#Escaping into nebulas as it cracks and withers

[sysig]

Sparkly space vent art, breath in, breath out (Patreon)

[foragingstamps]

untitled#33

sometimes, art feels like a guttral scream into a ravenous void. eating every word, and burping every hope; dizzied and drowsy from every voice. we are attempting to express the obvious, or the hidden, or the smitten, in a palatable, tangible fashion. viewers chew, they do, but they regurgitate and spit the food. know only the flavour, but not the nutrition; make room for more automatic, ceaseless, and doped, decisions. it as though you have forgotten every syllable and stutter of the paintbrush and the pen. so pretty; so superficial. you hear me, but are you paying attention? you have read the cries, and you have memorised the lines, but do you understand the symbols and my signs? do you see through my riddle; can you recognise the repeating and the screaming sigils? we are all yelling and i cannot hear anything but the buzz, and the buzz of a bee, and i duck my head because im so afraid of being stung. i have never looked at the flowers. take one thing, and understand it for the other; put it down and pick it up if you're ever feeling better. to what logic are we tethered other than the closing of our shutters; taking peeks of truth and blinded by the light, and taking little pain as one great might, and shutting it all out of our sight. numb it. scroll. scroll again. put it down, pick it up, scroll again. move from mindless distraction to mindless distraction; so much movement with very little action. but are you listening? is the apathy not sickening? how long will i last, withering, always bent towards the ground; to technology im lingering and escape from reality we are conditioning. no seedling sprout has survived looking anywhere but the sun; growing trust in the chance of more confident tomorrows; nurturing resistance from dooming, fatal sorrows.

if a meteor came to take our fates, we wouldn't see it with the crane of our necks towards the sky, but in a crane towards our screens and our feet and the dirt—the place of our demise. our body's dialect speaks for our crimes, and for the sand in the hourglass that is always losing time. і can spout every language from my tongue like stars from nebulae but you will only see vanity that dulls the mind. a tomb is comfortable because it is the last place you'll ever lie; an uninterrupted slumber that erupts into new life—every existence only but the former's dream, and every destiny is truly but absurdity. this tomb is comfortable because you mustn't move; mustn't do. we have made ourselves into our beds, wound our heads into the sheets and the pillows and watched the mirage of a world without ever truly witnessing it. a dream within a dream; an escape within a hallucination. i will be here waiting; not quite sure what for, but endlessly discovering novel ways our world's been scorned. the foundation is being torn, and we are so preoccupied with inspecting every little crack that we will never suspect its widening attack. down, down, down; into a chasm full of frowns. victims and undoings and consequences ensuing; angry, irritated, fuming. point a finger, avoid the news, find something else to consume. maybe i'll see you again, one scroll away, soon.

[thelordstears]

I wrote some more, because I, am an addict

“ In this world I've met some sorrowed souls, one of 'em stands in my mind like a candle, flickerin' lights of his mercy dyin' in my heart, and as he stares me down with madness filled eyes and a heart sick 'a trouble and decay, will he gun an old friend down all for vengeance on the man who broke all 'a us? “ - Quint Sanfield

“ I'm just an outcast lookin' for his heart, and as I travel this strange and mysterious land, I must wonder if my heart lays underneath foreign soils, cause as I dig my hands inta the soil of my hurt, I don't find anything but trouble and the decaying corpse of me. “ - Quint Sanfield

“ I'll keep on keepin' on like a sorrowed ghost train, findin' passengers along the railroad of my heart, and, maybe findin' a couple more people like me. People who understand the depths of secrets and trouble, perhaps I can be a lil less transparent with people who understand me, with people who also know what death tastes like on their heart." - Quint Sanfield

"If God loves all, does he look at the sinner who bleeds the river red with a gentle and forgiving smile? I can't help but wonder if he looks at me with something sorrowful swimming in his ethereal eyes, because as I tremble under a cruel man's trigger, I stain the river of my heart with unholy colors and sinful strokes of a brush.” - Jonah Worthshein

“ I met a man with death and cruelty lurking like ticking time bombs in his heart, and as he struck me down with his cane of trouble and told me to weep the mercy from my eyes, I succumbed. “ - Jonah Worthshein

“ There's pain beating inside my heart, and I know there always will be, because my hero, he's gone, and somedays I don't know how to go on without him. He was my brother, and as he became nothing but a missing poster in my mind, I wondered what I would do with his tattered cape. Somedays I hold it close to my chest and weep into it, for it holds questions I'll never find the answers too. But whenever that pain comes crashing down on me, my daughter picks me right up and tells me that I'm her hero, and I always will be. “ - Faymeline Borealis

“ My friend, I am insanity in an unwell mind, bursting with colors that shouldn't exist.” - Burns Mataugh

“ We are pioneers of madness following our Queen through the echoes of the night, for she saved us from the slow and insidious killer that is sanity. She stands tall and lean like a madness filled revolver, and as she kills peace, you must know its grave has been long overdue. “ - Burns Mataugh

“ The tranquility of succumbing to your beastly nature is like no other feeling I have ever felt, and as I stand here like an ill begotten question, sipping on a stream of crimson stained melodies and secrets, I know I would never yearn to be the sheep again. “ - Burns Mataugh

“ I once asked the world who it wanted me to be, and as I sat at the stream, madness seeping through my veins, I saw the reflection of God in the lake, and to me, he looked like a lonesome beast of sorrow." - Burns Mataugh

“ I'm just a washed up and broken dream wondering why all his childhood wonder turned into nightmares, stars imploding in his mind, cause damn, it's just a galaxy colored the shade of the nebula. “ - Brooke Bermgeir

“ They're always like, oh, you gotta be a boy, you gotta be a girl, but fuck that, I wanna be myself. “ - Skyler Syndicate

“ My families memory is like a cigarette against my lip, because all it does nowadays is kill me slowly with things I'll never have again. “ - Connie Averfollow

“ My mind is a panic room, the walls are etched in names I never wanna forget and faces I'll always miss, and as I cower in the corner my darkest fears come for me with eyes I used to see everyday, her eyes haunt me, her smiles have become a graveyard in my haunted little heart. And as I sink into my blankets and smoke another cigarette I pray that life will give me my lover's fate as my head hits the pillow." - Connie Averfollow

“ I don't know how humanity managed to become an enemy to itself, but damn, ain't it a shame we're losing the fucking war?" - Larry Devendra

“ People are always tellin' me I'm digging my own damn grave, but don't they realize it ain't my name etched on the stone?” - Zane Harrenburrow

“ It's kill or be killed these days, and regretfully I still breathe. “ - Rolft Van Gaver

“ I just wanna live despite the death in me." - Rolft Van Gaver

“ I, am where dreams go to die my friend.” - Moores Thomas

“ I'm a sinful bastard with a heart rotted bared on his extravagant sleeve, do you think a heart could possibly survive madness? It rotted, withered and decayed as I sputtered up blinding red lights and salvation.” - Moores Thomas

“ You'll live, but you won't survive. “ - Moores Thomas

“ Sometimes, we just gotta raise our fists instead of our white flag.” - Hunter Shallows

“ There's a garden 'a decay in my mind, two roses standin' tall, but all the others 'ave become black petaled ghosts, but I visit that garden if only ta see my roses still painted red. “ - Saria Romiro

“ We've both seen Hell in the eyes of people who were supposed to love us, but we found Heaven in each other's love. “ - Riell Romiro

“ I try my best, to stand tall, but somedays I'm struck down by the sorrow I feel and I can hardly reach the other side of paradise. Because in truth, my son's ghost still haunts me. He's in the corners of my memory, asking me why I didn't find him, and I give a regretful smile and say I tried my best. “ - Riell Romiro

