#FUCK GARETH ROBERTS

[doctorwhoisadhd]

hi. so not a single woman wrote for the sarah jane adventures

[thebowtieandtheglasses]

Looking back at The Lodger.

[verloonati]

A very funny thing about a good man goes to war is that like on paper, the idea of the doctor going all out and calling in all of their debt to fight overwhelming odds and save a friend sounds amazing. It's like, in a at the time 50 years old show this shit writes itself.

But instead of focusing this episode on Amy's trauma (Wich barely ever comes up after that given howuch of it is used purely for the sake of the twist and not like character stakes) moffat chose to focus it on the doctor "rising higher and falling lower than ever before". Wich uh, should not be the point of this story.

Instead of giving us a meaningful reunion of well loved characters, (like stolen earth/journey's end did two series before) they just brought back the pirates from that very forgettable episode and the airplane guy from that Churchill wankfest episode. A gimmick that moffat already used in the opening sequence of Pandorica opens where everyeaningful side characters of the season (and at this point the era) pass along that painting that barely have any impact on the plot (by Wich I mean it could easily have been anything else that initiate the plot and make as much sense). So because he already did this he has to introduce new characters Wich well if you're gonna play out the doctor calling in their debt, using said debt to introduce more than half side characters of the episode and introduce them as if the viewer was anticipating their return is a definitely weird move.

Instead of giving us a real enemy to fight, the church of the silence never really feels that intimidating. The headless monks are clearly just there so the doctor can hide under a hood. And having rory destroy a whole cyber legion just for kicks undermines the threat level of the church in comparison (that man can threaten a whole ass cyber legion what are some human soldiers on a teeny tiny base gonna do?). Where journey's end gave us daleks with a whacky plan to destroy reality, with internal conflicts and dynamics, a good man goes to war never feels that much like the church is actually that powerfull. All they got is an hostage

Of course a lot could be said about the way this episode threat homosexuality in side characters as a comedic punchline. Wether it's the nameless soldiers that get beheaded or vastra and Jenny first appearance their homosexuality is supposed to be laughed at.

And then again there's the "rise higher and fall lower than ever before" shit Wich Is? Very fun in the broader context of the show? The episode end with a tiny base evacuated with no casualty and a baby kidnapped. When you consider the shit the seventh doctor pulled against the old gods, and how far he went to manipulate his companion, what the eighth and war doctor sacrificed and the atrocities they commited in the war In heaven and the time war, the shit 8 pulled in the divergent universe. How desperate 5 was on androzani, how 4 faced the guilt of allowing the daleks to exists, how 6 got put on trial and made to believe he failed to save his friend. How ten almost become fucking rassillon 2, how twelve chose to wait in a torture chamber for 4 billions year and the moment he got out fucked up his whole society and his own laws to save his friend, how ten got gollumified for a whole year before getting up by a genkidama powered by the trust and love of his friend telling people about him, even how thirteen faced the litteral embodiment of time whilst her parent set the universe on fire for the hell of it. How litteraly seven episodes before eleven got trapped in a box by his enemies and had to manually turn off and then on again the timeline. Yeah I don't think winning a rock and losing a baby that you still know will be fine is that special among all of this.

[broken-clover]

Martha Jones is far far too smart and cool and pretty to have the shitty transphobic racist episode as her literal first proper companion adventure and then they have the Doctor bust out the ‘Rose would know’ line like I know it’s probably been said before but if she had chosen to kick his ass I would not have blamed her one bit.

[signiorbenedickofpadua]

Hi my name is Dream Morpheus Kai'ckul Oneiros of the Endless and I am the King of Dreams (that's how I got my name) and I have long ebony black hair that is really messy and inky black eyes like a starry night and a lot of people tell me I look like young Neil Gaiman (AN: if u don't know who he is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Robert Smith but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm not a god, but I have dream powers. I have pale white skin. I'm an Endless, and I'm the third oldest of my siblings (I'm ten billion). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love the designer Gareth Pugh and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black coat with red flames around the hem and a black shirt, black skinny jeans and black combat boots. I was wearing black nail polish, white foundation and black eyeliner. I was walking outside my palace. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. The Corinthian stared at me. I put up my middle finger at him.

[cchapsticck]

A couple things: 

The first album he ever owned that he got to choose on his own was Master of Reality when Wayne handed him 5 bucks at the used record store after he picked him up from foster. And he’s pretty sure Children of the Grave changed his brain chemistry. Like something in him got hard re-wired and soldered in place. Like there’s no unfixing that fix.

The first song he ever learned to play on Wayne’s old beater acoustic was Here Comes The Sun, but if anyone asks he says it was Smoke on the Water, which was actually second but the truth is possibly humiliating, considering his curated reputation.

He cannot read music. Which is funny, considering he’s had a “band” since 7th grade. He just kind of picks at shit by ear. Which he’s pretty good at, thank you very much. It's why he likes shit with solos, he can pick out a riff better than he can pick out a chord progression.

