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#Fast Attack Craft Market Size
vipinmishra · 5 months
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Understanding the Global Fast Attack Craft Market Landscape
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Fast Attack Craft Market - Geopolitical Tensions and Maritime Security, Increased Emphasis on Multi-Mission Capabilities, and Technological Advancements and Innovation are factors driving the market in the forecast period 2024-2028.
According to TechSci Research report, “Global Fast Attack Craft Market - Industry Size, Share, Trends, Competition Forecast & Opportunities, 2028”, the Global Fast Attack Craft Market stood at USD 4.5 billion in 2022 and is anticipated to grow with a CAGR of 6.19% in the forecast period, 2024-2028. Equipped with anti-ship missiles, torpedoes, and cannons, a fast attack craft (FAC) is a compact, maneuverable, swift, and attack-capable vessel. Rapid assault boats are employed in several missions, including anti-piracy, anti-surface, anti-air, and marine patrol. Since quick attack ships are less capable of defense, they are typically chosen in coastal areas as opposed to the middle of the ocean.
Their primary usage is in offensive roles. Even enormous capital ships can be seriously threatened by swift attack craft equipped with guided missiles. FAC becomes extremely successful when employed in tandem with new cutting-edge warfare systems like integrated security systems, underwater acoustic weapons, virtual fences, and multi-static antisubmarine warfare capability enhancements (MACE).
The global fast attack craft (FAC) market represents a critical segment within the defense industry, addressing the need for nimble and highly maneuverable naval vessels designed for rapid response and close-quarters combat scenarios. The global FAC market has experienced substantial growth in recent years, driven by evolving security challenges, maritime conflicts, and the need for versatile naval assets capable of swift and precise responses. These vessels are specifically designed to counter various threats, including piracy, smuggling, and asymmetric warfare, making them indispensable in today's complex security environment.
One of the primary drivers behind the growth of the global FAC market is the increasing demand for coastal defense and littoral warfare capabilities. Coastal regions have become focal points of global geopolitical tensions, with nations striving to protect their territorial waters, critical infrastructure, and offshore assets. In this context, FACs offer a cost-effective and flexible solution, as they can operate efficiently in shallow waters and congested sea lanes.
Browse over market data Figures spread through XX Pages and an in-depth TOC on "Global Fast Attack Craft Market.”  https://www.techsciresearch.com/report/fast-attack-craft-market/21510.html
Moreover, the market has seen substantial investment in the development of technologically advanced FACs. These vessels are equipped with cutting-edge systems, including advanced sensors, radar, sonar, and guided weapon systems, to enhance their situational awareness and offensive capabilities. The integration of advanced electronic warfare and stealth technologies enables FACs to operate covertly and engage hostile forces effectively. One prominent trend in the global FAC market is the emphasis on modularity and mission flexibility. Many FACs are designed with modular systems that can be easily configured for different mission profiles, such as anti-ship warfare, anti-submarine warfare, and mine countermeasures. This modularity enables naval forces to adapt quickly to changing operational requirements, providing a cost-effective solution for various tasks.
Additionally, FACs are increasingly incorporating unmanned systems, such as unmanned surface vessels (USVs) and unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs), to expand their operational reach and reconnaissance capabilities. These unmanned assets can enhance the FAC's surveillance and strike capabilities while minimizing risk to crew members in high-threat scenarios. The global FAC market also exhibits a growing focus on improving propulsion systems. Enhanced powerplants, such as waterjet propulsion and hybrid propulsion systems, are being adopted to provide greater speed and maneuverability. These systems allow FACs to operate in shallow waters and at high speeds, making them highly effective for interception and response operations.
Furthermore, international collaboration is becoming more prevalent in the global FAC market. Many nations are pooling resources, sharing technologies, and collaborating on joint projects to enhance their FAC capabilities and maintain a stronger presence in shared littoral regions. This collaboration extends to joint exercises, maritime security initiatives, and information sharing to foster regional stability and security.
The global FAC market plays a crucial role in addressing modern security challenges, including countering piracy and smuggling, safeguarding territorial waters, and responding to asymmetric threats. These vessels offer a cost-effective and agile solution for coastal defense, littoral warfare, and the protection of vital maritime interests. As geopolitical tensions continue to evolve, and the need for quick and precise naval responses persists, the global FAC market remains a dynamic and vital component of the defense industry.
The global fast attack craft (FAC) market is experiencing significant growth and evolution due to the increasing demand for coastal defense, the integration of advanced technologies, modularity, mission flexibility, unmanned systems, enhanced propulsion, international collaboration, and the development of shore-based anti-ship missile systems. These trends reflect the market's commitment to addressing contemporary security challenges, making FACs indispensable assets for littoral warfare and coastal defense. As the security environment continues to change, the global FAC market will remain a pivotal part of the naval and defense landscape, providing rapid and effective responses to maritime threats and conflicts.
Major companies operating in Global Fast Attack Craft Market are:
China Shipbuilding & Offshore International Co Ltd
Garden Reach Shipbuilders and Engineers
BAE Systems PLC
Hanjin Heavy Industries & Construction
CMN Group
Damen Shipyards Group
Navantia
Fincantieri – Cantieri Navaliltaliani SpA
Goa Shipyard Limited.
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“The global fast attack craft (FAC) market is a vital component of modern naval defense, catering to the need for agile, high-speed vessels capable of swift responses to maritime threats. This market is witnessing substantial growth due to evolving security challenges in coastal and littoral regions. FACs are crucial for countering piracy, smuggling, and asymmetric threats, making them essential assets for coastal defense. These vessels are equipped with advanced technologies, modularity, and mission flexibility, enabling them to adapt to changing operational requirements.
Additionally, the integration of unmanned systems and enhanced propulsion systems enhances their surveillance and strike capabilities. As nations collaborate and invest in FAC fleets, this market remains dynamic and indispensable for safeguarding maritime interests and territorial waters.” said Mr. Karan Chechi, Research Director with TechSci Research, a research-based management consulting firm.
“Fast Attack Craft Market – Global Industry Size, Share, Trends, Opportunity, and Forecast, Segmented By Application (Missile armed FAC, Non-missile armed FAC), By End User (National Defense, Fighting, Others), By Region, Competition, 2018-2028”, has evaluated the future growth potential of Global Fast Attack Craft Market and provides statistics & information on market size, structure and future market growth. The report intends to provide cutting-edge market intelligence and help decision makers take sound investment decisions. Besides, the report also identifies and analyzes the emerging trends along with essential drivers, challenges, and opportunities in Global Fast Attack Craft Market.
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meoproject · 14 days
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Beriith's aging! For fun. And loredump I guess.
I kept the exact years vague because I keep going back on how old Beriith is/how long-lived his race is... I can't really make up my mind, so any definite number I've ever given as his age needs to be taken with a grain of salt because it's probably not relevant anymore. I know the Goet (Beriith's species) are longer lived than say, elves, but I haven't really decided how long-lived exactly, I don't want any humanoid species in setting to have average age over 500 even if this is a fantasy setting... and uhh I haven't really decided how they'd age anyway (though as a reminder, all the loner lived species in this setting age like humans until young adulthood for my convenience, so I can say "5 yr old Beriith" and he would actually be comparable to a five-year-old human child). All I know I want Beriith to be a dilf for a while still because to me... that is peak.
Also I'm planning on making one for Val too. She's probably going to have 1 or 2 less "age stages" because she's younger, but there's still a lot I wanna talk about when it comes to her past, so!
Anyway. Sorry this is long.
CHILDHOOD: Beriith is an only child. Even as a young child, he is serious and stubborn. His parents are two craftsmen/artists: his father does pottery and other assorted clayware, while his mother creates jewelry. They have a small shop and workspace attached to the house they live in, and also travel to fairs and markets to sell their wares. They hope that their child will grow up to take interest in either of their crafts and continue the family business in some form. As a young child, Beriith does not care about pottery or jewelry, even if his parents try to encourage him.
When he is about seven or eight years old, his family is part of a traveling caravan, enroute to a more distant marketplace, and they get attacked by a monster. A traveling warrior happens to be nearby, and single-handedly kills the monster, saving the lives of many. Beriith sees the whole fight and knows instantly what he wants from life. 
TEENAGER: Beriith's parents are against him training to become a swordsman. They love their son but don't understand why he'd rather do that than focus on art or creativity. A family friend convinces them to let Beriith become a local retired guardsman apprentice: the friend reasons that the boy will either become fed up with the hard physical work required and come back, or he excels, and Beriith's parents wouldn't be able to keep him home anyway, not long term. So, eventually, they relent and let Beriith go.
Under the guidance of an experienced warrior, Beriith indeed excels at his training. In his late teens, Beriith enlists into a local chapter of road guardsmen. While this sounds boring to the uninitiated, road guards are in charge of making sure the roads are safe to travel on... so they mostly fight and hunt monsters that get too close to roads or towns. His parents are sad to see him leave his hometown, and while he occasionally writes to them, he becomes distant from his parents almost by accident.
As a teenager Beriith hits a growth spurt before filling in, as some teenagers do, and there are awkward few summers where he is almost a full head taller than most other people he knows, while still a gangly teenager. I'll also take him until young adulthood, until his horns are fully grown. During this stage he hasn't fully internalized the size of his horns either, and awkwardly knocking into things with his horns is a sad but funny reality.
YOUNG ADULT: Beriith's young adulthood is good. He makes through the ranks fast, and is a reliable, loyal worker who is willing to push himself and also inspire others around him to try their best as well. He is skilled on the field, able to make split-second decisions on the fly, he is strong and dangerous. He is still serious and has a dry and sarcastic sense of humor, but during this time he has close friends and is generally well-liked by his peers. He starts a serious relationship with a woman named Paimona, who matches his energy well, and people around them think they will get married in the future and start a family. He continues to be distant from his parents (who have taken an apprentice) but he occasionally visits and writes to them still.
But things don't stay good forever. Gradually, as Beriith becomes older, he starts to take his work too seriously. He takes on more responsibilities; he's on the field as often as he can, and when he isn't, he does paperwork and administrative work. Or he's training. Or planning. Eventually, his friends get tired of being rejected, and largely leave Beriith to his own devices. His relationship with Pima suffers as well, and eventually Beriith breaks off their relationship over conflicting interests -- she wants a family and children, he wants to work and no children.
Having distanced most of his friends, Beriith focuses solely on work. He might've been heading towards a burnout, and perhaps his life would've turned around if he truly had experienced and gotten over it; maybe he would've healed and learned the importance of having friends and family around him. This never happens. Because a civil war breaks out, derailing everything.
ADULT: The monarchist faction of the Goet wants to reinstate the royal line that was dethroned several generations ago. This sparks a bloody civil war between the monarchists and people's union (an anti-monarchist faction who do not want to return to the days of royalty ruling over) that will take somewhat long time to resolve. Beriith serves on the people's union's side -- most of his peers share his values, and fight on the same side. But some do become monarchists, and Beriith must fight - and kill - several of them during the war.
The war keeps Beriith busy. It's not non-stop action, there are times when the civil war goes somewhat cold, or at least cooler, and there are moments of normalcy even during it. Beriith starts another serious relationship, with a woman named Vapula, who is a soldier like he is. She gets killed in combat later in the war, after making a rash decision, and Beriith develops horrible guilt over her death. Eventually, the people's union's forces the monarchist faction to back down. The monarchist's leadership is forced into exile, and a painful and slow rebuilding of the country begins. Beriith hopes to return to his pre-war work, but for a while he works as a manual laborer, helping to rebuild infrastructure.
At some point, he visits his parents, their hometown having survived the war relatively untouched. At this point they've basically adopted the apprentice they took, and he is more like the is the son they wanted, rather than Beriith, the son they had, but never really understood. The meeting is awkward. His parents have planned to give their business to their apprentice, and Beriith feels more like an outsider than anything. Beriith leaves feeling awkward, and while he doesn't know it, this is the last time he'll ever see or talk to his parents.
Beriith never gets to properly get back to his work, because not too soon after the civil war ends, the neighboring nation of the pseudomonarchia invade.
OLDER ADULT: The Pseudomonarchia invasion is worse than the civil war was. The exiled monarchist leadership collaborates with the invading force, giving them access to some intel and insider information. The Goet forces are scattered and unprepared, still recovering from the civil war. The Pseudomonarchia take over lands, but are willing to let the Goet stay, if they agree to become underclass. Some stay, but most choose to fight back and, eventually as the war becomes hopeless, flee. Beriith works in more organized military efforts, but also occasionally splinters off to work alone, utilizing his experience with the terrain and nature to guide refugee groups.
At some point during the war, Beriith is taken to a POW camp (pictured) where he spends about six months until a revolt lets him and several others escape. The camp isn't the worst it could be, but there is forced labor (it's re-education through labor kind of a camp) and while they actually get fed, it's not enough to let Beriith keep his bulk, so he actually loses muscle mass during this time, and this is pretty much the low point of his life.  Even after escaping, he is particularly unhinged, and spends the tail end of the war being dangerous, unpredictable and on so many uppers to keep himself upright.
Eventually, the Pseudomonarchia take over most of the Goet lands. The survivors either move to refugee settlements in nearby friendly areas, or are pushed to small territories unclaimed by the Pseudomonarchia. Most people alive during this time have lost friends and family, and there is currently little hope of any attempts at reclaiming land. The survivors start building new communities in areas they have settled in.
CURRENT: Beriith as he is in "current" time. After the war ended (though there are still occasional conflicts around the "new" border, so ended is perhaps a wrong word), Beriith lives in a community near the Northern Gnomish border. He has a house there but spends little time there. Suffering from an intense survivor's guilt he finds it hard to stay with his kin, and so he decides to become a traveling swordsman, working mainly as a bodyguard around the [name pending, but basically fantasy europe]. He has undiagnosed PTSD from his experiences, and he manages however he can (often not well).
Then, suddenly, one time when he is actually visiting his own home, he gets magically whisked away by a summoning ritual gone wrong and finds himself bound to the service of a certain mage...
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the-whatcherof-89 · 2 years
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Connoreatspants AKA the pants eating Blue Blur.
CR 16 CN Humanoid XP 76,800 (if used as npc for encounter) Chaotic Neutral Gnome Rogue 13(Charlatan) 3 Horizon walker Small humanoid, Gnome
Init +6; Senses Perception +19
AC 37, touch , flat-footed  (+7 Dex, +1 Size, +8 Armor, +3 Natural +3 Deflect +4 Buckler, +1 Insight) HP 141 (13d8+3d10+48)  Fort +14, Ref +20, Will +13
Speed 20 ft. Melee Rapier+21 1d6+3 Ranged Light crossbow+23 1d6+2.
Racial Utilitarian magic, Explorer, Darkvision, Defensive training, Illusion resistance, Sound mimicry.
Traits Businessman, Naive.
