#CBeebies little robots

[box-of-chaooos]

Recently rediscovered little robots here’s some headcannons as usual these are my own thoughts you don’t have to agree and none of it is cannon this is just for fun

Sporty and noisy have adhd

Noisys songs are her way of stimming

Sporty spinning his rackets (ears) is him stimming

Stretchy, stripy, tiny, scary and Rusty have autism.

Noisy is loud because she has apd, auditory processing disorder she doesn’t realise just how loud she’s being the other learnt that telling her wasn’t much use and so go along with it

The sparky twins are the youngest of the little robots, sparky 1 is slightly older than sparky 2 though as mentioned in the show

Stretchy has ocd not only because he has a need to be organised but if he spins round one way he must spin the other to balance it out

Stretchy has a very VERY strict routine breaking it can easily cause meltdowns and things must be a certian way.

Sporty has npd, narcissistic personality disorder. She’s trying her best to combat it and the others are supportive of her

Scary only thinks he needs to be scary because of his name and how he looks but really he’s very jumpy and easily frightened and is rather ashamed of it. Hence the need to seem big and bold

Sporty is completely oblivious to rusty crushing on him rusty is oblivious she’s even often cosying up to him.

Don’t tell anyone but stretchy has a special little stuffie! It’s a little turtle with a looong neck (soft shell turtle) and it’s his biggest comfort item

Messy just.. showed up one day, no one claims him as theirs or anything he’s just everyone’s friend free to do whatever he’d like too

Spotty knits in secret, stripy crotchets openly and knows about spotty knitting so sometimes he goes over and drops off wool secretly to her

Stretchy does raptor hands but if he realises he quickly puts them down and denies he ever did it

Stretchy stims by clapping and stretching his neck and going “waaay!”

Spotty likes to think she’s the big boss but really, it’s tiny

Mental ages⬇️

Sparky twins are 15

Tiny is 18

Noisy is 20

Rusty is 22

Sporty is 23

Stripy is 37

Stretchy is 40

Scary is 42

Spotty is 50

Sexuality headcannons

Sparky twins- straight ,ally they don’t really care for love themselves but support others

Tiny- asexual aromantic he’s just content with his friends

Noisy- bi she likes either or someone who can be noisy with her is all she wants really

Rusty- straight, Ally hopeless in love with sporty

Sporty- doesn’t know but he’s gay that’s gonna break rusty :/

Stripy- asexual aromantic, all he needs is his flowers and his teddy

Stretchy- gay asexual he’s not out though he doesn’t really see the need to tell anyone

Scary- gay, like very openly gay he’s that sassy kind too

Spotty- straight she’s supportive though she doesn’t really understand it herself

Yeah idk really lol I’m drawing stretchy I’ll post it later on when he’s done ye, if spottys npd headcannon upsets anyone I’m so sorry just know I this is a judgment free zone and your safe here all are welcome on this blog and no hate is intended the same goes for stretchys ocd headcannon

[joneoyvilde03]

miles tails prower & tiny in crossover with fox and robot

マイルステイルズプロワー & チサな

hello everyone got like a fox and robot on crossover named a miles tails prower & Tiny a friend bound for little boys buddy and bestie with Sonic & sporty and his little robots friends. Thanks for made joneoyvilde03

character from:

sonic the hedgehog/Sega

Little robots/BBC Worldwide

by joneoyvilde03

[ikoarts]

December 2022 Art

back to form a bit this month, i really love a lot of the stuff i drew here x

vvv dates + info under the cut vvv

1 - 01/12/2022 : a young Ru! about 14 i think, i was having thoughts about her childhood and how she'd be in school etc

2-5 - 04/12/2022 : vampires.. hehe... thats all x ,, also more little ru, thought she would have a friend, she doesn't keep up with her into adulthood though, but i think Ru thinks of her a lot. also one of her in another outfit, i think she'd constantly have those claires rave ball earrings in like i did LOL

6, 7, 8 - 05/12/2022 : was thinking of what she'd wear to her school disco, somethin trendy, this would have been 2002, i was alive but not old enough to remember how teens were dressing lmfao, but anyhow i love this outfit, something she'd never wear otherwise, but she tries to fit in a bit.. also another little Toni, shes not emo enough here tho

9, 10 - 07/12/2022 : no idea whats going on here x ,, toni suspects homosexual activity, also was playing around with my Rouxls design again (i still dont know how i should be drawing him)

11, 12 - 08/09/12/2022 : TOLD U, we are at last at my current MTT design :D i love how he looks, so funky...

13, 14 - 10/12/2022 : more MTT, wanted to solidify the design, so drew him in a fun pose, still to this day this is one of my fave drawings. since Toni is, or was, like a genderbent human AU version of MTT, i was thinking of playing with her design to reflect that, i didn't go with it tho, still, it was fun to play around with

15, 16 - 18/12/2022 : idk why i lied like that in my last post LOL, i didnt draw the full digital lammy piece for awhile, but this one is definitely closer to the design i went with for her, think i based the digital one on this drawing too. More teen Toni too! i love this drawing its like the quintessential Her, esp her eye design, im glad i went and revised that, bc i know she had raccoon eyes

17, 18 - 21/12/2022 : another fiddle with my Rouxls design, i don't hate this one tbh.. also tism creature Ru

19-22 - 27/12/2022 : i think i found some random pencils and felt like inking and colouring a drawing, not my fave thing but heres a Ru in colour, the rest of the stuff i did this day i like a lot more. Next is an updated version of my gijinka of Rusty from Little Robots, idk if i ever even posted any of the old art i did for this, but heres her again <3 then just a Ru in the festive spirit, cosy jumper and a mug of somethin, i like this one bc shes just so squinkie......

23 - 31/12/2022 : last of 2022! this was done midnight before NYE itself, idk whats going on but i like it, i was thinking about what designs i could make for acrylic keyrings, and the rest is just random x

now onto 2023..... girl im so tired

[content-d3leted]

I am going to ramble about Justin's house. Noone will ever read this probably, but I could not care less, I just have to express my thoughts somewhere!!!

What I love about Robert is the fact that he can say the most ridiculous shit ever and he just gets away with it. Like if any other presenter on cbeebies said some of the stuff he did then it would just sound out of character, but for Robert, he just absolutely nails how to speak it.

'Madam, you are a human gyroscope'. Like mate imagine Rebecca or Evie saying that. No way.

'I'm just going to sit over here....and think about my life choices.' This one actually made me giggle so much, I can picture him just sitting on the floor behind the sofa doing that omg

And the stupid little throwaway comments he does in the show and the pantos aswell is the most hilarious thing EVER. Like when Nina was running onto stage in the 2012 panto and he was like 'oh she's been at the sweets again'. Actually hilarious.