“ I have met darkness in the eyes of a banshee, standing tall over me like a shadow that shrieks into my broken mind that I won't make it out of this darkness alive. But I take a fragile step forward and fix my little bowtie, knowing that the cruelty I've met is not me, but rather what I have seen. “ - Harlem Peixoto

“ These secrets in me hide deep within my cracked ribcage, nesting, waiting to blossom like a rose grenade, the shrapnel of lies and shadow splitting my heart in two. “ - Harlem Peixoto

“ My hands are stained in mystery, and as my mind brews up questions like it were some witches cauldron full of answers, I get to wondering how many of the people I searched for are still out there. “ - Harlem Peixoto

“ At some point, life presents you with a fork in the road, and which path you take determines who you'll be, one path leads to who you're supposed to be, kind, gentle, whole in some beautiful way, but the other path gives you things, but it also corrupts your heart and turns you into a wicked beast with cruelty living deep inside his troubled heart. Be careful when hate and cruelty whispers in your ear that you do not become these things. “ - Solomon Bones

“ My brother has always had my back, man. He's been there for me, he's kind of, my hero, ya know? He doesn't wear a cape fluttering in the breeze and he doesn't have laser eyes, he has burdens, he has scars, but most importantly, he has a kind heart. And that's what makes a hero in this broken world. “ - Solmon Bones

“ They've both seen the Hell of war, it drips down the notches 'a their spines and whispers lies inta their hearts, cause mate, war never leaves the innocent soul be. It's a beast draped in crimson, fur drippin' with innocence and forgotten men lyin' in freshly dug graves. When it smiles, ya see it's rifle fangs and bullet tongue, and as it charges, it leaves all soldier's ghosts 'a who they were. “ - Fallows Diamond

“ Mate, I've seen death in the shadows 'a graves that neva' shoulda been, I seen cruelty lyin' in the eye of a man with venom drippin' from the corner 'a his eyes. 'E was a slitherin' serpent in the garden 'a my mercy, firin' bullets inta me peace and askin' it ta bleed for all he'd done. And so, with regret, I say there ain't no peace in me heart. “ - Fallows Diamond

“ She stands in my mind like a howling regret, scratching at the confines of my skull to escape my memory, because she was my fuckin' hero, man. “ - Tristy Alden

“ I can still remember Sasha's gentle eyes, her heart worn on a cotton sleeved sweater, her heart beat was a melody I could listen too forever. I know sometimes I made it a struggle to love me, but no matter what, she was always.. there for me, and sometimes I wonder if I fucked it up. I hope she knows that I love her, even if we've been separated because of life's trickery and deceit. “ - Debrah Sabbatino

“ If you look at the pages of a history book you'll find me, stained in the bloodied ink, etched into the stones of war and cruelty. “ - Veltrexen

“ I have watched the kind fall through the scorching skies as people clapped and cheered for the death of the good hearted rabbits. And as I pull a top hat from the back room, I look for rabbits inside but I'm always pulling my sins from a hat and wondering if the innocence has left me behind in the dust of my cruelty. “ - Ellsworth Davis

“ I was just a girl looking for trouble in the ashen cigarette and love with a boy who wouldn't remember my name next Summer. “ - Carrie Hackenwood

“ I am not crazy, I would not quite put it that way. I am mad, I am twisted, I am broken, some extant form of Wyatt Demouchett. From the corners of my cracked ribcage, a beast started to roam, and ever so slowly he tore pieces from my heart to eat from, for a starving heart will always find itself in the maw of the ribcage.” - Wyatt Demouchett

“ My mind is a prison of thoughts and memories, and as I try and rip myself away from the confines of my skull I realize I can never rip this mind from me, for if I were to do such a thing, I would die in an empty prison cell. “ - Wyatt Demouchett

“ I am scalded flesh upon the battlefield, rusted bones in the grave of a boy I no longer am. “ - Wyatt Demouchett

“ If ya look deep inside my eyes you'll find little reflection 'a who I ain't creepin' about, little sorrows in the corners of my pupils, sitting there like dogs starvin' on a chain. “ - Sandro Colorfeid

“ Ya know, people are always saying I'm a hero, I saved so many god damn lives, but the way I see it, there's too many I didn't save to be considered any sort of hero. I sit here in the silence of my mind, sparking up cigarettes and memories, wondering how many bastards and cheats went right under my damn sniffer. Maybe a hundred, maybe only two, but even two bad men out in the wild can make a difference, huh? “ - Sandro Colorfeid

“ I'm starving bones looking for a grave that ain't never been dug wondering if this lonesome ghost is all I can ever be. “ - Sandro Colorfeid

"Humanity lost its fight against evil the day they gave it a name. “ - Zalrifear Dellrick

“ I am no longer tethered to humanity.” - Zalrifear Dellrick

“ I'm a crimson fucking bullet soaring towards all who wronged me and all who didn't, I'm insanity flying on wings of wax and loss. “ - Harvin Scoviney

“ The sane man just don't survive the insane one's wrath.” - Harvin Scoviney

“ I'm living like a landmine, whosoever steps on me is gonna feel that shrapnel dig into their fragile skin, and trust me, the sight won't be so pretty. “ - Harvin Scoviney

“ I'm a ticking time bomb and you best hope you ain't near me when I burst, cuz when I do, it's gonna be an explosion of broken bones and bloodied faces strewn about the concrete of my fucking rage. “ - Harvin Scoviney

“ Ya can yell for the boy I was, but he's buried in a pinewood box and brother, he's just charred bones in a casket. “ - Harvin Scoviney

“ Don't say I don' got what it takes to make it in this life without knowin' my damn past. “ - Carolann Tresparo

“ I'm old, I've seen just 'bout every sorrow there is ta see in this broken man's land, and as I spark up another old cigarette, smokin' away my lifespan with sparks in my dusty ribcage I getsa wonderin' when this ol' man will finally find himself a bit of peace. “ - Rayburn Manski

“ Ya know how it is, ya break a couple times, ya fall from yourself and wonder who the hell ya's sposed ta be, but eventually ya find the peace ya seek. But I'm different. I'm just a gambling man with his wicked little heart worn on a broken sleeve, wondering if these casino chips and blinding lights is all he could ever be. In truth, I don't know me, just who I used ta be. “ - Rayburn Manski

“ Don't pray for me, I don' missed out on every opportunity ta confess, I'm just sittin' on this old bench with a cigarette on my lip, smoke driftin' around me as I ponder on where I'll go when I die. “ - Rayburn Manski

“ I'm a ghost of who God wanted me to be.” - Hayton Mathers

“ Do you ever feel like, maybe you're a promise that's been broken by the Gods? They vowed to love you, vowed to be by your side, but life washed on by and scattered your pieces into the sand, so much so that they could no longer find who you were supposed to be? “ - Else Serafin

"Peace doesn't die, man, it just hides from the chaos sometimes. We just gotta wait for it to feel comfortable in the open, because honestly, chaos leaves a whisper in the wind, some sort of after noise of what happened to you.” - Aaron Crinklewick

“ That man stands lean like a vulture, and instead of the flapping of wings he's got the whinnying of a decaying and black horse, rusted hatchet strapped to his dusty black coat like an omen of what he'll do. “ - Allison Diamond

“ I met a man in the streetlights, he stood tall and lean like a flickering omen of death, and as he offered me his hand, to walk away with me to a place where all the freaks and wolves can be themselves, I put on a smile and found myself a family in the lights of the damning circus. I have since died. But I like the way this grave feels. “ - Zayleen Bevessa

“ He is a silent wolf, jaws gnashing at those who think they can escape the destiny of a circus soul. Together, we are the wolves of tomorrow, gnashing our jaws at the innocent with smiles of crimson and doll like features of cruelty. “ - Zayleen Bevessa