Class features Sneak attack+7d6, Natural born liar, Grand hoax, Improved evasion, Improved uncanny dodge, Rogue talents(Fast stealth, Minor magic 3/day Read magic, Major magic 2/day Reduce person, Honeyed words, Bonus feat: Craft shoddy items, Black market connections), Favored terrain(Plains, Desert), Terrain mastery(Desert), Terrain dominance(Desert).
Str 8, Dex 22, Con 16, Int 14, Wis 10, Cha 16
Base Atk +12/7/2; CMB +11; CMD +28
Feats Combat expertise, Improved feint, Weapon finesse, Weapon focus, Slashing grace, Steadfast personality, Run, Endurance.
Skills Acrobatics+19, Appraise+12, Bluff+16, Climb +11, Craft(Jewel crafting)15, Diplomacy+16, Disable device+21, Disguise+15, Escape artist+17, Handle animal+9, Knowledge (Dungeoneering)+13, (Geography)+13, (Local)+13, Perception+19, Ride+12, Sense motive+11, Sleight of hand+13, Stealth+25, Swim+10, Use magic device+14. 
Languages Common, Gnomish, Orc, Giant.
Combat gear Slippery Mithral shirt of speed+4, Ring of protection+3, Amulet of natural armor+3, Rapier+3, Ioun stone dusty rose prism, Invulnerable buckler+3, Light crossbow+3, 50+2 Bolts, Handy haversack, Ring against detection and location, Belt of incredible dexterity+4, Cloak of resistance+5, Rod of balance, Wand of gaseous form, Wand of cure moderate wounds, Rope of climbing with grappling hook, Vest of escape(Shaper like a STH onesie), Rogue kit, MWK thieves tools, 9 smoke pellets, 2 tanglefoot bags, Portable hole, Figurine of wondrous power Marble elephant, Light smuggler’s wagon(high concealment) with horses, 3000gp.
Background: Connor is a socially awkward “chill dude” that lives the life in the Land and also the ex business partner of Schlatt having done some shady business with him. Being not so above saying lies and stealing, he left unpaid debts everywhere, especially in Las Nevadas. While he is disinterested into doing things that might bother him he is still curious about the events occurring around him. Forgiving in nature he has no qualm toward anyone and no enemy except for the law since he was imprisoned within Pandora’s Vault for some “Stolen valor” using a fake ID. While in prison, he had a “friendly” moment with Ranboo and was rescued by Techno whom implemented him into the Syndicate. A few days later he built his shack in proximity of Techno’s house until he heard a sound from a cave and deep below saw a large pile of gold… He immediately jumped onto it and felt the jingle remembering the old times with Schlatt and their business games having fun and scamming others. “Your wish. I can make it real.” A voice was heard from the pile of gold. “Are you buried beneath this pile of gold? Cuz’ that is sick. In a good way.” The pile of gold churned. “Obtain that which i desire, and i will resurrect your friend.” Connor was in shock. “You joking right you little b***?! He is gone. Killed.” Connor looked at the pile of gold, his face reflecting into the surfaces. “I can bring him back. Others are already looking for him. Time is money. Now choose.” Connor thought at the one thing that had any meaning to him: His moments with Schaltt. “What do i do?” The pile opened. “Jump in.” Connor went down the rabbit hole and he popped from another pile of gold into a wagon with horses. “I will tell you soon what you must obtain. Time runs.” Connor looked around, the world was different and so he was. He grabbed the reins and steered the horses. “Let’s go you both! We have business to do!” The wagon raced along the road.
EDIT: I made him a gnome because yes he looks awesome as one. If you do not like him like this i took the liberty of also giving him his human appearance. You are welcome.
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nitiemily · 30 days
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Why Professional Embedded Software Development Services Matter
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In today's fast-paced digital world, embedded systems are the unsung heroes driving countless innovations. From your smartphone to smart home devices, embedded systems are everywhere, seamlessly integrating software with hardware to make our lives easier and more efficient. But behind every successful embedded system is a well-crafted software solution, and that's where professional embedded software development services come into play.
Understanding Embedded Software Development
Embedded software development involves creating software that is tightly integrated with specific hardware to perform dedicated functions. Unlike general-purpose software that runs on personal computers, embedded software is designed for specialized applications, often with real-time constraints and limited resources. This means that the software needs to be highly optimized and reliable, as it controls critical functions in various devices.
Why Professional Services Are Essential
Expertise and ExperienceOne of the primary reasons to invest in professional embedded software development services is the expertise that comes with it. Professionals in this field bring years of experience and specialized knowledge that can make a significant difference in the quality and efficiency of your project. They understand the nuances of embedded systems, from resource management to real-time performance, ensuring that your software runs smoothly and reliably.
Customization and OptimizationEvery embedded system has unique requirements, and a one-size-fits-all approach rarely works. Professional developers are adept at tailoring solutions to meet specific needs, optimizing performance, and ensuring compatibility with the hardware. Whether it's a complex industrial application or a consumer gadget, customized software can significantly enhance functionality and user experience.
Enhanced SecurityIn an era where cyber threats are increasingly sophisticated, security cannot be an afterthought. Embedded systems, especially those connected to the internet, are vulnerable to attacks. Professional developers follow best practices for secure coding and integrate advanced security measures to protect your system from potential breaches. This proactive approach helps safeguard sensitive data and maintain user trust.
Time and Cost EfficiencyDeveloping embedded software in-house can be time-consuming and costly, especially if your team lacks the necessary expertise. Outsourcing to professional services can streamline the development process, reduce errors, and accelerate time-to-market. This efficiency not only saves money but also allows your team to focus on core activities, driving overall productivity.
Compliance and StandardsMany industries have stringent regulations and standards that must be adhered to. Professional embedded software developers are familiar with these requirements and ensure that your software meets industry-specific standards, whether it's for medical devices, automotive systems, or consumer electronics. This compliance helps avoid legal issues and enhances the credibility of your product.
Ongoing Support and MaintenanceThe development of embedded software doesn't end with deployment. Continuous support and maintenance are crucial to address any issues that arise and to keep the software up-to-date with evolving technologies. Professional services offer ongoing support, providing updates, bug fixes, and enhancements to ensure your system remains robust and functional over time.
Choosing the Right Partner
Selecting a professional embedded software development service is a critical decision that can impact the success of your project. Here are a few tips for finding the right partner:
Look for a Proven Track Record: Choose a company with a history of successful projects and satisfied clients. Case studies and testimonials can provide insights into their capabilities and reliability.
Evaluate Technical Skills: Ensure that the developers have experience with the specific technologies and platforms relevant to your project. A diverse skill set can be beneficial for addressing various challenges.
Assess Communication and Collaboration: Effective communication is key to a successful partnership. Look for a service provider that is responsive and willing to collaborate closely with your team.
Consider Flexibility and Scalability: Your project's needs may evolve, so it's essential to choose a partner that can adapt and scale their services accordingly.
The Future of Embedded Software Development
As technology continues to advance, the role of embedded software will only grow. Innovations in areas like artificial intelligence, the Internet of Things (IoT), and automation are driving new applications and creating more complex challenges. Professional embedded software development services will play a crucial role in navigating these advancements, ensuring that systems are not only cutting-edge but also reliable and secure.
In conclusion, investing in professional embedded software development services is more than just a practical choice—it's a strategic decision that can drive the success of your technology projects. By leveraging the expertise, customization, and support offered by these services, you can ensure that your embedded systems are optimized, secure, and ready to meet the demands of the future. Whether you're developing a new product or enhancing an existing one, professional services provide the foundation for innovation and excellence in the ever-evolving world of embedded systems.
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themarketupdate · 3 months
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Fast Attack Craft Market is Booming Worldwide | Gaining Revolution In Eyes of Global Exposure
A fast attack craft is a small, fast, agile and offensive warship armed with anti-ship missiles, guns or torpedoes. These warships usually operated in close proximity to land as they lack both the seakeeping and all-round defensive capabilities to survive in blue water. It is designed as a high-speed multi-role platform able to operate in both anti-air and surface combat situations. It incorporates advanced technologies to minimize infrared, radar, magnetic and noise signatures to reduce the chances of detection and enhance the operational effectiveness of the ship.
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digitalwibe · 3 months
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South Korea Fast Attack Craft Market Report: Competitor Size, Regional Analysis, & Forecast (2024-2032)
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The South Korean Fast Attack Craft (FAC) market plays a crucial role in the nation's maritime defense strategy, focusing on agile and versatile vessels designed for littoral combat and coastal defense operations. This blog provides a comprehensive report on the South Korean FAC market from 2024 to 2032, covering competitor analysis, regional dynamics, and forecasts.
Competitor Landscape and Market Dynamics
Key players in the South Korea Fast Attack Craft Market include Hanjin Heavy Industries, Hyundai Heavy Industries, and Daewoo Shipbuilding & Marine Engineering. These companies specialize in designing and manufacturing high-speed vessels equipped with advanced weapon systems, sensor suites, and integrated command and control capabilities tailored for maritime security missions. The market dynamics are driven by South Korea's strategic defense initiatives, technological advancements in naval architecture, and geopolitical considerations in the Asia-Pacific region.
Regional Analysis and Growth Trends
South Korea's geographical location and maritime interests enhance its role in the FAC market, with regional analysis highlighting collaborations with neighboring countries and international partners. Market growth is supported by initiatives promoting defense innovation, cybersecurity enhancements, and advancements in autonomous systems for maritime operations. The forecast from 2024 to 2032 indicates significant market expansion, driven by rising demand for multi-role vessels capable of addressing diverse operational challenges in littoral environments.
Market Forecast and Strategic Insights
The forecast for the South Korean FAC market anticipates robust growth across military and law enforcement sectors. Factors such as advancements in stealth technology, unmanned systems integration, and the adoption of renewable energy solutions contribute to market expansion. Revenue projections highlight sustained growth, supported by ongoing defense procurement programs and the need for agile FAC platforms to counter emerging threats and maintain maritime superiority.
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Technological Innovations and Future Trends
Technological innovation remains pivotal in shaping the future of South Korea's FAC market. Innovations such as electric propulsion systems, adaptive mission modules, and AI-driven autonomous navigation systems enhance vessel performance and operational readiness. Future trends include the development of unmanned surface vessels, integration of network-centric warfare capabilities, and advancements in maritime cybersecurity to safeguard critical mission data and communications.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the outlook for the South Korea Fast Attack Craft market from 2024 to 2032 underscores a period of dynamic growth and technological advancement. By understanding competitor strategies, analyzing market dynamics, and forecasting trends as outlined in this blog, stakeholders can navigate the evolving landscape effectively. Continued investment in cutting-edge FAC technologies, regulatory compliance, and collaborative partnerships will be crucial in maintaining South Korea's leadership in maritime defense solutions and driving future advancements in naval capabilities.
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nmsc-market-pulse · 8 months
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Fast Attack Craft Market Size & Share | Analysis - 2030 - Fast Attack Craft (FAC) Market Trends, Opportunities & Forecast (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1418301938-fast-attack-craft-market-size-share-analysis
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selfmadebd · 10 months
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FAQ - Googenie SEO Made Magic Review 
What is SEO?
SEO stands for Search Engine Optimization. It is the process of improving the quality and quantity of website traffic to a website or a web page from search engines.
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Googenie is an all-in-one SEO suite that includes some of the best tools to help you improve your SEO and get more traffic from search engines.
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ckavya-5358 · 1 year
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techverceus · 1 year
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Unlocking Success: A Comprehensive Guide to IT Consulting Services in New York
Embarking on a journey towards success in the ever-evolving world of IT consulting can be a daunting task, especially in a bustling metropolis like New York. With countless businesses vying for a competitive edge, it's crucial to have a comprehensive guide at your disposal. That's where we come in. Our team of experts has crafted the ultimate roadmap for unlocking success in the realm of IT consulting services  New York. In this comprehensive guide, we delve into the strategies, tools, and techniques that can propel your consultancy to new heights. From understanding the local market dynamics to building a strong brand presence, we leave no stone unturned. Whether you're a seasoned professional looking to expand your services or a newcomer eager to make a mark, this guide is your one-stop destination for all things IT consulting in the Big Apple. So, get ready to navigate the city's intricate IT landscape with confidence and emerge as a true leader in the field. Let's unlock success together!
The role of IT consulting in business success
In today's digital age, technology plays a pivotal role in the success of businesses across all industries. However, with the rapid pace of technological advancements, it can be challenging for businesses to keep up with the latest trends and innovations. This is where IT consulting services come into play. IT consultants are experts in their field who provide valuable insights, advice, and support to businesses seeking to optimize their IT infrastructure and leverage technology to gain a competitive edge.
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Common challenges faced by businesses in New York
As one of the world's most vibrant business hubs, New York presents both opportunities and challenges for businesses operating in the IT consulting space. The city's fast-paced environment, competitive market, and diverse client base require IT consulting firms to be agile, adaptable, and proactive. Here are some common challenges faced by businesses in New York:
Competition: New York is home to a multitude of IT consulting firms, ranging from large multinational corporations to small boutique agencies.
Client Expectations: New York clients are known for their high expectations. They demand top-notch service, innovative solutions, and rapid response times
Talent Acquisition: New York's thriving tech ecosystem attracts top talent from around the world. However, this also means that there is intense competition for skilled IT professionals.
Regulatory Compliance: New York has stringent regulatory requirements, particularly in industries such as finance and healthcare
Cybersecurity Threats: With the increasing frequency and sophistication of cyber attacks, cybersecurity has become a top concern for businesses in New York.
Understanding the benefits of hiring IT consulting services
In today's fast-paced business landscape, hiring IT consulting services has become essential for businesses looking to stay competitive and thrive. Here are some key benefits of partnering with an IT consulting firm:
Expertise and Knowledge: IT consulting firms bring a wealth of expertise and knowledge to the table.
Cost Savings: Building an in-house IT department can be costly, especially for small and medium-sized businesses.
Focus on Core Competencies: IT consulting services allow businesses to focus on their core competencies while leaving the IT-related tasks to the experts
Risk Mitigation: IT consulting firms have a deep understanding of the risks and challenges associated with technology implementations
Access to Cutting-Edge Technologies: IT consulting firms are at the forefront of technological advancements. They have access to cutting-edge tools, software, and resources that may be cost-prohibitive for businesses to acquire on their own. Factors to consider when choosing an IT consulting company
Choosing the right IT consulting company is crucial for the success of your business. Here are some factors to consider when selecting an IT consulting firm in New York:
Experience and Expertise: Look for an IT consulting firm with a proven track record of success and extensive experience in your industry.
Reputation and References: Research the reputation of the IT consulting firm in the market. Check online reviews, ratings, and testimonials from previous clients
Industry Knowledge: Ensure that the IT consulting firm has a deep understanding of your industry and its specific challenges and requirements.
Scalability and Flexibility: Consider the scalability and flexibility of the IT consulting firm. Can they accommodate your current and future business needs? opportunities.
