#Can my parrot eat chips?

[anarchy-and-piglins]

Random bird facts! (Mostly about birds from my country cause that's all I really know but they're really weird birds here so you get some neat facts!) . My country's airforce mascot is the Kiwi bird. A very well known, FLIGHTLESS bird. Which I will never not find funny. . When we were trying (and failing) to do a flag design referendum, one of the actual flags proposed was a clip art and ms paint rendition of a Kiwi bird with laser beams being shot out of its eyes. Sadly, that option did not make it to the final voting stage. But it got close. . Kiwi birds lay a single egg that is roughly about 2/3rds of its total body mass. The thing is MASSIVE for it's size! How it doesn't kill the bird is still a mystery. . Kiwi bird feathers are very similar to fur, they have WHISKERS, they take up the same evolutionary niche of most rodents, and their nostrils are at the tip of their beak rather than the base like most other birds. The point of the nostrils being there is to help them sniff out little grubs and fruits in the leaf litter on the forest floor, but it also has proven useful during floods as they will simply flip their beak up like a snorkle and bob their way to dry ground. They're not great at swimming but they are great at floating. . Kiwi birds are nocturnal and watching them play on trail cams and nightvision cams is incredibly entertaining, they are so goofy, highly recommend. . Most of my country's birds are flightless as the islands they live on were mostly predator free until the introduction of humans. Due to the isolation, they all ended up evolving to take up a lot of evolutionary niches that would normally be filled by other animals. We have birds that are very similar to rodents and we used to have bird that took up the grazing/hunting niche that looked like massive ostriches called Moas, they most likely hunted smaller birds and grazed on ferns and grasses, and the only thing that dared to hunt them before humans was a giant fuck off eagle that was known as the largest eagle in earth's history called the Haast eagle. Sadly they both went extinct but we still have viable dna stored in labs so....could possibly bring them back? Maybe? Not sure if that's a good idea as they probably wouldn't do well with humans.

. We have the world's only alpine parrot! The Kea! They're our equivalent to crows as they are just as intelligent, but like if a crow had a knife and knew how to use it cause Keas have massive beaks and no fear of humans and have been recorded tearing open CARS to get inside because they saw something they wanted. Tourists are often told to NOT feed the Keas and keep all shiny objects and food hidden in the trunk of the car so the Keas won't see it through the windshield because they CAN and WILL destroy your car/purse/vehicle/bags/etc... to get what they want. They are not actively malicious btw, they're just like toddlers with inhuman strength and no sense of boundaries. They're very curious and playful, again they're very similar to crows and ravens, and they love playing in the snow! . We also have Kaka's, the Keas slightly more shy and better behaved cousin. Only slightly though. I got bit by one who saw I hid a bag of chips in my backpack and it landed on me to try and undo the sipper on it so I wrapped my arms around the bag to hold it shut and it literally looked at me and slowly pinched my arm with it's beak while staring at me like "open the bag, OPEN THE BAG! I want treats!!! How dare!" Didn't break skin but still, little guy was basically threatening to eat me if I didn't give my chips.

. Kakapo are our super endangered flightless parrots that look like fuzzy green melons I swear. There's been attempts to try and get them repopulated but unfortunately, unlike the Kea and Kaka, Kakapo are very....stupid when it comes to reproducing and I will not say more.

. We have giant fucking pigeons called Kereru and they are notoriously bad at flying to the point there are warning signs on roads near where they live that warn drivers of them potentially falling out of the sky.

. The majority of our birds are named after Pokemon naming conventions! As in Pokemon are named after the sound they make, and our birds are too! If you listen to their songs or the sounds they make (such as with the Kereru, it's mostly quiet but it has a whistle feather that makes a sound when it flies which is the sound it's named for) they sound very similar to their names! I think it's cool!

. We have burrowing penguins.

OH THESE ARE WONDERFUL!

I actually knew quite a bit about the Kiwi bird because I did a presentation on them in middle school for some reason (we all had to pick an animal and I was a weird kid I guess) but I love the bird facts :D thank you!

[auntie-birdie]

Since you know a lot about birds, I wanted to ask you this. Is it okay to share my own food with my parrot? Whenever I eat she gets really curious and tries to take a bite out of my food. Is there food I absolutely should not give her under any circumstances? Is it okay to give her things with cheese on them?

This is a tricky question because there's the Right answer and there's the Reality answer.

The Right answer is that your parrot should only eat what they'd eat in the wild, and pellets because it's difficult to actually provide the right balance of vitamins and minerals in captivity.

The Reality answer is that they're going to get their beaks on everything. And you're going to be tempted to share with them. And it's okay to do so in moderation.

For example, Mango freaking loves potato chips. She hears anything that remotely sounds like a potato chip bag crinkling and she loses her mind. The joy she gets from the occasional potato chip is immeasurable. I'd say she gets a potato chip once every few weeks, and she CHERISHES it. She eats it slowly, savors every little bite, even closes her eyes to (in my mind) devote all of her senses to enjoying it.

Is it good for her? Nope. Is she going to get one sometimes? Yup.

There are some things to avoid at all costs, especially including but NOT limited to chocolate. There is a lot of alarm around chocolate and for good reason! Cacao is bad for everyone, including us, in large enough doses. I will, however, admit that Mango has had an M&M before. Since it's milk chocolate, it wasn't cause for alarm—the cacao content is pretty low in a single M&M—so I didn't take it away from her. And oh boy, did she think that M&M was the greatest thing she'd ever had.

Some other no-nos would be anything with caffeine, because their hearts are already working at a high level. I've also read that onions and garlic are toxic, and I avoid them just to be safe.

Since you called it out specifically, for the record, cheese and other dairy products are going to risk giving them diarrhea because they can't process lactose. It's not going to kill your bird to have a bite of something with cheese on it! You just want to make sure she doesn't have too much.

Now, if you want to provide some fun "people" food, warm noodles are always a big hit. Birds have a poor sense of taste because they use their beak for everything, so tasting everything would be pretty awful. What they love is TEXTURE. Unflavored/unseasoned/plain rice cakes can also be a fun treat!

[canonloveinterest]

Poetry, Roses, & Chocolate ~ rebeccaselfships

Hi Rebecca! Thank you for the ask! Hope you're having a good night.

Poetry: How do your F/Os express their love for you?

I get really embarrassed and am made uncomfortable by overly sappy verbal affection or big displays or whatever, so basically anything that isn't that is pretty fair game. I like it when people leave little notes about what they're thinking about throughout the day and other small gestures. also physical closeness, squish my soul back into my body, please thank you

Roses: What kind of gifts do you give your F/O (and vice versa)?

I tend to like giving things that are handmade or are something I found that I thought was interesting looking. Art or jewelry that I made are my favorite go-tos for handmade, especially if they're subtle and don't scream THIS WAS MADE BY SOMEONE WITH ROMANTIC SENTIMENTS TOWARD YOU. A physical mixtape/mix cd here and there are really good too.

I don't have a preference for where a gift I receive comes from really, I would just prefer it be something that isn't very flashy, can be put to use, or is sentimental/handmade/a found object. Basically if you think a parrot or perhaps a magpie would be pleased with something, that's a solid start.

Chocolate: Do either you or you or your F/O like chocolate or any kind of sweets?

I like to pretend I have a somewhat refined palate but I really really enjoy and eat a little too much candy, cookies, chocolate, cakes, breads, certain kinds of pies, you get the idea.

My FOs don't hate them, it's just that II's tastes skew more expensive and lavish, Jason doesn't get many chances to snack on candy, and Steve just snacks on chips and red vines here and there.

[beetlejuicesgraveyardrevue]

For the “weirdly specific and unrelated asks to know someone well” (I sort of asked a lot so feel free to ignore some lol)

4- mythical creature you think/believe is real?

6- do you use a watch?

7- what animal do you look forward to seeing when you visit an aquarium?

16- thoughts on mint chocolate chip?

30- favorite dnd class?

30- (this was sort of asked with question 4 but-) any folklore you believe in?

oh shit I totally missed this in my inbox! thank you for asking!!

4. My great aunt lived in the Ocala national forest when I was growing up and told me two very convincing stories of her encounter with a UFO landing on a pitch black dirt road directly in front of her truck and her seeing a skunk ape (Florida version of sasquatch) in her yard. So... yeah I know she wasn't lying but I also can't say if it's Real you know. I want to believe.

6. I used to when I worked day shifts and had to keep track of time for anesthesia monitoring but now I work overnights and don't really need one, I just check my phone.

7. All of them to be honest!! I always love any kind of shark, parrot fish, sturgeons, any kind of ray, and any kind of eel!

16. Tasty but I can't eat it anymore because of my nickel allergy (no chocolate, very sad)

30. Cleric

30. Hmm... not that I can think of but I am fascinated by it! Again I very much am in the camp of I Want To Believe but I really don't believe in much. Or rather, I think for the most part I will never truly Know.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #216

What is the last song that you had on repeat? Uh I feel like it was "Blind and Frozen" by Beast In Black.

Do you believe that one day the sun will burn out? ... No shit? This is scientific fact? Like it's not gonna happen in my lifetime, but it WILL happen.

What’s your homepage when you bring up the internet? Just Google.

Have you ever cracked your phone screen before? I haven't, actually.

Do you like Train’s music? I do. They write some of my all-time favorite love songs.

Have you ever seen the movie High School Musical? Yes. My younger sister (who I shared a room with) was particularly obsessed with it.

Are you excited to pick out your wedding dress one day? I am, but I'm also not looking forward to trying multiple on and possibly being picky. I can't imagine myself being one of those people that tries on dozens and dozens, though.

Does it bother you when an artist remake a song that one has previously done? Not at all. I like plenty of covers, especially if I enjoy the original song.

How many times have you had sex within the past two years? Guesstimate? Actual sex, zero. For reasons that are sometimes very hard to deal with.

Can people read your facial expressions easily? If so, why is this? Yes, because I'm very bad at hiding my feelings on my face.

When was the last time your area had a tornado warning, if ever? I can't remember. We get plenty of tornado watches this time of year, but warnings are rarer.

Does it scare you when the sky gets really cloudy and dark during the day? Yes, because I'm terrified of the potential of tornadoes. Thunderstorms themselves don't scare me, it's just the fact that they can spawn tornadoes.

Have you ever ran from the police? No.

Have you ever watched The Walking Dead? I haven't.

Do you like horses? I do.

Snakes? I love snakes.

Cats? I sure do.

Have you ever driven an electric car? No.

Have you ever eaten moussaka? I don't even know what that is.

What breed was the last dog you saw? Chihuahua.

Do you ever fact-check the things you read on the internet? Not everything, I don't regularly care enough about what I might randomly read, but especially if it's a topic I'm invested in, I certainly will.

Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder? No.

What was the last caffeinated drink you had? Mountain Dew.

With a fried egg, do you prefer the yolk runny or set? I won't eat a fried egg because I cannot stand yolk like that.

Have you ever planned a wedding? Not really. I mean sure, I have plans for my own, but we're definitely not at the "real" planning stage yet.

Do you have any pimples right now? No.

Have you ever painted a rock? I don't think so.

Do you ever shop at Aldi? Do you even have one nearby? There's one very near here, and Mom goes there rarely. She loves the prices there compared to elsewhere, Walmart is just easier for us.

What are some of your favourite snacks? Right now I'm in an insane pickle episode. In general though, I love chips, or Cheez-its. Small candies that come in packages like peach rings or Skittles I also like a lot. We don't tend to keep snacks like that in the house though, so I'm more likely to have something like a cashew bar or Special K blueberry snack bar... thingy.

What has been the best thing to happen to you in the past year? Honestly, becoming more aware of and better understanding my autism. I've come to accept myself much more, instead of just thinking I'm fucking weird with stupid quirks that could never make sense to anyone else. I still want an official diagnosis, but I firmly believe I don't need it, at least for myself.

Are you prone to jealousy? Nope. It's happened, but I definitely don't experience it much.