"Beauty knew my name, once. But since then it has withered. “ - Nishi Masago

“ I am a butterfly and a wasp wrapped into one vessel of anger and love that can bleed and fight, so when all my enemies come towards me with grins of sin and blades of death, I shall let my blade fall to my side and do the work for me. “ - Nishi Masago

“ I sit here like a forgotten candle 'a wax, my flame long since passed wonderin' why I didn't find myself in the essence 'a heroism. “ - Danya Cruz

“ In truth, I'm just a kid, my body grew up, but my heart is still just as young as it was thirty years ago. “ - Sametha Springton

“ I don't wanna never ending life, because in truth, I don't think I'd like what humanity would do with eternity.” - Sametha Springton

“ I've seen pain in snapshot crime scene photos and blood spilt on the streets I'd hear about in the news and weep over, but as Charlotte smiles and tells me the past is the past, I know I've got a wonderful future with her. “ - Oscar Forbes

“ I'm just a bullet casing washed to shore, waiting for somebody to pick me up and awe at the used up violence they've found nestled inside the cracks of a rock.” - Asher Broquel

“ I once swore an oath, that I'd protect the people. And I did, but did I ever think about protecting myself? Or was I so wrapped up in the thought that everyone else was a person but me, that I let myself bleed into someone that isn't really me? “ - Asher Broquel

“ Humanity is always growing and changing as flowers do each season, sometimes we're daffodils swaying in the wind, other days we're wilted roses with nothing but thorns, and somedays we're just a regretful weed, shivering in the cracks of the concrete. But all it took to make a flower beautiful was some water and light, and so as the sun rises and it begins to rain, can't you see we're meant to grow during this storm? We're not decaying, we're just growing from out this storm's soil." - Audrey Killva

“ Ya know, I met death in the eyes of a man with cruelty lurking in his veins, ribcage beating empty, his chest an empty night sky of the void. And as he told me I'd never be the same once I met him, he sure was right, huh? Cause as my son was ripped from this world, I knew a scar would be left on my heart like a threadwork patch of memories and sorrows I'd always know. “ - Barry Bosnia

“ She's a beacon of hope in a world so dark, and as her light shimmers like a star in the sky, I know there's a chance humanity will win its war against the dark. “ - Thituna

“ My heart is a lonely little ghost town, filled with cobwebs and dust, old decaying drawings of people I knew hung up on the hallways walls. And as I trace my fingers over the threadwork scar of memories in my mind, I come to realize I'm just another scar in my own heart. “ - Scarlet Westfield

“ I am a cold water sin, dripping from the corners of your eyes and bleeding from the edges of your spine. “ - Devella Minstreiva

“ I, am a woman of the night, dancing so elegantly in the cruel light of the pale moon, sinning as Devil's do. The scared little girl I was is begging me to stop, begging me to turn back, but with a smile stained red, I keep forward on this path of broken bones that are never my own. “ - Devella Minstreiva

“ I've got blood on my hands from men who'd be better off breathing, but sometimes, you have to justify the sin to survive.. because when you step foot on a battlefield, you aren't really yourself. You're this distorted version of who you are, baring a rifle as if it would bring you glory, I was still Adam Eavington when I was at war, but I wasn't me. “ - Adam Eavington

“ I know it feels like this darkness is all we can be, but don't you understand, shadows are deceiving? They follow us and mimic our every action, but those doppelgangers aren't us, they're a twisted vessel of what we never were. Because in truth, we'll never truly achieve the title of darkness, for that implies we're able to be without light, but with the sun shining on us, and the moon washing us in its pale yellow glow, we've found our lighthouse. “ - Adam Eavintgon

“ This is a war, and I'm the only enemy.” - Adanya Oni

“ Eternity is such a damning and distraught curse, and as I seek to find me, I find mirrors standing in front of me, regret flickering in their eyes, and I realize the only person who could ever be there for me, is me. I trace my fingers over the glass of my own cheeks, running a gentle finger over my own glass lip, asking myself why the only connection I have is with the woman in the mirror. Heavy is the burden of being myself. “ - Albersteen

“ I have grown so tired of me.” - Albersteen

“ I've seen a helluva lot in dis world, I seen angels fallin' bloodied from da sky and cruelty smilin' in the eyes 'a death, but I ain't da things I've been through, eh? I'm Abraham feckin' Carlson, and there's sumfin' beautiful about dat. “ - Abraham Carlson

“ I've been through quite a bit, but despite all this, I live and breathe like I was supposed to do, sadly, some people don't get this opportunity, some people are ripped into this world only to be killed the day they were born because of people who don't know how to love. So to all the broken, I'll be a lighthouse at sea, and though those waves crash down so violently and it feels like you've got a ship but no steering wheel, know that I'll lead you home with a light that never flickers. “ - Sandra Dickens

“ I'm Lorelei Metals, not my scars.” - Lorelei Metals

“ I know that this world feels like a big ol' cage, trapping us in the echoes of our mortality, but the key is acceptance that your memory will live on forever in the hearts of those you've loved. “ - Lorelei Metals

“ There's a devil and an angel within us all, and it's up to us to decide which one wins the battle waged inside our crooked lil hearts." - River Metals

“In my eldritch stride I steal all things holy.” - Algonul

“ I am all the shadows accumulated into all seven deadly sins, wiping star light from my lip as I take a taste of all that is holy and let it rattle in my throat. “ - Algonul

“ I am nothing more then a vessel in which darkness lives.” - Algonul

“ I'm a cruel man, and as you look for any sort of mercy in my eyes, you'll find it staring down the barrel of my fucking revolver. “ - Gilderoy Vinefroker

“ I'm a sinner with his heart bared on his sleeve, look at all those scars, all those bullet holes, they're proof I've survived, and if I've lived through all these old assassination scars and treason laced holes, do you really think I can't survive you? “ - Gilderoy Vinefroker

“ I'm screaming into a void of my broken sorrows, wondering why this abyss stares at me with unblinking eyes.” - Annalise Valley

“ When she holds me close to her chest I feel like I can finally be me, as she tucks strands of my hair behind my ear I know I'm gonna be okay, and as she kisses me soft with gentle lips, I know love is a magical thing, healing scars that hands can't touch. In her heart I found a beautiful song, and as I listened to its rhythm and leaned in close, she took my heart in her rough yet gentle hands and told me she'd heal all the broken parts inside. I don't know how I can possibly thank her, but as she tells me she loves me, I know that safe can't even begin to describe how I feel when I lay my head in her lap. “ - Amila Hemizvowe

“ I'm a girl of revolution and smoke, standing sturdy and tall amidst the war I've waged against the weakness that used to make me, but nowadays as I pull back the hammer of this revolver I don't flinch. Because killing has become second nature, and so as I stare down he who made me, I'll let him drop with my human nature." - Kaytlie Dextor

“ My heart is built of buried bones and dying secrets, and as all this violence seethes like rage in me, I know I'm just not the girl I used to be. “ - Kaytlie Dextor

“ In this world, there's cruel men who need to be put down like the dogs they are, and so with my jacket of hidden knives, dare you call me Karma? “ - Cosmina Winchester

“ I put up emotional walls in my mind to keep people out of my heart, because in all honesty there's a certain sense of freedom, in being able to control the way your heart beats. “ - Cosmina Winchester

“ I'm falling from grace on wings of fragile bone sanity, always asking if who I am is good, but I shudder with horror as I see the words flash like crimson on a screen in my mind, "Outlook not so good." I met a devil in the confines of an orphanage I should've been safe at, but he sipped on his delusions so much so that he'd become them, and as his shifty eyes glanced towards me, his boney fingers wrapping around my collar, dragging me to a room of darkness, I knew my life was over before it ever began. “ - Olive Junkshire