Said band did not lock down members with any kind of permanence until 10th and no one had any kind of electrified instrument until 11th because Jeff and Phil and Gareth might be better off than he is - drug money notwithstanding - but tuns out parents aren’t keen to just drop that kind of money so one’s kid can fuck around in another kid’s garage every couple weekends for that kind of price tag

Metal shows are few and far between in Roane County, considering all the ways it is. But the couple no-name bands that have breezed through town at the dive-iest of bars the county has to offer well - he doesn’t want to say, changed his life but - but he’s never been so glad to have been elbowed in the face because everyone’s having a good fucking time and without the accompanying “faggot” attached to the act, which he’s had a repeat performance of just. Generally. In his life outside of the shittest bars in Indiana.  

He’s not saying Zepplin II made him gay but Robert Plant’s face pasted onto that German soldier’s body made him feel some kind of way at a formative age and that’s maybe just something he’s going to take to the grave even if apparently the shittiest of shitheads just decided that was a true thing about him on their own.

Steve Harrington has been hot since, like, junior high. Which is horseshit. Because like, first of all. He sucks. Like, he’s a douche. But Barb Holland died and he ended up in the hospital because apparently those two things are related events and rumor has it he got kicked out of his house and he shaved his head about it and there are a shocking number of scars hidden under that disco hair and that, unfortunately, does not make him less hot or less of a douche. 

Another thing: Dustin Henderson is fucking annoying. Like annoying in the unremarkable way all nerds are annoying that he’s a little dead to (like sometimes he catches himself mid-tirade and thinks ‘damn, I’d kick my ass too’) so he gets it but also. He’s fucking annoying. He’s fucking annoying about Steve Harrington in particular which like. Hilarious. Go figure. 

And he’s got a lot of annoying ammunition in that particular annoying gun, because apparently Harrington’s been living in his basement. So the kicked out thing is probably true. A lot of what he’s got to say is anecdotal. Lives in the basement. Pays rent. Makes dinner for Henderson’s mom. Drives him to school. Owns a bat with nails in it? Which. Alright? That makes about as much sense as anything else going on. The weirdly dense law enforcement presence in the wake of the Holland murder (and those are feds, like, he knows cops, he grew up around a lot of cops - thanks Dad - these are not cops) and the ever evolving whatever-this-is of Steve Harrington which he is for sure paying a normal amount of attention to and not unloading his guts at Gareth and Jeff who for sure don’t want to kick his ass about it because are we all seeing this shit? It's been like 5 years of high school and this is a puzzle he is no closer to solving, as he is no closer to graduating. And it's not because he’s being a dipshit about Harrington’s gradual transformation no matter what Gareth keeps insisting. (he’s being a dipshit about graduating because he’s a dipshit - separate problem)

But like, something is for sure going on with Steve Harrington. And fuck him dead because he is desperate to pick it apart. It's got nothing to do with the horny goblin in his brain barking about the, shall we say, aesthetic realignment here (which maybe, like, is coming for the integrity of his own genre cred but like. Come on, man.) and it's got everything to do with someone like Steve Fucking Harrington willfully abdicating the throne to throw himself amongst the Maligned With Problems The World Will Make Your Fault. Like he had to have known the flavor of hell people like him and Hagan and every other one of those silver spoon fucks made of his life. And not just his, just like, anyone remotely adjacent in the social order. 

There’s this kind of unspoken truth at shows. Like metal, hardcore, whatever, any genre within a genre that fills up bars like this, like he’s pretty sure the punks even have this rule, this remains true: the more normal the guy looks the more fucked in the head he is. That guy is dangerous. That guy is working through some shit you cannot even begin to conceive of and this is only outlet he’s got. Like that guy will straight murder you if you come at him wrong in a pit and everyone knows it. You do not fuck with that guy. You do not make eye contact with that guy. So Steve Harrington in his tightass Levi’s and bright white fresh out the 3-pack t-shirt hugging the back wall of the Hideout on a Thursday night sure is a red flag. But red’s always been his favorite color, so-

So he buries his shoulder blades in the wall right next to him and hits him with a of all the gin joints and Steve just squints at him like he’s got no fucking clue what he’s talking about. Figures. Harrington always seemed like a philistine. Steve just runs his hand over his shaved short head, and Eddie swears he can hear the rasp of Steve’s palm over the noise of the bar. 

“You come here often?” And it's not not a come on and he’s a little prepared to get decked but it's also a genuine question. 

“It’s work.” Steve says, not unkindly but not really looking at him either. Like he’s not really interested in the conversation or Eddie at all.

“It’s work?”

And that gets Steve looking and he does not look impressed. It's cute. Which probably says more about Eddie’s ability to turn disdain into some semblance of private affection but we’re not going to unpack that bag we’re just going to throw the whole suitcase out. 

“Well, I can’t work the bar so I just pull people out of the pit. Work the door sometimes.” Steve says over the noise of the bar, by way of explanation.

