#Cooking Grid for Lazy Man

[ynbabe]

hi love <3

Could I humbly request the grid (or whoever if you have a specific person in mind) in this scenario?https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT2TRnx2T/

Hi!! So glad I have TikTok now cause this req is sooo perfect. And the fact that the inspo had an f1 shirt on is so valid. Also this is a long ass post so it had to be split in two, I will be taking other reqs in the in the meantime!!

Cute situations w/ f1 drivers- ep3 pt 1 [2025 grid edition!!]

You pay for the food

Charles

“Well, well, well-” you started with a tone of sarcasm, the panicked look on Charles’ face turning to one of annoyance.

“Y/n…” he tried to reason with you but the blaring of the fire alarm drowned his voice.

Leo, who rested in your hands, who was panicking along with you when the alarm began, was now glaring at your boyfriend and his father with the same unimpressed glare that you had fixed on him.

“Don’t I remember telling you not to cook?” You cocked a brow, resting the dog on your hip like he was a human child. The whole scene would have been hilarious if it wasn’t blanketed in smoke.

Atleast the man in front of you had the decency to look apologetic, sheepishly mumbling out an apology, kissing you to hide his guilt, “can you order in, belle? I’ll clean up!”

You could only accept the offer, needing to get a now sneezing Leo out of the kitchen.

You had just finished placing the order, laying on the couch, when Charles walked in, hint of guilt still on his face, “Did you order yet, y/n? I’ll get my card-”

“I already paid,” you answered, thinking it would be a big deal, but the look on Charles’ face said otherwise.

“What? Why? Are you still mad at me?” He asked, worried and hyper.

“What- no, of course not! My information was already in my phone, Charlie.” You giggled, watching his face go through the five stages of grief.

He laid on top of you, breath tickling your neck, “well, I’m paying you back,” you had begun to refuse but Charles wouldn’t give in, “non, don’t even.” He ended the conversation.

You could only help but laugh, pulling him closer to you, causing Leo to yip in jealousy, and Charles to react before you could.

“Shut up, Leo.”

Lewis

You and Lewis didn’t often dine in, choosing to cook instead, but it had been a lazy night and neither of you were in the mood to cook or clean.

You had suggested a restaurant for delivery and Lewis had agreed, so you’d gone and placed the order. Lewis had just come back with his card when you furrowed your brows in confusion.

“What?” You asked, confused. Lewis was more confused than you were.

“Don’t you need to pay?” He asked, making you smile.

“I already paid, babe, had my info on the app.” You replied nonchalantly, but the answer didn’t seem to satisfy him.

He had an indecipherable look on his face, “since when do you pay?” He added making you scoff.

“Wha- I pay! Lew, what the hell?” You tried to defend yourself.

He playfully rolled his eyes while taking your phone, “Babe, no offence, you haven’t paid or opened a door a single day since we started dating,”, he typed for a few seconds before returning your phone to you, “there, now it’s my information,” he smiled, proud of himself.

“Just so you know I’m going on a shopping spree now,” you walked off, kissing him with a smirk on your lips, the smile on his falling instantly.

Lando

Both of you had been watching tv, the show forgotten as background noise. Somehow grey’s anatomy had spiralled into making out on the sofa like horny teenagers finally getting the house alone.

Lando pulled away, breathless, and you rested your head against his shoulder, his hand coming up to brush your hair.

“You know what would make this moment even more perfect?” He asked out, and you hummed to get him to answer.

“Spring rolls.” He answered dreamily.

You sat up, eyes blown in anger, “WHAT? Is that what you’re thinking about right now, Lando? What the hell-”

He looked at you with pleading eyes, “Pleeaaseeee, y/n?”

You huffed and rolled your eyes, much to Lando’s joy, “fine, but I’m telling Jon ur cheating-”

The look on his face was enough to vindicate you, giggling to yourself as you placed the order.

You kept your phone down, going back to the show, when Lando poked your side, looking down at you in confusion.

“Don’t you need me to pay?” He asked and you mocked anger, pushing off him to sit up.

“Need you to pay? Lando, what do you think of me? I have a job you know!” You could see him try to back peddle when you couldn’t take it anymore, a smile cracking on your lips.

“Oh you muppet, you scared me, thought u was gonna have to sleep on the sofa tonight!” He laughed pulling you back into him.

He stretched doing something out of your sight, the next moment your phone dinged, thinking it was the delivery you picked it to check but noticed a credit of 100 pounds to your account.

“LANDO-”

Oscar

There were only a few things Oscar loved more than sleep. Two of those being you and-

“Tim tams!” He whispered, groaning as he put down the bags of groceries, “we forgot the freaking tim tams.” He said in genuine despair, making you chuckle.

He’d begun whispering sad monologues about the sweet treats to himself, when you placed the order for them. Twenty minutes later when the last of the groceries were put in their place, the bell rang and you motioned for him to open the door.

“Babe! Did you order these?” He said with joy in voice, the few moments his collected nature melted away to reveal what he truly felt.

He turned to the delivery guy, “how much do I owe ya, mate?” He asked, surprised to see the man say it had already been paid for.

“You paid for these?”

“Yea my phone had my card in it silly,” you took the packet from his hands, placing it in a drawer.

“What? Why? Since when do you pay?” He asked making you raise you brow at him, “I mean- not like, I’m getting you ice cream!” He panicked, placing an order on his phone, making you laugh as you followed him out the kitchen.

George

“I’m gonna get the twenty piece,” you said out loud, placing an order, “you want something?” You asked the blonde next to you.

“Nope,” came the answer so you accepted the terms, paying for your food.

“Ugh I have to wait for thirty minutes, the fries are gonna be so soggy,” you complained, stopping George in his tracks, his wallet opened in his hands.

“Huh?” He questioned, looking at you weird.

You still hadn’t looked up, “yea thirty minutes is wayyy too long, could’ve just gone myself-”

“No like my cards here?” He continued.

That’s when you looked up, to see his confused face, card in hand, “Yea ofcourse I paid, what do you mean?” You laughed.

“Love, I always pay, you never have to pay when I’m there!” He argued genuinely concerned.

“Aww babe, it’s okay! It was faster this way,” you shrugged, doing nothing to change George’s mind.

“Nuh uh, I’m going to Apple Pay you, how much is a twenty peice? Thirty pounds?” He immediately tapped on his phone, making you laugh, folding in half.

“Baby, no!”

Kimi

“What. Is. This?” You threw your pencil down, groaning into your palms. Kimi sitting besides you wasn’t doing any better, cursing the paper in Italian hoping it’d have the decency to solve itself.

“Let’s call George, he’ll know what to do, yes?” You asked, holding your head in your hands.

“non so cosa fare!” Came his reply, his face scrunched in confusion and irritation, “Non capisco questo- co-cosa è questo?” The pushed the paper away and turned to you with a serious look in his eyes. “Tell mama I’m dropping out and jumping on the track.”

