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chelleztjs18 · 3 years

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Lost in Assistance - Ch. 4

Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader

GIF: I do not own this GIF. Found it on gifimage.net

Summary: Y/n is a professional celebrity's personal assistant in Hollywood got hired with two years contract to be the assistant of the famous and talented Elizabeth Olsen / Lizzie by her manager. Both Y/n and Lizzie hate each other since day one, and they have mutual friend. One is as stubborn as the other, will Y/n stay when Lizzie gives attitudes and tries her best to make her quit before the contract ends?

Warning: fluff, angst, smut (in future chapters), swearing words ( +18 only)

All chapters

Today is Wednesday but not just a regular Wednesday. It’s the day of the meeting with Elizabeth Olsen and her manager, Jane Vernon.

Your phone alarm sounds break the silence in your room slowly but sure it gets louder enough to motivate you to start the day. You woke up with mixed feelings. Excited yet nervous at the same time. You turn on some music. Sunset Lover - Petit Biscuit starts to play and you get ready. After a fresh shower, you put on just enough nude color makeup then you go to your walk-in closet to pick a close-fitting button up white shirt with burgundy stripes and black slim fit women's suit and trousers with burgundy open toe high heels that match with your nails color since it’s your favorite color. You get your side parted wavy medium length burgundy colored hair done that makes it flow down to your shoulder. You may be the type of girl who doesn’t really like to put on much makeup, but you take your hair, clothings and nails pretty seriously as well as your perfume.

As soon as you are all ready and putting your heels on while sitting on a little sofa in the middle of your closet, your phone rings. You guessed that it’s Mitchel and you are right.

“Good morning darling.” You answered as you continued to put on your shoes. “Oh wow, that's the spirit! Good morning love! Are you excited for today? Are you ready?” said Mitchel on the other end. “Well, yeah but no but also yeah that I’m all ready to go.” You replied while you took another look in front of the mirror and slowly twirled to make sure you looked good. Then you spray a little bit of perfume and you are ready to go downstairs while still on the phone. “Okay great. I will see you over there, I want to say hi to Jane. Everything will be okay. Don't be nervous, okay Y/n?” Mitchel tried to make you feel better. “Thank you Mitchel. I appreciate it. I’m leaving soon so I’ll see you there. Bye.” You grab your medium size leather purse and go downstairs.

As usual, your mom is already awake, sitting on the big living room couch. “Morning Ma. I have a meeting this morning. It shouldn’t be that long but you know Mitchel, he might want to have brunch after that but just call me if you need anything, okay? Love you Ma.” You gave her a hug and went to the garage. “Okay hun. Good luck. Love you too.”

You put on your prescription aviator style sunglasses, blast some music to amp you up started by White Lies - Odesza then start driving. The sun was up but not too bright, the traffic wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be so you arrived there a little too early.

As you walked into the lobby you saw a coffee shop so you decided to get some ice coffee for you. Just when your order is ready and you are about to grab it, you notice a familiar face whose order is ready too. It was Lizzie grabbing her order. Eye contact was caught between you two and you gave a smile just to be friendly and she replied with a nod and small smile. You recognize her even though her long dirty blonde hair flawlessly covers both sides of her face and she is wearing sunglasses that were intended to cover her face so she won’t be recognized. You both walk towards the elevator and blend in with a group of people in the elevator. You saw her pressed the floor button then she dived back into whatever she was doing with her phone. The elevator stopped on your floor, some people went out to go to other offices which are on the same floor as Vernon’s office. Lizzie went out as well but she stopped in front of the elevator to answer a phone call so she didn’t know that you both actually have the same destination to meet Jane.

After you greeted and talked to Aaron, Jane’s assistant, he informed you to wait in the waiting room. Few minutes later, you heard that Lizzie came in and was told the same thing as you were. She is sitting on the chair across you talking on the phone with her best friend about the plan to meet up after the meeting, while you are browsing on your phone and enjoying your ice coffee you can feel that sometimes she takes a quick glance once or twice at you without knowing who you are and why you are there.

“I don’t even wanna be here. I still think it’s a stupid idea to get me another personal assistant. This already made me upset to begin with and it’s just gonna make me not like this person already even though I know it’s not her fault to get hired by Jane.” She tried to talk as quietly as possible but not quite enough for you not to be able to hear it. Aaron came and told her that she can come into the meeting room. “I gotta go, I’ll see you later after the meeting. Bye.”

She hangs up then proceeds to follow Aaron to the meeting room. After what you heard, you can only chuckle to yourself knowing this is not gonna be easy work between you both. Aaron comes for your turn. “Ms. Y/l/n, they are ready for you. You can come this way.” Aaron guides you to the meeting room. You smiled and thanked him as he opened the door for you.

You come into the meeting room that has large windows around it that give natural light and a pretty sky view decorated with clouds and top of skyscrapers of L.A with the trails of the streets and cars that look so small from up here. You see Lizzie is sitting next to Jane with Mitchel sitting in front of them, parted by a big rectangle glass table.

“Y/n darling! You made it!” Mitchel came to you and gave you a cheek to cheek kiss as always. “Hi Mitch. I’m glad to be here.” You smiled.

“Come, let me introduce you to these fabulous ladies. Jane, Lizzie this is Y/n Y/l/n. She is my best friend slash the best personal assistant you are looking for. Y/n, this is Elizabeth Olsen and her manager Jane Vernon.” Mitch proudly introduces you to them.

“Nice to meet you Y/n, Mitch talked a lot about you once he knew I was looking for a professional assistant. I hope you don't mind me calling you by your first name.” While Jane offered her hand for a friendly handshake yet felt so formal, you can see from the corner of your eyes Lizzie’s jaw dropped a little, looking at you up and down realizing you might have heard what she said on the phone earlier about you. “The pleasure is mine Mrs. Vernon and yeah I don't mind you calling me by my first name” You gave a firm professional handshake and smiled. “You can call me Jane.”

You then slightly turn your head to Lizzie and her beautiful green eyes are now so easily noticeable by you without her sunglasses on. “Ms. Olsen, It’s nice to meet you.” You smiled and tried to stay professional even though you know how she feels about this meeting and about you. There is an awkward vibe from Lizzie towards you since she thinks you heard her conversation but her stubbornness about this whole thing is bigger than the awkwardness itself that made the friendly Lizzie respond a little cold to you. “Thanks, same here.” She gave you a quick handshake but you can feel the softness of her skin even though just for a few seconds.

The four of you take a seat. “So Y/n, this is not an interview because practically you are already hired because I read your resume plus the reference from Mitch here. I gotta admit, it’s pretty impressive. Lots of years of experience working in this field, you have worked with big names in Hollywood. You speak five languages and that’s another big plus. We have this meeting just so we can sign the contract and agreement. I believe Mitch already gave you the details of Do’s and Don'ts and our expectation specially from Lizzie here.” Jane explained while she was looking at your resume then slid some papers in front of you on the table for you to take a look at it.

“Well, to be honest what I wanted was actually simple, I don’t want any new personal assistant but Jane insisted on giving it a try, so here I am. So, I hope you are as great as your resume Y/n to make my try worth it.” Lizzie said it in a quite firm tone with the best pretend smile she can do. Deep down she hoped what she just said would’ve just made you change your mind.