“How about that?” he says with no small amount of genuine awe. “Mall work not cutting it for you, then?”

Steve just kind of one shoulder shrugs. Not cutting it in the sense that the mall like, fuckin’ burned down but. Y’know. Speaking in kind of a general hypothetical kind of way. Looking for a new career path kind of way. Less about the mall directly. Or at all. 

“Yes and no. I got punched less by skinheads at the mall.” and that almost sounds like a joke, like Harrington isn’t totally hating this conversation. Delightful. 

“And you’d willingly go into this line of work when Henderson says you can’t win a fight?” he says it like he means it, like he’s actually surprised. Because he is. Because getting laid out at a show is just some shit that happens sometimes. Assholes with something to prove, the wrong guy took an elbow at the wrong time, a drunk got in the pit and doesn’t know the difference between a good time and a fight, like, shit happens. 

Steve’s scrunched up face of repulsion and offense is additionally cute. 

“Yeah well, Henderson says a lot of shit about you too.” 

He may have been operating on the assumption that Steve actually had no idea who he was. And was just some weird guy who, for some reason, had a lot of personal information about him that was in no way reciprocated. Just kind of figured he would have been beneath Harrington’s notice in a big picture kind of way. 

Fuck you, Henderson, how dare you. 

“Only glowing reviews, I’m sure.”

“More or less.”

Alright he’ll take back point two, then. You’re on thin ice, Henderson. 

“Is that where the uh-” and he kind of gestures limply at the pit and then towards the thick, formerly stapled up scarring in Steve’s hairline. Like he’s come home from a show with a bloody nose or a black eye or two but nothing like that.

“No.”

It's the finality in his tone, when he says it that makes him suspect he’s fucked this up and the conversation is over.

And it is. 

So he hangs around the bar for the set and then he leaves and its not really all that interesting. 

But he thinks about that for a while, that something rattled Steve Harrington’s cage so hard he’s this now. Somewhere in the realm of quietly fucked up, and on the edges of good sensibility and good taste because its more comfortable out of a spotlight. Even if the dark on the edge of that pool of light is more than a little dangerous, but at least there’s a place to hide. 

And then Chrissy Cunningham dies on his ceiling and he has to keep hiding.  

[newtonsheffield]

I like to think Hyacinth uses everyone being distracted by Lucy's pregnancy to sneak around with Gareth.

One of my favourite scenes in OTWTTW, is when Hyacinth beats some lord with her purse during the failed wedding.

I would love to see a scene where Hyacinth defender her brother to Lucie's shitty family. "Only I get to talk to him like that!" Then tears a strip off them.

Oh I think Hyacinth thinks it’s ludicrous that Gregory’s going to be a dad a few months after he turns 19, but she’s also not going to let Lucy’s Uncle berate him.

So when Lucy’s uncle sees them out, Gregory gasping delightedly when he sees a Star Wars onesie, Hyacinth needs to step in.

“Luce! Look! A little Yoda! We should get this for the baby!”

“And what if we’re having a girl?” Lucy chuckled, adjusting his cap for him.

Gregory scoffed, “Star wars isn’t gendered, Loo. She’ll look cute as hell, right Hy?”

Hyacinth rolled her eyes, “Look… I hope she takes after Lucy. Then she just might be.”

Gregory flicked her ear. “Rude. You’re not allowed to hold my baby.”

“Lucinda!” A voice thundered through the store sharply and a man stormed over, his face furious. “Is this him then?!”

Lucy froze,swallowing convulsively, “This is Gregory.”

Gregory smiled putting out his hand, “Gregory Bridgerton. Very pleased to meet you, Sir.”

The man tutted, “Lucinda, he’s a child. He’s not responsible enough to-”

“I’ve got a job working with my brother, I’m a tennis pro right now and I’m-”

“A tennis pro?! Lucinda, he’s-“

“Shut the fuck up.” Hyacinth snapped, stepping forward. “Gregory’s trying his best in a tricky situation, but he’ll be a great Dad. He loves Lucy, he loves the baby and that’s what matters. Shut the fuck up.”

Unfortunately, Uncle Robert was not put in his place.

[hrodvitnon]

With Wingard out of the picture, there's now only a few options as far as directors go. On one hand, we could have other returning directors, namely Mike Dougherty and Jordan Vogt-Roberts. Because Gareth is gonna be busy with the new Jurassic Park he's making, and Wingard is obviously already off with other projects. And if we do keep the general idea of a darker, more grounded and serious Goji-centric story, then I'd say giving it to Dougherty would be the most logical choice. Though, it might be a gamble in a way. Because in spite of how many good things KOTM brought to the table, and how beloved it is by fans, it is still the most divisive and least successful Monsterverse entry so far. And with that, we could also end with the chaotic third option of having a wholly new director be added to the party.