How did you get through the lowest point in your life? Look, to be totally real with you, I was too afraid to actually kill myself. I had no other choice but to just ride it out.

Have you ever been someone's first love? I suppose possibly Sara, but idk. She dated people before me, but I don't remember her ever mentioning truly loving somebody.

How old were you when you got your first gaming console, and what kind was it? The OG PlayStation. Idk how old I was, I think we had it when I was born.

What is your favorite food to put gravy on? I hate gravy.

Do you know anyone from Canada? Yes.

What's your opinion on astrology? It's dumb as hell and for insanely gullible people that generally don't want to take responsibility for their own flaws.

Do you use TikTok? No.

Do you ever get super bad buzzing in your ears? Not really, no. I've had rare instances of minor ringing, but nothing severe, for which I'm very thankful.

Do you know anyone who has actually been in an alcohol or drug-related crash? I do. She lost her best friend, who was in the car with her, because of it. They were both high, or possibly drunk, one or the other. It took years upon years upon years until she seemed okay again.

Did you celebrate Father's Day? No. I sent him a message and was happy to hear he hadn't touched a cigarette in two days, but that was all. We've usually gone out to lunch, but my sisters never mentioned it this year.

Do you hate how being bisexual is like a trend? It's not a trend, shut the fuck up.

Have you ever gotten a professional massage? No, this would be insanely uncomfortable for me.

Do you have a good relationship with your first love? We don't have a relationship, period.

What is something you’re currently nervous about? This weekend. I'm going to my first Pride event ever but it's supposed to be scorchingly hot and I have hyperhidrosis.

Are you dealing with any health-related problems right now? I always am.

Are you experiencing problems within a current relationship? No.

Do you find that caffeinated or alcoholic drinks make you pee more than normal? Water makes me pee more than anything else. I don't drink alcohol enough to have noticed for that, but there are sometimes where if I drink a soda, I have to go to the bathroom pretty quickly.

Do you still enjoy watching Disney movies? I sure do.

What are some interests you have in common with your parents? My mom likes writing, even if she doesn't really do it. When she was younger, she also enjoyed drawing, but that's another thing she doesn't do anymore. I *enjoy* fishing like my dad, even though I don't think fishing for fun is moral.

How old were you when your parents trusted you to stay home alone all day? I don't remember.

Do you drink more or less water than is recommended? Technically still less, I'm sure. I think the very vast majority of people don't drink the amount that is technically advised.

Do you go on vacation with your family a lot? Where was the last place you went? We never go on vacations. At least, Mom doesn't, and I live with/under her. We can't afford to.

What do your parents think about piercings and tattoos? Do you agree with them? My mom doesn't care. She doesn't LIKE all piercings or tattoos, but she has nothing against them in general. I'm like my mom in that respect, but I'm even more open and accepting of them. My dad doesn't seem too bothered by piercings, he was never against me getting any, but he was shocked and nervous when he found out about me getting a tattoo. Mine don't seem to bother him though.

What are your religious beliefs? Are these the same as your parents’? I am an atheist, but sometimes with some agnostic-leaning wonderings. Both my parents are Christians, which I am definitely not.

Do you remember The Land Before Time movies? Who was your favorite character? I do, but I think I only saw the first two, maybe three. I know I loved them, though. I don't remember my favorite character as a child, maybe Littlefoot.

What’s your favorite genre of book to read? Animal fantasy.

Are you one of those people who texts back instantly? Almost always.

What’s your favourite place to get pizza from? Domino's.

Think of the last verbal argument you were in; what caused it? My mom having main character in life syndrome and refusing to even entertain the possibility of her ever, ever being wrong. I had to blow the fuck up to Girt, she and I have butted heads a lot lately and I finally snapped in half. I hadn't been that angry in god knows how long.

Does your refrigerator have one door or two? Two, side-by-side. Left is the freezer, right is the fridge.

Do you smoosh bugs, or just let ‘em go? I tend to ignore them, but if it's a spider, I will try to take it outside so Mom doesn't kill it. I never kill bugs, unless it's like, an ant in the house. Absolutely never, ever outside.

Would you ever kiss someone with facial hair? I've done this plenty and would keep doing it. Sometimes Girt has stubble anyway and it doesn't bother me at all.

Have you ever drooled in public? I feel like I have a little bit at least once while sleeping in the college library.

Have you ever been bitten by a dog? No.

Would you ever shave your head? No, not me personally. Female-presenting individuals can look amazing with no (or very little) hair, but it's definitely not for me.

Would you ever meet someone you met online? I've done this before and want to meet at least Mazzy and Tez. Shaz would be amazing, too, as well as Sam and his wife.

Where do you wanna live when you grow up? The more mountainous area of NC. Blue Ridge Mountains would be the absolute dream.

Would you get married if you could right now? I'd get engaged. I'd like to lose weight before my wedding... but by now idk if it's ever gonna fuckin' happen.

What color are your eyes? Grayish blue.

Who was your first good kiss with? Jason was my first kiss and he was perfectly fine at kissing.

Would you kiss this person again? If I actually loved him again, yes, but I will never let myself have that kind of relationship with him ever again.

Who was your hottest bf/gf besides the one you have now? Jason.

How often do you drink water? A lot a day, I don't actually track it.

Name something that is on your bedroom wall? Above my bed and framing some plant art I have up is a branching string of circular lights that's meant to look like a vine or something. I only really turn the lights on if I'm reading in bed, but it's super cozy.

If you could paint your walls any color what would it be? Because I'm going for a nature theme in there right now, I'd probably go for a light green.

What are you drinking right now? Raspberry lemonade-flavored water.

What does your phone case look like? I don't have a case. I'd like one, but that's not something I can just casually afford to buy and it's certainly not important enough to be on my gift wishlist.

What do you take the most pictures of? My cat, lol.

If you could be a professional in any sport what would it be? Dance.

When was the last time you made dinner? Tonight; Mom was too tired to cook. I just put popcorn shrimp in the air fryer.

Who do you want to be buried next to? I'd prefer to be cremated and have my ashes spread than be buried.

Do you have any hickeys on you? No.

Who did you last share a bed with? Girt.

Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? As of this year, yes.

What are you listening to right now? I'm watching some of John Wolfe's Baldur's Gate 3 LP. I'm not very far from being done, I just ventured into watching other stuff for a while.

Do you get blizzards where you live? No.

What’s something you prefer to keep private? Sexual information/past.

What was your favorite book you had to read for school? The Handmaid's Tale.

Has anyone ever called you a sociopath before? No.

Have you ever saved someone’s life? She says so, but more than anything it was me coincidentally sending a message at the right time.

[ear-worthy]

6 Degrees Of Cats Podcast Launches Season Two: Witches, Whiskers & Whisky

Did you know that 29 percent of all households in the U.S. owned at least one cat? That is a potentially large audience for a cat podcast. 

 I understand that if you are a "dog" person you may not care. Or if you're fascinated by coy ponds or parrots, a cat podcast may not catch your interest.

 On Halloween, cats occupy an important mythological significance for this holiday. It is particularly appropriate, then, that I offer you 6 Degrees of Cats. The podcast bills itself as "the world's #1 (and only) cat-themed culture, history and science podcast."

Thankfully, for listeners, the show lives up to its boast.

The podcast launched in Spring 2023 and has returned this Fall on October 31 with its season debut episode, "Witches, Whiskers and Whisky: Re-introducing the Original Cat Lady of Halloween!"

This episode showcases an impressive panel of expert guests, including Dr. Megan Goodwin, host of hit religion and history podcast “Keeping It 101”; culinary historian and author of “Endangered Eating” Sarah Lohman; and Kings County Distillery founder and writer Colin Spoelman. 

Listeners have described 6 Degrees of Cats as "educational, thought-provoking, meditative AND fun" and praise host Amanda B.'s hosting as "...not only informative but highly engaging and entertaining". Tink Media's Lauren Passell named “6 Degrees of Cat” as a "...well-written and researched cat show…” and host Amanda B. as “...spunky and and playful with audio."

In this second season,"6 Degrees of Cats" will offer listeners an international lineup of leading voices in fields such as animal welfare, music, history, religion, and even pizza. Notable guests this season include “My Cat From Hell” star Jackson Galaxy, global rock sensation Malina Moye, Islam scholar andHead on History podcast host Ali Olomi, and founding pizza czar Anthony Falco.

Throughout the nine-episode season, new episodes will be released biweekly on all major podcast platforms and YouTube. There is a companion newsletter, "The Captain’s Log," for exclusive bonus content and opportunities, and listeners can subscribe.

6 Degrees of Cats has a lot of things going for it as an ear-worthy podcast. First, it's not a "cat lady" podcast where cat lovers, mostly women, tell super-cute stories about their cat Mittens. The show looks at cats in history, mythology, and culture. For example, I loved the April 25th episode about Vikings and cats. Norse folklore expert Terry Gunnell will fascinate listeners with his tales of cats and the Viking culture. 

Second, the podcast has an infectious intro music "Josie & The Pussycats" beat, and the show manipulates sound with purpose and to great effect. I personally commend any podcast that fully uses its greatest asset -- sound. Third, the host, "Captain Kitty" aka Amanda B. is terrific. She's smart, funny, informative, and has endless energy. Amanda B is a Korean American transracial adoptee based in Brooklyn, New York. She was selected into a cohort of 10 out of 18,000 applicants to go through Spotify's first Sound Up podcast accelerator for women and non-binary podcasters of color in 2018. As a musician, she has supported international performing artist Peaches onstage for The Samantha Bee Show’s 2017 Not the White House Correspondents Dinner broadcast, and recently released a sophomore full-length album with her rock ‘n’ roll bandLeathered. Amanda B consults for clients including The Podcast Academy to produce and facilitate community and professional development programs, and volunteers forOkaySo, a free mental health app for young people.   

I am a self-confessed cat person. I have two cats, Moogie, an extroverted cream-colored barn cat, and Tinker Bell, a Calico who chips like a "tortie." They both listen with me and give it four paws up.

What I like most about 6 Degrees of Cats is its scholarly intentions toward cats, the hosting skill of Amanda B, and the catchy friskiness of its audio.

[fuzzy-oooze]

As someone who's into poisonous plants, Riders Of Berk season 1 episode 9 makes me ANGRY. Like... Mildew, you dumb shit, oleander is poisonous to EVERYTHING. (But that kinda makes sense considering the plot twist in season 8.) HOWEVER. Oleander is a CARDIAC GLYCOSIDE. It affects the HEART, sneezing is NOT A SYMPTOM. and, though I've never gotten close to an oleander plant, I don't think the toxins can affect you from the distances seen in the show. We see a terrible terror dragon eat some (the smol boi would be dead in minutes) but the other dragons aren't shown to ingest any. Oleandrin is one of the deadliest poisons known to man, and portraying it as an allergy and only affecting reptiles SERIOUSLY DOWNPLAYS THE SEVERITY OF THIS PLANT. It's worse than digitoxin, and I have to prune my foxglove with a pair of tongs!

TL;DR Mildew deserved to have his ass bit by a Scauldron but not just for the reasons portrayed in the episode.

took be awhile to realize what this was about but I agree. it's like when they almost made minecraft parrots tamable via chocolate chip cookies, luckily they realized the problem and solved it before it could impact anything since they don't want their mostly child fanbase to poison their pets.

