#Change via Wish
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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Developing a theory that Phoenix's personal Place of Living is a disaster, while the Wright and Co. office is kept impeccably clean (him looking after Charley, compulsively cleaning the toilets in Multiple Games and even getting Apollo to in AJ) because Mia did the same (and/or had him doing those chores while he was interning for her lol)
#text#aa#aj#ace attorney#Apollo Justice#whether or not Mia actually tells him to do this via Maya/Pearl is up for debate but I like to think Phoenix is a creature of habit#and/or can't stand change and/or can't let go and therefore wants to keep things as they were when it was Fey and Co.#maybe he just cares a lot abt his ~professional image~ but I like to think it's more than that#the only time we really see the office messy is once Trucy comes into the picture#but also he's hugely depressed by then and may or may not be living in his office (I wish I knew what the entire floorplan was tbh. whether#or not he moved into office once he lost his job or What y'know)#like maybe it got messy bc they were living there and/or didn't have anywhere to put Trucy's magic stuff lol#or it's there so she can practice while he does work/investigating? who's to say#anyway!!! that's what I've been thinking abt aside from that goof post during my latest rewatch of my fav playthrough of the trilogy tm
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this was meant to be a funny post, but then it got deep imao
not a relationship person, but i believe in their beliefs
#me when i lie#it always comes round to june and i’m always single and it’s quite honestly homophobic#imaooooo nah it’s not that deep i’m just coming on my period hehe x#literally keep saying the same thing about relationships#like i shouldn’t get into one just because i’m lonely#and rush things and completely blow up my life on impulse#but i don’t know any other way#need to learn to take it slow and *actually* take it slow#because the last time i “took it slow’’ it all went wrong#basically i want a relationship at some point but when all your relationships are the same#it really gets to you#and i keep thinking about (redacted) and how much i fucked it all up#but also like would we really have worked out?#if i’d actually believed everything she said would we be okay?#do i not have a life? or am i not allowing myself to have a life?#bc literally i think i’ve gotten so used to being on the floor that i’ve forgotten how to get up#and like if i really tried i could actually get what i want#and i know that sounds obvious but like bear with me#i’ve basically shoved myself into a deep dark hole and covered myself up with dirt and then forgotten i can dig myself out#i *can* be with someone seriously#like yeah it’s uncomfortable and scary and it means facing up to certain things that make my stomach hurt but i will never have a life if i#don’t do these things#i can’t allow myself to basically get pushed back into the closet#i can’t allow myself to be infantilised and treated like shit all the time#like even if i’m surviving purely via spite for a while it’s better than the alternative#instead of constantly talking about the same thing and how nothing ever changes i should actually change it#again obvious but i’m usually miles behind bc my brain… isn’t great is probably the kindest way i could put that#and that’s okay. like it’s hard but it’s okay#even if i’m living out my teenage years and doing the things i’d wished i’d done then at 25+ that’s fine#there’s a whole fucking world outside my bedroom door so maybe i should go actually see it?