You would have reacted but your head was dizzy, “I mean why do we even need algebra, also you can’t do that your mother would kill Toto… and George,” you said as he slumped against you.

“We need food,” he muttered against your shoulder, making you giggle and lean your head against his.

“Italian?” You asked joking.

“Your favourite, no?” He replied, smirking and nudging you, making you push back, hiding your growing blush.

“Shut up or you’re not getting pizza.” You ordered and paid.

“You did the order?” Kimi asked making you hum, “you paid? Amore, I would have paid!” He jumped up. You didn’t know why he was taking it so seriously. “Mama will kill me if I let you pay. I’m a gentleman!” He claimed, cheeks puffing up.

You couldn’t help but laugh, “you’re eighteen and you can’t solve your math problems-”

“Shut up- I pay for next one!” And you couldn’t argue with the adorable boy in front you.

Pierre

“For the last time Y/n, we are NOT getting sushi AGAIN!” He yelled from across the table. It wasn’t your fault the sushi place Yuki introduced you to was amazing and so close your apartment.

“You’re acting like Lando now,” you retorted laughing at his offended face.

“Ay don’t say that! You’re my girlfriend you can’t be mean to me,” he pouted.

“Fine, we can get Chinese then,” he smirked knowing he’d complain and you were right as he muttered something about loving you and god testing him in French under his breath.

“It’ll be here soon, the sushi would have been faster though, just saying,” you announced.

“You don’t have to pay?” He asked confused with his card in his hand.

“What no of course I have to pay! I just paid-”

“Why would you pay! You’re insulting me, amour, you should never have to pay!” He insisted making you melt.

“Aww Pierre, it’s okay!”

“Non, I’m paying you back!”

“Pierre!”

Jack

“I’m getting something to eat, do you want anything?” You asked jack, who nodded no. You placed the order, waiting for it to reach.

“Here,” Jack passed held his card out, making you laugh, you guys had been dating only for a few months, still in awkward phase of not knowing what to do but it was nice knowing he cared even about the small things.

“Jack, you don’t have to pay! Besides it’s only my stuff anyways,” you tried to wave off his outstretched hand, but he was serious.

“Look, I know we don’t get to spend much time together with the races and everything…” he paused trying to articulate his thoughts, “but uh, you are my girlfriend! And I want to do to things for you!” He rushed out blushing, trying not to look into your eyes.

You could feel the heat rush to your face, it was the first relationship where it felt real, like there was something special, you couldn’t help the smile that spread on your face, “um, yeah, uh thank you, that’s really nice, I’d like that.” You kissed his cheek.

Fernando

Everything with Fernando was easy, he woke up early for training and by the time he came back you’d be up, either making breakfast or getting ready to go out. Today was different, both you had the time for a lazy day in so you ordered in.

“Nando, I’m placing the order, you want anything else?” You called across the room to where the man was busy recording one of his TikTok’s.

“No, my wallet is in the drawer,” he replied.

“Oh no need, I already place the order! It will here in twenty,” you announced making him stop in his tracks.

“You paid? Why? Are you angry?” He turned to you completely serious.

“What? Babe no! I just ordered, it’s not so serious,”

He continued through your answer, “por favour, next time don’t pay, okay? You are my wife! You shouldn’t have to pay when I’m here!”

Lance

“Hey Lance, I’m ordering in, do you want anything?” You asked sitting across him on the sofa, nudging his thigh with your feet.

He didn’t look up from his phone, placing a hand on your shin instead, “yea I’ll get a smoothie, thanks” you hummed and placed the order.

Jumping a little when he placed a card on your thigh where you’d be able to reach it.

“What’s this for?” You questioned confused, making the man opposite you furrow his brows.

“For the food?”

“Oh I already paid-”

“What? Since when do you pay?”

“What? Ofcourse I pay!” You replied slightly offended, you paid, not often but definitely did!

“Babe, the last you paid was in 2020 when I was in Italy and you were back home,” he deadpanned, making you roll your eyes.

Part 2 with Max, Yuki, Esteban, Ollie, Liam, Isack, Carlos, Alex, Nico and Gabi- COMING SOON!!

[yourstrqly]

★ . . . 𝐓𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐀 𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘, 𝐏𝐆𝟏𝟎

pairing: pierre gasly x photographer!reader

★ part one

in which pierre soft launchs his new lover with spicy pics on the gram, grossing the shit out of the drivers

rina's masterlist

liked by charlesleclerc, carmenmundt and others

pierregasly ma vilaine fille ❤️‍🔥

alexalbon gross

lilymuni shut it you orge, they're hot, young and in love (liked by yourusername) alexalbon pierre? young? did I miss something? charlesleclerc want to know what's even more gross? they couldn't stop sticking their tongues down each others throats yesterday pierregasly no need to be jealous char, there's enough of me for the both of you 😏 charleswifey I want to be her !! Imagine dating the hottest besties on the grid 🤤 yourusername pierre wtf

charlesleclerk didn't expect to wake up to this 🥴

pierregasly uploaded a new story!

landonorris really mate? my eyes 😭

pierregasly I'm just appreciating my gf and enjoying my time, no need to cry about it landonorris man here are kids on the app and you're posting freaky shit. doesn't y/n say anything against it? 😩 pierregasly just keeping mon coeur satisfied 🐶 + unfollow if you're too young and innocent lan :) landonorris 🖕🏼

pierregasly good girl with a dirty mind is for sure a keeper. Je t'amie ma vilaine fille ❤️‍🔥

(Pinned comment)

yourusername je t'amie aussie hot stuff. there's no one I'd rather spend my life with 💫

danielriccardo next thing we know they're married and try for a kid alexalbon arent they already trying for a kid at this rate lmao pierregasly 😁 charlesleclerc WHAT 😁?? PIERRE ANSWER YOU TEXTS RN OR IMMA THROW HANDS NEXT WEEKEND

landonorris nothing too sexual? you good guys? 😳

yourusername we're going to filming a sex tape in your drivers room when we get the change. you'll be the first to receive it lan &lt;3landonorris dont you dare y/n or i'll shun you 🤨 yourusername fine, then I don't have to cook lasanga for your lazy anymore :) landonorris no worries, do what you want but please make me lasagna or malai kofta 🙏🏼😔

[kaleidoscopek9]

ALRIGHT-

SO

I've had this list of headcannons just sitting in my notes app of my phone and I wanna put it somewhere so 👀

(These are heavily inspired by what I could gather from the skele boys in @bonelyheartsclub! I just threw in a few of my own.)

-----------*

Sans

- Does a LOT of stargazing and has quite a few space-themed knicknacks and clothes in his room. He's got a telescope too!

- Dad jokes. Any time is prime dad joke time. He's never let an opportunity slip past him.