[david-watts]

hi hi! list five things that make you happy, then put this is the askbox of the last ten people who reblogged something from you! spread the happiness and positivity! <3

oooh ok hi! I haven't done one of these in what feels like ages

having my own room like it's nowhere near done and all my stuff's in boxes and there's still 200kg+ of paper still in here that I am terrified of and I know I have to move probably tomorrow and everyone keeps forgetting the very specific room arrangement that has to go on because of the room and the furniture and all that but. I don't have to put up with snoring anymore

drawing because well. it's one of my earliest loves. I still vividly remember when my cousin was drawing a parrot and we were at my great-grandmother's place eating chinese takeaway and then and there I decided that I was gonna be good at art too

old things! I have this ugly chocolate brown little jug I got from the op shop the other day because my m*ther was looking at blinds in a shop I don't want to set foot in for very weird reasons and I love it. I have pens in it. I'm gonna keep paintbrushes in an old juice tin. I'm gonna use an old hymn board as a noticeboard for myself. hell the newest bit of furniture in my room will be from the 1970s (my desk, built by my m*ther and grandpa) and my bed is at least 109 years old and had at least one person die in it. not to mention my... apparently now extensive record collection (considering I've been collecting for five years and my dad has specifically given me money to buy records before... yeah. I've been moving them and I understand why that one guy said they were a pain in the ass to)

my soups... ok I can't really call them 'my' soups because they're packet soup kits that I just do my own spin with (aka adding so many mushrooms. and too much meat but my god the amount of mushrooms I use lol) but they're so good they give me so much will to live and agh! I genuinely can't wait for the march and june long weekends (well I hope the june one still happens. it's been a staple for so long and I look forward to it as an anchor point) so I can make those soups up and spend some time eating that and chips and watching the things I always do at that time of year. on a similar note, I really want to get sushi from the very expensive place in town but I can't afford to :/

mademoiselle dog... I love her. she's been coming in for cuddles now (probably because she loves my rug and I don't blame her it's such a nice texture) and my god she's so wonderful

thanks for asking!! finding actual happiness and/or joy in things lately has been. uh. tough. for multiple reasons outside of having episodes (in both types too, since I've mostly been angrier instead of overly happy) but y'know. if I can find five things it can't be that bad

[lovelybarnes]

dad- l. laufeyson

pairings: loki laufeyson x doctor!mom!reader, mentions of tony stark, natasha romanoff, steve rogers, oc, and thor odinson warnings: a child, y/n is a mom, dad!loki who is probably a little ooc but i hope that’s okay, y/n is a doctor but there’s no real detail, it’s just alluded to, mentions of an absent father, mentions of adoption about: requested! They’re dating and she has a toddler from a previous relationship that ended badly. Loki treats the baby like she’s his own and brings her to the compound once in a while to show off ‘his’ baby. The little one adores Loki and started calling him dada, making the soft side of him comes out. And also the very protective side. He eventually asks reader if he can officially adopt her to be the father figure. Since reader never put down the fathers name on the birth certificate, they put Loki’s down. a/n: thank you so much for requesting! i hope you liked this!!

tiny fingers splayed your cheeks wake you up, wet lips pressing continuously on your nose as familiar laughter rings in your ear. your nose scrunches, prying your eyes open to meet the mirror image of them in front of you. at the grin that splits daisy’s face, a smile sneaks up on your lips, too, “hey honey,” you say quietly, brushing away a strand of hair that falls in her eyes as your daughter’s warm hands hold your face.

“hi mama,” daisy replies, snuggling into your side, “pancake day,” she informs happily, a chubby finger reaching to trace the slope of your nose.

you tilt your head at her, raising an eyebrow, “really? who says?”

daisy doesn’t get a chance to reply, the crack to your door widening when loki steps through it, balancing a large plate stacked with pancakes and fruits in one hand. “loki!” daisy cheers, sitting up to reach for the food. you sit up, too, cocking your head at your boyfriend as you observe the platter.

“you made food?” you ask, eyes scanning the little cubes of cut-up strawberries and bananas before looking back up at him in pleasant surprise.

loki ducks his chin, “you were asleep. and today is pancake day. i simply could not disappoint daisy,” he explains, letting daisy take a piece of banana to shove in her mouth.

you gently run your fingers through her hair, a soft smile tugging at your lips, “hey, dais, let’s go eat at the table and watch some cartoons, hm?” at the sound of cartoons, she nods quickly, bouncing off of the bed to tug at loki to follow her, the god not making a peep when her grubby hands leave a smear of banana on his wrist. you watch as they head to the kitchen, listening when loki turns on the television and flips it to her favorite show without her needing to tell him. you take a second to remind yourself that the god in your house, sneaking homemade whipped cream--because store-bought whipped cream is not fit for her--to your daughter, is the same god who, not too long ago, physically recoiled at the mere mention of midgardians. you stand when you hear daisy’s voice calling you over when you take too long to follow, peeking around the corner to see loki cutting her chocolate chip pancakes into little squares. “any left for me?” you ask, your body burning hot when loki turns to look at you, a twinkle in his clear sea glass eyes.

“good morning, darling,” he greets, his lips kissing your cheek when you come closer to him, an arm wrapping around your waist. “pancake?” he offers, showing you a plate with two perfectly shaped pancakes, whipped cream piled high just the way you liked it and berries surrounding it in the way you always tried to do but were never able to. you pecked his lips, smiling against him when you heard your daughter protest loudly.

“what are we watching today?” you ask her, fingers taming the mess of bedhead that sits atop her head. she turns to the television after shoving pancake into her mouth, pointing at the image, “clifford,” she says simply. you sit next to her, exhaling, “that’s a good one.” daisy nods, “i want a dog,” she states after a second, “like clifford.”

you glance at loki, “finding a big red dog is going to be a little hard, sweetie--”

“i’m sure there’s one in asgard, if not, there must be one somewhere else,” loki shrugs, squinting at the show, “i’ll find one. worry not.”

you shake your head, chuckling, “maybe a normal-sized dog, daisy.” daisy pouts but nods.

the sounds from the television are the only ones for a few moments until you speak up, “oh, i completely forgot, i have to go meet with some big shot hospital reps for almost the whole day today, do you mind taking care of daisy?” you ask loki, an apologetic look on your face.

“of course not, she can accompany me to the compound today,” loki reasons, not missing the excited look that crosses daisy’s face.

you brighten, “that’s a great idea!” you turn to your daughter, who has smeared red on her cheek and a strawberry in her fingers, you huff a laugh, wiping it away with one of your fingers, “what do you think, dais? wanna go visit the other avengers with loki?”

she nods immediately, hurrying to swallow the fruit in her mouth before turning to loki, “can i wear your cape again?” she asks enthusiastically, patting wildly at your arm, “loki lets me use his cape!”

your eyebrow raises as you look at loki, “does he, now? i thought no one could even touch it?” you tease, appreciating the pale blush that takes over the snow of his cheeks as he shrugs, clearing his throat.

“there are always exceptions to rules,” he states.

-

“i love you,” you say, pressing a kiss into daisy’s hair, she parrots the phrase back to you, leaning further into loki’s arms when you pull away. “i love you,” you continue, kissing loki’s lips, “thank you again,” you whisper, feeling him chuckle against you.

“it is my pleasure,” loki assures before kissing you again. you pull away after a second, smacking your lips on daisy’s forehead as another goodbye.

“i’ll be back later, have fun, okay?” you request before finally walking out the door to head to work. you don’t see daisy’s pout as she lays her head on loki’s shoulder, balling her hand in his shirt. a soft smile tugs at loki’s lips, looking down at her to ask her if she’d like to go to the compound now.

a little while after she nods at his, he finds himself clicking her seatbelt in, making sure she’s safe in her booster seat before he begins to drive. he knows he could easily go there with a flick of his hand, but the travel makes daisy nervous, and, besides, she prefers to ride in the car with him, singing along to the playlist of the songs loki found himself liking in midgard.

daisy squeals when loki pulls into the driveway of the compound, jumping out of the car when he unbuckles her to hurry loki up. she pulls at his pant leg, growing more excited by the minute when she sees the red white and blue of steve’s shield flying behind the compound. “i do not understand why you like that thing so much. so boring,” loki grumbles, grabbing her hand and opening the door.

“ah, there she is!” thor’s voice booms nearly the minute loki and daisy step in, daisy’s grin grows wide, looking back at loki before running to thor. “uncle!” she squeals, oblivious to the way loki freezes when she says the simple word. thor carries her in his arms, holding her up like simba.

“my favorite niece! i brought the hammer for you today!” thor exclaims, sitting her down on one of his arms before holding his other hand out. loki looks to the side, realizing his brother is calling for the hammer with his daughter in his arms, quickly stepping over to him to take her away just as said hammer flies into his open hand. he twirls it, before handing it to daisy in loki’s arms, still keeping a hold on it as she wraps her small fingers around the hammer.

“brother…” loki hisses quietly, refusing to upset the little girl in his arms but wanting nothing more than to knock some common sense into his brother. “i would like to remind you to not do that while daisy is near you.”

daisy barely looks up at her name, too entranced with the intricate carvings in the hammer, “oh, she’ll be fine,” thor shrugs, clapping loki hard on the back, “i am very careful, brother.”

loki purses his lips, “yes, i remember how careful you are.”

“hey! reindeer games and little grey!” tony cheers from around the corner, natasha catching his words from the kitchen and heading for loki. loki can spot the captain in the hallway. “haven’t seen you in a while, kid,” tony tells daisy, ruffling up her hair, “thought you ditched us.”

loki rolls his eyes, concentrating on daisy, who reaches for the electric blue in tony’s chest, murmuring “pretty.”

“isn’t it?” tony brags, tapping a nail on his arc reactor, “built it myself. you want one?” daisy agrees enthusiastically, but loki makes sure to send tony a glare that tells him if he even dares. loki will finish the job in new york.

“how’s the doc?” natasha asks, coming cilently from the kitchen with a bag in her hand.

“y/n is good, she’s at the hospital right now.”

“hey, dais,” natasha starts, her green eyes sparkling, “you remember the toys you wanted from the mall last time we went?” daisy nods. natasha holds up the bag in her arms, “you wanna go see what’s in the bag?”

daisy’s eyes go wide, and she turns to loki, “can i dad? please?”

loki chokes down the uncharactersitic lump in his throat so he can nod, putting daisy down so she can grab natasha’s hand. when they’re out of hearing range, steve raises an eyebrow at loki, “‘dad’? that’s a big one.”

“yes,” loki clear his throat, “she had never called me that before.”

the other men exchange looks, before thor claps loki on the back with a beamng grin, “congratulations.” loki has never felt luckier.

-

it’s a few hours later, when you’re back at home, exhausted and sprawled on the couch next to loki with daisy sleeping on your and loki’s lap. “how was your day?” you ask quietly so you don’t disturb daisy.

“as excellent as a day with the avengers can be. i took daisy to the compound, everyone adored her, natasha spoiled her…” loki trails off, the clear cut reminder of the events of that day bright and new in his mind, “she called me dad,” loki finishes, allowing himself to look into the deep nooks and crannie of his brain that urges him to tell you what he’s been thinking about for far too long. there’s a second of silence.

“she’s never said to you that before,” you finally say softly. loki shakes his head, “she’s slipped up before, though. sometimes she calls you papa when she talks about you.” loki turns to you, searching your features for a lie he won’t find. “you are her father, loki. you’re way more of a father than her biological dad ever has been. you’re her dad, she loves you.” there’s more silence, the question you’re implying hanging in the air, waiting to be grasped and asked.

“would you adopt her?--” you grasp.

“i would like to adopt daisy--” he grasps.

you stare at each other before quiet laughter bubbles from your mouth, a nod tilting your chin, “you know, i never put her biological father’s name in her birth certificate.”

“we could go tomorrow,” loki offers, admiring the beaming smile that brightens your tired face.

“we should,” you agree, staring at loki for a few more moments before connecting your lips, looking down at daisy and brushing away some strands from her face when you pull away. you nod, meeting loki’s eyes again, “tomorrow.”

[hext00ns]

E.T.L.C. (Extra Terrestrial Love and Care) {@sicktember}

AO3 l!nk in comments

Ships: Don Dogoier/Ahim de Famille/Joe Gibken/Ikari Gai/Captain Marvelous/Luka Millfy

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Description: When their resident human falls ill, the Gokaigers attempt to find a way to help.

{Sicktember 2022 Day 9: Home Remedy}

Gai was always one of the first to wake. When Don was half done with breakfast and Luka and Marvelous had finally risen from their own sleep, it was much more obvious that an excitable silver presence was missing.

