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istumpysk · 1 year

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Operation Stumpy Re-Read

ADWD: Jon XIII (Chapter 69)

"Let them die," said Queen Selyse.

It was the answer that Jon Snow had expected. This queen never fails to disappoint. Somehow that did not soften the blow. "Your Grace," he persisted stubbornly, "they are starving at Hardhome by the thousands. Many are women—"

"—and children, yes. Very sad." The queen pulled her daughter closer to her and kissed her cheek. The cheek unmarred by greyscale, Jon did not fail to note. "We are sorry for the little ones, of course, but we must be sensible. We have no food for them, and they are too young to help the king my husband in his wars. Better that they be reborn into the light."

Discussion about dying children being reborn into the light interrupted by Shireen kisses.

+.+.+

Melisandre of Asshai stood closer to the fire, the ruby at her throat pulsing with every breath she took. The red woman too had her attendants—the squire Devan Seaworth and two of the guardsmen the king had left her.

I continue to find it extremely suspect that so much attention is being paid to Devan's proximity to Melisandre, while the author also constantly underscores how vulnerable she is.

Remember, it's Devan who is close to Shireen, not Davos. It's Devan who was saved from certain death. Why? Where are we going with that?

+.+.+

Up spoke Ser Malegorn. "Lord Snow, who will lead this ranging?"

"Are you offering yourself, ser?"

"Do I look so foolish?"

Patchface jumped up. "I will lead it!" His bells rang merrily. "We will march into the sea and out again. Under the waves we will ride seahorses, and mermaids will blow seashells to announce our coming, oh, oh, oh."

We will march into the sea and out again.

Death, and restoration to life. I think?

Under the waves we will ride seahorses, and mermaids will blow seashells to announce our coming, oh, oh, oh.

Remember the Merling King?

The Braavosi trading galley hired by Petyr Baelish, that carries him and Sansa to the Vale?

The eastern sky was vague with the first hint of dawn when Sansa finally saw a ghostly shape in the darkness ahead; a trading galley, her sails furled, moving slowly on a single bank of oars. As they drew closer, she saw the ship's figurehead, a merman with a golden crown blowing on a great seashell horn. - Sansa V, ASOS

If it is the Merling King, that would not be the first time Sansa got the mermaid treatment.

Patchface rang his bells. "It is always summer under the sea," he intoned. "The merwives wear nennymoans in their hair and weave gowns of silver seaweed. I know, I know, oh, oh, oh." - Prologue, ACOK

+.+.+

Jon was less amused. "I will not ask my men to do what I would not do myself. I mean to lead the ranging."

This is honourable, but I'm going to say it's the wrong decision. You can't leave Castle Black days after thousands of wildlings crossed the Wall, and the tension is threatening to boil over.

+.+.+

"How bold of you," said the queen. "We approve. Afterward some bard will make a stirring song about you, no doubt, and we shall have a more prudent lord commander."

I went straight to asearchoficeandfire and investigated whether Jorah has ever been called prudent.

Nothing.

+.+.+

Ser Axell went through a door and returned a moment later with Gerrick Kingsblood. "Gerrick of House Redbeard," he announced, "King of the Wildlings."

Gerrick Kingsblood was a tall man, long of leg and broad of shoulder. The queen had dressed him in some of the king's old clothes, it appeared. Scrubbed and groomed, clad in green velvets and an ermine half-cape, with his long red hair freshly washed and his fiery beard shaped and trimmed, the wildling looked every inch a southron lord. He could walk into the throne room at King's Landing, and no one would blink an eye, Jon thought.

"Gerrick is the true and rightful king of the wildlings," the queen said, "descended in an unbroken male line from their great king Raymun Redbeard, whereas the usurper Mance Rayder was born of some common woman and fathered by one of your black brothers."

No, Jon might have said, Gerrick is descended from a younger brother of Raymun Redbeard. To the free folk that counted about as much as being descended from Raymun Redbeard's horse. They know nothing, Ygritte. And worse, they will not learn.

Hold up. Wait a second.

Did Val just lose her fancy title and crown? Is she no longer a princess?

Damn, Selyse stripped her of her entire identity.

+.+.+

"Gerrick has graciously agreed to give the hand of his eldest daughter to my beloved Axell, to be united by the Lord of Light in holy wedlock," Queen Selyse said. "His other girls shall wed at the same time—the second daughter with Ser Brus Buckler and the youngest with Ser Malegorn of Redpool."

"Sers." Jon inclined his head to the knights in question. "May you find happiness with your betrothed."

"Under the sea, men marry fishes." Patchface did a little dance step, jingling his bells. "They do, they do, they do."

+.+.+

Queen Selyse sniffed again. "Four marriages can be made as simply as three. It is past time that this woman Val was settled, Lord Snow. I have decided that she shall wed my good and leal knight, Ser Patrek of King's Mountain."

"Has Val been told, Your Grace?" asked Jon. "Amongst the free folk, when a man desires a woman, he steals her, and thus proves his strength, his cunning, and his courage. The suitor risks a savage beating if he is caught by the woman's kin, and worse than that if she herself finds him unworthy."

I so desperately want this to be about Petyr Bael-ish. Could be, when is anything about Val ever actually about Val?

Everyone thank Jon for putting a bad idea in Ser Patrek's head.

+.+.+

Jon wondered if the queen would be so eager to see Val married to one of her own knights if she knew Val's feelings about Princess Shireen.

Aww, is he saying that's disqualifying? Lol.

Big surprise Jon would never forget a conversation like that.

+.+.+

She [Melisandre] made her way down, the hem of her scarlet skirts swishing over the steps. It almost seemed as if she floated. "Where is your direwolf?"

"Asleep in my chambers. Her Grace does not allow Ghost in her presence. She claims he scares the princess. And so long as Borroq and his boar are about, I dare not let him loose."

+.+.+

"Selyse has the right of this, Lord Snow. Let them die. You cannot save them. Your ships are lost—"

"Six remain. More than half the fleet."

"Your ships are lost. All of them. Not a man shall return. I have seen that in my fires."

Melisandre is always kinda right / kinda wrong, so we'll have to wait and see how this plays out.

+.+.+

"I have made mistakes, I have admitted as much, but—"

"A grey girl on a dying horse. Daggers in the dark. A promised prince, born in smoke and salt. It seems to me that you make nothing but mistakes, my lady. Where is Stannis? What of Rattleshirt and his spearwives? Where is my sister?"

See? There is a sister in grey, there are daggers in the dark, and there is a promised princess born amidst salt and smoke. Kinda right / kinda wrong.

All we needed was Moqorro.

+.+.+

"All your questions shall be answered. Look to the skies, Lord Snow. And when you have your answers, send to me. Winter is almost upon us now. I am your only hope."

She botched this so badly, a raven will come, and he won't send for her. I cry.

+.+.+

"There is still much to decide. Spread the word. I want all the leading men in the Shieldhall when the evening watch begins. Tormund should be back by then. Where can I find Toregg?"

"With the little monster, like as not. He's taken a liking to one o' them milkmaids, I hear."

He has taken a liking to Val. Her sister was a queen, why not her? Tormund had once thought to make himself the King-Beyond-the-Wall, before Mance had bested him. Toregg the Tall might well be dreaming the same dream.

I don't want to rain all over the Val x Jon shipper parade (bwaha lies), but I have to point out that's the second time we've randomly paired Toregg and Val.

"Har!" laughed Tormund Giantsbane. "Don't bandy words with this one, Lord Snow, she's too clever for the likes o' you and me. Best steal her quick, before Toregg wakes up and takes her first."

[...]

But that bridge had been burned a long time ago, and Jon himself had thrown the torch. "Toregg is welcome to her," he announced. "I took a vow." - Jon XI, ADWD

Notice how much Jon doesn't care?

Remember how much Jon hated Joffrey before there was a reason to hate Joffrey? Yeah.

+.+.+

Outside the armory, Mully and the Flea stood shivering at guard. "Shouldn't you be inside, out of this wind?" Jon asked.

"That'd be sweet, m'lord," said Fulk the Flea, "but your wolf's in no mood for company today."

Mully agreed. "He tried to take a bite o' me, he did."

"Ghost?" Jon was shocked.

"Unless your lordship has some other white wolf, aye. I never seen him like this, m'lord. All wild-like, I mean."

He was not wrong, as Jon discovered for himself when he slipped inside the doors. The big white direwolf would not lie still. He paced from one end of the armory to the other, past the cold forge and back again. "Easy, Ghost," Jon called. "Down. Sit, Ghost. Down." Yet when he made to touch him, the wolf bristled and bared his teeth. It's that bloody boar. Even in here, Ghost can smell his stink.

+.+.+

But no sooner had Jon finished than the Lord Steward said, "Her Grace is wise. Let them die."

