#Erwin Smith mentioned | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theferricfox · 1 year

Note

eruri for eruri😏 guess what? it’s hurt comfort again🧍🏻❤️ please ignore this if it’s triggering, bc it has to do with physical abuse and sh

Erwin saying something along the lines of “I won’t judge you. You can say anything, and I won’t abandon you.” in response to burns (ones from cigarettes) on levi’s arms that erwin sees, and thinks at first that they’re self inflicted. it turns out that was a method kenny used to discipline him. 🥲

GEE!!!!

Such a good ask. Made me dig deep for this one to pull some stuff I'm not so great at writing and also RIP my search history now.

CONTENT WARNINGS!!! Physical abuse; child abuse; implied self-harm (just for a second); cigarettes and smoking; scars.

It’s summer, and Erwin is stunning in a plain white T-shirt and casual pants on their day off. Levi loves when he wears short sleeves; the swell of thick muscle rolling down his arms, the sight unimpeded by fabric, is enough to make Levi’s mouth water. He wants to kiss his way up and down those arms, trading the electric sensation of Erwin’s skin on his mouth for delicate, teasing open-mouthed kisses.

The sun is high and bright, lending a vibrant tone to the Survey Corps HQ grounds. It also makes it unbearably hot, and Levi fights a wince as another bead of sweat trickles down his back. As is his habit, Levi wears a long sleeve button-up shirt, cravat tied at his throat, and dress pants. He’s dressed this way every day since he came to the Surface, but it has never been this hot; the newspapers are calling it a record summer. Levi very much hopes it is not.

Erwin walks next to him, talking endlessly about the next expedition, just one short month away, and Levi finally jabs his elbow playfully into the man’s waist.

“C’mon now, we’re on our day off,” Levi grouses. “The least you could do is enjoy it without talking shop. If not for your sake, then for mine.”

Erwin laughs in that deep and hearty way that sends Levi’s heart galloping and pats him on the shoulder.

“Sorry. I suppose you’re right.”

“It’s too damn hot,” Levi complains in response. He makes to roll up his sleeve, checks himself, and places his arms back at his sides.

Erwin pauses just a beat too long, and Levi knows the question that is pressing at the edge of his mouth. He sets his jaw and looks resolutely ahead, ignoring the blue eyes boring into him.

“Would you like to go back inside?” Erwin asks. His hesitant tone makes it clear he’s still struggling with how to broach the subject at the front of his mind.

“A shower would be nice,” Levi says instead of actually replying. “I need to get the sweat off of me.”

The men steal away to Erwin’s quarters, locking the door behind them and Levi makes for the bathroom. He’s stopped by a hand at his elbow, and he turns to see that same look in Erwin’s eyes that he had outside.

“I know you have something to say to me, so you might as well just come out and say it,” Levi says, a little more angrily than he means to.

“It’s just…” Erwin hesitates, chews his words for a moment, then breathes. Levi can’t recall a time he’s seen Erwin this nervous. “I’ve just realized that you always wear long sleeves, Levi. Even when we’re in bed together. I know the most intimate parts of you, but I don’t know what you look like under those shirts.”

Levi feels himself tense from his toes to his jaw and realizes then that he hasn’t exactly been clandestine about the fact that he never wears short sleeves. How many times has he been in Erwin’s bed, sleeping or fucking or just talking without any clothes below his waist but a long-sleeved grey shirt covering his chest and arms?

Erwin, to his credit, has never once asked about it before today. He’s always taken this fact as perhaps some other peculiarity about his lover, like his need for cleanliness or love of tea. For his easy acceptance of such a quirk, he deserves an explanation, Levi thinks, though it terrifies him to think of what the consequences of this knowledge will be.

Still, Levi guides Erwin to the bed and motions for him to sit down. Erwin pauses for the briefest of moments before he sits on the edge of the mattress, hunched slightly as he leans his forearms onto his legs and waits.

Levi moves to stand in front of Erwin – now eye level with him – and hesitates. He’s never shown his arms to anyone on the Surface. In the Underground, it didn’t matter. He was one among many like this, but up here? It’s impossible to know how Erwin will react, and the uncertainty has his heart threatening to burst out of his chest.

Slowly, Levi unties his cravat and slips it out from under his collar, folding it and setting it aside on the table. He takes a deep breath and undoes the top two buttons, pauses, and then undoes the rest as he searches Erwin’s face for any hint of a reaction. Erwin remains still, his expression impassive but intent. Sliding his shirt open to reveal his chest, he sees Erwin’s eyes widen slightly, watches him lick his lips and shift slightly in his seat.

Levi knows there’s no going back now. He’s committed, and he has to see this to the end, whatever that may be. So he slips one arm and then the other from the sleeves of his shirt, sets it aside, and stands in front of Erwin, exposed as he’s ever been to anyone. Heat swelters in his face and chest as he watches Erwin look at him and really see him for the first time.

He wants to run. He almost, almost, wants to run right back to the Underground and hide in the darkness, away from this embodiment of the sun sitting before him, his mouth slowly falling open to gape at the dozens of circular scars covering his arms from wrist to shoulder.

By now, they are so old that they no longer have the raw pink puckered appearance they used to, but the ragged look they lend to his skin is such a contrast to the perfect pale flesh that he shows to the rest of the world that his arms might as well belong to someone else entirely. Nearly every inch of them is scarred, save for his elbows, and the sheer quantity of them should still be shocking to him, he thinks, if he hadn’t counted them endlessly into nonchalance. Two hundred and seventy-three.

Slowly, gingerly, Erwin reaches a hand out to take hold of one of Levi’s wrists and he recoils slightly, seized by instinct. He regrets the reflex immediately, seeing the look in Erwin’s eyes as he pushes himself to relax his muscles and lets his arm become limp in the other man’s grasp.

Erwin pulls Levi’s arm up and out, slowly rotating it to see the scars strewn on the other side, and his face twists into something like misery as he runs one thick finger along the marred flesh, feeling the ridged start and end of every scar as his fingertip passes over it. There’s a particularly nasty one that causes Erwin to pause his trail; it digs a small pit into the meat of his bicep, the skin left behind like a bruise that never faded away. The touch of it makes Erwin gasp and those beautiful blue eyes lift to stare into Levi’s, the silver gone cold and dull as he’s struggled to keep his composure. He watches as Erwin’s mouth works open and then closed again several times before a dry rasp whispers into the air between them.

“Are these cigarette burns, Levi?”

Always so fucking direct. Of course Erwin would just come right out and say it instead of trying to dance around the question. Levi can’t decide if it’s a mercy that Erwin didn’t make him say the words out loud himself.

“Yeah,” he responds quietly. He wants to look away, he needs to look away from Erwin, but he can’t. He’s trapped, held in place by the man’s gaze.

“Did you do this to yourself?”

Levi clenches his jaw and finally pulls his eyes away to look at the wall. He doesn’t know how to respond. Either answer would open the door to so many questions, ones that he doesn’t want to answer, and he isn’t sure he could answer them, not with the devastated look in Erwin’s eyes sinking into his chest.

Clearly, Erwin takes his silence as an affirmative because he sighs heavily and hangs his head, still holding onto Levi’s wrist. Absently, Erwin’s thumb rubs gentle circles along the perimeter of one of the scars. He seems to be gathering his thoughts and, as much as Levi is happy to let him do that for the rest of eternity so that he doesn’t have to have this conversation instead, the silence is so stifling he thinks he might suffocate on the spot.

“Can you tell me why?” Erwin says at last. “Why do you have…so very many burns?”

The question catches Levi off guard. Erwin didn’t ask him why Levi did this to himself; he’s asked why he has so many. Thinking about it, Levi realizes that answer would probably hurt Erwin more and that means that, as usual, he’s being a selfish bastard; taking the brunt of the pain for himself to try to alleviate that of others.

“Please,” Erwin says as Levi remains silent. His eyes raise again, and he’s pleading with all the power of the sky in those irises. “Please Levi, talk to me. I won’t judge you. You can say anything, anything at all, and I promise you I won’t abandon you.”

The words freeze Levi’s blood in his veins. Leave it to Erwin to know what’s on Levi’s mind without his having to say a single fucking word. Beautiful, bold Erwin, looking as broken as Levi feels, being this exposed.

Levi closes his eyes, takes a deep breath.

“I didn’t. I didn’t do this to myself.”

Erwin’s expression shifts, so subtly that most would probably not have noticed, but Levi knows him. He knows him so well that he spots it easily, the relief that settles quickly into the knowledge that someone did this to Levi, and the rage of that realization, and the conviction to make that person pay. Erwin’s jaw works, and Levi knows the next question, so he continues to talk instead of having to hear it.

“After Ma…after my mother died, I was raised by a man who apparently knew her. He was the one that taught me to fight, to steal, to do whatever I had to to survive. And when I didn’t do what he said, or got caught stealing, or lost a fight, he would punish me.” Levi swallows thickly, fighting the desperate urge boiling within him to pull away from Erwin, grab his shirt, and leave. “His favourite method of punishment was to burn me with his cigarettes. ‘A very reliable method of punishment,’ he used to say. ‘Leaves a mark every single time so you’ll never forget it.’”

“And he…clearly thought you needed to be punished often,” Erwin says quietly.

Levi shrugs.

“For a while, it was every day. If I cried, he’d do it again, usually in a place that he’d already burned and was healing. I learned to just grit my teeth and endure it, since the crying just made it worse.”

Levi takes Erwin’s hand from his wrist and moves it back to the deep scar on his bicep, pressing both their fingers into the pit as though together, they could fill it and make the flesh whole again.

“This one.” Levi pauses, breathes, gathers himself. “This one…I tried to ambush him when he came to the room I stayed in. I was sick of him kicking the shit out of me, sick of him, and so when he walked in the room, I snuck out from behind the door and attacked him. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking; I was still just a brat, maybe eleven or so, but I had stayed up all night planning how I would do it, you know?

“So I get him in the side with my knife, just a bit and he just grabs me by the throat and lifts me up like I weigh nothing at all and slams me into the floor over and over again until I pass out. And then I wake up to this searing pain in my arm and he’s got the cigarette there and he’s holding it steady, not just a quick grind into my skin like he usually does.

“It hurt like hell, and I’m screaming and trying to wriggle away but he’s tied me down and I can’t move at all, and he just lets the cigarette burn against my arm, twisting it every once in a while, and the whole time he’s saying, ‘Who the fuck do you think you are, runt? You think you’re tough shit, huh? Ungrateful bastard, after everything I’ve done for you. This time I’m really going to teach you a fuckin’ lesson.’”

Levi lets Erwin’s hand go and their arms fall together with a feeling of finality that’s settling into the room.

“He kept me like that, tied up for a week, I think. No food, just little sips of rancid water. He’d leave me in the room in the dark for hours or days – I don’t know – and whenever he came back, he’d dig the scab out of my skin and burn it again so that he was burning into muscle by the fourth or fifth time. At one point I just told him to kill me; I didn’t want to deal with that pain anymore, and he said I didn’t deserve to die; that would be too easy for me.”

A heavy pause settles between them and Levi lets himself soak in the shame he feels at his admission. Surely now, he thinks, Erwin will ask him to leave. He’ll forbid Levi from his bed, only conceding to speak with him as colleagues. He won’t be able to stand looking at this man, despite his strength now, as anything other than disgusting; a repugnant, damaged cur unworthy of the sun he’s been gifted.