- He's an absolute prank master. You're considered lucky if you happen to avoid the ones he's planted around the house like bombs waiting to go off.

- He's cryptic as fuck. Always giving half-true answers to every question. Occasionally he may slip up and give you a brutally honest response, but that's only with the people he trusts most, and he finds being open to be very difficult.

- He's constantly referencing memes and vine quotes from days of yore. He practically has a database of every meme ever in his head, and he doesnt let it go to waste.

- Cuddling with him is basically a one way ticket to nap-town, and you constantly find yourself waking up to him smooshed against you on the couch after dozing off. For being a skeleton, he is a surprisingly comfortable snuggler.

-----------*

Papyrus

-So much baking and cooking. It's his favorite past time, and the kitchen never smells the same when he's done making whatever he's making in there (it's 12 times out of 10 pasta) And while his cooking may be sub-par, you never say no when he asks you to try his latest dish.

- He's always up to go shopping with you. It never matters where. Malls are his favorite, especially the big grand ones with fountains and huge windows. He makes it a point to bring spare cash because you KNOW he's going to ride the mini marry-go-round even if he can barely fit in the seats.

- You two love to binge watch cooking channels. Always discussing which foods would be the most fun to make, writing down recipies, and having a hell of a time trying to pause the show at the right points to get all the information down.

- Papyrus is notorious for game nights. He's always pulling out boards and cards that you've never heard of before and never starts a game until he's absolutely certain you know the rules. Winning of course, is always his prime goal when it comes to games, but if he senses you're on a particularly rough losing streak, he MAY slip up. Occasionally. Just enough so you can win a game or two. Or five.

-----------*

Blue

- Hyper as all hell. You give him a reasonable dose of sugar or caffeine and he could power an entire city for a few hours without breaking a sweat.

- If he had been in high school, Blue would have been a theater kid. He's always humming a tune from a Broadway show or Disney movie, and he's got a pretty good collection of songs on his brother's Spotify playlist.

- This guy will blast Steven Universe music at full volume he has no shame.

- If you are ever driving somewhere with him, an aux cord is a MUST. Singing in the car is a very frequent thing with you two, and you'll only get out after the song is over.

- He likes cryptids! Mothman is his favorite and he firmly believes he exists somewhere.

- He's your workout buddy. If he manages to drag you to the gym with him, that is.

- Blue hates seeing you down in the dumps, and is always trying to cheer you up with his quirky puns and jokes to get you smiling again.

- He'd be the best motivational poster ever. Whenever he picks up that you're going through a rough spot and falling behind on self-care, he knows just what to say to put the spark back in you again.

-----------*

Stretch

- Radiates goblin energy.

- A goddamn meme lord.

- He's made two or three widely known viral videos and nobody knows it was him.

- You need someone to go to an anime convention with? Stretch is your guy. He's god awful at planning stuff out, but he'll make sure you both have a good time, no matter what happens.

- He's really big into nerd culture, and he DMs for a dungeons and dragons game every week.

- He'll occasionally smoke, but he doesnt have lungs, so he does it more for shits and giggles than anything else.

- As lazy as he seems, he is very reliable. If he knows it's something important to you, he'll get it done. Chores though, he's a lot more iffy with.

- He really likes bees.

-----------*

Red

- Talks big talk, but he's actually a huge softie.

- He's basically a big pillow with sharp teeth that can curse.

- A nervous wreck.

- His brother shops at Hot Topic. He shops at Spencer's. Very convenient.

- He's a pretty big flirt and throws out little compliments and things to butter you up from time to time.

- If you take Red into a Dave and Busters he will win the most expensive prize at the booth in about 2 hours. (He knows how to cheat at every single game)

- He's a competitive gamer, and has a pretty impressive following on Twitch.

- He can go from loud and brash to quiet and insecure in a matter of moments, depending on the situation.

- He loves to bake, although it's something he will never be caught dead doing.

- Comfort is not his strong suit, but he will defend you without a second thought.

- He can be a little clingy and will text you now and again to ask what you're up to, just to ease his mind.

-----------*

Boss

- Professionalism is his game.

- The walking embodiment of Hot Topic.

- He loves to listen to rock and screamo music. He's also got a thing for Disney villain songs.

- You need some punk biker or vampiric goth fashion advice? Boss got ya.

- Skellator Man.

- Out of all the skeletons, Boss has the biggest ego.

- He hates admitting he's wrong. He would rather DIE than admit he's fucked up something.

- "I am not nice-"

- He could kill a man with his high heels.

- If it's got spikes he'll probably wear it.

- Tsundere. Tsundere. Tsundere. Tsundere. Tsu

- Did I mention he's a cold blooded tsundere.

-----------*

Nox

- Small angery man.

- He listens to a lot of classic and instrumental music. He finds it very sophisticated.

- Wakes up obscenely early in the morning. Always followed by a cup of the most bitter coffee on the planet.

- Comes up with the best insults. He could roast someone so hard that they'd dissolve into a pile of soot. He could glare at you and you'd cease to exist. He's that good.

- WILL step on you without remorse.

- Threatens to kill someone on a daily basis.

- Very rarely has spare time for himself. He's always keeping busy doing something.

- Loves dark, dry humor. A child falling off a swing will have him laughing for a good five minutes.

- Has a stone cold poker face.

- He might have a softer side to him. You may never know because of the walls he's built up around him.

-----------*

Rus

- He absolutely adores animals. He volunteers at the local animal shelter and plans on adopting every single dog there.

- Rus has a massive sweet tooth. Donuts are his favorite, and you can easily bribe him with anything sugar coated.

- A road trip master. You put him in a camper and he knows exactly where he's going and what he's doing.

- "Going off grid, fuck yeah- I pull out my credit cards and shred 'em."

- Hiking, camping and geocaching are some of his favorite things to do. He loves to explore the wilderness and it's like he has a built-in compass for finding his way.

- His ideal date is going to a Wal-Mart and causing absolute chaos by riding bikes around and tossing all of the inflatable balls from their displays.

- Cryptidcore energy.

- Rus loves watching Buzzfeed Unsolved and ghost huntings. He's a big fan of Supernatural and Stranger Things, too.

- Stutters and slurs his words a lot. He's got some speech impediments from the gold canines in his mouth.

- A bit lacking when it comes to social skills, but he can be extremely caring and sweet.

-----------*

Ash

- Very soft-spoken and awkward. He doesn't get much social interaction and is still figuring some things out.

- He's very self-aware of the wound in his head. Whenever he has to leave the house he wears some sort of hat to cover it up.

- Practically lives in his garden. He understands plants more than he does human beings, and he spends time daily tending to whatever he's growing.

- Him and his brother are both vegetarians, and the smell or sight of meat makes them both feel sick to themselves.

- Has trouble sleeping due to his reoccurring nightmares. He will often sit in his garden late at night to help calm himself.