Jon sat back. "Is that the only counsel you can offer, my lord? Tormund is bringing eighty men. How many should we send? Shall we call upon the giants? The spearwives at Long Barrow? If we have women with us, it may put Mother Mole's people at ease."

"Send women, then. Send giants. Send suckling babes. Is that what my lord wishes to hear?" Bowen Marsh rubbed at the scar he had won at the Bridge of Skulls. "Send them all. The more we lose, the fewer mouths we'll have to feed."

I'm begging you to tell this man about the loan. He's beyond terrified over the lack of food, he won't shut up about it, please tell the man there's money to buy food. Historically people do violent things when there's no food, Jon.

+.+.+

Satin helped them back into their cloaks. As they walked through the armory, Ghost sniffed at them, his tail upraised and bristling. My brothers.

Jon, your wolf is talking.

+.+.+

"How many men do we have in ice cells?" he asked Bowen Marsh.

"Four living men. Two dead ones."

The corpses. Jon had almost forgotten them. He had hoped to learn something from the bodies they'd brought back from the weirwood grove, but the dead men had stubbornly remained dead. "We need to dig those cells out."

[...]

"What would the lord commander like us to do with his corpses?" asked Marsh when the living men had been moved.

"Leave them." If the storm entombed them, well and good. He would need to burn them eventually, no doubt, but for the nonce they were bound with iron chains inside their cells. That, and being dead, should suffice to hold them harmless.

Oh right, the dead corpses. Can't forget about the dead corpses. For some reason they seem important.

I hope this doesn't mean I won't get to read about Gendry running a sub-5 minute marathon in a blizzard.

+.+.+

Someone had already told the Thunderfist about Gerrick Kingsblood and his new style. "King o' the Wildlings?" Tormund roared. "Har! King o' My Hairy Butt Crack, more like."

"He has a regal look to him," Jon said.

"He has a little red cock to go with all that red hair, that's what he has. Raymund Redbeard and his sons died at Long Lake, thanks to your bloody Starks and the Drunken Giant. Not the little brother. Ever wonder why they called him the Red Raven?" Tormund's mouth split in a gap-toothed grin. "First to fly the battle, he was. 'Twas a song about it, after. The singer had to find a rhyme for craven, so …" He wiped his nose. "If your queen's knights want those girls o' his, they're welcome to them."

Is this hinting at someone else? I can't think of anyone other than the Hound.

+.+.+

Mully had not been wrong; the old steward was trembling, his face as pale as the snows outside. "I am being foolish, Lord Commander, but … this letter frightens me. See here?"

Bastard, was the only word written outside the scroll. No Lord Snow or Jon Snow or Lord Commander. Simply Bastard. And the letter was sealed with a smear of hard pink wax. "You were right to come at once," Jon said. You were right to be afraid. He cracked the seal, flattened the parchment, and read.

Welcome to Your Theory is Bad, and Here's Why.

Clydas thrust the parchment forward. It was tightly rolled and sealed, with a button of hard pink wax. Only the Dreadfort uses pink sealing wax. - Jon VI, ADWD

Only the Dreadfort uses pink wax. It is extremely unlikely Clydas wrote this letter and sealed it with pink wax he didn't have on hand.

+.+.+

Your false king is dead, bastard. He and all his host were smashed in seven days of battle. I have his magic sword. Tell his red whore.

Your false king's friends are dead. Their heads upon the walls of Winterfell. Come see them, bastard. Your false king lied, and so did you. You told the world you burned the King-Beyond-the-Wall. Instead you sent him to Winterfell to steal my bride from me.

I will have my bride back. If you want Mance Rayder back, come and get him. I have him in a cage for all the north to see, proof of your lies. The cage is cold, but I have made him a warm cloak from the skins of the six whores who came with him to Winterfell.

I want my bride back. I want the false king's queen. I want his daughter and his red witch. I want his wildling princess. I want his little prince, the wildling babe. And I want my Reek. Send them to me, bastard, and I will not trouble you or your black crows. Keep them from me, and I will cut out your bastard's heart and eat it.

It was signed,

Ramsay Bolton,

Trueborn Lord of Winterfell.

I see lies. If Ramsay had defeated Stannis (or Mors Umber), he'd know Jon doesn't have Theon.

Despite Ramsay having a notable hang-up about being called a bastard,

The dogs swarmed around them, snapping and snarling at the strangers. The Bastard's girls, Reek thought, before he remembered that one must never, never, never use that word in Ramsay's presence. - Reek II, ADWD

and signing this letter with Trueborn Lord of Winterfell, people still believe it's Mance who would excessively call Jon a bastard.

Your theory is bad.

Mance was left behind when Jeyne and Theon escaped (a castle that had no other exits), and was obviously apprehended given everything Ramsay knows. How would Mance be writing letters to Jon Snow? It will be a miracle if Mance has half his fingers left.

Your theory is bad.

Side note, kind of strange Rattleshirt-Mance was last seen in a cage without a cloak.

+.+.+

He handed Tormund Giantsbane the letter. "Here, see for yourself."

The wildling gave the letter a dubious look and handed it right back. "Feels nasty … but Tormund Thunderfist had better things to do than learn to make papers talk at him. They never have any good to say, now do they?"

Lots is made about the fact that Jon never mentions Ramsay's infamous spiky writing.

Ramsay Bolton, Lord of the Hornwood, it read, in a huge, spiky hand. The brown ink came away in flakes when Jon brushed it with his thumb. - Jon VI, ADWD

Hello? It's implied. Tormund can't read, why would he think the letter feels nasty?

Jon knows Ramsay's handwriting, you don't think he's going to immediately question the handwriting if it doesn't match what he's seen before?

Your theory is bad.

+.+.+

Dark wings, dark words. Perhaps there was more truth to those wise old sayings than he'd known. "It was sent by Ramsay Snow. I'll read you what he wrote."

Jon started off this book referring to him as Ramsay Bolton.

"That will bring you to the Dreadfort," said Jon, "but unless your host can outmarch a raven or a line of beacon fires, the castle will know of your approach. It will be an easy thing for Ramsay Bolton to cut off your retreat and leave you far from the Wall, without food or refuge, surrounded by your foes." - Jon IV, ADWD

Now he exclusively uses Ramsay Snow.

+.+.+

When he was done, Tormund whistled. "Har. That's buggered, and no mistake. What was that about Mance? Has him in a cage, does he? How, when hundreds saw your red witch burn the man?"

That was Rattleshirt, Jon almost said. That was sorcery. A glamor, she called it. "Melisandre … look to the skies, she said." He set the letter down. "A raven in a storm. She saw this coming." When you have your answers, send to me.

He doesn't send for her. She would know if Stannis was dead. Ho hum.

+.+.+

Jon flexed the fingers of his sword hand. The Night's Watch takes no part. He closed his fist and opened it again. What you propose is nothing less than treason. He thought of Robb, with snowflakes melting in his hair. Kill the boy and let the man be born. He thought of Bran, clambering up a tower wall, agile as a monkey. Of Rickon's breathless laughter. Of Sansa, brushing out Lady's coat and singing to herself. You know nothing, Jon Snow. He thought of Arya, her hair as tangled as a bird's nest. I made him a warm cloak from the skins of the six whores who came with him to Winterfell … I want my bride back … I want my bride back … I want my bride back …

How dare he call Bran a monkey.

What can I say about this that hasn't already been said? Should I point out the peculiar things Jon liked most about Ygritte?

And maybe her eyes were too far apart, but they were a pretty blue-grey color, and lively as any eyes he knew. Sometimes she sang in a low husky voice that stirred him. And sometimes by the cookfire when she sat hugging her knees with the flames waking echoes in her red hair, and looked at him, just smiling . . . well, that stirred some things as well. - Jon II, ASOS

Should I mention Jon invented a version of Ygritte that never existed?

He could tell she did not believe him. If I could show her Winterfell . . . give her a flower from the glass gardens, feast her in the Great Hall, and show her the stone kings on their thrones. We could bathe in the hot pools, and love beneath the heart tree while the old gods watched over us. - Jon V, ASOS

"Then I'd push him in a stream or throw a bucket o' water on him. Anyhow, men shouldn't smell sweet like flowers."

"What's wrong with flowers?"

"Nothing, for a bee. For bed I want one o' these." Ygritte made to grab the front of his breeches. - Jon V, ASOS

"Who is Ygritte?" Donal Noye asked pointedly.

"A woman of the free folk." How could he explain Ygritte to them? She's warm and smart and funny and she can kiss a man or slit his throat. - Jon VI, ASOS

When his eyelids fluttered open, he was wrapped in thick wool and floating. He could not seem to move, but that did not matter. For a time he dreamed that Ygritte was with him, tending him with gentle hands. Finally he closed his eyes and slept. - Jon VI, ASOS

Should we simply laugh at all the other oddities?

