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whiteqnn · 5 years ago

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Pairing: Corpse Husband x Fem! Reader

Summary: Sean invites one of his good friends - Y/N - to play with him and the group. She has a lot of fun with them, but at the same time is too oblivious, too nice, and too pure to notice that one particular Among Us player has taken a liking to her the moment he heard her voice...

Notes: Hello everyone! This is the very first time I’m publishing something bigger in here, I’m honestly still figuring out how Tumblr works, even though I’ve had this account for quite some time now 😅. That being said, please don’t expect anything super impressive. I tried my best though just so you know. 🥺

A/N- It didn’t turn out as I expected, but I really hope at least some of you find it enjoyable :(

Y/C/N - your channel name

part 2

part 3

part 4

part 5

PURE [1]

“Did you guys find anybody?” Felix asked, as the number of players still showed just 7 of them. They could just start now, but the game would be way more fun with a full lobby.

“Yeah, Lily’s joining. I just texted her the code, so she should be here at any moment.” Sykkuno replied after receiving a text message from the said girl. “Oh, and Corpse also said he’d be joining soon.”

“Great. Anyone else?”

“I think Jack was also bringing someone, right?” Dave asked.

“Huh? Oh yeah, I have one coming, she’ll join us in a few” the asked man replied at the same moment Lily’s character appeared in the lobby.

“Who you’re bringing Jack?”

“Y/N” he said, causing Felix to gasp in shock and yell into his mic:

“How the fuck did you manage to convince her? I’ve been bugging her about this game for the past week and she always had some excuse!”

“What can I say, my charm is irresistible” Jack replied nonchalantly, causing everyone in the lobby to laugh at his fake deep voice.

The number of participants changed to 9, as a little black astronaut with horns on his helmet appeared in the lobby.

“Corpse, you’re here!” Rae’s character ran up to the man, circling him excitedly.

“Hey man!”

“What’s up, Corpse?”

“Hello everyone” his deep voice sounded out “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“All good man, we’re still waiting for one person.” Felix reassured him “Sean, why is she not here yet? Are you sure you’ve sent her the right code?”

“Of course I am!” he all but shouted at Felix “And about that, she just texted me to give her a few more minutes and that we should start without her.”

“We can just wait, right?” Lily offered, earning a few hums of approval from the others.

“I think it might take a little longer than a few minutes, she has some problems with her microphone.”

“Who are you guys talking about?” Corpse asked, completely unaware of who Jack was referring to.

“Wait, Jack, you mean Y/N from Y/C/N?” Sykkuno asked suddenly, only then realizing why this name sounded familiar

“Yeah, the one and only” Jack replied, a smile evident in his voice.

“Oh my god, I love her videos!” Rae exclaimed at that “She’s so funny and sweet!”

“Yeah! Her new video is so freaking cute, I wish she’d upload more often.” Poki agreed.

“Right?” Jack said, clearly very proud of his friend. “But don’t let that sweet demeanor fool you guys cause she’s one of the best players I’ve encountered in this game.”

“That’s true, she’s a secret big brain genius” Toast confirmed, making Pewdiepie gasp once again.

“wHAT??YOU TWO PLAYED WITH HER?!” Felix’s offended voice boomed through everyone’s headphones “HOW DARE YOU. HOW COULD YOU NOT INVITE ME?!”

“That’s for not inviting me to your latest Cringe episode!” Jack was quick to respond, making others in the lobby laugh at their mini fight.

“Oh, so that’s where I recognized her from!” Sykkuno nearly shouted when he finally put two and two together. “I can’t wait to meet her, she seems like a really nice person.”

“She is! When she got impostor for the first time she refused to kill me” Toast explained, earning himself a couple of Aww’s from his friends. “So we just ran around the emergency button until I called the meeting and voted her off.”

“Yeah, only to be her first victim in the next game.” Jack all but giggled, clearly very amused at the memory of Y/N going into a full berserk mode. No one except for him and Toast knew how good she really was at this game...

“She’s basically the wolf in sheep’s skin” Felix concluded with a chuckle “Very soft wolf, however.”

“She’s like the complete opposite of Corpse, both in voice and personality” Jack suddenly said, making Felix laugh wholeheartedly at something only two of them understood at the moment.

“I don’t know how should I take that” Corpse admitted with a chuckle. He remained silent for most of the conversation since he didn’t really know who the guys were talking about. But he would lie if he said he wasn’t intrigued by this girl at least in the slightest. Although he heard about her channel, he hasn’t seen any of her videos, so he didn’t really know what to expect. But hearing what gamers like Sean and Felix said about her, he knew he’s not gonna be disappointed once the girl joins them in the game.

“Imagine Corpse and Y/N talking.” Felix said suddenly with a seemingly very amused voice.

“Imagine Corpse and Y/N both being Impostors” Toast said, which resulted in many of them shouting over each other at how crazy that would be.

“Alright, now that you mention this I start fearing the moment two of them meet” Jack confessed with loud laughter following the sentence. Corpse chuckled deeply under his breath, at the same time glancing at the questions his audience was asking him in his stream. He could hardly read any, as there were quite a lot of people asking, so all he saw was just a bunch of comments moving at the speed of light in his chat. He wouldn't say it out loud, but he was slightly nervous, seeing the growing number of people watching his stream. It was still a rather new thing to him, and he feared he'd say something inappropriate, or just make a complete idiot out of himself.

"At least no one can see me..." he mumbled under his breath after muting his microphone.

"Oh! Y/N just texted me! She's joining the call right now!"

"Fuck yeah!" Felix shouted excitedly "Just so you know Jack, I won't forget that you two played without me."

"Uh-oh. Is that a threat? Are you threatening me now?"

"It's a warning" Felix replied, receiving a series of gasps from other players. "If I get impostor, you're the first one on my list."

"Okay, everyone heard that! You know who to vote off when I'm dead!"

"It's so cool to play with someone new, I wonder if she's as good as you guys depict her" Sykkuno spoke up, but before anyone could answer his question, a new character popped up in the lobby.

***

"Hi everyone! I’m sorry I left you just like that, but this stream would be completely useless without me being able to answer your questions. Fortunately it wasn’t anything serious, I just had to readjust my mic and go through the settings to find what was wrong. Took some time, but here I am now!” Y/N chirped into her microphone, smiling apologetically at her webcam. At the moments like this, she really appreciated how supportive her audience was. No one was hating on her when she had to get off the stream for a couple of minutes, and everyone was just so understanding that it made her heart melt. Perhaps her audience wasn’t very big, but it felt almost like a second family to her.

“Anyway, as you already know from my twitter, today I’ll be playing Among Us with my friends and their friends! I can’t wait if I’m being honest, last time I played this game was so much fun, and there was only a few of us.” she admitted with a genuine smile on her face. “Let’s just text Sean now so we can get into the lobby...”

Y/N: Ready to play with you guys ^^

Jackaboy: Great! You got that mic fixed already?

Y/N: Yes, everything is fine. I’m sorry you had to wait so long.

Jackaboy: It’s all good kiddo, no worries. I’ll call you and send you the code in a sec.

Y/N: Perfect, thank you Sean :)

Jackaboy: Btw, everyone can’t wait to meet you ;-)Y/N stared at the screen for a moment, only now, seconds before joining the group, realizing how nervous she felt. From Sean’s tweets she saw earlier, she figured that the lobby was right now full of many famous streamers, those she wouldn’t even compare herself to. It’s not that she thought of herself very low, but... being among such youtube celebrities like them made her panic a little bit. She didn’t want to look like a complete fool amongst them.

Playing or recording with Sean and Felix was something else because she knew those guys for years (and yet still sometimes found herself thinking how lucky she got to be able to call them her friends). She felt good in their company, not worrying about choosing the right words. But amongst the rest of the players, she knew only Toast and talked with Rae maybe once in her life...

What if the rest won’t like her?

Y/N cleared her throat, realizing that she was still staring at her phone like hypnotized and her audience was already asking her what’s going on. She quickly typed in the code Sean had texted her and readjusted her headphones, before joining the discord chat.

“THERE SHE IS” screamed Sean, making her grin from ear to ear, hearing how excited he was “Little wonderchild!”

“I think you meant little TRAITOR” Felix corrected him with a scoff. A silence settled in the lobby as everyone was waiting for Y/N to speak up.

“Um... hello everyone..” she said softly, almost inaudibly, a sudden wave of shyness taking over her. “I’m Y/N”

“Oh, you were right about that Corpse thing!” replied another, also very soft and very sweet voice, and Y/N saw the image of someone named Lily pop up. “It’s like the exact opposite!”

“See? Told ya. Everyone, meet Y/N/N, the little angel from Y/C/N.”

“Hey Y/N!”

“Hi there!”

“Hey, what’s up?”

“H-Hi, so great to meet you, Y/N!” a very friendly sounding voice said, and a little lime astronaut with the name Sykkuno above it started running around her. “Can’t wait to play with you!”

“That’s so nice, thank you” she replied with a wide smile on her face, moving around his character as well. “I can’t wait to play with you too, actually with all you guys. It’s so great to be here with you.”

“Jack I swear she’s the cutest little thing I’ve ever heard. Where the hell did you find her?!” Poki all but yelled at the man, making Y/N giggle to herself and in-process loosen up a little bit. They all seemed like someone she’d happily be friends with.

“Or rather, where do you get one?” someone else commented, making them all burst into laughter, Y/N included.

“Guys, what did I say about that sweet demeanor...” Jack said after calming down from his fit “Don’t put your guard down just because she sounds like that!”

“Wait- what did you tell them about me?” Y/N asked confused, the tone of her voice making him laugh even more “Jack!”

“Don’t worry, only the good stuff” a very deep, low voice spoke up, leaving her taken aback for a moment. Her eyes widened slightly and she glanced at the name of that person, reading out CORPSE. Now that’s something she didn’t expect...

“Corpse, mind your manners! You didn’t even introduce yourself!”

“Oh, shit- yeah, sorry. Um, I’m Corpse, it’s very nice to meet you Y/N” he replied right after, making her lip corners curl up into a smile.

“Nice to meet you too Corpse, you have a really pleasant voice.” she spoke sweetly, completely unaware of the chaos that was taking place in her stream chat. She didn’t even think of it the way her audience did, she just simply spoke up her mind, and being an incredibly nice person - turned it into a compliment.

“Oh- wow. I mean, thank you so much. I love your voice too, it’s really sweet” he replied, nervously chuckling at the end, before muting his mic. It was, however, enough for Felix and Sean to start teasing him, as the two immediately screamed:

“SIIIMP!!!”

“It’s the voice Felix, I told you he’d fall into her trap!”

“Wait- he was just being nice, guys! Stop making fun of him” Y/N immediately defended the man, trying to speak up over the hysterical laughter of the other players.

“Oh my god, but what if they both get impostors and they both pull the voice cards on us?!” Rae managed to yell through all the noise, making Y/N even more confused.

“Wait, what? What do you mean? I don’t understand.”

“Don’t worry Y/N, that’s how I feel all the time around them.” Sykkuno seemed to be the only one who heard her question, as the rest continued their gabbing without giving her as much as a glance.

“Alright, let’s start the game maybe. I might have a few old scores to settle” Toast cleared his throat theatrically, his astronaut coming face to face with Y/N’s.

“Oh, you mean me? I thought I already apologized!” she replied frantically. “You gave me no choice Toast, I didn’t even want to kill you in the first place...”

“BUT YOU DID. IN THE VERY FIRST ROUND”

“I’m sorry!”

“Alright, enough! Toast, just don’t kill her right away, okay? Let her run around the map, fearing for her life for a moment.” Y/N gasped upon hearing Jack’s words, clearly sensing the smirk behind his voice.

“Wha- Jack?! Since when are you against me?!”

“Don’t worry Y/N, I won’t let them hurt you. You haven’t played with us yet, I’ll protect you.”

“Oh, thank you so much Sykkuno! I’ll protect you too!”

“Great. Another one simping...” was Felix’s last words, before the game began.