It would be nice to see Dougherty make a comeback (assuming we don't get stuck with characters like Mark and Emma Russell or cringe at bad jokes (maybe it's just the autism talking, but how the fuck would anyone confuse Ghidorah with gonorrhea?!)), but I'm also not opposed to a new director taking the wheel... provided the director is also a Godzilla fan, of course. It's not a good feeling when something you like is placed into the hands of someone who doesn't get it, hasn't invested the time or interest into it, or worse, actively hates it.

[indigosandviolets]

some modern gareth emerson headcanons

these are completely random and all over the place lmao, but hope y'all gareth enjoyers, uh, enjoy

- this dude listens to a wide range of music, but you're looking at bands like Wolfmother, The Hives, The Raconteurs, Beck, The White Stripes, The Smashing Pumpkins, Modest Mouse, Cake, Toadies, The Offspring, Foo Fighters, Deftones, Rage Against the Machine, System of a Down, Pearl Jam, and Rammstein

speaking of Foo Fighters, bro couldn't figure out if he wanted to be Dave Grohl or fuck Dave Grohl

but in all honesty, when it comes to music, it totally depends on the bass and drums, because as long as they both fuck he's listening to it

this dude makes his own buttons and pins, but he'll also spring for enamel pins if he thinks they're cool

he also totally dyed his hair black once or twice, the first time being a straight up black dye that he got done professionally, the second time being one he did with Eddie at 2 in the morning using Arctic Fox's Transylvania because the thought it of it fading to like four different colors sounded cool as shit to him

Gareth wears all the layers, doesn't matter if it's 1986 or 2016, he probably dresses the exact same

he's got the same pair of Bluetooth headphones that he's had since middle school, which are covered in pencil marks, sharpie doodles, and random stickers

his child hero was Jack Black

his hero is still Jack Black

specifically School of Rock Jack Black

dude always has a random Wikipedia article open, not even sure how he got to the one he's on rn (he somehow got from Marylin Monroe to Jamaican Patois one time)

smokes a LOT of weed

he'll smoke a joint, but he has a really pretty red and black bowl and a matching bong that he absolutely loves

the bowl's for when he's on the go, the bong stays at his house

he's also done shrooms a handful of times, but he never really fucked with it too much

will totally be a trip sitter though

he's also a wake and baker, loves to sit outside and drink coffee between bong rips

he's always the one to refill the Brita for the morning after whenever everyone else is too hungover

yeah, he's never one to get drunk drunk, but he'll totally get too high and go to bed early, which means he wakes up in time to help everyone else deal with their hangovers (everyone being Eddie, Jeff, and maybe Kevin, but Kevin usually doesn't stay the night)

he's absolutely a little shit about it too

"Sleep well, sweetheart? Need any coffee, tea, hot cocoa?" in the most condescending of tones and a sickly sweet smile on his face

definitely has a lot of ear piercings, first and second holes, an industrial on his right, and both daiths

usually only wears black jewelry, but he has a good bit of sterling silver and some red too

he doesn't have any on his face bc he's not sure what he wants on his face quite yet or what he thinks would look good

totally has a stick n poke coffin on his arm and wants to do a patchwork sleeve when he has the money

he's a lil bit of a hippie, big fan of incense and has a crystal collection because he thinks they look dope as fuck

also definitely mixes cut herbs with his weed because he likes the mixture of smells when it burns, not bc of the metaphysical properties or anything like that

bro also loves the smell of weed, but in a tasteful way? like, it's not the main scent when you walk into his room, because it's mixed with other shit, but he loves the slight scent of it mixed with vanilla or frankincense or cinnamon

that's another thing, Gareth never smells bad. like, he has a very distinct scent, but it's really good

also, he's totally the kind of guy to just sit in bed and listen to music at 3 in the morning

just straight up sitting cross legged in his bed, headphones on, blasting Aerials sitting in the fucking dark

likes Weezer (only Pinkerton and the Blue Album tho)

his parents were super into classic rock, so his queer awakening was either Robert Plant or Jim Morrison (other contenders: Billy Joe Armstrong, Serj Tankian, Dr. Frank-N-Furter from Rocky Horror)

definitely read a lot in elementary and middle school, but got out of it when he started focusing more on drumming

he has a collection of band biographies from the 90's and 2000's though, the ones with the black and white photos on shitty paper, some of them are cut out and have gone on his wall

[of-monsters-and-werewolves]

OK but Harry Potter has like a fuckton of characters and though Terf Island is... well... terfy, how many actors are actually going to want to join the cast knowing the intense backlash they'll receive?

The only folks left are either the child actors who may not be as in the know, or transphobes and other bigots who are so invested in their hatred they actively want to support her and will thoroughly embrace the backlash.

I can see the cast list now: James Dreyfus as James Potter, Frances Barber as McGonagall, Amanda Abbington as Narcissa, Sophia Myles as Lily Potter. Episodes written by Gareth Roberts and Graham Linehan. Anyone else? I'm sure I'm missing prominent transphobes. But fuck me I'm cringing just thinking about it.

