#Dean's on the way btw

[crackers4jenn]

spn is such a funny show, it'll be like:

Naomi tells Cas he has to choose "us, or them" and 'them' is meant to imply Sam and Dean both, but then

she makes Cas kill fake copies of Dean only

Or Metatron will speechify about how Cas is "in love... with humanity"

and then give Cas another lil speech about how it was all "to save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of Heaven, but ultimately it was about saving one human, right?"

Ishim shows up and tries to tell Cas how weak he is for befriending Sam and Dean

and then when he wants to "cure" Cas of his human weakness, that weakness is just Dean

AND THEN you'll have things like

Sam will say that Cas is family, that he'd die for him

but he also refers to Cas as an "it" just hanging around in a vessel strong enough to take on Lucifer (in season 11!! It's not like he said that in s4 or something, it was like 8 years after knowing the guy)

Or in "Regarding Dean," Dean will say to Sam "and our best friend's an angel!"

and then when he's by himself in the mirror, he'll say "and Cast--Cas is my best friend."

[sprimps]

they're thinking about very different things

[aevyk-ing]

Dean Deblois to Cate Blanchett: I have this character... a wild woman who has been living with dragons for 20 years... tall and elegant, wise and poised, who reunites with her son and husband in the midst of a war.

Guillermo del Toro to Cate Blanchett: Hey, wanna play a monkey?

[hellhoundlair]

will never get over the fact that sams grief after dean died in season 3 turned him into the same revenge obsessed man their dad became after mary died. the fact that thats not subtext or whatever thats just the show.

[castiels-undercoat]

(Their faces here guys 😫😭)

This scene makes me so sad at like a core level. Not just for Cas but also for Dean. Like from Cas's perspective the person he loves most in the world basically hates him now, after Cas did everything for him. Dean and Sam were all he had and Dean couldnt let go of this anger he had towards him and it drove him away. UNDERSTANDABLY SO.

And while Dean was undeniably wrong you can also pinpoint exact traumas that led up to this, and that affected this. The thing that gets me the most is something I havent seen anyone else mention before though.

A good quote that resonates with Dean for me is the whole "everything ive ever let go of has claw marks on it" (David Foster Wallace) one. Dean has literally had to beg and fight and claw for people to stay. Since he was four years old he had to keep Sam safe and make sure Sam stayed in the shitty hotel rooms while all Sam wanted to do was run away (again, understandable! Not blaming Sam)

On top of that he had to deal with his dad leaving all the time, john was never around. Dean had to call and beg his own father to show up for them when he felt like they really needed him and john still wouldnt show up for him or sam. When sam died Dean couldnt just let it go, he fought and searched for anything to bring him back, even to the point of making demon deals. Whatever it took to not have to let go! Even when Mary came back it seemed like all she wanted to do was leave, Dean begged her to stay and she still wouldnt, then she died and he lost that possibility of that closer relationship with his mom that he was fighting so hard for.

Even Cas, he has begged Cas to stay more then once. In purgatory he fights through all the monsters there for a full YEAR just to find Cas and then Cas left him. He let go of Deans hand and the memory was SO PAINFUL that Dean had to fictionalize it to himself and make it his fault because he couldnt handle the fact that not even Cas would fight harder to stay with him. The only times he let go of people without a fight was when he had to, when he was a danger to them (lisa, ben, human Cas), or when they were gone forever with no shot of coming back (and even then he would fucking try.)

But i feel like we see a shift in Dean in season 15. He was always the fighter, never afraid to fight for who he loved or for what he thought was right. But here that fight is so drained out of him. Hes tired. Hes tired of fighting and portecting and pushing along even when he wanted to die, he doesnt want to have to survive all the time anymore.

Hes just tired of begging people to stay when it seems like all anybody ever wants to do is leave him. He doesnt feel good enough to be the one thing that keeps people around because he never HAS been good enough for them to stay. He didnt want Cas to leave (no matter how mad at him he was) but he didnt want to be the guy who digs his claws in only for someone to still leave him again.

[quietwingsinthesky]

it ever hit you out of nowhere that castiel is living in a dead guy's body and the show just does not care. it does not care. jimmy novak might as well not exist the moment he or claire is out of sight. cas stole a guy's body and his face and his life, and we can't ever talk about it or discuss it in detail because of how fucking horrifying it is that sam and dean's best friend just walks around in a dead guy suit. there's not even a human soul in there anymore. it's just a corpse. stone-cold body snatcher indeed.

[theduckseeksduck]

John Winchester, I hate you so much.

Bonus: Dean holding Sam’s head

[taffingtons]

the courier and dean domino reunite in the commonwealth

in a very, very self-indulgent photoshoot 😅 this is my courier, elle days, and i have an AU where she also becomes the sole survivor through many shenanigans

and this particular story is an AU of that AU! where dean left vegas after she disappeared, wandered over to new york, left in a real hurry after a number of unfortunate events that he'll never breathe a word about, and joined magnolia singing in the third rail. ship dynamic stuff under the cut (also, here's their pinterest board and spotify playlist):

because it's a relationship involving dean domino, there are Definitely Issues, but to sum it up... start with your standard sunshine/bastard trope, then fill in the "bastard" side with "dean domino," and the "sunshine" side with "her fawning altruism actively fucks her up" and "amnesia makes things worse, actually" and "she's wrapped herself in so many layers of indecision and self-denial she doesn't know who she is a lot of the time" -- and so, by being him, he can cut through all the noise to her core, while she gives him the opportunity to figure out "what next?" after beginning again (that he definitely doesn't deserve)

on a technical level... yeah, so that's ham. LOL. poor ham got face sculpted a lil bit and given sunglasses and made to do silly poses. i don't remember which poses these originated as, but i used the SHIT out of photo mode and screen archer menu -- the second set wouldn't have been possible without SAM's tools for customizing poses! i'm using REACTOR ENB + ELFX + ultra interior lighting + ELFX + UIL merged patch, and my full modlist can be found here

special shoutout to the encouragement crowd on my other posts: @acdceasypeasy - @kasualkaymer - @soultrappedstjiub - @owlehh - @kitelined

[hellhoundlair]

"dean doesnt have enough self worth to be possessive of sam" factually incorrect dean would keep sam locked in a room and give him food and water and brush his hair periodically if no one stopped him

[soullessjack]

i think perhaps another layer of autism in jacks character is that he’s fine with being different, but is always upset to be treated or perceived differently.

[clairenatural]

standing by my angel!cas endgame truth while also kicking my feet and giggling writing cute domestic human!cas post-canon fics. a woman can do both

[torturedpoetdean]

slice girls is truly an insane episode why did they do that

[raspberrywiskey]

future rusty calls monarch malcom i am rattling my cells bars oh my god ..

[bedlund]

THIS IS SICK YHIS IS FUCKING INSANEEEE

[howldean]

he eepy..

[reyolfx]

oof when cas says he and metatron can't be besties cause metatron killed dean, and metatron's like "dean is fine!!! can't we move past that?" and cas is just like "never"