- Radiates soft energy. He would absolutely give the best hugs out of all the skeletons.

- Very touch-starved. Physical affection is something he rarely recieves, and he probably lingers with touches a lot longer than he should.

- Unintentionally makes God-teir jokes without realizing it.

----------*

Poplar

- Very well-educated in a lot of things. He really likes stocking up on useless factoids and making up his own just to mess with people.

- He answers Jeopardy questions with concerning accuracy.

- He enjoys going out to eat, and he's always up to try fancy foods.

- He likes photography and reading. He is well into the Harry Potter series.

- Poplar is prepared for anything at any time. A lot of stuff doesnt phase him at all, and it's difficult to catch him off-guard.

- He's willing to try anything new, once.

- Always willing to help out with schoolwork if he thinks you're seriously struggling with it.

- He's always carrying around small planners and notebooks to write in so he can keep track of things.

[ethercxls]

( zayn malik , cis man , he/him ) was that DAMIEN KENSINGTON taking the stairs ? the 30 year old INVESTMENT BANKER has lived in APT 5G for SEVEN MONTHS. i heard they’re pretty NONCOMMITTAL, but some say they’ve been FLIRTY. they’re pretty well known for UNMADE BEDS, LONG NIGHTS THAT SEE THE SUNLIGHT & MIDNIGHT FOOD TRUCK RUNS. / /  HONEY

a british national with dual citizenship because his mother and father never married. a few years after he was born his mom ran back to the us bc she was a free spirit and his dad was… not. his dad was the son of a son of a son of a son who ran a powerful investment banking company and damien was expected to follow suit.

because of his father’s means, he got custody of damien. their life was never great, damien was raised by nannies and grew up only seeing his mother and eventually half siblings in the summer once a year.

his father put a lot of pressure on him and damien always played it off. he’s not serious, he’s a playboy who prefers to live life fast and hard. but if he wants his trust fun, he has to at least appease his father.

five years ago when his father opened up a new branch in nyc (they had previously closed due to downsizing), damein jumped at the chance to move to the us. he ended up meeting a girl that his dad and a business partner set up him with and was forced into an engagement. that lasted two years, and it was hell the entire time. damien is not a one woman kind of man, but he was faithful because he does have a good heart. but the night before their wedding, she cheated on him. he literally walked in on her and his best friend.

after that, damien sort of fell off the grid. he worked remotely and visited his mother often (they lived in upstate ny at the time)

then seven months ago his father told him to stop being a baby, get back to work, or be cut off. damein is great at self preservation, and he obeyed.

he’s a party boy, surface level seems like he has no cares, responsibilities, or really emotions. he likes it that way.

deep down he’s still hurt that someone cheated on him, someone he didn’t even love, but was willing to give a good life because it would please his father. he refuses to let himself even entertain the thought of settling down again, and is a frequent one night stand man.

he doesn’t make the smartest decisions, he indulges in illegal things, but he doesn’t care. damien is actually a great investment banker and he works hard then parties harder. think wolf of wall street basically. but his job is more making decisions on what stocks to invest his client’s money in than selling stock.

hobbies wise he loves to cook, and honestly if he could do anything in the world that he wanted, it would be to become a chef. he’s pretty good at it and specializes in several different food types. his favorites are italian and french. he’s basic. he also loves french baking, but it’s not his forte.

personality wise, again, a goofy fuck boi. easy to get along with but you may not know him completely for a long while. he’s pretty closed off and doesn’t want to let people in so he rarely does.

a broken babe, truly. hurt by the people he let in, and kept at arms length by the man who raised him. he’s far closer with his mom and half siblings than he is his father and he’s pretty sure his father sees him as another investment than a son.

so yeah, boy will be great for no strings hook ups, he’s hetero and a bottom bc he’s lazy and likes to watch her do all the work, and maybe some party buddies. i’ll have to see chemistry and interactions to know if anyone would work at becoming a new friend for him or on their way to besties, but he def won’t have anything like that now.

he also cooks so we can have some people who he cooks for, like that would fit into the starting to become friends thing. he’s not boastful about his cooking but when he thinks he’ll get along somewhat with someone then he would invite them over for dinner.

[bbqtek]

PORCELAIN STEEL WIRE COOKING GRID FOR LAZY MAN, ARKLA, CHARMGLOW, FALCON, KENMORE, OLYMPIA AND STERLING GAS GRILL MODELS

Fits Compatible Lazy Man Models:  LM210 Series

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[grillpartszone-blog]

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[voyeuristicvixen]

Captains Log N. 34_That’s Amora!

Amor Productions is in full effect and we have extended our inspirations and ideas to include more. We changed our last name to Amora which is Wav’s original last name but our company will still be Amor Productions and our videography work is put out under [Studio19] .. Its been a blast, and we actually have been getting commissions and inquiries and thats super cool. I never would have imagined that I would have a thriving business with my partner in this way where everything just flows seamlessly and without too much conflict. We just work well together! One thing I have some fears about is having equal recognition. In the art world, women are not really heard or seen on that level especially in filmmaking. We are barely pushing to make a place. I remember in RL film school I had a cinematography class that was hands on, and my teacher was a black woman and I was so very proud to be learning about how to set up lighting and wrap cables by a woman that could be my aunty. Theres something super special about it. Sometimes it so happens that Wav gets praised more for the work we do together and that can sting because I feel I put a lot of energy and time in to set the foundations and build the sets and make things happen but I am not appreciated for it. Most of the time I just annoy him with my work ethic because im always pushing us to start the next project to do the next step lmao. But I guess thats how it go! The great men of the world have all had the woman pushing them that we have yet to learn about... I am still grateful to have an opportunity to create and enjoy the work I do anyhow!

We are working on the next episode of Meta Love Talks. I have been pushing to get this done for weeks now lmao ! I found the spot I got us all set up figured out the lighting and everything. Its just a matter of getting Wav to get in gear. The man just loves to sleep!I get that rest is important I am just in a cycle where I want to make so many big dreams happen and I been sleeping on myself and my talents for too long!! I am the Taurus one but somehow he gets all the rest lmao.

We had a talk about this today and chopped it up to programming. I have been programmed by women who have had to do everything themselves. From my great-grandma down to my big sister, every woman in my family is single and self-sufficient. They have no time to rest.

All my life I was told that rest is lazy, that I myself was just a lazy girl and that growing up in America made me that way. In Africa girls start to work and cook and clean in the household from the moment they can walk and talk and hold things. They are peeling onions first thing you learn is to peel onions... 4/5 years old and peeling onions lmao. I am at the age where I don’t want to feel like a disappointment and resting makes me feel guilty af!  Thats the programming in my DNA and family thats also got us all messed up but I digress thats for another blog..

