#Even a decent parents can fail too and that's ok no one is perfect

[yueasuka]

Hmm... Many people say Reverse!Gabriel doesn't pay attention to Emodrien but is it true or is it him giving Emodrien a space for griefing? I'm more to the later actually. 🤔

This is because I saw their relationship like Adrien and Gabriel relationship but reversed situation. In canon, it's Gabriel who refused to move on and in the reverse, it's Emodrien who refused. So I think just like how Adrien give Gabriel space to grief while also doing what he can for his father, the same thing happened in the other world but role reversed. That and the fact Griffe Noire's rant about how reverse!Gabriel just continue designing, came off as the same thing with Gabriel's reaction in Felix episode when Adrien give him his blessing to pursue Nathalie just further proof of it for me. The kind of "How dare you move on this fast!! Did she meant little to you?????!" Type of rant.

Since Emodrien finally decided to move on thanks to Adrien's pep talk, I'm sure if these son and father talk things through, things will get better and perhaps this time the Agreste will be the one "adopting" Marinette and save her from the tower of loneliness.

[honey-makki]

Firsts

Characters: Tsukishima Kei X Fem!Reader

Summary: Fate works in mysterious ways to bring people who are destined to be together, to actually be together. 

Warnings: Sex!! blow jobs, face riding, virginity loss 

Genre: fluff, smut

Word Count: 5k

A/N: Well this started as a drabble request but here I am a week later with a 5k fic about it. Soft tsukki inbound. I hope you enjoy @salty4tsukki bc I def enjoyed writing this.

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Being an only child is not a precursor to being lonely. Memories of family game nights, shared dinners and movies watched filled the air of your house letting you know that you were both never alone and, oh, so loved. 

You knew that having as healthy a home environment was unusual and that it was part of the reason that you are so emotionally intelligent. Many of your peers couldn’t stand their parents and found every excuse to avoid being home. Sure, you and your parents had arguments about curfew or the number of texts you sent every month. The last argument happened every time you brought home a grade that was unsatisfactory, which wasn’t often, but consistent enough that it was a recurring problem. 

“I’m just tired of them expecting me to be perfect! It’s unreasonable for them to expect perfect grades, being on a starter for the soccer team, and involved in other clubs! I’m only one person.” You ranted to Tsukki, sulking around his room before plopping on his bed, arms covering your sighing face.  Tsukki was the only person you came to with family problems because you knew he would understand and not push you. The usually sassy boy always softened these days, knowing that this was the one thing that you couldn’t handle being teased about. Today, he looked at you with soft pity, knowing the amount of work you put towards everything just to be told it’s not enough.

“I could tutor you in English if you want? I know we have our usual pre-exam study sessions, but I really don’t mind making them more regular if you think they would help.” Tsukki might listen to you complain but he still isn’t the best at empathy, rather resorting to problem-solving. He showed his care and compassion to you subtly. Offering his solutions in a way you could make them sound like your own, knowing that provided a semblance of comfort. Allowing you into his room whenever you needed to complain and not questioning your feelings. Always offering you a hoodie or jacket when you were worn out from crying, knowing that the warmth would lull you into a much-needed sleep

You knew he cared about you. Yes, sometimes you over exaggerated your feelings to take advantage of that, but only because you wanted his jacket on your body. The thought that it was his arms rather than just a Tsukki scented cloth surrounding you. Only crying a little harder with the hopes he would offer to have a movie night which always meant cuddles. No, you never faked your feelings to him, not wanting to lie to your best friend and consistent childhood companion, you just embellished them.

Relishing in the fact that for maybe, just ten minutes that Tsukki wasn’t just your best friend, that he grew past friends as he aged, and saw you like more, as his other half. The person he wanted to spend not only his childhood years with but also every single one he still had left. 

You aren’t sure when you fell in love with Tsukishima Kei.

It could have been his moment against Shiratorizawa when you saw him truly experience joy for the first time in the sport he spent so much time. It could have been the time he gave you his rain jacket when it was pouring before you walked home, knowing it wouldn’t do much against the downpour, but the barrier being symbolic. It could definitely have been the time you went over to study and you walked in on him singing to himself while studying, the soft tenor notes gracing your ears. You only really remember how his voice made your heart skip a beat, the flush of his ears when he turned around catching your eyes.

All you know is that you were hopelessly in love with the man who had been with you every step, every stumble of your life. The man who towered over you but never made you feel smaller than he, the man that laughed before checking on you when you tripped, but always ensuring you were truly ok. 

Watching him grow into his height and his body gaining muscles during highschool was both a blessing and a curse. Your eyes were drawn to his figure, shoulders hunched over on his desk, deltoids peeking out of the sleeves in a way that made you want more. Yes, you loved looking at him but sometimes it plagued you. 

Eyes scrunched shut and heavy breathing, all you can think about is what Tsukki might look like under those clothes. It was a curse, lewd thoughts of your best friend being the only way you could get off anymore. That didn’t stop you from plunging two fingers in and out for your dripping cunt edging yourself closer to your release. At the precipice, you pull your fingers out and eagerly circle your clit, the other hand moving from gripping the bedsheets to pulling at and groping your nipples. Tsukki’s name leaves your lips like a fervent prayer as you cum to the thought of him. You never felt worse about yourself than you did at this moment, but somehow you found yourself here regularly. 

You didn’t know that at that exact same moment Tsukki was in his room thinking about you. The way your smaller hands would fit around his dick, the hesitation you might experience but be driven forward by lust. The thought of being the first and maybe the only person to touch you always drives him to his release. 

He might have fooled around with some girls before, a handjob here and there, amidst a make-out session, but he could never find it in himself to go further. He couldn’t, no, didn’t want to be with anyone else, because he knew that the whole time he would be thinking about you under him.

As you had aged, sleepovers became less frequent but were something the two of you still cherished and actively made time for. Tonight is one such night, having just finished your final midterms and gorging yourself on celebratory ramen from your favorite shop. Tsukki’s parents were out of town for the week, but were used to your presence in the house and didn’t mind you being over. 

You being there should have been fine, nothing out of the normal but that's not how fate works. 

Once you arrived at his place you both changed into lounge clothes getting ready to binge the latest season of Game of Thrones. You went to the kitchen to grab you both some water, knowing neither of you will want to get up once you start.

Tsukki must have had the same idea because as you rounded the corner of the kitchen, you were met with a brick wall and a frigid wave running through your body. You realized it wasn't through your body when your nipples began to harden, peaking through your now translucent shirt. While you are still shocked at the chill, Tsukki looks down to see what happened. Instead what he sees is you, accidentally exposed, the white shirt clinging to the curve of your body like a second layer of skin.

He knows that if he doesn’t avert his gaze that he won't be able to suppress a rising tent in his pants. Committing the image to memory quickly, he apologizes for being in the way, “Shit Y/N, I’m sorry. Feel free to go grab one of my shirts to change into. I’ll clean the mess up.” With that, he moves towards the kitchen to grab a towel, brushing against your body in the narrow hallway.

You head up to his room and go to his dresser, you’ve watched him put his laundry away before, knowing exactly where he keeps his biggest and most comfortable shirts. You strip off your shirt, skin pebbling at the breeze from his fan. Blushing at the fact you are taking your clothes off in your crush childhood friend room, you strip off your lounge shorts now noticing they also have been soaked.

As you pull his practice jersey on you notice it reaches your midthigh, which causes a brief internal conflict. Should I grab a pair of his shorts even though I know they’ll be too big? This shirt is longer than my shorts were anyways, but it’s not the most decent thing. The deciding factor in opting for no shorts was nothing to do with you, rather with the man waiting patiently downstairs. It had everything to do with the glint of intrigue in Tsukki’s eye you spotted earlier, the almost imperceptible hitch in his breath, and the burning touch he left on your body as he passed you in the hallway. 

Tsukki was not even thinking about what you would look like in his clothes as he had more urgent problems. His cock was achingly hard in his sweatpants, the gray not doing him any favors of hiding how he felt about seeing your body. He was doing everything he could think of to suppress both the thoughts of you and blood rushing downstairs. 

After quickly cleaning up the spill, he got situated on the couch with a blanket hoping it would help hide his current problem as he got it under control. Tsukki spent the remaining time of your absence struggling to distract himself, reciting poetry meditating, anything to not think about it, think about you, think about the curve of your che- fuck he was failing.

His eyes shot open at your weight landing next to him on the couch. Subtly looking over your form, that he now has burned into the back of his eyelids, seeing you drowning in his clothes, his volleyball clothes. Wait, is she just wearing my shirt? His gaze lingering on the soft expanse of your thighs, knowing that he should be able to see the hem of your shorts with the way you are sitting. The thought of you in your underwear almost makes him moan, his already hard dick twitching with precum budding at the tip.

You shoot him a smile, apologizing for taking so long and say you're ready to watch if he is. After some time has passed, the air is nipping at on your still slightly wet skin, you scoot closer to Tsukki and get under the blanket with him. The slight abrasion from his sweats on your skin sent electricity tingling throughout your body and unknowingly did the same to him. 

Reaching forward to grab a glass of water after a particularly gruesome scene, your phone tumbled out of your lap. Not really thinking you lean forward and grab it, slightly raising your ass into the air to reach the last few inches. You plop back down with a grunt and throw your arms open, hoping Tsukki would know that this is your way of saying you needed to take a break from the show for a bit.

Neither of you expected the moan that escaped his lips as you brushed across his now very obvious erection. Neither of you knew what to do after either, he flushed red with embarrassment and hid his face, you with your arm still where it landed on his thigh, unable to move. “Y/N, can you please move?.” he barely chokes out. The obvious restraint in his voice was a sound you had only previously daydreamed of. 

Driven by lust, or excitement, maybe even fear that another opportunity would arise, you do move, but not in the way he had intended. You get up off the couch and he's sure that you are getting ready to leave, disgusted with him, but instead, you settle in on your knees between his thighs. Doey-eyes looking up through your lashes with hesitant excitement. “Ok, I’ve moved, what next?”

Is the one thing he dreamed about is really happening? The actuality of it seems almost incredulous. “Y/N, stop joking, I’m sorry about this. They just kinda, happen sometimes.” He can’t meet your eye because he’s sure he would cum just from the sight of you between his legs. 

“If you don't want me here Kei, I’ll move, but I’m serious.” As you say his first name, another moan comes from his throat, spurring you to action. Biting your lip, you move the blanket and hesitantly grasp his erection. 

Tsukki is hazy with confusion but simultaneously everything is crystal clear with pleasure, unable to focus on anything due to the duality inside his head. Even if he wanted to tell you to stop, to stop and think, he wouldn’t be able to choke out the words.

He notices you aren’t really moving which is driving him mad until he looks down and sees just how pure you look. “Kei, I don’t-- I don’t really know what to do. Just tell me what you like and I’ll do my best.”

“Princess, are you sure you still want to do this?” as he pulls you up to eye level, cupping your cheeks. Seeing your nod and nervous smile, he leans forward to kiss you. 

The chill that had previously permeated your body is replaced with warmth, the feeling of his soft lips moving in time with yours, his gentle but assertive grip on your back acting as heat sources. It’s a comfortable warmth, an invitation into him.

You plan on taking that invitation as he deepens the kiss, one hand in the hair at his nape, the other returning to palm him through his sweats. As he stops your kiss, holding in a groan you take that opportunity to return to your original position in front of him. Waiting patiently, looking up at him for instruction with an absolutely pornographic gaze. 

Tsukki thought the image of your chest was the best thing he would ever see, but this takes the cake. Your hands playing with the waistband, with slight hesitation before pulling both his bowers and sweats down with his assistance. 

You knew what a dick looked like, but that doesn’t mean you are any less intimidated when one is just a few inches from your face. Long and curved, a prominent vein running up to the head that is flushed red and slick with precum. His hand rests on your head with the other on his thigh. Seeing his excitement on his face gives you enough encouragement to kitten lick his tip two times. “Fuck Y/N, please don’t tease me,” his voice wavering between a moan and a whine, you’ve never heard him sound so dependent, so needy before. 

Knowing that you are the one doing this to him gives you the confidence to start taking his dick in your mouth. You pause at the head, moving your tongue around, unsure what feels good until his grip on your head tightens as you rub against the bottom, just before the shaft. “Fuck pretty girl, please move your head down, please I wan--” A groan cuts him off as you follow his command. Slowly starting to bob along a portion of his length, with increasing speed.

“Spit on your hand and stroke the rest, god your mouth is heavenly” after pulling off to follow his command, you finally notice the familiar Tsukki-induced burning in your stomach, but amplified by a hundred when you see his cock twitch as you spit into your hand. He watched you with half-lidded eyes as you positioned your hand under your mouth, whispering uncharacteristically gentle words of praise.

Soft moans fall out of his mouth as you swirl your tongue around his head on every upward movement. Your hand mimicking the speed of your lips, trying to give him as much pleasure as you can. One particular comment of his shoots straight to your core, “Y/N, I never imagined you would make me feel this good.” The implication of him thinking about this, the same way you have, makes you moan around his dick, which in turn elicits a sharp intake from Tsukki.

His grip has been tightening on your head slowly, but all of a sudden he pulls you off. “Don’t wanna cum in your mouth without asking, just hand me a tissue.”

You never imagined Tsukki making the type of sound he did when you artlessly stuttered out “W-Well you have my permission.” 

Returning your tongue to his tip, which is now angrily red and coated in both spit and precum, it only takes a few seconds before he bucks into your mouth as he orgasms. His cock reaches further than you expected resulting in you choking as he hits the back of your throat, unintentionally intensifying his orgasm.

He pulls you off of him, grimacing at the cold air hitting his spent dick, bending forward to look you in the eye.. “Pretty girl, I’m so sorry for that last bit, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Are you ok?”

The pressure of his thumb wiping off a few spare tears makes you wonder what his touch would feel like on the rest of your body. As your mind delves into lewd thoughts, you shift your thighs looking for some pleasure, and give him an absentminded “It was fine, unexpected but I wanna make you feel good.”

He carefully sits you in his lap and pulls you into a deep kiss, slow but hungry. He moves down your jaw to your neck before whispering “Well, I guess it’s my turn to return the favor huh.” You bite back your moan, but as he harshly sucks a spot at the base of your neck it slips out. “You don’t have to hide your noises, princess, let me know how good everything feels.”

He runs his hands up and down your sides underneath his shirt before they find your chest. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve imagined these.” You tug your shirt off and do the same to him. Both of you are just marveling at the beauty in front of you with lust. 

He makes the first move, gently bringing your right nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it, as his left-hand switches randomly between rubbing along your side and massaging your left boob. The warmth of his tongue flicking against your pebbled bud is miles better than your own fingers, endless breathy moans falling out of your mouth as you find purchase for your hands in his hair. 

You must be unconsciously rutting against him because he stops his ministrations and stills your hips with a harsh grip. “Feeling needy now? Let me take care of you.” Tsukki rolls you off of him and you expect him to get on his knees in front of you, making you clench your knees both out of excitement and embarrassment. 

So when he lays down on the floor in front of you and shoots you a smug smirk, “Come take a seat,” your jaw drops in shock. 

“No, Tsukki, you don't have- What if I don’t taste good, please don’t worry about it-I don't want to suffoc-”  excuses and concerns pour out of your mouth but your body betrays you at the thought of him licking your sex.

“Y/N. Get over here. I want to do this and I’ll ensure you enjoy it.” His tone was commanding enough that you moved from the couch to straddling his head without a thought, losing your panties along the way. Your mind is murky with lust and anticipation, thoughts of how many times you’ve imagined his tongue on your clit being the only thing breaking through the fog. 

His tongue pierces through the haze as he runs the flat of it along your entire soaked core. Your body wants to pull away from the pressure but buck into the pleasure at the same time but Tsukki makes the decision for you, wrapping his arms around your thighs so you are snug against his face. 

He repeats the action, trying to coax a moan out of you, adding a little more force each time. It isn’t until the bridge of his nose brushes your clit that you finally let out the noises you’ve held in. “Kei- hi- fuck- higher,” breathy moans coat your words in lust.

 “Your wish is my command, princess.” His smug tone would have been annoying except for the fact that he was pressing hesitant licks against your clit eventually circling it with the tip of his tongue. You have no control over the whines you are making, only broken up by saying “yes Kei, yes, fuck” and other words of praise

Knowing how it felt when you moaned around his dick, he tries humming with his lips surrounding your clit and if he wasn’t already hard, he sure is now after the way you lewdly moaned his name and fiercely tugged his hair. 

The view of your tits heaving along with your breaths drive him to be a little more aggressive with his tongue, mercilessly switching between toying with your folds to harshly drawing shapes into your clit. 

Your cunt is drowning Tsukki in slick, coating his face and chin and he’s never been happier. Sucking your folds and using his tongue to taste all of you. He can't believe that anything has ever tasted better than you do right now.  

He can tell by the legs squeezing his head, and the shake of your entire body you are close to your orgasm. Wanting to try something new, he slides his tongue into your hole, causing you to grip his blonde locks so hard, you probably pulled some out. 

The wanton moans reverberating through the room are the only encouragement he needs to keep pressing his tongue against your tight walls. Your cunt so desperately wants to be filled its almost sucking his tongue in, but you know that alone won’t be enough to make you cum.

“ ‘m close, fuck. Please my clit, Kei please” The loss of his pressure in your cunt is overridden by the shockwaves of his lips around your clit, paired with him tracing letters and a deep moan from his throat. That was all you needed to be pushed over the edge. His moan continues as you ride out your high, hips jerking forward at the intensity.

As he pulls you into a sitting position on his lap, “Obviously I didn’t need instructions on how to make you feel good. I’ve thought about this for years.” You aren’t clear-headed enough to slap him like you usually would. All you can think about is the painful tension already building again in your core and his painfully hard dick pressed into your thigh.

You pull him into a kiss that conveys your unspoken words. Full of need and lust and wanting to make up for all of the time you lost. Your lips meet his harshly, like if you stop that it might disappear, afraid to pull back for air.

As he moves to your neck you instinctively rut your hips against him, looking for some form of release. Growling into your ear, “Oh, so one wasn't good enough for you? You want another orgasm?” 

“Well, It’s obvious you want another one,” matching his smugness with another roll that causes him to groan.

Before you can recognize it, he's flipped you over on your back and is hovering over you, eyes committing every inch of you to memory, drinking in the sight of your body, pebbled nipples, slick coating your thighs, love marks he's left thus far. It’s almost enough to make him go feral. 

Almost. 

“Y/N, are you sure you want to do this? We can stop. I really don’t mind.” The concern in his voice is clearly fighting against the lust, just barely winning over his more carnal desires. His answer comes in the form of your hand grabbing his dick and giving it a few soft, needy strokes.

“Please Tsukki, I need you in me. I’ve thought about this for so long, no way am I stopping” 

“Alright pretty girl,” and with that he returns to your deep kiss, your lips feeling like a home he never knew he left. He brings his hand down to your core, ghosting his fingers on your lips before teasing one finger in slowly. 

You hiss at the pleasure, hands finding stability rooted in his shoulders. He takes your bottom lip in between his teeth to help distract you while he rocks it in and out of your pussy. Quickly, he could tell that you were ready for a second and slipped it in, being met with you clawing at his shoulders while letting out a wanton moan.

Tsukki moves to place wet kisses along your neck and down to your chest, sucking every once in a while and then following it with a swipe of his tongue. You miss the pressure on your mouth, but you can feel another orgasm building, and it's getting harder to breathe. 

You genuinely do stop breathing when he takes one nipple in his mouth and uses his free hand to start rubbing circles into your clit. Well, if this is the way I die, I don’t really have any complaints. The coil in your stomach is about to snap and the only warning you can get out is slapping his shoulders.

The wave almost knocks you out, back arching off the floor while also trying to get more from the man between your legs. Inserting a third finger stretched you so good, he watches you try to fuck yourself on his hand through the orgasm, greedily wanting more. 

“You ready, pretty girl? Ready to take my cock?”

“Shit yes, Kei, please fuck me. I’ve dreamed about cumming on your dick, please please--” you are reduced to babbling pleas when he runs his dick along your slit coating himself in your slick. The jolt of pleasure every time his head hits your already over-stimulated bud edges on pain but you don’t want him to stop. 

You see stars and hear symphonies when he thrusts into you. A duet of his staccato grunts and your euphonic moans, accompanied by the fortissimo sounds of your pussy as he slides in. After taking a rest for you to adjust to his girth, his pace starts off slow but gradually increasing as you beg him for more. 

“Fuck, please, fill me up, god I never thought your cock would feel so good, Fuck” 

Your babbling praise is reduced to a high pitched whine when he starts slamming into you harder than before. The heavy slaps of his hips into yours replacing your moans in the melody. You barely process his words as the tip of his cock slams into your cervix with no remorse, over and over and over again. 

“Did I just hear you say you didn’t think my cock would feel good? Do you want to go back to cumming on your fingers to the thought of me or do you want me to continue stretching your tiny little pussy out?” 

Tsukki never minced his words, but the sheer lewdness of them causes heat to rise in your face. “N-no Kei. Please help, shit, me. Wanna cum on your dick so b- so bad.” His answer is to push one of your legs back towards your shoulder, the new position and the curve of his cock has him hitting that spot inside you always struggled to reach. 

Every muscle in your body is tensed up, burning from the desire to cum. Shockwaves of pleasure radiating from your pussy reach the tips of your toes and through every hair on your head. 

Your walls are clenching around him, wanting him deeper, even though there isn’t really any room left for him. Your body is driven by lust and disregards any pain you should be feeling, rather interpreting it as a different octave of pleasure. 

You find your fingers on your chest, groping and tweaking your nipples, knowing that you get even more sensitive when you are ready to orgasm. “Kei, please cum in me, I wanna cum but I wanna, no I need to do it with you,” it sounds more like a moan or a plea than a request, but Tsukki was already struggling to hold back his own orgasm.

He took your lead, moving his mouth down to your chest and rolling your other nipple against his tongue. Simultaneously, he snakes a hand down to your vagina, to the spot you begged him to touch earlier and rubs meticulous circles on your puffy and neglected clit..

Your back arches off the floor at the first touch of your clit, and your cunt clenched around his dick, making it even harder for Tsukki to thrust in and out. Your orgasm is stronger than its ever been, you’re certain you blacked out for a minute, only coming to when you hear a hearty moan from Tsukki and another wave of warmth in your sex, this time coming from him.

His forehead pressed against your chest as he fucks you through both of your orgasms, hand still curling your clit, attempting to extend the euphoria you both feel for as long as he can. Your hands find their way into his hair and you gently tug and scratch his scalp, making him look up at you. 

Your face may be covered in tears, and spit but he’s never looked at you with more adoration. You continue to pull him up to your face, placing sweet kisses all over his face as you both ride out the last waves of your high, his dick still inside of you. Wincing as he pulls out to lay down on the floor, he ends up pulling you into an embrace.

You look over to his content face, illuminated by the television,  eyes closed with a ghost of a smile dancing over his lips before he murmurs, “I never knew Game of Thrones sex scenes were quite so realistic, but I’m not complaining.” 

“God, Tsukki you’re so annoying,” you say trying to shove him off of you with a laugh, but he just holds you tighter. 

“I like it better when you call me Kei.”

Tags

@ceo-of-daichi @roandtheroses @sugawara-sweetheart @nonexistent-social-life​

[airi-p4]

Ice Dreams - Chapter 1

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | ...

Lukanette Figure Skating AU? Lukanette Figure Skating AU.

I’ve been planning this for more than one year already ( @mamanabeille​ knows ) but Freya’s recent art for me fueled me to finish the first 2 chapters (out of more than 60...)

Header art is traditional art drawn by me about one year ago - Full pic HERE.

Summary

Despite being very talented and loving to skate, Marinette is determined to quit Figure Skating after the lack of decent results and the great amount of stress and pressure on her shoulders.

On the other hand, Juleka and Luka are average skaters in pairs category who, after years of hard work, have finally started showing some good results. But suddenly, Juleka is forced to retire, leaving Luka at the verge of retirement because of his need for a partner.

Can Juleka convince Luka and Marinette to give figure skating a second chance? Can they form a bond strong enough to reach the top and accomplish their dreams? Could something more than partnership spark between them?

AO3

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CHAPTER 1: Marinette

Figure skating can appeal to people for many reasons: the competitive part, the artistry, the music arrangements, the performances…

For Marinette figure skating was everything- her whole life.

When she was happy, she would love to skate. When she was sad, skating never failed to cheer her up. She was athletic, flexible and talented, gifted by both technique and artistry, as well as tenacity to work hard and never give up. Skating was an irreplaceable part of her life.

WAS.

In past tense.

Because even when it’s pleasant to watch the beautiful programs the skaters have to offer, there’s something that never changes during competitions: the scores are what really matter. Fail one element and you're screwed. Keep the program perfect but with minimum difficulty, you're off the podium. Do perfect in practice but fail in front of the judges: it's over.

This was Marinette's case.

Recently, consistency always failed her in competitions, and it had been a letdown to see how the past seasons had been going blank for her, without any outstanding accomplishment, despite her being on top almost all of her childhood. Her effort, and full potential didn’t show off on her competition results.

Marinette's parents and her coach, Miss Bustier, associated her disappointing results to her mentor’s and grandmother’s passing. But Marinette was well aware that the main reason behind her failures wasn't only how much she missed her granny; the real cause had a girl’s name: Lila Rossi.

It had already been 2 years since Lila joined her training classes under Miss Bustier's teachings. And everything had gone downhill after that.

It's not that she hadn't already been enduring bullying from Chloe Bourgeois, but Lila's bullying was at a whole different level.

The pressure, the expectations, the stress, the bullying, the injuries and damaged property, the struggle her parents went through to pay for her classes and competitions, how she had to sew her own dresses because she didn’t have the money to buy them, how she almost had no friends left... Everything piled up for years and made her finally crumble. Her skating consistency was affected and led only to constant failure.

In the end, she was exhausted, and no matter how much she loved ice skating, she reached her limit. She surpassed her limit.

Lila Rossi had won.

For two weeks now, since her last failure at a National Competition, Marinette had been skipping her skating classes. Coach Bustier was always exceptionally kind to her, and had been considerate (in her own way) this time as well, suggesting she take a few days to rest and get back again when she felt confident again.

But Marinette didn't intend to return under her coaching. Instead, she had set her mind to resign from her classes and, probably, even quit figure skating too.

She couldn’t take it anymore.

The most talented skater of the decade was seriously considering quitting skating for good. And it made her sad, but she couldn’t see any other way out of the spiral of failures she was caught in. No one was there to get her out of the dark hole she was buried in.

She certainly didn’t expect a second chance in figure skating.

_________________________________

During the days she didn't go to her classes, Marinette always spent her time at the Miraculous Ice Skate Rink, where her 'grandfather', Master Wang Fu worked as a manager, taking care of the installation and the opening and shutting down hours, along with the material to rent and the tickets for open to public times. Being her mother’s uncle, she had been babysat by him and his wife since she was a little kid. It was, in fact, Marianne Lenoir, was the one who taught Marinette the skating basics and the one who made her start practicing and love figure skating since she was 3 years old.

Marinette loved her grandparents a lot, and the passing of Miss Lenoir still pained her everyday. After her tragic loss, they became even closer, especially when Master Fu gave Marinette his late wife's earrings as a memento - he knew she would have given them to her at some point, since she loved the dark-haired girl a lot. And with no children on their own, Marinette was the closest they had to a daughter or granddaughter. Marinette had promised to treasure the earrings. They had a ladybug’s design engraved on them, only visible when light illuminated themfrom a certain angle. They were very mysterious and unique, and Marinette had loved them since her eyes had fallen on them. After becoming their owner, not even once she took them off. She felt the luck on her side as long as she wore them.

Except, that wasn’t the case anymore.

Marinette had her own theory of how Lila might have corrupted them when she touched them once, since all her luck was now gone from her side from that moment onwards.