When the rest of the crew sat down for breakfast and Gai still hadn’t come out a feeling of concern wafted in the air. Of course, that worry didn’t keep Marvelous from attempting to steal food off the missing ranger’s plate. Only for Ahim to slap his hand away with a calm smile.

“Maybe one of us should go see if he’s alright,” she then suggested to the obvious silent question.

As if on cue, Gai finally walked out of his room. However, there was no energy to his steps. He seemed lethargic and practically still asleep. He made a turn into the kitchen before walking back out with a bag of spicy chips.

“Gai, are you going to eat those for breakfast?” Don asked, trying and failing to hide the insult out of his voice.

The human looked up at him, already shoving a handful into his mouth. He looked down at the bag in his hands then back to his crew, the gears in his head almost visually turning on his features. “Oh!” He swallowed what he had before explaining, “My nose is stuffy.”

“Your… nose?” Ahim questioned with a tilt of her head.

Gai nodded. “The spicy makes my face open up when it’s all,” he waved his hands around before making a noise of disgust and discomfort.

“Open up?” Luka parroted in question.

“He’s sick,” Marvelous finally said around his own food. He didn’t bother to look up but the others turned to him. They then turned back to Gai.

“You’re sick?” Ahim questioned worriedly. Both she and Don got up from their chairs to approach him.

Gai waved his hands and took a step back. “Ah! Not really- well I mean… I feel a little off but- but I’m probably fine!”

The slide of the chair made everyone turn back to Marvelous. He stood with Joe and Luka quickly following suit.

Joe walked over and lifted Gai over his shoulder without another word. The other made a sound of surprise but didn’t try to move from his grip. He was more used to being lifted around by the others than he’d realized.

Don took the bag from him and looked at the chip with a curious frown. “Is this a normal remedy on earth?”

“Uhh, not really,” Gai admitted. “I used to do it a lot in school when I got sick and had stuff to do. It’s a good quick way to clear your sinuses!”

Ahim ran a hand over his cheek with a smile. “That doesn’t sound very healthy even for humans.”

“Uhh, I mean it’s not… super unhealthy,” Gai mumbled. “Potatoes and peppers are vegetables! And those are probably in them somewhere.”

“Alright,” Marvelous cut him off from continuing his futile attempt of convincing them. “You’re on sick time. Bed.”

Joe started walking towards the rooms.

“Wh-wait! But what if the Zangyack attack? Or you guys need to get a grand power!” Gai stammered out to try and convince them.

“I’m sure we can figure it out for a few days,” Luka smirked.

Once Joe had taken Gai back to his room, he laid the other down on his bed. “How sick are you?” he questioned. “Honestly.”

Gai frowned. “I’m congested and my throat kinda hurts,” he admitted.

Joe gave a hum and nodded. “They’re probably going to try and nurse you back to health.”

Gai blushed some at that. He couldn’t lie the idea of the others fretting over him like that was kinda sweet. It didn’t change the fact that he hated being stuck in bed all day.

“None of us know anything about humans, though,” Joe added. “You’ll have to make sure they don’t accidentally make it worse.” It was obviously a joke by the small smile Joe flashed him. Even if there was a small bit of truth to his words.

“Ah! Joe-san,” Gai called before the other could leave. “If you guys meet another sentai, promise to take lots of pictures and get their autograph for me!”

Joe gave another smile before nodding. “Yeah, of course.” He bent down to press a kiss to Gai’s temple before walking out with a, “feel better soon.”

---

Gai had drifted in and out of sleep for a while before he was fully roused by the sound of others in his room. The rest of the crew had found their way in as he was waking up. Joe opting to lean against the doorway behind the rest of them.

“We looked into some earth home remedy methods to try and help a fast recovery,” Ahim explained to the tired human.

Marvelous walked over to his bed and started to shove a large bag of oranges under his pillow.

“Wh-what? Wait! What are you doing?” Gai tried to stop the other. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and fully sat up in bed.

Marvelous stood and shoved the bag to his face. “Sleeping on oranges helps with being sick. Doesn’t it?”

“I- what? Where did you hear that?”

The captain shrugged. “Read it somewhere I think.”

“That sounds stupid anyways,” Luka said as she pushed past him. “Here! Suck on this.” She started shoving her hand into Gai’s face.

He pushed her hand away so he could get a good look at what she was holding only to see a live frog. “I’m not putting that in my mouth!” he shrieked.

“Why not?” Luka hissed out. “Don’t you want to get better?”

“Yes but- how is that going to help?”

“I saw it on TV,” Luka explained. “Now don’t be a coward!” She tried to shove it back into his face.

“That was a cartoon!” Gai cried. “That’s not an actual thing! Luka-san!”

Don finally stepped up and gently pulled Luka’s arm back. “I think you should take that back outside.”

Luka frowned but stepped back to stand with Marvelous. He looked at her with a raised brow. “Shut up,” she hissed. “Wasn’t like your idea was any better.” Marvelous only smirked.

“Here,” Don said to Gai, handing him a mustard bottle. “I read in a book that this clears up sinuses.”

“Oh so eating mustard is more normal than sucking on a frog,” Luka mumbled with a huff.

“Actually, you’re supposed to rub it on your chest,” Don explained.

Marvelous and Luka made matching faces of disgust.

“I think I’ve heard of that one too,” Gai mumbled.

Don beamed with pride, clearly happy he’d done something right.

“But,” Gai continued. “I don’t really want to pour mustard on myself. It is kinda gross…”

“Hah!” Luka called out, pointing the frog at Don.

“At least mine was something humans actually use,” he mumbled at her.

Ahim was the next to step forward. Gai tried not to make a face, fearful of whatever else his loving, yet clueless crew had come up with. However, he quickly noted that Ahim wasn’t holding anything. Instead, she smiled at him and said, “I also looked into some remedies here on earth. But, I thought it would be best to instead ask you what you needed to feel better.”

Gai blinked at her for a moment before his face broke out into a relaxed smile. “I guess, if I’m stuck in bed, would you make me some tea? It helps with sore throats.”

Ahim nodded and pressed a kiss to his temple before leaving to do just that.

Gai looked up to the others and said, “Even though most of your ideas were kinda gross, it still means a lot that you guys care so much.”

Matching smiles formed around him. “What?” Marvelous started. “You think we wouldn’t care about our own crew when he’s sick?” he humorously berated as he hooked one arm around the other’s neck and used his other hand to noogy the human.

Gai let out sounds of surprise while chuckles fell from the rest in the room.

When Ahim walked back in she put her hand to Marvelous’ shoulder. “I think it’s best not to injure the sick,” she chastised with a smile.

Marvelous let go and shrugged. “He’s fine.”

Gai thanked Ahim for his tea as he took it from her.

Luka let out a sudden hum, causing eyes on her. “Is now a bad time to say I lost the frog?”

[theramseyloft]

Let’s take a moment to talk Shit.

You can tell a lot about the health of a pet by its poop.

Changes in its color or consistency are among the first warning signs that a pet may not be feeling well.

In birds, you will usually see changes in poop long before the changes in behavior that indicate illness, like irritability or lethargy.

When most people think of pigeon poop, This is what usually comes to mind:

Nasty white streaks

Or splatters

Or gross colored splats

Any place feral pigeons frequent.

But this is what poop from a healthy, well fed pigeon looks like:

A small, compact ball of the indigestible fiber left over from the hulls of the seeds they eat whole, with a tiny white cap of urate.

You can see the consistency from the others underneath it, where nesting straw has been mashed into them as Pippin has come and gone and arranged, and rearranged individual blades.

A reliably well fed and hydrated pigeon will usually leave stools that keep their round shape on impact with a texture slightly softer than well worked playdoh.

Pigeon poop can be sloppy after a big drink of water following a 6-12 hour period of having gone with out. 

The bowel movement after their first drink of water in the morning, for example, may make a sloppy mess, but in a healthy, well fed pigeon, the solid part will still be brown, and there will be more water than the white urate.

Look at this third picture again:

That wet mess of solids on mostly urate, with a mucus-y shine and slimy texture, is indicative of a heavy gut load of intestinal parasites. 

Not just most ferals, but most racing, performing, and exhibition pigeons (since there are often housed out doors) are infested with the nematode Capillaria, the round worm Strongyloides, or the protozoan Coccidia.

While usually sub-clinical, an active infection of Salmonella will turn the poop a distinctive sulfur yellow to lime green.

But poop is only pure white, 

Like those streaks and splatters most people associate with feral pigeons, when the birds have not had access to solid food in 12 hours or more.

Nearly all feral pigeons perpetually teeter on the brink of starvation, and it shows in their poop.

They are strict granivores, meaning that they can only digest seeds: the embryonic tissue of plants.

With cities being so carefully landscaped, often with the only plant life available being in the form of flower beds and trees, with grasses only in public parks and mowed too short to bloom and seed, the food they can actually digest is mighty hard for the average feral pigeon to find.

Barn ferals tend to be much more healthy for access to seed and animal feed.

But spilled garbage and the hand outs of the people that like them enough to feed them are literally all the food city ferals have access to.

Most of that is bread.

And while bread is made from grain, milling that grain and baking it into bread breaks it down, making it easier for a HUMAN to digest, but HARDER for a pigeon.

They like the taste of it, and eating some as an occasional treat won’t do a pet bird any harm, but that’s the VAST bulk of the food feral pigeons have access to.

It would be like a humans having to wander for miles every day to find food, but only being able to find potato chips, snack cakes, and the occasional slim jim.

That human would not have a long, or healthy life.

Now imagine that person ALSO had two different kinds of lice, mosquitos, and a parasitic fly sucking their blood from the outside, a painful cheesy growth in their throat that could block off their trachea or esophagus if it goes untreated long enough, two species of worms eating the nutrients they manage to find before their intestinal lining gets the chance to absorb it, and a protozoan eating their intestinal lining, with no hope of getting any of those things treated.

And you have a pretty accurate representation of what it’s like to be a feral pigeon living “free”.

I am all for wild animals living free in the environment for which they were adapted.

But pigeons are not wild life, and they were not adapted to cities.

ESPECIALLY not on the continent of North America.

The pigeons that were brought here as military messengers, meat, and entertainment had been domesticated for thousands of years already.

When homers were no longer faster and more reliable messengers than phone lines or radio waves, they were no longer profitable to keep, pigeons were released. This was common practice in the places they came from.

But in Europe, Africa, Turkey, and Saudi Arabia, where Rock Doves are native, there WAS natural habitat for the exclusively cliff nesting birds to relocate to, as well as open lofts that would welcome the boon of free livestock. 

But there is nothing like their actual habitat: A high cliff near the sea, between desert and grass land, in north America. 

So, as lofts shut down and were (as they still are to this day by racers) habitually destroyed to discourage the birds no one would buy from returning, there was nowhere for the unwanted birds to go EXCEPT the tall, concrete buildings, and the metal structure under bridges and billboards.

The problem of feral pigeon mess, from the structural damage caused by the pure uric acid they excrete on an empty stomach to their potential as vectors for zoonotic disease is one of our own making.

That’s why I don’t re-abandon feral pigeons that come into rehab by releasing them.

I get them medical care. Heal their wounds, treat their infections, clean out their parasites...

And then I treat them like any good shelter would treat a stray dog:

I evaluate their temperament, and find them a permanent home where they can be well cared for and as happy as possible.

I fiercely love pigeons. 

And for the same reason that seeing mangy, thin stray dogs roam the street treated an invasive pest species; ignored at best and chased off or exterminated at worst, would horrify and haunt the average american...

My goals are to make hoards of feral pigeons a thing of the ignorant past by encouraging the development of shelters for them like we have for dogs, cats, parrots, and other exotic pets.

Wildlife, like Mourning Doves, should absolutely be returned to the wild if at all possible.

Urban wildlife, like raccoons, are natives that have willingly ventured into cities and found them a welcoming, supportive environment, for which that animal happened to be naturally well suited.

