#Crowley of course doesn’t know that Aziraphale saw his Fall

[ivyontheholodeck]

You know what I haven’t seen nearly enough of in fanfic? Aziraphale witnessing Crowley’s Fall, at the very beginning.

We know Aziraphale knew Crowley before and after, but imagine the horror of watching as your comrade is cast down from your home. Imagine flinching at his impact against the earth below, the crunch of bone and the smell of burning feathers.

After all, S1E6 demonstrated that both Heaven and Hell are fans of public execution.

[theelastword]

i saw a very interesting post recently from @fellthemarvelous about how Aziraphale is often treated the way female love interests are— likely because his hobbies and emotions are more traditionally feminine whereas crowley’s style and anger are more traditionally masculine despite the fact that neither of them are gendered. the thesis of the post was essentially that because crowley is the one who fell, fans have decided that aziraphale only exists to comfort and protect and bring peace to crowley rather than be his own person with his own emotions and ambitions. i’d never been able to put this into words, but it’s like this person stole what i was feeling right from my brain and i am so thankful to their eloquence.

but it did get me thinking about the end of season 2— specifically how many fans, even people who defend aziraphale for what he did, believe that the “only” way for his choices in the finale to be valid are if he did them for crowley’s safety/well-being. i’ve seen so many arguments along the lines of “oh, he has to go back so he can fix Heaven for Crowley and make him heal from falling” or “oh, he has to go back to Heaven because if he doesn’t, Metatron could go after crowley and he needs to keep him safe”. and while both of these very popular aziraphale-defenses are valid (this is not an attack on anyone’s opinion!) and i wouldn’t be surprised if they played into his reasoning for leaving, i can’t help but think of that lovely person’s female-love-interest argument.

i don’t actually think aziraphale leaving for heaven needs to be related to crowley at all. it can, of course— and likely does— but aziraphale has gone through just as much Heaven-induced trauma as crowley has, something that many fans (and even the characters themselves, sometimes) like to forget. aziraphale knows first-hand how abusive Heaven is to young angels and humans who they deem unworthy of being saved. and so to me, it is just as valid if it turns out aziraphale going back to Heaven wasn’t “for” crowley at all, but rather a way to protect these other generations from the abuse of Heaven that aziraphale has witnessed and been victim to. is it so hard or unacceptable to think that aziraphale could make a choice that doesn’t have to do with his love life? he is not obligated—nor is crowley!— to live entirely as though he’s making something up/repaying/protecting his love interest. that kind codependency is not something to idolize. i guess what i’m trying to say here is that there are other reasons to go back to Heaven having nothing to do with keeping crowley safe, and while that is a perfectly valid interpretation, i’m not personally a fan of the widespread belief that it’s the only interpretation that makes what aziraphale did “forgivable”.

EDIT/ADDITION: i ALSO think that this is why i’m so bothered by the argument that while Crowley being “selfish” and choosing his own path at the end of s2 is perfectly valid, aziraphale doing the exact same thing is not. i do not blame either one of them for making a different choice, but in my opinion far too many people believe that crowley had a right to his own autonomy and do what he thought was best for himself, whereas somehow it was Aziraphale’s job to choose the same thing in accordance to what was most healthy for CROWLEY and not for himself/his own ambitions as regards to Heaven. people think that crowley has an obligation to do what is best for crowley, but that aziraphale’s subsequent obligation is to also do what’s best for crowley. no one seems to particularly care what may be best for aziraphale. at the end of the day, if one of them can make a self-prioritizing choice, the other can, too. aziraphale is his own person, not a love interest!!!!

[krakensdottir]

So that new clip, huh.

This is cementing something I suspected when I saw Crowley’s reaction to Gabriel in the trailer. Crowley is afraid. Like seriously terrified of what’s about to happen to them. He’s not just being dramatic this time, he’s looking at their own personal apocalypse standing there in the bookshop.

Like, it’d be easy to expect that Aziraphale would be afraid. But no. He’s nervous as hell - always has been, around the bosses - but he doesn’t seem to be afraid of Gabriel. This is what I was saying about him actually being a legitimate cinnamon roll. Boss shows up with no memories, after not long ago trying to kill him, obviously needing help, and Aziraphale like. Doesn’t even hesitate. Of course he’s going to help. Not because Gabriel deserves it, but because whether he deserves it doesn’t come into play. He has no one else. Aziraphale can’t just leave him like this, now can he?

(Note that I don’t think this is Aziraphale being a doormat or anything. He’s too forgiving, yes, but that’s a known and accepted character trait. He likes to help people, and he chooses to help people. He’s choosing to help Gabriel, and perhaps forgive him, whatever we or Crowley might think of the wisdom of that choice.)

Crowley, though... he’s freaking out. Aziraphale wasn’t there to see Gabriel’s cold-ass eyes consigning him to the flames. Crowley can’t forgive him. No way. And he can’t see Gabriel as anything less than someone who will gladly destroy them both.

And as touching as it is to interpret ‘precious, peaceful, fragile existence’ as referring to Aziraphale, I don’t think it’s that simple. It certainly includes Aziraphale, but believe it or not, I don’t think he’s the be-all end-all of the situation. Crowley is afraid for himself, for the closest thing to peace he’s ever had. And he has every right to be. Maybe it’s easy to forget because of the way he usually plays it off, but Crowley has lived his whole post-Fall existence with terror in the back of his mind. He’s had the threat of torture and destruction hanging over his head, not only from his own bosses, but from the angels who oppose him along with the rest and even from God who decided to toss him out in the first place. He has no safe space other than Aziraphale and the bookshop. He never has, and he has every fucking right to be afraid of losing that for his own sake. He has every right to be angry and upset and terrified and to hate being dragged into this.

And I don’t know, I kind of don’t want to see that watered down into something purely romantic and protective. Crowley talks about the peace he carved out for himself, he means it. He carved it out over millennia, often without Aziraphale’s help. I’d be furious about the idea of losing that too, especially when it’s because the person he thought he could trust just can’t say no to helping the guy who tried to kill him.

(Not hating on Aziraphale here, and I don’t think Crowley is either. Aziraphale has his reasons, and I’m pretty sure one of them is that he doesn’t think they actually have a choice here, that they’re facing something terrible they have to deal with regardless. Just like Crowley with Armageddon. He just... isn’t communicating that very well. At least not in this clip. Instead he’s trying to appeal to Crowley’s good nature, which does not extend as far as his own. Once they agree they have to deal with this regardless, I think they’ll be alright.)

[nightgoodomens]

But what if Crowley actually fell because of the love between him and Aziraphale?

Sounds cheesy? Ok but hear me out because this involves Crowley becoming the tempting one and saving Aziraphale from the very beginning.

We found out in S2 that they have met a long time before we thought they did. Baby Aziraphale fell so quickly and hard that he was jealous Crowley was calling nebulas beautiful, not him, before they even exchanged names.

We know Crowley thinks he fell because he was asking questions, I generally have a feeling that he was pushing boundaries all the time because why not! He’s so curious! He wants to know things! He loves creations! He was so pure he’d never think he’d fall just for asking - and he shouldn’t have fell, we know that.

I can see Aziraphale being so taken by him, by his little rebellious nature, probably finding ways to spend time with him (just like he did after Crowley fell) and Crowley taken by him in return and both spending more and more time together.

They probably didn’t even know what was happening between them. They just wanted to be together.

They didn’t know they were being watched.

And then one day, Aziraphale leans in for a kiss. And they do kiss. And they giggle like teenagers in love.

Now Heaven needs to separate them. Who to get rid of? Crowley, the rebel, the one who asks uncomfortable questions? Or Aziraphale, the angelic angel? The poor baby who never did a wrong thing?

Of course it must have been Crowley who tempted him. Definitely all his fault. Such a devil thing to do, tempting.

And so Crowley fell.

Maybe he didn’t even know why what he did was wrong.