Y/N sighed in relief upon seeing the word crewmate forming on her screen, but at the same time feared Toast’s inevitable revenge. She thought they'd already buried the hatchet, but it seemed that he was desperate to make her pay for the last time they played together.

“Aw, Sykkuno was serious” she mumbled with a smile, when his lime astronaut started circling her white one, so she would follow him. “Okay, let’s do some tasks.”

They both made their way towards the medbay, Sykkuno patiently waiting nearby as she did the scan, then Y/N waiting for him to do the same. The moment his little character stepped towards her, a meeting was called by none other than Felix.

“What happened?” Rae asked.

“I called the meeting because I’m afraid of Jack” he responded, causing everyone to laugh. “Seriously though! Dude’s been following me around the whole time.”

“I was just making sure nobody kills you.”

“Yeah don’t go all Sykkuno on me!” Felix screamed, making the call erupt into even more laughter.

“Alright, are we skipping?”

“Yeah.”

“Guys, my life is in danger!” Felix wouldn’t give up. “Come on, show some support! Y/N? You played with him, you know his techniques!”

“Sorry Felix” Y/N giggled, clicking the skip button.

When the next round began, Sykkuno was quick to join Y/N on her way towards admin, where they both found Poki doing the upload. They did the card swipe and left her there, when the lights suddenly went off.

“Uh-oh. Let’s head the opposite direction, Sykkuno” the girl murmured, dancing around his character and heading towards Comms instead of going to Electrical. It was the easiest way to die, after all.

Once they entered the room and waited for someone to fix the lights, Y/N could see another figure appear in the same location. She couldn’t recognize whose character it was, but upon seeing the horns on the helmet she smiled to herself.

“Hey there, Corpse” she said, walking up to the black astronaut, who was standing still in the same place as if he was just watching her and Sykkuno run around Comms instead of doing their tasks.

They stood like that for a couple of seconds until Corpse turned around and ran away, and that’s when the first body was reported.

“Oh no, Jack!”

“Poor guy. He’s gonna haunt us now.”

“Where’s the body?”

“Navigation” replied Rae, who was the one to find Sean’s green astronauts’ body “Didn’t see anyone around, but I’m pretty sure someone just vented right in front of my eyes...”

“Any suspicions?” Toast asked.

“Um, not really sure, it was the exact same moment the lights went off. I was doing tasks with Jack and then he just died. I only saw the vent close, nothing or no one else.”

“Okay, where are you guys right now?”

“I’m in admin with Dave, we only passed Poki when we got there.” Lily’s voice sounded out, quickly being joined by Poki’s explanation.

“Yeah, I was finishing the upload when you guys came in, Y/N and Sykkuno saw it”

“Did you see her?” Toast asked, addressing his question towards the white and lime astronauts.

“Yes, we were doing the card swipe before going to Comms. Corpse joined us for a moment and then left.”

“Yeah, I was on my way to fix the lights when I stumbled upon them in Comms, the body was reported the exact moment I left.”

“Can someone confirm this? I mean, did someone see you besides the two of them?” Toast continued his questioning.

“I think I only saw Felix in Medbay.”

“Hmm, so no one really knows where you were this whole time. You could easily lure Jack into Navigation and kill him there. Is that what you did, Corpse?”

“Woah, that’s some serious accusation” Corpse replied in his usual, low and calm voice. “Where were you Toast? You seem the only one who still doesn’t have an alibi”

“Neither does Felix.” Y/N spoke innocently, and the mentioned man quickly started his explanation.

“Okay, I was with Jack at the beginning but he clearly can’t confirm this since someone snapped his fucking neck. We’ve split up in O2 after doing our tasks and then he must’ve gone with Rae. I just wandered around the map, escaping from the death.”

“Hmm, so not only were you one of the last people to see him alive, but you also admit to not doing your tasks” Y/N said, trying her best to keep her voice steady and stop herself from laughing. She was sure Sykkuno was doing the same thing, they both refused to do any tasks after the lights went off, after all.

“Yeah, but does that already makes me an Imposter? I’m just scared for my life, that’s all.”

“Y/N has some good logic, but I’m not really sure it’s Pewds. I mean, I saw him in Medbay and he really seemed to be just jogging around.” Corpse said, his voice almost immediately doing its magic, as people more or less willingly agreed to skip this round as well.

“I think it’s Felix. I mean, I haven’t played with him yet, but I have this feeling that he’s just acting.” Y/N said to her chat after muting herself. She went towards Weapons to do another task, seeing Sykkuno’s little character follow her once again, but the doors were suddenly locked and his lime astronaut remained in Cafeteria. “Oh no, Sykkuno” she sighed with a pout on her face, deciding against waiting for him and risking getting her neck snapped. She finished her task in Weapons and moved towards another location, when suddenly Corpse appeared in front of her, coming right out of nowhere.

“Oh- Corpse, you scared me to death” Y/N breathed a laugh, watching as his character stood still for a couple of seconds, before circling around her white astronaut. Y/N nodded her head with a smile, even though he couldn’t see her, and followed him in Shields, where they found Poki’s dead body.

“The body is in Shields” Y/N replied right after reporting the body, only to gasp in shock when she realized more than one person was killed. Red crosses decorated not only Poki’s name but were also visible next to Dave and Lily.

“What the hell?!” Felix all but yelled into his mic, obviously shocked just like everyone else who was still alive.

“Now that’s... a lot of bodies” Sykkuno mumbled under his breath.

“Alright, who’s in Shields? Y/N, you said you found the body there, which one?”

“Poki’s, Corpse was there with me” her reply was followed by his short and low hum.

“Sykkuno, where are you? I didn’t see you anywhere since the last round.” Felix asked, clearly accusing the lime astronaut of being a murderer.

“I was... doing the wires in electrical, Toast was there for a moment as well.”

“Yeah but I was only searching for the body, so I saw you maybe for a second” Toast replied, building even more suspicions around Sykkuno.

“But- guys, you know I wouldn’t kill two people in one round, let alone four of them.”

“No one says you did that, I only mentioned that you were nowhere to be seen. You could’ve been sabotaging the map for the other Impostor” Felix said nonchalantly.

“Guys, I-”

“It’s him! It must be him!” Rae shouted through her mic.

“Sykkuno is 100% innocent, I can vouch for him” Y/N’s voice sounded out in everyone’s headphones “We were together since the start of the game and he didn’t kill me, even though he had quite a number of chances to do so.”

“Weren’t you with Corpse this time?” Felix asked suspiciously.

“I was! But at the beginning, I was with Sykkuno, until someone locked him in Cafeteria. That’s when we split up.”

“And you haven’t seen him ever since?”

“Well, no, but-”

“Then I can assure you it was only a matter of time before he’d stab you in the back” Toast concluded, making Sykkuno gasp in confusion.

“Wha- No, I would never do that! Y/N is our guest, I was just making sure she was okay!”

“Sykkuno, simping won’t save your life right now”

“Wha- I- Guys!” he tried to stutter out some logical explanation “Y/N, don’t believe them!”

“I don’t, I know you’re innocent! C’mon guys, he wouldn’t do it!”

“Yeah yeah, let’s kick him out. Corpse, who are you voting?” Toast asked, and Y/N could see the I voted sign next to his character.

“I kinda feel like Felix tries to shift the blame onto Sykkuno. He didn’t even tell his location, and was already throwing accusations on someone else.” Corpse replied after a moment, making the smile widen on Y/N’s face. Someone was finally on her side!

“That’s because he can’t even explain himself!” Felix exclaimed, voting as well.

“Besides, I’m pretty sure if it wasn’t for whoever locked that door, Y/N would be dead as well!”

“No, I told you I-!”

“Guys, we have ten seconds to vote. Rae?”

“I think it’s him as well. He was acting suspiciously since we started this round. I vote Sykkuno”

“But..!”

“No, Sykkuno...” Y/N whispered with a pout on her lips, when she saw the number of people who voted for her lime friend.

Sykkuno was ejected.

“Alright, I’m pretty sure it’s Felix. I saw Rae multiple times and she didn’t kill me, Toast also doesn’t act very Impostor like, but maybe that’s just one of his strategies... Corpse is with me again, I don’t think that’s him, I mean, he followed me around last round, but still didn’t do anything, and even vouched for me and Sykkuno when we were both clearly chilling in comms. It can’t be him... right?”

Dead body reported.

“I just saw Corpse kill Toast, then vent!” Rae’s voice blared through Y/N’s headphones, as she looked in shock at the red cross next to Toast’s name. If not him, then..?

“What?” the accused man asked calmly “That’s a self-report, she’s trying to frame me. You guys can’t possibly believe her.”

“I believe her. I saw you enter the Electrical with Toast, then he’s suddenly dead” Felix said.

“That’s because she vented in there and killed him.”

“No! I swear, Y/N/N you have to believe me!” she directed her words towards the girl who remained silent during their discussion, processing her accusations over and over in her head. “I was fixing the wires, Toast was doing another task, and then boom! I see Corpse snapping his neck!”

“How could you see that if the lights were off?” Y/N suddenly asked, making Rae cut her own sentence off “No one went to fix them, they were off the entire round.”

Silence.

“It’s Rae, it must be her” Corpse couldn’t help but laugh wholeheartedly at how small was the mistake which completely blew Rae’s cover. “We’re voting Rae, right Y/N?”

“No! Guys, I mean, let me explain, I-!”

Rae was ejected.

“Now that was something I didn’t expect. I would’ve never thought it was her, I even suspected that Sykkuno might really have been the other Impostor, but now... It’s just me, Corpse, and Felix. I’m clear, clearly, so it must be one of them. And since Corpse protected me for the past few rounds, there’s no other option than...”

Her eyes suddenly widened when the realization hit her, and she quickly turned around to speed towards the emergency button. Fortunately, no one was around to stop her from calling the meeting.

“Felix.” Y/N started, trying to contain her excitement and sound seriously “Where were you when Sean was killed?”

Neither Corpse of Felix said a word, as it was probably the last question they expected her to ask. Felix cleared his throat, however, and finally replied:

“Y/N, that was literally the beginning of a game. How am I supposed to remember what I did then?”

“Well” she said nonchalantly “I, for example, clearly remember the things you said even when we were in the lobby.”

“What are you implying?”

“Wasn’t it you, who told everyone that Sean was your number one if you get Impostor?” she asked with a wicked smile on her face. Felix was dumbfounded, he obviously didn’t expect her to pull that card on him, hell, he didn’t even know how she knew about it since she wasn’t even in the call at the time.

“FELIX” Corpse suddenly broke the silence, simultaneously breaking the said man from his train of thoughts.

“Okay, first of all- YOU WEREN’T EVEN IN THE CALL WHEN I SAID THAT” he yelled through his mic, making both Y/N and Corpse laugh, as it only confirmed their suspicions.

“See? You only proved my point.”

“Oh, fuck’s sake- I was just joking okay?!” he tried to defend himself, but hearing how he couldn’t even contain his own laughter anymore, it was clear he already accepted the defeat. “It wasn’t serious, god damn it!”

“You know what to do, Y/N” Corpse’s voice asked through her headphones, and surely, she knew exactly what to do.

“C’mon Y/N, that’s not fair! At least let me explain myself!”

“Bye Felix” she said in an overly dramatic tone before Corpse voted as well.

Soon enough, the sign VICTORY could be seen on her screen, which made her squeak and joy. This game was really fun, even though she was so scared of being killed first.

“I knew it! I knew you would figure out it’s him! That son of a bitch who murdered me!” Jack basically yelled out, clearly very happy about the result.

“Y/N, seriously now, how did you know I’ve said that?” Felix asked without even hiding his surprised tone.

“Let’s just say I might’ve stolen some of your viewers, Felix” she admitted, winking at her webcam, a new wave of comments landing on her chat. “Thanks guys!”

“Okay, that is rude and not fair!”

“It helped me win, so I’ve got nothing else to say” Y/N grinned from ear to ear, before muting herself for a moment to finally answer some of the questions from her chat, while the rest took a quick break to eat something or go to the bathroom.

She was halfway through telling the story of how she met Sean when she noticed she got a message from a private discord chat.

CORPSE: That was really impressive :)

Y/N smiled to herself upon seeing his text and quickly typed out the answer.

