#Context. They got Louis in email | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

back2bluesidex · 3 years ago

Text

I FELL FIRST: 01 - JHS (M)

[MC's POV]

Summary: You have been with Him since the beginning. To you he was the only person that existed in the world, in your world. But to him, you are another pair of hands that clapped after each of his performance. Will it change when you secure a job in his dancing academy?

Pairing: Celebrity Choreographer!Hoseok X Reader

Theme: Angst, onesided pining, fluffy fluff, eventual smut, sexual tension

Warnings/Tags: Major angst, mentions of alcohol consumption, hardcore one-sided pining, a lot of deep talking, mature language, sexual thirst, Hoseok can appear to be an asshole but he's good at heart.

Word count: 5,655

a/n: I am kinda afraid, I don't know if you guys will like it or not. I write in first person since it feels more personal that way, hope you guys don't have any objection about it. Tell me how you like it, I reaaaaaalllllly wanna know.

Read Prologue for context

Next Chapter

------------------

"You're my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when the skies are gray

You'll never know dear how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away"

The lyrics played in my ear and I got temporarily distracted by the picture of Hoseok hanging on the wall of the office room. I was way too busy to associate the lyrics with my life that I didn't know Ms. Kang, the head of the event management team and also my boss, was standing right behind me. She cleared her throat and I heard it since the volume of my earphones wasn't high. I turned to her and immediately stood up pulling the earphones out from my ears. "Good morning Ms. Kang" I bowed a little. "Good morning Y/N. Is your work almost done?" She asked. "I have a little more research to do on the venue. You'll have the file before lunch." I smiled at her. "That's good" she retreated to her cubicle.

This middle aged lady was much nicer than my former asshole boss. It has been two weeks since I was working there and I never gave her any chance of disappointment. My work was always an hour before the deadline and I have impressed her with my organising and research skills already and I could tell that she already liked me a lot. Good for me though.

She called my name again, shortly after getting seated in her place. "Y/N, I have a good news for you. Hoseok has come back and he will pay you a visit before the lunch break" she informed. "WHAT??" I exclaimed. She chuckled, seeing my surprised face. "Yeah. It's not a big of a deal Y/N. He usually visits every new staff member. Even if it's a new janitor. I believe you know he was in Japan for the past two weeks and he missed the chance of meeting you. He's coming back to the academy today so he'll pay you a visit. I'm sure you're on cloud nine now" she laughed. I wasn't even in the condition to reply to her. I was zoning out for a good 5 minutes until I realized I promised to complete the file before lunch.

Compiling every research item neatly in the file I hit the send button of the email. A sigh of relief escaped my lips. I was very particular about my work and I never liked to disappoint anyone, moreover, disappoint myself. Ms. Kang was out for about 10 minutes. I was lazily browsing through the file for one more time when Ms. Kang came back but not alone. My eyes landed on him, Jung hoseok, the man I'm crazily in love with, just at the exact same time when his eyes landed on me. An eye contact, an unexpected one, and I was left breathless. He smiled at me and I could promise I would have melted then and there. He walked right behind Ms. Kang, came towards me. White oversized Louis Vuitton t-shirt paired with a pair of ripped blue denim. His smile was constant, so was my gaze on him. I couldn't tear my eyes off of him even when Ms. Kang started to formally introduce me. I was just ogling him as if he is a lucid dream and he would vanish if I blink. I just realized how beautiful he looks from up close. He is ethereal. His eyes, his heart-shaped lips, his sharp nose, his jawline everything about him was perfect. And I fell for him even more.

I was pushed out of my trance when I saw him extending his right hand towards me. I touched his hand with mine as if he was the most fragile existence on earth and he would break if I put much pressure. And the contact! What could I even say about it? His skin? Perfect. Electricity? 100000 volt. As an impact my heart took up an erratic pace.

"Nice to meet you Y/N. Hope you're enjoying working here." He said with his smooth honey-like voice and I swear my name never sounded better. I was still searching for the words, "I-uh, y-yeah". I ended up shuttering. I have never felt more nervous. Not even during my interviews or exams. All along people told me that I make them nervous but I never got nervous around anyone ever before that too, this much. He chuckled seeing my messed up form. Oh my god! It was the best sound I have ever heard. I could record it and listen to it 24X7. He came a step closer making me redder than ever. My heart was about to jump out of my chest but the man didn't cease his actions, he even had the audacity to bend to my level and look directly in my eyes. Either he had a very clear idea of his impact on me or he didn't have a clue, there was no in between.

"You're pretty Y/N" he said in a low voice. I felt like fainting. Did he really need to do that to me? I was already head over heels for him and now his harmless flirting would make me blush all day long and I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else. And that's the exact thing that happened that day. He left the room shortly after but his essence lingered with me all the damn day. And that was just the first day of encountering him, would I even survive working there? I thought to myself.

------------

Time flies fast and I didn't even realize when it had been a month since I joined. All of it was a blessing for some good deed that I did in my past life. Especially because I never stopped seeing Hoseok as he never stopped visiting our work room. He visited at least once a day to check up on all of us. He even joined us during lunch when there is a good menu in anyone's lunch box. Once he even bought coffee for all of us. We had small talks here and there, shared jokes, lunches and desserts at times. And I was happy with it all. I was happy with life. I was finally doing a job that I actually liked, I had a good boss who always appreciated me for my hard work, I had nice co-workers who focused more on getting the work done than licking supervisors' feet and last but not the least I was able to spend time with the man I am in love with. Even if it was just for 30 minutes a day, it was enough. I was happy along with a little bit of heartache at the end of the day.

It was all fine until that one night. After a long meeting on the upcoming festival in which the academy is going to take part, we all were tired. It was a Friday so we decided to have drinks together.

The main building of the academy was rather smaller than the other branches. There were no students in this building, there were only teachers. Yes, all the big choreographies, training and planning took place in this building. Hoseok himself used to train the other teachers and celebrities here in this building. And other than the choreography team there were only an administrative team and an event management team. The members of the meeting were consist of 10 people, only the most important ones. None of us had enough energy to drive to the bars or the restaurants. So we decided on ordering food and alcohol in the building.

Hoseok and a member from the administrative team were the designated drivers for the night so they had to stay sober. Hoseok's alcohol tolerance was a joke anyway, it was better for him. As for me, my tolerance was decent. I just tend to act a little braver when I'm tipsy. So I didn't even think twice before taking up dare during that old kind of truth and dare game.

"Show us your tattoo," Ms. Kang ordered. I didn't hesitate before pulling down the round neck of my plain black supreme t-shirt enough to expose the skin under my collarbone. The "JH" tattoo was clear and beautiful as always. "Hey, that's the same as my initial!" Hoseok said giggling, clearly not knowing the truth. "Yes. That's your initial, tattooed on me" I smiled looking dead into his eyes, he was sitting beside Eunbi, the administrative assistant, and Eunbi was sitting just across me. "But why do you have my initial tattooed?" He asked, confused. "Because I'm crazily in love with you" I answered without thinking about anything else. My mind was hazy, it was just me and him at that moment. I forgot he was still my employer and I was there among 8 others. A small smile lingered on my face when I held an intense eye contact with him. He looked away and by his face I could tell that he was uncomfortable. "Okay, it's getting late already. Let's all go home" Ms Kang said, sensing the tense atmosphere and I couldn't be more grateful to her.

While coming back I insisted on coming back on my own but Ms. Kang was adamant on dropping me. Both of us ended up in a cab together since she lived only 10 minutes away from me. The silence in the cab was comfortable. I laid my head on the backseat and glanced outside. The deserted roads of Seoul reflected my deserted self. I finally told the love of my life that I loved him but his face after the confession shot daggers in my heart. The way I made him uncomfortable! Ah! How could I! Something in my gut was telling me that I was about to be heavily avoided. A silent tear rolled down my cheek just with the thought.

And guess what? My gut feeling is never wrong. Hoseok eventually decreased visiting the event team. Whenever he came it was purely for work. And whenever he was there, it was just a small nod with a small smile that I received. It was all my fault. I wanted to apologize to him so badly but the damage was done already. I didn't even have the face to say that I was feeling terribly sorry. I stayed away from him too. I didn't want to make him any more uncomfortable. But the pain of being ignored by the man who defines my day and night was something I never suffered before. It killed me cell by cell, tissue by tissue.

-----------------

Three more weeks passed like that and I gradually started to crawl back in to my shell. It was that night when the whole academy decided to have a karaoke party, I had to stay in. The smallest studio was converted into a karaoke room. Everyone was singing, dancing, drinking, all in all enjoying themselves. I stayed there watching them, actually watching him, while he watched someone else. Kim Somi, one of the prettiest girls I have ever seen, one of the most talented one as well. The one to have the eyes of Jung Hoseok. I have observed the way Hoseok looked at her. His eyes were always different when he monitored her. There was always an added admiration in his eyes which used to be missing in the case of others. He had a hint of jealousy when Somi's partner touched her a bit extra during the practises. There was always a lingering smile on his face when he saw Somi smiling. I had observed it all and I had willingly pushed myself to the edge of destruction.

I never knew Somi could sing this well too, no wonder why Hoseok was giving her heart eyes. He was so subtle and he believed no one knew. But then there was me, who had eyes always open for him. His eyes made me cry almost. And I questioned myself again and again, why wasn't I fortunate enough to be at her place. I wanted to run away so bad. Run away from this pain, from him, from this stuffy place and everything else. I did as I thought. I exited the room successfully without making anyone notice me.

I stood there on the balcony perceiving the night view of this beautiful city. My eyes were glassy and I blinked them rapidly to get rid of the tears. "Hey" someone called and I knew who it was. I waved at him without saying anything. "What are you doing here? Not enjoying the party?" Hoseok asked. "Uh.. I just needed a bit of fresh air." I replied. My pain was increasing but I realized it was the best chance to apologize to him. "Ah, Hoseok, I needed to tell you something. If you don't mind,'' I said. He visibly tensed with my proposal and the sight increased my chest burn even more. "Yeah sure, go ahead." He smiled a little. "I am really sorry for that night. I know I made you too uncomfortable but I didn't intend to do so. I know you have stopped spending time with the crew because of me. I'll stay away I promise. You don't have to distance yourself from them. They miss you. And once again I'm extremely sorry." I said it all in what feels like a breath. I was so damn tense and Hoseok felt it. He placed his palm on my shoulder and said, "calm down Y/N. There's no need of apologizing. I am not upset with you. It's just that…" he lowered his head, "I felt bad. I mean.. uh- I actually am sorry, you know. I felt too bad for you. You are such a beautiful human being and I adore you. You deserve someone who can love you with everything. But I am sorry…" he breathed out. "You're sorry for what Hoseok? For not being able to return my feelings?" I chuckled a sad chuckle. " Do you think I fell for you expecting you to love me back? If you did, then you're wrong, Jung Hoseok. I have been in love with you for a long time now and never once I expected reciprocation. Just you are enough, your presence is enough and it will always be enough for my not-so-demanding heart." I looked at him deep in his eyes.

"I know you must have thought I was asking you to be my boyfriend after I confessed without thinking anything that night. But trust me Hoseok, it is not that. I won't blame it on the alcohol solely. A part of me definitely wanted to let you know how I actually feel but I never looked for your reciprocation. I have been watching you since your street-dancer days. I have only missed two underground performances of yours due to my exams. I have congratulated you with your favorite white roses when you got your first job as a choreographer and when you opened your first academy. All of these I did without expecting anything from you and because I am thankful to you. You have been the one to stick to me when everyone else left. Your soulful performances are my escape. Your SoundCloud albums are my comfort place. If I am here right now that is because I wanted to be a part of your team and not because I wanted to come after you and throw myself and my feelings at you. I know my place well. So please don't feel sorry for not being able to love me back, I never expected that in the first place. I am more than happy just to be able to see you up close, just to get to talk to you, just to spend unexpected times with you like this. Please don't misunderstand me and take that away from me. Please." I finished whatever my heart was holding for all these times. I closed my eyes, I was afraid of his reaction.

"That… was… deep" he said slowly. I could tell that he was short of words. He continued, "I am sorry for misunderstanding you Y/N. I never thought love could be so selfless. I am grateful to have your love. I know I can't love you back like that and now I know you don't expect that either, so at least we can be good friends?" He said looking at me with a small grin. "Sure. If that's okay to you" I replied looking at him. "More than just okay" he said with a bigger smile. Both of us faced the city view now. After a while of being in silence he said, "so shall we go inside now?" "Umm… I think I will be here for a bit more. But you should head back. You're probably missing her already" I chuckled. "W-what? Missing whom? What are you talking about?" He was shocked. "You know what exactly I am talking about, Hoseok" I cocked an eyebrow. "Ho-how do you know? I never told anyone! Am I that obvious?" He was beyond shocked now and I almost laughed at him on his face even when my heart was breaking. "No, you're rather subtle but I am a bit more observant than average." I said, smiling at him, "so when are you asking her out?" "Uh! I don't know Y/N. It's just that I don't think she sees me as anything more than her senior. She never showed any interest in me as a person. And what if she ends up thinking that I'm a creep to ask one of my most talented dancers out?" He replied with a sigh. "How do you know that she's not interested you know? You're much more subtle than you should have been, Hoseok. You need to show her your interest to understand her reaction." I advised him. "How do I do that?" He questioned. I knew he was one of the least experienced people in the dating field and he might need some help. I was ready to help him, even if that destroyed me completely. "Just talk to her more about her and not only about dance. Ask her if she had lunch or not. Tell her she's looking pretty. Try to stay close to her, leave lingering touches. Bring her juices and stuff you dancers eat. And during all these, measure her reaction. Try to understand if she's taking it all positively or not. If yes then it's a green light. If she's uncomfortable then it's a red one" I said. He was looking at me with wide eyes. And finally after processing my every word he opened his mouth, "woah, you made it sound so simple." I chuckled hearing his compliment. "It's simple, Hoseok. Just try. Don't lose the person you like so much" I said trying to keep my tears at bay. "Thanks, Y/N. Thanks a lot. Now that you know my secret you better expect a lot of shit from me. I will be disturbing you a lot. And not only because of the secret but also because I would love to talk to you. For the past few minutes whatever you said made me realize a lot of things. I would like to keep talking to you. As a friend." He looked at me and the look broke me even more, as if that was possible. I just smiled silently. "And oh. You should call me Hobi from now on. My friends call me that. See you later" with that he left the balcony, leaving me broken or maybe powdered. My tears forgot how to stop flowing once he was gone. I knew he could never be mine but the confirmation from the man himself was tough to take in. He already had someone else in his heart and I wasn't that person. It was too much. It was all too much to take.