On the ice, Marinette skated a little. But when she attempted to jump, a memory of her last competition crossed her mind and she fell down. Instead of standing up like always, she stayed seated on the floor, tears falling down her cheeks.

"Marinette! Are you ok? Did you get hurt?" asked Fu, worried. Rushing (as much as his old legs allowed him to) to aid her.

"Master-! I- I-... I can't skate anymore!" She broke down to cry even harder.

"That's not true, Marinette. You're just feeling discouraged now because of your recent results in competition. It's normal to feel like that. It will be ok"

"No Master…  It's not just competitions… It's everything… Lila, Chloe, my coach, my parents, my friends…and I miss Granny Marianne so much... I'll never be able to follow her steps now… I should just be realistic and give up..."

"Don't say that, dear. You have luck on your side. Like a ladybug. Lady Chance. You are talented enough to overcome this. I’m sure Marianne would be proud of you, even if you don't follow her steps. And you know? There's no need to compete if you don't feel like doing it. Many people just skate for fun or minor competitions. I’m sure the future has good things prepared for you. You just need to keep moving and you’ll find the right path to follow. And whatever you choose to do, we'll be proud of you. The doors to this ice rink are open for you to come whenever you want to"

That's right. She could skate without competitions. She could focus on something else and have skating as a hobby. Maybe she could make a living out of a figure skating outfit designer…

It was settled. She was quitting. And she was telling her parents tonight.

"Thank you, Master. I know what I want to do now" she answered, giving him a heartfelt hug. Fu smiled at her and patted her back a little, happy to see her smile was back on her face and how his granddaughter's tears had finally stopped.

___________________________

Marinette was very nervous when she arrived home. She tried to sneak to her room without being noticed, but her mother had been waiting for her, with a deeply worried expression on her face. Marinette gulped. 'She has probably found out I've been skipping my classes' she thought, but her mother's mind was focused on something else- more serious. Something the girl didn’t expect or could have imagined.

“Marinette. Calm down and listen to me. Are you still friends with Juleka?”

Marinette blinked: that was not the question she expected. She sighed before answering, confused about her mother’s unusual distress.

“Yes, mom. It’s been a long while since we’ve last seen or talked to each other, but she is my friend”. She paused for a second. “Why do you ask? You’re scaring me...”

Sabine Cheng took a deep breath before answering “Marinette… Juleka is at the hospital”.

Marinette’s mother’s grip on her shoulders wasn’t strong enough to keep the girl from jumping in shock, neither stopped her from panicking a second later.

“What!? What happened to her!? Is she ok!?”

“Calm down, Marinette. She’s ok. She just fainted. She…” Sabine paused, hesitating, before continuing with the explanation. “She’s been diagnosed with an eating disorder”

Marinette felt a rush of mixed feelings forming inside of her: but between sadness and worrisome, anger was the first emotion to come out of her body.

“No…! No way! I’m sure it’s all Chloé’s fault! She used to make mean comments about her body since we were little. Her ideas must have grown bigger in Juleka’s mind! Just because she was taller and larger than many of us…! And now Juleka is…! Juleka is…!”

The spiral of emotions she was feeling ended up falling in the form of tears, again, in a crying whimper. Sabine, worried for her daughter, cupped her cheek and let her cry until she calmed down a little. It was not easy for her to wait patiently to ask her what she had really wanted to know after she had heard about Juleka’s condition, but she knew the girl needed to let it out, even if it hurt her to see her daughter crying like that. It almost felt like there was something more behind the salty water spilling from her eyes, but she remained silent until her sobbing sounds ended, being engulfed by the silence of the living room. When the wait finally was over, Sabine Cheng spoke again, looking straight to her eyes.

“Marinette, I need to ask you something. And please, be honest with me" Marinette gulped and nervously nodded. "Are you eating properly? You’re not throwing it out, aren’t you? I know you’ve always been thin, but I can’t help it but worry about you… You know how common eating disorders are in figure skating… And with what happened to Juleka and how discouraged you look recently…”

Marinette tensed at her mother’s question, more offended than shocked. “Of course not, maman! I’m properly eating what you put on my plate! I would never waste what it takes you so much work. I’m grateful I always have freshly baked bread on my plate”

Marinette’s mother relaxed at her daughter's answer, hugging her.

“Good. That’s good. I’m so glad. So relieved. Thank you, Marinette”. She spoke again after breaking the hug. “I think you should pay Juleka a visit. Here’s the room number and the hospital address. You should be there for her”

“Thank you for telling me, maman. I’ll visit her tomorrow morning”, the girl said, grabbing the paper with Juleka’s hospital contact from her mother’s hand.

“Good girl. I’m proud of you”

“Thank you, maman…” the twin-tailed girl managed to answer, feeling both happy and nauseous for the trust in her mother’s eyes. The thought of seeing disappointment on her parents' face terrified her.

‘No… I definitely can’t tell my parents yet…’ she thought.

_______________________

When Marinette arrived at Juleka's hospital room, she wasn't alone. The door was partially opened and she saw a blue-haired boy standing beside her. As soon as she knocked on the door, the boy noticed her and approached, with an interrogative and sad expression on his face. He was handsome despite his sad expression, Marinette thought, distracted for a second.

"I- I'm- Juleka...?" She managed to say, and the boy just nodded.

“Juleka, you have a visitor. I’ll let you two talk privately" he said, turning his head to the girl in the bed. "Thank you for coming,” he solemnly told Marinette before leaving the room.

“Thank you” she said when getting inside, without looking at him.

It had been a while since Marinette had talked to Juleka. It had been more difficult to keep in touch after she switched to pairs skating some years ago, even if they still exchanged messages and hung out together sometimes.

“Juleka, how are you? I heard you fainted and…” Her feet moved slowly towards her friend as she greeted her, but she gasped when she saw her figure: she couldn't be healthy looking the way she did.

“Marinette. Thanks for coming” Juleka weakly smiled.

“Juleka, look at you! You look so skinny! You have to eat! You shouldn’t listen to what people or magazines say, it’s dangerous! You need to be healthy.”

“I am healthy" she assured her, but Marinette's worried eyes made her admit her problem. "But… you’re right. There’s no need for me to keep throwing out my food. I’m retiring from figure skating”

"What?" Marinette gasped, and Juleka reaffirmed her words with a nod. “Oh no, Juleka! I know you loved it… I’m so sorry for you…” The baker's daughter sympathized.

“It’s Ok, Marinette. Thank you… I’m actually more worried about my brother. We were a team and now his dream is crushed because of me… He can’t compete without a partner and… I’ve wasted everything…”

“Oh, Juleka…”, she warmly hugged her friend.

Not wanting to talk more about her eating disorder, Juleka asked Marinette a question.

“What about you, Marinette? How are things going? Are you getting closer to your dream? You were always first place no matter what! I bet you’ve been improving and setting even higher scores by now. I wouldn’t be surprised if you could even land a triple axel!”

“I can land it, actually! It’s just… for some reason I can’t seem to land any of my jumps lately during competitions… I keep failing over and over… and then there’s Chloé and Lila… You know… I’m thinking of quitting…” she said in a sigh.

“Oh no, Marinette! You can’t quit! You are the most skilled and talented skater I’ve ever seen. Your scores as a child were in another league! You are bound to make history in figure skating, I know you do. You can’t quit!”

“It’s not a matter of skill anymore, Juleka… It’s a matter of results and wasted effort. I just… I can’t do it anymore. I can’t keep my parents overworking to pay for my skating classes with me failing every single jump in competition. I can’t look at their disappointed looks every time I fail their expectations. And Lila’s bullying only keeps escalating while my coach never believes anything I say… I’m not motivated anymore. I don’t have the strength to keep trying...”

Marinette looked devastated as she spoke. Quitting figure skating couldn't make her happy. Juleka knew she would be feeling even worse than herself. She didn't like to see her friend like that.

“Are you sure, Marinette? Because I think it’s a waste. You could win an Olympic gold medal if you aimed for it. It’s just… so frustrating…”

“Juleka…”

After a long silence, Juleka set her determination and faced a surprised Marinette with a serious look on her eyes.

“No. Marinette, I can’t let you quit like that! Look at me. I’ve been forced to quit because of my condition. I wanted to keep skating! I didn’t want to stop! And yet… you say you want to quit. My brother says he wants to quit. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!? You have no consideration for me or for yourselves!" She yelled and then paused to take a deep breath. "Marinette, look at my face and tell me again you want to quit! Can you do it?”

“I-... I want to… " Marinette paused, unable to lie. "I want to keep skating!" She finally admitted. "But I can’t anymore, Juleka! I’ve tried to endure it, I’ve tried so hard! And yet… Nothing! It’s just useless. What’s the point when I’m starting to feel that skating is not fun anymore?”

“Oh no, Marinette, you can’t say that! You can’t give up your dream so easily. Who was that skater you admired? Your grandmother? Miss Lenoir? You dreamed of being like her someday! Graceful, elegant yet strong; sliding on the ice like if you were an angel coming from heaven, announcing salvation to all the graceful public crying tears of joy at your beautiful movements. I know you can do it, Marinette. You just need something or someone to…" Juleka paused for a moment. "Wait, I… I have an idea. Why don’t you try pairs skating for a while?”

Marinette was taken aback at her friend's suggestion.

“What? What are you talking about? I told you I want to… to quit…”

“No. Listen to me. You just need to try it out. You try, and I won’t oppose you quitting if you decide to do so after you’ve tried it out.”

“What’s the deal…?”, Marinette said, unconvinced.

“I want you to take my place. I want you and my brother to help each other recover your motivation, your goals, your dreams. We just got a decent score for international competitions and I… I messed up. He did his best and improved a lot. He could score high, to the top maybe, with the right partner… and I think you’re a better fit partner than I could ever be” she said in a weak sigh.

“But- I don’t even know your brother. And I’ve never done pair skating before! And most importantly- there’s no way I could fill in your place! Nobody can! I'm sure you’re important for your brother, and he doesn’t even know me! He won’t want me to pair with him anyway” Marinette protested.

“That’s my part. I’ll convince him to give you a chance. So I need you to give pairs skating a chance, too. You both still have a second chance in figure skating. And I bet you can reach the top in a few years'', Juleka smiled. Her eyes showed conviction in her words, but Marinette had doubts.

“Are you sure he-?” she started, but Juleka cut her, knowing how the question ended.

“I’m sure. Just give it a try. For me. For our friendship. I want you to skate on my behalf. Please... I’m begging you, Marinette. Just one week. One more chance. I’m sure you won’t regret it. No, I promise you won’t”

“Ok, Juleka… I’ll do it. Just one try. No more. I’m quitting if I can’t keep it up. Or if your brother doesn’t like me…”

“He’ll like you. He just needs to meet you.” she smiled in reassurance and Marinette hugged her.

Marinette, noticing the time, broke the hug and spoke again. "I have to go now, but I’ll come again next week. Get well soon, please”

“Thank you, Marinette. For coming and for accepting my selfish request. I’ll send you a message later.”

“Of course, you are still my dear friend, Juleka. Get well soon, ok?”

“I’ll try… Thank you for coming”, she answered, waving her goodbye. ‘Now I need to convince Luka…' she thought, eyeing her friend crossing through the door.

[nova-is-a-writer-now]

Fools

[[zuko x reader]]

->next

Summary: Zuko and Y/N had liked eachother for a while even though neither of them knew it. Y/N tries to get over her crush for him, failing miserably. So just when she decides to let go and embrace her feelings, the new Fire lord finds himself feeling jealous and decides to take matters into his own hands

A/N: this is the first Zuko/ATLA fic i’ve ever written, so go easy on me plssss, i just finishes the show a couple days ago (a little late ik) and ever since then i’ve been OBSESSED with this man (if he’s too ooc pls let me know) . This is set a while after the coronation and it’s an AU where zuko and mai were never a thing. Hope y’all like this <3

ps: this may get a little long, i’m writting this before i finish it but i get a feeling it’s gonna be a long one so be prepared lol also it will most definitely have a pt.2 if y’all like it.

Warnings: Angst but it’ll end well i promise, swearing

-IF YOU HAVE ANY REQUESTS DONT HESITATE TO ASK-

Things after the war ended had been chaotically peaceful. Turns out that leading an entire nation, specially when it was the one that caused the war, and reuniting the lands that had for so long been against eachother was harder than all of you thought. The fact that a group of teenagers were the head of the operation wasn’t a big advantage either.

Sure, Aang and Zuko, who were the ones who had the most important positions when it came to politics and diplomacy, had advisors and people around to help guide them, but it was still a hard job. Nevertheless, without a war or fighting, you were sure it was good for the entire group to keep busy. They’d kept a lifestyle of always moving around and being on guard for so long it would’ve been a big shock to be forced to stay still after that.

Katara and Sokka travelled back and forth from the Southern Water Tribe to the Fire nation a few times, not too often though because of how far apart the two were. That was a shame because of how close you’d grown to Katara and her motherly self, her advice and her unconditional friendship, and even to Sokka and his bad jokes, his way of teasing everyone and how he could make you smile even when you weren’t in the mood, you even missed how mad he made you sometimes. Suki went with them to spend some time away from everything, she loved her life as a Kioshi warrior but she decided she needed a break after everything she had gone through.

Aang, on the other hand, was traveling all over but mostly between the Earth kingdom, were he would very often meet with Katara, and the Fire nation. You got to see him way more often than you got to see Katara, Suki and Sokka, although he tended to be busy with avatar business. He was doing a great job, you had to admit. The people loved him, he found a way to spread his teachings and the teachings of the Air nomads to the world and uniting others helping them put aside their differences seemed to be his thing now more than ever. But most importantly he seemed truly happy, one time he even told you he finally felt like he was making all the air nomads proud, wherever they were.

Toph still wanted to be away from her parents, so she refused to go back to the Earth Kingdom. She hated the cold, not being able to use her seismic senses in the snow and being bossed around by katara, so she refused to go with them too. So when you offered her to stay with you, she accepted. She made it seem as though it was her last choice because she had to keep her tough girl reputation, but actually she liked you a lot, she saw you kind of as a big sister. You took care of her in a way no one had before, not seeing her as helpless and weak but still being there for her when she needed you. Though she’d never tell this to anyone aloud.

And Zuko was still Zuko, just that now he was a Firelord. He took his job very seriously, determined to prove wrong everyone who had said he was too young or too weak for it. He knew the big responsibility he had in his hands and he seemed to be doing really well. He had his moments, of course, where he would have outbursts of emotion and anger, but he always found his way back to being who he needed to be for his Nation, and you always helped with that. He was the one who suggested you stayed in the Fire nation as a representative of the Northern Water tribe. You were hesitant at first, but after thinking the idea over you realized you had no business up in the tribe, you’d been away for a long time and you weren’t ready to go back just yet.

The two of you had never been incredibly close in the time since he joined the gaang, but you couldn’t denied there was a connection between the two. You got his humor and he got yours, you could tease eachother all day without getting butthurt, you could open up and talk about deep stuff under the stars on a sleepless night, and spending time with him seemed easier to do than with most people. You’d brushed this off as the two of you being good friends for a good while, even after you moved into the palace and started to hang out with him more, but for the past few weeks it’s been getting harder to do.

Every time Toph, him and you ate lunch together and he sat in front of you, you couldn’t help but end up staring at him, not in a weird, creepy way but in a ‘I’m mesmerized by you why am i mesmerized by you and since when are your eyes such a beautiful shade of gold’ way. You were in denial about it but deep down you knew you were starting to have a crush on him, and eventually Toph caught up to it too.

One night after diner she pulled you into her room, closed the door and said “Listen, Snow queen, I’m kinda tired of your heart going crazy every time mister flaming pants is around so you either get over your little crush, tell him how you feel or I will personally snitch on you directly to him, understood?” You didn’t even have the guts to deny it to her, specially since she’d know if you were lying, so you just heavily sighed and looked at the floor. She must’ve felt bad for you cause she took your hand and dragged you to sit on her bed to interrogate you about the situation.

“Out of anyone you could’ve ended up liking I never saw this one coming” she told you taking a seat on the opposite side of the bed

“Don’t get me started” you threw yourself back to the bed and stared at the ceiling for a second before speaking again “Like how dumb do I have to be to crush on someone who isn’t only probably the busiest man on all kingdoms right now, but also royalty and... well Zuko. He would never like a girl like me and even if he did, he probably has to end up with a princess or something.”

“I’m not letting you drown in a pity party here, ok?” Toph pulled your wrist and forced you to sit back up and look at her. “He’s lucky a girl as decent as you is willing to put up with that temper of his and how annoying he can get. Now what are you gonna do about it?”

“Nothing?” You replied in a low voice not taking a second to think about it. Toph punched you in the arm in response “Hey, what was that for?”

“What I said before still stands, I can’t deal with you being all flustered every time he’s around, so get over it or tell him how you feel.” She spat and all you could do was grunt and throw yourself back into the bed

So you were gonna get over it then. Easy task. Never done anything easier before.

It wasn’t.

Turns out that by trying to avoid Zuko at all costs you ended up stumbling into him even more. Around the corners, in the hallways, everywhere. The plan was to just avoid him as much as possible until eventually your feelings faded away, you couldn’t have a crush on someone you didn’t even see right? Wrong. Even when you weren’t around Zuko he was still on your mind. You tried to go to the palace library and distract yourself with literature, but reading romance books only made you feel more miserable and the only other option there was were war strategy books which you weren’t very interested in. The next distraction you chose was gardening, you loved nature and you were a water bender, it was the perfect task you thought, but once again you were wrong. You turned out to be such a bad gardener, Kya who was the one in charge of the royal gardens (and who was the sweetest lady) ended up banning you from messing with her flowers ever again. The last thing you could think of to stay away from Zuko was feeding the turtle ducks. It seemed like a good idea and on the few occasions you’d been in the pond before, the little animals seemed to be very fond of you. You couldn’t mess this one up, anyone could feed the ducks, but there was a little problem as it seemed to be the theme of that day, the Fire lord had forgotten to tell you that the pond was his place of choice when he needed to clear his head.

You didn’t even notice he was there until you heard his voice behind you. “Keep feeding them like this and they’ll get obese”

You jumped a bit out of surprise and turned around to face him with your palm pressed to your chest. “Spirits, Zuko, don’t do that to me, you’re gonna kill me one of these days” It was a bright and sunny day, the heat of the Fire nation weather made his face glimmer a little, his hair was up held by the royal Fire lord hair piece and he was wearing a version of his formal attire made for a hotter weather, leaving his muscly arms on display. As soon as you realized you were staring once again, you turned your attention back to the pond in an attempt to hide the blush that was slowly conquering your cheeks.

He took a sit next to you and waited a couple seconds before breaking the silence. “Hey... um... I don’t know if this is just me but you’ve been acting weird lately, is everything ok?” He asked looking at you.

“Everything is fine, definitely just you.” you replied not taking your eyes away from the shining water of the pond. The ducks had grown tired of waiting for you to keep feeding them and swam away.

“I... don’t think so. You didn’t come to breakfast today, everytime we’re together you seem to wanna leave as soon as possible and right now you can’t even look at me.” He paused before taking in a deep breath. “Did... did I do something to upset you?”

You finally turned around to look at him and the look you saw in his eyes was heartbreaking. Ever since he joined Team Avatar, Zuko had been making a huge effort to be good. You could see how sometimes he struggled to pick being kind and gentle over being erratic and explosive, and you also knew that had a lot to do with his childhood. But he had been doing such a good job at it, specially since he became Fire lord, he was so much more friendly, better at socializing and overall improving. And right now it was clear to you that you had made him feel like he was failing at being a good person and he’d somehow messed up with you.

You turned your body around slightly and put a reassuring hand on his knee before saying “Oh, Zuko, no. You haven’t done anything and I’m not upset at you, I mean that. It’s just...” coming up with lies and excuses had always been your strong point but having Zuko there making you ridiculously nervous wasn’t a factor that helped. “I.. uh...I’m getting a little homesick, you know? With Toph gone most of the day and you busy, I’ve been feeling a little melancholic about my home, but it’s nothing I promise. I’m just trying to find something to do with my time.” You we’re impressed with yourself with this one, it actually sounded pretty convincing.

You thought you had the situation handled until Zuko spoke again a few seconds later. “Y/N, I’m sorry. I hadn’t realized until now with all the chaos of being Fire lord but I asked you to stay here and represent the Northern Water tribe and I haven’t even given you time out of my day. I haven’t been the best host, have I?” Before you could even reply he widened his eyes and said “I have an idea, tomorrow I’ll take the day off and we can go on a small field trip to this cabin my family has on the ourskirts of town, there are some nice fields and it’s very peaceful, we’ll have a picnic lunch there and just relax. You can even ask Toph to come with. How does that sound?”

He looked at you expectantly and you started to look for reasons to turn him down, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. It was true that you hadn’t had much time to spend with him ever since he took his position, and in all honesty, crush or not you really did miss him. Your weakness for him won the battle and you ended up accepting the plan saying it was a great idea. The regent stood up from his place and assuring you he’d have everything ready for the next day he left.

You really had messed up this time.

—————

The next morning you put on a flowy, flower-print dress. It was classy but at the same time comfortable and light enough to handle the summer weather. You had nervously been looking at yourself in the mirror for way too long now. Before dinner the past night you at least had hopes that Toph would come with to the field trip and she would help you contain yourself when it came to Zuko, but of course that wasn’t the case. When he had brought the topic up at the table Toph limited herself to look at you knowingly and say “You know what? I happen to be very busy tomorrow, you know, I’m trying to get a name for myself in the Fire nation’s fighting scene and I have a fight tomorrow, sorry.” You knew she was lying because she had told you about her fight but instead of the next day it was three days from then. All you could do was look at the little devil and make sure you wrote a mental note of getting back at her as soon as you could.

So here you were, minutes ago from embarking in a field trip with the person you were supposed to avoid, and you had no idea how you were gonna get out of this one.

A knock on your door startled you and took you out of your worrying thoughts. A few seconds later a maid’s head popped in as she said “Lady Y/N, Firelord Zuko and the carriage are ready for you.” You took a deep breath and walked towards the door while replying with a soft “Thank you, Yun”

The carriage waited for you in front of the palace and so did Zuko. He was already inside, sheltering himself from the unforgiving sun, so you startled him when you hopped inside. “Y/N, you look...nice” he complimented you, a faint blush running through his cheeks making him gain a more childish and youthful look.

“Thank you, Zuko. Likewise.” You responded attempting to stay as calm as you could. You hated that he had so much power over you.

He ordered for you to be in your way before the carriage started moving swiftly. Your eyes flowed to the window, looking out at the capital city of the Fire nation. “You’ve done a great job leading this people. They look... so happy.” You drew your eyes back at Zuko as he stared at you. It was you who was starting to blush now.

“I hope so. I’ve done everything I’m capable of to change the old ways of this nation. I hope I’m making the right choices.” A worrisome look took over his eyes as he let his own attention drift towards the streets.

“Hey” you called to him as you stretched your hand to cover his. “You’re doing just fine Zuko. You’ve done so much for these people and all the other nations as well, I’m sure you’ll do even more good.”

He faintly smiled at you as a response and you could tell that although he did worry about the future, your reassurance helped.

The rest of the ride was spent pointing out the animals you saw on the road, sharing childhood stories about when Zuko and his mom used to come here when they both needed to get away from everything, and a bit of teasing about how Zuko had no idea what to pack for a picnic and had to ask the head chef of the kitchen for help. Luckily you had become friends with chef Karou in the time you’d been living in the palace and he knew your taste rather well.

When you finally arrived there was no sight of the usual movement and noise proper of a big city, the air was filled with the peculiar scent of flowers you couldn’t recognize just yet and grass. In the distance at your left you could see a small cattle of Hippo cows and Komodo chickens. And at your right a long field of grass and flowers that seemed to go up in a small and almost unnoticeable hill.

You and Zuko stepped down the carriage just as a guard handed him the picnic basket. The tall regent turned to you and ordered “Follow me, I wanna show you something”. You did as you were told, being led by him all the way up the hill until you were at the very top. When the two of you got there your breath was taken away by the beautiful view you had in front of you. A huge field of flowers layed gracefully at the end of the hill and extended far enough that it connected to the horizon.

“This is...” you started but were so taken aback by the view you didn’t finish your sentence.

Zuko seemed to understand regardless and replied “I know.” Behind you he started to set up a cloth for the two of you to sit on. You forced yourself to remove your attention from the field and place it on what was going on behind you. Taking a seat on the opposite end of the cloth you helped him take out all the items chef Karou had packed for you. When you were done you looked at Zuko and said “Thanks for this. It’s really nice.”

“No need to thank me, I’ve been leaving you alone so much time lately. I know aside from Toph I’m pretty much all you have here so take this as a ‘Sorry I’ve been a terrible friend’ offering.” He smiled wide expecting you to do the same but that smile faded away as soon as he saw the expression on your face.

‘Friend’

The word echoed in your head as your eyes dropped to the food you had in front of you. Of course he saw you as a friend. You had almost convinced yourself you should confess your feelings to him and he goes on to call himself your friend. A knot in your throat started to form and you did your best to show it as little as you could. But you obviously failed.

“Everything ok?” Zuko asked tilting his head to catch your eyes.

You looked up and faked a smile. “Yeah... just thinking how far we’ve come.” You lied through your teeth before continuing. “Anyways, enough of all the cheesiness, I’m starving.”

“Agreed” He replies picking up something for himself. You chose a small salty biscuit with a mix of meats on top and decided to distract yourself with it. “Chef Karou said you’d like that one. He also said you hated onions and peas. What type of weirdo hates peas?”

You chuckled a little, the feeling that oppressed your chest fading away quickly. “I do. They’re disgusting and if you like them I don’t trust you.”

Zuko laughed loudly before remarking “Its not like I like them, Y/N. It’s just a weird thing to be picky over. They’re peas, they don’t really taste like anything.”

You widened your eyes and quickly swallowed the bite of biscuit you had taken. “What do you mean they don’t taste like anything? They taste disgusting and they are mushy and just... gross”

Zuko replies with another laugh. His laugh made you feel warm inside, it could make you forget about everything, Toph’s threats, your previous plans and even the now faint voice poking the back of your mind telling you to be careful or you’d get your heart broken.

The two of you kept eating and chattering at the same time. You’d finished the salty food and it came time for the desert. Chef Karou had made a type of cake and stored it inside a small glass jar. You tried opening the lid but it was too hard. You heard Zuko in front of you offering you help but you refused it telling him you could do it on your own. After a couple minutes of struggling , Zuko took your deep sigh as a sign of defeat and scooted closer to you. “Here, let me.” He took the jar from your hands and quickly opened the lid, handing it back to you. You looked up expecting to find a smug smirk that felt way to familiar to you at this point but instead you found his serious face dangerously close to yours.

You took the jar back and set in down. “Thanks” you muttered softly and quietly. His only response was to slowly but firmly raise a hand up to your face to put away a strand of hair that had fallen. His touch sent shivers down your spine. All thoughts of caution escaped your mind as you felt his face so close you could feel his warm breath mixing with yours. The tension between you seemed to almost be to much to handle when you thought you saw Zuko lean in a little. Before anything else could happen, one of the guards that had come with and stayed back where the carriage was spoke. “Firelord Zuko”

The golden eyed boy dropped his hand from your face and turned around to face the guard. “Have they not taught you to not interrupt people when they’re talking privately?”

“I am very sorry, Firelord.” The guard bowed in sign of respect. “But we have just received a messenger hawk with a letter from the palace. The Avatar and you other friends are here.”

[hyrule-kingdom-updates]

Astor nodded. He and paced the hall and muttered under his breath.

“I see...I never meddled in the realm of technology...but to think that Sheikah Technology could hold such a secret.” He tapped his chin, staring at the astrolabe on the other side of the dungeon bars. “I suppose it makes sense. The advanced accomplishments and feats that such technology is capable of...it’s only naturally that it is powered by unconventional means.”