Maybe when they accused him, he said it was him who tempted Aziraphale, to save Aziraphale from the fall. Crowley always saved him. Hence why he got slapped with becoming the snake who tempted.

Maybe they erased his memory. Maybe he doesn’t even know what happened all those years ago. It just felt right to be by Aziraphale when he saw him again and he didn’t know who he was. Maybe he realised there is something missing and he started forcing himself to remember.

“I don’t even like you!”

“You dooooo!”

Maybe Aziraphale was told he fell for something awful. Or had his memory of their time together erased too. But he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to him when he saw him again, after so many years.

It just everything felt better when he was by that one particular person.

Or maybe he does remember but thinks Crowley doesn’t. Maybe that’s why he spent all of S2 trying to make him remember.

Maybe that’s why Crowley kissed him when Aziraphale decided to go back to Heaven? To make him remember.

But they both remember everything.

[borntolurk]

OKAY SO I have a theory about the Aziraphale/Crowley relationship progression but it is going to have some pretty significant SPOILERS for E1-2 of Good Omens S2 so be warned!

By significant spoilers I mean that I will be describing some specific moments across both episodes (which I saw at the NYC screening).

Theory is below the line-

Alright, so as most people already know- I think from an interview- in the opening scene where Crowley and Aziraphale are both angels, Aziraphale notices Crowley before Crowley notices Aziraphale, and Aziraphale is clearly struck by Crowley. I don't know that I'd say "in love" but I think that it's somewhere in a range from "admiring" to "infatuated."

There are a lot of people theorizing about how that could possibly mesh with the S1 truism that Crowley fell fast for Aziraphale and Aziraphale kind of ignored him but I actually think it works perfectly well if you look at it this way:

Aziraphale fell for (for lack of a better term lol) the angel Crowley had been before.

So when he’d have seen Crowley in Eden, Crowley would recognize him as he looks exactly the same and really it's only been seven days, but Aziraphale would see a demon who COULDN’T POSSIBLY BE THE SAME BEING HE FELL FOR!

On rewatching the Eden scene, I think that Aziraphale does recognize Crowley as the angel who fell- he just doesn’t know his new name- and while obviously this is basically just me projecting back on performances that didn’t have ANY of this in mind, he seems very on edge when talking to Crowley. It’s like he knows EXACTLY what led Crowley to fall (asking questions and criticizing God), Crowley’s doing more of it now, seemingly to tempt Aziraphale into falling (especially now that he’s a demon and that’s what demons do, it’s what Crowley just did to Eve), and so Aziraphale is trying to be very careful. It’s why Aziraphale is so freaked out when Crowley points out that maybe he shouldn’t have given away the flaming sword, and that it wouldn’t be good if actually Aziraphale did do the bad thing and Crowley did the good.

Aziraphale needs to have done the good thing so that he doesn't fall and end up like Crowley, the angel who he fell for (figuratively....) and who has met this fate and turned into a totally different being! He’s seen exactly what happens when you’re a powerful and well meaning angel who just has some questions about god’s plans! I believe strongly that Aziraphale had believed that Crowley AS AN ANGEL was good and worth falling in love with, but that Crowley AS A DEMON is a different being who cannot be seen in the same way.

Then at the ark, its Aziraphale’s side that is doing the atrocity so it’s the typical defensiveness, continuing with the whole “well he’s a demon and even if I kind of agree with him he can’t be GOOD the way he was when he was an angel, and that means he must be bad and wrong even if his points make sense.” Crowley is a demon now, and demons are bad, even when they FEEL right- and if Aziraphale goes after his natural inclination which agrees with Crowley, especially if part of that is because he remembers what he felt about that angel of years ago, it just means that he's being tempted by a demon...

AND THEN we get to the Job minisode. I loved the minisode and so I'm hesitant to really spoil it but basically Crowley yo yos back and forth- first he seems very happy to do terrible things to Job, then it turns out he's been partially defying that order (which incidentally means going against God's plan, which is a VERY big problem for Aziraphale!), then he concocts a plan that requires Aziraphale, for good reason, to lie to the other angels, including some archangels, thereby counteracting God's plan. Afterward Aziraphale freaks out because he thinks that lying in order to trick Heaven and God means he’s fallen, and Crowley has to explain that that’s not how it works and comforts him.

Aziraphale is conflicted, of course, because Crowley is confusing and can't really win- on the one hand, it's bad if Crowley listens to God and kills Job's kids, but on the other hand it's bad if Crowley DOESN'T listen to God and DOESN'T kill Job's kids! So Aziraphale is expecting much more than Crowley is ever able to live up to- he's muddled about his purpose, and Aziraphale doesn't know how to interpret that.

I feel like this would kind of put the tin lid on it. Crowley is a different being now, one who may still have merciful qualities that Aziraphale likes and agrees with (and may remind Aziraphale of that angel of long ago) but is still a demon and against everything that Aziraphale is meant to stand for. And while the minisode ends with Aziraphale understanding that he's not quite like the other angels, he is still very clear- he is an angel and Crowley is a demon. They aren't just enemies, they are incompatible. The Crowley in front of him and the Crowley (or whatever his name was) that he remembers from heaven are different and he can't trust the one in front of him.

Because it feels like that's the main barrier here- Aziraphale can't trust Crowley. Crowley is a demon and his object is to tempt humanity to its downfall, even if Crowley himself isn't always so into that. Aziraphale may like Crowley, but it's against his better judgment- every bone in his body tells him not to trust him. He can't trust that Crowley's intentions are genuine- also in the minisode, Crowley tempts Aziraphale to try food (or as Gabriel would call it "gross matter") for the first time, and Aziraphale is somewhat disturbed by this in part because he knows that he is susceptible to Crowley's temptations! How can he trust after this that anything that Crowley does for him or says to him is done with good intentions rather than to bring him down from where he thinks he should be?

It's the Arrangement that ends up changing this. Having an agreement where they each do things for each other, each against their own better judgment, slowly but surely encourages Aziraphale to trust Crowley and his intentions. And it's during the Blitz, when Crowley puts himself in danger to help Aziraphale (danger that is specifically caused by the fact that Crowley IS a demon- otherwise the church would hold no danger), that Aziraphale really realizes that Crowley does have good intentions. He put himself at risk, which is the furthest thing from trying to get something for himself. This allows Aziraphale to trust Crowley that he really does need the holy water for a good reason, among other things later.

As you can tell, I don't actually think that Aziraphale has ever been oblivious to Crowley. He sees everything, but interprets it through his own mental lens. (The parallel that came to mind for me, weirdly, and you can ignore this if you've never seen the sitcom Frasier, but Daphne would have to be wearing massive blinkers not to know that Niles is into her- it's just that she doesn't recognize what kind of feelings he has because in her mind they are in two different worlds and so the idea that he could be genuinely interested is out of her comprehension.) To Aziraphale, Crowley is intriguing and kind and he's thought so since the beginning, but he's also dangerous. In fact that's what makes him dangerous!

Crowley is dangerous because there is so much about him to love, but he is a demon and therefore, in Aziraphale's worldview, unlovable. A demon can't love and be loved! And so Aziraphale is really also not just not trusting Crowley, but also not trusting HIMSELF. He has all these feelings about Crowley but he keeps saying that they're just Crowley tempting him or just residual feelings from the version of Crowley it WAS permissible to love, the angelic one.

I think that Crowley may genuinely be oblivious to anything Aziraphale is feeling, because in the opening scene he isn’t paying a tremendous amount of attention to Aziraphale, but I think he does grasp that Aziraphale doesn’t trust him and that’s what he’s working to change. He knows it's an uphill battle and the most important thing to do in order not just to change their relationship but to get Aziraphale out of his funk.

Now that they're both "on their own side," Aziraphale has a lot more understanding. He sees that just because Crowley is a demon it doesn't mean he is untrustworthy, and he realizes that each of them independently needs to make themselves worthy of trust and Crowley has done that again and again. And so it's almost natural for him to go back to those feelings that he had for that original angelic Crowley, but reinforced by everything he's learned since then- millennia of Crowley proving his ultimate goodness.

