#Coz I thought after all I'd done

[luv-iya]

Warning ⚠️ long post ahead

So it's a void method I tried...nd successfully entered the void though I didn't manifest anything coz I was so lost in the relaxation..

I'm gonna name this method as

TEM aka third eye method

So I've made this method and pls don't attack me if my method is similar coz this one I have came up on my own...

Step 1: lie down in the position you want.

Step 2: next imagine yourself surrounded by the light (any colour your can imagine that gives you peace)

Step 3: after you are done imagining yourself surrounded by light just think how would you feel when you wake up with your results (to boost your confidence)

Step 4: imagine you a gate that looks like an eye in front of your eyes.

Step 5: imagine yourself walk-in through the gate when you enter it COMPLETELY RELAX YOURSELF YOU ARE IN VOID...even if you can feel your body surrounding don't give a damn about it

Step6: the moment you enter the enter you enter void there is no going back even if you feel ur body surrounding just trick your mind to think it's an illusion and you are in void.

Step7: ignore all the symptoms you feel coz you are void you're calling the void from "within" so you cannot fail.

Step8: when you reach void affirm for your desires

Step 9: remember there is no failure even if you can feel your surroundings just have faith that when you open your eyes you've your desires.

And I'd recommend you to do some meditation or clear your thoughts just focus on your end goals .

Pls- I'd like to thank @rosellesworkshop @viol3tlavender @voidsuccess @cyberfeeelings for thier motivation it did really helped me a lot.

Remainder!!!

Pls you u can hv your desires without void too don't be desparate just think you are entering void for your own calmness. Because that's what actually matter.

MOTIVATION!!!¡¡¡

The moment you wake up from void you have your desires...so what's more big motivation than this......

Tysm for reading this~

Happy manifesting 🫧

-Iya ✨

[filmnoirsbian]

Sorry for the interrogation you've been getting in the asks! I noticed you liked Pearl and wanted to ask why? I haven't seen it (and probably won't) but I really hated X, mostly for its surface level examination of the themes presented (and also perhaps coz i don't like the old-woman-as-monster genre) so i was wondering if Pearl really is better?

Ok so I actually had a very similar opinion on X the first time I watched it, highly influenced by the fact that I watched in a theater filled with teenagers who kept laughing and making disgusted sounds any time the old couple were intimate, which made me feel like the film itself was trying to say "ohhh isn't old people wanting/having sex gross? Aren't old people gross and scary?" And so I did not like it at all despite the film itself being really well-done. Then I watched it a second time on my own after reading/hearing some very poignant reviews, to see if I'd just missed what they were talking about. And that really changed my mind! I really enjoyed X and disagree that it was trying to say "aren't old people scary?" (Though I understand leaping to that conclusion in a genre that does that a lot! I did too.) I think the actual fear is aging. It's targeting the fact that so many young people are deathly afraid of getting older. And I also like what it has to say about sex in horror, and who gets to have and enjoy sex, and why sex is so often a death sentence. I like that all the sex workers are fully developed people and, unlike the seminal slashers, none of them "earn" their deaths by breaking the slasher fairytale rules (don't be rude, don't enter uninvited, etc. Very similar to regular fairytale rules.) so their deaths feel very unfair, which is the case! It is unfair! We're never allowed to just revel in their deaths because we've gotten to know them as people with hopes and dreams and they've done nothing to invite this tragedy upon themselves. I enjoy horror movies that break their own rules (Paranormal Activity 3 is a good one for this) when it comes to who "deserves" their death, which automatically makes you consider who ever really "deserves" their death according to horror, and why.

All that said, Pearl is very different from X and I do think you can like one without liking the other. Pearl says what if the girl next door thought she was in a dream-chasing musical and didn't realize she's actually the villain in a slasher?

[mrs-monaghan]

Hi just dropping by to say that jk is the gayest gay to have ever gayed and people who think he's straight are delulu thx bye

Gay JK. Let's talk about gay Jungkook during SEVEN. 😂 Josè Ochoa on YT is the one who pointed this out when he reacted to the MV but did u see JK twerking? On the official MV? 🤭

No, but listen. Wbk that this man looooooves to twerk. I mean....

He's done it in another official MV before...

I love this one sm but I really wish Jimin had noticed 🤭

Straight Jungkook shamelessly twerking for his man. I wonder if he's done the same for Jimin in them Calvins 🤔

Moving on... this is definitely a favourite of mine. Mans proper vibrates on fucking stage like what!?!?! 👁👃🏽👁 That's hetero JK for ya 🤭

How many straight men do you know who twerk this much? C'mon now. 🤭🤭 And he's good at it too! 🔥

Anygays, that's exhibit one. He he hee... Okay for what I'm about to say next, I'd like to remind people of this post I made. I know it sounds like I'm joking but birch, I'm damn serious. 😒

Disclaimer: The following is just what I noticed. You don't have to see what I see. Please form your own conclusions.

Also warning: my friends hated me for showing them this but I had way too much fun with it and now u get to suffer too 🤭🤭🤭 sorry not sorry 😂

So here we go. More proof of gay JK. Our lovely Kookie did awesome on that performance video and I have been enjoying watching and rewatching. So this is something I picked up on. 😂🤭 Once again I'm so sorry 🙈

When watching for the umpteenth time i noticed JK checking out Mr. Beard thrice here. When I tell you I was shooketh 😳 I can't see hot beard's ass very well but JK sure can 😂😂

When I showed this to my friends, one of them told me about black guy here. JK checks him out too when he sings every hour. So she was like; its part of the choreo Shaz stop it! And I was like okay. 🙌🏽

But as i continued to watch the video, guess what happened? Mr. Beard is now on JK's other side when it happens again!! Here he checks out hot beard guy when he sings Tuesday and then does again at the end when he sings seven days a week.

Now hear me out 🙌🏽 I'm not insinuating anything. Y'all now I'm deep in this Jikook shit. I'm just saying JK was checking out hot beard dancer. Which is no bd of course he's just looking. People joke around and call JK Jiminsexual because while we have seen Jimin thirst over other people here and there, we have never seen JK do this. Ever. Even other members like RM, Suga, Jhope and V have all been caught in 4k. But all these years and JK we have nothing. The only person we see JK checking out is Jimin. So forgive me if I was fascinated. 😂😂 Especially coz it kept fucking happening. I mean look at this!! When he runs back his eyes are on beard dancer's ass as he sings night after night 🤭🤭 Lastly, there is a part where JK shakes his dancers hands. Now watch him shake the other dancer's hand first, (i think its Brian) then watch him shake beard's hand and then smile back at him.

Why was it only Mr. Beard that got a smile? 😡 I don't think i like Mr. Beard and I hope he gets fired 😂😂😂🤣 Guys, I just thought this was really funny is all. And fascinating if I'm being honest because this isn't the norm for JK. Or maybe I'm just a nut job that need to go to bed.. who knows? 😆

Oh wait, hold up.

