#Code zero bowling ball

[artfolega]

Code zero bowling ball

DOWNLOAD NOW Code zero bowling ball

#CODE ZERO BOWLING BALL PRO#

#CODE ZERO BOWLING BALL SERIES#

Our standard testing oil patterns consist of dry, medium, and oily house shots and also includes one Sport-compliant condition. Our three testers have delivery styles that cover the spectrum from stroker to tweener to cranker.

#CODE ZERO BOWLING BALL PRO#

In 2002, through a general consensus of bowlers, manufacturers, and pro shops, we implemented our current ball testing process of using three different testers and four different oil patterns. Some came about because a method or idea was agreed upon by most or all of the ball manufacturers, enabling us to be as consistent with our rating systems as possible. Others were made because it became apparent to us that our readers were being deprived of information that we were capable of providing. Readers themselves have suggested many of the changes. All of the changes involved in this evolution have one thing in common: they were made with you, the reader, in mind. It has been our constant goal to provide as much information as possible to our readers so that they can make the most informed choices possible. Our bowling ball review process has evolved over the years, as has ball technology itself. Our ball review process is 25+ years in the making Our journey continues to this day as we constantly strive to help our readers make the most informed bowling ball purchasing decisions possible. This process started in 1995 when we were the first bowling publication to print lengthy, independent studies on how different bowling balls reacted on-lane. Fellow opener Elgar had a couple of reprieves before he fell for 12, with Robinson, in for Matthew Potts in the only change to England’s side at Lord’s, denied his wicket by a marginal no-ball.For over 25 years, Bowling This Month has provided its readers with detailed and accurate bowling ball reviews of thousands of balls from most of bowling’s major manufacturers. The pitch is expected to offer more turn later in the game.Īnderson struck in just the fifth over when Erwee, fresh from a fine 73 at Lord’s, was well caught by diving wicketkeeper Ben Foakes off an inside edge for three. His thinking was influenced by the recall of off-spinner Simon Harmer in place of left-arm quick Marco Jansen, unfortunate to be dropped in the only change to the team that overwhelmed England by an innings and 12 runs in the first Test at Lord’s last week. That stand ended with the very first ball after tea when recalled seamer Ollie Robinson had Nortje lbw before Rabada was last man out after edging left-arm spinner Jack Leach to Root at slip.South Africa captain Dean Elgar, with the Proteas top of the World Test Championship table despite a fallible top order, took a calculated risk in batting first upon winning the toss despite overcast conditions that favoured fast bowling. But Rabada and Nortje (10) checked England’s progress with a ninth-wicket partnership of 35. The 40-year-old England great then struck twice in two balls to reduce South Africa to 92-7 on his way to a return of 3-32 in 15 overs. Rabada then dismissed Root for his third low score this series, although first slip Sarel Erwee needed four attempts to hold the outside edge.Īnderson, who has now played in 97 Tests in England and three in Wales, had earlier made the initial breakthrough when - bowling from the end named after him on his Lancashire home ground - he removed Erwee during a morning session where the Proteas slumped to 77-5 at lunch. South Africa’s innings ended in sunshine but the improved batting conditions initially did England little good, with Alex Lees caught behind off Lungi Ngidi before Ollie Pope, who made a promising 23, was clean bowled by a 90 mph delivery from express quick Anrich Nortje. But by stumps England had recovered to 111-3, a deficit of 40 runs, with struggling opener Zak Crawley surviving to be 17 not out off 77 balls.īy contrast Jonny Bairstow was 38 not out off 45 balls, including six typically well-struck fours, during an unbroken stand of 68 with Crawley.

#CODE ZERO BOWLING BALL SERIES#

Kagiso Rabada starred with both bat and ball as the Proteas fought back, the fast bowler top-scoring with 36 and then dismissing star batsman Joe Root for just nine as England, bidding to level this three-match series at 1-1, slumped to 43-3. England great James Anderson marked becoming the first player to appear in 100 home Tests by leading the attack with three wickets as South Africa were dismissed for just 151 in yesterday’s first day of the second Test at Old Trafford.

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[tonkirace]

Code zero bowling ball

#Code zero bowling ball code

Ball manufacturers developed closely guarded proprietary blends including ground-up material such as glass, ceramic or rubber, to enhance friction. In the "particle-enhanced" balls developed in the late 1990s, microscopic particles embedded in reactive coverstocks reach through oil lane coatings to provide even greater traction. The early 1990s brought development of reactive resin ("reactive") balls by introducing additives in urethane surface materials to create microscopic oil-absorbing pores that increase the "tackiness" that enhances traction. Urethane balls developed more friction with the newly developed polyurethane lane finishes of the day, sparking the evolution of coverstock technology to pursue ever-stronger hooks with correspondingly higher entry angles. Polyester ("plastic") balls were introduced in 1959 and, despite developing less hook-generating lane friction than rubber balls, by the 1970s plastic dominated over rubber balls which then became obsolete with the early-1980s development of polyurethane ("urethane") balls. īowling balls were made of lignum vitae (hardwood) until the 1905 introduction of rubber balls. Ĭoverstock technology See the section titled, Effect of coverstock, core and layout on ball motionĪ rough timeline of ten-pin bowling ball coverstock technology. These figures are up from one ounce (28 grams) following the Augrule change. The USBC permits three ounces (85 grams) of static side weight and three ounces (85 grams) of top weight. The USBC banned weight holes (balance holes) in competition, effective August 1, 2020, to prevent their changing ball dynamics. USBC specifications include physical requirements for weight (≤16 pounds (7.3 kg)), diameter (8.500 inches (21.59 cm)-8.595 inches (21.83 cm)), surface hardness, surface roughness, hole drilling limitations (example: a single balance hole including the thumb hole for "two-handed" bowlers ), balance, plug limitations, and exterior markings (structural and commercial), as well as requirements for dynamic performance characteristics such as radius of gyration (RG 2.46-2.80), RG differential (≤0.06), and coefficient of friction (≤0.32). The USBC and World Bowling promulgate bowling ball specifications. Reactive resin coverstocks increase hook potential. This ball has a pin up layout (note green dot), with the mass bias indicator also visible. Most productions are UNIQUE productions and the exclusivity and sometimes very specially adapted performance / type plate often make them an "I want an article".A custom-drilled reactive resin ball, having custom finger inserts in a fingertip grip (fingers insert only to first knuckle). They are NOT available on the US market (also known as "Asian Release"). OEM balls are mostly balls that were made exclusively for a specific market With a Storm ball in your hands, you’ll want for nothing else.

#Code zero bowling ball code

Never has a pearlized ball been able to dig in deep like the Code Master. Midlane read and impressive backend come in spades with this chemistry. This advanced structural formula distributes power to the right place at the right time to provide reliable transitions and superior control. NeX Pearl enhances every facet of your game. Deep within its DNA is a blueprint for tenacity that’s invisible to the naked eye yet evident on the lanes. So, while the Code Master colors are unmistakable, they’re not simply a matter of allure. Every aspect of a ball must serve a purpose. A superior factory finish signifies its place atop the pecking order. Dynamic cores and potent covers build a solid foundation – one enhanced by industry-leading longevity. The engineering may be complicated, but the simple truth of the Code Master is as confidence inspiring as anything else we’ve built to date. But what happens when you have a ball that’s capable of offering both? Well, at Storm, we wanted to find out, and that’s how we came up with the Code Master, a ball that’s so good, it’s almost cheating! Others glide through the front part of the lane with ease, saving all of their energy for an explosive backend reaction. Some bowling balls sink their teeth into the lane immediately in order to provide traction in oil.

[mmani-e]

Throwin stuff at a wall and seein what sticks for a deltarune crossover thingy

Jevil + Jax = Jackalock(?)

Pomni + Spamton = Codester(?)

Jax went full wacky when a mysterious benefactor showed him the truth of the world, becoming obsessed with locks, keys, and taking pranks too far. Started abstracting, locked himself inside a suit even as he started abstracting just to keep the torment on his peers longer but was eventually captured and locked away.

Pomni started off as a regular programmer till a mysterious benefactor inspired her to program and decode shit like a monster with the aid of a special headset. Eventually the influence of the benefactor made her realize that the world they're in is also comprised of ones and zeroes, but she continues to blame it all on the headset - which she can no longer take off - as being the source of all issue and taking care of it will remove her from the fake code world.

Jax's design is based off of an asylum inmate, and just inmates in general, the ball and chain is his weapon because of the silly bowling ball image, I didn't wanna give him a keyblade lol. Pomni is a mix between an office worker and a magician's assistant. When she goes neo the headset looks like caine's mouth and she just looks like a bigger female Caine.

[thelordofdarkreunion]

Things the Scoundrels Are No Longer Allowed to Do Part III

Based on “Skippy’s List,” this is a continuation of Things the Scoundrels are No Longer Allowed to Do.  I hope you like it.

Part I

https://thelordofdarkreunion.tumblr.com/post/637424500291600384/a-list-of-things-the-scoundrels-are-no-longer

Part II

https://thelordofdarkreunion.tumblr.com/post/660088048783097856/things-the-scoundrels-are-no-longer-allowed-to-do

371.   The “dibs” system is not a recognized method of promotion in the military.

372.   High recoil guns and roller skates are not an accepted method of transportation.

373.   You can’t find the true names of demons in the phone book.

374.   If the top floor is too well defended, you can’t just blow off the next to top floor.

375.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to elope with anyone for any reason.

376.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to give anyone preemptive last rites.

377.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to name droids IC-UP.

378.   The male and female members of the Scoundrels are no longer allowed to hold competitions against each other outside the Scoundrels fleet.  The last time that happened, the governor’s palace on Fildenfal got destroyed.

379.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to fish with flamethrowers.

380.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to call radio talk shows in the middle of missions.

381.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to re-create any scenes from Grease.

382.    Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

383.   No amount of genetic engineering can turn pigs kosher.

384.   There is not a map written in invisible ink on the back of the Declaration of Independence.

385.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to run for political office.  Especially with the slogans “vote for me or I’ll kill you all,” or “because I’m just that awesome.”

386.   When asked who their greatest role model is, the Scoundrels are no longer allowed to answer Agent Smith from The Matrix.

387.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to shoot any god in the face just to brag that they did so.

388.   Stain glass windows are not standard features on tanks.  Stop giving the Imperium ideas.

389.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use guns to communicate in Morse code.

390.   If it is cheaper to buy a new starship than reload your weapon, then there is a problem.

391.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to announce their arrival with eight straight hours of orbital bombardment.

392.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to put small restaurants on the bridges of their starships.

393.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to rent ad space on the outsides of their starships.

394.   The Dirty Harry “Are you feeling lucky, punk?” speech does not really work with fully automatic pistols.

395.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to play High Speed Dirt while making emergency orbital re-entry.

396.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to convince shapeshifters to change into any celebrities or murderous dictators.

397.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to scan alien ambassadors for “cooties.”

398.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use government resources to pay their restaurant bills.

399.   Most places frown upon using ammunition as currency.

400.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to mount bayonets on flamethrowers.

401.   You can’t thwart Reaper cyber attacks by installing Norton antivirus.

402.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to sing along with the elevator music.

403.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use the Enterprise’s Holodeck to recreate scenes from Caligula.

404.   Starting a flame war on the internet is bad.  Starting a flame war not on the internet is much, much worse.

405.   If it takes more than five minutes for the debris to stop falling, you need a smaller gun.

406.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to name newly discovered planets after themselves.

407.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to build Gatling Gatling guns.

408.   Klingons do not have French accents, and it is wrong to state otherwise.

409.   Darth Nihilus does not “just need a hug.”

410.   Dr. Suess rhymes do not have any part in exorcisms.

411.   Unitards are not part of any of our governments’ dress uniforms.

412.   Using heavy artillery in assassinations is just being lazy.

413.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to buy onesie pajamas to “raise crew morale.”

414.   You can’t just shoot a hole in the surface of Mars.

415.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to surf in active war zones.

416.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to put discotheques, bowling alleys, or movie theaters in their starships.

417.   “Getting uppity” is not a capital offense.

418.   Deer season is restricted to rifles and bows, and, thus, the Scoundrels are no longer allowed to hunt deer using Greco-Roman wrestling.

419.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to start telethons.

420.   Imperial Star Destroyers do not have help desks.

421.   The Covenant does not have an IT department.

422.   Using ventriloquism to trick your enemies into fighting each other is fine.  Using ventriloquism to trick your superior officers in fighting is not.

423.   You can’t suplex Tyranid monstrosities.

424.   Summary Execution Man is not an appropriate name for a superhero.

425.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to ask the Ultramarines why their chapter’s primary color isn’t ultramarine.

426.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to recreate scenes from Blues Brothers.

427.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to tell AI’s that only humans can divide by zero.

428.   The Scoundrels do not need to know the melting point of Borg.

429.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to post-date letters of marque.

430.   The city of Boise, Idaho, does not need a dark, brooding vigilante of the night.

431.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to run up their enemies’ cable bills by ordering PPV movies on their TVs.

432.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to improvise, “wing”, or fabricate alien funeral rites.

433.   The Scoundrels will keep all eldritch artifacts of unspeakable power out of the reach of small children.

434.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to ask tech-priests if they are AC or DC.

435.   “Medium rare” is not a phaser setting.

436.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to hold AT-AT drag races.

437.   Any gun that’s wattage is best described in scientific notation is not allowed.

438.   Off duty Space Marines wear robes, not tank tops and speedos.

439.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to enter or exit buildings while playing Carolus Rex.

440.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to brew any alcohol that can double as jet fuel.

441.   Vrul do not appreciate the Socratic method.

442.   Snipers don’t appreciate their spotters yelling “Boom!  Headshot!”

443.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to do anything they saw Nicholas Cage do.

444.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to call suicide prevention hotlines on behalf of the Death Korps of Krieg.

445.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to make Liechtenstein a world superpower.

446.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to make any plan that hinges on their opponent having a peanut allergy.

447.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to hack into the national address systems of any government that could be considered communist and broadcast Economics 101 lessons over them.

448.   Apex Predator Pilots will not respond to jury summons.

449.   They do not make civilian models of mini guns, and the Scoundrels are discouraged to visit any country that does.

450.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to regift cursed artifacts.

451.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to convince super soldiers to get pompadour, Afro, or macaroni hairstyles.

452.   You can’t plea bargain mass regicide, even if the rulers in question were incredibly corrupt.

453.   When asked who the greatest human being of all time was, the Scoundrels are no longer allowed to answer Millard Fillmore.  (Who’s Millard Fillmore?)

454.   There will be no more product placement in the mission evaluation videos.

455.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to commission statues of themselves, especially if said statue is meant to be mounted on the outside of their starships.

456.   Mission preparation does not include a mani/pedi.

457.   It is best if Master Chief does not go through the metal detector in customs.

458.   “Call in the Deathwatch and wait for the screams to stop” is not automatically Plan A.

459.   Despite its tremendous cost to benefit ratio, bubble wrap is not a staple in black op missions.

460.   If challenged to a competition by an individual of a species whose average height is below 5’5”, the Scoundrels are no longer allowed to choose basketball.

461.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to question ONI agents or Ordo Malleus operatives on why a town of 4,000 people with zero strategic value warranted a 100 megaton nuke.

462.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to genetically engineer walruses to ballroom dance.

463.   In retrospect, it was a bad idea to show Imperial Inquisitors Monty Python skits.

464.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to engage in any “research” involving more than a gallon of super balls.

465.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to lease out Halo Rings, even if they include the option to buy.

466.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to be in possession of any carbonated beverages while in possession of Mentos brand mints.  The last time that happened, they somehow managed to cause an earthquake near Indonesia.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to claim responsibility for natural disasters unless they were actually responsible for them.

467.   The Scoundrels will refrain from encouraging tech-priests to develop emotional attachments to heavy ordinance.

468.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to form political parties, especially based on themselves.

469.   Anesthetic is not “only for sissies.”

470.   If the person who posted a bounty asks for proof, the Scoundrels are no longer allowed to bring back the bounty’s reanimated corpse.

471.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to abuse homonyms.

472.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to purchase modern art with government funds.

473.   “The Chaos Gods are bad, so, therefore we should reforge and summon the Nightbringer to destroy them” is a really, really bad idea.

474.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to start a cult that worships Richard Sharpe, Jason Bourne, or John Wick.

475.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to abuse union bylaws to exploit holes in security.

476.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to expose individuals to Reaper technology, Sith holocrons and Chaos artifacts to “see which form of corruption will win.”

477.   Militaristic, highly honorable species, such as the Drev or Klingon, do not appreciate you fighting dirty in their trials by combat.

478.   If asked to choose a religion, the Scoundrels cannot make their choice solely by the greatest number of sexual positions it allows.

479.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to rate their favorite alien species by which ones have reproductive systems closest to humanity.

480.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to dual wield .50 caliber machine guns.

481.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to say “I am Alpharius.”  Ever.

482.   There is no such thing as a right to a strip search.

483.   While it is customary to initiate a duel by striking with a gauntlet, it is also customary to do so at subsonic speeds.

484.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use heavy artillery for industrial purposes.

485.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use wombats for medicinal purposes.

486.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to spend the entirety of their bonus pay on flamethrowers.

487.   The following aren’t acceptable seconds in duels: Space Marine Chapter Masters (even if you are on a first name basis with them), intelligent demon swords, the primarch of Palaven, Prussia.

488.   The Scoundrels will keep the amount of sexual innuendo to a minimum during autopsy reports.

489.   If you are given a wish by an immortal, you are to leave out the words “you incompetent prick.”

490.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to organize skeet shoots with office furniture.

491.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to genetically engineer any animal from the continent of Australia.

492.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to start wars over what the best polearm is.

493.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to give shout-outs in ransom notes.

494.   You can’t learn a language by only learning the profanities of said language.  Even if the Russians in your crews disagree.

495.   If a party is black tie, that doesn’t mean just painted on the armor.

496.   Every day is not Mardi Gras.

497.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to sneak into the Sanctum Imperialis or the Celzex throne room disguised as a documentary crew.  Especially on behalf of Trazyn the Infinite.

498.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to threaten sentient monsters by telling Cajun restaurants their location.

499.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to abuse the “kids eat free” rule at any restaurant.

500.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to compare Starfleet uniforms to the Wiggles.

501.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to dump napalm in fire sprinkler tanks.

502.   Support gunships are for air support, not beer runs.

503.   While acting as sniper spotters, the Scoundrels are no longer allowed to play I Spy.

504.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to call enemy corporation’s tech support for help with breaking into their computer network.

505.  “Humor me” is not an acceptable targeting parameter on robotic sentry guns.

506.   None of the Scoundrels need 10 tons of duct tape for any reason whatsoever.

507.   It is not a race to strip mine a planet.

508.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to buy any major league sports team.

509.   Asking a taxidermist to stuff a deer head is OK.  Asking the same taxidermist to stuff a full-size rancor is not.

510.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use necron “My Will Be Done” programs on Reapers.

511.   Any argument with your significant other will be done verbally and in person, not across the battlefield using heavy artillery as Morse code.

512.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to imitate Captain Jack Sparrow in any way, shape, or form.

513.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use Siri as their ship’s central computer.

514.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to play the theme from Jaws on missions to aquatic planets.

515.   There are only so many flavors of beef jerky, and the Scoundrels are no longer allowed to create new ones.

516.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to create their own frozen pizza lines.

517.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to go trick-or-treating, especially dressed as themselves.

518.   Peter Quill is not allowed to quote Parks and Recreation.

519.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to communicate exclusively in a computer programming language.

520.   The answer to a Flood invasion is not to ask junior personnel if they’re “bad enough dudes” to contain it.

521.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to ask weapons corporations to sponsor children’s charities.