--------------

It was both good and bad that Hoseok and I clicked right away, as friends obviously. Good because I was at least his friend. Bad because I had to listen to how much the man I loved liked Somi. He would come to my cubicle randomly and blubber how cute Somi had been looking that day or how jealous he had been because of Somi's dance partner. Being a contemporary dancer, she needed her partner for most of her acts and Hoseok would get jealous whenever the partner provided Somi with some extra hugs and pats here and there. Hoseok would come straight to me and would vent out (only if he didn't have anything else to do). Or he would text me to come to the rooftop and then vent the shit out about how much he hates that partner of his crush. I would just look at him with an undying heartache and with a wish that someday someone would be just as much jealous for me too. Yeah, I wished for 'someone' cause I knew it would never be Hoseok.

"Do you think I should confess today? Will it be too fast if I do?" Hoseok asked. Somi asked for his special supervision for an upcoming performance. And obviously Hoseok was going berserk and there are reasons why. 1. Somi asked for the said supervision after classes, which means most of the building would be vacant. 2. It was a solo performance so the partner would not be there. 3. It wasn't a contemporary dance routine rather freestyle, in which Hoseok specializes. All in all it was a good chance to win over the girl. Moreover, it is quite evident that Hoseok is not the only one in the feels. The shy and sly smiles that Somi gave Hoseok whenever he complimented her told the truth. Sometimes I cursed myself for being too observant because I could even sense the sexual tension between the two when all of us would casually be hanging out after work. It was good for both of them but not for my heart, which was being smashed with every glance they shared with each other. So after today there's a huge chance that I might be loving someone else's boyfriend in the near future. "Y/N! Where are you lost today?" Hoseok waved his hand in front of my eyes. "I uh, the sky looks beautiful today. So I was just…. Leave it!" I sighed and continued, "about confession right? Do whatever you feel at that moment Hobi. I mean you should leave it on your heart, if it tells you to confess right then and there then just go ahead and confess. There's nothing called being fast when you're already pining over her for some good months." He looked at me with stars in his eyes and I almost misunderstood the gaze for a moment. "What would I do without you Y/N? I would have been totally lost and the progress that I have made with Somi couldn't be found if it wasn't for you." He said. A sad chuckle left my lips, "with me or without me Hobi, you would be living just fine. You would have found someone else to help you out. I am nothing but a passerby in your life, making almost no difference. Rather ask yourself what would you be doing if Somi wasn't here? Just the thought hollows your heart doesn't it? She's important. Someday if I change jobs and never meet you again, I will just become a part of your fragmented memory and nothing else. But if tonight Somi accepts your confession, she will be someone you can spend the entire life with. So, don't need to give me much importance, it increases my expectations and I hate to expect from human beings." I looked him in the eye. I knew my tone and my words were bitter. The bitter feeling that engulfed my heart produced it all. I thought being his friend would be enough for me but I was just lying to myself. and his sweet words did nothing but cracked my broken self even more, so I had to be bitter for saving myself.

I didn't really think he would reply but he did and left me speechless. "You may think whatever you want Y/N but it's not important for me to agree. To me you're not just a passerby because you behold much more importance than most of the people in my life. And maybe I could still think of my life without Somi, since I don't know much about her yet neither have I shared any heartfelt conversation with her. But it is actually hard to imagine you not being in the picture. If it wasn't for you, I never knew I could be loved so ardently. If it wasn't for you I would not have someone to send a sincere 'you have worked hard, good night' text at the end of the day. Not everyone would order an iced americano for me when I stay late in the studio practicing. And even if I had someone to do all these for me, it wouldn't be selfless like yours." He took a pause and came closer to my body. Cupping my cheeks with his warm hands while looking deep into my eyes, he said, "You ARE important to me Y/N. Much more than you think you are." Completing the sentence he pulled me into a warm hug. I felt him snuggling into the crook of my neck. I hugged him back putting my chin on his shoulders, my happy tears threatened to fall but I held back the urge to cry in the embrace of my sunshine. The entire world seemed to be like a happy place. His embrace felt like my home, cozy and warm. I didn't want him to let go so I hugged him even tighter, for once forgetting the fact that he can't be mine.

For the remaining time I couldn't really keep myself to myself. My heart felt warmer than ever. Only I knew for how many times I had touched my cheeks to feel his touch there. A faint smile lingered there for the entire time.

It was almost the time of going home when Ms. Kang requested me to make a copy of some agreement documents. I had to cross two of the studios to get to the copy room and one of the studios was for freestyle practice. Just the thought of crossing the studio made shivers run down my spine and I knew why. The door was open and music was on, signaling Hobi was supervising Somi. I took small steps towards the copy room. When I reached there near the studio, I tried hard not to take a look inside but my rationality betrayed me. I ended up looking inside and my heart immediately dropped into my stomach. The sight of Hobi holding Somi by her sides and Somi rhythmically grinding her hips on Hoseok's crotch area, made my head spin. The pleasure was evident on both of their faces. My eyes got blurry with the effect and I almost ran towards the copy room cursing myself for peeking into the room. I made the copy with my trembling hands and turned my heels back to return. I promised myself I wouldn't peek anymore, but again like a fool I betrayed myself. This time I ended my seeing them devouring each other's lips as if they haven't had anything for years.

That night, I cried my eyes out. I have never encountered this much pain ever in my life before. It was unbearable for me but still I couldn't make myself promise to move on. I just cursed myself for taking his "you're important Y/N" in a way I should have not. I still was just a friend and she was now his girlfriend. In a room full of people she'd be the one he would look for. It would not be me. It would never be me.

--------------

A month passed and Jung Hoseok and Kim Somi are now the most happening talk of the academy. Every time they were seen together everyone would talk about how perfect they look together. And me being a fool smiled at them agreeing to them while wiping tears away when they left. Seeing them together killed me everyday but it all seemed fine since Hoseok was happy. He often talked to me about how lovely Somi is, or about how big her smile was when he got her her favorite flower or how she intertwined her hand with Hoseok's and gave him kisses in front of that partner of hers. I consoled myself by telling myself that at least Hoseok is happy. That's all that matters. And I still was that friend of his, with whom he loved to have conversations, that should be enough for someone like me. Someone who was introverted, who didn't know how to dance well, who didn't know how to put makeup on her face, who was pretty indeed but not a doll like Somi, shouldn't not expect Jung Hoseok's heart. He was out of my league from the beginning.

"Now please be serious Y/N and tell me where I should take her for the date?" Hoseok said. I was busy making fun of his t-shirt which he decorated himself with his million dollar painting skills. I controlled my laughter and said, "trust me Hobi, about this one thing. I have no idea." He dropped his head at my response, "but! Okay then at least tell me as a girl where do you prefer going on a date?" He asked. I smiled a little and leaned on the headrest of the couch placed in the conference room of the building. "Me? I would love to visit the beach during the night time, it's even better if it's past midnight. I would love to take a beautiful walk barefoot through the seashore intertwining my fingers with yours… I mean with my date's. I know I sound like a romantic fool but I hate expensive restaurants. Those seem to be too superficial to me. So it's better if my date doesn't show up wearing an expensive suit expecting me to wear a dress worth millions only to eat steak at a boring restaurant. I would love to wear my oversized hoodies while he is clad into his comfort attire and he would back hug me during a chilled night watching the sea." I said it all imagining him and he probably imagined it all with Somi's face. I turned my face to see that he was already looking at me with an unreadable expression, "you know, you're different?" He said. "Yeah. I get to hear that a lot." I replied and he gave me that sunshine smile of his. "Whatever, it's better if you ask your girlfriend where she wants to go. I think it's better than asking every single person in the academy." I said. "Yeah, I guess so. But I only asked you tho." He replied. I only smirked and got up from the couch to head back to work with a heavy heart.

--------------

Day by day I realized how wrong I was when I thought being just friends with Hoseok would be fine by me. Because if it really was fine, I would not have to escape from the ongoing karaoke party again after finding them locking lips with each other even in a room full of people. The sight made me sick and I needed a dash of fresh air to regain my composure. The sky was cloudy and it was about to start raining. But I couldn't care less. I wanted to get drenched. I felt like I needed to wash it all away from me. So I didn't move an inch when the rain started pouring. I stood there on the rooftop feeling every single drop pricking on my skin. I liked the feeling more than I thought I would. It was refreshing. I forgot that I was wearing a white shirt and I had to get home. I forgot that my skin would be on view through the wet material of my shirt. I forgot all the rational thoughts and enjoyed the rain until a firm grip on my arm pulled me under the narrow shade of the stairway. The dim light of the shade made it clear that it was none but the embodiment of my love and pain, Jung Hoseok. I was pressed against the wall and he was towering over me. "Have you lost it?" He said in a low voice looking at my drenched face, "You're totally drenched". His eyes traveled down my body where my wet shirt was clinging to my skin. My gray bra was prominent leaving my cleavage at quite a sight through the material of my white shirt. I saw him gulping, as his eyes got stuck on my chest. He visibly shook his head and looked up into my eyes but only for a brief moment before his eyes dropped on my lips. He licked his lips while staring at mine. And I swear I saw him starting to lean down. I cleared my throat, gaining his attention and he backed away immediately from me. I walked away to the washroom leaving him there.

That night I was proud of myself, firstly for having some kind of power over Hoseok that he almost cheated on Somi. Secondly for not taking any irrational step being blinded by lust and love. No matter how much I loved him, he was still someone else's boyfriend. On another note, I decided to move on from him for once for better.

a/n: the next part will be Hoseok's pov so his thoughts his feelings will be explained. It will be better I promise. 💜

Next Chapter

Taglist:

@phenomenalgirl9 @scentedsope @teeheelittlebitch @betysotelo18 @jnghs @hobiewaifu @addictedtohobi @dreamsarenicee @definetlythinkimanalien @dreamer95 @cxbts

183 notes · View notes

bandedbulbussnarfblat · 2 years ago

Text

Video Killed the Radio Star chp 2

Here it is on ao3 or read it below

Armand slips into the bedroom to find Louis sprawled over the bed. He’s reading The Ethical Slut and seems completely absorbed in it. Armand crosses the space to the bed and climbs up to swing a leg over Louis’ lap. Louis glances over top of the book. “Something you want?”

He’s smiling, so Armand thinks he probably has an idea what he wants.

Armand plucks the book from his hand and skims the pages. “Fighting is the ultimate act of intimacy,” he reads aloud. Considering the fights he’s had with Daniel, Armand can understand the train of thought. There’s something violently intimate about a person knowing precisely what to say to destroy you.

“It makes sense in context,” Louis says and rests his hands on Armand’s waist. Armand carefully marks Louis’ place and sets the book on the nightstand. He dips down and begins sucking kisses along the edge of Louis’ jaw. Louis hums contentedly and threads fingers through Armand’s hair. “What’s got you all worked up?”

Armand nips behind his ear, then soothes over it with his tongue. “I was watching our old videos to decide which one to send Daniel.”

“You mean our sex tapes.” Armand had gone through a phase where he liked recording himself. Louis had obliged him. They have actual physical tapes from the 70s somewhere, though Armand has digitized his favorites.

“Mm,” Armand says, and gets distracted for a minute by Louis’ neck. It’s a nice neck. He mouths kisses over it and just lets his fangs scrape along the flesh. “I chose the one we made for Daniel for his birthday one year. Do you remember?”

He had ate Louis out until he came, then fucked him until he was hard again, then sucked him off. He’d told Daniel if he could watch the whole thing without touching himself, he’d do the same to him.

Louis hands slide under his shirt and along his sides and his head tilts back invitingly. “Why don’t you remind me?”

Daniel doesn’t download the attachment in the email. He doesn’t trust it.

“...you can stay here indefinitely until you finish the story.”

He glances over at Lestat who’s sitting across from him. He’s immaculately dressed and in person Daniel can admit he has a sort of magnetism that could draw someone in. He still doesn’t like him much though. “Yeah, no.”

He’s not staying in the same house as Armand any longer than he has to.

“Louis likes having you here,” Lestat says. Daniel can’t tell what he’s thinking.

“He needs enrichment in his enclosure,” Daniel says dryly. The penthouse here feels a lot like Night Island. A gilded cage. It has everything Louis could want, everything he could need. Why would he ever have to leave? Armand’s there to take care of everything.

It feels sickeningly familiar.

These vampires keep mistaking codependency for love. Well, Daniel wants no part in it.

“He needs an interior designer,” Lestat says, then turns a blinding smile towards Daniel. “Surely this is not how the imp decorated with you?”

It isn’t exactly a smooth segue into prodding into his relationship with Armand.

“He had a new style for every apartment,” Daniel says, waving a hand around. “Minimalism is probably his latest thing.”

Lestat casts his eyes around the living room with distaste. “You can help him redecorate when I take Louis from this place.”

There it is.

“You think my being with Armand would leave Louis open for you,” Daniel says. “You should ask Louis about us. I won’t be the reason he leaves.”

Lestat pulls a face. “Yes, yes, you were their pet.”

“I wasn’t anyone’s pet!”