I just realised something. If Jimin watches this and sees what I see then JK will definitely be in trouble. Now, they've been at this xes thing for 9 years so JK should be a pro by now, right? So maybe the times when he's limping is because he gets punished for misbehaving and so Jimin goes a bit harder than usual which prevents JK from walking properly?

Or sitting down. 😳

I cracked the case y'all. 😂😂

Anyway anon.. what a long winded way to agree with you. Yes. JK is super gay! Like, super, duper gay. 💯

[thephantomcasebook]

What do u think of the theory going around that alicent will poison aegon for killing rhaenyra?

I think these writers may actually do it and i hate it so much. They should have kept the book ages of alicent and rhaenyra coz rhaenicent is a terrible disservice to alicents character. Even if she hates her son for turning out as he did she was the one who put him on the throne and he is pretty justified in killing rhaenyra to avenge his sons and his family and if alicent does love rhaenyra more than her own children i must say i will hate her so much.

I actually liked how it was going till she said you'll be a good queen part to rhaenyra. I mean after aemond was brutalized and rhaenyra wanted her son to be tortured and her tongue to be lost?? No love no matter how deep will survive such a betrayal. Alicent should have cut rhaenyras entire arm with glee instead of feeling all guilty about it.

While olivia is a great actress...she doesn't understand her characters values which would be mainstream for that time period.

I think if book!alicent meets show!alicent she would be embarrassed by show! alicent being so cavalier and forgiving about all the wrongs rhaenyra and viserys did to her. I wish they show women to be ruthless like cersei more.

I think Cooke is probably moist at the thought of it.

But I doubt 100% that GRRM would ever sign off on that. Like I said and put up the proof of all night, the Rhaenicent shit was made up by Sopchnik's wife and Olivia Cooke, it is not something the writers wrote - Emily Carey confirmed that months ago.

GRRM has also said many times, from all the way back in 2018, that Alicent nor any of her children are gay. Rhaenyra is the only one that had - rumored - casual flings with possibly Laena in the book - but that was when she was young and before she was married to Daemon.

Once more, GRRM's policy with characters is that there isn't secret gays. If they're gay he'll be right on front street about it.

However ...

If by some grievous insult to GRRM's dearly departed memory, they do that shit, it'll be like Season 8 of "Game of Thrones" X 8000.

I'd legitimately lose my shit and fucking swear off "A Song of Ice and Fire" forever. Not even "A Dream of Spring" would save me from my apathy if they do that. I'd look at the entire franchise the way I do Star Wars right now ... the thing that I literally grew up with. No, scratch that, it'll be worse than Star Wars. Cause, at least with Star Wars my love for the George Lucas movies and shows remains untainted. With ASoIaF I'd be totally done with the entire franchise.

If Alicent isn't full "I'm gonna put Rhaenyra's head on a fucking spike" after "Blood & Cheese" and what happens to Helaena and Jahaerys (a grandson that she is incredibly close too in the book) I'm gonna be extra pissed and really start to dislike Alicent. It would be an assassination of her character if she's still carrying water for Rhaenyra after the murder of her grandchild.

I mean, in the book, after Criston is killed trying to rescue Alicent, she goes full Old Testament on Rhaenyra when she threatens Daeron. That's how much she loves her children - especially Daeron! My guy is kicking the shit outta the Blacks, Rhaenyra is losing the war, Daeron is the fucking "Oncoming Storm" from the goddamn constelation of Kasterborous that is making her Dragonseed riders piss themselves, and still Alicent goes full mamma bear when Rhaenyra threatens her baby. It doesn't matter that she's her prisoner and completely at her mercy. She is not gonna tolerate even a slighted look at the mention of her boys.

Its what triggers the Brothel Queens incident in the first place.

God, Nonny, now you can almost make me see this nonsense!

A goddamn Olivia Cooke and Sara Hess Dog Water, Tom Foolery, special! Where Rhaenyra is sitting the Iron Throne and Alicent is standing beside her on the platform like her queen - so regal and perfect. And they're just so fucking fierce and strong filled with Virtue and Goodness that is sparked by their matching chromosomes! And the realm would be in a utopia of peace and fruitfulness under this Girl Boss reign of Matriarchy ...

But, no, the evil Daeron Targaryen and his blood thirsty she bitch dragon Tessarion is coming to claim his poor and wilting flower of a beautiful mother *Gasp* *Pearl Clutch* Poor Alicent who only wants to be with her gay lover so they can take rides on Rhaenyra's dragon and touch rainbows! But no, the evil patriarchal system that this monster Daeron "The Daring" represents is coming for them and their forbidden but true Lesbian love! *Swoon* *Faint*

Ugh, shoot me!

Just fucking shoot me!

Everyone knows that Larys kills Aegon II in order to create chaos so that they he can hedge his odds in the power vacuum to come in the Regency of Aegon III and Jahaera.

[beltransadie]

I ended up finishing another one (but it's pretty short). Admittedly it's just a side project I thought of during Christmas break, and I only ended up including what I initially planned. (Which is only up to the first verse).

Admittedly, this isn't the one I started right after I Won't Say I'm In Love, but more so something on the side that snowballed into a finished state (because I needed a break from the angst).

It's not the whole song, so there's not much art to add as preface. Here are the only fully colored frames in it.

And a sleepy Wanning.

Considering the references, the animatic covers up til chapter 80ish but it's not really spoilery anyway. I talk gush about stuff below. (I talk about what I referenced in here so if you don't wants spoilers for the animatic you should go check it out >.>)

"Can't count the years on one hand that we've been together."

That's literally it. That's what started the idea. That alongside the song's snappy beat made me think of 1.0 and how the way he just "hates" Wanning whilst looking out and seeking his attention.

So, to put it in a way, the animatic is more like: I hate you, but I'm still into you. (Even considering his past with the person)

Also this storyboard is just funny, him being confused while counting out how long they've been together. (I guess that's a spoiler in a way, gahah).

In the actual finished piece, the title is included in the background as if it's a part of the set piece which I find absolutely silly and decided to go for it. Just watching that sequence taken seriously is... gets me every time lmaoo.

----

The transitions

I want to talk about the transitions for a bit, it was in the storyboards alongside (what I'd like to call) the funny turn around coz it's literally a spinning shot of ranwan I considered to be kind of daunting coz those shots are hard.

(Look I know height diff in the storyboard, but I googled a bit and I found out that 1.0 and CWN are almost the same height)

Also those full body pics ended up being used a lot in that sequence, pretty neat though considering back views are hard.

The animation in the middle ended up being a video I greenscreened because my video editor started lagging with the frames. (it ended up being for the better because I added another track later on.

