#Due to some personal concerns of possible insensitivity I cut back on what I’d actually would have done for him

[clownsuu]

Yooo, you got a design for Helob from clut of the lamb? Your designs are always bussin 🔥🔥

Spoodler fhchHFHFHF-

[shihalyfie]

Yamato, Adventure’s most dramatically emotional cast member

The “edgy cool bishounen rival” has been such a staple of shounen anime for years that the moment you look at Yamato and his position next to Taichi, it’s easy to go “ah, yep, there it is.” But just like how Taichi’s actually very different from the shounen hero stereotype, Yamato, despite what his first impression and character design might suggest, is in fact the complete opposite!

Actually, I’ll start this off with an interesting story from Yamato’s own voice actor, Kazama Yuuto:

Yeah. When my agent asked me which role I wanted to try out, I thought I couldn’t do a pretty boy character like him, so I was really astonished when I was chosen for the role. Afterwards, when I asked Kakudou-san [the director] about it, he said that he’d decided on me the instant I’d come in... I’d heard that Yamato was a cool character, which I thought was a part of him that didn’t agree with me. So there was that factor in the beginning. But I learned that he was actually quite similar to me, and a surprisingly passionate guy.

I don’t generally have a huge tendency to include voice actor comments in analysis about writing, but I do think it says a lot that even his own voice actor walked in expecting the typical “pretty boy rival” character to the extent that he felt he’d have difficulty doing the role at all, only for the actual nature of Yamato’s character to catch him off guard! Because, yeah, that really is the case: Yamato’s first impression really is very deceptive, and his actual personality is, indeed, full of open passion and emotion in nearly every way.

Yamato in Adventure

...No, really, it really does not take long for it to be very clear that Yamato’s immediately not like the stereotype his character archetype would suggest, considering that even as early as Adventure episode 2, he was depicted as very obviously being open about his opinions, even if that made him quick to criticize.

When you talk about “rival” characters, usually, the reason such characters seem cold and standoffish is that there’s a certain degree of pride to them, or, in other words, they want to keep up a facade of being “cool” and rational and thus aren’t quick to show their emotions. But Yamato isn’t like that at all! From the very beginning, he speaks often, is very open and honest about his thoughts, and doesn’t seem to even really care what others think at all.

The Adventure novels do, in fact, make clear that he was more closed-in prior to arriving in the Digital World, and these bursts of emotion were actually unusual behavior for him at the time -- but it’s not because he’s prideful or anything! Firstly, it wasn’t necessarily that he deliberately cut himself off from others -- rather, he was still willing to engage in some degree of friendly interaction:

It wasn’t because he was lonely. In fact, many of his classmates would greet him with a friendly “Yo!” or “Hi~!” when they came across him and, naturally, Yamato would respond back with a smile.

And, in fact, said novel indicates that there’s a lot going on deeper than him merely suppressing his emotions for the sake of it:

The people around Yamato may have thought that he was a cold, aloof person, but that was only because he didn’t show what he thought to other people. When had he become like that? He hadn’t been like that when he was younger. But after his parents decided to divorce and his mom took Takeru by the hand and left home… Don’t go! Please don’t go! Don’t leave me! The truth was, he had wanted to plead with her and cry — but he couldn’t. Part of it had to do with his father standing by his side. Maybe his mother had secretly wished for Yamato to say that to her. But at that moment, Yamato had thought that he would never show weakness in front of his mom, even if he died from it. It was his own decision to follow his dad. Ever since coming to the Digital World, even Yamato was surprised by how much emotion he expressed. All of the emotion that he’d held back while at home, at school, had come bursting out without pause.

It’s also important to understand the reasons why he blows up so easily at Taichi in Adventure episodes 3 and 6 and whatnot -- he does it because he’s constantly looking out for the others and worried about their welfare. Pretty much all of the arguments he has with Taichi for the majority of the series involve him objecting to his perception of Taichi as insensitive, because Taichi has a tendency to tease others or bid for everyone to keep pushing forward into dangerous situations or when they’re tired. So, really, Yamato gets angered and emotional and picks his fights with Taichi because he cares too much, not because he’s deliberately trying to cultivate an image of being detached. Once they were outside the range of his family and their classmates and stranded in another world, Yamato’s bleeding heart instantly won out, and he started advocating for the welfare of everyone else.

This is why Yamato’s the one who gets the Crest of Friendship, because even though he starts off by putting up a defensive wall between himself and the others and seems very difficult to deal with, even when he gets angry and upset, he’s constantly upset on other people’s behalf. Even from the very beginning of the series, he’s actually one of the most caring people in the cast!

Really, the entire first few introductory episodes with Yamato can be pretty succinctly described as Yamato coping really badly with all those years of emotional suppression and letting it out in some pretty severe outbursts, especially when it comes to Takeru, whom he’d never been able to properly take care of as an older brother due to their parents’ divorce. (And while he’s definitely a little better at managing it, Takeru himself is actually also doing a pretty bad job with that whole emotional suppression and lack of catharsis thing.) Standoffish and cold? Nah -- not when Yamato has the single highest count of openly breaking down and crying out of the whole cast in Adventure.

And, for all it’s worth, remember that stereotypical “cold rival” characters in this kind of shounen series would normally be very ashamed at others seeing them so emotional, but Yamato...doesn’t really seem to care about the others seeing him do some really embarrassingly reckless stuff during his episodes of exploding over Takeru’s welfare. Once it’s past him, he doesn’t really dwell on it and moves on. Again: Yamato isn’t the kind of person who actually cares that much about what other people think of him.

Adventure episode 18 is an often-overlooked episode when it comes to Yamato, but it’s significant because it makes it clear that he doesn’t really have a problem being conversational and friendly with others (especially since, remember, any emotional suppression had more to do with the trauma and sensitive feelings surrounding his parents’ divorce and a desire to not show weakness) -- he starts a very lighthearted, friendly chat with Koushirou over why they’re looking for their Crests, and even admits that the reason he wants his own Crest is that he’s self-conscious about the idea of everyone else changing and improving as people while he gets left behind. That’s a really personal thing to admit, and arguably something very sensitive! It’s something you wouldn’t even blame him for potentially being self-conscious about! But he’s perfectly humble in admitting that this is something he wants to improve in, and carries on this entire conversation in a light-hearted, cheerful manner.