Lestat slides to the edge of the seat and meets Daniel’s glare with twinkling eyes. His hand comes up to rest his fingers on the outside of Daniel’s knee, stroking ever so gently. “But what a fine pet you’d make, Daniel. Louis wants to keep you, you know.”

Daniel’s about to say something scathing when Lestat’s voice enters his mind “Would you like to make Armand very angry?”

“Almost always.”

“Then play along, pet.”

Then a cool hand is cupping his face and tilting his head just so and Lestat is kissing him.

#iwtv fic #amand #daniel molloy #armand/daniel #daniel/armand

3 notes · View notes

dearmrsawyer · 3 years ago

Text

I have lived through the most wonderful exquisitely joyful weekend and got to see Louis twice at long last!!! I didn't want to express my excitement in the lead up because i was so petrified that i would catch covid like a week before and be unable to go, but god really had his hand on me and delivered me from 2 VERY close calls in the 2 weeks leading up to the shows lol. 2 weekends prior my brother's girlfriend caught covid the day he was with her, but the infection was obviously so fresh that she didn't transfer it to him. and then the following Wednesday our boss at work sent an email saying she was happy for us to join meetings virtually since cases were on the rise, and it was just in time because on Thursday we had a staff meeting, and on Saturday someone who was in the meeting room tested positive LIKE. god was really like if this girl does not get to go to these concerts she is going to unravel like a ball of frayed yarn lol

but ANYWAY it was the most amazing, amazing weekend, both nights were so fulfilling and just.. i felt pure happiness. louis was so BRIGHT and i got to share a room with him and lots of other very excited people, i just had the best best time. highlights from memory:

i've said before that i think it was so galaxy brain of him to open the show with 'we made it', especially in the context of all the rescheduling, and i was so excited to finally get to scream it out when he came on stage and the moment lived up to it!! i couldn't even hear louis for the first few lines of the song because the crowd was singing SO loud lol, it felt like a moment of such release for everyone there, it was really cool

on night 1 he walked out in that bright yellow shirt like a BEACON!! i always call him my sunshine and he is!! he was literally the louis that lives in my mind right there on stage. and on night 2 it was a very classic louis look in one of his 4000 burberry shirts lol, a comforting and familiar presence <3

can't express... just cannot express how happy i was during through the dark, i felt like it was visibly radiating out of me. its one of my favourite songs ever and my fav 1d song. it captures a specifically positive energy that i am so drawn to, and that i've coincidentally always associated with louis. i can't even explain how the room felt during that song, it was joy! i took a moment on night one to capture a snippet of it for myself to hold onto forever. the absolute respect louis has for me specifically to tour this song and let ME watch HIM sing it, that song both nights was genuinely one of the highlights of my entire life

don't let it break your heart was another one of the standout songs for me, one of my favourite louis songs!! maybe for me the one that i feel most represents louis, and i felt like it was a favourite for a lot of other people there as well, which took me by surprise! but i love that song soo much and it was so good live :)

wow seeing his smile in person...... sunshine

his stage presence!! he's become such a playful presence on stage, its so him, he is so interactive while he's singing. he doesn't do a lot of chatting between songs and i realised he likes to do the bulk of his playing as he sings lol. he's been like that all tour but i didn't realise it until my shows, i wonder if that's a comfort he built during 1d that he's deliberately exercised as a solo artist and made a key part of his performance

coacoa was soooo amazing live, and he sang changes which i LOVE. got lt2 is going to be so good

getting to point at louis with 5000 other people and shout "you were my because" 10/10 experience could not have enjoyed that more if i tried

oh the snuts were really good! i hadn't investigated them at all and wanted to hear them for the first time live (i feel like that's such a great way to be introduced to music) and their set was literally just jam after jam, i'm excited to dig into their music properly

i didn't even realise until i was on the way to the show on night 2 that it was the 1d anniversary! the crowd sang happy bday to 1d during the break before the encore 😂 honestly singing the 1d songs on night 2 felt so celebratory, what a cool experience to get to sing them with louis on such an important day

omg also on night 2 i was toward the side of the pit and saw little bentley with his sign ready for the show 😭 pre show our whole side of the crowd was cheering every time he lifted his sign, i found a short video here of it, we did this for like 30 minutes dskjlgkdfl it was v cute. i didn't even know they were from australia!

i completely lost my voice by the end of night 1 and couldn't speak the whole way home rofl, thankfully it came back the next morning ready for night 2. ugh it was just!!!!!! 🎇🎇🎇 this year has been.. quite horrible and this was so refilling. I have a week off work now because i was originally going to go to the Melbourne shows, but decided it was best not to take the extra risk, so instead this week is all mine to reminisce.

#it wasn't the perfect weekend because i was supposed to share it with silv #a bit crushed it couldn't work out!!!#this also means i have still met 0 tumblr friends :/#silv is still going to get her louis dose tho thankfully! we'll have to share niall instead when he eventually comes #now just need to wait and see if the larries gave me covid 😂#i have been a bit stressed the last couple of months about the chances of catching covid at the shows #this was briefly overridden by my fear of catching covid before the shows and not being able to go LOL #but once i was there i was just so happy there wasn't even room in me to be worried #im a fairy one feeling at a time #i also felt like i had done everything i could to protect myself #flu + booster shots in june #and i wore 2 masks and a filter #so i did all i could \o/

10 notes · View notes

fmbishop · 5 years ago

Text

* I'VE GOT MY VEINS ALL TANGLED CLOSE .

* ╰ chicago’s very own 𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐣𝐚𝐡 𝐛𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐩 has been spotted on madison avenue driving a 1960 vintage jeep bronco , welcome ! your resemblance to 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒚𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝒅𝒐𝒍𝒂𝒏 is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty - first birthday bash . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re 𝒄𝒉𝒖𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒉 , but being 𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒇𝒂𝒔𝒕 might help you . i think being a taurus explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be 𝒑𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒅 𝒔𝒌𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒃𝒐𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒈𝒓𝒊𝒑 𝒕𝒂𝒑𝒆 , 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝒄𝒊𝒓𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒆𝒚𝒆𝒔 , & 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒂𝒍𝒎𝒔 𝒓𝒖𝒃𝒃𝒆𝒅 𝒓𝒂𝒘 . ( i cut ties with my best friend and collaborator because i was secretly in love with her , but our publicist had her date my brother instead . ) & ( cis male + he / him ) + ( ruby , 18+ , she / her , pst )

 𝒊 . 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒔 .

𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆 : elijah alexander bishop 𝒏𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔 : eli , e . from his loved ones , he recieves variations on ellie , ugly ass mustache head , tony hawk , and zumiez employee of the month . 𝒂𝒈𝒆 : twenny - won 𝒛𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒄 : taurus 𝒐𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 : professional skateboarder and youngest x games gold medalist in history , brand ambassador for several skate fashion brands , established youtube vlogger , and aspiring filmmaker . 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒕𝒚 / 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒔 : cis male / he him his 𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 : heterosexual , heteroromantic 𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 : 5’11 𝒍𝒂𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒔 : the black sheep , the despondent , the fallen angel , the isolato , the intangible concept , the dirtbag , the doryphore 𝒌𝒆𝒚 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒔 : - churlish , emotionally reserved , hesitant , resentful , self - sabotaging + steadfast , benevolent , chivalrous , reliable , down to earth 𝒉𝒐𝒈𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆 : hufflepuff 𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒔 : that’s on me - mac miller / obstacle 1 - interpol / just my luck - marc e bassy & blackbear / EARFQUAKE - tyler the creator / superfast jellyfish - gorillaz / here comes a feeling - louis the child / horseshoes and handgrenades - green day / boys don’t cry - the cure / SUGAR - brockhampton / slow dancing in the dark - joji / come back to earth - mac miller / swing , swing - the all american rejects

𝒊𝒊 . 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚 .

harold and lillian bishop welcome the heirs to the bishop throne on an early may morning . ceo of the multi-billion dollar bishop industries construction empire , and partner of the bishop & franklin international law firm respectively , the boys enter into the shadow of a last name prepared to build onto its own legacy . eli comes into the light moments after his brother , a hand firmly grasped onto the ankle of his twin , victorious to emerge into the world first . parallel to the biblical brothers jacob and esau , his nurse notes , but his parents pay no mind . on the whim of a meaningless sequence , the elder twin is delegated as the champion of the bishop legacy , to bear the weight of their family empire and its subsequent legacy on his shoulders with pride .

elijah , on the heel of his brother , isaiah , by a mere fraction of a second , bears the weight of his second-coming due to such a christening for the rest of his upbringing .

the black sheep is perhaps too delicate of a phrasing to explain the conflict stirring daily in the bishop household , a family of perfection — and elijah , the foil to them all , a failure by definition , perhaps crafted simply to emphasize the feats of his twin brother . he’s smaller , scrawnier , slower to pick up school work and requiring relentless tutoring and support throughout his elementary school years . sensitive and introverted , he spends the first decade of his life cowering behind isaiah as a shield , receiving constant critiques of not enough , not good enough , not close enough to —

he tries not to focus on his shortcomings , as plentiful as his parents may convince him that there may be . any expression other than a stoic compliance is seen as contumacious , swiftly corrected with a ‘ i wish you would be more like your brother . ’ eli withers into himself shortly after his 12th birthday , the onset of puberty and a discovery for a natural athletic inclination giving him some semblance of musculature , his jaw sharpening and gaze taking a similar harshness . his body becomes a fortress , the only protection he can implement as his brother begins to split from him , taking on more responsibility as the twins are brought increasingly into the spotlight of their family name and fortune .

each moment harboring a critique only stokes resentment behind each clenched jaw and tight lipped smile eli has to fake . he knows its all for show , his brother is the only true heir written into their legacy regardless of what path he chooses to take . bearing the weight of a whole family tree of disappointment , eli takes on odd hobbies and begins to compose bits and pieces of himself as the him he wants to be , dismantling the illusion composed by expectations to mirror his infallible brother . by 13 , his secretive hobby becomes an increasingly viable career in skateboarding , by 17 , he’s hired his own agent and moves out on his own to escape the increasing burdens of being the bishop legacy disappointment . his parents all but excommunicate him , and he spends spans of month-long silences between them with only his brother to bridge such gaps . eli is gnarled and hidden away from the glitz and glamour he had grown so comfortable with , navigating his shattered self-image and desire to amount to something entirely on his own — but at the very least , he’s free .

it’s a tabloid’s dream , the black sheep of the bishop family , reuniting with his herd for their move to new york . eli is resentful and bitter at the idea of uprooting himself , but it’s his brother’s impassioned pleas of a reunion that soften eli’s resolve and cause the young skateboarding sensation to follow the rest of his distant family to new york . his brother assures him with honeyed promises of a family reunited , a change of heart of their parents’ callousness , a desire to see the bishops as one . their father’s upcoming retirement and a supposed reflection on the cruelty imposed on his brother are all cited as reasons why eli should just come with them . and eli , hardened and bitter to all but the implorations of his brother ( and perhaps a gnawing desire for some sort of familial validation after a lifetime of being dubbed the disappointment , ) begrudgingly follows through .

their parents do not .

it awakens a particular emotion within eli to see his parents for the first time in nearly 2 years and be received with the same coldness he had been seen off with at their last meeting . backhanded compliments follow fronthanded insults and it ends with eli and his father in a screaming match , fingers jabbed dangerously into chests and tempers on full blare . the betrayal comes not from a set of parents who didn’t want him — eli knew it was entirely too good to be true to be taken as the prodigal son . the betrayal , he laments , is in the falsities told by his brother , the one person who had spent so long protecting him and had now allowed him to walk without guard into the lion’s den . eli knows his brother had nothing but the best of intentions and keeps him as the sole bishop contact : this is the last he talks to his parents after years of torment .

they stay in new york together and fill their time with work and the occasional youtube video at the behest of their management , random vlogs that surprisingly take off . the bishop twins become something of an internet sensation �� isaiah a charming and composed law student , eli a brooding and unkempt skater boy , with a dynamic that viewers are quick to fall in love with . they turn out content on a regular basis , building a fanbase through their vlogs that begs for collaborations and ‘ linking up . ‘ they go through the motions of collabs until one particular set of youtubers have a chemistry with the twins that their fans eat up . quickly hired to the same management team , the bishops create a mini vlog squad with their friends , a dynamic that finds eli more emotionally invested than he’d care to admit . but forever the self - saboteur , he keeps himself from admitting these feelings to their collaborator , repressing them until an email from their publicist reveals plans to have her date isaiah for the sake of views .

eli , despite having kept his feelings from practically everyone in his life , takes the move personally and cuts off all work with their collaborator , the ensuing drama being enough to keep his publicist happy despite whatever happens between her and his brother . their group goes back to being a duo , a secret for eli to keep perhaps to his grave , and he pushes to forge on with creating a name for himself out of the shadow of his family .