Communication and Collaboration: Effective communication and collaboration are key to a successful partnership with an IT consulting firm. Ensure that they have clear channels of communication, responsive support, and a collaborative approach
Cost and Value: While cost is an important consideration, it should not be the sole determining factor. Look for an IT consulting firm that offers value for money, rather than simply opting for the cheapest option..
By carefully evaluating these factors, you can select an IT consulting firm that aligns with your business goals, understands your industry, and can deliver the results you desire.
Key services offered by IT consulting firms
IT consulting firms offer a wide range of services to help businesses optimize their IT infrastructure, streamline processes, and leverage technology for growth. Here are some key services commonly provided by IT consulting firms in New York:
IT Strategy and Planning: ITconsulting services company firms can help businesses develop comprehensive IT strategies aligned with their overall business objectives.
Software Development and Integration: IT consulting firms have expertise in software development and integration. They can develop custom software solutions tailored to a business's specific needs, whether it's a customer relationship management (CRM) system, an enterprise resource planning (ERP) software, or a mobile application. They also assist in integrating existing software systems to ensure seamless data flow and enhance productivity.
Cybersecurity Services: With the increasing frequency and sophistication of cyber threats, cybersecurity has become a top priority for businesses.
Cloud Computing Solutions: Cloud computing offers numerous benefits, including cost savings, scalability, and improved collaboration. IT consulting firms assist businesses in migrating to the cloud, selecting the right cloud service provider, and optimizing cloud infrastructure and applications.
Data Analytics and Business Intelligence: Data is a valuable asset for businesses, and leveraging data analytics and business intelligence can provide valuable insights for decision-making. IT consulting firms help businesses collect, analyze, and interpret data to identify trends, patterns, and opportunities.
IT Project Management: IT consulting firms often provide project management services to ensure the successful execution of IT initiatives.
Case studies of successful IT consulting projects in New York
To gain a deeper understanding of the impact of IT consulting services in New York, let's explore some real-life case studies of successful IT consulting projects:
Case Study 1: Streamlining Operations for a Financial Services Firm
A financial services firm in New York was struggling with outdated IT systems, inefficient processes, and a lack of scalability. They engaged an IT consulting firm to streamline their operations and modernize their IT infrastructure.
The IT consulting firm conducted a thorough assessment of the firm's existing systems, identified bottlenecks and areas for improvement, and developed a comprehensive IT strategy. They recommended migrating to cloud-based solutions, implementing a new CRM system, and integrating various software systems to improve data flow and collaboration.
The firm successfully implemented the recommended changes, resulting in enhanced operational efficiency, improved customer experience, and reduced costs. The new CRM system allowed them to track customer interactions, streamline sales processes, and improve customer satisfaction. The cloud migration enabled scalability and cost savings, as the firm no longer had to maintain expensive on-premises servers. Overall, the IT consulting project transformed the firm's operations, positioning them for future growth.
Case Study 2: Strengthening Cybersecurity for a Healthcare Provider
A healthcare provider in New York recognized the need to enhance their cybersecurity measures to protect patient data and comply with industry regulations. They engaged an IT consulting firm specializing in cybersecurity to assess their existing security posture and develop a robust cybersecurity strategy.
The IT consulting firm conducted a comprehensive security audit, identifying vulnerabilities and potential risks. They implemented multi-factor authentication, encryption protocols, and intrusion detection systems to strengthen the organization's defenses. They also provided employee training on cybersecurity best practices and developed an incident response plan to handle potential breaches.
As a result of the IT consulting project, the healthcare provider significantly improved their cybersecurity posture, ensuring the confidentiality, integrity, and availability of patient data. They achieved compliance with industry regulations and gained the trust of their patients, positioning themselves as a leader in data security within the healthcare industry.
These case studies highlight the transformative impact of It Consulting And Services Companies in New York. By partnering with experienced IT consultants, businesses can overcome challenges, optimize their operations, and achieve their business objectives.
How to effectively manage IT consulting projects
Effectively managing IT consulting projects is crucial for ensuring their success. Here are some key considerations for managing IT consulting projects:
Clearly Define Project Objectives: Clearly define the objectives, scope, and deliverables of the IT consulting project
Establish Communication Channels: Establish clear communication channels between the business and the IT consulting firm. Regularly communicate project updates, challenges, and milestones.
Collaborate and Share Information: Foster collaboration between the business and the IT consulting firm. Share relevant information, data, and insights to facilitate the project's success.
Set Realistic Timelines and Milestones: Set realistic timelines and milestones for the project. Break the project down into smaller, manageable tasks, and establish deadlines for each phase.
Monitor and Manage Risks: Identify potential risks and develop risk mitigation strategies. Regularly monitor and manage risks throughout the project lifecycle.
Evaluate and Measure Success: Continuously evaluate and measure the success of the IT consulting project. Define key performance indicators
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vyzioninnovations · 1 year
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Modern IT Solutions Company: Innovating the Digital Landscape
In today's fast-paced and technologically driven world, businesses rely heavily on cutting-edge IT solutions to stay competitive and drive growth. As technology continues to evolve, the demand for proficient IT service providers has surged. Enter the Modern IT Solutions Company, an innovative force transforming businesses with their expertise, adaptability, and forward-thinking approach. This article explores the core attributes and services of a Modern IT Solutions Company, shedding light on how they are reshaping the digital landscape.
Harnessing Technological Advancements:
A hallmark of a Modern IT Solutions Company is its ability to harness the latest technological advancements effectively. From cloud computing and artificial intelligence to blockchain and the Internet of Things (IoT), these companies are at the forefront of implementing transformative technologies. By staying ahead of the curve, they empower businesses to leverage these innovations to streamline operations, optimize efficiency, and enhance customer experiences.
Comprehensive IT Services:
A Modern IT Solutions Company offers a comprehensive range of services tailored to meet the diverse needs of businesses across industries. These services include:
IT Consultation: Understanding the unique requirements of each client, these companies provide expert advice and strategic guidance to align IT strategies with business objectives.
Software Development: Crafting bespoke software solutions, including web and mobile applications, that cater to specific business needs while ensuring scalability and security.
Cloud Solutions: Facilitating the migration to cloud-based platforms, enabling businesses to access data and applications seamlessly, while reducing infrastructure costs.
Cybersecurity: Implementing robust security measures to safeguard against potential threats and cyber-attacks, ensuring data integrity and customer trust.
Data Analytics: Leveraging big data and analytics to derive valuable insights, enabling data-driven decision-making and predictive analysis.
Digital Transformation: Assisting businesses in embracing digital transformation, making them more agile and customer-centric.
Customization and Flexibility
Modern IT Solutions Companies understand that every business has unique requirements and challenges. They excel in offering tailor-made solutions that cater specifically to each client's needs. These companies recognize that a one-size-fits-all approach is no longer viable in the rapidly evolving tech landscape. Instead, they prioritize customization and flexibility to accommodate dynamic business demands.
Client-Centric Approach:
Customer satisfaction is the cornerstone of any successful business, and Modern IT Solutions Companies fully grasp this philosophy. These companies adopt a client-centric approach, where they actively engage with their customers throughout the development process. By maintaining open lines of communication and incorporating feedback, they ensure that the final solutions align precisely with the client's vision and objectives.
Agility and Scalability:
Modern IT Solutions Companies operate in an ever-changing business environment, where adaptability is key to survival. They are highly agile, responding promptly to market trends and technological advancements. Moreover, their solutions are designed with scalability in mind, allowing businesses to grow without any hindrance from their IT infrastructure.
Embracing Sustainability:
Beyond merely providing services, a Modern IT Solutions Company recognizes its role in fostering sustainable practices. They encourage eco-friendly technologies and promote energy-efficient solutions that help businesses reduce their carbon footprint. By incorporating sustainability into their services, they play a vital role in the global effort to combat climate change.
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ccider · 4 years
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and the dust settles
to guizhong, glaze lilies are beautiful. much more than other flowers, and much more than anything she could ever imagine. it is a fact that only zhongli and now xiao know. some may see it as a vanity, and in a way, it is. but to guizhong it is more - to guizhong, it is a promise. to herself, to zhongli, and to xiao.
see, the thing is, godhood comes with prices, and guizhong has to play. her power wanes as the days go by, and she holds up her swords and it feels wrong. less and less pray to her, and guizhong grows paler. her hair falls out in clumps - zhongli and xiao say it is because of stress. all three of them know that is not true. the glaze lilies do not shine as brightly when she sings - something zhongli says is because of her sore throat, as xiao nods in the back.
none of them are ready to accept losing each other. guizhong is not ready to lose.
-
i. guizhong
guizhong is born in a field of glaze lilies. call it an affinity, if you will, but glaze lilies have followed her ever since. (and with it comes zhongli.)
zhongli brings home a child one day - not any other ordinary one, rather a small child, the size of a newborn fawn, with eyes that blaze brighter than any other sun she’s ever seen. he stares at her, not in wonder, but rather contempt. guizhong knows better than to be scared - she has defeated monsters thousands of times bigger than him. and yet, she is not scared of the tiny devil - she is scared at how he looks at her, eyes void of any emotion. he introduces himself as alatus, pain seeping through the way he utters the name, as if it is cursed.
his name is xiao, zhongli decides, after she sees him fend of hilichurls that attack the nearby field of glaze lillies. he’s fast and his eyes glow with the fervor of battle when he fights. she’s almost sure there’s another meaning to the name - perhaps it’s a story she’ll learn one day. (it’s one of the only time she actually sees him smile.)
life with xiao and zhongli is, in a way, domestic. not as if the war doesn’t rage on everyday just outside her door, but rather in the way she knows exactly what tea xiao prefers, and how zhongli makes her dinner after she comes back home from the village. (he is a good cook, for all his faults. she is rather fond of his bamboo shoot soup - as simple as it may be, it reminds her, in an arbitrary way, of when things were easier. it reminds her of home.) her favorite part of the day is when she is in her workshop, as xiao sits in the corner, big eyes staring as she works on his spear. it has been years since she has gone to battle, but the weight of the spear is familiar in her hand.
guizhong is a soldier. she is known for her conquests upon man, and the fear of guizhong and her two swords is well known - however, for all she has battled, the battlefield is the last place she wants to be. it’s not the blood that scares her - it’s how inhumane she seems. guizhong lusts after blood on the battlefield - it is not a feeling she likes. and yet, as the spear sits in her mind, she remembers the thrill of plunging her swords into humans, watching them cry out. she is brutal, she knows. a monster some may call her - for all of zhongli’s fault, he is not bloodthirsty.
it has become almost instinctual to comb through zhongli’s knotted hair with her hand - it gets longer, and longer, and he looks beautiful. she crafts a comb for him, with the best materials she has. guizhong thinks it will go well with his hair, as the gold ends grow longer and longer.
-
xiao loves flowers. guizhong cannot recall how many flower crowns he has made for her, eyes twinkling with something akin to mirth and he gets on the tips of his toes to rest it on her head. it is rather out of character for him - some days, xiao doesn’t even look at guizhong. she understands. some days she can’t look in the mirror, when her skin seems a shade to red when she wakes up.
the smell of the freshly cooked almond tofu only seems more enticing with the happy atmosphere, the jellied, sugary dessert making them all salivate. xiao in particular seems to enjoy it the most - taking quick bites out of it when he thinks zhongli and guizhong are not watching, and simply enjoying the taste.
it’s moments like this that guizhong truly appreciates, as she watches xiao become more comfortable eating and relaxing, albeit not under the eyes of zhongli. the boy acts as if he has to prove himself to zhongli - and yet, she understands, as he tries to make zhongli his special bamboo shoot soup, seeing it as a way to prove himself. he burns himself on the fire as tries to use his wind to make the fire grow quicker so the soup will be ready by the time zhongli is home from the market. the gasp of pain makes guizhong’s eyes shoot open from the slightly asleep trance she had been in
xiao looks to her, guilt-ridden as the soup on the floor. he seems to be looking for a punishment - she curses his old master, and assures him it’s ok. the fire starts up again, and together, they make dinner. she doesn’t make comments on the way xiao flinches when she raises her knife to cut the food, just as he doesn’t make one when she tenses up every time someone touches her.
guizhong’s love, zhongli proclaims one day, is enough to cure any man’s disease. he says this while looking at her, his face smiling, but his eyes - his eyes are so beautiful. xiao quirks a semblance of a smile (or maybe it is a smirk. guizhong cannot tell with her failing eyes after too many days spent in the workshop with no light.) he nods his head, slightly, in a way of understanding what zhongli has said.
she smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
-
xiao has lived with guizhong and zhongli for a few months now. today, they are going to town. xiao clings to guizhong - in a way, she feels like his mother. he’s not very socially active, and yet, guizhong worries for him everytime she seems him staring in the mirror with the same look in his eyes that she gets when she remembers the feeling of slicing through skin.
it is not to say guizhong isn’t kindhearted - for all her faults, she is still a benevolent goddess. she sings to the glaze lilies so the children can pick them and put them in their hair, childish smiles lighting up their tiny faces. she tends to the crops for the older villagers who cannot work as much as they were able to years ago. guizhong is benevolent. but guizhong is bloodthirsty on her worst days.
xiao tends to understand this more than zhongli - zhongli is kind outside and inside. she knows how much it hurts for him to even think of harming another living being, even less one who can think, breathe, and live. he’s vegetarian - so are xiao and guizhong, but only in a way to pay him back. xiao, xiao however, he understands.
xiao’s green hair is seen as interesting by the village’s children - they come up to him, shouting “mister, mister, can we see your hair?”, and guizhong sees the upward quirk of his lips, however subtle it maybe. guizhong notices his hair is getting a bit long too - it is his choice if he decides to let it grow, but she thinks she prefers it longer.
“under the name alatus”, he admits to her one day, “i have murdered many. the feeling of disgust never goes away. so doesn’t the thrill.” she smiles slightly, and takes her to the docks to show him the patch of glaze lilies that grow near there. he picks them up, and he weaves a flower crown with his deft hands. (if guizhong is being honest, the crown is so xiao, rough edges, but crafted to be perfect. sensitive to the touch, but enduring while she wears it in her hair.) she has grown rather fond of him.
-
to guizhong, glaze lilies are beautiful. much more than other flowers, and much more than anything she could ever imagine. it is a fact that only zhongli and now xiao know. some may see it as a vanity, and in a way, it is. but to guizhong it is more - to guizhong, it is a promise. to herself, to zhongli, and to xiao.
see, the thing is, godhood comes with prices, and guizhong has to play. her power wanes as the days go by, and she holds up her swords and it feels wrong. less and less pray to her, and guizhong grows paler. her hair falls out in clumps - zhongli and xiao say it is because of stress. all three of them know that is not true. the glaze lilies do not shine as brightly when she sings - something zhongli says is because of her sore throat, as xiao nods in the back.
none of them are ready to accept losing each other. guizhong is not ready to lose. and yet, she is, as her throat gets sore the more and more she strains it, and the children in the village play with her hair until it tears out. they watch her with morbid understanding. the children have accepted defeat - guizhong will not. (she says this as she coughs into her arms, the tiniest hint of red appearing. the children see this. she hides it in her billowing sleeves, but the damage is done.)