Ygritte punched his arm. "You know nothing, Jon Snow. I'm half a fish, I'll have you know." - Jon V, ASOS

She punched him. "That's vile. Would you bed your sister?" - Jon III, ASOS

"She even claimed we were kin. She told me a story . . ." - Jon VII, ACOK

Or maybe I'll make the argument that Ygritte is no winter rose, and Jon had no desire to steal her.

Jon sat up. "Ygritte, I never stole you."

"Aye, you did. You jumped down the mountain and killed Orell, and afore I could get my axe you had a knife at my throat. I thought you'd have me then, or kill me, or maybe both, but you never did. And when I told you the tale o' Bael the Bard and how he plucked the rose o' Winterfell, I thought you'd know to pluck me then for certain, but you didn't. You know nothing, Jon Snow." - Jon III, ASOS

We're still waiting on that.

+.+.+

"I think we had best change the plan," Jon Snow said.

They talked for the best part of two hours.

Horse and Rory had replaced Fulk and Mully at the armory door with the change of watch. "With me," Jon told them, when the time came. Ghost would have followed as well, but as the wolf came padding after them, Jon grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and wrestled him back inside. Borroq might be amongst those gathering at the Shieldhall. The last thing he needed just now was his wolf savaging the skinchanger's boar.

+.+.+

When Jon and Tormund entered, a sound went through the hall, like wasps stirring in a nest. The wildlings outnumbered the crows by five to one, judging by how little black he saw.

This is only inside the Shieldhall, but it's worth mentioning that when Jon is stabbed the wildlings badly outnumber the watchmen at Castle Black. Not clear whether Bowen Marsh has a plan for that.

+.+.+

"I summoned you to make plans for the relief of Hardhome," Jon Snow began. "Thousands of the free folk are gathered there, trapped and starving, and we have had reports of dead things in the wood." To his left he saw Marsh and Yarwyck. Othell was surrounded by his builders, whilst Bowen had Wick Whittlestick, Left Hand Lew, and Alf of Runnymudd beside him.

We have confirmation on Bowen and Wick, I'm guessing Lew and Runnymudd are the other mutineers.

+.+.+

Borroq leaned against a wall in a dark corner. Mercifully, his boar was nowhere in evidence.

Then why is Ghost agitated? Jon?

+.+.+

Two of Queen Selyse's knights had come as well, Jon saw. Ser Narbert and Ser Benethon stood near the door at the foot of the hall. But the rest of the queen's men were conspicuous in their absence.

They're off stealing The Wildling Formerly Known as Princess.

+.+.+

A flash of red in the back of the hall caught Jon's eye. Lady Melisandre had arrived.

Almost like she was expecting that raven.

+.+.+

"But now I find I cannot go to Hardhome. The ranging will be led by Tormund Giantsbane, known to you all. I have promised him as many men as he requires."

"And where will you be, crow?" Borroq thundered. "Hiding here in Castle Black with your white dog?"

"No. I ride south." Then Jon read them the letter Ramsay Snow had written.

The Shieldhall went mad.

Jon will be murdered before Tormund can leave, so if Melisandre is correct and everyone at Hardhome is doomed, it shouldn't include the Horn-blower.

+.+.+

"The Night's Watch takes no part in the wars of the Seven Kingdoms," Jon reminded them when some semblance of quiet had returned. "It is not for us to oppose the Bastard of Bolton, to avenge Stannis Baratheon, to defend his widow and his daughter. This creature who makes cloaks from the skins of women has sworn to cut my heart out, and I mean to make him answer for those words … but I will not ask my brothers to forswear their vows.

"The Night's Watch will make for Hardhome. I ride to Winterfell alone, unless …" Jon paused. "… is there any man here who will come stand with me?"

The roar was all he could have hoped for, the tumult so loud that the two old shields tumbled from the walls. Soren Shieldbreaker was on his feet, the Wanderer as well. Toregg the Tall, Brogg, Harle the Huntsman and Harle the Handsome both, Ygon Oldfather, Blind Doss, even the Great Walrus. I have my swords, thought Jon Snow, and we are coming for you, Bastard.

This is a hard one, because on one hand we love Jon the character for his big heart, love of family, and constant resistance to injustice, but on the other hand I don't think he should be doing this right now.

I don't view this in the same way I view Ned rebelling against a tyrannical monarchy, or refusing to serve Robert when he wants to commit cruel acts. This is personal vendetta.

Yes, there's the obvious parallel with Brandon Stark attempting to save and avenge Lyanna, but Ramsay has told Jon that Arya has escaped, and Jon is not remotely focused on that. There's no plan whatsoever with regards to finding Arya. Like, come on.

+.+.+

Yarwyck and Marsh were slipping out, he saw, and all their men behind them. It made no matter. He did not need them now. He did not want them. No man can ever say I made my brothers break their vows. If this is oathbreaking, the crime is mine and mine alone.

What's the punishment for oathbreaking, Jon?

+.+.+

Melisandre was gone, he realized, and so were the queen's knights. I should have gone to Selyse first. She has the right to know her lord is dead.

Honestly? Inexcusable. Imagine Catelyn and one of her children finding out Ned died because a bunch of soldiers were screaming about it in a dining hall somewhere.

Jon's a little too consumed with how this letter affects Jon, and what kills me is that if he went to Selyse first, Melisandre would have told him Stannis is not dead.

+.+.+

Horse and Rory fell in beside Jon as he left the Shieldhall. I should talk with Melisandre after I see the queen, he thought. If she could see a raven in a storm, she can find Ramsay Snow for me.

Again.

It's a battle of the bastards!

+.+.+

Then he heard the shouting … and a roar so loud it seemed to shake the Wall. "That come from Hardin's Tower, m'lord," Horse reported. He might have said more, but the scream cut him off.

Val, was Jon's first thought. But that was no woman's scream. That is a man in mortal agony. He broke into a run. Horse and Rory raced after him. "Is it wights?" asked Rory. Jon wondered. Could his corpses have escaped their chains?

You mustn't forget the corpses, everyone.

+.+.+

The screaming had stopped by the time they came to Hardin's Tower, but Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun was still roaring. The giant was dangling a bloody corpse by one leg, the same way Arya used to dangle her doll when she was small, swinging it like a morningstar when menaced by vegetables. Arya never tore her dolls to pieces, though. The dead man's sword arm was yards away, the snow beneath it turning red.

Wait until you meet the new Arya.

"Just leave me be." She wouldn't, though, so finally Arya took the doll away from her, ripped it open, and pulled the rag stuffing out of its belly with a finger. "Now he really looks like a soldier!" she said, before she threw the doll in a brook. - Arya XII, ASOS

+.+.+

He swung the dead knight against the grey stone of the tower, again and again and again, until the man's head was red and pulpy as a summer melon. The knight's cloak flapped in the cold air. Of white wool it had been, bordered in cloth-of-silver and patterned with blue stars. Blood and bone were flying everywhere.

Men poured from the surrounding keeps and towers. Northmen, free folk, queen's men … "Form a line," Jon Snow commanded them. "Keep them back. Everyone, but especially the queen's men." The dead man was Ser Patrek of King's Mountain; his head was largely gone, but his heraldry was as distinctive as his face.

Rest in peace, Ser Patrek of Dallas Cowboy Mountain. Too bad that wildling wasn't worth it.

By the way, Preston Jacobs doesn't believe this guy is dead either. I'm not joking.

+.+.+

Oh no.

+.+.+

A horn, I need a horn. He saw the glint of steel, turned toward it. "No blades!" he screamed. "Wick, put that knife …"

… away, he meant to say. When Wick Whittlestick slashed at his throat, the word turned into a grunt. Jon twisted from the knife, just enough so it barely grazed his skin. He cut me. When he put his hand to the side of his neck, blood welled between his fingers. "Why?"

"For the Watch." Wick slashed at him again. This time Jon caught his wrist and bent his arm back until he dropped the dagger. The gangling steward backed away, his hands upraised as if to say, Not me, it was not me.

+.+.+

Jon reached for Longclaw, but his fingers had grown stiff and clumsy. Somehow he could not seem to get the sword free of its scabbard.

He began to flex his hand, opening and closing the fingers. If he let his sword hand stiffen and grow clumsy, it well might be the end of him, he knew. - Jon II, ACOK

+.+.+

Then Bowen Marsh stood there before him, tears running down his cheeks. "For the Watch." He punched Jon in the belly. When he pulled his hand away, the dagger stayed where he had buried it.

+.+.+

Jon fell to his knees. He found the dagger's hilt and wrenched it free. In the cold night air the wound was smoking. "Ghost," he whispered.