This episode takes place during a time where everything seems to be “safe” (they’re within Piccolomon’s barrier and finally have a proper place to sleep), and are on the verge of finding their own Crests in a situation that does not ostensibly involve running for their lives, so this is when you get to see Yamato in a relaxed situation. And, really, he’s very friendly and open, with no restraint about it. He really isn’t the kind of person to be condescending or cold by nature!

It’s even more incorrect to pin Yamato as someone who tries to act more on rationality (again, like the “cold rival” stereotype would suggest) because, in fact, he’s the kind of person who gets completely carried away by his own caring for others to the extent of irrationality. For instance, in Adventure episode 23 when his conflicting loyalties to Takeru versus wanting to help Jou in his situation get all mixed up, and he tries to buy into PicoDevimon's trick to turn Jou against him as a solution to taking sides before Jou clearly indicates this is the case, and Yamato doesn't hesitate to feel really bad about it. Openly so. Condescension? Nah.

No, really, I could just keep taking screenshots from Adventure all day if you want evidence of “Yamato is openly and passionately emotional to explosive degrees because he cares too much about others, and makes no real pretense of hiding it.” If you’re still not convinced, I don’t know what to tell you.

When Yamato infamously succumbs to Jureimon’s bait in Adventure episode 44 and ends up picking a fight with Taichi -- possibly his most self-centered action in the entire series -- it’s interesting to see that Jureimon does use the word “rival”, the same word used in anime trope lingo to describe “the person you’re constantly fighting with and competing with in order to improve yourself”. The reason why this is fascinating is that Adventure is making a point here that this kind of “stereotypical anime rival” relationship would be extremely unhealthy for these characters.

No, really: at least as far as Yamato’s concerned, and what defines the kind of “friendship” these particular kids need, what these kids need is mutual emotional support, not engineered conflict that can be passed off as “they fight but it’s a sign of how much they know each other!” Remembering that Adventure is, in many ways, a series that prioritizes wanting to focus on portraying the intimate nature of human behavior, it’s not surprising that it goes out of its way to make clear that centering your relationship with a friend around needing to “outdo” them is a really bad thing. (Observe how 02′s Daisuke and Ken also don’t fit the “rivals” archetype at all and are merely a straightforward relationship of best friends in little to no conflict, despite occupying the stereotypical position.)

But Jureimon successfully digs into all of Yamato’s insecurities about his perceived lack of self-improvement and his tendency to compare himself to the polar-opposite Taichi in terms of Taichi’s charisma and way of (ostensibly) playing better to Takeru’s dislike of being coddled. And so, the engineered conflict happens, and, of course, it traumatizes everyone around them. When Yamato finally manages to get over himself after some timely intervention from “the one who seeks stability” (Homeostasis) in Adventure episode 45, everyone in the group is miserable from the ordeal.

Adventure episode 51 basically lays down the two major issues Yamato had been facing up until that point, and ties it into a neat bow: the reason Yamato had become so obsessed with self-improvement was because he wanted to prove he was "independent" and "not weak", but in the end, he still sees himself as an inferior person compared to everyone else -- culminating in him eventually seeing Taichi as a better person than him. Gabumon reaches out to Yamato by clarifying Yamato’s right to not compete, but be unique; it’s not about competing or being a “better” or “worse” version of others, it’s finding his important niche in the group or in the world with the things only he’s good at. Yamato says it in explicit words in Two-and-a-Half Year Break:

Dad doesn’t remember. On the day when we had to decide whether Takeru or I would go with him… Neither Dad or Mom could decide, so I did. I thought, this way, Takeru would be able to stay with Mom. I chose for myself. And after that, I always chose for myself. Or that’s what I’d planned to. Even though I was called a Chosen Child, it was me who was going to choose what to do. No way was I going to be used for other people’s convenience. Maybe that’s why I went so far to keep myself from making friends. But in the end, I acknowledged that what I was doing was unreasonable. After all, I’m not living in this world by myself. If I hadn’t met Gabumon, I never would have realized that. The person I am right now, is not alone.

As long as Yamato only ever sees himself as a replaceable piece meant to fill in the same niches as everyone else, he’ll continue to be horribly critical of himself for not being a perfect person and ultimately being “useless” or “not necessary”. But it’s not about being perfect or a better or worse replacement, it’s about embracing himself and what he can do in his own way, and, indeed, at the end of the episode, Yamato’s arrival on the scene makes it clear that the group ultimately needs both of them, not just one.

It’s also interesting in that, whereas most of the kids (especially in the Adventure finale) are very open about their own feelings to their own partners, Yamato and Gabumon are capable of “communicating” in some sense just by Yamato playing the harmonica. But it’s perhaps because Yamato is normally so open and passionate about his own feelings that such a tacit method is something they can do -- they’ve already bared themselves to each other so many times already, that in the end, all they need to do is just enjoy the abstract things together.

Yamato in 02 and after

So by the time we get to 02, any trace of coldness or detachment from Yamato has completely vanished.

I cannot emphasize this enough: completely vanished. Even in the middle of being a heartthrob for the teenagers in school thanks to his good looks and work with his band, he’s open and lacking in condescension whatsoever, and it’s basically like seeing the openly friendly Yamato from Adventure episode 18 for a whole series. Actually, it already says a lot that he’s in a band, considering it feels like shifting his music activities to a full-on band is there to make a deliberate statement that Yamato is now much better at socializing and working in organized groups now -- it’s a far cry from having to work solo or independently, and it’s significant that “the person who wanted to be able to do everything by himself” is now interested in doing something a bit more cooperative. (And to lend further to the idea he’s sentimental and constantly thinks of others, his band, the TEEN-AGE WOLVES, is all but confirmed to be named in indirect tribute to Gabumon.)

He’s open, conversational, makes a lot of silly faces throughout the series, and basically the only thing he has left that remotely resembles the “pretty boy rival” stereotype is that he’s deep in the aesthetic. But even then, you get the impression that he just does that because he genuinely likes it, not because he’s trying to be “cooler than you” or anything. And it’s easy to see why: Yamato, quite simply, got over himself. He stopped restraining himself all the time in his attempts to become a perfect person, and simply let himself loose to express himself how he wanted, and ultimately became a perfectly sociable and friendly person who’s now even popular at school!