Invasive wildlife, like Collared Doves, happen to be well adapted to the new environment into which they were released. T hey can be a danger to natives, so culling is preferred over release in the event that they can’t be penned. But still being wild animals, being caged stresses them severely.

Pigeons fit NONE of these categories.

They are not wildlife.

They did not “invade” cities.

They were abandoned there the minute they ceased to be profitable, they had no where else to go, and we treat the mess like it’s their fault.

We have done pigeons a terrible disservice by having entirely forgotten that they are domestic livestock.

And any one that calls a pigeon in north America a “wind animal that should be free” perpetuates and encourages that abandonment of responsibility.

[majormeilani]

okay so. have this story i wrote from a silly prompt that came to me because i remembered birds can't eat chocolate. and i was like what if hat kid baked cookies with the bird directors?

anyway i typically don't write stories but i got grandpa conductor and grandpa dj grooves brainrot bc the idea was too cute so i felt i had to try and write it

it's not super polished and i can't promise that it's very good but i can promise you there is words. 6000+ words that is lol.

anyway story under the cut!

Hat Kid was carrying with her some special treats for her friends down at Dead Bird Studios, an elated grin upon her face. She couldn't wait to share one of her favorite foods, chocolate chip cookies, with them. She was so excited she nearly dropped a few of the cookies as she skipped through the front doors into the reception area.

As she glanced around, she noticed that DJ Grooves and The Conductor weren't bickering at the front of the reception area like usual, meaning they were probably up to their usual filming routine. There were no Express Owls near the front door either, which likely meant that was the case.

Hat Kid gave a smile to the Receptionist, who responded with the wave of his wing, and she headed through the double doors into the dimly lit studio. She tried to watch out for wires and stray props that were strewn about the studio's floor as she made her way towards her first friend, DJ Grooves.

Once she saw the director's bright red coat, she gave it a light tug and presented the plate of cookies proudly as high as her small arms could. DJ Grooves made a surprised hum at the sudden pull but turned to glance down at her.

"Darling? Is that you? Oh, my what do we have here? Some cookies-- how sweet! Thank you, Darling!" DJ Grooves said as he plucked one from the plate. He lowered his sunglasses to get a better look at the cookie and admired it.

"What kind are these, Darling? Oatmeal raisin cookies? I love those," he said, going to take a bite.

"Chocolate chip!" Hat Kid said, beaming brightly up at him.

DJ Grooves stopped once he heard what she said, pausing in his chewing.

"... What kind did you say again?"

"Chocolate… chip?" Hat Kid parroted again, looking confused and meek as she lowered the plate, observing the cookies to see if there was something wrong with them. They looked fine to her?

DJ Grooves grimaced slightly before glancing around for a napkin or something, a nearby Moon Penguin handed him one and he spit into the napkin before clearing his throat and looking down at her.

Hat Kid's face shifted in dismay. Were her cookies really that bad…? She was sure she followed the directions right…

DJ Grooves noticed her reaction and raised his flippers in defense before he got to her level to explain.

"No! No! Darling, it's okay! I'm sorry, it's my fault you didn't know this but uh-- unfortunately, us birds can't eat chocolate. It's poisonous to us. I should have asked you before you handed them to me," DJ Grooves reassured, putting his hands gently on the girl's shoulders.

"Poison…?" Hat Kid said softly, wondering how that could be. She didn't get sick when she ate cookies. Maybe birds were different, she thought.

"But don't worry, a little bit of chocolate ain't going to kill me," he added, trying to lighten up the situation, even laughing a little. "Though The Conductor on the other hand you'll have to be careful about him." Of course he couldn't not include a playful jab at The Conductor.

"Tell you what though, darling, we're about done filming for the afternoon. If you'd like, we can bake some cookies that the whole studio can share. You can keep those for your lovely self, darling," he said, giving Hat Kid's nose a light tap.

The tap brought a light smile to the girl's face and she nodded, returning the gesture with a light "boop!" on the disco penguin's beak.

"Yer thinking about baking again, DJ Peckneck?"

Both DJ Grooves and Hat Kid turned to see The Conductor standing nearby, arms folded across his chest.

"Ye remember the last time ye tri'd that? Are ye tryna burn down the whole darn'd building again?"

DJ Grooves brows furrowed and he turned and stood to face The Conductor, one hand on his hip.

"Well, the little Darling brought us some cookies but it seems we're allergic to them so I was offering to help her make some more. The least I could do for the little star."

The Conductor grimaced at Grooves before he walked towards the plate of cookies Hat Kid held and gave them a light sniff.

"Ay, those are chocolate chip cookies, aren't the'? he asked, looking to Hat Kid.

She nodded in response.

"Ay, lassie, as much as I hate to admit-- DJ Grrrrrooves is right. We bird's cannot eat chocolate. Makes us mighty ill."

"Well, see that's why--" DJ Grooves tried to interject.

"I can help ye bake some morrrre cookies. 'm not eating anything that DJ Peckneck makes. Might put something in them that'll actually do me in," The Conductor sneered.

"Wha-! But I was gonna help the little Darling bake. It was my idea after all. But I guess you can't help but steal ideas from me," he chided, a smirk coming to his beak.

"Ah, quiet ye. You'll just mess everything up. I've had a kid and some gran'kids. I know a thing or two about bakin', more than ye would, Peckneck."

"Darling, you know as well as I that I can bake a mean tuna casserole. There's no contest that I can help her make some cookies."

"Casserrrrole-- smasserrrrole," The Conductor slurred purposefully with what looked to be an… eyeroll? "Puttin' things in a pan, ain't real cookin', Grrrrrooves."

"... What if… we bake together? All three of us?" Hat Kid asked shyly, looking between the two directors meekly.

The two directors stood silent for a moment, sparing a glance at each other then back to their star. Hat Kid gave them a sheepish but endearing grin at them, of which DJ Grooves returned with a bright one of his own.

"I don't suppose why not. After all, it could be quite fun," DJ Grooves mused with a shrug.

"What the what?! Ye want DJ Grrrooves to help ye, lassie?" The Conductor asked, sounding betrayed.

Hat Kid nodded and pointed at The Conductor.

"She wants you to help too, Conductor, darlin'," DJ Grooves added. "Gotta let my crew know that we're done shooting for the day, so we can help our little star."

Stepping closer to his Moon Penguin crew who were working nearby. He gave his flippers a soft clap to gain their attention.

"That's a wrap! Good work today, darlings. We'll catch up where we left off tomorrow." His Moon Penguin crew started packing things up and heading back to their dressing rooms wordlessly and neatly.

"Arrrgghh… a'right, fine--"

The Conductor grit his 'teeth' slightly and snapped his fingers, which ushered a nervous Express Owl to his side.

"You, order me crew to quit shootin' fer today. We've got plans fer somethin' important," The Conductor said.

"Right away, sir!" the Express Owl said, rushing off to do just that.

The Conductor turned to Hat Kid and looked down at her.

"Alright, lassie, let's get to the kitchen shall we?" he asked, offering his hand to her which she gladly took, following him towards the kitchen.