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I finally saw the mean girls musical (the movie one) I have so many fucking thoughts oh my god
#thoughts#oni talks#mean girls 2024#I think I may be the only person to kind of like it? like don’t get me wrong it is kinda ROUGH but it has so much potential and there’s bits#and pieces that I actually really enjoy or wish they had more of or just aahh#I’ve been nonstop thinking about the ideal version in my head like there’s so much potential obviously I’m biased by like a lot#since for one I know I tend to like stuff other people hate or don’t like but for two this sequel was weirdly way more relatable so maybe#I’m just projecting from my own personal experiences but Idc the POTENTIAL THERES SO MUCH ID WANNA DO INSTEAD#like there’s so many little details and characterizations that I wish was expanded on or fleshed out and it’s just like it feels like either#half baked or that it’s gone through too many edits it’s like it’s scared to exist?? like there’s some differences I love and wish they lol#leaned into but it’s like it was terrified to be too different? or like they were rushing the end especially#like in my ideal form it’s a tv show coz I think they honestly have enough that could be genuinely expanded in a way more interesting way#via that format probably not like a super extended series like you COULD but you’d definitely need more expansion but I could see the potent#but like idk one SOLID musical season with expanded character story and not like one of those rush cram shows like a good solid one#like Regina’s characterization is so fascinating but also feels like slightly off and like they could’ve leaned way more into things?#like I think keeping Regina as a closeted lesbian gives the greatest potential and interest for an expanded story#like I loved maybe the first half of the movie the most like that one song she sang to manipulate Aaron would work so much more perfectly if#she’s singing it about/to Cady? I also think in my ideal brain an cool flashback episode for Janis and Regina would be so cool coz there’s#so much you could flesh out in a flashback than you could in a retelling which while I do like the retelling since it lets you imagine thing#I just! potential! I also want more of them interacting and I do think changing Janis to be a lesbian works if they leaned more into it?#I also think in my ideal form janis would have more comeuppance or acknowledgement of her shit? I also think an arc of Regina coming out#like one thing they missed from the original is Regina playing soccer at the end & I think they could hint more towards that and maybe lean#more into her at home life in an expanded story way coz her mom is clearly like… yikes. granted maybe some of my views on the movie are too#biased by personal experience but like the way she snaps at her mom usually in my experience isn’t out of nowhere? like parents behind#closed doors. or frustrations with what her mom has clearly been putting on her the way she tells her mom not to talk about her body is very#like idk a lot of the characters in this version feel more real to me bc they act really similar to people I know irl so the expanded story#could be cool. another one that in my ideal brain would have more is Gretchen and especially her relationships with Regina as well as with#that one guy and her parents I wanna see more of how that works and her arc to feel more meaningful when she dumps him & mentions family#also as much as I didn’t care much for the straight plot stuff there’s 100% missed potential there that I could see in the differences like#iirc in the original it’s regular algebra not AP calc which I think could’ve been used as an interesting characterization opportunity for
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Not me being mad that Moon can't assist Gale in becoming a god and overtaking Mystra- becoming a god as well like Gale promises, thus becoming some sort of mind flayer divine that can now guide and lead other independent mind flayers, perhaps even evolve them.
"The lesson is mortals shouldn't be after godhood-" MYSTRA WAS MORTAL BEFORE SHE BECAME A GOD! SHE HAS NO RIGHT TO TALK!
Also, my BG 1 and 2 boy is giving you MAD JUDGEMENT because he canonnly became a divine and is doing fabulous as the first non-evil god of death.
#just saying...wish it was an option#perhaps Ill headcanon this happens anyway#and yes drocsid became a god of death but natural death#like how autumn and winter come as the death of seasons or how old age comes in#or if sickness overtakes someone via non magical means#he despises the other death gods and his clerics are famous for hunting down their cultists#which is how drocsid came to know moon#he was going to kill her but someone triggered him#she reminded him so much of Ralos and Imoen#when he saw she had her memories robbed from her he JUMPED IN to influence her HARDCORE#and it did change her life forever#ralos would be very proud and stupidly enchanted by her little dragon sister#bg3#bg3 spoilers#baldurs gate 3 spoilers#baldurs gate 3#gale of waterdeep#my oc harvest moon
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Sorry for extreme straight posting but I was talking about straight dating to someone (I'm not out publicly).
Them: well you understand, men these days are just shy they don't know how to talk to a woman, they'are afraid of looking like fools.
Me: so over the past 50 years men somehow learned that opening with a butt pinch and the word 'sweet cheeks' is largely not acceptable and since then haven't managed to muster enough respect for a fellow human being to have decency to attempt an interesting conversation beyond 'hi' either on- or offline, and I'm supposed to forgive that as like a little quirk or something? I'm supposed to take the motherly role and teach them that and do the heavy lifting of teaching them how to respect and make an effort? No thanks I'll die alone.
#i mean idk how it is nowadays and I understand that in the past it was an extreme privilege to get lessons in like talking people#and courting people and etiquette or just absic decency and politeness which stems out of respect#i understand that especially etiquette standards stemmed from extremely classist world view but i also think modern schools and parents#don't even attempt anything similar#and it's so needed with the societal changes that it becomes part of education#i so wish people we would bring back the updated lessons in rhetoric and etiquette and just decent conversation#yes it's a skill yes we're all shy and introverted and anxious and depressed#and afraid to look like fools in front of a hot girl#but that's where developing this skill would come in handy it would calm the nerves and give ideas where to start#we cannot rely on insividuals watching some youtubers risking to fall into mra pickuper traps via algorhithms#it needs to be a part of curricums beyond kindergarten level of sharing is caring
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it’s interesting to me that for as much as i’m pretty well read in contemporary sci fi and have a decent feel for a pretty broad range of the genre when i start doing worldbuilding it’s always friends at the table i turn to for inspiration. that’s always the texture i’m trying to emulate. they weren’t lying that worldbuidling can critical!!!
