#ChristmasOnTheSquare

[raurquiz]

#happybirthday #christinebaranski #actress #Lovesick #AddamsFamilyValues #TheBirdcage #Bulworth #CruelIntentions #HowtheGrinchStoleChristmas #TheBountyHunter #mammamia #HereWeGoAgain #IntotheWoods #ABadMomsChristmas #ChristmasontheSquare #TheGoodWife #TheGoodFight #TheGildedAge

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: DOLLY PARTON’S CHRISTMAS ON THE SQUARE

You guys. The movie event of the holiday season is finally here! We all know that Dolly Parton is the queen of everything but also specifically the queen of Christmas (I even did a presentation on this very subject back when movie theaters existed!!) and Dolly is only upping her Christmas output this year. Not only did she release A Holly Dolly Christmas (her first Christmas album in 30 years!) but also Dolly Parton’s Christmas on The Square which debuted November 22 on Netflix. If you like Christmas movies with just a little bit of Christmas and a lot of choreography, wigs, and of course DOLLY, this movie is for you! Let’s discuss.

First off, Dolly’s Christmas content exists on a whole other plane of reality so any review of it must also accept that this is completely divorced from real life/time/space/seasons/logic. If you found either Mamma Mia! film too grounded or verite, Dolly Christmas content is definitely for you. Also good and bad don’t exist in these movies either: JUST DOLLY.

Much like Dolly’s last (narrative) Christmas movie, Christmas of Many Colors: Circle of Love, I watched this with my 5yo daughter who had as many feelings about this as I did. Thus, we begin our journey on THE SQUARE which is not so much a town (or part of a town?) but a mood created on a film set populated by high kicking people outfitted entirely by J Crew. My daughter compared it to Cinderella 3 (her codename for the 1997 TV version of Cinderella) which similarly begins on a TV set square where too many people are doing choreography in preparation for a seasonal event. Note: also this movie was directed AND choreographed by none other than Debbie Effing Allen. SO.

In THE SQUARE, we are also introduced to Dolly herself, disguised as a homeless woman asking for change and most definitely greenscreened into the choreographed melee. Dolly does exist on an entirely different existential plane from the rest of us garbage people so she can greenscreen into whatever choreographed mess she likes!

We also meet Christine Baranski (praise be!) who plays a businesswoman who once lived in THE SQUARE but now has only returned to it RUIN EVERYTHING! Much like any businesswoman in a TV Christmas movie, she has no time for feelings, small towns, or lunch and has an assistant who feels the brunt of all her meanness. This character also relies on the convenient TV conceit that towns can be owned by one person, and she is that one person! And is gonna sell this town! She is basically The Grinch and Scrooge rolled into one and cares not for Christmas or real estate laws and has set out to evict the whole damn SQUARE (the town and the actual town square) on Christmas Eve!

This somehow also includes these FABULOUSLY COSTUMED holiday dogs in a wagon (which can definitely be rolled out of town...or anywhere.....) but whatever real estate laws and logic laws, Y’ALL ARE EVICTED, DOGS!!!!

I have said before that we should all be blessed enough to have Christine Baranski’s wig budget but I have to say - it ain’t as great here as it was in the Mamma Mia movies. Sure, it is better than about 99% of all TV wigs but it does have some texture and seam problems (look at that part!) which make it look far too unrealistic (because this movie IS SO REALISTIC). Clearly the wig budget in this movie went directly to Our Lady of Perpetual Wigs, Dolly.

And of course it did! Dolly demands only the best and finest wigs for her performance as ANGEL and I honestly cannot disagree with that! These wigs are MADE FOR AN ANGEL. Also when this part of the movie happened, my daughter confided in me that she’s always wanted to sit on a cloud (SAME, GIRL) but only Dolly can sit on clouds. Truly, Dolly is an angel in real life and maybe this movie actually is grounded in reality because I don’t even think Dolly required costuming or CGI effects. This is just how Dolly enters every room. ANGEL ELEGANZA! 

In the context of the film, however, Dolly is all the ghosts of a Christmas Carol rolled into one angel, sent to show the evil Christine Baranski the real meaning of Christmas and not being a person who wants to evict an entire town. 