Levi doesn’t anticipate Erwin grabbing his arm and pulling him in, wrapping thick arms around him, nor does he expect the man holding onto him to shake with grief.

“I’m so sorry, Levi,” Erwin whispers into his neck. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Thank you for telling me.”

For a short moment, Levi is dumbstruck, lost in the emotion swelling within him at the embrace. His arms hang dumbly at his sides as he struggles to reconcile what’s happening. Slowly, he reaches up to wrap his arms around Erwin, resting his hands on broad shoulder blades.

“You…aren’t disgusted with me?” Levi asks, and he curses himself for how shaky his voice is. “You don’t want me to leave?”

Erwin pulls away, moving his hands to cup Levi’s face and stares at him intently.

“Leave? Levi, I love you. Nothing is going to change that. And certainly not a few scars.”

Erwin gently pulls Levi’s face towards him and kisses him so slowly that Levi feels his breath catch between them. That captured breath hovers between their lips, pregnant with shame and grief, as Levi pulls back to speak.

“It’s not a few, Erwin. It’s two hundre–”

He’s silenced by another kiss, this one deep and passionate, with Erwin’s tongue pushing into his mouth and pressing against his own. Levi moans into the kiss even as the back of his head continues to scream his insecurities.

“I don’t care how many there are,” Erwin says when they part, panting and connected by a trail of spit. “Those scars aren’t ugly. They don’t make you a bad person. They’re proof that you’ve lived. You’ve lived and come through some terrible things as the man I love, and I will always love you, every day, for the rest of my life.”

Levi lets himself absorb those words, so foreign sounding in his ears, and struggles to hold back tears pricking at the edges of his eyes. He leans forward, resting his forehead on Erwin’s, and chuckles.

“You’re such a hopeless romantic, you know that?” Levi whispers.

“So you’ve told me,” Erwin says through a smile.

Levi lets Erwin pick him up and put him on the bed and undress him, and the look in Erwin’s eyes as he finally – fully – sees him is enough to make his heart burst in his chest. Levi accepts Erwin’s kiss, so loving and tender, and finds himself reveling in the touch of plump lips trailing to press against his jaw, down his neck, and across his collarbone. His breath catches in his throat when Erwin lays small, barely-there kisses on his scars, pressing his tongue into the deep one on his bicep.

Erwin turns Levi’s arm, kissing every scarred inch he can find, apparently determined to mark every scar with love, and each touch of those lips sends electricity through Levi’s body like he’s never felt before. His fear washes away slowly, as steadily as a stone worn smooth by the passing of a river, and it’s replaced by a warmth that makes him feel as though he’s pressed against the sun.

And indeed, when he looks down to see Erwin’s golden hair traveling across his abdomen, the phantom sensation of lips trailing down his navel, he thinks that part of the sun is here with him right now. And this piece, beautiful and tender, loving and accepting, belongs to him, and he is the luckiest man alive to have plucked this little bit for his own.

#tw: cigarettes #tw; cigarettes #erwin smith #levi ackerman #eruri #give me eruri or give me death #tw: mentions of physical abuse #tw: mentions of child abuse

23 notes · View notes

commander-hanji-zoe · 2 years

Note

Hi!!! I was wondering if you could do like a headcanon for the vets and og levi squad if they had like a suicidal s/o. I love your blog btw!

Hey - thank you so much! I realise this came into my inbox a long time ago and then I wasn't writing anything. But with NaNoWriMo I'm picking up a few old requests and wanted to write this one.

Firstly – CW/TW for mentions of suicidal thoughts.

These will be a bit repetitive because as always I think the vets and O/G Levi Squad would all be incredibly supportive in their own way. They would all want to do what they could within their power and while respecting their s/o’s wishes, to help. They would be sensitive, they would all also want their s/o to get professional help, whether seeing a doctor, councillor, nurse, private therapist. It would very much be the first thing they would discuss with their S/O, to check whether they were already seeing someone and how it’s going, or if not to see if they could research who would be best to speak to. Mostly all of them would be happy to accompany their S/O to appointments but equally respect boundaries if their S/O would rather go alone.

They would be there to ensure appointments aren’t missed and any medication or practises such as daily diary updates, affirmations etc. also are adhered to – though this will be managed sensitively and without pressure.

I wrote the above because this is such an important and very sensitive topic and one that as a lot of you know, I am very familiar with. I didn’t want to type the same thing for each of the characters so the above is there to read first before the below – it is also there as a reminder to anyone who may need to hear it.

I’m always here to listen if you need someone to vent to, but if you need help, please reach out to your doctor/physician etc. and/or family and friends that you trust.

Erwin

He understands that being suicidal doesn’t mean their s/o wants to die or not be here anymore and rather that it means they’re just very tired, exhausted by the mental pain they are in and Erwin will do everything within his power to comfort them and talk things through. He understands the importance of not getting emotional himself and keeping the conversation going, being rational and calm where possible.

Erwin would want to ensure that he could keep an eye on his s/o if they didn’t live together, suggesting they either take some time away together (in a perfect au reality where he isn’t commander of the survey corps!) otherwise he will suggest you move in with him for a little while just so he’s there for you in the darkest moments.

He would remove things that his s/o could potentially use to harm themselves with but he wouldn’t make a big thing out of it, announce he was doing it or do it when his s/o could see. This would be very intentional so that his s/o didn’t think a big deal was being made or get angry at the response, rather it is a tactical decision from Erwin to protect his s/o subtly.

Mike

Mike knows something is up, he can sense it – there’s a smell to sadness like autumn leaves in rain. Like rot and damp – but he won’t say it for the fear it’ll sound like he’s romanticising it. But he’s got good intuition when it comes to others emptions.

He doesn’t like euphemisms and would rather address the issue straight up, not in a way that’s blunt or unkind. But his s/o is too important to him to beat around the bush. Equally he won’t push his s/o into talking, but he does take it very seriously and needs his s/o to know he’s there for them.

Asks his s/o if it gets too much to please tell him, they don’t even have to speak and can just sit in silence if needed. Mike will encourage going on small walks with him to get fresh air and eating/drinking even if it’s just small amounts frequently, perhaps cooking up a batch of favourite soup so that it isn’t over-whelming for his s/o and certainly isn’t forced.

Encourages baby steps, if their s/o doesn’t feel like doing day to day tasks or small acts of self care he will help but then encourage them to do something for themselves. For example he may brush their hair and then say, “Doesn’t that feel better, how about we brush our teeth together to tick off our morning routine.”

He’ll give them a journal with a few drawings he’s done to make them smile but also so they have somewhere to keep track of how they’re feeling and what makes things better and what makes things worse.

Hanji

Would hate that their s/o felt like this but also would understand, they too have felt the pull when things get too much. Hanji is very protective so would do what they could in their power to help their s/o and be as supportive as possible.

Their way of helping is to provide distraction – whether it’s to involve their s/o in their work and research or to take them for a few days out or perhaps to see a play. Hanji will however avoid large crowds or large groups of friends and be very careful not to do anything too over-whelming, perhaps checking with their s/o what they’d like to do first. If their s/o didn’t want to go anywhere Hanji would force or push going out, but after a few days they would try to gently encourage them to get some fresh air together and go for a change of scenery that may offer a different point of view.

Won’t go to sleep until their s/o is asleep so that Hanji can watch them, scratch their back, stroke their hair, sing, talk…whatever their s/o needs to drift off into a peaceful sleep hopefully free from nightmares. For Hanji they also need this, they need to know that they’re helping somehow, and they need to know their s/o is safe, going to sleep first is not an obtain.

Nanaba

“Oh my love…” Nanaba is so incredibly soft and kind, it breaks her heart knowing how much this is hurting her s/o but she does everything she can to remain composed and strong for them. She doesn’t get emotional or make it about her.

She’ll go a bit over board with buying things to help, from self help books (which after reading a few pages she kind of hates and so hides them), their s/o’s favourite food, drinks, lots of vitamins, books, flowers. She hates feeling helpless but wants her s/o to know they’re not alone.

Very good at late night chats, perhaps out and about, perhaps in the bath. Nanaba will listen without interruption. She wants to know what’s going on in her s/o’s mind and if there’s anything she can do to help. She wants to understand where this has come from, what the triggers are and what can be done to avoid them.

If there’s anything that needs removing from their room/house etc. Anything that makes her s/o feel sad or scared, Nanaba is there to quietly remove them at night and instead replace the objects with things that are nicer and more comforting.

Levi

In many respects Levi doesn’t quite understand and it’s for two reasons, partly because as a person he’s incredibly matter of fact and stoic as a way of life. And partly because he’s fought so hard to survive, after everything he’s been through it’s incomprehensible at first how anyone could want to purposefully end it. But. Levi is intelligent and aware of others and the difficulties, challenges and heartaches that exist – especially when it comes to his S/O. So he will be patient, he will remain calm and not express his initial reaction with his s/o as he wouldn’t want them to feel their feelings were invalid, wrong etc.

If his s/o isn’t up to cleaning or sorting out mundane tasks of course Levi will be there to help out and ensure everything is sparkling and like new. But he also buys a few things that make the cleaning easier and comes up with solutions to help his s/o get through day to day tasks for themselves – reminding them everything they do is an achievement.

Levi can be particularly quiet at times but turns out this is exactly what his s/o will need. Just someone to listen and not react to everything that’s being said. Someone quiet who can hold their hand if they need it and be by their side through it all.

Levi loves being outside and the fresh air – a long horse trek with snacks, tea, lots of healthy mood boosting foods are in order and so he plans a nice trip away for the two of them, hoping this may somehow brighten his s/o’s mood and remind them of the beautiful places in the world. The small things, the simple things and help them believe everything will be okay in the end.

Moblit

This will break him, initially he’ll be asking himself what he did wrong and what he could do better to make his s/o not want to end their life anymore or feel this way. But Moblit is pretty quick to pick himself up from this and realise it isn’t about him and that it is not an individual’s fault. As difficult as it is and as supportive as he will be, he has to remind himself and potentially his s/o depending on their behaviour – that he is not in control of this.

He’ll want to get to the bottom of why his s/o feels like this in a way that sometimes can be a little over-bearing or even intrusive. He doesn’t mean it to be, he’s just certain if he knows what is causing it he can help fix it. Due to his work with Hanji he’s become accustomed to experiments, cause and effect and coming up with solutions. Not to say that his s/o and their mental health is a problem that needs to be solved, he loves his s/o and just wants to use the skills he’s gained to help them where possible.

Will definitely take things easy in terms of the relationship and won’t push for anything physical or romantic if his s/o isn’t in the mood. But will ensure there are lots of sweet, small daily interactions to let them know he is there for them and that he loves them. He needs them to know he is here standing by as and when the support is required.

Will bring back small gifts like flowers, a favourite cake, drinks, a new book his s/o has been talking about. He will also change bedsheets, open windows – especially if the cleaning aspect is something he can do with his s/o rather than just for them. He wants them to feel useful and like they don’t just need looking after all the time.

Oluo

He’ll struggle a lot with this, Oluo isn’t always the easiest person to talk to at first but as mentioned before, once you open up to him or see the softer side he is incredibly caring. The way he behaves, and mimics Levi comes from a place of insecurity.

He’d probably hold his s/o for a long time and cry a little himself, trying to hold back the tears and instead be there for his s/o. But he doesn’t find this as easy as some of the vets do and once his own emotions come out it’s hard to put them back in. But boy does Oluo try and manages pretty well after the initial shock.