"Wait-- wait for me!" DJ Grooves said, striding after the two.

~~~~

Apparently, there was a kitchen in this studio that Hat Kid hadn't seen before! The Conductor unlocked the door with a key and opened the door, revealing the never before seen room to her. She took a moment to look around in curiosity, taking in the space.

It was quite the place-- if not a bit disorganized but otherwise looked pretty safe and perfect for baking in. It had two large ovens stacked atop one another with a large fridge in one corner. There was a small microwave on the counter, a toaster and some various utensils on the counter as well. In one corner there was a sink which had a towel hung near it and what looked like a few aprons of various sizes. At the center of the room there was a large table with chairs surrounding it. It looked like a cozy little place with everything you could ever need to make something. Hat Kid wondered when the birds would use this place, probably for parties.

The Conductor held the door open for the awestruck Hat Kid, who curtsied sweetly as she passed through the door, noticing he'd be waiting for her to enter. The Conductor then let the door fall to close behind him before the lagging behind DJ Grooves could pass through, earning a soft huff and twisted face of dismay from the penguin.

Hat Kid however caught the door with her boot and held it open slightly for him, a small grin on her face. DJ Grooves smiled at her and gave her head (or rather hat) a gentle pat as he passed through into the kitchen.

"Thank you, darling," DJ Grooves said to her, walking with the small alien girl to the other bird, who was cursing as he searched the cupboards for a cookbook.

The Conductor was standing on the counter and searching the top shelves, which were filled with miscellaneous cookware, seemingly randomly stuffed into the cupboard.

"Golly, have these birds no orrrganization? This place is a bloody mess," The Conductor said, finally retrieving a dusty cookbook from a pile of various random books. He blew the dust from the book cover, sneezing rather dramatically in response which elicited a giggle from both Hat Kid and DJ Grooves. The Conductor gave a grumble as he hopped from the counter.

"Bless you, darling," DJ Grooves chimed, stepping back as The Conductor walked towards the table.

The Conductor swiped his hand dismissively at DJ Grooves, looking a bit embarrassed to have sneezed so dramatically in front of Grooves. "Ah, quiet with ye," he muttered, setting the book on the table.

Hat Kid moved to the table as well, placing the plate of cookies she'd been carrying for far too long upon it. She climbed up the chair, sitting on her knees, seating herself left of The Conductor to read the cookbook as he opened it. She looked to DJ Grooves and gestured for him to sit down as well.

DJ Grooves smirked slightly and sat to the left of Hat Kid, trying to glimpse at the cookbook.

"So what cookies should we bake?" DJ Grooves asked the two of them.

"Lassie ye can pick," The Conductor said, sliding the book in front of her.

Hat Kid rubbed her hands together and wiggled her fingers, beginning to flip through the book. She seemed to be studying the pictures intensely, lamenting her choices as if it were the biggest decision ever. Which it was, these cookies had to be the very best.

The Conductor began to search around for the supplies to bake, bowls, spoons, measuring cups, the whole deal. It was almost like he knew exactly what they would need and like he'd done this before. He brought everything to the table, setting everything out in front of the other bird and his lassie.

"Made a decision yet?" The Conductor asked, removing his coat and draping it over the back of his chair, rolling up his sleeves in preparation for the baking.

Hat Kid hummed in thought as she looked between two different recipes, making a "eh" face at both, flipping the page then she gasped softly. She then pointed and tapped upon the page at a recipe she finally chose. It was a recipe for sugar cookies, ones that included the recipe for some homemade frosting to decorate. She clapped her hands and beamed at both birds for approval of her choice.

"... Ye want ta make lil' sugar cookies?" The Conductor asked, his voice surprisingly soft, almost nostalgic sounding. Hat Kid nodded furiously.

"Darlin', those sound wonderful. Let's do it! Should be easy as pie to make," DJ Grooves said, gesturing a thumbs up.

Hat Kid bounced slightly in her seat, reading over the ingredients and committing them to her memory before jumping down. She began searching through the lower cupboards for flour, sugar and baking powder. DJ Grooves looked at the book himself before he also went searching for ingredients; his being the vanilla extract, salt and powdered sugar in the higher cupboards that Hat Kid could not reach.

The Conductor washed his hands then took on the task of gathering the milk, butter and eggs from the fridge, taking extra care to check the dates on them. He also recounted the amount of each ingredient they would need to make both the cookies and the frosting. Luckily everything was in date and it seemed they'd have just enough to complete the task. A relieved sigh came from him as he brought the supplies to the table, joining the other two again. "We're gonna need quite a lot o' ingredients if ye want ta' be makin' cookies fer the whole studio."

"Alright, darlin', let's get cookin'!" DJ Grooves proclaimed excited, reaching for the flour. Hat Kid reached for the milk and went to unscrew the cap. But before either of them could do anything, The Conductor gently stopped the girl's hand and the penguin's flipper, causing both Hat Kid and DJ Grooves to exchange a confused look.

"Uh-pu-pu-up! Ye can't start bakin' without washin' up yer hands. Unless ye want ta get everyone sick from yer germs," The Conductor scolded, wagging his finger at the two of them.

"Oh, yes, good point, darlin'," DJ Grooves said with a nod, moving to the sink.

Hat Kid jumped down too, giving DJ Grooves sleeve a light tug and reaching her arms out to him to be picked up. DJ Grooves gave her a lift so she could wash her hands before he set her down and washed his own flippers.

The Conductor watched the two of them as he tied an apron around himself to protect his clothes. He grabbed two extras from the few that were hung on the wall, one tiny apron for Hat Kid and one much larger one for DJ Grooves.

"Here, yer also gonna need these too, less ye want stuff all over ye clothes," The Conductor said, tossing the apron's to their respective persons, well, rather bird and small alien girl.

"Thank you," Hat Kid chimed sweetly, wearing the apron, and giving her hat a tap, swapping it over to a chef's hat she'd swiped from The Mafia Boss. She stood proudly with her hands on her hips, looking ready to bake.

"Ah, you even got a hat for the occasion, you look great, darling." DJ Grooves wore his own apron, thankful that his stylish jacket could now stay clean and neat.

Hat Kid climbed back in her chair ready to bake, now rolling up her sleeves like The Conductor while glimpsing at the book again to recall how much of each measurement she needed. She looked at the measuring cups for one for the flour. The birds joined her at the table, The Conductor gesturing at DJ Grooves sleeves which Grooves sheepishly rolled up as well.

"Alright, darlin', we'll follow your lead. Tell us where to start," he said, ready to help where needed.

"Flour," Hat Kid pointed her measuring cup to the bag beside DJ Grooves. Grooves gave a smile and tore open the bag for her, allowing her to fish out the appropriate amount of flour with her measuring cup. She proceeded to dump each measurement into the largest bowl they had.

Unfortunately the last cup she added to the bowl she dumped over a bit too aggressively and it caused the flour in the bowl to puff up into DJ Grooves and her own face, coating them both in flour. DJ Grooves laughed at the predicament they found themselves in and Hat Kid also laughed, finding it funny how the flour outlined where DJ Grooves sunglasses covered when he removed them. Grooves and Hat Kid both had a giggle fit over it.

"Ay-yi-yi, ye two are a mess. What am I gonna do with ye?" The Conductor said, shaking his head and pinching the bridge of his brow.

The Conductor got up to get a wet cloth and returned to clean the flour from Hat Kid's face, who made this weird gibberish sound as she had her face wiped off. After she was cleaned off, The Conductor moved to do the same to DJ Grooves, the rag a few inches from his face before he realized what he was doing and froze.

DJ Grooves was patiently awaiting his own face to be cleaned off, eyes closed as if hopeful that The Conductor would do the same for him.

"Here ye, Peckneck," The Conductor said, seeming a bit flustered with his feathers seeming to stand up slightly as he handed the rag to Grooves, who accepted it but seemed to almost pout.

"Thank ya, Conductor," DJ Grooves said, patting his face with it as if he were applying makeup. "Did I get it all…?" he asked shortly afterwards.

The Conductor spared him a glance before reaching out to brush a bit of flour from DJ Grooves brows. If anyone asked him why he did that, he'd say it were because DJ Grooves is an incompetent Peckneck and leave it at that. No other reason.

"Now ye did," The Conductor muttered, turning away and returning to his seat, watching Hat Kid as she worked to measure out all the dry ingredients, as the recipe book had stated.

DJ Grooves seemed to jump slightly at The Conductor's gesture and seemed stunned for a moment. It wasn't typical for The Conductor to be so kind and gentle. Normally he'd let Grooves look like an utter fool for his own satisfaction. He wondered why this time was different but thought not to push it as not to ruin the mood for Hat Kid. And so he focused on cleaning the last of the flour from his sunglasses with his apron and the rag. He then turned his attention to the cookbook and read the page for what steps to take next.

"I'll take care of the eggs, that's the easy part," DJ Grooves said, reaching for the egg carton and grabbing the amount of eggs the recipe called for and began cracking them into a separate bowl. Unfortunately a few eggshells landed in the bowl but in his clumsiness he didn't seem to notice.

"Hold it there, Grrrooves. Yer gettin' shells in th' eggs!" The Conductor gasped, practically reaching over the table to stop DJ Grooves. He grabbed an egg from the carton and held it with one hand to demonstrate to the other two.

"Ye have'ta crack 'em like this,"

The Conductor knocked the egg firmly against the table and cracked it with ease in one swift motion, not a single shell falling in the bowl.

DJ Grooves seemed impressed with The Conductor's grace. He never knew The Conductor knew how to cook so well! And he had second thoughts about doubting him before. He always seemed the type to be all talk but it seemed he really knew his stuff. Hat Kid also seemed rather impressed herself and tried The Conductor's method of egg cracking and seemed to glow with pride when she succeeded.

"Wow, you two seem to be natural chef's!" DJ Grooves said, doing the same with his last egg and going to fish out the shell pieces he'd dropped in the first time. He then returned the extra eggs back to the carton, as The Conductor and Hat Kid had replaced a few in the little demonstration they did.

Hat Kid measured the sugar and baking powder with care and added a few pinches of salt with a flourish like a little chef. Once she added the last of the dry ingredients, she pushed the largest bowl to the side for the time being and brought another bowl to her front, reading what wet ingredients they needed. She then began to measure the milk pouring it carefully into the bowl and measuring a few tablespoons of vanilla extract. She beamed in pride at her careful measurements. All those lab experiments really paid off.

"Look at ye, lass, yer quite good at this whole measurrrin' thing," The Conductor complimented, beginning to cut some of the butter into chunks to use for the frosting of the cookies and giving a few pieces to Hat Kid to put in her wet mixture. He let Hat Kid measure the milk and the powdered sugar for the frosting mixture as well as a few drops of vanilla extract, combining everything together with her help.

Both Hat Kid and DJ Grooves seemed to notice that The Conductor seemed to radiate some positive energy, even smiling slightly as he worked at his task. It was honestly a contagious energy, he seemed almost as giddy as when he'd won an award except without all the gloating.

It was now time for Hat Kid and DJ Grooves to combine their ingredients together and they poured them into the largest bowl, ready to mix everything up. Hat Kid grabbed a spatula and tried to stir it, stirring it a few times but seeming to have a bit of trouble getting the ingredients to combine. The spatula felt like it was stuck when she'd try to stir.

"Lassie, ya gotta keep stirring until it gets smooth and ye can knead it," The Conductor input, still working at the frosting but beginning to get it to start whipping up. Once he was satisfied with the consistency, he took some plastic wrap to cover it and placed it in the fridge to keep cool and sat back down.

"You need help, darlin'? I can stir it for you," DJ Grooves said, lifting his flipper in offer to the small alien girl.

Hat Kid nodded and offered the spatula to him, needing a little break from all her hard work. He stirred it for her until the mixture turned into a thick dough. Hat Kid watched in awe as everything seemed to be coming together and she clapped her hands slightly.

"Now that looks like cookie dough to me!" DJ Grooves proclaimed, causing Hat Kid to bounce slightly on her chair.

Since The Conductor had finished with the frosting, he stood up, remembering he forgot two of the most vital things about cookie making: the cookie cutters and the rolling pin. He fished around in the drawers of the kitchen and found a few odd shapes and a rolling pin, which he brought to the table. He set the items out on the table in front of Hat Kid and she picked up the rolling pin, holding it out with determination like it were her umbrella.

"Grooves," The Conductor said, snapping his fingers at the other to get his attention. "Can ye put a bit o' that flour on the cutting board for the lassie?"

DJ Grooves smiled and sprinkled some flour onto the cutting board for Hat Kid so the dough wouldn't stick. Then he grabbed a ball of the cookie dough and placed it down for Hat Kid to roll out.

Hat Kid stared at the ball of dough before giving it a poke and tasting it. Wow! Cookies before they were baked still tasted just as good. She looked at the rolling pin and then started to roll out the dough, seeming to struggle a bit as she did and she stood upon her chair to get a bit of leverage.

"I'll help ye, lassie," The Conductor said, gently taking the handles of the rolling pin and guiding Hat Kid on how to roll out the dough. "We want em about ta be about three centimeters thick so they'll bake evenly."

DJ Grooves watched The Conductor help Hat Kid work to level the dough. He'd never seen The Conductor so encouraging before but it was a lovely sight to see. He supposed it was because he had a soft spot for Hat Kid. He'd once overheard The Conductor mentioning something about Hat Kid reminding him of his daughter. Maybe his fatherly-- and grandfatherly care-- was taking over. Paternal care was probably the word for it. He thought for a moment before he asked,

"Hey, Conductor darlin', you seem like you've done this before. You don't even seem to need the cookbook to know what to do," DJ Grooves said, resting his arms on the table. "I never knew you knew so much about cooking and baking. Do you like baking?"

Of course the penguin had to be nosey and pry like he always did. The Conductor seemed a bit tense for a moment at the question, feathers fluffing again. But it was hard to tell exactly what emotion he was feeling in that moment. He seemed to turn his head away too at the question as if he didn't want to answer. His silence made both Hat Kid and DJ Grooves look at him with slight concern and DJ Grooves mentally beat himself up for asking such a question.

But to both their surprise, The Conductor spoke up.

"... Ay. I do like ta bake. Used to do it with me daughter when she was a wee lass. We used ta make sugar cookies all ta time," The Conductor said, a subtle smile coming to his face. "We used ta make th' same recipe so many times I actually know it by 'eart."

The Conductor sat silent for a moment as he thought about the memories, his expression softening to look almost sad.

"She used to make such a mess… gettin' flour everywhere, even on her lil' face," The Conductor reminisced with a soft laugh. "I guess this whole thin' got me a lil' sentimental…" A small frown seemed to come to his face and he looked at the dough the Hat Kid had ceased to be rolling out. The lass was staring at him now, brows knit.

DJ Grooves had his flipper placed on his own chin as he listened to The Conductor speaking, noticing the frown on his face.

"I didn't mean to upset you, darlin'," DJ Grooves said, somewhat regretting even asking in the first place and he looked away slightly. It's like The Conductor said before, he messed everything up like he always did.

But instead of getting a usual berating as he'd expected, The Conductor's voice came soft.

"It's fine, Grooves," The Conductor said. "I-- I hate to admit but I've… I've had fun doing this with ye an' the lass. Yer still a Peckneck though."

DJ Grooves laughed quietly and reached over to give The Conductor's shoulder a quick gentle pat.

"Oh, I've had fun helping you too, darlin'," DJ Grooves said, looking at the cookie cutters and picking up a heart shaped one. "And of course, our lovely star here too."

Hat Kid set the rolling pin down and leaned over to give The Conductor a big hug to try and comfort him. This elicited a small smile from The Conductor and he gave the lassie a soft pat on the back.

"Thank ye, lassie," The Conductor said. "Now. Enough with the sappiness; let's start cuttin' out these cookies so we can bake 'em and get ta decoratin'!" The Conductor said adding cooking spray to the baking sheet and grabbing a cookie cutter of his own.

The three of them worked at cutting the cookies out, rolling the dough out again, filling the baking sheets until they couldn't fit anymore. They ended up with about eight dozen cookies in the end and seemed quite satisfied with their work.

The Conductor moved to the ovens, which were quite large as they were used to feed many at the studio, and preheated it to the correct temperature. All the while, Hat Kid and DJ Grooves got to work clearing up the dishes they'd accumulated and giving them a wash. DJ Grooves would scrub the dishes and Hat Kid would rinse and dry them. They'd found a little step stool in the cupboards so she could stand at an appropriate height without having trouble reaching the sink. DJ Grooves also gave the table a quick clean wipe down so they would have a clear space to work with.

The Conductor added the cookies to the oven tray by tray and he saw Hat Kid jumping down to rush over and help put the cookies in the oven, he let her put the last one in and shut the oven. Hat Kid dusted her hands off, all satisfied with the job well done that they'd accomplished. The Conductor brought some sprinkles and candies as well as food dyes from the crowded cabinets and to the table and set them out. Now all they had to do was wait for the cookies to finish baking so they could decorate them.

The trio settled in their seats once more to wait for the cookies to bake. Hat Kid messed with some of the food dye in front of her as if they were little dolls, muttering something incomprehensible that the dyes were "talking about." The Conductor watched her for a few minutes but seemed to slump slightly in his seat. DJ Grooves looked concerned for a moment at him before he heard… snoring?

The Conductor had fallen asleep. And he was snoring quite loudly, quite dramatically. DJ Grooves giggled at the sight, finding it a bit funny The Conductor had fallen asleep so easily. But he supposed that baking was tiring enough to wear the old soul out so he didn't bother to wake him.

"Y'know, darlin', The Conductor always denies he snores in his sleep but as you can see here… it's evidence that he does snore," DJ Grooves whispered to Hat Kid as if it were some scandalous secret and Hat Kid cupped her mouth and snickered, trying to stay quiet to let the bird rest. "And he says I lie and make everything up."

DJ Grooves stood up and gently lifted The Conductor's coat from his chair and placed it over the old bird's shoulders. The Conductor seemed to collapse to rest his face on the table under the weight of his jacket and he snored heavily in his sleep.

DJ Grooves asked in a hushed voice, "How long do the cookies need to bake, darlin'?"

"Ten minutes," she whispered back, holding up ten fingers for emphasis.

"Want to go take a quick walk around the studio, darlin'? So we don't disturb The Conductor in the meantime?"

Hat Kid nodded and grabbed an egg timer from the counter. She turned the arrow to ten and the small contraption started ticking and she grabbed DJ Grooves flipper, the two of them leaving the kitchen to go on a quick walk.