My cousin made me a pretty collage using the two full bodies and the other frames from I Won't Say I'm In Love and I ended up using it as my wallpaper xD.

And it's also said cousin who improved the 4 shots before the zoom in by making the sequence more funny and exaggerated. Arguably that zoom in shot with the background opening up into another shot...

My favorite really. The background are two black halves of the screen and the full bodies are both on separate layers and they're all animated to zoom out to give the impression of the camera zooming in.

From the storyboards, I initially planned it to be a bamboo grove in Red Lotus Pavillion transitioning into Mo Ran tying up Xia Sini's hair with the bamboo as foreground, but decided against it as 1.0 was not aware of Xia Sini's identity.

Instead, I opted for another favorite scene in chapter 75 with CWN saving Mo Ran in Peach Blossom Springs which also has this passage I really like.

(smithereens) He really got shooketh there.

The next scene stayed the same as planned and is the moment in chapter 32 where Mo Ran is grumpily feeding Wanning medicine, which then transitions into the funny turn around scene.

The frames transitioning from their first meeting to the New Year together was something that ended up developing later on. (I love the New Year frames, I love how Mo Ran's eyes light up as he looks at Wanning, I love how the fireworks are falling in the background and how the golden light is reflected off of Wanning's eyes—)

The spin sequence wasn't as hard as I expected. But that's probably because I've done it too much I kinda know what to do?

---

Last Additional Stuff

I think most of what I wanted to talk about is just the transitions and the spin around. The title at the start too as well as Mo Ran acting like a little shit. Also pointing out how I keep forgetting how his hair clip is supposed to be on his left lmao.

It's not definite yet, but I'm kind of considering expanding it somewhere in the far future. Closing this off with a Mo Ran cut out.

[matan4il]

So, it's just a funny story for exhausted shippers I have been seeing lately. Honestly, I'd like to buy you all Gatorade and power bars for doing the heavy lifting all these years.. So here's my story to maybe give you hope.

I watched season 1. Fine, it was good. I'm happy to turn on 2. The moment Eddie was introduced to what a man, while Buck stared at him, I literally groaned. My husband asked, "What's wrong" and my only reply was that an army of shippers was just born.

Full disclosure after that, I hated shipping them. I actually anti shipped them because listen, I have seen this story before, and I didn't like the ending.

So begin seasons of my husband looking at me every time they were on screen just to see me roll my eyes. I explained so many times that it's ridiculous how much they are giving shippers who probably won't get a payout. Worst, yet that dick (I love him, mind you) always turned it into a joke. Random times, he would just quip what do you think Eddie and Bucks' wedding will be like? I swear he's an amazing man, don't judge!

So when Anna came along, I was actually relieved. Like this solves my shipping problem. But I disliked her so. Worst, I lost all Buddie and Christopher goodness, so I then regretted my eye rolls.

OK, so then Taylor was back. Maybe this could fix it for me for a few reasons. I yes disliked Anna and Eddie. However, Buck is my favorite, and when she came back, well, I always viewed her a bit like Bucks white whale. (Between you, me, and the igloo, I will also admit.... I always thought Anna made Buck sad). So here is my insecure boy. Shit went down with Albert and the neighbor girl. Eddie was occupied with Anna. So, OK, I can deal with this because yeah, Buck, you won...... But you can guess it..... I hated it!!!

Honest, I wasn't even sold it was gonna happen after the lasagna dinner. I just don't see any way the story doesn't end up Buddie now though.

My main point is this. If you are a bummed anon because you think the showrunners are trying to squash Buddie. Well, they have done a really shitty job if so. Here I am reluctantly waiting after 5 and half seasons..

Hi Nonnie!

LOL I absolutely love this ask, ‘coz trust me, I get it. We’ve all been there, we’ve all seen same sex ships that we knew would never become canon. We all know that even outside the same sex, it’s always a risk, loving a subtextual ship when it comes to the question of whether it would go canon. And that’s the place you were coming from, right? You were anti-shipping them ‘coz you thought they would be terrible together, you were anti-shipping ‘coz you didn’t want to get invested in a couple that you’d never get to see actually going canon. And the fact that Buddie won you over in spite of that says everything about their power as a couple, and as a family unit together with Chris. It’s so heartwarming and beautiful, it’s worth shipping despite the risks. So thank you for sharing your journey! I enjoyed (and laughed) reading about each of the stations along the way, and I’m so glad to know that you joined us! Yep, if the showrunners keep getting everyone to this place, sometimes kicking and screaming against their will, that has to say something!

Thank you so much for this, hope you have an amazing day! As always, here’s my ask tag. xoxox

[outcastpack]

1. 5. 9. 14. 19. 21. 24. 26 :)

OK let's do this 🫂

1. "I wanna drown in an Ocean of you" this one's pretty self explanatory and also one of my fav songs rn

5. Fic idea I've had but will never write.

I'm not sure really I think the fic idea I had that was for the name of my profile. Theo and his outcast pack because the base idea kept changing and ended up with completely different ideas.

9. Do you write everyday. And share a sentence if you have.

I do. I try to do atleast 500 to 1k if im in work next day at 5am but my 2/3 days off i try to hammer out as much as I can as a goal coz really wanna get the fic done and get it out for everyone to see. Plus people's encouragement to parts have helped push me to try.

Here a snippet sentance from today.

A pair of familiar arms wrap around his back pulling Liam away from his jealous thoughts. “Hi pretty boy.” He feels Theo’s lips mumbling against his ear, his breath tickling Liam’s ear.

14. Which of your fics would you like to see get a visual adapdation like into a comic or film.

Hmmm this is a hard one I'd have to say either Pokewolf AU, Mafia/Assassin Theo with Thief Liam or Thiam as Jasher.

19. Small teaser from a WIP.

Well since I'm only actively working on one fic once again here's Thiam as jasher. And plz don't kill me this is kinda a pivotal part of the boys plot (Some of you already know)

Liam wakes up. His head pounding and the sickly feeling in his stomach. “What the fuck did I drink?” He wonders in his head. The light peaking through the curtain blinds makes his head ache and the pain in his head increases. Movement to his left makes the boy freeze as he only then realises the line of heat at his side, seeing the outline of a figure. Slowly becoming more aware of his surroundings makes him realise something else.

He’s naked. The person next to him is also naked.

Moving closer he realised just who the person is. It’s Olivia, his ex, his best friends twin sister. The pain in his head intensifies and he feels the bile forming in his throat making him run for the bathroom, uncaring if he wakes the girl in the process. Reaching the bathroom he immediately throws up, emptying his stomach. After he has finished and is sure nothing else is going to come up it hits him all at once in flashes. Him and Liv getting drunk together. Her spilling the vodka over him and slurring causing him to lose his shirt. Olivia whispering in his ear to have some fun. Him slamming the girl against the wall and dragging her to the bedroom. Clothes being ripped off. The moans in his ear.