Y/N: Thanks!! I wouldn’t have done that without you though, you stood up for me and Sykkuno and all

Y/N: Also, thanks for protecting me from being murdered ^^

CORPSE: No problem, I knew you were innocent right away.

CORPSE: Anyway, good game, Sean was right saying that you’re one of the best players

She couldn’t help the blush that arose on her cheeks, it was very sweet of him to say that, even though she didn’t actually do much except for exposing Felix.

Y/N: I wasn’t an Impostor though, so you didn’t really see much :)

She watched the three dots beside his name, that signaled he was still texting. The chat was completely forgotten, but people seemed to quickly notice that small, shy smile on her lips, and the pink tint decoring her cheeks.

CORPSE: Okay, now I’m intrigued...

Y/N: Maybe we’ll both be Impostors one day ^^

CORPSE: Can’t wait for that to happen.

Soon enough, they returned to the lobby to begin another game. Y/N glanced at her chat for a second, and the moment she returned her eyes to the game, her jaw basically dropped.

IMPOSTOR was written in bold letters in the middle of the red screen, right above her name.

Corpse’s little character was standing beside her.

#corpse husband #corpse husband imagines #corpse x reader #corpse husband x reader #corpse imagines #youtubers x reader #fanfiction #writing #imagine

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alchemiclee · 2 years ago

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ayaka, plastic figure fix/repaint!

I decided I wanted to get into 3d figure painting because I have a huge urge to paint figures. I bought a resin printer and all the stuff that goes with 3d printing. I even joined a patreon/discord to get files for figures.

in the discord, someone posted their blog story of their process for repainting some cheap plastic figures. they advised it's a good way to practice when you first start out painting because these figures are cheaper than resin printing. I liked the ayaka figure they got, so I went to aliexpress to find one for myself.

if you're interested in their blog post, you can find it here. they go into more details than I do in some parts, if you're interested in that! (and more pictures since tumblr has a limit)

read my adventure below⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇

she came in the mail with a few broken pieces, but nothing a little super glue probably won't fix. (at the time of writing this, i'm realizing I forgot to purchase glue...) generally she's pretty decent for a cheap plastic bootleg of this impossible-to-get garage kit figure:

the painting inconsistencies are where I come in to get my practice. the broken pieces can be fixed later.

her bangs in the front are top long and cover her eyes so i'll have to figure out how to cut those. the hole for the umbrella is way too small, so I need to figure out how to fix that. but I will focus on painting first.

her eyes are the best painted part. I won't have to mess with those luckily haha. she is clearly supposed to have socks/tights on from the way the model is made and based on the original figure design. I need to paint the leggies! there's a few very small details on her clothes that need some extra added paint. there's some details missing like the little flowers which I will try to add. lastly, the umbrella is a plain blue blob. I plan to add some color and paint flowers onto it before I glue the broke rod back on.

first things she needs to be dismembered! plastic figures aren't the hardest to take apart, but is still a struggle, at least for me it was. in the blog post I shared above, the person used a welding heat tool to get her apart. I don't have anything like that, so I used hot water for the smaller parts (hair, ribbons, vision) and a hair dryer for the legs. you need to soften the plastic/melt the glue to pop things free! I held hair dryer on her butt against the connection point of the legs for 30-60 seconds on highest heat and lowest power, then wiggled the leggies until it cooled down. repeat a few more times until I could twist them and pop them free. unfortunately, the shoe wouldn't come off with either method, so I ended up having to cut it off with a knife. as long as I line it up and glue it on straight, it should be fine. hopefully 😅 the leggies were really stubborn, but with careful heating (while trying not to bend any of the super thin pieces, like the skirt. which also got heated up in the process) I managed to gently twist them off eventually.

the leggies!! they're free!!!!!

now she's ready for painting!

i did the first coat of paint on the legs and a few of the details on a twitch stream to try to test out a painting setup for future painting of figures, as well as test if my VOD tracking I tried to set up worked.....both kind of went wrong 😅 I also broke a few things along the way.

I tried to set up using a tripod with my DSLR camera for high quality video stream. I downloaded a thing enabling me to use it as a webcam. my large tripod was too big to fit in my tiny desk area, so I switched to a smaller tabletop one. somehow, the screw to that tripod broke off in my camera as I was screwing it on.....I have no clue how to remove it. I can no longer use a tripod 😭 I had to set my camera on my desk and have a side angle that made it hard to see anything I was doing on stream. I also had to keep my hands in one place when I like to move them around as I work. it was quite uncomfortable, haha.

the lighting I had set up was too bright, but it was my only option. it's a photography light box with its own built in lighting—very white and very bright. I folded the box so all the flaps were folded in except the one with the lights on it. I had that one sticking straight up at the back and placed a plastic cover over the folded part to paint on. it helped stream see and i could adjust the setting on my camera to keep it from being overexposed, but since my eyes don't have camera settings, I couldn't even tell where I was putting white paint because it was washing it out too much. when I inspected it in another light away from the overpowering white one, I realized I had more paint on it than I thought.

it wasn't the best setup, but it wasn't the worst. I added some silly little things on screen to make it more fun 😆

I managed to finish the first leg coat, do the little hair wrap things (not sure what their called. the white and gold things) and a couple small details on her clothing (fixed some of the gold lines for example because they weren't fully finished)

unfortunately, my VOD tracking didn't work so my video got dmca flagged and twitch decided it shouldn't be published so I decided to just delete it. my stream died after the first 20 minutes survived because my stream died and none of the music in that got flagged, but I didn't actually paint anything within that time because I was trying to make sure my setup was working decently. the painting lasted around 2 hours I believe. then my camera died!

I have decided not to stream the rest of her painting and do it in my spare time. I will work on fixing the VOD tracking. the camera setup is too much of a hassle and I can't charge it while it's in use. I didn't know what else to try until I found (and ordered) a cool overhead mini lamp that also holds your phone so I can basically have a movable desk light and/or use my phone as a webcam for streaming or record video for a time-lapse at the same time! so look forward to that!

between that first painting attempt and the next session, I got another figure in the mail. this one is a mini resin figure and I will have a separate post for her! (link soon)

back to painting ayaka.

my cool desk lamp came in the mail! you can find it here (not sponsored/affiliated! just like the cool lamp. i got the MINI version because small work area) i played with my streaming stuff and turns out they added an easier way to vod track the way i want, either before or after my failed attempt, i'm not sure. i found a way to stream my phone camera to my streamlabs! things are easy to set up for figure painting streams!

I added some details to her clothes and cleaned up some small spots. I added flowers and other small details to kind of match her original outfit. for some reason I decided to add some makeup to her. her mouth looked a little funny so I added some lip gloss and try to make her smile a little more. not sure if that came out well or not 😅 to finish, I did a thin layer of some blue in her hair to give the solid blobs of plastic some subtle variation and also slapped on some sparkly metallic paint to brighten it up a little.

the umbrella was way top plain, so I painted the under side pink and tried my best to paint cherry blossoms on top. i've never been top great at draeimg or painting flowers, so they're a little odd, but it's good enough.

I don't really care for the flowers that came with it, so I planned to add some mini fake flowers. in the end I decided to just use them as well instead of throwing them away, since I needed something to keep the fake flowers more stable. they are a decent filler. the fake paper flowers add a bit more to it, making it feel more full. I have more flowers coming in the mail, so I may add a but more.

I gave up on the plastic base she sits on that goes on the top of the glass. I couldn't get it to stay in place or stick to glue, so she's just sitting inside the glass now, directly on top the flowers, which actually makes her more stable!

I didn't go too adventurous for my first practice paint, but she's better than she was, and I learned a bit from this that I can now apply to 3d prints!

and she's now complete and ready to go live on my shelf!

#arts #my art #this counts are art right? haha #genshin impact #genshin #ayaka #kamisato ayaka #genshin art #i hate that there's a 10 image limit!!! i wanted to show more!#i need to find places to put figures....this will be a challenge haha.....i have so many planned to print and paint....#im not aure if im good at writing on-going blog posts step by step but it was kinda fun #probably wont do this for 3d figures because i want to stream or record them to male speed paint videos

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magentabones · 4 years ago

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dni if you have a phone, youve never played dnd, you dont have at least one ridiculously coloured article of clothing, you like working with acrylic paint, youve never shouted along to bohemian rhapsody, you like the bingus meme, youve never tried to watch a video about open heart surgery but got caught by your parents and subsequently banned from watching youtube, you have a zoom account, you walk up escalators while they are moving, youve never had a breakdown to mitski, youve never spoiled the ending of something, you arent a part of the ongoing onceler rtgame arg, you own a sports funko pop, you liked mulan 2020, you own airpods or any variation of wireless earbuds, you dont have at least 5 discord rp servers with the exact same people in all of them, you wear black nail polish, you’ve never taken a wood shop class, you base your online identity around being a ‘shipper’, your mii is accurate, youve never drawn on yourself, you own a webcam, you leave your camera on during zoom calls, you werent here for november 5th, you repost tumblr screenshots into instagram, you have a carrd, you dont list your pronouns in your bio, youve never seen the down with cis bus post, you dont like rickrolls, you hate the name kyle, you do not own giant wall hanging cutlery, youve read the bible, you only sleep with one blanket, you havent watched at least one of the superwholock trio, youve never heard of callmekevin, you dont like the catboy spork discourse, you get mad about failing photography despite refusing to fix your lighting, if you have a strong opinion about the amount of ears a catboy has, you brag about the amount of years you havent cried for, you dont like team rocket and you hate puns

#/lh

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renlimotroll · 5 years ago

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Death by a Thousand Cuts

Pairing: Mintosu × Siruko (side), one-sided Limone-sensei x Siruko (main)

Summary: It's not the butterflies that tell Sensei that he's in love. It was the death by a thousand cuts.

Tags: angst, heavy angst!!!, endgame MinSiru wedding, long fic, unrequited love

Warning: BL, Cursing, Imagination, but I like to keep my characterization 80% canon.

Ren's notes:

Before you read this, I want to say that this is Sensei’s POV, so the MinSiru moments will come across as sad and painful. I love Siruko-san, Mintosu-san and Limone-Sensei equally, and this is only just a story, okay? Please come into the story with an open mind and finish it with no attachments. Also, ready your heart.

I woke up at 3am and started writing this because all my best thoughts come at 3am. I was supposed to write cutesy, romantic Christmas stories, but when inspiration hits, it hits. This story is 100% MinSiru because no matter how pseudo-canon LimoSiru is, it's not what people want (wow, bitter Ren is bitter).

This story might be controversial, so I spent a week debating whether to publish it or not, but after all the hard work and me trying to be poetic, it would be a waste to keep it in my folders.

I'd like to thank Taylor Swift for possessing me with her poetic ghost. I listened to "The Moment I Knew", a song about her bf not coming to her birthday party, and was filled with so much angst because it hit home too much.

Please enjoy and don't blame me for your holiday blues!!

This story didn't have a happy ending.

Because the moment Limone-sensei realized he had fallen in love, he knew he was screwed big time. And it won't end well for him.

But that was okay, because all he wanted was for this person's happiness. This person deserved it more than anyone else in the world, and Limone-sensei will do everything in his power to make sure he gets it.

He being Siruko-san.

He didn’t like them, at first. Limone was a possessive, jealous friend, and when he learned Hana-chan met new gaming friends, his first instinct was to shoot them. But how could anyone not love Siruko-san? He had a beautiful soul, a kindness rare to the human race. Siruko-san was the kind of person who could bring a group of people of different personalities together and make them all get along well. It was really easy to fall for someone like him, and no matter how hard Sensei tried not to, it just happened.

After that, it was death by a thousand cuts.

The first cut came out when they were shooting a video. He always looked forward to the four of them shooting, because that meant he could see Siruko-san. But something about the Bintroll leader was off, had been off for days actually. Sensei knew because Sensei watches all his live streams when he can, and he was observant. It made Sensei’s heart weak, but because they weren't that close and they didn't have the same level of friendship Siruko had with Mintosu-san, Sensei couldn't just LINE him and say, "Hey, is something wrong with you?" But something happens with the Minecraft trap he was making for Hana-chan, and his first thought was, I can use this as an excuse. So he calls Siruko-san and all is saved, and after that they start to communicate more, outside the games they play for Hana-chan's channel.