Really doesn’t want to be alone again, it means so much to him that he’s found a partner who understands him. He immediately feels selfish after thinking this and probably putting his foot in it by saying it out loud.

Makes big gestures to let his s/o know how much they mean to him – but only privately and realises doing this in public isn’t going to help. Most of all he just wants to know if there is anything he can do to help even if that means giving them a little space, he is happy to step back when needed.

Would perhaps ask Levi for advice and help seek recommendations for a professional that his s/o could see, would make an appointment with their permission and encourage them.

Eld

Eld would manage to stay incredibly calm when he finds out how his s/o is feeling, mostly because he knows this is not the time to over-react or make it about him. Instead he’d want to listen, he may make some notes but it’s for his eyes only and so he can reflect on them later.

Will make sure his s/o stays really hydrated and will bring them water and other favourite non-alcoholic drinks.

Distractions are good but only for a short time, Eld would rather focus on the small every day things that really make a difference, encouraging his s/o and just being there when they need to talk or cry. Is also really good at giving hugs.

Petra

When Petra finds out how her s/o has been feeling she’ll think it’s best if the two of them talk away from things that represent day to day life. Instead, she’ll take her s/o somewhere quiet and peaceful where they won’t be disturbed or distracted. Petra

She’ll encourage her s/o to see someone professional to talk through how they’re feeling and to come up with ideas to help process their feelings, emotions and what they’re going through. If there is anything Petra can do to be more helpful, or any small things she can change regarding her behaviour etc. she will want to know and aim to be the best she can for them – while also taking reasonable breaks for her own mental health.

Sometimes Petra is simply the best person to just hang out with and say nothing, it’s in these silences her s/o finds a lot of comfort. It’s never awkward and there’s no expectations either. It’ll give her s/o plenty of time to think through what they’re feeling and when they’re ready they can talk – until then Petra is happy just to hold them, stroke their hair or just sit quietly reading a book so their s/o has company but it isn’t smothering.

Gunther

Gunther gets it – the world he and his s/o live in has not been kind and sometimes it’s a truly scary place to be. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t upset him and make him wish he could do something to help, not realising that just being there for his s/o is help enough.

He’s a great listener and won’t be distracted by anything else, rather Gunther is committed to hearing what is troubling his s/o and coming up with some positive actions they can take.

He would remove anything from their home that could harm his s/o or inspire any further negative thoughts, anything triggering, anything they could use to harm themselves.

At night he’d go through some positive affirmations with his s/o and talk about all the things they have to look forward to – not in a ‘don’t do this you have so much to live for’ kind of way, but a general day to day conversation. He’s really looking forward to someone’s birthday or that he’s planned for them.

75 notes · View notes

happybird16 · 2 years

Note

could you do “aot characters get their wisdom teeth removed” headcannons?

this might seem like a weird request, but it’s been at the back of mind lately 🌚

thank you! ❤️

Okay so I’ve thought about this at work for a couple days and here’s what I have:

Historia: Cries. Just hardcore sobs about everything and everything. Everyone’s just been so nice!!! And her mouth hurts and she’s so sleepy!! She thanks everyone, the nurses, random passersby’s on the street, Ymir who’s driving her, all while sobbing hysterically. Once she gets home she cries into her cats fur repeating the word soft.

Ymir: Deliriously brags about her girlfriend to anyone and everyone, including Historia.

Connie: Having seen the hilarious videos of people post surgery, he has Sasha ready with a camera to catch his hilarity. Theres absolutely no doubt in his mind that he won’t be a riot, he’s even hyped up his TikTok followers. Instead he’s just so swollen and tired he just sleeps the entire time. He’s devastated.

Sasha: An absolute champ. Doesn’t even tell anyone that she had surgery that morning, meets the entire friend group for dinner later that evening. Just eats and eats unbothered, her friends are only concerned once she has to swipe away some blood. She just shrugs it off and eats a second serving of chips. (I had a friend do this. SHE DROVE THERE AND EVERYTHING)

Jean: Acts all tough but is genuinely scared of the surgery and has his mom take him for comfort. Has a bit of a panic just as he goes under, but just wakes up groggy and a bit sore. He whines a lot afterward, despite talking big game.

Armin: An absolute light weight. The doctors were even surprised by how fast he went under. The entire ride home is just silence. Doesn’t even make it to his room, just collapses on the couch. The pain meds have him pretty much out like a light for most of the day, though he somehow manages to get a ton of books next to him, most of them on him.

Mikasa: A tank. Unbothered, doesn’t mention the surgery to anyone. Follows the correct diet and actually eats soft foods and drinks soups for a couple days, but it’s really not a big deal. She doesn’t even bruise, but does try to go back to school too soon.

Eren: Whines. Hardcore. Swells up and bruises like crazy. He has to drink nothing but broth for days. Calls and texts Mikasa and Armin way too many times during school hours to complain, both about the pain and not being there with them. Borderline demands that they come over and comfort him after school. Tells Jean it was nothing.

Hange: Goofy x 1000. Very confused about what’s going on and where they are, asks a lot of questions and tries to get the gauze out of their mouth way too soon. Spends the car ride home with their head out of the window because the cool breeze helps with the pain. Takes out their own stitches. (This was me)

Erwin: Wants to go back to work!! Now!! He’s totally fine (he’s not) and stubbornly refuses to take the pain meds because he’s fine (he’s not). The entire car ride home is him insisting to be driven to work. Has to be physically restrained in order to be kept from his desk.

Levi: Suffers in silence. He’s a real big baby about the pain and the swelling, but doesn’t say anything to anyone. Chubby chubby cheeks 💕Refuses to take the meds at first but eventually concedes. On the way home the entire squad is packed in to the car, which confuses and upsets him because he thought it’d just be Erwin and Hange. All the kids are pointing cameras in his face expecting something hilarious, but he’s just super tired :(( He just wants to sleep :(( Once they’ve all settled down he starts muttering nonsense about tea flavors and brands of bleach.

#anyone feel free to add on for other characters #Hange zoe #levi ackerman #eren jaeger #jean kirschtien #sasha blouse #Erwin smith #connie springer #historia #ymir #wanted to do one for zeke but couldn’t think of anything #aot hcs #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk #tw; blood mention #tw; surgery #myaothcs

55 notes · View notes

scarareg · 2 years

Text

21 notes · View notes

mirrorsblogs · 2 years

Text

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚? 𝑳. 𝑨𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓𝒎𝒂𝒏

The soft click of his cane kept Levi awake enough to endure his walk back home. The market usually was never busy when he had gone previously but it was a weekend morning. His apartment building was modest but he could afford a lot more if would have liked his pension from the military.

“This will do.” He said over and over even after Gabbi and some of the others tried to get him to move to another area. The stairs up to his apartment were always the most difficult but he managed until a helping hand came from seemingly nowhere.

“Let me help you,” a woman said from beside him. He glanced to the right and noted her clothing and features almost instantly.

“Thanks,” Levi muttered after he arrived at the top of the stairs. He did not look back until the woman kept following him even as he tried to make his way to his apartment. On edge he prepared himself to fight her until he heard keys jingling.

“It looks like we’re neighbors,” the woman said, smiling directly at him.

“It looks like,” Levi voiced, monotone and already over this interaction. When Levi entered his apartment he stared glumly at the calendar as he saw he was getting a visit from Mikasa today. She always gets on my case about making friends.

He flinched when he heard a loud bang on the wall he shared with that mysterious woman. There was a moment where his eyes flitted around the room, searching for the weapon, the enemy, anything before he was reminded of his surroundings. Home.

Levi walked quietly to his balcony that faced the sea, it was the one thing he truly cherished about the apartment. His old neighbors could never stand to be outside so he had this area all to himself. He spent the time simply staring at the color of the sea, still in awe. The color always reminded me of something I could just never remember.

“Would you mind if I put some plants out here?” Levi turned to find his ‘friendly’ neighbor outside with a pot full of some strange plant in her hands.

“It’s fine,” He bristled, trying to get out of the conversation.

“Ok well I’ll be growing some spices if you ever want some,” the woman excitedly replied while setting down the pot. Levi nodded instead of responding and returned his attention to the sea. It could have been hours that he spent looking but he finally got up when there was a knock on the door.

“Captain,” Mikasa smiled at him but he turned away.

“I’m not a captain anymore, remember? I’m the one Scout that got to retire.” His tone was harsh but Mikasa paid no mind to it as she set down some bags of gifts on his counter.

“Old habits die hard,” she gave Levi a small smile as she began unloading the gifts in the bag. “Your visit to the island is coming up soon, anyone you want to take?”

“No,” his answer was quick as he sat down on one of the counter chairs.

“You stand to make some friends, it’s not going to hurt you.” Mikasa sighed.

It already has hurt me. Levi kept that to himself as he stared at his niece again with some envy. He envied the people she still had, the position she worked to get herself into, her life.

“I talked to my neighbor.”

“That’s good,” Mikasa said with a smile on her face. Levi shook his head at the thought of him even remotely speaking to someone bringing Mikasa into a good mood. “Oh Jean finished this for you.”

Levi took the small frame in Mikasa’s outstretched hand into his palm and looked at it through his one good eye. There was a man in the center who had blonde hair in a well styled side-parted comb over but the real star of the show was his eyes. The blue eyes captured Levi’s attention the most as he stared into them. Erwin.

“Give him my gratitude,” Levi whispered, clutching the frame with everything he had in him.

“Ok,” Mikasa paused as she silently stared at the longing expression on Levi’s face, “Why don’t I make us some tea?”

“No, you always mess it up.” Levi got up quickly, pocketing the frame in his coat and walked with his cane to the kitchen. He shooed Mikasa away who took the time to put away all the gifts everyone had gotten him.

“Armin got you a new map of Paradis,” Mikasa said as she unrolled the map.

“Put it with the others,” Levi said, distracted by stirring the tea in the pot. Mikasa sighed and put the map with the others, in a hamper. He could never stand to look at a map of the island, too many memories of past fights, battles, and massacres.

“Historia gave you an invitation for a tour around the island.” She held up the encrusted envelope.

“I decline, you know why I’m going back there anyways.”

“Grumpy old man,” Mikasa muttered under her breath.

“I heard that!” They both sat down at the counter and sipped on their tea quietly with Levi in contemplation.

“You know next month marks three years since it happened.” She ran her finger on the rim of the teacup trying to avoid eye contact with Levi.

“Feels like it was so long ago,” Levi’s voice whispered gruffly.

“What if you came back with me? To the island?” Levi sighed at her words.

“I’m fine here,” Levi muttered.

“I know but then you could visit them everyday,” Mikasa said.

“And live in my grief?” He scoffed.

“You already do.” This is why Levi hated when Mikasa visited, why he hated when anyone would visit. They always tried to goad him into admitting that he was never truly good after the war. That he had developed that new disorder everyone got diagnosed with, PTSD. There was a silence after Mikasa spoke and Levi just stared straight down, removed from the conversation already. His mind was afloat somewhere else and Mikasa sighed before taking the tea saucers into the sink.

“I’ll make a friend, how about that?” In truth, Levi was tired of being alone.

“Thank you,” she said. “Really, thank you for trying.”

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t you have a boat to catch?” Levi got up from his seat and walked Mikasa to the door.

“Just send a letter and if anything happens you know Gabbi is in the area, right?”

“Mikasa.”