Siv spun the Sheikah Core on his index finger like it was a ball. “Yeeeep. I’m guessing that’s what allowed the super old dudes to beat the Calamity all those years ago.” He shook his head. “So, yeah. Dick Lord Ganon is gonna use that to turn the Guardians and Divine Beasts against us. And even if the science peeps keep researching into them...well.” He looked up at Astor. “Obviously, they would never figure out this crucial little detail even after a hundred years of science-ing. So this is our little secret, capiche?”

Astor nodded again. If what Asivus was saying was true (And it was) then Hyrule were truly doomed. The Calamity would exploit this secret, and use it to flip the entire war on its head. This is what Ganon would use to turn the Divine Beasts against them.

If any of the researchers found out about this aspect of Ancient Technology, and adapted to it, then Ganon would lose his biggest advantage...and it might be possible to...

The seer quickly shook away the thought. No, even if they knew, the world would be helpless all the same when the Princess fails to awaken their powers. In fact, it would probably be more brutal if Ganon’s forces were reliant completely on the bludgeoning and stabbing that came with monsters. Machines would have avoidable patterns in a post-apocalyptic world, but monsters of malice would be exceptionally harder.

So yes...We keep this info from everyone. Especially Robbie and Purah and...

“How sure are you that no one else could figure this out?” Astor asked.

“Decently sure. I mean, it’d be pretty hard to guess such a crazy thing.” Asivus shrugged.

“Are you positive? Because I know my—” He stopped in his tracks, suddenly stumbling on his words. “I—in reference to random researchers—other non-specified—she’s not—Look. There are very talented and intelligent researchers across the kingdom, surely someone—”

“Did you say it yourself? Everyone’s way to arrogant around here!” Siv threw his hands in the air, exasperated. “No one’s gonna look for faults in their perfect little war machines! They shoot lasers, and don’t talk back. It’s a general’s wet dream. Even if someone figured out this secret, no one here would listen to them.” He waved his hand in a circle and gestured towards his half brother. “Case in point: You.”

Astor folded his arms and sighed. “Alright, fine. So that’s how the Calamity will turn the Guardians and Beasts against us. But what’s the actual execution of it all? The plan? What’s your play in this? How did the Guardians in the yard get corrupted?”

Siv was silent; thinking. He seemed to be endlessly swimming through thoughts and words and memories. The man fiddled with the discs surrounding the astrolabe, eyes drooping in misery. Interesting.

“I was supposed to make them. That’s what he wanted,” Asivus finally said. “Beast of water, lightning, air, and fire. Or, demons? Blights or something. Creatures that were to take on the Divine Beasts.They’re built slightly different than Guardians, so he needed a little something special to deal with ‘em.” He blew hair off his forehead with a huff. “It all sorta just came into my head in the minutes before I fucked up those Guardians, so the details come and go, but that’s the gist. I make the Blights, Ganon does his thing, then I wait at the Sanctum to achieve true happiness or whatever he was bullshitting.”

“But you failed.” Astor interjected. “You failed to make the blights, and thus today’s calamity failed. At least, in this timeline.” Siv opened his mouth to object, but he continued to think outloud. “The Guardians were a fluke, then. You were not capable of creating Blights, but wielded enough malice to corrupt a Guardian. Although that brings into question how you control malice to begin with...and why you were chosen specifically for the task...”

Asivus was silent again, spinning the astrolabe on the floor. Astor observed him for a moment.

“Is he speaking to you? At the moment?” The seer asked. “Every time you fall silent is when you start looking down at that device. That thing I can correctly assume is the instigator of all this, given that you look at it every time I ask about the recent Guardians you ruined.”

Asivus narrowed his eyes at him, annoyed at being so readable.

“Ganon isn’t in your head, as you said you were overcome with this information in the minutes you truly held that astrolabe and walked by the Guardians.” He thought back. “Earlier before the incident you said you had a dream, and then you found the astrolabe? You leave it on your desk as a paper weight, before developing the decent moral to drop off a potential lost item to the Sheikah. But then you were holding the astrolabe in proximity to the Guardians, and subsequently are suddenly given the revelation to the Calamity’s plan...”

He locked eyes with him. “Combine that with the truth about all Sheikah Technology itself...and the fact that your eyes only change when that core is in your possession...”

Astor walked closer and gripped one of the bars, calmly. “That astrolabe is the link between you and the Calamity. It speaking to you through it. It’s lending you the power to control malice. It’s a manifested vessel of Ganon’s ill intent for this world...perhaps made of whatever malice plagues yourself. Perhaps he chose you for the job because you’re brimming with his favourite substance.”

Assivus started at the seer, and blinked once. Astor took that as confirmation, but asked anyways: “Am I wrong?”

Siv bit his tongue for a moment, before sighing in defeat. “You’ve got Ligero’s mannerisms down to the T. The perceptiveness nearly makes me wish I had actually paid attention to his parenting attempts.”

Something twisted inside Astor at that comment, and his voice grew a dangerous edge. “I’m nothing like him.”

“It’s alright, don’t take it personally. I just have a love-hate relationship with smart people.”

“Tsk.” The prophet stared down the corridor in thought. “Don’t we all.”

“But you’re wrong about one thing.” Siv added, and he looked up at Astor with a new seriousness. “I didn’t ‘fail’ to make the blights.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I didn’t fail to make the blights, I didn’t want to.” Asivus raised his voice, and rolled the astrolabe to the other side of the cell. “You can’t fail something you never really attempted in the first place.” He winked. “I mean, that’s been my philosophy on life for the last 15 years, heh.”

Astor blinked in surprise. “But...why? The world is doomed, and you were handed a position of life and power on a silver tray. Chosen above anyone else.  Why wouldn’t—?”

“I didn’t do it because I’m not like you, pissface!” Siv snapped. “I jump outta my socks to make a selfish decision. I don’t just run away from any inconvenience in my life.”

Astor nearly laughed. “Oh? And what exactly is it that you do, then? You’re really going to preach to me, Mr. Assivus Asunder?”

“YEAH! That name is exactly why I decided this!” He waved his arms in the air, and gestured to himself as he slumped against the wall. “Taking action and fighting for anything, regardless of what, sucks ass. Initiating change? Bad. Acting on what you care about? No likey.” Siv pounded his chest proudly. “The ideal ending for Asivus Ex-Hartell is to just chill out, and wait for the end. Drink in hand!”

He raised his empty flask, but nonetheless pretended to drink.

Astor frowned, but let the distant drip of leaking water echo in the corridor.

He watched Siv for a few more minutes, silently tapping his fingers on his elbow.

“You still care about your brother.”

It was a good think his flask was empty, as otherwise he would have spit out his drink. Siv angrily sputtered. “The fuck does that have to do with anything—?!”

“Why are you just relaxing in there after all this time?  You think you deserve this? Don’t want to be a burden for others?” Astor looked him up and down.

“Listen, you little shit. I know at this point it shouldn’t be a surprise that my family is made up of asshole, but—”

“You know when I first saw you around the castle, I did recognize you. The eyes, you see. But of course, I didn’t see the need to trouble you with my story, but I did watch you.” The prophet sneered. “Dear Asivus Hartell, sneaking into town to share a peach cobbler with his niece. Assivus Asunder, teaching his nephew to shield surf, and trying to encourage him down a more righteous path than his own. The Royal Orator Siv, who thanks his little brother for taking care of him by spending four hours making perfect hand drawn rat doodle cards.” Astor leaned down with a smirk. “You’re not the only one who paid attention to the captain’s birthday presents.”

“Alright get to the point, fuckface.” He waved the prophet off. “What? I screw around with my dumb family. What’s it gotta do with anything?”

“It means that for all your talk of laying down and dying and giving up, your action seems to indicate that you don’t actually believe that.” He jabbed a finger at Siv through the bars. “Or at least you don’t fully. Maybe you don’t want to. So don’t go blathering about your sorry life, only to try and insult me in the next minute. This isn’t about your apathy. You’re just scrambling at this low bar Ganon gives you as you drool the rare opportunity to unequivocally be an undeniably good person. You just want to tell yourself you’re a hero.”

Quiet.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

“OK.” Asivus curled his lip. “I didn’t want to join Ganon, because I’m still stupidly trying to not be an asshole. I’m too much of a wuss to commit to the dickhead role I was probably meant to fulfill. I’m pathetically trying to keep control over my image—is THAT what you want to hear, magic man? Congratu-fucking-lations. You turned the tables, you can see how pathetic I am and can feel better about yourself. How do ya feel?” The astrolabe had rolled by Asivus’ lap, and gold speckled in his eyes.

Astor sighed and answered honestly. “...Well. I’m envious, truth be told.” Siv blinked, but let him continue. “I haven’t bothered trying to be a hero my whole life, much less have such a driven (and these days useless) hunger to be ‘good.’” The seer shook his head, staring down the hall again. “I’m envious, but I do think you’re a fool. I’d take the opportunity to wield the future in a heartbeat, no matter the consequences.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying.” Siv chuckled. “This malice stuff is fucked up.”

“Only because you don’t understand it.” Astor replied, offended. “I’ve studies it for years, and it’s often misunderstood. There’s a beauty and usefulness to it, even detached from the Calamity. You’re just not intelligent enough to get it, I understand. ‘Love-hate relationship,’ like you said.” He snorted.

“Are you sick?! This Ancient Core thing made me walk through so many shitty memories and thoughts...I wouldn’t walk through that again to end OR save the world.”

“Again. All due to your plight of ignorance. It’s not your fault.”

Asivus rolled his eyes. “You know what? Why don’t you explain it me then?! If you’re so excited about it? Talk aaall about how I’m not fit to properly wield this and how pathetic I am?”

Siv dangled the astrolabe in the air between his fingers.

“Go on! Explain how great this malice is, and maybe then if you’re so eager I’ll just leave the thing in your care!”

[ithebookhoarder]

Hey! I love your story the gangsters daughter SO much and I was wondering if I could request something based on it?

Where it’s the night before Evie’s wedding and she goes to Tommy’s office to talk as she’s nervous and they have a fluffy moment where he doesn’t think he’s ready for her to get married! ☺️

Cold Feet (Parent!Tommy Shelby x Evie)

A/N: Ok ok ok. First of all anon, how dare you be so fluffing cute?! And second, OF COURSE YOU CAN! I love Evie and I’m always looking for excuses to write for my baby. Also, I’m totally not crying at the thought of Tommy having to let his little girl go and get married and just wanting her to be happy... I just have something in my eye. 

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of alcohol, mentions of smoking. Let me know if I missed anything. 

Masterlist:

Tommy had always known this day would come. 

It was as inevitable as death was for every single living thing on this planet. 

No matter how hard he’d prayed that he’d have just a little more time left, his luck had finally run out. There was no delaying it any longer now that the day was almost upon him when his life would change in a way that would alter his world forever. 

It was tomorrow, in fact, that Tommy would see Evie shed the Shelby name for another. 

True, he could not have chosen a more worthy candidate, and knew Toby would love Evie as she deserved to be loved. That didn't lessen the sting it caused though, to know his days as the only male in her life were now over. Soon, she would no longer be his, no longer living in the same house as him. She would be a married woman, and that filled Tommy with incredible joy, and incredible sorrow at the same time.

This was the curse of fathers. 

It seemed only yesterday that she was small enough to not even care about boys, let alone marriage. He remembered a particular conversation with fondness, when Evie had only been with them a few months or so. 

It had been in the wake of a row over Ada’s most recent conquest at the time. An annoying boy, Liam had only lasted three dates before being scared off by Arthur, John, and Tommy.  Despite being nothing particularly special, Ada had been incredibly enraged, yelling about how she wanted to marry him and that she’d never find love again. 

Of course, Evie had found the whole thing hilarious, if not a little confusing. Hence, when she’d sat up in bed that night, as Tommy passed by her room one final time, he couldn’t help but smile at her quizzical expression. 

“But, Dad. If she loves him what’s wrong with that? Besides, Mum had a baby on her own… if Ada did end up pregnant would it really be so horrible? She’d have a child, like me, and you all warmed up to me pretty quickly.”

“Well,” Tommy had begun, trying not to laugh at the absurdity of this discussion with his only recently recovered twelve-year old daughter. Polly was always far better at talking about this kind of stuff. “It’s… you see… people tend to only have children when they’re married.”

“Why?”

“It’s just how things are done.”

“Well, that’s stupid.”

Tommy smirked. “Most people would agree with you, but a lot don’t. They can be horrible and cruel, even to women who were in love but weren’t married when they had a kid. So, we’re trying to spare Ada from that. It’s fucking complicated, but at the end of the day, she deserves to be happy, doesn’t she?” 

“Yes,” Evie sighed, suddenly staring down at her bedsheets nervously. “But… does that mean Auntie Martha was right? That I have to get married when I grow up? But Dad, the only boys I like are you… and my uncles… I don’t suppose I could marry one of them?”

Tommy immediately bit back his laughter as he shook his head and held her close. “I’m afraid Martha would object to you marrying our John. Besides, you don’t want one of us old men when you can find someone young and handsome who you love very much.”

“But how will I know who that is? Or if they’re good or not?” she asked innocently. 

“I’ll help you,” Tommy offered, not without a little hesitation. To even think such a time would exist, when he would have to part with his daughter, when he’d only just found her again… “You can depend on it. Any unworthy bastards will be driven away by me, and the hounds.”

At that Evie spluttered into laughter, before pressing a kiss to her father’s cheek. “Now that, I would pay to see.”

Well, that day had come and gone and Tommy hadn’t released any hounds. No. The only hound in sight was Cyril, and he’d warmed incredibly quickly to the new member of the family. 

He hadn’t been the only one either. In fact, Tommy had rolled out the red fucking carpet, welcoming the man into the family. Sure, it hadn’t been without its challenges along the way, but as much as Tommy hated to admit it, Toby was a good man. More than that, he’d proved his loyalty to the family, and to Evie, over and over again. 

If he had to part with Evie to anyone, then at least it was to someone as decent as Toby. It made the whole ordeal hurt just a little less as he sipped his whiskey and stared out of the study window. 

Despite the late hour, there were still faint laughs and shrieks of delight echoing from upstairs. Ada, Lara, Polly and Lizzie were most likely to blame, having taken charge of Evie’s so called ‘last night of freedom’. Tommy didn’t know what that entailed exactly and he didn’t even want to try and guess. Not given how much champagne they’d lugged upstairs with them earlier, having returned from a busy evening dancing at a local club. 

If they weren’t all hungover as hell in the morning it would be a minor miracle. 

Still, as long as they got their asses to church on time and didn’t throw up on the minister, then everything would be fine. No. It would be perfect. Tommy had promised Evie that much and he’d be damned before he failed to deliver a promise as solemn as this one. 

She’d done the same for him, twice in fact, even if his union to Lizzie had been a far simpler affair than his first marriage to Grace. 

At least Evie hadn’t insisted on there being a ‘father of the bride’ toast - even if Ada had… Somehow, Tommy knew his would never be anywhere as good as the ones his daughter had given. 

She always had had a way with words.  

“Dad?”

Tommy froze. 

Speak of the devil and she shall appear. 

He was startled by the sound of her voice, echoing from the open doorway, as if summoned by his worry. He’d almost thought he’d imagined it until he turned and saw her standing there, looking a little worse for wear in her finery. 

Apparently he’d been right; she’d had a very fun evening.  

“Evie?” he blinked, clearing his throat as he tried to compose himself. “What are you doing down here? It’s late and I thought you’d be upstairs celebrating a bit longer. Big day tomorrow.”

Evie smiled, shrugging as she stepped into the office and closed the door behind her. She knew she never needed an invitation, having given up knocking long ago. 

“I was but… I don’t know. I just wanted to come and see you, if that’s alright?”

It would always be alright. Tommy hoped she knew that, even if the anxiety in her eyes said otherwise. Then again, he suspected the nervous energy wasn’t directly aimed at him.  

Over a decade later, he knew his daughter better than he knew himself. It was why he nodded, gesturing to the seat next to him in a clear invitation. “Of course it is, but won’t the others miss you?” 

“Oh, they’re all too busy finishing the last of the wine to miss me right away and… I don’t know why but I needed a minute away from everything. It was all a bit… much.”

“Yeah, well, welcome to my world. This family has always been a bit much,” Tommy teased. That was why they both loved them though. The Shelby spirit was strong and made them who they were. They wouldn’t change it for the world, even if it did drive them nuts on occasion. 

And Toby was willingly entering this family, why? 

“I’m almost scared to ask what’s being going on up there.”

“Probably wise, Dad. No one should see thing things I have tonight.” 

“I thought so.”

A laugh escaped Evie’s lips as she sat beside him, accepting the glass of whiskey he handed her without a second thought. It was simply routine by this point, the two of them caught in a silent routine on nights like this when they needed to simply clear their heads and think. 

It was an unwritten agreement between the pair of them. As was the somewhat confessional nature this room had taken on in its time under the Shelby household. So much had happened since they’d first moved in to Arrow House, from Charles and Ruby being born, to losing Grace, to Evie falling in love, Tommy’s ascension to Parliament, losing John and Esme, Lizzie and Tommy’s wedding… 

Only a decade or so, and yet Evie felt like a whole novel would never be enough to capture her family’s history or the almost surreal events that had taken place.

“Besides, it’s been a while since we had a talk like this, Dad,” Evie continued, shrugging as she sipped her drink and stared at the room. “Everything’s been happening so fast since Toby proposed. It feels like we haven’t had a moment to breathe, really. You’ve been so helpful, agreeing to everything and allowing us to turn this place upside down. I can’t thank you enough for that, by the way. I half expected you to be like Arthur yelling at the florist earlier.”

“It’s the least I can do, Evie. It’s not every day my daughter gets married - and he yelled so I didn’t have to. Fucking trying to sneak carnations in when the order clearly said Clematis with the centrepieces.”

Evie snorted, failing to hide the fact hearing Tommy Shelby raging about flowers was possibly the funniest thing to have ever happened. Ever. Good thing he hadn’t been there when someone had accidentally delivered the wrong amount of chairs for the tent erected out on the lawn. She could only imagine the carnage that would have occurred.  

“My knight in shining armour.” 

“Always. No ring changes that, Evie. I’ll always be there for you, whether it be to fend off blind florists or worse.” 

Despite the fact he acted as if he was merely joking, Evie knew her father meant each and every word. He always had. Even with their ups and downs, he had never abandoned her, always trying to do what was best for her, even if he went about it the wrong way from time to time. 

When she thought back now, to the day she’d first met him in that graveyard, on what had been one of the darkest days of her life, she wished she could tell her younger self not to be afraid. To not be angry or scared of the future before her and the wondrous people that would be in it, thanks to the wonderful man she got to call her father. 

“Dad, can… can I ask you a question? About tomorrow?” 

Tommy hummed softly. “I don’t know what I can tell you about weddings, but fine. Of course.”

“It’s not about the wedding per say, more the bit after. I just… I’m scared, Dad. I don’t know why but I am.”

The words made Tommy’s heart plummet before he’d even realised what she’d said. It took everything in him not to panic or try and express the pain he felt at the idea his daughter was scared about what was supposed to be a happy day - a happy and expensive one, even if Tobias had money enough to cover a lot of the costs. 

“Of what?” 

“I don’t know,” Evie whispered, almost as if ashamed to confess it. “I’m so happy and excited to start the life together Toby and I have talked about for years but, now that it’s here? I don’t know. I just … I feel like I’m going to throw up or pass out and I don’t know why. Is something wrong with me? Who gets terrified of their own wedding?”

“Every fucking sane person on the planet,” Tommy countered swiftly, a hand reaching out to take hers. “As someone with experience here, you can trust me when I say everyone gets scared, Evie. Everyone. No matter how certain you are that you love the person or that this is the right next step.”  

“But why?” 

“Because it’s a big commitment,” Tommy continued, “and it’s a new chapter in your life. That’s exciting but also terrifying. To know you have a chance to start a family of your own? To choose your own path? That’s nothing to take lightly, and if I didn’t think you wanted this, or that you weren’t ready, I would have said something before now. You can count on that.” 

He had a point.  

“And I know you, Evelyn Shelby. You have never let anything or anyone stop you from going after what you want, even if it’s scary or someone says no. If being with Tobias is what you want, then so be it. You’re a grown woman, as much as I fucking hate to admit it. I think you’ve proven over and over again that you’re the bravest one out of the lot of us, and I’m so proud of you. Your Mother would be too. She’d want you to be happy and to enjoy tomorrow for what it is: the start of another chapter in your incredible life.” 

The thought of her absence was enough to make Evie’s eyes sting with tears, as was the conviction with which her father spoke about her. The pride was clear, even if he looked a little scared himself at what tomorrow would bring for them all. 

“Thank you.”

Tommy nodded, knowing better than to argue as she threw herself at him, coiling herself around him as she often did. Ever since the first time she’d done it, he’d been unable to resist it. So what? His daughter’s embrace was one of the few in the world that made him feel loved. It was as if her presence alone was enough to restore him, to banish whatever was troubling him. 

The thought he wouldn’t just be able to have such hugs so frequently made his heart ache even more. 

He didn’t want her to go. 

In his eyes, she was still the twelve-year-old girl he’d first met. She always would be, no matter how much she insisted on growing up and being a so called ‘adult’. It was why he planned on keeping her room upstairs exactly as it was now, just in the case she ever needed or even wanted it. 

That, and because he physically couldn’t bear to erase any remaining traces of her from his home. Of course, Lizzie had teased him rotten about it, even if she understood. Still young, Lizzie hated the thought of Ruby ever growing up and leaving her for anyone - let alone a husband. 

At least they had some time left before that would be happening. Tommy didn’t know if he could survive anymore heartache so soon.

“I love you, so much, Evie,” Tommy whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and holding her close. “You’ll always be my little girl, and you’ll always be welcome here. Anytime, day or night. This will still be your home, and we’ll still be your family. If anything, we’re simply gaining more members, not losing any. Understand?”

“Yes,” Evie nodded, wiping her eyes as she shot him a watery smile. “I love you too, Dad, even if I swear I’m supposed to be the one telling you all this. Isn’t it normally the father of the bride who’s supposed to get all teary eyed and jittery the night before?”

“We’ve never been conventional, Evie. In case you forgot, we have politicians, the Lee branch of the family, and Alfie fucking Solomons all coming tomorrow, for fucks sake. Why should we start worrying about tradition now?” 

Evie’s laughter was infectious at the picture of the eclectic scene awaiting them, especially considering how excited Alfie had been at the prospect of attending a Shelby wedding. Oh, Arthur was going to explode at the sight of the Jewish gangster sat in all his finery. That, and when he saw the huge gift he had been promising her for weeks now.  

She couldn’t wait.  

“True. Well, traditional or not, I’m so grateful for the life we have, Dad. I’ll never be able to tell you how grateful I am that you were the person who showed up at that graveyard,” she confessed. “There’s no one else in the whole world I want to be my side tomorrow. You’ll still walk me down the aisle, right?”

Tommy beamed. “How can you ask that, Evelyn Shelby? I’ve always been right beside you and tomorrow is no different. Wild horses couldn’t stop me.” 

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” Tommy whispered, “simply enjoy yourself and let me and the others take care of the rest. That’s all the thanks we need… and maybe call once in a while, just so I know you’re alright.”

Evie laughed, knowing she would probably still end up here most of the time anyway after she was married. But she agreed, pleased to put his mind at rest as well as he’d put her own. “I really do love you, Dad.” 

“And I love you too, Evie. Always.” 

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: Steamed Up

Summary: After a date night, Belle and Gold have an intimate encounter in the Cadillac, calling to mind the earliest days of their relationship.

Written for the @a-monthly-rumbelling November smut prompt: steamy windows, half-dressed, temptation, rain.

Rated: E

Steamed Up

It’s been a wonderful evening, and Belle doesn’t want it to end. The rain is steadily coming down on the bonnet of the Cadillac, and through the rivers on the windshield, she can see one dim light on in the front room. She wonders if the children are in bed and asleep or if Tilly let them stay up until their parents returned. It’s the first time that both of them have not been there for bedtime, but after six years, they felt that it was time for a date night.

It’s been good to get out, just the two of them, heading off to all the places they used to haunt before they were married and had children, starting with dinner at Marco’s Italian and ending with shots and pool at the Rabbit Hole. Well, Gold didn’t partake of the shots, saying that losing his licence with a DUI would not be a good way to end their first post-babies date night, but Belle had made up for him, and still managed to beat him at pool for all that.

She glances across at him in the darkness. The windows are starting to steam up around them.

“We’d probably better go in,” Gold says, although there’s a distinct reluctance in his voice as he wipes a streak through the condensation on the window. “Tilly will start to think that we’re up to no good in here.”

Belle dances her fingers up the inside of his thigh and squeezes his crotch. “Who’s saying that we’re not up to no good?”

He gives her a look, but Belle can tell that he’s already given in to temptation. She gives him another gentle squeeze and he grunts, shifting in the driver’s seat with his head thrown back. 

“Come on,” she wheedles. “The Cadi won’t be scandalised. It’s not the first time we’ve done it in here.”

Gold huffs with laughter. “It’s not the first time we’ve done it on the outside either.”

Belle gives an appreciative sigh at the memory of Gold bending her over the bonnet, the thrill of being outdoors only a little tempered by the isolation of the cabin by the lake.

Presently, Gold pushes his seat all the way back. “Come here, my little minx.”

Belle wastes no time in scrambling over into his lap, pressing her lips up against his in a fierce and hungry kiss. Maybe it’s the fact they’ve been reliving their earliest dates and it’s reawakened that first flush of passion in them, maybe it’s the fact they’ve got a babysitter on the clock, but there’s a sense of frantic urgency in their messy kisses and slipping, fumbling fingers as Belle wrestles with Gold’s tie and collar buttons and he yanks her dress and bra straps down to let her breasts bounce free. OK, so the dress is a bit tight now after carrying and breastfeeding two babies, but Gold certainly doesn’t mind at all. He cups her breasts, running his thumbs over her nipples. Belle groans as they pucker under his touch, carding her fingers into his hair.

It’s at times like this, gasping and pawing like newlyweds, when Belle can’t believe that they’ve been together for so long. Together for ten years, married for eight of those, parents for six of those… And they’ve been engaged in mutual pining for who knows how long before that, until Jefferson and Ruby had finally got them to get their act together and admit to themselves and each other that they had feelings.

Still, however long they’ve been together, Belle thinks the fact that they’re still this insatiable and this desperate for each other after all this time is testament to just how perfect a fit they are for each other. They’ve had sex so many times – becoming parents definitely did not have the impact on their intimate life that everyone warned that it would – but the thrill of it is never dampened. It’s never boring. Gold’s touch never fails to send an electric shock of pleasure through Belle’s veins, and she can see for herself the effect that she has on him now, his erection clearly visible against the front of his trousers.

He slips a hand between her legs, one long finger outlining her sex through the gusset of her underwear as his other hand continues to play with her nipple and he presses soft kisses to her neglected breast. Belle throws her head back, trying not to make too much noise. Not that she thinks Tilly will hear them from inside the house, but it pays to be cautious when there are potentially small, curious children about. Luckily, the windows are so misted now that although it will still be very obvious what they’re doing, it won’t be quite as visible.

Gold captures her lips again, and in the pause for breath, she regains a little control over herself, starting to work the buttons on his shirt and slipping her hands inside, dancing her fingertips over his chest and flicking at his nipples, grinning at the soft hiss of pleasure that he gives. His hips buck up against hers, his hard cock straining at his zipper, and Belle takes pity on him, unfastening his belt and fly and taking him out. Gold swears softly at the first stroke of her palm up his shaft, and then his own hands are back under the hem of her skirt, scrabbling for the waistband of her underwear. There’s a lot of ungainly fumbling then, that ends with Belle’s panties hanging off one ankle in their haste, but it really doesn’t matter. They’ll have plenty of time to take their time later, in the luxurious comfort of their own bed. For now, everything is quick and raw and needy, reminding Belle of the desperation of the very first time they slept together. No doubt they had both been planning for it to be a lot more romantic than it was, but with so much tension in the air, having gone unresolved for so long, desire got the better of both of them.