As a character in one of my favorite novels, Dorothy L Sayers's Gaudy Night, said of another character (paraphrased), "if I should once give way to him, I would go up like straw." And indeed she does. Aziraphale does too- once he opens himself to fully trust Crowley he can feel that sense of peace and security between them, and fall right into it, in a way that Crowley, who's been working so hard to establish it up until then, can't really. Crowley's been on edge for so long that he can't take anything for granted; Aziraphale can.

[queer-reader-07]

few things bother me more than people saying that it’s “dumb” or “intentional ignoring” or “impossible” to have interpreted crowley and aziraphale’s relationship platonically.

and look i could go on about all the things that do point to romance but enough people have done that so i’m gonna defend myself here and explain why i read them as platonic for so long and why i think it’s perfectly reasonable to have read them platonically.

and a disclaimer that all of this is from my perspective and my opinion. so if i make a statement as though it’s matter of fact, know that i’m speaking from my perspective and just can’t be bothered to preface every sentence with “in my opinion…”

and it mostly boils down to one thing: their love reflected the love me and my friends have for each other.

so no shit i interpreted them platonically because they looked like my real life platonic relationships!!

i’ve talked at length about how i think there’s a specificity to the way queer people love. i think there’s something special about the way queer people show love, especially platonic love.

here’s the thing. i’ve been mistaken as my best friend of 16 years’ girlfriend more than once. i’ve been mistaken as one of my other best friend’s partner so many times her friends were genuinely shocked when she got a boyfriend because they thought she was dating me.

i understand the whole “being so platonically in love that people think you’re also fucking” situation. i unironically live that situation on the regular. so naturally i assumed that’s what was happening with aziraphale and crowley.

my thought process was basically this

1) they love like i love (specifically, crowley loves like i love). therefore, they’re platonically in love.

2) weird, everyone on the internet is convinced they’re dating. something something everyone values romantic love over platonic love

3) well whatever they’re still platonic in my heart

and it stayed like that quite literally until i watched episode 6 of season 2. and you can tell me i was being oblivious all you want, but that doesn’t change the fact that i genuinely believed they were platonic. queer platonic? sure. but definitely not romantic.

i saw all the witty quips and banter between the two of them and didn’t read any sexual or romantic tension, i read friendship. i saw aziraphale damsel in distress-ing himself on the regular so crowley could save him and thought “well it’s the only way he can spend time with crowley. checks out”. and i saw the bandstand breakup and the burning bookshop and “you told my only friend to shut his mouth and die and i did. not. care. for it.” and aziraphale so desperately trying to shield crowley from the horrors of the world and obviously i saw love. a love that is deep and profound, yes. it just never read romantic to me because i would do and say all of those things for and to my friends.

one of the few things i will never cease to find joy in is my friendships. i will ALWAYS love loving the people close to me, i will ALWAYS support them, and most importantly, i ALWAYS want to protect them. even when i know what is going to happen is inevitable, i don’t want to see them hurt. i want to shield them from the cataclysmic experience of the human condition and only have to experience in the moments of joy that await them. i don’t want to see the people i love hurt or in pain or jaded by how fucked up the world is.

because i already am those things. i am jaded by the world, i’m constant falling into the pit of cynical despair that the state of the world can manage to throw you down. and i know how fucking hard it is to pull yourself out of that place, to find hope and move forward and allow yourself to even enjoy the love and support you do have in life.

and the last thing i ever want is for the people i love dearly to experience those things.

so yeah. i related hard fucking core to crowley and the way he loves aziraphale SO. FUCKING. DEEPLY. and of course i read it platonically because it’s platonic for me. so deeply platonic in the best way.

and i could go on about how a lot of this stems from how much i value platonic love. how much i don’t adhere to social norms of love and how people express love. i will loudly proclaim my love for my friends, because i love them. i’m in love with them. but that doesn’t mean i want to date them or kiss them. and that makes perfect sense to me, and if it doesn’t make sense to you. well then, idk what to tell you.

this is longer than i intended but my point is that it hurts seeing people who act like those of us who did genuinely read aziracrow as platonic the first go around are stupid or that we chose to ignore the romance.

because, to me at least, it always felt like people were calling the way i love stupid or that i’m actually ignoring my “real” feelings

[lvndrlondonfog]

ok so basically I saw your post asking for prompts and I have been thinking for days about cat good omens . again. let me explain

so a while back I wrote a super fucking long cat omens fic (long for me at least) where they’re stray cats, it’s called strays on the street, almost 60k words. BUT in my head is ANOTHER CAT AU where they are warrior cats ok idk if you’ve ever read those books but there’s hundreds of them and they’re about clans of cats who fight and hunt and fuck and it’s crazy and not child appropriate. I was reading cats get mauled and give birth graphically in 2nd grade but anyway I WANNA READ THEM AS WARIROR CATS OR WRITE IT MAYBE?? Cuz all I’ve written is this snippet from my notes app from weeks ago

/ “I’m sorry,” Serpentfang gurgled, his eyes rolling back in his head, his paws convulsing as he tried to reach for Angelwing. But the white tom stepped back. /

NO CONTETX NOTHING IDK WHAT

but anyway i also need more fanart and fic of crowley with greying hair. same with azi tbh but especially Crowley i want them growing old together in the sense that they don’t have to grow old but they choose to :) ))) also i want an au where crowley becomes Duke of hell post s2 just to send petty notes through heavens administration

SORRY MY ADHD DOES NOT LET ME HAVE A STRAIFHT LINE OF THOUGHT AJSSJDK anyway i am all for new tumblerers and if you have an ao3 or something id love to follow it incase you do write or post anything! <3 random ideas to shoot at ya: sailor aziraphale x siren Crowley, crowley pretending to date furfur post s2 to get supreme archangel aziraphale’s attention, muriel trying to get Crowley and aziraphale back together PARENT TRAP STYLE, orrrr yknow what sweet and fluffy aziraphale reading and drinking tea in south downs cottage while snake Crowley listens to him read aloud and sips from his cup with his silly forked tongue

GO CRAZY (and also be my mutual? 💍)

OH ABSOLUTELY. Warriors cats was my SHIT growing up, and sosososos many ideas I cannot thank you enough: I’ll link one of my fics below and I just started writing so they aren’t AMAZING but decent I think still!!! Ones about Angel Crowley finding inspiration for the entire universe after one (1) passing glance at a specific Angel and the other about Crowley struggling a bit after the fall, past angst but wings and fluff!!!

THOUGH I ABSOLUTELY GET ZERO STRAIGHT LINES OF THOUGH FELLOW ADHDER SO LEMME SEE IF I CAN RESPOND TO ALL OF THESE AKFKRLS

So basically I have also thought about warrior cats au before and BASICALLY

Crowley is a dark forest cat (kicked out like Ashfur) and Aziraphale is a Starclan cat!!!! Remember in the first books when they have to move from the original forest bc it was getting chopped down? Instead of moving, Starclan saw no way out of that and was like “what if they all just die instead than problem solved and we never have to worry about issues ever again?”

Crowley and Aziraphale are obviously like NO THATS A BAD IDEA and after an accidental meeting at the foggy border between Starclan and the dark forest, they are both elected by their respective forces to take over two clan’s medicine cat’s bodies and make sure that the 9 layers of Armageddon that Starclan is sending to wipe out the clans will go through. Instead, they try to thwart things while each dealing with clan life once again, and of course, shenanigans ensue!

Okay growing older I literally love the idea of as they drift further from their respective sides, they lose more and more of their ethereal powers, but it means they can be together and be left alone. While it’s a sacrifice that they’re both willing to make, it does come with some unintended side effects (mostly for Crowley; human bodies don’t tend to handle a million year free-style dives into pits of boiling sulphur too well) but they again find ways. Essentially a lot of fluff post-Armageddon’t and s2 in the South Downs Cottage????