( um for context slash anyone who knew version one of eli we’re gonna say he got sick of the celeb world and went backpacking through southern asia w no phone n no outside contacts , just recently returned to ny after the past 2 months of isolation ! )

𝒊𝒊𝒊 . 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

i’m so excited to bring eli back . … i love wealthy sm lemme give y’all a few bullets for the rundown of the uglie mean sk8r boi that u should all say ‘ see u l8r boi ‘

as the bio implies , he had a really tough upbringing in the shadow of his perfect brother . a lot of his parents’ cruelty resulted in the personality he has now .

eli is most known for his resentment of wealth and fame . in the celeb world , he’s always known as the one who’s just a normal guy . super down to earth and constantly critiquing ppl who let the fame get to their head

in a way , he gets this weird sense of superiority that’s super hypocritical ? like he thinks he’s better than the rich ppl bc he doesn’t act boujie .. . . . but ? he’s rich too ? just bc ur chinos r ripped doesnt make u better than anyone else u dumb bitch

super , and i cannot emphasize this enough , SUPER emotionally constipated . he acts like he’s above it all to serve as his defense mechanism bc on the real he’s terrified of being rejected by people the way his own parents rejected him . his solution ? if u act like u don’t give a shit , nobody can hurt u .

if he’s not angry ranting , he’s honestly p stoic . nobody knows what he’s thinkin or feelin which is how he likes it . it gets real annoying when he keeps playing the cool disconnected guy n ur like ‘ what do u want for lunch ‘ n he’s like ‘ i dont give a fuck ‘ n ur like ‘ we know dumbass edgelord we still gotta EAT tho ‘

on that ranting note , he’s usually pretty reserved and calm during things like interviews or talking to fans . when he’s in touchier situations , his defense mechanism is to switch to his hairpin trigger hostility .

ig he feels like he has something to prove by being the tough guy so he just ? gets mad super easily instead of processing his feelings like a normal person ? he detaches himself from his emotions bc he has a really fucked sense of self - worth and has an eternal belief he’s not worthy of happiness so he’ll sabotage himself to no end

shockingly sensitive and will hold onto his pain as if to fuel him . he takes disloyalty personally and will often hold onto abandonment or slights that happened years ago because they genuinely affected him , even if he didn’t show so at the time .

in terms of the celeb life : he’s p low key . isn’t much of a partier bc he has social anxiety sdfsd but he’s comfy sipping a beer on the patio as long as everyone else stays inside lmao . he’s cool w hookups but isn’t actively sleeping around ? like he could prob live like a fuckboy but rlly surprises u when he doesn’t do the fuckboy thing .. … . it’s the sensitive boy in him or somethin idk.. . .. mayb he just can’t care enough .. .. it’s the apathy … .

when he’s not seeing red , he’s rational man meant to BUST everyone’s stupidity . usually the only mfer w common sense in the squad to plan ahead n shit but if someone pushes his homies ? eli comes out SWINGING n then avoids all the tabloids about him sloppy fighting in the club like he’s mariah carey n can’t read or somethin

cannot flirt for the life of him , says dumb shit like ‘ u smell nice ‘ and hopes his muscles do all the talking lmao fuckin BEEFCAKE

on the real , when he’s calm n collected he can be surprisingly sweet and this is when the down to earth comes in . doesn’t get attached to many but to the few he does , he defends to the end and is the type to sacrifice whatever it is to protect them . this mans LOVES his friends and ppl are surprised to see how kind he can b bc he’s usually masking his kindness with his brutishness lmao .

he’s also ? surprisingly funny ? we’ll see abt that tho bc most of his shit is deadpan

most of the time : just fuckin . mean as hell sdfsdf

anarchist mfer ! he said FUCK the system , it’s a big skate energy and he tries to be as creative and undefined as possible . follows random whims as he learns to be less self conscious bc now he’s his own brand and doesn’t have to always think about ‘ whats best for the family ’ and all that bs ! he’s rlly passionate abt skate culture and originality and is a really big outspoken feminist / social activist bc what’s more punk than dismantling the patriarchy and other oppressive power structures ?

on that note . lowkey . a simp KWHRJWE he acts hard and won’t let any man come after him but he’s afraid 2 be mean to girls n lets most of his female friends bully him while he does the office stare in2 the camera .

i always stick random blurbs downhere but the mans is vegan , cares more about his car than anything , spends most of his time in his ratty skate clothes that barely get washed bc they ‘ hold the energy better ’ ( nastie ) , if it aint sk8 shoes its socks w sandals n he doesn’t get whats wrong w that , he’s a hufflepuff n a ISTJ-T myers briggs ( The Logistician ) , n tbh he really just appreciates the little things in life ? thats eli my lil meat head .

#wealthyhq:intro #as always like and i'll come 2 u 4 plots ! 💖🥰#back at it again w the clownery 🤡#all old members : we can def keep old plots if wanted or revamp ! lmk ! 🥰

12 notes · View notes

empty-altars · 6 years ago

Note

If you have the time/energy/motivation, could you elaborate on ur view of the difference of 1D vs other boy bands specially in context of social media developments? I’m very interested in that and it sounds like u have some very interesting thoughts/theories on that. And maybe about how the boys relationships with sm changed?

Oh man, okay. So first you have to remember in the heyday of BSB/NSYNC we really didnt have sm to speak of. There were fansites through geocities (omggg there was midi music that auto played and they were SO UGLY lmao) and message boards and we shared fic through *checks notes* Yahoo groups. Yes. We shared fic through email. (I was probs too young to be reading or writing that content but uh no one was checking IDs and I was an accomplished liar by this point lol)

Any information about the group was gained through press releases and scheduled interviews and teen magazines like Tiger Beat and Bop. It was very, very curated. Their squeaky clean reputations were easy to control. Also their personal relationships. The only ones who had visible relationships were Justin (promoship with Britney), Lance (bearding with Danielle Fishel) and AJ (promoship with the lead singer of some girlband they tried to push from the same label whose name escapes me at the moment).

Sound familiar? What they didn't have was visible relationships with regular girls. Joey was in a longterm relationship with a noncelebrity and had a baby with her (and later married her after the band announced "hiatus") and NO ONE KNEW SHE EXISTED. Remaining visibly single to fans was important.

Sorry, that's beside the point lol. But I keep pointing it out because it's WEIRD. And raises valid questions about why. (I mean, we KNOW why, but it's something that gets ignored a lot)

So. Then you have 1D. And Twitter was coming into it's own by that point and you had a platform that reached a whole bunch of fans at once and they could share their experiences/excitement immediately with a whole bunch of people and create this huge community of fans. And the boys could speak to fandom directly! And make cute funny videos! And answer questions! And basically fan engagement became this whole other level, making fans feel like they KNEW these guys in a way that had never really been done before. It was a total game changer for fandom.

Obviously, smm eventually stepped in and started controlling the flow of information and fan engagement, but in the beginning before it got massive, it wasn't controlled. And we know that their accounts later got used to push official narratives (I have a theory that the reason Liam typed like he did back then was a small rebellion to make it harder for a smm to impersonate him) and they did not enjoy that but I also think they didn't enjoy how invasive it was at times too. Pretending to be open and available at all times while also toeing the party line and not revealing too much has to be exhausting.

So now we get different relationships with sm. Harry's is very carefully curated, Niall's is used only to promote things (while still engaging fans on a one to one basis), Louis' is very much about showing that he and his fans are a team and in this together, Liam has pulled back a LOT on fan engagement in the last year (I kinda wonder if that's because he only gets asked abt his album and bear and doesn't want to answer those questions) but still appears to let fans see behind the scenes (in official videos which is kind of unique and I dont hate it - Liam has always been very good at seeming like he's giving an all access pass without revealing much of anything that he doesn't want revealed) and Zayn basically left everything to a smm until he didn't have one anymore. I don't think he likes sm very much and with the abuse that's been heaped on him from it, I don't blame him one bit.

I don't know that any of this MEANS anything, but I find it interesting how each of them appears to have found a way to cope with sm that's distinctly unique to them.

(and as always, these are just my opinions/observations and ymmv)

19 notes · View notes

douchebagbrainwaves · 5 years ago

Text

WHY I'M SMARTER THAN PROBABILITY

The remarkable thing about this project was that he wanted his own computer. All programmers know it's good to write readable code. Imagine walking around for years with five pound ankle weights, then suddenly having them removed. I told the audience that this happened every year, so if they saw a startup they liked, they should make them an offer. What made the Dutch rich in 1600 was the discovery of shipbuilding and navigation techniques that enabled them to dominate the seas of the Far East. The place to look is where the spread of smallness began: in the world of startups. Universities seem the place to attack them. 94 you hold is worth. It's hard to distinguish spending too much from raising too little.

There is a danger in designing a language based on one's own experience of programming. And the first planes, and the right mood. Most people overestimate its role, but it has been experimentally verified, in the unlikely absence of any other evidence, have a 99. PB made a point in a talk once that I now mention to every startup we fund: that it's better, but that it breaks the time on either side in half. 99. Certainly not the authors. No energy is wasted on defense. Socially, a company looks much like college, but the most I've ever been able to manage is about 18, and I hope to fix the world behind the statistics, we have to do more than get good grades. It's not a deal till the money's in the bank so far. On the other hand, enter is a genuine miss. After standing there gaping for a few seconds I realized this was kind of a trick question.

You just can't expend any attention on it so you can get away with zero self-discipline. Would a basketball team trade one of their aims. This is not too high a price for big companies, the interminable meetings, the water-cooler conversations, the clueless middle managers, and athletes all live with the sword hanging over their heads; the moment they say no. To do good work, what you need to get the most done. This term was invented after Tom Bradley, the black mayor of Los Angeles, lost an election for governor of California despite a comfortable lead in the polls. So it's winner take all. Whereas if you're writing code to make it a much more common one. Hardware does well on crowdfunding sites. It seems like it should be straightforward. And unless you're extremely organized, a house full of stuff. It can take years to zero in on a productive question, because it implies you're supposed to have. Historically metals have been the most common.

They have so far, at least in the hands of good programmers, how would you do it? You haven't made anyone else poorer. Intelligent design is a legitimate scientific theory. A great programmer, on a roll, could create a situation indistinguishable from you being that manufacturer, at least for a handful of other US cities, but they're still an anomaly in most of the time, writing about economic inequality combines all three. Startup is a pole, not a point, and I get an uneasy feeling when I look at my bookshelves. If someone in my neighborhood heard that I was looking for an old friend especially if he is a hacker to suddenly send you an email talking about sex, but someone sending you mail for the first time in history they're no longer getting the best people. The reason this got stale in middle school and high school kids and adults, I'd have said it was that adults had to earn a living. One Canadian startup we funded spent about 6 months working on moving to the US. A good metaphor here. If you start out with some initial plan and modify it as necessary to keep hitting, say, Altria is not. Rewriting a program often yields a cleaner design. I see it there on the page and quickly move on to the next step is.

Maybe mostly in one hub, and it will be a good thing: if your society has no variation in productivity is far from the only source of economic inequality, but because you want the kind of determination it takes to talk to investors, you have to move bits over a network, by all means use TCP/IP. If people were scanned all the time, writing about economic inequality is the inevitable fate of countries that don't choose something worse. Joel Spolsky recently spoke at Y Combinator said, Once you take several million dollars of my money, the best defense is a good idea to spend some time thinking about that future. And if, as nearly everyone who knows agrees, startups are an all-or-nothing game. If you start from the other end, and offer programmers more parallelizable Lego blocks to build programs out of the way to get rich, how would you do it right, you only have to interrupt someone a couple times a day before they're unable to work on a Java project. Louis Brandeis said We may have democracy, or we may have wealth concentrated in the hands of good programmers, how would you do it? For example, suppose Y Combinator offers to fund you if you stay where you are, and this consumes less energy. Together these three phases produce an S-curve. Obviously there is a fixed pie. Assuming they could solve the problem by partitioning the company.

It's equivalent to asking how to make money. They all knew their work like a piano player knows the keys. They gradually congeal in your head. Whatever you build, make it fast. They lived in houses full of servants, wore elaborately uncomfortable clothes, and travelled about in carriages drawn by teams of horses which themselves required their own houses and servants. Money is a side effect of specialization. 99. It's never just a straight trade of money for them, and this is one of the things that get discovered this way incidentalomas, and they have to decide quickly because you're running out of room. They just represent a point at the far end of the middle class. Empirically, the way they wait. I was trying to make money as a freelance programmer. Nearly all failure funnels through that.

But the problem the patent pledge requires no change in behavior. But this year there may have been. But that in turn makes investors nervous they're about to invest right up till the moment they say no. And then there is the question of what probability to assign to words that occur more than five times in total actually, because of the doubling, occurring three times in nonspam mail would be enough. But this meant a Google was now setting Microsoft's agenda, and b their growth potential makes it easy to reload into your head. The most ambitious is to try to identify a precise point in the future, just that you think may be due to a crime well enough executed that it had been forgotten. Likewise, it doesn't tell you what we all wish someone had told us.

Now that's what I call a startup idea. Why else would this idea occur in this odd context? One piece of evidence is what happened to countries that tried to return to the old model, like the foundation of a house. Y Combinator are from young founders making things they think other people will want. Flying a glider is a good one if it makes sense. Optimizing code means taking an existing program and changing it to use less of something, usually time or memory. Two things keep the speed of the boat. Society as a whole started to get richer very rapidly. The solution societies find, as they get more specialized, is to find good books. When watches had mechanical movements, expensive watches kept better time. For example, in my current database, the word offers has a probability of.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #piano #code #player #idea #step #Tom #hand #Los #crime

1 note · View note

bountyofbeads · 6 years ago

Text

Live: Mueller grilled on obstruction, ‘fishing’ without charging Trump

https://wapo.st/2Z4ThrU

Live: Mueller grilled on obstruction, ‘fishing’ without charging Trump (Updates Thus Far Part 1)

By Washington Post Staff | Published July 24 at 10:41 AM ET | Washington Post | Posted July 24, 2019 10:52 PM ET

This live story is being reported by Matt Zapotosky, Karoun Demirjian, Rachael Bade, Rosalind S. Helderman, Tom Hamburger, Shane Harris, Devlin Barrett, John Wagner and Rachel Weiner.

Former special counsel Robert S. Mueller III is testifying publicly before two separate congressional panels Wednesday and for the first time is addressing questions about his investigation of President Trump and Russian interference in the 2016 election.

The first hearing, before the House Judiciary Committee chaired by Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.), began just after

8:30 a.m., and the second, before the House Intelligence Committee, will begin at noon.

Democratic lawmakers are digging into the episodes Mueller outlined in his 448-page report of potential obstruction of justice by Trump. Mueller has said that he preferred not to say more about his work in public and — if made to do so — that he would not speak beyond what was detailed in his report.

Republicans, meanwhile, are likely to grill Mueller on what they view as impropriety in his investigation, focusing intensely on anti-Trump text messages exchanged by an FBI agent and an FBI lawyer who worked on the case.

Follow our live coverage here throughout the day.