The JH podcasts are so boring though (for the most part). Of course it's meant for small children, no wonder I don't find them great, but the quality of the scripts is abhorrent. I died of cringe at some of the lines. Like what do you MEAN that Justin and Steve get paid to say the line 'let's have a spin-song' (instead of a singsong, I can't recall the scenario that led to the word-pun), but jesus that was a rubbish joke. Justin and Robert get so fruity in them tho, like it actually made my jaw drop (/pos) at some parts at how gay it is

Like when Robert fell asleep on the sofa, and Justin said something along the lines of 'Oh, look at his little robot face, isn't he adorable!! Who's my little robot...you! (x2)' THAT IS SO GAY. I LOVE IT. And when Justin said to Robert something like 'Oh you're too kind, you charmer!' AAAAA I LOVE THEM!! And in the Christmas episode where they're unwrapping eachothers gifts!! That whole segment of it was so adorable!!!

Their whole relationship is so cute though. Like you can clearly see that Robert fancies Justin throughout the whole show. Eg in series 1 'Starting with art' when Justin did his little show-off dance of his arty clothes, Robert posed in a way that you could CLEARLY see that he thought Justin looked hot, which is quite funny. Also in 'Robert's inventions', Robert literally gives Justin such a seductive look for literally no reason, its so obvious he likes him. AND THE FACT THAT JUSTIN WANTED TO GO ON A DATE WITH HIM IN S2?!?! (I'd like to imagine that Robert eventually went to Posh Nosh with Justin the next day). Also at the end of s1ep23, when Dee, Nina and Cerrie chase Justin to kiss him at the end of the episode, Robert literally follows the 3 ladies in the line...like dw mate I'm sure Justin has a kiss saved for his favourite robot aswell lol. Omg I nearly forgot that in the prom podcast that Robert does, he has a phone call with Justin, and they say they love eachother at the end!!! Now that is epic. Ngl there's countless moments of homo between them, I'd be here all day if I listed them all!!

Also it's so funny how in s1ep6 that both of them (especially Robert) had a whopper hangover. Literally no other show could get away with that in an episode. Imagine a drunk TinkyWinky!?! That would be all over the news!! I guess it's a funny relatable joke for adults so noone cared. Actually now that I think about it, Bluey had an episode where her parents were hungover, and that got talked about loads!! In a good way. Its funny how JH does such wild things sometimes (those Pretty Woman references didn't escape my eye!) but literally noone cares lol

I like how at the start of some episodes it shows what they've been doing prior to the audience being there. Especially in s2. Eg Justin and Robert were taking swimming lessons together?!?! And they went to Glastonbury together too!!! They're just 2 daft lads living the life! Their chemistry is incredible though. Like no other pair in cbeebies has that spark. Cook and Line are very good together of course, but it does not match the level of Justin and Robert!

I REALLY hope that in the last ever series of JH (could be s7 or 8) that they properly confess to eachother in an episode. Or at least they say some sort of line in the background that confirms it. Or maybe even a sneaky little kiss on the cheek (although that'll never happen lol). Because I've noticed in s5 and 6 they've slightly mentioned the gay community more, eg when Robert's looking through an inventors book and says 'Oh of course him, and I remember her, ooh and I remember them!' (Yippee) and also there's a canoniclly non-binary caterpillar called Leslie, which is awesome. Maybe they're preparing the audience for something..I sure hope so.

Here endeth the rambling-eth.

[ptbf2002]

My Top 30 Favorite Shows From my Childhood

30. School For Vampires

29. Flipper And Lopaka

28. Tabaluga

27. Shaun The Sheep

26. Ace Lightning

25. Maya The Bee (1975)

24. The Jungle Book: The Adventures of Mowgli (1989)

23. Lapitch the Little Shoemaker (1997)

22. Little Mole (Krtek)

21. H2O: Just Add Water

20. M.I. High

19. What's With Andy

18. Monster Buster Club

17. Team Galaxy

16. Pokémon: Diamond And Pearl

15. Pokémon: Diamond And Pearl: Battle Dimension

14. Zeke's Pad

13. The Adventures Of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius

12. Danny Phantom

11. My Life As A Teenage Robot

10. Pucca

9. Tom And Jerry

8. Bernard

7. The Scooby-Doo Show

6. The Adventures Of Blinky Bill

5. Woody Woodpecker

4. Batman: The Brave And Bold

3. The Smurfs

2. Thomas And Friends

1. Looney Tunes

Base Used - https://www.deviantart.com/princessflamefigher/art/My-Top-30-Favorite-Meme-763485673

School for Vampires Belongs To Jackie Niebisch, Gerhard Hahn, Antony Power, Hosem Animation Studio, Con Meo Pictures Co. Ltd. Animation Services Hong Kong, RAI Fiction, RAI S.P.A. Hahn Film AG, Cartoon-One, KiKA, ZDF, and ARD

Flipper And Lopaka Belongs To Jack Cowden, Ricou Browning, Animo, Cambridge Animation Systems, Atlab, Colorland Animation Productions, Flux Animation, Soundfirm, Touchtoon Pty. Ltd. Animation Filmakers Corporation, Victory Media Group, Film Finance Corporation Australia, Yoram Gross-Village Roadshow, Yoram Gross-EM.TV, EM.TV & Merchandising AG, Flying Bark Productions Pty. Ltd. Studio 100 Media, Studio 100 N.V. ZDF, Seven Network, Seven West Media Ltd. ABC Entertains, ABC Television, Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC)

Tabaluga Belongs To Helme Heine, Peter Maffay, Gregor Rottschalk, Rolf Zuckowski, Cambridge Animation Systems, Colorland Animation Productions, Film Finance Corporation Australia, Yoram Gross Film Studios, Yoram Gross-EM.TV Pty Ltd. Flying Bark Productions Pty Ltd. Studio 100 Media, Studio 100 N.V. EM.TV & Merchandising AG, Constantin Medien AG, Sport1 Medien AG, ZDF Enterprises GmbH, ZDF Studios GmbH, ZDF, Seven Network, And Seven West Media Ltd.

Shaun The Sheep Belongs To Nick Park, Bob Baker, Aardman Animations Limited, WDR Media Group GmbH, Westdeutscher Rundfunk Köln (WDR), ARD, CBBC, CBeebies, BBC One, BBC Two, BBC Television, BBC Worldwide Ltd. BBC Studios Ltd. British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) And Netflix, Inc.