We been getting into Beyou and all those Sims SL huds that turn you into a sim lol. They are something I have always seen on the grid but never got into. My old SL life was very much that of a free love hippie, I just stayed on the commune, was naked half the time and DJing all kinds of freaky events like orgies and shit. We just lived super free and at peace and it was like nothing else on the grid anywhere. I never had the lifestyle of having a home, and family etc. This is really like a reflection of my rl too because back in the day my rl was crazy reckless too and now im at the age where settling down is the vibes. SL has always been my manifestation tool. If you understand how this reality is made of frequency, energy, and vibration you will see how technology is just an extension of nature and can be used for magicks or alchemy which is a science.

Of all the huds Beyou seems to have the most options but Mystory is the newest and most updated and is reasonably priced! Xeolife was one we were using before because I was obsessed with the Mystory cooking components. That was all I knew and used for a while! Storii Darkheart recently made a new Mystory hud thats like xeolife and beyou ! I like mystory, it is something new and theres affiliate scripts available so creators have more free range to make objects that will work with that hud. That for me is a big W. I want to make something for it for sure. Right now I am using both mystory and beyou those are my tops. Xeolife I was only using because of mystory anyway so I don’t really have any other use for it anymore. We’ll see what happens! Get the new Mystory HUD : http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Fresh/210/70/23 (Its on the wall in the supermarket!)

Wav got frustrated as hell with the beyou system ngl lmaoooo XD sometimes its easier than others to get the food on your plate but I think its a pretty difficult thing to manage with scripts and the fact that you can rp like you are serving food is TOPS. I dont care that it messes up sometimes because when it works its impressive to me lmao. Plus they have African dishes and that for sure will win me over everytime. The only issue I had is that the peanut butter stew was vegan like WHYYY -_- It gotta be with beef or chicken at LEAST! Lmaoo

THIS WAS THE MEAL THAT GOT BAE OVER IT THE DAMN TURKEY NEVER SERVED FOR HIM LMAO! Thats when I showed him the mystory, I need to get his hud installed for him so that we can try that one together next. I hope that they eventually add skill levels, being able to share items and little details like the beyou hud has that make it more interactive like professions and being able to get marriage certificates and adoption papers etc. That all just adds to the sparkings of joyssss ^^ so far though its really impressive i gotta do another post on that!

Speaking of sparks joy, all my favs in one picture.... sleep in my office these two are always chillen in there with me haha. One thing this pic does not capture is the million cats that Bae has, he loves these little kittens and they always causing ruckus in my divination bowl lmao. Its the cutest thing tho. I love me some adorable chaos that ends in sweet snores. <3

I have been really enjoying the Beyou markets and exploring them and what they have to offer. This place had a great pharmacy that was giving goth vibes and when I went upstairs I found this woman in the loony bin. It was comfortably unsettling. Loved it.

Our first beyou fire, chillen in the living room... living by the beach during winter is super cozy because the air is crisp salt and the wood fireplace smell mixes real good with it. Its our version of winter frost. We always have pluto.tv on it is my favorite thing to watch when I just dont know what to watch and want to channel scroll. I always find something good that I never would have looked up by just scrolling pluto. On SL that site works really well because its live TV it syncs up for the most part with everyone so you all see the same thing at the same time. That is a big plus.

Now we been getting more consistent with Gridlife and just enjoying each other and ourselves. Its been nice. I really feel like somehow it helps me feel grounded with ttasks im trying to do when im just chillen in SL at the same time. Bae has been asked to be apart of a dope as Afrobeat festival I am very proud of him and happy for him. It will be dope asf! Im like lowkey a bit sad because I wasnt asked to join or be apart of it and I feel somehow entitled to be because im African because Ayra Starr follows me on IG and we’ve known each other before she blew up... because I grew up listening to and dancing to African music and being bullied for being African in school.... I felt like I should be apart of it... but alas, not everything is for me to join. The way I grew up, my background or knowledge does not matter if someone dont want you to join theres nothing you can do! *cries internally*

The face I am making here during this meeting with the dude on his plat says it all. I will just stay in my lane and do my lil thing. Whover sees my light sees it and whoever dont, dont. Ima support Wav regardless in everything he does and I am more than happy doing it because he deserves the recognition and the praise just as much! I build with him because I believe in him and his talents and his ideas. Thats how our love go. <3

A wild Foxey, bothered & black, but keeping it pushing anyway. XD

[johncookewrites]

The world around a fire.

You probably know the marmot as the furry star of the movie ‘Groundhog Day’. In Mongolia, they play a slightly different role when someone suggests a barbecue.

The nomadic herders of Mongolia have a very distinctive way of cooking one of these oversized ground squirrels (or a goat if it’s a big party). Essentially, it means super-heating some stones to go into the stomach of the animal to cook it from the inside, whilst a blow-torch takes care of the outside.

Not your average family barbecue.

But then, that’s the point of the recent Australian documentary ‘Barbecue’. It takes in the very many different ways that people in a dozen countries apply fire to all kinds of meat.

Smoking, searing, burying in fire pits, stuck on skewers, fired by gas, wood or charcoal, marinated, basted, rubbed, chicken, brisket, whole pigs, steaks, ribs, chops, sausages………it’s all here, a rich, delicious symphony of diversity spun around a universal theme.

No matter what their method, I felt an instant connection with these cooks. Especially when the familiar South African ‘braai’ (our term for BBQ) appeared on-screen, full of beer-fuelled, full-gutted white guys cooking coils of boerewors sausage, and entrepreneurial, black street-food braaiers serving up cheap, charred meats to passing township commuters.

This was the barbecue tradition I grew up in. And I had to grow up quickly.  My Dad left us when I was ten, and so I became our household’s braaier. In the little Cape Town house I shared with my Mum and two dogs, I had a man’s job to do, and I relished very minute of the ritual.

At least once a week, I’d collect the wood on the hill above our house, stacking it in our roughly-made stone backyard barbecue, then lighting the dry leaf kindling and watching the flames build and build. Adding thicker and thicker pieces of wood till the night lit up with yellow flames.

It taught me the patience to wait for the coals to be just right, with the slightest coating of white dust, and absolutely no naked flames. The test was whether you could just about hold your hand over the fire for a second or two.

Then came the magic moment when you carefully placed the metal grid holding the meat in place at just the right height above the coals. The rising sizzle and the smell of spitting fat confirmed all was good in the world.

Just like the fire-wielding citizens of the world in the film ‘Barbecue’, even at the age of ten, I had my beliefs on the right way to get things cooked.

The best fuel was definitely rooikrans (wattle tree), or vine stumps if you were lucky, no fire lighters should be used, only one person could turn the meat, you didn’t criticise anyone’s bbq technique, and if you should need to damp down an unruly flame, it should be with beer, not mere water.

This was a very conservative world: gas-powered bbq’s were maybe ok for making camping breakfasts, women stayed mostly in the kitchen making salads, charcoal was just about acceptable if you were a bit lazy or pissed, and a half-oil barrel on four legs was a much better bbq than a fancy Weber.