Sensei's plan to get closer to Siruko-san fails, because the more time he spends chatting with him, the more he gets to know Siruko-san, the more he falls in love. They text almost everyday; they VC on nights they both couldn't sleep, on days something good happens and they both wanted someone to share it with. And then Sensei realizes something that'll break his heart forever.

One day, after Hana-chan wrapped up the first Atsumori video of them, and Sensei and Siruko moved to private messaging on Discord and continue to chat and talk like they always do after each shoot (sometimes about editing and most times about nothing), Sensei thought it was time.

"Siruko-san."

"Hm?" The purple head answered absent-mindedly. Because they're on a video call, like they've done most times now actually, Sensei could see his beautiful purple eyes fixed on something in his monitor. He's reading the comments on the latest Bintroll video, and Sensei always finds it endearing that he's always liking all the comments. Sensei does read his comments too, but he thinks it's too troublesome to like all of it. It's just not his style.

Sensei decided it's now-or-never. "You like Mintosu-san, don't you?"

Siruko stopped scrolling, eyes shifting to the webcam. Sensei kept a straight face, fakes being detached and indifferent to the reply, but it's something he already knew. He's seen it in the way Siruko-san almost always talks about Mintosu-san when they voice call, in the way that he's always so soft and patient for Mintosu-san. Sensei saw Siruko scrambling for an answer in a panic and took that as a confirmation, even as Siruko-san started to deny it.

"W-what's gotten into you Sense--? O-of course not!! I-what made you say that? Mouuu, is this a prank?? Stop joking with me Sense-- hidoi yo!"

Sensei rolled his eyes for effect, but his chest is heavy with something he can't explain. "You're a fucking idiot. Just spit it out, okay? I know it. Don’t make a fool of me."

"I really dont!" Siruko vehemently opposed it. A moment later, he gave up and sighed in defeat, because Sensei always saw right through him. "I-is it obvious?"

Very, Sensei thought, but instead he went with, "I don't think Mintosu-san knows. That guy is as dense as the air itself."

They fell into silence, and Limone-sensei was very sure right now that Siruko was thinking of the green robot. His heart told him, “No, don't say it, don't do it Limone!!”, but since when has he listened to his heart? So he said to Siruko-san, "You should confess."

"E-EHHHH?!?!"

"Tell him what you feel, Siruko-san."

"I-uhhh… Minben-san is not…. And I c-can't… uuummmmm…."

"Oh for fucks sake! Stop being a fucking coward, okay? If Mintosu-san accepts your feelings, then good. If he rejects you, then you'll learn how to move on. But I won't let you just keep this to yourself." Limone face-palmed himself internally, thinking hard about how he’s such a fucking liar and a hypocrite. The wide, scared puppy eyes Siruko-san is showing melted his heart. It's his weakness. But Sensei never gave in to any of his weaknesses. "I've watched all your videos and we've been friends for a long enough time for me to be sure that you love him, Siruko-san."

"But… but what if Minben-san..." Siruko whispered with this lost, desperate voice, and Sensei gritted his teeth to keep himself from falling apart. He had to do the right thing, even if it meant ruining himself.

"You'll never know if you never try. That's why you need to do something about this, instead of carrying it in your heart all the time. At the very least, it'll give you answers." Siruko looked so unsure, and Sensei knew he's thinking that Minben-san will never like him, that he's thinking bad thoughts about himself, and Sensei won't let Siruko belittle himself again. "Stop overthinking this! It's all in your mind. I said it, didn't I? You'll never know if you never try. Don't make me call Mintosu-san myself and tell him your feelings."

"A-ah!! Okay okay!! I'll… think about it?"

"Fine. I guess that's good enough."

Siruko smiled that sweet, precious smile of his, and usually it warmed Sensei's heart, but today it brought a thousand cuts. "Thank you Sensei."

"Whatever. Now hurry up and finish liking those comments so we can go to sleep."

"But you can sleep! I told you you didn't have to stay up for me!"

"And since when have I ever listened to you?"

"All the time." Siruko muttered, but Sensei heard it, so he faked being insulted with a "HA?!?!" and Siruko laughed (and Sensei loved that laugh), "Nothing, nothing!! Of course you'll do what you want, Sensei, you're badass like that."

"Damn right."

And a week later, Siruko texted him "Sensei, I did it!! Minben-san is my boyfriend now aaaaa!! Thanks so much Senseiiii!! (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄"

And Sensei replied "Good for you. Congrats." then went back to bed. Stared at the ceiling for long goddamn hours. He tweeted to his followers that he didn’t feel good so no video today, and turned off his phone.

And it felt like there was a big black hole in his chest. He didn’t get up to eat, he just stared at the ceiling, hating himself for being such a goddamn coward. He finally knew what it felt to be pierced through the chest like those characters in DbD, only his bleeding wasn’t physical, just metaphorical. The pain was real though. So real it cut him open and every breath was hard to get.

The next day, he moved on. Or at least, he pretended he did. One day of moping was enough. He replied "I'm fine" to everyone who texted him even when he's not. He had to be fine.

It's just death by a thousand cuts after all.

The next time it happened, Sensei had just finished playing a horror game and he felt accomplished. He was about to reward himself with a cookie even though he doesn't really like sweets, when the notification sound for a video call rings. He answered it automatically and he's greeted by a crying mess, and his heart dropped in response.

"Siruko-san?"

He didn't get an answer. Limone tried to make him calm down and breathe, and thankfully Siruko-san listened to him. The poor guy hiccuped and sniffed, and Sensei was already plotting Mintosu's death. He'll make it look like an accident too. One can’t play video games in prison after all.

"*sniff*... we had.. a fight, tente-… He got angry coz he said I was smothering him. I swear I didn't mean to nag, Sensei! I was just worried coz you know!..... Minben-san doesn't keep normal sleeping hours… well, I don't too so I don’t have the right.. but I was just worried, Chenche-!!"

Sensei pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. Okay, so maybe he won't kill Mintosu, but he deserves a punch. Maybe two. In times like this Limone wished he could run to Tochigi and comfort Siruko in person. He'd been there once for a business-related meeting, and instead of staying in a hotel, Siruko offered their home. It was a nice trip, and he got to meet Siruko's lovely folks and brother. It made him guilty but also fulfilled for some reason, that he was able to stay in Siruko's house and spend time with him. It was something his internet relationship with Mintosu hasn't had yet at that time.

Forcing himself back to the present, Limone took off his glasses and wiped it with his shirt. Ever since he urged Siruko-san to confess, he became somewhat a confidante to their relationship. Siruko would sometimes share the good stuff but also vent out his frustrations. The positive point of this is that Sensei got to talk to Siruko-san, but it low-key stings as well.

"Siruko-san. You know what you were getting into when you started this relationship. Heck, you know Mintosu-san so well, so you should have known that he loves his freedom. I'm not saying you're wrong for worrying, but Mintosu-san is… well, Mintosu-san after all. I'm sure he can take care of himself."

"I know that." Siruko sulked and pouted and sniffed again. He really should blow his nose. Sensei resisted the urge to wipe his tears from the monitor by clenching his hand under the table.

"Sometimes… sometimes I feel that he's not my boyfriend."

Sensei couldn't help it, but this ugly, dangerous thing called hope arises from the pits of his locked-up emotions that he squishes down every single time. He's only human after all. Limone forced himself to remember who it was that made Siruko-san laugh, who it was that Siruko-san always worried about, who it was that Siruko-san loved, and gods Sensei wished it was him, but it's not.

In his wallowing he didn't realize Siruko-san was still talking, "...and he doesn't even text me good night, and I'm not asking for so much romantic stuff, but would it kill him to at least say he loves me too?"

Siruko stopped, waiting for a reply that Sensei forced through the shards of glasses in his throat. He killed the thought that sprung in his mind, "I'll tell you I love you everyday if you were mine.", and instead he settled for, "No, it wouldn't kill him."

Sensei continued because he doesn’t hate Mintosu-san. The guy's a good guy, and he can see why Siruko fell for him. Even his annoying sides are endearing. Sensei wanted to defend his side that Siruko-san might have missed.

"But Siruko-san, you knew he wasn't the romantic, hearts-and-roses type of guy, and you fell for him anyway. Don't you think it's a bit unfair of you to expect him to suddenly be a sweet-honey-words kind of guy? If you really wanted things like that, talk to him about it. Guide him through it, coz for all that idiot's bountiful of APEX skills, he sucks when it comes to emotions. Talk to him properly, and maybe back off with the nagging a little bit."

Siruko considered his words and looked thoughtful, and Sensei swallowed the bile coming up his throat, half-wishing they’d break up even though he just helped fix the misunderstanding. Finally, after long minutes of silence, Siruko showed a hint of that really cute, embarrassed smile. "Thanks Sensei. You're really good with advice."

"Tell me something I don't know."

Siruko chuckled a little and Sensei was content with that, he told himself. Just that slight hint that he was able to make Siruko-san feel better was enough. He doesn't want more, he lied to himself. "I might start to call you love-sensei now www. How come you're so good with relationship advice but you don't have a girlfriend? Want me to set up someone for you?"

"Do it and I'll kill you. You're lucky I don't charge you consultation fees."

"Coz you love me~" Siruko sang playfully.

You have no idea, Sensei thought hard. "I'll fucking kill you, bakagayo! Now if you don't have anything else to say, I'm gonna go to sleep."

"It's just 12 midnight! Since when do you sleep so early?"

I actually won’t. I'll lie down and imagine ways I could treat you better than he can, then hate myself for thinking such evil, selfish thoughts. But Sensei replied instead, "I just played a horror game and I went out today, so I'm a bit tired." Sensei knew Siruko-san would feel guilty he disturbed Sensei, that's how well he knew Siruko-san by now, so he followed up immediately. "Shut up, don't apologize. I'd always make time for you, you know that." The teacher said quietly. "We're friends, aren't we?"

Siruko's pretty lips lifted up in one corner wistfully. "Yeah."

The conflict of Sensei liking that smile versus the painful confirmation that they'll only ever be friends clenched Sensei's heart tight. "Then, good night Siruko-san. Ja na, mata ne.”

"Bye bye. Thank you, Sensei."

Sensei lay awake the whole night, until dawn came and the golden rays of the sun filter through his windows. It's like this every time, and Sensei should have been used to it, but he's not. He let the pain wash over him, thinking he might not be a sadist like what people think, but instead he might actually be masochistic.

But he'll be alright. It was just death by a thousand cuts.

The third time, or he's not sure since it's been so long enough that he's not keeping count anymore, it was Siruko-san's birthday. He had just finished streaming Minecraft, and he put the Bintroll stream on background while he got something to drink. He didn't notice at first, but he knew something was wrong. Siruko-san was good at pretending, sometimes too good, so it's no surprise if the listeners didn't hear it, if even his own friends didn't know. But Sensei knew, heard that off-note, that slightly forced laugh, slightly louder, more exaggerated reaction. From the way Bintroll reacted too, they knew it, or at least have noticed it enough, but the show must go on. It's a livestream, and it's an unwritten rule among streamers that no one should break down during that. He knows that Siruko-san is happy, he really is, but something was missing. Or someone.

"Call me when you're done streaming." He typed on LINE, knowing Siruko-san is checking his phone. Not for his message of course. Never for his.

They finished the stream without reading the superchat donation, partly because Siruko-san was tired laughing and talking from the stream, but Sensei knew the other reason. He waits, but he also knew Siruko-san wouldn't call, because he doesn't like imposing on someone, troubling someone for something he thinks he can endure, even if it breaks his heart. He's too kind to do that, even if that was dumb. How many times has Sensei told him it was okay to rant to him, to call him when he's in trouble, or even when he's just bored? How many times has Siruko-san done it too, but each time Sensei has to reassure him that it was okay, he's not disturbing, that Sensei wants to listen to him. Siruko-san is truly dumb and masochistic, keeping everything to himself until he explodes with it, and there will be ugly messy crying and moping for days and drowning in alcohol and not leaving his bed. Sensei knew him too well. And if it was in Sensei's power to, if not protect him from things that can hurt him, then to pick him up when he's down, Sensei will do it, no questions asked.