Ace Lightning Belongs To Jim Corston, Rick Siggelkow, Jeff Beiderman, Good FX, Calibre Digital Pictures, AAC Kids, Alliance Atlantis Communications Inc. Entertainment One, Lionsgate Canada, Lionsgate Studios Corporation, STARZ Entertainment Corporation, CBBC, BBC Television, BBC Worldwide Ltd. BBC Studios Ltd. British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC)

Maya the Honey Bee Belongs To Waldemar Bonsels, Zuiyo Co., Ltd. Nippon Animation Co., Ltd. Wako Productions, Apollo Film Vienna, TV Asahi Holdings Corporation, ZDF Enterprises GmbH, ZDF Studios GmbH, ZDF, ORF-Enterprise GmbH & Co KG, ORF, Network 10 Australia, Network Ten Pty Ltd. Paramount Australia & New Zealand, Paramount Networks UK & Australia, CBC Television, Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC) (Société Radio-Canada), Family Channel, WildBrain Television Inc. WildBrain Ltd. YTV, YTV Canada, Inc. Corus Entertainment Inc. Nickelodeon, Nickelodeon Group, Nickelodeon Networks Inc. Paramount Kids and Family Group, Paramount Global Content Distribution, Paramount International Networks, Paramount Domestic Media Networks, Paramount Media Networks, Inc. Viacom International Inc. Paramount Global, And Paramount Skydance Corporation

The Jungle Book: The Adventures of Mowgli (1989) Belongs To Rudyard Kipling, Nippon Animation Co., Ltd. Aldabra Cinématographique S.A. Doro TV Merchandising S.R.L. Mondo TV S.P.A. TXN Network, TV Tokyo, TV Tokyo Holdings Corporation, Rete 4, Mediaset S.P.A. MediaForEurope N.V. And Shout! Factory, LLC,

Lapitch the Little Shoemaker Belongs To Ivana Brlic-Mazuranic, Animation World, Neptuno Films, Croatia Film D.O.O. HaffaDiebold, Junior (German TV channel), EM.TV & Merchandising AG, Constantin Medien AG, Sport1 Medien AG, And Studio 100 N.V.

The Little Mole/Krtek Belongs To Zdeněk Miler, Krátký film Praha A.S. Studio Bratři v triku, Česká televize, Saarländischer Rundfunk (SR), Westdeutscher Rundfunk Köln (WDR), And ARD

H2O: Just Add Water Belongs To Jonathan M. Shiff, Jonathan M. Shiff Productions, ZDF Enterprises GmbH, ZDF Studios GmbH, ZDF, Australian Film Commission, Film Finance Corporation Australia, Screen Australia, Film Victoria, VicScreen, Pacific Film and Television Commission, Screen Queensland Studios, Network 10, Ten Network Holdings Ltd. Network Ten Pty Ltd. Paramount Australia & New Zealand, Paramount Networks UK & Australia, Paramount Global Content Distribution, Paramount International Networks, Paramount Media Networks, Paramount Global, And Paramount Skydance Corporation

M.I. High Belongs To Keith Brumpton, Kudos, Endemol UK PLC, Endemol UK Limited, Endemol Shine UK Limited, Banijay UK Productions Limited, Shine Group, Endemol Shine Group B.V. Banijay Entertainment S.A. Banijay Group N.V. CBBC, BBC Television, BBC Worldwide Ltd. BBC Studios Ltd. And British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC)

What's With Andy Belongs To Andy Griffiths, Chile Animación, Jireh Animation, Les Dessins Animés Zoetrope, NIC Entertainment, CinéGroupe, Lionsgate Entertainment Corporation, SIP Animation, Saban Entertainment, Inc. FOX KIDS, FOX Family Worldwide Inc. TELETOON Original Production, TELETOON Canada Inc. Corus Entertainment Inc. RTL Super, RTL Deutschland GmbH, RTL Group S.A. Jetix Europe N.V. Disney Branded Television, Disney–ABC Home Entertainment and Television Distribution, Disney General Entertainment Content, Disney Media and Entertainment Distribution, Disney Entertainment, Disney Enterprises, Inc. And The Walt Disney Company

Monster Buster Club Belongs To Vincent Chalvon-Demersay, David Michel, Designstorm Animation Studio, Marathon Animation, Marathon Media Group, Zodiak Kids Studios France, Banijay Kids & Family, Banijay Entertainment S.A. Banijay Group N.V. Image Entertainment Corporation, Mystery Animation, TF1, Groupe TF1 S.A. Jetix Europe N.V. Disney Branded Television, Disney–ABC Home Entertainment and Television Distribution, Disney General Entertainment Content, Disney Media and Entertainment Distribution, Disney Entertainment, Disney Enterprises, Inc. And The Walt Disney Company YTV, YTV Canada, Inc. And Corus Entertainment Inc.

Team Galaxy Belongs To Vincent Chalvon-Demersay, David Michel, Michelle Lamoreaux, Robert Lamoreaux, Digital eMation Inc. Marathon Animation, Marathon Media Group, Zodiak Kids Studios France, Banijay Kids & Family, Banijay Entertainment S.A. Banijay Group N.V. Image Entertainment Corporation, Mystery Animation, Quebec Productions, RAI Fiction, Une Coproduction, RAI 2, RAI S.P.A. Jetix Europe N.V. YTV Canada, Inc. Corus Entertainment Inc. France 3, France Télévisions S.A. VRAK-TV, Bell Media Inc. And Bell Canada Enterprises Inc.

Pokémon the Series: Diamond and Pearl Belongs To OLM, Inc. OLM Team Ota, OLM Team Iguchi, OLM Team Kato, IMAGICA Lab. Inc. The Pokémon Company, Game Freak Inc. ILCA, Nintendo Co., Ltd. 4Kids Entertainment, Inc. 4K Media Inc. 4Licensing Corporation, Konami Cross Media NY, Inc. Konami Group Corporation, The Pokémon Company International, TV Tokyo, TV Tokyo Holdings Corporation, Cartoon Network, The Cartoon Network, Inc. Turner Entertainment Networks Inc. WarnerMedia Entertainment, WarnerMedia Studios & Networks, Warner Bros. Discovery Networks, Warner Bros. Discovery Global Linear Networks, VIZ Media, LLC, Shogakukan-Shueisha Productions Co., Ltd. Hitotsubashi Group, Warner Bros. Home Entertainment, Inc. Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. WarnerMedia, And Warner Bros. Discovery, Inc.

Pokémon: Diamond And Pearl: Battle Dimension Belongs To OLM, Inc. OLM Team Ota, OLM Team Iguchi, OLM Team Kato, IMAGICA Lab. Inc. The Pokémon Company, Game Freak Inc. ILCA, Nintendo Co., Ltd. 4Kids Entertainment, Inc. 4K Media Inc. 4Licensing Corporation, Konami Cross Media NY, Inc. Konami Group Corporation, The Pokémon Company International, TV Tokyo, TV Tokyo Holdings Corporation, Cartoon Network, The Cartoon Network, Inc. Turner Entertainment Networks Inc. WarnerMedia Entertainment, WarnerMedia Studios & Networks, Warner Bros. Discovery Networks, Warner Bros. Discovery Global Linear Networks, VIZ Media, LLC, Shogakukan-Shueisha Productions Co., Ltd. Hitotsubashi Group, Warner Bros. Home Entertainment, Inc. Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. WarnerMedia, And Warner Bros. Discovery, Inc.