“ That man called him a Devil, but I always believed he was a fallen angel, clutching at the clouds with human fingers trying to find anything to stop him from falling regretful through the atmosphere of his sorrow. “ - Olive Junkshire

“ Maybe there aren't any heroes, maybe there aren't any villains, just people who took different god damn paths. “ - Ashelice Curt

“ I'm not a saint, but maybe I'm halfway there." - Ashelice Curt

“ Monsters are always human, they always have the kindest smiles, but they wear grins with bullet fangs, silver revolver glistening like death in the smile of a rich beast. “ - Ballen Morfellos

“ He wears my pain like a jacket, his sins hiding just underneath his sleeve, darkness nestled inside the fabric of my hurt, but I'll wear his pain like a fucking bullet grin. And as he stares down the barrel of my revolver, will he plead guilty and ask for mercy, or will he stand like a statue and greet his death with insanity bleeding from his forehead? “ - Bellerose Kivinstein

“ I was human, once. It was beautiful, the way the flowers recoiled and withered as I stepped into the garden, how the trees howled in pain as I scratched human claws against their bark. I am not life, my friend, but the opposite of it. “ - Bezeltorren

“ Truth is we're all a mosaic 'a all the people we've met and all the things we been, so as this light shines through me I know I'll always be somethin' beautiful, won' I? “ - Rosaline North

“ Some men like ta call 'emselves coyotes howlin' in the dark, and once I met a man in the forests who called himself just another animal, biting and barking at anythin' that gave him a reason. But ya know what? If he's jus' another animal, then I'll be jus' another got damn hunter. “ - Rosaline North

“ I've been goin' knuckle ta knuckle with evil men ever since I stared me rage ridden father in the eye, and so as I stumbled through life in a haze, wonderin' when I'd find myself in the eye of some bloody peace, Hymond caught me in 'is arms and danced with me in a storm 'a peace and love ever aching. That man is brave as all hell, and with his heart scarred and fragile in me hand, I kiss his wounds and stitch the scars in 'is mind together so we can always dance so beautifully.” - Cleopatra Peterson

“ I'd never met a soul so brave and beautiful until my eyes met her steely gaze. “ - Samantha Robertson

“ The world ain't wicked, but people sure as shit can be." - Samantha Robertson

“ I'm not the best man in the world, I've killed, I've cheated at cards and gotten people hurt, but at least I'm halfway fucking decent. For Naomi holds my fragile and scarred heart with a smile that saves the goodness inside of me. When she holds my hand, and tells me with my scarred and rough hands she trusts me completely, I know that I'll be okay despite the murder and rage that nestles in between the cracks of my ribcage. She is my peace, and I will do whatever it takes to keep her in my heart. So with my sin etched bones I pray that God is forgiving to he who has a kind, yet murder scarred heart. “ - Perov Teras

“ With a heart so stained, and a mind so scarred, I walk this path knowing it is Hell I deserve, but alas, Naomi says God forgives he who fights for the side of the right, and so I pray to every God listening to this poor broken soul that for once in my God forsaken life, I do not stray left of this path I tread on tattered tap dancing shoes." - Perov Teras

“ I am a fragile beast, please, spare me of the point end of your blade, I was never savage, only weak and frail, hiding in a corner of my mind so dark it'd turn any star into a shadow. “ - Beverly Himisear

“ I can look deep into the eyes of who I am and find someone I'm not swimming in my dark pupils, and as I recoil and wither in the sight of who I've become, I must ask why fate vowed against the troubled girl. “ - Beverly Himisear

“ I suppose this is all I can ever be, and so with sorrow lurking in my chest, sitting there fragile and gentle like a forgotten toy in a chest of more loved dolls, I rust away into something forgotten by time and me. “ - Beverly Himsear

“ As my brothers went disappearing in the night, I didn't know if I'd ever be okay again, cuz in truth, they were my heroes, and without them I felt so lost. But as Rebelle takes me by the hand and tells me we'll make it through all the treachery, I know I'll be okay. With them I feel so safe, and as they squish my widdle cheeks and calls me their cute little gremlin, I know that I couldn't possibly be more in love then I am. “ - Marine Scoviney

“ Its been such a better place since they came along, and as they kiss me gently under the light of the sun, I feel my heart burst with colors that only exist in the mind and soul. “ - Marine Scoviney

“ Oh I was just another starving question, but my answer was always dark and twisted, a decaying little rose in the dying cracks of emptiness and pain. So as I stalk these fields, cigar on my lip bursting sparks and chaos from my lip, dare you trifle with a dead man walkin'? “ - Borat Coolraymo

“ My friend, a skinny and starving boy is easy prey for a lion, and so I had ta become somethin' other then the rabbit, standing daintily in the field of wolves who intimidated the lion. So, I grew into my red fur, ripping into my skin, becomin' something less then human as I arose from my coffin a beast of a different kind. I ain't just some skinny and starvin' boy of Africa no more brother, I'm a red lion of the O'Connel outlaws, and as I grin, blood on my teeth, you best know it ain't mercy I'm firing from my revolver. “ - Borat Coolraymo

“ I wasn't born for peace, but maybe I can fight for it. I can feel the colors bleeding from my soul like paint dripping down a canvas, and as I rock myself back and forth, asking myself why this world didn't protect me, I come to realize that the world never made anyone safe. Because the world is dangerous, and I learned that too young. “ - Bowie Hunton-Blather

“ I feel as if, as I roll in these sheets I'm sleepin' in a strangers bed, wonderin' where who I am went, but as these blankets wrap 'round my throat like a noose, I know this, is who I am, and from now on out, always will be. As the darkness encroaches upon my vision, and I fall inta the dark, I know that no matter what I do, I will not escape being this beast called Shawn Moot. So with tragedy in my veins, regretfully I continue ta be me. “ - Shawn Moot

“ I can hardly travel these lands of trouble without finding the edge of a blade, running my fingers over the metal as to bleed this man I'm not from my finger tips. But I'm skin, I'm bone, I'm thoughts and withering roses, but the one thing I'm not, and never fucking will be, is Shawn Moot, and that, is perhaps the greatest tragedy of all." - Shawn Moot

“ I was just a wild gal, dancing at clubs and bars, wondering where my life went, but perhaps that too, was life. Living wild and free, trying to find someone to make my colors burst like fireworks booming in the night sky. I met him in a bowling alley, striking down pins with his buddies, and as I caught his eye, I wondered if perhaps that was life I was staring at. Sure, we had our troubles, we had our hardships, we had breaks, and we had fights. But in the end, I don't think I'd want anyone's heart but Rolando's in my gentle hands. “ - Bridget Shontell

“ My life has been troubled, I've met a man who barked at car lights and shadows, looking for any reason to bite, but I've also met peace in the eyes of a goofy and highly stupid guy who makes me laugh uncontrollably. “ - Bridget Shontell

“ Once upon a time I told myself I'd never dance again, but as she beckons me to the spotlight and tells me this dance would be her pleasure, I follow her, swaying gently back and forth into the light with a pained smile creeping up the corners of my lip. “ - Alexandria Hartman

“ As she dances fingers against my scars and tells me she loves me, I know that somewhere in this heart is a flame, sparking for a revolution against the darkness in me. But alas, I have always been a moth drawn to her own fucking flame, sparking up cigarettes in hope to find the light that draws me ever nearer to my demise on a golden sunrise. “ - Alexandria Hartman

“ I've been faced with trouble all my life, smoking cigars wonderin' if these sparks would be enough ta keep me warm, but they never was brother, they never was. “ - Wesley Kamstool

