#Decided I'm not going to post edits for every book I read last year but this one was dope

[lobster-tales]

Books Read in 2023:

The Thousand Crimes of Ming Tsu by Tom Lin

“To sing at all is to labor, and it is only by labor that men living recall the shadows of men passed. This is what it means to remember.” At this the prophet turned and was swallowed up by the darkness.

[accio-victuuri]

(13) Fake Rumors - from the vault

I have been going through some old rumors from the fake house & decided to share some. whether these may be new to you or not, but i hope you still enjoy them as much as I did looking back. I feel like in the fandom, we’ve only ever been active when it comes to lrlg and the 49 fakes. the rest of the information that fall in between aren’t as talked about or depends on the topic. as with all other bjyx material, i want a place to store some parts of it. 🤍

these are sort of random, the ones that I had saved and found again. treat it all as fiction.

( someone please make an AU fic or edit for this xz and wyb. there is a story here. look at them. 😍😍😍 )

i have traveled a long way, you have dreamed a long time. many lonely nights drift like fallen leaves but it always finds a way….🍃🍂

(1) this one was posted for the new year 🎉

XZ: Get me a courier later

🧔‍♂️:Okay

====

🧔‍♂️:What is it? It’s so light

XZ: made-up parts, Legos.

*XZ talking to a staff so he can send out some lego parts. I think it’s light because what he is sending are “parts” that WYB is missing and he found them for him. I truly like the idea of XZ spoiling WYB when it comes to his hobbies and him being invested in it too even if he isn’t necessarily a fan too. true love! and well, reminded me of the rumored lego set gift during the early days of cql filming.

(2) have you eaten?

About the backstage live broadcast of a recent event on the same stage

WYB:Have you eaten yet?

XZ: *shakes head*

WYB: Come have dinner with me later

XZ: Who else? (Looking over it, I don’t know what I’m looking for)

WYB: Stop looking for it. I’ll send it to you next time.

Supplement: Teacher W watched Teacher X take off his makeup before leaving together.

*The usual WYB making sure that XZ eats and him waiting for his gege so they can eat with each other. Even after the CQL filming, as long as they are at the same event they will try and be together. Tho instances of that have been so rare to 0 nowadays because of the amount of eyes on them.

(3) the forbidden book lol

The crew's study period

WYB: Where is the erotic book? I want to read it.

XZ: Suddenly got up and left.

*This is one of my faves even if it’s so short! Library Pavilion behind the scenes & rumors is the gift that keeps on giving. I wouldn’t put it pass WYB to troll ZZ with this.

Here’s a GIF for you to bring you back to that time🤍

(4) call me maybe? 📱

There was a period last year where everyone had to learn rap, usually🐂 learned the fastest but he was absent-minded that time🐂 was looking at us eating delicious food while resting, it seems that he is thinking his rap, he seemed to be even more tired. At this time, staff handed over the phone and he left immediately to pick it up.

He called him, and when he came back he didn't have any special expression, but he felt refreshed. 

(5) praising

WYB: I really like to be praised by everyone and feel "wow" from everyone, so every time Da Zhen's family praises me crazily, I will secretly write it down and send it to him.

XZ: I am also a part-time praise captain. Every time I praise,None of them are the same.He can often keep up with the facts.

WYB: I don’t understand a lot of Internet slang.

XZ: I always hurt him by saying, "No, you don't even know this joke, so WYB doesn't go online?" Just. very good. Laughing, every time I feel hurt, I secretly say "He is better than me. I'm young, I know everything." What kind of tone is this? One time during a video, XZ sang "Darling, come and save me." Seeing WYB's ears slowly become red and coughed. Who can tell me what’s going on with these lyrics?

(6) baking shenanigans

The puff pastry made by XZ is very delicious, WYB will also work with XZ to help when he has time. He’s busy getting started, and they will also do some weird things. If there is a strange taste, try it with the people around you.

Once WYB squeezed minced garlic into the pastry and mixed chili powder, but forgot to mark it, XZ ate it, pinched the back of the neck and squeezed the flesh of the face "Teacher Trained WYB”

*IM CACKLING AT THIS OMG WYB 😂😂😂 what flavor of pastry is that????

(7) another one about eating

Aling period

WYB: Why are you back?

XZ: Come back for dinner, there will be a show in the afternoon

WYB: Aren’t you going to eat with your friends?

XZ: I didn’t agree when someone wanted to invite me, it was too stupid.

WYB: xls It’s so difficult to eat normally today

XZ: You haven’t eaten it, have you?

WYB: Nope. I just thought you were back.

(8) checking the weather

XZ: “The weather doesn’t look like it’s going to rain...(Look 📱)

👤: "It should be sunny..."

XZ: “I just saw📱the weather forecast showed it’s going to rain soon.

👤: How is that possible? It’s obviously sunny. "(春📱)

XZ: "Huh?" (👤♥Two people facing each other📱)

XZ: Overcast to light rain to moderate rain.

👤: What you are looking at is the weather

XZ: Oh my God, so embarrassing...

XZ forgot to switch cities. no one will know the city WYB was in that day if I don’t tell you.

*This one hits different cause for this rumor, they are in different cities but in the same country. Lately, there are times that they are in diff countries so do they look at the weather their too? 🥹🥹🥹

I can’t relate to their obsession with the weather, but if that gives them a sense of connection to each other then it’s fine.

(9) raining

💚Supplement: It’s when the temperature gradually rises. At that time, it rained in June.

💚Holding an umbrella💚❤️talking all the way

❤️Start standing on the right side of 💚

💚Hold the umbrella and tilt it in the direction of ❤️

❤️Thick clothes💚Left half of light-colored thin clothes

The edges are wet and very transparent.

❤️Just keep pushing the umbrella in the direction of 💚

I wanted to block 💚 a little more, but found it was fine.

After seeing the effect, I found an opportunity to move it to the left side of 💚

Then 💚 the right half also got wet

Both centered and symmetrical….…..

(10) them and their parents.

Regarding their parents, I currently know the older one’s mom and dad can also surf the internet, and talk about about their CP and their impression of WYB is good. But his mother actually really wants to have a grandchild. His father is very indifferent when the older one comes home. I'm sure his mother won't be able to bear it. She asked him bluntly, the older ones always focus on work to fool her in the past. In July this year not only did he tell the truth to his family but took the younger one back with him.

It’s time for dinner at home, and the younger one is very nervous. He is afraid that the family will think he is not good enough. He bought a lot of things and piled them up for backup. He sprayed perfume and dressed properly and pretended. The older one made him want to laugh when he looks at him, just fool around. The younger one calls him a big bastard.

The mother on the table was holding jianguo and said she could only count on her to give birth to a litter of grandsons.

* I know that talk about their parents is sensitive and would always lead to more discussion, but again, treat this as fiction. and tbh, who could resist WYB as a son in law??? It I had a son and he brings home WYB as a boyfriend I will be very happy. I also feel soft that XZ is trying to tease and make WYB laugh.

(11)

What happened last year

WYB: Is it delicious?

XZ: (nodding while eating) Yeah, it’s quite delicious.

WYB: What about others?

XZ: Wait a minute...Wow, I just ate that, this one has no taste.

WYB: Is it too spicy?

XZ: It’s okay, but my tongue is numb and I can’t taste other flavors.

WYB: Wait a minute, drink some water. Is it really that spicy?

XZ: Try it yourself. You didn't keep it for yourself? Wasn't it sent from you?

WYB: I didn't take it apart. Bring it to me.

Then XZ really ate so much that he left two packets and took them back to WYB.

(You send it to me and I will bring it back to you. What kind of trick is this?)

What happened this year

XZ: It’s been too cold these two days.

👤: Southern kids.

XZ: :Then northerners also feel cold. Cold is cold.

(Okay, I know you have northerners in your family, next one)

👤When teasing XZ and WYB, XZ’s response was, “Hahaha” and send out red envelopes. As expected of Boss XZ.

I saw other people's submissions and came to do some post-sale service. I heard that XZ sang to put WYB to sleep. I know that there is indeed mmxhn, and there is a six-character song related to snow. (There are probably others somewhere that I don’t know about)

(12) like a fairy

XXX was wearing Iwj's white clothes for the first time

XX: Fairy, descended to earth to overcome the tribulation

XXX: Isn’t fairy a dog? You have so much information but no good words.

XX: Compliment you for being good-looking and handsome.wls, wow, so handsome!

XXX: xls looks better than me, our xls is so beautiful, ancestor of Yiling

XX: Stop, stop, it’s so shameful

*My favorite kind of rumor is when WYB goes gremlin on XZ! 😂😂😂😂

(13) cravings

WYB has been craving for "cai cai rice" recently, XZ told him many times that spring is not so good to have wild vegetables, even if they are cooked. WYB said he doesn’t care about wild vegetables he just wants to eat the vegetable rice cooked by XZ, but I don’t have that. It smells good, I just want to eat it.

In the end, he still didn’t get the cabbage meal, but freshly baked dumplings. WYB got a bargain and acted nice, he was acting coquettishly while eating.

* Oh to be WYB and have someone like XZ cook for youuuu 😍😍😍😍

-END.

P.S : this ye mi and xiao zhan AU pairing is living in my mind rent free. 🥵🥵🥵

[redgoldsparks]

August Reading and Reviews by Maia Kobabe

I post my reviews throughout the month on Storygraph and Goodreads, and do roundups here and on patreon. Reviews below the cut.

Heavyweight: A Family Story of Holocaust, Empire and Memory by Solomon J Brager After listening to this excellent interview with the author on the Gender Reveal podcast, I was very excited to pick up Solomon Brager's hefty nonfiction comic about family history, Jewish identity, the Holocaust, and empire. This is an incredibly well researched and thoughtful book. The author grew up with outsized family stories of a Jewish boxing champion great-grandfather from Essen who punched Nazis, and a great-grandmother who carried her children across countries and mountains to escape to the US. But these stories became much more complicated when the author started digging for receipts. One factor is the immense financial privilege of the family which already had bank accounts and significant savings in New York. Another factor is the layers of violence and empire that build up the power of the countries fighting on both sides of WWII. The author's quest to research the family story is a major thread in the story itself and I am absolutely awed by the amount of work that went into uncovering and shaping this story.

My Dearest Patrolman vol 1 by Niyama As a delinquent teen, Shin was mentored and protected by a friendly patrolman, Seiji. Having one supportive adult in his life completely turned Shin's life around and he also decided to become a patrolman. Years later, Shin and Seiji meet again, and Shin decides to confess the feelings he's been nursing for a decade. Lighthearted dating hijinks ensue! Strikes a nice balance between silly, sweet, and spicy.

Go For It, Nakamura! by Syundei An extremely silly and cute high school rom-com. Shy Nakamura has a massive crush on his classmate Hirose. Despite the fact that they see each other every day, Nakamura has never introduced himself. What will it take to get him to finally speak up and try to befriend his crush??

Something Not Nothing by Sarah Leavitt In 2020, Sarah Leavitt's partner of more than 20 years, Domino, died with medical assistance after years of severe chronic pain and a rapid decline at the end of her life. Leavitt, a cartoonist and writer, tried to make sense of this decision through comics and abstract watercolor paintings. The result is a gorgeous, heart wrenching, deeply human meditation on love and loss. There were pages that lifted my spirits and pages that pierced me to my core. I sobbed through the majority of reading it, but couldn't put it down. Leavitt's mapmaking of the landscape of grief is a gift to us all.

