#Emperor Julian

[just-late-roman-republic-things]

So, apparently Emperor Julian wrote what historians call a satire, and what I call a "crossover crack-fic in which the Greek gods get all the Roman emperors together in a room and make them argue about who's the coolest."

This crack-fic has, incredibly, survived. It's about 90% Julian roasting historical figures through the mouth of Dionysus' boyfriend. Favorite bits:

Julius Caesar, Augustus and Tiberius show up and are appropriately shit-talked. (And, for Tiberius, kink-shamed.) Caligula steps through the door and is immediately yeeted into Tartarus before anyone can say anything about him.

Nero comes in with his lyre and Apollo promptly knocks the laurel wreath off his head.

Alexander the Great crashes the party and he and Julius Caesar hate each other on sight.

The gods ask Romulus if any of his descendants are a match for Alexander and Romulus is internally like "Aw, shit."

Alexander almost storms out of the party because he doesn't get to monologue first.

When it's Augustus' turn to make a speech Poseidon doesn't let him have a cup of water because he's still mad about that one time Augustus blasphemed against him 400 years earlier.

The gods tell each of the emperors to Explain Themselves and Marcus Aurelius is like, "But you gods already know everything about us," and they're like "...That's fair."

Cameo appearance from Jesus at the very end, who's apparently best bros with Pleasure in a sort of "sin with one, get forgiveness from the other free!" deal.

[reno-matago]

“Tᴇʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴍᴘᴇʀᴏʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍʏ ᴛᴇᴍᴘʟᴇ ʜᴀs ғᴀʟʟᴇɴ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅ. Pʜᴏɪʙᴏs ɪs ɴᴏ ʟᴏɴɢᴇʀ ʜɪs ʜᴏᴍᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ, ɴᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇsɪᴅᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏғ ʜɪs ᴏʀᴀᴄʟᴇ, ɴᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴍᴇʀɢᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏғ ʜɪs ɴᴜᴍᴇʀᴏᴜs ᴘʀᴏᴘʜᴇᴄɪᴇs ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴄʀᴇᴅ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ ʜᴀs ᴅʀɪᴇᴅ ᴜᴘ.

Bᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪᴅsᴛ ᴏғ ᴅᴀʀᴋ ᴛɪᴍᴇs, ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴍᴇɴ ᴡɪʟʟ ʀᴇᴠɪᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʀɪᴛᴇs ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴀʀᴛʜ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙʀᴀᴢɪᴇʀs ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ɪɴᴄᴇɴsᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴜʀɴ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ, ᴛʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ Gᴏᴅs ᴡɪʟʟ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʜᴏᴍᴇ ᴀᴍᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ.

Lᴀsᴛ ᴘʀᴏᴘʜᴇᴄʏ ᴏғ 362 ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏʀᴀᴄʟᴇ ᴏғ Dᴇʟᴘʜɪ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴍᴘᴇʀᴏʀ Jᴜʟɪᴀɴ, ʀᴇᴘᴏʀᴛᴇᴅ ʙʏ Oʀɪʙᴀsɪᴜs.

[apollon-quotes]

"The Sun’s resplendent deity I sing, the beauteous offspring of almighty Zeus; who, through the vivifying solar fount concealed within his fabricative mind, formed a triad of splendid solar gods; from whence the world’s all-various forms emerged from mystic darkness into beauteous light, perfect, and full of intellectual goods.

Hail! Supermundane king of light divine, and fairest image of the unknown good: For, as the light proceeding from the one, the god of gods, and beauty’s matchless flower, intelligible, with deific rays, occult, illuminating; so from Apollo’s beams, exulting glorious through harmonic power, the mental world with elevating light is filled exuberant: and the apparent Sun largely diffuses through the world of sense, light, all-prolific, beautiful, divine."

- Emperor Julian, To Apollo-Helios

[my-name-is-apollo]

OKAY so I read "The Caesars" by emperor Julian and y'all, if you love Lucian's satires this is absolutely for you.

Here are some of my favorite parts from it:

A quick summary: Romulus (who has now attained the status of a god, like Heracles) once hosted a Saturnalia and invited the Greek gods and the Roman emperors to the banquet. A contest between the Roman emperors ensued, with Alexander the Great called in as an extra contestant upon Heracles' request.

