muggles… they’re the real heroes.

Milton: (blows air through his lips, in an unbelieving manner.)

INTERVIEW WITH MILTON

Milton: This meeting a joke. An erroneous meeting on all accounts. You know, I could be using this time in researching the whereabouts of Grindelwald at this exact moment. If I could be working, I’d be THIS much closer to finding that schlep of a wizard (he holds his hand up, using his pointer finger and thumb and putting them very close together, measuring a tiny amount. He squints his eyes to further show how tiny the impact would be. A moment later he puts his hand down and focuses back on the camera.) My career couldn't be going better. I've even taken it upon myself to… take on another classified case… one that’s happening right under our nose…and I’m the only competent wizard to solve it.  (The screen goes back to the meeting room and the camera shows Milton staring at Rodger and Reader who seem to be having a silent disagreement.) When I am not working, which, let's face it is rare, I am still courting my girlfriend, Angelica from the Auror office. We’re not able to spend a lot of time together, however we make sure to find time for each other. (Cutscene shows Angelica and Milton making out with each other on top of his desk, while Newt and Reader sit at their own desks and quickly rush out of the room in disgust. Cutscene ends.) (Milton smugly looks at the camera) Didn’t think I could be this successful and be a good lover? Well, think again. (He winks at the camera.)

END OF INTERVIEW WITH MILTON

Milton: Let's be honest people… the only reason we have “Muggle Appreciation day" (he makes air quotations) is because Biggles is older than dirt and we, for whatever reason, need to make him feel valued.

Biggles: (Looks offended) I'm not that old.

Milton: Biggles, some of Salamander’s creatures are younger than you.

Newt: (mumbles) Can't argue that. Not my name though…

Milton: (To Minister Parkinson) Minister, I feel that my time, which is MUCH more valuable than anyone here, would be better spent working on the Grindelwald case. As if I’m going to need to know the proper use of a soup ladle.

Biggles: … to scoop dirt…. Duh….

Minister Parkinson: That’s a good point, I think it might be time to call it a break (he calls to the rest of the room.) Wizards… let’s roll out.

(Everyone starts to pack up their things and head out the door. Claire is still sitting in her chair, mouth wide open and supposedly still sleeping.)

Y/N: Should someone get her?

Rodger: Just leave her, I’m not levitating her again. It takes too much effort to keep her afloat.

(Newt rolls his eyes at the camera as he walks out ahead of you with Tina.)

(The camera captures it’s attention on you. As you look up, you run a nervous hand through your slightly untidy hair. You’re physical appearance looks run down. Rodger gives you a quick kiss on the cheek without you noticing and hands you a cup. As the cup is put into your hands, you look down at it. You look back up at the camera as Rodger walks away.)

INTERVIEW WITH Y/N

Y/N: I’m just under the weather. I feel drained all the time. Some days I feel like I’m walking around in a fog. (You look around in the interview room and look back at the camera.) I’ve decided to stop taking that energy potion Rodger’s been giving me. He says they are good for me, but the less I have of it, the more I feel alive.

(Milton and you all walk into your shared office and take your respective seats. As you start to pick through the floating notices around your desk, you look over at the door to see Tina and Newt walk in. They converse and Newt looks over at you quickly. When he locks gazes with you, he instantly turns back to Tina. They said good-bye to each other and he gives her a sweet kiss on the forehead as she turns to go. You quickly turn away and go back to reading the memo in your hand.)

Y/N: It’s nice to see Newt with Tina. I have to say he’s been a little easier to work with. Except for the fact he still hates me and seems to make it his mission in life to get me fired. Tina seems like a very nice person, you know, If you’re into someone who has the personality of a cauldron.

END OF INTERVIEW WITH Y/N

Milton: (He looks up as Newt sits down at his own desk.) Can’t you keep intimacy out of the office? God, you treat this place like it was Knockturn Alley.

Newt: Why? Jealous, Milton?

Milton: (Defensively) No! For your information, I could get someone so much better looking than you.

Newt: Aww and there you go hurting my feelings again. Here I am thinking we had something special.

(You giggle at his joke and both Milton and Newt look up at you. You look back, scared you intruded on something you shouldn’t have.)

Newt: Y/N, please make sure you get those reports over to the aurors before we go back to the meeting.

(You sluggishly get up to collect the reports from Newt’s desk.)

Y/N: I’ll walk them there now.

Milton: (Starts laughing hysterically) Who are you? A ridiculous muggle? What an efficient employee you are by taking time to walk documents all the way across the ministry when you could just instantly send it there. Walking it there… honestly. Hey, Y/N, Be sure to walk us back a postcard from your travels. (He continues to laugh at his joke.)

(Newt looks back you as you take the notices, he can tell that Milton’s comments have affected you slightly. You both look at each other and you roll your eyes in Milton's direction. Newt turns back to him without another glance at you.)

Newt: Where did all this anti-muggle thinking come from, Milton? You’re starting to sound like a certain criminal wizard.

Milton: (Angrily perks up at the accusation.) I’m merely saying, why do things like Muggles when you have magic to do it the right way.

Newt: I think you feel that way because you know you couldn’t go a day without magic.

Milton: (offended) False. I could.

Newt: Then you should.