“ A good friend of mine once said that we're all just tryin' to be somebody, and maybe the fact that we're striving for that, means we've already grasped it. But I've always been a ghost, a grave etched with no name, and so am I really someone, or have I always been a lonely no one, sitting on the edge of a cigar, rising from it like the smoke of a dying man's breath? “ - Wesley Kamstool

“ Perhaps as life looks at me with sorrowed eyes, she mourns for the man who never lived, but if she could dance her fingers against my cold cheek, would she find Spring and Summer blossoming in my broken smile? Or would she find Winter and decaying bones ripping through my chest? Maybe she wouldn't find a man, but rather a ghost pretending ta be one. “ - Wesley Kamstool

“ Perhaps this grave of war and old gunshots is all I can really ever be. “ - Bri Calzato

“ All these scars have killed me ever so gently, and as I'm laid in the soil next to the worms and moles, I must wonder if this is what it means, to be alive. But this is no life I've lived, it's been death, disguised as the greater good. “ - Bri Calzato

“ I yearn for the gentle touch of someone who'll love me, battle scars and all, for maybe love would heal the wounds sitting idle on my breath, but these scars are roots dug deep into my heart, wrapping around my ribcage until I can hardly breathe without pieces of dirt and pain ripping themselves from out my throat. “ - Bri Calzato

“ I honestly fear I am nothing but a bullet cased grave, etched with a name that is not quite my own, and as I trace my fingers over the words and numbers that tell me when and how I died, I get this haunting feeling that I've never really lived. As if I am a ghost, haunting her own lonely little grave where all the flowers and roses came to wither and fade like me." - Bri Calzato

“ I'm caught in this war I wage in my mind, traveling this labyrinth of scars that sit in the hallway of my brain like sorrowed questions never to be answered by this heartbeat, and as I wade gently in these waters, they start flowing red with blood that has not ever been my own. “ - Brooke Woodward

“ With our blades we charge, but alas, as we swing them our hearts become blackened ash of a dying willow tree, and we have always been standing underneath the shade. “ - Brooke Woodward

“ My heart is such a long maze, and as I traverse through its shadows I wonder whom would so care to travel alongside me, for this dark place is a part of me, and to love me means you too, must be dark. “ - Brooke Woodward

“ I have come to the horrifying conclusion that we simply aren't human, anymore. We're little more than beasts, ripping at the seers threadwork fabric set before us, we follow blindly into destiny with hearts of steel and gnashing teeth, and gently, ever so gently the seers cut us from thread and watch us fall down ever so down into a hole of our own inhumanity. Perhaps this is their way of punishing us. For we poisoned the garden with our wicked hearts, asking why all the roses turned black, and why the daffodils withered and died. “ - Brooke Woodward

“ Ya know, as those two people fell in spurts of red and my misery, I knew I wasn't ever gonna be the same, so at the cost of another boy's peace, I protected my own. But I guess murder never gave peace to anyone, huh? It hides in the cracks of your heart, and as it sits there like a forgotten secret, you know it'll always be the blood ya bleed. “ - Bruce Willingfell

“ My sons tell me they love me, they say I'm their hero, Ragnar says as I accepted him as the king he is instead 'a the princess the world tried ta make him, he knew I would always be a hero ta me. And Jaspel would always smile, and say I'm a good father. But they don't know the murder in my heart, the secret bloodstains in my ribcage. “ - Bruce Willingfell

"The world never betrayed me brother, but you did." - Ralph Artvaina

"Once upon a time I wished upon shooting stars, asking for the mercy of my decaying, bruised and ugly heart. But alas, I found wishes never come true, and so here I sit, heartless." - Hartman Brokedallo

"You know, I've had too many mother's ta count, too many black toothed bloodied knuckled father's ta speak each individual name of the fists that broke me down ta tears and bone. I ain't never had family, every brother I ever had pushed me down flights 'a stairs and called me an outcast of his family. Every sister stabbed me in the fuckin' back, but when I get ta lookin' ta people who ain't known me for all that long, and I see some sense of, redemption swimmin' in the river of their pupils, I get ta wonderin' if family is found in ghosts and people mercy failed." - Ralph Artvaina

"I stared her eye ta eye, and I can't say I found a human swimmin' in them blackened, decaying pupils." - Ralph Artvaina

"I think I died the day I stared mercy dead in the eye and said, "This just ain't no truthful sort of matter." - Ralph Artvaina

"Justice isn't something we can change the definition of. If you twist the words and tangle the truths, you can't call it justice, all you can really do is call it what it is. A stone cold lie based in cruelty, and an agenda." - Hartvorth Devilsky

"Circumstance pushes people a helluva lot more than trust." - Darmina Lightsworth

"It is only in death I feel the presence of life." - Vokens Samtino

"If life is not an adventure, I'd much rather do something other than live." - Lewis Kifle

"Every once and awhile, God must let Lucifer roam earth as a reminder that not all in this world is beautiful." - Royal Hondros

"The heart that loves, perhaps, is the one that breaks." - Lukell Calderi

"I have found that she is not a garden, as those wither. She is not the sun, for it sinks, nor is she the moon, nor the stars, for her beauty and grace is unfaltering, and as I see her warrior's smile, I know that perhaps to be alone with her in this maze of my heart is not such a damning fate." - Brooke Woodward

"In that old revolver of secrets and the sins of a ghost, I met the darkness in me and walked willingly into the decay of my own broken heart." - Callina Troubrewskey

"He's a stain on my heart I don' wanna see go." - Dori Thievesmire

"To become something a little less than yourself is the loneliest achievement of all. And as I sit here, in a corner of my heart, I come to realize how lonely I really am." - Harpwrit Thievesmire

"If my heart was a chord, a melody of seven strings, I don't think anyone would care to listen." - Alckoline Thievesmire

"I looked at the world through a dead man's point of view, and came to realize death is not so peaceful after all. To sit lonely in your casket with the worms and bastards would be such a sorrowful sort of damnation." - Elfine Thievesmire

"Inside of me something real started to grow like a cancer, blossoming from my chest." - Myka Thievesmire

"I'd never claimed to meet death until I looked into the eyes of a Devil, who with a crooked and wicked grin tore his children, along with all whom knew them kicking and screaming from a garden of Eden." - Devanhue Connor

"Screw that destiny shit, take hold of your reigns, kid, don't lose control like I did. Cuz the only fate I can imagine that's worse than being me, is becoming me." - Denzel Thievesmire

"I'm one strike away from death, kid. Don't go damnin' yourself ta this fate of dead end home runs and hollow bones." - Denzel Thievesmire

"I can sense the death of identity in your smile, Rupen. Dare you place it in the tips of my fingers, only to watch it flitter away like cinders from my cigarette?" - Rucarlo Devinski

"Evil where's the face of the every day man." - Clarice Sanchez

"Aching and gentle I lost my heart. It was a cruel melancholy tune, drifting through the skies like a soft cinder, and as I reached for it with greedy paws, it slipped like water between my fingers." - Maxadellas Zonestrame

"It is not so easy, finding who you are in hiding echoes." - Camilla Davidson

"If you are loving, my father, give me all I had back and beg for forgiveness from the man peace never seemed to know. But I suppose you can not give me graves without grief." - Alastair Sambridge

"Here I sit, like sacrilege on my tongue." - Alastair Sambridge

"A grave is creeping up the corners of your sorrowed eyes." - Royal Hondros

"It is always Winter, in my ribcage." - Benjamin Samahil

"If she were to dig her fingers into the essence of my heart, I fear all she'd find is a dark shadow of who I am. And as tar and crimson spills between the fingers of the pure, does the kind become cruel? Does the loved become the hated?" - Benjamin Samahill

"I died long before I met you, you simply shoveled dirt in an already decaying casket." - Benjamin Samahill

