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ibelieveinahappilyeverafter · 5 years

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Hi, I have some questions of advice, because I too want to be a commission writer. First, I have a PayPal account, I have not used it because I plan on using it for tumblr, how do I easily link it with my Tumblr account so I can get paid? And how do you get noticed as a commission writer on tumbr? For the longest time I have been writing for free but now I need to make the extra money, so how do I get noticed on tumblr as a commission account?

Hello! I wasn’t at all expecting a question like this, but will be all too happy to answer! I will be putting a Read More under this answer since it’s quite long, but essentially I will be going over the basics of PayPal, Growing Your Audience, Marketing Yourself, Pricing and Terms, and Commission Alternatives.

First, a little backstory for those who don’t already know why I find myself qualified to discuss this. I’m a freelance commission writer, which means I take monetary commissions for writing very much like an artist would take commissions for art. In my case, I specialize in fanfiction and certain fandoms, but I do offer original work if anyone wishes for it.

(tl;dr - I write people what they want to read for money.)

Keep in mind this ‘guide’ is only so comprehensive where I’m still learning about all of this myself, but for further reading there are dozens of commissions artists who have put their own wisdom online and many of the same practices can be used (and you might be able to use this guide even if you’re an artist). So, let’s start with PayPal!

PayPal

First, to answer your original question, you cannot ‘link’ your PayPal to your Tumblr account, but there are a few other things you can do.

What most people do is that they have a ‘button’ on their Tumblr pages that allow for PayPal donations. This is where you’ll be able to click the button, which acts much like a subscribe button would on other websites, and you’ll be taken to a PayPal page where you’ll be able to donate however much you please. A guide on how to add a PayPal donation button to your Tumblr page can be found here: https://www.jessicamullen.com/2011/02/17/how-to-put-a-donate-button-on-your-tumblr-blog-or-website/

If you still find yourself confused, doing a Google search on ‘how to put paypal donate button on website’ or ‘on tumblr’ yields many more results.

Another thing you can do, that I personally do myself, is linking your accounts. What this means can apply to many different things, but let me take you over a few of the quick basics.

With PayPal, please keep in mind that it is not a bank but a money lending service. What this means is that you should not keep large amounts of money in your PayPal account at any one time as it is dangerously easy to lose that money. A good way to solve this is to link your bank account to your PayPal account.

Linking your bank account allows you to transfer your funds in PayPal to your bank account, the timing usually being 1-3 business days, but being completely free. If you send $54.21 to your bank, then $54.21 will appear in your bank. Here is a WikiHow article on how to link your bank account to your PayPal, but please keep in mind that a Google Search will turn up even more results: https://www.wikihow.com/Link-Your-Bank-Account-to-Your-PayPal-Account

Another link you could do, in a sense, is to use the same email for your Tumblr and your PayPal. While this does not need to be done, I personally do it to allow for easier correspondence between everything I do. No matter what, though, make sure the email you give to any potential customers or clients is the same email you use for your PayPal, as this helps make things easier in the long run.

The reason for this is due to PayPal Invoices.When doing commission work, you should always, if possible, use a PayPalInvoice to accept payments on what you do. This allows not only for a papertrail, but it’s a safer way to handle money and not unexpectedly lose it ifyou’re working with a rotten client (of which there can be many in today’sworld).

As this is a more complicated process, here is a YouTube video on how to create and send PayPal Invoices: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNr1_4vPY5c : but what you’re essentially doing is laying a paper trail andgetting a receipt, which allows you to keep track of any and all funds you makethrough your commission work (which proves useful for taxes if you make enough or fall within a certain bracket).

At the basics you will create an invoice, write down the price of what you are getting paid, leave any thank you notes or Terms of Service notes (such as giving refund information and so on), and then send it to the mail your client gives you. Please keep in mind that once the invoice is paid and the money appears in your account, you will need to do further steps.

When the money appears after a paid invoice it will have a blue notice on it that says NEEDS ATTENTION, although sometimes it doesn’t and this is where you will need to be vigilant, and this means you will click it and it will take you to a page asking for shipping information. If you are doing digital goods such as writing in this case, you will need to click a dropdown menu that will talk about your shipping options. You will need to click Order Processed and then accept the change which will allow PayPal to know that there will be no physical shipping done. Take a look at the picture below for an example.