#pers#it’s odd bc fatt isn’t a thing i interact with via making fanworks often#(not a flaw on its side or mine that just changes from thing to thing and i can’t predict it)#but every time i interact with a part of fatt im really excited about i turn around and say I Need To Go Do Worldbuilding#if anything the fact that it makes me say i wish i could make something like that is the highest honor i can offer it!!!!#anyways. this faction of robots is the ‘religious’ faction and they’re called the exegesis and worship amoebas. which feels very fatt
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yknow. kinda wish there was more eternal sunshine au's out there.
#ill elaborate later im just having passing thoughts#but something about memories ok ok ok#also i need to rewatch that movie now that something reminded me of it#its such a silly movie but also owie ow ow ow ow ow ow -#but note to self later it plays a lot on the 'love and loss than to not love at all'#to not love being explored via choosing to lose the memories of the other etc etc etc#snow speaks#i sometimes fiddle around w the au but like. its more just playing around w the concept#I MEAN LIKE. eternal sunshine au and sigcorp au. my most treasured lol#esp if you like finding paradise though???? like final moments thinking about would u want to change everything u had#but then. realizing youd be getting rid of all the joys you had in this life.#'wishing my life away' for a different one#yaddayaddayadda i like fiddling with memories and identity okay i need to gorge on stuff like that again so i can destroy my brain!#wait im realizing this only circles back to pandora hearts. this is terrible im so sorry lmao
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As a certified Akechi lover i probably should have more love for Legato. But it is just not the same.
Probably the level of cruelty involved + the fact that Akechi's ultimately a kid with a vendetta & too much power whereas Legato is someone who had no will to live so he filled that hole with the will of someone actively pursuing genocide.
Fantastic antagonist! Compelling narrative purpose! I love Legato as a character. I still want to drop kick him anytime I see him.
#speculation nation#major antagonist and foil to the protagonist does not a favorite character make#idk ive just been wondering why legato doesnt hit for me like he does some other people#considering how much i love akechi#& i guess it boils down to the Reasons for what they do. ultimately goro's doing this out of a twisted sense for justice#and an extreme anger derived from his childhood that is frankly justified#whereas legato is just... that dude is Fucked Up. i mean akechi is too but MAN.#while akechi sacrificed himself in the end to save the protagonist. legato FORCED the protagonist to kill him#via threatening someone vash cared about#two very different forms of suicidal self sacrifice. one born from the wish to change things at the last moment#for the sake of the protagonist. & using that as an excuse to say goodbye to this wretched life#vs legato living his life for the purpose of serving knives & if his purpose is erased there is no point to living#& he has been Obsessed with vash. a hatred to rival his love for knives. so it's one final Fuck You to force vash (known pacifist) to kill#a death born out of the sick wish to corrupt him. to force vash to kill him instead of killing himself.#LIKE it really is so fascinating. i could study them both under microscopes forever#but it's that difference in motivations that has goro being My Son and legato being a character i want to throw off a building#no hate to legato lovers Genuinely. fascinating character. im just trying to sort out my feelings on him.#trigun spoilers/#suicide ment/
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(Guy whose ringtone and alarm has been sunflower since 2018) Im the most normal about spiderverse
#I wish i was kidding i ripped sunflower off youtube via ytmp3 dot net before the movie even came out and never changed it because nothing co#mes close to the euphoria i feel when i hear sunflower start to play. I would not start my morning any other way shape or phorm#emf
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on quasi fic hiatus getting into writing analytical ao3 comments
#Me texting my friend like several weeks ago: i wish ppl critically engaged more in the comments#My friend: u miss college#(which is true)#Me the last couple of thoughtful fics Ive read (which haven't been a huge cuz I don't actually read that much fic): trying 2 b the change#With books I just give my friends in depth reviews via unfortunate audio msg LOL#I just idk. I like am very afraid of being accidentally mean in a comment#But also i often have a lot to say...#I know that critique comes with trust and like in comment DON'T DO THAT don't worry...#So trying to engage in a positive but interesting style#But also i know I can be accidentally aloof and mean and condescending which I never want 2 be :(#The worries... The worries#Also me reviewing the hockey fics from sez in her dms l#Lol
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the way cas goes from "god would prefer if you were dead and i would too tbh" to defending sam from angels who want to kill him for being an abomination is so sad because we never actually got to see them become friends. let alone friends to the point that theyre willing to die for each other. its just implied.
