#Did Claude killed you? /j | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lushscreamqueen · 4 months

Text

The Rocky Horror Picture Showeth Shakespearian English version. - by Lushscreamqueen

The Rocky Horror Picture Showeth

Shakespearian English version. - 2018

(SONG) SCIENCE FICTION DOUBLETH FAVOUR

Usherette: Michael Rennie wast ill

The Day the Earth did stand Still

But he did tell us whence we standeth.

And Flash Gordon wast thither

In silver underwear,

Claude Rains wast the eyeless sir.

Then something did wend wrong

For Fay Wray and King Kong;

They did get did do catch in a celluloid jam.

Then at a deadly pace 't did do cometh From Outer Space. And this is how the message did runneth:

Chorus: Science fiction, doubleth favour

leech X wilt buildeth a creature.

See androids fighting Brad and Janet

Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet

Wo Oh Oh Oh Oh

At the late night, doubleth favour, picture showeth.

Usherette: I did knoweth Leo G. Carrol wast ov'r a barrel at which hour Tarantula did take to the hills.

And I very much did get hot

at which hour I did see Jeanette Scott

mortal arbitrament a triffid yond spits poison and kills.

Dana Andrews did do sayeth Prunes

did giveth him the runes

And passing those folk did use lots of arts.

But at which hour Worlds Collide,

did do sayeth George Powell to his bride,

"I'm gonna giveth thou some lacking valor thrills, Like a.

Chorus: Science fiction, doubleth favour

Leech X wilt buildeth a creature.

See androids fighting Brad and Janet

Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet

Wo Oh Oh Oh Oh

At the late night, doubleth favour, picture showeth.

I wisheh to wend Oh Oh Oh

To the late night doubleth favour picture showeth

By RKO, Oh Oh Oh

To the late night doubleth favour picture showeth

In the back row,

Oh Oh Oh To the late night, doubleth favour,

Picture showeth….

~~~

Dentonian: H're those gents cometh! Photographeth'r: alloweth's receiveth a picture. Closeth togeth'r anon. The folks and then the grandparents. Aye, all the closeth family. Ahhh, holdeth yond. quite quaint. And. smileth! congratulations!

Ralph: I guesseth we finally didst t, I understand you not.

Brad: I bethink not th're's any doubteth about yond. Thee and Betty has't been almost inseparable since thee hath met in Leech Scott's refresh'r courses.

Ralph: Well to bid thee the sooth, Brad, yond's the only reasoneth i hath shown up in the first lodging.

Betty: O. K. thee guys, this is't.

Ralph: Well Betty's going to throweth the bouquet.

Janet: I did get t! I did get t!

Ralph: Ho big fella, looks liketh t couldst beest thy turneth next, eh?

Brad: Who is't knoweth.

Ralph: Well, so longeth, seeth thee Brad. Guesseth we bett'r receiveth going anon Betty. Cometh on, hopeth in. Seeth ya, Brad!

Janet: Oh Brad, wasn't t wond'rful? didn't Betty behold radiantly quite quaint? I can't believeth t. An hour ago the lady wast just plain fusty Betty Munroe and anon. anon the lady's Mrs. Ralph Hapschatt.

Brad: Aye Janet, Ralph's a lucky Sir.

Janet: Aye.

Dentonian Wench: I at each moment caterwauling at weddings.

Brad: Uh, ev'ryone knoweth yond Betty is a wond'rful dram cook.

Janet: Aye.

Brad: Wherefore Ralph himself, that gent'll beest in line f'r a promotion in a year 'r two.

Janet: Aye.

Brad: Ho Janet.

Janet: Aye brad?

Brad: I've did get something to sayeth.

Janet: Uh i understand you not.

Brad: I very much loveth the. skilful way. Thee did beat the oth'r girls, to the bride's bouquet.

Janet: Oh Brad.

(SONG) ALAS’T JANET..

Brad: The riv'r wast deep but I did swim t. (Janet)

The future is ours so alloweth's planeth t. (Janet)

So prithee, bid not me to can t. (Janet)

I've one thing to sayeth and yond's dammit, Janet i loveth thee.

The road wast longeth but i ranneth t. (Janet)

Th're's a fireth in mine own heart and thee fan t. (Janet)

If 't be true th're's one daw f'r thee then I am t. (Janet)

I've one thing to sayeth and yond's

Alas’t Janet I loveth thee.

H're's a ringeth to proveth yond I'm nay jok'r.

Th're's three ways yond loveth can groweth.

Yond's valorous, lacking valor, 'r mediocre.

Oh, J-a-n-e-t I loveth thee so.

Janet: Oh, t's nic'r than Betty Munroe hadst. (oh Brad)

Anon we're engag'd and I'm so fain (oh Brad)

Yond thee hath met mother and thee knoweth father. (oh Brad)

I've one thing to sayeth and yond's Brad,

I'm nimble-footed, f'r thee too.

Oh Brad.

Brad: Oh. Alas 't !

Janet: I'm nimble-footed.

Brad: Oh, Janet.

Janet: F'r thee.

Brad: I loveth thee too

Brad & Janet: Thither's one thing did leave to doth - ah - oo.

Brad: And yond's wend see the sir

who is't did do beginneth 't. (Janet)

At which hour we did meet in his science exam - 't (Janet)

did maketh me giveth thou the eye and then panic. (Janet)

Anon I've one thing to declare and yond's,

Alas ‘t Janet,

I love thou.

Alas ‘t Janet.

Janet: Oh Brad, I'm nimble-footed.

Brad: Alas’t, Janet.

Brad & Janet: I love thou.

~~~

Narrator: I would like, ah, if 't be true I may, . To taketh thou on a strange journey. 't did seem a fairly ordinary night at which hour Brad Majors and his fiancee Janet Weiss, two young, ordinary, healthy kids, didst leave Denton yond late November evening, to visit a Leech, Everett Scott, ex-tutor, and anon cater-cousin to both of those folk. 't's true thither wast dark storm clouds, heavy, black, and pendulous, towards which they wast embarking.

'T's true, eke, yond the spare Wheel they wast carrying wast badly in needeth of some repair, but, uh, they being ingraft kids and, on a night night out.

Well, they wast not going to did let a storm spoil the events of their evening, wast they?

On a night out. 't wast a night out they wast going to recall. For a very long time.

~~~

Janet: Gosh, yond's the third carriage yond's did pass us. They sure doth taketh their liveth in their hands, what with the weather and all.

Brad: Ay, life's quaint vile to yond type.

Janet: Oh.. What's the matter, Brad ladybird?

Brad: Hmmm. We wilt hast taken the wrong fork a few miles back.

Janet: Oh, but whence did do yond carriage cometh from?

Brad: Hmmm. Well I guess we'll just hast to turn back.

Janet: Oh! What wast yond bang?

Brad: We wilt hast a breaketh. ALAS ‘T ! I did knoweth I shouldst hast gotten yond spare wheel did fix. Well, thou just stayeth hither keepeth warm and I'll wend for holp.

Janet: But whence wilt thou wend in the middle of nowhere?

Brad: Didn't we passeth a castle back down the road a few miles? Haply they hast a Messenger I couldst did lie-to.

Janet: I'm going with thou.

Brad: Oh, nay, ladybird, thither's nay sense in both of us getting did wet.

Janet: I'm coming with thou! Besides ladybird, the owner of yond messenger might beest a quite quaint mistress, and thou might nev'r cometh back again.

Brad: Heh, heh, heh, heh.

(SONG) OV’R AT THE FRANKENSTEIN LODGING

Janet: In the velvet darkness, Of the blackest night, Burning bright, thither's a guiding star. Nay matter what or who is't thou art.

Brad & Janet: Thither's a light.

Chorus: Ov'r at the Frankenstein lodging.

Brad & Janet: Thither's a light.

Chorus: Burning in the fireplace.

Brad & Janet: Thither's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life.

Riff Raff: The darkness wilt wend down the river of night's dreaming. Flow morphia slow, did let the travelling lamp and light cometh streaming Into mine life. Into mine life.

Brad & Janet: Thither's a light.

Chorus: Ov'r at the Frankenstein lodging.

Brad & Janet: thither's a light.

Chorus: Burning in the fireplace. Thither's a light, a light

Brad & Janet: In the darkness of everybody's life.

Brad: I can see the flag fly I can see the rain Just the same, thither hath did get to beest Something better hither for thou and me.

~~~

Narrator: And so, 't did seem yond fortune did has't did smile on Brad and Janet and yond they did has't did find the assistance yond their plight required.. Or did has't they?

Janet: Brad, did shalt we wend back, I'm bitter cold and I'm gasted.

Brad: Just a moment Janet, they might hast a messenger .

Riff Raff: Valorous morrow to thee, sir.

Brad: Good morrow! Mine name is Brad Majors, and this is mine fiancee, Janet Weiss. I wonder if 't be true thou couldst holp us. Thou see, our carriage did do break down a few miles up the road. Doth thou hast a messenger we might did lie-to?

Riff Raff: Thou're did wet.

Janet: Ay - 't's raining.

Brad: Ay.

Riff Raff: Ay. I bethink haply thou better both cometh inside

Janet: Thou're too kind… Oh Brad, I'm gasted. What kind of a lodging is this?

Brad: Oh, 't's belike some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos.

Janet: Oh.

Riff Raff: This way.

Janet: Art thou having a party?

Riff Raff: thou've arrived on a rather special night. 't's one of the master's affairs.

Janet: Oh, lucky him.

Magenta: Thou're lucky, he's lucky, I'm lucky, we're all lucky! Ha ha ha.

(SONG) THE TIME WARP

Riff Raff: 't's astounding; Time is fleeting; Madness doth take its toll. But hark closely.

Magenta: Not for very much longer.

Riff Raff: I've did get to keepeth control. I recall doing the time-warp Drinking those moments at which hour The blackness would did hit me

Riff & Magenta: And a void would beest calling.

Transylvanians: did shalt we doth the time-warp again. Did shalt we doth the time-warp again.

Narrator: 't's just a jump to the did leave.

All: And then a grise to the right.

Narrator: With thy hands on thy hips.

All: thou endue thy hams in tight.

But 't's the pelvic did thrust

yond very much drives thou insane.

Did shalt we doth the time-warp again.

Magenta: 't's so dreamy,

Oh figure free me.

So thou can't see me,

Nay, not at all.

In another dimension,

with voyeuristic intention,

Well secluded, I see all.

Riff Raff: With a did bite of a mind flip

Magenta: Thou're into the time slip.

Riff Raff: And nothing can ever beest the same.

Magenta: Thou're spaced out on sensation.

Riff Raff: Like thou're under sedation.

All: Did shalt we doth the time-warp again. Did shalt we doth the time-warp again.

Columbia: Well I wast walking down the street

just a-having a bethink

at which hour this snake of a guy

did giveth me an evil wink.

He did shake me up, he did take me by hoyday

He did has't a pickup cart,

and the flibbertigibbet's eyes.

He did stare at me and I did feel a changeth.

Time did mean nothing, nev'r would again.

All: Did shalt we doth the time-warp again

Did shalt we doth the time-warp again.

Narrator: 'T's just a jump to the did leave!

All: And then a grise to the right.

Narrator: With thy hands on thy hips.

All: Thou endue thy hams in tight.

But 't's the pelvic did thrust

yond very much drives thou insane.

Did shalt we doth the time-warp again.

Narrator: 'T's just a jump to the did leave!

All: And then a grise to the right.

Narrator: With thy hands on thy hips.

All: Thou endue thy hams in tight.

But 't's the pelvic did thrust

yond very much drives thou insane.

Did shalt we doth the time-warp again.

Janet: Brad, declare something.

Brad: Declare, doth any of thou guys wot how to Madison?

Janet: Brad, prithee, did shalt we receiveth out of hither.

Brad: For God's sake keepeth a grip on yourself Janet.

Janet: But 't. 't seemeth so unhealthy hither.

Brad: 'T's just a party, Janet.

Janet: Well - I wanteth to wend.

Brad: Well we can't wend anywhere until I receiveth to a messenger.

Janet: Well then asketh the butler or someone.

Brad: Just a moment, Janet - we don't wanteth to interfere with their celebration.

Janet: This isn't the Junior Cubiculo of Commerce, Brad.

Brad: They're belike foreigners with ways different than our own. They may doth some moo. Folk dancing.

Janet: Behold, I'm bitter cold, I'm did wet, and I'm just plain gasted!

Brad: I'm hither - thither's nothing to worry about.

(SONG) SWEET TRANSVESTITE

Frank: How doth thou doth,

I See thou've did meet mine Faithful handyman.

He's just a dram did do bring down

Because at which hour thou knapped

He did do bethink thou wast the candyman.

Don't receiveth did string out by the way I behold.

Don't judge a booketh by its covereth.

I'm not much of a sir by the light of day

But by night I'm one hell of a lover.

I'm just a sweet transvestite

From Transsexual, Transylvania.

Did let me bewray thou 'round

Haply playeth thou a sound.

Thou behold like thou're both quaint groovy.

Or if 't be true thou wanteth something visual

Yond's not too abysmal,

We couldst taketh in an corky Steve Reeves tale.

Brad: I'm fain we did do catch thou at home,

couldst we did lie-to thy messenger?

We're both in a did bite of a hie.

Janet: Right.

Brad: We'll just declare whence we art,

Then wend back to the cart.

We don't wanteth to beest any worry.

Frank: Well thou did get did do catch with a champain,

well, how 'bout yond?