The fighting will be done and someone will tell me whether I'm to live or die. "Lady," she whimpered softly, wondering if she would meet her wolf again when she was dead. - Sansa VII, ACOK

"Jeyne?" Robb grabbed the edge of the table and forced himself to stand. "Mother," he said, "Grey Wind . . ." - Catelyn VII, ASOS

+.+.+

Pain washed over him. Stick them with the pointy end. When the third dagger took him between the shoulder blades, he gave a grunt and fell face-first into the snow. He never felt the fourth knife. Only the cold …

<- The Dragontamer

When he raised his whip, he saw that the lash was burning. His hand as well. All of him, all of him was burning.

Final thoughts:

Beware the Ides of March!

If there's a silver lining, while Jon is being stabbed to death with daggers in the dark, he recalls Arya's pointy end.

AGOT: Jon II -> Daenerys II

"First lesson," Jon said. "Stick them with the pointy end."

Arya gave him a whap on the arm with the flat of her blade. The blow stung, but Jon found himself grinning like an idiot. "I know which end to use," Arya said. - Jon II, AGOT

AGOT: Arya II -> Daenerys III

"Arya, what did you think to do with this … Needle? Who did you hope to skewer? Your sister? Septa Mordane? Do you know the first thing about sword fighting?"

All she could think of was the lesson Jon had given her. "Stick them with the pointy end," she blurted out. - Arya II, AGOT

Yeah Arya, who? Who did you hope to skewer?

Anyway, that sucked. Would not recommend. Bye Jon.

-> return to menu <-

#operation stumpy re-read #adwd #jon xiii

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jennyowenyoungs · 1 year

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from the forest floor is out today! 🌳

You can listen to it here.

This instrumental album was created collaboratively in partnership with John Mark Nelson, and features contributions from Hrishikesh Hirway and Jess Abbott (Tancred). What a gift to make music with people I love! A thousand thanks to OFFAIR Records for inviting me to take a leap and make this record. And a full heart of gratitude for Devan Power for creating the artwork, which I adore so deeply.

My family lived in a house tucked way back into the north Jersey woods until I was thirteen. Growing up, I spent a lot of time in the forest hiking, swimming, catching frogs and fish (then letting them go), and identifying the local flora and fauna using a beat-up field guide. Deer were a daily sight, and it wasn’t uncommon for opossums, raccoons, and black bears to find their way into the yard. In the summer, I’d make plaster casts of animal footprints left along the muddy streambank, and fill up on mulberries straight off the tree (also a popular pastime of the aforementioned bears). Even though I left New Jersey to live in Brooklyn, Los Angeles, and eventually Maine, I can’t separate the magical feeling of walking through those woods from my idea of “home.”

For this project, I wanted to pay tribute to that very feeling, and create a record that feels like time spent in the forests where I grew up: earthy, organic, ambient, hypnotic. The twelve songs of the album cycle through a 24-hour period, beginning at 7am. Each piece is designed to reflect aspects of the time it's representing, from sunrise to dusk, moonset to blue hour.

You can find the album wherever you stream music; I hope you listen to it in the woods.

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teampropertiesgroup · 7 months

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Stop by the 𝐹𝑒𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓋𝒶𝓁 𝑜𝒻 𝒯𝓇𝑒𝑒𝓈 with weekend and check out the Team Properties Group Tree – Nightmare Before Christmas Themed! 𝐀𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝟏 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐦.

𝕊𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕕𝕦𝕝𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝔼𝕧𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕤:

𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐍𝐨𝐯 𝟏𝟕𝐭𝐡

*Open to the Public 9a - 8p

*Senior Lunch 11:30a

*Festival Kick-Off 5p - 8p

𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐍𝐨𝐯 𝟏𝟖𝐭𝐡

*Open to the public 9a - 3p

* Live Auction Dinner 5:30p

𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐍𝐨𝐯 𝟏𝟖𝐭𝐡

*Family Day 12p - 4p

The Festival of Trees helps raise funds to benefit our neighbors faced with health care challenges.

THANK YOU to Summer, Devan, Audrey and Heather for putting our tree together! It turned out great, ladies!

#festivaloftrees #fundrasier #payitforward #christmastree #thenightmarebeforechristmas #jackskellington #spookychristmas #healthbenefit #gillettewy #teamproperties #tpg #camplexwyomingcenter

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blogger360ncislarules · 7 months

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After being forced to push the Season 3 premiere date for its hit comedy Ghosts to February 15, 2024 amidst this summer’s dual strikes, CBS is readying for its return to production, star Danielle Pinnock has revealed.

“We start shooting on Saturday. I fly down to Montreal. We’re going back, baby!” exclaimed Pinnock tonight, in conversation with Deadline at the red carpet premiere for her new Amazon MGM holiday film, Candy Cane Lane. “We did a table read — those scripts are good!”

Pinnock expects the show to shoot “only 10 episodes this season,” rather than the 18+ that have been put out in its first two go-rounds, because of both strike-forced delays and the fact that her co-star Sheila Carrasco is expecting her first child. Still, she teased, “those episodes are fierce and the audiences should prepare themselves.”

Developed for CBS by Joe Port and Joe Wiseman, who serve as showrunners, Ghosts adapts the popular 2019 British comedy series of the same name from BBC Studios. The show follows the story of Samantha (Rose McIver) and Jay (Utkarsh Ambudkar), a struggling young couple whose dreams come true when they inherit a beautiful country house, only to find it’s both falling apart and inhabited by many of the deceased previous residents.

In discussing the show’s forthcoming season, Pinnock revealed that fans can expect to see more of her character, the Prohibition-era lounge singer ghost Alberta, as well as Hetty Woodstone (Rebecca Wisocky), one of the original residents of the home Samantha and Jay inhabit. “This season,” she said, “Alberta’s going to be in her shenanigans.”

Ranking as both the #1 comedy series on Paramount+ and CBS’ most-streamed program, per Nielsen and CBS, Ghosts also stars Brandon Scott Jones, Richie Moriarty, Asher Grodman, Román Zaragoza, and Devan Chandler Long. CBS Studios produces in association with Lionsgate Television and BBC Studios’ Los Angeles production arm. In addition to Port and Wiseman, EPs include Mathew Baynton, Jim Howick, Simon Farnaby, Laurence Rickard, Ben Willbond and Martha Howe-Douglas; Alison Carpenter, Debra Hayward and Alison Owen (Monumental Television); and Angie Stephenson (BBC Studios).

#ghosts #ghosts cbs

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superghfan · 2 years

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Finola Hughes reflects on decades of 'General Hospital'

"General Hospital" taped its 15,000th episode this past June, and it will pass another milestone early next year when the show celebrates its 60th anniversary on ABC.

It is the longest running American soap opera still on the air.

Finola Hughes first joined the cast back in the Spring of 1985, and all these years later, she finds her character, Anna Devane, involved in a steamy, love affair with Valentin Cassadine, played by James Patrick Stuart.

Their on-screen relationship has been praised as "authentic" and "electric," which is all the more unusual because both stars are veterans with decades of acting experience.

"Being in Hollywood, you're reminded constantly that it's done. You're over, and we're not," Finola said. "And, I like to think that maybe I'm holding a torch for women everywhere."

The two characters are one-time enemies who found love this past summer of "General Hospital."

The show's writers took their time bringing the pair together.

"I don't want to rush this," Valentin tells Anna, to which she replies, "we can go slow next time."

"People have sort of gone a little crazy about it," Finola continued. "Twitter kind of blew up, and I have to say at this stage in my life for people to react that well to a love scene on television, I was amazed."

Even more interesting were the tweets of some younger fans.

"They weren't sure about watching this because it was grown-grown people, and I really liked that," she said. "And I retweeted that because it was, two grown people on television in bed."

Finola calls this "gratifying" after a career that has spanned so many decades.

After all, 40 years have passed since she was in "Staying Alive" opposite John Travolta on the big screen.

"Maybe we're just starting to regard women that they don't have a 'sell by' date," she said. "It would be nice. It's a battle hard won."

"General Hospital" airs every weekday afternoon on ABC.

#finola hughes #anna devane #valentin cassadine #general hospital #vanna #interview

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vihilum · 1 year

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He’s been tweaking this track between rehearsals. When he’s taking a smoke break, and when he gets to the studio early enough, just to post up in the parking lot and write. Sometimes, even spending a few minutes longer in the bathroom, his journal perched against the wall. He’s been on his feet all day, and he’s staying upright until he gets it right, scribbling. Until they’re knocking at the door, to check if he’s alive, and drag him back.

He lets them think what they want. The only massive dump he was trying to take in there was the excrement of his creativity. The words don’t always come out the way he hears them in his head. His language spoken to himself is shrouded in whispers, he can listen only in symphonies. He knows what it’ll sound like. He doesn’t always know what he’s going to say until he does.

He’s got this problem with presentation. He’ll hide songs until he feels they’re ready. He’s left hundreds of crumpled scraps easily discoverable by Dev. But to Cody, it’s nothing more than poetry. He writes in ciphers.