Yamato’s punch on Taichi in 02 episode 10 is often taken as evidence that Taichi and Yamato embody the “rivals who constantly get in fights but are somehow still friends” trope, but this tends to avoid the actual context of the rest of the scene -- in fact, Daisuke himself rightfully points out that if Yamato had done this out of any actual anger or condescension, this would have been a really cruel thing to do to Taichi when he’s already going through so much. But Yamato’s not doing this out of resentment or condescension, he’s doing this for Taichi’s own sake to help him get out of his stupor, and the important part here is that he immediately holds out a hand to him afterwards. Or, in other words, this isn’t something they’re doing out of conflict, but out of communication, and it’s now at the point where Taichi understands Yamato’s intent, and Yamato knows that what he wanted to do would be conveyed to Taichi, without words.

That is why Taichi and Yamato are finally so close now: they understand each other’s feelings. They’re not competing with each other. They’re not resenting each other. They’re sympathetic and forgiving of each other, and they communicate, verbally or otherwise.

It’s followed by a scene in 02 episode 11 that’s also often construed as Taichi and Yamato advocating fighting as part of a healthy friendship, but, again, this omits context: they talk about their fighting in past tense! They’re referring as fighting having been part of the things they had to do to understand each other now, when they clearly aren’t in that kind of conflict anymore. The idea they’re espousing is that Daisuke and Takeru need to let out their feelings and have some catharsis if they want to truly understand each other (which is, indeed, how Taichi and Yamato eventually settled their differences) and hopefully get to a position of mutual understanding, instead of the others forcing them to have peace for the sake of peace and not letting their feelings get out on the table. (And, ultimately, Daisuke spends the rest of the episode thinking about Takeru’s position, and none of the 02 kids ever end up in this bad of a brawl for the rest of the series, yet manage to build a friendship in spite of that -- so, yes, the important part was that they had their feelings out in the open and got catharsis, not fighting in itself.)

Yamato also has an interesting role in the 02 drama CDs, including one entirely devoted to him (Letter). Said drama CD has quite a few things to note:

Gabumon says that Yamato being rather silent and not speaking up about what he’s thinking is unusual behavior for him.

As much as Yamato’s managed to do a better job opening up in general, he’s still suffering from extreme self-worth issues, considering himself as worthless if he’s not able to do anything for a girl in the hospital, even though it’s of course completely reasonable he can’t do much. Despite that, he continues to emotionally fixate on her welfare and basically self-flagellate and do a lot of pretty emotionally occupied things in the process.

Speaking of getting emotionally occupied, as much as he ends up snapping a bit at the people on the beach who keep annoying the hell out of him, he eventually feels so bad for the shaved ice seller that he forces himself to eat it just for him. (Even though it’s freezing.)

Yamato’s a really poetic person. Almost sappily so.

On top of that, Armor Evolution to the Unknown gives us an ever-so-slight glimpse of his dating life with Sora -- which, while he hadn’t been super-flagrant about, he also hadn’t been hiding either (he’s clearly willing to engage in a bit of PDA as per 02 episode 43), and, if the admittedly-kind-of-crack drama CD is to believed, he’s actually very emotionally passionate about his relationship to her, and very dedicated! Beyond just the (very sudden) passionate declaration of love to her in the middle of tap dancing, when Sora is found to have been worrying about him being cold lately, he immediately goes out of his way to try and make things right and prove his love...

Yamato’s initial appearance in Kizuna pretty much defines in a nutshell what his and Taichi’s relationship eventually turned out to be: they’re willing to banter because they’re comfortable with each other, but when it all comes down to it, they appreciate and trust each other deeply. Again, the point is that Yamato and Taichi are emotionally there for each other, considering that (even if he ribs Taichi a bit for it) Yamato’s willing to come all the way down to meet Taichi for late-night beer and talk to him through his emotional troubles.

And, yes, Yamato’s still there to be a concerned minder for Taichi and to make sure he doesn’t get too inconsiderate of what he’s doing -- but there’s no conflict over it, just the two of them balancing their necessary roles as part of the group and keeping each other in check. Again, as was made clear back in Adventure, it’s not about one person being more necessary than the other, it’s them both working together to fulfill their own roles.

As one of the central characters in the movie, Yamato’s also having an existential crisis of adulthood, and in his case, it’s that he’s playing everything too much by ear but isn’t really sure what he wants to commit to. He’s still enjoying music as a hobby, but it’s apparent he doesn’t want to commit to it as a career (which is, well, quite the common thing for those who have hobbies in middle school) -- and moreover, the novel indicates that it’s not bringing him happiness the way it used to. (The movie goes out of its way to depict Yamato feeling isolated with both a harmonica and a band, referencing that neither Adventure nor 02′s ways are doing it for him anymore.)

Beyond the motorcycle we see Yamato driving a few times in the movie, the official website profile makes it clear that this is one of his major new interests, and it’s presumably why he’s also attending an engineering school -- he can’t decide on a long-term goal, so he’ll at least experiment with the thing he likes. Yamato’s always been someone who thinks with emotions and feelings, so it fits him.

We also learn that he’s surprisingly studious, and is picking up some things that run contrary to his image (the glasses!), including the fact he seems to like school enough that he wants to do more school while he figures out what he wants to do. This is something that happens in real life for a certain kind of person in a career-based existential crisis -- as many people as there are who play very badly with educational structures, there are also people who rely very heavily on the structure of college or grad school basically handing you tasks to do on a plate, and find the job market to be scarier than staying within that bubble. It’s not too unreasonable to imagine that Yamato, who in certain ways has never really been the kind of person to assertively have an idea of “this is what I want to do!” and generally works by immediate feelings instead of long-term goals, would end up becoming that kind of person. As he says, it’s really just him trying to postpone the inevitable decision and get a grace period.

Since “shutting out one’s own partner (and therefore one’s own inner self)” is key to the cause of partner dissolution, Yamato’s way of it isn’t as direct as Taichi or Sora (who end up actively shutting out their partners in a bid to become an adult), but is most certainly there -- especially when he’s the one who drops a mocking line about the idea of bringing Gabumon to his school. (It’s not about whether it’s actually doable or not; it’s the fact that he laughs and scoffs at how stupid this is.) The fact he treats friends drifting apart as an “inevitable” thing, and eventually is shown very obviously to be keeping Gabumon out of the phone conversations (in stark contrast to the 02 quartet going out of their way to keep them involved on the other end) ultimately boils down to: neglect. Yamato’s coasting by on everything he likes, but it also means he’s just letting everything happen, instead of consciously pursuing things and passionately following things with gusto, the way he used to.