Zeke's Pad Belongs To Liz Scully, Flying Bark Productions Pty. Ltd. Studio 100 Media, Studio 100 N.V. Bardel Entertainment, Inc. Avrill Stark Entertainment, Leaping Lizard Productions, Seven Network, Seven West Media Ltd. YTV, YTV Canada, Inc. And Corus Entertainment Inc.

The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius Belongs to John A. Davis, DNA Productions, Inc. O Entertainment, Omation Animation Studio, Nickelodeon Animation Studios Inc. Nickelodeon Productions, Nickelodeon, Nicktoons, Nickelodeon Group, Nickelodeon Networks Inc. Paramount Kids and Family Group, Paramount Global Content Distribution, Paramount International Networks, Paramount Domestic Media Networks, Paramount Media Networks, Inc. Viacom International Inc. Paramount Global, And Paramount Skydance Corporation

The Fairly Oddparents Belongs To Butch Hartman, Yeson Entertainment, Sunwoo Entertainment, Co., Ltd. Elliott Animation Inc. Billionfold Inc. Frederator Studios, Frederator Networks, Inc. WOW! Unlimited Media Inc. Kartoon Studios, Inc. Nelvana Limited, Corus Entertainment Inc. Nickelodeon Animation Studios Inc. Nickelodeon Productions, Nickelodeon, Nicktoons, Nickelodeon Group, Nickelodeon Networks Inc. Paramount Kids and Family Group, Paramount Global Content Distribution, Paramount International Networks, Paramount Domestic Media Networks, Paramount Media Networks, Inc. Viacom International Inc. Paramount Global, And Paramount Skydance Corporation

My Life as a Teenage Robot Belongs To Rob Renzetti, Rough Draft Studios, Inc. Frederator Studios, Frederator Networks, Inc. WOW! Unlimited Media Inc. Kartoon Studios, Inc. Nelvana Limited, Corus Entertainment Inc. Nickelodeon Animation Studios Inc. Nickelodeon Productions, Nickelodeon, Nicktoons, Nickelodeon Group, Nickelodeon Networks Inc. Paramount Kids and Family Group, Paramount Global Content Distribution, Paramount International Networks, Paramount Domestic Media Networks, Paramount Media Networks, Inc. Viacom International Inc. Paramount Global, And Paramount Skydance Corporation

Pucca (TV Series) (2006-2008) Belongs To Boo Kyoung Kim, Calvin Kim, VOOZ Co., Ltd. Studio B Productions, Inc. DHX Media Vancouver, WildBrain Studios, DHX Media, Ltd. WildBrain Ltd. MBC TV (South Korean TV channel), Munhwa Broadcasting Corporation, Toon Disney, Jetix, Jetix Europe N.V. Disney Branded Television, Disney–ABC Home Entertainment and Television Distribution, Disney General Entertainment Content, Disney Media and Entertainment Distribution, Disney Entertainment, Disney Enterprises, Inc. And The Walt Disney Company

Tom and Jerry Belongs To William Hanna, Joseph Barbera, Wang Film Productions Co., Ltd. Fil-Cartoons, Mr. Big Cartoons, Bardel Entertainment, Inc. Baer Animation Company, CNK International, Seoul Movie Co., Ltd. Toon City Animation Inc. Yearim Productions Co., Ltd. Hanho Heung-Up Co., Ltd. Rough Draft Korea Co. Ltd. Rough Draft Studios, Inc. Lotto Animation, Inc. Renegade Animation, PIP Animation Services Inc. Slap Happy Cartoons Inc. Digital eMation, Inc. Duncan Studio, Rembrandt Films, Sib Tower 12, Inc. MGM Animation/Visual Arts, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Cartoon Studio, Harman-Ising Productions, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios, Inc. MGM Holdings, Inc. Amazon MGM Studios, Amazon, Inc. Turner Entertainment Company, Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. Hanna-Barbera Cartoons, Inc. Warner Bros. Animation Inc. Kids' WB! The WB, The WB Television Network, Inc. Tribune Broadcasting Company, LLC. Tribune Media Company, Nexstar Media Group, Inc. Cartoon Network, Boomerang, The Cartoon Network, Inc. Turner Entertainment Networks Inc. WarnerMedia Entertainment, WarnerMedia Studios & Networks, Warner Bros. Discovery Networks, Warner Bros. Discovery Global Linear Networks, Warner Bros. Domestic Television Distribution, Warner Bros. Television Studios, Warner Bros. Television Group, Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. WarnerMedia, And Warner Bros. Discovery, Inc.

Bernard (TV series) Belongs To Jose Luis Ucha Enriquez, Claudio Biern Lliviria, RG Animation Studios, BRB Internacional S.A.U. Screen 21, Synergy Media, SK Broadband, Inc. EBS Productions, M6 Métropole Télévision, AnimaKids, Cartoon Network, The Cartoon Network, Inc. Turner Entertainment Networks Inc. WarnerMedia Entertainment, WarnerMedia Studios & Networks, Warner Bros. Discovery Networks, Warner Bros. Discovery Global Linear Networks, Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. WarnerMedia, Warner Bros. Discovery, Inc. Phase 4 Films, Inc. M6, Métropole Television S.A. Groupe M6, And Korean Educational Broadcasting System (EBS),

The Scooby-Doo Show Belongs To William Hanna, Joseph Barbera, Iwao Takamoto, Joe Ruby, Ken Spears, Ruby-Spears Productions Inc. Hanna-Barbera Cartoons, Inc. Worldvision Enterprises, Inc. Taft Broadcasting Company, Spelling Television Inc. Paramount Domestic Television, CBS Media Ventures, Inc. CBS Studios, Inc. CBS Entertainment Group, Paramount Global, Paramount Skydance Corporation, Turner Program Services, Turner Entertainment Company, Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. Warner Bros. Animation Inc. Warner Bros. Television Studios, Warner Bros. Television Group, Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. WarnerMedia, And Warner Bros. Discovery, Inc.