"I met a man in the dying lights of my faith, and with an almost, life saving smile he changed the bulbs." - Rhys Breeze

"I am an extant form of man, no more am I Benjamin Samahill, just the vessel in which he once lived." - Benjamin Samahill

"I lay my hand on a Bible and it withers like the mercy in my heart." - Antonio Sharp

"Some people will take their bows and their arrows and catch fire to the flint headstones of death sitting idle on the wood of their instrument of murder. Some people will always crave chaos, but a true warrior craves peace, above all else." - Enzvilina Harbrita

"That woman dances with a ghost and expects to find something living beating inside her heart." - Hoshino Akinori

"Pieces 'a his reflection become marred with mine." - Sandro Colorfeid

"Is it really madness if it brings you peace?" - Moores Thomas

"My brother once said he was a rabid Stoneshire dog, and it's with fear dripping down the notches of my spine I say, I'm a blood hungry Stoneshire wolf." - Mackton Stoneshire

"Every man who's lain dead at my feet haunts me, but, with a badge on my chest and a heart that rarely feels, I pull another trigger and call it justice." - Vayton Camilo

"In a kill or be killed world, I must regretfully call myself more then a grave." - Vayton Camilo

"My brother looks at me with human eyes, but it's hate tangled in his love for his own life that makes him something less then the man I knew." - Marvin Grudges

"You ever look at yourself through the lens of someone you know and realize, you ain't never been the good guy?" - Marvin Grudges

"In the gunfire smoke of another day, I traverse through the heart of war, wondering if it beats inside my ribcage." - Ulysses Tenbarge

"It's not life that kills people, it's not cruelty or the sea. Trust in strangers and people with kind smiles has killed more men then I've ever watched go down in sprays of red mortality." - Narthal Vormalew

"I met cruelty in the eyes of a widow, heart bared black on her empty sleeve." - Dante Dunbar

"I don't understand the fundamental roots of evil, all that I know is, I'm swingin' from 'em." - Dante Dunbar

"They stood still at his grave, like vultures, who knew their job was done." - Sarvel Humington

“ You want protection, right? You wanna make a name for yourself in the notches of history? Then come with me, cause this town is full of crooks and broke back cheats, we're all reapers here, so let me give ya your damn scythe." - Sarvel Humington

"Tell me somethin' kid, if a man can look death eye ta eye every day of his God forsaken life, what do you think he'll do when faced with life?" - Sarvel Humington

"I was like a wet cat, scratchin' and tearin' at anything that got damn near two inches 'a me. And god damn brother, something about that chaos just killed me." - Sarvel Humington

"I would watch for monsters under your bed, child. You have no idea what hides in the wake of nightmares and dreams." - Mizella Shrew

“ You can't jump into the casket of secrets and expect it not to close." - Moores Thomas

“ Sometimes there's a little monster prowling in the depths of our mind, he stamps his little feet, always wearing a cute little frown, but don't let that grumpiness inside of him get to your heart, because that's when it gets real difficult to exorcise this nasty little monster who holds you down. “ - Krystie Shontell

“ am caught in a bad dream, except every time I close my eyes, I escape it. If only for a mere night, I escape my mind. I've never been able to dream, really. My mind doesn't conjure images for me to see, well, in a sense it does, just not in the sense that I dream. I can picture a meadow of grass, I can picture the nights of terror, I can picture the darkness inside of my mind, but I don't particularly dream. I hit the pillow and wake up. And on the rare occasion that I do dream, it is my mother I see in the dark. “ - Zachariah Rinderez

“ I am a king without his crown, wondering why his kingdom ever followed him into battle. “ - Bardzimi Collingwood

“ They call this strange land, New York city, they say it's filled to the brim with corruption, evil spilling from the side of the glass. “ - Russel Cormelius

“ You can deny the innate desire within to hunt down those who kicked you down, but is it really worth it, to let your enemies escape and watch as they continue their ways? As they say, be merciful to the cruel and you're cruel to the merciful. “ - Pascal Von Reddix

[rpgchoices]

Heaven’s Vault Part 5: Age of Steel

So I recently found out that there should have been a new location in the game (The Great Forge), which could have helped patching up the age of steel. It was apparently taken out because of time constrains (not confirmed, a guy answered to a question I had on reddit, here, mind spoilers).

As always, this post contains spoilers for the whole game.

There is only one AGE OF STEEL site.

After investigating the Age of Sail sites, Aliya can return to Amandu and confirms that the observatory/docking station had no robots (even if robots worked there).

Amadu will then tell Aliya where he found his servos (servos = robots without the foil, as far as I know, so without the personality). They were on a boat in the Withering Ways. The crew was all servos (servos, so no projected face) and they were sailing around the same point, always on the same trajectory. Amadu's theory is that the robots had two conflicting goals, and going round was the result of that. This is the STEEL SITE. 

This could confirm that ships and travelling during the steel age was still done, with the help of robots or mainly by robots/servos.

This AGE OF STEEL site is also tracked from the mining carts used by Renba, so Renba had already visited it in the past.

Among the things found in abandoned ruins, there is also a reliquary with the writing "The river of the Gods flow fast". This religious object cannot, of course, be owned by robots. This probably suggests there were humans still travelling with their ships during the age of steel. It could be that how robots and servos had hierarchies, so the humans had them.

Aliya and Six find the Steel Age site and it is a MINING OUTPOST. The mine is, of course, abandoned. 

In the mine of the Steel Period site, there are two buildings with panels clearly operated by robots, and ramps for robots. In the second building, it is clear that humans had opened the panels and got at the wiring, probably to be able to escape. In the first building there is also a broken panel, probably keeping some robots trapped in the garage behind. This seems to lead to a human rebellion against the robots.

Behind one of the buildings, the writing “Your work makes rivers flow” is pretty suspicious. Writings was clearly for humans, not robots, to give them purpose for their work. Makes the river flow could mean that they were mining iolite, those crystals to trap gravity.

In my game plus, the writing was actually: “Nebula drinks blood you produce”

It could be that whatever they were mining, it was vital to keep the rivers flowing.

Aliya can also slip in a crack in the stone, behind the first building. There, there is a stone marker as seen in the emperors’ graveyard. There is a round wall, with the stone marker in the center and each brick is carved with a name. This is probably a memorial built in early empire times, for all those lost in the mine under the robots’ rule. The words on the stone marker are probably “We pray for those who are gone”.

Nearby the second building, Aliya confirms the presence of remains of humans living in poverty, controlled by the robots. Six confirms that the ethical core could have allowed the robots to keep humans barely surviving, even in those horrible conditions.

Exploring, Aliya finds three wells were human workers were clearly working in, down inside the ground.

Rocks seems to spell the words “Save us”. The human miners stranded in the mine had probably asked to a ship//someone to save them, after/during the work/rebellion. There is a whole in the roof, here, which might explain why Amadu’s servos were going in circles. They probably saw the message of help, but had the opposite order of leaving the mine, maybe continuing with their journey.

Aliya can enter one of the pits, where she finds the GROUND god/goddess. The goddess is upside down, and has one eye which reacts to Aliya’s words (even if they are not in ancient), but replies with words in ancient.

The god probably ended up buried accidentally.

At the question "Are you really a god?", it answers "I am god of ship Heaven's Vault". The god also tells you “I am a the buried god”, so it must know it is underground and lost. The other questions and answers are: Which god are you? -> I am Vault god Where is the Vault? -> Source of all But you are here, aren’t you? -> I am the Vault Can you hear me? -> I hear? you What happened to the people here? -> They were dying You helped them to leave? You gave them a ship? -> I do as I must

The god also says “I am the Heaven’s Vault”, this could be because all the AI in the vault are connected. 