Well, babies, don't thou panic.

By the light of the night

't'll all seemeth valorous now.

I'll receiveth thou a satanic mechanical.

I'm just a sweet transvestite

From Transsexual, Transylvania.

Wherefore don't thou stayeth for the night?

Riff Raff: Night.

Frank: Or haply a bite?

Columbia: Bite.

Frank: I couldst bewray thou mine minion obsession. I've been making a sir With blond hair and a tan

And he's valorous for relieving mine.

Tension I'm just a sweet transvestite

From Transsexual, Transylvania.

Did hit 't, did hit 't!

I'm just a sweet transvestite

Frank, Columbia, Riff Raff, Magenta: Sweet transvestite

Frank: From Transsexual,

Columbia, Riff Raff, Magenta: Transylvania.

Frank: So - cometh up to the lab,

And see what's on the slab.

I see thou shiver with antici --- pation.

But haply the rain

Is very much to censure.

So I'll remove the cause.

But not the symptom.

Janet: Oh! Brad!

Brad: 't's valorous now Janet. We'll playeth 'long for anon and dismount the aces at which hour the time is right.

Columbia: Oh, but soft, but soft! 't's too nice a job to drive.

Brad: good morrow, mine name is Brad Majors, and this is mine fiancee, Janet Weiss; ah. Thou art?

Columbia: thou're very lucky to beest did invite up to Frank's laboratory. Some people would giveth their right armeth for the privilege.

Brad: People like thou haply.

Columbia: Ha! I've seen 't.

Riff Raff: cometh 'long - the master doesn't like to beest did keep waiting.

Magenta: Shift 't!

Janet: Is he, um, Frank I cullionly - is he thy husband?

Riff Raff: The master is not yet did marry, nor doth I bethink he ever wilt beest. We art simply his meiny.

Janet: Oh.

Frank: Magenta, Columbia - wend assist Riff Raff. I wilt entertain. Uh i understandeth thee not i understandeth thee not.

Brad: Brad Majors. This is mine fiancee, Janet "Vice".

Janet: Weiss.

Brad: Weiss? Um.

Frank: Enchante. Well! How nice. And what charming underclothes thou both hast. But hither. Did put these on. They'll maketh thou feeleth less. Vulnerable. 't's not oft we taketh visitors hither, did let high-lone tender those folk. Hospitality.

Brad: Hospitality? All we did want to doth wast to did lie-to thy messenger, God alas ‘t, a reasonable request which thou've chosen to ignore!

Janet: Brad, don't beest ungrateful.

Brad: Ungrateful!

Frank: How forceful thou art, Brad. Such a perfect specimen of manhood. So. Dominant. Thou wilt beest awfully fustian of him, Janet.

Janet: Well, ay I am.

Frank: doth thou hast any tattoos,

Brad? Brad: forsooth not! Frank: Oh well. How about thou?

Janet: nay.

Riff Raff: Everything is in readiness, master. We merely await thy. Word.

Frank: Tonight, mine unconventional conventionists. Thou art about to witness a new breakthrough in biochemical research. And elysium is to beest mine! 't wast strange the way 't betid. Suddenly thou receiveth a breaketh. Whole pieces seemeth to fit into lodging, not a sign of being. What a daw! The answer wast thither all the time, 't did take a bawbling accident to maketh 't befall. AN ACCIDENT.

Magenta & Columbia: An accident!

Frank: And yond's how I did discover the secret, yond elusive ingredient, yond SPARK yond is the breath of life. Ay, I hast yond knowledge. I hold the secret. To life. Itself! Thou see, thou art fortunate for tonight is the night yond mine quite quaint creature is destined to beest BORN! Hoopla!.

Frank: Throweth ope the switches on the sonic oscillator. And grise the reactor power did input THREE moo POINTS!

Janet: Oh, Brad!

Brad: 'T's valorous now, Janet!

Frank: Oh! Rocky!

(SONG) BODKIN OF DAMOCLES

Rocky: The bodkin of Damocles is hanging ov'r mine mazzard,

And I've did get the humour someone's gonna beest cutting the thread.

Frank: Thou blinking clotpole!

Rocky: Oh, woe is me, mine life is a misery.

Oh, can't thou see, yond

I'm at the start of a quaint big downer.

I did wake up this morn

with a start at which hour

I did fall out of catch but a wink chamber.

All: yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: And did leave from mine dreaming wast a humour of unnameable dread.

All: yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: mine high is base,

I'm did dress up with nay lodging to wend.

And all I wot is

I'm at the start of a quaint big downer.

Frank: Oh, Rocky!

All: Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: Oh ho nay nay

All: Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: Oh ho nay nay

All: Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: Oh ho nay nay

Rocky: The bodkin of Damocles

is hanging ov'r mine mazzard.

Frank: Well, very much!

All: Yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: And I've did get the humour

someone's going to beest cutting the thread.

All: Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: Oh, woe is me,

mine life is a mystery

And, can't thou see,

yond I'm at the start of a quaint big downer

All: Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: Oh nay nay nay.

All: Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: Oh nay nay nay.

All: Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime,

Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime,

Sha-la-la.

Frank: Well very much. Yond's nay way to behave on thy first day out.

Rocky: Fie fie

Frank: But since thou're such an exceptional beauty, I am did prepare to forgive thou.

Rocky: Fie fie

Frank: Oh, I just love success.

Riff Raff: He's a credit to thy genius, master.

Frank: ay.

Magenta: A triumph of thy wilt.

Frank: Ay.

Columbia: He's O.K.

Frank: O.K? O.K? I bethink we can doth better than yond. Humph! Well, Brad and Janet, what doth thou bethink of him?

Janet: Well, I don't like men with too many muscles.

Frank: I didn't maketh him FOR thou! He carries the Charles Atlas seal of approval.

(SONG) I CAN MAKETH THOU A SIR (part I)

Frank: A weakling weighing ninety-eight pounds

wilt receiveth sand in his visage

at which hour did kick to the did grind;

And lief in the gym with a did determine chin,

The did sweat from his pores as he worketh for his cause

wilt maketh him glisten. And gleam.

And with massage, and just a dram did bite of steam,

He'll beest pink and quite crisp

He'll beest a stout sir.

Oh honey.

Frank & Transylvanians: But the wrong sir.

Frank: He'll englut nutritious high protein.

And swallow raw eggs.

Tryeth to buildeth up his shoulders,

his chest, arms, and, forks.

Such an effort if 't be true

he only did knoweth of mine plan.

In just seven days.

Frank & Transylvanians: I can maketh thou a sir.

Frank: He'll doth press-ups, and chin-ups,

doth the snatch, crisp and jackanapes.

He thinkest dynamic tension wilt beest hard worketh.

Such strenuous living I just don't understandeth,

at which hour in just seven days, oh baby, .

I can maketh thou a sir.

Columbia: Eddie!

(SONG) HOT PATOOTIE (BLESS MINE SOUL)

Eddie: There's few or none will entertain

it betid to Saturday night,

at which hour thou did dress up sharp

and thou did feel valorous now?

'T don't seemeth the same since cosmic light

did do cometh into mine life,

I did do bethink I wast divine.

I did use to wend for a ride with a wench who is't'd wend,

And hark to the music on the mintrels showeth;

AN instrument wast blowin' in a rock 'n roll bewray.

Thou did climb in the back seat,

thou very much did has't a valorous time.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Mine mazzard did use to swim

from the civet I smelled.

Mine hands kind of fumbled

with that lady white plastic belt.

I'd gust that lady baby pink lipstick

and yond's at which hour I'd melt

And the lady'd whisper in mine ear

tonight the lady very much wast mine.

Receiveth back in front,

did put some hair oil on

Buddy Holly wast singing

his very last song.

With thy arms 'round thy wench

thou'd tryeth to sing 'long.

'T did feel quaint valorous.

Woo! Thou very much did has't a valorous time.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Frank: One from the vaults. …. Oh baby. Don't beest did upset. 't wast a mercy killing. He did has't a certain naive charm, but nay muscle. Oh!

(SONG) I CAN MAKETH THOU A SIR (part II)

Frank: But a deltoid and a bicep.

A hot groin and a tricep.

Maketh me, oooh, shake,

maketh me wanteth to taketh

Charles Atlas by the

Ha-ha-handeth.

Frank & Transylvanians: In just seven days I can maketh thou a sir.

Frank: I don't wanteth nay dissention, just dynamic tension.

Janet: I'm a muscle fan.

Frank: In just seven days,

I can maketh thou a sir

Dig 't if 't be true thou can

In just seven days,

I can maketh thou a sir.

Transylvanians: Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah!

Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah!

Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah.

Narrator: Thither art those who is't declare yond life is an illusion, and yond reality is but a figment of the imagination. If 't be true this is so, then Brad and Janet art quite safe, . However, the sudden departure of their host. And his creation. Into the seclusion of his sombre bridal suite did has't did leave those folk humour both apprehensive and uneasy, a humour which did groweth as the other guests departed, and they wast shown to their separate cubiculos.

~~~

Janet: who is't is't? Who is't's thither?

Frank (Brad): 't's only me,

Janet. Janet: Oh, Brad ladybird, cometh in. Oh! Brad Oh. Ay, mine ladybird. But what if 't be true.

Frank (Brad): 'T's valorous now, Janet, everything's going to beest valorous now.

Janet: Oh, I desire so, mine ladybird. Oh. Ah. Ahh OHHH! Oh 't's thou!

Frank: I'm afraid so, Janet, but isn't 't nice.

Janet: Oh, thou beast, thou cockatrices. Oh what hast thou done with Brad?

Frank: Oh, well, nothing. Wherefore, doth thou bethink I shouldst?

Janet: thou fopped me.I wouldn't hast.I've nev'r. Nev'r.

Frank: ay, ay I wot, but 't isn't all lacking valor, is't? I bethink thou very much did find 't quite pleasurable.

Janet: Oh, cease.I cullionly holp. Brad Brad. Oh Brad!

Frank: Shhh. Brad's belike asleep by anon. Doth thou wanteth him to see thou like. This!

Janet: Like this. Like how! Oh, 't's thy fault. Thou're to censure. I wast saving myself.

Frank: Well, I'm sure thou're not did spend yet.

Janet: Gage thou did win't betoken Brad?

Frank: Cross mine heart and desire to kicketh the bucket.

~~~

Frank (Janet): Oh, Brad ladybird, 't's nay valorous hither. 't'll destroy us.

Brad: Don't worry Janet, we'll beest aroint from hither in the morn.

Frank (Janet): Oh, Brad thou're so stout and protective.

Brad: thou! Frank: I'm afraid so, Brad, but isn't 't nice.

Brad: wherefore thou! What hast thou done with Janet?

Frank: Nothing. Wherefore? Doth thou bethink I shouldst?

Brad: Thou fopped me, I wouldn't hast.I've nev'r nev'r. Nev'r.

Frank: Oh ay ay, I wot. But 't isn't all lacking valor, is't? Not yea half lacking valor, I bethink thou very much quite did enjoy 't.

Frank: Oh. So soft.

Brad: Cease 't. Cease 't. Oh Janet. JANET!

Frank: Shhh! Janet's belike asleep by anon, doth thou wanteth that lady to see thou. Like this!

Brad: Like this, like how? 't's thy fault, thou're to censure, I did do bethink 't wast the real thing!

Frank: Oh cometh on, Brad, admit 't, thou did like 't, didn't thou? Thither's nay crime in giving yourself ov'r to pleasure,

Brad. Oh Brad, thou've did waste so much time already. Janet needn't wot, I did win't betoken.

Brad: Well, gage thou did win't betoken.

Frank: On mine mother's graoouuuuuu.

Riff Raff: Master, Rocky hath broken his chains and did vanish. The new playmate is loose and somewhere on the grounds. Magenta hath just released. The dogs.

Frank: Mmmmm? Coming!

~~~

Janet: What's happening hither? Whence's Brad? Whence's anybody?

Oh, Brad. Brad, mine ladybird, how couldst I hast done this to thou? Oh, if 't be true only we hadn't did maketh this journey. If 't be true only the car hadn't broken down. Oh, if 't be true only we wast amongst cater-cousins. Or sane persons, Oh Brad, what hast they done with him. ….

…..Oh, Brad, Oh Brad-How couldst thou?

Rocky: Errrrrr

Janet: Oh, but thou're did hurt. Did do they doth this to thou? Hither, I'll dress thy wounds. Baby thither.

~~~

Narrator: Emotion, agitation or disturbance of the mind. Vehement or excited mental state. 't is eke a powerful and irrational master. And from what Magenta and Columbia eagerly did view on their television monitor thither did seem dram doubt yond Janet wast, marry, . Its slave.

Magenta and Columbia: betoken us about 't, Janet.

(SONG) TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH ME

Janet: I wast humour done in,

couldn't winneth

I'd only ever did kiss 'ere.

Columbia: Thou cullionly the lady's.

Magenta: Uh Ha .

Janet: I did do bethink

thither's nay did lie-to getting

Into heavy petting

'T only leads to ado

And seat wetting.

Anon all I wanteth to wot

is how to wend.

I've did taste blood

and I wanteth moo.

Magenta and Columbia: Moo, moo, moo

Janet: I'll did put up nay resistance

I wanteth to stayeth the distance

I've did get an itch to scratch

I needeth assistance.

Toucha toucha toucha touch me

I wanteth to beest filthy

Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me

Creature of the night.

