#just roman memes

[just-late-roman-republic-things]

Marcus Crassus explaining to the judges why he was so interested in a Vestal virgin.

[girlcatilina]

me as a parent

[diocletion-aint-shit]

The Optimates get their name from Optimus, meaning best, and mates, meaning friends, because every member of the Optimates was in fact best friends with eachother and would spend senate meetings weaving friendship bracelets

[demigoddessqueens]

Happy 2,068th to when we should totally just stab Caesar!! Grab a knife with your bestie!

[politemagic]

ik i've used this before but i'm actually convinced iv wrote this tweet himself and i've been thinking about @tonguetyd's post all day. i'm so proud of him and i cannot express the joy that i feel watching him be our wonderful sexy talented rockstar🥹🥰

[historical-kitten]

Ancient Roman Poets on a Modern Date

Catullus (Gaius Valerius Catullus)

If you meet him before Lesbia, he will be charming, eloquent, and happy to go wherever you like, although his funds could be limited. Even so, he'll make sure you both enjoy yourselves. Theater or concert tickets in the plebian--nosebleed--section, for instance. If you meet him after Lesbia, there is a possibility he will spend the entire time trauma-dumping about his ex. If you also have one to complain about, this could be cathartic.

Virgil (Publius Vergilius Maro)

He takes you out to his beehive dressed in full bee-keeping gear to introduce you to his bees and then goes inside, where you sample different varieties of honey drizzled over fruit. He is sweet, but does talk about fields and bees a lot.

Ovid (Gaius Valerius Catullus)

Let's be honest. This might be more of a Tinder or Grindr hookup than a date. However, it's possible you met at a theater, race track, parade, or seaside resort. If you are aro/ace, run away. If you aren't and you are interested in seeing if he truly is proficient as a teacher of love, stick around. Don't expect him to be faithful, however. And although his manners are perfect, remember that it's an art and a game to him, so guard your heart.

Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus)

He'll take you out for a night of expensive dining and pay for it solely because the friend of a friend that owns the place owes him. He is charming company and can get you into any exclusive club or private experience you want to go to, but will expect reciprocated favors. Also, he turns on the charm, but absolutely expects to be complimented in return.

Sulpicia

She plays hard to get initially, not wanting to be too obvious with her affection. The first date will be YOUR choice. Pick well and she'll follow that with a candlelit dinner and eternal devotion. She does have expensive taste, however, and she would absolutely report you to her scary uncle if you break her heart.

Martial (Marcus Valerius Martialis)

He takes you on a picnic. Despite this being in the country, he'll opt for fine wine and gourmet food. He's easy to talk to, funny, and catty with his gossip. However, he'll also go on about his childhood in the country and how he went hunting and fishing and how he misses the simple country life. (All while sipping from an expensive goblet.)

Livy (Titus Livius)

He takes you to a museum and acts as your tour guide throughout the entire thing. Who knew that your date would double as a living and breathing audio tour? You're supposed to eat at the museum cafe, but you may not make it there before it closes... If you're a fan of history, you're in for a treat.

Iullus Antonius

Iullus is a huge romantic and just as charming as his famous father. He will show up with flowers and take you on a date in a small, undiscovered restaurant and to a lot of cute places that are off the beaten path. Whether you hit it off romantically or not, he's the kind of guy who could be your ride or die. (Spoiler alert, when he says he's your ride or die, he's extremely serious. 💀)

Albius Tibullus

When he falls, he falls hard. He takes you on a date in an orchard. This includes picking grapes and then tasting wines. If the date is before he was entranced with one of the lovers he wrote about, all is well. If not, he might get a little teary eyed about his past love(s). He is polite, sweet, attentive, and apologetic though.

Juvenal (Decimus Junius Juvenalis)

He takes you to an expensive restaurant and makes it clear he is only paying for HIS meal. The entire time he criticizes everyone else in the restaurant for being posers and judges them based upon appearance, status, and gender. His date is not a safe place for anyone who doesn't fit his definition of traditional values. Definitely talks about kids these days and the degradation of society.

[divorcedtom]

[beetlewine-art]

Some memes i did after the new Asides episode, it was too funny, you can tell Janus getting slaped was my favorite part.

Tag list: @roman-can-gay @emobeanwhoneedssleep @dorkyduckling16 @maze-arts

[emoprincey]

Youngblood: Fuck the bard guards.

Roman: Yeah, fuck the bard guards.

*the next day*

Roman: Hey, guess who I hooked up with last night... Noise.