Maybe Sensei is dumb and masochistic too, he realizes, as he dialed Siruko-san's number.

After 14 rings, during which Sensei is thinking of a hundred and one ways of killing Mintosu even if he has grown to also be close and endeared to the guy thanks to Siruko-san's efforts of getting the three of them to play together, Siruko finally picked up. He's silent, but Sensei knew he's there, and it just meant he wasn't in the mood to talk. Sensei could pick up the low sounds of sniffing and knew he was crying. Damn it. Sensei could take a million broken bones if it was just him, but just a hint of Siruko-san hurting and his knees lose strength.

"What happened." He demanded, but nothing. Silence answered him. Sensei waits and waits and waits. It always took so much coaxing, because no matter how friendly and sunny and cheerful Siruko-san always appears to be, he's an introvert who has insecurities deeper than the ocean and a long list of anxieties making it hard for him to open up sometimes. But Sensei is a patient man. He's already broken the walls Siruko built, passed through the mazes of Siruko's brilliant mind and fragile heart, and if Siruko-san makes more walls, Sensei won't ever be tired of breaking it down. Because beyond those walls is a precious, child-like heart that only wanted to be loved and accepted and happy, and it was very simple to give those things to him. Sensei knew he could give it.

"Minben-san."

"What."

"He…" Sensei sees it without really seeing it. The opening of the waterworks, tears flowing down. "He promised.. he'd come."

And Sensei understood immediately. Goddamnit, that fucking idiot. He could picture Siruko waiting, checking his phone from time to time, waiting for a Discord notification. Smiling and laughing as people wish him happy birthday, and it makes him happy, it really does, but it's different.

"Sensei.. you're really smart, right? You're love-sensei, right? So can you tell me…" Siruko sobbed, breaking Sensei's heart to a million pieces. "...what do you do.. when the one who means the most to you… is the one who didn't show?"

Sensei held his breath. Horror games he can do. Minecraft he can do. This? He doesnt fucking know how to fix this.

"Sensei… thank you by the way… you… you gave me superchat even in the middle of you streaming…You always do that, and it’s really thoughtful... that was really nice… thank you."

And Siruko dropped the call. Sensei clenched his fist, wanting to punch something. It was 4am, but he moved into motion almost without thought. Bought a train ticket to Tochigi and boarded the first train as soon as the station opened, carrying nothing but his wallet and phone and earpods. It took about two hours, and he stared as the view changed from high-rise skyscrapers to something a little more green, a little more rural. He took a cab to the address he knew so well; he's been here so many times that he's already a familiar face.

"Sensei..?" Hakotaro-san opened the door, surprised, but also relieved. He let him in without so much ado, even though it was too early. Sensei realized it's a Sunday, and it's still breakfast time. It's a weird time to come over a house, but maybe Hakotaro-san has an idea of why he came. He said "ojamashimasu” and took off his shoes.

Papataro and Mamataro were surprised to see him, but they welcomed him with warm smiles, asked him how he'd been, took him to the dining table and forced him to eat breakfast with them. Sensei really likes them--this house, their family--and it makes him miss his own back in Hokkaido. He apologized for coming unannounced and gave them the big cake he bought in haste because it's rude to come to a house without a gift, and they waved him off, telling him it's alright, although Siruko-chan's still in his room, probably still asleep. It's not a surprise to Sensei because he knows Siruko-san doesn't eat breakfast. He chatted with them and felt warm, because they treat him like he's a part of the family too, and Sensei knows where Siruko-san got his kindness from. Siruko and Hakotaro got their looks from their father, but they both got their mother's sweet smile.

He waited in the living room and scratched Baron absently as Hakotaro-san came up to his Niisan's room, and Sensei chuckled when he heard Siruko's loud, panicked shriek. Sensei liked cats more than dogs, but Baron is a good good boy. He's a bit older now so he's calmer and more domestic than most dogs, and Sensei loves his quiet company. Hakotaro-san came again and brought him snacks and a glass of water, and Baron followed his master and jumped on his lap like he's still a puppy even though he's bigger now. They sat in silence, because while they're friendly enough to have exchanged banter or two, Sensei's actually a bit more quieter and serious off the camera, off his online persona. The silence was actually nice, comfortable even, because it gave Sensei time to think and evaluate. Why the hell did he come here so impulsively?

"You would have been better for him, Sensei."

Sensei almost choked on his own spit, actually coughed a bit at that statement, shock covering his face. Hakotaro-san continued to brush Baron's fur as if he just announced the weather and not like he just delivered the finishing blow to Sensei's already pining heart.

"I--uh… what?"

"Don't get me wrong. I love Minben-san too, and I can see how he tries his best to make Niisan happy, and I'm supportive of them. But Minben-san…. He's too independent, too free. Niisan's better off with someone he can spoil but also someone who spoils him. Niisan likes to be needed, but also is needy himself. I know Minben-san is trying, and I know he loves Niisan with all his heart, but if it was you, Sensei, it would have been easier. Less clashing. You're both equals in a sense that Niisan can give and take, that… forgive my Kansai metaphor for the lack of better expression, Niisan can be boke but also tsukkomi. You balance each other in a way."

And the truth is, Sensei did think that too. It's not that Mintosu-san is a bad guy, but he's someone that was already happy and content by playing games, and complicated things like emotions and things like that is not his forte. He's been friends with the guy long enough to know who he actually is even off the camera. Mintosu did not strike him as someone who could be raw and open, which is something you need for a relationship to work. And Mintosu also seemed that kind of guy who would feel confined with the commitments of a relationship.

Mintosu-san is a great guy, a really good person, but he's not a natural lover. He's tough and doesn't mince his words and doesn't do the hearts-and-flowers and the feelings thing, and that's not wrong, but sometimes Sensei thinks he has a better relationship with his fans and listeners than with Siruko-san. He was always more considerate of them, kinder, gentler, and maybe it’s because that kind of human interaction is simpler and easier.

But that doesn't mean Mintosu didn't love Siruko. Heck, it's a testament to how much he loves Siruko-san because he always tries hard to be what he's not. Sensei knew that Mintosu-san tries his best to remember important events, to send gifts and take Siruko out on dates, to be more generous with his I love yous. Mintosu-san is good for Siruko-san; he knows Siruko-san full well and understands every part of him, and they can be a really good team when they try hard enough. They have this shared history that Sensei can't ever replicate. Sensei acknowledged, respected, and supported their relationship with all his being; heck, he's even the one that triggered it into happening.

And Sensei hated himself everyday for this, but he wished he was Mintosu. That if one thing had been different in this universe, he wished he could have been what Siruko's heart wanted. That he was the one who received Siruko's kind, loving smiles, who got to make love to him, who got to give him the happiness he very much deserved. Limone-sensei would have been so good to Siruko-san, would have given him the attention he craved and the reassurances he needed. He would have been strict to him because Siruko tended to forget everything when he's so addicted to a game, would have crashed his stream to scold him to eat, but he also would have given in to Siruko's whinings, because there's very little Sensei can deny Siruko-san. He already does all of these things, but only as a friend, never more than that. He would have given him the universe if Siruko-san asked for it.

But Sensei had no time to indulge this self-pity, because his universe came out of the room, covered head to toe with a soft, velvety brown blanket. His beautiful purple eyes were puffy from crying, and he looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep. Sensei wanted to bundle him up and just envelop him in his arms to protect him from anything that might hurt him, but in this universe, he didn't have the right to do that.

"What are you doing here?" Siruko-san pouted. Sensei wondered if he was disappointed that it wasn't his lover that came to surprise him. His voice was hoarse, either from streaming or crying, Sensei didn't know, but he hated it. Hated that he couldn’t take care of Siruko-san the way he wanted to, because in this universe, Siruko’s heart wants what it wants, and that was Mintosu-san.

"I brought you cake. Happy late birthday."

"I don't like sweet things though." Siruko-san sat between his brother and Sensei and casually placed his head on Sensei's shoulder, because they're close enough friends he could do that. Totally platonic, to Sensei's disappointment, but Sensei let him. That's one thing about Siruko-san, he's clingy and surprisingly craves touch. Sensei draped one arm over him and pats Siruko's shoulder, and he thought about where he finds this easy to do, Mintosu would have been repulsed yet forced to give this level of affection. He felt bad for Mintosu-san, but not that much, because at least Siruko's heart belonged to him.

Sensei rolled his eyes in response. "Yeah, like I didn't know that. It was lemon cake."

Siruko snorted playfully underneath the blanket. "Because it's from you?"

"What else?"

The three of them sat in silence for a while. It should have been weird but it wasn't, at least not to them. Sensei decided to break the silence and finally reveal what he came here for. His exhaustion suddenly washed over him--a few intermittent naps on the train wasn't enough--but he had to do this. He'll never let Siruko-san cry again, not if he can help it.

"Go take a bath and wear some nice clothes, bakatare. We're going somewhere."

Siruko sat up like a puppy who had been called to attention. "Where?"

"To Nara, to Mintosu-san's house."

He saw the hurt and betrayal and refusal in Siruko's eyes, but there was also this hope and desire that made Sensei feel what he's doing is right even though it's not what he wants to do at all. "I-it's okay Sensei," Siruko denied, "I-it's really okay and I… I'm used to this. Minben-san texted me that he forgot and got tired from streaming so he fell asleep, that's all. You don't have to do this and I… I'm fine."

Sensei stared at him hard and Siruko flinched. "There's no reason to go there, and besides, I'm sure he's busy, and--"

"Does there need to be a reason?!" Sensei suddenly raised his voice, and he stilled himself. Sometimes it's so hard to control his emotions, and he's so so angry but he can't be, because there was no black and white here. He can't blame Mintosu for unknowingly hurting Siruko because he had never been that kind of guy anyway, one who prepares romantic stuff to surprise his lover on his special day. It was an honest mistake on his part, and even that was just, so Mintosu. And he also can't blame Siruko-san for this, for expecting something more, because it was his right as a boyfriend, his right to get the simple happiness he wanted. Sensei took a deep breath to calm himself. Here were two people who loved each other but sucked at showing it, and if all they needed was a little push, a little nudge to the right direction, then Sensei was willing to make himself fall apart just so they could both be whole.

"You want to see him, don't you?" Sensei said in a hushed voice. He glanced at Hakotaro-san who didn't interfere and made a reaction, just watching them. "If you want to see him, that's good enough reason, Siruko-san. And when you see each other, you'll fight and be at each other's throat, but also make up and forgive, because you can't let this misunderstanding be unresolved. It'll be a festering wound, and I can only see this incident as something that'll come back and bite you in the future. I know both of you too well because you are my friends. I know you, Siruko-san, that you'll say you're fine now but you'll never forget this, and you'll bring this up against him every time you see the chance, because you were hurt and you'll want him to acknowledge it. And I know Mintosu-san, that he'll get sick of it because he can't tolerate your emotional needs, he'll push you away and turn the blame on you again like he always does, because he has always been a prideful person. And you're both idiots but you're both not wrong for being what you both are. So if I have to drag you to Mintosu-san's house by stuffing all 175cm of you in a suitcase, I swear I will, because you both need to talk."

Siruko freezed, processed everything that Sensei said, and stormed back to his room and shut his door with a loud bang, because for all their silly fighting, Siruko is too similar to Mintosu sometimes, both idiots who likes to bottle their emotions inside of them, and when confronted with it, will run away from it. Hakotaro-san hummed in consideration, making Sensei jump a little because he had honestly forgotten about him.

Sensei cleared his throat. "What?"