Then if 't be true aught grows,

while thou pose,

I'll oil thou up

and rubbeth thou down.

Magenta and Columbia: Down, down, down.

Janet: And yond's just one

bawbling fraction

of the main attraction.

Thou needeth a gentle handeth

and I needeth action.

Toucha toucha toucha touch me

I wanteth to beest filthy

Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me

Creature of the night.

Columbia: Toucha toucha toucha touch me

Magenta: I wanteth to beest filthy.

Columbia: Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me,

Magenta: Creature of the night.

Janet: Oh, toucha toucha toucha touch me,

I wanteth to beest filthy

Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me,

Creature of the night.

Rocky: Creature of the night

Brad: Creature of the night?

Frank: Creature of the night.

Magenta: Creature of the night.

Riff Raff: Creature of the night.

Columbia: Creature of the night.

Rocky: Creature of the night!

Janet: Creature of the night.

~~~

Riff Raff: Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Merrrrrcy!

Frank: How did do 't befall? I did understand thou wast to beest watching!

Riff Raff: I wast only aroint for a minute. Master.

Frank: Well, see if 't be true thou can findeth him on the monitor.

Riff Raff: Master, master. We hast a visitor.

Brad: Ho, Scotty!. Leech Everett Scott.

Riff Raff: Thou wot this earthling. Person?

Brad: I most forsooth doth! He happeneth to beest an corky cater-cousin of mine.

Frank: I see. So this wasn't simply a chance meeting. Thou did do cometh hither with a purpose.

Brad: I did tell thou, mine carriage did do break down. I wast telling the sooth.

Frank: I wot what thou did tell me. But this Leech Everett Scott, his name is not unknown to me.

Brad: He wast a science teacher at Denton High School.

Frank: And anon he worketh for thy government, doesn't he,

Brad? He's attached to the bureau of investigation of yond which thou clepe UFO's! Isn't yond right, Brad?

Brad: He might beest.I don't wot.

Riff Raff: The intruder is entering the building, Master.

Frank: He'll belike beest. In the Zen cubiculo. Shalt we inquire of him in person?

Brad: Most wondrous Scott!

Scott: Frank N Furter, we meeteth at last.

Brad: Leech Scott!

Scott: Brad! What art thou doing hither?

Frank: Don't playeth games Leech Scott. Thou wot perfectly well what Brad Majors is doing hither. 't wast part of thy plan, wast 't not? Yond he and his female shouldst check the layout for thou. Well, unfortunately for thou, all the plans art to beest did do change. I am adaptable, Leech Scott; I wot Brad is.

Scott: I can assure thou yond Brad's presence hither cometh as a complete hoyday to me. I did do cometh hither to findeth Eddie.

Brad: Eddie! I've seen him! Frank: Eddie! What doth thou wot of Eddie, Leech Scott?

Scott: I befall to wot a most wondrous deal about a lot of things. Thou see Eddie happeneth to beest mine nephew.

Brad: Leech Scott.

Janet: Ah!

Scott: Janet!

Janet: Leech Scott!

Brad: Janet!

Janet: Brad!

Frank: Rocky!

Scott: Janet!

Janet: Leech Scott!

Brad: Janet!

Janet: Brad!

Frank: Rocky!

Scott: Janet!

Janet: Leech Scott!

Brad: Janet!

Janet: Brad!

Frank: Rocky!

Frank: Hark.I did maketh thou. And I can breaketh thou just as easily.

Magenta: Master, dinner is did prepare!

Frank: Excellent. Under the circumstances, formal dress is to beest optional.

~~~

Narrator: Food hath at each moment did play a vital role in Life's rituals. The breaking of the bread, the last meal of the condemned sir, and anon, this meal. However informal 't might appeareth, thou can beest sure yond thither wast to beest very dram. Bon ami.

Frank: A toast. To absent cater-cousins.

All: To absent cater-cousins.

Frank: And Rocky. Joyous Birthday to thou, joyous Birthday to thou! Joyous Birthday lief Rocky…….. Shalt we?

Scott: We did do cometh hither to breaketh with Eddie.

Columbia: Eddie!

Frank: Yond's a rather tender subject. Another slice anyone?

Columbia: Fetch meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!.

Scott: I did knoweth he wast in with a lacking valor crowd, but 't wast worse than I did imagine. Aliens!

Rocky: Fie!

Brad & Janet: Leech Scott!

Frank: Wend on, Leech Scott. Or shouldst I declare Leech. Von Scott?

Brad: Just what jump art thou implying?

Scott: 't's valorous now!

Brad: But Leech Scott!

Scott: Yond's valorous now, Brad!

(Song) EDDIE

From the day he wast born

He wast ado.

He wast the thorn

In his mother's side.

The lady did tryeth in vain.

Narrator: But he nev'r did cause that lady nothing but shame.

Scott: He did leave home the day the lady did do kicketh the bucket.

From the day the lady wast gone

All he did want wast Rock 'n' Roll porn

And a mechanical horse.

Shooting up junk.

Narrator: He wast a base down vile dram punk!

Scott: Taking everyone for a ride.

All: at which hour Eddie did do sayeth

he didn't like his Teddy

thou did knoweth he wast

a nay-valorous peat.

But at which hour he threatened thy life

with a switch-blade bodkin

Frank: What a guy!

Janet: maketh thou caterwauling.

Scott: Und I did do.

Columbia: Everybody shoved him.

I very nearly did love him.

I did do sayeth, ho, hark to me;

stayeth sane inside insanity!

But he locked the door

and did throw aroint the key.

Scott: But he wilt hast been drawn

Into something,

Making him warn

Me in a note yond reads.

All: What's 't declare? What's 't declare?

Eddie's voice: I'm out of mine hed.

Oh, hie, or I may beest dead.

They mustn't carryeth out their evil deeds.

All: At which hour Eddie did do sayeth

he didn't like his Teddy

thou did knoweth he wast

a nay-valorous peat.

But at which hour he threatened thy life

with a switch-blade bodkin

Frank: What a guy!

Janet: maketh thou caterwauling.

Scott: Und I did do.

All: at which hour Eddie did do sayeth

he didn't like his Teddy

thou did knoweth he wast

a nay-valorous peat.

But at which hour he threatened thy life

with a switch-blade bodkin

Frank: What a guy!

Janet: Maketh thou caterwauling.

Scott: Und I did do.

Frank: Rocky! How couldst thou?

(SONG) WISE UP

FRANK: I'll betoken thou once;

I did win't betoken thou twice.

Thou'd better wise up, Janet Weiss.

Thy apple pie don't gust too nice.

Thou'd better wise up, Janet Weiss.

I've did did lie the seed;

'T shouldst beest all thou needeth.

Thou're as sensual as a pencil,

did wind up like an E or first string.

At which hour we did maketh 't, didja heareth a bell ring?

Ya gotta block?

Well, taketh mine counsel.

Thou better wise up, Janet Weiss.

The transducer wilt seduce ya.

Janet: Mine feet! I can't moveth mine feet!

Scott: Mine wheels! Mine God, I can't moveth mine wheels!

Brad: 't's as if 't be true we're glued to the spot!

Frank: thou art! So quake with fear, thou tiny daws!

Janet: We're did trap!

Frank: 't's something thou'll receiveth did use to.

A mental mind alas can beest nice.

Scott: Thou did win't findeth Earth people quite the easy mark thou imagine. This sonic transducer.'t is, I suppose, some kind of audio-vibrato- physio-molecular transport device?

Brad: Thou cullionly.

Scott: Ay, Brad, 't's something we ourselves hast been working on for quite some time. But 't seemeth our cater-cousin hither hath did find a means of perfecting 't. A device which is capable of breaking down solid matter and then projecting 't through space and, who is't knoweth, haply yea time. Itself!

Janet: Thou cullionly he's going to sendeth us to another planet?

Frank: Planet, shmanet, Janet!

Thou better wise up, Janet Weiss.

Thou better wise up, buildeth thy thighs up,

thou better wise up

Narrator: And then the lady did cry out.

Janet: Ceeeeeeeease!

Frank: Don't receiveth hot and flustered!

Did lie-to a did bite of mustard.

Brad: Thou're a hot dog,

but thou better not tryeth to did hurt

that lady, Frank Furter.

Scott: Thou're a hot dog,

but thou'd better not tryeth to did hurt

that lady, Frank Furter.

Janet: Thou're a hot dog …..

Columbia: Mine God! I can't standeth any moo of this! First thou spurn me for Eddie, and then thou throweth him off like an corky overcoat for Rocky! Thou cheweth people up and then thou spit those folk out again.I did love thou. Doth thou heareth me? I did love thou! And what did do 't receiveth me? Yeah, I'll betoken thou: a big nothing. Thou're like a sponge. Thou taketh, taketh, taketh, and drain others of their love and emotion. Yeah, well, I've did has't enow. Thou're gonna chooseth between me and Rocky, so named because of the rocks in his mazzard.

Frank: 'T's not easy having a valorous time. Yea smiling maketh mine visage ache. And mine children turn on me. Rocky's behaving just the way yond Eddie did do. Doth thou bethink I did maketh a misprision, splitting his brain between the two of those folk?

Magenta: Ahhhh! I groweth veary of this ordinary! At which hour shalt we returneth to Transylvania, i understandeth thee not?

Frank: Magenta, I am marry grateful to both thou and thy brother Riff Raff. Thou hast both served me well. Loyalty such as yours shalt not wend unrewarded. Thou wilt discover yond at which hour the humour doth take me, I can beest quite generous.

Magenta: I asketh for nothing. Nothing.