Who the fuck can infer what any of it means? When he can’t even tell - it never feels right. Never feels ready.

He still shares every day. One song. Sometimes two. He writes fast, sometimes the melodies come, and the words fill the holes. Every part has its place. Nothing whole, nothing complete. Everything is meant to be woven.

The pieces he throws away leave less room for others to fill. To fully of him, to wholly his, and fragmented.

@sainterror says, “Nobody is interested in the truth right now.”

It’s Dev’s handwriting scrawled across the back of a receipt. The words are small, smaller than usual, squished to fit - Cody finds Dev’s scripture miles tidier than his own, legible. He’s got to bring the paper close to his eyes to read, squinting. He wishes he brought his reading glasses tonight.

“I think it’s a good story,” eyes don’t lift - he’s reading it again, this time in silence. He nods his head, and then his eyes flicker towards Devan’s. It’s been two hours since they wrapped. There’s what they share with the band, and then there’s what they share with each other.

“It’s a fairytale.” Something to believe in. Something to sign on a poster. Something catchy to carry them through the summer.

“What are you interested in?” He doesn’t ask about other people. The grander audience. “I like the truth,” and the grit underlying the ballad, restrained, held under the surface, lingering, “I like this.” It’s good. It works. But this isn’t you.

“Do you like it,” he passes the slip back into Dev’s palm, “enough?”

Legs once sprawled out, are dragged closer as he shifts to face Dev. “Enough to feel it?”

To put on a good show?

#threads: cody patton.#sainterror #dynamic: cody x dev.#hopelessly devoted to youuuu

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draklorn · 1 year

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we gaming (my excuse for dodgy activity)

#❚ ooc #i might not be active but im ALWAYS thinking of devan and related stuff #we're getting closer to summers canon stats B)#anyway SORRY between rl stresses and tripping over into zelda gaming again.... i dont have much of an excuse

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ao3feed-tywin · 2 years

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Westeros Watches The Future

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/4vcAOmo

by GeneralKamil123

This story is not going to have the GoT characters watching the show. They are going to react to the fanfiction "Father of Dragons" by Naerys Blackfyre (and yes they gave me permission to write this) because that fanfiction is in my opinion better than the show. I highly suggest reading "Father of Dragons" before reading this story.

Words: 881, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Game of Thrones (TV)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Categories: F/M

Characters: Jon Snow, Sansa Stark, Arya Stark, Bran Stark, Rickon Stark, Ned Stark, Catelyn Tully Stark, Tyrion Lannister, Tywin Lannister, Jaime Lannister, Cersei Lannister, Brynden "Blackfish" Tully, Daenerys Targaryen, Davos Seaworth, Devan Seaworth, Arianne Martell, Oberyn Martell, Doran Martell, Genna Lannister, Tommen Baratheon, Joffrey Baratheon, Myrcella Baratheon, Melisandre of Asshai, Edmure Tully, Jon Arryn, Jorah Mormont, Gendry (A Song of Ice and Fire), Olenna Tyrell, Mace Tyrell, Margaery Tyrell, Loras Tyrell, Willas Tyrell, Garlan Tyrell, Samwell Tarly, Edd Tollett, Tormund Giantsbane, Robert Baratheon, Renly Baratheon, Stannis Baratheon, Shireen Baratheon, Howland Reed, Meera Reed, Jojen Reed, Petyr Baelish, Theon Greyjoy, Asha Greyjoy, Varys (ASoIaF), Barristan Selmy, Brienne of Tarth, Podrick Payne, Alleras of the Citadel (A Song of Ice and Fire), Bronn (A Song of Ice and Fire), Lady | Sansa Stark's Direwolf, Ghost | Jon Snow's Direwolf, Nymeria | Arya Stark's Direwolf, Robb Stark, Grey Wind | Robb Stark's Direwolf, Shaggydog | Rickon Stark's Direwolf, Summer | Bran Stark's Direwolf

Relationships: Jon Snow/Sansa Stark

Additional Tags: Dragons, Dark Dany, Jon Snow is a Targaryen, Wargs & Warging (A Song of Ice and Fire), Warging, Dragon Eggs (A Song of Ice and Fire)

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/4vcAOmo

#ao3feed #fanfic #ao3feed tywin #ao3feed tywin lannister

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wutbju · 6 months

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WEIRICH, David Lyman. March 9, 2023. Age 82. Beloved husband of Joyce (nee Nofziger).

Loving father of Jeff (Lynn) and Kristen (Kevin) Johns. Adored grandfather of Devan, Ian, Dylan, Jocelyn Johns, Nathan Johns, and James Johns. Dear brother of Denis (Carol) and the late Sharon (Terry) Yoder. Predeceased by his parents Alvin and Irene.

Born on October 25, 1940, Dave grew up in Shipshewana, IN with a rich heritage in a tightknit community.

He attended Bob Jones Academy from 1954 and graduated from Bob Jones University in 1963 with a degree in Business Administration. Dave served in the Army in Vietnam, returning to Ford Motor Company where he worked as a financial analyst for over 35 years. He retired in 1999 and spent his retirement traveling, volunteering summers at Northland University, visiting missionaries and spending time with his family.

An active member of his church through the years, Dave served as a Sunday School teacher, deacon, treasurer and youth sponsor. In 1971 Dave was instrumental in establishing Faith (Calvary) Christian School. He continued to advise and support the school until his death.

Dave was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in 2006. In the years that followed, his unwavering faith in God provided him with grace and strength for each trial.

Visitation Sunday March 19th from 3-8pm at Wujek-Calcaterra & Sons, Inc. 36900 Schoenherr at Metro Parkway (16 Mile). Interment Monday March 20th at 9:30am at Resurrection Cemetery. Memorial Service will be held Monday March 20th at 11am at Faith Baptist Church, 34950 Little Mack Ave, Clinton Township. Memorial contributions can be made in his honor to the Ministry of Marco Nunez, in care of Faith Baptist Church. Please share memories with the family at their "On-Line Guestbook" at wujekcalcaterra.com

#Bob Jones University #BJU Hall of Fame #2023 #Obituary #BJU Alumni Association #David Lyman Weirich #BJA Class of 1958 #Class of 1963 #Calvary Christian School #Faith Christian School #Detroit

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istumpysk · 2 years

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Operation Stumpy Re-Read

ADWD: Jon IV (Chapter 17)

I apologize, it's a battle strategy chapter. Tedious, and difficult to summarize.

"Careful of the rats, my lord." Dolorous Edd led Jon down the steps, a lantern in one hand. "They make an awful squeal if you step on them. My mother used to make a similar sound when I was a boy. She must have had some rat in her, now that I think of it. Brown hair, beady little eyes, liked cheese. Might be she had a tail too, I never looked to see."

<- Daenerys III

We all have a little rat in us. Especially Arya.

For anyone keeping score, that's the second time in a row a Daenerys chapter has ended, and the opening line on the next page is rats.

Dany could hear sounds within the walls, a faint scurrying and scrabbling that made her think of rats. Drogon heard them too. His head moved as he followed the sounds, and when they stopped he gave an angry scream. - Daenerys IV, ACOK

hehehe.

+.+.+

All of Castle Black was connected underground by a maze of tunnels that the brothers called the wormways.

<- Daenerys III

Speaking of Arya. . .

+.+.+

As they did their count, Jon peeled the glove off his left hand and touched the nearest haunch of venison. He could feel his fingers sticking, and when he pulled them back he lost a bit of skin. His fingertips were numb.

<- Daenerys III

"What is this?" Skahaz demanded. "A bloody glove …"

"… means war," said the queen.

+.+.+

"It was a long summer. The harvests were bountiful, the lords generous. We had enough laid by to see us through three years of winter. Four, with a bit of scrimping. Now, though, if we must go on feeding all these king's men and queen's men and wildlings … Mole's Town alone has a thousand useless mouths, and still they come. Three more turned up yesterday at the gates, a dozen the day before. It cannot go on. Settling them on the Gift, that's well and good, but it is too late to plant crops. We'll be down to turnips and pease porridge before the year is out. After that we'll be drinking the blood of our own horses."

[...]

In winters past, food could be brought up the kingsroad from the south, but with the war … it is still autumn, I know, but I would advise we go on winter rations nonetheless, if it please my lord."

The men will love that. "If we must. We'll cut each man's portion by a quarter." If my brothers are complaining of me now, what will they say when they're eating snow and acorn paste?

Update: pomegranate still unhappy.

Why is Stannis not travelling with his own food? I'm irritated by his entire existence.

+.+.+

We could, thought Jon, if we had the gold, and someone willing to sell us food. Both of those were lacking. Our best hope may be the Eyrie. The Vale of Arryn was famously fertile and had gone untouched during the fighting. Jon wondered how Lady Catelyn's sister would feel about feeding Ned Stark's bastard. As a boy, he often felt as if the lady grudged him every bite.