~~~~

The two returned to the kitchen after nine minutes passed, Hat Kid bursting through the door in excitement before she realized that, oh, right. Sleeping Conductor.

She turned to DJ Grooves and put a finger to her lips, shhh-ing him to make sure he stayed quiet. DJ Grooves put a flipper up defensively, another to his mouth but nodded and stepped into the kitchen quietly.

Then all the sudden the egg timer rang out in Hat Kid's hands, causing her to toss it between her hands as if it were a hot potato. DJ Grooves' brows raised and he clenched his beak in surprise as he eyed The Conductor at the table, Grooves feathers standing up in surprise. Once Hat Kid was able to catch the timer in both her hands, she clamped her hand on the top of the timer and turned it to silence it. Both DJ Grooves and Hat Kid stood there for a moment, quietly looking at The Conductor.

Lucky for them, he remained asleep. The two of them sighed in relief simultaneously.

"Let's check on those cookies, darlin'," DJ Grooves whispered.

Hat Kid nodded, her little smile she almost always wore returning to her once worried face. She pattered over to the oven, peeking through the glass door, the heat from the oven warping her view of the cookies. So she reached up to grab the oven door and pull it down. She grinned wider at the sight of the golden cookies and she went to reach for them with her bare hands.

Alarm leapt to DJ Grooves face and he went to grab Hat Kid's hand to stop her from burning herself.

"Darlin'...! Wait-- y-you can't just grab those with your bare hands-- you'll burn your tiny little hands," he said, as hushed as he could manage in this circumstance. "We need some oven mitts-- or something."

DJ Grooves glanced around and spotted a pair of mismatched oven mitts on top of the microwave and brought them back to his little darling. He slipped one onto each of her hands and then gestured to the oven to give her the go. She snapped the thumb like crab claws in curiosity, trying to figure out how to use them. Then she looked at the trays in the oven, gripping the edge of one, getting the hang of the mitts. She managed to pull the first tray out and lifted it onto the counter.

Hat Kid excitedly pulled the other three trays that she could reach from the oven, staring at each tray in awe as she did. She'd made the most perfect cookies with the help of her beloved bird director friends! She quietly placed the trays on the counter for the cookies to cool. Then she surrendered her oven mitts to DJ Grooves so he could pull the other four trays of cookies out of the other oven, as that one was stacked on top of the lower oven and Hat Kid was much too small to reach.

After the two of them finished removing the cookies, DJ Grooves shut off both ovens and placed the oven mitts back on the microwave oven neater than he'd found them.

Hat Kid raised a hand up to DJ Grooves and stood on her tiptoes. He noticed what she was trying to do and high-fived her little hand back. Then the two of them sat down to wait for the cookies to cool.

The Conductor then groaned softly in his sleep, seeming to stir at last, likely the smell of the cookies had awoken him. His sleepy head rose from the table and he yawned wide with a stretch, noticing his coat had been draped over his body as it fell from his back to the chair.

DJ Grooves peered from his seat over at the other bird, a bright smile on his face. He had his head tilted down to rest on the table to make himself look quite silly.

"Well, good morning, sleepyhead," DJ Grooves said smugly, a goofy laugh bubbling from him.

"Morning!" Hat Kid parroted.

The Conductor scrunched his face at DJ Grooves comment and brought a hand to his forehead, seeming to rub at his "eyes," or lack there of.

"Ah, quiet ye, Peckneck…" he grumbled. "Th' cookies finally done, ay? Ye didn't burn them did ye?"

The Conductor turned to glimpse at the counter that was covered with cookies. He seemed impressed that not a single one was burned and they looked perfectly golden.

"Ay! Not bad, ye actually brought em out from the o'en on time!"

"You can thank the little darlin' for her smart idea. She brought an egg timer with us when we went on a little walk around the studio while the cookies baked," DJ Grooves said, pointing a finger gun at Hat Kid. "So we got to them just in time."

Hat Kid beamed at DJ Grooves' praise. She felt special and proud of herself. Especially since now her bird friends could enjoy her cookies she'd made with them without any allergies or anything getting in the way.

After the cookies cooled completely, the group set to work on decorating. They dyed the homemade frosting The Conductor made various colors and added sprinkles and candies as embellishments to their cookies. DJ Grooves seemed to have a steady hand and an eye for details in his cookie decorating. The Conductor made his simple with a thin coat of frosting and a few sprinkles, seeming to find the simplicity better. Hat Kid, of course, added hundreds of sprinkles to hers and made smiley faces with her candies.

"... Those are not half bad, DJ Grooves," The Conductor said, almost seeming to admire the other's work as he spread frosting on one of his cookies.

A flushed expression of surprise came to DJ Grooves face at The Conductor's compliment but he seemed to glow slightly in pride. He touched a flipper onto his own cheek, getting some frosting on his feathers. "Aww, thank you, darlin'! Yours are honestly quite adorable too, Conductor. And yours are quite colorful, little darling."

"Ay, ye really have an eye fer color, lassie."

Hat Kid grinned, kicking her feet underneath the table. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this happy! And she was so glad to have been able to share the experience with her friends.

The cookies were the best she'd ever had. She couldn't wait to share them with the whole studio.

[theropodwithablog]

my theriotypes? oh, thanks for asking, they're

- an arsonist prick of a bird that yodel-screams like a banshee and dive bombs people for the sheer fun of it

- a bug which is absolutely shit at walking. and not devouring its spouses. and not being creepy. and

- an extremely violent turkey with teeth and claws that holds the grand title of "being which took a shit millions of years before the very first humans took their first breaths"

- an oversized lizard who worships mud and eats literal fucking rocks because it's built wrong

- a literal parrot that can and will dismantle your car for you, who lives off stolen crisps and thieved chips and does nothing except having actual snowball fights and eating the rubber strips from cop cars

- a giant lanky asshole lion creature who's only source of joy is terrorising travellers with nonsense riddles with stupid answers while preening their maGniFicAnT wiNgS

[lillian-nator]

please do more backyard au hcs this sounds lovely

PEOPLE AND AGES - Tommy (5) Kindergarten - Techno (11) 6th grade - wilbur (18) Senior - Tubbo (4) Kindergarten - Schlatt (19) Just Graduated, goes to Community college - SapNap (7) First grade - Punz (13) 7th grade - Dream (12) 8th grade - Gogy (15) Sophomore - Ranboo (6) Kindergarten - Fundy (15) Freshman - Niki (16) junior - Puffy (17) Senior - Purpled (5) Kindergarten - Big Q (14) 8th grade - Karl (13) 7th grade ----------------------- SPECIES AND RELATIONSHIPS (put into friend groups) - Tubbo (Ram, Schlatt's son) - Tommy (Racoon) - Ranboo (enderman, kind of a street kid) - Purpled (Purple Sheep, Dream and Puffy's younger brother) - SapNap (Demon, Bad's son, Punz's baby brother)

- Techno (Piglin) - Dream (Ram, Puffy's younger brother) - Punz (demon) - Gogy  (Mooshroom) - Big Q (Duck) - Karl (Parrot hybrid)

- Wilbur (Blue Jay) - Schlatt (Ram) - Puffy (sheep - Schlatt's cousin) - Niki (fish? mermaid?) - Fundy (Fox) ----------------------- I think that Philza minecraft just slowly keeps finding kids in his backyard, and he slowly grows very attached to all of them Just like every afternoon his backyard is FLOODED with kids And he doesn’t understand why he’s the house everyone goes to, but he’ll feed them He just slowly finds himself being really endeared by each of them ------------------- And before he knows it, Phil’s warning SapNap and Ranboo away from the water, and balancing Purpled and Tommy on his hips And he knows all their allergies And all their favorite foods And he’s keeping track of the high schoolers grades, bringing Dream, punz, and techno to their games  ----------------- CARPOOL SOCCER MOM Mr. Philza Minecraft --------------------- Dream: Basketball Punz: Football Techno: Baseball Puffy: Softball Small children: Baby Soccer -------------------------- - Phil keeps track of all of boys'  games and practices. Because goddamn it, these kids deserve some sort of parental guidance - Dream, purpled, and Puffy don’t have present parents - Puffy had to step up to the plate - Ranboo’s a street kid - No one really knows if he has anyone - Bad just chilling in hell ---------------------------- Schlatt is really working himself thin, but he tries hard, he really does And everyone can see how much he loves Tubbo Sometimes Phil will wake up and see schlatt passed out on their couch. He got off at midnight But as soon as he gets home from work, Tubbo is immediately in his Dad’s arms Schlatt animatedly talking to the boy But you can just see how much love he has for his boy He’s just a bit too young to bare the burden alone ------------------------------ And the thing is, is that all of these kids are so like, independent Like Phil just needs to feed them And tend to the youngest ones every so often ------------------------------- I think it’s like musical chairs To see who’s sleeping at Phil’s house in the morning Like - who’s on the couch? An air mattress? Guest bed? Sharing a room with one of his kids? All of the small children like to pile around SapNap, who is also a small child, cause he’s warm Punz also always has children flocking him ------------------------------- Punz is also that teen who throws the kids in the pool he cant go into the water himself, prefering to lay on the grass and in the sun, but he does love just chucking kids in ------------------------------- Phil drives a beat up mini van. It’s baby blue It's always filled to the brim with passengers very dirty many crumbs has balls just thrown in it all the time Footballs, basketballs, baseballs, soccer balls it fucking smells, we all know it does Phil owns like 4 of those kid car seats despite only having one kid in that age group ---------------------------- Also if you couldn't tell Niki basically lives in the pool she's a fish hybrid so its a salt water pool instead of chlorine because its better for Niki --------------------------- Tommy, Tubbo, purpled, Ranboo, and SapNap play baby soccer its the best part of this au It’s so adorable, and Tommy picks at flowers the entire time Sometimes. Ranboo will come and entertain him for a little. Try and get him back in the game. He gives up when Tommy sits down tho Ranboo will more often then not join Tommy cause mmmm grass Tubbo is insanely competitive as a little kid we been knew though When he gets older Tommy gets really into it But as a baby He just chases bugs Plus he’s a raccoon hybrid, so shiny ------------------------ HE HOARDS SHIT UNDER HIS BED IS A MESS he as in fucking baby racoon Tommy whats the word for baby racoon small baby kit Phil 1000% calls him kit BABY RAMS ARE CALLED BUCKS FUCKING EVERYONE CALLS TUBBO "BUCK" THATS SO CUTE IM LOSING MY SHIT Things go lost? Go check tommys room Bermuda Triangle of a bedroom Very much like - Phil has to have a talk with him about it And he’s like “ I know you feel like you have to take them Kit, but they’re not yours” “If you want it, just ask me and I’m