This is very important as, if you do not do this, PayPal will think you are scamming your client and refund the money to them, so always be sure to do this step. If you’re uncertain, there are many PayPal help guides through a Google Search, or just on Tumblr. I have a few articles tagged on my own blog that have proven helpful: https://ibelieveinahappilyeverafter.tumblr.com/tagged/paypal

While PayPal can be difficult to work with, it helps in leaving an official and legal trail that allow you to track your funds, which is an excellent thing in today’s world. Hopefully, this section helped you get through at least the basics.

Growing Your Audience

Commissions are a wonderful way to interact with the community you’re a part of and make money at the same time, but it won’t prove as helpful if you don’t know how to grow the audience that will be after your work.

First, and most obvious I believe, is finding your audience. What this means is that if you plan to write fanfiction for commissions, then be active in the fandoms you hope to gain clients from. Post your writing of stories, headcanons, ideas, and get people’s attention on your work. It’s also a great idea to interact with people on your posts, get personal, and make a name for yourself.

For me, personally, I’ve been actively writing in fandoms for well over a decade of my life, primarily with Danny Phantom, Gravity Falls, and, these days, My Hero Academia. I have been attempting to do writing commissions since sometime in 2015, but it was not until this year that I began to see clients because of my involvement within My Hero Academia, which is a large, popular, and ongoing fandom.

If you don’t currently have any ties to the larger or higher traffic fandoms, then there are times where you will have to remove your feelings from the equation and get into fandoms that you didn’t think you would like. A large part of this is that you are now doing a job and this is a business, and that means you need to notice trends and follow the crowds.

What I mean by that is that if you see social media fixating around a new fandom, hop into it, start writing, and gather people’s attention. A new fandom, especially, is great because this means fanart and fanfiction is limited, and people will be searching for good stories for the characters they love.

A big reason I use Tumblr is because of the follower count. If I start posting for new fandoms, then I can watch my follower count to see if I’m gaining or losing an audience and whether the gain vs loss is worth it. Personally I’ve moved on from Danny Phantom in many ways because there is no one willing to pay to consume work there these days, but that’s not so in other fandoms.

If you think this advice is harsh or not something you’ll be able to do, then try to focus on growing an audience in what you do like, but keep in mind it might not be as profitable as you’re expecting.

Growing your audience is a long, involved, and on-going process. It won’t happen overnight, but just starting and noticing the trends of what is happening is a great place to begin.

Marketing Yourself

As I mentioned in the last section, you are now running a business that is you, yourself, and I, essentially, and that means you now need to think as a business owner. In today’s world that starts with social media.

Social media isn’t just a way to keep up on memes, but it’s a way to let people know what you do, what you can do, and what you’re willing to do. Tumblr is a great place for writers as it’s a blogging platform that allows for the sharing and expansion of ideas (even with all the flaws it has today), but there are other social media sites that will allow you to market yourself and what it is you can do.

Tumblr allows you to post large portions of your writing and entire stories in a way that’s easy to read and easy to share. It also allows you to monitor your following count and have an archive of past work you’ve done, one that’s easily taggable so people can see examples of your work whenever they wish. It’s also an easy way to always have your commissions information (such as prices) available by making it a page on your blog. For now, I’ve found this is the best place to have the core of your business and commissions (especially if you’re involved in fandom).

Twitter allows for quick thoughts, quick links, and quick information. This is a good site to use for updates on your commissions, links that will bring in traffic to your tumblr, and growing a user base that’s more personable with you. This has as many drawbacks as it does advantages, but remember that while you don’t want to share your life story, customer service is a big part of commissions. Put on your retail smile and speak softly.

Instagram is typically a better site for artists, but writers can use it either to showsnippets of stories as captions under relevant pictures, to network withartists who will be able to help you in the future, and even just posting inprogress shots of some of your stories if you wish.

Facebook is not a website I have much experience in, but you can use it to start a page and have your clients comment and talk about the stories you’ve done for them. It’s a good place for testimonials and local based work, but not as good for digital goods such as writing and art.

The goal of all of this is to brand yourself. What do you write? What do you want to be known for writing? Are you a writer whose easy to work and get along with? Have your clients been happy with the work you produce for them? Are you worth whatever prices you set?

A brand isn’t just a catchy logo that people remember, it’s what you’re known for best, like Payless being known for affordable footwear. What sort of writing do you want to be known for is the question you will be trying to answer when doing your commissions work, although this doesn’t mean you have to work alone.

Earlier I mentioned networking with artists who can help you in the future, and this is because artists and writers can work together. If you’re having a hard time pushing your commissions, consider approaching an artist you know, one who is doing their own commissions, and suggest a 50-50 split to team up together, writing for a client and then drawing an accompanying picture.