The god says “god of ship Heaven’s Vault”, and could simply mean that the word for GOD was actually something else in the past (AI?). I don’t believe this is the seventh god, but that all the gods/AI were connected but with different functionalities.

The god confirms that he was the one saving the miners, and he does save Aliya if she ends up trapped, by hoppering her to Elboreth. This confirms that these AI had the ability to hopper people even without a line of sight. 

The Gate will also tell Six where to find her, and will call Aliya Six's property.

This is confusing to me.

The options for what was going on in the age of steel and what was the god doing there are that:

1) The robots were controlling humans and servos. The robots were the rulers, and this happened because of their logical core ending up deciding that ruling humans was the better way to protect them. This could be a consequence of the extensive use of robots (without human supervision) of the age of sail (like we saw in the observatory/dock). Humans were also organized in different social hierarchies (some were still sailing), not sure how the robots decided this. 

2) Humans in the age of sail ended up convincing the robots of the loop theory to alleviate their suffering at seeing humans exploited. This means that some humans ruled alongside the robots, over servos and people.

3) This option is probably stranger, but we know that the iolite crown is probably pre-first empress and has recordings in it, and we know that the foil pre dates the empire. Maybe the empress decided to record people because this was already happening before? Some robots were eternal recorded people already?

In both cases, the justification of having human workers was that they were keeping the happiness of the other travelling humans up.

The ground goddess could have been there and the miners could have been sent there to retrieve the god, or they accidentally stumbled upon the god. The ending result was the same: the god has probably a stronger order/law and it decided to save all the miners.  

The fact that Aliya is considered Six’s property makes me think that the AI considered the robots the carers of humans... not sure why property. It could be that the buried God was always there and oversaw the human workers, until their conditions got so bad that the workers were dying.

In any case, this is the only age of steel site! Later, in the Withering Palace, Aliya will find books that confirm the people being afraid of the robots, that the robot law was fair but cruel, and that the robots were thrown under the palace and kept there. Still, we know that probably some servos worked in the Graveyard of the emperors. 

[woozletania]

There’s a raccoon in my tower, part 5

Over a picnic meal Tony gets a look at what Rocket’s been building in his lab.

Tony had never seen someone so small eat so much in such a short time.  Rocket ate with his little clawed hands and fangs, sniffing at then tearing into one dish after another.  Most of a roast chicken, a bowl of potato salad, a dish of cherries and a stick of garlic bread disappeared into the little raccoon before he drank half a bottle of water, burped loudly, then went right back to eating.

Occasionally he nosed at something and rather than ripping into it he slid the dish to Nebula.  That ended up being the applesauce, a jar of grape jam and a Tupperware dish of tuna salad.  Nebula ate sparingly of each, taking no more food than a child and much less than the hungry raccoon.  It wasn't hard to guess why.  There was so little flesh left among her cybernetics that there couldn't be room for much of a digestive system or need for one.

Thor ate more than Rocket but weighed at least five times as much. He also grinned and belched in reply whenever Rocket did, making sure to outdo his little friend in volume.  Tony and Pepper together ate less than the Thunder god.   That gave Tony time to peer around the room.  Rocket was too busy eating to do more than shoot him the occasional suspicious glance.

In the background of it all was the music.  Always the music.  No one commented on it but throughout the meal the Zune on the workbench fed sound to hidden speakers.  Tony suspected it was Quill's, for the age of the songs smacked of the rogue's retro mindset.  Footloose was right in line with Fleetwood Mac, Norman Greenbaum, David Bowie, the Jackson Five, ELO, Cat Stevens and more.  It wasn't loud but it was always there.

Almost everything in sight had the handmade look he'd come to associate with Rocket.  How one little raccoon could build so much in just a few months escaped him.  There was some automation, like the assembly line stamping out parts. Maybe some of the equipment was similarly machine made.

Racks of tools, half-built weapons, stacks of parts all had a look of clutter that he knew was an illusion.  A master craftsman leaves each item just where he wants it to be. He imagined the response if someone tidied up.  "Don't touch my stuff." The mantra of the technician.

There was something he assumed was a recycling system the little raccoon presumably made so he wouldn't need to connect to the building's water and sewer lines.  Much more interesting was the hulking shape looming in the shadows nearby. Thor was interested in it too but wouldn't stop eating to look it over. Tony was not so shy but when he went to stand Thor put his hand on his knee.

"Afterwards," the thunder god murmured. They went back to eating and to pretending not to notice when Nebula reached out to pet Rocket in between bites.  Tony never imagined the bitter cyborg and angry raccoon being friends until he saw how they treated each other.  Each cared about the other and showed by action what they'd never admit out loud.

Pepper couldn't resist reaching out to pet him as well but held back and  when Rocket shot her a glare and bared his fangs.  It seemed not everyone got to pet the raccoon.

When Rocket had eaten most of the contents of Thor's picnic basket the raccoon belched again and sat back, his belly noticeably rounder than before.  He must have put away a quarter his body weight in one sitting.  It didn't escape anyone that only a famished man - or raccoon - ate like that.

"The deal was that you were to eat, Rocket," was the first thing out of Thor's mouth when they were all done feasting.  "You don't eat like a well fed person."

"I do eat," the raccoon snapped.  "Look!" He pointed at a pile of empty foam food containers in the corner.  "They put food in when I send stuff out, I eat it."

Thor looked the raccoon over, unconvinced.  "You do look a little better.  But when was the last time you sent something out?"

"I dunno," Rocket said. "Haven't had as much stuff lately.  Nothing works on Thanos.  I sent out everything I know how ta make and he's still alive." He slouched where he sat.  "Nothing works on that guy."

Thor opened his mouth but Tony stuck his foot in.  "How do you know how to make all this, Rocket?"

Rocket laughed harshly.  "The usual way someone like me learns.  Head stuffed full of Uplift processors and a helmet clamped on my head feeding in what they want me ta know.  They wanted a soldier who could build and repair his own gear.  So they built one.  Or a prototype of one anyway. Other stuff I picked up after I escaped."

Tony winced.  It was as bad as he's expected.  "Well, if you want a job, I'm hiring.  Or if you'd just meet with me and a few others to do an info exchange."

"Got everything I need right here," Rocket said.  "I just gotta figure out something Thanos isn't immune to.  I collapsed a planet and took chunks out a two more and he's still alive.  Nothing works on the blue bastard."

Thor steered the conversation back on track.  "Pepper, do you know how often Rocket has sent things out recently?"

"About every two or three days," she said.  "I should have realized that was a problem.  I'm sorry Thor, we've been so busy."

"New rule, Rocket," Thor said firmly.  "You're going to let them send food in every day. You're not going to get lost in your work and starve again if I have anything to say about it."

"Fine," Rocket said after a jaw-cracking yawn.  "Whatever.  You gonna go so I can get back ta work?"

"In a minute," Tony interjected.  "What's with the power armor?"

They turned to look at the Hulkbuster-sized figure in the shadows.  As usual the lighting was dim to favor the nocturnal raccoon but it could be nothing but a power suit, and the Rocket-sized compartment in the front left no doubt who the pilot would be.

"Eh," Rocket shrugged.  "If I can't kill him with a bomb maybe I can at least get a few punches in.  From that footage Potts sent me he likes a good fight." He yawned again, visibly struggling to stay awake after the heavy meal and who knows how much missed sleep.  "He coulda killed you ten different ways with the Stones but he went hand ta hand.  Likes to fight." He supported his muzzle on his hands as he stared at the hovering screens with drooping eyelids  "I'll get him..."

Tony had been in his place.  Sometimes the need to invent kept him up for days.  Rocket was running on determination and rage but he didn't have Jarvis or Friday to make sure he ate or slept.  Thor was worried Rocket would wither away at his workbench and he was right to do so.  Even now, after what Tony knew were several food-laden visits, Rocket was skinnier than he probably should be.