But we do see Yamato’s single-minded and passionate side come out again -- while Taichi shuts down and ruminates on what to do about his impending loss of Agumon, Yamato’s the one who desperately runs around trying to figure something out, recruiting the 02 quartet into it, losing sleep over it, and eventually having a passionate confrontation with Taichi as the climax approaches. (Note that this, again, is not a real conflict in nearly the same way the two of them would be spitting insults at each other all the way back in Adventure; it’s just the two baring their own feelings, and Yamato quickly accepts Taichi’s answer very easily because he, too, feels the same. Again: they’ve become very good at communicating.)

Yamato does eventually let Gabumon back into his periphery instead of neglecting him so much, and their final scene together in the movie involves them resuming their old method of tacit communication that they’d once shared together, with Yamato playing the harmonica. It’s a sign of Yamato finally embracing those things in the past that used to make him happy rather than cultivating an uncomfortable relationship with it just because he’d kicked it out of his career prospects, and ultimately coming to terms with what he likes and what makes him happy.

And speaking of career prospects...

The question of “why did Yamato become an astronaut?” is one that’s infamously weirded out people all over the globe because of how much it clashes with his image, and how much of a kind of “out-there” thing it is that had virtually no precedent whatsoever in Yamato’s prior hobbies. (Although, if you really think about it, space travel isn’t that huge of a hurdle as it sounds for a world like this where Digital Gates exist to bend space-time; you just send a probe with a Digital Gate link up there...) The original meta reason was, simply, that it was a holdover from one of the original ideas for the third Adventure series, in which they would be investigating forces that were obstructing evolution from space. (The original logical progression was that Adventure would have a threat from the Digital World, 02 a threat from the real world, so the theoretical third series would be space...) When you think about which of the original Tokyo Chosen Children would be the most likely to actively pursue this route, it actually is likely to be Yamato, given that Taichi is more of a person who’s an overall leader and coordinator, whereas Yamato, who’s much more up-front aggressive and openly passionate, would be more likely to want to tackle the situation with his own hands.

Kizuna -- or, more specifically, its novel -- offers another (and not mutually exclusive!) explanation:

While studying at graduate school, Yamato came up with a dream he had for his future. He wanted to study cosmology, and become an astronaut. The way there would not be easy. There was a whole mountain of things he’d have to do to get there. But Yamato had a certain ambition in mind. Someday, he was going to go to space with Gabumon. Whenever he thought of that future, Yamato was willing to do anything to get there.

Remembering that Yamato was at an engineering school (presumably originally from the motorcycles connection), it seems that he eventually “ran into” the career option by chance and happenstance, and thought about it and decided he wanted to follow it for the sake of going with Gabumon. It’s a very “romantic” and sappy kind of “out-there” dream, and, actually, that’s the point -- Yamato is a ridiculous romanticist, the kind of person who waxed about barbecue back in Adventure episode 6, and compared his relationship with Takeru to Hikoboshi and Orihime back in 02 episode 17, and spouted a bunch of poetic words at the sea during Letter. And, remember, he’s always been openly shameless and passionate about everything he’s felt and liked, and has never cared what other people would think.

And in the context of Kizuna, where Yamato was slowly losing touch with himself and his passions and eventually lost Gabumon as a result, it’s a very important sign that everything’s on its way back to healing, and that he’ll be able to achieve that future where they meet again.

[theangelicpyro]

The Prime Suspect

Detective C.C. Tinsley is stuck. The investigation into the local serial killer is going nowhere, and more often then not he finds himself drinking to avoid the stinging pain of failure. Ryan is doing his best to help, but the discussions they have usually consist of Tinsley humoring him, while relaxing for the slightest bit in front of the only person who doesn't blame him.

It's almost been a year since the first murder, and sometimes, Shane just wishes he was never transferred here. Sometimes, he wishes he was never here at all.

.

.

.

Nine.

The body count.

The number that had taken to haunting his mind as it steadily rose while the months passed by.

Detective C.C. Tinsley sighed, dropping his head in his hands after going over his clues. For the… millionth time. It was expected really, considering that almost a year had passed with absolutely no suspects. The town had lost faith in his ability long ago, after the two- and three-year-old's died.

They were the first of many. Too many. Such young souls, not even given the chance to truly live before their threads had been cut.

It was already November. Close to his only friend’s birthday, now that he thought about it. Ryan had seemed more skittish than usual; he’d have to check up on him soon. Tinsley wished he could solve the cases before the birthday arrived, if only so he could actually celebrate with nothing weighing him down.

He sighed again, this time rolling his long-since empty glass around his hand at the reminder of what he was supposed to have figured out almost eleven months ago. It was jarring, going from the quiet routine of a small place, to the terror of knowing a murderer is on the loose. The calm before the storm, he mused.

Standing up, he began pacing, his unfortunate downstairs neighbors far too used to it by now. What could he do? Was he just too incompetent at his job? Would he even be able to prevent another death?

He paused, startled only by the realization that he had to meet up with someone soon today to discuss potential suspects, not that it ever made a difference. They had never had any leads, and it always ended in empty promises of figuring out the killer before the next gathering. Glancing down at his clothes, he thought it might be good to freshen up beforehand.

It really wasn't a bad idea, he decided, finally looking in the mirror. Hair matted, prominent and permanent eyebags, and a hunched, hurting back from poring over his notes everyday.

After washing up and grabbing his coat off the rack, he headed out.

Ryan didn't live too far away; a pleasant walk one might say, plus Tinsley was far past the point of caring if he got murdered on his stroll there.

He wasn’t, and managed to make it there unscathed.

Ryan answered the door, oddly nervous. Well, more so than he had been in the past.

“Tinsley? There’s, there’s something I really have to tell you.” His voice grew more panicked with every word, his hands shaking while he closed the door behind the detective. “So I’ve been doing some, some research on numbers and, and I think I figured it out. The pattern.”

Ryan pulled his friend towards the back of his apartment, grip tight and knuckles white, showing him the stereotypical wall of the ages, pictures, and drawings, all tied together with red strings. There were books piled up all around, a computer with far too many tabs open, and notes pinned to every surface.

Tinsley was first concerned for his friend’s mental wellbeing, it’s barely been a week since I’ve seen him last and he already seems to have lost his mind , then began inspecting all what he had collected.