Silenus is the star of the show, doing most of the jesting. But I really like the way his bond with Dionysus is highlighted

And it's no joke, he really does roast these emperors till they're sizzling lol starting with Julius Caesar himself:

Next comes Augustus Octavius, whose entry is so pretentious and pompous that it becomes repulsive

Apollo gets a bit defensive over his "nursling" (a nod to the belief that Octavius was actually Apollo's son) and goes *insert Barbie meme "it's really not that bad! it just needs a little... shaping. To the salon!!"* ft Zenon the Philosopher who casts some spells of philosophy to make Octavius less obnoxious

And it works because Octavius is mostly humble and well mannered for the rest of the day lol

Heracles grabs this opportunity to fanboy over Alexander the great.

Like, "my beloved Alexander"?? It's cute when the gods gush over their mortal descendants.

Now, a shoutout to the emperors who didn't even get a chance to sit in the assembly because they were the worst of the lot apparently. We have:

Caligula, so terrible that the gods didn't wanna even look at him and he straight away was sent to Tartarus

Nero, who tried to be an Apollo wannabe and promptly got taken to the underworld

Commodus, whom Silenus didn't even bother to roast (and he tripped and fell anyway, what a loser)

There are more but these were the funniest

Anyway, the gods decide on how to choose the best amongst the Emperors. Apollo and Hermes have differing opinions on this, but Zeus decides to entertain the suggestions of both of his sons :3 (finally, one instance where he treats Apollo and Hermes equally)

All the emperors talk about their achievements first, then Hermes cross examines them to see if their motives were worthy enough and oh boy, it does not go well for Alexander who is brought to the verge of tears by Dionysus lmaooo

Anyway, in the end the gods vote and Emperor Marcus Aurelius wins the contest. But after that, Zeus asks each emperor to choose a god to spend the rest of their evening with

Ares and Aphrodite kind of just adopt Caesar LOL and yes, Cronus is present, sitting beside Zeus, with Rhea and Hera also sitting with them. He is the one who nominates Marcus Aurelius.

but here's the most crack part of this whole thing:

Like who invited Jesus bro skdjsndn 😭

Anyway, the story ends with Hermes giving some generic advice to the author, Emperor Julian and ending the story. Also, Julian lets us know that this whole story was told to him by none other than Hermes himself, and gives a disclaimer that he doesn't know if it's is true or just a lie fabricated by Hermes, or a mixture of both LMAO

Here's the link PLEASE READ THE ENTIRE THING

[paintingwithlions]

You know, there's a sentiment that I see going around sometimes about like. "Oh, wouldn't it have been so nice if emperor Julian had managed to keep the empire pagan and beat back christianity. The world would be in such a better place if we'd kept the old tolerant religions."

And like... I get where it's coming from. I do think the very diffuse polytheistic paganism of the ancient mediterranean was, in some ways, a healthier form of religion than the state sponsored and instituted christianity of Constantine and especially Theodosius.

But that's... not what Julian wanted to do. His idea was to actually organise that formerly very diffuse and diverse religious ecosystem into one, state governed, religion that could replace compete with and replace organised imperial christianity.

Early christianity was fine. Like, it had issues, though it's hard to tell through what little we know, but overall it wasn't this super harmful thing from the start. When did it become a lot much more destructive? When it became the state religion.

This idea that the pagan, polytheistic religion that Julian wanted to make the state religion wouldn't be twisted in the same way makes no sense. It would still be tied up with an imperialist state. Still used to justify wars and rulers' actions. Still used to control the population.

I mean you see inklings of this already in the history of the graeco-roman pagan tradition. The imperial cult being used as a litmus test of loyalty to the emperor, and persecuting religious minorities so they comply. Antiochus installing images of the Greek gods in the temple in Jerusalem to encourage the jews to assimilate into his empire's culture.

Once religion gets in bed with power, it corrupts. Nothing is immune from that.

[hipatias]

Favourite Roman Emperors (1/5)

Julian, the Philosopher.

[lionofchaeronea]

An Epitaph for the Emperor Julian

Anthologia Palatina 7.747 = Libanius (314-394 CE) Note: Line 2 of the couplet quotes Homer Iliad 3.179, where Helen uses it to describe Agamemnon. Julian lies here, beyond the swiftly flowing Tigris – “Both a noble chieftain and a spearman full of might.” Ἰουλιανὸς μετὰ Τίγριν ἀγάρροον ἐνθάδε κεῖται, ἀμφότερον, βασιλεὺς τ᾽ ἀγαθὸς κρατερός τ᾽ αἰχμητής.

