#Conclave (2024)

[belzetwo]

... Damn boy

[maalidoesart]

do not let him near a pc

also bonus:

[wopmia]

They are giving each other lots of kisses and are extremely corny (Little sketch I did on class)

[queerlocked]

Pahahahahh

Soo, I was looking for pictures of Tedesco today and I stumbled upon this picture

and after a while I noticed that Tedesco has something red on his bag!

At first I thought that it's some sort of casing for his vape, but I realized that it's too small for that to be the case. My friend @literarni-literat then suggested it was just a tag (obviously one that is matching to his outfit because he's a DIVA) so that Tedesco or his assistant could find his bag easier and not confuse it with anyone else's. I agreed, but at the same time I noticed that there is a sort of grey line on it's side. And that's where it hit me-

I am CERTAIN that Tedesco has a Swiss travel knife attached to his bag, THIS one in particular

You can even see the tiny logo a bit in the original picture and of course it has a key ring

I have no idea why the fuck would a cardinal of the Catholic church let alone TEDESCO need such a thing, but here we are

[agyo]

wokepope icon 4 pride month

[ballard96]

I love him so much if you guys couldnt tell already

[cardinalcucciolo]

am I funny

[tiresomespaceplant]

innocent

[mohich]

late holy father/aldo

[plaguewormart]

How much do yall wanna bet that Vincent keeps falling asleep in random spots and situations??

Vincent has lived more than half of his life in active war zones. He has learned to sleep in uncomfortable places, in loud spaces, surrounded by others. He can fall asleep anywhere as long as he feels safe enough, normally whenever surrounded by people he can trust would wake him if something happens.

It begins quite unremarkable. The pope falling asleep on the couch in his apartment while having tea with Thomas. Vincent dozing off during long car rides or flights. A guard nervously shaking a sleeping Vincent awake after watching him fall asleep next to the turtle pond.

The events are shrugged off. No one can expect the new pope to be energetic constantly, especially after long days spent working without breaks.

But as the months pass and Vincent starts getting even closer to his staff, his body starts betraying him. After a night full of nightmares, Vincent falls asleep at breakfast, in front of everyone in the Santa Martha dining hall. No one mentions it, but the concerned looks he gets make him blush in embarrassment.

After a particularly tough week, the Holy Father dozes off in the middle of a meeting. He awakes to six pair of eyes staring at him. Aldo reschedules the rest of the meeting and sends Vincent to bed, where he lays awake until dinner.

Aldo and Thomas bully Vincent into seeing a doctor. They think the pope might have some kind of medical issue. Vincent reluctantly agrees to the appointment. The doctor finds nothing that can cause the fatigue, but he does note down a suspicion of PTSD and chronic pain in Vincent’s medical records.

Vincent starts finding ways to keep himself awake. He finds that copious amounts of coffee help a bit, and so does the pain of digging his fingernails into his skin whenever he notices his eyelids getting heavier.

None of them realize what is actually happening until over a year later.

Vincent gets sick. It’s nothing serious, a case of the flu that’s been going around the Vatican. He’s ordered to rest, and sent to bed.

The fever makes him confused, and he’s not sure exactly where he is. He does know, however, that it’s not safe to sleep. He’s alone, and that’s dangerous.

Thomas comes to check on him, and finds the Holy Father curled up in a corner. His feverish eyes scanning the room for threats. Luckily, some part of Vincent seems to recognize Thomas as a friend.

After showing Vincent that there’s no threats in the apartment - by opening the closets and looking under the bed, as if calming a scared child - Vincent finally agrees to return to bed.

Once the pope is tucked in, Thomas starts to make his way to the door, but Vincent grabs his arm.

Thomas is confused at first, but what the Holy Father tells him next makes him understand the past year for the first time.

“Don’t go alone, it’s not safe.”

Thomas spends the night on a chair next to Vincent’s bed, and Vincent sleeps through the night for the first time since he left his flock.

[darthstitch]

Officially, the Papal Household has yet to recover from the Filipino Carbonara Incident.

There were exactly two people who actually liked Pope Innocent XIV's Filipino carbonara.

One of them was Cardinal Thomas Lawrence - to no one's surprise. He was, of course, initially skeptical, the Italian half of his heritage protesting in abject horror. However, all of his Italian ancestors fell silent at the first bite.

He actually had seconds and the pleased, beaming grin Vincent directed at him had nothing to do with the happy butterflies making his heart beat faster.

Somewhere in his subconscious, one of his Lomeli nonnas smiled wisely and said, "L’amore si misura in piatti cucinati." (Love is measured in cooked dishes)

The second person who actually enjoyed His Holiness' carbonara, was, of all people, Cardinal Goffredo Tedesco.

He shrugged as he ate the whole thing up with relish. "What? He never said it was a proper Italian carbonara! Let Sua Santità cook what he wants in his own cucina, eh?"

(This last remark may or may not have sent Cardinal Aldo Bellini composing his proposal to nominate the Pope for sainthood. This had to be a genuine, heaven-sent miracle.)

Sister Agnes had wisely set aside a corner in the kitchens for Pope Innocent and the sisters cheerfully kept the cupboards and fridge stocked with Filipino grocery and market staples. They smiled and greeted His Holiness whenever he wandered there. There were constant exchanges of recipes and kitchen tips.

There may or may not have been some candid shots uploaded to social media of a certain Supreme Pontiff believing himself incognito, wandering off to market with the sisters and at least one slightly nervous but still amused Dean.

A Twitter/X user basically tweeted this reaction: OMG THEY ARE SO DOMESTIC SEND HELP 😭😭😭

It was only a matter of time before someone took videos of Pope Innocent cooking (and making sure a certain Dean was well-fed, because honestly, mahal, it's no trouble at all, someone has to keep you from looking like a perpetually exhausted and hungry pigeon...).

Yes, there were actual videos.

Yes, they were uploaded.

Yes, Monsignor Ray caught the culprits but nobody got excommunicated since they all had the sense to edit the videos, clearly taken with a lot of affection for the parties involved.

Several things happened:

The videos, obviously, went viral. The entire planet adored seeing the tiny figure of Pope Innocent XIV cooking. Usually, he was out of his normal papal whites and was instead wearing the light blue barong favored by Filipino priests with the clerical collar and an apron.

A certain Secretary of State may or may not have watched a specific video several times, blushing like an infatuated schoolboy. Said video featured Cardinal Tedesco showing Pope Innocent how to cook "a proper Italian carbonara" and generally acting like actual siblings from another mother.

Sister Agnes revealed a complete diabolical streak when she commented that "This is Thomas' favorite - something his nonna used to make" when it was her turn to "guest star" in what the Internet now referred to as "Heaven's Kitchen." The blush on a certain Supreme Pinoytifex's face was meme-worthy.

The video of Pope Innocent teaching Cardinal Lawrence how to use a rice cooker got a reaction from YouTube's Uncle Roger, who commented: "Ohhh.... Pope Innocent true Asian. He teach Cardinal well. Yes, you wash the rice two times and use rice cooker, very easy. Fui-yoohhhh. Now you teach Cardinal Lawrence how to cook garlic rice. Don't forget MSG!"

TBC

@frogguchi this one's for you

[wormyyzzworm]

looking for monsignores who are cute and clumsy near me...

lolololololol

[cloudyysworld]

BABE WAKE UP IT'S GAY CATHOLICS SUMMER RENAISSANCE AHHH (The sandman x Conclave fandom where are u)

[zer0speranze]

[cardinaleturtle]

the papal converse