“Ha Ha Lizzie was just joking. Isn’t she funny?” Jane laughed awkwardly and tried to give Lizzie a look about what she said.

“Is that so, Ms.Olsen? Don’t you worry about it. I hope the way I work and the way I do my job suits you.” You gazed at her eyes before you gave a fake smile. You tried to remind yourself in your mind that you respect Mitch and don’t want to put him in a hard time with his client even though Jane is a good friend of his otherwise your reaction would be different.

“This is the contract, it will be only for two years but it might be for less than that. If it does change to less than two years, there will be a notice in advance. It can also be terminated early if there is a mutual decision by both parties. All of this is written in it. It says you acknowledged and agreed with what I just informed you. You can sign on every section that’s marked X” Jane explained all the details while she showed each point. You read everything, gazed at Lizzie’s mesmerizing green eyes and gave a little smirk to her then signed each section. As you can see, this clearly upset Lizzie.

“Okay, everything is good. In this envelope, there are all Lizzie’s schedules, addresses and numbers. Plus all lists what she likes and dislikes. Sometimes you need to drive with her, sometimes you don't have to. I’m sure you know the drill, but just a friendly reminder that everything is confidential, especially all Marvel related. You can start on Friday. I guessed that’s all. Welcome to our family Y/n. We are thrilled that you joined us here, right Lizzie?” Jane finalized everything with another handshake with you and Mitchel. “Yeah, sure. Now if you guys excuse me, I gotta go right now. Sorry.” Lizzie put a tiny smile in the corner of her lips, waved goodbye then left in a rush and looked upset.”

As soon as Lizzie left and the door was closed, Jane apologized. “Ummm, Mitchel, Y/n I’m truly sorry for how Lizzie acted earlier. Trust me, she is actually a very sweet, genuine and friendly person. That’s the reason I have been her manager and agent for years, she’s like a sister to me. It’s just that she sometimes can be very determined or stubborn with what she wants or what she doesn't want and not afraid to show it but I’m sure she will slowly understand why I need to have Y/n’s help. She just has anxiety when she has to adjust or deal with new people. I hope you guys can understand.”

“Don’t worry about that Jane. I have met Lizzie and I know how sweet she is. Like I told you before, Y/n has her own way of working and don't be surprised with how straight forward she is plus she doesn't sugar coat things. She is eccentric in a good way. Right Y/n?” He nudged your arm and smiled.

“Haha. yeah sure Mitch.” You answered jokingly. “I guess we better get going. Thank you Jane. Nice seeing you as always.” You and Mitch bid farewell to Jane and left. “Bye guys. See you again.” Jane walked back to her office room.

“Mitchel, what the hell was that? Why did she act like that? On top of all, why didn’t you tell me that she actually didn’t want an assistant?!” You tried to whisper so nobody at the office heard as you both were walking out of the office.

“Yeah about that, I forgot to tell you. I’m sorry. “ Mitch squinted his eyes waiting because he was worried how your reaction was gonna be.

“You are lucky we are best friends otherwise I wouldn’t sign that contract and would’ve said NO on the spot after what she said. I already don’t like her. This is not gonna be easy.” You said it jokingly but it has a little bit of truth in it.

“Haha. I love you too!” Mitch replied happily, knowing you would help him no matter what. Both of you parted, continue with your days.

Ch. 5

#elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen fanfic #lizzie olsen #lizzie olsen x reader #lizzie olsen fanfic #elizabeth olsen fluff #lizzie olsen fluff #wanda marvel #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda maximoff fluff #scarlet witch x reader #enemies to lovers #enemies to friends to lovers #slow burn

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khhkpopfashion · 3 years

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Hi, I’m sorry, but I’m confused, what’s the fuss about Yixing (idk if I wrote that right) and Jackson? And the CCP? I’m not up-to-date, but I’m curious.

I am not asking this to offend you in any way, if I did i’m sorry.

This article sums up the boycotts & idols terminating their contracts http://cnnphilippines.com/entertainment/2021/3/26/Chinese-celebrities-Xinjiang-.html?fbclid

This is the copy paste shit i mentioned in a response to anon https://omonatheydidnt.livejournal.com/24536342.html?

About the;

uyghurs: https://www.google.de/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-china-22278037.amp

hong kong police: https://www.hrw.org/news/2020/11/19/still-no-accountability-hong-kongs-police-force

and the ccp: https://www.google.de/amp/s/www.cfr.org/backgrounder/chinese-communist-party%3famp

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shelldeleo · 3 years

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[NEWS] 210708 Fans celebrate Kim Jaejoong's return to Korean music shows after 10 years

"We've come so far": Fans react as JYJ's Kim Jaejoong makes his first Korean music show appearance after 10 years of being blacklisted

Kim Jaejoong of the K-POP boy band JYJ is making his much-awaited return to the Korean music TV show scene after 10 years of being blacklisted.

The 35-year-old was a part of the SM Entertainment K-POP band TVXQ (meaning Tong Vfang Xien Qi or Rising Gods of the East). Debuted in 2003, they were a 5-member boy band finding almost immediate success in the Korean music industry.

However, after a huge legal battle in 2009, the group eventually split into two, inadvertently blacklisting the JYJ members, who make up three members of the original five in TVXQ.

Post the legal mess and the wait to see their idol on TV, fans are without a doubt ecstatic to see Kim Jaejoong's return to screens.

📌All about Kim Jaejoong's past; JYJ vs SM Entertainment:

Back in 2009, after six years in the industry, conflict rose within TVXQ and their management, SM Entertainment. Members Kim Jaejoong, Park Yoochun, and Kim Junsu attempted to break off their 13-year contract with the label, arguing that it was extremely long, profits were not split fairly, and that they were being overworked. Shim Changmin and Jung Yunho, the other two TVXQ members, stood with the company.

The group performed together as five for the last time in Japan at the Kouhaku Uta Gassen music program on the December 31st, 2009. https://youtu.be/EASK_cNWyIg

Eventually, Jaejoong, Yoochun, and Junsu were able to terminate their contract, leaving SM and TVXQ to create their own K-POP group, JYJ (one letter in the name for each of them).

C-Jes Entertainment was formed in order to manage the group according to their needs and expectations and continues to recruit other artists as well. Changmin and Yunho remain operating under SM Entertainment as a duo, with the name TVXQ.

However, the battle did not end there for them. Due to SM's influence as one of the biggest labels in the industry, the trio was silently blacklisted from making TV appearances and was unable to circumvent it at the time.

Kim Junsu tearfully spoke about it at this comeback concert held after he completed his mandatory 2-year military enlistment:

“At the very least, when I have an album out, even if it is just once or twice, I’d like to sing my song on TV. That’s all I want, but it’s so hard."

With a net worth estimated to be around $60 million, it's a testament to how Kim Jaejoong has managed to further his career despite being blacklisted from a huge part of the industry.

Twitter goes wild over news of Kim Jaejoong's return to music TV shows

After around 10 years of not being able to see Jaejoong on screen, fans were happy when a surprise TV show teaser popped up on their feed. Kim Jaejoong of JYJ was set to make his appearance on TV Chosun's "Romantic Call Center," a show where singers compete with each other through performing impromptu song requests. Fans wasted no time in celebrating.