522.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to conduct interviews on new personnel.  Especially not if they specifically ask for them.

523.   Ghillie suits are not formal wear.

524.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to summarily execute anyone who causes a M.R.V.N. to display a sad face.

525.   “Kill ‘em all and let God sort it out” is not a valid battle plan.

526.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to enter diplomatic conferences via the Old Time Rock and Roll slide.  Especially not in their underwear.

527.   “Excessive flatulence” is not a crime punishable by death.

528.   “Oops, I missed” does not excuse missing a shot by that much.

529.   Even if you claim you hit exactly what you were aiming at.

530.   The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to antagonize anyone who can kill them with their minds.  

There we have it.  I hope you enjoyed, and if you have any suggestions to add to the list, feel free to tell me!

[biillyhargroves]

Anon of the tbi prompt (and Hopper "Adopt Billy prompt). I would love more. Feel free to combine the two as well, or keep them separate.

i know where you’ve been (connected to you got me)(fic requests open)

Billy is on the floor. 

Max sees it happen- sees his father raise his fists and seem to grow three feet taller in the process, sees Billy shudder as he fights to stand his ground, sees him tremble and collapse like a tree in a storm. Neil looms over him, covers his shivering shadow until Max can’t see him anymore. He delivers one harsh kick to Billy’s side and Billy groans. Max can see him curled up in a ball as his father stalks away. 

She shrinks back into her room, shutting the door and praying that her step-father doesn’t notice her. She wishes to invisible, and only lets out her breath when her wish seems to be granted. She hears Neil’s footsteps stomp down the hall. She hears the front door open and shut. She hears a car engine, and then she hears a soft whimper break the following silence.

Her mother is out- she had lunch planned with her girlfriends, and though she’d asked Max if she’d like to go, Max knew she couldn’t leave Billy. He has only been home from the hospital for a week and has been hit more times than Max can count on her hands. 

It always starts small, like when Billy slept too late on first morning home or when he turns out lights when he comes in rooms because their harsh glare hurts his eyes. It starts small and then grows, like a snowball rolled down hill. It builds and builds and then it crashes with screaming and flying fists. She thought- or maybe she just hoped -that Neil would be kinder as his son heals, but it seems that Billy’s injuries- weaknesses in Neil’s eyes -only anger him more. The migraines are nuisances. When Billy throws up, Neil berates him like a child. He withholds medicine because he thinks that Billy should handle pain “like a man”, whatever that means. (He even keeps Billy’s antibiotics from him, which Max has seen her mother slip to him when Neil isn’t looking. The Mayfields take over his care, guided by the doctor’s instructions hidden in Susan’s purse). 

But now, Susan is not home, and Neil has stormed off, and Billy is on the floor. 

Max sneaks out of her room, rip-toeing until she is certain they are alone. She listens for the rolling tires of her step-father’s old Ford, but they don’t come, and in their absence she hurries the rest of the way to Billy’s room. 

“Billy?” she says, but he doesn’t answer her. His head is turned down and his hair hides his face. His arms are wrapped protectively around his middle and sweat soaks through his shirt. On closer inspection, Max sees the fabric over his chest darkening in shades of red. “Billy?! Hey. Hey, come on. Billy, talk to me.”

She touches his shoulder, timidly at first, and then she grabs it and shakes him as gently as she can. She thinks she hears him say a four letter word, but isn’t quite sure. 

“Billy?” she says again. “Where does it hurt?” 

When he still doesn't answer, Max pulls herself to her feet. She runs back to her room and grabs the walkie talkie that she never lets stray too fair. She pulls up the antenna and presses down the button and says, “Does anyone copy? This is Max, does anyone copy? I...I need help. Just...code red, okay? Code red. I need help.” 

She moves through she house with the walkie in one hand. She goes into the bathroom and pulls the first aid kit from underneath the sink. She repeats, “Code red. Come on. Does anybody copy? Answer me. This is Max. I have a code red.” over and over again as she fills a bowl with water and squeezes hand soap into it. “This is Max,” she says once more. “Someone please copy.” 

She hears a noise from Billy’s room- something like a cough, or a hiccup, and she she pokes her head into the hall she can see Billy shaking in a way that she can only describe as violent. She abandons her supplies and hurries to him, leaving the radio on the lip of the sink. 

“Billy?” she says. He is trying to push himself onto hands and knees, and when Max thinks he is going to be sick she makes a move for the waste bin by his bed, but Billy grabs her wrist. “What?” she asks. “What is it?” 

He doesn’t say anything, but he uses his hold on her to start to pull himself up. 

“Woah, what the shit? Billy, stop. Stay down.” Even as she speaks, she knows the point is moot. He won’t listen, and her only choice is to help him to his feet and to let him lean on her as they make their way slowly into the bathroom. He collapses beside the toilet the moment they get there, and Max barely gets the lid open in time for him to start heaving. With no other way to help him, Max kneels beside him, rubbing circles into his back the way her mother did for when she had the stomach flu last spring. “Okay,” she says. “It’s okay.” 

In the flurry of motion, she hardly noticed the crackle of static from the walkie on the sink.

“Max, this is Dustin. I’m with Steve. We copy. We’re on our way.”

She doesn’t think that Billy hears this, and this is a small relief in itself. Billy is still Billy. He is still proud. He still doesn’t want to be helped, or to have all of his dorky little sister’s dorky little friends gawk at him in his misery. She keeps her attention on him so that he won’t know. When she rises, it is to fill a Dixie cup with water. She hands it to him and he swishes it around in his mouth and spits. He reaches to flush the toilet, but his hand shakes, and Max guides it back down as she hits the lever for him. 

Max lets silence linger between them for a few steady beats before she dives into the questions the doctors told the family to ask. “Do you know your name?” 

Billy doesn’t answer. He stays there with one arm hugging the bowl, breathing heavily. When he lets Max guide him away and leans his back against the bathtub, his eyes look glossy and red. Max feels her heart in her throat and she does her best to swallow it back down. The stain on his shirt is growing- a deep crimson blotch coming from wounds still held together by surgical thread. 

“Let me look,” Max says, pointing to his chest. Billy looks down and frowns at the stain. She waits for him to take off his shirt, and when he doesn't, Max reaches for the hem. Billy swats her away. “Stop it,” Max says. “I need to look.”

She doesn’t hear the knock at the front door, or the subsequent squeak of the hinges at is eased open. She only turns around when she hears a clamor of footsteps coming down the hall, stiffening and rising, moving herself protectively in front of Billy and only relaxing when she sees Eleven in the doorway. 

Mike is in tow, and behind him comes Will and Lucas and, finally, Dustin and Steve. 

“We heard you,” El says. 

“What’s going on?” asks Lucas. Max looks down at her feet, and then she moves aside so that they can all see Billy. He is looking at them, but doesn’t seem to fully see them. 

“His...his dad,” Max says. “I don’t know what happened, but...his dad really pounded on him and now he won’t say anything. I...I don’t know what to do. I think he made it worse.”

The great it is the brain injury that no one has formally told Billy he has. Max thinks he knows- thinks he’s pieced it together from all the conversations about him that happen right in front him, his name batted about as if he is not right there. 

“Okay,” Steve says, pushing ahead of the kids and stepping into the room. Billy curls away from his shadow, seems like he’s trying to escape. Steve looks to Max, who gives a slight nod, and then he kneels down in front of Billy. “Hey,” he says, getting Billy’s eyes to zero in on him. “It’s okay, alright? We’re here to help. No one is going to hurt you.” 

Billy looks from Steve to the rest of the party, then back to Steve again. Max comes to his other side, once again motioning toward the hem of his shirt.

“Billy,” she says. “You’re hurt. We just want to see how bad.”

“No one’s here to hurt you,” Steve repeats. He turns to the boys, who are crammed in the doorway. “Hey, don’t crowd him. Make yourselves useful.”

They jolt into motion. Lucas grabs the first aid kid, and Will takes the bowl of water that Max had left half-filled in the bowl of the sink. Dustin and Mike hurry to Billy’s room in search of a fresh shirt. Max tells El where to find her mother’s purse, the one with the doctor’s orders and the prescription pain medication that Neil won’t let Billy have. She fetches them as Max and Steve get Billy to take off his shirt and carefully remove the blood-soaked gauze wrapped tight around his chest. 

“He didn’t rip any stitches,” Steve says. “At least, I don’t think.”

“He’s lucky,” Max says. “That shithead got him good.” Then, she focuses her attention back on Billy. “I’m going to clean it, okay? I know words aren’t your strong suit right now-” at this, Billy grunts, but he proves Max’s point by saying nothing, “-but just let me know if I’m hurting you.” 

Billy lets them clean him up, hissing only once when the rubbing alcohol first touches his skin. He lets them put new gauze on the wound. He hesitates when El offers him pills, but dry-swallows them before Max can finish filling a cup with water. His eyes squint against the light, and when he starts to try to escape it, Max asks Will to shut off the lights. He starts in the bathroom, then moves down the hall and all the way into Billy’s room. Steve hauls Billy to his feet and helps him down the hall and back into bed. 

“Be careful,” Max says, following a step behind them. “His head hurts.”

“I think his everything hurts,” Lucas says, referencing the blossoming bruises they all saw on Billy’s bare stomach. Max glares at him, and he holds up his hands. “I meant that for real. I feel bad for the guy.” 

“He doesn’t need you to feel bad for him,” Max snaps. “He just needs help.” 

“That’s what we came for,” Dustin assures here.

“Yeah,” Mike agrees.

“We’re here to help,” Will says. 

“I think,” El says, and everyone turns to face her, “I can help him rest. He...he needs to.”

“Okay,” Max says. “Have at it.” 

Steve deposits Billy on his bed, and El hovers behind him, Max just a few feet behind her and the rest of the party gathered in the doorway. As Billy tries to get himself comfortable, El approaches him. She points to his head.

“Can I?” she asks, and Billy’s brows furrow. He doesn’t seem to understand, but he doesn’t shy away when El takes a seat on the edge of his head. “I...I won’t hurt you. I promise.”

She reaches for him, and Billy winces slightly as her fingertips graze his temple. The others watch as El closes her eyes and Billy does, too. They watch as he lowers his head against the pillow and his eyes flutter shut. El lingers a few moments longer before she lets go of him, and when she turns back to the group Max asks, “What did you do?”

“I...showed him happy memories,” El explains. “So that he can dream about them.” 

Max thanks her with a hug that lasts longer than usual, and then she offers the group some food for their trouble. They pour bags of chips into plastic bowls in the kitchen and park themselves on the couch, all of them resigned to taking watch for as long as it took, to keep their friends safe. 

[naruwitch]

Code Geass: Paladins of Voltron Chapter 9: The Fall of the Castle of Lions

"The monster fell from the sky! It was an epic battle, but Voltron was victorious!" The Arusian King exclaimed from the stairs. Three Arusians were on top of each other, seven others were standing on each other with a sword and shield. They were reenacting the battle that Voltron had fought just the previous day. Allura had announced that they would be leaving the planet tomorrow, but as thanks, had invited the Arusian village to the Castle for a farewell feast and party.

The three Arusians threw a ball at the seven, and they ended up collapsing underneath. "...No! I said Voltron was victorious!" The seven Arusians quickly leaped back to their feet as the three collapsed in defeat. The rest of the Arusians cheered and raised their drinking goblets as the Princess watched in amusement.

"Thank you, Your Majesty, for that…" she raised an eyebrow and grimaced slightly, "...wonderful production," she then changed to the most innocent smile she could. "It saddens me that we must leave tomorrow, but we must continue our battle with Zarkon and spread peace throughout the universe." She then turned to the King himself, her hands clasped, "Your Highness… Please accept this gift," she opened her hands to reveal an Altean communicator. The king took the device apprehensively, "This will allow you to contact us anytime you need help." The king smiled in gratitude, "Arus will be the first planet in the Voltron Alliance."

"Hoorah!" the King exclaimed, holding the communicator in the air as his subjects cheered again.

Milly, Rivalz, and Shirley were in a little group in the crowd, holding small cups of their own.

"You know, we should get something like that," Shirley said.

"Like what?" Rivalz asked, confused.

"You know, like a cheer. Like, a team cheer that we do," the Orange Paladin clarified.

"Oh! I like where you're going with that, Shirley!" Milly giggled, "Hmmm… how about: I say 'Vol' and you say 'Tron.' Vol-"

"-Tron!" the two exclaimed.

"Vol-"

"-Tron!"

"YES! It's perfect! Now we just need the others in on it!" Milly winked before sipping her drink-before immediately spitting it back into her cup, a full-body shiver followed. She zipped over to Coran, a peeved look on her face, "Coran, what is this?!"

"Oh, this is Nunvill, the Nectar of the Gods," the advisor smiled after sipping his glass.

Milly stuck out her tongue, disgusted, "It tastes more like hotdog water and feet!"

Missing the disgust in her tone, Coran smiled, "Yeah, makes a wonderful hair tonic as well." He stuck his hand in the glass before sprinkling some onto his mustache, causing it to fluff up, before sliding gracefully away. Despite trying to maintain manners, this only caused the Ashford President to gag again.

Kallen was leaning against the wall, afar off from the crowd, scowling. She never was much of a party person to begin with, but her mind was on other things as well. It had now been officially four to five days since they all went missing. She'd be shocked if the news hadn't caught wind of their disappearances by now. She knew her step-mom knew she snuck out of the house now and then, but the longest she'd ever stayed away was about thirty-six hours. She was probably one of the first to contact authorities. Not because she loved Kallen, but to save her name and reputation.

Not to mention the Black Knights and Zero. She was their most potent Knightmare pilot. With her gone, they would have to find a way to compensate for their loss. And it wouldn't be good on their end. Plus, she shivered, Ohgi was probably worried sick about her as well. Just like-

Kallen sighed and stared up at the ceiling. She hated to admit it, but she missed her mom. Her real mom. Who worked and endured ridicule in the Stadtfeld home just to stay by her. Why couldn't that woman just move on and get a life already?

"I'm sorry guys…" she whispered, continuing to brood in the corner.

Meanwhile, Shirley and Rivalz were attempting to assist Milly, who was still having problems with the Nunvill drink. Rivalz poked her, where she fell, rather comedically on her side.

Rai and Suzaku were also standing apart from the crowd. But for entirely different reasons than Kallen. They were tense as if waiting for a whole army of Galra to come barging in through the wide-open gates.

"Not feeling well?" Coran asked them as he approached the two, "Try some Nunvill. Settles the stomach and brightens your smile."

"Coran, I don't think it's a good idea to be letting everyone wander in and out of the Castle like this. It doesn't seem safe." Suzaku admitted.

"Oh, these Arusian won't hurt anything-"

Coran was interrupted as two Arusians came floating by, hanging from a hovering plate of drinks.

"-Much." he cringed as the platter collided with another one. "Besides, it's only fair to let them see the inside of a castle that's been sitting on their planet for so long."

"Okay, but who knows when Zarkon will attack again?" Rai asked pointedly.

Suzaku pushed himself away from the wall, "I'm gonna do a perimeter check. Just in case. Coming Rai?"

"Sure!" the Green Paladin said, following close behind.

o~o

Meanwhile, far across the way from the Castle, two adversaries laid in wait for the perfect opportunity to strike.

"Commander Sendak, the sentries are in position around the Arusian village," Haxus said.

Sendak grinned. He was eager to gain revenge on the Paladins and kill the Princess personally. Emperor Zarkon would reward him generously for doing so. He zoomed in to get a better look at the castle with his unique Galra eye.

"Luck is on our side. Look, the Castle defenses are down. The door is wide open. With all these Arusians coming in and out, it should be nothing for you to infiltrate."

Haxus looked through his binoculars and spotted Rai walking around with Rover, the drone that he had reprogramed. "I may not have to. Look. The green one has a Galra drone they've repurposed. If I can just get close enough to clone its signature code, I can send our bomb drone in undetected."

Sendak grinned sinisterly, "I knew you would not disappoint me, Haxus."

Haxus got up from his crouch next to him and left to find a spot closer to the entrance, to fulfill the plan.

o~o

As everyone was having fun and socializing, Lelouch finally emerged and was out carrying around a small backpack, discreetly stocking it with some of the food from the party.

Up above, Allura gazed down at the paladins with a smile, with the light blue mouse, Plachu, perched on her shoulder, "Look at them, the new Paladins of Voltron. The fate of the universe is on their shoulders."

She watched as Shirley took a drink of Nunvill. Her eyes widened impossibly before she spewed it out in Rivalz's face, his head ducked down as if to cover his eyes.

"Ow! My eyes!" Rivalz exclaimed with a cackle as he had put two of the stick snacks into his sockets. The two, along with Milly and the Arusians surrounding them, threw back their heads laughing.

Allura cocked an eyebrow at the display. Not exactly the most proper Paladin behavior, but she saw that they weren't necessarily causing trouble, and allowed it to slide. "... I must portray strength so no one can tell how concerned I am about the fate of our mission."

Plachu chittered close to her ear as he perched on her shoulder. Allura's eyes widened before she blushed and smiled sheepishly, "Let's... keep that a secret."

He chittered again quietly. Allura's face became intrigued. "Who else has secrets?"

Plachu leaped down and joined his siblings on the ramp. He then took Platt's cheeks and squished them upwards like he was trying to eat something he probably should've ate in smaller bites.

"Rivalz tried to eat what?!" Allura laughed, "That is rather amusing. What other secrets?"

The tiny mouse, Chulatt, hopped onto Plachu's head and styled his hair to look curly like Milly's. He then grabbed his tail and, with a devious smirk, spun it around like a lasso.

Allura frowned slightly, "That sounds like something Milly would attempt."

Chulatt then dropped down back to the ramp, and standing in front of Chuchule, the pink mouse, offered his paw out to her. Chuchule placed it there, and Chulatt lightly kissed it, as Chuchule batted her eyes and gave a flattering squeak.

"Lelouch is a what?!" Allura reeled back in shock. She quickly zeroed in on the Black Paladin, who was in the process of casually dumping another plate of snacks into his backpack. He suddenly frowned and looked around. He spotted a stray wooden pick in one of the snacks that an Arusian was carrying. He even proceeded to dig it between two of his canines before pulling it out. He frowned before tossing it behind him, apparently satisfied.

Allura scowled skeptically, as she doubted even by Earth standards that that was how royalty acted. "Hmmm...Are you sure?" she asked. The mice squeaked in confirmation, "I'm getting to the bottom of this."

Meanwhile, back down below, Rivalz stared skeptically at the Nunvill still in his cup. "I guess we should get used to this space juice. Who knows when we'll get back home again?"

"Yeah…" Milly frowned, swirling her cup. "If ever…"

"It's our new life," Kallen suddenly snapped next to them, "get used to it!"

"What do you mean, Kallen?" Shirley asked.

"Well think about it, if this Zarkon character has been ruling for 10,000 years, how long do you think it will take for us to fix it? You know, if we live through it?"

"You're right…" Shirley frowned, picking up a bowl of food as a tray floated past.

Kallen rolled her eyes and sighed again. 'Seriously?! Can they not understand that?!' she ranted as she slinked back into the crowd.

"You know… ever since we got here, Kallen's been acting like a completely different person." Shirley said.

"Yeah," Rivalz nodded, "what happened to the sick, frail Kallen Stadtfeld we know? It's like she's never been sick! Not to say that's bad! If anything, I think it's a big improvement. She's a lot more attractive now."

"True, definitely love the spikes she's added to her locks," Milly commented.

"Kallen has a point, though…" Shirley murmured. "It could take forever for us to fight Zarkon. And who knows what will happen. Some of us might not come back!"