-
years ago, after watching havria lose her people and herself in the process, guizhong was, in a way, appalled. the death of the kind goddess and her even kinder people weighed heavy on everyone’s minds - the archon war kept taking and taking from guizhong. zhongli came home panting, covered in blood, and his mind was elsewhere. eyes glazed, zhongli would often ask only one question, lying on the bed.
“what reason do we have to live?”
-
guizhong, years later, has an answer. and yet, the answer seems at the tip of her tongue, resting while she thinks and thinks, so obvious yet so impossible. it aches in her chest when she watches xiao smile for the first time at some village boy that passes, his blonde hair weaved into a braid, when zhongli makes her bamboo shoot soup and feeds her with the spoon, holding her to his chest when she can’t eat anymore.
zhongli makes her feel so loved, so special, so amazing. a feeling she, in many ways, believes she doesn’t deserve. many times in her life guizhong looked to her right and saw her best friend, (her love), right where she needed him. and yet she cannot promise the same for him - dust is fleeting, afterall, spreading and destroying.
guizhong’s dust becomes black as the days go by. her crafting becomes fervent.
-
her descent into madness is slow. she spends less time with the children and xiao, and more time in her studio, crafting what will be her last impacts on this world.
she wakes up one day and comes to the revelation that her hands are shaking every time she holds them up to her face. (she keeps working.)
-
“this,” guizhong starts one day at dinner, “this, zhongli, is a mark of our pledge.” she holds up the newest weapon she has crafted - it glistens, gold light pouring out. “everything i know - all my wisdom, is held inside this stone dumbbell. this is my challenge to you.” zhongli’s face is apprehensive - he knows better than to take guizhong’s challenges, having fell into trouble many times before - but this time, there’s something different.
she hands the dumbbell over to him.
pt. 1! cross posted on ao3 and ff.net.
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ridleyemily · 3 years
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Reasons Why You Pursue a Cybersecurity Degree
Many colleges and universities have developed fresh graduate degree programs in cybersecurity, adhering to rising knowledge and concern about the increasing cyber challenges that companies, governments, and individuals face.
Although several of these programs are still in their early stages, some have been carefully crafted with feedbacks from field experts, local and national partners, and industry opinion leaders to equip cybersecurity professionals with lifelong learning capabilities and the potential to overcome hurdles from both theoretical and operational viewpoints.
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Some Solid Reasons to Get a Master's Degree in Cyber Security
A Cybersecurity Degree Ensures Job Protection. The demand for cybersecurity specialists is surpassing the supply as cyber threats and attacks get more frequent and sophisticated. This ensures that career protection for experienced cybersecurity experts is almost assured.
Cybersecurity Professionals Make a Lot of Money.
Because of the scarcity of qualified employees, cybersecurity experts are among the highest paid in the technology industry, with a paid premium of 9% over IT employment.
The cybersecurity job market is proliferating, with high salaries and demand. However, to grab the best cybersecurity job opportunities, you must have a degree, and the higher the degree, the better is the scope.
Flexible Cybersecurity Degree Programs Are Available.
Working adults need a great deal of flexibility. For many cybersecurity experts, the ability to earn an online cybersecurity associate's degree while juggling full-time work and family responsibilities has proved to be a career game-changer.
Unique and Creative Ways to Contribute Meaningfully in Cybersecurity.
There is an increasing number of so-called bug bounty schemes in which professional white-hat hackers aim to thwart their black-hat counterparts' illicit efforts by discovering and correcting flaws in cybersecurity defense systems.
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Cybersecurity is Meaningful and Important. Cybersecurity protections are essential for businesses of all sizes to protect from hacker encroachments that can cost millions, if not billions, of dollars. However, the stakes are much higher when it comes to America's long-term protection and stability, which will ultimately depend on the ability to fight high-tech warfare conducted by sophisticated computer technologies.
Earning an online computer science masters degree isn't the end goal — you'll need to stick to a lifelong learning curve in this fast-paced industry.
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victorluvsalice · 4 years
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Hey, you know how I tried to restart Fallout 4 properly around my birthday with a new Victor save? Yeah, uh, ran into a few issues with crashes and whatnot and had to start again! Fortunately, after much fiddling and poking and whatnot, I seem to have finally gotten myself a save that’s at least somewhat stable, so this here should be my final Victor Sole Survivor to go through the game with. Allow me to go through some of the pertinent points of my playthrough with you:
Appearance: Yeah, I had to redo him again -- at least this time I’m a bit happier with the eye spacing. He’s always going to look rather weird simply because I’m trying to translate a Tim Burton character into flesh, but I think I did a pretty good job under the circumstances!
...As for his fashion sense, he found the chestpiece and whatnot in a suitcase by Sanctuary, and the hat gives him +1 Intelligence and thus is giving me a bit more experience for his early quests. He’s not here to look good, he’s here to level up.
Stats: I ended up having to tweak his SPECIAL, mostly because I forgot just how many points you get at the beginning, and because I wanted to pivot slightly with how I designed his build. Here’s what he started out with:
Strength: 3
Perception: 3
Endurance: 7
Charisma: 2
Intelligence: 7
Agility: 4
Luck: 2
He’s still a high Endurance/Intelligence build, but I’ve decided that Agility is probably going to be his third “main” stat, because perks like “Moving Target” (harder to hit when you’re sprinting) make sense for him. (I mean, dodging like crazy was how he survived so long against Barkis!) I’ve already boosted it twice -- once with the You’re SPECIAL! book that you can find in Shaun’s room, and once through a level-up. I’ve also boosted his Perception thanks to the bobblehead in the Museum of Freedom. As for perks, he’s currently level 5, so I have the following:
Scrapper Level 1 (scavenge more uncommon components from scrapping things)
Gun Nut Level 1 (basic gun mods)
Armorer Level 1 (basic armor mods)
Given Victor’s whole “thing” in this universe is that he’s something of a tinkerer and good at modding things, this felt appropriate. :p
Mods: Because it’s not recommended to play without them! Certainly not without the fixes. . . Anyway, my complete mod list as of now is below, if you’re curious. I did try to vaguely group them into “these mods are part of the same category and/or go together,” but it’s not perfect. Still, if you see anything you find interesting, feel free to go to the link and check it out!
Fallout 4 Script Extender (https://f4se.silverlock.org/): Allows for script changes, enables certain other mods and serves as my game launcher through Vortex
Achievements Mod Enabler (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/15639): Enables achievements in a modded game; requires manual install (extract files into Fallout 4 folder)
Mod Configuration Menu (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/21497/): Adds a menu for configuring compatible mods; uses F4SE
Unofficial Fallout 4 Patch (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/4598): General bugfixes and small improvements
Crafting Highlight Fix (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/27479): Removes the crafting “highlights” overlay so you can actually see your items while crafting; uses F4SE and requires MCM (to adjust things like how power armor pieces are highlighted)
Elevator Buttons Fix (Contraptions) (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/20664): Fixes floating elevator buttons from Contraptions (buttons can appear miles from the actual control panel)
Rusty Face Fix (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/31028): Fixes the rusty face glitch that may occur with the PC and NPCs (turning faces brown)
Nuka-World Bottle Scenery Fix (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/17853): Fixes the giant bottles that can sometimes spawn in Nuka World instead of the regular-sized models, completely obscuring the game world
No Aggro Impact Landing (Power Armor) (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/9019): Stops friendly characters getting aggroed if you jump from a great height and land near them in Power Armor
Vault 81 Molerat Disease Immunity with Power Armor and Hazmat (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/5646): Stops you getting infected with the Molerat Disease if you're wearing full power armor (chance of infection goes up with each missing piece of armor), or if your companion gets bit; lesser chance of infection if you're wearing a hazmat suit
CryoFreez Fix (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/10000): Fixes the bug where, if an enemy dies as a result of the Cryolater or other cryo-based weapons, they will respawn in a weird “dead” state with no AI
Cattle Feeders Immersively Filled (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/11998): Two files; first adds a filled water trough for brahmin to use, second fills the vanilla feed trough with plants
Worthwhile Caps Stashes (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/23464): Increases the amount of caps in stash and have them contain other junk items; also makes the stash tin itself a junk item
Piper Interview Restored (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/21829): Restores some cut questions post Piper’s interview about your pre-war life
Dumpster Diving (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/33474): Adds new containers to open dumpsters with new and amusing junk to collect
More Grind-Free Game Settings (from Thuggyfied – A Fallout 4 Mod List) (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/41435): Removes the need to get “Local Leader” Rank 2 to make crafting benches; quest markers display from five times further away; followers no longer auto-attack non-hostile Radstags; settlers run to the summoning bell; Jet doesn’t show up in pre-War coolers and containers (just Vault 95); pipe weapons no longer show up in Pre-War safes or trunks; ability to craft a “Jetpack Ring” at the chem station (I mainly got this for the first two items)
Useful Pulse and Cryo Explosives 1.1b (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/24848): Tweaks the cryo grenade’s damage output and fixes the “dead enemy AI respawn bug” for cryo grenades; tweaks how the pulse grenade works, making it affect robots and turrets more strongly and removing damage to organic enemies (though the explosion can still stagger them); also changes the crafting recipes
Wasteland Survival Guide 5 - More Map Markers (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/26367): Changes Wasteland Survival Guide #5 (available in Gorski Cabin) to mark not only Diamond City, but also Goodneighbor, the Glowing Sea, Boston Airport, and Quincy
Strong Back Improved – Weightless Equipped Apparel (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/17361): Improves the “Strong Back” perk to first halve the weight of worn apparel, then make it entirely weightless, and give more carry capacity out of Power Armor
Diamond City Plus (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/19293): Updates Diamond City with new shacks and interiors to the lower stands (including an arcade and a laundry!), along with new NPCs to populate them; also adds a proper farm with brahmin and chickens by the mutfuit plants
Commonwealth Wilderness Overhaul (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/41008): Adds lots of little scenes, objects, and creatures (including rad rabbits, rad chickens, and wolves) to the Commonwealth Wilderness to fill it out and make it more interesting
Nuka World Open Season Extend II -- Assignable Factions - Recruitable NPCs (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/47209): Allows you, post- the “Open Season” quest, to attract settlers to Nuka-World who can then be sent to regular settlements, and populate the parks and main market area with more traders, or various faction NPCs! (So if you really want the Minutemen to hold Nuka World after you gun everybody down, you can use this – though if you want them to come and HELP you gun everybody down, you need a different mod)
Flashy(JoeR) - Advanced Needs 2 - Customizable Survival Mode (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/40440): A customizable “survival mode” that allows you to play with a character who needs to eat, drink, and sleep periodically without necessarily dealing with some of Survival Mode’s other stuff (namely, the lack of fast travel in my case). Comes with expansions for being a playable ghoul, food spoilage, and other activities if you’re into that, and a patch for “Campsite – Simple Wasteland Camping” so you can use the two together.
Sunshine Tidings – No Ghoul and No Corpse (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/47044): Will eventually remove ghoul and human corpses from Sunshine; assigns Professor Goodfeels protected status if he hasn't already been disabled
Croup Manor Waterfront Extended (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/47144): Adds another chunk to Croup Manor's building area so you can actually access the water on the nearby beach for purifiers and whatnot
CWSS Redux V4 – Craftable Working Showers Sinks Baths Toilets Urinals Kitchens Etc (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/14326): Adds craftable, usable bathroom equipment and some kitchen equipment in a separate workshop menu so the Sole Survivor, companions, and settlers can go to the toilet, shower, and have pretty kitchens
Vault-Tec Workshop Overhaul Redux (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/43643): Fixes some errors with the Vault-Tec DLC items for Vault 88 and adds newer, better versions for some other items (e.g., better lights, in three variations depending on computer specs)
Wearable Backpacks and Pouches (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/3258): Adds a backpack workbench and a variety of upgradable backpacks to the game (three files – standard, ballistic weave addon, power armor capacity addon)
Campsite – Simple Wasteland Camping (and HD Sleeping Bags) (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/11734): Adds a book to Sanctuary (the root cellar) that allows you to make camping gear at the chem station and set up camp in the Commonwealth whenever you want
The Mobile Mechanic – Portable Workbenches and Junk Scrapping (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/18262/): Allows you to make a portable, customizable workbench for scrapping junk and in-game crafting anywhere
Atelier – Paint and sculpt (Unsupported) (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/36485): Allows you to make and mix paint, paint pictures (for the "Well Rested" XP bonus), and work on a sculpture; also has settler-ready versions to increase happiness in settlements. Unsupported and glitchy ("Well Rested" perk sound will play incessantly if you try to paint, with the animation popping up when you disengage from the easel – keeping this mainly for the look of the thing for Victor’s house)
Fallout Instrument Pack (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/46604): Adds four playable instruments to the game, along with a small (and unfortunately bit glitchy) quest to unlock the ability to craft them; also has two new instrument-themed weapons
New Recipes (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/12276): 60-ish new recipes added into the standard categories, with unique effects and healing (like new teas under Beverages)
Fine Dining (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/33128): Adds a “Fine Dining” section to the cooking menu with six new recipes, with strong effects that require a (reusable) steel plate as well as the food; also adds milk and cheese as items to be found in the world
Culinary Masterpieces – Useful Food (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/16055): Adds a “Culinary Masterpieces” section to the cooking menu with new recipes, and the ability to plant tarberries, hubflower, bloodleaf, and rice (after buying it from the Abernathys)
Apple Trees 3.2 (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/40388): Adds an apple and pear orchard to the game near Vault 111, and a “Fruit Recipes” section to the cooking menu for apple and pear-based food; also you can grow apples and pears for food in settlements
Tales From The Commonwealth (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/8704): Extended quests and companions mod – features new characters, new locations, and new quests across the Commonwealth, along with three new companions (contains additional file for DLC commentary from the new companions)
Tales From The Commonwealth Visual Fixes (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/43974): Patch to fix some of the broken precombines and visual bugs from TFTC
Tales From The Commonwealth – FaceGen Data (For PhysOp or Vanilla) (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/45148): Patch to help provide face generation data for TFTC; vanilla file used
We Are The Minutemen (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/6443): Overhauls the Minutemen, giving Preston a new outfit, making patrols more common and more powerful as you level up, giving you a command table to make Minutemen, and cools down the frequency of radiant quests
Better Companions – No Conflicts (Accuracy Version) (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/24233): Improves companions – in particular, making them more accurate and better at sneaking
Settler and Companion Dialogue Overhaul (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/41785): Increases the variety of companion lines while adventuring; gives certain companions their own radiant quests; gives settlers more variety in what they say to you while visiting settlements (acknowledging you as Minutemen General, complaining less)
Realistic Conversations Fallout 4 (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/32514): Makes conversations between NPCs more realistic, adds variety
Settlers Of The Commonwealth (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/8704): Adds unique new settlers to the Commonwealth that you can recruit
Level 4 Merchants Improved (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/40747): Puts all the level 4 merchants you can find and recruit in the Dugout Inn for easier location; also assigns protected status to certain ones that might otherwise easily die (like the Vault-Tec Rep)
Squirrels of the Commonwealth (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/20027): Adds a variety of (surprisingly tough) squirrels; using the “docile” version that adds Garbage Squirrels but makes most squirrels run away if you shoot them
True Storms – Wasteland Edition (Thunder-Rain-Weather Redone) (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/4472): Improved weather, with more intense thunderstorms and whatnot; also has files for earlier sunsets, compatibility with Far Harbor and Nuka World, and (if you want, I didn’t) more dangerous Far Harbor fogs and Glowing Sea
Atomic Radio (https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/8704): New radio station with original radio shows and commercials
Where I Am In The Game: Given Victor’s only level five, you’ve probably guessed I’ve only just started -- and you’d be right! Victor’s about five days into his adventures in the Commonwealth, and has spent that time mainly cleaning up Sanctuary and the Red Rocket, meeting Dogmeat and Preston, killing raiders, and molotoving and machine-gunning a Deathclaw to death. I’ve completed Out of Time and When Freedom Calls for quests, and I’m currently working on Sanctuary before moving onto The First Step. Next playsession, Victor and Codsworth are going to go visit the apple orchard on the other side of Vault 111 and get some apples for everyone! And probably fight a bear! :D What, the gang needs food, and I want to give them more variety than gourds and melons.