There was definitely something primal about it all. Stripped-down and basic. That approach all came to a beautiful conclusion, late one summer’s day on a deserted beach near Cape Town. Friends had been diving amongst the Atlantic kelp-beds and emerged from the freezing waters with a couple of rock lobsters for supper. It was not exactly legal, though someone said it was ok to consume what you caught if it stayed on the beach.

We conjured up a quick driftwood fire, split and cleaned the lobsters and cooked them on the shell, directly on the coals.

We ate with our fingers, picking out the white, briny flesh from the tails, then breaking the legs and sucking out the elusive slivers of muscle, sweet and delicate. My idea of heaven.

I just wonder what a marmot-eating Mongolian would have thought, if he’d seen us there, down on our haunches in the warm sand by our seaside fire, all sunburned, half-naked, salt-skinned, sucking the last morsel of those crustaceans from our fingers?

We all grow up with our different traditions, especially around food. As a child you believe it's the right way, the better way, the only way.  Until you slowly learn it isn't. 

One man’s marmot is another’s rock lobster, you might say.

[mst3kproject]

Short: A Case of Spring Fever

MST3K featured a number of movies, such as The Starfighters and last week's Squirm, that were simply not memorable.  They also did a number of movies and shorts that were deeply memorable, but for all the wrongest possible reasons.  Mr. B Natural was one of those, and A Case of Spring Fever is another.  Both were intended to be whimsical and each, in its own way, ended up being fucking terrifying instead.

The point of A Case of Spring Fever is to explain how springs work and how essential they are to daily life – particularly to automobiles.  Our hero, I guess, is Gilbert, a man whose wife wants him to fix the couch before he goes golfing.  When he complains that he never wants to see another spring again, a cartoon imp called Coily the Spring Sprite appears and grants his wish.  Gilbert quickly realizes that things like his watch and car won't work without springs, and begs Coily to restore them.  He then becomes a sort of spring evangelist, and spends the entirety of his golfing trip prostelytizing to his increasingly annoyed friends about how useful springs are until they never want to see another spring again!

The film is meant to be light-hearted and educational, and possibly to sell us cars, but it lends itself immediately to dark and horrible interpretations.  Mike and the Bots spend the short and the subsequent skit about Mikey the Mike Sprite wondering how the rules of this universe work.  Does every man-made object have a little pixie waiting to snatch it away from us?  Have such creatures existed from the dawn of time, anticipating that they will someday be discovered, or did Coily (I'm so sorry) spring into being with the invention of the first spring?  Was it only Gilbert who was suddenly spring-less, or did everybody else, too, find their watches stopped and their mattresses bounce-less with no explanation?  If it was everybody, was that everybody on Earth, or did it extend to aliens who could theoretically visit us and bring their springs with them?  Would it be possible to make another spring after Coily took them away, or would any new spring vanish as soon as it was finished?  What happened to the Law of Conservation of Mass as all spring-shaped matter just vanished from the universe?

People would think of questions like these no matter whether the short itself were successful in entertaining and educating us, but the fact that we dwell on them illustrates that it is in fact a failure.  Did anybody spend The Lord of the Rings wondering whether Saruman used to be gray and had to be killed by a Balrog before coming back as Saruman the White? Well, actually, yeah, I'm sure somebody did (it may have been me), but those people's friends probably (definitely) told them to shut up and watch the damn movie.  The film itself was more interesting and entertaining than such questions.  In A Case of Spring Fever, the questions distract us because the short can't hold our attention.

(I do know how the Maiar work, by the way. Please don't feel like you have to explain it to me.)

But that doesn't tell us why A Case of Spring Fever is so memorably distressing.  I've seen weirder stuff on TV than Coily the Spring Sprite and it didn't stick in my mind like this short does – and some of that was supposed to be messed-up.  What is going on here?

The most obvious thing is Coily himself. You don't forget Coily.  He appears as a little cartoon helix with curly lines for arms and legs and a head that looks like it belongs to a bad-tempered Christmas elf.  When he speaks, it's in a squeaky, grating old man voice.  Every time Gilbert realizes some springless device won't work, Coily appears and shrieks “no spriiiings!” in a mocking tone before vanishing again, until our hapless protagonist is forced to take back his wish or go insane.

Coily is neither well-animated nor appealing in appearance.  His gestures are repetitive and he never really looks like he's part of the environment – perhaps he's not supposed to, since he does represent an outside, supernatural force, but it's more likely that the animation was just cheap and primitive.  At least some effort was made to make sure the actor playing Gilbert looks in the right direction.  I think Coily was meant to be cute, but his long nose, pointed ears, buck teeth, and spiteful expression are almost demonic, and his attitude definitely so.  There's something downright nightmarish about the way he pops up to mock as Gilbert grows ever more frustrated.  He is literally torturing his victim into compliance.

As Crow observes when he asks how this all fits into 'God's plan for us', Coily is also a very pagan little bugger.  In ancient Greece and Rome, people believed that both natural and man-made objects had their own guardian gods or spirits.  Iuturna, for example, was the Roman goddess of fountains, and Ianus the god of doors and gates (Wikipedia lists Fons as the god of springs, but they mean the water type).  One of the ways early Christianity tried to discourage worship of these gods was by portraying them as demons.  Coily, a spirit with a restricted area of responsibility, who must be appeased with devotion or else will lash out and punish people, is just such an entity.

Scholars in the Middle Ages wrote books about the complex hierarchy among the legions of hell.  I wonder where Coily fits into those.

Even more disturbing is how the encounter with Coily changes Gilbert.  We don't get to know Gilbert very well, but the brief glimpse we have of him is of somebody impatient and a bit lazy, eager for an excuse to avoid his chores and go play golf.  When he takes back his wish for no more springs, the film cuts abruptly from Gilbert in the car to Gilbert under the sofa again, which could be interpreted to mean that the last few minutes were only a dream... but then we find Gilbert utterly transformed.  Rather than relaxing and enjoying the golf game, he spends the entire afternoon telling his friends about springs, giving even more examples of their ubiquity and usefulness than we already got from Coily.  He doesn't act like somebody who just woke from a nightmare.  Instead, the nightmare seems to intensify as Gilbert loses his own personality and identity, leaving only an obsession with springs! It seems that Coily has brainwashed Gilbert, or perhaps even possesses his body.  That would explain why he suddenly knows so much about how springs work and the many other areas of life they are important to.  He has become a puppet under Coily's control, spreading the cult of springs for some dark purpose.

I'm kidding.  I think.