[booksteaandtoomuchtv]

Always Practice Safe Hex - Scene Rewrite

First, it is important to note that I LOVE this series. I adore this book. I have reread this series a few times this year. Ruben and Jules get their HEA this October and I am dying to read it. I did, however, have a small quibble with one scene. I get, for plot reasons, why the scene played out, for plot reasons, the way it did in the book...for plot reasons. But, I did not love it. I wanted to... fix it up a bit. If you have not read Always Practice Safe Hex by Juliette Cross, I highly recommend it.

So anyway, here is the scene in the workroom with the oily boss, written a bit differently. CW: Harassment in the workplace - this is taken from the harassment scene in the novel. I did not add significantly to the source material, but if the book was uncomfortable in this scene, my tweak will be uncomfortable as well.

Anyway, enjoy? Let me know what you thought of this scene and feel free to reach out and scream with me about it. Because I have some thoughts!! -------------------------------

Again, I push all my influence into my words, “get off me, Robert.” Again, the magic does not come. My voice sounds timid and weak. I shiver as the warmth of magic, a constant companion in my life since I could remember, leaves me. For the first time since I came into my powers, I feel true helplessness. 

The ticking of the clock is too loud, the bitter smell of old coffee on Robert’s breath too sour, the air in the room too cold. The room is far away, but the details are clear.

Robert runs his hand up my arm. The hot, moisture from his touch pulls me back into my body and the dread of knowing he could sever my connection with my magic permanently and I could not do anything to stop it. “Look how hard your fear makes me,” Robert growls into my ear, his body pressed against mine. 

Dark magic caresses my skin and I draw even further into myself, trying to retreat but finding no place for escape. Robert smiles at my retreat and licks his lips before saying, “Would you like to play a game, little mouse?”

Another pulse of dark magic pushes against me, this time demanding and determined. This pulse tastes like the burning, smooth taste of aged bourbon and wraps around me with unexpected warmth. For a moment, I am frozen before, rather than fear, I draw strength from the dark magic surrounding me. I sneak a glance at Robert, he hasn’t noticed. Of course, he hasn’t noticed. It isn’t his power I am drawing from and he is too focused on me to notice the new power in the room.

Livonia. 

My name is a plea, but the mind opening the connection between us is not desperate; it is angry and brutal. 

Gareth? Gareth? I repeat, praying that I hadn’t imagined my grim here.

Unleash Hell, is the only response before the mental connection is severed. I am shaking with fear and confusion, he’s ended the connection before I could tell him that my magic was failing, that I was powerless. 

“You will answer me,” Robert snaps, “you will answer, ‘yes, sire,’ to whatever I request. Understand?”

“Ye..,” I start to answer when that deliciously smooth magic presses against me again, insistent. Though it isn’t the sunny warmth of a late spring day that accompanies my Earth-gifted magic, this dark power, Gareth’s power, does warm and strengthen me. It seems to envelop me and also demand something from me. 

Robert’s smile has turned cruel, “I am sorry, Livvy.” He sucks in a breath through his teeth, “I will have to reprimand you…” Robert keeps speaking, but Gareth’s power has begun threading through me, demanding and urgent, pulling me from Robert’s gentle and calm reprimand. 

If I could have a moment to breathe, to think, I could get my magic back. I need Robert to back off!! Or maybe Gareth could step in any time now, surely he has noticed my power isn’t working, and didn’t he just tell me that he was some super powerful grim?

“What the fuck?” Robert snarls. I snap my head to where his voice sounded from across the room. Robert is no longer pinning me, but next to the door, trying to walk toward me and seemingly unable.

I look around the room until my eyes land on Gareth. He is leaning against the wall, looking cool as ever but his body is tense, aware. He flashes me one of his rare and heartbreakingly beautiful smiles, at the same time I am momentarily overcome by a heady rush of his power flowing, calling for blood, craving death, whispering dark promises. As quickly as it pushes it, it is pulled back, my own magic returning, strong and present as ever. 

I look back at this man, this wonderful, incredible powerful man with my jaw hanging open like a fool. “Did you just..? How…? Is that even possible?”

“You have something you need to handle before we have that conversation,” he says smoothly, his eyes alight with amusement. 

[ol127001]

fuck Gareth Roberts though

[aq2003]

well i wanted to watch it again with the new information of knowing who gareth roberts was and it was. interesting. that original script sounds like a nightmare so i guess it could be worse? the doctor never in his life would do that. what the fuck? i need to watch that episode to cleanse me

THIN ICE SAVE ME THIN ICE. i think sarah dollard is one of the most underrated nuwho writers she really is a prime example of someone that got a chance to write just a couple episodes but definitely made a mark bc both of them are absolute bangers. up there w/ jamie mathieson as my favorite writers for twelve

[daisylikesmedia]

Series 5 Episode 11: The Lodger

Heyy again everyone, today we’re going to be taking a look at the first of the James Corden duo of Dr Who episodes, The Lodger. Written by known transphobe Gareth Roberts, let’s see if this script is any good.