While this may not be as profitable as commissioning on your own, it will allow you to grow your audience and client base as you will be showing your work to the artists’ audience, which means they can become yours, too. It’s a great way to spread your audience, work with other artists, and be a bigger part of whatever community you become a part of.

Overall, remember to always have sample work and examples posted where your clients can find them easily, be personable and friendly when dealing with those who buy from you, and keep in mind what exactly it is you’re trying to sell.

Pricing and Terms

There is no one good way to price your art. Every writer and artist is different and every writer and artist will continue to be different. While you and your skills are worth money, it is good to keep in mind that this is now a business and your prices, while reflective of your skill, must also be affordable to the audience you cater to. If you tend to write for an audience that is mostly teeangers and young adults, it might do to start with lower prices and work your way up to higher prices as you gain experience and clients.

This section is short as, truly, there really is no clear and cut pricing guide for your work, but below is a sample of my commission prices that I have settled on for the time being if you wish for an example.

*500-999 words = $5

*1,000-1,999 words = $10

*2,000-2,999 words = $18

*3,000-3,999 words = $24

*4,000-4,999 words = $28

*5,000-5,999 words = $30

*6,000,6,999 words = $36

*7,000-7,999 words = $42

*8,000-8,999 words = $48

*9,000-9,999 words = $54

*10,000-10,999 words = $60

*Complete Story: 30,000 - 40,000 words = flat rate of $250

*Editing: flat rate of $10

When it comes to your ‘terms,’ this means that you need to decide what you will not write. A lot of writers who take commissions for subjects they’re not comfortable writing means they don’t write their best and, many times, say they regretted taking the commission at all. You don’t need to explicitly state what you will not write when you post your commission information, but be sure to have a list in mind so you can decline clients when they contact you. For an example of a commission page, here’s mine: https://ibelieveinahappilyeverafter.tumblr.com/commissions

Commission Alternatives

Now that we’ve gone through all of that, there is still the chance you will fail the first time you open your commissions. I have had commissions open for many years but, as I said, I did not start gaining business until this year. So, in case that happens to you, here are a few alternatives you can use; ones that I personally use myself.

Patreon is “a crowdfunding membership platform based in the United States that provides business tools for creators to run a subscription content service, with ways for artists to build relationships and provide exclusive experiences to their subscribers, or “patrons.”” What this means is that it allows you to provide exclusive content to those who pay you on a monthly basis.

In the case of writing this means you could post exclusive content behind a paywall, typically $3 to $5 per month, and those who enjoy your writing will pay to see it. Keep in mind that it takes hard work and some luck to do well on Patreon and I, personally, still only have a few Patrons to my name.

A good way to boost and advertise your patreon, however, is to place it on each story or long post you personally make and post, as this will give people an idea of what you write and allow them to check out your Patreon for good information. My typical tagline is:

⍣ I have a Patreon! Support me!⍣

Ko-Fi “allows creators like you to receive money from fans of your content. Create your page and button and share it anywhere on the web. Anyone who clicks your link can support you with a ‘Ko-fi’ (a small payment that is roughly equal to the price of a coffee).” What this means is that when you make a Ko-Fi anyone who ‘buys you a coffee’ is giving you $3, and they can stack the coffees so if they buy you 5 coffees then that’s $15.

A good thing I like about Ko-Fi is that they are automatically linked with PayPal, so when you sign up all the money you make goes directly into your account there. A thing to keep in mind, however, is that you must check order processed on all Ko-Fi payments on your PayPal like you would with an invoice. Each Ko-Fi you get must be individually attended to, but it’s a good, safe way to get one-time donations. You can also tag it on all your writing posts like so:

☪ I have a tip jar! Buy me a coffee!☪

There are a few other alternatives to Writing Commissions, but those are the two I use, trust, and know best, but if you see some other avenue don’t be afraid to explore it!

Last Advice

Let me begin by saying all the information in this guide is by no means comprehensive, but can apply to art and original work just as well as it can writing commission fanfictions. The point is to market yourself, find an audience who will buy your work, and keep churning out work as much as you can.

Another thing to keep in mind is that this will not be easy. For every writer I’ve seen offering commissions, there are a hundred more artists with their own commissions drowning it out (which is why I recommend teaming up with artists when and where possible).