Frank: And thou shalt taketh 't. In abundance! Cometh, we art eft for the floor bewray!

~~~

Narrator: And so, by some extraordinary co-incidence, fate, 't did seem, did has't did do decide yond Brad and Janet shouldst keepeth yond appointment with their cater-cousin, Leech Everett Scott. But 't wast to beest in a situation which none of those folk would hast possibly foreseen. And, just a few hours after announcing their engagement, Brad and Janet did has't both did taste forbidden fruit. This in itself wast proof yond their host wast a sir of dram morals. And some persuasion. What further indignities wast they to beest subjected to? And what of the floor bewray yond is spoken of? In an exsufflicate house? In the middle of the night? What diabolical plan did has't been did shape by Frank's crazed imagination? What marry? From what did has't gone 'ere, 't wast clear yond this wast to beest nay picnic.

(SONG) DID RISE TINT MINE ORDINARY

Columbia: 't wast most wondrous at which hour 't

all did do beginneth.

I wast a regular Frankie fan.

But 't wast ov'r at which hour he did has't the plan

To start a-working on a muscle sir.

Anon the only thing yond gives me desire

Is mine love of a certain dope.

Did rise tints mine ordinary,

keeps me safe from mine ado and teen.

Rocky: I'm just seven hours corky,

And truly quite quaint to behold.

And somebody shouldst beest did tell

mine libido hasn't been did control.

Anon the only thing I've cometh to trust

Is an orgasmic drive of lust.

Did rise tints mine ordinary

and keeps me safe from mine ado and teen.

Brad: 't's beyond me;

holp me Mommy!

I'll beest valorous; thou'll see.

Taketh this dream aroint.

What's this? Did shalt we see,

I feeleth sexy!

What's cometh ov'r me?

Wo! Hither 't cometh again.

Janet: I feeleth released;

lacking valor times decease.

Mine confidence hath did increase;

reality is hither.

The game hath been disbanded.

Mine mind hath been did expand.

'T's a gas yond Frankie's did land!

His lust is so sincere.

(SONG) FANFARE/DON'T DREAM 'T

Frank: There's few or none will entertain

it betid to Fay Wray?

Yond delicate, satin-draped frame?

As 't did cling to that lady thigh

How I did start to caterwauling

'cause I did want to beest did dress

just the same.

Giveth yourself ov'r to absolute pleasure.

Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh.

Erotic conceit, beyond any measure

And sensual daydreams to treasure still.

Can't thou just see 't? Oh, oh, oh. Oh!

Don't dream 't, beest 't.

All: Don't dream 't, beest 't.

Scott: Ach! We've did get to receiveth out of this trap

'ere this decadence saps our wills.

I've did get to beest stout, and tryeth to hang on,

or else mine mind may well snap,

and mine life wilt beest did live. For the thrills!

Brad: 't's beyond me; holp me Mommy!

Janet: God bless Lili St. Cyr..

(SONG) WILD AND UNTAMED THING

Frank: Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,

mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.

Mine! I'm a wild and an untamed thing.

I'm a bee with a deadly sting.

Thou receiveth a did hit and thy mind goeth ping.

Thy heart'll thump and thy blood wilt sing.

So did let the party and the sounds rock on.

We're gonna shake 't 'till the life hath gone.

Did rise tint mine ordinary,

keepeth me safe from mine ado and teen.

All: We're a wild and an untamed thing.

We're bees with a deadly sting.

Thou receiveth a did hit and thy mind goeth ping.

Thy heart'll thump and thy blood wilt sing.

So did let the party and the sounds rock on.

We're gonna shake 't 'till the life hath gone.

Did rise tint mine ordinary,

keepeth me safe from mine ado and teen.

We're a wild and an untamed thing.

We're bees with a deadly sting.

Thou receiveth a did hit and thy mind goeth ping.

Thy heart'll thump and thy blood wilt sing.

So did let the party and the sounds rock on.

We're gonna shake 't 'till the life hath gone, gone, gone.

Did rise tint mine ordinary,

keepeth me safe from mine ado and teen.

Riff Raff: Frank N Furter, 't's all ov'r.

Thy mission is a failure;

thy lifestyle's too extreme.

I'm thy new commander;

thou anon art mine prisoner.

We returneth to Transylvania.

Prepare the transit beam.

Frank: Wait! I can dilate!

(SONG) I'M GOING HOME

Frank: On the day I did wend aroint

All: Goodbye.

Frank: Wast all I did has't to declare.

All: Anon I.

Frank: I wanteth to cometh again, and stayeth.

All: Oh, mine, mine.

Frank: Smileth, and yond wilt cullionly I may.

'Cause I've seen, oh, blue skies,

Through the gouts of sorrow in mine eyes

And I realize, I'm going home.

All: I'm going home.

Frank: Everywhere 't's been the same.

All: Humour.

Frank: Like I'm outside in the rain.

All: Wheeling.

Frank: Free to tryeth and findeth a game.

All: Dealing.

Frank: Cards for sorrow, cards for teen.

'Cause I've seen, oh, blue skies

Through the gouts of sorrow in mine eyes

And I realize, I'm going home.

Frank & All: I'm going home.

Magenta: How sentimental.

Riff Raff: And eke presumptuous of thou. Thou see, at which hour I did do sayeth WE wast to returneth to Transylvania, I did refer only to Magenta and myself. I'm my most humble apology, however, if 't be true thou did find mine words misleading, but thou see, thou art to remain hither, in spirit, did conclude, be 't.

Scott: Most wondrous heavens! Yond's a laser!

Riff Raff: Ay, Leech. Scott. A laser capable of emitting a beam of pure anti- matter.

Brad: Thou cullionly. Thou're going to killeth him? What's his crime?

Scott: Thou did see what did do becometh of Eddie. Society wilt beest did protect.

Riff Raff: Jump, Leech. Scott. And anon, Frank N Furter, thy time hath cometh. Declare goodbye to all of this, and valorous morrow to thee, sir. To oblivion!

Brad: Valorous God!

Janet: Oh! Thou did kill those folk!

Magenta: But I did do bethink thou did like those folk. They did like thou.

Riff Raff: They didn't like me! He nev'r did like ME!

Scott: thou did do right.

Riff Raff: A decision did has't to beest did maketh.

Scott: thou're O.K. By me.

Riff Raff: Leech Scott, I'm my most humble apology about thy nephew.

Scott: Eddie? Ay, well, haply 't wast all for the most wondrous, heh, heh, heh.

Riff: Thou shouldst leaveth anon, Leech Scott, while 't is still possible. We art about to beam the entire house to the planet Transsexual, in the galaxy of Transylvania…. Wend…. Anon! Our gentle mission is did complete, mine most quite quaint sister, and lief we shalt returneth to the moon-drenched stronds of our beloved planet.

Magenta: Ah, sweet Transsexual, land of night. To sing and dance once moo to thy dark refrain. To taketh yond - grise, to the right. Both: HAH!

Riff Raff: But 't's the pelvic did thrust.

Transylvanians: Yond drives thou insane!

Magenta: And our ordinary. Wilt doth the Time Warp. Again!

(SONG) SUPER HEROES

Brad: I've done a lot;

God knoweth I've did tryeth

To findeth the sooth.

I've yea did lie.

But all I wot is down inside I'm ..

All: Bleeding.

Janet: And super heroes

cometh to the feast

To gust the flesh

not yet deceased.

And all I wot

is still the beast is…

All: Feeding. Ahh, ahh.

Narrator: And crawling

on the planet's visage

Some insects,

did do call the human race.

Did lose in time,

and did lose in space,

And meaning.

All: Meaning.

(SONG) SCIENCE FICTION/DOUBLE FAVOUR - REPRISE

Usherette: Science Fiction Double favour.

Frank hath did do build and did lose his creature.

Darkness hath did conquer Brad and Janet.

The meiny gone to A distant planet.

Wo, oh, oh, oh.

At the late night, double favour,

Picture bewray.

I wanteth to wend, oh, oh, oh.

To the late night, double favour,

Pic….ture …………bewray.

Written by Richard O’Brien and

Translated into Shakespearean English by Lushscreamqueen

0 notes

libratvulizardheadcanonstrove · 2 years

Text

FE 16 Playthrough: Part 4: Post Prologue Fight

OMG THE INGAME DATE HAS BEEN 4/20

You know, with how happy Alois is to see Jeralt, I’m a little bummed that Jeralt just decided to bail on Alois when fleeing the church. Like, having a loyal teen/twenty-something that can fight and adored could’ve been an asset, you ass-set-on-being-a-dick.

Also, for being found by the monastary that experimented on and killed your lady love, and wants to do the same to your kid, that’s a very weird reaction J. Mainly in the line read, I think? Also intriguing to note how Jeralt says “even I wouldn’t run from the Knights of Seiros”. Mainly considering how much heavy lifting the students have to do in the game.

Now the Primary Colors Gang! Yadda, yadda, kissing the Avatar and dad’s ass, yadda-wait. “Bend my ear”?? What does that mean Khalid?? Also, y’all were doing training exercises this far from the school? And what do you mean you got the worst of it Khalid?? Did they recognize you??? DO I NEED TO DOUBLE KILL SOME BANDITS?! Also, Edelgard and Dimitri apparently had no sense of strategy during this pfft. I expect this from Dimitri, but really Edelgard? The left over line about Claude being “the embodiment of distrust” is really funny when you take into account that his goal is basically to end racism (specifically later on with the power of friendship). Ugh, back to kissing Byleth’s ass, the greatest thing since sliced bread. HOLY SHIT WITH DIMITRI THEY HAVE TO SET YOU UP WITH “I sense darkness lurking beneath” YEAH THAT WAS REAL OBVIOUS FROM HIS MOZZARELLA BANGS.

OH SHIT WE”RE IN THE NEXT PART

0 notes

1007xf · 2 years

Note

i would Absolutely tell you! i am about to study for my final exam tho so ill just copy and paste the infodump from discord. also i Am two of the characters (kinsidering another but not sure)

ok so this is a power puff girls x mother series crossover called Psionic Pro Boys and . and holy fuck its edgy. its so much edgier than both the sources anyway. But i like it so that excuses it

its the mother characters placed in a powerpuff girls environment yknow? the main 3 characters are ness, lucas and ninten (the 3 protagonists of their respective games) and theyre a part of the psionic pro boys, or PPB. theyre superpowered individuals who are there to save their town, before AND after bedtime! and. oh my godd they are DIFFERENT. definitely a lot more explosive. theyre aged up a bit (around 16) but oh my godddd holy shit. the creator of the au (im going to call her sherbet shes rlly chill actually i miss her) recently posted new designs for them (she changed up their races to make them more inclusive i think) which i think works, i still kind of prefer the old designs??? that or i just like her old artstyle better. she drew lucas with two left hands in the old design tho shdndhdnnsbdb

there's the psychicexpert girls, the PEG, which consist of paula, ana, and nana! theyre a rebel group afaik and are also superpowered! i am nana so i should know, but i dont. classic me.

see, the girls are fucking EXPLOSIVE and very, VERY destructive. mean characters too. i'm like. slightly dumb but very kind and considerate. (bro even NEIL tolerates me but ill get into that in a but) and also i can play piano. woohoo! she just like me fr.

ok so these mfs' backstories are definitely darker than the original show/games (keep in mind i did not watch powerpuff girls i would not know) since they were either abused or abandoned by their parents and were found by HIM and adopted by him. HIM is a fucking demon (possibly the devil) btw. he's definitely a villain ill get to him one day

ok so yknow how i said this series was definitely very fucjing edgy? there was supposed to be a fourth psionic pro boy. travis, to be specific. he was constructed using his brother's dna(?) and he was like. really fucking clumsy. after a fuck up with the other boys, people started making fun of him and he started getting bullied in school more until he fucking MELTED and became the original substance of the chemical x (or whatever the fuck) inside of him. i think this was corruption or something i dont remember much. but holy FUCK

i should mention that i (claus) am also a character in this!!! claus was separated from lucas idk when and found a different chemical crystal(?). he became superpowered but didnt tell anyone about it and became anxious about it so he ran away. he was found by another villain named zento, who soon adopted him and trained him. bitch has never felt emotions besides hatred and jealousy so yknow he has not had a good life!!! also my cybernetic canon is here too. in an accident claus lost his arm, and was replaced with robotic parts. he has a skin glove thingy to cover it up tho

ok do you want even more edge??? do you???? now you do! theres canonically a reverse world. different characters based on their og world counterparts. i mentioned neil; he's ness's counterpart. he's a part of the psionic punk boys, or PPNKB to shorten it. the other members are luis and nixon, and by god theyre fucking EDGYYYYYYY. neil is my favourite for reasons (the reason being that i am nana /j) and to be completely honest im not sure if i just Really Like him or Am him. so anyway holy fuck these kids were Abused and Neglected (neil and nixon were) and some even became Not So Human! luis and nixon did thats for sure. i am very Fond of them.

yknow how i mentioned that i was claude? thats luis's brother! after an incident where a cult society killed our father and found my brother, i watched them torture him until they had a buckets worth of blood and ran the fuck away to the police. they ended up reuniting me with my mom but we were both traumatized lmao. also i (claude) am probably autistic or something since i have a special interest in bugs (CANONICALLY) which i did not fucking notice until now holy shit

and then theres the psychic fancy girls! or the pfg. paulita is the leader! shes very girly and enjoys makeup, but she isnt afraid to get her hands dirty! arianna is like paulita but more cutesy :) *and then theres nara.* shes very pretty but shes a cold person with little remorse for what she does. she barely shows emotion and holy FUCK is she strong. like my gee. she is NOT TO BE MESSED WITH.

hmmmmm is there anything else i feel like talking about rn.... OH WAIT THE YOKAI CARRIERS

so theres this bitch named tony.... he was just an exchange student. and like. ||he became friends with jeff. like really close friends. and since he gay he had a bit of a crush on jeff! but since he started spending more and more time with ness and less and less time with tony he got really fucking jealous. like. REALLY jealous. so much so that he ended up developing psychic powers on his own and became a cherub. he did swear revenge on ness so thats his main target.|| i dont know where the bio for tony is but i did find one in my dms with sherbet so ! yeah.

and then we have lloyd! lloyd is definitely one of my favourites bc hes a floral beast :) so anyway he was like. bullied by ninten in school. so like he does NOT like ninten. same with varik, an exchange student, who acts just like him. his abilities are powered by his emotions, so theyre very hard to control. the yokai taking hold of him is a furutsubaki. feel free to look into it :)

theres some other yokais but like. i do not have the bios on them and do not remember them

that should fortunately be it

Wow that's a lot of text! And golly gee did I read it all and would do it again/pos

This does indeed fall into very edgy territory but honestly? I love edgy shit. Like stupidly edgy. Edgy for the sake of edgy I love it!!! And edge aside there's some genuinely cool stuff here. Travis just fucking MELTING into chem x is way to goddamn metal sorry. I'll be real I don't know jack shit about the mother series I never got into it even tho I know it's an important part of gaming history oopsie. So I really don't know how this compares to the real thing. And there's definitely a lot of info here and I feel like this makes way more sense and flows way more nicely when put into context lmao. But honestly still thanks for sharing this was a cool read!

1 note · View note

tcm · 3 years

Text

The Golden Boy, John Garfield By Susan King

Stanley Kowalski in Tennessee Williams’ A Streetcar Named Desire was Marlon Brando’s signature role. It made the then 23-year-old Brando an overnight Broadway sensation in 1947, and he electrified movie audiences and earned his first Oscar nomination for the classic 1951 film version. But he wasn’t the first choice to play Blanche’s earthy brother-in-law. Producer Irene Selznick had her eyes on Hollywood star John Garfield, who frequently took time out from movies to return to the Great White Way for limited runs.

In fact, writer John Lahr reported in 2014 that on July 19, 1947, Selznick drew up a contract for the 34-year-old actor, “one of the few sexy Hollywood stars with a proletarian pedigree. The Selznick office leaked the big news to the press. The contract was never signed. On August 18 the deal with Garfield collapsed.”

One of the reasons bandied about was that Garfield turned down the role because the contract would have kept him away from Hollywood for too long. Though Brando is considered the performer who ushered in the more naturalistic style of acting (known as “the Method”) both on stage and in film, truth be told it was Garfield who was the catalyst for Brando, as well as Montgomery Clift, Paul Newman, James Dean and Steve McQueen.

Just look at Garfield’s first feature film, FOUR DAUGHTERS (’38). Directed by Michael Curtiz, the cast includes Lane sisters Lola, Rosemary and Priscilla, in addition to Gale Page as the four musically inclined daughters of a widower music professor (Claude Rains). Enter handsome boy-next-door Jeffrey Lynn as a budding composer named Felix who endears himself with all the daughters, especially peppy Ann (Priscilla Lane).

The household is put in an uproar with the arrival of Garfield’s Mickey Borden, the original rebel anti-hero. Unkempt, slovenly and possessing a massive chip on his shoulder, Mickey is an orchestrator who has arrived at the house to work with Felix. You can’t keep your eyes off him especially in this early monologue where he explains his anger to Ann:

“They’ve been at me now nearly a quarter of a century. No let-up. First, they said, ‘Let him do without parents. He’ll get along.’ Then they decided, ‘He doesn’t need education. That’s for sissies.’ Then right at the beginning, they tossed a coin, ‘Heads he’s poor, tail’s he’s rich.’ So, they tossed a coin…with two heads. Then for the finale, they got together on talent. ‘Sure, they said, let him have talent. Not enough to let him do anything on this own, anything good or great Just enough to let him help people. It’s all he deserves.’”

There was a sexuality and eroticism to Garfield’s performance that was 180 degrees different from Lynn’s durable and safe leading man. He was so natural; it was almost like someone found Garfield walking down the street in the Bronx and asked him to star in the movie. “He was the prototypical Depression rebellion youth,” actor Norman Lloyd told me about Garfield for the L.A. Times in 2003. They first met in 1937 and worked together on Garfield’s final film HE RAN ALL THE WAY (’51).

“He combined all of these elements of darkness and rebelliousness with the charm and the poignancy and he became the prototypical actor of that time. He never changed as a person. He remained just as a wonderful guy. He was a man of great charm, a good fellow, very likable.”

There was a lot of Mickey in Garfield, who was born Jacob Julius Garfinkle in 1913 on the Lower East Side of New York to poor Russian immigrants. Julie, as he was called, had a rough and tumble upbringing. His mother died when he was seven. “He hated his father,” his daughter Julie Garfield noted in 2003. “His father was awful to him. He was torn away from his brother.” In fact, Garfield once said that if he hadn’t become an actor, he would have been “Public Enemy No. 1.”