“Nine murders, with seemingly no connection. I looked them up in order on a whim and they’re all, they’re all prime numbers. Two, three, five, seven, eleven, thirteen, seventeen, nineteen, twenty-three....” He drew in a sharp breath, before turning to the detective with a fearful look in his eyes. “The next number is… twenty-nine.”

“...How old are you, Ryan?”

“I’m, I’m about to be twenty-nine.”

“Shit!” The detective cursed under his breath, ignoring the tell-tale burning sensation of tears prickling at his eyes.

“I’m going to die, aren’t I.”

“No you’re not! Not if I can help it!” Tinsley burst out, grasping Ryan’s shoulders as he looked into the other’s eyes. The two stood there a moment, the wannabe detective having lost his fear for a sense of emptiness while the true one tried to calm down.

“When’d you figured this out? The potential pattern.” He hissed internally at the pessimistic voice in his head saying it wasn’t just a possibility.

“Not too, not too long ago. The start of this week.”

“And you didn’t tell me immediately? Ryan, buddy, your life is on the line, you can’t afford to withhold this type of stuff!”

“I was in shock. Still in shock.” He corrected, hands trembling as he tried to sit and sit still, fidgeting under the piercingly worried stare.

Tinsley took a deep breath, then cleared his throat before speaking. “It’s… I can’t say that it’ll be okay, but… I will do my best to protect you, even if I have to die for you. I’ve already disappointed the town, but I never want to do the same to you.”

Ryan immediately backpedaled, though the strange hint of a smile was lost on the detective. “No! You’re the only person in this place that even has a chance of solving these murders, please don’t waste your life on me!” He paused, shifting his tone.

“You’re more important than you’ll ever know, never forget that.”

***

It was today. The day his only friend in this stupid place turned the age that seemed to be next in terms of the recent serial killer’s modus operandi.

C.C. Tinsley was stressed. More than stressed. Panicking? That was a better word for it.

He couldn’t afford to fail, not again. Not with so much at stake. He’d insisted on standing guard outside Ryan’s apartment, occasionally checking in but mostly staying out. It wasn’t until he heard the door open, unaware of the board smacking him upside the head, that effectively knocked him out.

The next thing he knew was the pain of duct tape, a splinter from the chair he was stuck to, and the crazed grin of someone far gone, for far too long.

“Did you really think I was going to die? Poor little ‘Ryan Bergara,’ the guy afraid of his own shadow? The guy that consequently doesn’t exist?” He crouched, smiling sweetly at the man he’d been stringing along like a puppet since the beginning.

“You know, there was a reason I told you the pattern. Wanna guess?” Tinsley glared, but said nothing. Not like he could anyway, due to the duct tape over his mouth. ‘Ryan’ pouted, but continued anyway.

“Mere. Curiosity. That’s it! I always thought, I know so much about crimes and how to get away with them, why not take a crack at it for myself? I figured my best introduction to the world would be seemingly random but violent deaths, ranging from as young as two to a young adult of twenty-three!” He took a bow, pretending as if there was an audience applauding him and his ‘accomplishments.’

“And you wanna know the best part? I succeeded!”

Detective Tinsley scowled, struggling in his bonds, attempting to kick his captor but only managing to knock over the chair he was taped to.

Ryan glanced boredly at the display of the man he defeated, the one currently writhing on the stone cold floor. “If you still think you’ll escape, you’re very naive, Mr. Tinsley.”

The killer suddenly lit up like a Christmas tree, and pulled out his phone. Beginning to cackle, he looked like a madman ready to lose it at any second. Calming down, he shifted personas into the one Tinsley knew best, the one that was apparently just a ruse. He ran around the room then quickly dialed a short number, breathing heavily from the exercise. “He-Hello? Police? I’d, I’d like to report an attempted murder… I barely got away, but we all know the killer well. It’s… It’s our very own town detective, Mr. Tinsley.” He smirked, watching the pieces of his game fall into place while Tinsley’s face fell, then his eyes were practically screaming his anger. “I, I don’t know where I am, no… Can’t you try to find him before getting me? I’d feel safer if he was caught and behind bars… Okay, th-thank you.” The call disconnected, and unimaginable fury rolled off the newly-pronounced scapegoat in waves. Ryan merely beamed, succeeding in only angering his victim further.

They sat in silence for a while, if you ignored the grunts of rage and various shuffling coming from the detective, still on the floor. Eventually, Ryan decided to take the duct tape off, if only to hear someone else talk than the voices in his head.

Immediately biting his hand, Tinsley tore through the skin in an attempt to escape. All that did however, was annoy the person who could easily kill him. He sighed, tugging on his hand before giving up. “Is this really all you can do? Come on, I could have sworn I told you that I have congenital insensitivity to pain. It’s the reason for all my fevers.” Ryan pointed to the now bleeding hand. “I can’t feel this, sorry to burst your bubble dear.”

Tinsley spat out the hand, glaring at its owner. “You’re insane, and I will stop you.”

“That’s rich, coming from the man stuck to a chair. And are you sure I’m the insane one? You’re the one stuck in your mind.” He burst out laughing, wheezing a bit before talking again. “I’m just kidding, I bet you wish this was only a dream!”

Waltzing around the fallen chair, Ryan petulantly sulked over the stubbornly quiet investigator. “You know, the point of taking off the tape was to hear you groan about my win and your loss, yadda yadda ya. And that’s not happening, so it wasn’t even worth it! Gosh, all that effort wasted…” He pulled out the roll of duct tape, tore off a piece, then went over to put it on his ‘friend.’

Tinsley flew into action, pulling out his wrists that had sweat so much the duct tape didn’t even stick anymore, and punched the other man straight into the nose, breaking it instantly. Ryan got up easily, bleeding profusely but undeterred from stopping now.  

Unfortunately that one punch was all he could do, as his legs were still attached to the chair. Even with his arms free, he still had fallen over in his original plan of escape, limiting him severely.

The sound of sirens startled the both of them.

Ryan glanced over to the window, surprised at his rather awful complexion, and the police cars pulled up outside the building. Then he sighed. “I really thought we’d have more time to play together. Alas, my destiny awaits!” Walking towards the entrance, he winked at the detective. “I had so much fun! Can’t wait for next time, my dear Mr. Tinsley!”