I have been writing in online spaces since roughly 2009-2010, but I didn’t have the idea to start writing commissions until 2015. It’s only been this year that I have been contacted to write and have successfully made money off of my work.

A large part of this is finding the right following, but don’t be afraid to interact and be a part of a community. Writing is an expression of art and an amazing experience, especially in fandom circles where communities are forming everyday, but writing for money turns it into a business, and that means you need to learn how to market yourself and prove that your skills are worth the amount you ask for.

I hope you’re successful in whatever you choose to do and I further hope that this guide proved helpful. Write well and happy days!

#writing commissions #writing #commissions #how to #guide #my writing #everafterasks #Anonymous #original

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dragon-temeraire · 5 years

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Rising (Part Two)

Part two of my phoenix Stiles fic! (Part One)(Part Three)(On AO3)

It takes a few more days to get Lydia’s commission just right, but it’s worth it when he sees how happy she is. Most of his business is done through the mail, so getting to see the reaction to something he’s custom-made in person is a novelty.

He ends up splitting his time fairly evenly between the forest, his workshop, and the store. He doesn’t typically get many customers during store hours, so he mainly spends them clicking around on his laptop, researching whatever random thing he wants to know, or answering emails from prospective clients.

He’s also started to truly tend to the forest, carefully burning accumulations of leaves and dried brush and making way for new, fresh life. But he’s only worked in the area surrounding the Nemeton, too worried to venture further out in case he misses seeing Derek.

He’s a little bit embarrassed about that.

He shouldn’t be developing a crush on a reticent, emotionally distant werewolf.

Except that he really isn’t, not anymore. Because Derek, through their gradually lengthening conversations, has begun to open up. He’s lost much of his stoicism; his expressions are softer and less guarded when he’s with Stiles, and he shares more of what he’s thinking and feeling. It’s like the real Derek is being slowly revealed to him, little by little, and Stiles finds he’s very much enjoying the process.

It has taken time, though, to get through Derek’s shell, and that’s never more obvious than when he looks at the sapling in the center of the Nemeton. It has continued to grow larger, trunk thickening and branches spreading, so that a canopy of leaves now covers the massive stump in dappled shade. It’s a nice place to forge or sketch, or even just relax, and Stiles takes full advantage.

But sometimes he sits beneath that tree, feeling the pure magic flowing through it, and thinks that, despite everything he’s learned, some parts of Derek are still a complete mystery to him.

Stiles hangs out with Scott and his friends again, this time at Lydia’s house for a pool party.

He’s not much for swimming, but he dangles his feet in the water and happily soaks up the sun. He talks a little about the places he’s been, the traveling he’s done, and he’s surprised at everyone’s interest until he realizes most of them have never left California.

Someone—Stiles thinks his name is Danny—starts asking Stiles’ opinion on the places he wants to move to after he gets his degree, and someone else passes him a beer while he answers. He accepts it, even though alcohol doesn’t do anything for him, and sips it idly as the conversation shifts to everyone’s post-graduation plans.

It’s a strange feeling, when they continue to ask his advice, because he’s essentially the same age they are, yet he’s almost being placed in a mentor role. It’s odd to realize that your life has matured you, and that it has set you apart from everybody else.

He happens to glance at Allison then, who’s sitting apart from everyone else, not really participating in the conversation at all. It seems like there’s something different about her, like the core of her has become steadier, stronger, and he’s surprised by the rapid change. But then he sees her running her fingers over her new bracelet, a small smile on her face, and he suddenly feels lighter.

No matter how different he is, what he does matters.

By this point, Stiles has heard numerous stories about Derek’s betas, and the trouble they get themselves into—they may be powerful werewolves, but at heart they’re still teenagers—and appreciates the fondness in Derek’s voice when he talks about them. But he finds it surprising that an alpha werewolf would be content with a pack of three. Especially when, from what he can tell, it’s been that way for years.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” he says then, because he suddenly has to know. “But you don’t really act that much like an alpha.” Granted, Stiles has only encountered a few himself—and has only been chased out of a territory once—but those he’s met have been aggressive and intense, running their packs with a firm hand and very little patience.

Into the silence following Stiles’ words, Derek says heavily, “I wasn’t supposed to be. But when the time came, I was the only one left.”

Understanding hits Stiles then, along with the realization that Derek had lost everything, and the only thing he’d gained in return were alpha powers. And he’d somehow managed to survive, to pull himself together and rise up from his tragedy, and even, slowly, build himself and his life anew.