10:30 a.m.: “I’m just going to leave it as it appears in the report”

Back from a break, Rep. Cedric L. Richmond (D-La.) tried to press Mueller on an episode in his report alleging that Trump had directed former White House Counsel Donald McGahn to have the special counsel fired, and then lie about it.

As he has throughout the hearing, Mueller merely confirmed that the lines that Richmond read were accurate.

“Correct,” he said repeatedly, as Richmond described the episode. “Generally true.”

Richmond tried to convince Mueller to elaborate, asking the open-ended question, “Can you explain what you meant there?” But Mueller balked.

“I’m just going to leave it as it appears in the report,” he said.

10:20 a.m.: Pence aides back Trump’s account of 2017 meeting with Mueller

Aides to Vice President Pence confirmed Trump’s account earlier Wednesday that Pence was present during a 2017 meeting in which Trump says Mueller sought to return to the job of FBI director.

Alyssa Farah, a spokeswoman for Pence, confirmed in an email that Pence was present for the meeting in the Oval Office “when Robert Mueller interviewed for the job of FBI Director in May of 2017.”

During his testimony Wednesday, Mueller confirmed that he met with Trump about the position of FBI director but “not as a candidate.”

Former White House chief strategist Stephen K. Bannon told investigators that the purpose of the meeting was not a job interview but to have Mueller “offer a perspective on the institution of the FBI,” according to the special counsel’s report.

Trump has previously cited the meeting as evidence for his contention that Mueller had conflicts of interest.

During a morning tweet, Trump suggested that Pence could back him up if Mueller did not tell the truth about the meeting

10:15 a.m.: The mysterious case of Joseph Mifsud

President Trump’s ally Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) grilled Mueller Wednesday about Joseph Mifsud, the Maltese professor who told former Trump campaign aide George Papadopoulos that the Russians had dirt on Hillary Clinton — but lied to federal investigators and was never charged.

Mifsud’s information — which Papadopoulos later related to Australia’s then-ambassador to the United Kingdom, who alerted the FBI — prompted the entire investigation that formed the foundation for Mueller’s probe. Republicans have questioned those origins — but Jordan and others in the GOP have also specifically questioned whether Mifsud was a potential Western intelligence asset, set up to trick Papadopoulos into passing on information that would prompt the probe of Trump’s Russia ties.

The Mifsud theory has failed to catch on outside the Republican base, but Jordan focused his questions for Mueller on one simple aspect of it: Why, if the special counsel had charged so many of Trump’s associates for lying to the FBI, had he never brought charges against Mifsud, who lied repeatedly to federal agents and whose words launched the entire Russia probe?

“You can charge all kinds of people around the president with false statements … but the guy who puts this whole story in motion, you can’t charge him,” Jordan challenged Mueller.

“I’m not sure I agree with your characterizations,” retorted Mueller, who also said it was “obvious we can’t get into charging decisions” during the public hearing.

10:10 a.m.: Mueller continues one- or two-word responses to confirm obstruction episodes

Democrats — appearing to realize that Mueller would not elaborate on his report — continued to read key episodes of the 448-page documents and ask him to confirm the accounts with simple “yes” and “no” answers.

Rep. Karen Bass (D-Calif.) guided Mueller through an episode in his report in which Trump tried to convince his former White House counsel Donald McGahn to deny reports that Trump requested he fire Mueller.

In late January 2018, the New York Times reported that McGahn had threatened to resign the previous year rather than follow through on an order from Trump to fire Mueller. Muelller’s report describes how Trump pressured McGahn to deny the story, including in an Oval Office meeting, in which Trump asked if McGahn would “do a correction.” McGahn said that he would not.

Trump also asked then-aide Rob Porter to tell McGahn to “create a record” making it clear that Trump had never directed McGahn to fire Mueller. He told Porter that if McGahn didn’t write a letter to file on the issue, he might have to “get rid of him.”

There is “substantial evidence,” Mueller wrote in his report, that in repeatedly urging McGahn to dispute that he was ordered to have the special counsel fired, Trump was acting to try to influence McGahn’s account and prevent further scrutiny of Trump’s conduct with regards to the investigation.

Mueller, however, wouldn’t elaborate, confirming these details with simple answers, including “correct” or “yes.” Bass ended her five-minute session with her own statement: “If anyone else had ordered a witness to create a false record … that person would face criminal charges.”

10:05 a.m.: Roby pushes Mueller to explain interactions with the attorney general

Rep. Martha Roby (R-Ala.) asked Mueller to explain his interactions with Attorney General William P. Barr, whom Democrats have said mischaracterized the special counsel’s work.

She asked Mueller whether he had “sought to change the narrative” about his report when he signed a March letter to Barr complaining about the way the attorney general originally characterized his findings.

In that late March letter, Mueller expressed dissatisfaction to Barr about the attorney general’s initial four-page memo to Congress describing the principal conclusions of the investigation.

Mueller wrote that Barr’s memo “did not fully capture the context, nature and substance” of the work his staff had completed.

At a May hearing, Barr called Mueller’s letter “a bit snitty.”

Roby pushed Mueller to explain how his letter had leaked publicly and asked who wrote the document. “I can’t get into who wrote it,” Mueller said. “I will say the letter stands for itself.”

10 a.m.: Why did Trump want Mueller gone?

Democrats’ efforts to get Mueller to explain the motivations of the president fell flat Wednesday, even when it came to getting Mueller to repeat assertions his report made about precisely those questions.

“The most important question I have for you today is why: why did the president of the United States want you fired?” Rep. Ted Deutch (D-Fla.) asked Mueller, who said he couldn’t answer the question. So Deutch answered it for him, by citing a passage from the report in which Mueller wrote “substantial evidence indicates that the president’s attempts to remove the special counsel were linked to the special counsel’s oversight of investigations that involved the president’s conduct, and most immediately to reports that the president was being investigated for potential obstruction of justice.”

Deutch focused most closely on Trump’s contacts with former White House counsel Donald McGahn, a key witness in Mueller’s probe, who told investigators about how Trump appeared to order him to carry out Mueller’s termination, and later lie about it.

Deutch asked Mueller if McGahn understood what the president’s motivations were. Mueller referred him “toward what was written in the report, in terms of characterizing his feelings.”

9:57 a.m.: Mueller and Gohmert spar

Rep. Louis Gohmert (R-Tex.), an old nemesis of Mueller’s, spent his five minutes on the attack. First, he got Mueller to concede that he and fired former FBI director James B. Comey “were friends.” Then, he tried to suggest that the FBI investigation of the president was politically biased from the beginning.

As Gohmert’s tempo quickened and frequently cut off Mueller’s attempted answers, the former special counsel asked in frustration, “May I finish?”

Gohmert barreled forward, arguing that, rather than obstruct justice, Trump set out to defend himself from Trump-hating prosecutors and agents.

“What he’s doing is not obstructing justice. He is pursing justice and the fact that you ran it out two years means you perpetuated injustice,” Gohmert said.

Gohmert and Mueller have a history of antagonism. At a congressional hearing in 2013 when Mueller was FBI director, the congressman angrily accused the FBI of missing a key investigative step before the Boston Marathon bombing. Mueller, who generally takes a low-key approach to congressional hearings, got angry and denied the accusation.

[Transcript: Read Mueller’s testimony before the House Judiciary panel]

9:55 a.m.: Johnson: Diving into an obstruction episode

Rep. Hank C. Johnson (D-Ga.) has begun the Democrats’ strategy of asking sharp, tight questions to explore specific episodes of possible obstruction of justice described in Mueller’s report.

Johnson asked a series of “yes” and “no” questions about an episode described in the report in which Trump called McGahn, the White House counsel, twice at home over a weekend in June 2017 and directed him to get Deputy Attorney General Rod J. Rosenstein to fire Mueller.

“Mueller has to go,” McGahn recounted Trump told him, according to the report. “Call me back when you do it.”

Rather than following the order, McGahn drove to the White House to pack up his belongings and informed three other White House staffers he intended to resign. Ultimately, McGahn remained in his post, and Trump let the matter drop.

Mueller wrote in his report that “substantial evidence” existed that Trump’s efforts to remove Mueller were linked to the special counsel’s investigation of Trump’s conduct.

Parceling out those details, Mueller continually said Johnson had his facts “correct” or that he had “generally” followed the account of the report. But Mueller declined to be pushed even a bit beyond the exact words of the report. At one point, Johnson asked Mueller if he could explain the “significance” of the phone call Trump made to McGahn at home on a Saturday to discuss Mueller. “I’m going to ask you to rely on what we wrote in our report about that,” Mueller responded.

9:45 a.m.: Mueller declines to answer questions on Steele dossier’s origins

Mueller declined to answer a series of questions from Rep. Steve Chabot (R-Ohio) about the origins of the Steele dossier, the memos alleging various connections between members of the Trump campaign and the Russian government.

Mueller repeatedly said that the dossier and Fusion GPS, the U.S.-based investigation company that hired Christopher Steele, a former British intelligence officer, were “outside my purview,” and that the Justice Department was already investigating the dossier.

Republicans have seized on Steele’s research to argue that the FBI probe of the Trump campaign was begun improperly, saying that federal agents leaned too heavily on it when they sought a warrant to monitor the communications of former Trump campaign adviser Carter Page because of his contacts with Russians.

Republicans have also argued the Steele dossier was opposition research funded by the Hillary Clinton campaign. Clinton’s campaign did hire a law firm that hired Fusion GPS. Steele had begun his research earlier at the behest of conservative funders who wanted to compile opposition research about Trump.

9:40 a.m.: Democrats read portions of report themselves, as Mueller responds with short affirmations

Rep. Steve Cohen (D-Tenn.) sought to guide Mueller through one of the most explosive chapters of his report’s presentation of potential obstruction of justice — Trump’s appeals to then-attorney general Jeff Sessions to steer investigative scrutiny away from him — and was met with mostly one-word answers from Mueller.

Sessions recused himself from the government’s investigations of Russia and Trump before Mueller was appointed as special counsel, a decision that Trump tried to get him to undo, as documented in the report. Cohen attempted to sweep Mueller up in a dramatic retelling of the episodes, but the former special counsel’s preferred response was to simply tell him: “that’s in the report,” “I’ll refer you to the report for that,” or some variation.

The exchange illustrated what has been on display throughout the hearing: that for the most part, Mueller is offering sparse responses, and mostly leaving it to Democratic lawmakers to bring the words of his report to life in their own voices.

9:34 a.m.: Another Republican accuses Mueller of ‘fishing’ without charging Trump

Rep. F. James Sensenbrenner Jr. (R-Wis.), who once chaired the Judiciary panel, used his time to criticize Mueller for laying out hundreds of pages worth of investigative material on Trump without charging him with any crime.

Citing the second volume of Mueller’s report, in which Mueller said he decided not to make a traditionally prosecutorial judgment about whether Trump obstructed justice, Sensenbrenner asked why Mueller did the entire investigation when he knew he wasn’t ever going to prosecute Trump.

“The OLC opinion itself says that you can continue the investigation … even if you don’t indict the president,” Mueller responded, referring to Justice Department rules barring the prosecution of a sitting president.

“If you’re not going to indict the president, then you’re just going to continue fishing, that’s my opinion,” Sensenbrenner said.

Sensenbrenner grew visibly frustrated with Mueller when he had to repeat his questions several times. Sensenbrenner also probed why Mueller didn’t use the phrase “impeachable conduct” to describe any actions by Trump laid out in his report, particularly since he appeared to kick to Congress the determination of whether Trump obstructed justice. Mueller merely answered that wasn’t in his mandate.

9:25 a.m.: Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee launches questions on obstruction

Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) pushed Mueller on obstruction of justice, walking the former special counsel, through a series of rapid-fire questions about Volume II’s discussion of potential obstruction of justice, expected to be a recurrent theme of inquiry for Democrats.

In that second volume, Mueller’s team described 10 episodes in which Trump’s actions raised concern about potential obstruction of justice. In some of those cases, the special counsel indicated there was evidence to support key elements of an obstruction charge. But the report stopped short of making an assessment that Trump committed a crime. Democrats repeatedly said before the hearing that they planned to focus on those episodes.

While Jackson Lee’s questions were predictable, Mueller responded in a halting manner, repeatedly asking the Texas lawmaker to repeat her questions.

Her final query was whether conviction on an obstruction of justice charge warranted a significant amount of time in jail. “Yes,” Mueller responded.

9:20 a.m.: Ratcliffe: Mueller applied an “inverted burden of proof”

Rep. John Ratcliffe (R-Tex.) made a lengthy speech, accusing Mueller of inverting the American legal system’s traditional presumption of innocence by declaring in Volume II of his report that he was not recommending charging Trump with obstruction of justice but also could not exonerate him.

Ratcliffe questioned Mueller about whether a prosecutor had ever before found it be his role to conclusively determine a person’s innocence — as opposed to determining whether evidence existed that he committed a crime. Mueller said he could not think of another case and then quietly interjected, “This is a unique situation.”

Ratcliffe then jumped in to say that nowhere in Justice Department policies and standards or in the order appointing Mueller as special counsel could such a mission be found. The presumption of innocence, Ratcliffe said, “exists for everyone. Everyone is entitled to it — including the president.”

The congressman said Mueller had “applied this inverted burden of proof” and then wrote a report about it.

He noted that Democrats have said Trump is not above the law.

“He’s not,” Ratcliffe said. “But he damn sure shouldn’t be below the law, which is where Volume II of this report puts him.”

Mueller sat quietly and did not respond.

9:15 a.m. Mueller says Russians believed a Trump victory would benefit them

Under questioning from Rep. Zoe Lofgren (D-Calif.), Mueller said that the Russians did perceive that the victory of one presidential candidate would benefit them: “It would be Trump,” Mueller said.

The former special counsel also confirmed findings from his report that Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort gave internal campaign information and polling data to an associate whom the FBI has assessed has ties to Russian intelligence.