Unlike Mickey, the fates and destiny were looking after him. First, it was educator Angelo Patri, who became a surrogate dad to Julie at P.S. 45, a high school for troubled students. With Patri’s encouragement, he joined the debate team where he discovered he had a gift for acting. That was further nurtured when he received a scholarship to Maria Ouspenskaya’s acting school. He was all of 18 when he made his Broadway debut in 1932 in Lost Boy and became the youngest member of the progressive and influential Group Theatre, appearing in Clifford Odets’ early masterpieces Waiting for Lefty and Awake and Sing.

Odets wrote the play Golden Boy for Garfield in 1937, but director Harold Clurman decided to give the lead role of boxer Joe Bonaparte to Luther Adler and cast Garfield in a minor role. His unhappiness with Clurman’s decision pushed Garfield into signing a contract with Warner Bros. And FOUR DAUGHTERS made him an overnight sensation. He earned a Supporting Actor Oscar nomination, but lost to Walter Brennan who picked up his second Academy Award in that category for Kentucky (‘38).

The following year, Garfield, Rains, the Lane siblings, Page and Curtiz reunited for DAUGHTERS COURAGEOUS, in which the actors played different characters from the prior film. It was probably the best film Garfield made that year. But Warner Brothers put him in a lot of movies that were unworthy of his talent including BLACKWELL’S ISLAND (’39) where he was typecast as a gangster. He made some good movies in 1941, including THE SEA WOLF, which also starred Edward G. Robinson and Ida Lupino and reunited him with Curtiz, and also Anatole Litvak’s atmospheric noir OUT OF THE FOG also with Lupino.

Because he suffered heart damage from scarlet fever, Garfield couldn’t serve during World War II. But he entertained the troops on USO tours and opened the famous Hollywood Canteen with Bette Davis so the troops could be entertained and be served by some of Hollywood’s biggest stars. Both Davis and Garfield appeared as themselves in the hit 1944 film HOLLYWOOD CANTEEN. Garfield also fought the global conflict on screen, giving one of his strongest and grittiest performances in PRIDE OF THE MARINES (’45), a poignant drama based on the life Al Schmid who was blinded by a grenade during the Battle of Guadalcanal. He returns home to his wife (Eleanor Powell) a bitter, doubting man who has a difficult time trying to deal with his new life.

The year 1946 saw the release of two of Garfield’s most enjoyable films HUMORESQUE and THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE. HUMORESQUE was his last film under his Warner Bros. contract. It’s a delicious melodramatic wallow with Garfield playing a poor New York kid who becomes a famous concert violinist. Joan Crawford, coming off her Oscar-winning triumph in Mildred Pierce (’45), plays a wealthy patroness who sets her sights on Garfield. Garfield went to MGM for POSTMAN, which was based on James M. Cain’s best-selling thriller. Garfield turns up the heat with Lana Turner as illicit lovers who brutally murder her husband only to turn on each other when they are caught.

The actor teamed up with Bob Roberts to form an independent production company, Enterprise Productions, and their first feature was the boxing classic BODY AND SOUL (’47), for which he earned his second Oscar nomination as Charley Davis, a boxer who loses his way when he gets involved with an unscrupulous promoter. Not only does he have a strong chemistry with leading lady Lilli Palmer, but also African American actor Canada Lee as Ben, a boxer with brain damage. And Garfield gets to utter one of his greatest lines in BODY AND SOUL: “What are you going to do? Kill me? Everybody dies.”

Though his next Enterprise production wasn’t a hit, FORCE OF EVIL (’48), co-written and directed by Abraham Polonsky, is a terrific film noir with a hard-hitting Garfield as a corrupt attorney trying to save his numbers-racket brother (Thomas Gomez) from his gangster boss. Garfield returned to Warner Bros. and Curtiz in 1950 for THE BREAKING POINT, which was based on Hemingway’s 1937 novel, To Have and Have Not. It’s an outstanding film noir with a superb performance from Garfield as well as from Black actor Juano Hernandez who plays his partner on the fishing boat.

THE BREAKING POINT was Garfield’s penultimate film and was not a hit because The Blacklist was engulfing Hollywood and the actor, despite the fact he wasn’t a Communist. His film career was over in 1951 when he refused to cooperate with HUAC at his hearing. Before his death of a heart attack in 1952 at the age of 39, Garfield did appear in a short-lived Broadway revival of Golden Boy, which also starred Lee J. Cobb, a young Jack Klugman and Joseph Wiseman.

Though she was only 6 ½ when he died, Julie Garfield recalls seeing her father on stage in Golden Boy where he introduced her during the curtain call. “When he smiled at you it was like being in the sun,” she noted. “He was funny and sometimes he would like to dance and kick up his legs. I remember him adoring me. He used to take me to the merry-go-round a lot in New York. He was so strong, so handsome and he loved to kid me. He would give me this mischievous smile. I wish I remembered more about him…”

#John Garfield #Method Acting #Marlon Brando #Golden Boy #theatre acting #The Sea Wolf #Body and Soul #Four Daughters #Susan King #TCM #Turner Classic Movies #Huac #blacklist

82 notes · View notes

generalasshattery · 3 years

Text

MK Movie Thoughts and Reflections

It’s been a few days since I watched it, and it’s all had time to settle in my brain. Who wants a tangent?

So, I guess I should start with the like biggest issue. Cole. Like I get he was only put in the movie because the studio insisted, and I feel like a little bit of the resentment for having to do that is obvious by just how bland a character he is. If they had to have him, they could’ve at least made him a little more fun to watch. Like, you had the opportunity to make a new Mortal Kombat character, some of the most deliciously and wonderfully over the top and charismatic fighting game characters out there... like why didn’t they make any effort to justify his existence on screen? Want to give us an everyman that can be used to introduce the world to the public? Do it, make him an audience proxy. Use some wit and charm to make people feel like he represents how they’d act in that scenario. I’ve seen this done to absolutely beautiful effect, my favorite example is actually a short horror film on YouTube called Downstairs. Lean into the batshit insanity you’re introducing in the form of mortal kombat. This role is historically handled by Johnny Cage, but he’s a celebrity rich boy, how would Joe down the block honestly handle this shit? Would he be stressed the fuck out and anxious? Or riding high getting to live out an ultimate power fantasy? That’s what would’ve been fun to explore with a new character IMO.

With that out of the way, I’m not going to belabor all the things I didn’t enjoy. Because well, it’s obvious. Jobbers irritate me, like what the fuck was that they did with Reiko? Did not like. Killing a clearly post burns Kabal in a fire? Like that just upset me. And all the weird lore building choices were just that... fucking weird. They do not need to be super heroes. They do not need to awaken super powers. Tech based abilities make it more interesting against the more supernaturally influenced characters. Genre bending has always been a feature and not a bug in MK. The game was supposed to be a Jean Claude Van Damme game, it was supposed to be all these different genres of movies coming together to fight the Van Damme, in a manor of speaking. Taking away the absolutely fun part of the story where special ops, a celebrity, and monks team up with a god to fight ninjas, a sorcerer, criminal empires, and monsters, is like missing the forest for the trees with the franchise. And I just can’t even go into Shang Tsung. I just can’t. I like Chin Han, he plays assholes very well, but Shang Tsung is a special kind of asshole. Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa just set the bar so high with how much intellectualism he brings to the lines. He can drop them in such a smart sounding way that it makes you feel like he’s three steps ahead of you. There’s something so obviously manipulative and toying in his vibe (god the best part of MK11 is him, I’ll fight people on this, he fucking stole that shit for me) that it makes him feel instantly threatening. Immediately you know this is a man you Should Not Fuck with. I need that from Shang Tsung, or I don’t even really feel like you should bother bringing him to screen.

But despite all that, I did actually enjoy the experience of watching the movie, admittedly because I expected not to like any of it, so there were quite a few pleasant surprises. The gore and fight scenes were so perfectly stylized with the excessive blood and choreography, showing off the characters fatalities and famous moves... yes feed me that fan service. Feed it to me.

And while I don’t love all the casting (Reiko and Shang Tsung for example), some of it was pure perfection. Kano, Jax and Sonya? Story was... A Choice but loved the actors and what they brought to the characters. Also, like Lui Kang being cast with just the prettiest actor made me very happy. Pretty boy Lui Kang can hang, especially with his belt/slash floating in the wind. I was here for that.

Holy god damn hell, Joe Taslim, what the fuck dude? You made all my Bi-Han fantasies and dreams a reality. Like god damn, I could feel the depth he was bringing to the role even if the script didn’t let him explore it. I seriously hope we get so much more from him because got damn. I was so pleased with his performance. Holy shit not to mention the ice effects, his Katara moment of stopping the rain and then wrecking the shit out of a street is the kind of raw destructive power that canon has always hinted he has but hasn’t really shown us. He’s so often relegated to being a jobber, and MK is so especially bad at telling you a character is powerful but not showing it. Oh boy the movie showed it. Not just him either, I felt a real sense of power from a few players, and that was deeply satisfying.

Also like Kabal? For as much as his death pissed me off, damn did they nail his vibe. I think we’d all rather have good guy Kabal (which would’ve been a more interesting story with Kano on both sides the fence [and I DO NOT have the energy to write the dissertation I have for that weird ass choice]) but I really thought they got the bad guy him just right. Side note: My sister watched it with me and just adored him, she loved his fight scenes and kept asking me who he was and telling me how damn cool he seemed. And I do agree. His fighting scene was so damn good. The way they handle his choreography and effects made him look every bit the intimidating opponent he is, even if he didn’t actually win. Very good work there.

Hanzo has some promise here, but man did they cock tease us with those trailers. Didn’t even toss a handy j for our troubles. I will say, assuming they do make another film (and that is a big assumption) I am cautiously optimistic about where it could be heading. The actor really didn’t get enough time to explore the part, but Scorpion has the potential to be fascinating and I feel like him and Sub Zero getting their own film properly could really give me some satisfying story telling in Mortal Kombat’s biggest rivalry.

Over all? Not super satisfying for the dedicated fans. Wouldn’t really recommend it if you don’t Stan Bi-Han specifically. But if you set your expectations as low as possible, you may find some fun in it the way I did.

32 notes · View notes

introvertguide · 3 years

Text

Chinatown (1974); AFI #21

The next movie that we reviewed was a very dark example of neo-noir film directed by Roman Polanski, Chinatown (1974). This film was a throwback to very dark crime thrillers that reflected the outlook of a Great Depression followed by world war. Polanski was experiencing a very dark period since he had just moved to America to get married and immediately lost his wife and unborn son in a horrific murder. The film was well received by critics and audiences, but it could not stand against the award winning juggernaut which was The Godfather Part 2. Polanski’s film was nominated for 11 Academy awards but only took one home for best original screenplay, a category that didn’t include The Godfather Part 2. It is hard to describe how incredibly down beat this film is without spoiling too early, so let me give the breakdown with the standard warning:

SPOILER ALERT!!! THIS IS A MURDER MYSTERY SO THE PLOT IS ABOUT TO BE WELL SPOILED!!! IF YOU WANT TO SEE THE FILM FIRST, NOW IS THE TIME TO STEP AWAY!!! COME BACK AFTER YOU SEE THE FILM!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

In 1937, a woman identifying herself as Evelyn Mulwray hires private investigator J. J. "Jake" Gittes (Jack Nicholson) to follow her husband, Hollis Mulwray, the chief engineer at the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power. Gittes tails him, hears him publicly refuse to create a new reservoir that would be unsafe, and shoots photographs of him with a young woman, which are published on the front page of the following day's paper. Back at his office, Gittes is confronted by a woman who informs him she is the real Evelyn Mulwray (Faye Dunaway) and that he can expect a lawsuit.

Realizing he was set up, Gittes assumes that Hollis Mulwray is the real target. Before he can question him, Lieutenant Lou Escobar fishes Mr. Mulwray, drowned, from a reservoir. Under retainer to Mrs. Mulwray, Gittes investigates with suspicions of murder and notices that although there is a drought, huge quantities of water are being released from the reservoir every night. Gittes is warned off by Water Department Security Chief Claude Mulvihill and a henchman (Roman Polanski) who slashes one of Gittes' nostrils. Back at his office, Gittes receives a call from Ida Sessions, who identifies herself as the imposter Mrs. Mulwray. She is afraid to identify her employer but tells Gittes to check the day's obituaries.

Gittes learns that Mulwray was once the business partner of Evelyn's wealthy father, Noah Cross (John Huston). Over lunch at his personal club, Cross warns Gittes that he does not understand the forces at work, and offers to double Gittes' fee to search for Mulwray's missing mistress. At the hall of records, Gittes discovers that much of the Northwest Valley has recently changed ownership. Investigating the valley, he is attacked by angry landowners who believe he is an agent of the water department attempting to force them out by sabotaging their water supply.

Gittes deduces that the water department is drying up the land so it can be bought at a reduced price and that Mulwray was murdered when he discovered the plan. He discovers that a recently deceased retirement home resident is one of the valley's new landowners and seemingly purchased the property a week after his death. Gittes and Evelyn bluff their way into the home and confirm that the real-estate deals were surreptitiously completed in the names of several of the home's residents. Their visit is interrupted by the suspicious retirement-home director, who has called Mulvihill.

After fleeing Mulvihill and his thugs, Gittes and Evelyn hide at Evelyn's house and sleep together. During the night, Evelyn gets a phone call and must leave suddenly; she warns Gittes that her father is dangerous. Gittes follows Evelyn's car to a house, where he spies her through the windows comforting Mulwray's mistress, Katherine. He accuses Evelyn of holding the woman against her will, but she says Katherine is her sister.

The next day, an anonymous call draws Gittes to Ida Sessions' apartment, where he finds her murdered and Escobar waiting for Gittes' arrival. Escobar tells him the coroner's report found salt water in Mulwray's lungs, indicating that he did not drown in the fresh water of the reservoir. Escobar suspects Evelyn of the murder and tells Gittes to produce her quickly. At Evelyn's mansion, Gittes finds her servants packing her things. He realizes her garden pond is salt water and discovers a pair of bifocals in it. He confronts Evelyn about Katherine, whom Evelyn now claims is her daughter. After Gittes slaps her (a lot), she tells him that Katherine is her sister and her daughter; her father raped her when she was 15. She says that the glasses are not Mulwray's, as he did not wear bifocals.

Gittes arranges for the women to flee to Mexico and instructs Evelyn to meet him at her butler's home in Chinatown. He summons Cross to the Mulwray home to settle their deal. Cross admits his intention to annex the Northwest Valley into the City of Los Angeles, then irrigate and develop it. Gittes accuses Cross of murdering Mulwray. Cross has Mulvihill take the bifocals at gunpoint, and they force Gittes to drive them to the women. When they reach the Chinatown address, the police are already there and detain Gittes. When Cross approaches Katherine, Evelyn shoots him in the arm and starts to drive away with Katherine. The police open fire, killing Evelyn. Cross clutches Katherine and leads her away, while Escobar orders Gittes released. Lawrence Walsh, one of Gittes' associates, tells him: "Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I really cannot emphasize how much of a bummer ending this film has. It is right up there (down there) with Sophie’s Choice. A man who pays to dump water so that he can purchase cheap farm land, kills his partner who threatens to tell, and rapes his own 15-year-old daughter is the antagonist. In the end, he is released to take custody of his young granddaughter without punishment after the police shoot the daughter that he raped. The investigator who tried to help and solved the mystery is left with no say and a slit nostril for his troubles. Polanski later said in interviews that he wanted to emphasize the futility of trying to find justice in Los Angeles. Both his life and this movie really proved that as a fact. It is funny that the screenwriter who won the academy award wanted Cross to die and Evelyn to live, but Polanski insisted and the dark tone is what pushed the award in their favor.

There was some discussion about finding an actor that was willing to be the lead with a bandaged face or prosthetic injury for most of the movie. It was still all about face time and dialogue, so most lead actors didn’t want to cover up their face. Nicholson was not actually known for his good looks as much as other actors, so he was more willing to take on the role. Actually, it was Nicholson who wanted to work on a project with Polanski and suggested the script in the first place. Also, Nicholson really connected with Polanski at the time and was not afraid to play dark roles. Jon Huston was not as keen on the heavy pedophile incest role since he had a lovely young daughter of his own (actress Angelica Huston). It turned out to be a good choice for all the actors involved.

Something that came up during the viewing with my housemates was reactions to the scene when Jack Nicholson is slapping Faye Dunaway when she is admitting that the girl she visits is both her sister and her daughter. She keeps alternating between “she’s my sister” and “she’s my daughter” and each statement is punctuated with a slap in the face by Jack Nicholson. It is supposed to be deeply serious and a major reveal in the movie, but we were laughing so hard at the absurdity. It was truly unrealistic and more of a trope of film noir than anything else (slapping a hysterical woman). It truly was a throwback to 40s and 50s style Hollywood and some of the standards of film story telling at that time were a bit silly.