An intense wave of empathy burns at his throat, wells in his eyes, and he finds himself unable to say anything; doesn’t know what he’d say if he could.

But Derek keeps talking, like it’s something he has to say, so Stiles does his best to swallow down the ache and give him his full attention.

“My mother was never the relentless, power-hungry kind of alpha. She of course had her strength, her abilities, but she mostly used them to make us all feel loved, safe. We were all part of the same pack, so she felt it was important to let everyone be involved in decisions, and she never hid anything from us. She kept us unified, and taught us how to blend in with humans, but made sure we were proud of who we were.” He takes a gulping breath. “My father was her second, a grounding force who was steady and kind, though he showed his teeth if he needed to. We lived in peace for years, on friendly terms with all the other packs nearby, and we felt like we could handle anything.”

The words have a sort of longing ache to them, and Stiles can’t help but lean his shoulder against Derek’s, hoping the contact might help, even just a little.

“When she—when they—I knew I was never going to be an alpha like her, and at first I didn’t even try to be,” Derek says, letting out a heavy breath. “I was full of grief and anger and hate, and I just wanted something, someone, I could control. All I had left to hold on to was my mother’s alpha status, and I made a mockery of it.”

He can feel the tension in Derek’s body, and ventures hesitantly, “But something must have changed, because you’re not like that now. And your betas clearly care about you.”

“It was a long road,” Derek says tiredly, rubbing at his eyes.

He talks about the things he and his pack had to face, and how his withholding of information often made things much worse, especially in the way it eroded the little trust he’d earned from his betas. How Boyd and Erica had nearly died, and how they’d almost broken ties and left him. He tells Stiles that he’d been willing to let them go, even knowing it would weaken him when he most needed strength. They deserved better than him. And he speaks, voice full of shame, about how he’d purposely tried to drive Isaac away.

And how he’d come to realize that his fear of being vulnerable, his fear of making attachments that mattered, had almost lost him his chance at another family, another pack. One he could protect, and in turn, would protect him.

Stiles listens until Derek’s voice runs out, lets them both rest in the quiet that follows. He feels a solidarity with Derek, and finds he wants to share something of himself, the way Derek has shared with him. So, when Derek’s breathing has steadied, Stiles begins to speak.

“My mom was a phoenix, like me. After she died, I lost it. I went completely out of control. I started fights with people twice my size, I took completely unnecessary risks, and I was always trying to push myself beyond my limits.”

He’d gotten cuts and bruises and broken bones, but he hadn’t cared, not when he could burn himself away and emerge, fresh and new. No pain lingered long enough to make him hesitate. And he hadn’t even tried to stop himself, not until he realized what he was really breaking was his father’s heart, and that was something that couldn’t be healed by phoenix powers.

“My mom was really sick when she was pregnant with me, and she had to regenerate pretty often. It got better once I was born, but she was still sick a lot, and toward the end it always took a long time for her to emerge from the ashes,” Stiles says, and finds his voice is trembling. Deep down, he knows that her death is due, at least in part, to his existence.

“My dad thinks that’s why she died—because she had to regenerate so many times. Like, maybe we only have a finite number of rebirths in our lifetime. And it terrifies him that I’ve done it so much, especially being as young as I am. He’s afraid he’s going to lose me.”

He tells Derek about all of the moving, how it was a necessity because of the trouble Stiles got himself into, and because the longer he was stuck in one place, the more reckless he got. His dad was trying to mitigate damage in both respects, so they got used to packing light and traveling often.

No place they’d been had ever really helped that much, though.

“Has it happened here?” Derek asks curiously. “Have you regenerated since you got here?”

“No, not once,” Stiles says, thinking back. He’s been in Beacon Hills for more than a month, and he hasn’t done anything uncontrolled or dangerous at all.

Except for accidentally invading an alpha werewolf’s territory, but that had turned out fine.

“Seems like things are getting better for you, too,” Derek says.

He’s surprised he doesn’t have nightmares about his mom that night.

He usually does, after he talks about her, which is why he and his dad avoid the topic so strenuously.

When he does dream about her, he sometimes dreams of the times they’d drive out to the middle of nowhere, looking for somewhere they could be entirely out of sight. His dad would lean against the side of the car and watch fondly as he and his mom would transform and fly.

Stiles would always try to impress him with his acrobatics, turning on his wing, looping and diving, while his mom flew above him in slow, watchful circles. Flying with her always made him feel completely free, and so full of happiness that he always burned brighter. When it was time to leave she’d call to him in her soft, melodic voice, and though he never wanted to go, he’d always follow her down to land.