Gold slips two fingers between her folds, rubbing along them and smearing the juices already pooling at her entrance, circling her clit, and making Belle gasp and dig her fingers in. He found his way around her body so quickly and easily, and although they enjoy exploring every inch of each other, it’s an entirely different kind of intimacy to know someone and their body so well that it only takes a moment to build them up to the heady heights of pleasure.

She curls her fingers around Gold’s cock again, lining them up and sinking down onto him, his eyes fluttering closed as she welcomes him inside. It’s a rhythm they’ve long since fallen into over the years, and there’s no less intimacy in the act for its quickness. Gold’s fingers touch her clit in time with the rolling of their hips, and Belle’s orgasm is sweet and intense, her inner walls clutching at Gold’s cock and bringing him over the edge with her.

Gradually, Belle comes back down to herself, resting her forehead against her husband’s. It’s such a strangely chaste gesture after what they’ve just done, and she has to laugh a little at it. Gold joins in, and she feels the rumble in his chest more than she really hears it.

“We should really get inside,” he says eventually, and although Belle would be quite happy to stay sitting here in this sweaty and debauched mess, she knows he has a point.

“We should really make an effort to look decent before we get inside,” she points out. Although it’s going to be impossible to hide what they’ve been doing – the sheer amount of time they’ve spent sitting in the driveway without opening the car doors will have acted as a giant flashing warning sign to Tilly if nothing else has done – they might at least try to act innocent, and going into the house half-dressed will do nothing for that perception. So, it’s with reluctance that Belle scrambles back out of Gold’s lap, allowing him to set his trousers to rights and refasten his shirt. He doesn’t bother with the tie, and he raises an eyebrow as Belle opts to shove her panties in her coat pocket instead of putting them back on properly.

“You’re a demon sometimes, but I love you.”

“I’m very glad to hear it.” Now looking decent, if a little dishevelled, Belle doesn’t dare check her make-up in the rear-view. There’s lipstick on Gold’s collar; that tells her all she needs to know. Still, she can’t resist leaning in for another kiss before they dash through the rain towards the house, and it’s all Belle can do not to collapse into fits of giggles that might wake the children once they’re inside. The run through the downpour has certainly helped in terms of their post-coital state of disturbance, but as Tilly comes out from the living room and gives them a onceover, it’s not enough to have washed away the evidence entirely.

“You know, I think it might be best if I just left right now,” she says. “The kids are in bed. They were perfectly well behaved all evening.”

Gold nods and gets out his wallet, thanking Tilly for her time. The younger girl’s expression is undecided, as if she can’t work out whether to be amused or unnerved by her employers’ antics, but then she’s rushing through the storm to her own little car parked on the road, and Belle and Gold are left alone in the hallway.

“So…” Gold’s smile is utterly insatiable as he pushes Belle back against the front door and goes in for another kiss, hooking her panties out of her coat pocket. “Shall we continue where we left off, Mrs Gold?”

“I think that’s an excellent idea, Mr Gold.”

[a-forgotten-spirit]

Love Isn’t An Illusion (5)

Pairing: Todoroki x Bakugou, Todoroki x Reader x Bakugou, VERY SLOW BUILD

Summary: Studying, exams and lead up to the practical exam

Words: +-6600

Warnings: Anxiety, stress, overthinking, feelings of pressure, over working, unhealthy habits, over studying, not eating, not sleeping, getting thinner, (aggressive) caring Bakugou, Monoma, angy boom boom boy, fear of failure, swearing

Tagged:  @kittycatspervertedheart​ @lemorrite​ @gwendlynn​ @marleps​ @thicctati2​ @saitamastamaticsoup​ @succulent-momma​ @aurorahoneybuns​ @imjusttireddudes​ @misconceptualised​ @ochabby​ @katsukisuwus​ @gayverlinq​ @star-witchs-blog​ @fallbb123

A/N:  I wrote this for the fans. I do not own My Hero academia or the characters, I don’t own most of the plot for this story, I had watched the show and re-written the dialogue and plot as if the reader was the main character. Everything is centred around the reader. Please comment, makes me happy. Ask if you wish to be tagged. I’m thinking of making a patreon for exclusive fanfics and commissions, comment/ask/message your thoughts.

Masterlist

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

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Chapter 5 Y/N P.O.V

Once Aizawa left the room Kaminari and Mina were yelling within seconds “It’s true we haven’t had much free time” Tokoyami but in. I’ve had heaps of free time, you just cut out sleep and boom like 9 hours of studying ready for you. I had come first in the midterms so I couldn’t fall behind now.

“As someone who ranked in the top ten I'm not that concerned” Mineta smiled spinning in his chair. It was quite often my brain ignored that he was athletic and semi-decently smart. Though his personality ranked quite low in the class so overall he wasn’t doing exceptionally well. 

“What you’re tenth in the midterms” both Kaminari and Mina yelled out in unison. They were the bottom two, I couldn’t imagine the stress of that. I can’t deal with being first not to mention being last. I think I was going to faint, just thinking about it sent shivers down my spine. 

“Ashido, Kaminari. We still have time to study and we’ll all get to go to the training camp together” he had ranked fifth I had completely forgotten about the camp far too focused on not failing I must have excused that from my memory. I was glad Midoriya brought it up, now I was forced to converse with my parents at a later date. “Right” he questioned with a smile, hands clenched and happy.  

“Yes, as class rep, I have hopes we will make UA proud” Iida was in third place in the class. How was he holding it together, I wanted to ask him for his secrets. To give me guidance. I needed the help, I needed to train. I had so little time. 

“It’s pretty hard to fail if you just pay attention in class, isn’t it” Todoroki’s voice was so bland and he spoke, his words were true. Like there was no way I could fail, right, right? I could feel my heart beating so quickly. Todoroki had ranked sixth in the class, how was he being so calm. I was stressing beyond belief.

“Why you gotta cut me down like that” Kaminari was holding his chest, kneeling on the floor. I nodded, I felt the same. Everyone in the top ten seemed to calm and here I was in first place having a small crisis. I thought I had gotten over my nerves but not at least not for my education. 

“Hey don’t worry you two, I can catch you up to speed on certain topics if you want” Yaoyorozu was so nice, maybe I would ask if I too could join. She ranked second, I needed to ask her as well as how she wasn’t stressing. Was it the fact she wasn’t number one? Was it something else? Did she not care? Anyone give me an answer. I had study sessions but they slowly died down with the class. I was collapsing and I needed support. Mina and Kaminari took her up on the offer. “I’m afraid I won’t be any help when it comes to the practical though” she sulked, an aura radiating off her from the corner of the room as she sat down in her chair. 

“I’ve been studying but can you help me out too, I’m having some trouble understanding quadratic functions,” Jirou asked holding up her book. I too had struggled with them, a whole night of rewriting them, listening to a youtube video about them and then reading about them had solved that issue. Jirou ranked eighth in the class.

“Tutor me please, classical Japanese is killing me” Sero had his hands above his hand in a ‘praying’ formation, he ranked eighteenth. Classical Japanese was a lot of work but again some videos and all-nighter. I think I had got it to a T, though what if I had missed something… My lord what if I had missed something.

Ojiro walked over his shoulders slouched and hand in the air like he was volunteering “Is their room for one more, I’m falling behind a little” at least he was honest. Ojiro ranked ninth so he was still in the top ten but I could see his stress. I was listening in from my desk as my hands shook. 

They all asked in unison for help and Yoayarozu looked stunned for a moment, her hands coming to her lips as her eyes sparkled “This is wonderful” she shouted, her seat moving back as she jumped up, hands in the air happily. How could she be happy at a time like this? “Yes let’s do it, ok we can hold a study session at my residence over the weekend” she smiled hands clasped together. 

“Seriously, I can’t wait to see your fancy digs” Mina smiled as she bounced over. Yaoyarozu looked so happy, a blush forming along her cheeks, hands fisted near her face. Her smile was beautiful, she was beautiful. How could she be smart and pretty?

“I must call mother and ask to set up the great hall, it’ll be the perfect spot” Did she just say great hall, she was joking right. She didn’t have that kinda space just laying around. “What kind of tea does everyone like, I'll make sure we are stocked” everyone looked about as shocked as I was, sure I knew she was rich but this was just wow. She continued to go on about what her family drank and that if it wasn’t to your liking she would buy some. Such a good host and we were still at school. 

“Sounds like I should be studying with her” Kirishima smiled at the group forming at the back of the room, he was ranked sixteenth. I couldn’t blame him, she seemed so confident and wise. How was she so happy, how was she able to make time for other people when she too had to study. Sure I could do it a few weeks ago but right now? A week before the exam, how was she doing it?  

“Think I don’t know enough, maybe I should beat the lessons into your skull” Bakugou growled out, he ranked fourth. He was another I forgot was smart. He was always so loud and angry but he did care dearly for his education and becoming the best so it made sense why he was like that. Bakugou looked so angry teeth grit and eyes wide, was he mad that Kirishima even suggested going with someone else. 

“I'm counting on it,” Kirishima smiled and nodded happily to the seething Bakugou. I don’t often see Kirishima without a smile, he was always so happy. Give me tips, please. I was on the verge of passing out, whether it be from stress, sleep deprivation or the four cups of coffee wearing off I wasn’t sure. “God I wish I was Y/N. Not a care in the world” Kirishima sighed and I watched as everyone turned their attention to me shaking at my desk. 

“Yeah I know right” Sero agreed his head down, I heard a few more agree. Lord if only they knew how fast my heart was beating at the thought. “I don’t know how you can even get 100%” there was so much pressure, my head was spinning as I felt faint. 

My hand rose, shaking as I shook my head “I am very stressed” I stuttered and everyone stopped turning to my shaking figure as I went to stand and my legs wobbled. “I think I’m about to have a heart attack,” I said calmly and sighed out unevenly. 

“What, why, you’re so smart. Our study sessions were like you were a teacher. I don’t know how you find the time” Mina jumped to my desk as I stood up straight, my hands coming to rub my cheeks the end of my sleeves dragging along my skin. 

“Yeah, you are incredibly smart” Kaminari agreed. “I could never come first” he sighed and everyone slowly walked over. I was rubbing my face still, slowly and shakily. They all thought I was so smart, I had so much pressure. “How do you have time?” he asked. 

“I don’t sleep” I looked up, my eyes baggy and black. I might as well have been a walking corpse. “I studied over 300 hours for the last test. I can’t even imagine the time I’ve put into this one” I shivered and saw wide eyes and feared looks. “Am I allowed to the study sessions as well?” I asked slowly. 

“I think you need some sleep” Yaoyarozu spoke and came to rub my back calmly. I could fall asleep to this, I could fall asleep standing I was so tired. “But if you want to come you are more than welcome” she smiled nodding. “I’ll make you some nice calming tea” 

I grabbed her hands bowing my head “Thank you” I whispered and looked up seeing her happy face smiling, she was pretty “If I could marry you, I would” I whispered and she flushed as I heard some laughter. “I’m not joking, the idea of studying with calming tea is marriage material and no one can tell me otherwise” I bowed again. She blushed more and bowed back. 

Then came lunch, we all walked to the lunchroom and sat down. We all sat at one big table and when I sat down I brought out my notes books and pens. This was half an hour I got to study, the lords are truly smiling upon me. As I began to write I could feel eyes on me. 

“Are you not eating?” Mina asked slowly pointing down to my book “You can take a half an hour break to eat Y/N” I looked down to my book, I was hungry. When had I eaten last? I wasn’t sure yesterday, maybe. The day before. I was far too stressed and busy to eat. 

“Well it’s an extra half an hour” I answered and saw the looks I was getting. “I have to do my best you know” I clicked the lid of my pen to the bottom of it and began to write again. 

“When was the last time you ate,” Bakugou asked and I turned, we were sitting next to each other. He had asked me last time as well. He took a lot of care for his body, his athleticism was proof of that. Why was everyone so worried for me?

“Um,” I paused and tried to think about it “I had some rice, Saturday” I questioned and shook my head “I’m fine though, really” I smiled but even that was using energy my body didn’t have. 

“Are you kidding?” Kirishima asked and I looked down shaking my head “I could never” he whispered and looked over my body. I too looked down, was I getting smaller? I pulled on my UA jumper and then flattened it to my body. There was a lot of excess fabric but I liked my jumpers bigger. 

I saw a bowl placed in front of me as books were moved out of the way “Eat” Bakugou demanded and I looked down to the bowl of rice with soup and noodles, odd but it looked good. I shook my head and smiled about talking when I was handed some chopsticks. “I said to eat” he growled. 

My stomach growled loudly, I hadn’t noticed just how hungry I was “Thank you” I whispered and placed my hands together in a thank you for the food. Picking up the bowel I began to eat and saw him eating something else he had brought. A few mouthfuls and I placed it down. “Thank you again” I went to grab my book but my hand was stopped. 

“Eat it all” he ordered and moved the bowl back “You look dead” he added and took another bite of his food. I touched my face, did I look that bad. The noodles had a nice spice to it and were about to shake my head once more when I was glared at. Giving up I continued to eat until a loud banging was heard. 

“Oh sorry, your head is so big that it’s hard to miss” it was the preppy boy from 1-B, the one who was a real jerk ward. I lowered Bakugous’ bowl and watched how this would play out. He was rude and had a grudge against 1-A. Maybe he hadn’t gotten in or maybe he just didn’t like us. 

“You’re the kid from class 1-B. Um. Monomo right?” Midoriya asked rubbing the back of his head with wide eyes. Had he hit him, from the sound I thought it was the table, it was quite loud? Why was he talking to our class again? “That hurt” Midoriya yelled as he continued to rub the tender area at the back of his head.

“You guys stumbled across the Hero Killer” Now I was more interested in the conversation, the whole table was. “Just like in the sports festival, class 1-A isn’t happy unless they are the centre of attention but you know you aren’t in the spotlight because people think you’re good heroes, right?” even his voice was annoying. Did he only come here to make fun of us, was that it? “It’s just that you keep getting into so much trouble. Here’s food for thought someday the rest of us might get caught up in your mess and then we will all become victims as well” his smile was wide and menacing. He did have it out for us. “What kind of horrible villain will you bring down upon us?” he continued. 

“Are you done?” I asked my eyes slowly looking over to him, too slowly to not be creepy. He seemed to sense it too. “I’m not in the mood to deal with your insecurities right now” I continued and he looked offended. Wait, did I say that out loud?

“Excuse me” his eyes widened and he huffed turning his eyes towards my own, trying to explode my head, or maybe he was constipated. I rose and eyebrow in confusion as some of my fellow class chuckled. “Say that aga-” he was cut off. 

I watched as the redhead walked up, slapping him upside the head within a second he was on the floor holding the spot, now he knows how Midoriya felt. “That’s not funny Monoma, you heard what happened to Iida, chill out” 

“Kendo” Iida called out his hand up about to respond again. She seemed to be everywhere the little rascal blonde went. I was about two seconds away from sticking him in an endless cube for twenty minutes. 

“I apologise for him. I’m pretty sure there’s a hole where his heart should be'' she began, he should apologise for himself. Though when I looked down I should see him dangling in her grasp, did she knock him out? “So I was listening about what’s going to be on the big final practical. I heard it’s going to be combat against robots like the entrance exam” everyone straightened up now far more intrigued with the new information “One of my friends who is a few grades up filled me in. You know, cheating but oh well” I could beat them, right. I got in on recommendation so I didn’t know but I fought them in the festival and they seemed pretty easy. 

Midoriya began to mumble to himself as I picked the food back up and looked down to my notes, the book was closed seconds later. Bakugous’ hand retreating as he pointed to the food in my bowl. I continued to eat, he did care about people in strange ways but still cared nonetheless. 

“What kind of idiot are you Kendo” so the preppy boy was awake again. My eyes rolled by themselves this time. “You just gave away our whole strategic advantage” he whispered angrily his head rising, eyes wide as his smile. Was he ok? “This was our chance to finally pull ahead of that class full of idiots” another slap to the back of the head and he was out, being pulled out by Kendo who was calling him an idiot. A true saviour to class 1-A. Before lunch ended I made sure to give Bakugou his bowl and chopsticks back, thanking him again and asking if I could come to his study session. He agreed, a shrug but still agreed. 

After lunch, everyone was talking about how the practical would be easy. It was only the exam they were now worried about. I was still stressing about every second but that was my problem. “It shouldn’t matter whether it’s robots or actual people, why are you morons so excited” the question was directed to Kaminari and Mina, they were offended by what he said but their words died down when he began to shout “Shut up” he got angry so quickly, I don’t know how he did it. “You need to learn how to control your quirk, you got it” I had to admit he had a point, they did need better control and out of everyone in the class, I think he was in the top for harnessing his quirk. “Hey Deku” his voice growled, this was the most I had heard him talk in a while. “I wanna know what’s going on with your power. I saw the way you’re using it now and I want you to know it’s seriously pissing me off” his eyes were narrowed and hands in his pockets. The training exercise, just like how he moved, had he been bottling this up for a few weeks? “I won’t have another half-ass fight, like the festival, we will be getting individual scores in the upcoming finals. New rankings” his teeth grit and his hand rose quickly pointing to the scared looking male “So we will all know exactly where we are standing. I’ll show you how much better I am and Todoroki, I’ll kill you too” with that he walked from the room, the door slamming shut. 

My hands came to my cheeks once more “Am I not seen as a threat” I whispered and saw a few faces at my stress. “Oh my, does he not see me as a threat” I whispered “I was the one who beat him” I added and sighed “Although not through physical strength” Bakugou didn’t see me as a threat. I fell into my seat, my head on the desk. “Oh no,” I sighed my forehead against the wood. 

“It��s been a while since I’ve seen him that worked up,” Kirishima told the class then walked over and I felt a hand on my back “I’m sure he sees you as a threat, the other two are just” he paused and I rose my head slowly “people he doesn’t like” my head came crashing back to the table. 

-

When the weekend rolled around, a group of us met at Yaoyarozus’ place, it was massive. Sure, I knew my house was big but this was something else entirely. We stood in awe, I had managed to get some sleep the night prior, regretted it in the morning but I had a bit more energy for the day ahead which I didn’t regret. 

“I knew her family had cash but I didn’t know she was this rich” Kaminari voiced all our thoughts, we all nodded in unison. It looked like her house went on for acres, and I didn’t doubt it did. 

Moving forward to press the bell a voice came through and the gates were open. All six of us walked to her house, large and beautiful. I didn’t understand the need for space but I could appreciate it. We were moved into the ‘great hall’ and we all sat down. Jirou, Kaminari and Sero on one side and Mina, Ojiro and I on the other books ready and awaiting our host. 

It was strange seeing the others in normal clothing and I looked down seeing the baggy jumper, black ripped jeans and boots I wore on my days off. Though the boots I had to imagine, taking off our shoes before entering the house. I wouldn’t want dirt in here either. 

“I could not feel any more out of place right now” Ojiro voiced and I nodded and Sero agreed verbally. It was a beautiful house and well taken care of. I couldn’t believe this is what Yaoyarozu came home to every day. 

She walked in pushing a tray of tea, she was wearing a red shirt and white shorts. Even though they were ‘normal’ clothes she still looked proper in every way. She was so nice to let us over to study, honestly a gift to my week. Hours of studying went by and I got ahold of everything, I needed to do more. I was given calming tea as I shook and stressed. 

“Marry me” I turned my eyes wide and hopeful. Yaoyarozu was a goddess in the body of a human. She had laughed and continued with the lesson. Over the weekend I met with that group of a day and Bakugou and Kirishima at night. A little over twelve hours of study with other people a day and then my study at home. 

“How are your notes so neat?” Kirishima asked leaning over to look at my notes in the booth, having met in a cafe. I looked down, my notes were mostly colour coded for different things, having many pens and highlighters. 

“I have a fear of failure” I stated and he nodded. I helped the two organise by colour coded and it seemed to help Kirishima get the hang of a few things “Look, cover, write, check” I wrote down on a posted note for him, sticking the paper to his book neatly. “The motto I live by, or just keep doing it until it’s engraved in your brain for eternity” I smiled and Bakugou nodded in agreement. 

“So manly” he nodded and started my technique, this went on for a few hours until we parted ways and I let him borrow one of the study books I was done with having memorized it. He looked about ready to cry “I owe you my life” he bowed and I laughed. 

Going home, eating something and then back up to my room to continue studying. Every day this week I had worked on my quirk. Expanding my area, how long I could do it for, how many things I could create, size, density. Everything had to be perfect. I worked night and day to be the best. I was going to stay in the top spot. I could do this. I hoped, begged. 

The weekend went quickly but the night before the exam I slept more hours then I did the whole week, waking up I felt ‘refreshed’ and ready. I practically sprinted to school my head high and my mind ready. I had an illusion of the answers beside me, to make sure I didn’t forget anything. Answers I had studied and worked my ass off. The first exam was long and I powered through the answers, seeming to know every single one. I didn’t stop writing for the entire time, I was proud of myself. 

The third day was finally over, I felt my heartbeat again “Alright pencils down, the last person of each row bring the answers to me” My page was collected and I felt a weight off my shoulders. I was breathing again, was oxygen always this good?

Yaoyarozu was then bombarded with Kaminari and Mina thanking her, I said it but I wouldn’t bet she could hear me over them. They had answered every question which was good to hear. They gave it a go. Later that day Kirishima had asked why I thanked Yaoyorozu and then the class was surprised to know I went to both sessions with the groups and then studied more at home. 

The practical was still to come, I looked down at my hands. Was I ready? I had trained so hard every day, was I ready for this? I shook my head then nodded, yes, I was. I had gone up against villains, murders, Nomus and won. I can beat a few robots… There were no robots. 

We were all in our hero costumes standing in front of the teachers. I was shitting bricks, to say the least. “Now then, let’s begin the last test, remember it’s possible to fail this final. If you want to go camping, don’t make any stupid mistakes” Aizawa warned. I was petrified, were all the teachers going to watch us?

“Why are all the teachers here?” Jirou questioned, good now I didn’t have to talk, a small sigh left my lips in relief. I thought it would only be Aizawa, maybe All Might if we were lucky not all of them.

“I expect many of you have gathered information and believe you have some idea of what you’ll be faced with today” I froze, we weren’t fighting robots were we? Of course, it would change for our year, why wouldn’t it?

“We’ll be fighting those big metal robots” Kaminari shouted leaning back as if to allow as much sound from his body as possible… he most likely did do that. His hands were out and Mina joined in happily smiling. 

I watched as Aizawa’s scarf ruffled then Principal Nezu popped out “This year's test has been changed for various reasons” he smiled, I felt my heart sink. I was right, I was too right. Why was I right, why couldn’t we just fight the robots? “The test now has a new focus” he lowered himself with Aizawa's’ scarf and the help of No.13 “It’ll be hero work of course but also teamwork and combat against actual people. So what does that mean for you, your students will be in pairs and your opponents will be one of our esteemed UA teachers. Isn’t that fabulous” I was going to throw up. My hands were shaking as I put my hand over my mouth to try and get myself together. 

“Additionally your partners and opponents have already been chosen” I was mad at that. If I lost because of my partner I was not going to be impressed. “They were determined under my discretion based on various factors including fighting style, grades and interpersonal relationships” this wasn’t going to end well. I was so sure, I was going to win but the idea of having to not only watch myself but someone else was a lot of work. “First Yaoyorozu and Todoroki are a team” he smiled pulling his scarf up “Against me. Then we have Midoriya paired with Bakugou” they turned to each other and I could feel the tension circle our group. “And their opponent is” 

A loud bang and there was All Might in all his glory suited up and ready to fight “I am here” his fist was out and my heart fluttered in fear. I was so glad I wasn’t them. It was good to know I wasn’t going to be fighting the top hero and a little insulting knowing I was the first by grades and in the festival. I tried not to take it personally… I took it personally. “To fight” first Bakugou and now the teachers. “You’re going to have to work together boys, if you want to win” his smile only grew with a chuckle. 

-

Teachers P.O.V (third person)

The teachers began to talk about the exam, explaining why it needed to be changed and how. Some teachers were against the idea but the topic of the league of villains attacking once more quickly changed their minds, why wouldn’t it? The heroes in training need to be ready if anything ever happens. Hero Killer Stain may be gone, but for how long, how long until someone takes his place? Everyone was now on the same page about the students fighting the teachers. 

“Right, now let’s talk about the teams” Aizawa held a pile of papers in his hand, looking down at the first team “First, Todoroki, he’s doing quite well generally speaking but relies too much on brute force. Yaoyorozu is an all-rounder but lacks the ability to make spur of the moment decisions and apply them. Therefore I’ll erase their quirks and take advantage of their weaknesses” with the simple explanation all the teachers had agreed happily. It was fair, one liked to take control while the other feared to make decisions by erasing their quirks they would have to work together. “Next for Midoriya and Bakugou I’m leaving them to you All Might,” said male looked confused a little taken back by the conclusion of his pair. “In this case, I didn’t pair the two based on ability or classwork, I went with relationships. I know you’ve got a soft spot for Midoriya, please ensure that they learn something” Aizawa pointed out and. 

“I will do my best” All Might nod in affirmative. It would be hard for the number one Hero, he did have a soft spot for the green-headed successor but he also had a soft spot for the explosive teen who loved to cause damage. He was nervous but would do what he needed. 

“The next group is Anyama and Uraraka, I picked this pair based on relationships as well. I have never seen them talk and in the hero world you will need to pair with random heroes, they need to learn to pair with whoever” Aizawa explained then looked to No. 13 “I have paired them with you, both their quirks will be easy to fend off with your own and they will need to think outside the box” 

“I see” No 13 pondered then nodded “I look forward to facing them, I hope they can work well together” she concluded with the other teachers agreeing. As she was given the papers to learn more about them and how their quirks worked. 

“Forwarding on, Ashido and Kaminari this pair is based purely on grades. They are the lowest in class but seem to work well together. They both need work on their quirks so this is why I'm pairing them with Nezu. They need to think outside the box and quickly as well as together” Aizawas’ eyes turned to Neku who was smiling and quite happy to take the pages of the two students' information. 

“Very good thinking” Nezu nodded his eyes growing narrowed and smirking “I am quite excited to face these two in the exam” everyone knew Nezus’ past and his slight dislike for the human race. 

“Moving onto Tsu and Tokoyami both strong quirks but both are long-distance fighters, preferring to stay back. Relying heavily on their quirks. So Ectoplasm” Aizawa’s eyes moved to the Pro who nodded indicating he was listening. “Your clones will provide close combat as well as distance. They need to work on thinking quickly as well and not relying on their quirks” 

“Understood” his creepy voice spoke out into the room, a man of few words as many knew him. The pages were handed over easily and his eyes began to scan the information. Sure all the teachers had taught them but any extra information was useful. 

“The next pair is based purely on fighting style and speed, Ojiro and Iida. They work well in teams and can talk to anyone, they rely on speed and technique. This is why I'm pairing them with Power Loader because they will have to move faster, think as one and make sure they watch what is going on around them all at once” another explanation down. 

“This will be interesting” Power Loaded nodded and Aizawa knew he had a smile on his face even though this headgear was stopping most from seeing. Aizawa had spent a lot of thought and time working on these pairs.  

“Kirishima and Sato are with Cementoss, I paired them on strength and they have close grades as well as their quirks are both short term. Both friendly and enjoy working in teams. Let’s see how they fare against Cementoss who can change the location outlook in a matter of seconds” Aizawa smirked to the fellow Pro who thought for a moment and then nodded. 

“I wouldn’t hurt them as much as the other students if I go for a hit and they need to work on speed and agility. A very good pairing Eraserhead” Cementoss nodded and took the papers. He too began to look through the information provided, he had taught them and only saw Kirishima at the festival using his quirk. 