So The Doctor getting domestic isn’t something necessarily new to the show. You just have to look at how RTD ran the show to know that it can very much work. However, usually the domestic is intertwined with the companion relationship of the series. This time, we’re expected to become attached to Craig and his friend who he likes without any prior knowledge. When you look at companion intros, there’s usually a draw that makes you intrigued in how The Doctor and that companion will interact. Martha and 10 being shown as an unhealthy power inbalance, Donna being one who’s so willing to call out and be sassy with 10, Amy’s relationship with 11 as the imaginary friend. Sadly, Craig doesn’t have this draw. He’s just a regular guy who gets a bit weirded out by The Doctor and has a crush on someone. 

I feel like this may have been the intention of the episode? To point out and laugh at the quirks of The Doctor compared to the “normal guy” presented to us. But I’m not a fan of how it does this, as I feel The Doctor operates best as someone who’s aware of what he’s saying and being intentionally socially awkward to fuck with people, rather than just “haha alien dude is being weird”. He’s been around Earth for so long, he knows how to interact with people.

I do think the mystery itself is pretty fun. I like the “woah something’s alien about this house what’s going on upstairs” kinda trope, but the resolution to this villain isn’t satisfying. We don’t even get a face or name for them, and not because the omission of such a name/identifier makes the villain better. We’re just told “o it’s a tardis that someone’s trying to find the pilot for” and that’s it. WHO’S THE SOMEONE I WANNA KNOWW. Tho the cheesy love story that resolves at the end of the episode is kinda nice, and I’m not gonna complain about it. It’s very very generic as far as love stories go but it fits the tone of the episode well and deserves to be there.

TL:DR/Overview: My opinion on this episode comes down to the fact I just don’t like the direction it has. I dislike the characterisation of the Doctor in this episode, and the villain’s reveal (if you can call it that) is particularly underwhelming. However, the episode does do a decent job with the love story during it, and the mystery until the reveal is fairly satisfying. Tho I’m ngl, if a mystery fails at the end does that make the rest of it redundant? I don’t know, but this episode is another C tier episode.

[jeffstincotingz]

Oh. My. Gosh!!!!! Look at what I just found right here:

Here, as you can see, Jeff Stinco is listed on the website called OnThisDay.com, where they have listed him under the August 22, 1978 section underneath "Famous Birthdays".

Sometimes between 2018 or 2019, On This Day listed James Corden next to Jeff Stinco, who is still in the "Famous Birthdays" section for August 22, 1978, and I am supposed to be okay with that? This is not right at all.

Here are the people born on August 22, 1975. Jeff Stinco isn't even listed here, for crying out loud!

Here, they made Jeff's name go up in terms of popularity between him and James Corden. At least they knew something they didn't know about. But they still went ahead and made his year of birth/age incorrect!

Here is a full length version of famous people who were born in August 1975, and Jeff Stinco is not even listed on there, he's listed on the August 1978 section instead! What the firetruck?????

This isn't even funny. This isn't even that funny. This is not funny at all! Is On This Day joking? Do these people know that this is a game? I'm really angry about this. They literally put Jeff Stinco and James Corden right next to each other on the August 22, 1978 section on their website. You can't just put this iconic pop punk king next to some loser who does carpool karaokes for a living on his talk show and who can't act to save his life like that! That's not how it works around here, On This Day!

Here, in the world of Jeff Stinco, you have to at least fucking try to get his year of birth and his age correctly right. 1978 is not the year he was born in!

Jeff Stinco was born in 1975, meaning that he was born around the same time as Charlize Theron (who was born sixteen days before Jeff) and Rodrigo Santoro!

He was not born around the same time as James Corden and Kobe Bryant!

Jeff Stinco and James Corden don't even belong together, and I wouldn't want to believe that a beautiful angelic man like Jeff, would be born around the same time as some slimy slimeball talk show host!

Now what if I changed every single website and told everybody that Jeff Stinco was born in 1975 and that he should've been a Grammy winner, a Oscar winner, a Emmy winner, and also even a Tony winner, to make him become a EGOT at 47 years old?

Now that is some comedy gold right there.