(You stand with the reports in your hand watching this play out between the two. You can’t help but feel that Newt is defending you from Milton and something in you takes a liking to it.)

Milton: Should what?

Newt: I bet you a million galleons, you couldn’t last a week without magic.

Milton: Then you are a bigger fool than I thought. I accept your challenge and I will come out victorious. You better ask Minster Parkinson for a raise because you’re going to need it.

(Newt holds out his hand confidently to Milton to sign his fate. Milton quickly takes it in order to make sure that he will not go back on his word. Newt smiles to himself and looks back up at you. You look down at him smiling at him until you realize he is not returning it. You stop.)

Newt: Y/N, the reports.

(You quickly go back to what you were doing and walk out of the office with the reports.) 

(The office is quiet. Everyone has gone home for the day. Newt stands at Milton’s desk, enchanting various necessary objects, and important memos to stick to the ceiling. You sit at your desk and run an exhausted hand through your hair. For a moment you look at Newt and watch him get childishly excited about his prank. In a split second you lose yourself to a daydream for the two of you laughing again. The image of his smile in your mind causes you to smiles boldly at him.)

(Newt catches that bright smile that he always loved on your face and for a second forgets all about his bitterness and smiles back.)

Newt: What’s causing that? (He points hesitantly to your smile.)

Y/N: (You are quickly brought back from the daydream and begin to get flustered.) Huh? Oh, nothing, just love how you’re so dedicated to proving him wrong.

Newt: (He looks down and tries his hardest not to smile.) Yeah, well. Beats writing another report about Grindelwald. (He continues his task and notices your normal teacup is filled to the brim.) You keeping that around for some reason? (He gestures towards your tea cup.)

Y/N: Oh yeah, no, I’m kind of over tea right now.

Newt: You’re over tea? Going to give it up, just like that?

Y/N: Yeah, I guess it’s not really for me anymore.

(The two of you look at each other as the metaphor of the conversation hangs in the air. The two of you lock eyes and the fog seems to be lifting from your mind. You can clearly remember the lasting sensation of his lips on yours.)

(Before either of you can say anything else a knock on the door interrupts your memories and Roger's voice can be heard.)

Rodger’s voice: Y/N, are you ready to go?

Y/N: Coming!

(You begin to collect your things. The reality of the situation returns to Newt and turns cold again. Before walking away from your desk, you turn back to Newt.)

Y/N: You know you should enchant his quills to write the opposite of everything.

Newt: Maybe… maybe you should just concentrate on your job and leave the prank to me.

(In an instant the mutual feeling between the two of you vanishes. Newt can see this change in you and against his better judgment calls to you again, causing you to turn back from the door.)

Newt: Y/N, get some rest. You look exhausted.

(You perk up and smile, Newt hated that his heart betrayed him by skipping a beat.)

Y/N: I know. I will. Thank you for looking out for me.

Newt: Sure, I mean, I wasn’t...well I merely need you to be in good working condition for tomorrow. I can’t have an assistant who can’t function.

Y/N: (Once against his words cut you down.) Thank you all the same. See you tomorrow.

(You turn back to the door and Newt turns to silently give himself a verbal beating. As you open the door you greet Rodger with a kiss on the cheek. He seems to be taken by surprise at this and quickly questions the change in affection.)

Rodger: Everything alright honey? Salamander giving you a hard time again?

Y/N: (Agitated) No, Rodger, it’s fine. Let’s just go, please.

Rodger: (He takes you by the arm and holds you still.) Is everything alright? Are you feeling okay? Did you take your energy potion tonight?

Y/N: (You forcefully brush his arm off of you and head to the office exit sign.Your response is annoyed and drained.) You know, I just didn’t feel like I need it tonight. I’d rather just get a good night’s sleep… ALONE.

(As you walk out the door without him, Rodger stands in the silent office corridor. His eyebrow furrows as he looks back at the tattered and damaged door of Newt’s shared office. Running a hand through his hair, he lets out a long annoyed sigh. Suddenly the door to the conference room opens and Claire walks out. She rubs her eyes and is caught off guard by an over exaggerated yawn. Rodger looks over at her unphased.)

Claire: Morning Rodger! Meeting over already?

Rodger: It’s 10pm, Claire.

Claire: Oh good! Quittin time it is.

(Claire pulls out of her pocket a detailed flask and takes a swift and linger shot from it. Rodger watches as she two slaughters out the doors and into the night, leaving him once again… all alone.)

[seiya234]

Four Times “5:30 In The Morning” Bit Nick In The Ass (and One Time It Was Worth It)

aka my BIG fic for yuletide! enjoy smol fandom!

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1: 5:31am

Unlike Maree, Nick had never spent a night at his Aunt Irene’s house, full of more children than beds to hold them.

Unlike Maree, when his friends spent the night, they would usually fall asleep in their chairs or on the floor, or, one memorable time, up a tree.

Unlike Maree, who before there was Robbie there was Jeremy and Edward, Nick had never had a girlfriend before.

Thus, there were some aspects to sharing a bed that Nick had never considered.

Like the fact that his girlfriend, who Maree once called “a Dainty Miss Whose Farts Smell Like Flowers” snored like a cross between a freight train and a death metal concert.