He only then realises the nail marks on his back and line of hickeys on his neck. He feels ill, how could he do such a thing. He had wanted to get home and talk to Theo instead he apparently got drunk and had sex with his ex. Thinking about Theo triggers another memory of the night. Darting for his phone which had been tossed on the floor with his jeans. Clicking the screen on and praying, hoping he didn’t do what he thinks he did. Right there is a voice mail to Theo from him.

Oh god what the hell did he say, what has he done.

A moan of pain from the bed pulls his attention reminding him of his next problem. What the hell should he say to Olivia? What the hell is Mason going to say?

(DISCLAIMER TOO. THEO AND LIAM ARE NOT OFFICIALLY TOGETHER HERE YET)

24. Share a moodboard for a WIP

This ones a idea I had for later parts of S4s plot and the end of the base S4 era Thiam as Jasher plot. Theo will be fixing up Jenna's old 1970s Ford Mustang at his dad garage as a surprise for Liam after he finds the vehicle just sat there covered up and Jenna tells him about the car.

26. A piece of writing/Fic you would never want your family to see.

Yes. Probably the spicey/smuttyish parts of any of my fics.

TY for the questions 🫂💙

[valleynix]

Chapter 8 is finished. It was a wild ride. I'm still not over those events. The further I went the harder it was to gather my thoughts but here they are.

As if the scene with Daniela wasn't already enough to kill me with its sweetness THEN THERE'S ONE WITH BELA my god.

Naur pls the Cass/Bela scene was already so funny with how dramatic Cass acted and then she got Daniela to join her in annoying their sis. I lost it when she grabbed Bela's arm and went Bela, Bela, Bela 😭

I love their little sibling interactions so much. Adding it to my mental list of fav scenes.

I really think that's how they'd be with each other in canon.

"Our human" awww <3

But yhm yeah that's it for Bela's self control. It left the chat.

"She sees you. It’s over, isn’t it?"

The horror

Bela's kinda (very) hot when she's feral.

Reader out there thinking about boobs while their life is under threat of being taken😭😭😭

THE CASS SCENE after the blackout absjswjjsjsj *inaudible noises and screaming*

I had to take a break to recollect myself HOW DO YOU WANT ME TO SURVIVE TILL THE END OF THE CHAPTER WHEN YOU'RE THROWING SUCH THINGS AT ME CONSTANLY FROM THE VERY BEGINNING.

NOT LADY D TOO, GIMME A BREAK.

Yhm yhm I got a break, coz here comes the angst

"You desperately hope this isn’t some hallucination Donna put you through, that you’re not just making a massive fool of yourself in the real world."

Haha

HAHA

HA HA

THE WAY IT WAS ACTUALLY MUCH WORSE

OH. MY. GOD

Honestly, I can't even be sad and heartbroken from the girls' death because for the whole time I was too amazed and mind blown at how it all just made sense instantly. How you described each of their death. And that through the chapters we could hear pieces of their lines, trying to reach to the Reader pls. But Reader was living those silly memories thinking it was the reality, while destroying everything they love in true real world. AMAZING.

Idk what else to say here it's just wow WOW chef kiss. There was no reason to be scared of how this chapter went, it was all done so well. I can just picture the flashbacks of the events from before as everything settles in place, the horror coz it starts to make sense and it HURTS.

Especially that Reader said they won't/don't want to hurt anyone.

Just sweet pain, sweet pain, it hurts so beautifully.

So just let me tell you, let me summarise my experience so far as we reached this important moment (idk how hard it was for you but regardless) I admire and I am impressed how you managed to pull it off, with the plot in general with its mystery behind the events.

But also with the characters. I think you gave them a fair amount of time to let them shine in their own unique ways. To show their personality and how they interact with the fictional world around them.

And I like how it's said on many occasions that Dimitrescus do bad things, they're dangerous and literally eat people, but it's not all they are. They care for each other, can care for other people too, and show other side of them. Because people are complex and so are they.

It was so exciting, trying to collect the hints and put them together to understand something. I had SO MUCH FUN trying to solve the mystery and waiting for the big reveal. Nice I wasn't completely lost haha.

I'm definitely not planning on dropping the story, I'd like to follow our dear poor Reader till the end and see them being happy if that's possible :(

This is definitely my favourite RE8 fic, one of my favs in general. Hell, if it was a real book it'd be in my favs too.

I love your style, your way with words and how you operate with the language, especially that you keep any feature (besides the eyes) of the Reader up to imagination which I assume requires more effort.

This story completely captured my heart, I love your mind, I just wanna... kith your brain for allowing you to create it, this piece of art, a masterpiece.

And sharing my thoughts on your work with you brings me so much joy too🥺 You seem like a kind and beautiful soul

can i just say that i genuinely almost started crying while reading this :’)

OKAY BUT ONTO THE POINTS!! very glad you got through chapter eight, because it was one of the more difficult ones (i think 13&14 are also difficult to get through because of plot??)

*im just out here trying to kill y’all with these scenes of the girls HEHEHE

*PLEASE BAHA, i ADORE writing them just like regular siblings that love but annoy the hell out of each other 😭 Cass has a flair for the dramatics and Dani just likes joining in on the chaos

*listen Cass just saying things (like “our human”) without thinking about the implications is so <333

*the one thing coming true that you’ve been fighting so hard to stop :’)

*i was so worried the feral scene with Bela was gonna come across as SA-y but i’m so glad it hasn’t been received that way 😭 like homegirl was genuinely about to kill them but in the most mocking/teasing way

*listen boobs are just priority B)

*PLEASE I LOVE CASS BAHAHA, she’s so just… *her*

*i simply must destroy the sapphics’ minds with my powers of gay >:)

*THE DELVE INTO THE ANGST WAS SO FUNNY IM SORRY, going from this sweet, tender moment to just “oh my god. oh my GOD”