She is aided by Christine Baranski’s put-upon assistant who is somehow an angel in training (a very realistic job title!!!!) I have to say that my very favorite parts of this movie are when Dolly shows up either in life or green screen just sitting on random furniture or appliances in Christine Baranski’s house in her pristinely white open toe heels with pantyhose underneath. THIS IS THE DREAM. Also her wigs are absolute perfection. Please take note, all wig budgets: GET YOURSELF A DOLLY WIG BUDGET OR NAH.

ALSO JENIFER LEWIS IS IN THIS!!! I think she plays a hairdresser and also Christine Baranski’s long lost best friend but mainly she plays my fashion, afro, and jewelry icon who I absolutely never want to be apart from ever. Much like Christine Baranski’s wig budget, may we all be blessed by Jenifer Lewis saying “it’s ok baby” to us at least once in our stupid lives. 

Anyway, the attractive townspeople in J Crew literally have ONE DAY to pack up all of their earthly sweaters and find new sweater barns to inhabit and roll all their Christmas dogs away THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS but instead decide to just RESIST (whatever that means, amiright?) and form a calming circle (which is actually super not calm and involves a lot of choreography) and just try to will Christine Baranski to do the right thing somehow.

BUT CHRISTINE IS AT A LOCAL BAR WHICH LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE’S LIVING ROOM AND WHICH HAS A BARMAID WHO IS AN ACTUAL CHILD. God bless this beautiful mess of a movie and Christine Baranski’s wig budget which somehow got better or maybe it’s just the lighting. Anyway, Christine Baranski finds out some terrible truths from this alcohol swigging child and also they share beautiful harmonies in a duet which I couldn’t possibly hum for you ever again. 

Also Treat Williams is in this!! He plays Christine Baranski’s old flame who she broke up with because she saw him with an engagement ring (FOR HER) near some lady at the most dodgy 70s disco nightmare in a school gym and decided to hook up with someone else and (!) have a secret baby which her dad made her give up! WHAT. Also, her dad had a lamp from THE SQUARE which now exists in Treat Williams’ olde curiosity shoppe and has a convenient bible in it which explains that her long-lost baby is now the preacher of THE SQUARE.

IF YOU ARE EVEN TRYING TO FOLLOW A PLOT AT THIS POINT I SALUTE YOU. Also much like everything Dolly touches, there is for sure a lot of Jesusy stuff here but the kind where black people and LGBTQ people go to the same church as the boring white people and everyone loves each other so fine? 

ALSO THERE IS A TERRIBLE SUBPLOT INVOLVING THE NEAR DEATH OF THAT BARMAID CHILD! My daughter found it very triggering and I found it beyond the valley of unnecessary but this is also a movie in which Christine Baranski almost runs over her brain doctor with her car TWICE AND ALSO DID I MENTION CHRISTINE BARANSKI MIGHT HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR IN THIS MOVIE YES REALLY.

In the end, absolutely nothing involved in this ramshackle nonsense plot matters at all because everyone decides to make the right life decisions and also not die from brain tumor or injuries OR sell a town BUT ALSO become angels in whatever your definition of angel is! And I hope your definition is: DOLLY PARTON.

I AM EXHAUSTED BY MY LOVE FOR THIS MOVIE AND DOLLY PARTON. 

Truly, nothing about this movie exists in reality but this year has been the most surreal year ever so I’m pretty sure this movie saved 2020? Or at least 2020′s Christmas.

VERDICT: WURQS

[fugandhi]

Dolly Parton’s “Christmas on The Square”

Have ya’ll seen Dolly Parton’s new Christmas Musical??? I just saw it & TOTALLY LOVED IT! I think it’s EXACTLY what a lot of folks can use right now for some Good Christmas Cheer! It’s very nice to see something so uplifting.

Oh, Dolly!

✝️💖😇

🎄📺👏

😃🎁🎉

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!

[canagirl95]

Enjoying last year's #DollyParton #Christmas special on #Netflix #ChristmasOnTheSquare 🎄 https://www.instagram.com/p/CXJ1QkkPN7w/?utm_medium=tumblr

[charliehopper]

Christmassy, yeah. #christmasonthesquare #redandgreen #smallbusinesssaturday #christmasalready (at Noblesville, Indiana) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWzMi1pL-JO/?utm_medium=tumblr

[immortalaccess]

Congratulations @dollyparton and @therealdebbieallen on your @televisionacad #emmys for @netflixfamily Television Movie and Choreography for #christmasonthesquare 🎄 #dollyparton #debbieallen #movie #film #family .. https://www.instagram.com/p/CTyAPMNsdpT/?utm_medium=tumblr