The Adventures Of Blinky Bill Belongs To Yoram Gross, Dorothy Wall, Colorland Animation Productions Co., Ltd. Film Finance Corporation Australia, Yoram Gross Film Studios, Yoram Gross-EM.TV Pty Ltd. Flying Bark Productions Pty Ltd. Studio 100 N.V. WDR, ARD, EM.TV & Merchandising AG, Constantin Medien AG, Sport1 Medien AG, Seven Network, Seven West Media Ltd. ABC TV, ABC Kids, ABC Television, And Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC)

Woody Woodpecker Belongs To Walter Lantz, Ben Hardaway, Walter Lantz Productions Inc. Universal Cartoon Studios, Universal Animation Studios LLC, Universal 1440 Entertainment, Universal Pictures International, Studio Distribution Services, LLC, Universal Pictures Home Entertainment LLC, Universal Television LLC, Universal Pictures, Universal City Studios LLC, Universal Pictures Content Group, Universal Filmed Entertainment Group, Universal Studios, Inc. NBCUniversal Film and Entertainment, NBCUniversal Syndication Studios, NBCUniversal Television and Streaming, NBCUniversal Media Group, NBCUniversal Media, LLC, And Comcast Corporation

Batman: The Brave And Bold Belongs To Bob Kane, Bill Finger, James Tucker, Michael Jelenic, Digital eMation, Inc. DongWoo Animation Co. Ltd. Lotto Animation Inc. MOI Animation Co., Ltd. DC Comics, Inc. DC Studios, DC Entertainment, Warner Bros. Animation Inc. Cartoon Network, The Cartoon Network, Inc. Turner Entertainment Networks Inc. WarnerMedia Entertainment, WarnerMedia Studios & Networks, Warner Bros. Discovery Networks, Warner Bros. Discovery Global Linear Networks, Warner Bros. Domestic Television Distribution Warner Bros. Television Studios, Warner Bros. Television Group, Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. WarnerMedia, And Warner Bros. Discovery, Inc.

The Smurfs (1981 TV series) Belongs To Pierre "Peyo" Culliford, BigStar Enterprise, Inc. Wang Film Productions Co., Ltd. Daewon Media Co., Ltd. Hanho Heung-Up Co., Ltd. Fil-Cartoons Inc. Hong Ying Animation Co., Ltd. Jade Animation Company, Luk Film, Pion Animation, Saerom Animation, Inc. Sam Young Animation, Sei Young Animation Co., Ltd. Sunwoo & Company, Co., Ltd. Toei Animation Co., Ltd. Take One, Studio Peyo S.A. Dupuis Édition & Audiovisuel S.A. LAFIG Belgium S.A. Éditions Dupuis S.A. Peyo Company, SEPP International S.A. DIC Entertainment Corporation, Cookie Jar Entertainment Inc. Cookie Jar Group, DHX Cookie Jar Inc. DHX Media, Ltd. WildBrain Ltd. Hanna-Barbera Cartoons, Inc. Worldvision Enterprises, Inc. Taft Broadcasting Company, Spelling Television Inc. Paramount Domestic Television, CBS Media Ventures, Inc. CBS Studios, Inc. CBS Entertainment Group, Paramount Global, Turner Program Services, Turner Entertainment Company, Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. Tribune Entertainment, Tribune Broadcasting Company, LLC. Tribune Media Company, Nexstar Media Group, Inc. Warner Bros. Animation Inc. Warner Bros. Television Studios, Warner Bros. Television Group, Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. WarnerMedia, Warner Bros. Discovery, Inc. NBC, NBC Entertainment, NBCUniversal Media Group, NBCUniversal Media, LLC, And Comcast Corporation

Thomas And Friends Belongs To Britt Allcroft, Clapham Junction, Clearwater Studios Battersea, Shepperton Studios, Nitrogen Studios Canada, Inc. Cinesite Vancouver, Cinesite, Arc Productions, Jam Filled Entertainment, Boat Rocker Media Inc. Clearwater Features, Britt Allcroft Ltd. Britt Allcroft (Thomas) Ltd. The Britt Allcroft Company PLC, Fuji Television Network, Inc. Gullane Entertainment PLC, HIT Entertainment Limited, Mattel Television, Mattel, Inc. ITV 1, ITV Studios Global Entertainment, ITV Studios Limited, ITV plc, Nick Jr. (British and Irish TV channel), Nickelodeon UK Ltd. Milkshake! Channel 5 (British TV channel), Channel 5 Broadcasting Limited, Paramount Networks UK & Australia, Paramount International Networks. Paramount Global, Paramount Skydance Corporation, WNET-TV Channel 13 New York, The WNET Group, PBS Kids, PBS Distribution, And Public Broadcasting Service (PBS)

Looney Tunes Belongs To Leon Schlesinger, Hugh Harman, Rudolf Ising, Harman-Ising Productions, Leon Schlesinger Productions, Warner Bros. Cartoons, Inc. DePatie–Freleng Enterprises, Format Productions, Warner Bros.-Seven Arts Animation, The Vitaphone Corporation, Vitagraph Company of America, Turner Entertainment Company, Warner Bros. Animation Inc. Kids' WB! The WB, The WB Television Network, Inc. Tribune Broadcasting Company, LLC. Tribune Media Company, Nexstar Media Group, Inc. Cartoon Network, Boomerang, The Cartoon Network, Inc. Turner Entertainment Networks Inc. WarnerMedia Entertainment, WarnerMedia Studios & Networks, Warner Bros. Discovery Networks, Warner Bros. Discovery Global Linear Networks, Warner Bros. Domestic Television Distribution, Warner Bros. Television Studios, Warner Bros. Television Group, Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. WarnerMedia, And Warner Bros. Discovery, Inc.

[blue-i]

Another little fan art piece of Robert with Little Monster

[themesozoicsperm]

What’s going in the Little Robots fandom???

[nostalgiamare]

NOSTALGIAMARE ENTRY 18

NAME: LITTLE ROBOTS

COMPANY/FRANCHISE: COSGROVE HALL

CREATE TV & FILM

CBEEBIES

CATEGORY: TV SERIES (ANIMATED)

YEAR: 2003

DESCRIPTION: One of Cosgrove Hall’s many stop-motion animated series in their collection in a partnership with Create & Film TV (Now known as The Lego Group). Based off the 1999 book by Mike Brownlow. When a tiny robot named Tiny fixes his friends who were all lying about in a city junkyard, they all work together to create their own home made of junk in a pipe. There they have daily adventures, solve problems and are the best of friends. Almost like they are a Little Robot Family. Each of the characters all have different personalities, flaws and hobbies with their own relationship dynamics. Hijinks may ensue, strange things may happen and they might clash, but at the end of the day they are all still friends and all find their own ways to have fun.

MOD THOUGHTS

1: Obviously you can only make so many Robots with the budget you have (About like 10 or 11) and if you had all of them from the book there would be some character issues but I’m still sad that we never got this 90s/Y2K robot in animated form ;-;

2: There is so much GENUINELY GOOD NOSTALGIA in this series from the smooth animation to the character dynamics to the voice acting to the BANGER THEME SONG. It’s such a DIAMOND compared to most of the entries on this blog (I said most not all of them don’t worry lol-)

3: Just wanna remind you all that Sporty here

Also voice acted in this

your welcome.