Kim Jaejoong's much-awaited return will be made on next week's episode of Romantic Call Center on July 15th, 2021, at 3:30 PM (IST) on TV Chosun.

Source: https://www.sportskeeda.com/amp/pop-culture/we-ve-come-far-fans-react-jyj-s-kim-jaejoong-makes-first-korean-music-show-appearance-10-years-blacklisted?__twitter_impression=true

#kim jaejoong #dbsk #tvxq #jyj jaejoong #jyj #music #kpopidol #kpop #korean #korean singer

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moneyhealthfinance-blog · 5 years

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UPDATE 1-Chile's Codelco terminates contract with Canada's SNC-Lavalin at Chuquicamata mine © Reuters. UPDATE 1-Chile's Codelco terminates contract with Canada's SNC-Lavalin at Chuquicamata mine (Adds context on contract, delays and further details on non-compliance from Codelco)

#1Chile&039s #Canada&039s #Chuquicamata #Codelco #Contract #mine #SNCLavalin #Terminates #Update

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opiatemasses · 3 years

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Professional sport: Are men and women equal?

In order to become professional in any sport there are many barriers and adversities to overcome. It’s accepted that in life nothing is given to us. However, it is important to recognise that there are many situations, specifically in elite sport where women are not on a level playing field. There are many hindrances that stop or slow down the progression of female athletes.

Women’s sport has come a long way in the last 100 years and those barriers stopping the professionalisation are slowly being chipped away. Although these barriers that stop women from being professional athletes are still very present. I aim to shed light onto these areas and spark conversation as to why and how they exist in this day and age, and what is being done to continue the progress being made for professional sportswomen.

Defining the term ‘professionalisation’:

There are recognisable criteria for what constitutes a professional athlete. All sportspeople at this level will be expected to carry themselves in a well-behaved manner. They should also display good values such as honesty, being charitable, being respectful and hard-working just to name a few examples. A professional athlete must also be committed to the position they hold, also acting in a way which embodies the position of a role model to a younger generation of aspiring athletes. There is also a financial element to professional sport. They would receive funding in terms of the kit they are provided, the transport they take to and from competition and payment on top of expenses is also a condition. They are essentially being paid a living wage to compete within the world of sport.

Historical context:

In order to understand the state in which women’s professional sport is in now, we need to understand the historical context. As stated, women in professional sport encounter many problems and have done for many years. Women’s baseball is a perfect example. Talented young women who played softball were scouted to play baseball but only given the opportunity to play professionally due to the vacancy of male athletes going to war in the 1940s. There were many examples of inequality ranging from the expected feminine appearance and etiquette of the female athletes, both when they were and weren’t competing. In addition, the wage they were given was affected, the content of the contracts they signed and all the way to the closure of the league when the male baseball players returned. This raises the issue that sport was seen to be a ‘male preserve’ and not accessible to women.

The timeline of women’s professional baseball:

The video maps out the timeline of women’s baseball in the 40s:

youtube

Sport as a male preserve:

Writing in 1986, Eric Dunning describes sport as a ‘place that serves to insulate men from wider social changes threatening to undermine their traditional, taken for granted, superior social status’. This infers that sport was seen to be a safe haven from any external inputs, and that meant exclusively keeping it a male only activity.

Barriers to professionalisation:

In modern day sport there are still obstructions for women trying to not only become but remain a professional athlete in their chosen discipline. The topic of professional sport for women is more common and more women are professional in recent times, but there are still elements of inequality that exist. Some examples of this are stereotypical expectations, pay inequality and content of contracts.

The ‘feminine aesthetic’:

Firstly, the stereotypical feminine aesthetic where female athletes are expected to look attractive and presentable and are expected to upkeep and maintain this image. An example where the promotion of this was displayed by Sepp Blatter in 2004 when he stated that women footballers should ‘play in more feminine clothes like they do in volleyball’. These comments from the FIFA president were said as a claim that these changes may help grow the women game, but those ideas were not welcomed or accepted. The article below reflects that:

https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2004/jan/16/football.gender

Pay inequality:

Secondly, pay inequality. As mentioned, a common idea of being professional is that an athlete will receive a salary above the expenses they pay in order to make a living. 50% of professional football players who are women do not get a salary, and 30% of them need second jobs in order to make a living. This is a significant problem as it will deter young girls from wanting to become professional footballers. At the elite end of professional football the differences in money is enormous. An example of this is comparing Neymar’s wage at PSG to the combined wage total of every female player in the top 7 women’s leagues. Neymar’s annual wage totalled to £32.9 million compared to £32.8 million divided by 1693 female players in the 2017/18 season. See the link below for a deeper insight:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-5117491/Neymar-wages-seven-womens-leagues-combined.html

Contracts:

Thirdly, professional contracts and what they entail. A contract is essentially an agreement between a higher power such as a club and an individual athlete such as a player. Professional women’s football does not only have differences to the men’s game in a financial & player image sense, but also with their contracts which in turn affect their way of life. On average women in elite level football are given a contract which will tie them into a professional deal for a single year, although just less than 50% of women don’t receive a contract at all. The players that do receive their short-term contracts tend to have certain clauses which can bring everything to an abrupt end, such as injury. It is not uncommon that if a professional female footballer sustains a long term / severe injury then their contract can be terminated with immediate effect. This may also apply to lower-level professional male athletes, but this would never be seen at the elite level end of men’s football, sparking the question… where is the equality? See the link below for further information:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-6422497/amp/Injured-Womens-Super-League-players-sacked-three-months-notice.html

What do these barriers promote?

Whistle blowing:

Essentially what that means is that a person is willing to stand up and make their voice heard in order to promote positive change. Andrew Goldsmith In 2015 defined this action: ‘The act of whistleblowing centres on reporting an illegal (or unethical) act by an observer who possesses inside information of the wrongdoing’. Looking at how the term ‘Whistle blowing’ in professional female sport is not only present but also key. An individual who follows the defined action of Dunning is essentially risking what little they already have being taken away from them, in terms of salary, contracts and treatment, in order to try to push further into the direction of positive change.

Examples of whistle blowing:

Retired footballer Abby Wambach delivered a speech at a graduation ceremony along-side two high profile male athletes who both had significantly a greater net worth. She took this opportunity and called on the younger generation of athletes to not only be grateful for the opportunities they are given in sport and settle, but to keep fighting for women’s professional sport to where it is considered equal to men. Linked below explains in more detail:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5768613/Former-soccer-star-Abby-Wambach-delivers-best-commencement-speech-year.html

Conclusion:

In conclusion, the path is clear on women’s professional sport. There have been many struggles in history which have carried through into the present day, in terms of the accessibility and opportunity for professionalisation of women’ sport. Although it has been made apparent from both historical and current day examples that there is a movement and belief in pressing for equality. Through the work of activists, women will never be excluded from an element of our society or settle for less than what they are worth. Both in a financial sense but in a respected sense also.