OKAY BUT!! i am genuinely so happy you liked the chapter and that everything made sense in the end, at least in some way. it was really fun tying events together and having slips of reality, moments where things don’t seem quite right, but i’m glad to know the anticipation of what’s been going on was worth all the pain and wait

the really heartbreaking thing i tried so much to add onto the already confusing plot was that you could definitely hear them trying so hard to reach Reader, even if they were completely lost and couldn’t understand what was being said to them :(

the thought that Bela never gave up on them, that Daniela never thought they couldn’t be saved or redeemed… i love writing these murderous, sadistic, cannibalistic women as people who genuinely care and are just PEOPLE. seeing them try so hard to reach someone so far gone hurts so well imo

but i’m really glad you did like it and it makes me so happy that you admire all the work i’ve put into it :’) like that’s honestly one of the sweetest things i’ve heard recently

i did try to be pretty fair with each Dimitrescu and sometimes give them their own designated chapter, just so we could really bond with them and see them as more than just what the rumors about them say or as who they pretend to be. Bela is a nerd that enjoys music, Cassandra loves science and art, Daniela loves getting lost in her romance novels, and Alcina is a wine loving mom who adores her daughters above all else

honestly, i think it was your chapter seven ask?? you were INSANELY close to what was going on and i was like oh my GOD she’s figured it out. i genuinely don’t think many people actually guessed what was going on, but it was so interesting seeing how you saw things through your own eyes and how each hint connected in your brain :D

i can say for certain Reader will most likely get a happy ending, even if we have to wade through a mountain ton of angst to get there. with long stories like this one, i dislike leaving things angsty and with an unhappy ending, but also because of all the shit they’ve gone through (and will continue to go through). happy endings after going through a LOT of traumatic shit are simply superior

GRRR KNOWING IT’S ONE OF YOUR FAVORITES MAKES ME SO HAPPY, i will actually cry. pls thats so sweet omfg

i honestly highly dislike fics where it’s supposed to be like x reader but it’s just an OC?? i do try my best to keep everything inclusive, save for the eye color, and i do sometimes have to change scenes to fit that but still keep the vibe 😭

but god, i will literally never live this down. this ask is going to be ingrained in my memories for months to come and it’s going to be what i look back on when i’m feeling down about my writing

thank you so so SO much for sharing your thoughts with me <33 i do look forward to hearing what else you’ll say or come up with in future chapters, since there are still plot points and antagonists we have to work through before our dear Reader can be happy for once :’) <3333

[bibbykins]

YOOOOOOO, holy sheeeeet the new part is so gooooooooood dafuq. I KNEW there was something wrong with Mona, idk why but since the beginning I get annoyed by her quite a lot and at first I excused my annoyance with her with her lack of self-awareness and that there are a lot worse characters than her, but gurl, now??? the old hag's not even the bare fucking minimum. Like ngl, to me, slowly but surely she's becoming much more predator-like than the ones we call yandere. LIKE HOW EVEN DID SHE BECAME RICH??? (Drugs, prolly. Tons of drugs.) Like you gotta understand (but first, let us forget that you're the wonderful author of this fic and hear me out), to be COLLECTING kids??? like I think she does it to look kind or whateva, but I still don't get it. Tldr; Mona more like MoNOOOOOO (I'm tired lmao)

And now I have lots to ask (tho ngl, my day had been a whirlwind so I may come back to ask more as I tend to forget a lot when shit happens).

First off, can I kill Mona? (jk lmao, but...

(turns out I cannot upload a picture while being anon but this is too long now and I'm far too determined to let you know my thoughts in this matter)

2. On a serious note, does Mona knows how she's making the boys feel? Like Idk, I have the philosophy (and I'm bout to push my moral compass to her) of no one's evil for evil's sake, and that we just have different perceptions of things from one another. Like I have no respect for her but still want to know what the hell she thinkin about dropping off orphaned children at a big luxurious house they don't even have the idea to navigate through and NOT BOND WITH THEM WHEN SHES THE ONE WHO ADOPTED THEM???? (tell me you neglect your children without telling me you neglect your children) (on one side, maybe that's her way of making them comfortable??? but even that is pushing it? Idk, but there are a lot of things wrong with that woman and it all started from birth, dafuq)

3. This maybe a spoiler, you don't need to answer this if you want though I'd still like to ask. In what order did the boys get closer to one another? How did their brotherhood started? Coz that's a pretty strong brotherhood to all share the same type of woman lmao.

4. Maybe I'm dumb but in what order did Mona adopted the boys? who did she adopted first? (maybe a spoiler again, you don't have to answer any of these if you don't want to)

5. Did all of them fell in love with bunny at first sight? Coz that's what I'm gettin from Tae and Namjoon.

6. (On an unrelated note) In the bunny household universe, do the boys use their alias? RM, V, Suga?

7. Hypothetical question, if the mc was never into gaming (or maybe not just into their franchise), would the four of them ever meet?

8. There was a hint of jealousy coming from Namjoon in Meet and Greet, so that kinda opens the possibility of them getting jealous over one another (not in the joking way you portray in text messages) but like, real jealousy? Or nah?

9. Did yoongi had an ulterior motive when he talked with bunny in the bar? Was that REALLY Yoongi's first time meeting her? HmmmmMMmmMmm.

10. Out of all the boys and if Namjoon and Tae never lifted a finger to help bunny get into the same household with them, who would do the same thing? or maybe go on a different route?

11. Did Yoongi tried to find bunny after he got done with the phonecall?

12. Where was the uncle when Namjoon and Tae took her home?

this is getting longer now, lmao. Thank you once again for writing your wonderful fics! And thank you for answering this tooHAHAHHA. Have a great day!

Ahhhh thank you so much!!! Also yess Mona is... Mona is quite the character, huh? She's really not the random eccentric character she may seem to be at first, and I'm excited to explore more of her! And now to answer your rlly cool questions!!!

I mean no but... who's gonna stop you??? lmaooo

I will go into this more in the future, but basically not really?? Sorta?? Not every neglectful mother means to be neglectful (though many do) regardless, it doesn't mean they can't see what that's doing to their kids, and sometimes they decide it's too late by the time they notice. Not all of this applies to Mona exactly, but it's something to consider with her character. Another thing to consider is why she would want them to be with the same person and stay together? Does she care or is she just possessive over her kids staying together? She's both complex and simple in a lot of ways

Their bond rlly isn't that strong, not all of them anyway. It's just a universe where poly relationships are the norm and their not rlly in the mood to fight to the death for MC when they're okay with sharing (and they'd have to navigate MC mourning whoever gets killed). They mostly consider each other friends or roommates more than they do brothers. (Jin called them "adopted friends" for a while) However, Taehyung and Namjoon as well as Jungkook and Hoseok genuinely consider each other their best friends. I'll go into their relationships more later on ofc!

If I goofed and put anything conflicting in any of the parts pls tell me, but the order is generally Hoseok, Yoongi, Jin, Namjoon and Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook. This isn't the order she encountered them or became interested in adopting them, but ti is the order in which they were officially adopted.

No, surprisingly! Jimin just had a crush that developed into his love for her, Jin mostly thought she was cute at first and went about his business until [redacted], Hoseok wished he had asked her out, but genuinely didn't fall for her or really see her until she moved in, Jungkook [redacted], and Yoongi [redacted] lmao

When they first started out Namjoon and Taehyung used V and RM but when they landed the Undertaking series, used their actual names but fans kind of call them both. Hoseok's company is called Hope Aesthetics. Jungkook is known as JK or just his name. Yoongi just goes by Yoongi, but his first successful game was a psychological horror called Suga.... more on that later in the story~

Hmmm, they would've, but it would've been much different. They would've met from MC going to a convention later on as a panelist for sex work and cosplay, but Yoongi might not have bought the Undertaking games and Namjoon and Taehyung wouldn't have stuck with it, so the circumstances would've been way different. Even if the Undertaking games stayed how they are, if MC didn't play them, they would still meet but it would be super different.