LINK TO SOURCES: https://www.youtube.com/@LittleRobotsFullEpisodesMore/videos (Full Episodes)

https://web.archive.org/web/20230000000000*/littlerobots.com (Website Archive URL)

[doyelikehaggis]

How come you never watched drake and josh so you did not know about Megan/Mindy

I just never came across it on tv while growing up 🤷‍♀️ Okay, maybe this will help, here is a list of things I grew up watching until the age of ten

• Harry Potter

• Still Game (Seriously, this was pretty much my entire childhood in itself)

• VHS Disney movies

• Movies like St Trinians and Wild Child and Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging

• Tracy Beaker

• Glee

• CBBC (So, again, Tracy Beaker, Horrible Histories, Arthur, ChuckleVision, Teletubbies, Tweenies, Come Outside, Pingu, Mona the Vampire, LazyTown, Trapped!)

• Cbeebies (In the Night Garden, Something Special, Balamory, Charlie and Lola, Numberjacks, Bob the Builder, Fireman Sam, Fimbles, Nina and the Neurons)

• Popgirl (Miss this channel so much, 6teen, Life with Derek, Lizzie McGuire, Madeline, Mew Mew Power, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Strawberry Shortcake, Trollz, Winx Club, Zoey 101)

• Tiny Pop (The Berenstain Bears, Rolie Polie Olie, Timothy Goes to School, My Little Pony, Care Bears)

• Walker, Texas Ranger

• Calamity Jane

• On the Buses

• Eastenders, Coronation Street, Emmerdale, River City

• Doctor Who + The Sarah Jane Adventures

• CITV (Horrid Henry, Adventure Time, Art Attack, Baby Looney Tunes, Ben 10, Bratz, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Curious George, Digimon, Dora the Explorer, Engie Benji, Grizzly Tales for Gruesome Kids, Hilltop Hospital, King Arthur's Disasters, Little Einsteins, Meg and Mog, My Parents Are Aliens, Noddy, Rub-A-Dub-Dub, Rugrats, Sailor Moon, Scooby Doo, SpongeBob SquarePants, Winnie the Pooh, The Wombles, Tom and Jerry)

• Specifically Milkshake Channel 5 (Angelina Ballerina, Bananas in Pyjamas, Fifi and the Flowertots, Peppa Pig, The Mr. Men Show, High 5, Rupert, Thomas the Tank Engine, Barney, Bear in the Big Blue House, Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs, Blue's Clues, Jojos Circus, Oswald, Pocoyo)

• Special mentions: Me Too!, Andy Pandy, Bits and Bobs, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Dani's House, Dennis the Menace and Gnasher, Bill and Ben, Get Squiggling, Little Robots, Mister Maker, Pablo the Little Red Fox, Powerpuff Girls, Family Guy, American Dad

• Nickelodeon (Victorious, iCarly, Fairly OddParents, The Backyardigans, Go Diego Go!)

So, those shows were pretty much my childhood up until the age of 10! The tv in the living room was pretty much always split between three categories: old westerns that were usually in black and white (my dad), CITV or CBBC (me and my sister), and Clubland (my mum).

I honestly don't know how I missed shows like Drake & Josh when it was airing on Nickelodeon, but I just didn't pay too much attention to that channel most of the time if iCarly or Victorious wasn't on, I guess. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this long trip down memory lane that no one asked for!

[shadyfacewolf]

Sigo estrenando más dibujos en Tumblr:

Little Robots (Fué producida por Cosgrove Hall Films, Film Limited y emitida por CBeebies (canal de la BBC dirigido á niños preescolares). La serie de ficción se basa en el libro anónimo de Mike Brownlow, Publicado por Ragged Bears Publishing de 1999. Es distribuida por BBC en más de 60 países).

Topaz de Trollz (c) Thomas Dam,DIC

Lady Hacker de Emojis,la película (c) Sony Pictures Animation

Heatchliff (c) George Gately,DIC Entertainment

Amatista de SU y Johnny Bravo (Los dos personajes son propiedad de Cartoon Network)

Matt de Cyberhase (c) Larry Jacobs,Jason Groh.Nelvana,Curious Pictures y PBS Kids

Ian Kelly de Ser Ian (c) Ian James Corlett,YTV,Nelvana

Fox McCloud de Starfox (c) Nintendo

Frank de la fiesta de salchichas (c) Sony Pictures Animation 

Y ponemos guinda á la torta con Binky el payaso de Garfield y sus amigos (c) Jim Davis

[anneedmonds]

Life Update: The Squashing Fetish

I am writing this whilst leaning back – reasonably heavily – on my cat cushion. Not a feather-stuffed, velvet-covered cat cushion, mind: it’s a real life cat cushion. Living and breathing. Slightly more supportive than an inanimate one, if you must know. And the constant, heavy purring is incredibly relaxing – those vibrations, along with his occasional squirmy rearranging of the limbs, provide a sort of low-key massage chair effect.

Not at all like one of those massage chairs that you get at some hairdressing salons or nail bars. Where on earth do they get those monstrosities from? I don’t think I’ve ever felt safe in one, let alone relaxed. The clanky rollers that move up and down beneath the pleather surface, the “fingers” that knead at your shoulders…it’s like being massaged by Edward Scissorhands, except that he’s doing it crouching on your back wearing rollerskates.

Anyway, I don’t know why the cat has suddenly taken to squeezing himself behind me as I sit at my desk – it’s as though he’s developed some sort of squashing fetish. The more I lean back, the more he loves it. It’s all very odd and I’m not sure I’m entirely comfortable with it, despite the fact that it feels really nice. I just worry about his little bones, or that he might suffocate. But still, he jumps in and crawls into the space behind my back and then pokes at me with his paws until I lean back and exert some pressure…

I’ve been at my desk a lot. I know you probably think I’ve been off having a lovely old time, but I have been working. Just not online. No checking Instagram every ten minutes, no Twitter notifications or Youtube alerts: just good old-fashioned typing away on Microsoft Word, typing like it’s 1999.

I say “working” but I use that word loosely because my brain is still very firmly in lockdown mode, despite the country starting to open back up for business. My brain just won’t seem to exit itself from the emergency energy saving programme it entered back in March; whenever something pressing needs to be done, it replies telepathically with oh, don’t worry about it. Life’s too short. There are bigger fish to fry. And other clichés. A rolling stone gathers no moss. 

That last one wasn’t really relevant but it’s always been a favourite. Mainly because I don’t fully understand it. Why would you want to gather moss? It always sounds a bit like some stuffy aunt saying to you, when you’re young and all you want to do is go to Bali and get shitfaced on a beach with semi-naked hot guys wearing shark-tooth pendants, “oh, all of that gadding about! You’ll never be able to collect a load of rubbish porcelain dolls and put them in a dusty glass-fronted cabinet in your lounge if you carry on travelling to exotic places! Where’s your ambition, girl? A rolling stone gathers no moss! Don’t you want to stay in one place and know the same set of thirty-three people for your entire life? How will you ever know Maureen from number sixty-four’s business if you keep up this relentless penchant for discovering the wider world?”

Or something.