And thirdly what if post S2, Crowley doesn’t really know what to do with himself but he’s PISSED. And there is no more “their” side, only Crowley’s side and he’s not exactly thrilled to be back alone. He has nothing else to do and he wants petty revenge, so he matched Aziraphale’s position as Supreme Archangel as a Duke Of Hell, mainly as an excuse to fuck with Aziraphale and make sure that Aziraphale won’t be able to forget about him any time soon, because Crowley certainly hasn’t thought about him.

AND TWO SPLIT ROUTES ONE ANGST ONE CRACK

1) With nobody left on Earth, Crowley and Aziraphale are out of the loop and before they realize it, the second coming had happened. Earth is dead, and Heaven and Hell are preparing for war once again. Meeting on the battlefields, each full of anger and with nothing left to go back to, what will happen? Either they fight and one accidentally wounds the other before they’re both like OH SHIT WAIT WAIT WAIT THIS IS STUPID MISTAKES HAVE BEEN MADE or one is hurt by the enemy side and found by the other; how do they stick together when no place is safe anymore?

OR NOT HORREDNOUS ANGST

2) Crowley finds out about the second coming, which he doesn’t think Aziraphale knows about, and vice Versa. Cue notes with ridiculous clues and stupid Spelling Things Out with random capitals to send a message, and completely obliviousness on both sides because they’re too desperate to get their own sides across that they don’t even stop to consider that the other may Also be trying to send a message. Cue increasingly grand gestures from both sides before Aziraphale shows up at Crowley’s office holding the Son of God, and they have to figure out how to stop the second coming while finding out ways to acknowledge the emotional damage they both still carry from their last meeting in the bookshop

Sailor x Siren writes itself: maybe shipwrecked Aziraphale finds Very Almost Miraculously Convenient things on this abandonded island that he’s trying to survive on, before one night he finds a certain someone repairing the broken boat little by little. They get scared off before they can talk but Azi leaves an offering back, and cue not-meeting-but-absolutely-communicating until actual meeting than bam! Eventually they both realize that there’s nobody getting him off this island and the ultimate choice for Aziraphale to drown and become a siren too, he takes the offer and is literally just held by siren!Crowley as he takes his last breath and a bit of suspense before BOOM REBORN HAPPY ENDING YIPEE!!

Than dating Furfur to cause jealousy, specifically knowing how similar the two can look, Crowley makes it VERY obvious that he’s complimenting and highlighting all the similar traits of Aziraphale but TO SOMEONE ELSE. Aziraphale refuses to directly confront but cue more and more aggressive signs from the heavens that try to break them apart that Crowley keeps spinning into good things. Aziraphale convinces Muriel child-of-divorce style to miraculously decorate the bookshop that Crowley had been living in to an EXTREME for Valentine’s Day, and Crowley spins it into ‘I did this myself’ for FurFur. Eventually, Aziraphale gets so spun up that he can no longer focus on the planning (or thwarting) of the second coming and gets so pissed with Crowley little shithead antics that he leaves the rambunctious 10 yo son of Christ at the door, with a small note reading something along the lines of ‘Fine, deal with this yourself than; PS this is Jesus!’ And the exact opposite silence, Crowley flailing to win Aziraphale’s good graces and communicate with him, handling Jesus, and dealing with some growing guilt after Furfur genuinely seemed to become attached. Not sure how this would end, but probably Crowley working through everything on his own, separate sides angst, alternating POV chapters, and they ultimately team up again to solve all the issues

Also for Parent trap Au: Muriel and the Bentley power-duo: Crowley’s depressed so Muriel can use the Bentley, and it drives Muriel places and hints at what to do next ect ect while Muriel figures out human stuff, romance, heaven, and after numerous failed attempts- a happy ending for the wonderous Mr.Fell and Mr.Crowley who had taken her in before!

Also Absolutely Dyslexic Crowley having pretended to just really hate books for the longest time, but Aziraphale eventually noticed that Crowley struggles to read menus and other stuff too- just poor eyesight and with knowledge being the root of the original sin, heaven found it quite ironic to block that in more than a few ways for the very demons who perpetuate sin! Confrontation, and eventually Crowley gives in and cue absolute fluff; Aziraphale reads and finds a new side of Crowley, who despite what he had spent many years convincing himself, actually ends up enjoying various things and even asking further questions and speculating and thinking about things (which Aziraphale is more than thrilled about to finally have someone to discuss with!)

Also I am currently on SOS Internet on the drive home, so I can’t risk opening a new webpage lest everything is risked but my Ao3 is LvndrLemonade! Top two fics are what I was talking about earlier and I will absolutely keep you updated on these ideas!!!!!!!!! Thank you for allowing me to yell I love all of tjeese sosososso much oh my god

[canarybell]

About the Ball, the safety of the angelic embassy and the importance of discussing plans

You know, I think there was actually one more reason for Aziraphale to have a ball in his bookshop. Not just for the sake of having a dance with Crowley or make Nina and Maggie fall in love – though, of course, the idea of it happening was present and pleasant for the angel.

I first thought about it few days ago while rewatching episode 5. Do you remember how insistent Aziraphale was on making everybody going to the meeting, stooping to direct temptation to achieve 100% attendance? Yes, yes, I know, it was for the ball where Aziraphale planned to dance with Crowley and (maybe) make a step further in their relationship. But if you think about it  - yeah, Doctor Who fan provided music, but why would Aziraphale need a magician and his partner for this meeting to present? Even if both magician and DW fan had declined, there still would have been Nina, Maggie, Mrs. Cheng and her husband, French restaurant owner, Mrs. Sandwich, Mr. Brown, some other people…it actually seems the whole street except for first two men agreed to come without any problem. It’s not like two random people would make any difference – neither for Crowley (he doesn’t even know or care about them!) nor for Nina and Maggie.

There also was that subtle face change, when Nina and Crowley couldn’t see Aziraphale – he’s suddenly a lot more serious than during his talk with Crowley, and even a bit concerned about something?

Now, we know (and  Crowley doesn’t) that Aziraphale is aware that Shax knows about Gabriel. It seems Aziraphale totally forgot about that danger focusing on the ball….or not?

You see, while the bookshop was a center of demons’ unwanted attention, it was also (paradoxically) the safest place for mortal to be in the Whickber Street at night in case demons attack (and it looks like they only attack at night). In theory, at least. We saw how demons followed unassuming Maggie while she was heading to the bookshop – hardly with good intentions. We also know the bookshop is technically an embassy and thus safe from demons – unless you go out the doorstep on your own like Mr. Brown or invite them like Maggie. Otherwise all demons could do was breaking the windows and shouting some nonsense from the street.

Actually, even Crowley agrees the bookshop is the safest place for Nina to be at that night:

So that’s can be why (I assume) Aziraphale was trying to invite everyone on the street – he knew there was a chance of Shax arriving, and had in mind people of Whickber Street would be safer inside. That’s why he  didn't bat an eye when Crowley told him about demons outside – he knew it might happen and actually took measures! He even explained it!

There is actually nothing to worry about! Humans will be too busy the whole night, dancing, talking Jane Austen style and trying to figure out which guest is the seamstress and which one is the seamstress – and wouldn’t even notice something unusual happening outside. In fact, Aziraphale and Crowley might even dance (while Shax helplessly looks at them from the window) and even kiss – what can Shax do, with them being inside an embassy? The whole London might be destroyed, but an embassy will remain safe – like at that concept picture:

….At least he thought so. You all know how it ended. Demons broke the window, Mr. Brown went outside and was taken by demons (so, ‘keeping humans safe’ idea failed), and only then Crowley bullshited their way out by convincing Shax ‘civilians’ should be evacuated.