Assassin's Fate by Robin Hobb read by Elliot Hill What can I even say about this, the final novel of a 16 book fantasy series, which I have been reading and re-reading now for twenty years, other than holy shit??? I can't believe I've reached the end of Fitz's journey at last. This book is SO long (nearly 1000 pages) and much of it is brutal to read; characters we love are beaten, abused, tortured, and left in pretty hopeless situations for much of the novel. I think Hobb's insistence on revisiting almost every single character from the Rain Wilds and Live Ship sub-series expanded the first third of the book more than needed; had I been editing it, it would have been shorter. And yet! And yet! I was riveted by this too-long book, devouring it in big gulps, scream-texting about it to several friends who were reading the series along with me. The ending hit SO HARD. Its PERFECT, TERRIBLE, WRETCHED, one of the cruelest endings for several beloved characters and while also giving them a kind of grace and eternity I did not see coming, but should have. This book fulfills the themes of the entire series so well, completing repeated patterns, showing cycles that ripple through three generations, while also leaving a door open for the future that I'm already daydreaming about. Literally how did Robin Hobb come up with all of this. Its flawed but its perfect. I am in awe.

BL Metamorphosis vol 1 by Kaori Tsurutani translated by Jocelyne Allen An older woman picks up a BL manga by chance at a bookstore and discovers a new fandom late in life. She ends up befriending a shy high school girl who works at the bookstore and also loves BL, but has no one to talk to about it. This is such a freaking cute premise and I love the loose sketchy art style!

BL Metamorphosis vol 2 by Kaori Tsurutani translated by Jocelyne Allen Unlikely friends Urara, a shy high schooler, and Ichinoi, a widowed calligraphy teacher, bonded over their love of a BL manga series. Now they're heading to a doujinshi event to try and meet their favorite author. This brought me right back to my early days of visiting cons and meeting authors for the first time!

BL Metamorphosis vol 3 by Kaori Tsurutani translated by Jocelyne Allen Urara has been reading and loving BL manga years, but it takes a push from her older friend Ichinoi before Urara considers the idea of possibly drawing her own. Can she find the time to write and draw a story around her cram school schedule? This series PERFECTLY captures the BL reader to BL writer pipeline, I'm so charmed.

BL Metamorphosis vol 4 by Kaori Tsurutani translated by Jocelyne Allen Urara applies for a table at a comics festival, so now she has a deadline for her first original comic. Can she get it done in time? Ichinoi is there to cheer lead and support in every way she can (finding a printer, sewing a table cloth, agreeing to work the table, packing their lunches) but only Urara can get the comic done. This book contained one of my very favorite exchanges of the whole series, when Ichinoi asked "Is it fun to draw manga?" and Urara responded honestly, "No. It's hard to look at my own art for so long. But it feels like I'm doing what I should be doing."

BL Metamorphosis vol 5 by Kaori Tsurutani translated by Jocelyne Allen Urara and Ichinoi struggle through a long, slow day of trying to sell an original comic at their first ever comic event. Unbeknownst to them, their favorite author is there as an attendee. This book felt like one of the most relatable portrayals of the early days of a comics career I've ever seen. I'm obsessed with this series and definitely want to watch the live action movie adaptation!

The Spear Cuts Through Water by Simon Jimenez This complex fantasy novel weaves together a multi-strand narrative of violence, love, and the end of empire in an original world of old gods and talking animals. In the main thread, two warriors carry the corpse of an almost-dead goddess across the country in a five day dash from the mountains to the sea. The goddess was once the Moon, torn out of the sky by her own desire for immortality. Her children became the despotic Moon Throne, a cruel dynasty which has repressed and punished the people and elements. The Moon Thrones' heirs, three brothers with extraordinary powers, chase the warriors and hunger for the last dregs of the fallen Moon's power. In another thread, an unnamed protagonist watches this drama unfold as a play being performed in a dreamy underwater sleep realm, while recalling the stories their lola told of the old country before the war. This novel is often compared with NK Jemisin's The Fifth Season in terms of scope, literary prose, and ambition and I can see why. This novel employs some very creative and unusual writing choices that make it more rewarding to read in print than to experience in audio. I had a content warning for gore and cannibalism going in, so I was prepared for the violence of the middle section. I really enjoyed this novel and I can tell I'll be thinking about it for a long time.

Horse by Geraldine Brooks read by James Fouhey, Lisa Flanagan, Graham Halstead, Katherine Littrell, Michael Obiora This book follows multiple different story lines, some of which captured me much more than others. In Kentucky in 1850, an enslaved black boy watches a new thoroughbred racing colt's birth and begins a lifelong relationship with the horse, who will go on to be one of the most well-known champions in the history of American horse racing. In New York City in the 1950s, a gallery owner known for her modern tastes falls for an equestrian portrait of the great Kentucky race horse, Lexington. And in 2019, in Washington DC, a Nigerian-American art history student and a Smithsonian scientist dig into the mystery of an unlabelled horse skeleton in the museum's collection- and its possible connection with several paintings by a Civil War era equestrian artist. I admired the amount of research that went into this novel, and the way the paintings of Lexington tied the different timelines together. However, I really struggled with how the interior emotional lives of several of the Black male characters in this book were portrayed by this author. When Jarret, the enslaved Black groom, is separated from Lexington and forced into plantation labor temporarily, Brooks writes of him gaining a depth of spirit and understanding for the human condition from this experience. This felt deeply weird to read from a white author! I'm not really the right reader to say whether Brooks did a good job or not, but it put me on edge. When the final climatic moment of the novel read like a heavy-handed lesson in how Black men are still at risk of police violence even in 2019, I wondered who exactly that point was supposed to be for, and if Brooks is the one who needed to make it. So, I felt very mixed as I finished this book. There's a lot to admire craft-wise, and I can understand why so many readers were impressed by it. But I honestly I don't recommend it, unless you want to read it in a book club setting and have a nuanced discussion about what works and what doesn't in this novel.

The Summer Book by Tove Jansson A young girl named Sophie spends her summers on an island of the coast of Finland with her very present grandmother and her rather absent father. Each chapter tells of an incident experienced through the eyes of the very young and the very old- the growth of mosses and wildflowers on the island stones; boxes and bottles of flotsam and jetsam washing to shore; a great storm; an adventure in trespassing; an unexpected visitor; a night spent outside sleeping in a tent. Without much of an overarching plot this book is still a moving picture of living very close to and in tune with the seasons and elements in a very specific part of the world. It's brief and open ended but I really enjoyed it!

Delicious in Dungeon vol 14 by Ryoko Kui As the smoke clears after the explosive ending of the previous penultimate volume, our heroes gather themselves, check on the survivors, and set out on the most collaborative challenge: cooking and eating an entire chimera body. This is a satisfying and in some ways gentler ending than I expected from this series, but I really enjoyed it!

Notes from an Island by Tove Jansson and Tuulikki Pietilä translated by Thomas Teal  In the autumn of 1963, Tove Jansson, her partner Tuulikki 'Tooti' Pietilä, and their taciturn friend Brunström set about trying to finish a small cabin on a tiny Finnish island before the onset of winter (and possible legal delays of building permits). Tove and Tooti spent their summers on the island for the next 3o years. This book contains excerpts of journal and introspective writing on the nature of the island, the sea, the changeable weather, the futility of human efforts to shift the natural environment. These writings are paired with delicate prints Tooti made of water, stones, and ocean views. I read this directly after The Summer Book and after listening to a short biography of Jansson- this made a good companion to those other texts, but might have been a bit spare on its own.

[fdelopera]

reading your response to the ask about Elohim, i found it so fascinating and really wanted to learn more about jewish history. but im kinda scared to try and dive into googling it because like, for obvious reasons there is a lot of antisemitic misinformation out there. where's a good place to start learning about it all from a historical standpoint, aside from taking a college course? i hope this is okay to ask, i really don't want to stumble upon/consume revisionist history out of ignorance

Hi Anon. Thank you for your kind message. I really appreciate it.

I'm glad that you enjoyed my post about the origin of Elohim as one of the names of G-d in Judaism. Studying Jewish history and Jewish religious practice gives profound understanding and context to Abrahamic religions, as well as to the last 3500+ years of history, since at least the Late Bronze Age.

And thank you for wanting to learn more about Jewish history, and for reaching out to a Jewish person to ask about it.

My answer to your Ask is based on this answer about Jewish history, which I posted a few days ago. Not a lot of people saw it, so I feel okay about posting these links here again.

This past month especially has made me realize just how little most gentiles (non-Jews) know about Jewish history. It's been eye-opening, for sure.

And ... you're right, unfortunately. I've seen a metric shit ton of Jew-hatred going around. And so many antisemitic conspiracy theories that originated with the Neo-Nazis and the KKK.

Some people have been spreading this Neo-Nazi rhetoric intentionally, but many others have been spreading it because they don't have the context to understand that they are repeating Nazi dogwhistles.

In talking to gentiles, I often find that their knowledge of Jewish history extends to a few facts about the Holocaust. Some gentiles who have studied European history and political science may also have a general understanding of Hitler’s rise to power.

But that’s only the past several decades of Jewish history! And it's limited almost entirely to Europe!

Jews are a Levantine people. We are indigenous to Judea (the area currently called Israel/Palestine), and our history goes back thousands of years to the Late Bronze Age.

For a good overview of Jewish history, from the Late Bronze Age to the present, I would recommend two YouTube channels. That’s a good place to start. There are many history books on the subject, but a lot of them are quite dense, and the videos from these two historians will give you a good general overview if you want to learn more.

Sam Aronow:

Sam Aronow covers the span of Jewish history, from the Late Bronze Age to modern times. It is an ongoing Jewish history project that he’s been producing for the past three years, and it is in chronological order. He is currently in the early 1900s, and he comes out with a new video every month or so (he's just released a new video this month).

Click here to go to Sam’s YouTube channel, and then you can scroll back to watch his videos from the beginning, or you can decide what time period of Jewish history you’re most interested in learning about first.

Useful Charts:

Matt Baker, PhD runs the YouTube channel "Useful Charts," and he often works with Sam Aronow's channel. He has a PhD in education and religion. Matt has a very interesting story. He converted to Judaism as an adult; when he was a young man, he escaped a Christian doomsday cult, which he was born into. This gives him a unique understanding of Jewish history, especially how the "Old Testament" is often weaponized by Evangelical Christians to advance specific right-wing agendas. (As I explain below, the Old Testament is NOT the Hebrew bible. It is a chopped up, reordered, edited, and mistranslated version of the Hebrew bible.) Matt's videos on the history of Judaism are well-researched, and he breaks down different aspects of Jewish history into easy-to-follow segments.

I) Jewish History series:

Which Bible Characters are Historical.

Kings of Israel & Judah Family Tree.

Maccabees & King Herod Family Tree. (by Sam Aronow)

Classical Rabbis Family Tree.

Judaism and Jewish Denominations Explained.