Like the fact that Roddy not only stole the covers and left him waking up in the night shivering, but she also would stick her cold, clammy feet on his legs to steal what remaining heat was left to him.

And most of all, like the fact that her limbs would go flying in the night, so that not only was he usually relegated to the furthest edge of the bed, but one memorable time he actually woke up in time to get an elbow to the nose.

2. 5:33am

Nick was awoken by a sharp tugging pain on his ear. That particular pinch and twist, delivered with a bite of nail, that went straight to his hind brain even if would take another three hours for the rest of him to wake up, could only be from one person…

“Mrefreee.”

“Get up Nick.”

This was grossly unfair. Maree knew that it was going to be at least two pots of coffee, one and a half if he really pushed it, before he was even intelligible.

“Mfghght.”

A particularly sharp twist wasn’t enough to get him up but it definitely made him flip over from his stomach to his back.

“Mff.”

“Nichothodes Euthandor Timosus Benigedy Koryfoides-“

Oh god what had he done-

“Your girlfriend? You know, the one who lives literally on another world? A world separate from ours?“

Oh yes. Roddy. Good old Roddy. They had said their goodbyes last night. Silly Maree.

“Ffmgwethdk.”

A piercing pain went through him and travelled down his spine, which must mean that Maree was really using her nails.

“MREE!”

“Your girlfriend, who loves you, and you only get to see a few times a year, is getting ready to leave. She is currently on the couch waiting for her ride and she is looking sad and I think Little Miss is doing her best not to cry.”

Sudden cold, as his horrible, awful, terrible no good sister ripped the covers away from the bed and tossed them on the ground.

“Nnnnghaet.”

Nick managed to work his way through the centimeter of eye crud that had collected in the night to blearily peer at his sister… or more accurately, the very sharp nail that was less than a breath away from his face.

“I have a coffee pot going, but you are going to get up, and get your ass downstairs, and sit with Roddy until she leaves. You are going to hold her hand, and I don’t know, give her a hug or something, but you are going to be in her presence and with her and acting like her partner.”

Nick considered staying in bed.

Nick was kind of dumb when he woke up, but he wasn’t suicidal.

Maree sighed as Nick managed to sit up. “Here, I’ll help you downstairs at least.”

3: 5:35

A sharp cry; not quite a scream but a little too close to comfort, woke Nick up.

The first few times it happened, Nick wasn’t sure what was happening, or how to fix it. To be honest, he still wasn’t sure if what he was doing was helping all that much.

Next to him, Roddy was curled up into as tight of a ball as she could, clutching her hip as it radiated pain that Nick could practically see coming off of her in waves.

Roddy had of course explained to him about the hurt lady; about how she had obtained the woman’s knowledge.

About why her hip would still to this day, without warning, break into screaming, blinding pain that would last a second or an hour or, one time, a week.

“No knowledge comes free I suppose,” Roddy had told him once, her teeth grit, face pale and covered in sweat.

Nick was of course, very selfish, and he personally thought the whole thing was bullshit. The first time, he didn’t quite understand but he got it. Magic… magic was magic. And magic came with a price.

But a price repaid over and over again was just fucking vindictive and useless and mean.

Gently, trying his best not to jostle his girlfriend, Nick took Roddy into his arms and held her as tight as he could.

4. 5:37

A jab in his kidneys.

“Mmmf?”

Another jab in his kidneys and…

Wait.

Why was a large portion of the sheets wet?

Why was Roddy turning on the lights and swearing?

Why was there a weird wet spot on part of his pajama pant-

Oh.

Oh god.

Oh god now.

Nick could literally feel part of his brain shutting down as Roddy swore, quickly and under her breath.

“Well damn. There goes these sheets.”

“Nnngh.”

“Nick, can you go get the hot water bottle? It should be under the sink in the bathroom?”

There was no way he could do that, could do anything connected to this-

His wonderful, darling girlfriend leaned in close to his face.

“It’s fetch me my bottle,” Roddy said sweetly, “or change these sheets.”

Truly, this was the nightmare scenario.

5. 5:39

Nick hadn’t slept a wink all night.

But to be fair, his wife hadn’t either. And while Nick was still after all these years quite proudly selfish, in this case he would admit that Roddy had had the harder job of the two of them.

Though he had tried to point out that three hours of labor was really pretty good, according to what the doctors had told them, and Roddy had chucked a buzzer at him in response.

There was a little red bundle, freshly cleaned up and wailing fit to bring the house down, placed into Roddy’s arms.

“She has your nose,” Roddy said.

Nick looked.

Diana Marina Mallory had a surprisingly large thatch of black hair on her head, all ten fingers and toes… and a face that was more squished than that of a pug.

“Are you sure she doesn’t have yours?” he asked. (Later, Roddy would tell him that he actually touched the bridge of his nose, “like you forgot that aquiline beak on your face”)

Any other time, Roddy would have given him a swat on the arm. But here and now, she just laughed and took his hand to guide it to their daughter’s head.

5:30 in the morning was miserable.

5:30 in the morning was going to continue to be miserable.

But, Nick was starting to think the rest of the morning would be worth it

[hunterfairytales]

Cronerella

Once upon a time there was a queen, who had been young once, but was now moving into her middle years. She lived with the king in a magnificent palace built high on a hill, with turrets inlaid with gold and diamonds, that sparkled in sunshine and twinkled in starlight.