Throwing open the door dramatically, he wore a face not unlike that of a cheshire cat. “I’ll surrender now.” He said simply, looking over his shoulder to get one last glimpse of his confused captive. The small group of officers first headed past him, but all he did was say a few words before their weapons were pointed on him.

“You have the right to remain silent-”

“Anything I say can and will be used against me in the court of law, I know, I know. Just get it over with.” He held his hands out together, wrist side up, while the police kept reading out the Miranda Rights and cuffed him.

One of the members on the force went inside cautiously, and took in the sight of the downed detective, before taking out his knife and began freeing him from the tape.

“It, it wasn’t me,” He gasped, nodding towards the true culprit.

“We know.” Said the officer grimly, watching the proceedings of the arrest.

“I’m sorry, I was caught in his trap from the beginning, but he’s the one responsible. For the murders. I was just too blind to see it behind the facade he carefully crafted. Dammit, I gave him the information we had all this time because he was like a kid wanting to be a police officer when he grew up, and helping me out with so much research.” Tinsley dropped his head in his hands.

“I never thought he would be capable of something as sickening as being a serial killer.”

***

The next morning, Shane Madej, codename ‘C.C. Tinsley,’ turned in his badge. “Not fit for the job,” he said. “I don’t deserve it when I barely scraped through those cases.”

Ryan Bergara was put on trial, and his punishment was the death penalty. They say he was smiling all the way up until he met his end.

So, what’s next?

This small town suffered a total of 10 losses, if you count Mr. Bergara’s contribution. None do.

Mr. Tinsley moved to a place he was used to, a place where he fulfilled his need to have the hustle and bustle of a large city always able to be heard, lest the maniacal laughter and sharp pain of betrayal dig deep into his heart and ring throughout his head, teasing him in the voice of the person long since dead.

The nightmares still haunt him when he sleeps.

He wastes his life away, staying awake for as long as he possibly can to avoid them.

(It never works.)

One day, he simply…

Drops.

Dead to the world, dead to the dead.

It’s quite a shame, considering he’d been dead for far longer than that.

[kob131]

https://rwdestuffs.tumblr.com/post/625369121618640896/done-dirty-gods

I’d like to make the point that the light god, the dude who killed Oz repeatedly and abused Salem to the point that she became the villainous being that we know today, is somehow on the “Heroes Wiki.”

You know, not like she demanded special treatment, tried going behind his back and tried to destroy him and his brother all because she demanded that the cycle of death not apply to who she wants.

Because I guess abusers are heroes now.

Says the creator of the ‘Savivor Mom Raven’ series.

Oh, and also, I HAD TO USE GODDAMN SOUTH PARK AS PART OF MY OPENER!

Incorrectly might I add as both the Light and Dark gods are not portrayed as directly opposing each other. So you’re mad you ‘had’ to use a show’s meme...incorrectly.

Let’s get this out of the way for any of idiots out there: Salem was NOT responsible for Humanity 1.0′s death. She may have provoked these two asshats, but she wasn’t the one who

1: Loaded the gun.

2: Aimed the gun.

3: Fired the gun.

By the same logic, people say Yang murdered Adam. How does that go with you again?

What did Salem do?- She just stood up to them and, inadvertently, gave them a target. 

She directly lied to the first iteration of humanity after being punished for lying to the gods and being directly told she shouldn’t have done that all over demanding her husband be brought back to life even though God knows how many people die and aren’t brought back by the gods despite having just as much reason to want them back as Salem.

As far as I’m concerned, these gods were the villains of the story, and what I wouldn’t give to see Yang punch one of them in the face.

Probably because it’s a penis vs. vagina for you.

When making these “Godly” characters, it’s okay to give them flaws. In fact, that’s what makes the Greek Gods, Norse Gods, Japanese Gods, and Egyptian Gods so interesting. They have flaws, weaknesses, and more relatable personality aspects that makes it seem like we could have the guy responsible for the ocean’s tides as our next door neighbor, or the adorable little dog across the street as the one responsible for the sun coming up… and beating up a fish in a giant mech suit. Goddamn, I want to play Okami again.

I got off-topic. The point is, is that it’s okay for these Gods to give flawed advice… Provided that they gave advice at all.

See, Light God was insensitive to Salem’s plight, and in all likelihood, used the same rhetoric that her father used to lock her up in that tower as an excuse to just brush her off.

Salem: (falling to her knees) Please... Please, bring him back to me.

God of Light: I understand your pain, but you demand of me that which I cannot make so. Life and death are part of a delicate balance.

Such terrible rhetoric.

BTW, funny how you mention the Greek Gods. You want to know what the role of most Greek Gods are in their home myths?

Living Embodiments of Punishing Pride.

Helena Of Troy’s mother, Narcassist and Echo, Odysseus, Arachne, Midas-

Most of the targets of the gods were people who dared to act arrogant and like they were better/deserved more with the Gods smiting them for their fatal sin. Even the Gods themselves weren’t exempt from this, as many of them fell prey to their own pride and arrogance with the few (mostly) unscathed Gods being that way because they were significantly less prideful. Fuck, the Greek Gods came to be because Chronos was so cocky he could just eat his kids that it never occurred to him that his wife Rhea would trick him.

In fact, an always noteworthy story I remember was the tale of Orpheus and Euradyice, where a man traveled to the Underworld using his musical talents and demanded to have his wife brought back to life. It ALMOST didn’t work but he was just able to convince Hades on the condition that he not turn back on his way home. Spoiler Alert, he did out of a lack of faith in Hades, his wife WAS following him but he lost her because of it.

I bring this up because the Greek Gods were the INSPIRATION for the Brothers and I’d bet dollars to donuts that Orpheus’ tale was the inspiration for Salem and Ozma. You try to act like you know something about these things but completely ignore that hubris, the thing that fucked Salem over, was a running theme in the source of her backstory.

So when Salem goes to Dark God, and he does fulfill her request, it’s honestly like Salem is now picking a side. Except, it turns out that Dark God actually has to answer to the Light God.

God of Light: I know we have our differences, but I have not come here with the aim to control you. The same, however, cannot said for her. This woman came to you only after I denied her pleas – pleas that would have disrupted the balance that you and I created. Together.

The younger brother ponders this revelation.

God of Darkness: Then it seems I owe you an apology. Allow me to correct my mistake.

No he doesn’t. But nice cut context.