"Yeah. Right." Rivalz nodded solemnly.

"But hey! What do you think the chances are of us landing on another glitter planet?" Milly asked, trying to change the subject to cheer them up. "Oh! Or a planet made up completely out of nachos? That would be one for the journals!"

"Well, there's only one planet with beautiful beaches, pizza shack looking over the water, and the garlic knots and... my mom's hugs…" Rivalz eyes started flooding with tears before ducking his head, "I'm sorry. I think this Nunvill is getting to me. I gotta go."

Milly and Shirley looked after him in concern. Coran also watched him go up the stairs with a concerned frown, the conversation he was having with two Arusians briefly forgotten.

As Rivalz was hurrying up the stairs, Allura passed him coming down, making a beeline for Lelouch, his backpack still flung over his shoulder.

"So, Lelouch," Allura started, trying to sound casual, "we haven't had a chance to really... talk. Tell me about yourself."

Lelouch blinked in confusion for a moment, wondering why the sudden interest, but he sighed and relented, thinking a couple of facts should satisfy her. "Hmmm… well, my favorite color is indigo, I prefer turkey over ham sandwiches, and my favorite tea is jasmine, with a small dollop of honey in it. I also like peanut butter and peanut butter cookies. But I refuse to eat peanuts on their own. They're far too dry and salty."

Lelouch tried to escape from the princess after that, figuring that was enough. Allura blocked his path, "I-I suppose I was thinking of something a little more... personal?" She asked with a knowing wink. That sounded suspicious to him. "We do have a lot in common."

Lelouch's eyes widened in alarm. Then they narrowed as his Geass activated, "What do you mean?" he demanded as the sigil flew into Allura's eyes.

The princess's eyes glowed with a red ring around the iris as her face went slack. "I mean that fact that we are both prince and princess of royalty," she replied monotonously.

Lelouch gasped before he grit his teeth in anger, "How'd you find out about that?!"

"The mice told me. They overheard a conversation with you and C.C. about it."

Lelouch sighed. That was his fault then. The fact that the mice shared a mental link with the princess completely slipped his memory. Satisfied that he had the information, he broke the command off.

Allura blinked before she refocused on Lelouch, and then noticed his strangely aggravated face. She quickly backtracked, "I'm sorry! I overstepped my bounds. I just want you to know that you can confide in me. If there's anything you ever want to talk about..." She leaned in uncomfortably close to Lelouch's face, "Anything…"

Though a little irritated, he might as well say it now, since she was technically asking. "Fine, I do have something to tell you."

"I had a feeling~" Allura sang with a giddy smile, "What is it?"

"I'm leaving Voltron, and going back to Earth."

Allura took a breath like she was about to speak something else entirely different. Her mouth turned into a confused frown, "Wait, what?!"

"You heard correctly; I'm going back to Earth. With C.C. Tonight," he informed with a tone of finality.

"Lelouch, you can't. You're one of seven Paladins," her hands landed on Lelouch's shoulders, "You have a sacred trust to defend the universe."

"Well, I regret to tell you, Princess, but I have previous engagements and priorities back home!" Lelouch exclaimed, back away defensively, "Tell me, did you have any other family besides your parents? A brother or sister, perhaps?"

"Well- no but-!" Allura protested.

"Well, I do!" Lelouch exclaimed, "My mother is dead, and my father abandoned my sister and I. She's blind and crippled. She can't move unless she uses a wheelchair! She needs help with almost everything! Don't you get it?! If I'm not there for her, who will be?! And I'll die first before I let my father get his filthy hands on her again!"

Allura stood in frozen shock. She had never seen Lelouch this emotional about something. Where was the calm, stoic, Black Paladin she was familiar with?

He drew in a sharp breath, eyes glossy with tears, "I'm sorry. But I should inform the others about this."

o~o

Outside, Rai and Suzaku stood guard at the entrance, squinting out into the darkness. Rover was hovering closer to them, assisting in patrol.

"Rai, Suzaku?" Lelouch asked as he came up behind them.

"What's up, Lelouch?" Suzaku asked.

"I need to talk to you about something."

Off to the side, however, no one noticed the galra Haxus hiding in the rocky outcroppings. He leaned out and pointed a device at the drone and trio. It quickly scanned them as the three started walking back to the Castle. It got full encryption of the drones codes, which he promptly prepared a copy of it.

"Signature code cloned," he muttered. He quickly pulled back behind the rocks when Rai looked over in his directions with narrowed eyes. The two then followed Lelouch back into the castle. He pulled out a drone of his own and scanned the code into it. Its glow went from red to bright blue, copying Rover's code perfectly. "Bomb activated."

The fake Rover started hovering towards the entrance, following the trio from a short distance as Haxus leaped over the rocks and retreated to Sendak's position. Now all they needed to do was wait.

o~o

Rivalz sat sulking in the castle's bridge. His head was rested on one of his fists as thoughts rolled through his head. He missed his mom, sisters, uncle, and baby cousin. What Kallen said struck closer to home than he anticipated, because she was right! This was war! People died, and who was to say that he wouldn't be one of them?

"Mind if I join you?" Coran asked gently as he hopped down from the platform Rivalz was sitting against.

"How far away from Earth do you think we are, Coran?" Rivalz asked. Maybe if he saw the distance, and that it wasn't far at all, it could reassure him.

"Let's take a look," Coran went up to the central control and brought up the holographic map, the planets, and stars surrounding them.

"Earth is over here," Coran said, pointing to the space that they marked for the paladins, "And we're aaaaaaall... the waaaaay... oveeeeer..." The kept swiping his hand over the map. It seemed to take forever. And it didn't help Rivalz's sudden homesickness at all.

"You ever notice how far the planets are from each other, Coran?" he asked forlornly.

"Yes," Coran replied, still swiping, "haven't you been paying attention?"

"Yeah," Rivalz walked up next to him, "but I mean, like, they're really, really far away. Like, say, Earth? It's so far; I can't even see it. The... The blue oceans, the white clouds, green grass... I c—-I-I... I can't see any of it!" he confessed, looking down with a depressed gaze.

Coran gazed at the Blue Paladin with sympathy, "You miss Earth. I understand. I miss Altea."

"I know we're supposed to be brave Paladins and Defenders of the Universe or whatever, but, honestly? I just want to go home." Rivalz complained as he looked down, depressed stare still prominent.

"If I could go home, I would," Coran confessed, looking down and sad as well now.

"I miss the rain," Rivalz said randomly, "and splashing in puddles."

"Rain?" Coran asked, intrigued.

"Yeah. It's water that falls from the sky?" Rivalz provided, looking up at their Milky Way Galaxy.

"Oh, we had that on Altea. Only, it wasn't water, more like rocks. Razor-sharp and boiling-hot. Oh, they could knock a hole right in your head."

"Sounds fun," Rivalz said unenthusiastically.

"Yeah."

o~o

The Galra drone that was rigged continued to fly down the hall completely undetected. It scanned each place as it went, looking for a convenient place to go off. Its destination was the bridge, where the primary power source of the Castle was. Once that was taken out, the Castle would be completely defenseless.

o~o

"Lelouch, no!" Suzaku exclaimed. He, Rai, Allura, and the other Paladins, except Rivalz, were gathered in one of the halls. Lelouch had just broken to them the news of his departure.

"Nunnally needs me Suzaku," Lelouch said, "and I have other things I need to do on Earth. And besides, with the way things are right now, should the Galra attack, no one would stand a chance, not even Britannia."

"Lelouch, you can't just leave!" Milly argued, putting her hands on her hips.

"We're not in school, Milly, so you can't tell me what to do. Besides, C.C. and I have a pod ready to go already. She's probably waiting for me."

"Okay, seriously, Lelouch, what's with you and that C.C. chick?!" Kallen suddenly exclaimed angrily, "She sneaks onto the Blue Lion, following you, and now you're leaving with her?!"

"And if you leave, Lelouch, we can't form Voltron!" Rai said, angry as well, "And that means we can't defend the universe against Zarkon. You're not the only one with a family; we all have one. All these Arusians have families. Everyone in the universe has families. My mom and sister are still out there as well, you know!"

"Yeah, I have a family. They live on Earth. I want to be with them. Is that—Is that, like, a thing that can happen?" Shirley spoke up timidly.

"You want to leave, too?" Allura asked, aghast.

"Of course I do. Look, Voltron is super-cool, don't get me wrong, but I never signed up for a lifetime in space fighting aliens." Shirley said, trying to make Allura understand.

"Lelouch," Milly said, "I care about Nunnally as well. We all do. But think about the bigger picture. You're putting the life of one person over the lives of everyone else in the entire galaxy—!"

"—Guys, wait!" Suzaku finally spoke, "This isn't how a team should operate. People have to want to be a part of it. They can't be forced," Suzaku looked at Lelouch, with a small desperate gleam in his eye, "Lelouch, If you want to leave, we won't try to stop you. But, please, just think about what you're doing."

Lelouch inhaled deeply, "I'm sorry, but you need to find someone else to pilot the Black Lion."

As Lelouch started walking away, Kallen suddenly caught up to him, grabbing his arm, "Fine! Then I'm going with you too!"

"Wha- Kallen!" Allura protested.

"Look," Kallen interrupted, "I hate the idea of leaving this too. But he has a point. Our world right now is completely unprepared for an attack. We need to at least warn them! So that's what we'll do," she then walked up to the princess and whispered, "and maybe I can convince him to come back."

Allura gasped slightly as Lelouch, and now Kallen both started walking away.

"I can't believe it. This team is falling apart. How will we ever form Voltron?"

o~o

Rivalz and Coran were finally leaving the bridge when the fake Rover came hovering in. They had a good talk about their homeworlds, and Rivalz had to admit he was feeling a bit better.

"Hey, Rover!" he greeted as it passed him. It continued in its path until it stopped right next to the crystal.

Rivalz suddenly stopped, noticing something crucial. "Wait… Where's Rai?" he asked as he turned around slowly.

As he looked back at the drone, it suddenly started beeping and flashing red.

Rivalz gasped, realizing what was happening.

"Coran, look out!" He shouted, tackling the Altean as the drone exploded in an inferno.

o~o

The explosion was felt throughout the Castle. The Arusians panicked and started running in all directions and out of the Castle. Suzaku, Rai, Milly, Shirley, and Allura all gasped in horror as small pieces of debris fell around them. Lelouch, Kallen, and C.C., who had been waiting in the shuttle for them, also paused, staring in terror.

Soon the lights on the Castle of Lions flickered out. No power was flowing from any part of the ship. They were now truly stuck.

o~o

Coran groaned as he slowly got up. The bridge was dark; smoke was gently cascading around him. He blinked several times until he figured out what he was seeing. He heard footsteps as Allura, C.C., and the other Paladins ran into the rooming, some coughing from the smoke.

"What happened?!" Lelouch exclaimed as Suzaku and Kallen helped Coran up.

"Ugh… I'm not sure," Coran said as he stood up. The smoke slowly cleared to confirm Allura's worst fear, though.

"The Crystal!" It was in shards everywhere. Their power was gone, and therefore, nothing was going to work until they got a new one. What was even more horrifying, however, was the still figure almost directly underneath it.

"Rivalz!" the Princess gasped.

Rai ran forward and gently picked up the Blue Paladin, cradling his neck, "Rivalz?" The Blue Paladin groaned in pain, "Rivalz!"

"We have to get Rivalz to the infirmary!" Shirley exclaimed.

"Without the Crystal, the Castle has no power," Allura said frantically.

"Meaning that those healing pods won't work either," Lelouch said before cursing.

"He doesn't look good…" Milly said, kneeling next to Rai, tears gathering in her eyes.

"Lion warriors, our village is under attack!" the Arusian King cried, running into the room, "We need help!"

"Let's get to the Lions!" Suzaku said.

"You can't. They're sealed in their hangars. There's no way to get them out. We're defenseless," Allura explained frantically.

"Will you not help us?!" the king asked, eyes shifting between the Paladins in a panic.

"We will. We just-"

Rivalz groaned in pain again, interrupting Kallen. She looked back at her friend, biting her lip.

"Well… this is quite the predicament," C.C. said as if she was talking about the weather.

Ignoring the immortal's tone, Coran straightened himself, taking his arm away from Shirley, who had had it draped over her shoulder.

"We have to get a new Crystal to get the Castle working again. But, to get a new Crystal, we need a ship."

"Use the pod we were loading," Lelouch said, pointing down the hall they came from, "the bay door should still be open!"

"I can use the scanner on the pod to see if there's a Balmera nearby. Shirley, C.C., you both come with me. I'll need some help with carrying the Crystal."

"You're making women do all the heavy lifting? How very ungentleman-like of you," C.C. quipped sarcastically, casually crossing her arms.

"A Balmera?" Shirley asked, sounding out the strange word.

"It's where the Crystals come from. I'll tell you two about it on the way!" the advisor said as he, Shirley, C.C., Kallen, and Lelouch exited the room for the hanger.

"I'll go see what's happening at the Arusian village," Suzaku said to Milly and Rai.

"I'll go with you, Suzaku. I brought this on the poor Arusians." Allura said, a layer of guilt in her tone.

"Okay, we'll look after Rivalz and guard the Castle." the Green Paladin said.

o~o

Coran, Shirley, and C.C. had gotten settled in the pod as the advisor turned the scanner on. Lelouch and Kallen were standing outside it.

"It's our first bit of luck," the Altean said, looking at the star map, "There's a source not too far. We won't need a wormhole to get there, thankfully."

Shirley quickly adjusted her helmet as the screen lit up with the path to take.

"Hold on; Rai's been doing some tinkering around here. He told me he added some modifications to some of the shuttles. I'll try and explain them the best I can," Lelouch said, leaning in and pointing at one of the screens. "The first change is a cloaking device that he reverse-engineered from the invisible walls on the training deck. The second is a tank of booster fuel that he mounted on the fuel line."

Coran, however, didn't look very impressed with the second option, "Using that during flight would turn the whole pod into a bomb!"

Shirley paled considerably, and even C.C. looked a little nervous. Not to say she'd never been blown up before, but the experience was never pleasant. And especially not out in space.

"Oh-kay, maybe refrain from using that modification then," Lelouch said, looking a little apologetic. "Mental note, have Rai take it off the shuttles ASAP when this is done."

"Ya think?" Kallen asked sarcastically.

"Are we ready, then?" Shirley asked Coran.

"Yes, let's go!" Coran lowered the pod window as it prepared for take-off. The engines ignited, and it hovered as it approached the bay doors.

"Good luck!" Lelouch said, giving Shirley a smile and thumbs up. Kallen waved after them.

From inside the pod, Shirley blushed and sent a thumbs-up back before it shot out the doors and into the Arusian night sky.

o~o

Meanwhile, Rai and Milly were slowly transporting Rivalz to the medical wing. Milly was holding his legs while Rai had hoisted him up by the shoulders. They planned to use some of the other supplies inside and their limited knowledge of medical treatment to try and help heal some of the wounds.

"Hang on buddy, help's on the way," Rai said. He stumbled when Milly came to an abrupt stop. She was staring at the entrance to the Castle, petrified. Rai followed her gaze, and his blood ran cold. There was a small Galra troop coming towards them. They were dragging a large purple crystal behind them, and the one leading the assault was-

"Sendak!" Rai snarled, gritting his teeth.

"He's still alive," Milly whispered. The two Paladins quickly guided Rivalz body to lie down by the wall.

"Stay here!" Rai said as he raced for the entrance. He met the Galra outside and was the only thing standing between him and the Castle. Both parties stopped.

"Stand aside," Sendak said as the two continued the standoff.

"No!" Rai shouted, whipping out his Bayard in a flash of light, readying himself for battle, "You're not getting in!"

"Yes, I am." Sendak thrust his robot arm out towards the Green Paladin. Rai raised his arms to block, but the arm actually grabbed him and dragged him further outside towards the Galra forces. Rai was dragged along the ground with a yell before landing right in front of Sendak. He barely had time to dodge backward as the large arm came crashing down on the ground.

Rai grunted as he pulled out his Bayard again, this time igniting it to full charge. He ran forward with a battle cry, arm ready to swing his Bayard inward. Sendak raised his arm to block, and the katar scraped across its surface, not even scratching it! He quickly leaped up and swung again, causing Sendak to have to step back to dodge. Rai ducked and rolled out of the way of another strike, flipping backward to get out of range.

He roared again as he sent a frontal attack forward, the Bayard crackling with electricity. Sendak's fist also returned with an onslaught of his own, punching his metal hand in Rai's direction. The attacks clashed, the two stuck in a stalemate, though Rai was starting to pant a little.

Sendak's eye narrowed before widening, his robot one whirling. He then smirked, "I see you spent some time with the Druids. They do love to experiment. Too bad you're letting such an ability go to waste."

"Huh?" Rai blinked. What was he talking about? He didn't get the chance to ask this though as the Sendak's arm fluctuated and launched the Green Paladin backward into the Castle. Rai skidded and tumbled back to where Milly and Rivalz were hiding.

"Rai!" Milly gasped as he finally stopped next to them. She couldn't inspect his injuries, as they both had to jump away from Sendak's arm again. It slammed so hard into the ground it left a small crater, and the force sent the two Paladins tumbling back. Sendak was already using the momentum of his attack to propel himself at them again. This time though, Rai managed to grab Sendak by the shoulder and throw him away from them. The Galra roared in fury as Rai ran at him again, Bayard activated. The two were soon locked in another stalemate, Rai's Bayard by Sendak's neck and Sendak's claws under Rai's chin. If either one of them made a move, they were as good as dead.

"No!" Milly cried out from behind him. Turning around, Rai saw that some sentries had grabbed Rivalz and had thrown him to the ground. Milly was standing behind Rai, surrounded, her Bayard out in its kusarigama form. She looked like she was going to attack, but Haxus was also holding a gun to the Blue Paladin's head, looking her in the eye, daring her to try.

Milly looked back at Rai, terror plain to see on her face. This moment of distraction was enough for Sendak to launch Rai forward, catching the Yellow Paladin off balance and knocking them both unconscious. The two collapsed right by their fallen comrade, prisoners of war to the Galra.

"Voltron is ours," Sendak proclaimed with a sinister grin.

o~o

"Damn!" Lelouch whispered as he and Kallen hid behind the balcony.

"What do we do?!" Kallen asked urgently.

"Let's get out of here. It won't help anyone if we're caught as well," the Black Paladin said as the two scrambled down the hallway. Lelouch's brain worked furiously to come up with a plan to get the Galra out of the Castle and save the others in time.

o~o

The Arusian village was in flames. Blasts from guns desecrating the structures and leaving the homes of the people in ruins. The King and his people could only watch in terror as everything was slowly engulfed. Suzaku and Allura quickly joined them at the top.

"What's happening?" Allura asked.

"Look! Attackers!" the King pointed towards the town square. There were multiple Galra sentries with blasters in their hands, and explosions went off in many directions.

"I'll go in for a closer look. Stay here with them," Suzaku ordered as he slid down the wall, gritting his teeth.

"Suzaku!" Allura called out in alarm.

The Purple Paladin leaped into the blaze, using his jet pack to slow his descent. He sneaked through the burning village, hiding behind buildings in case he was attacked… and he wasn't. Warning bells went off in his head as he got closer to the square. He looked through the window of one of the huts, well hidden from the sentries. As the watertower crashed to the ground, one of the droids also fell to its side, limp.

Suzaku blinked, "What?!" Now that he had a closer look, he saw that all of the sentries were damaged and not operating. Some of them were even mounted on stilts and had their arms wrapped around their guns with cloth.

His eyes suddenly widened in realization, "Oh no! They tricked us!"