But most of the time, when he dreams about her, it’s the moments before her death. The dreams always make him relive, with perfect clarity, the sharp stab of fear he’d felt when she’d sunk down onto the grass, and shifted into a phoenix one last time. And as the flames blazed higher, she’d looked at him with such love and hope that he’d thought, for a moment, that everything would be fine.

He only considers them nightmares because, in the moment between sleeping and waking, he forgets that she’s not still with him.

#sterek #eternalsterek #phoenix stiles #alpha derek #healing #my fic

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mst3kproject · 6 years

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509: The Girl in Lover’s Lane

This is a movie about drifters, which works, because the story just kind of drifts.

A kid named Danny has decided to run away from home and be a hobo in order to make his parents sorry for getting a divorce. He’s inexperienced at hoboing, so finds an older, more experienced hobo named Biggs, who promises to show him the ropes of hobohood in return for Danny paying all his bills. The pair stop in a town called Sherman, where Biggs falls in love with Carrie the waitress in between repeatedly saving Danny from his own stupidity. Just when Biggs is on the verge of throwing in the hobo towel and settling down, Carrie is murdered and the town decides her boyfriend must’ve done it, despite the guy with the big neon STALKER! sign over his head who’s been hanging around for the whole movie.

When I say this movie drifts, it’s because it seems to take a while for it to make up its mind whose story this is. The first bit, where Biggs saves Danny from some thugs at the railway yard, makes it look like we’re about to see a movie about naïve little Danny learning to survive in the big wide world. Biggs teaches him to hitchhike, to fight, to avoid sketchy hookers, and everything else a good hobo needs to know. Danny doesn’t get a lot of character development, though, so as long as we assume the movie is about him, stuff just seems to be happening at random. When it finally settles down to being about Biggs, the audience has to stop and re-examine the first half to figure out what we were supposed to be paying attention to.

I’m not going to pretend for a minute that The Girl in Lover’s Lane is anything but boring and sexist, or that it’s ending isn’t a lousy, gratuitous downer. It does seem to have a few things to say, though, so I’m going to focus on that because it’ll be less depressing. The biggest ‘lesson’ of this movie, the one that qualifies as the Moral of the Story and probably the one writer Joyce Heims had in mind, is that you can’t run away from your problems.

Of three relatively main characters in this story, all of them are trying to escape from something. Biggs had a tough childhood and doesn’t believe he’s capable of leading a normal life, so he hit the road and never looked back. Danny loves his parents but feels overwhelmed by the emotions attendant upon their divorce, so he hopped a train. Carrie is lonely and tired of Jesse the Stalker leering at her. She hopes that Biggs will either take her away or else settle down with her, either offering her a way out. At the end, Carrie’s problems catch up with her anyway, Biggs realizes that his running is a problem in itself, and Danny decides to go home and face his troubles like an adult. They can’t be said to have lived happily ever after because this isn’t that kind of movie, but everybody gets a second chance at things. Except of course for Carrie, because she’s dead, but she was a girl so she doesn’t count.

This is also a movie about father-child relationships. Biggs and Danny both have backstories that hinge on their relationships with their fathers. Carrie’s father is a major figure in her life, both parent and employer. Biggs becomes a father figure to Danny, while one of the reasons he doesn’t want to commit to his relationship with Carrie is because her father’s drinking reminds him of his own father’s behaviour.

Because I wasn’t sure whose story The Girl in Lover’s Lane was, it took me a while to key in on just what the relationship between Biggs and Danny was supposed to be. A lot of MSTies find it homoerotic, as did the Brains themselves. It can be read that way, but I think it’s intended to be that of father and son. Danny, who has purposefully left his parents, finds he still needs a guiding figure in his life, and so he latches on to Biggs. Biggs does not initially want to take Danny in, but having done so he rises to this responsibility as best he can. His efforts to make sure Danny doesn’t get robbed are partly selfish, in that Danny is carrying the money, but there is a protective streak in Biggs that Danny brings out. This then extends to Carrie, whom Biggs does his best to protect from Jesse.

The weird little interlude with the prostitute in the bathtub makes the best sense when considered in this light. Biggs is offered a pleasurable distraction but turns it down because he needs to rescue Danny. The placement of the scene after he’s met Carrie means it also represents the beginnings of devotion to her alone, although it’s Danny who is foremost in his mind at the moment. It’s not as effective as it might be, since we’re left to imagine what Biggs might have done in the same situation a week ago, but it does its job. It’s still a weird little interlude, though. Why is the bathroom right off the foyer? Why wasn’t the door locked? Are customers supposed to just walk in and ‘catch’ a girl bathing as part of some weird live-out-your-fantasy scenario?