It was said that long ago when the king was just a prince, and the queen was just a girl, she’d arrived at the Annual Royal Ball unannounced and unknown, and had danced all night long in the most exquisite crystal glass shoes.  The prince went mad with desire for this mystery girl, who disappeared on the stroke of midnight, discarding one of her glass slippers on the palace steps.  He searched the land high and low until at last he found the foot that fitted the slipper.  At once he proposed to her even though she wasn’t of noble birth and they married the very next day.

From that time onwards every month, on the night of the full moon, the palace held a royal ball.  It was called The Queen’s Ball  and was the highlight of courtly life.    It was said that no sooner had the last guest wound their tipsy way home, then preparations for the next ball would be under way.  

On the night of the ball the queen would appear, as she had all those many years ago, dressed in the most splendid attire, wearing a new pair of dainty glass slippers, specially made from the purest quartz pebbles handpicked from the River Allure, which wound it’s way through the very centre of the country from East to West.  She would twirl and whirl around the royal dance floor all night long.

The very next morning she would begin her preparations in earnest.  And what preparations!  She was plucked and pinched, pruned and pummelled, tweaked and tucked, tanned and teased.  Hair would be pulled out and hair would be stuck on, skin would be folded and cut like silk.  She was stitched and hemmed and straightened and stretched.  The nearer the ball came, the busier the preparations. She’d practice her pirouetting for days and days on end,  twirling and whirling on the tips of her toes until she was sick with dizziness.  Bunions were shaved, blisters burst, and corns and calluses cut off.  Her feet were bound and shaped ready to fit the new glass shoes made specially for her by Venetian glass blowers.

On the day of the ball she was heaved and hoisted into her attire.   And once all had been done that could be done, she drank three potions mixed specially for her by the court magicians.  The first to stop her breathing for the night so as not to burst out from her whalebone corset.  The second to keep her mouth set into a smile, and the last a painkiller to kill the ache in her feet so that she might pirouette the whole night long.  

And just sometimes during all these preparations as she gazed back at her reflection in the mirror, she’d wonder to herself ‘Is this really what I wished for……?’.

And just sometimes as she lay in the emperor size four poster bed, draped with silk satin mix curtains, listening to the the king snoring as loud as an old bull and farting like a trumpet in the royal orchestra, she’d wonder to herself ‘Is this really really what I wished for…..?’

And just sometimes as she swallowed the last mouthful of painkilling potion she’d wonder to herself ‘Is this really, really, really what I wished for….?  

The queen would keep these thoughts to herself, firstly because she had no one to confide in, and secondly because it really was not fashionable to think in this way.

After all, she had what every women wished for…..she had certainly wished for it all those moons ago, which was why she was there really.  

But very occasionally, in the early morning, when the sun had not yet risen and the moon not yet set, in that time of shadows.  The queen would climb out of the four poster bed, and creep down to the palace kitchens.  Only the lowly were up and about then.  The fire girl tending to the hearth, sweeping up the ash and laying down the kindling.  The washing up girl drying up all the pans from the night before, putting them back into cupboards and hanging them on hooks.  The queen would close her eyes as she hid behind the kitchen door and listen to the clanging and clanking, and the sound of the brush sweeping along the floor. She’d breath in the smell of ash that drifted in clouds towards her.  And she’d remember the time growing up with her cruel step family when she’d worked so tirelessly down in the kitchen.   It had been a harsh life but strangely she missed it now.   She particularly missed her friends the mice, birds and other small creatures who’d kept her company when she’d felt so lost and alone.

Sighing, she’d then creep back to the royal quarters and continue her preparations.

One day she woke up and wondered about her fairy godmother!  Where had she gone?  What was she doing?  Was she still around?  This thought, instead of slipping away, stayed with her until she found herself wondering and wondering unable to get the thought out of her head.  So much so, that on the eve of the ball, as she sat waiting for her potions to arrive, she cried out…..  

‘Where are you dear fairy godmother, I cannot stop thinking of you and I wish to know where you are…answer me, please, I beg you……!’

And suddenly, with a flash and a pop! There she was! Right in front of her!

‘Oh my goodness, fairy Godmother?   Is it really you?  Are you actually here!  I can hardly believe my eyes!’

‘Yes, I’m here alright!  Well, you called didn’t you?’ The fairy godmother harrumphed before continuing….

‘Well?  What d’you want?  One wish, that’s the deal….you know the form and I don’t have all day!  This wretched wishing, it takes more time than everyone thinks!’  She looked decidedly fed-up.

‘I….I… I’m so very sorry dear sweet Fairy godmother!’ Stammered the queen.  ‘I didn’t quite appreciate that you would sort of appear if I called, and its just that I…I’ve been thinking…..um…about…’

‘Well? Spit it out!’ The fairy godmother swished her magic wand about like a horse whip.

‘So? What is it you want? Chop! Chop!’

The queen was flummoxed.  What a question? What did she actually want?  She wasn’t quite sure, but she certainly knew what she didn’t want…..

‘I don’t want to go to the ball!’.  Her hand flew up to her mouth in horror, she gulped.  Did she really say that?