“Going. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Levi sighed at her antics and turned around to his empty apartment. The sun bled into his living room from the balcony which he once again returned to though this time instead of the sea he stared at it was that frame. He had nearly forgotten how Erwin looked, were his eyes always that far apart? But those eyes.

He stared again at the blue in his eyes and it reminded him so perfectly of the sea in front of him. Levi lifted the frame to where the sea line was for him and looked back and forth between both until his eyes could take it no longer. The same shade and all, it fits together so perfectly. Maybe this was why Levi loved the sea and took pleasure in even staring at it. Levi decided right then and there the color of the sea was his new favorite color, always.

“Do you think garlic would be too much for this garden?” Levi turned to find his neighbor hunched over some pots. He was about to reply with an uninteresting response until he paused and looked down at the portrait in his hands. Make friends.

“Garlic is a staple in lots of recipes, it would be good,” Levi said, louder than he intended too but she did not seem to mind.

“Mara.” The woman held her hand out to Levi who got up from his chair and approached the edge of his balcony.

“Levi.”

“Good to meet you, Levi. Would you mind helping me decide a little more?” Mara laughed in embarrassment at her cluelessness but Levi found it somewhat endearing.

“No, I don’t mind.”

“Usually Josie would do this kind of thing,” Mara muttered while looking down at the pots glumly.

“Josie?” Levi looked quizzically over her.

“She was my friend?” Mara scratched the back of her head, trying to think of a way to describe their relationship or change the topic. “What’cha got there?”

“It’s a frame of a friend of mine, Erwin.” Levi held it up to her which was strange since he was usually so guarded, he thought it might have been the excitement of meeting a new person.

“Same type of friend as mine?” Levi paused in thought for a moment. What were he and Erwin? Certainly partners in crime but lovers?

“It’s complicated. He passed away a long time ago.” Levi placed the frame back in his coat pocket.

“In the war? Same with Josie.”

“Yeah.” He forgot for a moment that Mara most likely served on the other side of the war he was fighting. The soldiers he killed without meaning or moral were her friends and family though the same could be said vice versa.

“Took too much from everyone,” Mara said while shaking her head. Levi did not respond but instead asked again about her plant arrangement which thankfully changed the subject.

“Maybe move the pepper away from that?” He pointed with his good hand towards a pot on her balcony.

“Ok that’s it! We’re done!” Mara clapped her hands together in excitement at her finished garden.

“I should head back inside. Have a nice day Mara,” Levi said.

“You as well.”

Levi returned to his empty apartment once more feeling strangely more alive. He has not felt this in decades, not even with Hange and Erwin which was painful to admit. He had never been at peace like this, so content and secure in life. Levi Ackerman, after years of fighting, was finally ready to accept stability for the first time.

Good.

#levi ackerman x erwin smith #levi x erwin #plantonic #post-rumbling #attack on titan #aot #m x m #mention of past character death #original female character #levi x platonic original female character #its platonic #the original female character is gay #they are both gay

8 notes · View notes

bluebellhairpin · 1 year

Text

Now I'm thinking.

#erwin with lipstick stains. my lipstick stains.#all over the collar of his white shirt. while at work.#and the people at work dont mention it. bc itll either go nowhere or they wont hear the end of it #nemos thoughts #erwin smith

1 note · View note

porcalinecunt · 7 months

Text

𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋. ♡

🎀 ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ thinking about aot men who’d be the softest doms ever . . .

·˚ ◌༘͙[featuring] ! ˊ 𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐈𝐍, 𝐄𝐑𝐖𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐇, 𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈 𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍, 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐓

cw — fem!reader. size kink (erwin) body worship (jean, levi) praise kink. lots of breedings. edging, fingering, some nipple play (levi) sub!armin (implied)

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ author’s note! : hi hi! it’s been a while since i made an actual post here. apologies! life got busy, but i finally have time to make fics again :D there might be some changes on this account but we’ll see! anyways, please enjoy and feedback is welcomed! 🤍

➸ jean kirstien.

he’s already so much of a sweetheart, so it’s not shock he’s carry that to the bedroom. he’s needy but slow, as it’d be way too easy to accidentally hurt you. the size difference aroused yet made him a bit nervous. (the first time was quite a hassle!) nonetheless, jean gave you the fuckin’ princess treatment every time the both of you would get intimate. kissing every inch of your body while caressing your hips with his large hands. he’d gently lay your down, not pulling away from the sloppy kiss the two of you are engaging in. did i mention that this man is huge? he adores watching you struggle to take him completely, squirming and whining as he stretches your smaller cunny inch by inch.

“j-jean..’s too big!” you whined, watching through glassy eyes as your boyfriend hovered over you, sinking himself deeper and deeper into your weeping cunt. your legs twitch in a failing attempt to keep them open, something jean would immediately notice. “does it hurt babe?” he asked in a groan, hazel eyes carving holes into yours through hooded lids. you could only shake your head as he took it as a confirmation to bottom himself out. your eyes rolled to your brain and your jaw went slack as jean watched in awe. “look at you..taking it so well f’me.” he sighed, slowly beginning to pump you full as ecstasy filled your senses. the only thing you could hear were jean’s sweet praises, telling you how much of a good little girl you were for taking him so well and patiently. your head grew hot as the feeling of his dick stuffing you full began to overwhelm you. “good little girl, always taking my dick so well..fuck you’re so cute!”

➸ erwin smith.

oh my god. erwin. what more can i say, he’s a gentleman in bed! anything you ask for, he will do without hesitation. want him to knock you up? done. want some head? he’s already on his knees. sad after a rough day? he’ll stuff your cunny full until your filled n happy. anything your heart desires, he’ll give it to you with all the adoration he has for you. ♡ even better when you realize how big he is. how he can easily pick you up and fuck you silly in mid air if he really wanted to. even better, how massive his fucking dick is, enough to make your mouth water just by the thought of it.

“e-erwin!” you whined, watching your husband’s face as he stared down at you. a gaze full of softness and love, a stark contrast to how he was treating you. a smile to his wife while fucking her slutty pussy like an attention deprived whore. “how did i get so lucky? what did i do to deserve such a beautiful girl as my wife..” he breathily chuckled, fucking into you at a slightly faster pace. erwin started down at you, from your flustered smile to your breasts and stuffed cunt, every last detail on you brought him closer to the edge. “good girl..my good girl. you deserve every inch i give you..”

➸ levi ackerman.

contrary to popular belief, levi isn’t the mean and rough dom many make him out to be (still adore that levi tho!) but rather, a gentle and passionate type of dom. he’s not the most romantic, but oh boy, when he is..buckle up. this man will treat you like your his final meal on death row, savoring every inch of flesh you have on your body. kissing you from your lips to your clit, muttering sweet nothings while pumping his slender fingers inside your cunny. he sings his praises when he’s balls deep in you, calling you names like ‘princess’ and ‘darling’, anything that fills your stomach with butterflies if its not his cock. your legs are already trembling from his voice alone, not helping the fact his groans are fuckin’ perfection.

“settle down princess, i barely did a thing.” levi carassed your breast with one hand while finger fucking you with the other. all he needed was two fingers and his wrist as he flicked it with a quickened pace that almost forced your thighs shut from shock and pleasure. while your mouth was closed, tiny whines still manage to spill through as your husband’s thumb moved it’s way to your clit, adding to the overstimulation. with his other hand, he tugged and played with your nipple while letting go just to take a gentle squeeze to your whole breast. you’re thighs shook as your orgasms reaches closer and you grabbed the coller of levi’s loose shirt for support. “‘s becoming too much princess? you wanna cum all over my fingers?” he spoke in a gentle and low tone, making you nod eagerly to his question. “How cute, shit—if only I could do this everyday.”

➸ armin arlot.

armin armin armeeen! <3 you already know what kind of man he is. his partner’s pleasure is a priority he takes very seriously, from letting you choose the position to making sure you orgasm first before he spills his seed inside you. he gives you princess treatment even after sex, not letting up until you knock out from exhaustion. he fucks you like your a goddess, hitting every sensitive spot in your while singing his praises. he wants, no, needs to see you cum around his cock as it’ll make the night worth it. he won’t lie, seeing you whimpering and shamelessly getting off to him servicing you never fails to push him over the edge and nearly fuck a baby in you. this man is a keeper!

“t-this good enough for you..?” armin sighed, watching you take in his dick inch by inch until you’ve completely sat down on it. “y-yeah..fuck you’re huge..!” you whined out, grabbed his thighs and trying your best to move while the overwhelming pleasure had you shaking. the blonde placed his hands on the plush of your hips, firmly holding it as he lifted you up from his cock before slamming you back down on it. a yelp tore from your throat, nails digging into the flesh of his thigh and your eyes screwed shut from the sharp pleasure. “right there! armin fuck..!” you mewl as he guided your hips, slamming his cock in and out of you at the pace you desired the most. his blue eyes peered through his bangs as he grew redder and redder from the expression you wore so beautifully. mouth parted open in an ‘o’ shape with slightly arched eyebrows, pink washed over your face with red sitting right on your cheeks. fuck, he was insatiable. “yes..just like that love, just like you wanted. always taking it like the good girl you are. ♡”

2K notes · View notes

cindol · 10 months

Text

The thought of soft men reaching their breaking point once you test them enough.

tw— as always: black reader coded, gender neutral reader, hair pulling, mention of mean attitude before,

The usual soft demeanor and soft smile disappearing once he hits his limit with you, his fist clenching a little and a irritated look on his face as he now had a smile but just left soft looking and more of ‘enough of that now, okay?’ look.

The way he slides the sleeves of his dress shirt up and taking off any watch or jewelry off his wrist and fingers while brushing his fingers through his hair and sighing while looking at you. a visible vein was on the corner of his forehead. He towered over you as he spoke,”I’ve tried being the mature one but I’m guessing this was a ploy of yours right?”

he notices your small nod and gets down to your level.”guess I’ll have to give into your mean acts and treat you how you’ve treated me then..” surprising you he tugs your hair with a painful grip making you wince and tears forming on your tear lines. He had no smile anymore, just a stern look with furrowed brows, no more playing games.

ARMIN ARLERT, ERWIN SMITH,TOMAS MK1, SUGURU GETOU, SHIU KONG, NANAMI KENTO, KEIGO HAWKS + ANY NICE GUYS U CAN IMAGINE HERE !

3K notes · View notes

anlian-aishang · 9 months

Text

Tags: levi ackerman x reader, mutual pining [coworkers] to smut, only one bed, non-sexual spitting, alcohol mention, reader wears levi’s shirt, cunnilingus, penetration, modern AU, fem!reader Word count: 10,000 A/N: thank you to @lostinwildflowers for betaing this! Birch is one my writing idols, so I am truly honored. I hope you enjoy <3

This can’t be happening.

Unknowingly, the two of you shared a silent sentiment. After a late taxi, long lines of airport security, and racing to the terminal only to be delayed for several hours, the cherry on the shit sundae - as he would put it - was the midnight arrival to a hotel with only one bed.

“You’re sure?”

The look on the nervous teenager’s face conveyed the answer before he even uttered the question. Still, Levi knew he had to ask, audibly enough for you to hear - just so you would know that he did. In the face of liability, you had to acknowledge that he had tried his best.

“I’m really sorry, sir.” Their eyes were darting in panic between you and Levi as if you were the antidote to this angry customer. But he wasn’t angry, at least, not at them. Wasn’t the brat’s fault that Erwin booked the wrong room. “I have that in the afternoon of September the 15th, E. Smith booked a single king bed for one adult guest.”

“Two adult guests.”