[fuxionglong]

I LoVe ThE wInTeR wEaThEr! #drawing #cartoon #illustration #funny #Caroling #ice #art #linework #sketchbook #christmas2020 #comicart #comix #inking #winter #christmasonthesquare #hoodieseason #polarbear #santa #northpole https://www.instagram.com/p/CIQQJPMDQs7/?igshid=1on27572xg323

[akbowenofficial]

Shout out to the Team! Way to go! I cannot wait to watch this. If you know me, you'll know I'm a sucker for Christmas Movies and shows.❣ #Repost @ect_agency • • • • • • SAVE THE DATE to see ECTErs @selahkjones , @mylie.stone , and @cruz_abelita in #ChristmasOnTheSquare This season, Christmas is a song in your heart. See the Netflix Family holiday musical directed by Debbie Allen and starring Dolly Parton, Christine Baranski, Jenifer Lewis, and many more talented folks. #ChristmasOnTheSquare Thanks for Reading! With LOVE, Ashley Kotera Bowen Follow Me: @Akbowenofficial @Therealakbowen . . . . . #christmasmovie #dollyparton #holidaycheer #hotcocoa #fallishere #kidactors #ect (at Atlanta, Georgia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CFvNGRNDecL/?igshid=1dgghu68qxdex

[bethkipps]

When it’s Christmas on the Square 2019 and I’m feelin the spirit.. #christmasonthesquare #reindeerears #festive #fashiononashoestring (at T.B. Turner Interior Design) https://www.instagram.com/p/B5xv9LojWET/?igshid=e8q4opbx9kbk

[ladiesofrnm]

itsjeaninemason FYC for #ChristmasOnTheSquare with my Dolly babes. @dollyparton @therealdebbieallen @jeniferlewisforreal @marylanehaskell & #ChristineBaranski. I love every second we spend together. Thank you @netflix & @warnerbrostv!

•Styling: @britt.theodora, Makeup: @carolinadali. 💛 @galvanlondon, @stuartweitzman•

[djchika]

Can’t wait to watch #ChristmasOnTheSquare! In the meantime here’s a doodle. ❄️

[charliehopper]

He’s not *pretending* to work! He’s not *miming* making wooden toys! Santa is using his workshop *as a workshop!* Pretty magical on the ol’ town square. On behalf of all the town kids (and all of us who like cool stuff), thanks, @gbdavisfolkart ! #santasworkshop #workshop #townsquare #christmasonthesquare #smallbusinesssaturday (at Noblesville, Indiana) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWzLuv2LwC5/?utm_medium=tumblr

[heatheredhandmades]

I'm a little late, but I finally have my December schedule up! I'm happy to say that I'll FINALLY be doing a market in Bryan/College Station! These will be my last markets of the year, so be sure to come out and do some shopping! . . As always, if there's something you've seen in my feed or at a previous market that you want, message me! The shipping deadlines for guaranteed delivery before Christmas are quickly approaching! . . . #scheduleupdate #schedule #marketschedule #market #craftmarket #localbusiness #localmarket #handmademarket #handmadeisbest #handmade #artisanmarket #bryantx #collegestationtx #collegestation #txmakercommunity #txartists #txmakers #lakewalk #christmasonthesquare #christmas #christmasshopping #christmasgifts #holidaygifts #holidayseason #holidaysale #holidayshopping #holidaymarket #shopsmall #shopsmallbusiness #smallbusiness https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq-ipHhgioq/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=squ1ffqm1l68

[mushpamensa]

Our LAST SHOW OF THE SEASON!!! Come out to Burgaw this Saturday Dec 16 from 10am-4pm for #christmasonthesquare We are having an ornament #supersale and a rack full of tees and tanks on sale as well! #mushpamensa #burgawnc #christmascraftshow (at Burgaw, North Carolina)

[don-lichterman]

Dolly Parton Holiday ASMR | Christmas Sounds On The Square | Netflix

Dolly Parton Holiday ASMR | Christmas Sounds On The Square | Netflix

A holly, #DollyParton #ASMR video with the cast of #ChristmasOnTheSquare. Jeanine Mason, Josh Segarra, Mary Lane Haskell, … Watch Full movie Free: Download Dolly Parton Holiday ASMR | Christmas Sounds On The Square | Netflix Here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=webs5EEH6wE