"You're right, of course, but I still stand by what I said. Their chemistry is too… explosive, and that can be a good or a bad thing. Their similarities make it stable, but both being water signs, one moment they can be as peaceful as a lake, then the next it's a raging tsunami. Them knowing each other so well works for them, because they have their own level of understanding no one can reach, but that also means they know each other's buttons and what ticks each other off, and they both use it against the other. I don't like that Niisan always has to apologize first and he just goes along with what Minben-san wants so they don't clash, but I also don't like Minben-san being forced to go out of his comfort zone to be this person Niisan needs him to be. Their love can be something so very beautiful, but it can also easily turn into something toxic.

On the other hand, while you and Niisan are very different from each other, it's complementary. What the other lacks, one makes up. People have this misconception that Niisan is outgoing, but he just finds it easier to make friends on the internet. So while you, Sensei, is extroverted, it complements Niisan being introverted. Niisan's patience can keep up with your need to try new things, and your ability to back down works with Niisan's need to be right all the time. You're fire and water and it shouldn't work but it can because you're both emotionally mature and flexible enough to balance each other out."

Sensei didn’t get scared easily, but now he did, because his palms are getting clammy and there might be actual goosebumps at his nape. Was… Hakotaro-san reading his mind? Did Hakotaro-san… know he's been harboring these feelings for his older brother all this time? He knew the younger one had always been observant and intelligent like his Niisan, but to this extent? Sensei resisted the urge to shiver.

"Why… are you telling me this?"

Hakotaro-san shrugged. "No reason. I know Minben-san and Niisan will get through this, especially with you always helping their relationship. I want what's best for my Niisan, but I also want what makes him happy. Give me a moment to talk some sense to him. He'll only go to Nara if you come with him, so, yoroshiku onegaishimasu." Hakotaro-san bowed slightly and Sensei was a second too late to return it, mind reeling from the analysis the blonde just revealed, and by the time he recovered, Hakotaro was already in his brother's room, and he's left alone with Baron and Pii-chan in the living room.

It took everything in Sensei to not get undone in that living room, to kill the rising hope in his heart that maybe, maybe he has a chance. Maybe he should just let this incident go, so that if their relationship sours, Sensei can swoop in and show Siruko-san how to be properly loved and treated. If they break up, Mintosu will be free of this emotion thing that shackles him and do what he loves the most, sometimes more than his own boyfriend, which is gaming, and that would be best for him. And Siruko, sweet, dearest Siruko, won't have to settle with the scraps of affection and attention Mintosu-san gives him, because Sensei can do it. Sensei can come to every one of his birthday stream and be touchy and affectionate and open, and he can love him more than this.

Gods, he wished he was a horrible enough person so he can be capable of ruining a relationship.

An hour passed, and Hakotaro-san told him his Niisan was calm now, so Sensei entered his room. Siruko, who looks like a burrito with that blanket bundling him, glared angrily at him, but without any heat. Sensei settled on his gaming chair.

"You're mean." And the buriko ojiisan actually stuck his tongue out at him, the nerve.

He's mean?! As if Mintosu didn't bully him every time. Tch. "So?"

"Do you even know how far Tochigi and Nara is? It's like 6 hours away by train."

"And if your dramatic ass didn't throw up a tantrum, we would have been in the train by now."

"See?? Meanie!!" Siruko accused, turning his back to Sensei. "I'm not sure I wanna talk to him. I don't even know what to say to him."

And Sensei thought, this is it. He could say that they didn't have to go, and let this misunderstanding pile up with their other issues until it blows in their face. But he glanced at their rare framed picture on Siruko's desk, with their wide smiles, Mintosu's arm draped over Siruko's shoulder while holding a peace sign and Siruko looking at Mintosu with such adoration in his eyes, and Sensei can’t.

"I'm sure you can think of something during that stupid 6 hour ride."

And Siruko looked back at him, gave him this soft, grateful smile and said okay, and Sensei tasted cotton balls in his mouth. If only Siruko knew how awful Sensei's thoughts were, he wouldn't be so trusting of him. Sensei's stomach is filled with gravel, and it makes his body heavy and sick with something medicine can’t cure. A martyr, that’s what he was, or a living thing but dead inside. Loving Siruko-san was the most exquisite form of self-destruction.

And in the train ride to Nara, where Siruko spent most of the time sleeping on Sensei's shoulder, Sensei should be feeling happy with this moment of just the two of them. But he didn’t.

It just felt like death by a thousand cuts.

And later, Mintosu, who did this stupid perfect impression of a fish out of the water with his surprise to see them in his apartment, jaw dropped and eyes wide, let them in. Siruko was silent and kept biting his lips, and Mintosu was genuinely confused, and Sensei would like to punch them both and go home. So Sensei acts like a mediator, almost like a marriage counselor, and at first Mintosu and Siruko refuse to let their emotions out, but Sensei shouts at them that he didn't come all the way from Tokyo for this bullshit, so they let their frustrations out and shout at each other, and Mintosu almost storms out in anger but Sensei doesn't let him, and Siruko cries this angry tears but Sensei forces him to calm down, and they both manipulate each other's emotions and are both stubborn and vindictive, but in the end they come to an agreement to be more understanding and more open with their feelings and with a promise to always talk and communicate, and they make up. Sensei faked forgetting to make an important phone call and stepped outside to give them some privacy, because the last thing he needed was to see them kiss in front of him.

At midnight they went out and ate the best ramen in town and it was really delicious, and they traded jokes and laughed and talked about their favorite things. Sensei slept on the couch while the couple slept in Mintosu's room, and Sensei didn’t really get any sleep, because he's busy trying not to imagine what they must be doing on the other side of the apartment, and hating himself for being unable to be an awful person because once again, he probably has contributed more to this relationship more than any outsider has or needed to, and he tries to be happy for them because they are happy and in love.

Sensei asked the Mintosu's ceiling if he'll be alright and it said, "I don't know."

The last time, it wasn't really the last, but it did feel like the end. It's been more than a year, and one day, as they finished shooting a video, Mintosu DM-ed Sensei.

It's not that unusual, since Mintosu and Sensei did develop their own friendship outside of their collabs, partly because of Siruko. Sensei kind of became their go-to person when they're in trouble with their relationship, and it kills Sensei but also makes him feel like he's not completely a terrible person if he was able to help them out.

It was rare though, for Mintosu to reach out first. So Sensei voice-called him, partly because he wanted to rest his fingers, and partly because he'll be able to hear Mintosu's emotions through his voice.

"Moshi moshi Sensei!"

"Hai hai, mosh mosh, doushita doushita."

"Ano.. I was kind of wondering if… how do you say this… if you had any advice for me..?"

That was weird. Mintosu, unsure of himself? At loss for words? Is there a zombie apocalypse outside his door right now?

"For what?"

"Coz I… um… I'm planning to ask Siruko-san to marry me."

And the world stopped spinning. Time stood still, and the world turned into shades of gray. Sensei’s heart gets caught up in his throat, and his insides were being turned into mush.

"...Sensei?"

Sensei shook his head to clear his mind, but it's so hard to breathe. He regretted voice calling now, because it's so hard to talk when his throat felt like acid. "C...Congratulations, teme!! W-wow this is such a big.. move, like wow, really. Dude, congrats…"

"Thanks Sensei! You're actually the third person I told, after my family and my best friend. I'm kinda nervous and excited for it!"

"Y-yeah… I bet you are… Listen, can I go to the toilet for a bit?"

"Sure, iterrashai!"

Sensei ran to the toilet and hurled the dinner he ate, his hands shaking. He splashed water on his face to calm himself down. He'd seen this coming, taught himself how to react when he hears the news, trained himself to accept it, but it still came crashing down on him like boulders on a landslide. This was his worst nightmare coming true.

"I’m back."

"Osu!"

"So… advice huh?"

"Yeah! The ring stuff, my bestfriend can take care of that, coz I have zero knowledge in that area hahaha. But I still don't know how to ask him. Should I go for the dinner style? Or the… blegh, ring on champagne thing? Coz I really dont wanna have to, thinking about it makes me puke, blegh."

And Sensei felt horrible for this, he really did, but he told Mintosu… what he let himself imagine in the middle of the night when he lets the devil in him take over, when he would revel in his deepest, darkest fantasies, things he would have done for Siruko-san. How he would have proposed.

Siruko-san deserved something grand, but also private. Sensei would have made a scavenger hunt for him, but one Siruko can do in his house because he doesn't like going out, so he'll need to ask Hakotaro-san for help. It's perfect for him, since he loves games, and he's good at solving problems and figuring things out. The next puzzle pieces will come from Bintroll, and Siruko-san can VC or chat with them about it. It will give him time to spend with the people he loves the most, and when he looks back at this memory, Siruko-san would love that they were involved. The last puzzle piece would take him to a hotel though, for their privacy. Sensei would have pulled out all stops for him, rose petals and candles everywhere (he leaves this part out because he doesn’t think Mintosu-san will do this, nor does it suit him), and he imagined Siruko-san confused but super touched at the romantic gesture, and then Sensei would come out and give him an embarrassing but heartfelt speech about how much he loves him and wants to spend forever with him, that Siruko was his lifeline (like the character they both like in APEX), that a man like Sensei can only love someone that greatly once, so Siruko was his one and only. Sensei imagined Siruko-san getting a bit emotional with the speech and cracking a joke to lighten the mood, and then he'd fall down on one knee and tell him how he loves everything about Siruko-san, his good leadership and charisma that makes everyone around him respect and treasure him, his supportive side that lifts everyone around him up, and even his demanding, whiny side that makes you wanna scold him but also indulge him.

And they would have been good for each other. They compensate for what each other doesn't have. They bring out the best in each other. Where Sensei was sometimes emotionally distant, Siruko's empathy and warmth fills that. Where Siruko was full of insecurities and anxieties, Sensei was the confidence and the daring that would support him. They both have a loud personality, which, in a non-arrogant way, has this center-of-attention thing that charms people so well, but also, they both have a side that sometimes hides in the background blending in quietly, and that's what make it's so balanced, because when one roars, the other one knows how to shut up, and vice versa. They can be both assertive and analytical, but they're also both attentive and generous. Sure, they would have had some friction, but they were both understanding enough to have handled it. It would've been sweet, if it could've been him. It would've been fun, if Sensei was the one.

They would have been as natural and beautiful as the purple-blue daybreak sky.

But it wasn't. In this world, it was Mintosu that Siruko wanted and loved. Mintosu who gets to wake up in the morning next to him, who got to cook curry for him and take care of him, who got to hold him in his arms. And they still worked, despite the seemingly destructive fights, because they were proof that if two people tried hard enough, they could make it work. Siruko learned how to assert his opinions and call out Mintosu for his bullshit, and Mintosu learned how to listen and be more showy with his affection. They still have their worse moments, and sometimes they both treat their issues the same way: either pretending it didn't exist even if it bothered them, or giving the other the cold silent treatment, or have screaming fights where they throw their words like knives, and on the worst ones, someone has to interfere, most times (to his agony), it was Sensei who did. But they pulled through by some miracle, and Sensei was happy for them, he really is. They make a good couple when they actually cooperate, and Sensei wouldn’t have approved of any other man other than Mintosu-san for Siruko-san.

And Mintosu-san actually did follow Sensei's advice, to his surprise. Sensei volunteered to make the scavenger hunt for him because that's not Mintosu's strength, but he helped and made an effort to be involved in the process. There were no roses or candles or long speeches, only the few words of: "Siruko-san, I want you to be my partner in everything; in gaming and in life. Marry me." And Siruko didn't believe him at first and thought it was a prank, but when he saw Minben-san was serious for once, he dived into Minben-san's arms and shouted “Yeeees!” And Mintosu-san almost drops the ring but he was able to catch Siruko, and they laughed while their eyes got a bit moist and they spent the whole night reveling in each other's presence and owning each other in all senses. Limone-sensei knew this because they both told him, and he congratulated them sincerely and joked about buying them PC gear for their wedding gift, and later finally let himself cry for the first time.

That was months ago. Sensei's now dusting off his black suit and adjusting his navy blue tie while sitting on his chair, waiting for the wedding ceremony to start. There were two aisles that meet in a center altar, where the officiant is already on standby. Sensei was one of the few lucky people invited in the small ceremony, as usually most people attended the reception instead. Both Mintosu and Siruko wanted him to come, as they said they both owe their relationship to him. Sensei couldn't say no even if he tried, of course. Some good part of him was still proud at what he's done to help, even if his heart dropped to his stomach and shattered to a million pieces at the thought of attending the wedding he very much wanted to be his.