They shared a lengthy eye contact. From the background, you watched their miscommunication unfold and cringed with secondhand embarrassment. You nearly burst into nervous laughter when they shrugged, “I can provide you with extra complimentary toiletries.”

At his sides, Levi unclenched his fists in defeat, “...We’ll manage.”

The plastic key cards made a satisfying sound as the receptionist slid them across the marble countertop - equal and opposite to the dissatisfaction on Levi’s face. In one smooth motion, he handed you your copy while simultaneously whipping out his cell phone. Two clicks - speed dial and call. Two rings - Erwin answered.

You couldn’t hear the other end, but you had your guesses.

Hello?

“You fucked up.”

Sorry?

“As you should be.”

For what?

“Stuffing two adults in one bed, what made you think we’d appreciate that accommodation?”

Given the looks you’ve been giving each other at the office, I thought you might.

Levi violently snapped his phone closed in hopes you couldn’t hear that. Thrusting his phone in his pocket, he used his free hand to snatch luggage from yours. “Give me that.”

A kind gesture, but irritation in his voice made it confusing. You thought to grab it back and insist that you could handle it, but instead, held your tongue. Clearly, he was steaming. Any objection, even a well-intended one, you doubted it would better his mood. Walking towards the lift, you concluded that nothing you had to say would supply ice to his ire. Though, the walk, time, and your calming presence, seemed to be working, you thought as you watched him delicately pad the UP button.

In the intimacy of the elevator, Levi allowed himself one venting word, “Idiot.” He sighed, placed his thumb and pointer finger on each of his temples, and rubbed wrinkles into his skin. “As if we haven’t already been through enough.”

Today and long before, the two of you had been through plenty together. Tonight was the first time you would pin it on Erwin. All other times, it had been your own selves and each other to blame.

He loved the way you looked in those small pencil skirts and see-through tights, but he hated what it did to him. Meetings in which he could only stare, absorbing nothing. In the middle of a phone call, when you walked by, he would forget its purpose and stammer aimlessly. Nights kept awake, staring at his ceiling, a blank canvas for projecting his wandering thoughts: how you would look with the skirt yanked up and the tights pulled down, how you took your outfit off after work, and if you wanted his help with that.

Countless times, you had cursed the man you crushed on. The way he ran his fingers through his hair when overworked made you want to try it yourself, to take his stressors away - or better yet - serve as the relief to them. On hot days, he loosened his top button. On lucky days, the top two. On his way out the door, he would tug his tie out from under his collar, creating a loop wide enough for you to slip your hand through and use it to pull his lips to yours - or so you imagined. Each day, Levi had fed you tastes. Over time, your craving for him had grown unbearable.

Ultimately, this out-of-town assignment was a test, and a final exam at that. Years of studying one another were culminating in one night, on one bed. The chime of the elevator interrupted your thoughts as if it was a warning: ground yourself. The plain of Levi’s expression and calm in his pace on the way to room 845 echoed its sense: he was unriled, uninterested.

Your read was wrong. Levi was thankful that you trailed him: with his back to you, you could not see his rouge tint, the bite of his lip, or the twitch of his cheek. As he pressed his key to the reader, held the heavy hotel door, and slugged both of your belongings atop the desk and dresser, you admired the way he moved so suavely - when actually, he considered his motions stiff, careful, and calculated.

Neither of you bothered to turn on the light. Taxed bodies, tired eyes, and tempted temperaments shared a desire to finally climb in bed. No need to delay things any longer. Levi unzipped his suitcase, the sound garnered your attention. Immediately, you noticed now neatly he had packed, admired his organization and pristine folds, then planned that when it came your time to unpack, you would aim to shield your messy methods from the clean freak’s vision.

A gray cotton tee - matching his eyes, black sweatpants - same shade as his hair. A navy canvas travel bag topped the pile. Levi leaned effortlessly against the white bathroom door and stated, “I’ll change in here.”

You nodded vehemently, as if he had ordered you on an important mission, “I’ll be out here.”

Cute. And at that intrusive thought, he silently ducked away.

Unbuckling his belt, tugging his zipper, freeing his legs from his slacks, Levi tipped his head back against the wall and sighed. Every muscle in his body finally untensed, he was set free from one cage of many. His business-casual confines had been done away with. Now, he just had professionalism, work relationships, and his fucking hormones to maintain.

His boxer briefs were agitatingly taut, struggling to constrain years’ worth of tension in their cotton threads. Levi looked down to his lap and cursed himself. Hovering around thirty, yet all the composure of a fresh young bachelor. Gradually, Levi hooked his thumb beneath the elastic waistband and loosened just a little, allowing him room to breathe. Too much room maybe as the chill thermostat air contrasted harshly with his warmed passion and drew a loud hiss. Levi clenched his teeth hard in an attempt to bar his vocals, praying to whatever power that you wouldn’t knock on the door and call Levi, you alright? It was just the kind of person you were, and Levi had come to know you well.

That anxiety turned out to be false, for your ears were ringing: ignorant of his desires, overwhelmed by your own. Gingerly, you unzipped your luggage and fret at the sight: a little black nightgown with lace on the hems. Its sight hit you like a load of bricks, lightning to the thunderous memory of your midnight, sleep-deprived, frantic packing. That woman was giddy for the business trip with her office crush and, in that frenzy, picked her sexiest pajamas for the special occasion. Goddammit! If only you knew that he wouldn’t be seeing it from across the room as a tease, he would be sleeping next to it, maybe even feeling it if one of you crossed your half of the mattress. Cursing yourself, you dug frantically in search of something - anything - else to wear to bed, but were rudely met with only pantsuits and blouses. You bunched your nightgown in your trembling fists, but its thinness and shortness allowed it to fit wholly in your hands - foiling your coping strategy. All you could do was tip your head back and sigh to the ceiling, Fuck me.

That feeling echoed when you draped it over yourself and saw your reflection in the hotel window. Your hair was disheveled from the long day. Makeup smeared and ran down your face, eyeliner to eyeshadow. Wrinkles in your silk dress. Looks like you were already fucked.

On the other side of the door, Levi was thinking the same thing: he was absolutely fucked. His erection stood high after minutes of waiting. Cold water splashed on his face, but his fever seemed to evaporate it. Trying to think about humbling topics, but he couldn’t get you off his mind. To make his arousal vanish, there was one thing he could do, but there wasn’t enough time for that. Even if the shower were running, Levi doubted that the downpour of water would be able to suppress the noises of slapping skin or his embarrassingly heightened vocals. Fuck. Levi clutched the bathroom countertop and sighed at his reflection. His exhale fogged the mirror just before he hung his head down and conceded. God, help me.

His prayers ignored, you ended up knocking on the bathroom door eventually: “Levi?”

Every nerve in his body froze. He stammered more times than he would have liked before managing a stern “What?”

“Sorry! I just -” humiliated heat seemed to radiate off of you, “- take your time, I just -”

Half listening, half panicking, Levi seemed not to pay mind to your take your time - stepping into his joggers and throwing on his shirt as fast as he could.

“- can I brush my teeth?”

You were startled when his response was a quick and loud turn of the handle, wordlessly letting you in. Levi was surprised to see you the way you were: temptress dress with a toothbrush and toothpaste innocently perched in each hand. The eye contact lasted for three seconds, but you could have sworn that it was that many years long.

The twitch of your hands and your heart’s lofty goals placed a dollop of toothpaste twice as big as you normally would. Had to have perfect breath, just in case. Not even just in case, you were going to lay beside him - mere inches away - for the next several hours. In those seconds of pondering, gravity began to spill your toothpaste off the bristles and towards the pristine marble vanity. With haste, you jammed the toothbrush into your mouth, causing you to gag on your device.

Levi felt his erection press against his waistband and rolled his eyes at his own stupid urges. You assumed that eye roll was for you and offered an innocent grin. Not so innocent, however, was your curiosity. His t-shirt was tight, leaving little to the imagination. One arm’s reach from an array of muscles, you kept your eyes deliberately on the mirror ahead. However, your doppelganger had a mind of her own apparently, gaze falling from eye contact and onto his chest, waist, abdomen. Without even having to turn his head, Levi could see your staring, obviously more obvious than you thought it would be. With your attention on his lower half, Levi allowed himself a smirk.

Such a silly thing, but was this the first time you brushed your teeth next to someone? This handful of minutes was inexplicably romantic, oddly domestic. Pajamas, double sinks, and the end of a long day. You had been coworkers, acquaintances, and unknowingly requited lovers, but for this one moment, you were husband and wife.

White toothpaste lined the gap between his top and bottom lip, and for some reason, you felt your knees buckle. Levi ducked down to spit, a polite attempt to hide it. Your eyes rejected his offer, instead widening as your pupils honed in on the sight. Leaning forward ever so slightly, you savored yet loathed the way his rejection ran down the pipe. What a waste.

Levi sheathed his toothbrush back in its protective case, a neat freak through and through, and slid it back into his tote. Sifting through, he stumbled upon a mini bottle of mouthwash, making him freeze with indecision: added freshness at the cost of spitting in front of you again? He felt that once had already been rude enough. Levi shot you a side-eye and made an unexpected eye contact: he was trying to read you, you were already staring. Mutually miscommunicated guilt, both of you felt you had been caught and snapped back to aversion.

It came your turn to rinse your mouth, and he couldn’t help it. Levi could have blamed his peripheral vision, could have blamed the bright lights that lined the mirror, but hard-pressed, he could not come up with an excuse for why he watched you then. The streak of white that shot out of your mouth, its wake dribbling down your lips. Goddammit, you cursed your clumsiness and hastily wiped your mess with a washcloth. He knew it as well as you did: he should have been grossed out. Only Levi realized, though, how much he liked it, he was just too ashamed to admit it.

Though his arousal screamed, his lips stayed silent. There was a time and place.

Was there? You’ve worked together for how long? All those years, they never had a time or place?

A long inhale, a slow exhale, his fingers curled underneath the cold countertop, hoping its chill would thwart the flush of his chest. Fuck how badly he wanted to kiss you then, to thumb that white stain off your chin and into his mouth, to clutch the backs of your thighs and hoist you onto that vanity. Your waist in his hands, your sex in line with his -

“Levi?”

“Yeah?”

His rapid response, you mistook it as anger. While the voice on his shoulder was lust, yours was insecurity. Surely, you’re the last straw. Having to share a bed with a dork like you? He’s had a tough day. Don’t make him endure this.

“Do you want me to take the floor?”

A dumbbell dropped to the pit of his stomach. Of course not, but for you to bring it up, he must have been hasty to assume that you would share the bed. Levi grit his teeth, annoyed with his lofty goals. Two slow blinks, “I can.”

That was the last thing you wanted. “N-No… I don’t - I don’t mean…” Your lips parted in stammer. Eyes darted as if the tile walls would whisper you the answer. For a moment, you cursed the beautiful neutrality of his face: impossible not to love, but impossible to read. His stillness was contagious, though, and brought you to settle on an answer, “I’ll meet you under the sheets.”

Ears burned red as they checked: was that selective hearing or was that what you really said? Before his eyes could study you, you turned on your heel and closed the door shut.

Once again, on opposite sides of the door, your sentiment was shared: Phew.

He took a few minutes after that. When he finally walked out, he found that you had been lotioning your legs over that time. Dim glow of the bedside lamp reflected on your smooth skin. If not for the way he had come to know you, to respect and appreciate you, this sight could have been the cover of some sketchy magazine. Eagerness glazed your eyes. Your hands had been massaging your inner thighs, now a perfect shield for the gem between your legs. Levi gave the slightest shake of his head, not disapproval, but disbelief. How did you manage such effortless perfection?