There is still a long way to go to reach true equality in the world of professional sport. But what can we do to influence change? Moving forward we as individuals have a responsibility of spreading the story of it so far, having the courage to openly conversate on this topic with people who are unaware will educate those on the message that needs to be carried forward. The topic of women’s professionalisation should be actively advocated by both genders as the aim of this conversation is to educate all about the inequality on hand. Also, those in influential positions need to utilise their platform to help increase the reach of this message, influencers have great power in our society in relation to shifting beliefs and opinions of their followers, therefore making this an effective action. The cold hard facts of inequality must be taught to the younger population so that they are more equipped to form their own opinions which in turn put them in a better position to influence positive change in the future. We need to ask ourselves as a society on a regular basis ‘what do we believe is right?’, and what we need to do about the situations that rectifying. This will ensure that our ways are never outdated, and the movement of women’s sport is always progressing. Women’s professional sport is not equal to men. Let’s change that.

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References:

Dunning, E. (1986). Sport as a male preserve: Notes on the social sources of masculine identity and its transformations. Theory, Culture & Society, 3(1), 79-90.

Goldsmith, A. L. (2015). Whistleblowing Intention in Sport: Perceptions, Antecedent Conditions, and Cost-Benefit Analysis (Doctoral dissertation).

#womens sport #womens football #womens baseball #equality #whistleblowing

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meditativeyoga · 4 years

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Pain is Your Friend: A “Painfully Honest” Messenger About Your Yoga Practice

Anyone that is struggling with chronic discomfort is already stating, "What is this moron speaking about?" Having suffered my very own reasonable share of extreme discomfort, I must state I would gladly have actually murdered that "pal" and hidden it at the end of the garden. In this article, we will certainly concentrate on sharp pain, the type of pain that might occur during your technique, or within the subsequent day approximately. We will check out the typical scenarios that might trigger discomfort, and the course of activity you need to follow.

When you experience pain, it is, in effect, your body attempting to speak with you. Possibly it's claiming that it's not delighted with the aberrant placement it locates itself in, the damages that has actually been done to it, the tension patterns that are developing, or on a positive note, that structural adjustment is happening. Usually, it is claiming, "Back the heck off."

When doing asana (the physical technique), it's easy sufficient ahead throughout pain, either during the technique, directly after, or a number of days later on. For a pursuit concentrated on balancing and opening up the body in a gentle and controlled method, it occasionally appears we are instead putting our bodies with the wringer.

I invest 6 months yearly in Goa assisting yogis with their injuries, as well as it's reasonable to state I discover it tough to discover enough time to see everybody. Many individuals come to yoga with existing injuries, intending to utilize asana as a healing technique. Regrettably, a reasonable number of us manage to injure our bodies with our technique. Ideally, as yogis, we are extra sensitive to what's taking place in our bodies, more quickly seeing inequalities, tension patterns, and pain, yet this is only possible if we take regard. It is extremely easy to obtain captured up in desiring to take our technique to the next degree, neglecting what our bodies are attempting to inform us.

Pain During Yoga Practice

Every time we step onto the floor covering, we are asking our bodies to relocate into positions that may offer the possibility for soft tissue damage. At certain threat of injury seem to be shoulders, reduced back, wrists, hips, knees, ankles, and neck (not much left). We might put stress on the joints as well as their sustaining frameworks (tendons and also cartilage material) or particular muscles or groups of muscular tissues (e.g., hamstrings). So exactly how do we interpret what our bodies are saying?

Padmasana (Lotus Posture) is the perfect yoga exercise pose, and also thus, our enthusiasm to achieve a form of the stance appears to load our ears with cotton wool. If your hip joints do not conveniently externally turn, you are more than most likely to experience discomfort in the knee (either medially or laterally) and/or the ankle (typically simply below the front edge of the side (outdoors) ankle bone). This discomfort is because of the tendons being stressed also much, as well as your body is stating, "Maintain going, and also damage will certainly happen."

Ligaments are only gently flexible, permitting for maybe only a 6 percent stretch before tissue damages happens, and they do not repair easily due to a very little blood supply. Unless your tendons are chronically reduced due to some previous trauma, there is absolutely nothing to be gained by overstretching them. Their task is to provide architectural stability to joints by limiting activity in undesirable instructions. By loosening them, you are not becoming extra versatile. Instead, you are threatening their function.

So if you discover yourself in this scenario, don't hang it out in the posture assuming that by suffering the discomfort, you will at some point open that location. You might harm on your own before you obtain there. Rather, leave it and exercise other poses that concentrate on the location where you wish to enhance flexibility. Revisit the position several weeks later on to see if it is a lot more comfortable. This is not the exact same situation as actively placing light tension on the joints to elicit a favorable reaction, such as with Yin Yoga.

In the situation of Padmasana, it is essential to recognize that a viewed absence of "openness" in your hips may not be associated to soft tissue inflexibility. It's totally feasible that inhibited exterior turning results from the construction of your hip joints. If that holds true, no amount of extending will enable you to exercise full Padmasana-- and also that's alright.

Another location of usual injury as well as discomfort is where the muscles connect to the bones using tendons (their origins and also insertions). In this circumstances, the pain is sharp. Its specific area is quickly determined.

Repeated extending near your limit of flexibility might emphasize these areas, causing damages to the tendon fibers, causing inflammation. Due to all the forward folding in yoga, a constant website for this kind of discomfort is where the hamstrings connect to the ischial tuberosity (sit bone).

If you ignore this pain, which might start out as more of a worrying inflammation, the injury is likely to worsen, become persistent, and also start to hurt not just when you're ahead bending, but additionally when you're resting as well as strolling. In these instances, you must change in order to enable the swollen location to recover. If you are feeling pain in a position, you need to withdraw until it does not harmed. This may look like usual feeling, but I bet that at lot of times throughout a yoga course, there are people just attempting to disregard some pain or various other, wishing that the later repercussions will not be too bad.

So what around when we feel an abrupt acute pain while practicing, and also it hurts to relocate the angering limb (to varying levels)? Do we plow on wishing that it will relieve? I would claim no, the longer you go on, the most likely you are to make things even worse. It is very easy for the visibility of endorphins and also the distraction of the technique to mask truth level of the damage.

The finest program of action is to quit as well as initiate the RICE protocol (rest, ice, compression, elevation) as soon as possible. If you didn't require it, no damage would be done, yet if you did, you would profit from punctual activity. The topping, in particular, will certainly decrease swelling in the area and aid decrease the quantity of damages, and the earlier it is used, the better.

When icing, never ever put the ice straight on the skin unless you are mosting likely to keep it relocating (such as with an ice massage therapy), as well as restrict the moment of application to 20 minutes for more fleshy locations (e.g., thighs) and also 10 mins for bony areas like the feet and also hands. You might ice often. Simply enable a space of a minimum of half an hour in between applications. A good indication that it is risk-free to reapply ice is that the skin and tissue have actually gone back to normal temperature. Just bear in mind icing for too lengthy can create tissue damage, especially on the fingers as well as toes-- think about frostbite.

Pain After Yoga Practice

Okay, you have a good method, and after that the following day, or the day after, you get that sensation like you've aged ten years over night. Muscle mass soreness, inflammation, and rigidity permeate your body, as well as you seem like anything however a bendy yogi. The experience might be very local, restricted to one or 2 muscle mass, or it may cover a larger area. When the angering areas are in the resting setting, you do not feel discomfort. It is just when the muscles are gotten or stretched that you experience the complete magnificence of what is happening.