The grooms arrived and walked the aisle, but of course Sensei was only looking at Siruko-san. He was beautiful, with his purple hair combed well and there were no longer dark shadows in his eyes. Not that he has ever been any less beautiful to Sensei, because Sensei found his tired or drunk state equally cute, but this, his wide smile full of nervousness and excitement, his purple eyes shining with glee, it was too much for Sensei, because it wasn't meant for him. He choked on bitter bile and coughed, and beside him Shoichi side-eyed him worriedly. He was the only one who knew, of course. Sensei couldn't have confided in Hanachan; he was already too busy with his own things to think about, and plus, he wouldn’t understand why Sensei backed off. He would have urged Sensei to pursue Siruko-san. Shoichi only knew because he and Sensei went out eating one day and ended up in a bar, and Sensei couldn't hold his alcohol well and accidentally ranted. Shoichi promised he'd never tell anyone, and Sensei knew Shoichi also wanted to ask Sensei why he never tried, but the editor didn’t, only offered silent consolation like a brother. It helped him get through the pain and the heartache, but it never fully healed. This kind of pain lasts a lifetime, because the only love that lasts is unrequited love.

And as they exchanged vows, Sensei tried to let go. He's known for a long time now, what love really means. It meant making difficult, painful choices for the happiness of another person, more than your own. Loving Siruko was the most beautiful and tragic thing he's ever done, but it was okay. He sees Mintosu gaze at Siruko with the same loving eyes he has, and that was good enough. Perhaps such a great love like Sensei had was never meant to be returned, but it will be alright.

And when they kissed, Sensei thought it was okay. People fall in love with people they can't have all the time.

He'll be alright. It was just death by a thousand cuts.

And this story did have a happy ending, just not for him.

The end.

Ren’s RANT that you don’t have to read:

About the story!

Please don't hate Minsan. I love that guy so much and even though him forgetting birthdays is almost a canon-like thing he can do, my good friend Hotaru (who likes to pretend she is Minsan's wife) pointed out that Minben-san doesn't seem like a person who would forget someone's birthday especially if it was someone special to him. He'd most likely buy you a present, although he might forget to give it to you on your actual birthday. 😂😂😂 and that's okay, it was an honest mistake on his part, that's the reason why Sensei wouldn't punch him and Siruko-san forgave him easily. It's just a Minsan thing and I love him.

I also want to point out that Minsan is also emotionally intellectual in a sense that he analyzes feelings and emotions very well, and if you watch his streams he actually has a side to him that's good at self-introspection. We just think he's not the type to show his vulnerable self, and that's why he doesn't really show up much in Bintroll livestreams, because he's more comfortable with gaming than casual chatting, and that's okay. Please don't think I don't ship MinSiru too; I was the biggest MinSiru fan and I still am, and I have probably influenced so many to their ship too. I like their dynamics as well, but as someone who has watched Minben-san for quite a bit of a long time, lately I realized that when it comes to him, Mintosu x Fans are the true canon ship. If you watch his streams closely, you'll know how much he cares about his listeners and really truly genuinely enjoys his interactions with them. He's a complex man; he has different sides of him in the Hanae channel, Bintroll channel, and his own channel, and if you watch him more, you'll fall in love with how close he is to his listeners. That's why I think Mintosu x Fans is canon www (ship MinRen for world peace and clear skin!!) (Ren who imagines herself with Minsan more than Minsan with Siruty)

I see Mintosu as someone who cannot be tied down by a relationship because that’s not him, and that’s okay because you can already see his happiness by gaming, and I love him for that.

This fic is controversial (and that's why it took me a full week to decide whether to publish it) in a sense that I've given some bad points about MinSiru. I did give them some good points, but since it's Sensei POV, it came across as sad. But just because it would be difficult doesn't mean it wouldn't work. Trust me, I'm in a relationship with someone who's almost like Min-san in personality, but we've been together for almost 3 years now. I used to think Siruko-san was a saint for enduring all Mintosu-san's trolls, coz if that was me, I would be annoyed, but there's a reason why Mintosu only does it to Siruko; it's because he's the most comfortable with Siruko3. Siruko-san is patient and understanding enough to deal with Minsan's quirks, and Minsan is also loves his company. They are more similar than people think, and that's why it's easy for them to be in sync. It'll be difficult, but it'll work. Believe me.

LimoSiru rant:

I think I’m getting better at writing angst wwww it’s just sad because if one really watched closely all four channel’s livestreams and videos, they’d see LimoSiru is beautiful too. They may not have had shared history and sexual tension, but it’s obvious how Siruko-san really supports Sensei in everything, and Sensei in return supports Bintroll even if he didn’t have to, and that’s beautiful.

I think part of the reason why I ship LimoSiru is because they make it so easy for me. It's not my fault when they are the ones who make all these cute, flirty interactions. I've started shipping them since the Fall Guys stream and have noticed how incredibly cute their relationship is. Imagine someone crashing your stream because he had this puzzle he couldn’t solve and because you’re so smart, he goes to you instead, not caring if you are currently streaming or if there are fans watching. Like seriously, Sensei, don’t you have friends? Or couldn’t you just LINE Siruko-san afterwards? If it seems like LimoSiru just happened all of a sudden, I assure you it didn’t. It’s always been there, and they started as friends too. It's almost enemies to friends to something more. In the Dedomental video, Mintosu asks Siruko-san where his name came from, although he jokes it’s kinda dirty. If you watch Sensei’s POV, you’ll hear him laugh and say “I think it’s a good name.” Siruko-san always crashes Sensei’s stream and Sensei does the same, and I found it especially cute when Sensei always superchats in Siruko’s birthday stream; first, when he played DbD with them, and on the second, isn’t it cute how he sends superchat while he’s streaming, like he doesn’t have to do that, but he did. Even in the Bintroll 100k stream, he helped them make the DbD minecraft after his own stream, and that was so on-the-spot, and the fact that he did that even though he could have just ended his stream and rested, is very thoughtful. And have you watched that sudden stream that took our wigs off? Bintroll had just received their silver play and moments later Sensei wanted a stream with Siruko-san, when he could have just congratulated them on Twitter or LINE. The conversations, gods they sound like two people who were in the early stages of dating, and it felt like we listeners were third-wheelers. They learned their lesson on stream #2 because the conversations were more proper and they kept themselves in check, but that raw, unfiltered, natural first stream was everything. I’ve always had so little content for LimoSiru and even if they didn’t do that I would have been happy, but now with that big, fat LimoSiru official thumbnail there, I have died and ascended to heaven. (As of the release of this post, they have interacted almost everyday for a week, and I don't know what to do with all these interactions! I've been so used to little content and now I'm just… dead)

But not everyone ships like me, I guess, one who can ship anything and everything equally. At the end of the day, nothing is canon. That’s the real angst in this post, hahahaha. I know the characters in my mind are different from the people who livestreams in real time, no matter how much I always try to keep the characterization close. So let’s just enjoy supporting them in our own ways.

Thank you for reading! I love you~~

#Bintrollfanfic

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mtg-thrill-of-possibility · 4 years ago

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A Reflection on Magic, the Pandemic, and the Dark Side of Arena

Hello to all the readers who may stumble upon this in the search for new Magic content. I wrote this mostly to fill a void in my life that has opened up over the last year and more of a mental health thing than some form of Magic related advice but since it is about that, I thought they’d go hand in hand. I love Magic. Or at least I have loved Magic? It’s hard to tell. Like nearly everyone on this planet, I’ve been shut off from in-person Magic and it had/has me left down. I normally volunteer at my LGS and help them organize their tournaments and judge the events and generally whatever else they ask me to do because I really love Magic. I love playing with my locals who don’t spend hundreds of dollars and craft GP/MF level decks. I love watching a group of people playing draft chaff and off beat home brews and where adults and teenagers can compete with one another on that level. I enjoy sitting off to the corner on the store’s EDH night and listening to games and drawing tokens for games in my own corner while I wait for my own games or sometimes my ow turns. I also love traveling with my wife to cities and go compete in GP/MFs where we usually both scrub out of the main event by round 3 or 4 and then hit the vendors and side events as well as explore the cities for new restaurants. I miss Welcome Days where adults bring in kids and I show them the ropes. I love meeting adults who poke their noses in and ask me “Magic is still a thing? I played that in high school” and show them the changes. I can still remember the Theros Beyond Death prerelease last year and thought how much fun it was to not work the event for once and just play. And looking back, boy am I glad I entered the THB prerelease.

February was the start of the downturn. Our EDH night was slightly less full but I just figured it was due to the weather since the winter usually has a downturn in the attendance for every event. But then the rotating cast of 10-15 FNM players was 6; Pioneer on Saturday had 3. The next week, the EDH crowd was down to from the usual 6-8 pods to 2. FNM and Pioneer failed to fire. The news that COVID-19 was starting to creep into the Midwest prompted me to ask the store what precautions we wanted to take and when we were going to stop in general.

I work in chemical research and I have a background in pharmaceuticals and once (or twice) studied the MCATs and considered going to med school. I was definitely concerned but in February it hadn’t reached my state (yet) and I wanted the store to be ready for the imminent shutdown and continued downtick in participation (my LGS and I had been strategizing how to move up in events and the store ranking on the WPN). But it’s a red state. Science denial must be a recessive trait that the Midwest incorporated into its identity for a long time and I was told that I had some freedom but to not go crazy. I thought I’m a volunteer. I’m not spending what little money I have on stuff for you guys. So, I did the best thing I could think of for free, I started a Discord server. I was really excited at the prospect. I had just bought a webcam in case my workplace started working from home and thought how cool it would be to be able to organize events in Arena and talk through Discord when the store wasn’t available. I asked if we could hang up a flyer and tell all the Magic customers that they continue with tournaments and Magic if they joined the Discord I set up in the store’s name.

My LGS asked how much this was going to cost them and I said exactly as much as it costs them now if not a little less since we don’t need the store’s utilities or a cashier behind the counter in the after hours to work the tournament. They were happy and I got the greenlight. Things worked okay at first. Those with Arena accounts showed for a few weeks. Others I knew were interested were convinced that we were overly sensitive to the virus and FNMs continued to limp along with 4-6 people until everything ground down to a halt.

Come mid-March, COVID had finally reached the state and the city. Cases were light, a few hundred people tested each day, single digit cases detected but I again was worried. My workplace had already begun educating everyone on how to wash their hands properly and disinfect every surface and everyone was issued a bleach spray bottle with their name and a serial number on it. While the mayor and governor hadn’t ordered a shutdown yet, I advised strongly that the store go ahead and if they wanted to continue that I wouldn’t be there to assist until the curve was sufficiently flattened.

I’m not sure why but they trusted me and listened. I was glad and I pushed again for people to join the Discord server. Players were reluctant but I assured them that this may be the future for some time and if they get on now, they can still get the Ravnica intro quests and start building up their Arena collections. I got more on my side, we had 8-10 and got them all to try and hook anyone else they knew to join us. However, by the end of March, my workplace had moved to 100% virtual and with my extra time, I had begun to unwittingly shift the power dynamic in the store by accident. You see, I really love Magic. I was now working from home for a job that required me to have direct physical access to hundreds of thousands of dollars or sensitive equipment that need recertification when they get moved 12 inches down a work bench and dangerous chemicals I don’t want near me unless I know there’s an inspected chemical shower nearby. When the campus shut down, I got very bored. I did what research I could from my home portal, attended virtual conferences and webinars every day, but I had tons of down time. That meant watching my wife play Animal Crossing, playing with my dogs, marathon sessions of Civilization but most crucially, I also began grinding Arena.