Does the relationship between the gods seem… manipulative to anyone? Like… The Light God (Fuck it, let’s call him “Lumin” for now, I’m not typing out that whole thing) is abusive to his brother?

Considering what I quoted above- Nope.

Acording to… I think it was Qrow, possibly in a WOR, the Dark God (Let’s call him “Ebon” because that’s a badass name, and I’m honestly not in the mood for “Light = Good, Dark = Evil” to be the underlying theme here) made his creations first. then Lumin was all “I can make something too!” and made humans to one-up his brother.

RWBY Volume 4 Episode 8 “A Much Needed Talk”

Qrow: They were two brothers. The older sibling, the God of Light, found joy in creating forces of life. Meanwhile, the younger brother, the God of Darkness, spent his time creating forces of destruction. As you can imagine, they both had pretty different ideas about how things should go. The older one would spend his days creating water, plants, wildlife. And at night, his brother would wake to see all the things that the elder had made and become disgusted. To counteract his brother's creations, the God of Darkness brought drought, fire, famine, all he could do to rid Remnant of life. Life always returned. So one night, the younger brother went and made something - something that shared his innate desire to destroy anything and everything.

Ruby: The creatures of Grimm.

Qrow: You guessed it. The older brother finally had enough. Knowing that their feud couldn't last like this forever, he proposed that they make one final creation... together, something that they could both be proud of, their masterpiece. The younger brother agreed. This last great creation would be given the power to both create and destroy. It would be given the gift of knowledge, so that it could learn about itself and the world around it. And most importantly, it would be given the power to choose, to have free will to take everything it had learned and decide which path to follow - the path of light or the path of darkness. And that is how Humanity came to be.

You misrepresent the show AND got it backwards. The God of Light created things first, then The God of Darkness and Humanity was a joint project.

Why should we consider you at all reliable, especially given how easy it would be to research this?

Like… Does that at all seem healthy to you?

No in fact, The God of Darkness is kind of a jackass. But nice job portraying your delusions as the exact opposite dumbass.

But regardless of that relationship, Lumin basically acted like that one abusive parent who destroys all of the child’s toys just because they went to the other parent to do something that the first parent was callous in denying them to do. Sorry if that brought up any bad memories for people.

More like they took the toy away when the child tricked the other parent into buying it even though the first said no.

Not to mention the relics. Outside of their purpose to resummon the gods, they don’t really do much. But these are literal artifacts left behind by said gods.

Plus, Lumin give Oz an impossible task of uniting humanity. It’s like he wants Oz to fail because he just wants an excuse to wipe them all out again.

How is it impossible when Humanity was united BEFORE SALEM?

Lumin treats humankind as an “experiment gone wrong” as if he’s just playing with peoples’ lives for his own amusement. If anything, Ebon is more sympathetic because he actually listens to their problems and wants to help them out.

Yeah-

The God of Darkness created the Grimm that make Remnant such a horrible place to live and was the one that killed all of humanity.

God of Darkness: My own gift to them... used against me.

The God of Light looks away in disappointment as the God of Darkness squeezes the sphere within his hand, creating a massive shockwave that envelops the world, smiting everything and everyone in its path. Humanity has been turned to dust, only Salem remains due to her immortality.

How is he more sympathetic?

Meanwhile Lumin is all “Sucks that your man died. Now get out.” at best.

We get it- You’re delusional.

Let’s take a look at another set of flawed gods in the form of The Norse Pantheon. Namely, Odin, Loki, and Thor. In myth, these guys were all given tasks that were basically impossible. Thor was tasked with drinking the ocean, and failed. Odin wrestled with time, and was brought down. And Loki lost an eating contest to fire. These flaws and weaknesses in regards to their hubris are part of them.

Meanwhile, Apollo lost a love to Eros because he said that he couldn’t shoot as well as him but I guess you’d assume Eros was the bad guy.

I mentioned this briefly in my “Done dirty: Oz” post, but Oz was basically brought back to cause conflict. Because… I guess Lumin was bored?

Or you know- a second chance to have the gifts of the Brothers again.

But the narrative wants people to see that Lumin and Ebon are “All good. All caring. And all knowing.”

Which is a load of bullshit. The narrative tries to paint Salem as some unsympathetic witch who couldn’t let go. When…

1: The woman was abused and locked in a tower until Oz came to rescue her.

2: She was willing to fight God to get him back. If anything, that shows true love. If you want my opinion, if you’re not willing to deck a deity in the nose for your loved one, then you don’t care about them (Take that, Abraham. Willing to sacrificing your own son just because your God told you to. Bet you wouldn’t see that from Amaterasu).

1. Doesn’t matter. There have to be people living just as bad if not WORSE than Salem and lost loved ones- it’s literally the rules EVERYONE has to abide by.

2. No, she tried to fight two gods because she was pissy. She never tried to fight them until AFTER lying to the God of Darkness and lead people to their deaths. All in the name of a legendary HERO, someone who WOULDN’T want to be brought back after all this death.

What I’m saying is that these gods are detached. Which would be an interesting aspect if the narrative had bothered to show that as being a bad thing.

So were the Greek Gods. Not the point of either one.

Then again, this is all being told by Jinn, a creation of the Gods (Namely Lumin). So maybe there’s some bias in there where they’re trying to make Salem out to be irredeemable while the gods are the undisputed good guys- and holy SHIT!- Jinn’s in on the gaslighting. 

i mean… I still want everyone to eventually realize that Salem was gaslighted into being the villain of the story. because that sounds way better than the “Abused woman lashes out and becomes evil” angle that they seem to be going at.

Yeah and Adam was branded. Guess that means you think Adam was in right to chop off Yang’s arm then.

Funny thing there- You literally can’t redeem Adam OR Salem and keep the other evil without looking hypocritical because they committed the SAME FUCKING SINS.

But given the writers’ ability to handle racism (or lack thereof), I don’t exactly have a lot of confidence in this.

Way to reference the plotline with the walking counter example in it.

Then again, the did call her Salem…

… But also again, they did write the WF plot as that horrible mess…

But they also looked into a lot of fairy tale aspects for their characters…

While you didn’t do a lick of research or else you’d know the shit about the Greek Gods.

Then again, you couldn’t even be bothered to confirm the shit about the Brothers even as you openly say ‘I don’t remember this clearly.’ So what really should I expect?