You see, it wasn’t a bad idea, per se – using available props, like demon-proof building, or summoning/discorporating circle later. But it was a terrible plan, as it didn't take into account the various subtleties – would demons be able to draw attention to themselves even if they can’t enter? How humans might react if they notice something and how to keep them safe at this case? What to do in case demons stay – they definitely can wait for a long time – longer than humans will agree to stay for sure?

And you know what could have made this plan better? Discussing it!!!!! With Crowley!!! With Crowley actually discussing it, not just disregarding it, cause the idea is good, it just needs some revisions. That’s why there is such thing as peer-review, for God’s sake, to see errors caused by cognitive distortions!

(And then Crowley in his turn ignored Azirapjale’s attemption to suggest and discuss some plan – maybe about activating the circle? That actually wasn’t a bad idea too, but shouldn’t have been the whole plan)

But if they discussed the demon-proof embassy plan, Aziraphale would also have to mention that he had met with Shax, and he didn't want to talk about it - for whatever reason. Probably the same reason why Crowley kept silent about his meeting with Beelzebub, Shax’ threats, and Jim's "prophecy" of the tempest.

A severe case of miscommunication disease, the main villain of these series; The Metatron is no match for it.

[heartinajarofpickles]

Dinner Is Not Over

Part 1

You say something's wrong

The engine finally stops after 4 hours of driving carelessly through the London streets, Crowley doesn’t seem to know how, when or why he arrived at their apartment. 

— “Life must move on right?”

No one answers.

The boxes in the backseat have started to lose stability, the more the moisture of the plants is in contact with them, the worse they get, as soon as Crowley notices this he takes them out, one box at a time since he doesn’t have help this time, it’s very tedious really but at least it keeps his mind occupied, although not for long, once all the plants are secured in the second floor of the building he starts spiraling again, thinking about the confession, the kiss, but above all about Aziraphale, they have never been not together, maybe he should’ve gone to heaven, be holy again, just to be with the one that he had forever loved; but then again how could he go to that place after all he had seen, they were the ones that punished him oh so badly just for questioning god and not following her blindly, but wasn’t that the reason that he got into such a high position in the first place? And even worse, didn't god make her that way? Why was she responsible for being the way she was if another person made her specifically that way?

NONSENSE

Worse than all, heaven tried to kill the angel, HIS angel, destroy him forever just for saving life, why if he was so good did Metatron not intervene then? What if they hadn’t changed their bodies? Both of them would’ve died.

Ever since the fall Crowley didn’t care that much about his own life, he never really admitted it, but he knew that god could take anything she wanted away from them, at any given time, that's why they restricted themselves from feeling, from caring, from getting attached, because they knew that if they did it all could be destroyed, it had been once and nothing guaranteed him that it couldn’t happen again, but here on earth they had so much more that she could ever have anywhere else, they were loved and cared but above all they were needed, and that was his mistake, letting his ward down, and allowing themselves to feel, to care, to love, and just like thousands of years ago, all of that was stolen from him, ripped in seconds leaving his word shredded.

But none of that was important anymore, he had all the time in the world just for himself, and he sure could use it.

First thing Crowley did after having such a sad revelation was getting into the Bentley and driving to the closest liquor shop, what a nice sound it was the one of bottles clinking against each other and how nice did it felt to not make the right choice for once, to behave the way that everyone expected him to, to live up to all those nasty comments and beliefs, it was clear as day that the little man chasing him since 3 blocks away was never going to be able to catch him, of course Crowley had the money to pay, but he just needed some thrill, although not positive he surely was feeling something, call him whatever you want but at this exact moment he was doing 1000 times better than when Aziraphale left.

After arriving in an absurdly short amount of time to his flat Crowley decided to get right at it, apparently in such a hurry 3 bottles have broken leaving irregular shards of glass both big and small, sharp and flat; and whiskey splashed all over the suitcase, Crowley’s cold hand starts digging into the bag where the bottles are, hurting himself with a few of the smaller shards, when he manages to take a hold onto one of the bottles his hand were already bleeding, it was such a twisted picture to saw the creature that had once saved the earth and guarded it for so many years from gods oddballs, thrown on the floor drinking a disgusting mix of the red liquid emanating from their hands mixed with the liquor coming out of the bottle all while watching the sculpture that looked so different than him, so ethereal, so triumphant,so elegant, and for that same thing to felt the same way that he did, cold, hard and inert, if u would’ve been there at the time you wouldn’t have been able to differentiate which one was which, same pulse, same temperature, same tint, in fact with each gulp Crowley lost more and more of his humanity until they were nothing more than a bunch of bones and skin, muscles and blood held together by something that didn’t let him live nor let him die, the weight of those 6,000 years began settling in, all those years they had been with the angel, they had felt him sometimes so far that it was very faint, some other times so close that he believe that with a wrong movement they will merge together becoming the same energy, but as of now he couldn’t feel anything it felt lonely, it felt empty, it felt WRONG.

Crowley’s thoughts weren’t stopping and neither was his drinking, more and more time passed and with each minute more empty bottles were filling up the flat, the initial cuts on their hand had already stopped bleeding but with each bottle that he take out new cuts surface his skin, tiny red drops decorating the view with tiny red splashes, some of them were in the floor, some others in the top of the bottles, a few of them in their arms and face, but the majority were mixed with the liquor giving it a new rusty taste.

The booze had  made up effect and the flat felt so quiet, she could quickly fix that, she got up and take the first vinyl that she could grab it was one from Maggie’s shop, rightnow, there were not that many people that know what they sell, but that girl had at least an idea of what she was charging for, her previous generation wasn’t as enthusiastic as her, the dark circle started spinning just like Crowley’s head when he stood up to turn on the music, his head is such a cruel mean place that with just a few sound waves is already thinking of someone, someone that it’s not here, someone who won’t be here.

 He gets up and stops the music, almost falling to the ground due to the fast movement, but that is not enough, soon enough the smell of burnt plastic has filled out the entire apartment, Who even needs music? Or company? Or love?

Crowley takes another sip of the bottle, he feels so tired, this body wasn’t built for this, and after all he’s been through just this day alone he finally sleeps.

[aziraphales-library]

Lost Fic #143

1. Hey-o friend-os. There's a fic out there about Crowley getting his memory wiped by Beelzebub and Co. He's in the Bentley when it happens, crashes the car, is told that Aziraphale is dangerous and he must destroy the angel.But come on, we all saw that massive goofus on the wall. He takes one look at the angel and goes "Huh, I like him." Aziraphale is, of course, distressed but the two of them work together like they do, fall in love, like they do, and there's a happily ever after, like we like. I think there's a body swap? I cannot for the life of me find it in my AO3 history (I long for a searchable history) and desperately want to reread it. Any help? - @hkblack

2. Hello! First of all I'd like to thank you all for the work you do. It's amazing that you help other fans so much!I'm looking for a lost fic. It was a heavy angst fic. Aziraphale couldn't touch Crowley without causing him pain because of his holiness, but Crowley did not tell him this and hid his pain because he wanted to be touched by Aziraphale. If I remember correctly it had 2 chapters. In the first one Aziraphale discovered that he was hurting Crowley and left, in the second one Crowley persuaded him to touch him again because he wanted it and did not mind the pain.Thank you for your help! - @potato-dumpling-soup

3. hello! I am looking for a lost fic where aziraphale gives one of the them a t-shirt (?) with his tartan on it and crowley is kind of indignant that aziraphale is putting heaven’s tartan on stuff all the time and az is like ‘that’s not heavens tartan that’s my personal tartan’ and crowley is all of a sudden reevaluating all the times aziraphale gave him that tartan. I can’t remember anything else but it mostly centered around aziraphale’s tartan kind of marking his family - anon

4. i read a fic a long time ago and all i remember was aziraphale reading Terry Pratchett's "Mort" to Crowley in the back room of his bookshop. i'm not sure if it exists anymore but if you find it you're my hero /gen - anon

5. Hello, Iove the work you people do over here! There is this lovely fic, a short oneshot I read ages ago and would like to find again. The plot was basically Aziraphale slowly realizing over the ages how much he loves it when Crowley rescues him. I remember at the end Aziraphale doesn't defend himself from a robbery because Crowley was coming around so he waited for him to do it. Ring any bells? - anon

If you know any of these fics please include the number in your reply! Thank you :)

- Mod D

[lizardboy66]

for once in my life I’m not a hater and I have thoughts.