Anyway,

Two storylines appear to be aligning in more ways than one.

"Post guardsmen on the docks. If need be, seize the ships. How does not matter, so long as no food leaves the Vale." - Alayne I, TWOW

+.+.+

Devan was a skinny lad of some twelve years, brown of hair and eye. They found him frozen by the forge, hardly daring to move as Ghost sniffed him up and down. "He won't hurt you," Jon said, but the boy flinched at the sound of his voice, and that sudden motion made the direwolf bare his teeth. "No!" Jon said. "Ghost, leave him be. Away." The wolf slunk back to his ox bone, silence on four feet.

He followed the young squire back across the yard. Ghost padded after them until Jon said, "No. Stay!" Instead the direwolf ran off.

Lady would never.

Ghost appears to be a little agitated, and out of sync with Jon.

+.+.+

Devan looked as pale as Ghost, his face damp with perspiration. "M-my lord. His Grace c-commands your presence." The boy was clad in Baratheon gold and black, with the flaming heart of a queen's man sewn above his own.

"You mean requests," said Dolorous Edd. "His Grace requests the presence of the lord commander. That's how I'd say it."

"Leave it be, Edd." Jon was in no mood for such squabbles.

I agree with Edd.

+.+.+

In the King's Tower, Jon was stripped of his weapons and admitted to the royal presence.

I love when the author repeats inconsequential things.

+.+.+

"Not me. I'm done with those bloody fools." Rattleshirt tapped the ruby on his wrist. "Ask your red witch, bastard."

Rattleshirt is not Rattleshirt, he's glamorized Mance Rayder.

We'll cover it in more detail later, but I should point out now that Mance frequently referring to Jon as 'bastard' is cited as evidence that he wrote the Pink Letter.

Your false king is dead, bastard. He and all his host were smashed in seven days of battle. I have his magic sword. Tell his red whore. - Jon XIII, ADWD

Small problem, that's exactly how Ramsay would provoke Jon.

His lordship was not a bastard anymore. Bolton, not Snow. The boy king on the Iron Throne had made Lord Ramsay legitimate, giving him the right to use his lord father's name. Calling him Snow reminded him of his bastardy and sent him into a black rage. - Reek I, ADWD

+.+.+

Melisandre spoke softly in a strange tongue. The ruby at her throat throbbed slowly, and Jon saw that the smaller stone on Rattleshirt's wrist was brightening and darkening as well. "So long as he wears the gem he is bound to me, blood and soul," the red priestess said. "This man will serve you faithfully. The flames do not lie, Lord Snow."

Perhaps not, Jon thought, but you do.

Both their rubies glow red. Is that confirming Melisandre is a glamorized 92-year-old? Probably.

He thinks Melisandre lies?

+.+.+

"I'll range for you, bastard," Rattleshirt declared. "I'll give you sage counsel or sing you pretty songs, as you prefer. I'll even fight for you. Just don't ask me to wear your cloak."

Clues!

He'll range or he'll sing, but don't ask him to wear a Night's Watch cloak. Mance.

+.+.+

King Stannis said, "Lord Snow, tell me of Mors Umber."

The Night's Watch takes no part, Jon thought, but another voice within him said, Words are not swords.

Jon's committed to breaking every single vow until he leaves. Lol

I give him a hard time over assisting Stannis, but truthfully I'd be so much worse.

+.+.+

The elder of the Greatjon's uncles. Crowfood, they call him. A crow once took him for dead and pecked out his eye. He caught the bird in his fist and bit its head off.

I'm choosing to believe this is about Bran and Bloodraven.

+.+.+

Godry the Giantslayer guffawed. "I had forgotten that you northmen worship trees."

"What sort of god lets himself be pissed upon by dogs?" asked Farring's crony Clayton Suggs.

What sort of god trembles in the presence of sand?

+.+.+

Jon chose to ignore them. "Your Grace, might I know if the Umbers have declared for you?"

"Half of them, and only if I meet this Crowfood's price," said Stannis, in an irritated tone. "He wants Mance Rayder's skull for a drinking cup, and he wants a pardon for his brother, who has ridden south to join Bolton. Whoresbane, he's called."

They've already killed someone disguised as Mance, so that's a pretty low price. Naturally Stannis is still annoyed.

We can only assume Mors (Crowfood) Umber wants a pardon for Hother (Whoresbane) Umber, because he knows Whoresbane is not actually loyal to House Bolton. Greatjon Umber remains a prisoner at the Twins, so House Umber has to play nice.

In case you forgot, Jaime has ordered all prisoners being held at the Twins to be delivered to King's Landing. Let's see if that happens.

+.+.+

"Have other lords declared for Bolton too?"

The red priestess slid closer to the king. "I saw a town with wooden walls and wooden streets, filled with men. Banners flew above its walls: a moose, a battle-axe, three pine trees, longaxes crossed beneath a crown, a horse's head with fiery eyes."

"Hornwood, Cerwyn, Tallhart, Ryswell, and Dustin," supplied Ser Clayton Suggs. "Traitors, all. Lapdogs of the Lannisters."

"The Ryswells and Dustins are tied to House Bolton by marriage," Jon informed him. "These others have lost their lords in the fighting. I do not know who leads them now. Crowfood is no lapdog, though. Your Grace would do well to accept his terms."

She's seeing a vision of the northern houses gathered at Barrowton for Jeyne and Ramsay's wedding.

House Dustin grouped with House Ryswell. Not ideal if you're wanting Queen in the North Barbrey Dustin to flip.

+.+.+

Stannis ground his teeth. "He informs me that Umber will not fight Umber, for any cause."

Jon was not surprised. "If it comes to swords, see where Hother's banner flies and put Mors on the other end of the line."

That's odd. I can't see House Umber being split in any battle, so this must be about House Karstark.

+.+.+

The Giantslayer disagreed. "You would make His Grace look weak. I say, show our strength. Burn Last Hearth to the ground and ride to war with Crowfood's head mounted on a spear, as a lesson to the next lord who presumes to offer half his homage."

"A fine plan if what you want is every hand in the north raised against you. Half is more than none. The Umbers have no love for the Boltons. If Whoresbane has joined the Bastard, it can only be because the Lannisters hold the Greatjon captive."

Let me tell you, Stannis Baratheon is surrounded by the best people.

Jon figures out the Umber plot rather quickly.

+.+.+

"That is his pretext, not his reason," declared Ser Godry. "If the nephew dies in chains, these uncles can claim his lands and lordship for themselves."

"The Greatjon has sons and daughters both. In the north the children of a man's body still come before his uncles, ser."

"Unless they die. Dead children come last everywhere."

They're discussing House Umber, but once again it's pointing to House Karstark.

Of course there's many other examples of uncles and aunts stealing birthrights. :)

+.+.+

"I know all about your vows. Spare me your rectitude, Lord Snow, I have strength enough without you. I have a mind to march against the Dreadfort." When he saw the shock on Jon's face, he smiled. "Does that surprise you? Good. What surprises one Snow may yet surprise another. The Bastard of Bolton has gone south, taking Hother Umber with him. On that Mors Umber and Arnolf Karstark are agreed. That can only mean a strike at Moat Cailin, to open the way for his lord father to return to the north. The bastard must think I am too busy with the wildlings to trouble him. Well and good. The boy has shown me his throat. I mean to rip it out. Roose Bolton may regain the north, but when he does he will find that his castle, herds, and harvest all belong to me. If I take the Dreadfort unawares—"

"You won't," Jon blurted.

Lol, shut down.

+.+.+

Where to begin? Jon moved to the map. Candles had been placed at its corners to keep the hide from rolling up. A finger of warm wax was puddling out across the Bay of Seals, slow as a glacier. "To reach the Dreadfort, Your Grace must travel down the kingsroad past the Last River, turn south by east and cross the Lonely Hills." He pointed. "Those are Umber lands, where they know every tree and every rock. The kingsroad runs along their western marches for a hundred leagues. Mors will cut your host to pieces unless you meet his terms and win him to your cause."

I don't know about you guys, but if I was trying to win back Winterfell, I'd want this guy calling the shots.

+.+.+

"Siege towers can be raised if need be," Stannis said. "Trees can be felled for rams if rams are required. Arnolf Karstark writes that fewer than fifty men remain at the Dreadfort, half of them servants. A strong castle weakly held is weak."

In case you're unaware, Arnolf Karstark is feigning loyalty to Stannis.

+.+.+

He means to plunder our armory, Jon realized. Food and clothing, land and castles, now weapons. He draws me in deeper every day. Words might not be swords, but swords were swords. "I could find three hundred spears," he said, reluctantly. "Helms as well, if you'll take them old and dinted and red with rust."