Biggs’ backstory tells us that his father was an abusive drunk, but also that Biggs blames himself for the man’s fatal heart attack. There is also a suggestion that the reason Biggs never stays in one place long enough to get attached to anything is because he fears that if he were to have a family, he would end up continuing the cycle of abuse. Danny is a surrogate son that Biggs can ditch at any time, so he is, in a sense, able to ‘practice’ having a family without actually committing to one. He finds he is able to be a better father figure to this younger man than his own father was to him, and that gives him the courage to start to think about settling down.

After Carrie’s death, Biggs finds himself confronted by her furious and grieving father, who wants nothing more than to beat the shit out of a kid he believes to be a murderer. Biggs takes every punch and never fights back, too afraid that if he does, this man will drop dead as his own father did. And finally, when he agrees to go home with Danny at the end, he is accepting a new father figure into his life. Presumably Danny’s dad will help Biggs get his life together, but by now we’ve also seen Danny grow up enough that he can start offering Biggs advice, which Biggs rejects as if he is the rebellious son in the relationship. Danny also arrives in the nick of time to save Biggs from Carrie’s father and his friends, so in a sense the tables have turned and Danny has now become a father to Biggs.

While all this fairly complex stuff goes on with the men, Carrie herself is mere fridge meat – she’s only here so that Biggs can fall in love with her and then cry when she dies, and Tom and Crow are righteously angry about this (so angry, in fact, that they invent fanfiction!). She does have a bit of an arc of her own, though, and it’s nice that we meet her before Biggs does and get a sense of what her world would be like without him. She has female friends, though all we ever see her talk to them about is men. She loves her father, but she’s vaguely discontent with her life and tired of people telling her that all her problems will be solved by the right boy.

When the ‘right boy’ comes along, Carrie positively throws herself at him, but we’re actually given a reason why. Part of it probably has to do with the fact that she’s been told all her life that marriage is the answer to everything, but a lot of it seems to be related to the presence of Jesse, the creepy pervert whose ‘village idiot’ status allows him to get away with things he actually does know better than. Nobody in Carrie’s life takes Jesse’s threatening presence seriously, but Biggs is willing to stand up to him, so Carrie tries desperately hard to be what Biggs will want. She goes so far as to apologize when the dress she wears to their date doesn’t look like the one he pictured!

Carrie’s death does tie into the themes of the movie, I guess. I mean, Biggs tries to run away from her like he runs away from everything else, and therefore another reason he doesn’t fight back against the vigilante mob is because he really does feel like he’s responsible. He failed to protect her when she needed him. Carrie, too, is running away, having gone into the woods to have some privacy while she bawls her broken heart out. The reason Danny isn’t there to help either of them is because he has, on Biggs’ advice and against his own better judgment, already left town. Once again, running away causes everybody more problems than it solves.

So while The Girl in Lover’s Lane is not a good movie, it is at least a unified one. Heims and director Charles Rondeau knew how to tell a story – they just didn’t pick a very good one to tell. That’s not always a handicap, since a gifted storyteller can turn cliché dross into literary gold in other ways. Look at some of the contrived crap in Shakespeare! The Bard could probably have made a plot like The Girl in Lover’s Lane into art, but nobody involved in this movie was anywhere near that level. The technical aspects of the film are mediocre at best. The acting is pretty unsubtle. The lighting does its job. The direction’s all right. The sets are mostly okay, apart from that obvious studio set of ‘the woods’ that can only be filmed from one angle. None of it is good enough to save the story from its own banality, and so here it is, on a screen in front of a dude and his robots.

#mst3k #reviews #the girl in lover's lane #tw: stalking #tw: abuse #women in fridges #60s

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ramenrains · 7 years

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40 Love Letters (After Jeanann Verlee)

1.Dear Cynthia, I still think of you.

2. Dear Golden Harp, when I said you were beautiful, all I knew was I really meant it.

3. Dear Theo, I wanted you to stop hurting yourself more than I wanted you. I’m glad you’re happy now. Glad to see your little girl, and your healed scars, and your open smile.