I keep seeing ppl say the ending was “bad” but like,,,it wasn’t??? it was narratively cohesive and intriguing and obviously really sad but to call this a “bad” ending or to compare it to the destiel confession scene is just incorrect in my opinion.

this isn’t queer bait, this isn’t burying any gays, it’s the logical progression of their very complicated and deeply repressed relationship!!! at the end of the day they both want the same thing - to be together and to be SAFE. Crowley, with his knowledge of heaven and his Fall knows that heaven can’t fix it, and he sees what Gabriel and beelzebub did and wants to do the same. Aziraphale has a fuck ton of growing to do and programming to unlearn before he can free himself from the status quo the same way Crowley has, and that’s why he chose heaven. (or maybe he was drugged but I think that’s much less interesting). Aziraphale is a judgemental and self righteous ANGEL at the end of the day, he has always been a follower, he left heaven much later than Crowley did and didn’t fully commit either, of course he still believes in a higher, greater Good that he can bring out in heaven to make a difference.

It’s all a very queer narrative of learning that The System is not built for you and never has been and that you have to reject it, and Crowley has always been miles ahead of aziraphale on this journey. To be honest, if he had suddenly abandoned all of his hope and faith and left with Crowley, I would have found that to be a bad ending. It wouldn’t have made sense, he wouldn’t be the haughty, prim and proper aziraphale that we know and love.

When we see shax taunting him about his worst fears, it’s still being a bad angel, it’s still the fact that he enjoys human food, demonic company and the fact that he is deviant. Until he works through his shame, he could never be with Crowley!!! He won’t let himself.

Crowley sees ineffable beurocracy win and he sees his future, aziraphale doesn’t. He hasn’t connected the dots quite yet. He still believes that the only way they can truly be safe and protected is in heaven, even when that is disproven right before his eyes minutes before he chooses to leave. He says “I need you” and “I forgive you” instead of “I love you” because he still can’t fathom that he is allowed to love Crowley, just the way he is.

This ending was so faithful to their characters, squishy sensitive Crowley finally confessing through stutters and gritted teeth, idealistic, brainwashed aziraphale misunderstanding everything and making the wrong choice. Aziraphale has always been less in touch with his emotions, his human side, it’s no wonder he still assumes that their happy ending is in heaven.

“We could have been US” - them as they are, the way they have always been versus “I forgive you” and wanting Crowley to become an angel again. It’s just so clear that they aren’t on the same page yet, aziraphale hasn’t taken the leap, he hasn’t freed himself from heaven, The System, his own false beliefs. Gay gay gay gay gay.

This is a complicated, queer narrative written FOR US!!! Neil gaiman saw what we saw and went “bet” and is giving us everything we could possibly want!!!! Sad endings aren’t bad endings, they are opportunities for the characters to grow and evolve. And I am elated that this is a story that gets to be told.

As long as we get season 3 (Amazon, PAY UR FUCKING WRITERS), all will be well my sweet summer chickens.

[nightlilly0110]

I want to point out some of the things I kinda noticed while watching GO Season 2, but I also binged it and stayed up until 2am, so taken with a grain of salt. Spoilers, of course.

Crowley’s romantic idea about falling in love is “huddling together under an awning in the rain” which means he probably fell for Aziraphale after he gave away the flaming sword and crowded under his wing.

Crowley also has the idea of having one kiss and that’s enough to make a relationship stick. Which means that was literally his last-ditch effort to get Aziraphale to like him back. And it failed in his eyes.

The way Crowley has his eyes uncovered when he’s giving his confession (he wants to be seen, he wants to be vulnerable) vs him putting his glasses back on before the kiss (he’s nervous and has to be brave)

Aziraphale nervously touching his lips after the kiss (and how he nervously leaned into it, even grabbing Crowley before realizing he shouldn’t be doing this) is a little similar to how he was licking at the food before trying it for the first time - he thought Crowley was trying to tempt him, hence the “I forgive you.” The forgiveness is not for him leaving (though I guess that counts too) but because he thinks Crowley tried to tempt him away from Heaven.

I know people are mad about the ending (don’t ask for a slow burn then complain when you get the slow burn) but all of Aziraphale’s flashbacks were leading up to that moment. All of his “you’re nice, you’re kind, you’re not so bad after all” is justification for him still spending time with Crowley even though he’s “one of the bad guys.” He still equates angels with good and demons with bad. Every good deed Crowley does makes Az think “there’s still a bit of angel in you” and not “you’re a nice demon” like most people are assuming. You could equate it as internalized homophobia, because it’s clear he cares for Crowley but thinks this is something he shouldn’t want, see above, re: temptation.

Like the above, Az doesn’t see Beez/Gabriel running away as an ideal. He thinks of their departure as a punishment despite it being what they wanted - he loves Earth too much to leave it, which is why he’d rather do good then just leave.

The spy saying something about the clarinet and the clarinet picking up in the background vs “do you hear that”/“I hear nothing” and the momentary silence.

The Metatron looked at Crowley before taking Az out of the bookshop. That was planned. Get rid of Gabriel and have a close eye on Az in the same move.

Az almost said no to the Metatron after the kiss and Crowley waited outside the shop to give Az one more chance to come with him.

The “pink and blue bit” that Az says he likes about the stars might be Alpha Centuri, which is where Crowley wants to run away to.

The kiss is very similar to the wall push in season one in the rough way Crowley executes it but also in the way that Az just lets it happen.

Muriel was at the window. They saw the kiss.

[bazzpop]

I went with a different approach than a shopping mall with this

To Breathe in Smooth

@flashfictionfridayofficial

London, Soho, 2008

Crowley didn’t smoke often.

Sure, he’d done it when it was in fashion (same as Aziraphale had), quit many times over the centuries (also same as Aziraphale had), but he always found himself starting back up again whenever he was stressed about something— especially when it was something entirely out of his control.

Tonight was one of those nights, having just been forced to deliver the very literal Son of Satan, The Antichrist, onto the world— the world he was quite fond of and didn’t want to end— and Crowley found himself desperately craving for the smooth burn of a good cigarette at the back of his throat as soon as the deed had been done. It would taste loads better than the rotten taste of Hell stuck in his mouth.

And so, shortly after convincing Aziraphale to join him in playing Godfathers to the Antichrist, Crowley had caved to that need.

He sobered up and bid the angel good night before, quite literally, taking off on dark wings and landing softly on the roof of the bookshop. Settling himself over the edge, legs dangling down over the street, Crowley reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a brand new pack of Pall Mall cigarettes that hadn’t been in there a moment prior.

He tapped the bottom of the box, forcing one of the cigarettes to pop up for him to take, and he called a tiny flame to the tip of his finger like a lighter. Real neat party trick, that, and one that Aziraphale seemed to like whenever they smoked together, but he hadn’t told the angel he planned on loitering up on his roof for the next few hours.

Not bothering to pocket the pack and put it away before he was done with it, he rested it next to him on the ledge and look a long, savoring drag off his first cigarette. The familiar taste of the smoke eased away some of the tension while he looked up at the stars he helped create, blowing smoke up into the sky.

The last time Aziraphale had seen Crowley light up a cigarette and take long drag off of it had been when he was in the planning phase of mapping out the corrections needed to turn the M-25 into the equivalent of a demonic prayer wheel. Though tonight, the night Crowley had delivered the Antichrist, Aziraphale could have sworn he smelled the familiar scent of the Pall Mall cigarettes, the same ones Crowley had preferred to smoke on and off since 1899, wafting in through the open window.