Jewish Streams (Denominations) Re-Explained. (by Sam Aronow)

II) Who Wrote the Tanakh and the New Testament series:

NOTE: The Tanakh (the Hebrew bible) is an acronym that stands for Torah (Instruction), Nevi'im (Prophets), Ketuvim (Writings). It is NOT the same as the "Old Testament" in the Christian bible. The Christian editors of the "Old Testament" cut up the Tanakh and reordered it in a way that doesn't make any sense for Jewish practice. Many Christian bibles (such as the King James Version) also intentionally mistranslate the Old Testament to advance specific religious, political, and social ideologies of their time.

Who Wrote the Torah.

Who Wrote the Prophets.

Who Wrote the Writings.

I am including links to Matt's series on who wrote the New Testament, because many people who were raised Christian were never given a historical context for the people who wrote the books of the New Testament.

Who Wrote the Apocrypha. (The Apocrypha are later-written Jewish books that are not included in the Tanakh, but do appear in some Christian bibles, like the Catholic bible)

Who Wrote the Epistles. (Paul's Epistles were written before the Gospels, which is why the Epistles are linked first.)

Who Wrote the Gospels and Acts. (The Gospels were all written long AFTER Jesus' lifetime, and AFTER the destruction of the Second Temple in 70 AD. They were NOT written by the people they are attributed to.)

Who Wrote Daniel, and Who Wrote Revelation. (Matt includes Daniel from the Nevi'im [Prophets] as well as Revelation from the New Testament in this video to discuss apocalypticism in Jewish and early Christian tradition.)

[thecomfywriter]

Welcome to my Writing Corner!

2024 updated edition:

⋆.˚ ♡⋆࿐ 🦢 ⋆.˚ ⋆.˚🦢⋆࿐♡⋆.˚

Hey! Welcome to my writing corner. My name is (not) Naveena, though I more commonly go by @thecomfywriter. This blog is dedicated to sharing tips and tricks pertaining to writing. Occasionally, I'll also share artwork relating to my ocs or details about my own WIP, but I tend to gear most of my content towards helping other writers tackle the messier parts of writing and make the entire process easier for all of us. Here are some fun fact about me, and then some about my WIP.

Follow my socials! You can find my book on wattpad and tapas :)

instagram: thecomfyywriter wattpad: thecomfywriter tiktok: thecomfywriter pinterest: thecomfywriter tapas: thecomfywriter

ABOUT ME:

When did I get into writing?

I actually got into storytelling first in the form of my doll games, believe it or not. When those stories all started layering and becoming more complex, I decided to take my stories to paper. I think my sister's need for a bedtime story every night is what initially inspired my brain to start weaving stories, but I started creating stories and orating them at the age of 5 (my audience was my sister) and I started writing when I was 6.

What genres do I like writing the most?

Over the years, I have experimented with a bunch of different genres, from horror to paranormal to mystery to romance to action... literally everything. But, the one my heart settles in the most is high fantasy, mainly because it engages every part of my brain and really makes me think. I think it has to do with the worldbuilding part of it. If you've seen my previous posts, worldbuilding is my favourite aspect of writing, and when you're writing high fantasy, the entire world and all its lore is made from scratch. I absolutely ADORE the creative process of forging politics or economic systems; trade routes and cultural history; mythology and language. Every part of worldbuilding makes me devote myself to high fantasy like no other genre. It's also the reason why I become so invested in my own writing.

What are my favourite books?

RECOMMENDATION ALERT. Read all of these books please because I promise you, if for nothing else, it will give you a fresh taste of different styles of literature. I'll keep my essays as to why I love each novel short, but I literally have an entire shelf in my room dedicated to all my favourites. In terms of my top two, The Iliad by Homer and Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte have to tie. They're both classics and they both hold a special place in my heart. Wuthering Heights for its depiction of different types of love and the complexities of falling and maintaining love, even through maladaptive and obsessive ways like revenge, grief, and resentment. The Iliad for the sheer theatrics of Achilles LMAO. He's so goofy I love him. Such a drama king, but also so lethal? I love the dichotomy. I love that you can feel his wrath, feel his indignation, and feel the consequences of his retreat through its impact on the war. It speaks volumes about how powerful his character is long before his 3 bellows on the top of the wall after a certain someone-someone dies. I'm not going to say who, but also... Zeus listing off all his affairs while trying to tell Hera how much he lusts for her will always make me laugh. Like, damn bro is really dense, huh?

In terms of non-classics: The Giver by Lois Lowry for how it has changed my perspective of the world. It has made me more appreciative of all the aspects of being human and all the small sensational things I had previously taken for granted. The Last Dragon by Silvana De Mari for the adventure aspect of the tale and getting me so emotionally attached to the characters. The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro for the reflective aspects of the tale and how the story tends to hold more meaning after it simmers in the conscious and lingers behind with endless thoughts. I cannot tell you how many times I've reflected on that book. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini for how RAW and emotionally impactful that story is. GOD the ending gutted me. I've never had a book make me sob before this one. And then, goofily enough, The Vampire Diaries by L.J. Smith because I love how iconic it is, especially with og Elena.

QUESTIONS ABOUT MY WIP:

What's the name and genre of the story?

Throne of Vengeance! It's a high fantasy action adventure.

Is it completed?

As of April 2024, yes! I am going through to edit it a second time since I'm pretty sure my brain was slightly fried the first time, but also starting the querying process right now.

How long did it take to complete?

In terms of the entire concept? I originally drafted the idea for this book when I was 7 years old. Finished it when I was 9 because I took a year long hiatus where I forgot about it. Then, I decided to revisit and rewrite it when I was 11ish? And it took me until now, at the ripe age of 21, to have it done and dusted.

A long journey indeed.

⋆.˚ ♡⋆࿐ 🦢 ⋆.˚ ⋆.˚🦢⋆࿐♡⋆.˚

Alrighty! So, I'll keep the WIP questions short, but I hope you guys enjoy my blog. If you have any questions or post requests, do let me know. My asks are always open :)

Ciao!

[lovelettersarchive]

Entry #9: Om's birthday.

[LLTM: JOS]

[Mondayday || May 6/2024 || nighttime.]

About Sunday/5 May/2024: after morning routine I started writing tumblr post after 10am. I collected lyrics and wrote meaning + started searching for pictures after scrolling on pinterest for hours, created moodboards out of those pictures (because there's limit of 10 pictures and 1 video) wrote everything I could think of despite having terrible headache because of sleep deprivation. Till lunch I couldn't think of how I should I portray this wish then I thought of last year's birthday wish and thought of chennai express and that's how I came up with "gujarat express" idea and started writing important parts. After that I collected pictures and videos according to his vibes from pinterest after scrolling so much once again. At the end I decided to add a video, I searched for it but I didn't like the song so I changed it. After that Created 3 edits as always, even though it was hard for me to decide bg music for those edits. After that I wrote paragraph for his dm, wrote few lines for his each birthday, from 1 to 20. And it was already 12:00am.

He came to my dm before 12am but I was still editing tumblr post and at 12:00am I wished him happy birthday first and posted that tumblr post as always and told him to see tumblr post. He came here to read it and I went to mention him my instagram stories. I came back and he was still reading that post because it was lengthier than I thought. He came to my dm, was so overwhelmed with emotions and was lose for words. So I sent him that mini letter I wrote for his each birthday, he loved it and laughed because I made it kinda casual and wholesome, no big lines or words but just my thoughts. I let him process though he kept saying how happy he was and how lucky he was to have me and writer's love is one of a kind and by then it was already 01:30, I kept him in my dm for that long before he went to see my instagram stories. He liked those edits as well, he came back to me and kept talking and complimenting me for whatever I did for him till 02:44am and we fell asleep. He talked about each and every line I wrote for him like he couldn't decide which part was his favorite, all these because I can't call him or face time with him or send him vns(my family is strict). So I try to make up with my writing.

In the morning I sent him gujarati playlist I created for him specially with good morning text and afternoon came he went to shopping with his cousins and family. He texted me and asked me to select an outfit for him because he couldn't decide which one he should buy and so I chose for him. At evening he went out with his relative's family to celebrate his birthday and I'm happy that he's enjoying his birthday like this.

Why do I can't stop myself from writing about him? I ended up writing about him once again. See...

They said "Go where you feel the most alive."

And I hid into his embrace.

...And when he speaks, I can feel hope crawling out of my lifeless chest.

They say you can't reach to the stars but that's wrong. I see stars in his eyes whenever he talks about his dreams.

He is what a lost poet wants to write about but can't, happiness.

If he'd tell me to kneel I wouldn't dare to look up.

He has taken over my mind, my heart and my soul like devil takes over sinner's prayers.

If I were to get locked up in one room without a way out, I would create stories for him in my mind to keep me alive till the end. –Simran.

To my past self: I found something better than your books, inspiration for writing. And that's because of him, Om.

To my future self: I know that you won't stop writing about him because now he has blended our souls and only death can stop my pen.

[avastrasposts]

Hello!

So I just realised about 300+ people decided to follow me and, I suppose, read my stories? And 300 is such a small number but to me it's surreal that so many of you want to read what I write!

So I thought I'd introduce myself a little, just to be polite you know, and be like those author blurbs they put on the inside flap of books. So read on if you want to know more about me and my writing, or just keep scrolling if you'd rather I remain a redheaded mystery with a thing for Frankie Morales.

Also, chapter 16 of The Pilot and his Girl will be posted tomorrow, it just needs another round of editing.

Also, again, this got long, so if you can't be bothered reading all my ramblings below the cut, I totally understand. I have a habit of getting wordy....

So, I'm in my 40's and I've been writing for most of my life, starting with embarrassing little short stories in adorable misspelled fashion when I was just wee. I aspired to be a journalist and then went on a completely different tangent career wise, ending up with a PhD in an area I no longer work in (fifteen years of higher education never to be touched again but you definitely want me on your team in a pub quiz!). I have vague memories of writing fan fiction in my early 20, I think? (I'm old, give me a break). But I only got back to it late last year as a way to kick start my imagination and discipline around writing again. I needed a creative outlet and writing is something I always enjoyed and found easy to do.

I live in England, in the amazing but fucking expensive city of London. I look pretty much like my profile picture, only more wrinkles and maybe a bit of silver in all that gingerness. I'm a very good cook and baker (Pedro, I'll teach you how to cook any day!) and I'm married to my very own sweet Latino man. He's not called Frankie but he does call me cariño. I have big chunk of family in Sweden and I speak a little bit of Swedish (it's actually where I am right now, we're over here celebrating midsummer).

I started writing fanfics for The Boys fandom and Karl Urban as I was binging the whole show after finishing season 4. Then I stumbled into the Pedro Pascal fandom as I watched The Last of Us.

TLoU has a very special place in my heart. I've been gaming since my early teens and bought a Playstation 3 after saving for months, my first console after playing on PC for years. When TLoU came out in 2013 I bought and played it straight away and I, like so many others, had an experience playing it. It's the only story, in any medium, that's made me cry after just 10-15 minutes of game play. The scene were Sarah dies, still gets me every time. And the rest of the game...I turned up at work the next week in a daze, just needing to tell people about this incredible story and experience I'd had. It was like no other game I'd ever played, before or since. And I've replayed the game about once a year since 2013. Back then, that kind of game was totally unique, there was nothing like it. Some games had explored stronger story telling elements, but not on this level, nothing came even close to creating such a bond between gamer and characters. Now days we're spoiled by powerful storytelling in video games, in 2013, The Last of Us was totally unique (sorry, I'm blabbering, but I could go on at length about TLoU and the impact it had).