Because Jeff Stinco, Charlize Theron, Sara Ramirez, Mbali Gasa, Sheree Murphy, Shelly Cole, Vera Jordanova, Daniella van Graas, Stéphanie Szostak, Eliza Carthy, Shaniqua Miles, Chynna Clugston Flores, Eicca Toppinen, Kyle Cook, Nick Loeb, Rodrigo Santoro, Casey Affleck, Taika Waititi, Mandy Leigh, Ingrid Rubio, Aryiro Strataki, Chris Nevin, N.D. Kalu, Trevor Pryce, Andy Hallett, Beau Morgan, Kaipo Spenser, Antony Cotton, Jamie McGonnigal, Renate Götschl, Rik Platvoet, Victor Zambrano, Alshermond Singleton, Edgar Renteria, Jimmy van Fessem, Koray Candemir, Jeremy Scott, Mahesh Babu, Mathew James Coad, Mike Lamb, Lise Mackie, Davey von Bohlen, Ronald Clarke, Anders Myrvold, Paul Gaudoin, Raegan Scott, Regan Upshaw, James Carpinello, Jason Gleasman, Joe Perry, Shoaib Akhtar, Mike Vrabel, Viaceslav Ivanovski, Bertrand Berry, Vijay Bharadwaj, Didier Agathe, Felicia Zimmermann, George Stults, İlhan Mansız, Simon Katich, Marcus Mastin, Marianne Garvey, Tracie Thoms, Alicia Witt, Charles Cornelius Smith, Clint Bolton, Robert Enes, Joe Andruzzi, Mark de Vries, Jeremy Horn, Molly Tuter, Petria Thomas, Morgan Ensberg, Shea Seals, Jonny Moseley, Mark Rudan, Gareth Farrelly, Jamie Cureton, Dante Basco, Radhi Jaïdi, Takahiro Suwa, Daniel Harding, James Black, Gaahl, Mase, and Mineiro all share the same birthday month and year as each other.

August 1975.

Is when these people were born.

That.

Just that.

That alone is literally funny.

Jeff Stinco and 81 other famous people were all born on August 1975.

It's way better than just putting Jeff's name up with people like James Corden, Kobe Bryant, Jess Margera, Kel Mitchell, Amber Brkich, and Countess Vaughn, and then claiming that he was born on August 1978, just like them, but he is not.

Holy Zydrunas Ilgauskas and Girmante Vaikute, I am so angry right now. I am so angry at these people and these websites not knowing who Jeff Stinco is and what year he was born in.

If James Corden ever starts doing a carpool karaoke episode with Jeff Stinco when he finally comes back to singing again on his talk show, I will lose my shit at this and there will be h-e-double hockey sticks to pay.

How dare you compare Jeff to that loser who is not a good actor, who is not a good comedian, his jokes are not even that funny, and oh, should I say this, he is terrible to his fans too, may I should say it again for once though?

I got anger management issues about three different things all at once: Jeff Stinco's year of birth and his age not being right by people, images and videos of Britney Spears attending the premiere of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood still being there on her name to this very exact day, and men with beards having no more than over 100,000 tweets to their names on Twitter and they are the ones who are child sex predators who does bad things to children. Those are the real things I am disgruntled about.

You're in a world into not being a Stinc Icon, On This Day. Screw your "accuracies" if you can't get Jeff's age right!

Make Jeff Stinco a singer again, On This Day. You'll get it right soon, you know? And he will get his singing career back and live his life in peace, thank you very much for reading this and goodbye ;)

[rassilon-imprimatur]

The Rival Presidency of Drornid...

Skagra relinquished his place at the controls. “You are familiar with the planet Drornid?” he said stiffly.

Romana nodded. “It was the scene of an incident in Gallifreyan history.”

“An incident,” said Skagra. He tilted his head to one side. “I admire your understatement. It is an excellent quality.”

“Thank you,’ said Romana. “Many thousands of years ago there was a schism in the College of Cardinals on Gallifrey. Cardinal Thorac fled to Drornid, declared himself President of the Time Lords, and established a rival court there.”

“Where he became known as the Heresiarch of Drornid,” Skagra continued. “Eventually Thorac returned to Gallifrey.”

Romana nodded, thinking back to her history lessons. “The High Council forced him to return by simply ignoring him.”

Skagra’s eyes narrowed. “And do you know what happened on Drornid, Time Lady, both during and after the reign of the Heresiarch?”

Romana searched her memory. “There was no mention of that on my history syllabus at the Academy.”

“Skagra grunted, and his hands flew over the controls. The holo-screen shifted to show another image. “Then it is time for me to expand your learning. This was Drornid during the reign of the Heresiarch.”

The holo-screen showed the wide vista of a city that nestled in a large valley. Towering over the buildings was an enormous statue of a hook-nosed man in the robes of a Time Lord President. “The Heresiarch controlled the planet from the statue. He set up a pacification beam from his court within, quelling any unrest or resistance from the native populace.”

The image shifted again as Skagra manipulated more controls. Now Romana saw the crowded streets of the city from ground level, with the statue looming down from on high. The citizens of Drornid shambled happily along the streets, dumb smiles on their faces. 

“Drornid at this time was an advanced civilisation, late level nine, early level ten,” continued Skagra. “But the day came, after several hundred years, when Thorac, as you say, left to return to Gallifrey.”

The screen now showed an aerial view of the city. Tiny figures teemed through the streets. “The pacification ray was switched suddenly off,” said Skagra. “The people of Drornid suffered a severe psychic feedback. The centuries of quiet subservience were over, and all the accumulated aggression and unrest spilled back into their minds. They tore their own planet apart.”