This body response is called delayed onset muscle soreness, or DOMS for short. If you have actually really offered on your own a looking at, it may last 5 to seven days, however generally 2 to four sees the rear of it. The factor might be that you are brand-new to yoga exercise, yet this experience is by no methods limited to the beginner. If you have had a long term break, amped up your practice, or started doing some poses that use extra stamina than common, you may well sustain a little suffering.

So what's the cause, and also what can you do regarding it if it happens? A few of you could currently enter with "an accumulation of lactic acid," and I will certainly claim, "err, no." It is now currently accepted that lactic acid build-up might assist produce the tiredness pain connected with intense task, yet is not responsible for postponed beginning muscle soreness, as the degree of lactic acid in the muscle mass has actually been revealed to return to typical within one hr of exercise termination.

As a dual "no," lactic acid is linked with anaerobic workout. Because of the intensity of the exercise and the high power demand of the muscular tissues, the body is compelled to produce energy without making use of oxygen. Consequently, lactic acid ends up being manufactured therefore of the metabolic waste produced by this methods of power manufacturing. Sprinting might create this, but yoga exercise not a lot. (Well alright, you might feel this kind of melt in Titibasana (Firefly Pose) B, C, and also D if you have limited hamstrings as well as are striving with your quadriceps to straighten your legs. That's a "yes" for me).

What Causes Postponed Start Muscle Mass Soreness?

There is still much difference regarding the specific reason for delayed start muscle soreness, but it seems to steam down to a mix of elements (e.g., swelling, boosted level of sensitivity of nerve receptors) arising from microdamage experienced by muscular tissue fibers and the connected connective cells. This damages is more probable to occur throughout eccentric contraction (antagonizing a load while lengthening).

For example, the triceps muscles are functioning eccentrically when we lower down right into Chaturanga Dandasana (Four-Limbed Team Posture).

This pain is not necessarily all negative. Postponed beginning muscle soreness is a sign that your body is adjusting to the brand-new anxieties to which it is being subjected. It must not be puzzled, however, with repetitive pressure injury, which is a much sharper pain and stands for damages being done instead of adaptation.

Delayed start muscle mass discomfort may, in certain scenarios, also be used as a barometer of practice intensity. I keep in mind several moons earlier, in my fitness center days, that if I really did not obtain delayed beginning muscle mass soreness the day after training, I would think about that I hadn't educated hard enough because session, which motivated me to work more difficult next time. Thankfully I utilized a split regimen (different body parts on various days), which allowed me to avoid revamping the area impacted by postponed start muscle mass discomfort for numerous days.

I am not suggesting right here that you ought to lay out in your yoga technique to experience delayed start muscle mass discomfort, however sometimes it's not a bad thing. As postponed beginning muscle soreness is really felt just in the muscle mass that have been striven (either by tightening or stretching), it can actually tell you rather a lot. Say, for instance, you have made a decision that your method has been overlooking your quadriceps, so you include in some postures that you believe may make a hit. If you experience postponed beginning muscular tissue pain in that location, you can be guaranteed you have obtained it right.

On the various other hand, if your educator may have recommended you to attempt and engage a particular muscle mass when doing a particular position. Delayed beginning muscle discomfort may show that you were doing what you assumed you were. Of course, if you utilize this muscular tissue a lot already, you might not experience delayed start muscular tissue pain. On the other hand, you may occasionally get a sign that you are utilizing specific muscle mass also much.

What To Do Regarding Delayed Start Muscular tissue Soreness

So a little delayed onset muscle discomfort can be wonderful. Yet excessive, as well as we need a treatment. It may hurt to relocate your sore muscular tissues, however in fact, that's specifically things to do. Light workout, such as gentle biking, will assist ease those uneasy feelings. Light extending is additionally great, so a gentle yoga method is additionally fine. Remember: much like the health club training, if you intend to still practice strong, that's also great, yet you need to change the asanas you do so that you are not functioning the afflicted area strongly.

If you like the "unpleasant medication" training course of action, an ice bathroom will aid for certain. Top athletes often have an ice bath directly after a tough session to try to decrease the effects of postponed start muscular tissue pain and also promote a quicker recuperation. As high as I wish to claim or else, massage therapy, although extremely useful for treating many injuries, may give short-term remedy for delayed onset muscle mass pain yet will certainly not quicken the duration of the symptoms.

What About Rigidity After Yoga Exercise Practice?

I understand that I have actually most likely babbled on for far as well long already, yet right here's simply one more point. Sometimes you obtain a feeling of rigidity and soreness the following day that seems a little bit like delayed onset muscle mass pain. Possibly this limits your series of motion a little bit as well as may create aches when resting. Common websites for this kind of feeling would be the neck and also reduced back. What you have actually most likely done here is to worry the tendons because location. What your body is doing right here is tightening up the muscular tissues bordering the area that you have overstressed in an attempt to splint as well as rather paralyze the area.

Unlike postponed beginning muscular tissue soreness, where you may be ready to think, no worry, modification is underway, in these circumstances you need to check and look at what you are performing in your practice and also make changes. It could be that you are being too aggressive in your forward bends, or maybe there's as well much stress on your neck in Sarvangasana (Shoulderstand Pose) or Sirsasana (Headstand Pose). Or perhaps you're making use of a little head flick in the infamous Urdhva Dhanurasana (Wheel Posture). Whatever the cause, require time to determine what you require to do to remove the pressure you are putting on these areas.

It is usually claimed that as yogis, we can heal a lot of our injuries on the floor covering. I would claim that this is fantastic guidance, yet just if taken the right method. What it does not suggest is to keep with what you have been doing, waiting on the pain to go when in some way yoga exercise amazingly kinds it out. In my mind, what we are discussing is making use of every sensitivity you have established in your technique to figure out where the issues are emerging from and after that making adjustments as needed. Concentrate on opening those areas that might be triggering stress and anxiety to be experienced in various other areas. Most of all, pay attention to your body and also allow it direct you.

#asana #healing #meditation #Yin yoga #Yoga #yoga practice

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the-necessary-unnecessary · 4 years

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uswnt anon here! yeah like you said, i believe there must be a loophole that Press managed to make use of, but i do think that that mightve only been a temporary/short term solution. afterall, she ended up going to utah after 3 months of her second stint at Kopparbergs/Göteborg. i do wonder if Houston didnt trade her rights then, what wouldve happened (the whole Houston debacle is another highlight of how cruel the trade system is, on top of even more recent stories of players like Stengel). (1)

but i completely agree with you about the terms of the NWSL. i think it's been made abundantly clear, by national and international players (ie Asllani, Henry) and pundits alike, that the NWSL's model is doing them in. i know a lot, if not all, of us hate it when people like to chalk up the league to be the best in the world, but i believe that's just misplaced analysis because the players of best (im going off by recent results/rankings here) team in the world play there.

it's clear that the way things are run, that USSF cares more about maintaining their national team status than the proper maintenance of the NWSL. but i also do think that as long as the NWSL keeps its really weird season schedule, that the USWNT cant (excluding the actual clause that they have to play in the league) find it in their heart to leave the league, knowing how horribly wrong it can all go.