Was that not everything about you, though? The most minute smile in meetings. Biting your lip when you were bored. A laugh so beautiful that it served as its own positive reinforcement, beckoning others to amuse you again. Were you the one?

Or was it the eyes of your beholder? Maybe you weren’t perfect, maybe that’s why you were in his eyes. Despite all the signs of your singlehood - never in a rush to get home, never a mention of a date - he never truly believed it. It was a war of his flawless intuition and steep infatuation. Either you were the one for him, or he had been wrong all these years.

Get in the bed, idiot.

His stride was steady, captivating, as he made his way to the side of the bed. In habit, Levi crossed his arms across his torso, prepared to lift up, but caught himself halfway. No, he would not be sleeping shirtless tonight. Neither would he sleep in his loose and breathable boxer shorts, but instead, stifling fleece. Already, for one reason or another, he was sweating. Upon approach, the layers upon layers of sheets, blanket, and comforter looked even more suffocating. He caught a glimpse of the thermostat, but then of you, and found your skin laden with goosebumps. Lips rolled beneath his teeth, bargaining, but he could not bring himself to turn the AC up while your body temperature was down. Just as strongly, he refused to do anything that might make you uncomfortable, like taking off his clothes, no matter how badly he wanted to. More words would have served you both well, tearing down the artificial barrier your doubts were constructing.

Can I take this off?

I would love nothing more.

But you were both stupid to imagine that dialogue.

Levi slowly reclined back, sighing as he sunk into the sheets. Already, his skin was burning. He combed his fingers back through his bangs and released a heavy sigh. A heavenly trial, you read it as a hellish endurance, and instinctually apologized, “...I’m sorry about this.”

You have nothing to be sorry for, Levi pondered the response, but deemed it too much. Instead, he feigned a disinterested mumble, “It’s Erwin’s fault.”

You, on the other hand, indulged your gut feeling, “He’s done worse.”

Levi huffed a single exhale, his version of a chuckle.

You turned on your side. He loved that you chose to face him rather than the wall. He hated that he even thought of that. You were so close, he could feel the mattress dip between you, could feel your breath cool against his skin. Eyes fluttering shut, your voice was either sultry or exhausted, a glass-half-full kind of thing. “Good night, Levi.”

Fuck, what a fight, battling the urge to kiss you then and there. Your eyes sparkling, noses nearly touching, he had sworn that this was how all the shitty romcoms went, but he failed to find anything lackluster about this scene. His lips yearned to close that distance, arms ached to perch themselves at your sides. Levi redirected that energy to his hands, fisting the comforter hard as he draped it gently over your shoulders, “Night, (Y/N).”

But how were you going to sleep like this? Although you were running off a 20-hour day, you felt that sleep would be a waste. Queueing for tickets to see your favorite artist, only to close the window the moment your turn came. Styling your hair just to go and get it cut straight after. Champagne dumped down the drain. Mentally, it was an unbearable thought. Physically, your body was even more resistant to the idea. Your middle was fucking throbbing. Nipples stood tall against their skimpy silk covering as if reaching for more contact, his contact. Legs squirmed against one another, trying to smother the burn between them, but you willed them frozen: don’t wake him up.

In your best state of mind, you would have recalled the symptoms of his insomnia: always a tall thermos of caffeine on his desk, perpetual circles under his eyes, especially the times you both worked late. On your way out, you would peek through the pane of glass on his door to wave good-bye. Now and then, he would be hunched over his desk, imprints of the keyboard on his cheek - a makeshift pillow for his crash naps. With a shred of thought, you would have realized he was likely already awake, but you were incapable of even that. It was midnight when you crawled into the king bed. Red digits at your side now read 1:40 AM, yet you knew that not one of those one-hundred minutes had been spent in sleep. Coffee in the morning, nerves on the plane, hormones now, you had left composure back at your apartment and you weren’t sure you’d get it back at any point of this business trip. I mean shit, you swore, this was only the first night.

Only the first night. One of many sure to come, right? How many nights had he gone to bed alone, kept awake with longing of having you by his side? How many mornings had he woken himself up with a sleepy mumble of your name, only to find one half of his bed empty? It couldn’t all be for nothing. Now that he was sharing the bed with you, it was all he ever wanted, yet you were still out of reach. Uncharacteristic, the most reliable man you knew was spiraling in thought.

But to you, it would make sense: the only one who could bring Levi Ackerman down was none other than himself. He saw it a different way: you were the only one who could dismantle him like this.

You could feel his heat emanating, could see his sweat reflecting. Before you could stop yourself, your affection had boiled over, “Levi…” your voice was hoarse, having gone hours without as much as a whisper, and unexpectedly loud. His silver gaze drifted to you, depleting the last of your reserves, you mused, “...you’re hot.”

A statement, not a question. In near pitch blackness, he allowed himself a rare smirk. Levi waited until it faded to turn towards you.

You pinched the hem of his shirt in your fingertips, nails accidentally scraped his abdomen on the way. “Want this off?” You tugged lightly, “I don’t mind.”

At the same time, you shivered, and Levi filled in the blanks to ground his wandering mind. “Cold?” His hands brushed yours on the way to the bottom of the garment. Levi bunched fists in his fabric and lifted it effortlessly up, over, off his head - as he wanted to do all those hours ago. Pent-up relief, he thrust his shirt to you and offered, “Could’ve just asked.”

You were right all along. All along, those loose button-up shirts had covered a chiseled body. He must have been curling with arms like that. A pull-up bar on the back of his bedroom door, how many repetitions did it take to get these muscles? Your eyes scanned every inch of him but could find not one flaw. Your lips were moving, but words failed to emerge. There were a million things you wanted to say to him, to tell him, but only one came through. You received his gift gingerly and muttered, “Thanks.”

This was a moment you had distantly fantasized over for years. Turns out, this was even better than you dreamed. His shirt carried a garden of mint, lavender, and tea leaves in its scent. In putting it on, you felt that you gained a glimpse into Eden. The fabric was satin soft and sheer thin. In watching you wear it, Levi felt in the presence of an angel. It highlighted the curves he loved and introduced him to ones he had never noticed before. Brows narrowed, pupils dilated in his gaze - concerned and deviant. The straight cut forced your waist and hips to confine. The small-pattern chest was clearly never meant to accommodate a body like yours. Threads were spread taut by your cleavage, nearly torn apart as they strained to cover you. In his eyes, he thought it fit you perfectly.

Arms finally through the sleeves. Beneath them, your hairs stood on end. Again, you shivered, but could not pinpoint why. It did not take the shiver, though, to convey your state. Your erect points stood above all. Levi looked to you with both pity and admiration, his voice their lovechild: “Look at you.”

You simmered, embarrassed yet teasing, “Looking isn't helping.” You crossed your arms before your chest and bundled yourself together, “If you really care -”

He did.

“- then do something about it.”

Unfolding the quilt from the foot of the bed, turning up the room’s temperature - those were the most straightforward solutions. But Levi was not thinking straight, and he had a feeling that was what you wanted. Slowly, Levi sifted his arm behind your shoulders, when you snuggled in, he sealed his wrap with a hand at your side.

“Better?”

“Yeah.”

His gaze descended to meet yours. Likewise, you raised your gaze to meet. Painfully aware that this was a first for the both of you - neither his passion nor your arousal would shut up about it. At the same time, watching you shiver reminded him of all the times he had silently substituted your needs. Behind on work, you never asked for assistance, but would hurriedly throw things his way if Levi offered his help. When your car wouldn’t start that one winter day, who knows how long you would’ve paced in the parking lot had he not pulled his sedan beside yours and given you a jump? A sharp pang seized his heart in realization: he thought you were close, and now you were physically there, yet you still were not comfortable enough to ask him for anything - even though you both wanted it.

“Y’know,” his thumb rubbed your shoulder, “you should learn to just ask for what you want.”

Indeed, 2 AM haze was shrouding his awareness, too - particularly his self-awareness. Was it not him who steeped your tea in the mornings and tidied your desk before he left each night? He could have - should have - just asked you out all those times. How much sooner would this night have come if he had? Levi swore to live without regrets, but that did not stop him from acknowledging the opportunities he had missed thus far. He tossed you the takeaway he wished he had learned long ago: “Makes things a lot easier.”

At first, you thought he was chastising you. The stern monotone of his voice could chill you to the bone at times, but when you took in his expression, you felt warm all over. His brows were not knit, but perched in a tender lift. His breaths were not terse, like when he got annoyed, but slow and calm. At the same time, though, you could feel his heart pounding hard, could hear it when you placed your ear over his chest. Clouded moonlight softened those hardlined features, and again, you wondered if this was your first night together or actually your honeymoon: wasn’t this kind of pillow talk reserved for spouses alone?

A deep swallow, and the last time you checked yourself. Could he have looked any more genuine? Any more readable? Transparent? You didn’t think so. For the man of few words, this was all but an admission of his feelings for you, and it was the best look you had ever seen on him. His advice, his command, invited you to try that outfit on.

“Practice with me?”

One slight nod, so slight - you knew no one would have noticed it but you. In that, you felt your confidence soar, pulling the words from your heart to the air between you both, “Hold me tighter?”

He did.

“Pull me closer?”

He did.

“And kiss me already.”

Levi could not describe it, the feeling that overcame him when he heard your demand. Proud of you. Relieved. At peace yet exhilarated. The serenity that all was right in the world, yet the anticipation of what he had wanted all along. The nature of the kiss aligned with the latter. For two agonizing seconds, he examined you. Assured by the sight of your smile, he longed to taste it for himself. Thumb pressed to the curve of your chin, index finger perched under it, slowly yet with unwavering passion - that was the way Levi brought your lips together.

Soft, as he expected. Expert, as you had. Initial contact was delicate, the warmup slow. Levi always went so hard at everything he did, held such a sharp tongue, which was why the way he brushed against you made your heart stop. You knew strength to be his greatest, most innate feature, and therefore you deciphered that this tenderness was a display of exertion. Levi showed no signs of struggle, though. Touch-starved for you, yet his lips chose to waltz rather than tango. His hand on your chin drifted to the back of your neck. Nape cupped in his palm, he used that leverage to drift you here and there, allowing him to taste all of you - encouraging you to do the same with him.

Levi tasted like peppermint, the brand so sharp that it made you sneeze now and then, he had learned after enough lunch breaks. You tasted like cinnamon, the stick that baristas stuck in his chai come the colder months. When your tongues met, they created a new taste. After minutes of exchange, they became addicted to it. Their craving demanded all efforts in that search: Levi’s grip pulled you closer, you threw an arm over his back. Breaths turned to gasps, a wordless understanding of all you would do for the other: grab his mail on the way in, walk you to your car at night, and kiss until you were out of breath.

The thought had never crossed your mind, but his actions disintegrated it - the possibility that this was some selfish, opportunistic spell. Levi was nearly shaking with anticipation, his erection pained with neglect, but that did not influence his pace. Each time you thought the makeout might end, he would catch his breath with “pretty girl…” before joining you once again. His kiss was lovely, as was the spark at your middle, but his ardor was gas to your flame, and before you knew it, you were ablaze. You found your body rise against his, pushing off the mattress, and rolling to grind against the friction of his rigid figure. Levi was everything you ever wanted, and maybe you were just that desperate or just that greedy - the fact that you needed more. He wouldn’t have you any other way.