Not really? It's more so jealous that they get her affection while they don't if that makes sense. Like in Vulnerable In The Dead of Night, Taehyung is spiraling because he hasn't gotten any confession from MC while others have, but the moment he gets it he's fine. As long as they each know where they stand with her, she can do whatever. It would take a lot to make one of them seriously jealous of one another, and it would not be pretty.

Tbh? He didn't lol He was just tipsy and having an existential crisis, and MC was just too pretty! Interesting how she trusted him with her phone, though. It was only a few seconds, I'm sure it's fine

Jungkook or Jimin would've, 100% lmao. If they had to go one more year of seeing how scared she was in that apartment, their sanity be damned, they're intervening. Jimin always had the plan to pursue her when she graduated so he didn't make her feel awkward as her TA, and Jungkook [redacted] lol

He did go back to the bar rip, but more on that later~

Traveling! He often would just leave and say it was for "work" half the time, he was being honest.

UGH I LOVED THESE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING!!! Pls keep any questions coming, I love them!!!

[themackenzieboydchronicles]

Mackenzie Visits Meena.

Mackron fanfic.

Mack was woken up by a text.

"Not Meena again" he thought as he got Isla out of bed.

"I need to see you urgently" the text said.

Mack made breakfast and got ready to go to the prison where Meena was.

"Darling" said Meena as Mack arrived at the prison visiting room with Isla. "You came and you have brought little Isla to see me"

"What's so urgent that you needed to see me?" Mack asked.

"God you look rough" said Meena "Has your water been turned off coz you're humming"

"Oh thanks" said Mack. "Always ready with the complements"

"How's Aaron?" asked Meena.

"He's done a flit thanks to you" said Mack.

"Oh come on don't be so mean" said Meena "He probably couldn't hack the smell and who could blame him for up and leaving. You were always so fastidious about your appearance. What happened?"

"You happened" said Mack taking a swig of whisky he had in a hip flask.

"Don't tell me I've driven you to drink because that isn't true" said Meena.

"Its for medicinal purposes just tell me why I'm here" said Mack.

"Coz you're madly in love with me and you can't find anyone else as good as me in bed" Meena purred.

"That's not true" said Mack.

"Well according to the sexy texts you keep sending me its more than true" said Meena.

"I haven't sent any sexy texts. I'm going" said Mack getting up to go.

"Wait" said Meena "I want us to get married"

"I'm already married to Aaron" said Mack.

"And you can divorce him quick so we can have our night of passion" said Meena "But you'll need a bath first"

"You're insane if you think I'll marry you" said Mack.

"That's funny the resident shrink said the very same after I'd given him my afternoon delight" said Meena. "I was hoping to be transferred to a mental hospital where they aren't as strict and where you can go on days out so we could see more of each other"

"Those places are for the mentally insane and I don't think you fit the criteria" said Mack.

"That's what he said" said Meena "He said I'm bad not mad. Funny that as he's as bad as bad can be"

"Is there anyone you haven't got twisted round your finger or should I say knickers" said Mack.

"Oh my little Kutta you've still got you're sense of humour" said Meena "But yes I've almost reeled everyone in here in with my knicker elastic. All except that moron who was with me at the food bank when your husband tried to kill me"

"Visiting time is up" said Mack getting up again to leave.

"Oh come on Mack" said Meena "You know I'm in your thoughts morning noon and night"

"That's because I get about ten texts a day off you" said Mack.

"I'm keen babes" said Meena "And none of the male warders can touch you, they can only dream of being as well hung as you"

"I'm going" said Mack "I can't take any more of your bull shit"

"Oh I heard about you writhing around in all that bull shit when you were helping out at Moira's" said Meena. "But that's a perk of being a farm hand isn't it?"

Mack gave a big sigh and put Isla's coat on and got up to leave.

"I'll be in touch" said Meena as Mack left.

11.3.24.

[paleparearchive]

Slapstick Cooking!

Delacroix's Cooking 4★ 1/3 ( 1 - 2 - 3 )

Location: museum's exterior (morning) ; dormitory hallway (morning) | Characters: Delacroix, Aoi/MC

Aoi: Take care! Good luck practicing for the parade.

(Is this the last time I'll see them off? Most of the artists are out practicing for the parade. The rest of the artists have other plans, so it's just me today, huh?)

(Mucha-san is at a meeting and Kuroda-san is working as a lecturer. Watteau-kun and Renoir-kun... I think they're picking up ladies.)

Aside from the pickups... I've got a few requests coming in, and things are going to get busier and busier!

(When I came to the Palette Museum, it was always deserted. We've come this far thanks to everyone's hard work.)

The museum is closed today, so I might as well do some of the paperwork that has been piling up. Okay, I'll do my best–

Delacroix: Hey.

Aoi: Woah!?

Delacroix: Uh, the hell, don't raise your voice like that! You surprised me.

Aoi: Huh, you were here, Delacroix-kun!?

Delacroix: Haah? Am I not supposed to be here?

Aoi: T-That's not what I meant. I just thought everyone had gone out today.

Delacroix: I had a request in yesterday, remember? And ya told me that I'd take the rest of the day off 'coz it went off without a hitch.

Aoi: Ah… Now that I think of it, I may have said that. I'm sorry, Delacroix-kun. I completely forgot about it…

Delacroix: It doesn't matter. It ain't the first time you've been out of the loop.

Aoi: (Uuh, I'm so ashamed of myself…)

So, what are you doing today, Delacroix-kun? Are you going out?

Delacroix: No, I'm goin' back to bed. I've been workin' late these days.

Aoi: I see, take plenty of rest.

Delacroix: Don't just stand there like a fool, ya take some rest too. See ya.

Aoi: (A fool… I know he doesn't talk much, but is he worried about me?)

Fufu, after all, Delacroix-kun is very kind, isn't he?

Aaalright! I'll do my best at work today as well!

—

Aoi: (Now that I'm done with work, I think it's time for me to have lunch…)

Delacroix: Yawn…

Aoi: Ah, Delacroix-kun. Did you just wake up, by any chance?

Delacroix: Well, yeah. I was hungry, so I thought I'd get somethin' to eat.

Aoi: I was thinking of having lunch too. Do you want to join me?

Delacroix: Aight. Let's go to the kitchen. There's gotta be somethin' to eat.