Gold solidus of the Roman emperor Julian (r. 361-363 CE), dubbed "the Apostate" by Christian writers due to his attempt to restore traditional Greco-Roman religious practices. Artist unknown; minted at Antioch. Photo credit: Classical Numismatic Group, Inc. http://www.cngcoins.com

[hexjulia]

this is just ancient Navy seal meme

[ebonytree]

Suffering from Ninjago brainrot so have a messy sketch of the Ice Emperor :] Humans are tough to draw.

[quietparanoiac]

Don't know if you've seen the LP by the popular recording artist Michael Jackson?

Horrible Histories (2009-2014), 3x07 | Ghosts (BBC), 4x06

[averygayplant]

You guys ever think about how Zane's whole tyrannical genocide arc might have been a good thing for him?

No no no, wait, where are you going-? AT LEAST HEAR ME OUT-

Zane is one of the most complex characters of the entire show, and it's largely because he's literally the reverse of "you don't have to be a mythical beast to be a monster". No, Zane proves that you don't need to be human to have humanity, which is a subtle, overarching theme throughout the later seasons of the show that I'm choosing to believe is entirely intentional and not a side effect of Garmadon being Lloyd's endless migrane.

Anyway, where I'm going with this is that a very crucial part of who Zane is obviously connects to the fact he was built instead of born, and specifically created to protect those who can't protect themselves, an objective he's never failed to complete to the best of his ability. It's heavily implied and even indirectly stated that the reason he's so firmly attached to this directive is because it's the very essence of his code and function, and by extension, his sense of self. It's seen, even if largely just in offhand jokes, that his code has a very powerful influence over his choices and courses of action throughout the entire show. Sooo, how does this lead to me suggesting that the genocide he committed that is never talked about again except for in throwaway gags was actually good for him? Well, it wasn't, obviously, good for his mental health, but it was an important development of his character, and it didn't go to as much waste as I once believed. Think back with me, if you would be so kind, to the infamous mirror episode, when Nya, Zane and Lloyd were breaking and entering and bullying a hospitalized man.

We all know that Zane commented on how his worst fear was having his humanity stripped from him, to become nothing but cool, calculating code. We also know that it was subtle-not-so-subtle foreshadowing for the Never Realm bullshit. Here's the thing- Zane's code specifically dictates that he won't harm others unless it's to protect. So, if wiping his memories had stripped him down to his code, then... what would have changed? It's here where I would like to introduce the idea that over the course of the show, Zane's original code was overridden by him developing his own core values and following them with just as much vigor. Sure, his objective remains the same, protect who cannot protect themselves, but instead of being a core part of who he is because that's how he was designed, it remains a core part of who he is because it's who he chooses to be. Dr. Julian's code was replaced by his own little by little- so when his memory was wiped, there was simply nothing there. The only evidence left of his original instructions was what he remembered, and chose to follow of his own free will.

To summarize and organize my thoughts, the Never Realm was a lot of new and unexplored levels of fucked up and caused a lot of questions begging for answers- but weirdly, it also wrapped up a character arc that's been slowly building since season 1.

From now on, Zane is who he is purely because that's who he chooses to be, and even though it puts him at a huge disadvantage, he chooses to be human.

[just-late-roman-republic-things]

My favorite part of the Julian crack-fic post is all the people mistaking a Roman emperor for a cartoon lemur:

[lets-go-hurt-someone]

“Who says I’m ghaik?”

> found on /r/okbuddybaldur. I live for a niche meme.

[savemysoulmyartsucks]

Why Zane is the Ice Emperor

(No I have not finished the season)

There is frozen people and that HAS to come from someone with the ability to control ice.

Time could not move the same (it could move faster) (I have watched enough time-related movies/shows to know this)

It would make a good twist

Glowing Eyes and echoing voice

Why Zane cannot be the Ice Emperor:

It’s Zane, he does not hurt people

[animemakeblog]

“Gekai Elise” The First Promo

The first trailer information for the television anime Gekai Elise (Doctor Elise: The Royal Lady with the Lamp) was released via the official website. On January 10 at 9:30 p.m., AT-X will premiere the animation, with Tokyo MX, BS NTV, and Kansai TV to follow.

[fenrinnn]