So when I heard there was talks about turning into a tv-series, I was scared. Really worried. The gaming community have seen so many horrendous adaptations of video games, my beloved Assassin's Creed was butchered in 2016. But then I heard Pedro Pascal had been cast as Joel and I was carefully hopeful, and then Bella Ramsey as Ellie and I got really excited. I'd seen them both in Game of Thrones, both of their performances sticking in my mind. I even remember reading about Pedro being cast in GoT and looking him up and being disappointed because he looked nothing like I'd pictured the Red Viper when I read the books. But then he just swanned in and crushed it, he was so damn good, he won me over straight away. I can't imagine anyone else playing Oberyn.

And then of course, the first few trailers of TLoU dropped and we got glimpses of the show and I remember texting my equally TLoU obsessed friend and we squealed in delight at how good it looked! And the first time I heard the clicker sound....I shuddered, it was a very real physical reaction. If I'd been on the actual set and heard it, I think I would've run a mile.

And then, as I was still writing The British Connection, a fic set in The Boys fandom, I watched Triple Frontier, and, like so many others, fell hard for sweet Frankie Morales. So jumping the gun a bit, I decided to write something with him, just a drabble, to get used to writing him and to write in the Reader insert format. But it kind a grew in scope and when I had the idea of sticking him and the rest of the Triple Frontier boys into TLoU universe I knew I had to create something bigger.

Looking back I would've made the story tighter, less lengthy, had I known from the start that's where it was going to go. But part of the fun of fan fiction is posting as you go, I think. I get feedback from you guys and it makes me think of other elements to add to the story. There isn't always a set road map for how a fic is going to develop.

If you've made it this far, congratulations and thank you, I'm impressed you read all that rambling from some stranger on Tumblr! The Pilot and his Girl has a set plan now, I have chapters drawn up and although I'm not sure how many chapters I'm going to end up with, I know where the story is going. You'll find out what's happened to Pope, Will and Benny. And Joel and Tommy will of course come back to the story later on. There will be more trauma and angst as the story continues but there will be a happy ending, of sorts, in the end.

And again, thank you all for reading, commenting and reblogging! I love you all!

[sirensorisons]

i can't believe it's finally happening.

in early 2012, i picked the hunger games up off the shelf at my school library on a whim. my eldest sister hates reading, but i remembered that this was one of the few books she'd actually enjoyed, so i figured it couldn't be bad. not long after i finished reading, i learned that it would be adapted for the big screen.

on a school trip in april, me and so many of my classmates were caught up in hunger games mania. we tried our hand at being katniss with archery and pretended to be tributes in the woods. i wrote a couple chapters of some horrible self-insert fanfiction that's been lost to time, where my oc was bffs with some of my favorite characters: annie cresta and finnick odair.

throughout middle and high school, i made note of the release dates for every hunger games film, and i went to see catching fire and mockingjay part 1 in theaters. i revisited the series with a keener eye when i was a little older, and i began to understand the true literary genius of it.

for my last high school english assignment in 2018, we were allowed to do anything we wanted. earlier that year, our teacher had said something disparaging about the literary merit of the trilogy, so i decided made a short video about the series, fan films, and 1984.

on june 17, 2019, i learned for the first time that suzanne collins was working on a prequel, set to release on may 19, 2020. i learned at the same time that a movie adaptation was already in the works. i was skeptical when i heard it would be about president snow, but this series had captured my heart seven years prior, so there was no way i was passing this up. i preordered the book as soon as i could.

when it came in the mail on my twentieth birthday, i read the ballad of songbirds and snakes in that single day, for twelve hours straight. when i finally put it down, i'd managed to give myself a nasty eyestrain headache, but i was so, so happy.

i followed the production of the film with interest, as closely as i could with information made publicly available by actors, producers, and fans. i was always excited to share what i'd learned with my parents, and eventually, we were calling it my movie.

last year, in the last few days of august, i embarked on a mission to write a canon-compliant fanfiction about another one of my favorite characters, johanna mason. i posted the first chapter of "as long as i'm burning" in september, and i would write nearly 150k words between then and this past march.

although the fic has been on hiatus since then due to my copious mental issues, alaib and the canon series have been at the forefront of my mind all year. i started to regularly edit the hunger games wiki in may, and i've made over 2000 edits since then. last month, i even made my own private wiki for alaib on miraheze.

i cannot express how much this series means to me. the book release for tbosas genuinely kept me alive in some of my darkest days, and the movie is keeping me going every day even now. i love the world, its characters, and its commentary on our world. i love its message of hope and recovery in such cruel, dire circumstances. i love its love for kindness, freedom, and justice.

and i love that i get to share it with all of you. because even though i had nothing to do with its creation, tbosas feels so deeply personal to me. in my heart it's my movie, and i can't wait for everyone to be able to see it.

i've queued this over a week in advance because i don't expect to be nearly so coherent the day of. at time of posting, i should be heading into the theater, and the hunger games: the ballad of songbirds and snakes will be beginning any minute now.

this has been such an incredible journey. i'll see you in a few hours.

[apilgrimpassingby]

Hello Tumblr!

Firstly, I haven't had a social media account before except on YouTube, so I hope I don't sound like a dork here.

I am a 18-year old English male who had my trad desires awakened by Tumblr, specifically @homeiswherethewitchcraftis, @barefoot-a-pregnant and the sadly now deactivated @unsweetenedlemon. This is the culmination of a long and winded journey into rejecting feminism (the modern variety, not "women should vote and get paid equally") that included the music of Heather Dale and Mercedes Lackey, "The Dangerous Book For Boys", and a religious experience last summer that changed my life.

I have decided to open up a trad masculinity blog (or whatever they're called here; I'm pretty new to Tumblr) with frequent divergences into Christianity because:

There aren't enough of them.

Pretty much all that there are have pornographic, fetishistic or outright misogynist content - not good for training to be a true traditional man.

I will say a few things before I finish:

Christianity is a major part of me and my tradness, so I will be talking about it a lot, but people of all and no religions are more than welcome to follow, repost, read and so on. Just look at the neopagans who brought me here. However, if you have some kind of vendetta towards Christianity, Christians, the Bible, religion in general or some combination of the above, leave it at the door or go elsewhere.

In case this needs to be said, I do not endorse everything on every blog I repost from.

Leave arguing at the door. We're here to be better people, not to bicker and quarrel.

Please, no swears or slurs. And use the best grammar and spelling you can.

While the name is a play on the official name of the Mormons (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints), I am not a Mormon but an Eastern Orthodox catechumen. But Mormons, like all other people (with an exception outlined below), are more than welcome to note, reblog and comment on my posts and follow me.

I will tolerate kink blogs reposting and noting my stuff; by people looking for the original blog, they may find (as I did) that tradness is a perfectly adequate substitute for kink, or at least find a way out of viewing porn. But please, do not follow me if you are a kink blog or are "mature content". I will block any who attempt to do so. No exceptions. And if your blog has stuff like "women are property" or "domestic violence is okay", I will block you the instant I find out.

I think that's all, so hello Tumblr and especially Tradblr, and I hope to have a good time!

All glory be to Christ.

Edit: from 19th August 2023 onwards I have a long-distance trad girlfriend in @beholdthehandmaidenofthelord; in fact, I suggested the username. I praise the Lord for this opportunity and blessing.

[emotionallychargedtowel]

9 People You’d Like to Know More

tagged by @wen-kexing-apologist and @thewayofsubtext  <3

Tumblr keeps eating every draft of this post that I write, argh! 

Last Song I Listened To

When I started writing this, I was being lazy and letting the YouTube algorithm pick songs for me and I was listening to this song, Unfucktheworld by Angel Olsen. I've been exchanging song recommendations with a friend for a while now and I guess she has gotten to know me pretty well because this is way up my alley.

But then another song came on--We Ride by Brave Girls (a.k.a. BB Girls)--and that became the new last song I listened to. It's another song that a friend recommended to me. This time it was a friend I've been emailing with back and forth about East Asian pop music. He's a big fan of City Pop, a genre that came out of Japan in the 80s, and he sent me a list of some recent kpop songs that are influenced by/reminiscent of City Pop, including this one. I took to it right away, and it was a big hit with my daughter. 

Currently Watching

I Told Sunset About You - I’m just one episode in to this one and I can already tell it’s going to hit me where it hurts. I took a break due to family visits and related stuff but I’m fixing to dive back in. 

Moonlight Chicken - I got stalled out on this one just as it was getting good, thanks to some life stuff. I need to pick it back up!

Star Trek: Discovery - I’m a big Star Trek fan and recently rewatched everything from TNG through Voyager, but I hadn’t kept up with any of the newest series in years. I’m so glad I decided to start Discovery because it is shaping up to be one of my favorite Star Trek series. There are a lot of reasons for this. Really great LGBT+ representation is a factor. This is also is the first Star Trek series that has inspired more actor crushes in me than DS9. Michelle Yeoh in a corset! Tig Notaro as a cranky engineer! I’m dying over here. 

Minato's Laundromat season 2 - I was looking forward to this as soon as it was announced, but with the usual anxiety that comes with a second season of a BL. I wasn’t 100% sure about the direction of the season at first, but now it’s settling in with some really interesting themes. 

Reservation Dogs - I wasn’t entirely sure about this show when I first started watching during the first season. But not only did it grow on me, it has also been getting better and better. The latest episode, which focused in part on an abusive government-sponsored boarding school (of the sort designed to rob Indigenous kids of their culture), was one of the best of the series so far. 

Edited to add: I forgot about Kamen Rider Geats! My family has been catching up on it and we're almost caught up just in time for the finale. I'm liking it a lot more than I thought I would when I watched the first few episodes, but not as much as my partner (who said he thinks it's one of his favorite Kamen Rider series he's seen). I'm really impressed with the cast, though. I'd especially like to see the actors who play Keiwa and Buffa in more things in the future.

Currently Reading

I’ve been listening to the audiobook version of The Method: How the Twentieth Century Learned to Act by Isaac Butler for a while now, but I’m having an annoying situation where it keeps getting returned to the library even though I’ve renewed it. I could just start another book, but I don’t want to! This one is really interesting. 

The vast majority of people spend a significant amount of their time watching (non-documentary) movies and TV series, which involves watching actors engage in this specific art form. And we have opinions about what constitutes good or bad acting. Yet most of us know so little about how acting is done, what kinds of theories underpin acting practice, how actors prepare for roles and scenes. I wanted to not only find out more about that, but also dig a little deeper into the differences between approaches and how they’ve branched off and clashed and so forth. 

So far I’ve gotten a lot of good background and plenty to think about, even though I’m just getting to the point where the Method/System/whateveryoucallit is starting to take on in the US. I’m guessing it’s going to get even more relevant from there.