Enough, Jon.

+.+.+

"Drinking from Mance Rayder's skull may give Mors Umber pleasure, but seeing wildlings cross his lands will not. The free folk have been raiding the Umbers since the Dawn of Days, crossing the Bay of Seals for gold and sheep and women. One of those carried off was Crowfood's daughter. Your Grace, leave the wildlings here. Taking them will only serve to turn my lord father's bannermen against you."

Who's the daughter?

He brings up a good point. Hard to envision the wildlings and House Umber / House Mormont fighting on the same team.

+.+.+

"Horpe and Massey aspire to your father's seat. Massey wants the wildling princess too. He once served my brother Robert as squire and acquired his appetite for female flesh. Horpe will take Val to wife if I command it, but it is battle he lusts for. As a squire he dreamed of a white cloak, but Cersei Lannister spoke against him and Robert passed him over. Perhaps rightly. Ser Richard is too fond of killing. Which would you have as Lord of Winterfell, Snow? The smiler or the slayer?"

Theon or Ramsay?

+.+.+

Jon said, "Winterfell belongs to my sister Sansa."

+.+.+

"I have heard all I need to hear of Lady Lannister and her claim."

There's so many deaths to look forward to, and this guy is right up there.

+.+.+

"You could bring the north to me. Your father's bannermen would rally to the son of Eddard Stark. Even Lord Too-Fat-to-Sit-a-Horse. White Harbor would give me a ready source of supply and a secure base to which I could retreat at need. It is not too late to amend your folly, Snow. Take a knee and swear that bastard sword to me, and rise as Jon Stark, Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North."

I desperately want to live in a world where Lord Too-Fat-to-Sit-a-Horse has Eddard Stark's son to rally behind.

Osha pls.

+.+.+

Stannis looked disgusted. "Your father was a stubborn man as well. Honor, he called it. Well, honor has its costs, as Lord Eddard learned to his sorrow. If it gives you any solace, Horpe and Massey are doomed to disappointment. I am more inclined to bestow Winterfell upon Arnolf Karstark. A good northman."

"A northman." Better a Karstark than a Bolton or a Greyjoy, Jon told himself, but the thought gave him little solace. "The Karstarks abandoned my brother amongst his enemies."

Doesn't this guy pride himself on being the most honourable person in the world? (He's not.)

Again, full credit to Jon, if these were my options I would have abandoned the Night's Watch in a second.

+.+.+

"Then you mean to go ahead with this attack?"

"Despite the counsel of the great Lord Snow? Aye. Horpe and Massey may be ambitious, but they are not wrong. I dare not sit idle whilst Roose Bolton's star waxes and mine wanes. I must strike and show the north that I am still a man to fear."

Isn't this guy supposed to be a great battle commander?

+.+.+

"The merman of Manderly was not amongst those banners Lady Melisandre saw in her fires," Jon said. "If you had White Harbor and Lord Wyman's knights …"

He won't, but you will.

+.+.+

"Some of your own Sworn Brothers would have me believe that you are half a wildling yourself. Is it true?"

"To you they are only arrow fodder. I can make better use of them upon the Wall. Give them to me to do with as I will, and I'll show you where to find your victory … and men as well."

[...]

"This had best not be some bastard's trick. Will I trade three hundred fighters for three thousand? Aye, I will. I am not an utter fool. If I leave the girl with you as well, do I have your word that you will keep our princess closely?"

She is not a princess. "As you wish, Your Grace."

Lying liar.

Update: the treadmill is no longer a princess. What a wild ride this will be.

+.+.+

The clans have not seen a king since Torrhen Stark bent his knee. Your coming does them honor. Command them to fight for you, and they will look at one another and say, 'Who is this man? He is no king of mine.' "

"How many clans are you speaking of?"

"Two score, small and large. Flint, Wull, Norrey, Liddle … win Old Flint and Big Bucket, the rest will follow."

Let's pray the clans are savvy enough to abandon Stannis before they all die.

If they do survive, safe to say they'll be Team Stark in the battle for Winterfell.

+.+.+

"When the Young Dragon conquered Dorne, he used a goat track to bypass the Dornish watchtowers on the Boneway."

"I know that tale as well, but Daeron made too much of it in that vainglorious book of his. Ships won that war, not goat tracks. Oakenfist broke the Planky Town and swept halfway up the Greenblood whilst the main Dornish strength was engaged in the Prince's Pass." Stannis drummed his fingers on the map. "These mountain lords will not hinder my passage?"

Why does this feel like relevant information?

+.+.+

That was the last thing Jon Snow would have wanted, but before he could object, the king said, "Where would you have me lead these stalwarts if not against the Dreadfort?"

Jon glanced down at the map. "Deepwood Motte." He tapped it with a finger. "If Bolton means to fight the ironmen, so must you. Deepwood is a motte-and-bailey castle in the midst of thick forest, easy to creep up on unawares. A wooden castle, defended by an earthen dike and a palisade of logs. The going will be slower through the mountains, admittedly, but up there your host can move unseen, to emerge almost at the gates of Deepwood."

Stannis rubbed his jaw. "When Balon Greyjoy rose the first time, I beat the ironmen at sea, where they are fiercest. On land, taken unawares … aye. I have won a victory over the wildlings and their King-Beyond-the-Wall. If I can smash the ironmen as well, the north will know it has a king again."

And I will have a thousand wildlings, thought Jon, and no way to feed even half that number.

Someone wake up Asha Greyjoy.

To summarize this chapter, Stannis was prepared to march to his death until Jon stepped in and crafted his entire battle plan.

Why would anyone expect Stannis to be successful when he doesn't have Jon guiding him?

Final thoughts:

It will never be clear to me how Shireen burns when half the north separates Stannis and Shireen.

Obviously it happens, I just don't know how. Why does he retreat to the Wall instead of Deepwood Motte?

-> return to menu <-

#operation stumpy re-read #adwd #jon iv

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cyarskaren52 · 6 months

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these are the films that deserve the golden popcorn and others that deserve rotten tomatoes

The 10 best movies of 2023 (and 4 worst)

EW critics rank the films that stood out for both good and bad reasons this year.

Updated on December 8, 2023

The movie theater became a party again, and not just because the patron saint of cinemas Nicole Kidman declared it so. Barbenheimer, Tom Cruise, the Eras and Renaissance concert film extravaganzas, and the TikTok trend-spawning onscreen antics of Barry Keoghan put people in seats in a big way, even as the Hollywood industry at large had been dealing with months-long writer and actor strikes. Of the titles that stood out for the right reasons, here are the best movies of 2023, as selected by EW's critics — plus a few that stood out for the wrong reasons.

The 10 Best Movies of 2023

10. 'Barbie'

Barbie breezed into the summer to paint the world pink. The movie takes what could have been an extended Mattel commercial and channels the complicated legacy of the beloved doll into a story about the toxic impact of the patriarchy and the pressures of performative femininity. With a touch of studio system whimsy, director Greta Gerwig trusses up her feminist fantasia in a Technicolor musical package replete with some of the best jokes of the year. Margot Robbie perfectly treads the line between blissful ignorance and tongue-in-cheek awakening as Barbie, while Ryan Gosling is divinely goofy (and surprisingly vulnerable) as "just Ken." But perhaps the movie’s greatest sleight of hand is its ability to puncture the fantasy of Barbie’s Dream House and pack an emotional wallop while never losing its sense of humor. Life in plastic is decidedly not fantastic, but Barbie is SUBLIME! — Maureen Lenker

9. 'The Boy and the Heron'

Legendary director Hayao Miyazaki has been threatening to retire for more than 20 years now, vowing with each new film that this one reallywill be his last. Thank goodness, then, that he reneged on that oath and returned for his first film in a decade, the moving and magical adventure The Boy and the Heron. Inspired by the 1937 Japanese novel How Do You Live?, Miyazaki’s latest is a lavish and heartrending saga, following 12-year-old Mahito (voiced in Japanese by Soma Santok and in English by Luca Padovan) as he grapples with the death of his mother and finds himself sucked into a mystic world of talking birds and twisty dream logic. In many ways, The Boy and the Heron feels like a culmination of Miyazaki’s many interests: the destruction of war, the magic and mystery of flight, the inherent unknowability of death. The original Japanese voice cast is extraordinary, but the English dub also deserves praise, with a stacked cast that includes Dave Bautista, Florence Pugh, Mark Hamill, Christian Bale(who returns to Studio Ghibli to voice Mahito’s father, almost 20 years after starring in Howl’s Moving Castle), and Robert Pattinson (who is delightfully unrecognizable as the heron, shapeshifting between graceful bird and crotchety old man). Mahito’s dream world swings between inviting and horrifying, populated by adorable, blobby creatures and cannibalistic parakeets. But how lucky are we that it’s a world we get to visit? — Devan Coggan

8. 'The Holdovers'

Seacia Pavao/FOCUS FEATURES

Of all the presents the year in cinema brought us, the fact that oft-cynical director Alexander Payne delivers the most earnest, feel-good movie of the year is the most surprising. The Holdovers, shot with the grit and lived-in warmth of a 1970s picture, follows a group of misfits thrown together over the 1970 holiday break. There’s curmudgeonly history professor Paul Hunham (Paul Giamatti at his most humane), grieving school cook Mary Lamb (Da’Vine Joy Randolph defining the power of smiling through tears), and troubled student Angus Tully (revelatory discovery Dominic Sessa), left behind by his own family. The film embodies the Christmas carol lyrics of “muddling through somehow,” blending the inherent melancholy of the season with timeless themes of generosity of spirit and goodwill. The Holdovers is a new holiday classic in its blissfully unsentimental tale of found family, a bittersweet reminder that sometimes the greatest gift of all is connection. — M.L.