i think the draft system is also what's affecting the youth teams. the draft system takes in your collegiate athletes, and while great for those athletes, it also screws with whoever cant go to university. which is a whole other conversation about privilege but let's leave it at that for now. i think what we might have missed out on about youth development is that other countries have club academies. the NWSL doesnt have that. their collegiate athletes are their "development/youth" players when compared to other leagues. and i do think in the long run, this will mess with them since other national teams are just getting younger and younger with more investment. Harvey can be seen as the saviour of the youth teams but i do believe the reality is that the problem lies within the NWSL and USSF-USWNT system. and i think, as i believe most of us do, that so long as the system doesnt change, the USWNT/NWSL will suffer. i dont think they'll be dethroned so easily but it's not benefitting them, especially when salary caps (even though recently increased) exist for international players while the transfer market values will keep rising. we'll probably see more and more migrations like the aussies have done this season (probably the kiwis next).

i'd like to link some articles if you wouldnt mind! and i also do realise how the articles will make me look like a Caitlin Murray fan, which i am but i swear the articles of her i found to send this ask were coincidental (i mean she's one of the USWNT's best journalists so it's probably why they’re from her). (6)

here's the Press saga: amp(.)theguardian(.)com/football/2018/mar/13/christen-press-houston-dash-trade-womens-soccer-uswnt how club academies would benefit USWNT/NWSL: sports(.)yahoo(.)com/amphtml/how-wed-fix-soccer-homegrown-rule-academies-would-be-good-for-nwsl-and-uswnt-180254345(.)html (8)

a piece that highlights how being a USWNT player binds you to the NWSL with the time Horan left PSG: equalizersoccer(.)com/2016/01/04/psg-terminates-contracts-for-horan-asllani/ Hope Solo's piece on privilege of football in the USA: amp(.)theguardian(.)com/football/2018/sep/04/usa-womens-soccer-team-white-hope-solo sorry it got so long again! (9)

once again I couldn’t agree with you more! It’s true that there’s more than just them being contractually bounded to the NWSL, even if they were able to get around this USSF holds more power over them than they hold over USSF when they’re holding trophies, medals and olympics over their heads especially. Plus the summer schedule the league has does nothing to help the situation since it’s very hard to join a winter season European league for a full season or something. Obviously now would be as good a time as any to transition given the shorter nature of the challenge cup, but I don’t see this happening on such short notice for many reasons.

As for the youth team conversation, it’s the case in most of not all places that elite sport is a privileged department, but I particularly see this to be the case in the US where football from a young age, right up to college even if you get a scholarship, is really damn expensive to stay in. So I definitely agree with you that this is a very limiting factor on the pool of athletes they get. Hope Solo’s article about this too is also very insightful, stuff like “Imagine if the next LeBron James played soccer. But I don’t think we’re even looking for players in places like Akron, Ohio” proper puts things into perspective about privilege beyond just paying for training and playing but also scouting location etc. Definitely an uncomfortable and though-provoking must read.

Youth academies, like both you and that article said, are an important step on the path towards development and yet they’re practically nonexistent and unused in the nwsl. Plus I really like Murray’s point about homegrown talent rule, I think that could be really beneficial on a lot of levels if it is finally put into place. Also she mentions the difference in resources between NCAA unis and nwsl clubs like an anon mentioned here earlier, which tbh is pretty shocking to me. Like how can university facilities be more competent and welcoming than elite club ones?? The fact that some call it the best league in the world when financially it is so on edge is pretty mind-boggling in my opinion.

Thanks for the link to the Press saga too, a very interesting more indepth insight into all that mess which honestly looks like not much was learnt from. I also like her point between women and men when they are forced to play somewhere they don’t want to, since there are both less viable options and also less mega-large pay checks involved to influence their decisions. With the Horan article being more of the same about being forced back to the US for an uswnt shot, again against what she would have preferred to do in a first instance. Plus it’s interesting that Gulati actually specifically states the contractual binding by saying that “It was actually part of our contractual agreement with the women’s national team that they would play in this [NWSL] league”. I’ll leave it there for now because this is getting way too long but thanks once again for all your resources and points to consider!!

#uswnt #nwsl #futfem salaries #the asks

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bloodandfire-kennyhickeyfanfic · 4 years

Photo

Chapter 7 - Spend Some Time, Drink Some Wine... Ehem Whiskey

New York, New York August 7 1994

"Where in the fuck is my bag?" I say to myself as I stand at the luggage terminal inside John F Kennedy International Airport waiting for the little luggage carousel to push out my bag. I feel like I've been standing here forever waiting for it to pop out and each time a bag rolls by it never ends up being mine.

The meeting I had with Susan went really well and I'm so excited that she appointed me as an assistant for Pantera.

Pantera! Can you fucking believe that? I sure as hell can't. Their tour manager needed some extra help so Susan was able to set it up for me and I am so excited. I had already met with Steve Bainbrige just a few days ago and signed a temporary contract with him so that I am able to assist him for the next couple of show dates for Pantera. Type O Negative is also playing a few dates with them as well so at least Kenny will be with me and it won't be so nerve wracking.

The only time I've ever met Phil, Vinny Rex and Dime was when they played a few shows with Soundgarden when Soundgarden was opening for Skid Row. Damn, that seems like such a long time ago. Like another lifetime ago.

This is my first time doing this all on my own and I'm nervous as fuck. I seriously don't want to mess anything up at all. I'm going to try and be confident and professional and not shy and socially awkward just because I'm such a big fan of Pantera. They're playing here at L'Amours tonight so I will get first hand at what it's like to work for Pantera. I'm so fucking excited!

I glance up at the multiple clocks that were lined up on the wall behind the ticket booth indicating what time it was in each time zone, New York showing just passed 4:00PM. I called Kenny earlier this morning letting him know when my flight was in and he said that he was going to meet me here at the terminal. I just hope I hadn't kept him waiting because of this stupid luggage carousel refusing to give me my luggage. After another 10 minutes waiting and it still didn't come out, I walk over to the attendant at the luggage terminal to ask where my luggage was.

"Your luggage ticket number?" The bulky male attendant asks me barely looking up from his computer screen.

"5023" I say a little impatiently. He types a few keys into the computer still not looking at me and starts to shake his head.

"Nothing in the system with that number, what was your flight?" He says still not looking at me.

"Flight 402, the 11:00AM Seattle to New York," I say trying not to sound frustrated. He punches a few more keys and still not one ounce of eye contact. Suddenly I feel a warm hand slide across my lower back under my leather jacket and I glance up and see Kenny looking so freaking amazing in his black button up shirt loosely tucked into his black jeans and leather jacket, his jet black curls flowing passed his shoulders standing beside me.

"Hey babe," He says a little raspy with a cute grin and places a kiss on my temple, his sweet cologne tickling my nostrils perfectly.

Damn he smells so fucking good.

"Hey," I exhale, my frustration diminishing for a few moments.

"Still nothing in the system... last name?" The attendant says to me still not looking up at me.

"Um, Cornell," I clear my throat.

"First name?"

"Andrea," I say and he types some more keys.

"What's going on?" Kenny asks me.

"Trying to pick up my luggage," I say looking up at him as I push my curls out of my eyes.

"I'm sorry there's still nothing here with that ticket number," The attendant says.

"What do you mean?" I ask frustratedly.