Another source of unintentional horror is how A Case of Spring Fever reminds us that our society takes a lot of important things for granted. The lives of first-world urbanites revolve around a number of services that could theoretically be pulled out from under us at any moment. Running water is a good example – when I was younger, the water main on the street where I lived broke, and my family had to get our water from a tank truck at the end of the street for a few days while they fixed it.  During that time basic things like cooking, washing, and even using the toilet were of course far more inconvenient and time-consuming than we were used to and you can bet it made us appreciate how much we take water for granted... until about an hour and a half after it came back on.  Electricity is probably an even better illustration: we don't realize just how much our lives depend on it until the power goes out and we're left not knowing what to do with ourselves until it comes back on.

It's not possible for every single spring on the planet to suddenly evaporate, but things like electricity and water can.  A large solar flare could theoretically kill the power grid over huge areas and the damage might take weeks or months to repair (as those who survived Hurricane Sandy can attest).  There are places even in North America where infrastructure problems have left people without clean water for years – Flint, Michigan is only the most famous example.  Not to mention those of us who are dependent on medications or some other survival aid that makes contemplating the zombie apocalypse way less fun.  The world humans have built for ourselves is fragile, and we don't like being reminded of that.

A Case of Spring Fever is something the Brains had kicking around for quite a long time before they found an opportunity to use it – they referenced it in both Viking Women and the Sea Serpent and Bride of the Monster.  These skits couldn't have made much sense to the viewers who hadn't yet seen the short, but the host sketches often didn't make much sense anyway – it must have been a relevation when A Case of Spring Fever finally aired.  I suspect they put it in front of Squirm because they knew they were being cancelled and this was their last chance to get it on the show.  I'm glad they did.

I can think of a few other shorts that manage to be fucked-up and fascinating enough that I'll probably end up reviewing them.  Days of Our Years (appearing before The Amazing Transparent Man) comes to mind, as does Design for Dreaming (from Twelve to the Moon).  I may even try to track down the entire runs of things like Radar Men from the Moon and Undersea Kingdom, though I'll probably be sorry I did.  Wish me luck.

[bbqpartsfactory-blog]

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[lpdwillwrite4coffee]

CHILDREN OF LILITH CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Pulling a menthol cigarette out of his pocket and placing it between his lips, Twitch jogged down the front stairs of his apartment. He took a long drag, sauntering onto the sidewalk, joining the throngs of foot traffic.

He had fully intended on doing as Griffin had said and stay out of sight for a couple of days until things cooled off. But a very loyal customer had called him, in desperate need of a bump up, begging him to make the trip to Tribeca. Twitch was out the door the second the guy said he’d pay him extra for his trouble. Plus, he could never deny a friend in need.

Skirting around a woman with a stroller, he hurried to make it to the bus stop before he missed his ride. The skin on the back of his neck tightened and paranoia gripped him. Enough run-ins with the cops taught him that if it felt like you were being followed, you probably were.

Chancing a look over his shoulder, Twitch scanned the crowd behind him and caught the eye of a beautiful petite Asian woman with long black hair. He flushed and glanced away, puffing on his cigarette.

Something was still off…

He turned again. This time the woman was flanked by a surly hulk of a man with a closely shaved head. They wore similar outfits- black shirts over dark denim jeans and heavy shit kickers, topped with black leather jackets. The only color between them came from the woman’s blood red earrings.

The man adjusted the cuff of his jacket, flashing the inside of his wrist…

And the distinct tattoo of an Aligned Vampire.

Shit.

Twitch’s body ignited in panic. Dropping his cigarette, he cut across the sidewalk and ducked into an alley. He ran past piles of wet cardboard and metal dumpsters, searching for a way out or place to hide.

He only heard the strong gust of wind before something sent him careening into the wall at his right. His yelp was cut off by an arm hooked around his neck, taking away his air supply. A cold hand pressed against the back of his skull, shoving his face into the rough brick. His eyelid caught on a sharp edge and blood trickled over his lashes.

“Scream, and I’ll snap your neck,” the female’s voice snarled next to him.

Twitch gaped, trying to inhale, and he jerked his head in something as close to a nod as possible. The woman loosened her grip only enough so he could breathe.

“We hear you had quite the morning,” she whispered against the shell of his ear. “But now it’s time to pay the piper.”

Throat working convulsively, he tried to swallow the saliva that had built up in his mouth. His legs quaked under him and he heard the other Vampire chuckle darkly.

“We’re going to go for a little ride, okay sunshine?” The female yanked him away from the wall. “Tie him up,” she said, shoving him in the direction of the male Vampire. “And gag him. I don’t want to listen to any pathetic whining on the way back. Dealers always whine.”

* * *

Moments after he’d finished his phone call with Griffin, Amsterdam had found a discrepancy in one of the texts. It was only a few lines, but that was enough to make him question the validity of both books. Reading it over, it looked like the shift came from a lazy translation of one of the Arabic words for death. In this instance it could mean either demise or fate.

And those were two very different concepts.

Amsterdam scrolled through his contacts and dialed Mary’s number. He couldn’t give Nikki a definitive proclamation about her condition if there was even a fraction of uncertainty. And if Mary had any more insight, now was the time to give it.

…If she would answer her phone.

“Has everyone decided they’re against phones all of a sudden?” He grumbled, hitting the end call button. “They’re actually a very useful invention perfect for communication. Back in my day we had to use men on horses. Or pigeons.” Midway through typing out a text he paused and scowled. “I’ve become one of those people now, haven’t I?”

Cleopatra meowed, eyeing him from her perch on one of the barstools.

“I can do very well without your input, thank you,” he muttered, finishing the message and pressing send.

There wasn’t an immediate response, and instead of standing in the middle of his living room staring at the screen of his cell phone like a fool, John paced into the kitchen and began brewing a fresh pot of coffee. He was choosing between two different Charlie Brown mugs when he remembered something he’d read in one of his other volumes, before he’d acquired this newest and more problematic text. He rushed to his dining table, rifling through the stacks of paper and other heavy books in search of the one he needed. He fumbled with a leather hard cover and only then realized he was still holding the two mugs in his left hand. When had his multitasking skills diminished so much?

“I must be getting old,” he said to himself. And then he snorted.

Setting the cups down, he found the correct book and flipped through the pages. It was an account of several nomadic Hunter tribes coming together as a council, but as told from the perspective of one of the Hunter’s children. Not exactly a perfect eyewitness, but John was reminded of a phrase concerning beggars and choosers, so he didn’t complain.

He scanned the jagged scrawls of the little girl’s handwriting, trying his best to decipher the French. Directly translating the entry onto his notepad, John underlined the important piece of conversation the girl had had with her mother.

“I asked Mama about the man who burns. She said he does not really burn, not like I do when I touch a hot cooking stove. She said it is part of his gift- that it is very powerful, but does not hurt him. I asked why they call him Luminous and she said it is because of his insides… They are like a flame that does not scorch. He is not overcome by it because he is strong…”

The girl diverged into discussing the differences in clothing, giving hints that at least one of the tribes was from Romania, but near the end of her entry she called the “man who burned” King.