‘Oh for goodness sake! Not you too!’ Snarled the fairy godmother.

‘What do you mean ‘me too?’  Replied the queen rather confused, she thought she’d been all alone in her thinking.

‘They’re all up to it!  The whole princess world’s gone mad if you ask me!  Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and now you!’  

‘Just one night off, that’s all I ask’.  The queen pleaded ‘Just one teeny-weeny night off……please!’

The fairy godmother swished her wand,  a flash and a pop and they were down by the royal stables.  A footman, the royal carriage and six white horses stood waiting.  Another swish of the wand and the footman turned into a rat with exceptionally fine whiskers, another swish and the six horses turned into little white mice with pink noses, another swish and the carriage turned into a plump pumpkin.  

The fairy godmother turned to the queen, and looked her up and down, letting out an irritable sigh.  A swish of the wand and the queen stood, not in her corset and silk embroidered gown with lace train and diamond beading, with a crown on her head.  But dressed in elasticated trousers made from the softest wool, a bobble hat to keep her head warm, and a cashmere wool mix cardigan to keep out the harshest of winds.

The queen stretched out her elasticated trousers in wonder, and laughed delightedly as they pinged back to her non-corseted stomach.

The fairy godmother rolled her eyes.

‘But what about my shoes?’ Asked the queen.

The fairy godmother looked down at the queens feet bound and bandaged and squeezed into the glass slippers.

Grunting she swished her wand, a flash and a pop!

The queen sighed with joy, she wriggled her toes…on her feet were the most comfortable moccasins she’d ever worn.  They were lined with lambs wool, with a floppy soft leather sole.

“Follow the mice for they shall lead you to where you want to go.  But on the count of midnight you must return, do you understand?” Instructed the fairy godmother.

The queen nodded.

‘Of course dear fairy godmother.  But just one more thing, won’t I be terribly missed at the ball?’

The fairy godmother raised one eyebrow.

‘Missed?  MISSED?’  She let out a harsh laugh. ‘Believe me….you will not be missed!’.  And with a swish of her wand, and a flash and pop she was gone!

So the queen hoisted the plump pumpkin under her arm, and followed the white mice and the fine-whiskered rat out of the palace, and through the city.  There was so much busyness that no one noticed the middle aged women in elasticated trousers and moccasins walking down the winding cobbled streets.  They  passed through the city gates, and over the bridge that crossed the River Allure. After awhile of turning this way and that they reached a little cottage on the edge of a wild wood.

The mice and rat scuttled through the white picket gate, up the bluebell-lined cobbled path, to the front door.

It was the dearest little cottage the queen had ever set eyes on.  She turned the key in the lock and stepped in.  To the left was a small book-lined sitting room with an open fire, comfy armchair and grandfather clock.  To the right a kitchen with a larder full of cheeses, homemade chutneys and fruit wines.  Up the rickety, rackety stairs was one small bedroom with a gable window over-looking the garden.  Crisp, white linen, and a candlewick counterpane adorned the simple wooden sleigh bed.   There was a small bedside table with an earthenware vase filled with woodland anemones and buttercups.

The queen wasted no time, for she only had the one wish.  She made pumpkin pie and whilst it was cooking, she took the pumpkin seeds and other scraps out into the garden and scattered them to the wind.  She then sat down on an old moss-covered bench under an ancient oak tree and waited.  She waited and she waited until the sun slipped down below the trees, and the full moon began to rise.  At long last she heard a tweet, followed by another, then a cooing and a screeching, a cawing and a trilling. Out of the wild woods they came, the wrens and the woodpeckers, the pheasants and the blackbirds, the goldfinches and the robins, the owls and the chiffchaffs, even a goose waddled out! The queen clapped her hands in delight ‘My dear wild friends, I have missed you so much!’ And as they pecked away at the seeds and the scraps they chatted to her about all that gone on in the wild woods whilst she’d been away.  The queen felt so happy to be reunited with all her old friends, but time was passing, dusk was moving into nightfall and the birds needed to return home to their nests and perches.  Finally the blackbird, who was always the last to leave at any gathering, said his farewells.  She waved after him as he flew towards the wild wood and waited until his sweet evening song had faded before going back indoors.

She ate her pumpkin pie in front of the fire.  The mice curled up on her lap and the fine whiskered rat rested by her feet.  After she’d eaten she closed her eyes, sighing contentedly.  She felt warm and happy,  her belly satisfyingly full with pumpkin pie and wild stories,  wriggling her toes she smiled.

‘I am in heaven!’

But then the clock struck eleven.  Her heart lurched.  Where had the time gone?

‘If only I could stay just a little bit longer…..’ She whispered longingly.

But spells were spells, and wishes were wishes.   Soon the grandfather clock struck the half hour.  The mice began to fidget, and the fine-whiskered rat twitched.   Time was racing on.  At last the queen rallied herself, with tears in her eyes and a howl in her heart, she quickly cleared up the house leaving it as she’d found it,  before shutting the front door and turning the key in the lock.  She walked down the wild bluebell lined cobbled path. At the picket gate she looked back one last time, it really was the dearest little cottage she’d ever seen, her heart cracked.  But she had no choice. She had to return back to the palace.  