Rocket was so exhausted he only muttered a protest when Thor picked him up and slid him into the padded pet bed.  The thunder god gestured with his chin and they filed out lest they wake the little mechanic from his much needed rest.  Tony lingered by the power armor but barely had time for a look before Thor chased him out.  Each waited until they were past the entry corridor - surely loaded with cameras and microphones - to speak.  When the ever-present music was finally cut off by the closing doors Pepper spoke up.

"He's like a little kid," Pepper said sadly.  "A hurt little kid trying not to think about what he lost."

"A very dangerous, very angry little kid," Tony agreed.  

“There's nothing more dangerous than a man who has nothing left to lose,” Thor said somberly.

Pepper and Thor shared a brief exchange but he missed it.  Something was nagging at him.  Something about the power armor.

"...only family he ever had," Nebula was saying as he awoke from his thoughts. "And Groot was his son in all but name."

"Nebula," he said, and the blue cyborg fixed him with a look.  "Did you see the purple conduits built into that power suit?"

She shrugged.  "Yes.  Jump drive. Personal teleporters aren't unheard-of but they are rare.  Maybe he thinks it'll surprise my father.  Why?"

"I don't know," Tony said. "Something about it bugs me.  Did you get any scans, Friday?"

"No sir," said the voice from the ceiling.  "A damping field was in place, probably for your benefit.  I did get some video and snapshots through your chest unit, though."

"All right," Tony said. "Mock up what you can in Lab Two.  I'll be by in a bit."

"Is there a problem, Stark?"

"I don't know yet, Thor.  Maybe."

Tony was being cautious.  In his heart he knew something was very wrong.  He just didn't know what it was yet.

[glorykrp]

taken from nebulaent.com: loading the profile of tae…

yoon taemin ( born october 31st, 1996 ), better known by his stage name tae, is an idol under nebula black as escape’s leader and main vocalist. prior to the group’s debut, he trained for six years. his hometown is recorded as incheon, south korea. loading latest news…

PERSONAL LIFE.

of all things unearthed, his hands bear the most callouses:                                                       pomegranate heart, wireframe veins—

                   i.

introduction to dawn that spills too late, succulent with the reek of deaths: against the pale of the night comes the wither of the day, all sickly yellow with its spidery fingers fissuring the sky. this is what has become of the war, and despite the victory marching around the edges with its tapestries and encores, there’s no turning back to the ink that bleeds dark in his bed. it is as though the darkest hour has moved to the crack between him and him, and draws an abyss too wide for them to cross.

still, he searches blindly in his sleep, a wrist dangling off the cliff.

one an end lay his fiends, growing milk teeth sharper than any surgical instrument, and on another lay his priests, raising golden goblets filled to the brim with wine of emotions. the clatter of the metals is always distant, almost unheard of. the former tends to draw the canyons and flees with the rest, leaving the latter with nothing but nullified intents.

                  ii.

umma soaks bone-deep into the haunting silence of threnody.

last child was birthed with poems tangled in his hair, pulverizing the bones of wishes of birthing a daughter. three sons, a legacy. named after another king, he’s destined to become another puppet on elaborate strings. taemin for every sharp contour of her framed reflection, taemin for every stilled mayhem of umma’s sullen heart. he resembles umma in too many ways, and when umma combs her fingers through the locks of his brown strands, he can almost hear the whisper of doctrines infused through the scalp.

umma binges on private moments of catastrophe, humming too many elegies veiled as lullabies. he sees through umma’s sorrow as a child and learns to wear his own like a robe. this is the art of rebirthing after a young death.

                   iii.

skeleton beckons for a name that splinters. this bridge is rotten pomegranates, seeds dripping from each creak. the red stains her soles and draws her blood; the red consumes to construct and deconstruct. in the morning hours specked with singed stars, she drains her body of life – her life is fading in a room too many. in her hand, the clammy fingers of a husband’s. she’s a lungful of a quiet battle cry until the war comes to a close, its lips sutured by the weight of his scream.

he steps out of the holy room with a death in a hand and a message in another.

a wife’s last wish becomes the liberty of a last child’s.

                   iv. 

umma’s closed casket ceremony shapes the family: appa wrings his iron fists around his brothers, and leaves him behind for the house beasts to feast on. he swallows loneliness for breakfast and fragile longings for dinner. he closes his eyes to his brothers’ weary faces, and opens them again to see their backs turned on him. all that he knows is how their paths are mapped before them, while his own is a barren road devoid of a parent’s hand. all that’s there would be the signs carved out of umma’s abraded fingerprints.

taejun and taehyun house appa’s insignia in their stomachs, with their names written on the family legacy. skyscrapers of a hospital mark their futures effortlessly.

he drowns in limbo for a moment, hands clasped in prayers with nails embedding themselves into umma’s favorite rosary. but sooner or later, he’s bound to forget the church halls, as god does not answer to a boy whose mouth is full of howls.

                   v.

teenage wasteland comes, and he sinks into another ocean. youth anthems become the anchor tied to an ankle. mother’s shame a forgotten sailor song, and he submerges himself deeper into this manmade euphoria, baptizing himself as another lost boy. the water body swallows him and never spits him up for years. when he surfaces, he sees her as a beacon that guides him back to the shore.

two years, almost three. he’s a mouthful of cigarette smokes, corruption running thick in his veins. decadence is another brand of the night, until a wake up call comes in the form of the ghost that dreams of his future. he thinks of her in every step, and starts working to become the person that he wants to be.

he never truly leaves his youth behind, however: this is a dichotomy that divides him. this is a dilemma that encloses him. he takes a gulp of adulthood, but still dons his adolescence like a second skin. this is the age of transition.

PERFORMANCES.

a vocalist through and through, with a unique tone to his voice, taemin has a lot in his disposal in terms of musicalities. he owns an extreme prowess in altering the colors of his voice according to the genres of the music, rendering the songs versatile and rich. he’s blessed with both talents and fortitude when it comes to singing, but the same cannot be said for other parts. he’s a strong dancer only after the years and years of rigorous trainings, refusing to go home until he perfected certain moves, but this did not happen until the last of his training years. at the beginning of it, he tended to be complacent with his position as a vocalist, until the possibilities of not debuting loomed.

he also understands that having his background checked might cause a lot of troubles for escape. thus, instead of letting people find his old faults, he chose to cover them by his current reckless actions and wordings. this is against the company’s plan for him, for sure — he was only asked to become the clown, not the troublemaker. he makes calculated reckless comments, cunning on his own rights. this, however, has been something that the company warned him about, although he’d say that changing wouldn’t really be that easy.

2017 INTERVIEW.

it tasted like a paradox: fame is a cathedral of both virtues and vices. after years of struggling to win his family’s approval, especially coming from his father’s stern disprove, debuting almost felt like ashes disintegrating on his tongue. it felt like swallowing glass shards too, sometimes, after years spent under the artificial lights of the trainee studio, practicing the choreographies again and again until his ankles ached. but he’s finally here, on the stage, with their fans chanting his full name.

and it feels like a race on a fast-paced track, knowing no moment of pausing. knowing no sliver of breathing. there’s no room for it — simply a schedule after another, suffocating him. and that’s when he started to speak up, acting out. he shouldn’t, he knows. as a leader, should’ve set a good example. yet, he doesn’t. yet, he isn’t. he’s a weary mind with a sharpened tongue, going against the current set by nebula. it’s only about time that the company will reprimand him for his actions — but while he’s on top, while he’s protected by the silhouettes of the light sticks waved by ctrl, he’s safe. he’s safe, at least for now.