Allura's face paled as Suzaku's voice rang into her ears through her earrings, "It was just a diversion to separate us and thin the Castle's defenses!" Allura whipped her head around, her eyes widening in terror as she gazed at the defenseless castle.

o~o

Inside the Castle, the working sentries plugged the Galra crystal into the Castle's central power system.

"Power up the Castle," Sendak order, the symbol of the Galra Empire flashed to life on the screens. The once soothing blue lights of the Castle of Lions was soon flooded with a sinister violet. Even the lights outside had switched to match its new master's.

o~o

As the system reactivated, the screens on all the Lion hangers flashed to life, showing all seven felines sitting dormant in their chambers. The Galran commander smirked cruelly in victory. "The Lions are all in their bays. Raising particle barrier. Begin launch sequence."

Suzaku and Allura ran as fast as their legs could carry them as the now violet particle barrier descended over the Castle. The wall slammed to the ground just as the two collided with it. Suzaku slammed his fist against it, but it didn't budge.

"We're too late… No!" Suzaku shouted in anger.

"They have control of the Castle. They're taking Voltron!" Allura gasped in fear.

o~o

After checking over the crystal one last time, and glancing at his three unconscious prisoners, Sendak turned to Haxus, "Make contact with Emperor Zarkon."

His fellow Galra nodded and pressed a few buttons on the holopads. The screen in the middle blinked to life as a link was made. Soon the Emperor's sinister face flashed onto the screen.

"Sendak," he acknowledged.

"My mission is complete," Sendak debriefed, grinning in triumph, "I've captured the Altean castle, along with all of the Voltron Lions. I am currently preparing for launch and will be delivering them all to you shortly."

"This news is most pleasing," Zarkon said, showing little expression, "You've done your duty. Vrepit Sa!"

"Vrepit Sa!" saluted as the communication ended, "Haxus, ready the Castle for take off."

"Yes, Commander."

o~o

Suzaku morphed his Bayard to its katana form, looking at Allura desperately, "Can we break through the barrier?"

"No. And whoever has taken the Castle has a Crystal, which means they'll be able to fly the ship. We have to stop them," she answered.

"How are we going to do that?" he asked.

"Suzaku, can you hear me?"

The Purple Paladin gasped at the voice, "Lelouch?! Is that you?!"

"Yes, Kallen's with me as well."

"Where are you two?"

"We're inside the Castle. We managed to evade capture… for now," the Britannian Prince answered.

"Sendak has taken over, and he's preparing for launch. He's got Rai, Milly, and Rivalz." Kallen added in the same hushed tone. Rover, who they ran into as they escaped down the hallway, was hovering next to them.

"Lelouch, Kallen, listen. If they've started the launch sequence, then we don't have much time before liftoff to stop it." Allura informed them urgently.

"Tell us what to do," Lelouch ordered.

"You have to get down to the main engine control panel and disconnect the primary turbine from the Central Energy Chamber," Allura instructed.

o~o

Inside, Lelouch tapped his armor gauntlet, pulling up a screen. It contained a map of the Castle's interior. He pushed a couple more commands, and soon a red path lead him to the chamber the princess was talking about.

"If you can do that, Sendak will have to reset the whole system. That might give us enough time to find a way to stop them."

Lelouch glanced at Kallen. They both nodded before shooting up from their hiding place and running down the hall. At that very moment, the fate of the very universe rested on their shoulders.

o~o

Shirley never knew how alone she felt until the pod was finally out of range of the Castle. She felt the bond she shared with Orange (they had to come up with some better names for their Lions) fade and then disappear as they traveled through the stars. Now being alone in her own mind felt… weird. Like a crucial part of her spirit, her very being had been removed. She shivered as the sensation seemed to deepen the more they traveled.

"Are we almost there?" C.C. asked from the back seat. She sounded bored.

"Almost, don't get your hair in a knot. It's not safe to pilot this pod any faster," Coran said.

Finally, a planet that had several large rock pikes and edged mountain ranges came into view.

"Is that the Balmera planet with the crystals?" Shirley asked.

"It's not a planet. Balmera are ancient animals. Petrified, but still alive," Coran informed her. Shirley looked out in shock at the 'animal' they were propelling closer towards. She had no idea that creatures this big existed. Even C.C. looked intrigued at this revelation.

"Their bodies naturally create the crystals that help power many Altean ships. I often accompanied my grandfather to visit these majestic creatures when he was building the Castle of Lions," Coran reminisced. The pod screen pulled up a picture of a Balmera from 10,000 years ago, the ground sparkled with blue crystals. "I'll never forget the first time I saw the sparkling surface of a Balmera. You're both in for quite a treat."

As they finally broke through the cloud surface; however, it wasn't sparkling landscapes that greeted them, but a wasteland with large, dark-colored machinery drilled into the Balmera's surface.

"Oh, no!" Coran gasped, as they flew over several gaping holes in the surface, some more reinforced than others, "This is horrifying! The Galra have turned this into a mining colony! Oh, they're completely destroying it! They have no regard for the poor creature!"

"Incoming, we've been spotted," C.C. informed the Altean as a large shadow drew over them.

"Hailing unidentified craft. State your ship ID, entry code, and landing destination," the ship's robotic voice demanded as it hovered over them.

"Um… what do we do?" Shirley asked, starting to panic.

Before Coran could reply, C.C. leaned forward, "Hailing Galra aircraft," she spoke monotonously, "this is ship number XG21G2D4. Requesting permission to land at once."

"There's no ship of that number expected to come through here," the voice said, the ship descending to almost being on top of them, "land immediately and prepare to be boarded."

"With pleasure," C.C. smirked before turning to Coran, who was looking at her with an expression of shock. A similar expression was on Shirley's face as well, "See you down below."

Coran blinked before it understanding C.C.'s silent message as he yanked back on the control handle. The pod rocketed backward from underneath the ship. Shirley held on for dear life as she screamed in terror, while C.C. braced herself against the wall.

The shuttle swerved left and right to avoid the blasts from the pursuing Galra ship.

Then Coran had an idea, "Not done yet. Hang on!"

The pod pitched downward into one of the gaping holes in the Balmera. It was large enough that the ship would've fit comfortably in the middle, longwise. Shirley continued to scream as they descended at breakneck speed into the abyss.

It was about thirty seconds of straight diving before the Orange Paladin eventually got control of herself enough to ask, "How deep is this thing?!"

"Look out!" C.C. cried as one of the beams appeared right in front of them. Coran managed to swerve the pod out of the way just in time. It barely missed knicking the post.

The swerve did cause Coran to lose control of the pod, though. The trio tumbled the rest of the way down before landing ungracefully at the bottom with a lurch.

Shirley sat there in shock for about a solid minute before having the courage and strength to move again. The window of the pod flickered out as the passengers groaned from the impact. C.C. could already feel the bruises forming on her immortal body.

Shirley wrenched off her helmet, her hair flowing down her back (as she didn't have time to pull it into a bun or ponytail) and looked around the bottom of the crater. She could barely see the light of the surface above them. She gazed to her right, which had a small tunnel leading away from the crash site.

She froze and grabbed her Bayard as two sets of glowing yellow eyes stared back at her.

"Uh, Coran. What lives at the bottom of these mines?"

o~o

Back at the Castle of Lions, Kallen used her clawed Bayard to wrench the elevator shaft doors open. She shoved against them with her feet and back. She panted as Lelouch looked over her leg and down toward the shaft below. Rover hovered over them, before positioning himself above the center of the shaft.

"Okay, here goes nothing," Lelouch leaped forward, using his jetpack to propel him and jumped across the chasm to the lower ledge underneath. Kallen grunted, letting the doors slam closed before following after him. The faithful robot drone quickly tailed behind them in case they needed help.

o~o

"Run main cluster activation sequence," Sendak ordered.

"Activation sequence initiated," Haxus confirmed. "Powering up for launch."

o~o

After wrenching another pair of doors open, the two paladins, though exhausted, finally made it to the Central Energy Chamber. The ball of pure energy was alight with a blue glow.

"Okay, Princess, we're near the turbine," Lelouch said.

"It looks like its started!" Kallen added.

o~o

"Then you'll have to hurry," Allura said, "Cross the catwalk to the main column in the center."

o~o

The two Paladins panted as they sprinted to the center column. They couldn't afford to waste any more time!

"Okay, we're there," Kallen said.

"Now open the hatch," Allura instructed. Lelouch bent down and removed the covering and looked inside, "Find the central computer control hub and enter the following sequence..."

"Princess, wait! Which is it? All these labels are in Altean!" Lelouch snapped, cursing at himself for not learning at least some basic Altean while he was here.

o~o

"Commander Sendak, we are ready for launch," Haxus said, looking at the commander.

o~o

The orb in the center of the chamber suddenly pulsed, large bolts of energy hitting it at once. The turbine was powering up, which only meant one thing! It was about to launch.

"Argh! I can't tell which one it is!" Lelouch shouted.

"Allura! Allura?! Dammit!" Kallen cursed as the link lost the connection.

o~o

"I've lost connection with them!" Allura exclaimed as she and Suzaku backed up in horror, "Oh no! It's taking off!"

o~o

Lelouch was still kneeling in front of the control panel, trying to make heads and tails of the connections. For all, he knew if he adjusted the wrong one-

He was thrown backward as Kallen got in the way. Her Bayard claws were extended.

"What are you-!"

"The hell with this!" Kallen screamed as she buried her claw into the circuits. She was shocked backward, almost hitting Lelouch. She groaned and held her arm, as it felt like it was on fire, her Bayard bouncing away.

"Kallen! Are you alright?!" Lelouch asked, kneeling next to her.

"Peachy!" she hissed sarcastically, glaring at him. Kallen's impulsive maneuver seemed to work though, as the turbine's sound subsided, energy levels dropped, and the energy ball in the center decreased to about an eighth of its original size.

"Well, I guess that's one way to do it," Lelouch shrugged with a sheepish grin, helping Kallen sit up. She grinned viciously at him, though she was also relieved it worked.

o~o

"The main engine just shorted out!" Haxus exclaimed in alarm and frustration. Sendak scowled and approached the screen. The camera came online and zoomed in on the two figures with the modified drone. The two of them had wrenched the doors open to let it through before bolting through themselves.

"We have some saboteurs. Find them and take them out."

[ameryth74]

Louis **** Title Generator Tool

** **** it 

LOL.... go!

Two letter words:

There are 107 acceptable 2-letter words listed in the Official Scrabble Players Dictionary, 6th Edition and the Official Tournament and Club Word List:

AA, AB, AD, AE, AG, AH, AI, AL, AM, AN, AR, AS, AT, AW, AX, AY, BA, BE, BI, BO, BY, DA, DE, DO, ED, EF, EH, EL, EM, EN, ER, ES, ET, EW, EX, FA, FE, GI, GO, HA, HE, HI, HO, ID, IF, IN, IS, IT, JO, JU, JY, JZ, KA, KI, KO, LA, LI, LO, MA, ME, MI, MM, MO, MU, MY, NA, NE, NO, NU, OD, OE, OF, OH, OI, OK, OM, ON, OP, OR, OS, OW, OX, PA, PE, PI, PO, QI, RE, SH, SI, SO, TA, TE, TI, TO, UH, UM, UN, UP, US, UT, WE, WO, XI, XU, YA, YE, YO, ZA

Two letter contractions: I’m, I’d

Four letter verbs:

abet, abut, abye/aby, ache, alit, ally, ante, arch, aver, avow (10).

baby,  bach, back, bade, baff, bail, bait, bake, bald, bale, balk, ball, band, bang, bank, bant, barb, bard, bare, barf, bark, base, bash, bask, bate, bath, bauk, bawl, bead, beam, bean, bear,    beat, beck, bede, beef, been, beep, bell, belt, bend, bent, bere, best, bias, bide(archaic usage), biff, bike, bilk, bill, bind, bird, birl, birr, bite, bitt, blab, blat, blaw, bled, blet, blew, blip, blob, blot, blow, blub, blue, blur, boak, boat, bode, body, boff(vulgar usage), boil, boke, bomb, bond, bone, bong, bonk, boob, book, boom, boot, bore, born, boss, boun, bowl, brad, brag, bray, bred, brew, brim, buck, buff, bulk, bull, bump, bung, bunk, bunt, buoy, burl, burn, burp, burr, bury, bush, busk, buss, bust, busy, butt, buzz (117).

ca-ca, cage, cake, calk, call, calm, came, camp, cane, cant, card, care, carp, cart, case, cash, cast, cave, cede, cere, chap, char, chat, chaw, chid, chin, chip, chop, chow, chug, chum, cite, clad, clam, clap, claw, clay, clew, clip, clog, clop, clot, cloy, club, clue, coal, coat, coax, cock, code, coif, coil, coin, coke, comb, come, comp, cone, conk, conn, cook, cool, coop, cope, copy, cord, core, cork, corn, cosh, cost, coup, cove, cowl, crab, cram, crap, crew, crib, crop, crow, cube, cuff, cull, curb, curd, cure, curl, curr, cuss (90).

dado, daff, damn, damp, dang, dare, dark, darn, dart, dash, date, daub, dawn, daze, deal, deck, deed, deem, defy, deke, dele, demo, dent, deny, dial, dice, died, diet, dike, dine, ding, ding, dint, dirk, disc, dish, disk, diss, dive, dock, doff, dole, dome, done, doom, dope, dose, doss, dote, dove, down, doze, drab, drag, draw, dray, dree, drew, drip, drop, drub, drug, drum, duck, duel, duet, dull, dumb, dump, dung, dunk, dupe, dusk, dust, dyke (75).

earn, ease, echo, eddy, edge, edit, emit, envy, espy, etch, even, exit (12).

face, fade, fail, fake, fall, fame, fard, fare, farm, fart, fash, fast, fate, fawn, faze, fear, feed, feel, fell, felt, fend, fess, fete, feud, file, fill, film, find, fine, fink, fire, firm, fish, fist, fizz, flag, flap, flat, flaw, flay, fled, flee, flew, flex, flip, flit, flog, flop, flow, flub, flux, foal, foam, foil, foin, fold, fond, fool, foot, ford, fork, form, foul, fowl, frag, frap, fray, free, fret, frig, frit, fuel, full, fume, fund, funk, furl, fuse, fuss, futz, fuze, fuzz (82).

gaff, gage, gain, gait, gall, game, gang, gaol, gape, garb, gash, gasp, gast(obsolete), gate, gaum(US), gave, gawk, gawp, gaze, gear, geld, gibe, gift, gild, gill, gimp, gird, girt, give, glad(archaic), glom, glow, glue, glug, glut, gnar, gnaw, go by, go on, goad, golf, gone, gong, goof, gore, gown, grab, gray, grew, grey, grid, grin, grip, grit, grow, grub, gulf, gull, gulp, gush, gust, gybe, gyre, gyve (64).

hack, haft, hail, hale, halo, halt, hand, hang, hare, hark, harm, harp, hash, hasp, hast, hate, hath(archaic), haul, have, hawk, haze, head, heal, heap, hear, heat, heed, heel, heft, held, helm, help, hent(obsolete), herd, hewn, hide, hike, hill, hint, hire, hiss, hive, hoax, hock, hoke(slang), hold, hole, home, hone, honk, hood, hoof, hook, hoop, hoot, hope, horn, hose, host, hove, howl, huff, hulk, hull, hump, hung, hunt, hurl, hurt, hush, husk, hymn, hype, hypo (74).

idle, inch, iris, iron, isle, itch (6).

jack, jade, jail, jape, jazz, jeep, jeer, jell, jerk, jest, jibe, jilt, jink, jinx, jive, join, joke, jolt, josh, juke, jump, junk (22).

kayo, keek(Scots), keel, keen, keep, kept, kern, kick, kill, kiln, kilt, kink, kiss, kite, knap, knew, knit, knot, know (19).

lace, lack, laid, lain, lair, lake, lamb, lame, land, lard, lark, lase, lash, last, lath, laud, lave, laze, lazy, lead, leaf, leak, lean, leap, lech, leer, left, lend, lens, lent, levy, lick, lift, like, lilt, limb, lime, limn, limp, line, link, lisp, list, live, load, loaf, loan, lock, loft, loll, long, look, loom, loop, loot, lope, lord, lose, lost, loup(Scots), lour, lout, love, lube, luck, luff, luge, lull, lump, lure, lurk, lust, lute, lyse (74).

mace, made, mail, maim, make, mall, malt, mark, marl, mart, mash, mask, mass, mast, mate, maul, maze, mean, meet, meld, mell, melt, mend, meow, mesh, mess, mete, mewl, miff, milk, mill, mime, mind, mine, mint, mire, miss, mist, moan, moat, mock, moil, mold, molt, moon, moor, moot, mope, moss, move, muck, muff, mull, mump, muse, mush, muss, must, mute (59).

nail, name, near, neck, need, nest, nick, nigh, nill(obsolete), nock, nose, nosh, note, nuke, null, numb (16).

obey, ogle, oink, okay, omen, omit, ooze, open, oust, over (10).

pace, pack, page, pain, pair, pale, pall, palm, pang, pant, pare, park, part, pash(Austral), pass, pave, pawn, peak, peal, peck, peek, peel, peen, peep, peer, pelt, pend, perk, perm, pick, pike, pile, pill, pimp, pine, ping, pink, pipe, piss(vulgar), pith, pity, plan, plat, play, plod, plop, plot, plow, plug, pock, poke, pole, poll, pond, pool, pore, port, pose, post, pour, pout, pray, pree, prep, prey, prim, prod, prog, prop, puff, puke, pule, pull, pulp, pump, punt, purl, purr, push, putt (80).

quad, quip, quit, quiz (4).

race, rack, raft, rage, raid, rail, rain, rake, ramp, rang, rank, rant, rape, rase, rasp, rate, rave, raze, razz, read, ream, reap, rear, reck, redd(dialect), rede(archaic), redo, reed, reef, reek, reel, rein, rely, rend, rent, rest, re-up, rice, rick, ride, riff, rift, rile, rill, rime(archaic)/rhyme, ring, riot, rise, risk, rive, roam, roar, robe, rock, rode, roil, rolf, roll, romp, roof, rook, room, root, rope, rose, rout, rove, ruck, ruff, ruin, rule, rush, rust (73).

sack, said, sail, sale, salt, sand, sass, sate, save, sawn, scab, scam, scan, scar, scat, scud, scum, seal, seam, sear, seat, seed, seek, seel, seem, seen, seep, sell, send, sent, sewn, shag, sham, shed, shim, shin, ship, shit, shoe, shog, shoo, shop, shot, show, shun, shut, sick, side, sift, sigh, sign, silk, silt, sing, sink, sire, site, size, skew, skid, skim, skin, skip, slab, slag, slam, slap, slat, slay, sled, slew, slid, slim, slip, slit, slog, slop, slot, slow, slub, slue, slug, slum, slur, smut, snag, snap, snip, snow, snub, snug, soak, soap, soar, sock, soil, sold, sole, solo, soot, sorb, sort, soup, sour, sown, spae(scottish), spam, span, spar, spat, spay, spec, sped, spew, spin, spit, spot, spud, spur, spurn, stab, stag, star, stay, stem, step, stet, stew, stir, stop, stow, stub, stud, stun, suck, suds, suit, sulk, sung, sunk, surf, swab, swag, swam, swan(brit), swap, swat, sway, swig, swim, swob, swop(brit)/swap, swot, swum, sync (155).

tabu, tack, tail, take, talc, talk, tame, tamp, tang, tank, tape, tare, task, taut, taxi, team, tear, teem, tell, tend, tent, term, test, text, thaw, thin, thud, tick, tide, tidy, tier, tiff, tile, till, tilt, time, tine, ting, tint, tire, toil, toke, told, tole, toll, tomb, tone, tong, took, tool, toot, tope, tore, torn, toss, tote, tour, tout, tram, trap, tree, trek, trim, trip, trod, trot, trow(archaic), true, tube, tuck, tuft, tune, turf, turn, tusk, twig(Brit), twin, twit, type (79).

undo, urge (2).

vade, vail(archaic), vamp, vary, veal, veer, veil, vein, vend, vent, vest, veto, vide, view, vine, visa, vise, void, vote (19).

wade, waft, wage, wail, wait, wake, wale, walk, wall, wane, want, ward, ware(archaic), warm, warn, warp, wash, waul, wave, wawl, wean, wear, weed, ween, weep, weet, weld, well, welt, wend, went, wept, were, wert(archaic), wham, whap, whet, whid(Scottish), whip, whir, whiz, whop, wick, wile, will, wilt, wind, wine, wing, wink, wipe, wire, wise, wish, wisp, wist, wite, wive, woke, wolf, wont, wood, woof, word, wore, work, worm, worn, wove, wrap, writ(archaic) (71).

x-ray (1).

yack, yank, yard, yarn, yaup, yawn, yawp, yean, yell, yelp, yerk, yeuk, yock, yoke, yowl, yo-yo(informal), yuck (17).

zero, zest, zinc, zing, zone, zonk, zoom (7).

IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT IT

(yes there are 28 ITs)

[toasttz]

How to Make Games: Gacha Games

Hey, do you wanna make more money than several member nations of the EU?! I know I sure did, so when I was 12 my sister and I set up a lemonade stand that made several times the value of Greece's GDP when you consider that negatives cancel each other out. Hey, do you want to make MEANINGFUL amounts of money and have zero moral compunctions that might inhibit your success even though the road to the top is steep and lined with unethical business practices? Well, just insert $29.99 (397.48 Canadian dollars) and I'll teach you how to make some fuckin' gacha games! Gacha games, games inspired by a terrifying Japanese tradition known as "Seppuku" where you shoot pinballs in order to undress a girl carrying a bowl of ramen - before I go any further I feel that my understanding of Japanese culture may be a little out of date, so apologies where necessary - and something else happens, blah, blah, blah, and you get some toys or some shit. When it was discovered that Android and iOS can be programmed in such a simple and fast way that typewriters and some house plants with high RAM amounts can run the code, the market soon became flooded, but not saturated, with gacha games. Why hasn't the market hit saturation point despite the fact I can't scroll further than a gnat's dick in winter's length on the Google Play Store without hitting one? Because, as the wise Chinese philanderer, Aristotle, posited, "The difference in hardcore pr0n and gacha is a string bikini and $39.99 USD, but the amount of shame is equal in both," So, the games are retardedly easy to code and the only decision you'll spend one afternoon making is if you want to spend 2 hours making it a fully-automated RPG, 5 hours to make it a complex battler with some meaningful gimmicks, or 15 minutes copying Puzzles & Dragons. These options have totally not been done to death, so feel no worry if you can't be arsed to innovate. Once you have done the easy part, the next part is to locate someone with artistic talent and ask them to draw girls. Lots and lots of girls. Unlike H-games, the theme here can be as broad or narrow or as obtuse as you want. In fact, you can use multiple themes or just do what most of these games do and just steal from history and myth and make them all girls! It literally doesn't matter how deep or nuanced your story or gameplay are if the 2D waifus are cute enough. Lots of girls are necessary - tall girls, short girls, thicc girls, lean girls, brown girls, bunny girls... just don't stop making girls. Ever. You'll be expected to actually update about every two weeks or so, but that's getting ahead of ourselves. Lastly, for each summoning banner, place four characters on them in varied, dynamic poses and outfits in the ratio of 3 girls and 1 guy. "Guys?" I hear you ask incredulously. Yes, I recently read a very scientific study that said girls sometimes use the internet now and, so, to compensate for this possible oversight, each banner needs one shirtless guy, but unlike girls, never vary their body types. Just watch a few Marvel movies for their shirtless stud scenes and copy that - that's all you'll have to do! And sometimes give them different hats, so they know they're different guys. What? Sound design? Pffft. Don't be ridiculous. Everyone's going to be playing this game at their jobs when they can't play their real game libraries, so they're just going to mute them. Those that don't will be the creepy weirdos just listening to their waifu of choice's voice actress anyway. Besides, Wendee Lee is gonna do 85% of the voices anyway. You can just skip this part. The core of any gacha game, as it was foretold in the Japanese romcom, The Art of War & Peace, by Leo Toystore, is their summoning mechanic. You need some kind of in-game currency to exchange in order to summon heroes to make up your party. Sure, you'll give the players some generic filler heroes, but they'll all be bottom-tier and Worst Waifus(TM) with no real potential for growth, but that way no one can call foul on your game design. The real draw will be summoning, so make your orbs or your gems or whatever, just be sure that they're artificially inflated like nations that no longer rely on the gold and silver standards, because just like those nations that no longer rely on the gold and silver standards your imaginary currency is backed by fucking nothing other than your insistence that, yes, 300 platinum gems totally costs $49.99, stop asking so many questions! The second-most pivotal point is that your exchange between currencies and summons is completely irrational. Anything from 5 to 150 is acceptable, just so long as it's never, ever 1:1. That would make it easy for your fans to deduce the true value of your currencies and that's literally the last thing you want. You can set aside special vouchers for people who acquire enough "Good Boy Points" by making the game a habit rather than a game in the requisite "Daily Login Bonus" category. But those are entirely secondary and should still have the same low, low rates of drawing heroes anyone gives a shit about. About once a year you can hand them 5-Star Summon Vouchers, if they have enough Good Boy Points and throw them a bone to keep them in the dopamine loop. So, once the game is on market, just rotate your banners every two weeks, usually in the pattern of "Useless, Fanservicey" Banner twice, then "Mechanically Powerful Characters" Banner once, then repeat. That way players are inclined to waste their currencies on bathing suit beauties or Valentine's Day honeys instead of the St. Patrick's Day themed Hero who has S Ranks in Strength and Defense. This will incentivize players to routinely pay up like the good little whales they're meant to be. Err, I mean... it will encourage players to contribute to your work economy, so your studio can keep the lights on... like the good little whales they're meant to be! There we go, much better. Now just slap on a campaign mode and a crap-ton of side missions - preferably one or more for each hero you make in order to pad out the game length - and then slap a Stamina Bar on top of that! Make sure they can't do more than 10 missions in a day's time at the highest possible levels, so they don't blast through your paper-thin experience and keep ponying up properly. This will also tie back into the "make the game a habit" goal we talked about earlier. Once you have enough starving artists ball-n-chained to their writer desks churning out waifus, that's pretty much it! You have a sustainable game in the same way a drug cartel overlord does! Now make another following the above and enjoy double the money, ad infinitum! Also, one last bit of writing advice: never actually finish the story. Just keep adding new 'twists' and 'complications' no matter how hackneyed they may be! If they're getting bi-weekly banners, they aren't complaining that the story only updates every financial quarter when the investors start asking questions! Bonus points for making your characters aware of the events as they come and go and reference past banners - this will add the illusion of depth to your writing and characters. Congrats! You're contributing to the blight on the Earth's surface known as cell phone games. When the aliens find us and we try to rationalize all the good we've done, yours will be one among many sins that cause us to get vaporized to make way for a cosmic-scale McDonalds. But, hey, you can't take all that shit-ton of money you'll make with you when you go anyway. You're welcome.

[kfdirector]

Student Awareness of Nonstandard Danger Society

    From the Vice-Principal for Student Affairs, greetings, the e-mail had begun.  You have been selected by your friends and colleagues…

    Niewitzski didn’t think the joke was in particularly good taste, but then he considered the source.  It was entirely possible that it wasn’t a joke at all.  He flicked dirt from under his fingernails with a pocket knife, and kept leaning against the wall of the school cafeteria, one ear on a police scanner and the other on the proceedings.

    Hard-working student council members and people suckered into volunteering by student council members pushed tables around and hung streamers up on the ceiling.  “Fall Ball”, the notice had said.  “Ball” seemed a bit ambitious, judging by the decoration quality - but he was just here to chaperone, and he would give that all the attention it deserved.

    “Am I going to be paid?” he had asked Jibrail in the hallway.

    That had gotten a laugh from the vice-principal.  On the one hand, Niewitzski was proud to have finally cracked the code on even his funny bone.  On the other...it hadn’t been that funny, had it?

    His phone buzzed, letting him know he had a text.  The outgoing message had been to Miss Early. The reply had arrived: “HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAA” followed a moment later by “No.”  Perhaps, he thought, he should abandon his dreams of the law and go into stand-up instead.  He was apparently displaying a real knack tonight!  Perhaps he could test some of his material on the DJ - he looked familiar, possibly even from Niewitzski’s class, although being reduced to DJing a high school dance with a stack of flash drives said that the recent circumstances of his life could not have been too inspiring.

    Just as Niewitzski was starting to feel just bored enough to go and try to reconnect with the DJ, he was interrupted by the arrival of a colleague.  Unfortunately…

    “Doc.”  Niewitzski switched his pocket knife from a blade to a file, and gave his fingernails some attention.  “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

    Doane sniffed audibly.  “Apparently, their wretched lottery makes no provision for whether people with actual ability might have better things to do with their time.”

    Niewitzski shrugged; the lack of...whatever had been in that cocktail...left his urge to be argumentative somewhat moderated.  “Eh, it’s not that bad.  You can hang out with the kids outside of class for once.”

    There was a pause, and he could feel himself being stared at.  He looked up to Doane’s face, and saw a look that wasn’t easily described, but could, at minimum, be characterized as ‘unpleasant’.

    “Grow up.”

    “What?”

    “Show some...dignity.  You are a teacher now, after all.  Somehow.”

    Niewitzski excused himself to take some pills to find off a migraine.  He wasn’t actually feeling it yet, but he could see it coming down the road.  Students in charge of collecting money were trickling in, followed shortly by students intending to pay money, followed closely by a cop.

    She evaded eye contact with Niewitzski; he decided to try and approach her after all.  No sense in being immature about this.

    “Hi, Regina.”

    “You’re not dying,” she observed flatly, staring through him.

    “Would apologizing again help?”

    “I’m on duty.  Keep it professional, civilian.”

    He backed off, retreating from water fountain to his spot against the wall.  He glanced over, to see something very disturbing on Doane’s face - a grin.  Outside of some French novels, Niewitzski hadn’t realized that someone could somehow be bad at smiling, and his skin crawled as the doctor stepped away from his own spot on the wall, advancing towards Regina.

    Niewitzski kept his place.  He couldn’t hear what Doane was saying over the blare of the DJ’s sound test, but he made some assumptions to fill in the scene as her eyes narrowed, as she assumed an interview stance, as she consciously put her gun side back and then finally as her right hand rested on the butt of her firearm.  He even began to whistle tunelessly yet cheerfully to himself as Doane seemed to fail the notice the effect he was having, even as she said something terse back to him, and then, finally, when she had her left hand in front of her, pushing back, the doctor finally took the hint.

    Growling, the retreating Doane returned to the impromptu chaperone station near Niewitzski.  “Christ, what a bitch.”

    Niewitzski was barely conscious of his response: “Say that again, to my face.”

    Doane crossed his arms and sniffed again.  “What?  She shot you down, too, didn’t she?”

    He didn’t feel like there was anything productive to be had in this conversation - nor in ‘defending the honor’ of a lady currently present, far better armed than he, better trained, and still angry with him as well - so he let what little conversation there had been die unmourned.  His attention wandered to a few students he found more interesting than the rest filing inside: Stella, towing along Tracey and Craig with much enthusiasm; Joe, walking in afterwards at a pace that said he was probably there of his own volition rather than that of Miss Saint-James’; and then, a little ways after that, Mario, with a girl Niewitzski recognized from the hallways but certainly not from his classes.

    Then a few others, familiar to him for other reasons: Buddy, Natalie, Shane, and even Tony himself.

    Against his better judgment, Niewitzski elbowed Doane.  “Well, look who’s here tonight.  Murder suspect and his fan club.  Should we be ready for violence?”

    He sniffed, again.  Apparently whatever his degree was, it wasn’t good for a prescription for allergies.  “It’s not as if there would be much worth mourning here.”

    Niewitzski considered that response as it hung in the air, like a foul black antisocial cloud.  He couldn’t help but verbally poke at it.  “You’re not really a ‘people person’, are you, Doc?”  The initial reply was only another sniff; Niewitzski fingered the utility knife in his pocket, wondering if one of the attachments could help unblock the poor man’s nasal passages.  “I mean, really, Doc, why are you a teacher?”

    “To mold young minds.”

    The music started, giving Niewitzski an excellent excuse to neither talk nor listen any further.  The DJ was embarking on some kind of grand adventure to explore the boundaries between techno-rave and a genre he could not name but was forced to describe as “TV show themes, but faster and higher pitched”.  He found more melody in the gentle drone of the police scanner, and turned up the volume on his earpiece while he quietly observed the group dynamics in play and, at least in theory, watched for trouble.

    Stella, for one, had decided she was going to teach her freshmen how to dance.  She scurried around Craig and Tracey, positioning them relative to each other, adjusting their bodies and limbs to some kind of step for a beat, clapping her hands, re-adjusting, clapping again - setting up some kind of rhythm heedless of what was actually coming out of the speakers, apparently.  Niewitzski wondered if he should have a word with her about her hand placement, as both freshmen looked beet-red under her attentive approach.  Putting himself in Craig’s shoes, he supposed that an intervention would probably not be welcomed, but in Tracey’s, well...but before he could push off from the wall, Joe cut in, said something to Stella, and then pulled Tracey off to go dance with him.  Tracey’s face got even redder, but also had an expression that suggested she didn’t mind so much.

Stella, for her part, seemed to gripe for a few seconds about the interruption before filling in as her abducted freshman to teach the remaining one how to dance.  A conversation about boundary issues might still be appropriate, Niewitzski thought, but he also doubted Craig would appreciate him showing up to give that public service announcement at this precise moment.  Niewitzski’s gaze wandered onwards.

Mario had his own issues on display.  Niewitzski hadn’t seen him with that particular girl before, and judging from their behavior around each other, he gathered that they weren’t, strictly speaking, dating - he must have just asked her to this dance.  Niewitzski shook his head sadly.

Mario went to get punch and she wandered off; she started to talk to girl friends and he tapped his foot impatiently; she talked animatedly to a guy that wasn’t him - Buddy Brown, Niewitzski noticed with concern - and Mario’s eyes flashed with what Niewitzski would guess was a hormone-driven rage.  That, he figured, would be a good idea to keep an eye on: Mario wasn’t stupid, Buddy wasn’t all that stupid, but they both associated with other people who were themselves stupid.

Where were those others, anyway, he wondered?  He watched the dancing mob, the whirling dervishes, and the awkward rock-and-huggers; Shane was hanging around by the punch bowl, always a bad sign, wearing a button-up shirt he didn’t look comfortable in with an upturned collar and a nasty look in his eyes; Natalie was sulking to no one in particular by the vending machines; Tony was with a girl Niewitzski didn’t even recognize from school - he supposed it made sense that the boy had to look elsewhere to avoid a tainted dating pool, given the whispers about him here at Xavier.

Niewitzski sighed, closed his eyes in the repeated flash of the stage lights, and listened to the scanner for a few minutes.

Thud.

It was subtle among the pounding beats, but it was there.  Niewitzski looked up again.  The situation was unfolding: Natalie had just shoved Mario, who had been knocked into a vending machine, which had been knocked into a wall.  Mario had been pointing towards his date, who was rapidly slipping away into the crowd, leaving an indignant-looking Buddy in her place.  And Shane was making his way from the punch bowl towards the three of them, cracking his knuckles, which inspired Niewitzski with exactly zero confidence that this was going to be defused on its own.

“Nice kids,” Niewitzski muttered.  Doane ignored him, deeply engrossed in something on his cell phone.  Niewitzski pushed his way towards the incipient crisis, some of the crowd of students yielding hesitantly to his authority as a teacher, as a chaperone, as a tall guy in a suit - where was Regina, anyway, he wondered.  A quick glance around the room was unrewarded; he kept the old saw about there never being a cop when you needed one buried, given the episode earlier in the week with the shotgun.

Now a circle was opening up around the crisis.  Mario, Natalie, Buddy, Shane - Tony was hanging back; Joe was squeezing through the crowd on the opposite side to join the fun.

Mario grit his teeth, giving ‘don’t do anything stupid’ the old college try.  In the face of Buddy and Shane flexing and trash-talking, and Natalie shouting wildly about an inch from his nose, Niewitzski both respected the effort and doubted its long-term success: Mario was clearly unwilling to hit a girl, and it was also pretty clearly not the case vice-versa.  He struggled through the crowd, but not quickly enough - Natalie pulled back her fist - Mario glared defiantly - and Joe grabbed the short-haired girl’s arm before it could strike forward.

That ought to have defused the situation.

It did not.

She proceeded to kick Joe in the groin, and cool, calm, steady Joe Fitzgerald rapidly boiled with fury at that.  Just as Niewitzski managed to break into the circle, vocalizing not much more than the ‘Bre’ in ‘Break it up’, Natalie suddenly sprawled to the floor; Stella stood behind her, looking smug.

Niewitzski was certain he didn’t see Stella quickly slipping a stun gun back into her purse, because that would have been utterly crazy.

This, too, failed to defuse the situation.  Someone punched someone else, and as far as Niewitzski could see neither of those parties had been involved in this, and from that instant a wave of chaos spread through the dance, which in six seconds more became rather properly called a brawl set to a techno beat.

After a moment of shock wore off, he dodged a wild punch and grabbed ahold of the first set of shoulders within reach - they happened to be Shane’s - and decided he would try to restrain the combatants, one at a time if necessary.  He was forced to re-evaluate when the boy proved stronger than he’d have guessed but every bit as mean; Niewitzski failed to hit the floor only because there were too many other people in the way of falling all the way down.

“Okay,” he said as he staggered back up, wiping blood off his nose, “now you’re really going to - ”

His earpiece squawked.  “Repeat, dangerous animal, westbound on foot, officers available please respond”

The timing was...suboptimal, at best, but he saw something to be gained here, at least.  He bellowed:  “SANDS!  Stand down, and get ready to move out!”

Stella backed off - Joe Backed off - Mario was in a headlock and so had no choice in the matter - so Niewitzski laid hands on Buddy, and forcibly adjusted his face to be staring into Niewitzski’s.  “Let. Go.”

Buddy released his grip, and Niewitzski looked around - Craig and Tracey, at the edge of the room, creeping with their backs to the wall towards the door.  Niewitzski nodded, and once more searched for Regina.  No sign of her.  No sign of Doane, either.  In fact, the only other adult he could see in the room was the DJ, who was cowering behind his sound system and wincing every time a thrown chair came near, which was not an entirely inappropriate reaction all told.  He jerked his head at Mario, Stella, and Joe, and then towards the door, and then began pushing his way through the brawl.  With only a few more stray punches hitting his side, he reached the door, and the cool night air.

And if he was being derelict of his duties, well, there was a senior teacher and a sworn peace officer also absent, so at least he figured he wouldn’t be against the wall alone.  He let the wind rustle his hair and cool his face as the five SANDS assembled.

“What’s up, Coach?”  Joe had not been wearing an earpiece.

“Police report of dangerous animal, just off the highway, heading this way.  And this time the thing is between us and the van. We need whatever we have handy.”

The kids looked to each other.  Joe shook his head.

“Which is...nothing, I think, Coach.  Unless you’re carrying again?”