Off she set but sadness slowed her down.  Seconds turned into minutes, and the minutes raced by.  Time was running out.  She started to run as fast as she could, faster and faster she ran, but just as she came out of a small copse she tripped and her moccasin slipped off her foot.  She had no time to pick it up but had to keep going if she was to make it back in time.

The clock began to strike midnight, she charged over the bridge, through the city gates to the palace, running up the turret steps and falling into her bedchamber just as the last strike struck midnight.

She couldn’t breathe probably, gasping and heaving she tried to catch her breath, but her corset pinched her ribs, her crown hurt her head and her one glass slipper crushed her toes.  Tears coursed down her cheeks, and her heart felt like it had broken into a million pieces.  She looked down, all her comfortable warm clothes had disappeared! Her one wish had ended on the last stroke of midnight.  She struggled out of her ball gown and falling on her bed she sobbed and sobbed until dawn broke.

The fairy godmother had been right.  She hadn’t been missed.  A mysterious young women had appeared at the ball, looking so beautiful that the guests, as well as the king, were utterly enchanted.  The court talk was of nothing else the following morning!  Who was she?  Where had she come from?   And those divine shoes!  But the queen listened to none of it, her head was too full of the dear little cottage and her wild friends.

The following day preparations for the ball began in earnest.  The queen was plucked and pinched, pruned and pummelled, tweaked and tucked, tanned and teased.  The nearer the ball came, the busier the preparations.    But try as she might, she couldn’t stop thinking of her dear little cottage and all her wild friends. She dreamt of the wild woods each night, waking with a terrible ache in her heart.  She blinked back tears whenever she thought about it.  Loss filled her every waking hour. Even as she practiced her pirouetting tears poured down her face.  So much so that the magicians, who noticed this kind of thing, decided to make the potions extra strong this time.

On the eve of the ball the queen stood alone gazing desolately out of the window of her turret, waiting for her potions to arrive.  Her feet hurt terribly but her heart hurt so much more.  As she stood looking out towards the horizon, she spotted something unusual gliding out of the wild woods towards the city walls.   It was a curious cloud full of movement and colour.  Nearer and nearer it floated,  The queen put on her spectacles to get a clearer look.  By this time it was crossing over the River Allure, and then lifted itself over the city walls.  It was then that she heard the most extraordinary noise, it was a cooing and a tweeting, a screeching and a cawing.  It wasn’t a cloud but a flock of wild birds! They flew high over the turrets encrusted with gold and diamonds, before drifting down to the open casement window where the queen stood.  In their beaks they carried what looked like an extremely comfortable, lambs wool lined, soft leather soled moccasin.  She cried out, and stretched out her arms towards them. They flew in through her open window, and dropped the slipper right down in front of her.

‘My dear, dear wild friends, I’ve missed you so much!’  She cried.

She knew then exactly what she needed to do.  

She kicked off one glass slipper which flew of her foot hitting and shattering her mirror  into a million pieces. She then kicked off the other, which flew out of the window.  Quickly she slipped her foot into the moccasin the birds had brought her.  A flash and a pop! And there she stood in her elasticated trousers, bobble hat and cashmere wool mix cardigan, with six little white mice and a fine-whiskered rat running around her feet and a plump pumpkin to her side.  Hoisting it up under her arm she gave a whoop of joy!

‘Follow me!’ She roared.

She charged off running as quickly as her moccasin clad feet could manage, followed closely behind by a flock of wild birds, six little white mice and a fine-whiskered rat.  Down the turret stairs they flew, across the courtyard, through the ballroom where all the guests were squabbling over a glass slipper which had just been found, out the other side, down the steps along the winding cobbled city streets, over the bridge that crossed the River Allure, turning this way and that until at last they reached the dear little cottage.   The queen turned the front door key and popped it in her pocket.  Once inside she made the most delicious pumpkin soup.  Whilst it was cooking she sat out in the garden by the edge of the wild wood with her friends the birds, mice and other small creatures, watching the sun set and the full moon rise, and they all lived happily ever after.

                        THE END.

By Sian Tennant

For anyone who dares to wish for something different……..!

[travisandersondatingblog]

27 Real Signs of True Love in a Relationship

After being single for a while, or after being in a relationship that hurt you badly, you’ve opened yourself up to love again. You think you might be in love with your boyfriend, but you’re looking for signs of true love before you say those three magical words.

If you’ve been hurt before (and I’m going to bet you have), it may be hard for you to make yourself vulnerable enough to let this man know you have serious feelings for him. It’s worth exploring those feelings a bit first to ensure what you’re feeling is really and truly love.

The Difference Between Love, Lust, and Infatuation

Is it love or infatuation? Sometimes it’s hard to tell.

You may think that your days of being infatuated with a male were long gone after junior high, but intelligent women of every age go through being infatuated. It’s part of the journey to love, but it’s easy to mistake infatuation for love.

When you’re infatuated, you have an overwhelming attachment to a guy. You can’t get enough of him. The problem is, as researchers discovered, infatuation causes a lot of negative emotions like anxiety, insecurity, and nervousness. You haven’t yet been with this man long enough to be certain of his feelings, and so every little thing can send you in a tizzy of worry.

He hasn’t texted you back in 49 minutes! He must be out with another woman!

He made a weird face during sex. Did he not enjoy himself??