7. 'Poor Things'

Yorgos Lanthimos/Searchlight Pictures

Poor Things offers up a female Frankenstein mixed with 19th-century bildungsroman as it follows Bella Baxter (a piquant Emma Stone), a reanimated corpse who embarks on a journey of self-discovery under the lascivious guidance of Duncan Wedderburn (a deliciously unhinged Mark Ruffalo). Bursting with visual exuberance, Yorgos Lanthimos’ film is a feminist parable of desire and a life lived unapologetically. Through the unique eyes of Bella, Lanthimos crafts a tale that is both a feast for the eyes and the soul in its reminder that the mere act of being alive is fascinating. That’s certainly true when a film this provocative, romantic, poignant, and daringly funny is there for our viewing pleasure. — M.L.

6. 'May December'

Francois Duhamel/courtesy of Netflix

Like the petals of a flower or the wings of a butterfly, there are many rich layers of meaning to Todd Haynes’ latest masterpiece. On the surface, the story of Gracie Atherton-Yoo (Julianne Moore) and her much younger husband Joe (Charles Melton, in a heartbreaking performance) bears a strong resemblance to the real-life tabloid story of Mary Kay Letourneau and her student-turned-lover Vili Fualaau. But May December smartly sidesteps the lurid details of true-crime stories in favor of even more unsettling ideas. Instead of seeing how Gracie took advantage of Joe back then, we get contradictory memories explained to Elizabeth Berry (Natalie Portman), an actress seeking to play Gracie in a movie. As the lines blur between fact and fiction, reality and entertainment, May December raises big questions (What is the difference between love and seduction? Is adaptation inherently exploitative?) and teaches us not to expect easy answers. — Christian Holub

5. 'Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret'

Since its publication in 1970, Judy Blume’s novel has been an enduring favorite with young readers, a heartfelt ode to growing up (and all its accompanying horrors). It’s also a book that Blume herself has fiercely protected, and the author refused to sell the film rights for more than 50 years, until she met with writer-director Kelly Fremon Craig (The Edge of Seventeen). The resulting film adaptation was well worth the wait, as Craig delivers a sharp, funny, and devastatingly relatable tale, following preteen Margaret (Abby Ryder Fortson) as she navigates a move from New York City to the Jersey suburbs. The film retains the book’s 1970s setting, but Margaret’s struggles feel enduringly timeless, as she grapples with religion, awkward first kisses, and the general gruesomeness of puberty, guided by geeky dad Herb (Benny Safdie) and frazzled mother Barb (Rachel McAdams, in a warm performance that deserves awards attention). Like the book, Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret is an instant coming-of-age classic, the kind that will remain relatable for years to come. — D.C.

4. 'Saltburn'

Perhaps no film is more polarizing this year than Saltburn, a perversely Gothic take on obsession, wealth, and desire that pulls precisely zero punches. Barry Keoghan leads a stellar ensemble as a wolf in sheep’s clothing, Oliver Quick. It’s a magic trick of a performance, riveting in the sheer audacity and abandon with which he attacks his most outrageous scenes. When rich, pretty boy Felix (Jacob Elordi) invites Oliver home to the titular manse for the summer, it sets in motion a tragic spiral that draws Oliver into the orbit of the Catton family (brought to life by one of the year's best acting ensembles). With Promising Young Woman, Emerald Fennell established her wholly unique voice, but Saltburn refines it, soaking her provocateur's lens in the excesses of old money and the mesmerizing power of want. There’s no wilder ride at the movies this year, nor one more visually arresting. Saltburn made us lose our minds — in the best possible way. — M.L.

3. 'Killers of the Flower Moon'

It’s easy to imagine what Killers of the Flower Moon might have looked like in a lesser filmmaker’s hands. David Grann’s 2017 book centers on the Osage Reign of Terror, when white settlers in 1920s Oklahoma systematically targeted and murdered wealthy Osage people. Another director might have tackled the topic as a dusty period piece, one that keeps its victims (and murderers) at arm’s length. Instead, Martin Scorsese and co-writer Eric Roth literally climb into bed with their subjects, zeroing in on the marriage between Osage woman Mollie Burkhart (Lily Gladstone) and her white husband Ernest (Leonardo DiCaprio). The result is a film that’s part crime epic, part gut-wrenching marital drama. Over the course of its three-and-a-half-hour runtime, Killers of the Flower Moon spotlights the inherent sickness of the American Dream, revealing an unflinching look at greed, murder, race, and power. Scorsese recruits several of his frequent collaborators for the effort, including DiCaprio and Robert De Niro as Ernest’s powerful uncle. But it’s Gladstone who serves as the film’s beating heart, elevating every frame with a silent glance or a carefully chosen line. More than anything, she makes Mollie feel alive, a reminder that this hundred-year-old story is closer in time than you might think. — D.C.

2. 'Past Lives'

Much has been made in recent years over the disappearance of heartwarming Hollywood romantic comedies, as superheroes and other blockbuster franchises sucked up all the big-screen oxygen. Maybe that’s why Past Lives, whose writer protagonist Nora Moon (Greta Lee) wonders if she truly belongs with her husband Arthur (John Magaro) or her long-lost childhood sweetheart (Teo Yoo), made such an impact this year. But though there are laughs to be had in Past Lives (Arthur’s novel, which we see him signing in bookshops, is literally called Boner), Celine Song’s directorial debut is definitely more of a romantic tragedy, thanks to the most emotionally devastating gut punch of the year. Still, it feels like a necessary corrective to Hollywood’s recent obsession with the multiverse (represented by some of the worst movies of 2023, as you can see below). Outlandish villains from beyond time and space are tired at this point, but anyone can relate to wondering what other directions your life might have taken. — C.H.

1. 'Oppenheimer'

Theory and practice. Those are the two poles that define atomic physics, international communism, and Christopher Nolan’s magnum opus. When viewers first meet Cillian Murphy’s incarnation of J. Robert Oppenheimer, he is a theoretical physicist so in tune with new scientific ideas that he can literally see the beauty of the quantum world all around him. He is also a young idealist who can’t help but be sympathetic to the socialist movements that sprouted up across the world between the two great wars. Over the course of the movie, Oppenheimer works hard to bring his ideas into practical reality, only to realize afterward that he may have destroyed the very things he loved so much. Full of big ideas, breathtaking spectacle, and incredible performances, Oppenheimer(along with its eternally entwined opposite, Barbie) points the way to a bright new future for Hollywood movies, while also reminding us not to take the stability of our own world for granted. — C.H.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: All of Us Strangers, Mission: Impossible — Dead Reckoning Part One, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, Asteroid City, M3GAN, Priscilla, Anatomy of a Fall, The Zone of Interest, Suzume, John Wick: Chapter 4.

The Worst Movies of 2023

'Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania'

The herald of superhero fatigue, the harbinger of CGI overload, Quantumania is superhero movies at their worst. And considering how much was riding on the film setting up Jonathan Majors as the new Thanos for the next "phases" of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it's shocking how complacent this movie feels as just a thoughtless product of the MCU algorithm. Who knew Marvel's smallest hero could make such a big mess? — Nick Romano

'Ghosted'

This dreckish action rom-com made Chris Evans “America’s Ass” in a new sense, with its flaccid pairing of his fish-out-of-water farmer and Ana de Armas’ CIA agent, who has more chemistry with her gun than her costar. Swipe left, trust us. — M.L.

'The Flash'

This bloated DC dud is utterly devoid of charm or wonder, trading actual storytelling for an endless parade of fan-servicey callbacks and desperate cameos. Also, between this, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, Loki, and Everything Every All at Once, we’re officially calling for a moratorium on multiverse stories. The upcoming Spider-Verse sequel gets a pass, but everyone else? You’re on thin ice. — D.C.

'Expend4bles'

More energy went into where to place the "4" than this franchise that should've retired long ago. — N.R.

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