Current Obsession

I’m always obsessing about lots of things so I’m probably never going to be able to identify just one. Some currents ones are:

waiting for Utsukushii Kare: Eternal to be available with English subtitles somewhere, somehow

foraging blackberries, making jelly out of them, and baking biscuits to go with the jelly

waiting for it to be fall already because I hate sweating and I love wearing layers

finding my Animal Crossing character some decent glasses

thinking about possible BL/Jane Austen parallels for tumblr posts

finishing a post about psychological aspects of Utsukushii Kare that I’ve been writing off and on for months and that has gotten so long it will probably have to be split up into 3-4 posts

Serge Lutens Jeux de Peau perfume (my beloved)

I didn't tag anyone. It makes me anxious and I think pretty much everyone I know on here has been tagged! Except @porridgefeast, who's welcome to do it if she feels like it but (of course) no pressure.

[yorshie]

🍓🕯️📚 for the ask game please?

Lucky! Of course! I'm sorry this sat for a few days!

how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

hmmmm.... I wrote a Loki/reader oneshot based off of Tom Hiddleston reading this book called.... I think it was The Scarlet Necklace? Yea... it was bad, so so bad. I decided to jump right off the boat and write smut for my first fic. It's still up on AO3. Baby Yorshie wrote that back in the summer after I graduated high school, but I didn't post it for years after when I finally got an AO3 account.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? Why is that?

I LOVE editing for other people. I get to read their stories early? And they trust me enough/value my opinion enough to let me look over their work? *swoon*. Editing for myself however, the first pass is fine because I usually word vomit and then go back and tweak/add for story purposes, but i DETEST looking over my own work for typos. Ugh. Just reread my last fic and Raph like. churred in three paragraphs one right after the other. What was I thinking? How did the fanfic gods not come down and smite me on the spot?

..... still haven't fixed it. Every time I think about it i hiss out loud.

What's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?

oooo you've stumbled onto a little bit of my general head canon story ideas here: The little turtle tat the guys have going on is a sort of safe symbol/Donnie's logo that he puts on caches, safe houses and his tech. Sort of like the bat symbol except not in the fucking sky. Raph likes using the kanji symbol of "Family" to mark things out to the baddies on who kicked their asses in case they didn't figure it out while it was happening. Mikey starts leaving a orange Turtle shell around to fuck with his personal enemies.

thank you for asking! <3

[strangerays]

THIS JUNE: AUGUST WRAP-UP

hello!! this is my first update with the new story. if you're unfamiliar with my book project This June, it is a rewrite and fourth draft of a story I've posted about semi-frequently for the last 3 years called Nothing in Particular and Everything. recently, i aged up the characters and reworked the story with some more mature themes. the characters are in college, and so they face the challenges of growing up, being in relationships, setting boundaries, jealousy, and mental health.

this is the story of ray and judith and the summer that almost tore their friends apart. an arsonist put ray's life and mental health in jeopardy - judith thinks she can find them. with an old, dusty camera and a clear june sky, the girls set out to explore a destroyed landmark in their seaside town. summer in point blink never seemed more boring.

you can read more about the story and meet the characters here!

monthly updates

draft four word count: 15,093

on august first, i decided i still wanted to write this book! however, i'd been stuck for so long writing about high school kids that.. i didn't relate to them anymore. i'm in my second year of college and i needed somewhere to inject my experiences. i needed someone to relate to a little bit more than seventeen year old ray. so, i kept the exact same plot and characters but wrote about them as if a lot of time had passed! i even aged up their relationships and wrote them the way i always imagined they would pan out! luckily, I was able to keep chapter one pretty much exactly the same. even though the characters are now college students, i was still able to use the flashback from when they were seniors in high school. (you'll see that I inserted it in this update)

i finished writing chapters one and two!

i've known these characters for a long time, so i didn't think that they would be difficult to write (i was wrong!!) they are very hard to write. judith especially has been really hard to write because her experiences with her family are so like my own. i was in a hurry to finish writing the first draft of chapter one, so i will definitely have to edit the way i painted her character. anyway, judith has always been the hardest for me to portray, because her story just gets more and more complex with every draft.

lonan has a crazy new side quest!!! i love writing with lonan. he is my good time boy. while ray is struggling at home with depression, he is (sort of) living it up in the city with his boyfriend (situationship) and struggling to make art without feeling guilty about it. he's ok though.

i deleted two old characters and replaced them with madison and oliver. these two play pretty much the exact same role except their friendship with ray is a lot more challenging, while at the same supportive! i think this will be a great opportunity to write a more interesting resolution at the end of the book when it comes to tying up character relationships. they have a very positive force in the book :)

the romance!!!! this book is really sapphic, anyone could guess. i can't say much about it yet but i am so excited about the end of this book just. agh. mental health! friends! hugs! <3

overall, the book is probably going to be around the same length with longer chapters that function more like short stories.

september goals

complete chapter 3

start editing chapter 2

work on character exploration (particularly with judith, utilize creative writing class/poetry)

i've been waaay more confident in my writing capabilities, but not so much the plot. i often struggle to believe that my book is actually interesting, so I hope to improve my confidence.

Excerpts

I was a firm believer that the best art is created when the artist is lonely, angry, or depressed.             The summer my best friend caught his train out of Point Blink, I was surprised to find that I became none of these things. In the weeks before he left for college, we buried a time capsule in his backyard and painted his bedroom walls a calm cerulean. We snuck out of our houses at nighttime to swim in the ocean and built a dark room. My lips always tasted of sunscreen. All my most colorful memories in Point Blink were unplanned in the beginning.             Pine trees crested Point Blink like a wreath, nestled into the bluffs that lifted town up to the sun. Tide pools congested with cigarettes spotted the beach, made pink in the sunlight. Fiddler and horseshoe crabs scuttled across the warm sand. The air was hot with gossip loud as cicada screams. Brackish waves spat salt and sailboats into the air. A man called out, “Stay cool!” over the toll of a bell. Peanut oil dripped from hot dog buns. Somewhere, Fleetwood Mac played on a radio.             Fleeting moments of a closing summer – and the tide receded.             In the last week of August, I did everything possible to avoid post-vacation blues. I rode my bike along Sugarfell’s gravel roads with no destination, wore my darkest pair of sunglasses to people-watch, and fed salami to the minnows the darted around the cusps of tide pools. Usually, I sat still for so long that my elbows turned a deep shade of red and the blood in my toes buzzed. But I was tired of John Mulaney and headaches.             Vacationers checked in and out. The convincing pull of waves at the sand and the familiar scrape of boats against the docks did not calm me down as they once had.                    Earlier that June, I graduated from high school. This was both thrilling and terrifying. In some ways, I had everything I wanted. In others, I was saying goodbye to everything I’d worked so hard for. I was one of the top photography students in my year. I’d finally learned how to drive. I got decent grades. I’d even had my first kiss.             I should have been happy; but I wasn’t even proud. At least – it didn’t feel how it was supposed to feel. No matter what I did, no matter how many parties I went to or late nights I pulled, none of it prepared me for the day my best friend left Point Blink. My vision waxed and waned as he rambled about his classes, apartment, and new eccentric roommate. Something like jealousy – but not so ugly as that – had made a place for itself in the hollowest part of my chest.

chapter one, "PAST TENSE"

Slowly, I folded the jacket and set it between us. “Let’s run away.”             As if I’d suggested we throw ourselves from a dry cliff, Lonan smiled a bemused smile. Freckles frowned across the bridge of his sharp nose. “Are you asking me to kidnap you?”             “You’ll be gentle, you won’t murder me.”             “What’ll we do for food?”             I turned my hands out, grubby from sand and dirt. “I am an excellent thief.”             “At the innocence of French fries.” He wasn’t convinced. “I hope you’re aware what a horrible plan this is – you've schemed it in the last twenty-five seconds.”             “I am not scheming anything.” I eyed him through my knotty pumpkin locks, on the fritz in August heat. “We can change our names. I’ll sleep on the floor. Find a job. Even cook and clean.”             Lonan covered his mouth and laughed softly. “This is not as convincing an argument as you think it sounds.”             “Oh, come on! You need someone to open jars of peanut butter for you.”             “Ray,” Lonan cautioned. He turned his full body towards me. Quite unfortunately, in that moment, reality became much clearer, and I realized how senseless I was being. “This is a daydream. You can’t move away – you have to stay here. You can’t put your entire life on hold for one person.”             For a second, I opened and closed my mouth like a fish. “You sound like my dad,” I finally groaned, rubbing at my temples.             Lonan winced. “We can’t live like degenerates.”             Sometimes, in a very fond sort of way, Lonan really annoyed me. He said exactly what was on his mind when it mattered most. In our chaotic friend group, he was oftentimes the voice of reason. Oftentimes, this was a great thing. The previous summer, he had talked me down from piercing my nose. I was quite a baby when it came to literally any amount of pain, and he knew this well.             “And,” he said, singing with boyish enthusiasm, “you’re going to work hard so you can become an even better photographer than me.”             “No one is better than you.”             “That’s absurd.” But he was smiling. “No matter what you think of me, you have to stay here. You have talent – don’t waste it on me.”             His eyes focused on something distant. I followed his gaze, but found nothing.             “Anyways, as soon as you leave, you’ll miss Point Blink and want to come back.”             I didn’t miss a beat. “Maybe I like Point Blink more when you’re home.” Lonan rubbed his neck, his face all daylily. I tried to focus on the melodic thrill of the waves, but doubt lapped up the walls of my head in little tsunamis. Sometimes, I think that, if I didn’t put so much effort into my friendships, I might not be so angry all the time.

chapter one, "PAST TENSE"

“You taught me to love everything I love, and I love it all because of you.” I nudged his knee with mine. “You’re the reason photography means so much to me. Don’t you know that?”             Lonan didn’t say anything in response to any of this, just pressed his lips together and bobbed his head. Static waves pervaded the silence that stretched between us. Neither of us were particularly skilled with eye contact.             Photography was our thing. I’d never found the same relief in it without him. I’d been obsessed with it when I met him in our freshman year of high school. There were always drawings on his hands that he’d done in purple pen. He carried around a notebook filled with the most amazing drawings I’d ever seen.  Stories he was writing. Projects he was working on. By the end of the day, the sides of his hands were gray with graphite.             I wanted to be just like him; I didn’t want to find out what kind of person I would become when he was gone.             “You never told me any of that,” he mumbled. His voice sounded like he had been standing in the rain for hours.             The familiar discomfort that came along when people were aware of how much I depended on them made me bite my upper lip. I might as well have just given Lonan a day-pass to my existential crises and solopsitisms. “Well people don’t normally get this sentimental in real life,” I laughed.             “Maybe I’ll change my mind,” he said. It was like he hadn’t even heard me. “This might not work. I mean, there aren’t many career options in fine arts, so…”             “You shouldn’t doubt yourself so much,” I interrupted.             “It’s a really competitive field—"             “For fuck’s sake, Lonan,” I said. “Stop.”             He blinked at me, and we just stared at each other. I exhaled and let my body slump into his.             “Sorry,” I said. “You have to do this. You’ve worked way too hard to give up now or change your mind because you’re scared. You shouldn’t be scared because you’re an excellent person. We might not be on the exact same paths, but we can’t let that stop us.”             This was the right thing to do.             “You have good ideas,” I said. “Great ones. Besides, you have lots of exploring to do. Classes to take. New foods to try.” I deepened my voice. “Love to be found.”             Flustered, Lonan squirmed away from me. “Maybe in a houseplant.”             “Well,” I laughed, “love is all the same, isn’t it?”             “Yeah…”             We were quiet.             “Maybe there’s another way,” Lonan’s quavering voice searched. “Maybe I’ll change my mind.”             Dark sleep circled his eyes. With alarm, I realized that his eyes glistened with tears. To hide this, he drew his legs to his chest. I caught his shoulder, rested my chin on his head, and stared worriedly into the horizon, stormy blue like his eyes. His hair smelled like the little confections Katherine sold at Mothouse.             Regret pummeled my chest as I whispered, “You won’t.”             I knew Lonan would never give up, because he was a rebel and I was quiet. He was my focal point. Point Blink was a gauge built on magenta sea glass – and I had a third eye, primal in the growing.             Lonan trembled. I buried my chin in his hair. He sat up and rubbed his eyes with his wrists. They shone green whenever his emotions were on high, a trait he’d inherited from his mom, who had heterochromia.             “I’m sorry, Ray,” he said, tears plipping from his nose.             I pulled him back in and hugged him tighter, until I felt his warm breath snuffling into my shirt. “For what?” I asked, but he either didn’t hear me, or had nothing left to say.