Infatuation is often more based on the idea or fantasy of a person than the reality. You may build him up to be something better than he is simply because that’s what you want. Infatuation is a temporary state, so if this feeling starts to fade, you know that it’s not love.

Lust, on the other hand, is more based on physical attraction. You can feel lust for someone that you have no emotional or intellectual connection with (that’s pretty much the definition of the hookup).  If you’re always eager to jump in bed with this guy, but really don’t get that much out of spending time with him otherwise, you’re likely in lust, not love.

But love sweet love is total and consuming…and it lasts. It may take longer to blossom as you open yourself up to a man and get to know him in return. But with love, you can be yourself, and you recognize that neither of you is perfect.

So which are you feeling? It may be hard to know (though lust is a pretty easy feeling to identify). Take your time to process your feelings. As you get to know him better, you may feel differently toward him. And over time, you’ll likely see some of the signs of true love I discuss up next.

What are the Signs of True Love in a Relationship?

How many of these signs of true love ring true for you?

Even if you’ve been in long relationships in the past, you may not be certain you ever really experienced true love. You may have been in your early 20s when you met the man you ended up marrying…but at that age, could you really have understood love? Love changes over time, and what it looked like for you as a young adult is likely quite different from what it looks like today.

If you’re experiencing several of these signs of true love, you can feel good, knowing that, at long last, you finally found it!

1. He Makes You Want to Be a Better Person

Oprah talks about being your best self, and while much of that work has to come from within, being with the right person can make you want to be even better. One of the signs of true love is recognizing that neither of you has to be perfect, but you can inspire one another to be better.

Think of the couples who exercise together or eat healthier. Now think of couples where one person exercises or diets while the other keeps on with the same bad habits. Which relationship do you think is more love-based? Right. The one where the couples are partners in better living.

Maybe your guy has made you more aware of the need to recycle. Or bike to work. Or simply be nicer. Whatever that thing is, you feel better by starting new healthy habits.

2. You Want to Be There for Him in Good Times and Bad

When you date a guy that you just like, you might be uncomfortable when sh#^ hits the fan. Maybe his dog dies or he’s worried about being laid off. What’s your role if the relationship isn’t serious?

On the other hand, when you’re in love with someone, you are happy to be there for him when things get tough. You’re willing and able to be strong for him, to let him lean on you as he deals with stressful or traumatic situations. You know he’d do the same for you.

3. You’re Confident in Your Relationship

Like I said: when you’re infatuated, you can be insecure and nervous in a relationship. Every little thing feels like it’s rocking the boat, and you worry you’ll be tossed overboard (break up). But one of the signs of true love is having confidence in your relationship. You know that every argument won’t be the end of your relationship. You don’t worry that he’s out flirting with other women. You know your relationship is strong enough to weather a few bumps, and you’re willing to put in the work to make it better.

You don’t sweat the small stuff, and you know that you are enough for this man.

4. You Can Be Yourself Completely Around Him

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It’s completely normal to want to shine the best light on yourself possible when you first start dating, but as the relationship progresses — and as your feelings get stronger — you should be able to relax a little and be more genuine. That means you’re okay with him seeing you without makeup or in your ancient fuzzy pjs. One of the signs of true love is simply knowing that, no matter what you say or do, you won’t run him off, nor are you afraid of what he’ll think.

Maybe you snort when you laugh. Let it out.

Maybe you fart in your sleep. Again, let it out!

Maybe you talk really fast and ramble. He can handle it.

Realize that, as he’s falling for you, he’s doing the same thing. He might be paranoid about his big stomach, so he’s been sucking it in. Or maybe he snores. But as he relaxes around you, he sees that he doesn’t have to worry about you judging him for these things. Because when you’re in love, none of those little things matter.

5. You Allow Yourself to Be Vulnerable

When you’re truly in love, you are willing to expose your heart to potential pain. Love is trusting that this person will not break your heart.

If you find yourself still closed off after a traumatic relationship, you might not quite be exhibiting one of these signs of true love, but give it time. It can take a significant amount of time — even years sometimes — to get over serious heartbreak and be open to falling madly in love again.

So what does vulnerability look like? When you say what you really want and feel, you open the channels of communication, and you make room for actually getting what you want. You can let him know that, because you’ve been hurt in the past, you’re finding it hard to be open now. But don’t rush it. If being vulnerable doesn’t come naturally, you may need to work through some past experiences that are blocking you from falling in love again.

6. You’re Done Playing Games

Games are most definitely for children, though I’m willing to bet your younger self played a few when dating. Still, another of the signs of true love is that you have no desire to play with this man’s mind. You want to be straightforward so that he knows you’re serious about where this relationship is headed.

So let’s say you’re having an argument with your boyfriend. Game Playing You would have stormed out, hoping he’d chase after you and beg for your forgiveness. But the Real You knows that this is no way to be in a relationship, and so you express your frustration and seek a way to resolve the situation.

Congrats! You’re a mature woman in a relationship…in love!

7. You Want to Do Nice Things for Him

You give to him because you love him, not to get something in return.

You’re at a bookstore and you see a book that your guy would love, so you buy it for him. You don’t do this so he can reimburse you for the book, or so you can rack up “points” with him. You don’t even care about him returning the favor. You simply want to do something nice, without reward or thanks.

