Didn't wait for an answer, here's a selection of the funniest random observations I made while reading a terrifying amount of Moon Knight last year:
Werewolf by Night #32:
I shouldn't be shocked seeing how I'm starting on the 32nd issue of an obscure comics character but I have. Zero clue what's going on.
"I've never been celibate when it comes to curiosity" why would you phrase it like that.
"Out to do my job and collect my bread" *thinks of the meme and tries not to scream-laugh in public*
Marvel Spotlight #28
This dude is really calling himself Conquer Lord and has an alligator pit, comics are WILD
Marvel Two-in-One #52
...he...he tried to kill me with a forklift...
Moon Knight #1
Marlene get it together damn
Okay no but actually Marc immediately getting up, rambling cryptic nonsense, stealing a cloak off a statue, and then running to kill a guy is so on brand.
Moon Knight #4:
"The flash blinded me!!" smug matt murdock laughter
Moon Knight 6:
"I don't much like Marc Spector" the more things change etc. etc. etc.
"Kill the Americans" *frenchie voice* EXCUSE YOU-
Moon Knight 7:
WE HAVE THE MUSTACHE LADIES AND GENTS, WE HAVE THE MUSTACHE
"Speaking of your precious pretty boy millionaire" JAKE PLEASE LMAOOO
Moon Knight 10:
Ah yes, a mental breakdown while soaking wet...classic.
"Emotionally turbulent public chauffeur" I am ONLY calling Jake that from now on
PLEASE NOT HIM ALAS POOR YORICK-ING ON A GARGOYLE...
Moon Knight 12:
What in the Russian Sleep Experiment is going on here on this day
Moon Knight 16:
Invoking Diana and Charles aged very badly lmao
Moon Knight 22:
How many car crashes has Frenchie been in this run?? Like three or four by now????
Moon Knight 27:
"What's the going price for a cop" JACOB LOCKLEY LMAO
NOT THE KINGPIN, MATT WHERE ARE YOU
"The Kingpin can wait until another day" *muffled matt voice* NO PLEASE HE'S YOUR PROBLEM NOW COME BACK
Moon Knight 28:
"If you're lucky, you don't wake for a week" PRETTY sure that's called a coma
"You both deserve a kiss" I can promise you, Khonshu does not
Moon Knight 34:
0/10 they made Gena cry
Moon Knight 35:
"The man's determination is both inspiring and frightening." That's it, that's the system.
Moon Knight 37:
"Bottled up hostility and fists, fists, fists." That's why you're not allowed to hang out with Daredevil
Fist of Khonshu 4:
I hate that this version of the mask has lips
Fist of Khonshu 6:
This run was kind of ass, full offense.
West Coast Avengers Collection:
Wait why are they putting Tony in a special tank for the suit...just take the suit???
PLEASE NOT CLEA FLIRTING WITH BEN FRANKLIN
Moon Knight doesn't show up until almost 80% of the way through, I want my money back.
"The Temple of Khonshu" ABOUT TIME YOU SHOWED UP, YOU STUPID PIGEON
"Time has split in seven" please stop splitting time...
West Coast Avengers 31-37:
Marc voice: sorry babe, just dissociating and chatting with my moon god
I'm sorry, Doctor Doom Norted a boy?????
Marc: I have a plan *immediately gets beamed in the head by a mace*
Tigra: Is...is that the plan?????
WAIT HE'S BEEN POSSESSED BY KHONSHU THIS WHOLE TIME???
Everyone: wow, ain't love grand
Bobbi: I'm divorcing Clint
Marc Spector: Moon Knight 9
Okay as much as I like unkillable Marc, it is a little funny when he's walking around complaining about his ribs
Amazing Spider-Man 353-358
Midnight really does look like Eren Jaegar and it's distracting
Did Frank. Did Frank really just risk blowing his cover to make a pun.
Daken: Dark Wolverine 15:
"The fact that I may collapse any second from blood loss begs to differ" Marc I am begging you to get to a hospital.
Moon Knight (2014) - Wood Edition:
Marc showing up looking homeless with a dusting of his own blood = SO ON BRAND
AND THEN IMMEDIATELY GETTING HIS ASS KICKED Marc, never change
MARC SPECTOR HAVING A NORMAL ONE
Moon Knight (2016) - Lemire Edition:
FINALLY BACK BABY LET'S GO
I'm sorry but the fact that this IS all in Marc's head and he's remember his friends with such fondness is...I'm emo...
"I'm nothing without my friends, Gena" screaming crying frothing at the mouth etc.
"Maybe my job was just to get us here. Give you a chance to rest." SCREAMING. CRYING. ETC. ETC.
Absolutely hate that his "dying" thoughts are of his friends, Lemire I'm coming for you personally
"I'll see Gena. She'll know what to do." tries not to scream in public
"That's a very specific lead, Crawley" all of his leads are like that my dude
Steven just watching Anput bite that dude's throat like "oof sucks for that guy. anyway-"
Moon Knight (2017) - Suffering in the Bemis Run:
Oh she is about to make this so much worse.
OH YOU MADE IT SO MUCH WORSE
"The inspector holmes of kung fu madmen" what am I READING, what YEAR IS IT???
"Marc Spector can be overly confident" that's the first correct thing you've said all issue, dude
I don't like the use of "psychopath" as an insult but someone (presumably Steven or Jake but MAYBE Khonshu) putting Marlene in his phone as "let it go" IS pretty funny [Note from present me: My theory for this is that it was Steven, since as of the Mackay run only Marc and Jake still seem to have strong feelings for her.]
Kicking his flaming pants onto Sun King was definitely not beneath him. That's extremely on brand.
Guys I'm tired...
Doctor Strange Damnation:
"In, but out of his mind" oh this is already gonna get exhausting
"Try not to kill any of them. That means you, Knight" HI, HELLO, BLADE IS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE, JOHNNY BURNS PEOPLES' SOULS OUT, WHY ARE YOU SINGLING HIM OUT???
I'M NOT GONNA READ GHOST RIDER TO UNDERSTAND WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE SHUT UP
Avengers: Age of Khonshu (oh boy):
Thor with baby! Thor with baby!!
"Consorting with moon wizards" STILL NOT THE WEIRDEST THING HE'S EVER DONE
"quivering chicken-god" HEY only we're allowed to call him that! (there is something weirdly wholesome about Marc taking the lead, though)
I've only had Robbie Reyes for five seconds but I'd commit a felony for him
YOU'RE ARRESTING KHONSHU???? YOU CAN'T ARREST KHONSHU???????
Okay update, I guess Thor can arrest Khonshu. I hope they go for the punishment of having Loki throw birdseed at him for the next couple thousand years.
T'Challa: You should join up with us now that we're done fighting.
Marc, thinking about how everyone called him crazy BEFORE he did some dumb boneheaded shit, and how much worse it'll be now that he beat up Thor: Y'know what i'm GOOD, THANKS-
Moon Knight - MacKay Edition:
VAMPIRE MLM, TRULY THE FACE OF EVIL
Man, Marc is just trying to turn a new leaf, help some people, and people REALLY CANNOT JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE, HUH...militant atheists on one hand, religious extremists on the other, my dude needs a NAP
"You lost me at 'destroy our enemies' but I appreciate the effort" Reese I'd die for you I hope you know that
"And that makes us brothers" Marc this is why you've gotta start hanging out with Jake and Steven again, every other brother you've had has sucked lmao
"You know I can see in the dark, right?" "You know I can't, right?" D&D parties with the token human be like-
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