sure we can figure something out.” Tommy also loses interest as soon as he gains it tho Tommy chitters at them They nod liek they understand and go “Uh huh, sounds mighty interesting Kit,” And then they pick him and let him climb around them -------------------------------- So much rough housing like SO much they're hybrids man Tommy also teethes ok. Chews on shit when his canines grow in so does Techno, and SapNap, and Punz (Punz and Techno's canines already grew in though, but they still chew on shit) The rams Rub their heads against stuff Head Itchy ------------------------------- A lot of Phil’s days off are just spent by the babies, just who are growing in hybrid traits He scratches Tubbo, sapnaps, and Puroled heads They’re all growing in horns Gives Tommy things to chew on Purpled. Never gets full horns. They are always little stubs just barely sticking out of his hair. His ears looks more human than ram too. Just for some reason never really grew into his hybrid traits And purple eyes He gets so upset about it too, when Tubbos horns outgrow his, because he’s older He’s a bit different. But it’s like being brunette in a family of blondes. It’s not unheard of He just is tearing up and Phil is just like “oh Bud, come ‘ere” They're like 8 And Tommy just gives Purpled the biggest hug, because Tommy is a sweetheart as a kid ------------------- I think that even the older kids wrestle Like obviously Dream, Techno and the rest of the middle school gang do Because they’re so fucking competitive Dream is so quick to just. Grab someone and wrestle them to the floor No warning But like, you’ll catch Wilbur and Schlatt jumping at each other Or Wilbur throwing Fundy over his shoulder Or anyone just man handling gogy ------------------- Phil gets to a point where he calls them all his kids And asks where they are when they aren’t At his house ------------------------ Puffy bringing them (Dream and Purpled) over after school. They go outside and play. Puffy sighs and collapses at the dining table. Phil silently hands her a coffee. “I’ll keep em busy” he says “you get some homework done” She looks up, and puts her head in her hand, “Dream has basketball practice in an hour” Phil just pats  her on the back. “I got it.” ----------------- Also let’s talk about how much food Phil needs to buy Like even if it’s just lunch That’s like 15 growing boys He can afford it, He just has to watch out for allergies He buys so many fucking snacks man Whole damn store He goes through like crates of those little chip variety packs Tubbo only likes the crunchy Cheetos Tommy likes barbecue Niki likes salt and vinegar Punz likes Doritos He knows which ones they all like I’m just imagining Phil calling out for the kids And they’re like lining out of the kitchen Oldest to youngest so that Phil can help the little ones They can eat anywhere in the yard, but Ohil has the little ones eat at the picnic table They’re all dripping wet from coming out of the pool, and he needs to make sure they eat their fruit and popsicles, they have tons of popsicles. ------------------ Phil totally takes Dad tax Like a chip from every plate And a tatertot from each breakfast very dad of him to do ------------------- Not not Phil kissing each of their foreheads goodbye And “drive safe” And “have a good day" ------------------ He’ll still pick up Texhno And Dream and Punz, right by the armpits And tucks them into bed ----------------- Tommy when he gets wet He loves swimming but the poor baby: his fur It’s hard to get him in the water but once he’s in it’s hard to get him out Because he feels all heavy and sticky afterwards ------------------ Adventures in the woods TOMMY IN HID NATURAL HABITAT Small boy makes hidey hole You may be asking Does. Does Tommy crunch on the leaves He does Like on ever y single one Carefully -------------------- All of the little kids And even technos group Just bonk heads Because of the goats They all just do it Sometimes softly Sometimes roughly Techno always does it roughly tho Rough houser Dream doesn’t mind Makes it feel like he has a

herd Feeds a primal instinct for ram playmates Feeds a primal instinct for ram playmates - Small boy And puffy has outgrown it But a young piglin brute? Perfect playmate. ------------------------- AND THATS THE AU YOU'RE WELCOME

[blole-hack]

I've been questioning if im autistic

big sensory problems seriously

i like vegetables but i cant stand the tastes of some of them and textures. i mean i eat it but there's certain THRESHOLDS that i just can't, im about to puke, im sorry. it tastes good but idk why my body is rejecting it

i cant stand STRONG TASTES and STRONG SMELLS. But apparently I smell some things stronger than others???? like i can smell pee in some places where others dont lol (its the bathroom of course i smell the pee) and then it sticks to my nose bc of the particles that got stuck on my mask (as in anti COVID-19 mask not masking) so i had to swap masks but everyone else seemed fine

cant stand cold food lol do i just have stomach problem

cant stand perfumes or efficascent oil

cant stand sounds that people dont even think are loud tbh but its mostly because I'm scared of damaging my ears

its really hard to sleep without ear plugs but i think i just got used to it after sleeping near someone snoring.

touching certain textures is fine I'm just mildly germaphobic so if i touch something that feeels like it has like, idk, germs??? but im not scared of getting sick??? idk microorganisms scare me even though i know theyre everywhere

i cant stand the smells of some masks which other people dont notice (like, the insides)

but there's some things im dull at tasting or smelling

motion sickness dude... my whole life dude. and travel lag for hours

feel pressured to act normal but sometimes i just wanna let go maybe its social anxiety

cant speak/can barely speak idk if its enough to count as nonverbal during mornings but its so hard

its hard to respond when so many things are going at once

bad sense of direction because its hard to remember locations because of so many things around at once

triggered when some random person touches me but i just have boundaries

i dont really stim unless im excited. i dont rock back and forth for self soothing, or maybe i do??? idk i move sideways sometimes. i cant sit still i think HAHHAA when i discovered it was a thing though, shaking things off is pretty neat ow my ankle jk

iii do get the urge to just verbalize random shit fidget in certain ways but i dont really do it

i mean i do fidget but when I'm nervous

i do mimic things and basically built my identity by chipping things off from characters since I've been so confused about who i really am and that's the most accessible way of expressing and experimenting about it

some synthetic sounds or just music honestly hurt my ears. i dont know why. these things arent being complained about by other people. it makes composing and appreciating music hard.

ive never really parroted things randomly when i was a kid i think or llike older or something. i guess i did when i was like 3 until yeah

i dont really relate to the special interests thing though. might be important to have. actually maybe its art, music, writing. but growing up ive been kinda a stubborn person who didn't really wanna learn from anyone and just did things on my own. butt once i realized i would greatly benefit from learning i cant stand a day where i dont learn or improve IM JUST A PERFECTIONIST MAYBE but i dont really talk about them thaaaat much i dont really talk about anything much i dont really have much to say unless people are asking me for information

Ive been considered weird by peers before. when i was in grade 1 i tried writing a book in a small tiny book. it was a self help book. and then my classmates wrote "you're crazy" in the pages and tHATS WHEN I LEARNED TO USE EMOTIONAL WARFARE AND CRY IN CLASS TO GET WHAT I WANT MOTHERFUCKER -

I've always been so confused about socializing and why people seemed to know more about it than me but i realized afterwards that it's really just an art, there's no hard and fast rules besides not truly being a douchebag, and people just do whatever

i guess another thing that could be considered a special interest is my unstoppable urge of asking people about themselves, I'm really curious about others but have no idea how to talk about myself lol (i mean its stoppable i dont wanna look weird but i do wanna prod people so much)

i really wanna learn more about psychoanalyzing people but i hate Sigmund Freuds work HAHAHAHAHA

if it was more accessible maybe id be more nerdy about i

reading books is hard man...

ARTIFICIAL/SYNTHETIC FLAVORS. ARTIFICIAL/SYNTHETIC SMELLS i cannot stress this enough. i cant stand the combination of chocolate and milk sometimes, i cant stand the taste of whey protein sometimes when it has chocolate and milk as its flavoring

i think this is neurotypical as well but my senses get dulled sometimes when im focused on something else then later when i break focus all the sounds return. i guess yeah that makes sense but like it feels like i dont even process them subconsciously the info just gets thrown away HAHAHAHA

cant sleep when something is touching my neck even if its just my clothigny

when im already affected by motion sickness all of my senses get worse i guess thats normal

are my talking patterns weird <- my thoughts almost always

on the flip side, despite my interest in people, there's also me not understanding people and fictional characters *some emotions or recognizing them until i read or watch analyses or meta posts (thats why I love them)

i mean getting diagnosed is incredibly terrible Because People Will Make Your Life Worse and judge you for it with stigmas but heyyy at least i can get an excuse from my family why i dont wanna eat those *specific* vegetables please i beg i feel bad for the veggies whenever i want to vomit them

so yeah since i cant get diagnosed might as well ask actual neurodivergent people on tumblr

maybe i should just blender them into a nice textureless juice if i want my fill NUTRIENTS BABY without the near vomit experience!

wonder if any neuro divergent peeps out there relate or if im neurotypical but i really just do have problems with textures and tastes

[writefightandflightclub]

list five things that make you happy. Leave this in the inbox of anyone who has made you happy on this hellsite 🥰💐

1. Beach days: Hunting for sea glass and finding a whole bunch to pop in your pocket. The smell of saltwater. The grains of sand beneath your feet. Finding the most interesting pebbles or petrified wood or weird buried objects. Peering into rock pools and watching the life there. The colours. The openness; the frayed edge of land. The sea. The beautiful sea. The sound of it. How it is different every single time you visit it. When waves catch the pier and spray you. Walking to the lighthouse and spotting dolphins. Eating ice cream or fish and chips. The feel in your legs after the bracing walk to the top of a cliff as the breeze whips your hair. The feeling of finding a hidden cave or cove to explore and imagining you’re the first visitor. The sun dancing on the tips of the waves like music. The quiet. The rhythm of it. Bracing yourself to get in when it’s too cold. The feel of towel dried hair and freshness, salt on your lips. Putting starfish back in the water. The moon shining softly down. The timelessness of it. The impermanence of it. Taking so many pictures. (Huge bonus if it’s raining or storming 😂)

2. Forests: the green, the bird song, the air, the varied textures underfoot from springy moss to nobbled tree roots. The colours. The variety. The shade. The peace. Bark under my fingers. Climbing things. Touching things. Stopping to admire the majesty of flowers and plants. Spotting a bird or an animal. Crunching leaves in autumn. The blaze of orange trees. Feeling free. Hunting for mushrooms. Taking so many pictures. (Rain is nice here too…)

3. Getting lost in a creation (of mine or someone else’s): writing (lol, my true love), singing, drawing, photography, reading, theatre, films, music, watching, viewing, listening, feeling, thinking, making, exploring, learning. Always learning. Always fangirling about things.

4. Big city days: the bustle, the interest, the anonymity, the way you can slip into it and disappear, the quiet havens in the noise, the unpredictability, the novelty and excitement, smiles and laughs, the sights and lights and sensations, the sheer and infinite possibility of it, the aroma of coffee and a trip to a museum or gallery where you can be swallowed by history and creativity and the human experience. BOOKSHOPS! The way it makes your mind tick. Taking so many photos again, lol. (Don’t mind if it rains here either 😂)

5. Home: long hot baths, snuggling on the sofa, my favourite mug and favourite company, films we might hate or might love, talking about them afterwards, everything I need being within reach, the absence of demands or expectations, the feel of a book in my hands and love in my arms, the trees outside the window, a warm cosy bed and pyjamas all day. Listening to the rain outside with nowhere to be.

BONUS: CUTE PARROT VIDEOS 😂😂😂 I DIEEEEEEE!

Thanks so much for sending this ask, Anon! 🧡🧡🧡