Aoi: Hmm, what do you think? Neither Millet-kun nor Hubert-kun are here today. I'm pretty sure we didn't get any leftovers from last night's dinner…

(Eating outside might be nice, but…)

Millet-kun told me this morning that he got a lot of vegetables. He said I could use them however I wanted, and I'm not used to cooking, but I'm the one here…!

Delacroix: … Ya good?

Aoi: (Uuh, he's looking at me with great concern…!?)

I-I'm fine! I got a recipe book recommended by Millet-kun!

(If I had to say whether I'm confident or not, I'd say I'm leaning towards not…)

But sometimes… Sometimes I even help Millet-kun and Hubert-kun.

Delacroix: I think there was a strange pause just now, is that really ok… Is it?

Aoi: It's fine, it's fine! Leave it to me! Even you'll be surprised at how delicious the food will taste!

Delacroix: If ya insist... Then, let's go to the kitchen.

Aoi: Yeah!

[bugmin]

theres this girl i work w and i absolutely adore her to pieces like i genuinely think shes an angel sent from god gracing our pitiful little community with humor and kindness . when i tell u i want her to suceed beyond her wildest dreams i mean it. bro when she told me she thought i fr hated her at first coz i'd ignore her when she spoke to me and another coworker (*lois griffin voice* whoever you are....thank you) explained that im just very deaf and most definitely did not hear her and i felt sooo bad coz like omg no....bae.... and tonight after closing together (kinda for the first time? coz usually she was a third set of hands, not my actual closer) she apologized to me coz we just so happened to get slammed right before close and we were done so much later than we expected coz we were dead all day anyway im like girl what the hell are u apologizing for and she told me she wishes she had been more helpful when shes by far the most helpful person to me at work.. girl be serious!!!! u know i'd ride or die for u!! i told her not to apologize for anything she was amazing ive had a hundred shitty closes its just part of the job . idk i think her morale got hit pretty hard coz the same bitch that gave me severe attitude for weeks has been giving her the same treatment lately . oh it infuriates me like it really does.. if shes gonna be pissy w someone she should take it out on me instead i'd JUMP at the chance to chew her ass out again coz that bitch STILL be pissing me off!! lmfao im not gonna end this on a sour note so ill add that earlier today my much lovelier coworker said the sweetest thing abt me and i was cheesing abt it. still am. i feel like im learning more abt myself this last year than i ever have. thats ur 20s for ya i guess

[aquarianlights]

What is something you can honestly say you will never do again?

The worst thing I have ever done in my life. I will take that to my grave with me and I will live with that guilt, pain and shame till I die. I never meant for it to happen in the first place. Idk how it even got to that point or how it even started. I don't even remember how it started... how it happened the very first time. I can't remember all the times it happened after leading up to that. If it hadn't have built up like that then idk it it would have ever had that outcome. No one deserved that. No one knows the truth, but I will never be forgiven by myself. And they won't forgive me either. They just don't know there is something there that they have the opportunity to forgive.

I think about it all the time even though it happened so many years ago. It haunts me. In my dreams. My nightmares. I see pictures, videos online that bring it to the surface. I read or see things that do the same. Smell the smells that were happening at that moment, which happen every day, sometimes multiple times a day, so I cannot avoid it. So many things just bring it right to the surface and I can remember each and every second of that day as clear and crisp as winter wind.

I feel sick and dizzy when I think of it. It was like an out of body experience. The days leading up to it, I have such fuzzy memories or none at all. The days after, nothing. Just black. I don't even know how much time passed until what I think was the next big thing that sort of "woke me up", but the timeline after that gets completely scrambled until I left that place for good.

I wish it hadn't have happened. I'd do almost anything in the world to take it back. I still don't understand why it had to happen. I believe in fate. I believe in string theory. So this had to happen in this timeline and it had to happen for a reason, in my mind. But I still have no reason years later. I have a reason for everything I have been through, good, bad, neutral, or whatever else. This is the one and only thing I don't have a reason for. The one and only thing I don't have closure for.

...and I don't think I will ever have closure.

But I can guarantee with 110% certainty that that will never happen again. I doubt there is anything in this world that could ever push me to do that again. Ever. Especially now that I'm properly medicated and have had so much therapy and have sort of found myself.

I don't think I am even emotionally or mentally capable of doing it again. Physically? Most likely. I didn't have a muscle wasting disability then, but I think the physical would still work. Mentally and emotionally, I would never be able to handle it. There is nothing in this entire world that could push me to do that again unless it were something to do with Echo's health, safety, life, comfort, location, emotions, etc.

So that is the one thing I can say with 110% certainty that I will absolutely never do ever again.

Sorry I can't divulge, but it's quite literally the only thing I know with 100% certainty I wouldn't ever do it again. Everything else? Well, I can't see the future. I coule SAY I'm sure I won't do it again coz I hated it or am scared of it or whatever, but you never know for sure, right? And I'm a realist with catastrophic thoughts. So I have every scenario in my head. This is the one and only thing I know for SURE I'd never do it no matter what. 🙃

[angelucifa]

Hey, folks.

Dunno how to begin, but I’d try anyway now. So here we go:

A really uncomfortable incident has happened in a Deadendia forum on Discord recently, as many of you Deadendia/DE:PP fans may have heard, and I’m so sorry I was the trigger. I won't go into detail further, so to cut a long story short: I posted some fanarts being inappropriate for some poeple viewed with hindsight on various social-media platforms like Instagram or Twitter, but haven’t thought about I would cause feelings of anger and displeasure in this whole fandom which I now regret.

So if there are some users in that Deadendia forum on Discord being involved in this incident here on Tumblr being able to read this now:

I’m so sorry that I may have left some of you unhinged here, so I apologize to you all for what I’ve done, to Hamish Steele , to everyone possibly left inhinged! It really wasn’t my intention to do harm to Hamish and to everyone else feeling uncomfortable now by my actions, I basically did my fanarts just for fun without any bad purposes (that wasn't even porn or worse, which I'd find REALLY creepy for my taste tbh). „Just for fun?“ you may ask now? Tbh I’m struggling to find an exact answer, but all I can tell you: I just wanted to  find some other fans hoping to be able to exchange interests in this series and graphic novels with, especially with some poeple about my age (I actually joined this forum because someone sent me an invitation link and with expectation to find other fans to be become friends with, because I know DE:PP/Deadendia hasn’t a range in popularity so big like the popularity of others like Spongebob or Family Guy for example), but stupidly disregarded there are many minors in this fandom, too. I just didn’t think about that, but now know I’ve made a fatal mistake with my actions retrospectively, but unfortunately I’ve learned that the hard way. I’d say the subject concerning some fanarts of Courtney is a grey area with a line being so narrow and  unremarkable you'll have to take care not to cross, which seem to have happened to me now coz I just overlooked that line.