4. Dear Kevin, I was 12 and you were 26. I don’t know if saying that alone is saying enough, or too much.

5. Dear Brittany, you’re still my best friend.

6. Dear Todd, I didn’t like you quite as much as everyone seemed to think I did. It just so happened, your eyes were the same color as Kevin’s.

7. Dear Lynley, thank you for warning me not to get attached. I’m sorry my heart didn’t listen.

8. Dear Keisha, three years passed in a passive charade before you brought me a bill for every favor or kindness you’d ever done. That isn’t how this works.

9. Dear Alec, you were cute to begin with, but the way you talked about flaying my skin from my bones really sealed the deal.

10. Dear Cynthia, I still think of you.

11. Dear Eric, I’m sorry I told everyone I blew you in exchange for rides home. At the time, I couldn’t justify you doing it out of the kindness of your heart.

12. Dear Tyler, I knew you were catfishing me. You’re not the only one who can type ‘hipster boy’ into Google.

13. Dear Sam, it’s not that you’re a bad person. It’s that you’re a horrible person.

14. Dear Fiona, you were my angel. I miss you.

15. Dear Josh, you’re technically my uncle. Stop sending me pictures of your dick on facebook.

16. Dear Shelby, thank you for calling the cops when I threatened to swallow a bottle of pills and turned my phone off. Thank you for walking away after. I’m sorry for what I put you through, but I’m glad you were strong enough to call my bluff.

17. Dear Marcus, I knew you were full of shit the second you dedicated a Florida Georgia Line song to me.

18. Dear Jeanette, thanks for kissing me on the cheek on Marcus’ front porch before you went in to fuck him. Really softened the blow.

19. Dear Danielle, we’re probably never going to talk about it, and that’s okay.

20. Dear Cynthia, I still think of you.

21. Dear Joey, thanks for the beer, and the advice, and making me feel like I shouldn’t kill myself.

22. Dear Danny, I’m sorry we were both in love with people that didn’t love us back. At least it made us good company for each other.

23. Dear Brandon, it was totally superficial. I only realized that when you deleted me on Snapchat.

24. Dear Jake, I still don’t understand why you wanted me to see your dick so bad. Also, the whole phone in one hand, flexing the other arm, dick just flopping around in the mirror shot? We both know you could do better than that.

25. Dear Nate, you were kind of an afterthought - even in this list - but that says more about me than it does you.

26. Dear Karson, someone had to cut the cord, I’m sorry it had to be me. At least that gives you some vindication.

27. Dear David, that one night was fun. I’m glad I’m not a big fan of seafood, because we desecrated so many surfaces of that Joe’s Crab Shack that I could probably never go back.

28. Dear Alexis, I’m sorry, but you’re 15 and I’m not Kevin.

29. Dear Ashley, there is so much about you that I just… don’t understand. That’s why I walked away, and sometimes I still wish I could come back.

30. Dear Cynthia, I still think of you.

31. Dear Aaron, I was in love with you until that one morning. I was driving you home at 5am and we were both coked up. You accused me of being in love with you like it was something I should be ashamed of, and I haven’t looked back.

32. Dear Eric, that night we looked at each other over drinks and just said, ‘nah’ in unison is one I’ll always remember fondly.

33. Dear Tammy, Nah.

34. Dear Yong Guk, you are all there ever is, ever was, ever will be.

35. Dear Mike, if you insist, I could be persuaded to try again. But you would never insist. Your life is too together and perfect to take a gamble on someone like me. I resent that in a way I frankly don’t understand all the way.

36. Dear Michael, you were a very profound mistake, and I regret everything.

37. Dear Daniel, hit me again, motherfucker. I dare you. It will be the last time.

38. Dear Paul, I liked you. We will never have quotations around a label, making us one thing. I’m more grateful for this than you could ever know.

39. Dear Mark, I’m sorry I used you for your money.

40. Dear Cynthia, I still think of you. Dear Cynthia, you were the sun, and now I keep my curtains drawn. I can’t stand to know it’s still light outside. Dear Cynthia, I found a laptop with pictures of you still on them from four years ago that I still can’t bear to delete. Dear Cynthia, you deserved better, you deserved apologies and overtures and someone who could give you all the support you were willing to give from the start. Dear Cynthia, sometimes I fall apart when I hear your name, and I find myself thinking it anyway. Dear Cynthia, you’re like a spot on the horizon for me to chase, a sun whose rise or set I cannot discern. You were abstract and so very real, and I’ll never be sure if you’re guiding me back to light and warmth, or to the open ocean in the middle of the night.

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