What Comes Next: While I hope to actually start the main plot a lot sooner than I did in my original attempt at playing, we’re definitely doing some Minutemen stuff first, plus exploring the general area around Sanctuary so I can pick up that “double meat” magazine. Think of it as Victor getting his hand in as he tries to figure out how to survive in this brave new world.
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bluepenguinstories · 4 years
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Happiness Overload Chapter Fifty-Six
Coriander Rule #56: Never trust someone who sits on top of a pile of popsicle sticks and obsesses over art, for such people will surely monologue.
Exhibit A, and the only exhibit to date: this Dr. Popsicle Stick Lady. Or whichever of her doctor names she gave herself. Who gives a fuck, am I right?
Now, before the rule turned out to be true, my client, Velvet, was on trial for the crime of trusting someone who had way too much fun with popsicle sticks. She didn’t know she was on trial, but she totally was. We both were, but I wanted to think I was the defense attorney. Or the prosecutor.
“I’m telling you, I’m getting bad vibes,” I tried to keep my voice low as I muttered to Velvet.
“Don’t worry. If it comes down to it, you’ve got that backpack blaster and I’ve got this gun I found.”
Tch. “Found”. More like looted off an enemy guard. Not that semantics ever helped anyone.
“Why does someone like you want to help us defeat the guys that you work for?” I called out.
She bobbed her head to and fro as if she was listening to a song. In fact, she grabbed the popsicle sticks that were in her hair and started tapping them against the pillar she sat on. “Look at all the things you can do with a little bit of arts and crafts!”
“You’re not answering my question!” I snapped.
“Oh, but I am! You see, this huge corporation claims to want what’s best for humanity, but they failed to realize that without art, Earth is just ‘eh?’ But that’s just how corporations are, aren’t they? They stifle creativity and restrict art until it’s sanitized and marketable! Just like that snappy slogan I just used! If they can’t find a use for art, they find it useless. Me? I just can’t abide. I need to show everyone all the ways art is essential to humanity!”
“But aren’t you on their side?”
“I’m on the side of art, the greatest side you can be on. As long as I’m inspired, I don’t mind where that inspiration comes from! I need to be free to explore all mediums, and even discover new ones!”
...Yep. There it was. The monologue.
I tried to look around me. I couldn’t see any form of exits besides the way we came in. Figures. If there was a way for her to have gotten out, wouldn’t she already? Considering how The Flashbulb seemed to go to great lengths to hide her existence, I had to assume that she was trapped there.
Yet another ridiculous person we just had to meet. Go-fucking-figure. Really, how could this person help us, anyway?
“Velvet, let’s just turn back and find some other way around,” I nudged her. “I don’t think we’ll find anything here.”
“Really? We found a person. That’s already one thing.”
Gah. The fu...fu...fudgetrucking nerve! Did she not notice the red flags?
Or maybe she did and she’s just confident she can use the situation to her advantage. She’s probably already thought something up. That’s just like her.
“Aaaaand...DONE!” Lord Popsicle (look, it wasn’t like anyone was going to care what I called her) announced. She held up some wooden block.
“We can’t see shit, dumbass! You’re too high!”
“Astute observation!” She dropped the wooden block down. It landed without so much as a scratch. I was hesitant to approach it, as I knew I needed to be on my guard.
“I get it, I get it! I’m a scary lady you just met who recently learned how to use popsicle sticks as chop sticks! It was hard at first, but I got the hang of it! Also, that wood block is made entirely from recycled...guess!”
“How about no?” For real, not even (if I had to guess) five minutes in and I was getting real sick of the repetition. ‘Art’ this or ‘popsicle’ that. How irritating.
“I like that! Unorthodox answer! Quite artsy!”
Velvet took a few steps forward and pointed the gun upward at our supposed helper. “I’ve got this, Corey Andy.”
“I’m going to ignore that for now,” I replied.
Why does she have to come up with the most ridiculous names? There’s no way I’m going to be referred that way.
I walked over to the wood block and picked it up. Then, my hands began to shake: it was a picture of Velvet and I, which, would have been fine. I mean, the details were amazing. Our forms were near perfect. That wasn’t the problem. No, it was that the picture was of me standing on my tiptoes and kissing Velvet’s forehead. Something that happened not all that long ago.
What started as shock and possible fear turned into anger and confusion.
“How could you…”
“How could I draw so fast? Mostly a force of habit from back when I had to finish my dad’s paintings for him.”
“No!” I shouted. My hands were balled into fists, I dropped the painting on the ground. “How could you have known? Unless…”
Beside her buzzed two little flying drones which were about the size of flies.
“Oh, that’s what you mean! I used these little bugs! They’re small enough that they can fit through the cracks within walls! It’s nice for when I need inspiration!”
“Who gave you the right?!”
Velvet turned to me. “This isn’t the time to lose your cool,” she urged me. She was right, too, and by all accounts, it must have seemed like I was making a cow out of beef jerky, but I had my reasons. I didn’t know what those reasons were yet, but they were there.
It used to be my job to spy on people. This shouldn’t bother me.
“Not only can they watch people, but they can also listen in to their conversations, and let me tell you, I’m so glad that you two found a way to get in here. I was really hoping you would. I just loved both what I heard and what I saw. The motivations, the struggles. The pain and joy. It’s all so poetic! I just had to capture your likeness.”
I dropped the painting and stepped on it. “Capture that!”
Was it petty? Sure. Would it drive home how serious I was? You betcha. No more games.
“Is it smudged?” She leaned over and looked down. “I was going to say you could keep it, as a gift, but if you want to use it in that way, that’s fine too! As long as it served some kind of purpose, I’m glad! Besides, I can always make another. The important thing is, no matter how fast or slow I am with my art, I always put effort into everything I do!”
“Look, Velvet and I don’t care!”
Velvet continued to point the gun at the art nut. “I would have phrased it better, but she’s right: we’re trying to fight an impossible battle against an entity that can’t be defeated, so if you want to help us, you’ll step aside and show us where the exit is.”
Damn. I forgot how fierce she could be when she wanted to.
“Give it up, Velvet! There’s nothing she can do to help us. Keep your aim on her and let’s walk back. If she knew where an exit was, why would she be in here?”
Velvet started to walk back, still aimed at the one atop the popsicle pillar. I pressed a button on one of the straps of the backpack and the lasers set their sights on Popsicle Lady.
“If you try anything, I swear…” I stopped myself. I sounded ridiculous. So far what had she done? Spied on us and drew a picture? In other words, a little creepy, but harmless. Velvet was right: we needed to be as efficient and free of distractions as possible. Creepy or not, if that woman wasn’t going to be our enemy, there was no need to attack her.
But as I started to walk back and try to catch up with my silk spun partner, I felt the force of something hit against me and the force thrust me against a wall.
“What the –”
I tried to move my arms, but nothing would happen. For whatever reason, I was stuck.
“What a beautiful wallflower you’ve become,” mused someone from up above.
I could hardly turn my head to face her. Whatever substance had covered me must have been pretty strong.
“What did you do?!”
“Oh, that? That’s gorilla glue! And no, in case you’re wondering, it’s not made from actual gorillas! I’m as surprised as you are, I’m sure!”
“Argh!” I tried to thrash about with the same results. No movement.
“Nothing I can do to help? Isn’t that what you said?”
“Spice!” Velvet cried out.
“Since when was that my nickname?” I groaned. Oh, it didn’t matter.
“No, I will help you two out! By drawing out your potential! True, your goal is a near-impossible one, and you were right to focus on it, but you won’t get very far without some guidance! So allow to make you my muses and become wonderful works of art!”
Ladies, gentlemen, kind folks of the jury, I rest my case.
Damn it, I really thought I was onto something. Usually I could just wing it and when an opportunity arose, I’d take it. I thought that was one such opportunity, but now look at the mess we were in.
“This is all your fault!” Coriander yelled. Whether she thought that way or was just pissed at her situation was anyone’s guess, but I didn’t blame her. “We should have never trusted this art freak!”
It’s not that I trusted her, I just thought that we had caught a lucky break. But then again, maybe I really did trust that person. Maybe I had gotten so used to finding allies recently that I believed there could have been someone in that evil lair who could help us.
You’ve gotten softer, Velvet, I scolded myself. Softer, silkier, smoother. Velvety.
I knew I’d have to take a life eventually. It went without saying that being in such a place and not expecting to have to kill was absurd. As hesitant as I may have been before, I wasn’t about to let anything happen to Coriander. So I set my sights, aimed, and…
I saw myself step forward with a pistol. She pointed it right at me. In my hand wasn’t the same heavy weapon as before, but also a pistol. We both aimed at each other, and then everything went black.
Engulfed in total darkness. Or so I thought, but there was a light somewhere. Above? A dim glow? Either way, I stood, once again.
Stop it. Stop getting distracted by this. My target is the art lady. After that, I need to free Cor...Coral? Never mind. It would come to me.
I aimed the pistol, which I somehow obtained, and shot straight ahead. I was surrounded by Velvets on all side, who also took aim, and before I knew it, confetti. Wait. Confetti? Or nothing?
That’s right. It’s all an illusion. I don’t really get it, but I just have to analyze my surroundings, focus, and then the weak point should appear in my mind.
“I know what you’re doing!” I cupped my hands and called around. “But it won’t work!”
“Cut! Cut!” The voice of the art lady boomed. “End scene! Perfect!”
“What’s going on?” I yelled in response.
“You’ve been cast in the leading role of some new blockbuster movies! But who am I, you may ask? I am the great Dr. Lynch, of course, director extraordinaire!”
I groaned. “I don’t care what you call yourself! I just want to get a move on!”
“So you’re the type of actor who gives every performance your all? Excellent! Next scene!”
I don’t think so.
I ran forward, sure that if I just broke through I would be free of the illusion, and then I could break Coriander free and together we would –
Bright, orange glow. Beat up cars. Explosions in the distance.
“Fine. I’ll bite. What kind of movie is this, anyway?”
I wasn’t sure if she’d answer, but to my surprise, she did.
“It’s an art film! Of course, all films are art, because good or bad, corporate or independent, they all have effort put into them. But, is effort the only thing that goes into art?”
I wasn’t about to answer that. I decided to wander around the city landscape a bit. Even if it was some green screen, illusion, ‘movie magic’, whatever, I didn’t see myself making much progress until I could figure out a way to exploit the situation.
Maybe I should think like a hacker, like the good old days. Only this ‘movie set’ is the software, and I’m the infection.
I went around and kicked some rubble. These “streets” were already on fire, destroyed by some unknown force that I didn’t care to know.
Off in the distance, I could see a group of people in what appeared to be superhero costumes. Jeez, what a bunch of dorks.
“Dr. Banter, I’m going to need you to get irritable!”
“That’s my secret, Admiral: I hate it when you leave the toilet seat up. I hate it when you don’t wash your hands after you use the bathroom and then wipe your dirty hands on the shower curtains. I hate when you put used paper towels in the recycling! I hate when you leave your shoes around everywhere! And when you snore!”
“Yes! More! We need you to turn into Bunk and smush Lowkey!”
I grimaced. While I didn’t know what was being referenced, it was clear this ‘movie’ was parodying something. Regardless, I wasn’t having any part of it. I picked up a brick and threw it at the group.
“Hey assholes! How do I ditch this popsicle stand?”
Everyone turned to me and looked stunned.
“It’s Black Velvet!” Admiral (I guess was his name?) pointed at me. “The secret agent who works for Condom! Why is she attacking us?!”
Condom? Really? Couldn’t they have picked a better name?
“Maybe she’s being mind controlled by Lowkey!” Someone covered in tinfoil suggested.
“You’re right, aluminum foil man! Or maybe Condom is really a front for the evil organization, Gorgon!” Some guy who looked just like a thumb suggested. Everyone looked at him in disgust. Honestly, I was too. I mean, he looked like a thumb.
“You may be the god of fungus, mighty Thumb, but you are not very bright,” Admiral replied. “Besides, that’s spoilers for the next movie! Dude, you’re not supposed to give that away.”
Are they...breaking character?!
I shook my head. It was best not to get sucked into the nonsense. What was that old saying? ‘Exit stage left’? Very well. I turned to my left and began to run.
“Smart thinking! You need to find a way to escape, don’t you?” Came the voice of ‘Dr. Lynch.’
“Gee, I didn’t know this was the director’s commentary track!” I retorted as I ran through a torn down building.
I know this isn’t real, but I don’t know how else to explain this.
“How are you doing this?”
“Should you really be asking that? That’s like asking a director ‘what’s my motivation?’ There are some things you should just know!” Her voice boomed.
She’s right. Somewhat, anyway. I didn’t know how she was doing these tricks, but I knew what my motivation was, and that was good enough.
“Mark my words, I’ll find an opening, exploit it, and break free! Then I’ll break Coriander free!”
“That’s what I like to hear! You might want to hurry, though! I hear poly...urine? Poly...uranium? Um. It’s a hard word to say, but I hear it’s quite toxic! Plus, as we speak, popsicle sticks are being dumped on her, so if you don’t hurry, she’ll suffocate to death!”