Closing his book, the angel made his way upstairs and onto the roof to investigate. He had a hunch he would find his demonic friend hanging around up there, most likely on the roof if he had to guess, chain smoking his stress away after this whole Antichrist business.

And his suspicions were confirmed when he saw the silhouette of a lanky figure with a shock of shoulder-length red hair perched over the edge of the building.

“You should have told me you were going out for a smoke, I would have joined you.” Aziraphale came right up behind the demon as he lit his finger for the next one, causing the poor dear to startle and almost falling off the ledge he was sitting on. He was definitely stressed, and anxious too, from what Aziraphale had observed thus far.

“Nhhh.”

“I see. Care to tell me why you’re out here inside of inside the shop, then?”

“Couldn’t smoke around your booksss,” Crowley bit his lip around the hiss that slipped out, “ your shop’s already flammable enough as it is, doesn’t need my help.”

“That’s very considerate of you, my dear, but—”

“‘M not considerate.” Crowley finished lighting up his fresh cigarette and breathed it in deeply, causing a decent amount of ash to accumulate on the end that he knocked off into the miraculously placed ashtray. He couldn’t remember if he’d summoned it or if Aziraphale just had.

“Oh, of course you aren’t.” Aziraphale said, knowing better. “Mind I bum one off you?”

“Starting up the nasty habit again, are you?” Crowley teased but still reached for his half empty pack while Aziraphale came around to sit next to him over the ledge, overlooking Whickber Street.

“Only when you do.” Aziraphale accepted the stick of rolled tobacco and placed it between his lips, unlit. “Ah, would you mind…?” He asked, expectantly raising an eyebrow, and waited for Crowley to summon a delightful tongue of fire on the top of his finger to give him a light. Crowley, as always, obliged him. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it, angel.”

They sat on the ledge for a while, enjoying the rare peace of a quiet London night while they steadily worked their way through the rest of the pack and filled the ashtray to the brim. Their minds still whirled with the thoughts of an impending apocalypse and back up plans they could use to weasel their way out of it just in case their original one went pear shaped (according to a certain angel) or tits up (according to a certain demon).

For now, though, those thoughts had quieted considerably for the first time since Crowley received a basket with a baby and from the time he’d given Aziraphale the news while getting absolutely sloshed. They had each other in this mess, they each could count on that.

Crowley rested his hand closer to the angel’s soft one, pinkies nearly touching with how close Crowley got without actually touching. Aziraphale noticed the demon’s carefully inched approach and, deciding to give into just a bit more temptation tonight, laid his hand over top of Crowley's night-air chilled one. Aziraphale was glad when Crowley hadn’t immediately pulled his hand away, though he’d stiffened at the touch at first, before he turned his hand over to lace their fingers together.

Aziraphale smiled and squeezed their joined hands reassuringly, letting Crowley know this was okay.

“Lovely night, isn’t it?” He asked softly, stubbing out his current cigarette. “Some brilliant looking stars up there, more than you can usually see on a night like this with London’s dreadful light pollution drowning them out.”

“Yeah, you could almost say it’s a miraculously clear night.”

“I bet it is, my dear.” Aziraphale leaned in closer, resting his head gently on Crowley’s shoulder while the demon started the last cigarette in the pack. “Would you like to come back in after this?”

“Isn’t it getting too late?”

“It is rather late, yes, but I’d rather not be alone tonight. I know I don’t usually allow you to spend the night, but would you be amicable? You could sleep on the couch, if you’d like, or we could have another drink?”

Crowley stubbed out the cigarette, only half finished, and eyed the angel over the top of his dark glasses. “Are you sure?”

“Positive. I really would prefer you stay here tonight— unless, that is, you have somewhere else you need to be.”

“Nope,” Crowley stood, vanishing the ashtray and empty carton into the nearest rubbish bin, “no where else to be.” He held out a hand to help Aziraphale up off the ledge.

“Splendid,” Azirpahale took it and levered himself up with Crowley’s support, dusting off his trousers as soon as he stood, “I’ll put the kettle on. Coffee or tea?”

“Could go for an Irish coffee with a very generous pour of that whiskey you used the last time you made it for me.”

“I think that can be arranged, my dear.”

“I’ll stay then.”

Together, hands still laced, they made their way back downstairs into the warmth and safety of the shop and its cosy backroom. They would certainly need to discuss things about their plan to avert the apocalypse at some point, but tonight was for them to enjoy.

After all, they were in the supposed End Times and it could all be over in the blink of an eye for them, better to enjoy what little time they might have left if their plan didn’t exactly pan out the way they wanted it to.

[goodluckdetective]

Fic: Falling

Fandom: Good Omens

A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48304483

Summary:

Crowley has very good reasons he doesn't want Aziraphale to fall. These are the reasons why.

Notes: This fic is actually quite old but Tumblr ate it when I first tried to post it back in 2019. So I cleaned it up and decided to shove it on here before the new season. Enjoy!

Contrary to what one may assume, Crowley has no desire to ever see Aziraphale fall. For good reasons, if you were to ask him on the subject. 

It’s painful, for one. Crowley might have sauntered vaguely downwards but the pain when he reached the landing that is Hell was the same as any other demon. It is hard to describe, pain is very much a human sensation, but the best comparison would perhaps be apt to being dunked under frozen water by barbed wire after being flayed alive (1). And while that initial pain eventually fades to that of a lingering cold in one’s bones (2), it is one Crowley would much rather like Aziraphale to avoid. It is not just a physical pain either; it is a harsh pang of loneliness in the most crowded of rooms, the ache of being the last person left at what was once a full table. Can the angel handle pain? Of course. Can the angel handle loneliness? Heaven made sure of that. But that does not mean Crowley wants him to suffer through it if it can be otherwise avoided.

Another small, but valid reason Crowley has no desire to see Aziraphale fall is simple: Aziraphale would be a terrible demon. It might be nice to work together in an official capacity, sure, but Aziraphale is not suited for the callous indifference and the minor inconveniences Hell specializes in. It is not that he is too soft, far from it (3), but Aziraphale wears his softness much like one wears a jacket. He finds the outstretched hand of kindness a nobler cause than the sword. And while kindness is forgotten in heaven these days, at least the angel is allowed to share his own on Earth somewhat freely. He may get in trouble for too many miracles, but he does not have to hide his care for performing them. But Hell?  Hell is never kind. 

Neither of those thoughts, while crucial concerns, are not the main reason Crowley hopes that Aziraphale will never fall. No, Aziraphale can not fall, because to fall is to lose faith. Faith in God, faith in humanity, faith in the world being kind. It is to doubt, to do it constantly, to never be quite sure that the move you are making is the correct one. Crowley knows doubt, it comes to him with every decision he makes, and the weight of it is far more painful than the lingering chill of hell’s flames. It is a doubt that does not allow for any faith in almost anything, not even in that of oneself. Doubt is the reason he puts on his sunglasses before he looks in the mirror some mornings, as if to pretend the yellow eyes are still an amber cold. 

 Doubt, the consuming kind that comes with being a demon, is the antithesis of Aziraphale.  Aziraphale who decided to believe God could have intentions for mankind other than their doom. Aziraphale who thought mankind could be good, if they were allowed to try. Aziraphale who gave his flaming sword to Adam believing he would use it wisely (4).

Aziraphale who saw a demon and decided that his faith, the most powerful thing an angel could have, could be placed with a snake who talked too loud, drank too much, and secretly loved mankind enough to die for them (5).

If Aziraphale were to fall, the loss of faith, the faith that things can be good, would be the end of him. He would survive, but as something else. Someone else. And Crowley rather likes the Aziraphale he knows now.

So screw Aziraphale falling. Crowley already did that for the both of them. He can do it again if asked. He’ll spend an eternity falling as long as Aziraphale keeps his faith in others tucked behind a fond smile.