I have reviewed this move in more ways than I thought because I realized on this viewing that the video game L.A. Noir borrows very heavily from this film. So many aspects, from the locations to the situations to the soundtrack, were all put into the video game. I have spent many hours of my life playing through that game a number of times and I am shocked each time. I am curious if Rockstar Games had to pay any money to Roman Polanski for such a close similarity to the film? I tried to look it up but didn’t find anything, so probably not.

So should this film by on the AFI to 100? For sure. It is an Old Hollywood story about even older Hollywood. It stands out as one of the darkest endings that I have ever experienced. It has major star power and surrounded by amazing stories of Hollywood. Would I recommend it? I sure would. It is a great trip around old Hollywood with some of America’s greatest actors. I think just as interesting is the story of Roman Polanski (who I did an article on as well) and why his head space was so dark during the production of this film. Definitely worth a watch and a background deep dive.

#introvert #introverts #chinatown #jack nicholson #faye dunaway #roman polanski #movie review #top 100 #70s #Film Criticism

15 notes · View notes

rabble-dabble · 3 years

Note

Homestuck! So once the cast arrives on Alterna we meet a troll named John, he has short horns and they decide to give him a fresh shirt with the cancer symbol on it. He informs them he’s on the run from the Alternian space police for being too dang cool. He then takes them all to the space outlaw land but then BOOM BOOM the place gets blown up! Someone named Claude (Taurus guy) works for he space police, his brother was killed by the space dictators so now he’s determined to keep the rest of his family safe. So yeah turns out Claude blew them up because he didn’t know what the button did. His much smarter companion Gregour (Face Skull tattoo troll) then berates him because “oH MY GOD IT SAID ‘DO NOT PRESS’” So now the outlaws are running away and there’s an epic fight where our mcs have to learn and adapt to this new environment abruptly and by the end Teresa is on the ground face down just listening to Sad by XXXtentacion

-Wtf is Homestuck anon

YOU'VE DERAILED BUT I LOVE IT ???

- "we meet a troll named John" you have mixed up karkat and john which i find very funny, did you accidentally stumble on some reverse human/troll au before submitting this-

- "he has short horns and they decide to give him a fresh shirt with the cancer symbol on it. He informs them he’s on the run from the Alternian space police for being too dang cool." you are right he is on the run from the alternian space police for being too dang cool nothing is wrong about this statement

- "He then takes them all to the space outlaw land but then BOOM BOOM the place gets blown up!" THERE IS A LOT OF BLOWING UP SPECIFICALLY WHICH PLACE ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

- "Someone named Claude (Taurus guy)" wrong his name is tavros "works for he space police" double wrong "his brother was killed by the space dictators" nnnnot his brother but like ?? ancestor?? kinda close, pretty sure he died bcs nearly all of them did lol "so now he’s determined to keep the rest of his family safe." the other trolls i guess?? you're consistent w/ tavros' character to keep his friends safe and stuff

- "So yeah turns out Claude blew them up because he didn’t know what the button did." LMAO

- "His much smarter companion Gregour (Face Skull tattoo troll)" GAMZEE? KURLOZ??? ARE YOU TURNING THIS INTO THE PB AND J SHIP???? JASKLFHJDFSA

- "So now the outlaws are running away and there’s an epic fight where our mcs have to learn and adapt to this new environment abruptly" welp that's what the trolls were doing the entire time anyway sdhafjkhsadkljfhlaskdfh 's why they left

- "and by the end Teresa is on the ground face down just listening to Sad by XXXtentacion"

#answered #anon #wtf is homestuck anon #homestuck #HWERE DID YOU GET THIS INFORMATION ASOFDJKLFH KSADFHKLSHAFKH #tell me about the epilogues next ahskjhKLJHLKJHDKJLHKLH

6 notes · View notes

a-tcos · 3 years

Note

I have another ask. . . Let's say... we get Black Butler into Cabin In The Woods corner~(which btw is my all time favorite horror movie besides the OG first films of Nightmare, Friday the 13th, Halloween, and Wrong Turn) what stereotype would they be? Either from the film or any others that weren't added sadly

YESSSS (I love cabin in the woods!!). I’ll try to add all of the stereotypes from the movie but I’ll also subvert and add others here and there as the black butler characters :

I mentioned in my previous black butler horror AU post that o!Ciel Phantomhive and Hannah Annafellows would be survivors akin to the Final Girl. Hannah is sensible but “pure”, the same goes for Ciel (except the purity thing is weird because I usually write him as a child, you know?). I also see Lizzie Midford falling into this category. Hannah and Lizzie are closer to the OG idea of a Final Girl, but oCiel takes it one step further by being ruthless and cunning, doing whatever it takes to survive and outsmart the horror.

Grell Sutcliff is likely to survive, but she’s definitely the Genre-Savvy Horror Nerd (ie. Randy Meeks from Scream). I see her being into horror and true crime so hardcore that she’ll use what she’s learned to help her survive. I did mention that those skills, in turn, could be used so that she could be a killer, but I don’t see her killing off any of the cast. Even when she directly expresses that she’s thought of murder, I just don’t see her actually acting on it. If he’s included, Othello definitely fits the “Genre-Savvy” type while also being a bit of a geek.

Claude Faustus and Agni are the Smart Guys, but in different ways. Agni is completely kind and compassionate while being knowledgeable and practical. This is his current outward and inner appearance. I do think Claude has the capacity to be truly nice to few, but put an emphasis on few. He has the same skills as Agni, but he is not as sociable or charitable as Agni. He is paranoid and suspicious. In fact, I can see him as someone who is a Big Bad, someone who could kill off the other characters and feel no remorse. Claude is obviously terrible in canon, but he has the somewhat-unique character of stoicism and mysteriousness that lends itself well to portraying him in different ways. I’m also grouping these two together because I can see them getting along (not as well as Agni gets along with Seb, but I see Agni as someone who’s now willing to be friendly with anyone).

The closest characters to the Dumb Jock stereotype are Ronald Knox and Prince Soma. They’re not exactly jocks, but they’re active with strong personalitities and make rash decisions. However, Ronald isn’t dumb and I can never get mad at Soma for not knowing any better.

I don’t really think any characters from Kuro really fit the Stoner stereotype. I definitely have headcanons that a lot of them have at least tried weed or regularly smoke for various reasons, but not anyone who fits that exact stereotype. I’ll quickly say that I see Claude and Undertaker smoking the most out of all of the cast. Undertaker is just a fun guy so of course he would and Claude deserves to feel mellow (perhaps that’s why he’s calm? /j).

I think William T. Spears is a really interesting character in put in a horrror setting because he has a lot of elements from different archetypes (at least in my characterization and headcanons of him based off of what I took from canon). He looks like a Workaholic Dad but has no spouse or children. He seems smart but he hasn’t had the time to exactly show off his skills. He seems like an easy kill, frankly, but I love writing him because I think he deserves more development.

I have to say it: Undertaker screams slasher to me (or maybe even similar to Jigsaw). I don’t always like writing him as a big bad from the get-go, though; i definitely like writing him as just being this Weird Guy. I can’t believe that I have soft spots for Claude and Undertaker. I do see those two getting along despite them literally never meeting in canon (season 2 is canon in MY heart, it’s just that the season 1+2 canon are different from the manga canon, aka the main canon). Either way, he’d fit one of three tropes: Slasher, The Old Guy That Warns the Cast To Get Out, or Goth. These could also go hand in hand, though.

Alois Trancy? I mentioned seeing him as a victim, but not being the first to die; he’s the character that really deserves to survive but you just know won’t because the writers hate him /j. In all seriousness, i would love to say that if I were to write him in this AU he’d survive, but I can’t say that. Alois Trancy will always deserve better, but I think he’s just a character that’s almost always doomed to die, even in most AUs. Not sure if that’s any particular trope or stereotype, but I just think he’s so important and lovable that he has to die (you know, to tug at the heart strings).

I mentioned most of my thoughts on Bard, Finny, and Mey-Rin on my other horror AU post, but I’ll add that Mey-Rin is technically final girl material. It’s just that I see all of them surviving or none of them surviving whatsoever. They’re all the Comedic Relief that happen to have survival skills and would 100% survive had it not been for Ciel and Sebastian getting involved.

Did I purposefully put off Sebastian until the very end because I’m a jerk? Yes. Is it because I solely think he’s the perfect slasher victim? Yes. Or maybe I just think he is in this AU. I mean he’s attractive and skilled with very few drawbacks. I do headcanon him as having anger issues and impulsive behavior (as well as being not the smartest man by a long shot), but I digress. He’s very skilled, almost as skilled as his canon counterpart. However, this isn’t exactly a horror trope/stereotype. Sexy characters/characters that partake in vices dying first? Oh, now that’s a trope. I hc human Sebastian as being a sex worker, and unfortunately that isn’t good for him in horror. If I’m writing then he’s not the first corpse to show up, but if he’s grouped with anyone mentioned here EXCEPT for Finny, Mey-Rin, and Bard... he’s definitely one of the first - if not the first - to die. When I mean “the first corpse to show up”, I’m talking about minor characters that would kick off the main plot in a similar way to Drew Barrymore’s character in Scream.

That was a lot BUT I’m in love with this AU. I gotta do more with it (writing, drawing, rp, or anything really). Thank you for this ask!! I’ll definitely answer more asks about this as well as start making my own content w/ it.

#long post #black butler horror au #kuroshitsuji headcanons #black butler headcanons #sebastian michaelis #(I tried adding as many characters j could without feeling like it was too much)#(anyways I’ll start tagging this au w/ the tag black butler horror au)#ciel phantomhive #grell sutcliff #william t. spears #ronald knox #horror #meta?#claude faustus #alois trancy #hannah annafellows #undertaker black butler #/black butler/

15 notes · View notes

iturbide · 3 years

Text

I made you another thing

===

okay no this is too good and it’s killing me so now you get manic!Claude

/////

“Have you seen Claude this morning?” Edelgard asked as she surveyed the dining hall. Ordinarily he was waiting for them when they arrived (and increasingly she’d begun to suspect that his claims of morning meditation and reflection were more honest than she’d given him credit for), but today he was not among the handful of people that had arrived early for breakfast.

Dimitri, too, looked around, his brow furrowing slightly as he abandoned his utensils and rose from his seat. “I’ve not. I didn’t think to check his room on the way down, he always seems to be the first here…do you think he might have finished already? Or taken something and gone straight to the library?”

“He does spend a great deal of time there,” she mused, tapping her fork against the side of her plate, “but this hardly seems like appropriate fare to take with us. Shall we finish here and then go find him?”

“…I suppose,” he muttered, returning to the bench and unenthusiastically resuming his meal. Edelgard, for her part, found the fresh fruit and sweet porridge quite pleasant, and might have considered going back for a second helping had Dimitri not been so nearly finished and the queue so long–

“You’re here!!”

They both looked up as a familiar figure skidded to a stop next to their table, planting his hands on the corners to steady himself as he gasped for breath. “Yes, we have been for a while,” she replied. “It’s not like you to be so tardy, there’s quite a line for breakfast now–”

“No time for that,” Claude interrupted, raking a hand through his hair. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you two, I was hoping I could grab you before you got too far but I guess I lost all track of time…”

“Is everything alright?” Dimitri ventured. “You’re looking a bit more manic than usual.”

Edelgard shot a warning look at the prince…though, truth be told, she had noticed the rather wild look in his eye herself. Claude, though, took no offense, and even underscored the observation with rather disconcerting laugh. “Y-yeah, I’m…I’m kind of all over the place right now, it’s…”

“Did you get any sleep last night?” the princess asked.

“Uh. N-no. No, not really.” That explained at least some of his current state…though not all by any means (and certainly not the frenetic energy that seemed to have possessed him, keeping him moving constantly even as he tried to stand still). “I couldn’t sleep, I just kept thinking and thinking and I finally gave up and – look, it’s a long story, and I need you to meet me in my room. Now. Or, as soon as you can, I guess. Maybe. J-just hurry, okay?”

“What’s all this about?” Dimitri tried to ask – too late, though, as the Leicester heir was already gone, leaving the door overlooking the fish pond hanging wide. “Do you have any idea what he meant?”

She shook her head, attention still fixed on the way he’d gone. “Not in the slightest.”

#submission #norbah #meme #fire emblem: three houses #fanfiction #snippets #look i love manic claude so much #technically the rest of this section gets kind of dire #but this opening is peak comedy to me #pre-timeskip fix-it

11 notes · View notes

frozen-orbit · 4 years

Text

Well well, it's time for another "Psychology ft. Disney" post.

I'm glad to announce this time we are going to analyse a character that in my opinion is probably the best villain Disney has ever made: Claude Frollo.

Today's special guest is Albert Bandura with his Social Cognitive Theory.

To understand, Bandura says that people can motivate and guide their actions through proactive control, something he denominated "self-regulation". He believes that this regulation can happen through moral standards of conduct, basically by justifying the morality of one's actions. There are four different mechanisms in which self-regulation can happen through moral agency, and I'm about to explain them with the help of, you guessed it, Judge Frollo.

Redefine the behaviour

Through this, people justify reprehensible actions by a cognitive restructuring that allows them to minimize or escape responsibilities. It can be through moral justification, in which otherwise culpable behaviour is made to seem defensible or even noble. Frollo used the clergy just as an excuse to treat the gypsies the way he treated them, and the religion to punish those he thought deserved it. He believed everything he did was perfectly justified because he did it "in the name of God".

Redefinition of behaviour could also be through the use of "euphemistic labels". Frollo literally told Quasimodo that the tower where he lived was his "sanctuary". We know this was because he wanted him to stay there; he made him see like that was a not-so-bad place at all to be, so he then didn't want to leave anymore. Frollo also told him that he raised him as his own child, when he basically treated him like his servant and never gave him love as a real parent should.

Disregard or distort the consequences of behaviour

This method involves distorting or obscuring the relationship between the behaviour and its detrimental consequences. People can do it by ignoring their actions' effects, when they don't see the harmful consequences of their behaviour. Frollo was selfish enough to ignore how he basically put the entire Paris on fire and mass killed innocent people. This mechanism can also happen by misconstructing the consequence of their actions, as how Frollo didn't stop the persons attacking Quasimodo at the festival because he believed he would then learn to not be out there anymore.

Dehumanize or blame the victims

People can obscure responsibility for their actions by either dehumanizing their victims or attributing blame to them. In Frollo's case… well, where to start. He considered the gypsies some kind of subhuman, maybe not even humans, so he didn't feel guilt for killing them.

Sometimes the victim can also be blamed for the perpetrator's culpable conduct. Like Frollo blaming Esmeralda for the desire he had for her. He literally goes through all of his solo song saying how he's not the real guilty.

Displace or diffuse responsibility

This can happen by spreading the responsibility so thin that no one is responsible, sometimes achieving it to something ambiguous. Like when Frollo told Quasimodo the reasons he shouldn't go outside; he never said it was because of himself, he blamed the world to be "cruel" and "wicked" for a person as ugly as Quasimodo to interact with.

And this is it guys, Frollo representing each mechanism of self-regulation through moral agency. If you're interested, all the info about Albert Bandura and the Social Cognitive Theory was taken from the book Theories of Personality by Jess Feist & Gregory J. Feist – 7 ed. :)✨

71 notes · View notes

lushscreamqueen · 2 years

Text

The Rocky Horror Picture Showeth Shakespearian English version. Part one of two - by Lushscreamqueen

The Rocky Horror Picture Showeth Shakespearian English version. - 2018

(SONG) SCIENCE FICTION DOUBLETH FAVOUR

Usherette: Michael Rennie wast ill

The Day the Earth did stand Still

But he did tell us whence we standeth.

And Flash Gordon wast thither

In silver underwear,

Claude Rains wast the eyeless sir.

Then something did wend wrong

For Fay Wray and King Kong;

They did get did do catch in a celluloid jam.

Then at a deadly pace 't did do cometh From Outer Space. And this is how the message did runneth:

Chorus: Science fiction, doubleth favour

leech X wilt buildeth a creature.

See androids fighting Brad and Janet

Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet

Wo Oh Oh Oh Oh

At the late night, doubleth favour, picture showeth.

Usherette: I did knoweth Leo G. Carrol wast ov'r a barrel at which hour Tarantula did take to the hills.

And I very much did get hot

at which hour I did see Jeanette Scott

mortal arbitrament a triffid yond spits poison and kills.

Dana Andrews did do sayeth Prunes

did giveth him the runes

And passing those folk did use lots of arts.

But at which hour Worlds Collide,

did do sayeth George Powell to his bride,

"I'm gonna giveth thou some lacking valor thrills, Like a.

Chorus: Science fiction, doubleth favour

Leech X wilt buildeth a creature.

See androids fighting Brad and Janet

Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet

Wo Oh Oh Oh Oh

At the late night, doubleth favour, picture showeth.

I wisheh to wend Oh Oh Oh

To the late night doubleth favour picture showeth

By RKO, Oh Oh Oh

To the late night doubleth favour picture showeth

In the back row,

Oh Oh Oh To the late night, doubleth favour,

Picture showeth….