But Mueller declined to discuss how that information might have assisted the Russians in their efforts to disrupt the campaign. “That’s a little bit out of our path,” Mueller said.

9:10 a.m.: Collusion, conspiracy or none of the above?

Rep. Douglas A. Collins, the panel’s ranking Republican, and Mueller got into a tense back-and-forth about a comparison of terms that has bedeviled the public chatter surrounding Mueller’s probe: if Mueller didn’t find Trump was guilty of a conspiracy, does that also mean he was exonerated of collusion?

Technically, collusion isn’t a specific crime, but in his report, Mueller acknowledged that in common parlance, “collusion is largely synonymous with conspiracy as that crime is set forth in the general federal conspiracy statute.” But when Collins asked him Wednesday if they were colloquially equivalent, Mueller said “No.”

Collins then repeatedly asked Mueller, “Are you contradicting your report,” repeatedly reading from the former special counsel’s text and asking if he needed to speak more slowly for Mueller to follow him.

“I leave it with the report,” Mueller ultimately said, prompting Collins to say he hoped the collusion question could “finally” be put to rest.

9:05 a.m.: Mueller pushes back on Trump’s ‘no collusion, no obstruction’ claim

Mueller rejected claims by Trump that his report cleared him from wrongdoing and confirmed that he could be charged after he leaves office.

In the first back-and-forth, Nadler, the committee chairman, listed a series of basic yes-or-no questions — or inquiries that could be answered in a few words — to get Mueller to confirm that he did not exonerate Trump.

“Did you actually totally exonerate the president?” the New York Democrat asked.

“No,” Mueller said.

“Does that say there was no obstruction?” Nadler said, reading an excerpt from the report where Mueller’s team discussed they could not “exonerate” Trump on the matter.

“No.”

Mueller went on to talk about Justice Department rules that say a sitting president cannot be indicted.

“The report did not conclude that he did not commit of obstruction of justice,” Nadler asked again.

“That is correct,” Mueller said.

The president has repeatedly claimed the report showed there was “no collusion” and “no obstruction.”

Asked if “under DOJ policy the president could be prosecuted for obstruction of justice crimes after he leaves office,” Mueller responded: “True.”

Mueller also confirmed that Trump refused to be interviewed by his team.

9 a.m.: Mueller makes clear his investigation did not exonerate the president

“The president was not exculpated for the acts that he allegedly committed,” the former special counsel told the House Judiciary Committee.

Asked whether the president could potentially be indicted after leaving office, Mueller responded, “True.”

8:55 a.m.: What Mueller stressed in his opening statement

In his opening statement, Mueller stressed three points: the special counsel’s investigation found “sweeping and systematic” Russian interference in the 2016 election, it did not establish a conspiracy between the Kremlin and the Trump campaign and its inquiry into obstruction was “of critical importance.”

In response to later questions, Mueller would say more explicitly, as his report did, that the investigation did not exonerate Trump on obstruction. But in his opening statement, he stopped short of even that.

“Finally, as described in Volume 2 of our report, we investigated a series of actions by the president toward the investigation,” Mueller said. “Based on Justice Department policy and principles of fairness, we decided we would not make a determination as to whether the president committed a crime. That was our decision then and it remains our decision today.”

8:50 a.m.: The topics Mueller says he won’t address

In his prepared opening statement, Mueller reiterated that he plans to stay “within the text” of his 448-page report and provided a list of questions he won’t be able to answer.

“In writing the report, we stated the results of our investigation with precision. We scrutinized every word,” Mueller said. “I do not intend to summarize or describe the results of our work in a different way in the course of my testimony today.”

Likely to the disappointment of Republicans, he said he would be “unable to address questions about the opening of the FBI’s Russia investigation, which occurred months before my appointment, or matters related to the so-called ‘Steele Dossier.’” Conservatives have focused much of their ire on that document — an opposition research product funded by the Clinton campaign that made lurid and unproven allegations against Trump and played a role in the early portion of the Russia investigation.

Likely to the dismay of Democrats, Mueller also said he would “not comment on the actions of the attorney general or of Congress.”

Mueller noted that court rules or judicial orders limit the disclosure of some information, and that the Justice Department had asserted “privileges concerning investigative information and decisions, ongoing matters within the Justice Department, and deliberations within our office.”

“These are Justice Department privileges that I will respect,” Mueller said.

8:45 a.m.: Republicans to question origins of Mueller report

1 note · View note

hazelmeetselectroshock · 6 years ago

Text

I have another bilateral treatment in like four hours.

So I’ve always been bad with faces but right now I legit cannot recognize faces and names. I’m looking through my notes and seeing that I’m following people and idk who they are.

Earlier today I couldn’t remember whether my husband had ever met my best friend Gertie in meatspace. We’ve stayed at her house. Twice. We fixed her dryer, kinda, it was a hell of an event. But I couldn’t put those meetings into a timeline or any kind of larger context.

So, I live in Bangor Maine and Gertie lives in St. Louis. That’s approximately 24 hours of driving or 8 hours of flying. Fortunately for me, my dad is from St. Louis and my gramma and whole paternal family lives right there. So I make that trip not infrequently.

So thinking “has my husband ever been to Gertie’s house” I have to first think of my visits. What was I doing there? Gishwhes, usually.

I start thinking of the layout of the house, places I’ve crashed. I’ve got some parts of it- kitchen, living room, bathroom- but I’m not getting the recall for some other parts. I’m pretty sure I was there in December and it’s currently March, so this is a building I should remember.

Beyond December, I can’t remember the last time I was there. It’s been multiple times. I was there once while I was pregnant and that was two and a half years ago. I could probably put a timeline together by compiling chat logs and emails and photos.

But without gathering those anecdotes I can’t build a mental “layout” of the time or place. And it’s like that with.... everything. Yesterday I couldn’t find the measuring cups in a house where I’ve lived for like two years. I say “like” two years because without really thinking about it, I’m not sure.

I found them by looking. Once I found them I remembered putting them there. I remembered buying them. All the info is still there, I just can’t remember how to get to it or how it relates to other memories.

It’s wednesday today, the last treatment is friday or monday. So I’ll be coming out of it soon. I just wanted to write some of this down.

4 notes · View notes

anchorandrope · 3 years ago

Text

BABYGATE IN PICTURES - MASTERPOST PART 5. - LOUIS DURING BABYGATE (UNTIL THE BIRTH)

This masterpost belongs to tellmethisisnotlove (@tellmethisisnottumblisnextfuckup) who authorized me to post it. All credits go to her.

The rest of the Masterposts

Masterposts in Docs

Hello and welcome back to the masterpost series! We have covered approximately 25% of babygate, it is a tremendous topic, so if you made it this far, congratulations! :)

As babygate is such a huge topic, I HAD to create separate posts that focus on one single topic, and this next one was almost touched in every post, but never completely. In Part 1 a party-image was given to Louis and you could see he participated doing no more than the required bare minimum. In Part 2 we covered some interesting foreshadowing of babygate, from throwing the unsourced doll and calling it NOT REAL 3 times to holding his friend’s Tamara Bell’s hand during the Glastonbury Festival. In Part 3 we covered the announcement and the media reactions to it, but we have not talked about Louis not speaking up to defend pretty much anything babygate-related, however he is one of the most outspoken loyal and protective people I have ever seen. I will talk about in this post as well. In Part 4 there was the vast majority of his actions reported in the media, but the actual videos were not shared, nor his body language was analyzed and this is where I promise I am getting to the point now.

This is Louis Tomlinson during babygate - up until the birth.

Tamara Bell

Throwing doll off stage - It’s not real.

GMA - the confirmation, first baby mention

You’re gonna be a great dad sign

Throwing another doll off stage

STV Glasgow - the second baby mention

Unreality TV congratulates

ITV interview: no responsibilities, no solid plans

Louis and any kid

Louis’ protective and loyal personality - Never been good at biting me tongue

Pic compilation of his reaction whenever asked about the baby plus a short summary

(1) JUNE 26: Tamara Bell

HERE.

(2) JUNE 27: Doll thrown off stage (IT’S NOT REAL 3x)

The incident I have mentioned before, here is the transcript again:

Louis: what’s this baby doing here? Liam: who has thrown their baby on stage!? that is OUTRAGEOUS! Louis: it’s not real!!! Liam: oh no… it’s.. it’s a fake baby guys. Louis: it’s not real… it’s.. not… real… (he’s looking on the ground reciting that) Liam: that is for all those people out there who think that was a real baby…

GIF credit: tommosloueh More context about this HERE.

(3) AUG 4: Good Morning America LIVE - the confirmation.

Michael Strahan: Louis, from one father to another I want to congratulate you on your upcoming fatherhood. So how are you feeling? Louis: Thank you, yeah. Obviously it’s a very exciting time, so I’m buzzing. Thank you.

Let’s go through his body language. credit: Celebmix (x)

My father lived with a gentleman who is a professor of psychology, and he’s an incredible person outside of that. After the video posted yesterday I decided to shoot him an email asking what his short version of an opinion was on everything, just their reactions, etc.

Here’s the father’s reply:

I watched the video and the only thing I thought was how uncomfortable. The remark does not look like it was rehearsed at all; he sort of tosses it in in passing to get a real reaction and real is what he got. If this kid is supposed to be happy about having a baby, he isn’t. The pursed lips is a thing we look for when we sense lying, it’s a mechanical act of the body to force in a lie.He also looks to (our) left slightly a few times that’s a large clue as well. The right side of your brain contains your imagination and has been deemed the creative side. Without knowing it your eyes turn to the left when you’re trying to come up with a story. I’ll have to look more into the story. If you want to email me about it I’m curious to hear more and assess it further. He’s lying to cover up something and when the woman asked the other boy why he was so quiet, that was not done to change topics it seemed like it was done purposely to bring attention to his lack of a reaction specifically which makes me think there is something going on behind the scenes there.

The body language from the other boys when the question was asked was not welcoming either.They’re was clear discomfort between all of them and the boy sitting right next to him looked directly at him waiting for his response but not in a congratulatory way and if these boys are all friends you’d think they’d be happy for the news. It seems as if he was ready to protect him if he looked weak or stumbled, you don’t need to protect someone who is anticipating a happy life change.

Also, has their sexuality been questioned? The smaller one and the one with the long hair? Him being the only one asked about his lack of response when neither of the other boys had one either is telling.

_ This isn’t concrete evidence of anything, merely an opinion from someone who’s got a background in knowing what to read when people are interviewed/questioned and body language generally. It doesn’t state that he doesn’t believe Louis is going to be a dad, just that something fishy seems to be going on too

The following is an analysis based on this article,

credit: Lirrylocks

GIF credit: whattarush

normally be reluctant to refer to himself, whereas in normal conversation we usually refer to ourselves a lot. Watch out for less use of ‘I’, ‘my’, ‘me’ and so on.

He’s ‘buzzin’ but he doesn’t say he is excited…CHECK

SLOWING DOWN. Because a liar has to juggle different thoughts with one another and be careful of tripping himself up - his speech will slow accordingly. His language may become stiffer and more formal and there will more slips of the tongue and pauses in his speech that may be filled with ‘er’ and ‘um’ to give himself more time to think

CHECK

A fake smile. It’s hard for liars to give a real smile while seeking to deceive. (Real smiles crinkle the corners of the eyes and change the entire face. Faked smiles involve the mouth only.)

CHECK

Micro-expressions. Difficult to catch, but if you ever spot a fleeting expression that contradicts a verbal statement, believe what you see and not what you hear.

CHECK

The quick-check glance. This may follow a less-than-truthful response: Liars will immediately look down and away, then back at you again in a brief glimpse to see if you bought the falsehood.

CHECK

Liars also purse their mouths —It’s a classic expression of guilt.

This following picture collection is credit to: legohousedea

(4) AUG 8: You’re gonna be a great dad sign

credit

credit. Watch his reaction around 0:10.

https://youtu.be/I3FpgkgP5c0

GIF credit: tommosloueh

credit allegedlymags

(5) AUG 23: Another doll thrown from stage.

Check video here

(6) OCT 7: STV Glasgow interview: another baby question

https://youtu.be/dYTvfzNXsN0

They started out very loose, all 3 with an open, relaxed body language.

These snippets are just to show that they were having fun.

A lot of fun.

Still having fun here.

Now on the pic below, this is the moment they finished the baby segment. Look at the boys:

This is a screengrab from when the interviewer says goodbye.:

Here’s the transcript.

Louis: I think we’re gonna go on a lads holiday, aren’t we, lad? So, that’s about ALL we got planned at this stage, I think, yeah. Int: And you’ve obviously got a little one on the way as well, are you excited about that? Louis: I am, yeah, I’m very excited. Int: It’s going to be nice to have some time to spend with the baby Louis: Yeah, it’s gonna be really nice, yeah. Louis:

gif credit: 16meets18

Just to see it more drastically:

This is how their body language was in the beginning:

And this is how it ended:

Some thoughts about the interview:

credit: teapotpourri

credit: teapotpurri

credit: ohnooooonedirection

(7) OCT 21: Interview released with Unreality TV

(8) OCT 27: Asked about the hiatus: no responsibilities, no solid plans.

For video click here:

GIF credit: tommosloueh

Again, someone forgot they would be having a baby…

credit: hometolouis

The boys started their promo season for their album Made In The AM but the babygate question was blacklisted.

This is from Fabulous magazine which did an interview with 1D:

Another interviewer saying no personal questions were allowed.

(9) James Corden Late Late Show:

GIF credit: cutieharrie

And there were really no personal questions during the MITAM promo after these.

So this has been Louis Tomlinson up until the birth.

Here is Louis Tomlinson with kids. Just so you see that this boy LOVES kids/babies.

with his youngest brother and sister:

his youngest sister:

He not only loves them, he goes above and beyond and is part of several charities that are helping children. He hosted a Cinderella Ball with Believe in Magic alongside his mom.