I had some notes on what the kids have been up to, because this is supposed to be a life update. They have been making little things from modelling clay (an elephant, a toadstool garden, pictured above – guess who actually made them both? Thank you, yes, I know they are brilliant), making dens around the garden, populating the dens with every single toy they can find and then leaving them out overnight to go soggy and finally, bringing stuff inside that should be outside. Leaves. Stones. Snails, dead or alive.

I feel as though this is a very particular parenting era that we are experiencing right now, with its own set of rules and quirks. It changes every week, but I think I could sum up the current era (daughter: just turned five, son: three and a half) with the following headings: inflexibility, warm hands and continuing exhaustion.

Inflexibility. There is suddenly a real lack of wriggle room when it comes to negotiations. I find it so frustrating, trying to get two small, loud people to do stuff they don’t want to do that I frequently resort to a) making threats I later don’t have the energy to uphold (“I will take all of the toys from your bedroom and put them in a bin bag if you don’t stop whacking her with the space robot!”) and b) telling minor fibs. Usually my little lies involve something being closed or something needing batteries. “Can we watch the iPad?” “No, it needs batteries.” “Can you make us a den in the living room?” “No, the living room’s…closed.”

Warm hands. I’m trying to appreciate the feeling of small, warm hands in mine. Because my daughter is now almost as tall as me, seemingly, and it’s becoming increasingly difficult to pick her up. She’s just suddenly quite long and unwieldy. It’s like trying to walk along carrying an olive tree, or, I don’t know, a small hat stand. A clothes airer. Everything’s angular, rangy. Limbtastic. And so I know that soon I’ll be weeping over that poem – how does it go?

One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down And never pick them up that way again

(If you ever want to have a maudlin old weep then read the whole thing – it’s called The Last Time. In fact I’ll type it out below for you. Hankies at the ready.)

So yes, even though she’s still grabbing my face for kisses, and the three year-old still likes to be picked up and carried now and then, and both of them still curl their little warm hands into my palm when we walk along, I know that they are growing up faster than I can process and that I must remember every tiny detail. Perfectly round tummies sticking out of the gap between outgrown pyjama tops and bottoms, messy, sweaty night-hair, tiny arms that seem as fragile as bird bones when you rub them with sunscreen, mispronounced words (favourite of the week is Trinoceros, which I personally think is an excellent replacement for Triceratops), the instantly-recognisable little call of “Mummy? Mummy?” from up the stairs, the spilt drinks and dropped food, the theme tune to World Kitchen on CBeebies (every day at noon on lockdown, the soundtrack to our luncheons), the very particular bedtime routines…

Continuing Exhaustion. My final defining characteristic of this particular life era: ongoing, relentless exhaustion. Sometimes I try to look back on the baby years and work out whether they were blissfully relaxing in comparison, or horrendously tiring. Maybe as things get easier, and you get more sleep, you become spoilt and you think you’re more tired, but on the other hand, babies are pretty low-maintenance in comparison to small children. You feed them, you change their nappies, you (eventually) get them to sleep, but for the majority of the day you can manage to do stuff like make a cup of tea, fold some laundry, write a few emails, and you can do it all whilst the baby stares at a shadow on the wall and catches invisible butterflies and drools on itself. Not possible with kids. Maybe things change, but at the moment, 5+3, there’s a window of approximately eight minutes when they will quietly and enjoyably play and then all hell breaks loose. And if hell isn’t breaking loose then someone is asking a question, repeatedly, with exactly the same intonation and rhythm, over and over again until someone answers, and quite often it’s not even a question it’s just a statement phrased like a question, which is irritating and incorrect at the best of times but when it’s on robotic repeat for over thirty seconds it’s easy just to absolutely lose your mind:

“Mummy he put lego in my ear? Mummy? He put lego in my ear? Mummy he put lego in my ear? Mummy? Mummy he put lego in my ear?”

But then in the quiet moments, you miss that incessant background noise, it’s as though all of the life has been sucked out of the room. The sound of a dripping tap is suddenly mournful, rain upon the window panes just feels a bit empty. You sip on your tea/read your paper/pick dirt from under your nails with a butter knife/insert any other enjoyable activity, and the silence is almost deafening. And you think to yourself, ah, isn’t it lovely to have a house filled with kids’ noises, and then one of them comes in and clangs a metal spoon along the radiator and you almost self-combust with the ferocity of your conflicted emotions.

I’ll leave you on that deep and uncharacteristically profound note. Oh and here’s the poem:

The Last Time (author unknown)

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms you will never be the same

You might long for the person you were before When you had freedom and time And nothing in particular to worry about

You will know tiredness like you never knew it before Days will run into days that are exactly the same Full of feedings and burping Nappy changes and crying Whining and fighting Naps or a lack of naps It might seem like a never-ending cycle

But don’t forget…

There is a last time for everything There will come a time when you will feed your baby for the very last time They will fall asleep on you after a long day And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child

One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down And never pick them up that way again You will scrub their hair in the bath for one last time And from that day on they will want to bathe alone

They will hold your hand to cross the road Then will never reach for it again They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles And it will be the last night you ever wake to this

One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus” and do all the actions Then never sing them that song again

They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone

You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time Until there are no more times. And even then, it will take you a while to realize.

So while you are living in these times, remember there are only so many of them and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them. For one last time.

The post Life Update: The Squashing Fetish appeared first on A Model Recommends.

©2020 " Life Update: The Squashing Fetish published first on https://medium.com/@SkinAlley

[anneedmonds]

Life Update: The Lullaby Master

It’s life update time again, and rather than bore you with all of the tantrums and CIA-level negotiation we’ve been having to do around here, with our three and a four year old, I thought we could talk about bedtime routines and (more specifically) some of the crazy things I’ve done to get the kids to bed over the years.

Because the other day I suddenly realised that I’d almost forgotten the first little baby bedtime routines. The ones that we started right in the beginning. Those halcyon days when you could just plonk them in the cot and they couldn’t get out. Bliss! Now the routines are more like challenges on Crystal Maze; “can YOU get your three year old boy into his racing car bed without cracking a dent into one of your shins and saying F*CK F*CK B*GGER at the top of your voice whilst managing to give him a drink of fresh water and not allow it to spill which would mean changing his duvet? Work it out, release the crystal and I’ll stand here outside the bedroom door tootling away on my flute.”

I’m not saying that the baby days were easier – the crackling of the baby monitor, half an hour after you thought they were asleep! The feeling of utter weariness at having your three hour window of “me time” interrupted again! – it’s just that bedtimes now are so much more demanding. I’m like a court jester crossed with a minimum security prison officer. I love it and treasure the moments, because I know that in the blink of an eye they’ll be teens and I’ll be barred from even entering their rooms, but my God is bedtime intense!

I’ve nearly always done my daughter’s bedtime, mainly because my son, who is eighteen months younger, never used to go to sleep until he had breastfed from me for hours on end, and so when he was about ten months old Mr AMR started to give him a bottle to make things easier. We then inevitably ended up splitting off into our separate teams in the evening – one child each, and each of us with our own little bedtime quirks and (probably inadvisable) habits.