“Koda and Jirou are with Mic as they both rely on sound to use their quirk, it’ll be hard to use sound when someone is yelling over the top of them” this pair was easy to see the potential for a fight. “Koji will be required to talk more and build teamwork, Jirou will be tasked with helping him”

“Yo yo that sounds awesome Eraserhead. Perfect pair for me indeed” the loud hero smiled and nodded bobbing to music that wasn’t playing as he grabbed the papers and put them down in front of him with ease. 

“Shoji and Toru will be placed with Snipe. Their quirks are stealth-based and with someone shooting at them it will be hard to stay quiet and move in silence” Aizawa conducted putting the two pages together and hitting them against the table to make them even before handing them over to the hero who only nodded. 

“That leaves just me” Midnight smiled and placed her head atop her hands, her smile turning into a smirk “With Mineta and Sero am I correct,” she asked licking her lips. 

“Correct. I put them with you as Mineta can get” he paused shaking his head “Distracted while Sero is mostly speeding. Both with different fighting styles and outlooks on being a hero plus I found out they both look up to you” Aizawa answered with ease handing over the last pair of pages. 

“I do look forward to breaking them” licking her lips again she nodded and sighed out. Placing the pages down “Are we done? So soon” she questioned, that was a short meeting but if the pairs were decided it was to be expected. 

“No, there is one more student” Aizawa sighed and everyone was paying full attention “Y/N” he breathed out and everyone nodded. “Her quirk can be used in any situation and against any quirk, plus they can become physical. She could simply put an illusion of herself and no one would know the difference” he looked down to the paper seeing her face in the picture “I don’t know what to do” he answered honestly “She was first in the festival and first grade-wise, I heard the other students. She hadn’t slept in days to study for the test” the teachers all nodded. 

“Her quirk is a problem, she could easily get past any of us” Cementoss nodded adding his input into the conversation. Everyone sat in silence as Aizawa looked down to the paper with all her details. She was a perfect student for UA.

“She athletic as well” everyone turned to Snipe, the teacher who had taken her as a sidekick for a week. “She beat me in hand to hand” that stopped the teachers. “Her quirk works on thinking, she showed me something that” he paused and shook his head and licking his lips behind his mask “She had a conversation with me while also talking to a coworker at the same time. Her mind was doing two different things simultaneously while also keeping up the illusion” 

Midnight shook her head “That takes extreme power, in the festival her illusion looked so real. I believed it” She added nodding her head, a hand coming to her chin to think. Cementoss agreed. 

“She doesn’t rely purely on her quirk but also does. No matter who she went against, if it was a formal and acknowledged physical fight, if someone managed to beat her, I would be quite impressed” Snipe nodded as the other teachers agreed. Snipe was the only one who knew of her ‘weakness’ but he would never tell and even if he did it wouldn’t matter she knew everyone here. 

“I have an idea” Principal Nezu spoke up thoughtfully and all the teachers were open ears for the suggestion “What if we all went against her at once. It would prove she’s been working on her quirk, how many things she can create at one given moment. How quickly she can think and act” it was a good idea but the idea of it was unfair. “It may seem unfair to the child but we don’t have another option” all the teachers agreed, though some not looking as determined as others. “Though she has one rule” why would she have a rule and no one else, her test was already quite unfair. “She must show at least one teacher her true self during the exercise, she needs a challenge” the teachers felt bad but it was for her good. They had to test her as hard as they could. Even if she took down two maybe three teachers they would be impressed. 

“Then it’s decided, Y/N goes against all of us, at once” 

-

Y/N P.O.V

Once all the names were called out with their pairs I looked around and was confused. I was guessing they put a group of three, had they forgotten about me? Was I not seen as a threat that much that they just excluded me? “Um” I put my hand up and the class stopped talking turning to me. “I wasn’t paired,” I said slowly smiling as I did, an awkward smile and I could see the confusion of my peers. 

“You’re a special case Y/N” Aizawa looked me dead in the eyes and I nodded slowly, my eyebrows drawn in confusion as I waited for an answer pursing my lips. “You will be fighting” I nodded and smiled, OK, so I wasn’t getting kicked out or something. 

“OK” I nodded slowly and looked around “Am I joining a pair or something” I looked around and saw pleading faces for me to join groups. I had to be joining a group, there was no other way to complete the test or was someone going to have to do it twice, would I do it alone? 

“You will be competing alone” Aizawa added carefully and I felt my hands shake slightly, I could beat them. I nodded still confused. All the teachers were taken. What weren’t they telling me?

“Am I getting a teacher brought in or something or is a teacher doubling up?” I asked looking over everyone before landing back on Aizawa for the answer. Everyone was silent as the teachers waited for the answer and my peers listened in. 

“You are very strong” Aizawa began, this didn’t sound good. Bakugou and Midoriya already had All Might who was the top hero. Was I going to be fighting Endeavor or something, Best Jeaniest maybe? I felt my heart begin to race “After some talk and decision making we decided that you” he paused and then looked straight at me with a smirk “Will be fighting us all at once” I felt my eyes grow wide and gasps were heard behind me as my heart sank. 

I was going to be fighting them all… at once. Alone. Someone catch me.  ________________________________________________________________

Chapter 6

[kiatheinsomniac]

Chapter III: Rooftop Talks

Part one: here Part two: here

Every student was gathered in the hall. (Y/n) looked around oddly, taking a mental headcount. There were only twenty-five students. That was one class.

They had just met the principal, Crawford Starrick who was standing on a podium and had just announced that they were allowed to have their first day to themselves in order to familiarise themselves with the building and the grounds. Perfectly timed, he asked if anyone had any questions. A few hands went up, along with (Y/n)’s.

“So, do we get to go out on the weekends at all?” Asked a boy who looked strikingly similar to Evie. (Y/n) concluded that this must be her twin, Jacob.

“If you’re willing to make the walk.” The principal replied. (Y/n)’s brows shot up, recalling how long the drive had been through the woods; she couldn’t imagine walking that distance. She was called on next.

“Is this everyone? I mean, it’s only one class unless we’re being split into two smaller classes.” She pointed out her observation.

“Each student here is handpicked for success.” The reactions to this were a mix of straightening backs with pride and scoffing, “We want you all to achieve your very best and thought a singular class would better achieve that.” He explained. (Y/n) nodded her head but something about it felt odd. Just one class? Then again, it could be down to the school being new and having to prove its worth before it could accept more students. “Kassandra.” He called on the Greek who had her hand up.

“So what aren’t we allowed to do?” She questioned, not wanting to get into an argument with staff over something she didn’t know.

“Break curfew, start fights, truant, steal, fail to hand in assigned tasks on time, disobey staff, have mobile phones.” The Greek smiled sweetly.

“Ok.” Was her simple answer. (Y/n) squinted her eyes at her slightly. She seemed far too happy with that answer. Why was she smiling so much? Why did her eyes light up?

With no more questions left, they were dismissed to familiarise themselves with the grounds. (Y/n) made her way over to Kassandra, curious. The Greek grabbed her hand and went running down the hall. A few other students watched this, curious before looking to their peers and shrugging, running after them.

When Kassandra finally stopped, they were standing at the top of a staircase by a set of old rusty doors. (Y/n) turned around to see that they had company. Claudia, Aveline and two other boys who (Y/n) didn’t know were all behind Kassandra and herself.

There was a loud creak and snap. Kassandra had kicked the door open, breaking the worn-down lock inside while keeping the doors intact. There was glass on the outside of the metal framing but it was so overgrown with moss that it was difficult to see what was outside. Was this some sort of balcony?

As soon as the doors were opened, it was revealed to be the roof. They all walked out onto it, chattering among themselves while (Y/n) made her way to the edge of the far wall. She could see the lake that gave Vermere Lake Grammar School its name. It was off in the distance, past the extravagant gardens and field with a few layers of trees blocking it from the view if you were on the ground. It appeared to be a clearing in the middle of the sea of green trees and had a stream trickling into it.

(Y/n) took the opportunity to look around the area from a higher viewpoint which she stood on. Trees and trees and trees covered the hills around the school. The colour was quickly becoming sickening to look at everywhere she turned.

Her (e/c) orbs flickered to the gardens and the sports field. She prayed that she wouldn't have to participate in any form of physical education. She had always been far more academic than athletic and saw it as a waste of time - she could be studying something far more useful in her opinion. The gardens were wonderful and defined by tidy gravel paths. The hedges and trees were trimmed to perfection and the colourful pop of the flowerbeds were a nice change from the constant, droning green. There were statues scattered in a grid among the gardens and a large fountain stood proudly in the epicentre of it all. The water was running, putting on a repetitive show, sunlight reflecting off the water and making it sparkle, while statues of cherub angels and mermaids were in the centre. It was a very flamboyant school, indeed.

She shuffled a little closer to the edge before a pair of hands carefully held her sides in a tight, yet cautious grip, causing her to jolt slightly with surprise.

“Careful, don’t fall.” A male voice spoke from behind her. She turned around to see that it was a boy with long brown hair which he swept back into a ponytail, tied with red satin. His skin was softly sunkissed and he had rich brown eyes with golden tones glimmering amongst them. He wore a deep blue high-necked jumper which defined his torso and was tucked into a pair of black trousers which were accompanied by a black Louis Vuitton belt and black suede boots. She took a step from the edge, which inevitably brought her body closer to his, before making her way past him.

She flashed a shy smile, blushing a little at how he'd held her hips, "Thank you." She managed out before making her way over to Claudia and Aveline seeing as she knew them the best. She thought over leaving so abruptly like that. Perhaps he wanted to get to know the other students here too - after all, most people here didn't know one another. She found herself feeling odd and liking how touchy some of the other students were - the way Kassandra had grabbed her hand, the way Arno had grabbed her sides, etcetera. She never got much affection from her parents and never had any friends to give her any either. She quite liked the contact. It was comforting.

What unnerved her though, was the realisation that she was so touch-starved that she was enjoying this from people that she hardly knew. It was quite a shocking sudden realisation, really; something that she didn't want to admit to so she pushed the thought away. She would be getting to know them all soon enough anyway, right? Well, aside from Cesare and Lucrezia. She didn't plan on associating herself with those two.

She hadn't even been here for a whole day and she was already finding out things about herself that she had failed to notice in the past. It only made her lap up all these new changes even more, finally free of that old routine which she was constantly restrained by back at her home.

(Y/n) watched as a blonde male student went running for the lake, followed by an olive-skinned boy who resembled Kassandra a lot.

"Oh, I think they're going to jump in." She pointed out as she gestured her hand towards the two students that were sprinting across the sports field and making a beeline for the lake.

"Of course he is." The Greek girl sighed, a smile on her lips as she watched one of the two boys in particular. "The taller one's my little brother, Alexios; but, a lot of his friends call him Deimos." She paused for a while, her smile lingering as she witnessed her brother and the blonde student strip off as many layers as they could (while staying decent) before plunging off the small pier and into the cold water, "I never liked his friends back home, they were terrible for him. If he's mean to you: don't take it to heart." She rested a hand on (Y/n)'s shoulder to express her sincerity, "Those friends of his made him an asshole but I'm hoping that he will change now that he's not around them anymore. Mater hopes so too."

"Are you here for a change too?" The ebony-haired female prompted, wanting to get her own story across int he process.

"Because I tried to defend him from his friends, I ended up making a lot of enemies back at home." Shrugged, "I've always been one to punch first and ask questions later." (Y/n)'s eyes roved over Kassandra's arms to see how muscular she was. She definitely seemed like she would win a fight. "I suppose I'm looking to try and change myself in that aspect - learn to negotiate. But I know it won't happen overnight." She laughed at herself.

"I mostly accepted the application here because I wanted a change and I don't really have anyone at home." (Y/n) expressed, "I'd wake up and go to my school where I never had any friends, study all break and lunch, go home to paint or read for half an hour, study until dinner then get in the shower and go to sleep." She explained, "I was always home alone a lot because my parents work all the time. I've never been close to them. . . They didn't even drop me off at the airport. . . The family driver was the only one with me. . ." She spoke nonchalantly but Kassandra looked liked like she was on the verge of heartbreak.

For the Greek girl, her family was one of the most important things in her life, her source of happiness. It made her sad to know that her classmate didn't have anyone at all in the world.

"Well, you have friends now." She beamed, throwing an arm around her shoulder, "A lot of people here seem to like you already." Her gaze went back to her brother and the other student who were still swimming in the cold water and her lips tugged into a frown, "He's going to get sick if he stays in there too long. . . I should go get him." And with that, she left and (Y/n) made her way over to Claudia who was standing under a large greenhouse which was on the roof, gesticulating a lot with her hands while Aveline, the boy in blue from earlier, and the other guy were all paying attention to her.

". . . Just imagine it!" She spoke expressively, "Some lights, some chairs, pillows and blankets! If we clean up the glass and the floor and maybe add a few little flowerpots and trinkets on the shelves! This could be an awesome hangout! And, judging by the doors on the way up here, no one comes up here, so we can keep it as a thing between people we like."

"That's quite a cool idea, actually," Aveline spoke from where she was standing inside the rather large greenhouse, a frown tugged at her full lips, "But it would be nicer with some music."

"I bought my guitar with me." The boy that (Y/n) had yet to meet raised his hand in contribution. He had an Italian accent which made (Y/n)'s eyes flicker between him and Claudia, making note of their similarities. She concluded that this was Ezio, Claudia's brother. He, like Arno, suited long brown hair which was tied back - but he had shorter parts that fell loose and framed his angular face neatly. He wore a white hoodie with dark red joggers and white trainers. She wondered why he was dressed so casually until she realised that he and his sister must have had to wake up early to catch the plane and he would have wanted to be comfortable for the journey.

"I'm going to miss my music - I really hate this 'no phones' rule." The one who (Y/n) had briefly spoken to earlier piped up, "I mean, in a controlled environment like a boarding school, they're not exactly going to get in the way of us learning." He shrugged as he leaned against the glass, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Good point." (Y/n) agreed. Ezio turned his eyes to her, not having noticed her before. The Italian raised one of his brows in amusement, a flirtatious and teasing smile tugging at his scarred lips.

"You're quiet." He pointed out.

"Oh, leave her alone, stronzo. She's not one of your easy girls back home and I don't want you sleeping with my friends." Claudia snapped at her older brother, placing her hands on her hips to try and show her authority. Her older brother smiled at this while (Y/n)'s (e/c) eyes widened.

"Whoa, that escalated quickly." She held up her hands, shocked at how the conversation had gone from him teasing her about being quiet to Claudia telling him to not try it on with her.

"Oh, believe me, it would have escalated either way." The female Auditore rolled her chestnut eyes, "I'm sure that as soon as he said that, he would have mentioned something about getting you to moan loudly." She shot an accusing gaze at her brother who tossed his head around, considering his answer with a playful smile.

"Guilty." He confessed, his eyes going back to (Y/n) who felt quite singled out. The other boy clicked his tongue.

"Talking dirty to a girl as soon as you meet her isn't going to get her in your bed." He corrected.

"It isn't?" Ezio shot back, "Oh please, master seducer Arno, share your knowledgable ways with me?"

"Alright, we're leaving." Aveline rolled her eyes, amusement playing on her lips as Claudia followed her and she took (Y/n) by the arm to lead her away as well, "We don't want any part of your guy talk."

"Is your brother always like that?" (Y/n) asked Claudia.

"Yes." Was her blunt reply, "But don't misinterpret him; he respects women a lot even though he sleeps with all the pretty ones he sees. When my ex cheated on me, he broke his nose and when his ex got a new boyfriend, he made sure that he'd be good to her with a heavy threat."

"That's. . . violent but also incredibly sweet?" (Y/n) laughed while she glanced over her shoulder to where Arno and Ezio were having an in-depth discussion about the best way to seduce a woman. She rolled her eyes before following Aveline back downstairs, hoping that she wasn't still the topic of their conversation.

She decided that she wanted to explore the school building.

[minyoonkeeks]

Late Night Maintenance // JJK

Pairing : JJK X Reader (F)

Genre: Smut/Fluff

Warnings : good old vanilla sex in all aspects, there's some oral and pretty much it. Nothing triggering (:

A/N: I know I said I was starting my new series, but my good friend who I originally wrote this fic for, finally read it. It's my first smut fic ever, and generally the second one I've even written. I've reread it and there are things I wish I could word better, but it's a growth process so I'm happy with it right now. Please let me know if you liked it (:

_________

"Yeah sure I can work with that schedule. Thank you so much for working with us, we will get the prompts out to you by the end of the week"

You quickly hung up the phone and organized your desk. It was you vacation getaway with your best friends from your hometown. All of you grew up together but when college started, you chose to stay and help out in the family travel business to get your photography started. It wasn't as big of a deal to you than to the other girls who wanted you to go with them, but it made your getaway trips legendary.

Hence why you were on your way, bolting to the airport to get on the first flight to Hong Kong. It was insane how quickly everything came together. Your best friend Lia's boyfriend Yoongi was on a special trip out during the time of your trip and was able to secure 3 more tickets for you, your other friend Becca and her boyfriend Hoseok. You only had 2 weeks to get everything ready and packed as much as you could for your week out in another country. To be honest, being at home started to feel stifling and you really wanted to see if your photography would get you anywhere else. It wasn't that you didn't love home, but it was obvious that nothing would happen if you stayed in your bubble.

So off you were, 1 week in Hong Kong with your best friends and all on their boyfriend's dime. It was odd, while Lia had Yoongi, Becca had Hoseok, and you weren't feeling any vibes from anyone. It didn't upset you, but you knew if you stayed any longer you'd end up marrying that creep from down the street who would stare at you whenever you made any trips out of your house. This was the perfect opportunity. You would see if your photography fared with any other artists, and just maybe you'd be able to get rid of some of those bad love juju vibes everyone said you had. 

"C'mon don't be like that!" Becca yelled while she finished getting ready in the bathroom. "Yeah we can't have our annual dinner without you!" Lia whined as she hugged your leg, causing it to fall asleep from how hard she was grabbing at it. "I just feel a little off. I love the guys, I do, but I don't wanna be third wheeling. I promise, we'll go out together another time. Just take today and go be in love you babies." You sighed as you changed the channel on the TV. Quickly a hotel promotion popped up for a night in at Disney Hong Kong, courtesy of the swanky hotel concierge team since you were in a hotel suite. "Look I can go to Disney at night! You know I've always wanted to go see the castle, and it's special hours for us. See I have something to do, so get ready so I can be on my way!" You feigned enthusiasm so they could get the hint and leave you alone. You really didn't want to sit through 2 hours of making out on one end and cutesy talk on the other. It was bad enough on the plane ride having to sit through it while everyone gave you pity looks and to deal with it tonight would be a no thanks since tomorrow the boys were off to do their business venture and you'd be with just the girls. "Fine, but if we come back and you are still here watching netflix in your pajamas you are dead meat." Lia stared at you, you knew she meant business, especially when she wasn't getting what she wanted. There wasn't any getting out of it either. You weren't planning on going, but 10 minutes into your Strong Girl Bong Soon rerun you thought, why the hell not? There wasn't anything stopping you, and it was free. You changed into a long sleeve with your favorite overalls decided to grab your camera and go down to see what Disney was about.

The ride to the park was quiet. You really didn't think you'd be one of 3 people in the van going to late night Disney. It was Disney, you know? Happiest place on earth? But you guessed it was because it was almost midnight that you'd have most of the park to yourself. There was an older man driving who you counted as one because otherwise you'd have to acknowledge that you were sitting next to an incredibly good looking man. He wore black tshirt over some jeans and you could tell he wasn't really looking at anything, kind of like he was lost in his own mind. As you sat down, he jolted up and looked right at you, big brown doe eyes full of innocence. You face flushed, how couldn't it, when smiled at you and very cooley said, "Hi, don't mind me, please sit." You had just about choked on air from how beautiful he smiled after talking. And so you sat in silence, trying not to fidget too much, so he wouldn't notice your awkwardness. When you finally arrived, you realized just how alone you'd be. The massive entryway only had 1 lane open and there were no cars passing by to drop off or pick up non existent passengers.

"Don't worry, it's open." The ridiculously cute boy said as he looked at you, smiling a huge bunny smile. You couldn't help but notice him now. Tall, really tall, and although he was wearing a large shirt, you could clearly see defined muscles making your eyebrows lift up from the surprise, and hoping he didn't notice. But clearly he did as he smirked giving you your once over. 

"Oh, and you know this how?" You asked, trying not to sound too out of control from how your brain wanted grab his arms as a reflex to see if he was really built because you hadn't had any decent sex in so long. He stared at you for a second, trying to gage whether you were teasing him, or you genuinely wanted to know. "Oh, I work here. I'm helping renovate the castle with my uncle since I had some time off this summer and he needed the extra help. Most of the guests don't come out at this time since I guess they like to sleep." He chuckled to himself and you made a face worthy of laughter. Was he messing with you? "Honestly, I only came to get the churros and head out, thanks" you scoffed. You chuckled under your breath as you saw his reaction, clearly not expecting you to bite back at his teasing, or lame attempt at it anyway. You walked past him and into the park ignoring his eyes as he looked right at you, smug smile from being defeated at his own game.

The park was beautiful. Lights and rides lit up, although none of them were running at this hour for safety reasons. It was ok since you came to take photos anyway. You took your camera out of its case and began taking photos. It was so relaxing, for the first time feeling like your photos were yours and not solely for the purpose of putting them on a travel ad. You loved your job, I mean it was your parents blood, sweat, and tears that went into it, but it wasn't yours. It was their dream. And being here now, taking photos and being carefree for a second made you realize what you were missing out on.

"Beautiful, right?" You heard his voice behind you. Almost as if he was so close you could feel his breath on you, and for a second you had to get a hold of yourself. "Yeah, it's definitely out of this world" you mentioned, trying to keep the ache in your pants from making you choke on your words. He ends up right next to you staring curiously as you gaze out at the landscape and it's enough to make you lose your breath.

"C'mon, I'm not on a time crunch, I can show you around if you'd like. My name's Jungkook by the way." He smiles at you and extends a hand. You take notice at how he squeezes a little too hard and it makes you think of how it'd be like for him to squeeze your thighs to let him in and you have to snap out of it. "I'm ______, sure I could go for some company." 

As he's explaining the buildings while you're taking photos, you can't help but feel him looking at you from time to time and it makes your knees weak. If it was day time, it probably wouldn't have the same effect, but something about the lights and the fact that he kept getting closer to you made you think about how his arms would feel around your waist, or how his torso would feel around your legs. 

"And here's my stop." You quickly broke out of your thoughts to look up at the dark castle. He notices how you startle to his voice and laughs a little. "Oh, I didn't realize it was so soon. Thanks Jungkook, this was fun" you mumble back, cheeks red from where your thoughts were leading you. He looks flushed and for a second he's biting on his lip, making yours do the same. "You want to come look inside? There's a few rooms that don't have access for regular customers, but I can show you if you promise not to tell anyone." He nudges you, and you feel his muscles through his shirt, yeah definitely ripped, you thought. "Sure, as long as you'll let me take a few photos, I mean not like you own the place" you laugh awkwardly and slap his shoulder. He winks at you as you both start walking towards the gate.

As you walk in you have a great sense of… nothing. Its blank, gray walls coating the inside of something so beautiful on the outside. You see the lights through stained glass illuminating your pathway and you wonder for a second where all the illusion went. Jungkook is walking slowly behind you and you fail to notice when he puts his hand on your waist as he guides you in the dark. As you reach his work destination you see it's quiet and completely alone, but you aren't nervous. "It's kind of weird huh? We're supposed to be adding a terrace and it's already there but we're waiting on the designers to finish their sketching to continue. We're supposed to meet them tomorrow. Here, let me show you." He takes you hand and laces his fingers between yours as he guides you up to the terrace.

You get there and he holds you by the waist to pick you up. As you look out and see the view you can't help but feel how rough his hands are on your waist. You turn and stare at him gauging if it's your imagination, or if he wants the same thing you do. You shake the thoughts out of your head walking towards the edge to take a closer look around the park. You take a few photos, noticing how Jungkook stands behind you, leaning against a post. It kind of makes you take a second to breath, feeling like he's staring at you and not at the scenery around him. "Come sit with me" he calls out to you, and as you turned you saw him laying a blanket down. " Since I work night shifts, I usually spend my time listening to music and sitting here. It's pretty calm, and I like hearing the way the wind carries over." He sounds happy and you smile as you walk over to him sitting next to him. He grabs your hand and holds it, and at first it startles you, but seeing his smile as he lays back a little you can't help but wonder if he would be like this all the time. If this was how he treated his special someone. You talked for what felt like hours  about your home, your job, and you ambitions. He would smile occasionally and tell you about his life. He wasn't actually from Hong Kong, but just working while he figured out where he wanted to go or do. You admired him for that, being free enough to go anywhere and do what he wanted without falling into pressure. "Why don't you come with me next time? I'll probably go back home to Korea for a few months and then set out somewhere, anywhere. We'd have a lot of fun." He remarked and looked at you, big brown eyes full of interest. It was different, feeling like you were meant to meet him tonight, and although you'd never make a rash decision, you couldn't help but love the idea of hanging out with him, taking photos, and having fun. It seemed too good to be true but you didn't let that get in the way. 

You stand up and pull on his arm to help him up, Jungkook towering over you. "Sure, maybe one day, you never know." You smile at him. He's warm and sweet and yet you can't quite place what he's thinking as he squeezes your fingers between his as he jumps off the terrace.

He pulls you down slightly and places his hand behind your neck bringing you down to his eye level. You could smell his musky scent and moaned a little too loudly into him and his soft eyes quickly turned into lust. He took your face into his and kissed you, at first with so much yearning, that you couldn't help but open your mouth to let him in. " I've been waiting all night to do that." He smiled as he let go for a quick second before attaching himself to you again. He brought you down and sat you on the edge to kiss you harder and longer. You opened your legs to let him slide his body in between yours and you gasped when you felt his hardness brush against you. "Mmm Kook, me too" you whispered. He took that as an opportunity to let his tongue slip inside you again and you only moaned louder into him, making him smirk. As he pulled away he watched you, with dark lust filled eyes, as he spoke roughly. "You really couldn't wear something a little more convenient huh?" He said as he watched you catch your breath and slowly unbuckle your overalls. "I didn't really think I'd be fucking a hot ass guy at a palace, did I?" You chuckled as he went to suck on your collarbone. He went slowly up your neck sucking and leaving love marks, as you moaned in anticipation for what was next. "I knew I was going to fuck you from the moment I saw you get on the van" he growled into your ear and nibbled, "Well then, fuck me please" was all you could say before he crashed his lips back onto yours.

His hands quickly trailed down your sides, along your breasts, making you hitch your breath. He squeezed at your nipples between the fabric of your bra causing you to moan out his name in pure ecstasy. He tugged on the ends of your shirt and you lifted up your hands to let him take it off. As he stood back for a second, you started feeling anxious, but the look on his face gave away any inhibitions about what you wanted to do to him. You unclipped your bra staring right at him as you slowly took it off, watching as he devoured your body with his eyes. "This really is the most magical place on earth. You're gorgeous, come here" he said walking back towards you.

He started kissing your lips slowly, leaving love bites down your neck and into your chest. Once he reached your breast, he kissed around reaching your nipple and sucking on it making you gush between your thighs. He looked up to lock eyes with you and trailed the other hand between your legs to feel your heat. "I think it's time we take these off don't you think?" Jungkook said as he moved to take off the rest of your clothes.

As they hit the floor, Jungkook's lips were back nibbling on your nipple as his hand made his way back to your mound. There was no denying how aroused you were when he felt your slickness soaking through your panties. "Mmm, feels like I could fit right in already huh?" He said as he moved your panties to the side and slid his fingers through your slit, making you moan in response. "I want to see you too" you said as you tugged off his shirt. You ran your fingers over his defined muscles and kissed along his shoulder blade, smooth skin hot and cold at the same time.

