The Weirdest Fucking Movies I've Ever seen Pt. 1
Okay so I sort of champion myself as a lover of weird movies. And it's funny because regardless of how many I've seen, every time I watch a weird movie I genuinely feel as if it is the weirdest movie I've ever seen in my life.
So, I decided to make a list which compiles all of said weird movies and then a description of why I find each so uniquely weird. If you find any of these descriptions or titles intriguing, I recommend you seek these movies out, because a weird movie = a good life ya know so yeah
If you have more weird movies please please recommend them im hungry for new crazy cinema bebesssss
Eraserhead (1977) - genuinely makes no sense.
Coherence (2013) - trippy scientifically interesting thriller
Some Velvet Morning (2013) - abusive cat n mouse relationship
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) - emotional violence
Greener Grass (2019) - let's shame suburbia!
Trash Humpers (2009) - people fucking the trash...?
Julien Donkey-Boy (1999) - mental illness be so sad and trippy
Gummo (1997) - literal photo album of a dysfunctional town
Slaughtered Vomit Dolls (2006) - bulimia PSA in disguise
Black Bear (2020) - art seeps into the "real" world
Begotten (1990) - god kills himself
Trouble Every Day (2001) - eating people presented as...a turn on?
Baise-Moi (2000) - punk feminist murderous women are sick and society sux
Palindromes (2004) - one character is played by a ton of different actors of different ages, races, and sexes
964 Pinocchio (1991) - so much vomit, even more cyberpunk lobotomy sex machine madness
Meet the Feebles (1989) - the muppets give each other STDs and commit mass murder
In the Realm of the Senses (1976) - a torrid, pornographic affair used to escape the horrors of a war-torn world
Enter the Void (2009) - going to the past, present, and future, POV shots that include blinking, going inside the body, taboo themes with a psychedelic style
Love (2015) - horny pseudo-porno about a misogynistic asshole who somehow pulls hot, sexually adventurous women
Climax (2018) - LSD fueled nightmare
Pink Flamingos (1972) - a competition to be the "filthiest person alive" (spoiler alert: the cool drag queen wins)
Vivarium (2019) - Suburbia is still creepy, guys
Be My Cat: A Film for Anne (2015) - can we please stop having erotomania like celebrities aren't into u babe :(
No No Nooky TV (1987) - Computers being cool and saying "boobs" and "clit"
The Piano Teacher (2001) - unsafe nonconsensual bdsm and sexual repression is...no. please no.
The Night Porter (1974) - stockholm syndrome and wild bdsm stuff with postwar themes
Belle de Jour (1967) - more bdsm themes
Titane (2021) - woman fucks a car and gets pregnant
Daisies (1966) - two girls cut up pickles and destroy the patriarchy
Creep 1 and 2 (2014, 2017) - murder has never been this funny
Garbanzo Gas (2007) - a human cow gets an all-expenses paid trip to a motel before it hits the slaughterhouse
Melancholie der Engel (2009) - ew.
In Our Garden (2002) - old men dicks + weirdest dialogue I've ever heard in my life
The Rehearsal (TV series) (2022) - this is the ultimate weirdest thing ever and I don't know how else to categorize it.
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Before Project Mayhem, before fight club, before Marla, before Tyler — there is still one sad sack of shit.
.
.
The hard part about work trips isn't making the plane or seeing another family of five burnt into their leather seats. It's missing support groups.
See, if you're lucky, the company will send you out to a major city. Cities are great. A little advanced work to find a slightly below average church or library, you're set each night you're there.
It's a bit of novelty, getting to be a new face all at once. People assume you've just been diagnosed. It's never the failed treatments, the degradation of their life and everyone in it, the continuous experience of knowingly dying — none of those things are the worst thing that happens to you.
It's finding out they will.
So people cry. They crowd around, I sob like I've been told I've got stage four colon cancer and three weeks to live. We all cry. I sleep soundly on the plane back or in the nice, four star hotel my company provides me.
Flying out to a small town, though. I'll be awake enough to be hallucinating by the time I get back for Remaining Men Together. The only mercy is that the next time I show for all the groups I missed, I can see who thought I died. I get to be resurrected.
The other part about small towns, you have to take a second, shitter plane to a local airfield, or you have to take a rental car. One of the most popular rental cars available right now, it'll light itself on fire if you use the cruise control at the wrong time. I know this because I sat next to another guy with my job, who worked for a different company, and he said I'll show you mine if you show me yours. So I told him about the faulty airbags, and he told me about the overheating switch.
I prefer to avoid driving.
All the rental place at the airport has left for me, it's one of those flaming cars. I use cruise control. If I don't, one of my narcoleptic spells will send me into the Jersey barrier.
When you drive into these small towns, you have to try to pay attention, or you'll end up a county over talking about the wrong wreck. They're otherwise interchangeable, but the miles on your rental car won't line up and those are the type of records that might get pulled out when the company is finally sued for the big one ten years down the line.
As a result, I see the same decor on the way in every time. Meth lab. Abandoned homes. Garbage fire. Classic Americana. There is no four star hotel here; I sleep the same.
The only reason I've been brought out here is because the poor shithead who drove his truck into the ditch drunk was driving my company's flagship vehicle. It loses power steering if the car jostles the right way going above 55 miles per hour. I've been told to keep track of potential incidents and make sure the company can firmly claim it's not at fault.
We've had this problem for decades, and we will for many more. Sometimes, everything is falling apart.
The job is simple, and I only get tempted by the town's blatant opioid addiction for a day and night. Painkillers would probably make me sleep. The thing about being a recall campaign organizer, though, is like recognizes like. It's not only other Compliance and Liability guys who tell you company secrets while sharing the aisle in business class.
When I'm finally back in my own town, after my own support groups, after crying my eyes out into Bob's meaty middle — I pick up my mail. There's the newest IKEA magazine. Half of it looks like shit. The type of thing you'd only see in some curated art deco, modernist, post-modern traditionalist bohemian minimalist apartment.
I have to have it.
I go to sleep, hard, like God himself tucked me in. I sleep with my wallet net four hundred heavier, because even an IKEA spree tends not to outweigh a work trip. I sleep, with my called in IKEA goods only two short weeks away, my job well done, and I know, my life is complete.
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Spadesgorudy shipper has returned! (I got this idea from the incorrect quote person)
Rudy, watching Asgore and Spade from afar: Two Bros, Chillin in a hot tub. Five feet apart because they think they’re not gay, BUT THEY REALLY ARE-
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Rudy: And now for a gay update with Asgore and Spade.
Asgore: Getting gayer.
Rudy: Thank you, Asgore.
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Asgore: Hi, sorry I’m late. I was doing a couple of things and got distracted.
Rudy: I’m “a couple of things”.
Spade: I’m “got distracted”.
(They actually did him-)
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Rudy: Who do we know that has handcuffs?
Spade: Well Asgore and I-
Asgore: *elbows Spade*
Spade: ...wouldn't know.
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Asgore: Why do you let me win when we race up the stairs? You’re the faster one.
Rudy: Erm... it’s nice see your smile when you win!
*later*
Asgore: He’s probably just staring at my ass, isn’t he?
Spade: Yeah, probably.
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Asgore, laying between spade and Rudy: I have found the meaning of life
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— ♠️🌸❄️
I'm sorry it took 12 billion years for me to get back to answering asks please accept my humble spadesgorudy donations
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