You thought twice before breaking from the kiss, one last deep plunge of your tongue to his throat before pulling away, conscious to savor the taste. “Levi…” you sighed.

A string of saliva hung between you, the clean freak calmly closed his fist over it, and you felt yourself shudder again, “can we keep practicing?”

His lips were one degree north of flat, about as big of a smile as anyone would see on Ackerman. Tonight, just the two of you here, it felt inexplicably, particularly special. “Make love to me.”

An advanced learner, you always went the extra mile. Back then, Levi had no doubt, it was the reason you had been promoted so quickly. Now, it was that you had aced the first lesson and jumped to the next: no longer asking, demanding already. Sentimental was not a feeling he knew, but proof that you were this comfortable with him was indeed something.

His praise reflected that feeling back onto you, “That’s right, good girl.” The back of his hand brushed unruly strands from your face. A kiss on your forehead rewarded, “like that.”

Once more, he pressed his lips to yours, but it was not even a second that he stayed - just a starting point to the journey that was exploring your body. Lips slid to the corner of your mouth, down your jawline, neck, then chest. A trail of hickeys and teeth grazes was left - tomorrow’s meetings and your professionalism having vanished from his mind. His hands joined the excursion: one gentle yet relishing in its caress of your neck, the other crawled up your - his - shirt. The familiar texture of his old garment contrasted with the novel feel of your skin. Muscles twitched with satisfaction, disrupting the fluidity of his motions, but you found beauty in the unpredictability of his touch. Rose-colored lenses were blind to the signs of his weakness, instead chalking those movements up to Levi’s expertise. As you tipped your head back and sighed, Levi figured it was the first misunderstanding that had done you two any good tonight.

On his descent, he could not help but take a stop at your breasts. Turns out, it was never just his imagination, but given your curvature, of course your buttons would have been stretched to contain you. Those blouses had been his guilty favorite for that very reason, but his tight t-shirt was taking a close second. No, that slip you wore when you joined him in the bathroom, that must’ve been the best, right? Blood rushed, pupils dilated, his body anxious for a visual refresher.

You were going faster than he could have hoped. Already, he was proud of you for having graduated to demands. Now, you had learned to act on your own - either having read his mind or listening to your own desires. Levi could not decide which possibility he preferred, but when you lifted your top and perched it at your clavicle, he was ashamed to admit that his mind had discarded all other affairs.

Levi nestled his cheek in your cleavage, and though you were over a thousand miles away, he felt he was at home. Warm pillows cupped him, and both of you felt that the space was made for him to fill. Levi’s breath was hot on your skin, yet your nipples appeared as though you were in a winter wilderness. Of course, he took notice in all your details, and sighed in mutual enamor, “Fuck, baby…”

It was a tone you had never heard in his voice before. Desperation and desire in a man so ever assured and disinterested, you felt your panties drip from damped to soaked. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”

You, too, was what you thought to say, but somehow, the word seemed inadequate. His body was artwork: a symmetric abdomen, muscular forearms, veins that stood against his skin, you longed to trace him as such. Bangs that fell perfectly imperfectly over his face, begging that you run your fingers through them: mess with them now, gel them straight in the morning. You could slice paper on that jawline, could get lost in his eyes. No matter how long you stared, and stared you had, Levi was like the sunset: even after a hard day, always breathtakingly gorgeous.

Especially with the perspective you had now. One hand cupped your waist, the other your breast, perching you into his mouth, eye contact deliberately maintained throughout his movements.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Levi’s tongue swirled your nipple before his lips audibly slurped. “To get what you want…”

Again, the fog of the nameless hours between night and day had blinded him to the relevance his words had to himself. How long had he wanted this? How good did it feel? He had no verbal answer for it, only the fervor of his actions: sprightly tongue and rocks of his hips. As you always had, you filled his gaps: while he could not fathom the words, yours overflowed.

“Oh, Levi… Fuck, Levi…!” your desperate cries of his name made him leak onto the hotel sheets, no longer pristine. Your harsh exhales ran currents through his hair, and suddenly, it seemed you two had traded temperatures. Now, he was the one shivering while you sweat through the shirt. For his fever, he craved one antidote. Crawling down your body, his approach to the medicine cabinet. He prepared to ask for his dosage.

“My turn.”

Huh?

You propped yourself up on your elbows and took a good look. A good look: Levi had wedged himself between your legs. Fingers caressed your thighs with a precise pressure, a touch that tickled in a way that made you want more, yet was strong enough that he could push your hips to the mattress and pry your legs apart. You had to bunch your fists and rub your eyes to check, maybe 3 AM was just fucking with you.

Levi read your search for reassurance and inserted conviction into his tone. His stare and voice unwavering, “Can I taste you?”

Yeah, 3 AM was definitely fucking with you, for this was too good to be true. His sharp chin dwindled above the soft of your sex. His gaze set on your soul. Both of you agreed: his hands had never felt so calloused until they met your smooth thighs. It was a dream you would have woken up thankful to have had bestowed on you, but the grip he had on you was so perpetually undeniable: this was real. Head spinning, mind raced to catch up, yet Levi’s wait was so astonishingly still. Levi knew he would make you feel good. Based on your state, it seemed he was already doing that. Now, you just had to say yes, but he would not push you towards any one answer, nor would he do anything more until you arrived at it. If you wanted it, you had to ask for it, sweetheart.

A flood of thoughts swirled in your mind, each one screaming over the other, you felt you were drowning. In your search for stability, you relied on your sense of sight: Levi Ackerman between your legs. What the fuck are you waiting for?

“Y’Yes, Levi.” You reached down and held his forehead. As you brushed his bangs from his face, he offered another half-smile, but it was brief, for he was past the point of eager. Still, the calm in his pace remained. Slowly, his hands snaked from the backs of your thighs to the sides of your hips. Thumbs hooked between the straps of your panties and your skin. His fingers clenched over them, bringing the garment past your knees, down your shins, and off your ankles. From chest to toes, you were now entirely exposed. At first, you wrangled with embarrassment, but his infatuation was your comfort. Hunger seized his vision, thirst drove his actions. You had nothing to be afraid of.

His earlier route, lips to neck, neck to chest, chest to torso, was now mirrored. Levi cupped your heels in his hand and lifted your feet, allowing him to plant kisses up and up your legs, drags of his tongue followed to connect the dots. Minutes gone by, and even after having pocketed your consent, he still had yet to put his mouth there. Spending time to appreciate your thighs, he wanted you to know how long he had been anticipating this, and now that he had finally landed his spot, he would be damn sure to save the best bite for last.

Left arm wrapped around your thigh, Levi nestled his head against it, allowing his perspective to stay sound on your sex. His right hand trailed from your knee to your middle, and at last, you knew he was getting started. At first, it was his fingertips, and at that mere first touch came your sudden awakening as to how dire your desire had grown. Your hands flew back and clutched your pillow, Levi admired the tendons that rose in your wrist, and your voice, “A’Ahh!!”

He shot one glance up to check on you, but the look on your face ensured you were more than okay. With that, he decided to repeat the pattern of his rubs. Index and middle finger paired as they rode the sliver between your lips, your arousal slickened his knuckles. Once wet enough, he would split his digits into a V, each one taking responsibility for one of your folds. When that friction ran dry, he would return to your core, a seemingly never-ending source of lubrication, to run the process back again. You should not have been surprised, for everything with him was purposed - in the office or in the bedroom. With your interior and exterior in a coat of your own clear, he would have the freedom to run his mouth, no need to lick his lips or garner more saliva. Years of anticipation, now that the moment had arrived, he was going to spend the extra seconds to make sure this went according to plan.

Your glisten was so thorough, looking at you, Levi swore he could see his own weak reflection, the blush on his cheeks, the sweat on his forehead. In that way, his plunge was accelerated: preferring to trade the sight of his unruly state for the taste of you. Lips circled to match your curves, and you quickly identified this as a familiar feeling in an unfamiliar place. Levi was kissing you with the same tenderness he had displayed in your makeout, only now, he was between your legs. His jaw stretched wide to ensure he could reach every inch, from the top of your cleft, along your crescent sides, and to the spot where they rejoined. With his mouth in control, he let his hands indulge in your body, adorned upon your delectable waist, light squeezes of your ass, and massaging the divots of your inner thighs. His lips practiced that motion with a goal of perfection. Meanwhile, his tongue distracted you from any signs of his learning. Slow, purposed drags from bottom to top made your love pool on the tip of his tongue - each accumulation swallowed with a satisfied groan. Levi’s oral was pristine, only an occasional slurp and smack, allowing both of your vocals to take the stage. Your sky-high gasps, his low and satiated moans. He lived for the moments you would syllabize his name “Le-vi…” His “there you go” always followed, implicitly begging for more.

His neck began to bob in support of his movements. With that came a whole new level of pressure and slate of angles. His sharp nose slanted against your curves, lovely opposite to your soft. Your scent and your taste moved mountains within him, and in that, he noticed: his emotional pull was just as strong as his physical. All his life, he had grown to love bitter tastes, perhaps because they had been force fed to him. You were the first cube of sugar to have landed in his drink. Now, he had honey straight from the source. Levi felt his erection press hard against the mattress, “Fuck…” he whined, “you taste so good.”

Breath caught in your throat, all you could manage was a light sigh. As your lips twitched, he generously helped, taking the words right out of your mouth. “You have no idea…no idea -” Levi moaned, “how fucking long I’ve been waiting for this.”

At those words alone, you felt you might climax right then. Had he been eavesdropping on your dreams? How did he know that you had been fantasizing over that exact sentence for an unspeakable amount of time? “Me - Me too, Levi…”

Your admission was even sweeter, lifting his feelings from indulgence to fulfillment. All the nights he had spent awake, wondering if you were thinking of him the way he was of you, your confession was confirmation that this had been requited all that time. Levi found it both gratifying and maddening: gratifying to have discovered that your feelings were mutual, maddening how many years had gone by until that discovery. Levi grew determined to make up for all that time, revenge reflected in the acceleration of his actions.

Levi shoved his arms beneath your thighs, lifting you into a shameless, unhideable angle. Good thing, he mused, no more hiding. Shoulders propped at your midthigh, keeping you perched apart. Fingers wrapped around your skin, he pulled you down the bed and crashed you onto his face. Your gasp was exhausted as you tried to keep up. Both of you knew, though: you were no match. As his tongue thrust to unfathomable depths, you likewise could not conjure any idea of how to withstand this. Nose rubbed against your swollen bud, brows narrowed in determination, he looked nearly angry. Working hard for your climax, harder than he had for anything else, even his own.

Shit…!

If this keeps up…

A telltale tide turned in your tummy, spasms sparkled along your legs. Fingernails pierced the pillowcase, fighting off your impending loss of control. You could not delay it, not unless he - You fisted your hand in his hair, and he thought this was it. Instead, you pushed him away. “L’Le-vi…” a series of rapid pants, “hah, hah, ho’ld… on!”

His tongue flattened still. Between the vertex of your legs, his steel attention rose to you. Not anxious, but concerned, You alright?

“I, I want -”

At those words, he once again simmered with pride, thankful you had taken his ask for what you want to heart. After a few more breaths, you managed the minimum composure to plead, “I wanna cum with you.”