[dove-haunted]

Healthy Communication in a Relationship

When my boyfriend and I first started dating, we were both so thoroughly trapped in our own minds and different experiences that it seemed as if were trying to contact each other from separate dimensions. Like a ouija board, we could only make sense of a word or two here and there: hello, yes, no, until finally, we had to say goodbye. Yes, it's true. At the time, our differences seemed so insurmountable, that we broke up. Well, he broke up with me. But we did eventually (almost immediately) get back together, and while there definitely are still some things about the break up that hurt me, I think it was ultimately a good thing. It taught both of us some very important lessons. For me, it taught me how to live without him, and for him—well, I think it taught him just how much he cares for me. However, one of the most important lessons, one the break up taught both of us, and the one I sat down to write about today, was how to communicate in a healthy way. In the process of breaking up and getting back together, we took our evening seance of a relationship and turned it into a full-on haunting.   Before I begin, I'd like to offer some background information, just so everyone can get the full picture. He's a 32 year old photographer with a Masters degree and a laundry list of past sexual and drug related experiences. In comparison, I'm a 23 year old on a break from college who doesn't really even like smoking weed and is just now dating my first boyfriend. He's a cynic, I'm a romantic. He has committment issues, I'm always kinda sorta at least casually looking for a husband. On paper, we're complete opposites. And that's one of the main reasons why we couldn't understand each other at the beginning. I think another reason is because we both had very different goals for the relationship. I can't know for certain, but I think, at least at the beginning, my boyfriend treated the relationship as a kind of fling, or at least, not very seriously at all. He wanted something easy. Unfortunately, I am not that. At all. I am emotional and idealistic and incredibly intense. And so he was scared off. But as scary as all of those qualities I possess may be, they also make me incredibly loving, considerate, affectionate, and loyal. When I wasn't there anymore, he realized just how hard it was to live without that. Once he realized just how much I meant to him, his goals for the relationship changed completely: now, he wanted us to stay together for as long as possible. Not quite marriage, of course, but I also wasn't seriously looking for marriage. One day, yes. But with him? I could only answer with a maybe. I mean, I'm only 23. So, while he became more passionate about the relationship, my passion decreased, making me something at least close to rational. And that's because, learning the hard way, I found out that I actually could survive without him. In that way, our intentions for the relationship came into alignment and we started treating each other with the same goals in mind. This is important because I believe having the same goals for the relationship is the first step in developing a healthy form of communication. After all, our different life experiences didn't change and magically become the same after breaking up and getting back together. We were still just as different as we had ever been. The only difference was that we both cared the same amount about being able to overcome those differences. And that gave us the patience we never had before to work through them. Before, whenever we would get into a disagreement, usually because, perpetual bachelor that he was, he would say or do something insensitive and I would get hurt, I'd cry. Cry a lot. And he'd either get angry or get so exasperated with the conversation that he'd give up trying to come to some mutually beneficial conclusion. At the time, it was just too messy for him. But now, because of this newfound patience and care, he actually takes the time to understand where I'm coming from. He also apologizes a lot more, which is important. And because he takes the time to understand where I'm coming from and to atone for his mistakes—well, that makes me act more patiently and take more time to understand him. Because I can see that he is at least trying to navigate relatively unknown waters to him (ie. being in a committed, meaningful relationship with someone who cares about him) and actually getting better at it, I cut him a lot more slack than I ever did before. For example, the other night I got in a huge blowout fight with my mom. I'm talking screaming and tears and slamming doors. Truly atrocious stuff. Well, obviously I was incredibly emotionally distraught when it was all over and texted my boyfriend for support. I told him I'd had a bad day and that I wish I were with him instead. When he asked me what was wrong, I told him I'd had a fight with my mom, but that I didn't want to talk about it. I just wanted to let him know how much I appreciated having him in my life. All he said to that was, "I'm sorry!" And then for two hours didn't say anything else. I thought, "Well, maybe he's at work." Nope! When I asked him, he told me he was at home. So, of course I, the already huge monster of snot and tears, became infuriated by this lack of much needed attention from my boyfriend. I wanted to give him the cold shoulder and teach him how it felt to be ignored, which is what I thought he was doing to me. But that's what I would have done before, and in the course of the last few months, I've come to realize that that's not a healthy reaction to have. Mostly because, if I don't say what's wrong, he won't know that there's a problem and nothing will get fixed. I've also come to realize that, because he is so different from me, he usually reacts differently to situations than I would have had the tables been turned. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just that sometimes his reactions aren't what I need at the time and he, the recuperating bachelor, is completely unaware of this. Because of this, it isn't always his fault for not knowing. I've learned to remember this. So, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I very calmly explained that, although I told him I didn't want to talk about the actual situation, I still wanted to talk to my boyfriend. I told him I needed some emotional support from him, to be told that he cares about me and that he's there for me if I need him, and that, due to his limited response, I was feeling ignored and alone. And do you know what his response to that was? Surprise! He thought I didn't want to talk at all and that what I needed was space. He apologized for making me feel lonely and then, guess what—proceeded to give me what I needed, which was really just a conversation with my boyfriend to distract me from the horrible day I had. The conversation could have ended there, but I wanted to make sure he didn't feel vilified for the situation and that I understood that he just didn't know. So I told him it was okay and made sure to tell him in detail what I need whenever I'm in that kind of emotional situation again. He continued being very sweet about it and promised to change his response in the future. This is just one example, but both of us have come so far in regards to communicating with each other. Whereas before, I would have gotten upset and acted moody until, finally, maybe he'd ask me what was wrong, now I act calmly and gently explain how I'm feeling. And instead of reacting defensively or derisively, now my boyfriend takes the time to understand and promises to do better in the future. This isn't me offering a cookie-cutter shape of what healthy communication should be, because truly, it's different for every couple. But I think the most important lesson I learned and that hopefully you can learn from reading this, is that you should feel comfortable going to your partner or partners about issues you have in the relationship. Although one side might get angry, there should never be any fear that you'll be treated badly or left because you voiced your concerns. Eventually, the two or three or however many of you should be able to calm down, come together, and work on the situation. If your partner shouts and screams and tells you you're a horrible person and threatens to leave, there's an issue there and that person is probably not the best person to be with. It's also important to remember that, although a couple might be bad at communicating at one point, that doesn't mean that will always be the case. If the people involved care enough, they can find a way to communicate in a healthier manner. But it requires work and if one person in the relationship doesn't want to put forth that work, then it's hopeless and everyone involved should move on.