~~~

Ralph: I guesseth we finally didst t, I understand you not.

Brad: I bethink not th're's any doubteth about yond. Thee and Betty has't been almost inseparable since thee hath met in Leech Scott's refresh'r courses.

Ralph: Well to bid thee the sooth, Brad, yond's the only reasoneth i hath shown up in the first lodging.

Betty: O. K. thee guys, this is't.

Ralph: Well Betty's going to throweth the bouquet.

Janet: I did get t! I did get t!

Ralph: Ho big fella, looks liketh t couldst beest thy turneth next, eh?

Brad: Who is't knoweth.

Ralph: Well, so longeth, seeth thee Brad. Guesseth we bett'r receiveth going anon Betty. Cometh on, hopeth in. Seeth ya, Brad!

Brad: Aye Janet, Ralph's a lucky Sir.

Janet: Aye.

DentonianWench: I at each moment caterwauling at weddings.

Brad: Uh, ev'ryone knoweth yond Betty is a wond'rful dram cook.

Janet: Aye.

Brad: Wherefore Ralph himself, that gent'll beest in line f'r a promotion in a year 'r two.

Janet: Aye.

Brad: Ho Janet.

Janet: Aye brad?

Brad: I've did get something to sayeth.

Janet: Uh i understand you not.

Brad: I very much loveth the. skilful way. Thee did beat the oth'r girls, to the bride's bouquet.

Janet: Oh Brad.

(SONG) ALAS’T JANET..

Brad: The riv'r wast deep but I did swim t. (Janet)

The future is ours so alloweth's planeth t. (Janet)

So prithee, bid not me to can t. (Janet)

I've one thing to sayeth and yond's dammit, Janet i loveth thee.

The road wast longeth but i ranneth t. (Janet)

Th're's a fireth in mine own heart and thee fan t. (Janet)

If 't be true th're's one daw f'r thee then I am t. (Janet)

I've one thing to sayeth and yond's

Alas’t Janet I loveth thee.

H're's a ringeth to proveth yond I'm nay jok'r.

Th're's three ways yond loveth can groweth.

Yond's valorous, lacking valor, 'r mediocre.

Oh, J-a-n-e-t I loveth thee so.

Janet: Oh, t's nic'r than Betty Munroe hadst. (oh Brad)

Anon we're engag'd and I'm so fain (oh Brad)

Yond thee hath met mother and thee knoweth father. (oh Brad)

I've one thing to sayeth and yond's Brad,

I'm nimble-footed, f'r thee too.

Oh Brad.

Brad: Oh. Alas 't !

Janet: I'm nimble-footed.

Brad: Oh, Janet.

Janet: F'r thee.

Brad: I loveth thee too

Brad & Janet: Thither's one thing did leave to doth - ah - oo.

Brad: And yond's wend see the sir

who is't did do beginneth 't. (Janet)

At which hour we did meet in his science exam - 't (Janet)

did maketh me giveth thou the eye and then panic. (Janet)

Anon I've one thing to declare and yond's,

Alas ‘t Janet,

I love thou.

Alas ‘t Janet.

Janet: Oh Brad,I'm nimble-footed.

Brad: Alas’t, Janet.

Brad & Janet: I love thou.

~~~

'T's true, eke, yond the spare Wheel they wast carrying wast badly in needeth of some repair, but, uh, they being ingraft kids and, on a night night out.

Well, they wast not going to did let a storm spoil the events of their evening, wast they?

On a night out. 't wast a night out they wast going to recall. For a very long time.

~~~

Janet: Gosh, yond's the third carriage yond's did pass us. They sure doth taketh their liveth in their hands, what with the weather and all.

Brad: Ay, life's quaint vile to yond type.

Janet: Oh.. What's the matter, Brad ladybird?

Brad: Hmmm. We wilt hast taken the wrong fork a few miles back.

Janet: Oh, but whence did do yond carriage cometh from?

Brad: Hmmm. Well I guess we'll just hast to turn back.

Janet: Oh! What wast yond bang?

Brad: We wilt hast a breaketh. ALAS ‘T ! I did knoweth I shouldst hast gotten yond spare wheel did fix. Well, thou just stayeth hither keepeth warm and I'll wend for holp.

Janet: But whence wilt thou wend in the middle of nowhere?

Brad: Didn't we passeth a castle back down the road a few miles? Haply they hast a Messenger I couldst did lie-to.

Janet: I'm going with thou.

Brad: Oh, nay, ladybird, thither's nay sense in both of us getting did wet.

Janet: I'm coming with thou! Besides ladybird, the owner of yond messenger might beest a quite quaint mistress, and thou might nev'r cometh back again.

Brad: Heh, heh, heh, heh.

(SONG) OV’R AT THE FRANKENSTEIN LODGING

Janet: In the velvet darkness, Of the blackest night, Burning bright, thither's a guiding star. Nay matter what or who is't thou art.

Brad & Janet: Thither's a light.