chapter one, "PAST TENSE"

My body felt like it was on fire but in a good way, sort of like how I imagined it might feel to sky dive or swim with sharks. Sunlight flushed my bare shoulders and turned my cheeks pink as nectarines. The sun sat enthroned in the sky, following me as I sped past Butternut Brooke on my bike, sand lifting from the sticky sidewalk. Clouds spilled across the sky the same way sugar spills across a table, and wind swept long, pumpkin-blonde roots over my shoulders. Turtles slipped under the glassy surface. Chirruping frogs soon faded to the chiming arrival of boats at the docks and the chaos of tourists. I was so close to seeing my best friends again that I barely noticed the girl with the blue hat crossing the road. I swerved past her as though she were a waterfowl, my camera swinging from my neck. She shouted something at me, but I was going too fast to hear it.             This June was the first time my friends would all be together since graduating high school. An entire year had passed since we split and decided to go to three different colleges. I had spent the entire year completely alone, with only a few houseplants on our windowsill that Dad and I brought back to life as company. Lonan and Oliver had not even visited for Christmas.             Summer had finally arrived. For the first time in eight months, I wasn’t thinking about writing essays. There was nothing to do; there was everything to do. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been this excited about anything.

chapter two, "THIS JUNE"

For all the chill that frightened most people away, I adored autumn like a friend come to visit. Death hung in the air – just above our heads, barely tangible. Wine-red leaves quivered like tattered coats on maples. Admired in caramel apples and haystacks. Pumpkin patches and haunted mazes. It was the only time of year I found I could be truly comfortable, knowing that, whatever came after, I had control of all that had already happened. It was June - strong waves and wild parties. I had to be ready for anything.

chapter two, "THIS JUNE"

[Lonan] used to recoil at the thought of living with little more than a houseplant. When he met Vick, though, he returned to Point Blink smiling. Suddenly, he was filled with stories from the city as if he’d lived there for years. Before he became a tattoo artist, Vick was halfway through a psychology degree. It was unclear exactly how the two of them had met, but I suspected it had something to do with the fact that Vick needed money from the extra room he was renting to Lonan. He was taking a gap year. His new hobby was flirting with Lonan. The boys shared a two-bedroom apartment with a doggish tabby particularly fond of cupboards. Vick filled the kitchen – wide enough for one person to make a toaster waffle – with Lonan’s plants. He did their laundry and rented movies. He taught Lonan to throw spaghetti on the wall. He had a credit score and a flare for interior design, which were two things Lonan couldn’t stand talking about. He shopped at thrift stores like he shopped for groceries: the apartment was all ornate rugs and vintage mirrors, out-of-print books and even a tuned piano neither of them knew how to play. The walls were all amber and teal. When Vick was bored, he invited people over. He hadn’t drunk proper milk since the seventh grade, which was rubbing off on Lonan. Each night, they ate strawberry oat milk ice cream while Vick helped Lonan study for exams. Vick used words like “litigious” and “jargon”. His friends liked Lonan because it gave him something to take care of. I thought Vick was pretentious as shit, but I was trying not to judge people based on the things they owned anymore. Also, Lonan needed someone who would take him to aquariums and show him how to use the subway. Not long after Lonan moved in, the second bedroom became an art studio, and the cat slept between the boys each night. Sometimes, I wondered why Lonan would ever come home, to Point Blink. After all, he had a boyfriend and a regular coffee order. He was probably busy denying drugs at parties.              My best friend felt so out of reach sometimes. Like I was a whale, floating leagues above my pod.

chapter two, "THIS JUNE"

Point Blink wasn’t built for so much love at once, but it received it anyway – shop doors stayed open, ice cream cones ran low, sunscreen was lathered on thick, the water was crowded, and taut voices in a hurry filled the humid air. People ran around the tall mermaid fountain in their bathing suits. Boat horns blared their call over the clamor of car traffic. The shops that made up the center of town breathed with life, expanding wider and wider as more tourists crowded the doorways. A lot of people I knew who lived in Point Blink – like Dad – were annoyed by the tourists we got every summer, but they didn’t bother me in the slightest. Really, they just reminded me of how loved my town was. How I was a part of something. Every summer felt the same – just as exciting and opportunistic as the last. Fluttery excitement started in my feet and spread to every inch of my body. Last summer, we’d celebrated my nineteenth birthday in the park. This year, I’d be twenty years old. Already, I tasted melting buttercream frosting and tart lemonade on the back of my tongue. I knew all good things ended, but it was June – I could stay perfect for a little while.

chapter two, "THIS JUNE"

Mothouse was all passion: carefully crafted wood and warm colors. Katherine and her sister – Lonan’s mom – opened the coffeehouse with their father when they were just teenagers. Summer came and went with its thunderstorms and left behind a quiet morning rush, smiles passed between hands made warm by cappuccinos and two old friends sharing a table all afternoon. It was the sort of place you wanted to spend hours in, chatting with friends or writing a book.             Twinkling white lights adorned the pastry case. Behind the glass were fresh scones laced with sugar, chocolate chip cookies that gooed when bitten, crumbly, golden blueberry muffins, sliced key lime pie, cupcakes that were mostly buttercream frosting, tarts stuffed with berries, plump cheesecakes, and chunky walnut brownies.             Lonan’s mural spanned the entire wall behind the pastry case. The behemoth had cost him all his senior year. I helped him every weekend – not that I was anywhere near as good as he was with paint. When he added his mark to his family’s business, he made sure it was something that would follow him: a study of the sea outside of Mothouse, fond silhouettes of people gathered by the foamy waves. The waves were made from indigo and lilac; the sand was blue. Rather than a sunset, the entire sky was overcast yellow, the way it always was after a long and heavy thunderstorm.             Walking past the painting, I felt an all too familiar soft pang of longing. It was a permanent look into the way Lonan saw Point Blink, and of what he’d left behind.

chapter two, "THIS JUNE"

I missed Lonan so much that it hurt. When he returned to Point Blink, everything would go back to the same as it had been, when the four of us did everything together.             I was so busy imagining this that I missed it when Oliver walked through the door. Instead, a loud laugh so unlike Madison jolted me upright. By the time my eyes found them, Oliver was already hugging her so tightly that I knew nothing could hurt her for the rest of the summer. He was way taller than she was, so her face was pressed snug against his chest. They hit each other with such a force that they seemed not to breathe for several moments. And they staggered that way as I watched, giddiness rampant as a rabbit kicking around in my own chest.             Oliver looked different, but in a good way. Madison’s hair was as long as her elbows, but he had cut his black hair shorter. Instead of the unruly mess it had been throughout high school, his black hair lay straight, closely cropped to his head. He was wearing an oversized hoodie and a larger pair of clear glasses. If it were even possible, everything about him was louder, and more contained at the same time.             Madison and Lonan were friends long before the rest of our friend group had come together. When they were just seven, Kath attended a yoga class with Madison’s mother, and they often met at Mothouse for coffee afterwards. Because daycare was expensive, Lonan and Madison became quick friends – which was always the way childhood friendships began, out of chance and unreasonable fondness.             When high school started, I met Lonan through photography class. Eventually, I was invited to birthday parties and nights at the movie theater. As the three of us started to hang out more and more, it became apparent that we were inseparable. Our own fortress of impenetrable friendship. When Oliver came along later that year, Madison had turned her nose up at him as though he were a plate of escargot. He played keys in the band; Madison played drums. He was passionate and excited in a way that made you always want to be around him. Though, Madison saw this as a challenge. But as Lonan and I formed our own bond over photography, so did Madison with Oliver – over seemingly nothing at all. They just talked. A lot, about everything. Sometimes, until two in the morning. They were people who went together simply because they got along, and they made each other’s lives far easier than if they had been apart. They fit together more like broken pieces than a puzzle.             Lonan and I knew far before they did that they’d end up together. I remember one particular day when we’d all gone out to eat gelato at the shop down the street from the post office. Lonan and I sat on one side of the bench; Madison and Oliver sat on the other. As he spooned creamy vanilla into his mouth, Lonan snuck knowing smiles to me. One month later, Madison and Oliver were a thing, and they had been ever since.

chapter two, "THIS JUNE"

I pedaled through the sand until the long-familiar whisper of the waves splashed over my tires. The shoreline was cool where sea spit sprayed in the air, turning my cheeks red and ruddy. People used to strip naked and slink into the water here, swim out to the far shore sparse with naked trees and blanketed in purple fog. In elementary school, we sailed there in a rowboat to turn over rocks for salamanders. Now the grass is covered with red Solo cups, the trees strung with underwear, the sand clogged with wigs of seaweed. Dad used to take me on adventures here; and I remember every single one of them. We packed pepperoni and salami in plastic, chilled cans of Pepsi inside a red cooler, and crammed blankets into the backseat of the car with me. He patted my childish, bruised knees, told me I looked like a pearl tucked away in there. The sea, violent and knowing as it romped into the cliff face, opened its great jaws wide as he stomped through the oil-like water, holding me above his waist. I kicked my legs, baby fat jiggling inside his calloused hands, murmuring songs in my little voice. I danced over the murky seaweed beds, pretended I was the Sugarplum Queen or a swan glistening with cool sweat. I created monsters to dive deep and lurk beneath me. I made myself a princess among them, untouchable. Sunlight marbled across the black sea and deepened my cheeks to rose. Unafraid of what lurked beyond verdant patches of lily flowers, I squished cold sand between my toes, rolled onto my back, floated until I was invisible from the shore, sunlight settling deep in my bones. This part of the beach was empty and quiet, far too gunky for anyone to swim; and this was exactly why I loved it.             I was alone again. But it didn’t feel alone.             This was the spot where Lonan and I met.             It had been raining – the end of February always brought rain like the beach was stuck inside of a snow globe, blowing up mist that mussed my hair and tickled my arms. Clouds thick as sheets wrapped Point Blink in an indigo blanket. Overnight, the tides had surged, digging up scallops and sea glass. The beach was totally silent, except for a single boat bell tolling its loneliness. As I was walking on the beach with a plastic bucket, I noticed a pair of footprints appear beside mine, along with those of a dog. I combed my wet hair back with my fingers and narrowed my eyes. At the end of the beach where the sand gave way to Sugarfell flickered a figure, soft at the edges like he was hardly there at all. A boy watched his dog run in circles around him. He tipped his head back in laughter each time the dog barked. Over the waves, I couldn’t hear anything he said, but I immediately knew this was Lonan because of the camera hung over his chest and the flattened curls underneath his hood. We both wore rain jackets. Mine was yellow and his was blue. We were fourteen.