- Shada, Gareth Roberts 

Dronid’s first disastrous contact with the Great Houses was long before the War Era, in the period following the Imperator Presidency when various intervention groups on the Homeworld were beginning to demand greater involvement in the affairs of the outside universe. In these “difficult” times several of the more active groups attempted to make aggressive, highly-politicised statements to the ruling Houses. One of the more successful efforts was undertaken by the Grandfather of House Paradox: while one of the least successful was a minor rebellion in the ranks of the ruling Houses themselves. A small clique from the elite bloodlines announced, with great pomp and ceremony, that the Homeworld was no longer fit to do its job and that a new Homeworld should be created inside the Spiral Politic itself… right under the noses of the lesser species. The members of this cabal simply turned their backs on the Presidency, and removed themselves to a world where they felt the locals would treat them as the beings of wisdom and status they so obviously were. The site they choose was Dronid, then a world in its early industrial era, divided into autonomous city-states but with a rapidly-expanding system of trade and technology.

Yet the “renegade Presidency” is now only a footnote in history, nowhere near as well-remembered as greater rebellions like the Imperator Presidency. Why? The main reason is just that this new attempt at defying the ruling Houses was stupid, infantile and badly-planned. The renegades believed themselves to be following in the footsteps of the Imperator, doing something cutting-edge and revolutionary, but while the Imperator had been ambitious, bloody-minded and utterly ruthless, the new rebels were polite academicians and deluded bureaucrats who in truth knew next to nothing about concepts like ”warfare”, “conquest” or even “violence”. They simply didn’t believe that the ruling Houses would hurt them, and besides, they’d seen how confused and helpless the Houses had been after the Imperator’s rebellion. Surely, they told themselves, we’ll be safe from our cousins back Home?

They were, of course, hopelessly wrong on both counts. Following the Imperator crisis the ruling Houses had become distinctly paranoid, terrified that a second Imperator might make their problems even worse. These new rebels might have been hopeless time-wasters, but the Houses didn’t feel it was worth taking any risks. They elected to deal with the breakaway ”Presidency” in the most damning way imaginable: by ignoring it.

This is far worse than it sounds. As has been documented elsewhere, the Houses created and maintained the entire framework of history. To this day they see the Homeworld as the great ”eye” which observes that framework, keeping all its causal connections and time-structures in check. If this “eye” should fail to see some part of the Spiral Politic, then the effect on that world would be catastrophic. Ungoverned by the certainty of history, the world would be torn apart by the random probability-forms of the unformatted universe. There may have been House members on Dronid to try to keep time stable, but the renegades now had no link to the Homeworld, nobody to acknowledge that they even existed.

The result was a cataclysm, a front of protospace and anti-history which not only tore the renegades’ powerbase to shreds but ate its way through the culture of the world’s local population. The city-states of Dronid became terrified, insular communities, the inhabitants hiding behind their siege walls as neighbouring states were ripped apart by the colliding time-states. Once the attack of ignorance was over, and the Houses saw fit to re-connect the world to the rest of the Spiral Politic, the face of Dronid had been changed beyond recognition. An early-industrial society had been turned into a world of fallen nations and paranoid anxiety, while most of the original renegades were nowhere to be found. (Having a certain resistance to alter-time effects, it’s generally thought that they must have escaped the world before being consumed by the storm. Though the leaders of the clique were returned to the Homeworld, the others have never been heard of since, but if any of them survive then they’re hardly likely to pose any kind of threat in future.)

- The Book of the War, edited by Lawrence Miles, Appendix I: The Rival Homeworld 

[...]

Mr Gabriel reached for the Blue Dog. “So, you want to get yourself off Drornid while you’ve still got all your legs?”

Mr Qixotl felt like hissing. He hated people who did that. Technically, this planet was supposed to be called “Drornid”; that was the name the locals had always used, anyway. But there’d been a typo in the first edition of Bartholomew’s Planetary Gazeteer, so the rest of the universe called it “Dronid”, including the off-worlders who came to make a living/killing here. And, as the off-worlders were at the heart of the planet’s economy, most of the natives went along with them. Some people always had to be picky, though.

- Alien Bodies, Lawrence Miles

(Obviously the contradiction between the Shada novelization account and The Book of the War/War in Heaven account is that most of Gareth Roberts’ expansions are his own invention... to my knowledge, Douglas Adams hadn’t actually developed the history of Dro(r)nid that deeply, other than the idea that a renegade Time Lord had set up shop and then got ignored by Gallifrey. This contradictory gap is a really fascinating spark of theorizing/headcanoning; how can the Rival Homeworld be a millennia-old event taught in Academy history, while only being a result of the Morbius’ Crisis, which, according to The Book of the War, a mere few years before the Doctor left Gallifrey? War propoganda? Rewriting of Gallifrey history to hide the unpleasantness? You decide!)