Levi’s first thought was one of generosity, you know you can have - I can give you - more than one, right? But he knew you better, and he knew what you meant. You wanted your first to be with him, and though he was parched with thirst, desperate for the taste of your cum in his mouth, your wants were foremost his. With a deep, patient breath, he watched your twitches slow to still. When the threat of your orgasm vanished, he calmly laid one final kiss to your core, etching your taste into his memory. His silver stare swallowed you down, a mental polaroid of your pose. His palm massaged your sex in physical praise, promising that he would never make you wait again, and that he’d definitely make you cum next time.

He started to ascend back up your body, but you flung yourself forward and met him halfway. Brows arched in shock, his eyes widened briefly, you closed them with another kiss. Mint flavor of before had been washed away by the taste of you. Further evidence of his devotion, you desired to prove that you were just as committed to him. You hooked your elbow to his nape and threaded fingers through his undercut - your turn to pull him here and there, granting yourself the freedom to explore the parts of him that you had always wanted to. Most of all, the length growing harder and harder to ignore.

Still, you were conscious to withhold your rush. You endeavored to slow your pace so that you could match the one he had performed on you. How good it felt - he deserved to feel it, too. You ran your hands down his chest the way rain slid down a windshield. Levi felt his boxers turn wet when your palms pressed upon his pecs, the buds of your hands kneading his tender patches. His exhales turned crackly, his inhales uneven. Laying kisses on each of his abs, down and down his torso, your contact held the compliments you were too shy to say. He heard them and reciprocated them: arm wrapped around your waist, bruises where his fingertips pressed - he hoped they would stay till morning, and that when you saw them, you would remember the love he had shown you tonight

Finally, you dipped your fingertips below his waistband. Sweat glazed his hips, allowing you to slide your hands in, but at this point, there was not much room for you. His erection had taken all his threads had to offer. You spared him the begging, sliding his cotton down his outstretched legs and finally releasing him from their confinement. Soaked in his own anticipation, veins visible, his arc steep. The shade of his member matched the one of his cheeks: the pink of a vulnerable blush, the crimson of ardent lust. As he watched you watch him, another dribble of clear dripped down his length. Levi grit his teeth and cursed. From stifling heat to cool air, that drench turned from comforting to exhilarating. In the wake of his tried swears, you gently cupped your hand around his girth and cleaned him as best as you could, spreading the leakage of his tip down to his base - his shaft your path. Contrast to his stress, you soothed him as you always had, just a different context this time.

It was his turn to cling to the sheets. Hands clawed into the comforter, you watched without shame, enchanted by the way his forearms flexed. Heels ground to the mattress, toes curled in sheets. Each motion was accompanied by either a sharp inhale or short exhale. Was it sadistic or considerate of you to keep pumping him despite that?

Levi loathed the way he stuttered through your name, on the other hand, you adored it. Levi cupped the back of your head in his hand and tugged your ear to his lips. His breath was hot on your cusp, yet somehow, it sent chills through you. Your sex had landed atop his lap, his cock nestled between your folds, still wet from his prior excursion. Pleasure had him growling, the look in his eyes both commanding and desperate, “Let me take you.”

Obliging and insisting: as one, you leaned back and he pressed forward. Your head landed atop the plump pillow, his hand beside it. Before you could blink, he had plummeted onto your lips again. This kiss was so opposite of all prior: his tongue demanding entrance, grazes of his teeth, and bites of your lip, loud and messy. You had cut Levi Ackerman to his last thread of composure, that was where you had always wanted him.

And this was how he had always wanted you: your most unabashed, honest, purest and filthiest self. He always found it so painfully obvious, how much you strained to stay prim and proper, polite and professional at work. It was why he lived for the times you slipped up: an eye roll in meetings, the long sigh after a conference call. Levi knew that the real you was there, and now you were here: in this shared bed with his shadow cast over your skin.

There was just one thing, though, that differed from his expectations. Desire was painted on each of your features, but they were glossed in nerves. Twitches in your lip, rattle in your lungs, eyes glistening, he feared they were tears. You cinched your hand around his wrist, and he recognized that smile. It was the kind you donned when you spilled your coffee or showed up late. Adorable, but unassured, and that would not do in this context.

“You’re nervous.” Levi did not ask you, for he knew his intuition was accurate. “Wanna stop?”

You shook your head and insisted vehemently, “No.” With a tilt of your chin and arch of your back, your lips brushed his with each word you spoke. Seeped down his throat, understanding swallowed: “I want to start.”

Levi returned your characteristic smile with one of his own. Tipping your foreheads together, “You’ll let me know if you change your mind.”

An order or a question? Either way, your heart scoffed at the idea. You know how long I’ve been waiting for this? There was no chance in hell you would change your mind.

“Or if it gets too much.”

That, there was a chance of. It had taken him mere minutes between your legs to bring you to the point of screaming and to the brink of climax, but that was what you wanted. His consideration fed you calm, you fed him reassurance. The flicker in your gaze settled, meeting his of solid steel. You tucked his bangs behind his ear and affirmed, “I’m ready, Levi.”

Fronts pressed, heartbeats matching, there was only one connection left to make. By the grips of his hands on the backs of your shoulders, Levi pulled himself those last crucial inches, and closed that final gap. His tip slick with precum, your slit dripping with anticipation, yet accommodating him was no easy fit. He had spent all that time down there with the goal of making it easy on you, but watching your face scrunch and hearing your voice whine was not half bad, either.

In fact, he had not even made it halfway in yet, and you were already writhing. Levi bit the inside of his cheek and knit his brows, careful not to push you too hard, conscious for signs of your apprehension. You sensed his wavering and clawed his back, pulling yourself further down his length.

Looking up, his expression was strained. Reaching new depths, pushing past your initial walls, his voice poured exertion. Still, he did not stop pushing. Toes arched into the mattress, calves flexed with each labored drive. Each fuck brought the two of you closer. For him, one more inch of his length. For you, one more stretch of pleasure. For the couple, a proximity you had always wanted. Each of you felt a tremendous responsibility to be the one to close that distance.

Repetition after repetition, his muted grunts melted to audible groans. The air between you was no longer saturated by your gasps alone, but his as well. His strain was the only thing that could ground you from nirvana and back down to earth. Despite his squint, he caught that transition: from the throes of sensation to the snap back to reality, all because you were concerned for his well-being. More than any sense of pleasure, your affection was what made his heart pound in his chest. Doe eyes gazed upon him, You okay?

After a series of hahs and ahs, Levi managed just a couple words, “It feels - It feels…”

Good? Bad? Your heart tensed in anticipation. Pleading and ordering, “Tell me, Levi.”

Knuckles tight, fingers trembling, “...good!” Levi clenched his teeth and pulled himself forward with an aim of backing his words with his actions. After struggling to past your entrance, the force of this fuck brought his tip to your end, drawing shrieks from you and shock from him. Strength of his magnitude had pros and cons, he supposed. His flaws, you deemed them his perfections.

The damp of your cunt was audible, resounding throughout the room. You found yourself at an impossible choice: which was more embarrassing, your voice or your sex? Levi’s thought was similar and opposite, the same choices, just which was better? Levi decided that their symphony was best, and realized he could turn up its volume if he accelerated his pace.

“Levi, Levi…!” To say his name came naturally, practically a swear word: the satisfaction of cursing after injury or mistake, so wrong yet so right to scream it out loud.

Pleasurable pain when he hit your weakest points, a delightful exercise as your walls stretched to accommodate him. His eyes remained set on your face, ears tuned to your voice, translating your body language into instructions. Rapid thrusts to make you pant, but only until you started to choke on your own gasps. Then, he would decelerate, replacing speed with strength. When he filled you up, you would sigh and roll your eyes back. To Levi, that was the sign to dial it back up and get you there.

Since this started, his read on you had been perfectly accurate. You were almost there. Simultaneously yet unknowingly, your inner voices warned: you won’t last much longer. The thing was, you didn’t want to, for you had endured so much already. The heat in your middle was unbearable now. Each nerve had been fried to its last end. This sex had gone on for hours, but your yearning had been years long. In your haze, you were blind towards any reason to deny yourself any longer. You wrapped your legs around his waist and relied on your calves to pull him closer. Bringing him to your end made Levi approach his. “Fuck…!” His voice was a low singsong, an adult lullaby. “(Y/N), (Y/N)...!” No longer a choice between deep or fast, Levi somehow managed both. Physiology threatened to overrule now. No, already…!

“(Y/N), I…I’m - ! ” His mind was racing now. Should he ask to cum or tell you he was? Should he withdraw so that you could get there first? Levi labored to open his eyes, looking to you for an answer. His senses of sight and touch told him: you were already there.

The pulsation around his cock, the steep arch of your spine, your parted lips and blissed-out face. The scrape of your nails down his back, ignorant to the possibility of hurting him. This was how Levi had always wanted it: to be the one you clung to, to offer himself when you were overwhelmed. Count on me. The orgasm that overwhelmed you now, that had been his doing, right?

Once again, it was as if you had read his mind. Without him having to ask, you answered: “Levi, Levi!!” Your hands squeezed him tight, white patches beneath your fingertips. Clinging to him, the life raft through each of your waves. “Y’Yours… I’m yours…”

He had gifted you tissues for your crying spells at work, had picked up your lunch on the way back from break, but this provision was far preferable, much more fulfilling. Even as you turned his skin red, even as your legs clenched him and squeezed air from his lungs - no, even better - those were precisely the motions that pushed him over the edge.

One hand clutched the top of the headboard, tight enough that you heard the wood wince. The other caressed your face with feathered tenderness. In that difference, you were once again reminded of his duality: on one hand, a hardass, but for you, a soft spot. Those dimensions were reflected in his voice, too: swears that made your ears burn and groans that turned the air heavy, yet arid gasps that lifted your soul and praise fit for a princess. While your cunt had run raw and slippery from his fucking, his warm cum filled you and soothed your stings.

As you both came to, Levi lingered inside, patiently waiting until each of your waves crashed - savoring them. With a deep swallow and a delicate nod, he ensured he would handle your aftercare. Kleenex from the nightstand folded and padded against your sex. You sat up in panic, worried about the clean freak’s reaction, but he seemed particularly satisfied. Maybe it wasn’t that he hated filth, but that he loved clean-up. You bit your lip and bit back a smile, believing that the sex tonight had evidenced that.

Though his aftercare was doing much for your affection, it did pathetically little when it came to cleanliness. Both of you realized, not even the entire box would be enough. Levi looked at the wad of tissues in his hand, shook his head, and scowled, nearly laughing at the ineffectiveness. “We’re filthy.”

Slowly, you made your way to his side. Carefully, you reached your arms around his back. Wrapped within your grasp, you leaned him back against your chest and whispered into his ear, “Good thing there’s a shower.”

Levi spun just enough to meet your eye contact, once again checking to see if he had heard you right. Three hours ago, he would have defaulted towards the no, always having believed one could not be let down if they did not get their hopes up. Over the years and especially tonight, your optimism was swaying that opinion. Your sound smile and unafraid stare confirmed: after all that mess, you were also keen for cleanliness. In post-coital clarity, he saw how stupid he had been to wait this long, and Levi almost said those three sacred words right then and there.

But this was only the first night of the trip.

And the first day of the rest of your lives.

// masterlist //

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi #levi ackerman #levi x you #levi ackerman x you #levi x y/n #levi ackerman x y/n #aot x reader #snk x reader #aot x you #snk x you #anlian writes #my writing #alias's #oneshot #2023 #smut #salt and pepper

708 notes · View notes