I’ll burn this whole set down if I have to. I’ll reduce every piece of “art” that she has to ash. So what if it’s true that most people don’t even “save” one person in their lifetime? As long as both Spice Bae and I are still alive, I’ll fight time and again to keep it that way.
Heh. I needed to be careful with my line of thinking; I didn’t want to be mistaken for an actual hero.
There were worse ways to die and I would have rather chosen any one of them over what was being done to me.
“So that’s just it, huh? You’re planning on confining me here until I die?!” I shouted.
“Hm? Hm?” It was like she was humming a tune. How irritating. “Oh, you can call me Dr. Bob Ross!”
“I’d rather not.”
“Very well! And to answer your question, no, I’m not just confining you. I’m confining both of you! As we speak, your little gal pal is in that little box and hallucinating up a few good movies for her to star in. I can’t wait to find out what movies she was in after she’s all done! But, if she spends too long in there, her mind will erode and wear itself out. That is, unless she finds the willpower to break free. But even if she does, that box is pretty sturdy!”
So basically I have to break myself free and break her out. Or she has to break herself free and break me out
“You two are stronger together, right? And I’m willing to bet you and her are pretty strong individually, as well. So this shouldn’t be too much of a problem, right?”
That’s right. Velvet thrives on life or death situations. As for me…
“If I could just reach the buttons on my backpack…” I muttered.
“Velvet was what you called her, right? Well then! She will become Velvet, the movie star! And you...I haven’t decided yet. But I’ll make you my muse yet. Maybe I’ll make a sculpture out of you…”
That wasn’t going to happen. No sculptures. No human arts and crafts projects. None of it.
Up another torn down building I went until I reached a floor where there were no walls and I could see the sky outstretched.
Where is there to go from here?
“If it’s all an illusion, then there isn’t very far that I can go. Theoretically,” I let out a deep breath. How hopeless. I didn’t know how to go ‘off-screen’.
“There’s no escape! I will rule all of Nude Pork City and there’s nothing you can do!” Cackled a snobby British voice.
“The...fuck city?” I jolted. Startled, I turned around and saw a skinny man in a green leotard with a horse mask on. He cackled once more.
“This movie is PG-13! You can say ‘fuck’, but only once!”
“Dude, you just said it again.”
“Fuck!” He cried out, as if he had already been defeated. The most surprising thing of the whole ordeal was that I could actually hear what he said from underneath that horse mask. “No matter! No one can defeat me, for I am Lowkey, the villain!”
I looked up. Could I find my way out by running to the highest point of the building and jumping out? But then that might just kill me. Ugh. It would really help if I had a laptop next to me right now.
“Hey! Why aren’t you paying attention to me! I am Lowkey!”
“Sorry, this just isn’t my kind of movie,” I explained.
“Heh. Heh! HEH!” He cackled once again, then pulled the horse mask off. Underneath, was an emaciated face which sported greasy black hair. Even if I swung that way, I didn’t think I’d find him all that attractive.
From his suit, he pulled out three little grenades. “You talk a big game, but you’re still human!”
“Still not my type!” I called back, then rolled over behind a pillar. He tossed the grenades my way. I thought I was a safe enough distance, but they detonated, and the explosion sent me back to the further end of the building. Not only that, but the explosion was causing the building to collapse.
I struggled to stand back up. I had to hold onto the very pillars that were crumbling.
I need to run. I need to run and tackle that guy and then get out of here.
From behind me, that same snobbish voice: “Hey cupcake!”
“What...did you call me?” I growled.
“Hey cupcake, why don’t you and I go back to my place later?” He mocked. “Velvet? Like a cupcake? Are you sweet like one too? Do you taste good like one? Hm, cupcake?”
How did that Dr. Lynch woman know that about my past? Did she really know that much about me? Just how did this movie operate?
“Shut up!” I leaped and grabbed onto his leotard, then reached into his pocket and grabbed one of his grenades. “You want to taste something? Taste this!” I shoved it in his mouth, then pulled the pin and let go.
There was little time: I needed to run down the collapsing building before it could come crashing down and reduce everything to rubble.
But isn’t that what I want? To bring it all down? To destroy the “art” that would hurt the ones I care about? Why does this building feel real, anyway? Did she create this elaborate of a set? If it’s not real, then what danger am I in? If I’m in no danger, I shouldn’t be worried about anything…
I stopped.
“Where...where did the gun go?” The one that was taken off of the guard. I had it. Then it was replaced by a pistol. Somehow.
Because it wasn’t real.
When I got to that “movie”, I had nothing. I had to use a brick. I had to use that villain’s grenades. Grenades that weren’t real.
So in other words, I have nothing. But wasn’t that par for the course? I came to The Flashbulb’s lair with nothing. I’ve had all sorts of risky endeavors, and each time, I would just acquire things as I go.
I ran anyway. For whatever reason, I ran.
No. I don’t have nothing. There’s someone I came with that I care about.
On cue, just as it came crashing down, I escaped. Not even a second after, credits started to roll.
...Wait, what?
‘The End’
Then, the list of the actors who played the characters showed up in front of me. I just couldn’t believe the whole environment was covered by text. Names I didn’t recognize to characters that didn’t matter. Then, I saw my own name. Or...my character’s name? Next to it, it listed…
“No...it can’t be…” I gulped. “Scarlett Johansson?! Really? Come on! I have more class than that!”
Then, answering my call, Scarlett Johansson’s name was crossed out, and a new name replaced it.
“ZENDAYA?!”
I shook my head. “Just stop it! Why can’t I be me?”
Thus, Zendaya’s name was crossed out as well, and finally it said:
‘Velvet as HERSELF’
I nodded my head. “Much better.”
“Stay tuned for a post-credit scene!” Boomed Dr. Lynch’s voice.
Right. There was still that matter.
“Not happening!” I shouted, then ran toward the front where the credits were and kicked forward. As I did so, I hit a wall.
Literally.
Everything turned to black. But my eyes opened once more.
There was gas all around me. I began coughing uncontrollably and it ached just to stand. I didn’t understand why, but I did my best to break free, anyway. I banged my fists against the walls.
Pounding of fists.
It seemed like I was going to lose consciousness up until that jolted me back awake. I still couldn’t turn my head. All those popsicles were growing quite heavy. But, that sound. It must have been Velvet.
If she can do that...if she’s still trying…
I had to as well. It’s not enough that she could try to break free on her own. It had be me as well.
At first, all I could manage was to twitch my fingers. With each passing second, it was getting harder and harder to breathe.
But, if I can twitch my fingers…Yes!
I balled my hands into fists and with as much pressure as I could muster, I slammed my fists against the wall. It didn’t amount to much at first, but I kept trying. After a few tries, with increased force, my arms broke free and I could move them again.
However, the pain was excruciating. I cried out. I couldn’t cover my mouth.
“Hm? Oh, hello there,” Dr. Bob Ross turned to me. I raised my arm up and pressed the button on the backpack. Lasers fired around me and broke me free from the wall. With a thud, I landed.
After I brushed off the popsicle sticks, still disgusted, I looked up toward where that mad artist was.
“I’ll break Velvet out myself, then I’ll get up there and kick your ass! Mark my fucking words, you’re dead, kiddo!”
Dr. Bob Ross burst into laughter. “Okay, okay. Congratulations are in order. But you broke free a little sooner than I expected. I’m not ready for you yet.”
I cracked my knuckles and gave a fiendish grin. “Nobody’s ready for me. I can deal so much pain.”
“I’m going to need you to stay put and wait your turn,” she didn’t seem to heed my boasts at all. I watched her spin her finger, and from the ceiling, a giant claw reached down and pried my backpack off of me.
“Hey! What gives!”
She cupped her hands together and shouted: “Popsicle house time!”
“What?!”
Something dropped in front of me. Once again, I found myself confined.
Four walls. Small, dim, with a roof that was only a little above my head. My only reprieve was one window. I looked out: the room on the outside had grown brighter. I could see the encased area where Velvet was, but I no longer heard her knocks against the walls.
She better still be alive, dammit.
I leaned my head out a little more. Next to me was another popsicle house. Someone else leaned their head out: a bearded old man with gray, curly hair.
“She locked you up too, huh?”
I wasn’t about to dignify that with a response. Instead, I walked off to the other end of the popsicle house and ran toward the wall with full force, elbow in tow. Rather than the house breaking apart, all that happened was a world of hurt.
“Ow! Ow!” I winced. “Maybe I need to try harder.” I walked back, then ran again, with even more anger and drive. Again, nothing but pain.
“God damn! Who knew popsicles could be so sturdy?”
“Welcome to Gay Baby Jail,” the old man greeted once more. That time, I peeked out of the window once again.
“What did you call me?”
“That’s the name of the cell you’re in. Once she puts you in Gay Baby Jail, you’re not getting out unless she wants you to.”
I shook my head and lowered it against the window. “This is stupid…everything is so ridiculous.”
“This is your life now. Consider yourself a gay baby.”
“Ugh…” I groaned. “I am getting out of here. I don’t care how. I have to.”
“Why?”
“Because I have someone out there...we protect each other. I’m not saying I care about her, but she’s important to me and I’m going to do all that I can to make sure she’s well!”
Once again, I tried to break the walls that held me in. I wasn’t about to accept that it was useless. There had to be something I could do.
What wonderful muses I happened to acquire. Things were going so smooth that I almost felt like I needed to shake things up more. But patience. Those two were an inspiration, sure, but inspiration wasn’t instant. So while they were kept occupied, helping me along, I had to study them well.
“Now let’s see their character bios…” I pulled up a tablet. Just about everyone’s records was stored in The Flashbulb’s database. If we didn’t have a profile on them, well...I’d just have to make one, wouldn’t I? But let’s not be too hasty.
“What did they say their names were again? Velvet...and...Coriander? Is that right?”
Velvet was easy enough. Sure, there were many Velvets in most universes, but then there was matching a name to a face. Lucky for me, that also proved to be easy. Next was Coriander.
That one was a little harder. There were a few Corianders out there. More people named Cilantro, to be honest, but that was neither here nor there. But a Coriander that had some sort of relation to the Velvet whose profile was displayed in front of me? Unheard of. So instead I refined my search to all the people associated with that Velvet until I saw an image that matched “Coriander”.
My eyes lit up. Yes! YES!
“This! This right here! This is the inspiration I need!” Oh my, how interesting things were. To learn such things about those two. I could use that.
But enough about those two. They were a little preoccupied. My little muses were making me proud, reminding me of why I got into the game in the first place.
Yes: my backstory. Or more, my “midway” story. My humble origins as an intern for The Flashbulb, back when I was still among fellow artists. “But aren’t you still an intern?” The spectators might have asked, were there an audience to spectate on my thoughts. To answer those hypothetical spectators: yes. But there was an explanation for that.
It all started back in Flashbulb University (note: Flashbulb University was not an accredited university), a school where interns for The Flashbulb went, fully funded by the Education Department. We never really learned much, but the wiser of us would join clubs, otherwise we’d just get displaced and used as fodder for whatever tasks those in proper departments wanted done.
I had wandered down the halls, having gotten as lost as ever, when I pulled out my map. At the time, I developed a keen interest in the art of map making, as well as studying architecture. As it so happened to turn out, the layout of the university was...excuse my language...uncreative. If I had my way with the layout, well...I wouldn’t do anything. That wasn’t a medium I was willing to tackle just yet.
Yes. As loathe as I was to admit, there were certain arts that I would never be able to see myself doing. The art of cooking, the art of staying organized, the art of money management. Who needed any of those skills? Not me. Especially when I could just eat whatever was made at the cafeteria. My taste buds could handle anything, and not only that, I got to experience someone else’s art. Really digest it fully (most of the time).
One day in that very cafeteria, I met up with my fellow intern buddies, Dr. O’Keefe, Dr. Kahlo, Dr. Kubrick, and Dr. Méliès. Each of us were aspiring Flashbulb members as well as members of the Painting and A/V Clubs respectively.
“Every form of art will be available to you,” Dr. Louvre told me when I first joined. So naturally, the first thing I clung to was the art of film-making.
So we all sat, some of us eating tacos, others eating escargot. Me? I ate dried squid, of course.
“So what projects have you been up to?” Dr. Kubrick opened up the discussion.
“I’m studying a venus flytrap,” Dr. O’Keefe answered.
“I’ve been staring up at the moon,” it was Dr. Kubrick’s turn.
“No way! So have I!” Dr.  Méliès replied, a hint of astonishment in his voice. Then, I glanced over and noticed the two staring into each other’s eyes.
“I see the moon in your eyes,” Dr. Kubrick uttered such words.
“I see the same in yours.”
Was that really so inspiring? Yes. In much the same way I found inspiration from a burning building, Van Gogh found inspiration from the night sky. With that in mind, inspiration could come from anywhere. No, not just anywhere. Everywhere. Every little thing.
So while everyone began to chat among themselves, I began to doodle. Nothing in particular. Unlike my father, it wasn’t so much nature that inspired me, but humanity. Rather, the vague shape that humans took on.
That must be the reason I was recruited, I thought while reminiscing. Back in the memory, I recalled what happened as soon as Dr. Kubrick and Dr. Méliès left.
Dr. Pollack showed up and slammed his fists on the table.
“Hey guys!” He looked around. “Sorry, I should be more discreet.”
He sat down. “Sorry, I’m just frustrated.”
“Having an art block?” I asked as I sipped on oyster milk.
“No. It’s this...this whole thing! Day in, day out, we’re stuck as interns.”
“Well, there’s no way out of it,” Dr. O’Keefe replied. “The Flashbulb isn’t known for its upwards mobility. If they decide to put us in a department, they will, otherwise, we’re here doing their chores for them and anything else that needs to be done that they don’t want to do. Of course, if someone decides to attack the main headquarters, they keep us around so we can be their human shields.”
“Some saviors of humanity, am I right?” He slumped over.
All that time since I’ve known them and I never realized they had such ambitions.
“You know, if you want to be part of a department so bad, it’s not all that hard?” I spoke up.
“What was that?”
“Yeah, ya heard me. Easy peasy.”
“How do you figure that? It’s not like there’s an A/V Department or an Arts and Crafts Department.”
“Of course not. But there is a Fine Arts Department.”
“Those guys? Really? They’re all a bunch of snooty snobs!”
I scowled. “The answer is right in front of you, yet you refuse to see it.”
“Fine, if you’re so smart, tell us.”
“We bring the Arts and Crafts club and the Painting club and the A/V club to them. We could be the first department with its own set of sub-departments. So if you want, present them the opportunity to expand the Fine Arts Department. Those guys love the word ‘expansion’. All you have to do is say ‘expand’ and they get all hot and bothered. Try it.”
Those three looked at each other, then ran off. Not long after, the plan was a success, and Dr. Louvre as well as Dr. Cannes approached me.
“We have you to thank,” Dr. Louvre towered over me and every syllable out of his mouth boomed. “Without your help, we wouldn’t be able to,” he drew a deep breath, breathed the words between his nondescript lips. “Expand.”