#they have moments but they dont have like. actual moments. their cute bonding moments and one on one screentime is only in later seasons#really wish we couldve seen cas' opinion of sam change instead of it just being. hes my friend now. when did that happen.#ill never get over it. seeing cas' views on monsters n humans slowly being changed via sam wouldve killed me
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me to me: okay so we’re gonna play through the whole series again to get a good feel for how my canon should be
Every single one of my OCs: actually we’re changing this story
#haunted one speaks#sobbing on my knees#you don’t understand#I think Keira lavellan may have just been#banished#via the inclusion of my newest insane creation#blood mage Surana#who SURPRISE#finds Cullen again#(I can’t help it the flavor is too good for me)#leaving me to have more options possibly with romances in DAI tho#HM HM HMHMHMHNBM#I wish they’d change his voice#as a gift to us as fans#so I wouldn’t feel like a fucking shit hesd sometimes just for liking the character
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I wish I could take my plushies with me to cool places and take cute pictures of them there. Sadly I don't go out often, and on the very rare occasions when I go, its with friends who'd probably think I'm weird for toting around a plushie to [insert activity here]
#for example I went to a fair last week and really wanted to bring someone like Soup or Squish with me#especially because other people would have stuffed animals there by winning games and stuff#but I thought my friends would think its weird to bring a stuffed animal to a fair vs winning one there#so I didn't bring one#also I was lowkey scared they might fly out of my bag during a ride#my datemate doesn't usually mind me taking plushies places with us as long as we're not on a fancy date like to a restaurant or smth#unless its to like. denny's or friendly's or a place like that. then its fine#but my datemate and I hardly ever go anywhere special beyond the mall or out to eat#We've gone to a park once but I didn't think to bring a plush#we do wanna go back but it's been too hot lately. when we do tho I will bring a buddy#we also go down to an area full of antique stores which is nearby a waterfront/marsh#I could take a plush there next time the weather is nice#the reason I haven't done that before is because my datemate was worried one of the shops would accuse me of stealing my own plush#if my plush has a handmade beaded necklace (especially with this name on it) I doubt I'd get accused or stealing tho#but other than those places I have nowhere to take my little guys to#I really want to go to some museums or the zoo at some point but I feel like those wishes are impossible to fill#mostly because I'd have to travel like 2 hours to get there via bus + subway + walking#and my datemate doesn't wanna go thru all that because we'd have to *gasp* wake up before 11 on our day off to travel!#he likes sleeping in. I don't really blame him#and it would be a long time traveling#especially compared to the time it'd take in a car vs the way we'd need to travel (our travel time would be cut in half with a car)#maybe in the future things will change and I can bring my plushies out with me to nice places#oh well#viti shoosh
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god the pain of seeing someone you blocked show up on your dash because they shot an ask
#i genuinely feel bad for blocking people sometimes even tho i try convincing myself i shouldn’t via all different kinds of means#it’s part of why i’m just. i’m not doing too good. better than i was months ago but damn.#still wish tumblr implemented a full on mute feature where you don’t see anything of them#instead of unnecessary changes to ui#vent
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love when someone's blatantly spying on the women's changing room at the pool 😬
#i was changing out of my swimsuit so it was all hanging out#and i wasnt sure so i went over to check and they closed and locked that door (side door to the pool)#so like they were clearly watching me for a min 😬😬😬#i didnt say anything to reception but now i wish i had#might go back tmro and be like 'hey you have a security issue'#via shitposts
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