I don't demand you to accept my apology or to affiliate me again, I just try to take a stance to let you know I feel so endlessly sorry for the damage I may have done althought I’m hoping you’d forgive me nevertheless. I also may just have scarped and hidden  instead and fake nothing would have happened to hope it would pass out of mind someday, but it wouldn’t help myself, nor would it help you, because you deserve to be told what has come into my mind to do that, and because I owe you an explanation and an apologize. I just want to let you know I’m neither a pedophile chasing after minors and a transphobe nor do I disrespect the religion of others (to get on to that pic of Badyah without her hijab), so stop calling me that! I just didn’t expect it would be construed this way. I can only tell it was a big mistake and I'm so sorry.

But I don’t envision myself as a bad person after all, because all that wasn’t even my intention to do harm to you all. I only can confess my fault and learn from that, because everyone makes some mistakes occasionally, making mistakes goes with life to learn from them, no matter how heavy they may have been, I’ve learned from my mistakes the uncomfortable way. I only can take my stand on these happenings and apologize, but I know I can’t make you believe me and accept me again. I really haven’t done that because I would find Courtney sexually attractive, because I really don‘t after all, I don’t feel any sexual fondness for her, I’m actually in a relationship with someone being a few years older than me. It just should be fanart, no more, no less, without any bad ulterior motive or else. Believe me or not, that’s for sure something I can’t influence after all, and I know that.

I’m feeling so miserable right now for getting you in this uncomfortable situation, you have to know. I even thought I would never feel pleasure in that series and graphic novels of Deadendia again. So I’m actually still waiting for the second Deadendia book I ordered a few days ago to arrive to me home and now it feels like I won't even enjoy reading it without being reminded of that incident and that’s a real pity in my opinion. So I can only try to make the best of that mistake I‘ve learned from for the future, because I can’t turn back these happenings.

Therefore: I apologize for all the trouble I’ve done to you with my actions, that was never  anything I wanted to achieve.

So to not let it escalate any further there was nothing else to do for me but to delete all fanarts being inappropriate everywhere, that will be the best for everyone. I know, it won’t make this incident unhappen again, but this and my public apology to you would help me (and probably you, too) to come to terms with all that.

This fandom should be a safe space for everyone I never wanted to destroy, also for me coz I became a fan because of the great representation in this series and graphic novels and Courtney became my favorite character because of her wierd characteristics. And I also became a fan because I recognized myself in Norma because of my own past experiencing bullying and exclusion in my schooltime (i. e. because I grew in circumstances of financial poverty). So this series also gave me comfort in difficult times I had to deal with and I’ll remain a fan after all, but with trying not to do harm to anyone with inappropriate fanarts or else in the future.

But to be fair I have to say the way you reproached me for having done this trouble to you wasn’t the right way neither. I approve that you wanted to make me take notice I made a mistake, but I wish you’d have found a more appropiate solution to do so instead of sharing some fanarts of mine to everyone on Discord without my permission to show me up kinda as a sick-minded minor chaser and transphobe who I am not and throwing some bad accusations towards me which aren't even true. You could have written me personally what I may have done wrong without the presence of everyone instead. I could have been someone being mentally very fragile who won't bear that happened incident any longer and therefore can’t find another solution for himself/herself/themselves than committing suicide in the end in the worst case. So would you like to be responsible for the death of someone you kinda witch-hunted? I don’t think so!

I would be so glad if you would like to communicate with me after all that trouble anyway, so if you still have any questions or feel the need to write me in general anyway, feel free to contact me, but only on condition that you’ll do it in a respectful manner towards me!

[ramonaflowersflowers]

My anxiety with work is beginning again lol. I don't want to be nailed like I wouldn't have a choice but to do stuff I don't want to do. Maybe that's not resiliency or flexibility whatever shit it is. But I don't think I could do something I am not really into or something that would cut my freedom or anything. Well I guess it's inevitable if you are a slave to the capitalism. and when you are also a consumer to the capitalist's products and whatsoever. It's a cycle and it's horrendous yet we keep at it like a routine. I just want to be free of this thoughts and my anxiety. Maybe if I can just focus om the work that needs to be done, it will be good in the end. but I can't lol.

And it was my first time going to church again after a long time. Well I think I visited the church last when it was christmas. I don't even pray that much. I am such an ass. My God must be mad and would punish me but He wouldn't coz he is nice and good and will always accept my stupid forgetful neurotic ass. I want to go to my praying habits. Talking to Him actually makes it better. Kind of gives a huge push for me when I tell Him my plans. 'Cause I still believe that if I really want it and I work hard for it He will give it to me or if not will take me to somewhere better. I believe that. I always will.

I also watch Fallen Angels (1995) by Wong Kar-wai, I really like how the setting just sets the mood. The lighting, the pace of the camera shots. It was really good and how the plots were conveyed. It's like a good film to watch when you miss someone you lost. Well I miss blackpink though I haven't lost them, I would take it as a valid reason watching it. Maybe I could watch it again to properly understand it.

Goddddd this time last week I was just at the parking lot eating corn after the concert. The aura, the happiness I felt was still fresh. It was really a peak of joy in my life that after the concert I feel like I am down again lol. This is why I am afraid to be so happy today then so sad the next. Because you can never have it ascending in all ways. You'll always have to descend to appreciate the ascend.

Hayysssss I just miss them so bad 😔😔😔 I hope to see them soon again. I thought I'd be contented watching them once. But I was wrong, I only crave for more.

Anywayssss Stream Flower by Jisoo. And well the entirety of ME album which is just two songs. 🌺🌹

_0402

*well this is a long, it's been awhile lol

[vegancas]

i feel so guilty about not wanting to stay at this new store. the store manager today was like "i hear you're staying with us!" and i was just like uuuuuhhhh and he says "oh you haven't decided yet" like sorry no i definitely have decided and i'm not staying! i'm not! but it seems like, especially the main person who does online there wants me to stay, and obviously has talked with like at least the service manager about trying to get me to stay and then someone must've told the store manager too, and it's like how many people are in on this??? i don't want to stay! i want to go back to my usual store!!! how do i get through the next few months like this? add to that I'm gonna feel guilty when i do leave coz then they'll need to replace all the hours i'm gonna be doing. but it's so tiring needing to think so much!! i actually have to manage my time instead of just being told what needs to get done, i suppose it will get easier but it will still be harder than working at my usual store. and i miss people!! i suppose there's the possibility that i might miss some of these people too eventually, but after only a few months is not the same as having worked with some of the people at my old store for years. and i'd be leaving there without having got to say a proper goodbye to anyone (or goodbye at all to some people) i lost my train of thought, i've drifted into maybe i should think about transferring but idk idk it is a lot to consider, especially the fact that it would be further away once i've moved, i probably wouldn't mind doing shifts at both stores, but idk if that would be much of a possibility