He cleared his throat. It seemed that word had quite a powerful effect on him.
“But what about you?” He continued. “Isn’t there something you should want? With your artistic talent, we could make you one of the leaders of the Fine Arts Department, alongside the likes of Dr. Cannes and I.”
I shook my head. “All I want is my own studio. Food prepared for me. All the art supplies I could ever need. An assistant. That’s all.”
“Very well. It shall be done.”
Yeah, that guy sounded so big and commanding, but in actuality, he was too afraid of my artistic talents and so the Fine Arts Department left one day to a version of Earth, with no specific mission attached. While I was content to stay in my studio, I wished they would have invited me. Shame, too. They never did come back to the headquarters, and ever since, it seemed as if most people were too afraid to visit me. They gave me food, water, any art supply I needed, but that was about it.
Oh well. That was all history (in the sense that there were many gaps and the information that was known paints an incomplete picture). I had two muses now, and I would help them reach their full potential. Speaking of, it was probably about time for Velvet’s next movie to start. It should start getting good now that the movies were going to dig deeper into her consciousness.
Ah, I should’ve known by now; the walls were too thick. My movements grew weaker. It hurt just to stand.
I need to...I need to rest a bit…I’m sorry.
Right before passing out, I had just one more thought: Aha! So that’s how it works!
Then darkness once more.
Once again, I found myself leaning against the window, my only reprieve.
Then, I heard the worst thing I could hear: nothing. No more knocks against those walls.
Has she given up?
I kicked the popsicle wall that held me and screamed out. After a few huffs, I paced about.
“She better not be dead! I won’t allow it!” I growled. “She’s too good for that!”
“Relax,” the old man in the other cell called out to me. “If anything, she’s just passed out. Her second movie is probably about to start. It usually takes at least four movies to kill someone.”
Of course. She passed out before. When she first met me from a previous life, she held me at gunpoint while I held her at laserpoint. Her gun was empty. Before my lasers could fire, the power went out. Then, she passed out. It ended up being up to me to carry her and I to a locker, as I was worried about whatever danger could have lurked. Those were memories I still had, as painful as it may have been to recap.
“That...that doesn’t reassure me.” Even still, I felt too defeated to do anything other than relax. So I went back to the window.
“Maybe if I had a lighter or a flamethrower or something…” I shook my head.
“What do you need one of those for?” The old man asked.
“Are popsicle sticks flammable? I mean, they’re wood, right?”
“Those are the questions which will haunt me up to my deathbed.”
“Don’t be such a baby,” I scolded. That was something I needed to tell myself as well, huh? Why was I so worried about someone who didn’t need worrying about, anyway? She was capable. So it was fine. Ugh. No it wasn’t.
I shook my head.
“I can’t do nothing, and it’s not because I don’t think I could survive on my own. That’s not the issue. We could both probably survive on our own. But, I mean, just in case, I’d like to be there…” No, that didn’t sound right. “Well, what I mean is, even if we could both survive on our own, I’d like us to not be on our own as long as we’re alive, y’know? Gosh, maybe I’m taking this whole ‘til death do us part’ too seriously.”
“You sure do care about her, huh? So what, you two married or something?”
“What?! Why would you think that? That’s ridiculous. Anyway,” I smiled. “Yeah, I do. Even though I was supposed to hate her, it somehow ended up like this. She can get on my nerves sometimes but I know she just likes to see my reaction. If it’s something that really bothers me, she knows not to do it. She knows when to be serious, too, and she can be really supportive.”
“Sounds like the real deal.” “Oh yeah. That’s not even going into her talents. She can find the smallest details in the shortest amount of time. Hell, she’s the very definition of ‘think on your feet’. Like, sure, most of the time she’s lazy as fuck, but then when push comes to shove, she really shines. Her hacking skills are unparalleled, and she’s so resilient. Able to take on foes far stronger than her and still maneuver around whatever obstacle in her way. Being able to improvise and use anything around her to her advantage. Honestly, she inspires me, and I hope I can inspire her too.”
I lowered my head against the edge of the window and shook it. I felt like tears were about to fall out. So, at the very least, I made sure to smile.
“What’s wrong with me?” I shook my head.
“You’re a gay baby, all right,” he sounded like a fucking sage.
“Shut it, you. No one asked.”
I thought that maybe if I used my environment to my advantage, just like how I described Velvet, maybe I could have broken out. But I saw nothing that I could use.
Even if that were the case, I wouldn’t give up.
Ugh. Talk about weird dreams. Something about a fisherman’s wife and a giant squid. Being a pirate sure was a mess.
I got up from my uncomfortable cot in my captain’s quarters and stumbled out. As my accursed luck would have it, I had a headache. Like all things, I blamed it on the sea.
Yes, that very sea in which our pirate ship, the Jo-Ann’s Revenge resided.
My body ached as I swayed to and fro, as if enchanted by a sickening sea shanty.
God damn, how much rum did I have last night?
“Mornin’ Velvetbeard,” ol’ paranoid Connard greeted in ever the dull tone. “I hear the marines have taught the parrots to read our minds. We must steady our guard.”
“Uh, yeah. Okay. Jot that down or something.”
Our crew ate our share of mackerel and sardines for breakfast all while we gathered around the table and made plans for our next raid.
“So there’s a trade ship that was spotted,” Connard reported.
“Do we know its contents?”
He nodded. “Doritos, fruit snacks, top ramen. All your favorites.”
“Hot pockets?”
“Yes.”
“Ugh...but when I think of all the sodium…” I leaned over the table and rested my head on it. “Can I just, like, go back to bed? I’ve got this massive headache and I’m tired of pirating.”
“I knew it!” The Jolly Kelly Roger barged in. “You’re not really a pirate, are you? You’re a spy for the marines!”
“The fuck? Forget the plank, I’ll throw you overboard with my bare hands.”
“Go ahead! I hear there’s a pirate ship full of catgirls and I’m prepared to swim over to them!”
I looked up. “Real shit?”
“Mm-hmm! Anyways, see ya. I’m off to cat paradise.”
Jolly Kelly Roger was never seen again.
Meanwhile, three years later, and I wasn’t quite sure what all happened, but Connard went to chill in some pyramid and I lost most of my crew. All that was left was Blanka, Connard’s best and only friend. Who for some reason decided to go with me of all pirates (people).
“How did it even come to this?” I shook my head. Three years, and the headache still hadn’t gone away. It was like a coconut kept dropping on my head every morning.
“Something something gray stoner pirates,” Blanka replied, although Blanka was no longer there.
It was up to me to take on the marines and the 51st Fleet all by my lonesome. So I did. I infiltrated their ranks by punching a hole in the bottom of their vessel and jumping up. To think it was common belief that it was impossible to sneak in. Ha.
I’ve already done it once before, in fact. Like, some odd years back. When I was a wee little Velvetbeard. My first mate, Violetbeard was rumored to have been captured by the 51st fleet, so I took it upon myself to sneak in and find her, for the thought of what horrifying things they could have done to her was too much for me to bear. Unfortunate for me, I never did find her, nor a trace that she was even there. The best I could manage was stealing a pirate ship from them. That is why the Jo-Ann’s Revenge exists.
Now, onto the sneaky pirate stuff…
“There’s gotta be something I can do,” my voice grew weary in what must have been such a short amount of time.
You’re nothing without your technology.
Maybe that was true at one point in time. Even if that was still true, anything could be technology if it could be utilized…
“Isn’t the right, popsicle stick sticking out on the ceiling?” I looked up. Such a faint hope. How to get there. But wasn’t that what my whole journey was built on? Some faint hope that I took a chance with and made it far enough to find myself where I was. So being “stuck” wouldn’t register to me. Even in my past life, though others were convinced I was stuck, I still tried and fought anyway.
There were “ledges” (so many quotations, I know. Bear with me), I could use. Flimsy, easy to break, but that lent me more hope than despair. All I needed was one, maybe even a few, and I could make my attempt…
So, one foot over the other one, and just a few steps more, and I had gotten the diamond stick in the rough. The wooden needle in the needlestack. Just as my luck had turned bright, I lost my footing and fell back onto the metal floor.
“Owwww,” I groaned. There went my youthful back. Now I welcomed the embrace of my newfound elderly back. Oh, and the embrace of several popsicle sticks. One of which, I held in my hand, and when I shook the rest off of me, I got to work.
“You okay over there?” The old man called.
“The okayest,” I scoffed. Then I got to work chiseling away at the wall in front of me.
“What are you doing, anyway?” “Well, old gay baby, I don’t know about you, but this gay baby wants to leave the crib.”
“She can see you, you know.”
“Let her try and stop me.”
“How bold.”
“I’m not bold, I just happened to make the first move.”
“Bold statement.”
That guy was frustrating me. But, deep breaths, I tried to play it cool.
“What are you even in there for, anyway? I just realized I never thought to ask.”
“I was hired as her assistant after the last one got set on fire and had to be hospitalized. I told her that her paintings should have more men in them, especially men in diapers. She scowled, put me in a diaper, then kept me in here.”
“Oh jeez. I’m sorry.”
“Why? It’s not all that bad once you get used to it. I actually rather enjoy it. Plus, I don’t have to go to the bathroom, because I’m always already there.”
Ew. Ew. EW.
“Okay, uh, what was your name again?”
“Dr. Michelangelo.”
That made too much sense.
“Okay, Dr. Michelangelo. You stay right there. I’m not breaking you out.” Once I was free, I hoped and prayed that I never had to meet him again.
Hold on, Velvet. This gay baby is learning to crawl.
So far, so good. The whole sneaking business was a go. Then came the inevitable.
“Jolene, I know you’re there! You stole my man!”
Shivers ran down my timbers. The unmistakable voice of Mustachebeard, the fearsome vice-admiral for the marines. For the record, yes, I did say I was Jolene when I infiltrated their ship last time, but no, I did not steal anyone’s man.
I did my best to avoid detection, knocking marines out one by one as I traversed the hallowed halls of the ship. I stole a musket off of one of the marines, which really helped once I made it above deck of the ship and found one of the vice-admiral’s lookouts. I ran up to her and before she had the chance to pull out her weapon, I pointed the musket I had looted right at her face.
“Y’arr. Name’s Velvetbeard. I’m here to steal your heart.”
“You,” she growled. “I heard you’re the worst pirate to have ever existed.”
“Nah, there’s worse. There’s gotta be, right? I mean, I can’t be that bad, can I?”
I pulled the trigger, but nothing happened. As it turned out, the musket had no ammo. That, and I didn’t know how a musket worked.
“Nice try,” she smirked. “Now men! Fire!”
Behind her was a firing squad, which meant that I was as good as dead. But instead, everything went black. Everything began to spin in place.
That girl, whatever her name was...was kind of cute.
Yes. There was the headache, in full force. My head felt ready to split itself open and all the contents would spill forth for the world to see. It all felt both so uneasy and yet so familiar. As if it was all a rehash of something that I had been a part of before. Something long gone.
It was but a small opening, but that opening was good enough for me. Like a baby, I crawled through and as soon as I was out, I ran over to the metal box that Velvet was trapped in. I kept banging my fists against it.
“I’m impressed, but at the same time, I wish you’d slow it down! She’s got at least two more movies left in her! The next one will surely dig deep into her psyche.”
“Not. Gonna. Happen,” I growled.
That same gloved metal claw came, likely to pick me up. Some artist Dr. Bob Ross was if she thought I was going to be fooled twice. I swerved to my side to avoid the reach, then I grabbed on to the metal spring and I began to hit the wall with the metal claw.
I was awoken by that same lookout, the one I thought was kinda cute. We were in the middle of a cabin. She shook me awake. As it stood, I was grape jelly.
“Come on, we gotta work together if we wanna make it out.”
“Ugh...what happened?” I rubbed my forehead.
“We were invaded by the Polo Wearing Pirates. Fearsome bandits, they are. As much as I hate to admit it, I need your help. Everyone else aboard the ship has died.”
“Oh, I see what’s going on. Some kind of enemies to lovers type thing, right?”
“Wrong. This is serious. We will never be anything more than enemies.”
“Then why did you kiss my forehead?”
I paused.
She was gone. I was somewhere else. In the clouds? Or aboard another pirate ship. Or in a room, where my former first mate was, Violet. Just Violet.
“Why hello,” Violet greeted.
“What...what are you doing here?”
“You wanted to see me. So I am here.”
“But…” It was ten years. Tears began to trickle down. “I can accept you being gone.”
I knew where I was. At a park. Close to where the school was.
“You’re still the same timid Velvet I knew.”
“How do I escape this movie?” I demanded. Was it me coming back to my senses? No. It was just something that came out.
She approached me. Between the high seas and what I thought to be the closing credits. But maybe they were cornflakes in the wind.
“You wish you knew what happened to me. But you never will. That you may have accepted, but it will still be on your mind. The thought of what became of me. Whether I lived or died, and if I lived, have I lived a good life?”
I shook my head. “Maybe I wonder from time to time. Maybe you will always be someone that I’ll miss. But you know what? So will anyone else that I meet. I’ve accepted that I’m not the type to forget people, no matter how big or small the impact. So...deal with it.”
Yes. That was what they called a flashback. Or forward. Or somewhere in between, on the side. Because I was still next to that blue haired spice.
“So you see, ten years ago there was someone who knew me as someone else. I’m still an anxious person from time to time, but I’m also much more than that. In fact, some would even go as far as to call me ‘badass’.”
“What are you talking about?” My enemy, not lover, asked.
“I...maybe you’ll find out in a later stage of our relationship,” I teased. We got up, but I fell again.
“Sorry,” I croaked. “Now I must inform you that I feel like I am dying.”
My eyes. They eclipsed.
Pounding sounds began to erupt, like my own heartbeat. I clutched my chest, but that didn’t feel right.
“Oh no!” The blue haired wonder cried out. “We have to hurry! The ship is exploding! Our ship is going down!”
I tried to get up, but I could feel the heat. Smoke rose up all around us and I started to cough. Not only was the rest of the ship on fire, but so were my lungs.
There.
At last, the box was broken. Gas leaked out and dissipated. I covered my mouth, but I could still feel the effects making me dizzy. Not to mention that I already felt weak from my previous two ordeals.
I looked around and there Velvet was, on the floor. I rushed to her.
“Hey! Hey!” I shook her.
“Our ship is sinking…” I heard her mutter.
“No it’s not! See, I’m right here!”
I held her against me. It took me a few more seconds to register that she was just asleep, but even still, I needed her awake. Then, I thought of something.
“Hey if you wake up, I’ll kiss you on the lips.”
Her eyes shot open. “Real shit?” She uttered with a groggy voice. Then she looked over and saw that it was me, “oh hey, enemies to lovers.”
I groaned. “I wish you wouldn’t remind me.”
Now, there was just one other matter to attend to...but before I could get to that, Velvet tugged at my shirt collar.