Chorus: Ov'r at the Frankenstein lodging.

Brad & Janet: Thither's a light.

Chorus: Burning in the fireplace.

Brad & Janet: Thither's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life.

Riff Raff: The darkness wilt wend down the river of night's dreaming. Flow morphia slow, did let the travelling lamp and light cometh streaming Into mine life. Into mine life.

Brad & Janet: Thither's a light.

Chorus: Ov'r at the Frankenstein lodging.

Brad & Janet: thither's a light.

Chorus: Burning in the fireplace. Thither's a light, a light

Brad & Janet: In the darkness of everybody's life.

Brad: I can see the flag fly I can see the rain Just the same, thither hath did get to beest Something better hither for thou and me.

~~~

Narrator: And so, 't did seem yond fortune did has't did smile on Brad and Janet and yond they did has't did find the assistance yond their plight required.. Or did has't they?

Janet: Brad, did shalt we wend back, I'm bitter cold and I'm gasted.

Brad: Just a moment Janet, they might hast a messenger .

Riff Raff: Valorous morrow to thee, sir.

Riff Raff: Thou're did wet.

Janet: Ay - 't's raining.

Brad: Ay.

Riff Raff: Ay. I bethink haply thou better both cometh inside

Janet: Thou're too kind… Oh Brad, I'm gasted. What kind of a lodging is this?

Brad: Oh, 't's belike some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos.

Janet: Oh.

Riff Raff: This way.

Janet: Art thou having a party?

Riff Raff: thou've arrived on a rather special night. 't's one of the master's affairs.

Janet:Oh, lucky him.

Magenta: Thou're lucky, he's lucky, I'm lucky, we're all lucky! Ha ha ha.

(SONG) THE TIME WARP

Riff Raff: 't's astounding; Time is fleeting; Madness doth take its toll. But hark closely.

Magenta: Not for very much longer.

Riff Raff: I've did get to keepeth control. I recall doing the time-warp Drinking those moments at which hour The blackness would did hit me

Riff & Magenta: And a void would beest calling.

Transylvanians: did shalt we doth the time-warp again. Did shalt we doth the time-warp again.

Narrator: 't's just a jump to the did leave.

All: And then a grise to the right.

Narrator: With thy hands on thy hips.

All: thou endue thy hams in tight.

But 't's the pelvic did thrust

yond very much drives thou insane.

Did shalt we doth the time-warp again.

Magenta: 't's so dreamy,

Oh figure free me.

So thou can't see me,

Nay, not at all.

In another dimension,

with voyeuristic intention,

Well secluded, I see all.

Riff Raff:With a did bite of a mind flip

Magenta: Thou're into the time slip.

Riff Raff: And nothing can ever beest the same.

Magenta: Thou're spaced out on sensation.

Riff Raff:Like thou're under sedation.

All: Did shalt we doth the time-warp again. Did shalt we doth the time-warp again.

Columbia: Well I wast walking down the street

just a-having a bethink

at which hour this snake of a guy

did giveth me an evil wink.

He did shake me up, he did take me by hoyday

He did has't a pickup cart,

and the flibbertigibbet's eyes.

He did stare at me and I did feel a changeth.

Time did mean nothing, nev'r would again.

All: Did shalt we doth the time-warp again

Did shalt we doth the time-warp again.

Narrator: 'T's just a jump to the did leave!

All: And then a grise to the right.

Narrator: With thy hands on thy hips.

All: Thou endue thy hams in tight.

But 't's the pelvic did thrust

yond very much drives thou insane.

Did shalt we doth the time-warp again.

Narrator: 'T's just a jump to the did leave!

All: And then a grise to the right.

Narrator: With thy hands on thy hips.

All: Thou endue thy hams in tight.

But 't's the pelvic did thrust

yond very much drives thou insane.

Did shalt we doth the time-warp again.

Janet: Brad, declare something.

Brad: Declare, doth any of thou guys wot how to Madison?

Janet: Brad, prithee, did shalt we receiveth out of hither.

Brad: For God's sake keepeth a grip on yourself Janet.

Janet: But 't. 't seemeth so unhealthy hither.

Brad: 'T's just a party, Janet.

Janet: Well - I wanteth to wend.

Brad: Well we can't wend anywhere until I receiveth to a messenger.

Janet: Well then asketh the butler or someone.

Brad: Just a moment, Janet - we don't wanteth to interfere with their celebration.

Janet: This isn't the Junior Cubiculo of Commerce, Brad.

Brad: They're belike foreigners with ways different than our own. They may doth some moo. Folk dancing.

Janet: Behold, I'm bitter cold, I'm did wet, and I'm just plain gasted!

Brad: I'm hither - thither's nothing to worry about.

(SONG) SWEET TRANSVESTITE

Frank: How doth thou doth,

I See thou've did meet mine Faithful handyman.

He's just a dram did do bring down

Because at which hour thou knapped

He did do bethink thou wast the candyman.

Don't receiveth did string out by the way I behold.

Don't judge a booketh by its covereth.

I'm not much of a sir by the light of day

But by night I'm one hell of a lover.

I'm just a sweet transvestite

From Transsexual, Transylvania.

Did let me bewray thou 'round

Haply playeth thou a sound.

Thou behold like thou're both quaint groovy.

Or if 't be true thou wanteth something visual

Yond's not too abysmal,

We couldst taketh in an corky Steve Reeves tale.

Brad: I'm fain we did do catch thou at home,

couldst we did lie-to thy messenger?

We're both in a did bite of a hie.

Janet: Right.

Brad: We'll just declare whence we art,

Then wend back to the cart.

We don't wanteth to beest any worry.

Frank: Well thou did get did do catch with a champain,

well, how 'bout yond?

Well, babies, don't thou panic.

By the light of the night

't'll all seemeth valorous now.

I'll receiveth thou a satanic mechanical.

I'm just a sweet transvestite

From Transsexual, Transylvania.

Wherefore don't thou stayeth for the night?

Riff Raff: Night.

Frank: Or haply a bite?

Columbia: Bite.

Frank: I couldst bewray thou mine minion obsession. I've been making a sir With blond hair and a tan

And he's valorous for relieving mine.

Tension I'm just a sweet transvestite

From Transsexual, Transylvania.

Did hit 't, did hit 't!

I'm just a sweet transvestite

Frank, Columbia, Riff Raff, Magenta: Sweet transvestite

Frank: From Transsexual,

Columbia, Riff Raff, Magenta: Transylvania.

Frank: So - cometh up to the lab,

And see what's on the slab.

I see thou shiver with antici --- pation.

But haply the rain

Is very much to censure.

So I'll remove the cause.

But not the symptom.

Janet: Oh! Brad!

Brad: 't's valorous now Janet. We'll playeth 'long for anon and dismount the aces at which hour the time is right.

Columbia: Oh, but soft, but soft! 't's too nice a job to drive.

Brad: good morrow, mine name is Brad Majors, and this is mine fiancee, Janet Weiss; ah. Thou art?

Columbia: thou're very lucky to beest did invite up to Frank's laboratory. Some people would giveth their right armeth for the privilege.

Brad: People like thou haply.

Columbia: Ha! I've seen 't.

Riff Raff: cometh 'long - the master doesn't like to beest did keep waiting.

Magenta: Shift 't!

Janet: Is he, um, Frank I cullionly - is he thy husband?

Riff Raff: The master is not yet did marry, nor doth I bethink he ever wilt beest. We art simply his meiny.

Janet: Oh.

Frank: Magenta, Columbia - wend assist Riff Raff. I wilt entertain. Uh i understandeth thee not i understandeth thee not.

Brad: Brad Majors. This is mine fiancee, Janet "Vice".

Janet: Weiss.

Brad: Weiss? Um.

Brad: Hospitality? All we did want to doth wast to did lie-to thy messenger, God alas ‘t, a reasonable request which thou've chosen to ignore!

Janet: Brad, don't beest ungrateful.

Brad: Ungrateful!

Frank: How forceful thou art, Brad. Such a perfect specimen of manhood. So. Dominant. Thou wilt beest awfully fustian of him, Janet.

Janet: Well, ay I am.

Frank: doth thou hast any tattoos,

Brad? Brad: forsooth not! Frank: Oh well. How about thou?

Janet: nay.

Riff Raff: Everything is in readiness, master. We merely await thy. Word.

Magenta & Columbia: An accident!

Frank: Throweth ope the switches on the sonic oscillator. And grise the reactor power did input THREE moo POINTS!

Janet: Oh, Brad!

Brad: 'T's valorous now, Janet!

Frank: Oh! Rocky!

(SONG) BODKIN OF DAMOCLES

Rocky: The bodkin of Damocles is hanging ov'r mine mazzard,

And I've did get the humour someone's gonna beest cutting the thread.

Frank: Thou blinking clotpole!

Rocky: Oh, woe is me, mine life is a misery.

Oh, can't thou see, yond

I'm at the start of a quaint big downer.

I did wake up this morn

with a start at which hour

I did fall out of catch but a wink chamber.

All: yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: And did leave from mine dreaming wast a humour of unnameable dread.

All: yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: mine high is base,

I'm did dress up with nay lodging to wend.

And all I wot is

I'm at the start of a quaint big downer.

Frank: Oh, Rocky!

All: Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: Oh ho nay nay

All: Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: Oh ho nay nay

All: Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: Oh ho nay nay

Rocky: The bodkin of Damocles

is hanging ov'r mine mazzard.

Frank: Well, very much!

All: Yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: And I've did get the humour

someone's going to beest cutting the thread.

All: Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: Oh, woe is me,

mine life is a mystery

And, can't thou see,

yond I'm at the start of a quaint big downer

All: Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: Oh nay nay nay.

All: Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime.

Rocky: Oh nay nay nay.

All: Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime,

Sha-la-la-la yond ain't nay crime,

Sha-la-la.

Frank: Well very much. Yond's nay way to behave on thy first day out.

Rocky: Fie fie

Frank: But since thou're such an exceptional beauty, I am did prepare to forgive thou.

Rocky: Fie fie

Frank: Oh, I just love success.

Riff Raff: He's a credit to thy genius, master.

Frank: ay.

Magenta: A triumph of thy wilt.

Frank: Ay.

Columbia: He's O.K.

Frank: O.K? O.K? I bethink we can doth better than yond. Humph! Well, Brad and Janet, what doth thou bethink of him?

Janet: Well, I don't like men with too many muscles.

Frank: I didn't maketh him FOR thou! He carries the Charles Atlas seal of approval.

(SONG) I CAN MAKETH THOU A SIR (part I)

Frank: A weakling weighing ninety-eight pounds

wilt receiveth sand in his visage

at which hour did kick to the did grind;

And lief in the gym with a did determine chin,

The did sweat from his pores as he worketh for his cause

wilt maketh him glisten. And gleam.

And with massage, and just a dram did bite of steam,

He'll beest pink and quite crisp

He'll beest a stout sir.

Oh honey.

Frank & Transylvanians: But the wrong sir.

Frank: He'll englut nutritious high protein.

And swallow raw eggs.

Tryeth to buildeth up his shoulders,

his chest, arms, and, forks.

Such an effort if 't be true

he only did knoweth of mine plan.

In just seven days.

Frank & Transylvanians: I can maketh thou a sir.

Frank: He'll doth press-ups, and chin-ups,

doth the snatch, crisp and jackanapes.

He thinkest dynamic tension wilt beest hard worketh.

Such strenuous living I just don't understandeth,

at which hour in just seven days, oh baby, .

I can maketh thou a sir.

Columbia: Eddie!

(SONG) HOT PATOOTIE (BLESS MINE SOUL)

Eddie: There's few or none will entertain

it betid to Saturday night,

at which hour thou did dress up sharp

and thou did feel valorous now?

'T don't seemeth the same since cosmic light

did do cometh into mine life,

I did do bethink I wast divine.

I did use to wend for a ride with a wench who is't'd wend,

And hark to the music on the mintrels showeth;

AN instrument wast blowin' in a rock 'n roll bewray.

Thou did climb in the back seat,

thou very much did has't a valorous time.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Mine mazzard did use to swim

from the civet I smelled.

Mine hands kind of fumbled

with that lady white plastic belt.

I'd gust that lady baby pink lipstick

and yond's at which hour I'd melt

And the lady'd whisper in mine ear

tonight the lady very much wast mine.

Receiveth back in front,

did put some hair oil on

Buddy Holly wast singing

his very last song.

With thy arms 'round thy wench

thou'd tryeth to sing 'long.

'T did feel quaint valorous.

Woo! Thou very much did has't a valorous time.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Hot patootie, bless mine soul,

I very much love yond rock 'n roll.

Frank: One from the vaults. …. Oh baby. Don't beest did upset. 't wast a mercy killing. He did has't a certain naive charm, but nay muscle. Oh!

(SONG) I CAN MAKETH THOU A SIR (part II)

Frank: But a deltoid and a bicep.

A hot groin and a tricep.

Maketh me, oooh, shake,

maketh me wanteth to taketh

Charles Atlas by the

Ha-ha-handeth.

Frank & Transylvanians: In just seven days I can maketh thou a sir.

Frank: I don't wanteth nay dissention, just dynamic tension.

Janet: I'm a muscle fan.

Frank: In just seven days,

I can maketh thou a sir

Dig 't if 't be true thou can

In just seven days,

I can maketh thou a sir.

Transylvanians: Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah!

Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah!

Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah.

............................. continuedeth

#rocky horror show #Shakespearian

3 notes · View notes