“I - no.  I’ve had enough close calls.  I might have something in my car, but I’m not going to run around with it when the police are on their way.  So.”  Niewitzski rubbed his beard.  “Recon first, then.  Try and lay eyes on it, let me know what I might need to get out of the back or not.”

Joe smiled and clapped his hands.  “Okay, team!  Fan out, Delta formation!”

“Delta...formation?”  Stella was looking confused, although still a somewhat enthusiastic sort of confused.

“Oh, fine, just follow me!”  Joe waved the others onward, and they dashed forward, vanishing into the night.

“Kids.”  Niewitzski turned - it hadn’t been he who had said that.  It was Doane, somehow now behind him.

“Shouldn’t you be helping inside?” asked Niewitzski, ignoring his hypocrisy.

“Over-excitable kids,” Doane went on, ignoring Niewitzski in turn, “positively crazy.  Violent movies, violent video games, too much instant gratification.  Twists their brains, makes them irrational.”

Niewitzski shrugged, killing time for a phone call and more curious about where Doane had been than anything.  “I don’t know about that, Doc: maybe it makes them more open-minded, ready to accept and adapt to unusual circumstances.”

Doane gave him an odd look.  “What...'unusual circumstances’?”

“Zombie uprising, nuclear war, revolution - you know, whatever might happen.”

The doctor sniffed again.  The night air was apparently not what his allergies needed.  “Of course.  Because those are relevant life skills.”

“Hey.  When the ‘elite’ young minds you so carefully molded decide to take over the world, someone’s got to stop them.  And don’t you have something to do?”  Niewitzski heard glass breaking, and to hear it from outside, that meant it had to be a window.  “Like finding the cop back so we can stop that riot?  Where’d she go, anyway?”

Once again the air rushed into Doane’s nostrils in a way that grated on Niewitzski’s nerves.  “I am your senior.  You do it.”

Niewitzski rolled his eyes and turned back around, looking for any sign of the SANDS.  “What, you plan on trotting that out?  Remember, peasant doctor, I am your social superior, being titled nobility.”  Niewitzski had given it an over-the-top haughty tone he assumed would signal it as a joke; the altered sound of Doane’s breathing said it hadn’t quite been taken as one.  Niewitzski started to turn to see the look on the doctor’s face when -

A momentary spasm throughout his entire body, and after a discontinuity, he pulled his face out of the grass, eyes watering, back of his neck burning.  Doane was gone, Stella’s stun gun was lying beside him.  As he added up what had just happened in his head, his cell phone rang.  He sat up, and answered it.

“Sir!  We have visual!”

“Describe it, Stella!”

“Ten legs!  Face like a - a - a whole lot of tendrils!  A big toothy hole at the center!  Of the face, I mean!”

His brow furrowed; would the monsters be unique every time?  “Can you engage?”

“Oh hell n - uh, negative, sir!  Our combatants have zero confidence given our equipment situation!”

“Right, right.  Can you get to the van and at least get the sensors online?”

“Yes, sir!” She huffed, a rare betrayal of the fact that she needed to breathe to speak.  She must have been sprinting through the night.  “Already on the whole slipping-past-it thing, sir!  It’s heading towards the school for sure I think, sir!”

“Right.  I’ll keep it busy.”

“Very courageous of you, sir!”

It may have been, but Niewitzski wasn’t sure he was feeling it.  He got into his car - wondering about reporting Doane for jabbing him with a stun gun, but given that it had been Stella’s stun gun and, well, the melee engulfing the school, he decided to hold that thought.  He started the engine, and wonder if, perhaps, he should have some sort of plan.

Nah.

He drove in the direction the monster had been sighted, switched on his brights, and said: “Nuts.”

Ten legs had been a slight misstatement on Stella’s part; ten pairs of legs would have been more accurate.  It was charging down the road at a fast clip, too; it could easily outpace a bicycle.  He drove past it - it ignored him.  He pulled an illegal U-turn, and it ignored him still as he honked the horn at its backside.  He flashed his headlights: still no reaction.

“Never thought the day would come when a monster ignoring me would be a problem.”

He estimated the speed as he approached it; his speedometer read forty-two miles per hour.  Less than a cheetah, but a cheetah would have given up and got bored by now.  He slammed his accelerator, riding up right alongside it - still no reaction.  He accelerated even harder, shooting ahead of the creature down the street and pulling another U-turn, coming to a halt, to get a look at the creature’s front end.  Nothing near its face looked much like an eye or ear - could it be entirely sense of smell, and have no interest in car exhaust?

His cell phone rang again.

“Coach, we’re in the van and heading that way!  Keep it busy!  Don’t kill it until we get there!”

“I can definitely handle the second bit.”

He rolled down his window, leaned out, and hollered:  “Hey, big ugly!  My grandma - ”

A shifting breeze blew past his hair, and the creature rumbled to a halt, stopping, sniffing the air with tendrils.

Niewitzski’s eyes widened as the creature’s mouth made a brief horking noise - and then a giant glob of something disgusting splattered against his windshield.  Along with disgusting, he noted, it apparently also could corrode glass.  He gulped.

“Okay!  Now that I have your attention!”  He steadied his foot on the accelerator, trying to be faster, but not much faster, than it, while he kept his head out the window.  Each sound of a hork gave him a second’s warning to pull his head back, although the creature’s aim meant that he was mostly losing windows and paint job rather than skin.  He kept one eye on the side view mirror, and noted that one particular object in the mirror was indeed closer than it appeared.

He saw headlights approaching, and eased off the accelerator, trying to see - van or cop? - a flicker of movement in the side view mirror, and he snapped back to the chase as the monster lunged forward into the back of his car - and then his head jerked against the doorframe as the rear of his car spun out.

“Turn into the spin, turn into the - ”

A swarm of tendrils was now sticking into his open car window.  He found something very unfair about centipedes twice the size of his car knowing the PIT maneuver, but forgot to complain about it as a foggy stench blasted onto the left side of his face, leaving a burning sensation - he lurched and slammed on the accelerator, and, for a moment, the thing was being dragged along with him still.  The hork started again, and he threw himself sideways in his seat to dodge another glob, this one beginning to dissolve the interior of his passenger side door.

“I just bought this,” he whined to whomever was listening.

The gutless motor of his car whined in protest as he nursed the last few RPM out of it, and finally the creature lost its hold on his car, its tendril-covered face yanked out as he proceeded to then make real distance between he and it.

His cell phone rang once more.  He answered, voice ragged.  “Tell me you’ve got the readings!”

“What readings?!  You assholes locked me in a pantry!”

“R-Regina?  What?” He heard the beep of call waiting.

“You’d better be coming to - ”

“I will totally come help you, Regina - in a few minutes!” He pressed the button to answer the other call.

“Coach!  If you want to kill it, you can!  We have the readings!  The freshmen who do science say they have what they need!”

Between the damage to his car and the certainty that the police were near, Niewitzski had no plans of involving a gun this time.  Fortunately, he had the means for an alternative kinetic energy delivery method.  He pulled one more U-turn.

In the space available, even this car could hit seventy miles an hour.  He aimed just to the right of the charging creature, and at the last second kicked open the driver door.

With a tremendous thud and a clang-clang-clang as his door rolled off down the road, he confirmed a hypothesis.  He rolled the car to a halt and stepped out into the night.  Creature, rapidly fading to nothing.  Car door, departed.  Most of his windows, the passenger side door, and the passenger seat, largely dissolved, with no trace of the putrid-smelling corrosive globs that had been working their destructive craft just seconds before.  Niewitzski rubbed his hand against the side of his face that the creature had breathed on - it felt sore and tender, like severe sunburn.

The black van rolled up next to him.  Stella lowered a tinted window and poked her head out, looking quizzical.

“We’ll debrief on Monday afternoon, Stella.  No need for you to be caught at the riot and I’ll be spending the morning getting fired.  Good night.”

[reserved-kirby]

Kirby: Battle Royale - Datamine Findings [Spoilers]

I’m sorry that this is coming out so late! Once I finished collecting things I really had to take a rest, I stayed up all night for this so I was fairly tired by the end of it all. Either way, due to the length of this post and it’s spoiler content, click the “Read More” to continue.

To start off, the following abilities are in the final version of the game:

Sword Cutter Beetle Bomb Spear Fighter Ninja Whip Parasol Hammer Doctor Tornado Ice

King Dedede, Meta Knight and Bandana Waddle Dee are all present in the game as playable characters. It is unknown how they are unlocked normally, but it likely has to do with story mode. Their unlock messages are as follows:

"Meta Knight is now in the Collection Lists! You can use this in Battle Mode and Online Battles after it's unlocked."   

"Waddle Dee is now in the Collection Lists! You can use this in Battle Mode and Online Battles after it's unlocked."   

"King Dedede is now in the Collection Lists! You can use this in Battle Mode and Online Battles after it's unlocked."

These are all the playable character icons. As it has been pointed out, in the demo, there are 17 ability slots; the last one is the Random select, similar to Smash Bros. and other games. The poll ability isn’t present whatsoever in the retail game, so it’ll likely be added in as a free DLC update.

As previously revealed on the Kirby Twitter account, the game has alternate costumes. Aside from special circumstances, all abilities have their default gear along with three alternates. They are listed as such: Sword: Gigant Helmet Newspaper Hat Dyna Helmet Ultra Sword Hat* Cutter: Sir Kibble Helmet Mohawk Knight Helmet Beetle: Hornhead Helmet Woodpecker Helmet Hydra Helmet   Bomb: Foley Cap Bomb Cap Boom Cap Qbby Cap* Spear: Javelin Knight Helm Devil Horns Sectonia Mask

Fighter: Knuckle Joe Hair Wrestling Mask Goriath Hat Ninja: Bio Spark Helmet Topknot Samurai Helmet Whip: Whippy Hat Gymnastics Leotard Daroach Hat Parasol:  Bouncy Umbrella  Paper Parasol Fancy Umbrella 

Hammer: Dedede Hammer Toy Hammer Grand Hammer Replica 

Doctor: Chemitory Hat Nurse Cap Sacred Hat 

Tornado: Twister Helmet Pinwheel Kracko Hat 

Ice: Mr. Frosty Freeze Hood Snow Bowl

 ---

Bandana Waddle Dee: Sailor Hat Straw Hat Animal Hat Café Cap*

Meta Knight: Dark Meta Knight Mask Party Mask Mecha Knight Mask Galacta Knight Mask*

King Dedede: Knit Cap Gentleman's Hat King's Crown Masked Dedede Mask*

Ultra Sword Hat, Qbby Cap, Café Cap, Galacta Knight Mask and Masked Dedede Mask are all amiibo-locked, so you’ll need the Kirby Series amiibo and the Qbby amiibo to unlock everything.

Here are all of the ability moves. If the move is listed as an aerial move, it can only be used during a jump. If it’s listed as a charged move, you need to hold a charge before it can be used.

Beetle - Horn Upper, Horn Flurry, Back Slash, Spiral Horn (aerial), Rocket Horn (charged), Dive (after Rocket Horn), Forward Lunge, Slamming Drill (after Forward Lunge)

Bomb - Bomb Throw, Big Bomb Throw (charged), Bomb Dunk

Cutter - Cutter Boomerang, Jump Cutter (aerial), Hyper Cutter (charged), Final Cutter

Dedede - Hammer, Hammer Twirl (aerial), Dedede Hammer Throw (charged), Giant Dedede Swing

Doctor - Bouncing Capsule, Flash Spark (charged lv1), Sleeping Gas (charged lv2), Remedy (charged lv3), Clipboard Bash

Fighter - Quick Jab, Vulcan Jab, Rising Break, Sky Kick (aerial), Giga Force Blast (charged), Kick, Spin Kick, Final Spin Kick

Hammer - Hammer, Hammer Twirl (aerial), Hammer Flip (charged, 2 lvl.), Big Hammer Drop (aerial, charged, 2 lvl.), Hammer Swing

Ice - Ice Breath, Ice Sprinkle (aerial), Ice Wall (charged), Ice Ball

Meta Knight - Horizontal Slash, Meta Multithrust, Decisive Slash, Knight Spin (aerial), Dimensional Strike (charged), Piercing Slash

Ninja - Shock, Flurry Swipe, Stealth Slash, Ninja Kick (aerial), Pyrotechnics (charged), Knife Throw, Wind-Up Trick (charged), Ninja Jump (jump while holding button)

Parasol - Parasol Swing, Parasol Dive (aerial), Parasol Shield (hold), Parasol Drill (charged), Circus Throw (after Parasol Drill), Parasol Spin

Spear - Spear Thrust, Multispear Attack, Pinpoint Thrust, Windmill (aerial), Gale Thrust (charged), Spear Throw

Sword - Horizontal Slash, Successive Slash, Cleave, Sword Spin (aerial), Spin Slash (charged), Drill Stab

Tornado - Tornado Attack, Hyper Tornado, Big Tornado (charged), Tornado Dash

Bandana Waddle Dee - Parasol Swing, Parasol Dive (aerial), Aqua Shot (charged), Parasol Spin

Whip - Whip Strike, 100-Whip Slap, Whip Tornado (aerial), Crash Typhoon (charged), Whip Grab

To finish the ability section, there’s an oddity. Axe Knight is a character in the game, but it’s unknown if he’s playable. His data is all labeled as a normal, functioning player character, similar to Kirby’s abilities and the other confirmed unlockables. However, he’s also missing several things. He has no player select icon, lacks some coding for certain modes and has no unlockable text. Several things point to him being a character created solely for the Story Mode (possibly Meta Knight’s partner in the tourney), but there is a chance that he’s just not totally finished. Either way, his moveset is based around Cutter Kirby.

There are ten different game modes in the game overall. To list them out...

Apple Scramble - “Attack Mini Whispy Woods when it has apples to make them fall. After you pick up apples, throw them into your collection area, which is blue. After pulling the lever, you'll score for apples that go down the chute. High score wins!” Maps -  Starter Forest, Double-Cross Forest, Bramble Forest, Fenced Forest, Double-Cross Forest (again?)

Slam Hockey - “Try to hit rivals with the puck as many times as you can. High score wins! You can send the puck toward rivals in two ways: give it a smack or throw it! If a rival throws a puck at you, catch it by pressing R at just the right time.” Maps -  Normal Arena, Obstacle Arena, Stretch Arena

Battle Arena - “The last one standing when all rivals are KO'd wins! To knock out rivals, attack them until their health hits zero. Press A repeatedly to wake up if KO'd. The more you faint, the longer it takes to recover.” Maps -  Deluxe Coliseum, Battle Coliseum

Robo Bonkers - “Attack Robo Bonkers and do more damage than anyone else to win! Throw missiles into cannons to launch them. It's a great way to damage Robo Bonkers! When Robo Bonkers falls, go for multiple attacks. Try for greater amounts of damage per hit.” Maps -  Robo Bonkers, Robo Bonkers DX, Robo Bonkers SDX

Coin Clash - “Pick up coins while attacking your rivals for theirs. The one with the most coins wins! You can take even more coins from rivals by doing greater amounts of damage to them. You'll drop coins until you get the ghost off your back. Use B to dash and Y to jump.” Maps -  Central Room, Dual Room, Trap Room, Party Room

Flagball - “You'll score when the ball connects with your blue flag. First team to seven points wins! If a flag falls to a lower level, you can grab it and run it around the field! A double flag will appear later in the game. It's worth double points. Great for a comeback!” Maps -  Beginner's Beach, Flagger Beach, Footfall Beach, Lopsided Beach

Ore Express - “Toss as much ore as you can into train cars. Get more points than your rivals to win! Throw ore into a gold train car if you see one. You'll get double points for that ore!” Maps -  Wayward Plains, Twisty Tunnels, Logjam Pass

Crazy Theater - “You'll enter a series of quick challenges. Hit the max number of wins before your rivals! In a question challenge, knock rivals off the correct answer!” Maps - Dream Theater

Attack Riders - “Attack your rivals to take away their chips. Whoever holds the most chips at the end wins! The more chips a competitor has, the easier they are to take. Greater damage gets more too. When the vehicle's gauge is full, press Y to attack. Avoid taking damage or you'll fall out!“ Maps -  Attack Biker, Attack Tanker Rocket Rumble - “Grab as much fuel as you can and throw it into your rocket. The one with the most fuel wins! Attack your rivals' rockets to knock loose blocks of their fuel. Then steal it for your own! Get into your rocket before the 10-second countdown is over. Just jump in, or you won't score!” Maps - Space Center

The final boss in the game is named Dededestroyer Z. He shares some code with the Robo Bonkers battles, so it likely takes place in a similar scenario (circle arena, robot fight, etc.). In this fight, Dededestroyer Z seems to take control of the Kirby Printer and creates mass hordes of enemies for you to fight. The objective of this final fight is  "Defeat all rivals before they beat you!". While this all goes on, Dededestroyer Z will also attack you using lasers, fist slamming attacks and more. Bandana Waddle Dee joins in this fight to help you, too; he seems to give you something called the Golden Missile, likely to deal the final blow.

The following NPCs are present in the game:

Groggy Waddle Dee Buddy Waddle Dee Dedede Meta Knight Axe Knight Bat Meta Knight Kirby Printer Waddle Dee A/B/C/D/E/F/P Soldier Waddle Dee L/R/A/B/C/D Spear Waddle Dee A/B Reporter Waddle Dee Camera Waddle Dee AD Waddle Dee TV Waddle Dee Mic Waddle Dee Fake Kirby A/B/C/D/E Waddle Doo A/B/C Guide Board A/B/C Knuckle Joe Elevator Crank Handle 

The entirety of the Kirby Twitter news cast is here! Aside from the NPCs, there are characters called Waddle Dee Buddy, Waddle Dee Spear and Sandbag in the game. Compared to Axe Knight, it’s highly unlikely that these characters are anything more than story mode and/or tutorial characters. Sandbag is used in the online waiting room, too.

While we already have a fair bit of the OST in the game’s demo, there’s a lot of files that still aren’t present. This includes two Staff Credits themes, two Meta Knight themes, two Dedede themes, various boss themes, some more minigame themes and a couple things relating to the end of the game. I’ll be uploading the demo’s OST after this post goes live, too, so stay tuned for that!

To finish this off, I’d like to thank the elusive Popcorn for helping me, once again. He managed to snag the demo and send it over, so none of this would be possible without him!

[arplis]

Arplis - News: The Best Gifts for 4-Year-Olds, According to Child Development Experts

Age 4 is a huge milestone year. Not only do many 4-year-olds go to preschool or start pre-kindergarten, they tend to become much more well-rounded, articulate opinionated little humans at this age. Most 4-year-olds start to share, ask tons of questions, and form solid friendships.  Kids also become choosier about what toys they will or won’t play with around age 4. That’s why the best Christmas gifts for 4-year-olds are toys that play into these new, emerging capabilities while also taking kids’ own specific idiosyncrasies and interests into account. 

“Think about simple board games to use new thinking skills and emerging self-control as they wait for a turn and cope with losing, puppets to tell stories with, interlocking plastic blocks to create structures, a child-sized chalkboard for writing and drawing, or a bicycle or other wheeled toys so they can move their strong, growing bodies,” says Rebecca Parlakian, the senior director of programs at Zero to Three. “And pretend play props are always a great idea, as they let kids make up and act out stories.”

When it comes to Christmas gifts, consider a toy’s longevity. Open-ended toys, ones that can be played with in limitless ways, are the gold standard. They include blocks of all shapes and sizes, such as Legos, and toys that mimic real-life objects and tools. As a general rule, the less a toy does, the more your kid’s imagination has to work. When it comes down to it, the best toys for 4-year-olds are those that let them play however they want.