"There isn't any luggage with that number," The attendant finally looks up at me but doesn't offer any other expression other than a straight face. I pull out my ticket and show him but he still says that there's no luggage with that number.

"So, what... it's like lost then?" I ask attempting to remain calm but the attendant still offers no sympathy or anything which pisses me off even more especially since he is working a customer service position.

"Did you purchase any insurance?" The attendant asks.

"Well no... but - "

"I'm sorry we can't do anything without insurance," He cuts me off.

"Are you kidding me?" I say as my anger starts to rise.

"Babe, hey... it's alright, Here... let me," Kenny says and moves to the attendant window and talks to the attendant, trying to be sweet at first but as the attendant still shows no empathy or anything, Kenny starts to lose it. As he argues with the attendant I try to pull him back to calm him down.

"It's policy, no insurance, we can't do anything sir,"

"Yea well, fuck your policy!" Kenny exclaims.

"Kenny, hey... let's just go," I say trying to pull him away from the window. He was getting angrier than I was and was starting to create a scene which I don't blame him but I really didn't want to draw any attention.

"Fuck you!" Kenny exclaims as the attendant smirks and shakes his head and I'm eventually able to pull him away from the window.

"I'm sorry babe but what the fuck? He fucking needs to show some remorse or something... like, Jeezus," Kenny says as we walk away.

"It's ok, just... what the fuck am I gonna do now? I only have what I'm wearing right now and a dress in here. All my favorite band shirts and my favorite jeans... and my shoes to go with this dress... fuck me, " I say frustratedly as I look down at my bag slung over my shoulder.

"Hey, it's ok babe... we'll get you something. I've had this happen to me more times than I can count... Just that fucker back there could use some fuckin' customer service training or something," Kenny says which makes me giggle.

He takes my hand in his lacing his fingers through and suddenly he stops us from walking towards the main doors. I glance up at him and he has the most sweetest grin on that boyish clean shaven face of his. His other hand reaches up and cups my face, his thumb brushing across my bottom lip and then presses his lips to mine so soft and gentle, lingering for a few moments as his tongue flicks at my top lip and then he pulls away, touching his forehead to mine. After a few moments we break away from each other as he leads me out of the main doors of the airport.

"C'mon, We'll uh... head to my place," He says.

"Ok,"

Fuck, I've missed him.

*****

A short while later, we arrive at Kenny's apartment, a small one bedroom located in Brooklyn near the lower east side. The building was part of a duplex with his apartment on the upper floor. Once Kenny opens the door, I step inside to see his living room that was attached to the kitchen, scattered with stacked Mesa/Boogie amps and a few of his guitars, a T.V on a small makeshift stand and a stereo record player set up on the opposite side of that, a couch that faced the T.V and a large reading chair to the left with a ton of magazines and scattered papers all over the coffee table and floor. It's such a guys apartment.

It reminds me of the first time I went to Chris's apartment that he shared with Andrew Wood from Mother Love Bone. Chris had it set up the very same way. Guitars and amps all over his room and a string of unfinished lyrics that you could shake a stick at.

"Sorry for the mess, I just hadn't had time to uh, you know... clean," Kenny says immediately walking over and trying to tidy up the papers.

"It's ok," I say and close the door behind me as I watch him try to find where to put everything.

"Kenny it's ok, I don't care really," I giggle as he shoves more papers into a drawer in the coffee table then flips his curls out of his face as he turns to face me.

"You want a drink or somethin'?" He asks so cutely, stepping over a stack of magazines.

"Sure,"

He steps into the kitchen and fumbles around to make some drinks as I set my bag down at the door, take off my jacket, head over to the couch to sit down and glance at some of the papers that were still somewhat scattered around the coffee table. I glance up at Kenny as his back was facing me while making our drinks and then pick up the one piece of paper that caught my attention and read a little bit of it. I didn't mean to be so nosey but I couldn't help it.

"Did you write this?" I ask cutely when he steps back over to me and hands me a Jack and Coke.

"Uh... yea, I did," He says suddenly sounding shy about it as he steps passed my to sit down beside me taking a sip of his beer and turning slightly to face me as I glance down at his scribbling. Funny, how I always thought that Peter was the lyricist and Kenny just came up with the guitar parts.

"You want me to play it for you don't you?" Kenny smirks slyly at me taking another sip of his beer.

"No, no I was just... I mean, not if you don't want to," I say getting a little flustered as he leers at me still. He takes another sip and sets his beer down, then leans over and grabs his acoustic guitar.

"It's not like... completely finished but... well anyways," He says so cutely laying his guitar across his lap and plucks a few strings. I couldn't help but grin a little seeing him get flustered and shy. I shift a little in my spot as I watch him get himself situated, clearing his throat and figuring out how to start. Then he begins to play.

"You give your love to me tonight You owe your flesh to me for life You give your body and your mind I'll fuck your warmth and your lies My lady..."

He continues to strum and the sound of his voice is so different. I'm used to him singing the small parts when he plays with Peter if Peter can't sing in that range. Here, he sounds so clean but raspy at the same time, with so much emotion that I never thought would come out of him. It's making me feel things that I didn't think I would feel ever again.

"You give your heart I'll treat it right You bring your flaws I'll give them light You know I wanna sink deep into you I'm created to love you and finally lose..."

He trails off and stops but still avoids my eyes and I had no idea what to do for a moment, but then I couldn't help myself. I set my drink down and then immediately move myself over to him take his face in my palms and press those beautiful soft lips to mine. For a moment I could tell that I startled him but then as I started to suck his bottom lip, he moves the guitar from between us never breaking his lips away from mine and responds with his tongue swiping across my bottom lip, his hands immediately going straight to my hips and up under my White Zombie band shirt, to the small of my back and further up.

Suddenly after a few moments, I had to stop myself. I have no idea what came over me or why I started to second guess myself but I needed to stop.

"I can't..." I pull away and he looks at me with those dark eyes completely confused and I don't blame him.

"You can't what?" He asks and I lean my arm on the back of the couch covering my eyes with my palm, forcing myself not to cry. I can feel him still looking at me but I can't bring myself to look at him.

What the serious fuck is happening to me?

"Baby...?" He asks slightly worried moving closer to me. I still couldn't bring myself to say anything and all I could feel was this intense feeling of fear and sadness inside me.

"This is stupid... I'm so stupid... I can't... I just..." I try to explain fumbling over my words and still holding back tears and not letting myself look at him.

"Andi, talk to me... what can't you do?" His voice is calm but still worried as he pulls my hand away from covering my face. I open my eyes to look into his, seeing the worry and concern on his face.

"What are we doing? I mean... what the fuck am I even doing? Fuck I'm not making any fucking sense," I say as I start to get angry at myself.

"Baby... talk to me..." He still looks at me with those eyes and suddenly I let everything out.

I tell him everything. I tell him how I was married to Chris, and that I still am though we are separated and haven't talked to each other since we split, other than breaking out of the contract I signed with Soundgarden which I had to talk to him then but other than that, nothing from him since March. I tell him the reason why we split which was the most difficult thing I could talk about since I haven't been able to talk about it since it happened.