"Lay down for me" he whispered as he tugged your panties off. He lowered himself to your thighs, kissing along and leaving a trail of bite marks, claiming every bit of your body that he could. Once he reached your core he trailed his tongue up your slit, bringing more moans out of you. "You like that baby?" He whispered as he licked once more, this time circling your clit with his tongue. You grabbed the back of his head as a reflex, and it only made him hungrier for your juices. He groaned into your pussy lips to suck on your clit. "Mmm, you taste so good baby, I could do this all night." His voice sounding an octave lower and full of sex. All you could do was moan, hearing him call you baby made a fresh wave of arousal hit you. 'More, I need more" was all you could say as Jungkook slipped a finger into your aching cunt. Your walls clenched his fingers, happy for the intrusion as your juices coated his finger when he started fucking you with it. Your moans getting louder, and his assault on your clit, making you grind into his face. You could feel him moving his stance and looked over for a second to see him palming his erection, waiting to be released. It made you so much wetter knowing that he was enjoying this just as much as you. He noticed you looking and slid a second finger provoking another loud moan from you. "You're so tight baby, I need to make sure you're ready for me" he said as he scissored his fingers into you. "I want to see you" you said between moans, earning another groan from him as he fucked you with both fingers. He curled them inside of you, hitting your sweet spot and making you gasp loudly only making him harder. "Cum in my mouth baby and I'll give you whatever you want" he whispered into you and began fucking you harder. Hearing those words were enough and soon you were toppling over the edge, seeing white and groaning out his name "Fuck , Kook!" Was the only coherent thing coming out of your mouth as you came. He kissed your cunt, stood up, juices covering his mouth and chin, as he smiled seductively, leaving your aching pussy wanting more. "That was so hot," He took your hands and pulled you up so you were meeting his chest. "Show me how much you want me"

You lowered yourself off the terrace, knees wobbly from how you body reacted to Jungkook, and held onto his jeans. Slowly kissing down his toned torso you skimmed the lining of his jeans to reach the buttons. Undoing the clasp, you looked kissed him roughly as he moaned into you. You pulled his jeans down  slowly along with his boxers releasing him from the constraints of the fabric. As you got on your knees you let out a huge sigh. He was big, bigger and thicker than you have ever had. "You like what you see baby?" He whispered bringing it down and stroking it in front of you, making your pussy ache from the sight. He has a slight curve and he was red with how hard he was, precum droplets coming out of the slit. It looked delicious and all you could think about was how he would feel fucking your mouth. You looked up at him, and he was holding his breath to see what you would do. You smirked and licked from his balls up to the tip of his cock, feeling him tremble under your touch. You licked the precum off, slowly engulfing him in your mouth. He groaned and gripped onto the edge of the terrace as you started to bob your head, licking around the tip to give.him a little more. "Fuck ____ you look gorgeous, so beautiful baby. Take my cock in all the way." He hissed as you licked around his cockhead once more. There was no way he would fit completely inside your mouth, but as you pumped your mouth on him he grabbed your head and began fucking you mercilessly. "Fuck _____ it feels so fucking good. Your mouth feels like it was made for me to fuck it" his thrusting getting more intense only made your arousal come back faster and soon you were rubbing your clit with the same speed as his mouth fucking. You pulled away fast, sucking and popping him out of your mouth when he started getting sloppy, knowing that he was going to cum.

"Baby, I need you in me." Was all you could say as he picks you up and throws you back on the terrace, placing his body right between you on the edge. You could feel his rock solid erection throbbing close to your core. "I Don't have protection, didn't really think I needed it tonight  you know?" He says, hunger in his eyes. "It's fine, I have a thing, keeps the babies away, just fuck me already" you moaned back waiting to see what he'd do. He brought his face close up to yours and kissed you hard, hard enough for you not to notice him rubbing his dick against your slit. "Good, it'll just make the sex even better" he whispered and slammed his dick into you, giving you no time to prepare. "Fucking hell, oh shit" was all you could say as he cradled you in his arms fucking you as if he'd prepared al alongl. It stung, more than you thought it would, but hearing his grunts and moans only made you want him to fuck you harder, and soon all you could feel was the intense pleasure from his dick slapping against your cunt. He nibbled on your ear as you repeatedly told him to fuck you faster and harder, wrapping your legs around him and holding on. "You're so fucking tight baby, just like I imagined. Even better. I can't wait to --ugh-- fucking spill everything in you, on you, everywhere." He cursed as he railed into you. He placed his hand between you and started rubbing circles around your clit bringing screaming moans out of you. "Kook, fuck me harder, I need more." Was all you could say. He trusted into you one last time before holding himself as deep as he could, trying to catch his breath, and trying even harder not to cum inside you yet. He pulled out, leaving you empty for a second and climbed on the terrace, pulling you down on top of him. 

"Ride me, I want to see you ride me" he said panting. You aligned yourself on his cock, your lips slowly taking the head of his cock in as he looked with full lust in his eyes. "This is fucking amazing, you're so fucking beautiful" he gulped as you took him in inch by inch, moaning into him and dropping down giving him a kiss. It wasn't rough, just sexual and intimate, and you moaned out his name slowly grinding against him. He grabbed your thighs, the rough sweaty texture of him making you clench around him even more as you slowly roll your hips against his. "You're gorgeous Kook, let me look at you" you softly tell him as you move his sweaty hair from his face making him blush. He makes his way to your breasts and squeezes them gently making soft whimpers from where he wants to fuck into you. You lower your body and he takes a nipple into his mouth slowly circling and biting the perky nub, "yeah, just like that" you whisper as your fucking goes from intense and rough to sensual and intimate as you get closer to your release. He brings your hips lower into him, feeling his cock reach areas you hadn't ever felt someone reach and making you wimper and fuck back into him harder. "Yeah just like that baby, make yourself feel good for me. -mmmm- I want to feel you cum on my cock" he groans in small broken sentences, getting sloppier by the second. It only turns you on even more to hear him talk like that so you're grinding onto him harder. You grab the nape of his neck and pull him up with you as you move your legs around his waist. It gives him access to start fucking harder into you, holding your hips down as you ride him, unable to control your moans. He kisses you, hungrily, as if he's asking for something, and soon you grab onto him, seeing white, and feeling the pressure snap and release into pure bliss. "Fuck ____ you look so beautiful cumming for me, don't stop." You hear him through your orgasm as you go in for a kiss. He takes it and moans as he releases into you, spilling his seed inside and coating your walls. He rides out his orgasm, leaving you sensitive and holding tightly to his back to steady yourself. "Wait, too much." You say, panting into his neck.

As you slowly stop he turns and looks at you, his face happy and smiling, unable to contain himself as he kisses you again. "That was way better than working tonight, " he jokes and soon you're both laughing into each other. You nudge him playfully and rest your head on his shoulder,leaning back to lay down over the terrace. He takes his shirt and drapes it over you, and you can't tell when, but you fall asleep.

When you wake up in the morning, groggy from your late night escapade you see Jungkook shuffling away and cleaning the area. "Here, we're late. My uncle and our associates are coming to look at our progress. I'm gonna need you to go out the back," he says as he hands you your clothes, pulling you up to get ready. You quickly put on everything and follow him out the back way. He looks at you, kind of like he wants to say something, but instead kisses your forehead. "What was that?" You chuckle, cheeks reddening from the sudden intimacy. "For making my job ten times better last night." He says laughing and pulling you into a quick hug. "Oh that? No problem, anytime" you say and you eyes widen at the comment clearly stupid enough to come out of your mouth. "Yeah, I'd like that. Here, take my number call me when you get a chance to go out. And I don't mean just to do last night, although, I'd like that too" he laughs as he's trying not to blush. "Thanks, I'll see you around." You tell him as you walk out and towards the gate of the park.

By the time you get back to the hotel, all you want to do is sleep on your warm bed and bask in the way it felt to be touched by Jungkook. You let out a huge sigh and plop down only to feel someone tugging at your legs. "_____ !! What are you doing?? Where have you been? Wake up, we have somewhere to go. I promise you'll like it. " Lia says as she's tugging at you. "I told you I was going out. Where are we going? You didn't mention anything before" you groaned as you kicked her legs away wanting to engulf yourself in the pillows. "Come on, it'll be fun I promise." Becca said as she turned the shower on and Lia dragged you into it. "Wear something cute we're going out to celebrate Yoongi and Hobi making cash! They got the contract and are taking us out!" "Ugh fine, only if you'll let me come back early. I'm tired." You sighed making your way to the restroom and getting ready against your better judgement.

Once you got out of the taxi you walked into the diner looking through your purse and bumping into something hard. "Sorry, I didn't mean to," you reply as Lia's pulling you back . "It's ok " you hear a voice say and suddenly your eyes open wide and you look up. "____ this is Jungkook, sorry about that bro, sometimes she gets lost her headspace" Yoongi mentioned as you looked bewildered at the scene before your eyes. "It's fine, hey ____ nice to meet you, I'm Jungkook" he smiles wide as you take his hand and blush unintentionally at the contact. Lia and Becca share glances and giggle telling the boys to go sit down so you could have a moment. 

"What's going on" you say as you feel him tangle his fingers through yours. He gets close enough to not cause any suspicion but enough to put his hand around your waist and caress your side. " I didn't think it'd be appropriate to tell them I knew you as the girl who fucked me last night. Let's keep that between us, but…" he paused and got closer to your ear whispering, "this definitely makes things easier don't you think?"

[love-and-socialism]

There’s a new Iron Curtain falling. Here’s a tiny observation. America and Britain are on the verge of forming something very much like the old Soviet Union. A new bloc, a global axis, an entity that follows its own paradigm, trades among itself, treats its citizens like dirt, enriches its elites…and shuts out the rest of the world.

Let me explain, beginning with America.

What got America to this point? It wasn’t al-Qaeda or ISIS or the commies. As it turns out, the thing that wrecked America was good ole’ home grown capitalism. Now, I catch flak for saying that, Americans get instantly defensive, because capitalism is to them what socialism was to Soviets: neither really understand their ruling ideologies well, which is the point of an ideology, really.

So let’s quickly cover with what capitalism isn’t. Contrary to popular belief, capitalism isn’t your local drycleaner or bar or bartender or the guy that polishes shoes at the train station. It’s not really small or even medium-sized business at all. Those guys aren’t capitalists — they’re barely eking out a living, weary, humble, average. Capitalism is Goldman Sachs throwing bailout money at hedge funds to build bots to trade Facebook shares with by the nanosecond…so there’s every more profit. More, more, more. Is your local bartender obsessively, ritually, fetishistically, single-mindedly concerned with maximizing profit at the expense of the planet, democracy, and the future? Does he only care about increasing his quarterly earnings, to meet profit targets set by Wall Street analysts? Is his stock publicly traded? Does he have a fiduciary duty to those shareholders? I didn’t think so. He’s not a capitalist. The capitalists, my friends, are the robber barons of American collapse…the average person trying to start something new and cool and interesting, or just making a meagre living from their passion, isn’t a capitalist, a soulless impersonal profit-maximizing entity, and they never will be. Do you see the difference? Please tell me you do, because it drives me a little crazy that Americans don’t know what capitalism actually is.

(Now, this is more like the European definition of capitalism, it’s true. The American one is more like “corporatism.” Call it what you want — let’s not get hung up on semantics. I’ll stick to capitalism not “corporatism”, because Europe has corporations too, but they’re not as insane and abusive as American ones.)

Phew. OK, let’s get to work now. What collapsed American life? Capitalism did, obviously. It can’t have been anything else, because there isn’t anything else. There’s no public healthcare, retirement, childcare, etcetera. Not surprisingly, deficits of all these very things, which are the basics of life, caused life to crater. Meanwhile, capitalists, who by now had lobbied to privatize all these industries and many more began to charge Americans an arm and a leg (literally, maybe) for things that were…free…in every other rich country. Insulin, visits to the doctor, retirement, parental leave.

Fast forward to today. The average American is effectively the weird paradox of a poor person in a rich country. The majority of Americans can’t afford food, housing, healthcare, and bills — hence, they just go deeper and deeper into debt…debt which they never pay off, hence the majority of Americans literally die in debt, too. Yes, really. Think about that for a second. What happens to nations that plunge into fresh poverty — where the middle class implodes? Fascism does. Hence, American fascism ignited at precisely the moment when Americans plunged into poverty: not a coincidence — cause and effect. And what caused the weird situation of American poverty — a new kind of poverty, poor people in a rich country — was capitalism: it ate through everything Americans had, in its quest for eternally rising profits, which meant that they were left broke, perpetually on the edge, unable to afford the very things they were often involved in producing. Again — that’s capitalism: it doesn’t care about paying you decently, it just cares about maximizing its own profits, getting as rich as possible, everything else be damned. But the inevitable result was a fascist meltdown.

Now look across the pond. There’s Britain. It’s the world’s second most capitalist country. If you understand all the above about America, what might you expect to happen to Britain? More or less the same thing — only less so, no? And that’s what did. Did you know that the only two countries in the world with the combination of falling life expectancy, flat incomes, and spiking poverty are…America and Britain? Apart from maybe North Korea and the Congo…but those are places that never were democracies at all.

So here we have these two countries — the Romeo and Juliet of modern collapse. Europeans live pretty good lives. Sure, times are tough, they are everywhere. But only in America and Britain did times get so tough that the extremists literally rose to the heights of power and controlled the destiny of nations. Europe fought them off in its most recent election, in fact.

So the Romeo and Juliet of collapsing countries — what are they doing? Well, they’ve made their choice. Their choice is capitalism. They’ve both rejected social democracy. Britain’s rejected the “democracy” part — it doesn’t want to be part of the EU, and America’s rejected the “social” part — it’s still so backwards it thinks socialism is some kind of horrible curse, not how people get working healthcare and college and retirement in the rest of the world.

So Romeo and Juliet have made a kind of suicide pact. They’ve decided to go all in on capitalism.

And that brings us to now. Trumps’s in Britain, trumpeting (sorry) a “trade deal.” What does all that really mean? Well, it means the following. Britain is effectively a strategic beggar on the global stage now, and it has to take what it can get. What America will demand is that American capitalism has access to all Britain’s remaining public goods. Britain never built a full social democracy, but it got further than America did: it has public healthcare, education to a degree, retirement of a kind, housing, and so forth. All of those will be “opened up” to American companies, which is to say, they’ll be sold to them, privatized. That means American capitalism will now be running what’s left of Britain’s public goods.

Imagine the NHS for a second. Who “owns” it? Nobody and everybody does, in fact. Local towns and cities, if you want to nitpick. But really — everybody and nobody. Now consider the fact that when it’s privatized, there will be a dude — an American “hedge fund manager”, which means some clueless Ivy League nitwit — or two who literally “owns” the NHS. And the BBC. And the retirement system. And the education system. Are you getting my drift? How rich will that dude, the guy that “owns” the healthcare system of a country, be? Obscenely, I think is a fair term to use. It’s the kind of thing we once associated with failed states.

Now think of how perfect that is for American capitalism. Why? Because it’s sucked Americans dry, that’s why. They literally have nothing left to give. Less than nothing. The majority die in debt — that’s how poor Americans are now. They never break even their whole lives long. Capitalism can’t take more from them, because they don’t have it. Nor does America have any real publics goods to cannibalize. Ah, but Britain does. Britain’s expansive public goods — though they’ve been underfunded for decades — are just what American capitalism needs to prey on.

Why? Because the crux of American capitalism is ever increasing profits. It’s bled America dry in its quest for those. But that game is done now, as Americans have plunged into lives of dire and ruinous poverty. So where to look? Britain is the perfect target. If you can’t increase profits forever…you’re not going to stay a capitalist for very long.

Do you see how perfect this setup is? American capitalism needs fresh meat to tear apart and feast on. There’s Britain, who’s rejected European social democracy, and chosen…capitalism. It’s not just a marriage made in hell — it’s a suicide pact.

Here’s what will happen — what’s already happening, in fact. America’s declaring trade war after trade war — China, India, Europe. Britain is too — thats what Brexit is. But they’re seeking succor in each others’ arms. They are building a new entity, a new bloc, a new kind of Soviet Union in a sense. A part of the world where these two countries basically trade only with each other, do business with each other, care for each other. Where these two countries will have intertwined their fates, and linked hands in a shared destiny.

That much is already happening because it’s more or less inevitable. Americans can’t ever question capitalism — and Brits rejected social democracy. So where does that leave them, except together, in a new Soviet Union of capitalism, whose Iron Curtains are already falling, to shut their people off from the rest of the world, whether Europe, China, or Mexico? What else is Brexit? Trump’s wall? The coming trade deal between them?

Now, if you’re a Brit, that means that your life is going to get worse. A lot worse. Fast. You’re going to live like an American. You’re going to eat American food, watch American TV, and get American healthcare and retirement and childcare. Oh wait, there isn’t any decent version of most of those things. You see my point, then. British livings standards will plummet to American levels — which are the lowest in the rich world by a very, very long way.

If you’re American, on the other hand…this also means that life will get worse, too. That’s because instead of learning from the better parts of Britain — the NHS, the BBC, the Royal Societies, the education system, and so forth — America’s basically intending to take a wrecking ball to them. That means capitalists will go on getting rich — imagine how rich the dude that ends up “owning” the NHS is going to be — and Americans will go on getting poorer and poorer. But worse, because this new union, only really trading with itself, thinking about itself, listening to itself…it’ll just stay stuck in a loop of collapse.

I know. A lot of you will probably whine reading this article — “that sounds outlandish!” Does it? You’re missing the point, completely. Britain’s rejected the EU. America’s rejected the EU, China, and Mexico. Both have rejected everyone else, in a kind of mass delusion, a hysterical tantrum of macho man tears. Who do they have left? Birds of a feather flock together, my friends, when it comes to political economy. Europe is a union of social democracies. So what else can the last two capitalist countries do but flock together, too?

The last two capitalist countries on earth have no one to turn to but each other. Reinforcing that, of course, is a healthy dose of entitled white supremacy, to be sure. But it’s political economy that drives it. How can a capitalist country have a union with a social democracy? A socialist one with a capitalist one? They can’t — impossible. These political economies are too different — which is why, for example, America and Canada never really joined hands in any real way. Hence, Britain and America, in choosing capitalism, have also chosen each other.

So there they are, the last two capitalist countries on earth. I don’t mean: “the last two countries where any capitalism exists” — I mean: “the last two countries on earth where capitalism is the dominant, monopolistic organizing principle of all life, thought, action.” They’re star-crossed lovers, America and Britain, the Romeo and Juliet of capitalism.

Capitalism is what led them to collapse. Collapse is what made them to turn to each other. And turning to each other kept them firmly capitalist. Choosing to stay capitalist in each others’ arms took away the chance to join the more prosperous, modern, social democratic world around them — Canada, Europe. But capitalism was the very compound whose overdose poisoned their systems to begin with. How could anything but more ruin come from overdosing together, all over again?

And yet no one asked, no one saw, and no one cared very much. Their eyes were full of dollar signs, and their blood ran hot with the thrill of conquest.

Umair 

May 2019

[killerqueenrogertaylor]

Life Still Goes On

I wrote a thing!!

Roger Taylor x Reader. (BoRhap or Real, your choice)

5k (ish) words

This is my super late entry for @bensroger 3k writing challenge (I am so, so sorry to be so freaking late!) Prompt: "The phone calls are not the same, I can hear in your voice that it’s not the same anymore."

First part of a series.

Summary: You and Roger met when he was visiting America for the summer, circa Smile era. You get along pretty well but what happens when summer ends and you both have to go back to life as usual? 

The bar was crowded even for a Saturday and you were thankful you weren’t bartending tonight. “I can’t believe this is how I’m spending my Saturday,” you thought.

Most people don’t go to their workplace on their day off. Then again, most people don’t have a roommate coax them to go out to see the crappy local band play, which was setting up on the small stage across from your seat.

They were strolling about the stage all full of themselves, surrounded by a small crowd of girls. You rolled your eyes. They were mediocre at best and they always attracted an annoying audience. But what can you do.

“Waiting for Lila?” The bartender greeted.

“Yeah, she was supposed to be here at ten. Go figure,” You shook your head in exasperation

He smirked “Want a drink?”

“Yeah, my usual please.”

“Coming right up.”

The drink arrived and suddenly more people started coming in, attracted by the promise of a live band. It was almost 11, and you were pretty sure you had been stood up. A sigh left your lips. It was always like this with Lila. She was a pretty good roommate, but an unreliable friend.

You nursed your drink for a while and considered leaving. Then the band started playing a familiar song, as if beckoning you to stay a while longer. You started humming along, swaying to the beat.

I need somebody

(Help) not just anybody

(Help) you know I need someone

(Help)

“Mhhhh I love this song!” You whispered to no one in particular, sipping on your drink slowly, eyes closed.

“It’s a great song,” a husky British voice answered from a neighboring seat, startling you a little- “Shame the band’s butchering it.”

You turned to find a blonde, long haired guy sitting there with a cheeky grin and big blue eyes.

“Oh and you could do better?” Your mouth said the words before your brain could stop you, although you kind of agreed with him.

Your response was met with wide eyes, bright blue and amused.

“Actually, I think I could,” he answered with a smirk “Those drums are not even properly tuned. It’s a bloody mess,” He frowned and gestured towards the band.

“Meh, they’re mediocre, but at least they can keep the rhythm,” You shrugged. “So you’re a drummer then huh?” You inquired, propping your chin on the palm of your hand.

“Something like that,” he said, taking a cigarette from a new pack and placing it between pink lips, lighting it in a smooth movement.

There was something about the way this guy carried himself that was intriguing. He was handsome, yeah, but it was more than that, and you wanted to figure it out.

“So what’s a British drummer doing all the way in the States anyway?” You asked.

“I’m here for the summer visiting some friends,” He said “ Thought I’d come by, see what all the fuss is about,” He waved his hand, spreading swirls of smoke around you.

He was peculiar, you mused, in a good way. You enjoyed how his big blue eyes made you tingly inside.

Maybe it was the whisky, or the summer night, but you felt emboldened and reached for the cigarette that dangled from his lips. You took a long drag, blowing the smoke out in rings that rose unhurried in the air between you.

“And...?” You urged, lifting your eyebrows.

His surprise at your action quickly turned into delight and his lips curled up in a smile

“It’s getting better by the minute.”

His laugh was honest and soft, and you liked it, so you laughed with him.

“Let me buy you a drink,” He said

“I already have a drink,” You answered, lifting your glass and whirling it, making the ice cubes clank.

“I’ll buy you the next one,” He insisted

“I barely know you,”

“What’s your name?” He asked. You hesitated a bit but told him anyway.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Roger,” He offered you his hand, unable to contain the grin on his lips.

“Nice to meet you too,” You replied, shaking his hand in return. It was soft and warm, slender fingers wrapping around yours in a perfect clasp that lingered a bit too long.

Shouting and laughter erupted from a nearby table and it broke you from the moment, making you jolt and release his hand. You felt the heat rising on your cheeks, and you cleared your throat before speaking again.

“Your friends are calling you,” You said, nodding towards the table full of people that were hollering his name and calling him to them.

His cheeks were hot pink, and he turned to them, giving them the finger, yelling back “oh bugger off!”

He was met with even more laughter.

“I am sorry-” he murmured, waving them off “- they’re wankers. Don’t mind them.”

“Maybe you oughta go back to them?” You suggested playfully. “They seem to miss you”

“Let me buy you that drink,” he answered instead.

You inspected his face. There seemed to be no malice in his eyes, and you considered it. What was the harm? You were single and apparently so was he. So why not?

“Fine. One drink, but I get to pick where we drink it. Deal?” You said, extending your pinky towards him.

Your mischievous tone intrigued him and he was happy to oblige, intertwining his pinky on yours.

“Deal.”

You placed a bill on the bar underneath your now empty glass, as he waved a quick goodbye to his friends, who once again squealed and laughed.

“Come on, let’s go,” You said, grabbing his hand and dragging him out of the bar.

“So, where are we going?” He asked, following you through the crowd and into the open air. The night was warm and it carried the salty ocean breeze in soft gusts of wind.

“You’ll see. But we have to make a stop first. You still owe me a drink.”

A half hour later you were walking down the boardwalk, a six pack of beer hanging from his hand as he followed you.

“I like it here,” he said, looking out into the ocean that shimmered like silver, lit only by the line of dim yellow street lamps and the crescent moon. “It’s warm.”

“It is pretty,” You agreed “But you’d get sick of the heat, I promise you that.”

“I wouldn’t know. All we get in England is rain,” He said

“That sounds lovely. I love rain,” You spotted the path that went down to the beach and offered him your hand “Here, follow me.”

You guided him past the boardwalk and onto the sand, right by the ocean.

“This is my favorite place. For anything. A drink, a smoke, or just to think,” You gestured out into the beach, and proceeded to sit in the sand, tapping the spot beside you for him to sit.

You handed him a beer, and it was less than cold, but he didn’t seem to mind, taking it from your hand as he sat next to you.

You opened one for yourself and stared into the ocean. The waves crashed into the sand off in the distance, and they filled the silence, like a song being played just for you two.

“So, what do you do?” He asked with curious eyes.

“I’m a bartender by night, and a student by day,” you sighed.

“What do you study?”

“I’m studying engineering. But I don’t know, sometimes I wish I could do something different,” You said, digging your hand in the soft sand that was cool beneath the surface.

“Something different? Like what?” He questioned, tilting his head.

“I love what I study, don’t get me wrong. But… well, I’ve always had this dream… That someday I’d be an artist.”

“You should give it a go.”

“It’s not that easy…”

“Why not?”

“Because you can’t live off of dreams,” You responded, playing with the sand that slipped between your fingers.

“What about your family? Don’t they support you?”

“My parents … they’re gone. Closest to family I’ve got these days is my roommate.”

“I’m sorry,” He muttered.

“Nah, it’s ok, that was long ago,” You shook your head “But it means I can’t afford to fail if I want to get out of this town. How about you? Are you a professional drummer or something?”

“I actually went to school to be a dentist, if you can believe it,” He laughed, and you couldn’t help your eyes from wandering to his lips. "Then I got bored and switched to biology. But what I really want is to make music.”

His eyes lit up, blue like the ocean in front of you as he sipped on his warm beer, and for a second you felt as though he could see inside your mind.

“Oh, right, you’re a drummer… Do you play somewhere…?” You asked trying to distract yourself from staring.

“Yeah, sort of… I have a band. We’re decent I believe. It’s still kind of new, my mate Brian and me started it a few months ago.”

“Perhaps someday I’ll hear your band on the radio,” You said, nudging him softly in the arm.

“Yeah. One can dream. I’ll play for you sometime, if you want,” he said smiling, and you believed he meant it.

“I used to goof off with a guitar you know? I still have it around somewhere,” You pondered, squinting as you tried to remember where it was.

“We should start a band,” he said while his hands played an invisible drum set.

“Yeah, who wouldn’t want me in a band? Broke artist-slash-engineering student with minimal musical training. A total catch,” You retorted with a grin, taking a sip of your own warm beer.

“I can see the appeal,” he said in a more intense tone that made you feel warm inside, as if a glowing light were coursing through your veins.*

You couldn’t quite place it, but something in his voice, in his manner, was so deliciously charming that made butterflies inside you go wild.

All of a sudden his hand moved until it was on top of yours. His touch was hesitant, almost fearful, but you liked it, and it made your heart quiver.

“You’re an idiot,” was all you managed, breath hitching in your throat now that he was looking at you straight in the eye, blonde lashes glistening golden under the pale light of the far street lamps.

“Maybe,” he said, and his eyes went from your eyes to your lips, your heart all but leaping from your chest. He was getting closer and closer, still one hand on top of yours, while the other went to remove a loose strand of hair from your face, brushing against the skin of your cheek and placing it behind your ear.

You leaned closer too then, lost in the blue of his eyes. You wondered if he’d be the one to close the gap or if it would be you who gave in, your eyes fluttering at the nearness.