Balance Board by Wobbel

This wobbly board teaches kids about balance, helps them hone their gross motor skills, and supports up to 480 pounds worth of child. Plus, most of all, it's a hell of a good time because it's way harder than it looks. And it doubles as a bridge or a tunnel for playtime.

Buy Now $79.99

Wooden Stacking Board Game by Lewo

Another spot-on game for kids and parents to play together, this one gives their fine motor skills a workout. Kids use their small muscles and problem-solving abilities to stack the blocks, move them, and reposition them to keep the tower intact.

Buy Now $12.99

Ukelele by Hape

A wood gorgeous guitar perfectly sized for 4-year-olds, with tunable strings. It looks like it belongs at Coachella. And it lets kids explore the fundamentals of music and rhythm.

Buy Now $29.99

Wooden Balancing Tree by PlanToys

Looks easy, right? Wrong. Kids work on their motor skills, while doing some serious concentration, as they try to balance the six birds on the 10 branches.

Buy Now $13.50

Bowling Friends by Melissa & Doug

Things don't get any more fun than hurling a pin at these soft animals and knocking them over. The weighted bottoms make the game ever more challenging.

Buy Now $19.89

Adjustable Telescope for Kids by Hape

Want to get your kids outdoors? Give them this adjustable telescope, beautifully made from bamboo. Explorers get 8x magnification so they can see bugs and blades of grass up close.

Buy Now $19.99

Hide &-Seek Periscope by Hape

From its lightweight design to its wrist-strap, this is a great periscope for kids. They can hide behind a tree, use it to spy on animals (or each other) and explore nature.

Buy Now $13.99

Nature Detective Set by Hape

First, kids look through the magnifying glass, which magnifies things four times. And then they whistle when they spot something really, really notable.

Buy Now $8.99

Rocket Ship Indoor Playhouse by Melissa & Doug

The sky's the limit with this 4.7 foot long rocket ship playhouse. It includes capsule windows, a door that opens and closes, and four stabilizer fins. Kids pretend to be astronauts, aliens, explorers, or whatever else they can dream up.

Buy Now $41.99

Smart Tech Train Set by Brio

A gorgeous train set, with some added oomph: Kids arrange the tunnels and station, and the train stops, honks the horn, backs up, or blinks its lights. It's compatible with all other Brio train set.

Buy Now $137.26

Grill and Play Kitchen by Hape

Kids fire up this ultra-detailed grill, serving up bell peppers, steaks, and sausages, and using tons (thus working their motor skills) to flip the food. The grill has double-sided grates, a collapsible side table, moveable wheels, and an open-and-close hood.

Buy Now $113.09

My Wooden Weather Station by Moon Picnic

Junior meteorologists can get a handle on the weather by reporting back on what's going on outside. They turn the dials to show whether it's sunny or cloudy outside, how hot or cold it is, and if it's going to rain. All, while helping hone their fine motor skills.

BUY NOW $57.00

Pinball Game by PlanToys

Pinball is fun. We get it. But this kid-sized pinball game also teaches them to solve problems while also working on their motor skills. The goal, of course, is to try to keep the ball in play as long as possible.

BUY NOW $100.00

Barbie Inspiring Women Series Ella Fitzgerald Collectible Doll by Mattel

Ella Fitzgerald, a musical icon and trailblazer, is immortalized thanks to this Barbie. It's a great way to encourage pretend play, while also talking to kids about history and those helped make it.

Buy Now $23.24

Ice Cream Cart by Tender Leaf Toys

It's never the wrong time for ice cream. This stand is the epitome of pretend play, as kids take orders, use the scooper to fill the cone, and count out change.

Buy Now $95.96

Magnetic Wooden Block Set by Tegu

This 42-piece set of beautiful magnetic wood blocks, with enough to go around so two kids can play together, teaches them about gravity and problem-solving, while also working on their motor skills.

Buy Now $110.95

Just Rocks in a Box 8 Colors by Just Rocks

These 64 long-lasting soy wax crayons are shaped precisely for little hands, specifically created to strengthen kids' grip muscles and improve fine motor coordination. While also letting kids be as creative as they want.

Buy Now $30.00

Baby Stella Doll by Manhattan Toy

Dolls are nurturing toys, teaching kids how to care for something. This doll is cuddly, washable, and wears clothes with a fabric hook and loop closure for easy changes.

Buy Now $30.98

Motor Mechanic by PlanToys

So your car broke down? Happens to the best of us. Your 4-year-old mechanic will simply pop open the hood, pool out the enclosed tools, and fix the problem. This detailed set has a steering wheel, gearshift, horn, brake, accelerator, turnable car key, air conditioner, radio, side mirrors, hood lift support and screw jack. The mechanical tool in the front can be used to change tires, because tires do have to be changed.

BUY NOW $300.00

Micro Mini Kick Toddler Scooter by Micro Kickboard

The perfect starter scooter, this has a stable a lean-to-steer design and a weight limit of 110 pounds, so it will serve you well for years.

Buy Now $89.99

Snug as a Bug in a Rug Board Game by Peaceable Kingdom

Kids learn about colors, shapes, and numbers as they work together to get the very cute bugs to safety before the stinkbugs invade.

Buy Now $20.99

Meal Maker Dough Set by Green Toys

This specific type of dough is made from parent-friendly organic flour. And this particular set empowers your little chef to whip up creative meals using the prep tools, extruder, cutlery, and plate. It's a toy you can feel good about: The plastic components are made from post-consumer recycled plastic milk jugs.

Buy Now $23.53

Tool Belt by Plan Toys

Kids work on their fine and gross motor skills, and engage in pretend play, as they complete fixer-upper chores around the house. This child-sized tool kit includes an adjustable carpenter's belt, hammer, wrench, level, screwdriver, nut, and bolt.

BUY NOW $25.00

ABC Building Blocks by Uncle Goose

These gorgeous wood building blocks are the foundations of open-ended play. They help kids practice hand-eye coordination and learn about balance and gravity. Oh, and they can begin to recognize letters and start spelling out words.

Buy Now $34.95

Learning Resources Botley 2.0 The Coding Robot

The new and improved Botley lets kids work on their grasp of screen-free coding. This Botley has eyes that change colors, and he can perform 45 degree turns and even has night vision capabilities. Kids program him to move in different directions or put on a light show.

Buy Now $52.82

Doctor Role Play Costume Set by Melissa & Doug

Real-world toys like this set help 4-year-olds make sense of the complicated, often overwhelming things they see in the adult world. And let's face it: Seeing a doctor can be a scary thing. This gorgeous medical kit is great for pretend play, as kids dole out pretend shots and take your blood pressure.

Buy Now $27.65

Hand Puppet by Cate & Levi

These offbeat, handmade wool puppets are a fantastic way for kids to act out stories and immerse themselves in pretend play.

Buy Now $19.99

Bristle Blocks by Battat

These 112 interlocking blocks connect together and let kids build towers or cars or dinosaurs or castles or, or, or.

Buy Now $15.50

Imagination Magnets by MindWare

By age four, kids recognize their own body parts. This magnetic set lets them create animals, faces, cars, flowers, and buildings. From flowers to skyscrapers to dogs to mom and dad, the proverbial sky's the limit. They can follow the enclosed puzzle cards, or freestyle. And when done, the magnets are stored in the wood carrying case.

Buy Now $29.95

Magna-Tiles Stardust Set

Kids get insanely creative with Magna-Tiles, and this set has 15 colorful, shiny and glittery shapes including four mirrored squares, seven glitter squares and four equilateral triangles.Kids can use these magnetic blocks to create and build complex structures, which helps with critical thinking and problem solving.

Buy Now $29.99

Dynamo Wooden Domino Set by Hape

This 100-piece domino play set encourages children’s spatial thinking abilities and color recognition, and fosters a basic understanding of physics. What goes up must come down. Kids learn that, and more, with this deceptively simple yet utterly cool domino set. It includes a bridge, a bell and assorted tricks that add extra drama to the domino racing game.

Buy Now $35.67

Playfoam by Educational Insights

It's like slime, without the mess. This non-sticky stuff never dries out, and is great for hands-on sculpting. Not only does it foster creativity, but it glows in the dark.

Buy Now $19.99

Wooden Dollhouse by Hape

A gender-neutral dream house that lets kids play together and act out scenarios they see at home or at school. With six rooms and furniture included, this dollhouse leaves tons of opportunity for open-ended play that won't get repetitive.

Buy Now $127.99

Magnatab by Kid O

This magnatab allows kids to 'draw' by using a magnet to flip over metal spheres, revealing their silver-colored underside. It's like the modern-day etch-a-sketch, and can be used to draw over and over again. And it glows in the dark.

Buy Now $29.99

Checkout Register by Hape

Sure, this cash register sneakily teaches kids about math. And yes, it shows them the basics of what it means to have and spend money. But it's also a good time, as they pretend to run a store, or a cafe, and charge their customers using the bar code scanner and card reader. Plus, they need to count out exact change.

Buy Now $33.49

Every product on Fatherly is independently selected by our editors, writers, and experts. If you click a link on our site and buy something, we may earn an affiliate commission.

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The post The Best Gifts for 4-Year-Olds, According to Child Development Experts appeared first on Fatherly.

Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/the-best-gifts-for-4-year-olds-according-to-child-development-experts

[earthfulbliss]

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[brazenlotus]

New Patch Today!

Tuesday, 22 August 2017

THE SIMS 4 PATCH NOTES

UPDATE: 8/22/2017 – PC Version 1.33.38.1020 / Mac Version 1.33.38.1220

Hey Simmers,

The end of summer is here and… you know, whenever I talk to my mom she wants to talk about the weather. It’s kind of our starting point to get the conversation motor running, after the weather we start talking about more meaningful things… our brains are in conversation mode, and we are ready to go… so, with that…

…on to the issues.

General Issues

Unlocking the Beloved Trait for the second time should no longer cause the first unlocked Beloved Trait to fail to function.

Highlander-esque code has been cut off from the top… there can be only… more than one really.

Sad Sims once again look sad and not worried when they express their sadness.

“E’en the most gifted bard’s rhyme can only sing but to the lack of her and all she isn’t. His tongue doth trip-“ -Gustave

You will now get a notification warning you that your baby will be taken away if you neglect them.

You horrible horrible person…

…not that we’re judging. Perhaps it was just a busy day…

…and you had the sound off.

… and you wanted to finish a painting.

We at Maxis will never judge…

….you horrible person.

Clothing color swatches that are already highlighted in the panel will now apply to the Sim in Create a Sim when clicked on.

The quick meals previously added for toddlers are now also available for all ages.

Because who doesn’t like a bowl of applesauce.

If it were really a sauce, why do we eat it by itself?

I’m looking at you salsa drinkers.

Nannies, butlers, and maids should no longer stand idle for long periods of time after cleaning a toy box.

We addressed an issue with the Make Happy cheat. It will once again fulfill the motives of the target Sim, and not the active Sim.

Children, when told to play with a toy, will no longer grab a toy, pull it out, play with it for less than a brief moment, and then place it in their inventory. They will now play with the toy for a reasonable period of time.

Tell a child to play with their toys? You there, small child, stop scrubbing the floors and go play with your toys. I swear, kids these days, it’s all work work work… why back in my day, we used to play with a ball uphill, both ways, barefoot in the grassy fields, with the sun shining brightly on our faces, as a gentle breeze kept our brow cool.

Auto light settings will now properly save even if bills are currently delinquent.

Lights should no longer revert to their default intensity after setting the lights to auto-lights.

Children will no longer be able to purchase the beguiling reward trait.

Listen Deeply is now available on the stereo for music lovers whether they have Get to Work installed or not.

Addressed an issue that would result in some glasses clipping with the Sims faces, in particular yuAcc_GlassesXLoPStar, yuAcc_GlassesSP05RoundLarge, and yfAcc_GlassesMod.

City Living

Singing at a Karaoke Machine for an hour, will now complete the Sing at the Karaoke Bar city event goal.

An hour of singing Karaoke? Ok, I’m not sure what is worse… the notification that I neglected my baby, or singing Karaoke for an hour.

Masculine Sims in the Politics Career will now always wear shoes when going to work.

I KNEW IT, those podiums are so obfuscating!

Sims should no longer get the Spicy Burn buff when they have the Spice Hound reward trait.

Users will now receive the proper amount of Simoleons when setting markup to 200% while selling at a yard sale.

Get Together

Sims in a club with the club rule "Watch Movies" will now watch movies.

Welcome to Movie Club, we’re just about ready to watch…

Yea, don’t care.

Ok, so we get together, watch movies, and then talk…

Yep, great, where’s the food?

Right, so ok, um, there’s food in the kitchen, help yourself, and if you could clean up…

Nah.

The club perk to give a bonus to your Singing Skill is back.

Get to Work

The "Known Alien" relationship will no longer appear twice in the relationship panel.

The Retail Hours timer will now correctly state how long the store has been open… rather than just always showing zero.

Ok, so it’s payday. Let’s see how long you worked this week? Ok… so the store didn’t open this week, so nothing.

But I worked all week.

Yea, I’m seeing a zero here. So, we’ll see you next week then? Same time. Good.

To midnight most days…

… I missed my own birthday…

… my grandma died of laughter while I was at work…

… they took away my baby.

Parenthood

A light brown color swatch has been added to yf/ymHair_GP05MedStraight.

Vampires

You can now use the Bring Here interaction on household vampires when they are not currently on the active lot.

…because the interaction is now present.

Vampires can now complete the Get into a Fight whim with the vampire fight interactions.

Fights with vampires now count towards the Get Into 5 Fights goal of the Public Enemy aspiration.

Vampires will no longer pretend to be asleep after midnight when you attempt to call them, they will now answer your call.

Every time… right when I sneak in for dinner.

Vampire Sims can now be selected as guests and as the birthday Sim during Birthday parties set during the daytime.

Note: Daytime invite of vampires may result in minor to severe sun burning, and possibly even death.

Note: Nighttime invite of vampires may result in minor to severe undeath.

Vlad is now able to turn Sims he has a friendly relationship with into a vampire when offering the gift of eternal life.

But, I thought we were buds?

Choosing The Winged Imp Gargoyle’s black swatch will now select the color black.

Fixed an issue that could leave two vampire Sims at speed 3 after woohoo.

Dine Out

We fixed an issue that could result in Sims wearing random clothing rather than a towel, when changing into a towel at the gym.

Fitness Stuff

Updated the choker necklace to appear when worn with yfTop_SP11HoodieCropBand and yfTop_SP11TankCroppedWrap.

Bowling Night

Sims should now choose to bowl at underground bowling lanes… If you were to build an underground bowling alley.

Where were you last night?

I was at… the… club.

You were at the underground bowling alley… weren’t you!?

No… it was the… dance club.

Why are you wearing a blue and pink polyester shirt that says Bubbas Bowling League?

It was polyester shirt night?

Vintage Glamour

Butlers will remember who they are working for, even if you load a different household to play.

Jeeves?

No madam, my name is Binks madam.

But he was taking care of the baby!

I’m sorry madam, but there is this notification.

Butlers should no longer appear in your list to hire a butler if that butler was formerly fired.

Cool Kitchen

Sims fingers should no longer deform oddly when wearing ymTop_SP03DenimShirt.

Thank you to our players, our community, finders of issues, organizers of chaos, creators, builders, and storytellers everywhere. Most sincerely,

-SimGuruGnome

[thesims4blogger]

New Game Update for The Sims 4

With Gamescom in full swing, and The Sims 4 Toddler Stuff soon launching, it’s time for another game update!

You can check out the patch notes from SimGuruGnome below, and of course upgrade your game via. Origin. Before you update, be sure to disable any mods and custom content!

Patch Notes – 22nd August 2017

Hey Simmers,

The end of summer is here and… you know, whenever I talk to my mom she wants to talk about the weather. It’s kind of our starting point to get the conversation motor running, after the weather we start talking about more meaningful things… our brains are in conversation mode, and we are ready to go… so, with that…

…on to the issues.

General Issues

Unlocking the Beloved Trait for the second time should no longer cause the first unlocked Beloved Trait to fail to function.

Sad Sims once again look sad and not worried when they express their sadness.

You will now get a notification warning you that your baby will be taken away if you neglect them.

Clothing color swatches that are already highlighted in the panel will now apply to the Sim in Create a Sim when clicked on.

The quick meals previously added for toddlers are now also available for all ages.

Nannies, butlers, and maids should no longer stand idle for long periods of time after cleaning a toy box.

We addressed an issue with the Make Happy cheat. It will once again fulfill the motives of the target Sim, and not the active Sim.

Children, when told to play with a toy, will no longer grab a toy, pull it out, play with it for less than a brief moment, and then place it in their inventory. They will now play with the toy for a reasonable period of time.

Auto light settings will now properly save even if bills are currently delinquent.

Lights should no longer revert to their default intensity after setting the lights to auto-lights.

Children will no longer be able to purchase the beguiling reward trait.

Listen Deeply is now available on the stereo for music lovers whether they have Get to Work installed or not.

Addressed an issue that would result in some glasses clipping with the Sims faces, in particular yuAcc_GlassesXLoPStar, yuAcc_GlassesSP05RoundLarge, and yfAcc_GlassesMod.

Highlander-esque code has been cut off from the top… there can be only… more than one really.

“E’en the most gifted bard’s rhyme can only sing but to the lack of her and all she isn’t. His tongue doth trip-“ -Gustave

You horrible horrible person…

…not that we’re judging. Perhaps it was just a busy day…

…and you had the sound off.

… and you wanted to finish a painting.

We at Maxis will never judge…

….you horrible person.

Because who doesn’t like a bowl of applesauce.

If it were really a sauce, why do we eat it by itself?

I’m looking at you salsa drinkers.

Tell a child to play with their toys? You there, small child, stop scrubbing the floors and go play with your toys. I swear, kids these days, it’s all work work work… why back in my day, we used to play with a ball uphill, both ways, barefoot in the grassy fields, with the sun shining brightly on our faces, as a gentle breeze kept our brow cool.

City Living

Singing at a Karaoke Machine for an hour, will now complete the Sing at the Karaoke Bar city event goal.

Masculine Sims in the Politics Career will now always wear shoes when going to work.

Sims should no longer get the Spicy Burn buff when they have the Spice Hound reward trait.

Users will now receive the proper amount of Simoleons when setting markup to 200% while selling at a yard sale.

An hour of singing Karaoke? Ok, I’m not sure what is worse… the notification that I neglected my baby, or singing Karaoke for an hour.

I KNEW IT, those podiums are so obfuscating!

Get Together

Sims in a club with the club rule “Watch Movies” will now watch movies.

The club perk to give a bonus to your Singing Skill is back.

Welcome to Movie Club, we’re just about ready to watch…

Yea, don’t care.

Ok, so we get together, watch movies, and then talk…

Yep, great, where’s the food?

Right, so ok, um, there’s food in the kitchen, help yourself, and if you could clean up…

Nah.

Get to Work

The “Known Alien” relationship will no longer appear twice in the relationship panel.

The Retail Hours timer will now correctly state how long the store has been open… rather than just always showing zero.

Ok, so it’s payday. Let’s see how long you worked this week? Ok… so the store didn’t open this week, so nothing.

But I worked all week.

Yea, I’m seeing a zero here. So, we’ll see you next week then? Same time. Good.

To midnight most days…

… I missed my own birthday…

… my grandma died of laughter while I was at work…

… they took away my baby.

Parenthood

A light brown color swatch has been added to yf/ymHair_GP05MedStraight.

Vampires

You can now use the Bring Here interaction on household vampires when they are not currently on the active lot.

Vampires can now complete the Get into a Fight whim with the vampire fight interactions.