chapter two, "THIS JUNE"

“You know, I see you working all the time at school, and your stuff is really cool,” I said.             Lonan looked up at me, rolling his shoulders a bit. If this was the only time I’d ever get to tell him, it had to be now.             “Like,” I continued, “it seems like you put so much time into stuff, and I think that’s really special. I wish… I wish I could do that. Everything you do is really cool, and it’s just really fun to watch you do it. Sometimes I just wonder about what you keep in your sketchbooks and if you’re ever gonna show anyone what you’re working on, because, in my opinion, that sort of stuff deserves to be loved. You’re sort of the coolest person in our photography class, honestly.”             Lonan was looking at me a bit like I’d just told him I planned on robbing the bank.             “Sorry,” I added. “Is that weird to say?”             He cleared his throat. “I don’t think so – I think it’s really sweet.”             My face was red from the rain flurrying across the water, but I knew it was this too – finally talking to someone I looked up to so much. I shuffled my feet in the sand. “I’d love to know what you’re working on. If you wanted to show me.”             Lonan took a deep breath. “I’ve never really shown anyone my art before.”             “You should.”

chapter two, "THIS JUNE"

It scared me to think that my friends and I might someday drift apart. Maybe it had already begun to happen. If I was being honest, I put a lot more thought into this than I did actually being excited that my friends were all going to be in home again. I knew that, when Lonan’s train arrived, we’d spend loads of time together. My life was perfect – I had nothing to worry about.             I just needed to get out of my head.             Past a crumbling stone wall ran a thin river, ringed with little brown mushrooms. A mossy bridge curved like a heart over the mottled water. I paused there and ran my fingertips over the velvety wood, poking every jagged splinter. Leaning forward, I put my chin on my hands so I could see my reflection on the green surface. A crayfish scuttled along the mirky bottom, and I was reminded of the time Oliver had caught one with his bare hands. Lonan had almost fallen in the water that day, and Madison caught him by the back of his shirt. All of the pictures I’d taken that day were still hanging beside my bookshelf in my bedroom. Still tracing the outline of the crayfish with narrowed eyes, I lifted my camera from my chest and took a photo. I hadn’t eaten much yet, so my fingers were shaking. So badly I wished my friends were with me.             I crossed the bridge. The dark wood ahead shed a glow of purple.             Sometimes I wondered what my life might be like if my friends had never left. Sometimes it felt like I only liked myself when we were at a party or sharing a secret. Sometimes it seemed like when Madison and Oliver started dating, they turned into completely different people. Sometimes I thought Lonan was sad when we were together. Sometimes, I thought I should talk to him about that.             I didn’t tell anyone that, sometimes, I wasn’t sure if I liked college at all. I didn’t tell anyone that I’d had trouble sleeping for the past year. I didn’t tell them that last week I’d lost my appetite almost completely. I couldn’t explain why my chest felt so full of water. I wanted to tell them. There was nobody else I would have rather talked to. But everyone – my friends, Dad, Kath – felt so far away. There is a cliff at the edge of Point Blink where kids twist into the air and throw dust to the vortexing waves; youth dash past eroded caves filled with bird nests that fly by like slots in a mausoleum. A lighthouse with a jammed bell leers over the expanse of heat lightning reflections. Metal gargles against stone in storm weather, warning us all of childish dares. I was a lighthouse: lived in by sailors, travelers, and strangers; pale stone tall and strong against a maelstrom of salt and rock. Moon shells speckled my base, crushed or buried. Clouds passed over the moon, and I opened my eye to cast sickly yellow light over the waves as they smoothed the footprints of my friends, and of Dad, and of me. Point Blink has stood for decades, but I will stand alone for many more, flickering against all the stars, waiting for those I love to return to harbor.

chapter two, "THIS JUNE"

Through the trees and over the static of the waves, something groaned. Like the low whine of a fox or the broken call of a sea bird. But I knew it wasn’t either of those things. It occurred to me then that just because I felt alone, didn’t mean I was alone. The air around me thickened with humidity, and something like fear. I leaned forward slightly. Only my chest rose and fell with purposeful breaths. The sound called out again. Only this time, it was louder. It sounded like something might have been moving around out there. Trying to escape. Claw. Cloy. Gooseflesh rose on my legs. I stiffened trying to stop it. If Lonan were with me, we would have explored. I would have convinced him to wander around with me for hours, and he would have. We would have gotten into trouble for getting home so late, but it would have been worth it. We’d bring home some buried, broken bottle or colorful piece of sea glass and we’d remember the day forever. Whereas Lonan calculated every decision carefully, I never wanted to sit still. I always wanted to do more. Without him, I felt as though I’d lost that part of myself. I wanted it back. In that moment, I decided I had spent enough of the last year waiting for everything to be perfect. This time in Sugarfell belonged to me. Gently, I reached into the barbed brush and pulled apart the branches, enough so I could see the glossy blue of the waves. A field fell over the bluffs like a waterfall and rolled into the ocean. The grass was tall and thick with colorful weeds. All of it was dead, like this mysterious part of the woods hadn’t felt a human’s touch in years. Bugs rose from the yellowed ground, flitting over flowers. The air here was dry yet clear, forcing me to take a deep breath, to smell the salt blowing in from the water.  This view of the ocean was without sailboats or jet-skis. I couldn’t hear any tourists. Interrupting the canvas of the sky stood a tower, silhouetted in gold by the sun. The crows I’d seen in the forest were here too, hopping over the rusty ladder at my feet. I tipped my head back. The tower was taller even than most of the trees in Sugarfell. It seemed to sway in its height. It blocked out the sun and made me shiver in its shadow. Tendrils of ivy hung from the crisscross frame. At the top, there was a structure with a door. Planks from the stairs were missing in places, hanging in the overgrown vines. Dust trickled in the sunlight between their gaps. This must have been where the noise was coming from. Like the tower had been calling out to me. A pit opened in my stomach. I’d grown up in Point Blink, yet it was the first time I’d ever seen a tower like this one. I’d looked out of all the tourist binoculars from the tallest bluffs and I’d never seen this tower. The windows on the structure were like eyes, widening in surprise. How far from town had I wandered?

chapter two, "THIS JUNE"

“I really like it here,” Judith said. “You’re lucky to have grown up in a place as perfect as this.” “It’s not always summer,” I told her. “I don’t know,” she said. “Maybe I’d feel differently if I had someone to talk to." In the moment I looked up from my hands to realize that she was talking about me, there was a horrible groan from underneath us, entirely unhuman – the sound a dying machine makes when it is unable to hold itself up any longer. The stairway shrugged and softened. I held on tight to the railing, peeling wood splintering my skin as I slid down, down, down.

            Slowly, then all at once, I became aware of a tinny smell. The unmistakable smell of burning metal. I didn’t have time to check and see if Judith was still behind me before she crashed into me. Lonan came to me all at once: we were dissolved into black. I tried running to the opposite side of the fire tower, but then there was no ground beneath me. We must not have been that far up, because it didn’t take long for the rest of the tower to collapse beneath us. There was something soft underneath me – my bag or Judith's arm. I could not see the sky – then light exploded from the veil we were trapped in. Judith's hand found mine. She was shouting. I couldn’t tell what she was saying. I dragged myself through the grass, now pasty with smoke, infiltrating my throat, my eyes, my head – everything. It softened the world, made it easier to forget, but no easier to breathe. I wasn’t sure for how long we struggled that way in the growing cloud of smoke. Judith screamed – a sound I never should have heard – and it brought hot tears to my eyes. Distantly, someone else screamed. It might have been me, but I wasn’t sure. Sirens wailed somewhere. We never heard many of them in Point Blink. I smelled of salt and smoke. What a fool I’d been to believe it possible I could carry on without my best friends; and what a fool Judith had been to think she could replace them.

i shared so so many excerpts! i won't always be able to do so because of spoilers and such. i also didn't share much of the book which includes judith since i wasn't happy with her character portrayal.. so sorry about that haha. i hope to show more of her in next month's update!!

thank you so much for reading! i'd like to keep this sort of format for all my updates. once per month is likely attainable during my semester!

now

i am v tired and im going to bed. have to write an APA paper tomorrow -_-

until october,

amber 💚

[missremember]

HoAS Turns 3!

Happy third anniversary to Hero of Another Story! I wanted to have chapter 10 out today, but alack. Real life has been draining me pretty hard. I'm hoping to get it out this month, though!

I started this story in 2020 as what I thought would be a brief eviction of some brainworms during a pretty rough period of my life. Now, HoAS is probably the longest continuous work I've written so far. Like...ever.

Despite how much I THOUGHT I was a good writer when I started, I can actually track, chapter by chapter, my improvement over time. Or, well, maybe it was just a change in style to one I like more. Others can judge, haha. But it's a truly fascinating cross-section, and unlike other projects...I still really like it.

I do have one small announcement about this story, actually: I've decided to break it up into "books."

This is mainly an accessibility decision. HoAS is over 70,000 words long at this point, and assuming I continue it to completion, there will be approximately 26 more chapters. It doesn't affect me either way how long the story is as one work, but I've gotten a lot of feedback about the impediment that is sometimes imposed upon readers when they see fic with a 5-or-6-digit word count, to say nothing of comments I've gotten about chapter length (shoutout to the one person who essentially called it an unreadable wall of text XP). It may sound like I'm making a slightly major decision based purely on criticism, and perhaps to an extent I am, but the way I see it I'm publishing a story that I want other people to read and enjoy, and if that means making what is essentially a formatting adjustment to make that story more accessible then that's fine by me.

Thusly, when chapter 10 comes out, I will be marking it as "complete" and adjusting the title accordingly. I'll also, at that time, be officially placing the story on hiatus, as I've been publishing this story over years, and it...kind of shows. I want to go back and edit the previous chapters to be more consistent and also do some good ol' copy editing, as there are a LOT of things that need fixing in that department as well (including spelling a character's name wrong almost every time that they're mentioned. Yiiiiikes lol). I can't say how long this will last given the length. Granted, I'm also not sure what difference putting something on hiatus makes when that something's fastest update speed between chapters was 2 months lmao.

During this time I'll also be looking to update the other multi-chaps that I have going, so you can look forward to those!

I also just wanr to say that, realistically, I'm aware that I'm not very popular. The audience for my stories compared to a lot of other writers in this fandom is...almost microscopic. But the readers that I have are so kind and so dedicated that I don't really care! To the audience that has been encouraging me to write and cheering me on for the past three years, I thank you from the very bottom of my heart. I wish I could put into words how much the comments, conversations, kudos, and every other thing that has been shared with me means. But hopefully this sappy tumblr post will suffice, lol.