The answer came swift, his lips crashing on yours, rendering you breathless. But who needs to breathe, you thought, when there are things such as these to be felt.

You kissed him back, and when you did something inside you ignited, sending a shock down your spine like pure electricity.

He kissed you urgently, hungry for something he never knew he needed. His hands clutched on your waist, your back, eager for everything they touched, while yours were tangled deep in his blonde hair, prompting him to keep going, to stay close.

He tasted faintly of whisky and smoke. You bit his lip playfully and he responded with a low growl that sent your insides on a frenzy.

Your hands wandered around his arms to his shoulders, and so did his, traveling every inch of skin they found until you were a mess of limbs and you no longer knew where he ended and you began.

Finally, you broke apart long enough to catch the breath you’d been holding, and he smiled at you, resting his forehead on yours.

This wasn’t your first kiss, not even your 10th. But there was something special about him. Something different

“You have a smoke?” You asked, trying unsuccessfully to regain some composure.

“Yeah,” he answered, pulling the pack from his pocket and handing it to you.

You picked one and lit it up, smoke rising as you let out a drag. He was close, the warmth of his body radiating next to you. It was comfortable, and you leaned in, your head resting on his shoulder. He responded by putting a long arm around your shoulders.

“I’m not that kind of girl, you know? I mean… Nothing more is gonna happen. Not tonight at least. Not that there’s anything wrong with that...” You mumbled like a nervous teenager. He had a strange effect on you.

“Didn’t think you were,” he whispered in your ear. “And who’s to say I’m that kind of guy?”

You laughed, and so did he. The ocean then sang its song again, and you sat there on the beach together until the smokes were all ashes and the beers were all dry.

____

The rest of the summer went by on a whisper. Every night, like clockwork, there was a blue-eyed boy waiting for you on the bar, until you were off. It came as a surprise that he never moved on to someone else: he was on vacation after all. But you were happy that he didn’t.

You wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but your heart skipped a beat whenever you saw him come in.

Soon enough, it was not only nights, but morning walks on the town while eating ice cream. Movie dates where you tried to choose the worst movie and then spend the entirety of the time not watching it and making out instead. Afternoons at the beach, where you giggled like a maniac while he chased you down the shore line, only for him to catch you and spin you around, kissing you like no one else ever had.

It was magic, and you couldn’t remember when the last time you’d been so happy was. Not since before your parents died.

Still, it was temporary, but you didn’t care because you felt warm again; alive, and you almost forgot that it had an expiration date. It made your heart sink to think about it.

Summer wore on and you wished it could last forever, but time slipped between your fingers like sand, and you felt cold needles pressing in your heart, sharp and unforgiving, until you met blue eyes again and they soothed the war inside you.

You were falling for him and you shouldn’t. You both agreed this was all there would be, but damn if you didn’t want more.

“It’s for the best,” You tried to convince yourself. “I should focus on my degree. This is just a fling,” The voice in your head whispered. But it was getting harder and harder to believe it.

Before you knew, summer was over and it was the day before Roger had to leave for England.

You had agreed to spend it together, at the beach like that first night. You hated the thought of not seeing him anymore, but you always knew what you were getting into.

You met him by the boardwalk; he was sitting on a bench with a six pack of beer by his side. The moon was full this time, illuminating him in a silver glow. He smiled when he saw you but it didn’t reach his eyes. You knew he dreaded this day as much as you. But neither of you said anything.

As you approached him your heart felt heavier and heavier, almost as if it was suffocating.

“Hi,” you said as he stood up to greet you with a quick peck on the lips.

“Hi, love,” The nickname rolled from his lips like honey and you melted at the sound of his voice.

“Shall we?” He continued, holding your hand in his.

You walked those last yards in silence, hand in hand, until your shoes sank in the sand, and you both sat there for the longest time, looking out into the sky that was dotted with stars, like a diamond blanket.

The small talk dwindled down slowly, there’s only so much you can say about the weather with a heavy heart.

Neither of you wanted to say anything to make the goodbye real, but the silence was almost as unbearable, loaded with all the words that were dying to be said.

You were the first to break it.

“So what time’s your flight tomorrow?” You mumbled.

“8 pm.”

“I can take you to the airport if you want?” You offered halfheartedly. It was going to be hell to say goodbye.

“I don’t want to leave,” he replied, words spilling out of him like guts falling on the ground.

You sighed, feeling the tears coming, unstoppable. But you couldn’t. Shouldn’t.

“And I don’t want you to leave,” You managed, your voice breaking like the waves “but I know you have to.”

“It doesn’t mean we have to break up,” he pleaded.

“We said we wouldn’t do this, Rog. We can’t,” There was nothing you desired more. But the odds were against you, and you didn’t want a broken heart. Not more broken than it already was anyway.

“Why not? What’s stopping us?” He grasped onto the last bit of hope.

“You live an ocean away!” You told him, avoiding his blue eyes.

“There are telephones these days, you know?” The blue in the ocean of his eyes was the darkest you’d ever seen, and it was about to spill.

“And we’ll live off telephone calls? What happens when that stops being enough? We’ll drift apart. You’ll forget me and someone else will come along. And I won’t be able to blame you because it’s been years and we’re so far away. And I’ll have my heart broken.”

The words left you, and you were no longer sure if they were meant to convince him or yourself.

“Come to England. Transfer schools, get your degree there,” He said grabbing your face between his hands, meeting your crystalline eyes.

“I can’t! I can’t pick up and leave everything behind to follow you,” A tear found its way out and rolled slowly down your face.

“Okay then, I’ll move here. And we’ll make it work,” he wiped the tear from your eye, but new ones were already taking its place.

“Roger I could never, would never, ask you to do that,” You answered, lifting your hand to rest on top of his.

“How long until you finish? A year, two tops, right? So we’ll hang on, we’ll do the distance thing, I’ll come in the summer, you can go visit me too, whenever you want. And when you’re finished, we’ll decide, here or there. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is you and me, together.”

“Do you think you could do that? Do you honestly think you have it in you to wait around for 2 years? We’ve known each other so little time,” It was a last desperate attempt to convince yourself that it was a bad idea.

“All I know is there’s no one else that makes me feel like you make me feel. No one speaks with your voice or touches me like your hands. No one else will ever be enough, and you should know that by now. No amount of time or space will make me forget you. That’s a promise. Don’t you feel the same? I believe it’s worth the risk.”

Your heart pounded furious in your chest and you were sure he could hear it. Words evaded you, so you stared at him, biting your lip that tasted salty from the tears.

“Come on, give me something. Take a chance on me, will you?” he begged, and his voice betrayed the anguish inside.

“You know what the scariest part is? I want to. I really do.”

“So do it, because I’m in fucking love with you.”

The moment the words left his lips and reached your ears, everything else went silent. You all but crashed into him, kissing him harder than ever, warm tears still rolling down and soaking his face along yours.

“Is that a yes?” He said as he grabbed your face in his hands again, gently wiping the tears with his thumbs, a tentative smile starting to curl his lips.

“Possibly,” You answered, laughing a little. Your heart was screaming “yes” and you were not about to fight it anymore.

“Don’t say anything. Sleep on it, and meet me here, tomorrow at noon, if you decide you want to do this. And you’ll make me the happiest man on earth, so I don’t have to go back to England without knowing you’ll wait for me. And if you don’t come, well... Then I’ll know your answer as well.”

“Okay. Okay, yeah. But I think you know the answer already. God, I’m so stupid.”

“I know. But I want you to know for sure.”

“See you tomorrow, then.”

“See you tomorrow, love.”

“Rog… ?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m in fucking love with you too.”

He beamed, and this time his blue eyes smiled with him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The phone rang every night, for months, not a minute late. The thought of his big blue eyes that hid specks of silver is enough to keep you going. Just a while longer, you think, and we’ll be together. Just one more year.

And when you pick up the phone, you can still hear the excitement in his voice, and it fuels the hope that this might work.  

And it does, for a while.

But one day the phone rings a bit late. “Rehearsals went long, love.”

One day it doesn’t at all. “We had a gig out of town, I’m sorry.”

But there’s laughter in the background and something tugs in your chest when he hangs up without saying I love you.

Before long, it’s been a week with no word from him. You rationalize it, people get busy, and it’s no easy feat to have a long distance relationship. But deep down you know something’s wrong, and something’s been wrong for a while now.

Trembling fingers dial the numbers, dreading what might be on the other end of the line. It’s 4 am in England but you need to hear his voice, the only that can calm the storm within. It rings, and rings, and rings, and finally someone answers. It’s a soft girly voice that picks up between giggles.

This is not happening, this can’t happen to me, you think, but you know the answer.

“Hello?” The voice inquires, still giggling. Something rips inside your chest and in the background you can hear his muffled voice.

“Who is it?” He asks

“I don’t know. They’re not saying anything”

You don’t wait for him to pick up, for anything else to happen. You hang up and that’s when time freezes.

It’s beyond belief that the heartbreak isn’t audible because it feels like broken shards of glass inside you.

The phone’s shrill ringing buzzes in your ears, and it breaks you from the paralyzing realization, but you can’t face it tonight.

So you run out of the apartment, and walk, walk, under the moonlit streets until the town disappears beneath your feet and for a moment this is not true.

It’s already light out when the empty apartment greets you, and it has never felt so lonely as it does now. You light a cigarette with shaky hands, and take a long drag before doing what you know you have to.

This time he picks up on the first ring. You realize you haven’t thought what you’ll say.

“It’s that you?” He says in a brittle whisper.

“Yes,” You answers, but other words escape her.

“Was that you a while ago?”

“Yes,” Your voice is deflated, and he knows.

“Let me explain,” he pleas. “It’s not what you think.”

“And what is it then?” You’re not sure what you expected of yourself. This was definitely not it.

You thought you’d cry, or scream, or maybe just fall apart over the phone with someone who’s a whole ocean away. But the calm in your voice is cold, almost unrecognizable even to yourself.

“It’s just a friend. We had a party at my flat and she asked to crash here, that’s all. We were just having a last drink when you called,” He says, but his voice betrays him, or maybe you just know him too well.

“So nothing happened?”

His silence is loaded, and it’s an answer in and of itself.

“I knew this was gonna happen,” You say to the silence on the other end of the line.

“Love, it was just a kiss. Nothing else, I swear. I was drunk, and it was a stupid mistake. Please, please, forgive me. I love you, you mean the world to me,” he’s slurring his words, alcohol undoubtedly still running through his veins.

It’s your turn for silence as the shards of glass dig deeper into pure beating muscle.

“Please. Please love, I’m begging you” He pleas once again. It frightens him, the chill in your voice, the silence that’s heavier than any scream.

You sigh, the cigarette in your hand almost completely consumed. One last drag, and the words come out effortlessly like the smoke that dissolves in the air of the room.  

“We barely talk anymore Rog, and even when we do, the phone calls are not the same. I can hear in your voice that it’s not the same anymore, and it hasn’t for a while.”

“I just… I got distracted, the band it’s starting to pick up, and we’ve got a couple of new guys… We’re getting gigs every week all over the country, but that’s all. I still want to be with you more than anything in the world. Please, just stay with me, I’ll make it up to you, I’ll do anything you want, just please don’t leave me”

“I’m sorry,” Your voice begins to break under the weight of the realization of what this means “I can’t.”

The click of the phone feels loud in his ears, and so does the beeping of the dead line, the thought of the voice that has just left for good possibly. He swallows hard, still in shock. The other girl is long gone, but the guilt tugs at him still, harder by the second. He picks up the phone again, and dials the long numbers that by now have been burnt into his memory. It rings endlessly but no one answers.

No one ever will again, he realizes after the 50th try.

And yet, he still tries, every night at the same hour, like clockwork.  

On the other side of the world, the tears finally come, drowning the ringing of the old phone. And on your coffee table, a white envelope from the Imperial College London stares at you, mocking your broken dreams.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1 year later

The rain was falling, barely a drizzle, leaving tiny dots in the glass, scattering the faint light as you stared out of your third floor apartment window.

You loved the way the rain seemed to wash the city of its everyday dreariness, leaving behind a clear smell of wet earth.

Some called it bad weather, but you were fond of it. Although for August in London this wasn’t so much bad weather as it was regular weather.

You loved cold rainy days, and yet a pang of nostalgia hit you abruptly, as you remembered your hometown back in America. The west coast was as far as you’d get from this, with its golden sunsets over the ocean and hot summers.

Not that you actually missed home. Maybe the memories, or rather the ghost of them. Truth to be told, you had very little good things to remember. Except for that one summer, and the boy that got away... You shook your head. This was not the day to reminisce.

“This is my new life,” You told yourself. You could start over, blank slate. Ironic, that the place to start over was his country. But you’d applied to this before you broke up, and who were you to reject a scholarship on one of London's finest schools? It was a dream come true, finishing your degree there.

The university wasn’t far from your place, and you walked the few blocks under the falling drizzle. The air was crisp, a bit too chilly but it helped you clear your thoughts.

You entered the classroom but it was empty. You wondered if you had the wrong room, you had only been in the school for a couple of weeks after all. Then you noticed a lone guitar sitting on a table and went to pick it up. Metal strings sung under your fingers like old friends and you hummed along the tune, a small smile on your face. You were so distracted that you never heard the footsteps approaching.

“You’re pretty good,” A voice spoke.

You jolted from the seat and turned to find the owner. He was tall, skinny, and had an impressive mane of long curly hair. There was a shadow of a beard on his angular face and he sported a worn out brown leather jacket over a striped t shirt. He stood out from every other guy you’d seen around, and his smile was warm when he looked at you.

“Is this yours?” You inquired wide eyed, still a bit startled “I’m sorry, I was just waiting for the class to start”

“Yeah, I left it behind earlier today. Don’t worry about it,” He said, waving his hand  “Class is canceled, by the way,” He pointed at the entrance of the room  “There’s a sign on the door.”

“Oh I didn’t see it,” You answered, handing him the guitar, a bit flustered to be caught singing “Sorry anyway.”

“Don’t be,” He said with a toothy grin “You have a lovely voice,” He took the guitar and sat across from you on an empty chair.

You stifled a laugh, heat rising on your cheeks. “You’re very flattering, but I doubt it.”

“I mean it. Where’d you learn to play?”

“My mom taught me a bit when I was a kid. And a couple of years ago I picked it up again. Occupational therapy I guess.”

“So you’re taking this class? I’ve never seen you around before.”

His hazel eyes were fixed on you, making you nervous and you couldn’t figure out why, but you thought you already liked him. He was mindlessly playing around with the guitar, producing sounds you could have never imagined.

“I’m not from around here,” it’s all you managed

“Yeah, I can tell. You lack the accent,” He laughed “ America?”

“America indeed. I’m here for my last semester of engineering,” You replied “I got a scholarship. But this class was merely for fun, I always had a love for the stars.”

His lips curled up in a playful smile “You’re taking a class on electricity and stellar structure for fun?”

“What can I say? I’m a fun person like that,” You shrugged

“You say it like it’s not true,” He answered, resting his chin on his hand.

“Is it?”

“Well, I’m just an astrophysicist so don’t ask me.”

You giggled. He seemed like a nice enough guy and you were in dire need of a friend.

“That’s a pretty good guitar you have there,” You said “It has a great sound. Not that I can do it justice, but it seems you can”

“You should come by tonight, see its full potential.  I’ll be playing with my band in a pub near here”

“Tonight? I’m not sure if I’m free,” You answered. It wasn’t completely true, you had barely anything to do other than going to school, but his invitation had caught you by surprise and you weren’t sure what to do.   

“Well, if you turn out to be free, come by! We start around 10,” He said, producing a pen from his jacket and writing an address on a little piece of paper.

“Yeah, maybe I’ll go,” You mumbled, taking the paper from his hand.  

“I hope you do” He said as he stood up from his chair and started to walk to the door.

“Wait!” You shrieked “ You haven’t told me your name”

“It’s Brian”

[sanders-sides-rebloger]

Sanders Sides Disney Zombies AU Prompt

Paring: Prinxiety

A/N If you haven't watched this yet you'll probably be confused. This has been on my mind for a long time and since I haven't seen it I wrote a prompt myself! 

This r e a l l y feels like a shortened version of the whole thing, I've never done prompts before.  Please comment and tell me your thoughts on this!

Roman is a human and both him Virgil and hate each other

Roman is actually pretty rich, everything was given to him since he was little, he’s popular, and practically lived the life of luxury

However behind all that glamor, being known as the top performing actor, people in Seabrook will have expectations. Especially his parents, who need him to be the best of the best for their family legacy! 

 So he hides behind a mask of confidence every once in a while to blend in with he crowd or if absolutely necessary, almost a whole week or more.  

Virgil’s life isn’t too fancy. The death of a close family friend of his plus moving to a new school caused him to have social anxiety and a shy but aggressive exterior. No one really talked to him

His only friend being Logan, but they only hang out during school. It’s doesn’t matter though, Virgil prefers that being a lone wolf is the play it safe rout

Virgil sees Roman as snobby and full of himself, Roman sees Virgil as the kid who doesn’t really care at all about anyone too much

They torment each other almost every chance they get by giving sly comments in the halls or annoyingly teasing one another constantly. They honestly can’t stand each other

The day the apocalypse starts, Roman gets bitten and was lucky enough to be able to live on the other side of the barrier, one of the dilemmas is that he can’t perform anymore and feels devastated 

 Virgil assumes that Roman was able to escape before the apocalypse hit and thought he’d never see him again. Which he was ok with, he hates him but it’s not like he wanted him dead

Romans taken from his home and has to live on the opposite side of the border. He meets Patton and the two easily become close buds over one of them accidentally being hit in the head by a football

First day back at Seabrook and Roman is nervous as hell, he can already feel the odd stares at the back of his neck.

The days he’s back at Seabrook Roman can finally see his family regularly again. 

He confronts his theater friends and they feel awkward and don’t know how to react to Roman being undead 

They decide to take separate paths since “hey man, your a zombie now and things aren’t the same as they used to be” (I like to think that Remy is the ‘leader’ of this group)

Let’s just say Roman decides to stay with Patton for the rest of the year 

Virgil and Roman cross paths again and Virgil’s immediately shook like “Holy crap! The guy whose constantly annoying me is undead.” And it crosses his mind that Roman basically died but was luckily able to stay alive again 

He doesn’t know how to feel about this 

Having forgot about the emo nightmare, Roman stands there awkwardly stumbling over his words

In this moment Roman feels like a complete idiot and leaves immediately  

Noticing a big switch on Romans overall mood, Virgil eventually finds him and decides to ask him about it. Partly bc he’s curious and mainly bc he’s worried about him. Not that he’ll admit it or anything 

When they talk, Virgil is told the man feels depressed about how different, now, his life is

It felt nice to have someone to vent to

Virgil tries his gosh darn best to comfort the man bc he’s bad with people and realizes that Roman is actually a decent guy

 Roman grins, feeling a little more confident. Then thanks him for his efforts

Patton introduces Roman to his friends at lunch (It could be the canon characters or other people) and they all get along well 

Having an ego boost for once in a long time decides to try out for theater once again! Still having the burning passion of the spotlight dwelling inside him! 

Virgil overhears the conversation with Roman and the teacher 

He surprised to hear that Roman is rejected from the club. Reason being is that Zombies aren’t simply allowed and that was that

He does his best to reason with them, mentioning his Z-band and confirming that nothing will happen

It fails and Roman leaves with emptiness in his heart. Performing is his life and without it he doesn't know what to do next

Virgil’s pissed. Sure Roman was an a-hole in the beginning but he realizes that he’s struggling more than ever. Roman is still himself inside and they don’t see that

Flashback to Patton briefly seeing Roman talking to Virgil in what seems like a serious conversation. He assumes that they’re good friends now and reconciles to him about his friends recent gloomy behavior 

They talk for a bit about how in the world to bring his mood back up and Virgil has an idea to convince the theater department.

He convinces Logan to help, he doesn’t get much of it, but it’s help nonetheless 

It works! Roman is allowed to be in production for their next play! But for only one time to see how he does or if anything happens 

It’s a small role but Romans still a happy bean 

He goes to Patton, talking fast and all excited. Being like “I got a role! I don't know how or why but they let me have a small part! They must’ve changed their minds or something”

Patton’s laughs, and casually tells Roman the truth. “Heh, well you better thank Virgil for that one!” 

Roman gives him an unconvinced look since they don’t know each other. Patton tells him everything and Roman flushes. “Omg he actually wanted to help me?!”

He hugs his dad-like friend, over-dramatically thanks him, and heads for Virgil next

The actor talks to him and thanks him for everything. Feeling like he owes him the world (or does something else overdramatic to thank him)

They both hang out a lot more and become really close friends throughout the many months 

* After a while Roman falls first 

* The more they roam the halls with each other at their sides, the more odd stairs they receive

He gets anxious, Virgil hating that he’s the center of attention, just wants to crawl into a hole of darkness

Roman notices this and pulls him out of the crowd and into the Zombie Safe Room

THEY SING “SOMEDAY” TOGETHER. DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE THAT IMAGE IN MY HEAD 

They become closer!

Tis the day of Romans performance! Virgil bites his nails, feeling nervous for him 

After the first act Virgil congratulates him, feeling absolutely proud 

Roman uses his Z-band to help him have the most perfect performance he’s ever done! Patton reluctantly agrees to hack it for him, having full trust in his friend

It backfires and he ends up almost hurting Logan 

Virgil tries to calm Roman down, but he’s pulled away from him before he can do anything    

He’s locked up for further investigation. After almost 6 months of inspection, Romans let go but is under careful surveillance

It was a painful 6 months 

Virgil reflects during this period and finds that he has feelings for him as well. He realizes how much he doesn’t want to lose him. He’s never felt this way before. 

First time seeing Patton after so long, he practically gets trampled on by the crying father friend, and hang out for a while  

First time in seeing Virgil after so long, Roman gives him the tightest hug in the world, and whispered softly in his ear. “I missed you so much dearest...”  

A few days role by with Roman being constantly checked on during brunch and lunch period 

Patton was finally able invite the both of them to the zombie hang out party to celebrate and were able to sneak there

Roman plans to confess his feelings there

A bit of some awesome partying later (insert cute platonic moxiety moments here) they go to the second floor where Roman describes as the ‘best part’ of the whole place 

They sing Someday ballad version together! 

By the end of their song Roman confesses and they both slowly lean in, but since It’s past curfew a startling crash pulls them apart. It was the sound of the police evacuating the building

Before Roman could leave, Virgil desperately and quickly grabs onto his shirt, giving him a pleading gaze

 Roman lovingly connects both their foreheads together to try to calm him. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back for you. I promise.”

It’s been almost two weeks without a word from him, Virgil’s worried sick of course. He grows, tired, confused, and anxious since Roman hasn’t answered any of his texts or calls. 

There’s a knock on his front door

His parents open it and call to Virgil saying a friend wants to see him. 

Being tired and grumpy, Roman stands on the other side of the entrance. His mouth opens agape at the completely human looking Roman in front of him 

Virgil’s obviously still mad at him for practically avoiding Virgil for about two weeks but he makes it up to him by taking him to a frozen yogurt place as their first date.

He explains how he able to have Patton hack his Z-band to change him temporarily. 

Virgil soon finds out the whole human look thing is a surprise for Virgil so they can go out as official in public 

They have a great time! But looking closer into the actors once original structure, he feels bad for how he’s treated and assumed the worst of him in the past. Virgil tells him this.

He wonders how their relationship would’ve even started at all, if Roman was never bitten 

Truths were spilled about the opinions of one another, and apologies were made

Roman tells him he is forever banned from performing or going anywhere near the theater club. But he’s had time to accept this and appreciates what he has now 

After the date, the actor quickly escorts Virgil home, late at night. Almost in hurry to change back to normal so he doesn’t get caught. After all he’s on a strict curfew schedule 

He feels really bad for having to leave him right after their first date but he plans to make up for it the next-

Virgil looks around and determinedly pulls Roman at the side of his house, out of sight from anyone. His partner stumbles in confusion

 He grabs the collar of Romans shirt and pulls him down to his height. Pressing a firm kiss on his lips. Both men melting instantly and relax in each other’s embrace. 

Roman curls his arms around his partners waist to pull him closer, as Virgil wraps his arms around Romans neck

Roman pulls away, chuckling. “You know, I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now.” He smiles. Virgil buries his head into the taller mans shoulder, taking in what’s left of his scent 

This is officially one of the happiest moment of their lives 

They part ways with the biggest smiles on their faces going from ear to ear 

The next couple months go by with Virgil anxiously accepting himself in Patton and Romans group, strengthening their love for each other, and proving to themselves that society doesn’t control who they are in life  

[migleefulmoments]

Love how they prove they stalk this blog by adopting the terminology you use to try to insult us. Is anything this posse of morons do or say their own independent thinking? What isn’t parroted verbatim repeats of what ajw says are usually hilarious vapid attempts at insults.

I have noticed a few of my words tossed into their rotation, LOL. 

I don’t see a lot of independent thinking. In the fandom itself, I see a lot of parroted phrasing using the talking points created by the Board of Directors and specifically ajw. They like to get stuck on a pointless trope and they just can’t let it go. Right now they won’t stop talking about Darren’s mom going to an awards show. We will hear about that until the wedding throws them into a tizzy and changes the talking points. 

As for the insults....oh lord. They are something else. This new thing where they all gang up to viscously attack anons is interesting. I find it so 4th-grade clique-or like bees protecting their hive-they all run over and attack the person who is making their friend SAD. They can’t make a valid argument, so they just viciously attack without any actual critical evaluation or intelligent comeback-just like those 4th graders. They resort to calling anons homophobes, criticize reading skills or typos -which is literally the most disingenuous attack ever as their leader is the queen of the typo. They rant and rave about how blind we are to the PR narrative and claim they themselves are so clever they see right through it. They belittle us for “wasting our time” posting comments when they themselves spend all day doing the same thing. It’s a distraction technique. Calling anons “Mia Stans” seems to be their idea of a “fuck you”. The thing is, nobody is trying to be a Mia Stan. I know there are a few, I see their comments on Twitter and Instagram, but I have yet to see an ask on a CC blog from someone who is blindly obsessed over MIa’s greatness. People are supporting Darren and his chosen love.

Mostly, the CCers’ insults serve to distract from reality but more and more they  dole out silly insults which project their own fears and failings. This gem from yesterday is a perfect specimen to examine: 

“M looked absolutely stunning last night. Just like she did for the Emmys and Golden Globes!! Hate her for no reason but you can’t deny the truth.”

Here we have an anon who is engaging them. in a tiny bit of trolling. Anon isn’t  rude, isn’t aggressive, and isn’t lying- Mia always looks amazing. 

cassie1022 answered:

Nonnie, you’re entitled to your opinion. I’m entitled to mine. She was an absolute train wreck last night. If my opinion offends you, STAY THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG.

So we start off with an insult to Mia and a rude AGGRESSIVE response 

chrisdarebashfulsmiles”Check your sight anon. She looked better in some occasions in the past. And I can agree about the gg, the dress was OK but she seemed high. And believe me we have plenty of reasons to despise her and in them there’s no jealousy. 

Do you wanna Stan her? Do whatever you want but don’t come here reading if you don’t wanna see something that upset you.

Here we have several of their favorite comebacks; insult anon; denigrate Mia by calling her high. Then we come to our projection: we have plenty of reasons to despise her and in them there’s no jealousy. Nope, no jealousy here, nope, never. Next the “Stan” accusation and she ends by claiming the anon is upset when in fact it is Cassie and herself who are very clearly upset. 

ajw720

Oh Nonnie, I have tried to be good and not comment too much on her style, and I agree, she was fine at the Emmy’s and GG.  But she managed to top her previous worst RC look (ACS premiere) with that $15,000 mess on the CCs.  It looked like cheap lingerie with a skirt attached.

ajw always has to join in the fun-i’ve joked in the past that she is contractually obligated to comment on every anon/ask response in the CC fandom. She starts out with “nonnie” which is just a passive aggressive “sweetie”. She then goes right in- after “trying to be good”- and lets loose with the insults about Mia’s style, the dress, and the expense. Nobody is jealous here.  