(Falling for that smile, after all, is still the best type of falling Crowley has ever done.)

Footnotes:

1. This is not Crowley’s personal comparison of choice, as he thinks it rather medieval and far too dramatic. The barbed wire comparison was popularized by the demon Alostar, who Crowley thought was an “overly winded-prat with a terrible taste in ties.”

2. This Crowley has used as a description for the sensation, though he himself did not popularize it.

3. Anyone who has the misfortune of meeting Aziraphale during the fall of Rome, when he decided to save as many humans as he could with his two fists and a shard of pottery, would never consider calling Aziraphale soft. Ever.

4. Adam actually did use the sword wisely, mostly to set fires to keep warm and to slay beasts that threatened him and Eve. It would be his ancestors who would use the blade to shed the blood of their fellow men. 

5. Not that he would ever admit it. 

[queenpinesofdomino]

Here’s my theory on this.

Metatron had an argument with angel Crowley before he fell, I feel like angel Crowley actually got to speak with God themselves. That’s why Met doesn’t like him. Now i'm a firm Raphael/ Crowley believer here’s why.

He was “in the meeting room” when they created earth as seen at the gravity and weather comments

He remembers Metatron and has spoke to him

As we seen first episode he made the stars and the universe (big project if you ask me)

Arch-traitor (pretty on the nose)

I think he can “dim” himself as seen when he passed next to Michael and Uriel without understanding him OR he can lighten his aura (farfetched yes but they did mentioned gray shades)

He can recognize lower level angels as seen with Muriel

And the obvious one he, at some point had clearance on classified documents made "for Thrones or Dominios and Higher" 

Now I think that, Heaven can't actually replace an Archangel with anybody, BUT because Michael is a little power hungry Metatron (and maybe God) is trying to bring Raphael back to take the leading position. I think if Crowley went with them Aziraphale would have been cast aside or made Crowley’s assistant or smth.

Of course that could be Gods idea (cuz they’re all forgiving and all) or maybe they are having another bet with Satan. That’s why they showed us the Job sub-plot only this time they want to see what an angel and a demon would do.

 I also feel that Metatron, as a being, wants to lure Crowley in Heaven to punish him somehow I don’t know. Because think about it, he could put Aziraphale on Gabe’s position and ask Crowley to become a Duke that way they could still talk and work together like before but instead he manipulates Aziraphale by making the deal based on Crowley's "redemption".

Crowley fell because he was questioning the status quo. He saw how shitty Heaven was the moment they took down his stars. Then his decision kept being verifying by every step of “ the Great Plan”

That was what he was trying to teach Aziraphale. Whenever he was making him question the Great Plan and Heaven he was trying to make him see how fuck up they are. He himself was already questioning Hell already bc he had learned to question Heaven. That’s why he didn’t take anything seriously other than the End of the world.

He doesn’t want Aziraphale to fall tho cuz he knows he’s good. He never tried to tempt him into becoming a demon. He just wants him to see that they can be on the neutral side together.

I feel that Aziraphale kinda understood that after the finale of the 1st season. But now Metatron comes and tells him to become the boss so he thinks that he’s gonna change the way things are when CLEARLY Heaven wants a puppet to execute orders and also Aziraphale conveniently has experience in the Human world so they think that that is going to give them a head start for the next war.

Crowley clearly knows that but Aziraphale believes that by becoming the boss he can make a diffrence. I mean he could if it was up to him but it's not.

[if only I was this dedicated about my real life thesis]

[rubywines]

(Sorry in advance: unfortunately, English is not my first language but I felt the urge to speak up)

Everyone’s talking about how badly Crowley is hurt, and, God & others, I can imagine; it must be extremely hard time for him! Not with one single thought I ever underestimated his pain, I love Crowley so much and just hope that everything will get better. However, I really wonder why so few people talk about Aziraphale’s feelings? I doubt very much that he is completely on cloud nine – I mean, well, you get it.

We all agreed with the fact that heaven for him are like parents-abusers who have religiously traumatized him so much that he doesn’t even realize their toxicity now. And most of us also agreed that the following came out of the previous agreement – it was worth heaven ("parents") to throw him literally a grain of attention, say a couple of nice words and he rushed to them immediately. Not right away, of course, but think about it: your terribly conservative parents, who literally retell you Bible passages instead of giving real family advices, suddenly say, like, come home, our dear, we allow you to rearrange your room, hang a couple of posters and, oh, you can even bring your demon-boyfriend! (I'm sure for heaven and hell this kind of relationship is equal to homophobia on Earth, so forgive me for using gender so bluntly)

Doesn't that sound amazing? You don't even think about how many millimeters you now allowed to move your desk lamp, because they said you can take your demon-boyfriend with you who will – wait for it – cease to be demon and you will finally have a chance together! Hurray! But stop, it seems you forgot that your demon-boyfriend doesn't want your heaven-room, which you will gladly rebuild just for him, or the opportunity to draw stars on the ceiling again. He just wants to be with you, on "your" side.

And you can't do that.

Aziraphale is an angel who saw all the crimes of heaven, did not agree with them and still continued to believe that "it’s the side of truth, of light". "Of good". Though he himself was absolutely petrified with all this killing of Job’s children theme, for example. He just can't stop. After all, it’s only for us 6,000 years – a hella lot of time, when he is sorely lacking it. He didn’t fall like Crowley, heaven hasn’t yet rejected him "truly" to see everything. And every day, every hour that he spends next to Crowley is at the same time great, fun, exciting but also damn hard: he has to adjust to the person (demon!!) who is "too fast" for him to have an opportunity to just continue their communication. I'm actually lucky not to know how Aziraphale really feels, but I can imagine how hard it is to convince yourself that there is nothing wrong with such suspiciously pleasant interactions with Crowley, because, think, he does good things too! Demons don't do good but he does, so it means that he's good, right, perfect, and that maybe God made a tiny little mista—

I'm sure when he first came to this idea, he was afraid for his life. How could he think SUCH a thing about God, really? And can everything that is happening be a test – although God ("parent") obviously wouldn’t ever waste her time just to test him, of course, yes, but still, is it possible..? Is Crowley really his "apple"?

To Aziraphale's surprise, no matter how many times he "refuses" Crowley, they still get closer, stay together, gravitate towards each other; haha, it can't be that Aziraphale, an angel (!!), really do likes— Oh, Crowley saved his books, how un-demonic! 🥰🤗

Aziraphale loves his life on Earth so much, everything is fine with him, just wonderful, but does he think deep down that he deserves it? All his comfortable existence, and books, and music, and delicious food, and everything that he adores, he’s ready to sacrifice without hesitation for someone's happiness, because he has not ceased to be an angel – in our case, he sacrifices "himself" for Crowley's happiness, because when did he see him genuinely happy last time? Oh, right, when he was an angel and created stars. So fine, be it – they will go to a white skyscraper, where there is absolutely nothing that Aziraphale loves, but at least they finally can love each other, right? Is that… Is that right?

Turns out – no, unfortunately.

Aziraphale cannot so easily turn himself inside out and free from what makes him consider himself "just one of the other angels", he needs to finally see with his own eyes how toxic heaven is. And only then will he be able to escape and begin to change (and not only acquire interests and hobbies).

Crowley seems to be trying to explain to the child of abusive parents that no, you absolutely must not feel obliged to return to them at the first call after everything they have done, no, "you are better than that, angel". In vain. But I think deep down he understands.

And the most painful thing is that Aziraphale loves Crowley, really does. He loves him so much, infinitely, but doesn’t dare to admit it even to himself, fearing that God he is supposed to serve will hear these "shameful" thoughts and get angry. When he can get rid of the fear that the heavens are watching his slightest movement, then he will probably understand what Crowley was trying to tell him.

In the meantime, he believes that Crowley's hatred of heaven is greater than love for him. So do you truly think it doesn't hurt Aziraphale at all?