I hope that this story continues to grow with me, and that we can all be excited for what's to come.

Happy birthday, Hero of Another Story! Here's to you!

[bronanlynch]

once again I've watched more anime than done anything else this week but I promise I also have other stuff to talk abt

listening (podcast):

Great Gundam Project: almost done with their 0079 episodes and it's so funny to hear how confused and surprised they are that Newtypes don't get mentioned until the last 10 episodes. also, once again, hearing them talk about Char reminds me that I miss seeing Char on my television screen :/

Palisade: once again it was crazy good this week. shout out to fucked up dream sequences/visions of alternate futures, gotta genuinely be one of my favorite storytelling devices

listening (music): MakeDamnSure by Taking Back Sunday, which is going on my Partizan/Palisade playlist for Balence reasons

reading:

Imperial Uncle: got to more fun reveals that make the main relationship a lot tastier and more fun. still having a good time with this one

The Death I Gave Him: part of the appeal of this book for me (other than that I love Hamlet & Hamlet retellings) is the romance with the sentient lab AI. this should shock absolutely no one (at least no one who knows me as the Sokrates/Integrity guy lol) but I'm real into stuff that explores like, how intimacy works when you don't each have your own separate bodies

A Power Unbound: also started & finished something I've been looking forward to, A Power Unbound by Freya Marske, the third book in a romance/historical fantasy trilogy (different main characters for each) set mostly in Edwardian England. I've enjoyed the other books in the series, and I enjoyed this one too (though I think I prefer the other two for reasons that probably don't have to do with the actual quality of this book and have more to do with what I like & don't like in a main relationship, and actually it's a testament to how strong the writing was that the relationship worked for me anyway, because it did feel earned in terms of both characterization & themes, even though it's the sort of relationship dynamic that I tend to be hesitant about because I often see it done very badly in fanfic in ways that do a disservice to the personalities of both characters involved). anyway. my actual review is that I love fucked up magic houses and there are several of those in this book so shout out to that, and one of the main characters is extremely my type (short, angry, hates the aristocracy, etc)

watching:

I'm in Love with the Villainess: we're caught up now, and I do love class conflict even if I'm sure it's going to be incredibly simplistic and silly because that's the show this is (which I am fine with, to be clear, this is a romance anime based on lovingly parodying otome games, I am treating it with the same kind of seriousness that I would treat something like Scum Villain)

Bakeoff: I'm glad that this year they seem to be better about not putting way too much weight on the showstopper and sometimes deciding star baker based on other challenges like. finally some respect for people who do really well in the signature!!

Legend of the Galactic Heroes: I mean. I've been posting through it about this one so I don't think I have any new insights here just. man. I love it when a major character death is done really well. what a show (positive)

Gundam Seed: you may, at this point, be asking why Seed is our next Gundam after finishing ZZ, especially when every week I talk about pining for Char. the answer is because my roommate watched some of it a while ago and wanted to revisit it, and also because we're saving Char's Counterattack for when we get really desperate for Gundam that isn't Seed. anyway. Seed is fun so far!

the above description of Gundam Seed was written a few days ago when we first started but before we got to the info dump about what's up with Coordinators & Naturals so I'm editing this to say: oof. it really is like what if someone took all of the parts of the original Newtype stuff that I was most skeptical about, took out all of the metaphorical stuff from Zeta that redeemed the concept for me, and then explicitly added literal eugenics. don't like that!

the other thing about Seed is the misogyny which like. god. at least the misogyny in Zeta felt more interesting to think about. at least it felt like Tomino was saying things about gender even if I didn't always like it. this is just peak early 2000s misogyny where everyone including the writers hates women so much that every man comes across as incredibly gay because their relationships with other men are treated so much more seriously

at this point you might be asking what I actually like about this show since I've been complaining for several paragraphs and the answer is I love it when childhood friends end up on the opposite sides of a war. also, a lot of Seed feels like it's trying very hard to Be A Gundam Show (for better or worse tbh, I can feel myself being marketed to, I can practically hear Bandai being like, hey remember how cool it is when a blue-and-white mobile suit fights a pinkish-red mobile suit, don't you want to buy some models), and I am not immune to classic Gundam shit like "oops these kids are involved in a war now because the military was developing a top-secret superweapon right next to where they live" and "your lives are at risk and/or you might get arrested for trying to protect your friends because the higher-ups are incompetent/selfish/do not care about you." I am also not immune to squads of edgy anime boys, or giant robots that each have their own special weapon/power, or whatever the fuck Le Creuset's got going on. I love him. I still miss Char and he's not quite filling that void but I do love him

playing:

another session of my Blades in the Dark campaign, based on the image below (from here). the crew was asked to get the sea serpent to go away and leave ships alone, and absolutely no one was surprised that the secret actual mission was to protect the sea serpent (a baby one) from the coast guard who were going to try to make it leave but more violently because we're playing Blades like it's a game about befriending creatures (see also: Missy is currently trying to resocialize a former fighting goat and Xiao Yun collects extremely fucked up birds)

Ace Attorney 5: not very far into the trial but man. sorry for falling for the trilogy nostalgia but I love to have Edgeworth as a prosecutor, I love the energy that he and Phoenix have, I'm such a sucker for defense attorney & prosecutor working together to find the truth and also they're in love

making: vaguely spanakopita-inspired stuffed pastry wreath. we made it once before and put too much extra vegetable in that released too much water while it was baking so the dough just straight up did not cook. we did it better this time! the dough is actually baked! (it's store-bought crescent rolls, we did not make the dough). anyway. there's spinach and mushroom and herbed goat cheese in there, and it's tasty

drinking: the grocery store had peppermint bark creme liqueur, and it's pretty good in hot chocolate

writing: continued to pick away at a zine fic, figured out what I want to write for my Nirvana in Fire exchange fic, and also did a little bit more on the Integrity fic that I've been working on. it has been a minute since I've written an action scene huh

The Principality knows how to contain divines, to leash them, to defang them and bend their powers to its will. And Integrity is an old divine, and never among the most awe-inspiring. Integrity is a small, quiet thing, precise and intimate and not suited for flashy displays of power like many of its fellows. But it is a divine nonetheless, and when it fights, it brings death. Orbit-and-Integrity steps into the corridor where the Princept fled. Orbit bares their remaining teeth, blood pooling in their mouth and seeping through the seams that begin to open in Integrity’s armor where it no longer has the focus to keep them closed.

[the-missann]

So, this is to my followers and anyone else who fits the bill.

After reading a post about the chance of Google using google docs in their AI learning, I had a large urge overcome me and I really want to do something as a small ant.

As much as I don't like bugs, ants aren't very strong on their own, but we all know the damage they can do as a group.

So, I've decided to make a writing group and if you're interested keep reading. This also isn't just a writing group, it's a group for anything related to writing. So that can be an artists who draw character concepts.

Again, read more if this piques your curiosity...

The Unserious Writing Group

Writing is a serious craft that needs some fun brought back into it. I've been inspired by several people in the last few years and I want to try something to contribute to my favorite thing to do: writing. I've tried to join other groups and it simply doesn't work since my writing doesn't fit into a neat category, so I feel isolated from the group rather quickly, in order to avoid that feeling I'm making as many of the things I do a part of the group's core. I'll also be considering my anxiety into this knowing how tasking it is for me to interact with a group I'm being overwhelmed by.

Plans: I'm better at organizing than actual execution, so I'm making this list of things I want to expand on (06/15/23)

Monthly (or weekly) Prompts

Shameless sharing

Friendly Discussions

Writing Assistance

Review Swaps

Editing Help

Projects

Book Club

Check-ins

Venting about writing

I don't want this group to be just for writers or just for poets, I want to include everyone that I can because I write in almost every genre and include almost every interesting element I can. As long as it's related to writing in some way, you're more than welcome to join!

This includes:

Novelists

Short Story Writers

Poets

Artists

Fanfiction writers

Avid readers

Editors

Critiquers

Playwrights

Song writers

Publishers

Hobby writers

And more!

Every aspiring author or published author knows networking is important and with how little accessible support there is for writers, I want to try and create a space for writers to feel as everyone else does in their field. I can only speak for myself but my journey to publication has been nothing but dead ends and it's very discouraging. Nothing I've tried works and I can't find the exact source to the problem and therefore can't fix it—I don't know if I'm a bad writer or if it's just my cover that's bad.

I want writers to feel like they're heard and supported no matter if you're writing the next Star Wars or a story about pieces of paper thinking they were trees in a former life. I want writers to be acknowledged for giving the world their fandoms.

Despite my ambitions, I obviously have some concerns I feel will come up:

I get overwhelmed easily (and guess what I already am overwhelmed and no one has even joined yet 🤢) and I would need someone to assist me as a co-leader essentially. If anyone would be interested in that role, DM me.

If this moves to Discord or some other platform, I will have no idea how to set that up. For now, I was considering just having a large thread.

Unfortunately, until I can get moderators or any other form of help, I can't have the group open to minors. It would be 18+ only until then, I wanna allow people a safe space to discuss anything.

Activity is a big issue in most writing communities. It comes with it, but I want to have something going on whenever possible.

[owlsandwich]

Hi buddy! Its Athena, I'm sending this out to all my mutuals - what got you into writing, what inspires you, who inspires you and what music inspires you to write? what do you love about writing?

I am so excited to have a question :D

So I read all the time as a child (before videogames arrived to steal my heart), but I think the first time I realised I would like to write a book myself was after finishing Abhorsen by Garth Nix. The ending is so incredible with so many pieces all coming together for the finale, and in that moment I realised I wanted to create something like that.

It wasn't safe for me to have thoughts written down at home though, so I never put my stories on paper. I'd hold them in my mind and add to them each night as I fell asleep, then I'd go back over them again and again, 'editing in my head. They were just for me, so I didn't have a huge desire to have them written down anyway. Then, about 12 years ago I had a dream about these two characters, and it felt so strong that the next day I got out a notebook and scribbled down a chapter about them (I still have it!). By this point I had moved out, and my partner read it and loved it. He kept nagging me to continue, and I tried a few times but didn't actually know anything about writing, so I just kept hitting dead ends.

I didn't write again until four years ago, when I decided to start over on that same project as a form of healing, and because I'd always wanted to go back to it. The original chapter I wrote still exists, (admittedly heavily edited) and is now chapter 3 of the book I self-published last year!

I think I lot of my inspiration comes from reading about human interaction and current events; I process my feelings about the world by layering it onto fantasy and seeing how similar events might play out. I still love Garth Nix, though at the moment I am diving into reading a lot of old classic books - I think my favourite so far was The Count of Monte Cristo.

As far as music goes, I attempted to classical conditon myself into writing my putting on a band I don't normally listen to every time I write. The whole of The Mechanics of Magic was written to a Portugal The Man playlist, and I ended up associating songs with each of my characters, even though the music has nothing to do with the book at all.

My current project was actually inspired by the Ghost song 'Darkness At The Heart Of My Love' though, and since I am just posting it on AO3 I stole the song title for it 😅 I think the work has moved past the initial song inspiration, but I still associate Ghost songs with my Darkness project.

I think I've probably written too much here, but this was so much fun! Thank you!