Youngblood: What?

Roman: You said fuck the- oh, you didn't mean it literally.

Youngblood: No, I didn't mean it literally!

[etherealbabycloud]

LEAKED: Tom Wambsgans and Siobhan Roy's messages

[just-late-roman-republic-things]

That's one book for every 2.7 years he lived. Given that he didn't do anything notable for the first thirty, I can only imagine what they were about.

Volume I: Baby Lucius and I Find Weird Bugs in the Road

Volume VI: Best Lute Tunes to Pick Up Girls

Volume VIII: Blackjack and Orgies

Volume XII: Don't Ask How I Got the Money to Run for Quaestor

Volume XVVI: I Think I Messed Up Numbering These

Volumes XIX, XX, XXI: War, What is It Good For? (My Career!)

Volume XXII: Blackjack and Orgies

[girlcatilina]

the one thing i need most on this earth is a late roman republic highschool au. mark antony wearing his cheer uniform to class. cicero writing a burn book in gel pen. cato rats on people vaping in the bathrooms. massive sweater vest wearing nerd octavian and his giga-chad jock bf agrippa. all my fave tyrannical war criminals in hell on earth <333

[diocletion-aint-shit]

When I notice a possible satire of the Augstan regime in Ovid's metamorphosis and the timeline works out just right

[demigoddessqueens]

Ooohh yeah, the Ides of March, the March with the Ides

The Senate said “I am the Senate” and just Senate’d all over the place

“E tu Brute” meets “bro what if we held hands and kissed while stabbing Caesar in the middle of the Senate?”

The event kickstarted by Aya

Disregarding what the Soothsayer said with your bestie

Trying to take power back for 2,057 years

[masquenoire]

>> Pokemon Personality Quiz

Well, this was off to a good start. Roman looked at his result proudly, finding it very accurate for a man like himself. Nothing suited him better than a Dragon, being a natural leader with strong ambitions to take over Gotham and claim the city as his own. Damn right he had high standards and he wasn't afraid to show it!

"Agreeableness is very low? Fuck you, I'm perfectly agreeable when it suits me!" The rudeness of this quiz.

It was only getting after his result that the grumbling stopped, Roman completely in shock at what he'd gotten. He'd expected dragons; fierce, proud, powerful beasts that matched the vigor and menace he exuded and what he'd gotten was far from what he'd expected.

"And just what the fuck is that? A Goodra? Are you fucking kidding me!?!? That ain't no fucking dragon, that's something out of My Little P.ony or some kid's shit! Don't get mad if it slimes up my good suit? You better believe I'm gonna get PISSED at this gooey-eyed piece of shit touching me! Sure, don't give me the badass with blades in his face or the giant Blue Crocosaurus. Even the frozen turkey would be better than fucking Goodra." Roman seethed. This shit was exactly the reason why he didn't like Pokeymans or whatever the hell the stupid series was called.

Tagged ByStolen from: @peranarkia (♡) Tagging: Whoever would like to do it?

[historical-kitten]

Inspired by @just-late-roman-republic-things' lists like this. XD I love them so much I had to try one.

The way ancient politicians escape a corn maze.

Octavian: He has scouted the route in advance and plotted a course. When he gets lost, he follows Agrippa out and takes the credit.

Agrippa: Literally the only one who finds his way out easily and on his own. He was never lost.

Mark Antony: He makes his way through somehow despite not planning a path. If he hits a dead end, he just pushes through the corn. At least once he hides in the corn and jump-scares Octavian to make him scream.

Lepidus: He entered the maze, but no one saw him exit. No one searches for him. Octavian says he made it home and Antony agrees. The fact they agree on this is concerning...

Cicero: He solves the layout immediately but then second guesses himself. As he walks, he audibly describes his thought process, pausing at every turn. Everyone behind him is in agony.

Dolabella: He sets the maze on fire after he finds out he still owes the entry fee and they won't waive it. He tries to blame Mark Antony.

Julius Caesar: He sends flunkies through to scout the maze for him and follows after they give him a map. He is dubbed the first to navigate the maze successfully.

Pompey: He gets lost on his own so he bribes someone to lead him out and after he exits, calls anyone else who had assistance to escape a cheater.

Crassus: He bought an aerial view of the maze beforehand and uses this to get out successfully. After Dolabella sets the maze on fire, he tries to sell the owner insurance.

Brutus: He navigates the maze successfully after he bands together with Cassius and essentially follows his friend out of the maze. Somehow he's the one who gets all the credit.