That man’s symptoms, for lack of a better word, were similar to what Nikki described herself. Add to that the comparable use of ‘overcome’ and ‘overtake,’ and the pieces were fitting together in an eerie fashion John hoped meant something.

Rereading his translation, he blinked.

“Oh my God,” he said to no one. “Oh my… God.”

* * *

Serena lifted her hand to knock on the heavy office door, but Alexander’s voice interrupted her.

“Come in, Serena.”

I guess pretense isn’t a priority today, she thought, twisting the knob and stepping into the room.

“Hello, Alexander.” She beamed a cheerful smile, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

Her Sire cast a glance over the papers he was reading and tilted his head. “What do you need this time?”

Jutting her bottom lip out, Serena widened her eyes, feigning innocence. “Why would you think I need something?”

“Because you never come to my office unless you plan to leave with something.” He reclined in his chair, turning his attention back to the documents in his hands. “So what is it you’re hoping to get this time?”

“Alexander, I’m hurt,” Serena pouted. “I only wanted to talk. You are my Sire after all. I do care for your well-being.”

He hummed but didn’t look up from his reading material. Biting the inside of her lip, Serena strolled towards the window, tracing her finger over the glass as she stared out at the city below.

“I met Caroline,” she said as nonchalantly as possible. “She seems lovely. Very pretty.”

She glanced over her shoulder, expecting Alexander to respond, but he stayed silent.

“And she works for City Hall? That’s a demanding job. She must be intelligent.” Serena turned to look across the steel and glass skyline. “Beauty and brains- it’s a rare combination.”

“I’ve found it’s actually quite common for beautiful people to be intelligent,” Alexander mused. “The rarity is finding someone who is intelligent and cunning.”

“And is she?” Serena asked, staring at his faint reflection in the window. “Cunning and intelligent?”

“Very.”

“So she’s an asset as well as a plaything.”

Alexander’s head shot up. “Caroline is not a plaything,” he snapped.

“But she is an asset,” Serena said, facing him.

“Every Familiar is an asset Serena,” he said tightly. “That’s why we have them.”

“So the rumors aren’t true?”

Alexander frowned, laying his papers on his desk. “What rumors?”

“That Caroline is being groomed to be your next progeny.” She said it matter-of-factly, hoping to quell the burning anger in her gut.

“Who have you been discussing this with?”

Ignoring the question, she continued. “What with everything going on, causing a stir with this kind of thing might not be best.” She pushed away from the window sill and strode to the drink cart to the left of the room. “Personally, I think bringing a new member into our pack might unsettle the others. They’re only just beginning to trust us- you, I mean. You don’t want to spook them.”

Pouring two fingers of gin into a highball glass, she searched for the tonic water, well aware of Alexander’s heated stare at her back.

“This is your opinion based on a rumor?” Alexander asked.

“And from observation,” she said, topping her drink off. “I saw her with you, I understand the appeal. But perhaps bringing a human into the fold right at this particular time isn’t a very diplomatic choice.”

In the silence she sipped from her glass and slowly twisted around. Alexander’s stare had gone cold- colder than she’d ever witnessed in her lifetime.

With a voice made of black ice, he said, “As undiplomatic as my choice may or may not be… At least Caroline isn’t a Hunter.”

Every nerve in Serena’s body short circuited and her mind cut out like a power grid had exploded. She was surprised she didn’t drop her gin and tonic.

It took her a moment to catch up but by then Alexander was already on his feet.

“Did you really think I didn’t know?” He asked, stepping towards her. “You thought I was so blind I couldn’t see what you were really up to? Your sudden interest in pursuing O’Connor and Nikki, not to mention how utterly clumsy of an attempt to murder him that fire was. You thought that was discreet? Really Serena, it was like you were directing a Broadway musical. You thought no one would put the pieces together? Even Nicholas knew you were fucking O’Connor, did you really think you could keep it a secret from me?”

Serena’s fangs extended in a fear response and she closed her lips over them. The ice in her glass clinked louder and louder, confusing her until she realized it was because she was shaking.

Alexander advanced, predatory eyes locked on her. “You disgrace me, your Sire- your Blood Father- by allowing the Hunter King to sully your body, and then have the audacity to come here and condemn my choices?” He growled.

She backed up, knocking into the drink cart. “Alexander, please,” she whispered.

He lashed out, striking her across the face with the back of his fist, and blood gushed in her mouth. Serena fell to the floor in a terrified heap, spilling her drink all over the carpet. Raising herself up to her hands and knees, she cautioned a glance up at him through the mass of blonde hair that tangled in front of her face.

“Never beg from me again,” Alexander bit out.

Squatting down, he leveled his stare on her. Something close to sorrow welled in his eyes as he ran his fingers through her hair, brushing it away from her forehead. His thumb stroked her bloodied lip and he licked away the red smudge from the pad of his digit.

“I remember witnessing your first kill,” he murmured, caressing her cheek with the back of his knuckles. “Your father, mother, eldest sister… You massacred them all.” He twirled a lock of her hair around his index finger. “You were exquisite.”

Tears blurred her vision, but Serena refused to look away, still trembling as he pet her.

“You had such potential,” he said. “But you squandered it. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I spoiled you, allowed you too much freedom.” Holding her chin between his fingers, he gazed at her. “But then you went and spread your legs for a Hunter. And then you couldn’t even kill him to save your reputation.”

Serena swallowed the bitter mix of gin and blood. “Would it have been my reputation I was saving, or yours?”

Alexander smirked. “There’s only one failure in this room, kitten.”

Her anger turned to frost, cycling through her body with each slow pump of her heart. He was calling her a failure, a disappointment, a mistake. He was abandoning her. After everything, he was tossing her aside and moving on. To Caroline, his beautiful, perfect Familiar.

“I just want to know why,” Alexander said, tipping her head back to expose the tender underside of her jaw.

“Why?” She managed.

“Why you didn’t slit O’Connor’s throat when you had the chance,” he said, dragging his nail down the length of her neck for emphasis.

“I…” She flinched, waiting for the impending pain of her skin being torn open. “I couldn’t.”

“Why?”

She inhaled raggedly. “Because I loved him.”

Alexander gave a dark chuckle. “We’re not built for love Serena,” he said. “We’re made to possess. To break things apart and recreate them in our image.” He released her without leaving a mark. “I thought you knew that.”

Standing, Alexander smoothed the wrinkles from the front of his suit and headed back towards his desk. Serena watched as he walked away, glaring up at him. She felt sick.

“Do you call her kitten too?” She asked, words dripping with vitriol. “Or is she special enough to have her own nickname?”

Alexander looked at her, his brown eyes darkened with what could be mistaken for sadness. “No Serena, you were my only one.”

Were, Serena thought, eyes dropping to the carpet. Past tense.

Alexander wasn’t going to replace her.

He already had.

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