This is, to me, one of the best signs of true love, because you are acting from a completely selfless place. You are putting someone else before your own needs and desires, and that is truly a beautiful thing.

8. It’s Not Fleeting

Like I said earlier: infatuation is fleeting. You may feel crazy in love for a few weeks early in a relationship, but after a while, his habit of chewing with his mouth open makes you so angry that you think about breaking up for this insignificant reason. This isn’t love.

Love goes on and on and only grows over time. The more you get to know him, the more reasons you have to love him. Often with infatuation, the more “real” things you know about a man, the less you like him. But love is the opposite. You don’t gloss over the negative, but you take it as part and parcel of being with this person long-term.

9. One Argument Does Not End the Relationship

I remember the first few arguments I had with my girlfriend Jess when we first started dating. I remember worrying that each would be the end of our relationship. But as I started falling in love with her, I remember that those arguments were less scary. I was more confident in my love for her, and knew that a silly disagreement wouldn’t end us.

10. You See Him in Your Future

Everything you think about in the future — from a camping trip you have planned in six months to living abroad in 20 years — has him in it. One of the signs of true love is simply seeing a future together and talking about it. You’re not just fantasizing about walking down the aisle to marry him, you can picture the small stuff too. You can see taking ski vacations at Mammoth. Him cheering your son on during a soccer game. Selling your house when the kids leave and moving into a small condo by the beach.

11. It Feels Natural

Loving him just feels right!

Love should never, ever feel forced. I know women who wanted so desperately to be in love that they tried to maneuver a not-right relationship into love.

It never worked out.

If you’re really in love, it just feels…right. You don’t worry about the whatifs and shoulds because you know they’ll just magically work themselves out. This man fits with you, with your life. When it’s right, there’s nothing more natural than love.

12. You Would Gladly Sacrifice for Him

The two of you have been invited to a party at your friend’s house…but his friend from college is in town the same night. Rather than fighting about it or trying to guilt him into going to the party, you tell him you’ll hang with him and his friend.

Or you move in together and you pick a house that’s a shorter commute to his job…and twice as long for you.

You don’t begrudge him for getting his way because you love him. And you know that he’d sacrifice for you just as much. Love makes not having your way not feel like a sacrifice; you’re simply doing it in the name of love.

13. His Successes are Yours

He got a promotion at work and you’re thrilled. Same goes for when he just has a great day. You’re looking at one of the signs of true love when you’re genuinely happy when he does well at life.

You’re supportive of him as he works his way through law school or anything else that’s tedious and time-consuming. When you love someone, you are there for him emotionally through the ups and downs, and you show that you’re cheering him on. It’s a huge confidence-builder to know someone cares about you enough to be his own private cheerleader!

14. It’s Not all Roses and Unicorns (and That’s Okay!)

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When you were younger and fancied yourself in love, you foolishly thought every minute would be magical. You felt sad and confused when things were less than perfect.

But now? You realize that loving someone means there is good and bad.  Your relationship might be great for months or years, and then you hit a rough patch. That doesn’t mean things are over; it’s just part of the cycle. At this point in your life, you understand that there’s no such thing as perfect when you’re in a relationship. But there is happiness, and that should be your aim.

15. You’re Truly Partners in Life

Maybe when you were married or in a long relationship, you didn’t really felt like your mate was your equal partner. Maybe one of you dominated the relationship, throwing everything off kilter. But with this guy, you really get the sense of equality.

You take turns being the strong one for the other person when you’re going through something tough. You both work hard to make your relationship solid. You each give and take in a balanced way. You don’t have to keep score because you know he’s putting in just as much love as you are.

16. You Don’t Rely on Him to Make You Happy (Though He Does)

A common problem I’ve seen in my years of working as a dating and relationship coach is when one person turns to the other to feel happy. Then things go badly when that person doesn’t pay enough attention to the other, or if she spends time with friends instead of her man.

I know you’ve probably heard this before, but let me say it again: you can’t rely on other people to make you happy.

Here’s a concept for you to mull over: experts say that your relationship with another person mirrors the relationship you have with yourself.

Sit with that for a minute.

If you can’t make yourself happy, you can’t expect someone else to. On the other hand, if you have a good relationship with yourself, love yourself and are happy on your own, you’ll have a good relationship with your partner. You’ll know that, while he makes you happy, that’s not his job. And you’ll know that you can 100% be happy on your own.

17. You Communicate, Not Fight

Communicate with love rather than fighting.

It’s completely normal to have disagreements when you’re in a relationship. But it’s how you deal with those that determines how strong your relationship is.

Would you think that a couple that shouts at one another and calls each other names…or one that sits down and gets to the root of the issue…would be the one to last longer?

Another of the signs of true love is being willing to communicate rather than fight. You might be effing furious at some perceived offense, but rather than blowing up at him (because what does that solve?), you take a walk around the block, collect your thoughts, then come back to discuss the problem rationally. This actually produces positive results. He finds out what he did wrong and can make the situation better, and he doesn’t feel defensive when you talk to him.

18. You Love to Make Him Smile

Ahh, one of my favorite things in the world is to make from Meet Positives SM Feed 3 https://ift.tt/2DPahuG via IFTTT