And while I don’t love the original dress, it is far superior to that thing she wore.

You can continue to love her, keep deluding yourself that what they have is healthy and she is a good person, the truth, someday, will be revealed and you will feel foolish. I just hope that day is sooner because D deserves his freedom.  

She continues by calling her a Stan without using the word. Then we come to the second projection:  the truth, someday, will be revealed and you will feel foolish.  

flowersintheattic254

Interesting that the shirt under it makes it classier and no surprise she removed. Although if I’m honest to me it looks like corset with some bedsheets and pillow cases attached.

She stuck with pure misogynistic attacks on Mia’s style and dress. She insinuated she is classless, maybe even slutty with her word choice. 

stillgoingstrongforeternity

@flowersintheattic254 to be completely honest, the shirt under was added for the picture (not sure if it’s a promotional one for the designer or if it’s an editorial one, maybe @ajw720 can tell us where she found that), she didn’t remove it. Tbh I like this editorial better than the original. But the original dress is exactly how she wore it at the event :)

Stillgoingstrong kept it to mostly to facts.  

ajw720

Well if it was just added for the picture they should have kept it. Either way it’s pretty hideous. Mommy beard should have done better to represent her label.

@souly did send me the link to the dress for sale without the top part.

Truly you’d think if you had TWO purposes, enable your lazy princess in her drive to be famous and promote the brand for which you are president, you’d do much better than this.

And to think they posted m’s latest fashion train wreck the VW website.

Imagine spending that much money for this absolute mess.

ajw comes back and attacks Mia, Mia’s mom and the price of the dress again. Nope no jealousy here. It seems obvious but I need to say it: Clearly someone who designed the dress liked it and the person who approves the designs liked it and the person who published it in the magazine (with the shirt underneath) liked it and Mia liked it. Everyone is entitled to like or not like fashion but going on an outright rant about the failings of Mia, her mom and Vera Wang as well as the price is uncalled for and says way more about author of the comment than the designer of the dress. Also, because I’m being petty, I need to remind ajw that she momsplained that Darren’s parents participated in a “stunt” after the Emmy’s because a parent’s love for their child is endless. Same would be true of MIa’s mom, no?  

Anonymous asked:Knowing what M posts on her SM I don’t know how mama Criss puts up with her. If she’s anything like my mother.

Mama C/riss deals with her because D is one of the most important people in the world to her and she will do anything for her son, just like most moms.  And that sadly involved M.  

Anonymous asked:

If Darren’s parents know mia is fake gf they wouldn’t want to be near her. They have no reason to. There’s no way that contract includes them. Then why are they hanging out with her?

ajw720 answered:

Really anon?  Really?  These are his PARENTS, the two people who support him more than anyone aside from C.  Of course they are going to do ANYTHING to protect him. and right now apparently she needs to be integrated into every aspect of his life.  One (of many) things that has lacked is a close bond with his parents, so they are trying to rehabilitate this just like with so many other things.

Never underestimate the love a parent has for a child.  

cassie1022

Oh, please, keep these ridiculous messages coming. They are honestly giving me life right now. Anon, did you SEE the expression on his mother’s face in those pap pics? That’s not the look of someone happy with the situation. Love that M had to play nice and act the part of a somewhat decent human being since his parents were there. No kicks of love with steel toed combat boots that day.

chrisdarebashfulsmiles

I’m starting to make popcorn anon: your s*** is entertaining. What I find amazing is that maybe you also waste time in thinking all of this

As an actual parent, I can promise you that making nice with my son’s abuser would not be ONE of the things I did out of love. That is an asinine statement. 

[unproduciblesmackdown]

mmm i’m actually Feelin Ok today, which is strange, but i’m not about to question it, but also—tricky time of yr for not feeling a lil bummed abt ppl talking abt certain things!! like, you know, the ol “don’t get mad at people for sharing positive things in their lives” which like, yeah, true, its especially not fair to Engage with someone to tell them the nice thing they’re talking abt is depressing you or something. but it IS fair that it’s depressing you

i mean, in general, it’s just good strategy to try to learn not to compare yourself to anyone else / not compare your life to theirs. b/c you can’t!! there’s no valid point of comparison and mostly it’s gonna make u feel bad abt some shit so just. don’t compare. but realistically sometimes you can’t help it and sometimes ppl talking abt how they have something you don’t, like a good mood or money or something good happening to them, is gonna bum you out just cuz its a Reminder. smh

like there’s a lot of Positive Year End Memes going on today about “what good shit happened to you this year” and “what good shit is gonna happen to you next year” and like, as someone who’s just livin that depression life and has had some fuckin crap years since two thousand whenever and is rn specifically expecting some real rough shit from 2019 and im trying not to think too much abt it thanks....it’s just not the most totally pleasant experience having it on my tl. it’s not horrible either!! i’m weirdly okay today!!! but it’s a bit :/// at times

and like even when im having a bad day? i do like to know cool things are happening to cool people. it can both be happy And a bummer lmao like. it does cheer me up knowing things are going right for some people even if not for me!!! i like that shit. and sometimes i’m the one posting in a Good Mood way when i see other ppl are having a bad time. and like, you know it can be weird, there’s not really a Real Answer since no platform has “mood filters” ppl can use lol, you gotta feel free to talk abt Good Moods and Bad Moods alike.

like im never like “eegh the internet is destructive and social media is unhealthy” like—it’s just different and has different strengths / failings / framework etc!!! Sarcasm doesnt always work in text like it would in person coz you don’t have tone of voice, but we make up other ways to convey tone thru Net Grammar. and in person if someone was sad you wouldn’t go up to them and start talking about how great YOU’RE feeling, but when u do Good News announcements in social media text / email text / letter text, sometimes it might make someone temporarily sadder and thats not a failing on your part, it just Happens. just a thing!!

like hell im in the xmas haters club, i dont care about the day of, i had a decent time on the 25th just fuckin around online!! but i also Feel why xmas depresses ppl coz like. i don’t like my parents and my siblings are basically more of Friendly Acquaintances and i don’t consider myself having a family & the best thing in my life is NOT having to be around that, but as an abstract concept its like hmm yeah wish i Did have a cool family i got to spend time with!! sucks to suck i guess. wish i was eating a lot today and shit. oh well

like!! yknow!! i’ve been hungry enough at several points that even seeing pix of food felt awful enough to make me cry a bit. did i think ppl were at fault for posting hq pix of wedge cut fries!! no. did i wish they Hadn’t posted it, yes. did i Know that the problem was that i wasn’t able to eat enough and not that other ppl were and that them Not posting abt food wasn’t gonna help? obvs!! etc etc. not a perfect 1:1 point of comparison, but sometimes You’re Painfully Underfed and you just can’t avoid being a lil upset by someone’s food content.

[officialthiamlibrary]

Happy Friday!! We’re back at it again, with an exclusive profile of the one, the only @fandomtrashwhore​, aka Marie! You’ve seen her instagram aesthetics, from Hunger Games to Parent Thiam AU to New Years’ AU. And now, we had the opportunity to learn more about her creative process and her life well…behind the screens. Let’s get it started!

Marie! Why not start us off with a simple introduction. Who is fandomtrashwhore? Or the artist behind her? The twist: the word count should be equal or less than the # of letters of the characters in your favorite TW rarepair ship.

Theo Raeken + Mieczyslaw Stilinski = 29

My name is Marie, I’m 19 years old and from Germany. My life is dedicated to my fandoms but besides that I’m an apprentice as an technical product designer.

Ha, I see whatcha did there with ‘Mieczyslaw.’ Smart, very smart! A Technical Product Designer! What does that entail? Do you like it so far?

I don’t know if there’s a perfect translation for it and I’m bad at explaining (that’s why I’m not a writer and my answers in this interview are gonna be shit :’D). I like the 3D drawing part most and till now I’m quite good at it and even ‘job school’ is pretty good. I feel like Hermione cause I always know the answer and my grades are on point af (which definitely wasn’t like that in my previous schools. I never said anything in class).

Pst, who said you have to be a good writer to have a good time? Just do you haha. That’s what we’re all here for any. That’s super interesting though. What’s another thing our fandom would be surprised to know about you?

I have to confess that I didn’t really mind Theo or Liam before season 6? Like I knew they were there and I liked them but I was too focussed on other characters + I didn’t know they wanted to end Teen Wolf then and felt like they wanted to shove the main pack away to replace it with Liam and his gang. (Now I’m all over the puppy pack ).

AND I watched the whole show till 5B or season 6 (not so sure) in one go and that’s why it felt like Theo and Liam both joined around the same time. (Even if there was one whole season between them…wtf.) I remember that I sometimes couldn’t even tell who was Liam and who was Theo cause I thought that they ‘looked alike’…BITCH WHERE? This is more than embarrassing, but every time I watch a show in one go I have trouble learning the names (when the name is said in the show I usually know who they mean but if I talk about it to someone I sometimes can’t remember the names cause I watched 3 seasons within a week…. :’D ). I definitely need to rewatch and appreciate them more this time cause they’re such amazing characters.

*Actually Cackling* Were there any other characters you were hazy on? Like, would Garrett be the “angry, tiny blonde one” to you?

No it’s embarrassing af. :’D And I know who Garrett is and what he did and he was indeed an angry tiny blonde kid, but I don’t remember details. Sadly (I mean I think he only was there for a few episodes so I don’t think there was much detail so I’m good as long as I know his storyline). :’D

Truth. When I started watching Supernatural, until (at least) midseason 2, I called both Sam and Dean, DeanSam cause they were always together when someone addressed them. So, you’re not alone, eek. Now, THAT’S embarrassing.

So, how did you go from ‘kid, what’s your name?!’ to Thiam instagram aesthetics and our fandom? What drew you in?

I think I jumped on the train quite late (cause as I said I didn’t really mind them), but I think I shipped them before but just realized it last season. So, I think I first felt something for them during their fight in the hospital because I was ‘fun-shipping’ them (not really fun but I wasn’t deep into it cause I didn’t bother checking their ship name or anything but I was like ‘lol. They’re gay for each other) during 6B and then I completely lost it in episode 6 of that season and realized that it is a real thing and it’s love.

From that moment I was a mess and died the last few episodes cause I thought they either make it canon or kill Theo off (and maybe make it canon) but neither happened so….ok. :’D I’m sad that I only had like two weeks left with them but since then it’s been a wild ride and they brought me new internet friends ( a whole pack) and made me tumblr fame … it’s crazy how inspiring they are for edits. I just can’t stop. :’D

BUT how I found my way into the Teen Wolf fandom is a bit funnier I think…(at least for me) :’D

This has now become the moment where I ask, “Marie, can you tell us how you got into the Teen Wolf fandom? Lol”

Idk if it’s funny if you don’t know my friends and me personally. But I always had this little group to talk about series with. Mostly The Walking Dead and Game Of Thrones but sometimes other series. A friend of mine, Lucas, once mentioned that there’s a series called ‘teen wolf or something like that’ and that he knows that one character looks like one of our classmates (his name is Tobi). He was talking about Derek and even showed me a pic AND HE REALLY FUCKING LOOKS LIKE HIM (I mean in close up you know it’s not him but you know…).

He already had a beard really really soon (he looked like 20 when he was 15 or something because of it) BUT NOW he looks even more like Derek cause I met him again, like a year ago, in a club and he lost weight and is working out now and….he’s really a Derek look alike (I wish I could show you but privacy…).

After laughing about that I never heard about that series again till I watched the trailer on youtube, and I have no idea why, but it was around new years eve 2015 to 2016 cause I thought about starting it and told a friend of mine on new years eve and showed her the trailer and she also thought it was cool and we started it about a week after that and binge watched the shit out of it.

BUT I ALWAYS HAD THAT PICTURE OF MY CLASSMATE IN MIND WHEN I SAW DEREK. And I still call Derek Tobi when I talk to my best friend who doesn’t watch teen wolf about teen wolf and want to explain something to her.

Lol are you kidding me?! That’s hilarious! And, I’ll raise you. I have a friend Michael who is a spitting image of Scott–skin tone, jaw, hair and all. I wonder if your Tobi/Derek and my Michael/Scott met, would they have a Scott-Derek-esque relationship haha! Since we’ve veered towards Friends, let’s say you, 4 characters from TW, and 1 of you personal friend were living in a Friends-type sitcom. Who’d you bring into your inner circle and which antics would yall get up to?

Ok! This is exciting! So it would be Stiles, Theo, Mason, Liam and my best friend Michelle (she doesn’t watch teen wolf but the hell do I care). We would just be such a funny sassy pack. Do you know that ‘meme’: ‘My friendship comes in 3 levels: Sass, insults, inappropriate sexual humor’? That would be so us. Michelle and me are basically Stiles and that meme describes our friendship so well; we’re really soulmates so I want the whole pack to become that close too.. Theo is a sassy ass anyways and Mason is also on fire.

Liam would suffer under our jokes and always be the one who makes bad jokes only he laughs about and the rest just laughs about him, but we still love him. Michelle and me would ship the hell out of Theo and Liam (and Mason and Corey are goals af). Mason would be sceptical at first but together with Corey–I can’t have Mason without Corey…sorry?–we get him to join us.

Sometimes, Liam and Theo even go with it and flirt for fun just to piss Stiles off who somehow ended up stuck with us after Scott left for college and Stiles decided to quit the FBI and now works as a police officer at the station. Of course, Thiam gets real and no one really notice it at first cause we think it’s just another prank on Stiles until we catch them making out in my kitchen during a pack meeting. There are also a few other pranks since we’re the sassy pack. Stiles mostly uses his position as a police officer, like towing our cars or getting us a ticket. Theo’s pranks are a bit shocking at the beginning since he needs to learn how to be a decent human being. Liam and my pranks fail most of the time. Michelle and Mason are the prank master team; they always come up with the craziest ideas.

Yassss of course, Corey would be there. There’s always a significant other who’s there so often, they become part of the group lol. That sounds like my kind of party, all the chaos and sassy destruction. All the creativity, it’s the perfect segway to our next topic of the day: fandomtrashwhore, aka your creativity.

If your creativity was a person, what type would they be? What would they do? Wear? Listen to? Handle conflict?

I think it would just be a furious working single mother? Cause during the week I’m working and even if I have nothing to do after work I only seem to be able to edit at weekends and then I sacrifice my whole weekend to it like it’s my child. And furious cause once I have an idea in my head, I drown myself in pic finding which can be so exhausting and I bet I look like a stressed single mom during that cause I’m having so many tabs open and so many search phrases to throw at google in my head at the same time.

I also have specific pics in my head and I could cry if I don’t find a perfect pic to fit that image in my head. I mostly listen to the Airplanes playlist I made while editing but I also love artists like Ed Sheeran and Halsey so that would also fit quite well to keep that person calm and grounded. I also think my creative process is quite vulnerable and moody cause sometimes I can’t wait to edit and other times I feel like I never want to edit again and I need to force myself to (during editing I love it again tho). And vulnerable cause like I said I hate when I can’t find a decent pic and could cry. Same goes for if the app crashes during a long edit or if something won’t go how I want it and my patience dies.

Does that single mother furiously create outside of the Thiam fandom too?

Yes, I do social media au’s for all my fandoms (at least I want to, till now I only have a few.)  I’m not a writer but I have a started Sherlock fanfic with a trailer (I like the trailer tho and some one shots to several fandoms on wattpad. I’m ashamed of them cause I’m a bad writer but I can’t stop trying :’D So here’s my Wattpad. Don’t expect too much!!

I mentioned the trailer for my Sherlock before and right now I’m also working on a trailer ( more like ‘short movie’) for and OC (who ended up to be Marie Avgeropoulos) x Negan from The Walking Dead.Till now it’s 13 minutes long and I love the shit out of it. I never drew for a fandom before (german youtube back in the days, I had instagram fanpages. I still have them but I don’t edit for them anymore cause series took over my life. If you know german youtube and are interested contact me but they’re not that important for most of the people reading this, I think. ANYWAYS, what I wanted to say is that I want to draw something Thiam or rather Airplanes themed soon.

Oh AND I and my best friend (Michelle from before) used to write our fanfics (mostly about german youtubers) over whatsapp back in the days. It was legendary but also very unrealistic and hilarious. Sadly, we lost most of them when we got new phones which breaks my heart.

Dang, that’s tragic. Thankfully, you still have the memories. From trailers to Whatsapp/Wattpad fics, they’ve all led you to this moment: Instagram aesthetics. How’re you inspired when choosing a theme?

Most of the time I find a pic that inspires me to an edit theme. E.g., I saw the 3rd pic of The Buck’s party pic on Liam’s profile for the engagement & wedding edit coincidentally on tumblr or something and was like: “Yes, that could be Liam carried by Stiles and the boy on the right is Scott and the girl is Lydia and the pic was taken by Mason….why would something like this situation happen….A BUCK’S PARTY! I NEED TO DO A ENGAGEMENT AND WEDDING AU. Then, the other pictures and ideas just find their way.

I also accept requests (like the new year eve one) or I’m inspired by a post (like for example when I did the Thiam Mykonos one.

And when you search for photos, what’s your process for choosing the best ones?

Most of the time, the story of my au’s is formed by the pics I find. Like I have an idea and look for pics and then I see which pics make a logic story. Most of the time, I don’t know myself how I find so good pics and I bet I could never find them again (I tried once after I lost some), cause I found them so deep in the internet. Mostly, I google pretty weird sentences and I wonder what the NSA is thinking of me. :’D  For example, I googled “Throwing Tampons” for an Airplanes related edit once. I bet whoever observes me thinks I’m a killer when I look for aesthetics (especially when I did the The Walking Dead aesthetics) and googled for bloody pics. I nearly threw up a few times tho while doing so.

Finding pics is a harder job than you might think; I would say it takes more time than the editing itself, but I can’t say for sure cause once I start editing I’m lost in some sort of tunnel and suddenly it’s dark outside. When I want to google for ‘natural’ pics, I mostly add ‘snapchat’ or ‘instagram’ behind it (e.g. ‘couple eating take out food snapchat’). Also, you can find good pics on pinterest (my Pinterest name is ‘Marie Rosa’ btw), especially aesthetical and gay couple pics!

Deciding is even harder cause I often have 50 pics in my folder and can only use 12. Then, I check which one I definitely want to have in the edit and which I liked best and are the most decent ones to the images I had in mind.

When there are people on it, it’s also important that they look like the characters they should portrait. After that, I still have 20 pics left and cry because I love them all. Then I make two new folders to decide which ones are for Liam’s and which ones are for Theo’s profile and then I delete some more pics with a hurting heart (or I save them for other edits some day) and look which pics fit best together (when I edit aesthetics, similar color is a big topic). The biggest mess is when I get more ideas during editing or realize that one pic I thought I liked doesn’t fit at all and stop to look for more pics and the whole order I had is thrown away again and I need to start again. :’D

My goodness, I remember seeing you and Sammy (@glitter-cake20) talk about finding pics before on Discord, but that is…really involved. Are there times when you create your own images instead? If so, which edits/manips have been your favorite?

I would say the Hunger Games one was my best manip, but I also like the one in the Thiam parent AU  where I replaced Cody’s cat with a baby two times. And, nearly all manips I did for my Airplanes series, especially Disney Kiss (I just edited Dylan on Cody’s ex-girlfriend…lol…no regrets), the bowling pic, all the pack video calls in which I added some more heads and the ones of Derek and Stiles in NYC. I also love the one of Mason and Liam carrying watermelons in the Dirty Dancing AU and the whole Daredevil Thiam (+Morey) AU is also one of my favorites cause it’s so aesthetical. I mean in the end I nearly love them all cause I wouldn’t have posted them if not.

You’ve mentioned CaptainMintyFresh’s Airplanes a few times. What inspired the idea to make instagram posts for the guys’ journey? So far, which has been your favorite chapter to conceptualize? And why?

I don’t really know how it started but I was editing my other ones and Tagan kept mentioning certain pic scenarios. (I think it was around the waterpark chapter.) I was just like: ”She’s giving so many good patterns why don’t you try to make Insta profiles to the chapters.” It was one of my best decisions cause I loved it, even if it was a pain in the ass! I finally managed to catch up and since then I feel so empty…sounds strange but my past few months were spend with Thiam and Airplanes and suddenly, I’m free. I was looking forward to editing other things again and I did but on the other side, I feel lost and don’t even know what to edit or I’m not in the mood. I have an Airplanes hangover or something. :’D  

My favorite to conceptualize were probably the Disney chapters (it used to be the lake chapter but since editing Disney, I like that more) but every chapter was fun in it’s own way. (I’m planning on doing a commenting on the airplanes edits after Airplanes is finished).

I also think you can see how my skills improved while editing when you look at the first chapter edits and the last ones. That’s maybe the thing I’m most grateful about; it gave me the chance to experiment and grow along with the Fic and the characters.

Aww, that’s quite poetic. And, now we have Chapter  39 out, so you must feel the inkliest bit complete!

And, now I can feel the inkiest bit better about the next question to come.

CHALLENGE TIME! If you seen how BTS works, you know we love giving you the Time to Shine! For your first challenge, you can bring any of your insta posts to life in the TW Universe. Which would you choose? Set the scene for how that pic was taken.

I mean I would say the airplane series but it’s not my story so I’m gonna go with one of my single edits.

Then I would say the Parent AU cause I’m a bitch for parent Thiam. I’m gonna go with the pic of the crying baby with the title ‘Great. My son has my husband’s attitude’.

Liam sends Theo to the store with Leo after a discussion so he has some peace and can clean the house without interruptions. Leo won’t stop crying on top of his lungs in the middle of the store and Theo sighs while resting his forehead on the shopping cart (I hope that’s what it’s called).Then, he looks up again and gets his phone out to snap a picture and post it to show everyone that not only Liam is a whining little shit torturing him but now also his son. He laughs at himself for the joke which makes Leo stop crying and laugh with him instead. Theo takes that as an encouragement for his joke and carries him on his arm for the rest of the shopping trip, When they return home, he’s greeted by Liam who’s trying to look pissed but fails and just smirks at him and giving him a slight slap on the arm.

Hahahaha, yes! Dig it. And yes, it’s totally called a shopping cart (at least in my state). One final challenge before we wrap up? Since your images are always so unique to the theme, which pictures/ types of pictures would you use for these one word/phrase prompts:

Celebrity

Stuck at the Airport

Blind Date Gone Wild

Do you just want one pic or a collage of some good pics I would use? BUT I would love to do the whole edit. :’D

Heck yeah, we’d love a whole edit!!

FINALLY, done! Amen.

Wow!! I’m stunned. Over 80 pictures. 6 Days. 3 WHOLE POSTS!?! Plus Comment Posts! Honestly, how do you do it? Everyone, definitely go check these out; their linked with their respective challenges below!

[   Celebrity   |   Stuck at the Airport   |   Blind Date Gone Wild   ]

While we all marvel at that, can we expect any other Thiam instagram themes from you in the future?

Of course. I have an Thiam folder with 357 a folder for the upcoming Mockingjay AU with 37 and my airplanes folder with still 194 pics. Somehow and someday I’m gonna use them all. Planned is to finish the Hunger Games series, cause I still need to do Mockingjay and I also have so many good parenting pics left so there’s definitely going to be another parent Thiam AU and some random ones.

It depends on my mood and requests I get or if I’m suddenly inspired by a pic to edit a specific theme. I also want to make more of Thiam x other fandoms, like Maze Runner, Divergent and so on but I also want to edit for so many other fandoms and ships. Why is there so less time in my mortal life?

Who knows? If only time stopped during the Fandom spurts of our lives, then we could enjoy it as long as we wanted to. Aww, I’m sad to see us come to an end. Marie, what’s next for you?

Finish my apprenticeship in 2020 and have a job after that + moving out. The next thing I’m saving money on right now is my own car till august (I also want my first own TV and playstation and need a new laptop any maybe smartphone :’D). Other fix dates this year are german comic con in december or turning 20 on 27th June.

Of course, I’m gonna drown myself in more fandoms and editing (I mean I’ve already watched 7 new series in 2018).

Oooh, which new shows? (I know I said we were ending lol, but shows are my drug!)

I finally got myself netflix since streaming became officially illegal (it wasn’t actually legal or illegal before but they couldn’t do anything to you and it was safe) here last year and I used it to watch all the marvel netflix productions like Jessica Jones, Iron Fist, Daredevil, The Defenders, Luke Cage (which I haven’t finished cause Netflix won’t let me, every 30 seconds it crashes) and The Punisher. Jessica Jones and Daredevil are my favorites out of them. Then, I also watched How To Get Away With Murder….IT’S MY FUCKING NEW RELIGION! Coliver is giving me more than life. They’re goals.

(In case anyone is interested in what I’m watching and stuff here’s my TV TIME name: MarieRo)

OMG, Ok, Ok, let me end this before I start a rampage about all things Marvel. Thanks so much for hanging with us at the Thiam Lib and letting us get to know you! Is there anything else you’d like to add, including any life/creating wisdom?  Write until your heart’s content.

There are SO MANY intelligent things to say, but I’ll go with: Don’t give a shit about what other people think but always be open for other people’s opinions and teachings BUT don’t believe anything blindly. Just survive somehow tbh.

I have some other blogs on tumblr: @marierosaurus (random shit I like, sexual or funny af, just everything) @music-is-all-i-need-in-life (my music fandoms) @edsheeranfanblog (as you can maybe tell….a blog for Ed Sheeran?) @youtube-fan-live (blog for mostly german youtube)

(Instagram (about my traveling and just random private instagram shit): marierosarius)

I also want to thank you Minna for doing all this (bts is such a cool idea and keeping us inspired with the movie fest and stuff has to be so much work!) and especially for inviting me in the Thiam Discord pack chat 4 or 5 month ago. It’s been a wild ride and I maybe would’ve never known about that chat without you.

I love that chat and how we spend the christmas holidays together and thiam got so much more intense and it’s not even only about thiam anymore we also exchange about many other fandoms and we cried so many smut tears together (I mean that nsfw chat is on fire and I remember voice chat talks between in that christmas holidays we will burn in hell for and I love it :’D) and also fluff and angst tears but mostly smut tbh.

Just thanks for everything the Thiam community gave me, I said earlier that thiam gave me ‘tumblr fame’ and that sound stupid but it did, cause I edited before and nobody gave a single shit and reblogged or liked anything. Thiam was the best thing that could happen to me, even if I mostly edit for myself cause I like it and it’s fun, I can’t deny that it motivates you and makes you happy when other appreciate your work. Even not Teen Wolf or Thiam related posts / reblogs are noticed and it makes me so happy. Ok, sorry for bothering you with all my stupid talking. All I have left to say is: Meow

Awww, thanks so much for the love! Hahaha, our first Discord chat feels like so long ago now lol. And I also wouldn’t be here without my other Thiam Library Mods, esp Tiffany, Esme, Lizzie, Euthoxia, and Vis. They keep me inspired and grounded when life gets crazy. Just as you all, the Thiam Fandom, keep us inspired with your interactions and massive talent. We love you all!

With that, Behind the Screens presents Marie to you! If you want even more, you can read her questions that didn’t make it into the official interview here! Of course, the conversation doesn’t stop here. Not only can you chat with her on her 4 other blogs AND TV TIME, you can find her at these places too:

Main Tumblr: fandomtrashwhore

Inbox/Ask: fandomtrashwhore ask

Wattpad: Marierosarius

Instagram: marierosarius

Snapchat: marierosarius

Twitter: MarieRosarius

She’s also accepting prompts and the like, so hit her up!

We’d like to thank Marie for entertaining our many questions and challenges!! We have tons more BTS coming in the next few weeks, so stay on the look out for those <3

Have a Thiam Creator you fan over? Send us their names. Likewise, if you as the creator, would like to be a part of the Behind the Screens series, give us a shout too! We’d love to get to know you, as well.