"... we tried for months to have a baby you know? The whole time I thought that there was something wrong with me. Like, my body wasn't working right or something. But, then after so long we just decided if it doesn't happen it's ok. But then it did. I got pregnant and I was so excited..." I say as I look down at myself unable to look him in the eye forcing myself to keep it together.

"What happened?" He asks after a few moments though I think he already knew the answer.

"... I uh... lost the baby. She was um... she wasn't breathing when I delivered... her and..." I trail off fighting the urge to cry and I could see the look on Kenny's face that he could tell how I'm still struggling with losing her.

"...anyways after that Chris and just... fell apart. He started to ignore me and I wasn't any better since I couldn't fucking even get out of bed for like 4 months straight. I tried to make it work once I started feeling better but at that point it was too late. We had already grown so far apart that there was no going back at all. Anytime we talked to each other it just turned into an argument. He just threw himself into Soundgarden and left me alone to fight the horrible pain all by myself..."

I cannot believe I'm letting this all out. There is no way in fucking hell Kenny is going to want me after this. If I were him, I'd be heading straight for the fucking door.

"Jeezus..." Kenny exhales.

"Kenny... I'm so fucked up," I say looking away and trying to stop the tears from coming out. He reaches up and cups my face in his palm, brushing away a stray tear that rolled down my cheek.

"No... no you're not fucked up," Kenny says looking at me with those dark eyes.

"I have no idea why you even want to have anything to do with me... I mean, I'm pretty much like damaged goods here," I say looking back down at myself.

"Andi... I don't know if you've figured this out yet though I thought you would've got the hint from that song, but... I'm fucking in love with you so... if you're fucked up then I'm fucked up too,"

I flick my eyes back to his in complete disbelief. I had no idea what to even say but I also wasn't sure I heard him right.

"What?" I ask quietly.

"I love you,"

#Blood&Fire #type o negative #type o negative fanfiction #kenny hickey #kenny hickey fanfiction #peter steele #johnny kelly #josh silver #louder than love trilogy #my story

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templeoftheslavegarden · 5 years

Text

BLOOD & FIRE

Chapter 7 - Spend Some Time, Drink Some Wine - Ehem Whiskey

New York, New York August 7 1994

The meeting I had with Susan went really well and I'm so excited that she appointed me as an assistant for Pantera.

This is my first time doing this all on my own and I'm nervous as fuck. I seriously don't want to mess anything up at all. I'm going to try and be confident and professional and not shy and socially awkward just because I'm such a big fan of Pantera. They're playing here at L’Amours tonight so I will get first hand at what it's like to work for Pantera. I'm so fucking excited!

"Your luggage ticket number?" The bulky male attendant asks me barely looking up from his computer screen.

"5023" I say a little impatiently. He types a few keys into the computer still not looking at me and starts to shake his head.

"Nothing in the system with that number, what was your flight?" He says still not looking at me.

"Hey babe," He says a little raspy with a cute grin and places a kiss on my temple, his sweet cologne tickling my nostrils perfectly.

Damn he smells so fucking good.

"Hey," I exhale, my frustration diminishing for a few moments.

"Still nothing in the system... last name?" The attendant says to me still not looking up at me.

"Um, Cornell," I clear my throat.

"First name?"

"Andrea," I say and he types some more keys.

"What's going on?" Kenny asks me.

"Trying to pick up my luggage," I say looking up at him as I push my curls out of my eyes.

"I'm sorry there's still nothing here with that ticket number," The attendant says.

"What do you mean?" I ask frustratedly.

"Did you purchase any insurance?" The attendant asks.

"Well no... but - "

"I'm sorry we can't do anything without insurance," He cuts me off.

"Are you kidding me?" I say as my anger starts to rise.

"It's policy, no insurance, we can't do anything sir,"

"Yea well, fuck your policy!" Kenny exclaims.

"Fuck you!" Kenny exclaims as the attendant smirks and shakes his head and I'm eventually able to pull him away from the window.

"I'm sorry babe but what the fuck? He fucking needs to show some remorse or something... like, Jeezus," Kenny says as we walk away.

"C'mon, We'll uh... head to my place," He says.

"Ok,"

Fuck, I've missed him.

*****

"Sorry for the mess, I just hadn't had time to uh, you know... clean," Kenny says immediately walking over and trying to tidy up the papers.

"It's ok," I say and close the door behind me as I watch him try to find where to put everything.

"Kenny it's ok, I don't care really," I giggle as he shoves more papers into a drawer in the coffee table then flips his curls out of his face as he turns to face me.

"You want a drink or somethin'?" He asks so cutely, stepping over a stack of magazines.

"Sure,"

"Did you write this?" I ask cutely when he steps back over to me and hands me a Jack and Coke.

"You want me to play it for you don't you?" Kenny smirks slyly at me taking another sip of his beer.

"You give your love to me tonight

You owe your flesh to me for life

You give your body and your mind

I'll fuck your warmth and your lies

My lady..."

"You give your heart I'll treat it right

You bring your flaws I'll give them light

You know I wanna sink deep into you

I'm created to love you and finally lose..."

He trails off and stops but still avoids my eyes and I had no idea what to do for a moment, but then I couldn't help myself. I set my drink down and then immediately move myself over to him take his face him my palms and press those beautiful soft lips to mine. For a moment I could tell that I startled him but then as I started to suck his bottom lip, he moves the guitar from between us never breaking his lips away from mine and responds with his tongue swiping across my bottom lip, his hands immediately going straight to my hips and up under my White Zombie band shirt, to the small of my back and further up.

Suddenly after a few moments, I had to stop myself. I have no idea what came over me or why I started to second guess myself but I needed to stop.

"I can't..." I pull away and he looks at me with those dark eyes completely confused and I don't blame him.

What the serious fuck is happening to me?

"Baby...?" He asks slightly worried moving closer to me. I still couldn't bring myself to say anything and all I could feel was this intense feeling of fear and sadness inside me.

"This is stupid... I'm so stupid... I can't... I just..." I try to explain fumbling over my words and still holding back tears and not letting myself look at him.

"Andi, talk to me... what can't you do?" His voice is calm but still worried as he pulls my hand away from covering my face. I open my eyes to look into his, seeing the worry and concern on his face.

"What are we doing? I mean... what the fuck am I even doing? Fuck I'm not making any fucking sense," I say as I start to get angry at myself.

"Baby... talk to me..." He still looks at me with those eyes and suddenly I let everything out.

"What happened?" He asks after a few moments though I think he already knew the answer.

I cannot believe I'm letting this all out. There is no way in fucking hell Kenny is going to want me after this. If I were him, I'd be heading straight for the fucking door.

"Jeezus..." Kenny exhales.

"Kenny... I'm so fucked up," I say looking away and trying to stop the tears from coming out. He reaches up and cups my face in his palm, brushing away a stray tear that rolled down my cheek.

"No... no you're not fucked up," Kenny says looking at me with those dark eyes.

"I have no idea why you even want to have anything to do with me... I mean, I'm pretty much like damaged goods here," I say looking back down at myself.

"Andi... I don't know if you've figured this out yet though I thought you would've got the hint from that song, but... I'm fucking in love with you so... if you're fucked up then I'm fucked up too,"

I flick my eyes back to his in complete disbelief. I had no idea what to even say but I also wasn't sure I heard him right.

"What?" I ask quietly.

"I love you,"

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