Family values are important to him He is a loyal, protective boy. Protective of his family, of his friends, fans and Doncaster Rovers.

FANS:

This was his reaction when the Mirror posted a disgusting article about him:

Or:

Or his infamous twitter feud with The Wanted.

(this is only part of it, the entire war is here)

Or when again fans are insulted: 7:43 is the tweet, 8:12 is Louis’ reply.

Another one, he tweeted his opinion about Rovers and this twitter user called him out:

He replied within 41 minutes

Another one where he called out news outlets:

An asshole fan insulted him, he replied with his usual sass.

A band that was insulting him liking their music: 2014 dec 19.

This is for parents who felt insulted by the lyrics of I1D’s Live While We’re Young:

Do you get what I mean? He litereally said:

I’ve never been very good at biting my tongue.

Now you saw a few examples how Louis is not afraid to speak up for his people. Now please remember all the headlines, all the implications that we covered in previous masterposts, all the sass and disrespect this baby and the baby mama received and LOOK at how THIS Louis, this sassy, loyal and protective Louis, who is the real Louis Tomlinson NEVER EVER STOOD UP for her and them.

Never.

Isn’t that weird?

THIS IS HIM DURING BABYGATE:

There is no crinkling eyes, there is no happiness, there is pursed mouth, there is pushing by reporters but never him, there is him saying he has no plans. There is anything but normalcy.

Look at the pictures. Can you say he is happy to be a dad? Can you say he is not feeling discomfort?

So we have a

non-celeb girl being pregnant

announcing it at week 11

to the entire world, seriously it was EVERYWHERE.

no reaction from Louis or anyone, don’t forget that the rep never commented it

until AUG 4 during a live show

then anytime he is asked about the baby or being a dad his discomfort is clear

when asked about the hiatus he never mentions the baby himself.

never utters the words: DAD, BABY, BRIANA.

he addresses the situation as IT.

If there is a real baby and his discomfort is clear, why was it announced? Why not sweep it under the rug? HE is the celebrity, not the woman. Why is this even happening when there was no paternity test to prove if the baby is even his? Why are the headlines not implying that this girl CLAIMS to have his baby, but instead they all say HE IS GOING TO BE A DAD?

Why is the media so shady with this baby? Why are they calling it spawn and why are they making everything about Larry?

Good questions, huh?

Thank you for reading this!

This was Part 5 of the babygate masterpost.

#babygate

33 notes · View notes

xmagicxpenguinx · 7 years ago

Text

I’m going through my school emails to and from my friends and I found some good out-of-context quotes that are really fucking stupid and a good example of what school is really like

THATA ALL YOU SAY?? IM HAVING A BREAKDOOW N AND YOU JUST SAY OK???

I literally cant do maths

the teacher has bad breath

I like shells.

Im tired and bored

Ohh ok I cant read.

DESN EHLP I HAVE TO LIP SYNC IN FRONT OF EVERYONE IN MUSIC HEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPP

I feel slightly depressed

Wat sexually explicit picture did u sned me

The IT guys can see that u know yuckkk

Is Vines even a thing anymore? I am so confused

This is so boring…

I want to die

I don’t care about this anymore

I am so in love with your work… can I take it to Vegas and marry it?

ITS HAPPENING! IT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING I AM CRYING IN THE CLUB SNED HELP

You have sent me 2562 emaiks in total rip my computre

*dogs snort noise* ill be sure to mention u in my biography

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yeah I might fail this test though. Im sure I will be finr

I COLOURED MY HAIR AND IT LOOKS COOL BUT I MIGHT GET IN TROUBLE SO IM SCARED

Oh and don’t worry we can be hobos together! I’m failing 2!!!!!

Look up larry fics on wattpad ;)

Just took a quiz about which 1d guy I should go off with and it said Louis so yeah that is how productive I have been

Im not “sticking up for him” and I AM NOT A FROG he is a frog and I will not b kissing him to make him a human

got an A and a B on my sellpinh test

Good job with ur Orals today (this makes me laugh so hard)

U are racist to the sheeps now

the stupid sheeps are loud and obnoxious so im just demonstrating the loudness of them

GOOD BYE RACIST ANIMAL HURTERER

Im happy that u don't have a hangover (i was 13 then wtf)

he kept sucking everything

I am making my brother watch highschool musical I think he hate me noe

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#why am i sharing this #idk #i felt shit #and reading old emails always makes me laugh #shut up evie

5 notes · View notes

theloniousbach · 4 years ago

Text

ON PHILIP EWELL AND LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN, TIMOTHY JACKSON AND HEINRICH SCHENKER

This post is adapted from an email I sent first to two friends/colleagues with doctorates in music who answered some initial questions prompted by a New York Times article of all things on the mess Timothy Jackson got himself into.

I then forwarded it to another learned friend whom I met through history of science but who is also an excellent violinist. It blows his cover a bit to say that I treasure the introduction to piano trio music he, his brother, and a friend provided when we stopped into his parent's summer place while on vacation.

I have tried to make it a bit more for the record, but frankly if they don't read it, then why should you? I'm just going to archive it over on my Tumblr and those start here.

Still I thank them for being the audience I was trying to explain my thinking to.

SCHENKERIAN ANALYSIS

On the basis of what I think I understand from the chapter in Cook and some Wikipedia articles for definitions, etc, I don’t see much reason to learn enough to go deeper with it. It won't deepen my enjoyment of music.

It seems like a formalism and, as such, seems more like a counterpart to the New Criticism that my undergraduate English professors incorporated/responded to when I majored in the field in the 1970s. I graduated in English, but I’d already shifted to history of science with a badly damaged ability to read fiction for fun. There I walked into the loosening grip of “internalist” history of science solely interested in the paper by paper advance of a scientific theory and discussion. So I think I know what you all are up against.

I didn’t get very far with a similar suggestion to look at Mann’s version of Fux on counterpoint with my young songwriter. I’ve been talking with her since shortly after the lockdown started about what I would have called “music theory” (chord structure, bass lines, melodic options). In that context, Mann/Fux, despite its own formalism, helped us think about some rudiments of composition. But, from the start, I have insisted to her that our exploration is to stop if the theory/knowledge inhibits her creativity.

A recent entry in JSTOR Daily offered an interesting discussion of how music education in South Africa doesn’t capture music making, particularly by kids. I bet so-called “whiteness” plays an outsized role, but it’s also a problem that all us academics/intellectuals have to grapple with—are we more committed to our subjects or our disciplines?

My FB thread this week reminded me of Edward Tufte’s quote to the effect that the world is more interesting than our disciplines. Good ol’ Edgar Anderson similarly said knowledge is of one piece but universities for administrative and bureaucratic reasons divide it into departments.

I’m willing to be un-“disciplined.” I always was in favor of industrial unions over craft unions and indeed a broader fight for the class as a whole rather than just the dues payers. But that’s about broader politics. Instead, let’s talk about

ACADEMIC POLITICS

Heinrich Schenker is a racist, even by his own time’s standards.

Timothy Jackson is woefully politically inept.

Philip Ewell is an interesting provocateur. He is really the only one worth commenting on.

What to make of the notion that Beethoven is merely "an above average composer" and we should pay as much attention to Esperanza Spalding as him.

I more know of Spalding than know her music, much less 12 Little Spells. She sings so I have to overcome that tic/prejudice to listen to her, but I love bass players I know her best from playing with Wayne Shorter who may well be the third jazz (African Diaspora Art Music?) composer after Ellington/Strayhorn and Monk. But, as that little intentional digression is meant to show, I take that iteration of Art Music seriously.

And it’s all folk music because I never heard a horse sings (that’s borrowed from Leadbelly or Louis Armstrong or somebody.). I also take non-Art music very seriously and read Ewell’s Beethoven essay with the Carolina Chocolate Drops on playing old time-y string band music (ur-bluegrass) to reclaim the Black contribution to it.).

In the grand scheme of music, Beethoven is, okay, above average. It’s a much bigger pool than Schenker and, frankly, your discipline considers. I’d put him way way up there in terms of European Tradition Art Music but in MUSIC where does he place with Monk, Doc Watson, and the Roms/Greeks/Jews/Turks (lots and lots of them) playing Tsiftetellis in the tavernas in Istanbul? Certainly above average, one among so much great music in the world.

So bring on the provocation, Dr. Ewell.

But, in my undisciplined way, I hear Cecil Taylor in parts of Piano Sonata #32 and some of the more out there Blue Note albums of the 1960s in the Grosse Fugue. When I heard Richard Goode play Sonata #28 this week, his touch reminded me of Kenny Barron's.

Music is more interesting than music theory.

But I sit at my keyboard trying to get little magic moments in jazz standards in my hands. That much theory helps me listen better. I hope one day to get similar moments of the European Tradition in my hands; it frankly is harder, not better just harder.

If I get to the point that Schenker helps even a little, then his relevance will still be pretty minimal.

Beethoven’s is not. Nor is Billy Strayhorn’s and Bill Monroe’s.

#2021 #european tradition art music #jazz

0 notes

bigyack-com · 6 years ago

Text

The Quiet Return of Bruce Weber and Mario Testino

Man About Town, an independent but increasingly influential fashion magazine that publishes twice a year, shows nearly as much skin as it does clothing. In one shoot from its current issue, Cesar Vicente sits shirtless atop a table, giving bedroom eyes. In another, a handsome dancer disrobes in the shower until he is totally naked, his hand barely covering his genitals.The photographs, which appear alongside advertisements from Prada, Louis Vuitton and Gucci, run more than 60 pages and were shot by Bruce Weber, the fashion photographer who was accused in 2018 of allegations of sexual misconduct by more than a dozen models who spoke to The New York Times.Mr. Weber had shot for publications like Vogue, Vanity Fair, GQ, W and Glamour for decades; Condé Nast, the parent company of those magazines, said they would stop hiring him. He was dropped by Ralph Lauren, Abercrombie & Fitch and Versace. All had employed him for ad campaigns. Mr. Weber, through spokesmen, has consistently denied all accusations.In other industries, powerful men trying to recover from accusations of sexual misconduct have followed a basic playbook: Acknowledge wrongdoing, disappear from view and make a significant appeal for forgiveness by one’s accusers. Post nothing to Instagram that signals an emotion other than regret.But this business operates according to different rules.

Mr. Weber is still invited to movie premieres and dinners hosted by big name industry players. He has recently had work appear in other emerging fashion magazines. He posts old pictures to Instagram, where they garner likes from Nicolas Ghesquière (the artistic director at Louis Vuitton), Carine Roitfeld (the former editor of French Vogue), and Marie-Amelie Sauvé (a well-regarded stylist). He remains the defendant in a pending lawsuit filed in 2017 by Jason Boyce, a former model who said that Mr. Weber groped and kissed him during a test shoot, the industry’s equivalent of an audition. He is party to another, brought by five unnamed models who filed a federal complaint against him in 2018.Jonathan Bernstein, an employee of Mr. Weber, said in a statement this week that Mr. Weber “is looking forward to having his day in court.”Mr. Weber, he said, thanks “his studio, his family, his friends and the people who love his work for their support.”These supporters say they are frustrated that a mild mannered guy who devotes enormous amounts of time and money to charity is benched. They point out that the fashion world is filled with characters who treat subordinates badly, though the abuse inflicted is nonsexual.They point out that the attorney for the plaintiffs in both suits against Mr. Weber is Lisa Bloom, whose reputation has been shaped in part through her representation of tabloid characters like the model Blac Chyna and the disgraced movie producer Harvey Weinstein.And they want to compare him to powerful men who are experiencing rebounds — but most of those have first acknowledged and apologized for wrongdoing. So Mr. Weber exists in a state of demi-cancellation. He is no longer the giant of yore, but numerous modeling agents remain willing, even eager, to work with him. Stephanie Grill heads the men’s division at Click Models in New York. She said she “doesn’t know” if any of her clients were among those who accused Mr. Weber of misconduct last year. But she said she had no hesitation about sending models for castings with Mr. Weber earlier this year when his office called to say he was planning a shoot. “The guys are aware of the allegations,” she said. “They love working with him.”She pointed to Jacob Lewandowski, a 26-year-old model who ultimately got cast in one of the Man About Town spreads and had just been telling her how beautiful the pictures were. “He had a great experience,” she said. “I would love for you to talk to him.”Mr. Lewandowski did have positive things to say about Mr. Weber and the pictures that had been taken of him.He said none of Mr. Weber’s famous “breathing exercises” took place at his casting.But Mr. Lewandowski also said he didn’t know who Mr. Weber was when he went for his first meeting. “She said ‘You have a go-see at,’ I think it was 10 a.m. ‘Can you make it?’ I said, ‘Yeah.’” Apparently Ms. Grill had not told him there were numerous allegations of sexual misconduct against Mr. Weber. “That’s possible,” Ms. Grill said, in a follow-up conversation. “But before he worked with him, he knew and made it very clear he was perfectly fine with it.”