“What about the kiss?”
“Can’t it wait? We’re in the middle of a fight.”
“No.”
I let out an exaggerated sigh, then leaned in and gave her a peck.
“Really?! That’s it?! Come on!” She jolted up.
“I’ll do it for real later,” then I turned my attention to what was behind her: the gun that she had before passing out. I took it and almost dropped it, the damn thing was so heavy. Just a few more steps, though, and I would then part with it.
“Hey Popsigirl!” I yelled.
From atop the pillar, I saw a hand emerged which then proceeded to wave at me.
I growled, then threw the gun at the pillar. All the popsicle sticks began falling down, one by one, as the mad artist’s tower crumbled.
Court dismissed.
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etherealwaifgoddess · 5 years
Text
A Twenty-First Century Halloween
Main Characters: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes
Summary: Bucky learns what Halloween is all about in the twenty-first century. Steve & Bucky have very different ideas on what festive Halloween treats are. And Steve thinks he has a perfect costume but learns he didn’t think it all the way through. 
Warnings/ Content: Light swearing but mostly just our sweet Brooklyn boys being complete and utter dorks. 
Word Count: 2773
Author’s Note: As I was daydreaming of Halloween this morning (it’s my favorite day of the year), it dawned on me that back in the 20′s and 30′s they didn’t have trick or treating like we do now. It wasn’t a thing until the 50′s at which point Steve was in the ice and Bucky was in and out of Cryo. This lead me down a rabbit hole of thinking about what Bucky would think of a modern Halloween and blindly ignoring MCU cannon while I writing this fic. I hope you all enjoy this little bit of fluff in honor of the upcoming holiday. 
XOXO - Ash
A Twenty-First Century Halloween
“But why?” Bucky asks a third time, still confused.
Steve groans, scrubbing a hand over his face in exasperation. “Because it makes people happy, Buck. Look, you don’t have to participate. I know crowds can be a little hard on you. You can just hang out upstairs until I’m done.” 
Bucky thinks hard for a few beats, considering his options. Trick or treating wasn’t a thing when they were growing up. There were parades and parties, sometimes kids would get apples or small things from their neighbors, but it was never kids dressed up in elaborate costumes getting mass quantities of candy from every available house. 
It’s the costume that really seals the deal. Bucky considers if he dresses up as someone else he’s less likely to scare anyone, and it would be nice to get smiles from people for a change instead of the concerned, or blatantly afraid, looks he’s been getting since he arrived. He thinks he could even find one that disguises his metal arm, even further hiding his identity. “Okay, I’m in.” he tells Steve who had gone back to reading his newspaper. Steve looks up with his warm, proud smile and Bucky ducks his head, nodding once. It’s hard to accept that level of emotion from anyone, let alone his best friend, but he tries to at least acknowledge it. It doesn’t help that Steve has been giving him that look for everything lately; from when he remembered the neighbor lady’s name from their tennatment back in 1934, to when he decided he liked pizza with pepperoni on it the best. 
Steve was serious when he told Bucky that Halloween was one of his favorite days. It’s not even two hours later that Steve is handing Bucky the Starkpad for him to look up costume ideas. “We only have a week, Buck. You need to order something soon so it gets here in time.” he tells him with a hopeful expression. Bucky knows Steve isn’t trying to be pushy, he’s just genuinely excited to share the holiday with him. It takes some time and a lot of Pinterest searches but he finally decides on Buck Rogers. He loved the comics back in the day and it’s a pretty simple outfit. He doesn’t expect anyone will recognize it but that doesn’t matter to him, he mainly just wants to look like someone who isn’t the winter soldier for a day. The irony of the name makes him secretly pleased as well and he can’t wait to see Steve’s reaction. 
Bucky finds a costume on Etsy with ease and though the price gives him a momentary heart attack, he reminds himself that money isn’t an issue anymore. He checks his email confirmation and lets Steve know his costume will arrive two days before Halloween. This seems to appease him, though he looks disappointed when Bucky won’t tell him what costumed he picked. Steve already had his costume picked out and it is set to arrive over the weekend. He’s going as Paul Bunyan and will be all kitted out with flannel and an axe. Bucky thinks it’s just another excuse to not shave the beard he’d grown but has to admit the costume is a good fit for Steve. 
Bucky can’t put his boots on fast enough when Steve tells him they are going shopping for Halloween candy. He has an incomparable sweet tooth and has been dreaming of endless bags of sugary goodness for Halloween with no judgement from Steve - eat your vegetables - Rogers. Bucky is sorely disappointed by Steve’s interpretation of Halloween candy when they get to Whole Foods. 
“This isn’t the point of the holiday!” Bucky whines as Steve loads yet another flat of mini water bottles to their cart. 
“You…. you didn’t even know what the holiday was about until three days ago!” Steve sputters back in protest. 
“But now I do, and water bottles and gluten free pretzels are NOT it.” Bucky points at the cart like it’s a rabid animal and Steve just rolls his eyes.
“Kids get thirsty and so do the parents, so yes, water bottles are needed. The gluten free pretzels are for the kids with allergies because they should be included too. I even got the pumpkin shaped ones so they’re festive! And I have the fruit leathers so they get something sweet too. I just want to give the kids something good instead of the crap they can get everywhere else. Besides, we can afford to give out better things; so we should.” 
“But you said we would get Halloween candy.” Bucky is unabashedly pouting, it doesn’t matter he is a grown man in the middle of Whole Foods; he wants brightly wrapped, sugar laden, twenty first century Halloween candy, damnit. 
Steve pinches the bridge of nose, clearly exasperated. “I said we’d get Halloween treats, Buck. I never promised you candy. Now, do you need anything while we’re here? They might have that cheese you liked a few weeks ago back in stock.” 
Bucky sighs heavily, “Yes, of course I want the cheese. Let’s go to look.” his voice is heavy with defeat which Steve pointedly ignores. But he should have known Bucky doesn’t give up that easily.
They are barely out of the Whole Foods parking lot when Bucky holds up his phone to show Steve a shopping list, “Damn. I forgot to get more hand soap.”
“Just use the bottle from the guest bathroom. We can pick some up next time we’re out.” Steve tells him as he navigates their way onto the main highway. 
Bucky shakes his head, “No, because then we’ll forget and then what happens when we have guests? There’s a Target on our way back, stop there and I can get the good kind we both like.” 
Steve wants to protest, he really does. But then Bucky plays the only card he has left. “Please? I’m having a really good brain-day and I want to stop while I know I’ll be okay.” he looks so earnest and pleading that even Captain America doesn’t stand a chance against him.
“Okay, we’ll stop. I’m glad you’re doing good today. I’m proud of you, pal.” 
Bucky grins and tries not bounce in his seat in anticipation. He knows full well what he is doing and it has been far too long since he’s gotten one over on Steve. The car is barely in park when Bucky is jumping out of his seat. “It’s okay, I’ll be quick. Don’t worry about me.” He calls over his shoulder as he bolts.
Steve makes a small huff of agreement but Bucky is already off. As he sits waiting in the car he realizes Bucky had been a little too excited at the prospect of buying hand soap. It’s rare for him to venture into a store solo, too. Steve is trying to figure out what he is missing when a mother strolls past with a small cart filled with candy and three smiling kids in tow. It clicks into place;  Bucky doesn’t want soap, he wants candy. 
The Halloween shop is in the very back corner of the store, far from the soap aisle and not somewhere Bucky could easily wander into by mistake. But that’s where Steve finds him. The former deadly assassin is hastily scooping value sized bags of candy into a shopping cart, his eyes lit up with excitement. 
“I didn’t know they made Twix scented soap.” Steve deadpans. 
Bucky drops a bag and lets out a very small squeak in surprise. “Uh…” he stammers, desperately thinking of an excuse, “It’s new?” 
Steve laughs, loud and deep. He can’t be mad at Bucky for this. It’s his first Halloween in modern times and he should be enjoying it. Steve’s therapist had talked to him at length about letting Bucky decide who he is now and not imposing his own ideas on him. This, Steve supposes, is one of those times. 
Steve crosses the aisle and takes a bag of mixed lollipops out of the cart, placing it back on the shelf in its designated spot. Bucky watches, frozen in place, as Steve picks up a bag of Reese’s pumpkins and drops them in the cart instead. “Jeez, Buck, at least get the good stuff.” he says giving Bucky the same shitty little grin that hasn’t changed since 1925.
It’s Bucky’s turn to laugh and he pulls Steve in for a long hug as he calms. Together they finished raiding the Halloween candy, getting Bucky everything he could possibly want to try. They even remember to stop by the soap aisle on the way to the registers, Bucky insisting they really do need soap. 
In the three days leading up to Halloween Bucky spends an inordinate amount of time sampling the wide array of candy from Target. Steve isn’t sure which stresses him out more, the sheer quantity of sugar and processed junk Bucky is inhaling, or the never ending trail of tiny candy wrappers he finds all over the house. He takes both in stride, letting Bucky get this candy exploration out of his system. It’s only a few days of the year and Bucky does seem to be in better spirits with something to celebrate on the horizon. He even goes to the local farmers market to pick up pumpkins for them to carve (a complete disaster) and handmade crafts to decorate the house (actually pretty cute). 
The day of Halloween, Steve has everything lined up in their foyer and ready to hand out well before dinner. It’s tradition for him to get everything ready mid afternoon so he isn’t rushing through dinner and trying to hand out candy at the same time. Bucky is amused by the seriousness in which Steve takes his preparation but helps out as much as Steve lets him. Satisfied everything is in place, Steve places an order for Tex-Mex delivery and heads upstairs to get changed into his costume. Bucky doesn’t need much prep time but follows in Steve’s footsteps, figuring he might as well do the same.
The all white costume is a little uncomfortable but it will only be on for a few hours and Bucky figures it could be worse. He straps the multi-colored band around his bicep and attaches the faux futuristic weapons to his silver belt. The overall effect is pretty spot on, though Bucky muses if he still had his pre-war hairstyle it would be even better. He doesn’t let it bother him too much as he pulls his shoulder length hair back into a low bun. He’s become too attached to his longer hair to ever get it cut short again. It had grown out a little while he was living in Romania, and he found he enjoyed caring for it as well as the gentle weight of it laying on his shoulders. It serves as another reminder that he is a person now, no longer just a weapon. 
Bucky stops a few steps shy of the bottom of the stairs when he catches sight of Steve standing in their living room in his costume. He’s wearing a red and black flannel shirt with a pair of blue jeans and tan work boots. It’s perfect, even down to the prop axe he’s holding loosely at his side. There’s a nagging feeling in Bucky’s mind though and he thinks he’s missing something. He’s almost got it when Steve calls out and distracts him from his thoughts.
“Look at you, Buck!” Steve exclaims as he joins him in the living room, “Didn’t want to change your name even for a night, huh?” 
“Yeah, I couldn’t resist.” Bucky says with a laugh.
“You look great. You sure you’re ready for this, though?”
“Yes ma. It’s just a bunch of kids, I’m gonna be fine, promise.” 
Steve claps a large hand on Bucky’s shoulder. He looks like he wants to say more but is interrupted by a pinging sound from his phone, announcing the arrival of their dinner delivery.
The first set of trick or treaters arrive just as the sun is starting to set and Steve is absolutely gushing at the two little girls in bumblebee costumes. They can’t be more than a year and a half, and they both wobble on their little legs while Steve places treats in their plastic pumpkins. Bucky smiles and greets the parents while Steve fawns over the kids, handing them each a water bottle and offering them granola bars from the adult snack bowl. They fall into an easy pattern after a few rounds of families come through; Steve being completely over the top to the kids about their costumes (“You’re the scariest Zombie ever!” and also, “Are you a princess in real life?”), and Bucky making small talk with the parents. It isn’t until two women crack up at the sight of Steve that Bucky finally realizes what he was missing earlier. Steve’s costume might have intended to be Paul Bunyan but there was another famous woodsman he failed to consider when putting his costume together.
“Ohmygawd you’re the Brawny Man!” the one woman shrieks in between giggles. 
Bucky wants to facepalm, of course that’s where he’s seen the flannel/jeans/boots combo before! It’s on the wrapper of the paper towel rolls that he walks past almost daily in their pantry. Bucky snorts before he can help himself but he stifles his laughter the best he can and leans away from Steve when he fails. 
Steve blushes as brightly as only a pale skinned Irishman can and plasters on his formal Captain America smile. “Paul Bunyan, actually, but thanks.” he tells the women. 
Both women apologize profusely through more giggles and Bucky finally gets himself under wraps by the time they leave. Steve shoots him a glare, still blushing fiercely, and Bucky just shrugs innocently at his best friend. 
The tips of Steve’s ears are still tinged crimson when the next person giggles over his “Brawny Man” costume. Bucky fails even more at stifling his laughter and covers it, although transparently, with a coughing fit. 
Steve might be a hundred years old but he is sulking like he did when he was a teenager after a dozen people mis-guess his costume. Bucky tries to rally Steve’s spirits but only gets a long suffering eye roll in response. 
The trick or treaters steadily flow through until a little after nine and then things trickled down to a full stop by nine thirty. They are almost out of snacks and water bottles so it’s good timing that it stopped when it did. Steve turns off their porch light and locks the door behind him before leaning against it, yawning deeply. 
“You okay there, Brawny Man?” Bucky teases as he grabs two water bottles from the bucket. 
Steve catches the water bottle Bucky tosses to him and groans at the joke, “Not you too.”
“You have to admit, it does kind of look like him.”
“I will do no such thing. But at least people had heard of Paul Bunyan.”
“Hey, one person recognized my costume. That was better than I expected.”
“She was ninety three years old. Your costume is only relevant to the aged. Mine is still a beloved children’s story.”
“Or a useful household cleaning item.”
Steve huffs and throws his bottle at Bucky’s head but Bucky snatches it mid-air and sticks his tongue out at Steve defiantly. “Next year I’m gonna dress up as robot, I think. It might be fun to make the rest of me match the arm instead of trying to make it blend in. I saw a robot makeup tutorial on Pinterest and I think I could pull it off. What do you think?”
Steve smiles, shaking his head. “You really enjoyed this, huh?”
“Hell yes, I did. We did a good thing tonight for the neighborhood kids. And it was a lot of fun too.”
“Yeah, we did. I’m glad you enjoyed this as much as I do.” 
“And next year we’re gonna hand out some real candy too.”
“Buck, no.”
“Buck, yes.” Bucky grins broadly and Steve can’t help but laugh at his antics. 
“We’ll talk about it in exactly 358 days.” He assures him.
Bucky points a finger at Steve, “I’m holding you to that, Rogers.”
The pair finish cleaning up the buckets of leftover treats in the foyer, and Bucky even talks Steve into a single Reese’s pumpkin while they watch “It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”. It was a perfect first Halloween for Bucky and he already can’t wait for next October. 
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