We’re very lucky in that – mostly – both of us are around for bedtime and so we’ve kept up this “girls’ team / boys’ team” sort of split. Trying to put two young children to bed on your own is chaotic and soul-destroying in equal measures, like herding cats, and I absolutely doff my cap to anyone who does it on a regular basis. Or all the time.

But let’s rewind back to the first proper bedtime era that’s still reasonably fresh in my memory: we can call it the Robot Head Cinema Era. I had bought the kids an Early Learning Centre plastic robot that was large enough to house a moon buggy (toy, not real one) and spacemen figurines. I worked out that if I opened up the doors on its head, the resulting space was exactly the right width for gripping my iPhone horizontally.

And so I used to fire up iPlayer, select a trippy programme called In The Night Garden (if you don’t know what this is then I recommend a viewing for research purposes, but only if you’re not taking mind-altering drugs. It would be enough to send you permanently bonkers) and we would watch baby TV from inside a plastic robot’s cranium.

Total madness, really. I would sit there hunched over, watching along with her (I have no idea why we did this on the world’s smallest screen when we had a huge telly directly beneath us, and a comfy sofa, and a roaring fire, etc etc) and I would feel my neck begin to slowly fuse to my shoulders and my lower back go into spasm, but I was always too tired to shift position.

Then there was the “rap song nursery rhyme” phase. I have no idea why I started this, and it’s the sort of thing that really you should take to your grave, not write about to hundreds of thousands of people, but anyway: I used to do this very bad “beat box” thing and then rap out a version of Little Miss Muffet.

Don’t even ask me to do a rendition, it is never happening and so it’s pointless going there. (I can tell you though that after the “whey” I did do a very funky “hey, hey-hey-hey!” I also did a vague form of twerking when the spider “sat down beside her”.)

The rap rhymes started off a new phase, what is now known as “doing the lullaby”, and we’re still going strong a couple of years down the line. Ah, that’s sweet! you might think, especially as my daughter is going to be five in the summer. But no. It’s not sweet. It’s a magnificent feat of poetic improvisation, that’s what it is. Because not only do I have to make up a new song ON THE SPOT every night, the song also has to rhyme and it also has to be relevant to the chapter of the book we’ve just read.

So, for example, we did a great lullaby about George’s Marvellous Medicine and the horrid grandma, although admittedly I did completely crib the tune (and some of the words) from the CBeebies Christmas panto. (Sniff-Sniff, Delicious Children!)

I sang about Grandma’s puckered mouth looking like a dog’s bottom and her face being as hairy as a mole, except that I had to make “bottom” rhyme with “mole” so ended up saying “bottomhole”, which isn’t ideal.

But it’s actually a very good brain workout, making up rhyming songs with no notice. Firstly you have to think of a tune (usually I nick one from an advert or popular song du jour) and then you have to – completely on the hoof mind! – come up with some lyrics.

And it’s not like Baby 1 is a particularly easy customer – she frowns at anything resembling a half-rhyme and definitely picks up on nonsense words that I’ve just thrown in because I’ve gone into panic mode.

George stirred his pot all day and night

Grandma was really in for a fright! 

He stirred it with his wooden spoon 

And even put in some of the moon…

“Mummy what? How did he put in some of the moon? Are you sure he did that?”

Anyway, it’s fun and I wanted to write it down because one day she won’t want the lullaby, she’ll say “ugh, you’re so embarrassing, get OUT OF MY ROOM!” and my heart hurts to think of that so I want proof that it happened.

Mind you, some nights I am totally not up for composing what amounts to an eighth of a low-budget West End musical on the spot. Especially if the chapter we’ve read, the chapter that must (it’s the rules) provide the inspiration and bulk of the content, doesn’t quite lend itself to a lullaby.

Last night I read the bit in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory where Grandpa Jo uses his last pennies to buy a chocolate bar for Charlie, in the vain hope that there might be a golden ticket inside. It’s called Chapter 10: The Family Begins To Starve.

Not so jolly.

“Do a lullaby about the chapter, Mummy!”

“Why don’t we do yesterday’s chapter, about Charlie’s walk to school and the smell of the chocolate? Sniff-Sniff, Delicious Chocolate?”

“No, it has to be about the old people in the bed and the cabbage soup and the snow. And don’t sing it in the Oompa Loompa tune again!”

Last night’s lullaby tested my artistic talents to the max, I can tell you. I’m the flipping lullaby master. I know you’re desperate to hear some of these lullabies, but again: not going to happen. Satisfy yourselves with the knowledge that I sang about cabbage soup to the tune of a Les Mis hit and managed to rhyme “cabbage” with “baggage”. That has to be enough.

The current nighttime routine doesn’t end with the lullaby however; I then go into Baby 2’s room, negotiate his floor, which should be called “The Torture Garden” because you can’t go two steps without spearing your foot on the upright plastic ladder of a toy fire engine, or the spines of a toy Stegosaurus, and I have to sing him a lullaby.

He only likes two tunes: the first is Soldier Soldier (won’t you marry me with your musket fife and drum? Oh no sweet maid I cannot marry you for I have no [insert item of clothing] to put on) 

and the second is Five Little Ducks (went swimming one day, over the hills and far away. Mummy duck said “quack quack quack” but only four little ducks came swimming back).

With both songs, I have to think of more and more outlandish versions to keep him satisfied. In terms of the soldier’s clothing, we have moved on from actual items (pants, socks, a gaberdine) to abstract ideas (sadness, time, reluctance); last night the solider had “no happiness to put on” and had to get himself a “loud thunder” from the grandfather’s chest.

In the “five ducks” song, the ducks have become dinosaurs. Which would be find, except that they don’t quack, which totally bollocks up my rhyming pattern. I can’t work like this. The pressure is too immense. Especially now that “five little dinosaurs” have become “five big stegosauruses” and they stomp instead of swim, roar instead of quack. I should be paid for this level of superhuman lullaby effort.

Anyway, I’m sure this is boring you to absolute tears, so I leave you with the comforting fact that the bedtime routine, including fetching dolly from two floors down, then coming back up and going back down to fetch Calpol, then coming back up and going back down to find Batman, Bumblebee transformer and Heat Wave transformer, then going to the bathroom to collect fresh water – cold tap run for forty-five seconds to ensure suitably icy temperature – and then supervising various toilet trips and so on, consumes approximately 2,300kcal, which means that the many chocolate-based “evening snacks” I subsequently devour are completely A-OK and justified.

What’s your bedtime routine? Kids, no kids, dogs, no dogs; I need to know any weird, over-indulging stuff you do. If it involves a robot’s head, all the better.

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©2020 " Life Update: The Lullaby Master published first on https://medium.com/@SkinAlley