Huw Gwyther, the editorial and creative director of Man About Town, wrote in an email that he has gone back and forth about publishing Mr. Weber’s current shoots. But earlier in his career Mr. Gwyther had worked for Mario Testino, another top level photographer whose career was upended by sexual misconduct allegations. “And my personal experience of working with him (for three and a half years) was nothing but absolutely positive,” he said. That “probably had an influence” on why he chose to run Mr. Weber’s work, Mr. Gwyther said. “I don’t honestly know if I made the ‘right’ decision,” he said. “But it is a fact that I have published his work.“I am a publisher,” he continued. “I am obviously not a judge, nor serving on a jury. I believe in everyone’s right to due process.”Man About Town.Credit...Jacqueline HarrietAnother reason Mr. Gwyther offered for why he had chosen to publish is that the shoot was not commissioned by the magazine. Mr. Weber, he said, was “not paid for his work.” Instead, he completed the shoots on his own and then submitted them for publication — free of charge.The sight of Mr. Weber’s name in his magazine has revived arguments about the fashion business’s overall response to the #MeToo movement.“Nothing has changed,” said Sara Ziff, a model who worked with Mr. Weber on one of his Abercrombie shoots (an environment she described as unprofessional). She now serves as the executive director of the Model Alliance, a nonprofit devoted to combating industry abuse.Part of the reason, Ms. Ziff said, is that models in the United States are generally considered independent contractors and don’t have the kind of union representation actors have. But it is also true that fashion is perhaps the only business where women in front of the camera make more money than men. Disposability feeds abuse. There is also an expectation that men, by virtue of their physical size, can fend for themselves during unwanted advances, despite imbalances in power.Agents often operate according to the principle that models ought to be “comfortable” enough with themselves to set their own parameters with photographers, no matter the consequences.Christian Alexander, an agent at Front Management in Miami represents two models in Mr. Weber’s Man About Town feature. In an interview, he complained that the press is “always focusing on the negative” and said that he had never had a client accuse Mr. Weber of misconduct.Mr. Alexander then amended that last part. He had previously worked with Mark Ricketson. In 2017, Mr. Ricketson cried during a news conference as he alleged sexual misconduct by Mr. Weber during a test shoot. Mr. Weber has denied the allegations.Mr. Ricketson said that he hadn’t told his agents about the experience at the time, because, “like other young men,” he knew that “if we protested or refused that we would be blacklisted, not just from the photo shoot, but likely from our agency.”Mr. Alexander said he considers Mr. Ricketson an opportunist and a fraud. “When I saw that video with those fake crocodile tears, I was shocked,” he said. “It blew my mind.”Mr. Alexander also wasn’t particularly concerned that four models told The Advocate in 2018 that they had been sexually assaulted by Rick Day, a New York photographer who is frequently selected by agencies to do tear sheets of models.As Mr. Alexander saw it, Mr. Day simply has an off-color, truck driver-ish way of speaking. He’s “old school,” he said. “Anyone can take anything out of context and reword it.”So his agency continues to work with Mr. Day and Mr. Weber.“Why is this even still relevant news?” Mr. Alexander asked. “This happened, like, two years ago.”“It’s frustrating,” Ms. Ziff said, “but unfortunately not surprising to hear the lack of sympathy for this young population of people who are uniquely vulnerable to sexual assault in an industry without any enforceable standards or genuine accountability. I’m glad you got that on the record because that’s what’s often said behind closed doors.”Mr. Weber is not the only fashion photographer accused of harassment or exploitation who appears to be making inroads at reviving his career. Two weeks ago, Kim Kardashian posted a lush, black and white photograph of herself and one of her daughters to Instagram. She credited Mr. Testino with the recent photo. Diet Prada, an Instagram account that serves as a kind of industry watchdog, posted a screengrab next to comments Ms. Kardashian previously made professing support for victims of sexual harassment. Source link Read the full article

0 notes

28allthelove28 · 8 years ago

Text

Discussion on Fan Fiction and my Artwork (1D, Fionn, Larry)

My art is about obsession and fandom. Whether it be an obsession over a certain personal circumstance, like a break up, or an obsession with a band, like The Cure, or a particular colour, like orange. Essentially, I make work about the things in my brain, but because the enjoyment of a singer or the feeling of heartache is a universal thing, my work can also be relatable for other people, and my love of a band or a celebrity can equally reflect on the wider popular culture or trends which surround that band.

My current work deals with my own obsessions with celebrity and romance, by transforming them into art, and hopefully something humorous. I found myself becoming obsessed with a young actor called Fionn Whitehead, who I discovered through an existing obsession with Harry Styles. I wrote a 13500+ piece of text about Fionn, called Pink Dolphin, and then I made visual art from that text. I took all of my thoughts and I made them into something else. Something potentially debilitating became something creative. Something overwhelming became something I could control. Something fun.

I believe in making good come from bad, which is why I took my constant daydreams about Fionn Whitehead and made them into a story. I then depicted that story through collages, and from those collages I made drawings, and then I displayed all of that work in an installation, and soon, I forgot the obsession from which it all started. I thought about the artwork instead of who the artwork was about. And now, I hope to make work about obsession instead of my obsession.

I often feel like my art is sometimes quantity over quality, because I feel the quantity makes it quality. My brain is always busy, so I want my art to be busy to mirror that, hence the installation. The overwhelming-ness, the endlessness, the mass – that from inside of myself and from the inside of an obsession. I think I want the impact to come from the amount of art, and the context behind the art, slightly more so than the art itself.

* You can view detailed examples of all of my Fionn Whitehead fan art on https://ionafrancesbrowndoingart.wordpress.com/ in the posts titled ‘Fandom’, ‘Recent art & essay on fan fiction’, and ‘Pink Dolphin illustrations’ and scroll through the blog for some One Direction and Larry Stylinson fan art further down. My Fionn fan fiction is the post after this one on https://28allthelove28.tumblr.com/ *

Yes, this entire project was initially born out of my obsession and overwhelming admiration and respect for Fionn Whitehead, but in writing about him for Pink Dolphin, I very quickly became more concerned with the story surrounding his character, something obscure which I had created. The writing became more about red and pink interiors, a dreamlike thought, a surreal film set, feeling trapped somewhere by choice, a love of nature and fashion, feelings of frustration and shyness, overthinking things, performance art and cinema and David Hockney’s paintings. Really, everything came from a poem which I wrote about a dream where I saw myself and Fionn by an outdoor swimming pool at sunset. The writing all began with my obsession and fandom, but it quickly grew to host other things.

The story I’ve written, due to it being about Fionn, is grouped into the genre of ‘fan fiction’ – which means an imagined story written by a fan about their idol. Fan fiction is usually romantic and/or sexual, but not exclusively. Harry Potter fan fiction is very popular, as is Game Of Thrones, One Direction and ‘Larry Stylinson’ fan fiction (the couple name for Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson from One Direction). Often the characters in fan fiction exist in an ‘alternate reality’, either the celebrity or existing character have a different profession, or are from another country, or met each other via different means. The end goal in a fan fiction, or at least the kind I’m familiar with, is usually the main character or two main characters getting together, romantically or physically, often after having defeated some form of obstacle.

It may at first seem like fan fiction is very simple to write, but it can actually take a great deal of time and effort. Aside from the fact that my story is about Fionn, and does include the typical angst, romance and ‘smut’, it also has depth in other areas, and parts of it could possibly be a story in their own right. Yes, Pink Dolphin is in the format of fan fiction, but it is still (hopefully) a pretty good and interesting, thought provoking, fairly well written piece of text, much like other fan fiction that I’ve read by other people.

Readers learn from, and deeply connect with these stories, the person whom you are a fan of, and the romance, or sex, or friendship between characters which engages you in the first place, is present, but it is the manner or style with which that is written about, and the other themes surrounding it, which capture, and move, and resonate with you. There are so many powerful, emotional, comforting, universal, educational, impacting, funny, enlightening, and genuinely amazing pieces of text which exist in the confines of fan fiction, that may consequently not be considered with as much, or any, credibility or respect, or even not be discovered at all outside of the fandom, but that can often be as good, if not better, and longer, than published, professional novels. The fact that people choose to write epic, well-considered stories and share them with the world, to read online, for free, is amazing.

There is a Larry Stylinson fiction for example, which is infamous amongst fans, called That’s Me In The Spotlight, but more commonly referred to as ‘the Jesus fic’. This work is around 31 chapters long and is still unfinished. It disappeared from the fan fiction website, so people made PDF documents and emailed it round on request, because it was so popular. It is a moving, scandalous, tremendously well written, and almost biblical, in depth reflection on religion, love, passion, culture and homophobia. The Jesus fic is an ‘alternative universe’ where Harry Styles is a young Texan Christian struggling with his sexuality, and what that means for his faith and his family, and Louis Tomlinson is an older Parisian fashion designer who helps teach Harry to accept who he is and treat everybody with respect.

My other favourite Larry fic, The Wonderlands, is a gorgeous, long text, also set in an alternate reality. Harry is a florist and single parent, him and the mother of his child are gay but got pregnant together when they were 17, the mother was his best friend who he deeply loved but she tragically died when their daughter was several months old. He meets Louis years after the ending of One Direction when he’s running his own record company and signs Harry’s teenage, and incredibly cool, daughter, Andy (Andromeda), for a new rock band. The story is written so wonderfully and truthfully and the way parenting is covered is fascinating, so heartfelt and completely inspiring. Many fan fiction stories, like these two examples, stick with you long after reading them, and can influence the way you consider things, and can move you to be more educated, compassionate, and gentle in your real life.

By acknowledging my own story in the framework of these other long, alternate universe fan fictions, I am by no means bigging my story up, I am simply discussing it in tandem with the overall genre of fan fiction, and saying that although my work is an imagined romance with a celebrity, I think, like many other fan fics, there are some engaging and worthy parts in there. Although fan fiction can be laughed at and not taken seriously, I believe that people getting involved with voluntary writing, unlocking their imaginations, and gaining the self-confidence to hone in on a creative skill and share that with people, whilst learning more about life and about themselves, is a brilliantly wonderful thing, and something which should be celebrated and encouraged.

0 notes

jessicakehoe · 5 years ago

Text

Couture USA Team Profile Series: Photographer Lydia Challenger

In the business of designer retail, it goes without question that looks are absolutely everything! From detailed product shots to coming up with thumbs-up worthy content for our blog and social media handles, the creation of visual content is crucial to creating the WOW factor that catches the eyes of our customers and requires a great deal of patience and inherent creativity. In house photographer and web designer Lydia Challenger is not new to the world of art and design. Developing a passion for capturing the moment at an early age, Challenger graduated from the University of Florida with a BFA in Art with a concentration in photography. She has worked in various sectors of creative fields, from shooting weddings and dance performances to digitally restoring old photos and negatives. In this feature of the Couture USA Team profile series, we sit down with Challenger who gives us further insight to her background and creative process, even sharing some words of wisdom to the aspiring photographer!

What sparked your interest in photography?

My sister and I got matching cameras for our birthdays when I was about 8 years old and I immediately fell in love. I shot 35mm film and the rolls would pile up on our kitchen counter until my mom would take them all to be developed. It would be so exciting to get those negatives back and I still feel that way each time I sift through a batch of images after a shoot. There are always a few gems in each group that I am really proud of.

How would you describe your wardrobe style?

I would wear evening gowns and high heels every day of my life if I could, but realistically my style is more like young professional meets a field of wildflowers. I believe in lots of patterns (especially floral), bright colors, dresses for every occasion, heirloom jewelry, and good pairs of jeans.

What interested you in becoming a part of the Couture USA team?

At any given time, there is a pile of old fashion magazines in my room that I could look at over and over again. Getting to work with the clothing and accessories that I admire in those pages has been a dream. My favorite thing is mixing our inventory into the Couture USA team's individual styles to create mini lifestyle shoots for our social media accounts, which if you are reading this and you don’t follow yet please do!

What are your favorite pieces to shoot?

I enjoy all the posts that I do for the blog and Instagram the most because I get to move away from my white backdrop and let my creativity run wild. My coworkers are my favorite subjects and they have quickly become the stars of our social media pages. We each have such unique styles and have a blast working together to accessorize with our inventory. I hope seeing bags and jewelry in the context of an entire outfit helps to inspire our customers to create their own. Be sure to tag us when you do!

Who is your favorite designer?

It's so hard to pick just one! I think I have loved every Chloe bag that we've gotten during my 3 years at Couture so that is definitely in the running. I am also a huge Epi leather Louis Vuitton fan and carry my brown Noe bag almost every day.

How would you describe your creative process for creating content for the website and our social media accounts?

Most often, I am sticking to a seasonal or sale theme, but occasionally I imagine the kind of person that would use each item and try to add accessories or clothes to match that imagined personality. The audience that we cater to is as diverse as our inventory so I try to keep our social media feeds fresh and ever-changing.

Scroll down to shop Lydia's favorites!

Outside of your work, what are some of your favorite places/things to shoot?

Portraits are my absolute favorite. There is no better feeling than taking a photo of someone that makes them feel confident and beautiful. When I see my photos on social media, someone’s refrigerator, or even better, framed on their grandma’s wall, I know I did something good. I have also danced since I was young, so I enjoy doing portraits of dancers and have had the opportunity to photograph many of them in the last few years. It is a wonderful blend of my two favorite things.

What advice would you give to anyone interested in pursuing a career in photography?

Always push yourself to shoot in different lighting conditions. If you shoot in the studio, it is very easy to get comfortable being able to control your lights or, if you are shooting outdoors, to always shoot clients at the same places or at the same time of day. The more you vary your lighting, the more fluidly you’ll adapt to any scenario you encounter going forward. Also, build a portfolio of your best shots and create a website to submit with any job applications. Don't be afraid to ask your fellow creators to take a look and help you refine what you have.

Describe a typical day for you at Couture USA

By the time an item is ready to be photographed, it has already been priced, cleaned, and made photo-ready. I have two different setups, one larger with a mannequin and one smaller table set up that I work with throughout the day. I use Lightroom to keep my files organized and to do much of my editing and color correction. From there, I upload everything to the website for our Online Manager to review and publish. I also check our social media and email analytics each day to see which posts and emails have been most successful in traffic and revenue. I make sure we have at least one post scheduled each day and design and send several emails per week. I can always be found wandering around the shop shooting extra images for social media, making boomerangs with our new arrivals, or asking everyone in the office for their favorite bag to feature in my next email.

Shop Lydia's Top Favorite items here:

Jimmy Choo Lilyth 100 Velvet Heeled Sandals

Versace Medusa Butterfly Sunglasses

Oscar de la Renta Floral Print Wrap Dress

18K Gold Tanzanite & Diamond Cocktail Ring

Louis Vuitton Vintage Epi Malesherbes Bag

Couture USA Team Profile Series: Photographer Lydia Challenger published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/

0 notes