Fights with vampires now count towards the Get Into 5 Fights goal of the Public Enemy aspiration.

Vampires will no longer pretend to be asleep after midnight when you attempt to call them, they will now answer your call.

Vampire Sims can now be selected as guests and as the birthday Sim during Birthday parties set during the daytime.

Vlad is now able to turn Sims he has a friendly relationship with into a vampire when offering the gift of eternal life.

Choosing The Winged Imp Gargoyle’s black swatch will now select the color black.

Fixed an issue that could leave two vampire Sims at speed 3 after woohoo.

…because the interaction is now present.

Every time… right when I sneak in for dinner.

Note: Daytime invite of vampires may result in minor to severe sun burning, and possibly even death.

Note: Nighttime invite of vampires may result in minor to severe undeath.

But, I thought we were buds?

Dine Out

We fixed an issue that could result in Sims wearing random clothing rather than a towel, when changing into a towel at the gym.

Fitness Stuff

Updated the choker necklace to appear when worn with yfTop_SP11HoodieCropBand and yfTop_SP11TankCroppedWrap.

Bowling Night

Sims should now choose to bowl at underground bowling lanes… If you were to build an underground bowling alley.

Where were you last night?

You were at the underground bowling alley… weren’t you!?

Why are you wearing a blue and pink polyester shirt that says Bubbas Bowling League?

I was at… the… club.

No… it was the… dance club.

It was polyester shirt night?

Vintage Glamour

Butlers will remember who they are working for, even if you load a different household to play.

Butlers should no longer appear in your list to hire a butler if that butler was formerly fired.

Jeeves?

But he was taking care of the baby!

No madam, my name is Binks madam.

I’m sorry madam, but there is this notification.

Cool Kitchen

Sims fingers should no longer deform oddly when wearing ymTop_SP03DenimShirt.

Thank you to our players, our community, finders of issues, organizers of chaos, creators, builders, and storytellers everywhere. Most sincerely,

-SimGuruGnome

[junker-town]

Who won Hall of Fame Game week in the NFL?

Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports

Michael Thomas got a massive contract. Vic Fangio got a kidney stone. Tough call, tough call.

Winning in the NFL doesn’t just happen on the field. Victories large and small come in many different forms, ranging from nine-figure contract extensions to a few kind words said by an important figure.

While we’ve got a whole table to determine division-by-division standings and playoff odds, we often lose track of the more subtle victors each week. Rather than just running down a list of the Dolphins’ weekly opponents this fall, I decided to take a deeper look at the winners who transcend the box scores and spill glorious into the greater world as a whole.

Which is good, because this week’s, uh, limited slate of games didn’t tell the world much about the 2019 season other than which team, the Broncos or the Falcons, had the weaker fourth-string lineup. So who “won” the first, single-game week of this summer’s preseason?

First let’s start with who didn’t.

Not considered: the actual football at the Hall of Fame Game

Due to an internet outage, I missed the first two minutes of gameplay in Canton. Somehow this equated to TWO ENTIRE POSSESSIONS.

Through their first three drives, the Falcons had twice as many penalties (two) as net yards (one). Ten of the game’s first 12 drives ended in punts. Three of those punts were muffed. It took rookie quarterback Drew Lock four passes to get within three yards of his intended target downfield. Denver challenged a pass interference call seemingly just to be the answer to an obscure trivia question for years to come.

But hey, if you liked six-yard passes on third-and-9, THIS was the game for you.

the 2019 Hall of Fame Game's longest plays: 3. DEN RB Khalfani Muhammad, 31 yard run 2. ATL DE John Cominsky, 33 yard muffed punt recovery 1. DEN CB Linden Stephens, 43 yard pass interference penalty

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) August 2, 2019

Kurt Benkert was the shining star of this wind-up car demolition derby, and he still threw for 5.4 yards per pass and left the game in the fourth quarter with a foot injury. He and Matt Schaub are currently dueling for the chance to start Atlanta’s meaningless Week 17 game after half the roster has been shunted to the injured list by conquest, pestilence, war, and death. Falcons fans will shake their heads and mournfully tell the world they “knew it would end this way.”

While we’re on the topic of premonitions Falcons fans can feel in their bones, Atlanta lost thanks to a tipped-ball touchdown on fourth down with under two minutes to play. This was the only vaguely exciting moment in football’s 2019 preseason debut.

Now, on to the winners ...

5. Resplendent old guys at the Hall of Fame Game

Tony Gonzalez is gonna look like this until he’s 80:

Tell me he wouldn’t still put up 60 catches if the Patriots or Cowboys called tomorrow.

Ed Reed would probably do all right too. He looks like he’s spent the past five seasons gearing up to fly a fighter jet against an alien invasion that will ultimately be foiled because their spaceships run on binary code.

@TwentyER pic.twitter.com/9Bd1jZ0Jqw

— Baltimore Ravens (@Ravens) August 2, 2019

Former WCW superstar Kevin Greene (and part-time pass rusher, I guess) also made the most of his camera time.

The guy’s 57 years old and still rocking an absolute Hercules mane. Bonus points for wearing a watch apparently made from the tie-down straps of a military cargo plane.

4. Nathan Peterman, whom everyone* likes

Everyone loves an underdog. As far as NFL quarterbacks go, there’s no bigger underdog than Peterman, the man who once threw five interceptions in a 14-pass stretch to kick off his first NFL start. Getting chased out of Buffalo for ineffectiveness is typically the kind of offense that precludes a player’s journey to a budding and ultimately fruitless spring football league.

Not the Peter Man.

No, the quarterback whose bedraggled play in western New York made us all fall in love and spawned the least-hype hype video ever made is getting a second chance in Oakland. And, like the guy he beat out for a roster spot last year, Jon Gruden has a preseason crush on him for some reason.

“I like these guys. This Nate Peterman is growing on me,” Gruden told reporters at training camp. “He’s athletic. I know he’s had some nightmare performances in the NFL, but when you watch the film you can see why. It’s not all his fault, but he’s got some talent, he’s got some athleticism, he’s got some experience. Here’s an opening day starter for the Buffalo Bills last year. I take that very serious. And he’s smart. He’s done a good job, he’s been consistent and I think he’s starting to get his confidence back and we all need that.”

Naturally, this news was well received by Raiders fans. From SB Nation’s Silver and Black Pride:

No, coach, no. This is the sort of thing that Mark Davis should roll up a newspaper and smack Jon Gruden on the nose for saying. I get that Peterman played for literally the Bills and that he looks the part, like how a successful quarterback should look, in shorts. But Peterman also has a record of 1-3 as a starter and a QB/INT ratio of 3/12. He was aggressively ‘meh’ in college at Pitt, where he was essentially a more boring version of Tyler Palko, and when he got to the pro ranks based entirely on his genetics and through no achievements of his own, he proved how overmatched he was and how his decision-making ability rivals that of the kid who climbed in the gorilla pen with Harambe. Nate Peterman is the sort of musclebound stiff Vince McMahon would try and fail to make a big star in the 1980s.

But the joke’s on you, Peterman haters. Gruden’s not the only guy who likes this scrappy young upstart.

Find yourself a teammate who supports you like @derekcarrqb supports Nathan Peterman. #HardKnocksNow pic.twitter.com/WaElOAE0fA

— NFL Films (@NFLFilms) July 31, 2019

Peterman’s just out here trying to do his best, man. Listen to Derek Carr and give him his shoe deal. Preferably something from Member’s Mark.

*citation needed

3. Derek Carr, who is not threatened in the least

He gets to be friends with Peterman! He’s gonna be neighbors with Gruden!

It’s true. As David Carr said, Derek Carr has bought a home in Las Vegas. When it’s complete and he finally moves in, his neighbor will be ... Jon Gruden. #Raiders

— Vic Tafur (@VicTafur) August 1, 2019

I hope he likes cookouts where the only food option is Hooters takeout.

2. Jordan Lasley, who proved himself worthy of the Raiders (while a Raven)

If you get released for punching teammates and celebrating too hard, you get to be on Hard Knocks. Sorry, that’s how the league works now.

Here, you can kind of see the ball Jordan Lasley threw into the nearby pond shortly after his fight with the DBs. pic.twitter.com/AQyrDw8509

— Jonas Shaffer (@jonas_shaffer) July 29, 2019

The Raiders claimed Lasley — a 2018 fifth-round pick with zero career NFL receptions — days after Baltimore released him for fighting cornerback Cyrus Jones and turning his fists on safety Bennett Jackson for having the audacity to prevent him from breaking his hands on Jones’ helmet.

First fight of Ravens camp: WR Jordan Lasley takes exception to CB Cyrus Jones going high in press coverage and the two exchange blows. S Bennett Jackson tries to break it up and Lasley swings at him. Jackson then tackles Lasley to ground.

— Jamison Hensley (@jamisonhensley) July 29, 2019

Now Gruden has two quarterbacks who are best friends and an entire roster that wants nothing more than to fight anything and everything in its path.

Oakland’s final day of camp should just be a 30-man over the top rope battle royale. Last five men standing get roster spots. Winner takes on Vontaze Burfict at Halloween Havoc.

1. Michael Thomas, who now has an opinion on the capital gains tax

Is Thomas the best wide receiver in the league? It’s debatable, but you can make a strong argument for it. The fourth-year wideout has excelled in New Orleans, catching 229 passes the past two years for 2,650 yards. More impressively, he did so despite drawing constant double-teams from opposing secondaries who saw fellow wideouts like Tommylee Lewis, Willie Snead, Tre’Quan Smith, and a hobbled 33-year-old Ted Ginn and giggled to themselves, “heh, no.”

Is Thomas the highest-paid wide receiver in the league? He is now. Rather than run even the slightest risk of losing Drew Brees’ favorite target to either a preseason holdout or 2020 free agency, the Saints made him the first pass catcher to garner a $100 million contract, inking him for five years with $61 million in guarantees. He’ll now be counted on to present a field-stretching menace who not only gives Brees the latitude to make video game throws downfield, but also creates a little extra space for Alvin Kamara to create havoc.

Most importantly for New Orleans, Thomas was the balm that soothed Brees’ late-season blisters. The veteran quarterback appeared worn out while falling off an early MVP run; after recording a 126.9 passer rating in his first 10 games, that number dropped to 91.5 in his final five. Thomas’ numbers fell off in that home stretch too, but he still averaged eight catches and 65 yards per game. If the combination of extra defensive pressure and a reduced Brees aren’t enough to drop him to sub-Pro Bowl levels, what will?

Thomas got a record-setting contract and more ammunition in his battle to be crowned the league’s best receiver. And he didn’t have to play in the Hall of Fame Game. He wins this week.

Special mention: NOT Vic Fangio’s urethra

Fangio’s first game (kinda) as an NFL head coach after breaking into the pro coaching ranks 35 years ago almost didn’t happen.

Broncos’ HC Vic Fangio, scheduled to make his HC debut tonight vs Atlanta in Hall-Of-Fane game, spent a good part of the day in a Cleveland hospital with a kidney stone, per source. Fangio has not passed it yet, but he is doing better and he will try to coach tonight.

— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) August 1, 2019

That every Broncos sideline shot Thursday night wasn’t just a window into the depths of human suffering was the Hall of Fame Game’s biggest upset. Every second he stood upright was a victory over the mutiny taking place inside his own body. With pirate ships circling his kidneys, Fangio stood atop his deck, surveyed the landscape, and asked his first mate to bring him his red pants.

Not that the pain wasn’t evident at times, despite a stoic front.

Fangio, for the record, wore this expression for four straight hours. Did he do all this just to become the first NFL coach to challenge a pass interference call? Probably!

[dead-palette]

Jeff the Killer, New Beginnings

Hello there, I'll be using you to talk about the situation I find myself in. See, my name is Jefferson L. Killian, but you can just call me Jeffry. I'm 22 and recently moved from Tucson Arizona to Alton Utah with my mom, dad, and stupid adopted kid brother Liu. I like Yu gi oh, Roblox, and rap music. I'm actually thinking about starting a soundcloud to do yu gi oh parody rap battles. Or I was, before the bad day came. Now I'm no sure of anything anymore.

It all started a week ago when we moved into our new house, so Y2K had not hapened yet. I didn't want to move but my mom got a new job on a public access kid show writing. Her idea was called super puppet friends. Anyway, the new house was in a nicer neighborhood than our last one. I can tell because I saw married couples wearing sweaters tied around their shoulders. My parents forced me and my 14 year old brother to go to a new church. I wish we could go to normal church, sadly we're Mormon. When we got there, some men in black greeted my parents but I had to look after the kids in the daycare, INCLUDING my super adopted brother. The daycare was in the basement, and ugh, the smell. It was like a new kind of poop smell that was clearly poop, but like modified in a lab. The genetic code of this poop wasn't meant to occur naturally in nature.

So I surveyed the room. In the middle were a group of kids playing Beyblades in the middle of the room. They were playing Beyblades in the middle of the room in a hulahoop, not the officially licensed Metal Fusion Beystadium by Takara Tomy like my brother uses. My brother ran over and started playing took out his Burn Fireblaze Pheonix metal beyblade. I saw one black kid using a Twisted Tempo spinner, and another using a Diablo Nemesis Metal Fury. I hated Beyblades so much. They all yelled "Let a rip!".

One boy ran up to me and complained that they wouldn't let him play because he didn't have his own Beyblade. This boy might have been patient zero of the genetically modified super poop experiement. He had what I assumed what chocolate pudding on his face and nose, and did have a cowboy hat on. The whole time he whined he was itching his butt, really using his red shorts to get in their. I told him to wash his hands first. He then went to the near by drinking fountain and rinsed his hands, only to dry both of them by itching his butt again. This redirection must have changed his train of thought.

Over to the left area of the basement was kids playing with lego. If you didn't know, the plural of lego is lego, not legos, but I bet these stupid kids didn't know that. A few of the lego were officially licensed by the Lego Group of Denmark. The rest were some christian knock off legos. Like noah's ark themed bricks and the naviety scene. These lego bricks symbolized the death and rebirth I'd go through to become the man I am now. The one Ninjago toy that was officially licensed, Kai, symbolized the power I'd WELD.

Over to the right area of the basement there was some kind of some leaking pipes. The leaks were flooding the floor on the right side of the room. But no one seems to take notice of the leaking pipes and the wet floor. Besides dookie kid who would ocassionally jump up and down in the water, sending small splashes of putrid water of to the left area of the room, where the lego kids were playing at. Near the back of the room, opposite me, was a child having an intense game of pocket pool. Focusing my eyes, it was Randy, a boy my age. Randy had a skatebored at his feet and his hands in his pockets. I wondered if the strange curve in his back was natural or if it came from how good his game of pocket pool felt. Randy wore a black trench coat and a fetching white ascot. His hair was qcouffed in a manner that made him look like Joseph Smith if he was a school shooter. His skatebored had tight wheels on it, and it's underside had a picture of Dark Link from Ocarina of Time on it. Randy also wore a nametag that said Randy Anthon of the LatterDay Saints. That's when his eyes connected with me.

I wore white hoodie. I like to wear white to show off my positive attitude toward life. My hair was pure black and unqcouffed. My body has numberous scares from cutting myself. My pants WHERE black to slim my legs. I never liked my legs, too leggy if you ask me. Anyway, Randy gave off an aura of malice. I could just tell he had something to do with the Anthon Forgeries that made Mormons look like fools years ago. If not for that slip up, Mormonism might have been mainstream by now. But I couldn't let myself get distracted by that at a time like this, in this hell hole.

That's when a Bishop came down stairs with a cart full of snacks. The Bishop wore a red bow time and red suspenders, a white dress shirt and black dress pants. His haircut was dorky with disturbingly even bangs and ginger-y hair. His ears were big and magnifient. He started to introduce himself to myself and my adopted brother liu as "Bishop Bob Backlund." But then he started just yelling at me. He wanted to know why the pipes were leaking. I of coursed had nothing to do with it. But he wouldn't listen and blamed me. He pushed me on to the floor and told me to serve the the snacks if I wanted to stay a Mormon. Then he left.

Randy was laughing as he walked out of the room with the Bishop. I was so made, but I couldn't have my Mormonism revoked. My parents would be pissed. So I served the snack. The snack was either goldfish or vanilla wafers served in white coffee filters. And every child also got a can of warm ginger ale. But the Ginger ale was Canada Dry. My old Mormon church had Verners Ginger Ale. I couldn't deal with all this change.

Once all the children had snacks, they all resulted to their activities, getting goldfish and waffer crumbles everywhere. I started watching the children playing with K'Nex because I didn't have any paper to write Roblox raps. While all of the K'Nex were officially licensed by the K'Nex Industries Inc, many pieces were missing making the hole thing sad. They did have the K'New Plane that you got from Pizza Hut. My mom actually directed the Pizza Head commericals for Pizza Hut, so I had all the Pizza Hut K'Nex until we adopted Liu from China. I also got lots of Muchtown meals.

But while my attention was focused on the K'Nex, I missed some awful happening at the other area of the room. When I noticed, time slowed down. It was clear that this would be the defining moments of my life. And it didn't turn with a whimper, but a bang, of horrorific bang. A bang that would turn me into a harbinger of evil. Gone was the pure Jeff that believed in truth, justice, and the Book of Mormon. No, I would become death, bringer of evil. It was cowboy hat boy. His pants were down. His small small little boy penis hanging out. He was standing over the puddle, his vibrant red shorts around his ankles getting wet on the floor. Scattered around him were gradually softening goldfish, turning into puff balls. His back was arched in an all too famaliar way, a sign of inpending doom. Behind him was a trash can placed flush against the wall. His hands, far above his head and clinche into granite fist like victorious vice grips. That's when he yelled the incandation that brought to earth to a stand still. "LET A RIP!"

A shotgun blast of solid yet wet shit erupted forth from his prepubest bum and hit the wall without loosting any elevation, then shattering and recocheting on impact. Bit of wet poop landed on everything and everyone in a circular reverberance zone. The remants of dookie that stuck to the wall began to loosen and fall, hitting the rim of the trashcan but falling to the floor. This happen as a second burst detonated even louder and more sour sounding than the first. Now a mostly liquid napalm that traveled two and a half feet to the wall in a constant stream, that in turn back splashed landing mostly on the red shorts.

Then came Revelations 17:12. "The ten horns you saw are ten kings who have not yet received a kingdom, but who for one hour will receive authority as kings along with the beast." And these ten horns were ear deafing farts, the kind of piercing ordanance sounds that give soldiers life long nightmares. With my ears ringing and my mind boarding on insanity, a pee stream was unleashed from this tiny little man. A pee stream of a perturnatural nature, seeming to come from no where as it was impossible that it sprung from such a minuscule vessel considering the sheer literage of the urine in question. Whats more was the smell, the pee, not the poop, but the pee smells worst than anything I'd ever smelled. One might imagine puking, but the smell had such a tartness that it oppessed the heaving I was feeling in my gut. As my hearing returned, I heard the boy say one word with a blank expression on his face.

"Help"

That's when the Bishop returned and blamed me for the poop. It was so unsafe. He told me to clean it up. He handed me some cleaning supplies and sent all the kids home. I tried cleaning the trash can with bleach and ammonia and it burned me, turning me into a monster. I went broke into the Churches Musuem and stole the Kitchen Knife of Latterday Saints, the knife destine to end the Beast.

Afterwards, I broke into the inner sactum of the church where Randy, Troy, and Keith were all drinking ginger ale from the glass bowl of reformed Egyptians, one of the 3 scared objects of mormonism. I stabbed all three of them and drank from the bowl. Now I can read every langauge. Tihs made me Jeff the Killer, New Beginnings. Now go to sleep children of Abraham.