My local meta had been defined by the understanding that none of us were really Arena players. I had played when the Kaladesh and Amonkhet closed betas were happening, but I was turned off by the fact that all my playing of those formats amounted to nothing when it launched with Ixalan and I would start from square one. Everyone in the group typically shied away from tier 1 tournament decks because to all of us, it was more fun to goof around with RG auras and Tilonalli’s Summoner decks than it was to grind Esper Hero or the new Uro decks. And the limitation that everyone didn’t have all the shocklands meant we were all playing on roughly the same card pools with some variation due to our play styles. So when I suggested we all start playing Arena to replace the tournaments, it worked because it meant we all played the same dumb decks we’d play in person with a few exceptions of having less than perfect mana bases.

But I would find myself grinding Arena everyday where my friends and locals were not. Even though I jumped into Arena at mid-March, I finished the Theros Beyond Death mastery at level 78 when Ikoria began to creep around the corner. I had just begun to get back into Magic when Fate Reforged hit and didn’t realize how much I love wedge color alignments over shards but boy did I love Abzan in Khans standard and now I was in love with Abzan again in Ikoria standard. Grinding the way I did meant I drafted most afternoons for the first month of Ikoria (and forced Temur every time) and started climbing the ranked ladder in the evenings. Ikoria would also mark the first time I spent money on Arena. I’m notoriously spend-thrift in video games and anything you can free-to-play I do religiously because you shouldn’t make a game grindable over the course of years if you give me that option. But drafting took gems and I really love drafting but most people at my LGS are too concerned about rares than learning to do it properly and a lot of younger players feel lost when I draft a zero rare deck and go 4-0 and collect my prizes. By the end of April, I would reach Platinum in constructed and Gold in limited. But now my LGS was far less inclined to play with me. I didn’t brag about any of my rankings but the skill disparity had begun to creep in as well as the difference in our collections. Having played so much Arena, I could see the tells the software gives away that paper Magic doesn’t. I learned to read when the game would hang up on the beginning of combat and end steps because they’re holding potential responses. I began to do the full control shortcut to bluff counter spells and removal. In paper Magic, if my opponent would sequence things wrong or tap their mana wrong, we’d make jokes and rewind it because it’s one of those human errors that we all make and redo it the right way.

But Arena was different; some learned the hard way to not trust the auto-tapper, some didn’t realize that the way they normally stack triggers in paper is backwards and too late to fix after a spell or ability resolved. And I couldn’t help them. And I let them make their mistakes because I can’t change Arena. If they use the auto-tapper and they realize that Arena doesn’t tap the Castle Vantress even though they couldn’t activate it anyway and they lose a dual source, I couldn’t help them. If they have the lethal Explosion in hand but forgot to hit Control in their second main so they can stack the Wilderness Reclamation triggers in their end step, I don’t concede out of pity.

In May, I try and keep the Magic going by suggesting that we shift the format to a draft limited but they’re unconvinced of the website that allows you to simulate an 8-person draft and then import the drafted card lists to Arena. Why? Because they don’t have the cards already and I’ve changed the dynamic. They know I’m much more skilled at Arena and Ikoria drafting. The news has also been reporting that the curve was flattening, and our state was lifting restrictions on gatherings. They want to play EDH and paper Magic, not this digital intangible game. I reluctantly agree but keep grinding on Arena anyway. My friends didn’t want to play Magic on Arena and I couldn’t understand why. I was getting burned out on drafting at this point and the drafts were harder to fire off a month and a half later, work was returning on a limited schedule where I was onsite 75% and virtual 25%, it really did seem like things were returning to normal.

In June I finish the Ikoria mastery and at this point my wife had begun to show more interest in playing on Arena and trying to get her account a little more stocked since our normal paper system is I aggregate everything we typically need and I make her desired deck and hand it off to her to wreck people on FNM but since I didn’t have to judge, I got to play and we couldn’t both play from my account at the same time. I casually start hers and I get the wild hair that maybe I should make a loaner account in the store’s name and if anyone says they don’t have the cards, they can borrow the store’s account for the tournament. I make the account but put the pipe dream on hold when Wizards announces that in-store play can resume with the Core 2021 prerelease. I could read between the lines and see that the curve was trending the wrong way and thought it was a bad idea but at my insistence, everyone would have to wear a mask at all times and hand sanitizer was available every 15 feet and the store had lots of space for players to spread out. The turnout was low which helped as well, and I had everyone who showed up at least aware that I was trying to keep the Discord going and that in case there’s another shutdown that there was another avenue for them.

Well, I got my wish because within a week of the launch of Core 2021, my state had regressed, and cases were exploding and gathering restrictions were sent back in place. Shortly after that, Wizards suspended in-store play again and with that I created the store’s Arena account. At the time, things were pretty good. The locals weren’t playing as much and my server was still fairly empty but most of the Magic Twitch community I interacted with had strongly adjusted to the new paradigm. EDH streaming was commonplace, I had my new Arena account to focus on building up as well as my own. Pro level events and Opens were being held on Arena and the expansion of Amonkhet Remastered gave me hope that Magic was on the mend. But I also think it was with Core 2021 that things started to slide into the negative for me. Grinding the second account was frustrating me a lot. The lack of human interaction was tilting me out for no reason. Some days the server would have me wait a whole minute (the horror?!) for a game and then my opponent would be the world’s slowest red player where everything seemed delayed. There would strings of games I would play where I couldn’t get a third land drop after a mull to 4 and other times where I’d flood out and would have won if it weren’t for generic whiny reason why everyone says they lose.

Maybe it was when I began to see that Arena is not Magic the Gathering as much as it is a video game that it began to really sour on me. For those of you who don’t play a lot of Arena and instead interact with humans over webcams is that Arena is designed for you to not play off beat home brews except in direct challenges with your friends. The game is meant for you to play the best combination of 75 cards and for you to help it machine learn through millions of matches what is and what is not the correct play pattern based on the available information you have. It wants you to play the very best decks in a format against the other best decks. I started to see this in Ikora standard when decks would scoop if you were on the play and went turn 2 Agonizing Remorse. Decks were and still are so linear that they can’t handle that kind of disruption or it’s a matter of the players know it’s faster to accumulate wins by scooping than grinding out a long game.

If you need evidence of whether or not this is true, you should play Arena now and see how often people scoop against the double Ruin Crab opener with a Fabled Passage back-to-back. Or if an opponent against your Lurrus Auras deck will time out when they know they can’t win. In paper Magic, when you drive 4 hours to a major venue, pay your entry fee, you never see your opponent rage scoop unless it’s Legacy and you know what your opponent’s on and you mull to zero so you can see what’s in their deck. You call a judge to your table if they start stalling. Nothing is more annoying that an opponent spamming “Good Game” at you through a match when it’s obvious that you’re not killing them that turn but they’re empty handed and have nothing relevant on board.

I’ll admit myself that what my wife calls “Wizard Chores” for the Daily quests, if I’m 1 red spell short of finishing a quest, I’ll log in for one more game and Boulder Dash my opponent’s creature or cast Shock to face and immediately scoop. Who is that helping? I’d spend the week at work in my down times thinking about what dumb cards I hadn’t played with from a set, start making a list, furiously find the cards on a Friday afternoon and grab dinner with the wife and then race to my LGS for FNM. Magic used to be something I only got to do twice a week with people in a shared setting and we’d unroll our playmats, shuffle up our jank, and laugh and generally have a good time for three to four hours. With Magic at my fingertips, Arena is a distillation of efficiency at spell slinging combined with the minor rewards system we’ve come to recognize the free-to-play traps to “encourage” us to play different things. If I want to play 100 matches in a day, all I need to do is sit at my computer long enough. If I want to play my old jank on Arena, I can’t even count on the Casual play channel to help since it’s always filled with people with 55 of the 60 cards that make the best deck learning how to play before they commit the wild cards for the deck.

Zendikar Rising has been a pretty dark point for everyone on Arena I believe. It seems like a lifetime ago that Omnath was printed and that I had immediately cashed in four mythic rare wildcards for the deck I would get to play with on Arena for 2 weeks before Wizards realized their mistake. Honestly before I had started writing this in the week before Kaldheim will hit Arena, I forgot that Omnath was part of the most recent set as all I can remember Zendikar Rising giving us is the extremely irritating Ruin Crab and Soaring Thought Thief. The few locals I had left on my Discaord server when ZNR released had lost interest in Arena since they enjoyed the Ravnica standard that was rotating out and Pioneer was not yet available for Arena. I’ve encouraged nearly everyone I know from my LGS to buy webcams since October given that the current state of the COVID world is not likely to go away and the new culture and channels that have opened up in the world to fill the void of EDH has some level of benefit even when in-person play resumes. Not many people play and I’ll search for an occasional game on the official Discord when the craving strikes. Some of my friends have been taking advantage of the webcam world and started playing older formats with me over webcam such as Pioneer and Modern to rekindle their love for Magic and the hope that we can start playing tournaments over webcam. Finishing up the ZNR mastery passes on my two accounts and my wife’s account has been giving me a much-needed break from Arena and honestly, it’s probably done the most to lift my spirits.

I’ve been taking a lot more time to reflect on why I love Magic and I plan on doing in the future. The first thing I know I’m going to do and stick to is not get a Mastery Pass for mt LGS store’s account. They don’t pay for all the work I put into the one already grinding multiple accounts is not good for my mental well-being. The second thing I know I am going to do is relearn how to have fun in Magic again. Not really hinted at in this article so far is the fact I love the art in Magic and I’m often inspired by my own crazy mind to illustrate my own works or reimagine my favorite cards with my own art. Since the release of Rise of Skywalker, I had been working on a personal project of creating a second expansion to the largely underground Star Wars the Gathering card game and ended up making 200 unique, draftable cards. I wouldn’t call myself an artist because I’m still learning and I don’t necessarily aspire to an artist but I would love to improve my skills and one day make a piece that’s so good someone wants on a card. Over the last two years, I’ve been deeply jealous of how amazing and hard working the Magic cosplayers are and that I should put my art to good use and make my own cosplays. And then there’s the playing of Magic. I miss the Gathering part of Magic. So this brings us to the bedrock of this piece. I hope to continue this blog steadily as time moves forward. I’m rarely ever satisfied or have my attention on any one project for too long but 2021 is a new year. And I hope that the title is a hint to the future. Whatever it is; whether it’s deck construction, art alters, or Magic cosplay, story, general discussion, that’s what I’m here for. It’s the Thrill of what I might work on next and I promise because I’m terrible right now at doing so, I’ll be sure to take pictures and try and stream when I can to keep myself honest about the whole deal. I hope you’ll all join me or at least join the Discord to yell at me.

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djsinquarantine · 5 years ago

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Tech House Taco Tuesday with Abco, By Team Awesome

Description: https://www.twitch.tv/abcomusic This stream was live on June 16th, 2020 at 5pm EST. During our study, viewership peaked at 232 and remained steady at around 200 for the majority of the stream. The description and the bots in the chat shared a lot of info about Abco and ways to support her including: some of her merch, her soundcloud page (https://soundcloud.com/abcomusic), her spotify playlist, (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4tGqb8UqquHUQOePHQSf7N?si=ct6lP73ZSTuD2uKxYBlqFA) and an encouragement to reach out to Twitch in order to help Abco get a partnership with Twitch. In this stream, all money raised through tips, subscriptions, gift subscriptions, bits and merch will be donated to the LGBTQ Freedom Fund, a bail fund for incarcerated Black LGBTQ people. Abco will be donating to a different Black-led organization every Tuesday for the next few weeks.

Visual Experience: There was quite a bit happening visually with the stream: Abco was, for the most part, the central focus of the video stream on Twitch and emotes would float across the stream as she played. Video of her would sometimes cut to crazy colorful and geometric graphics that a number of viewers made positive note of. Frank asked Abco whether the visuals were tailored to the stream, and Abco mentioned that she had bought a pack of visual DJ loops and edited the color and shape of some of them, but has been reusing them in multiple streams. For most of the stream, the top left corner displayed chat messages in real-time while the top right was a dog cam and featured their dog laying on the dog bed suspended in a space of cool visuals. Occasionally, when someone would send a “bit emote” or would “cheer,” all paid Twitch-specific features, it would also display across the screen with the viewer’s display name. The very top right header was dedicated to the current time while the top left header displayed Abco’s social media links, all @abcomusic. Her camera angle looked down on her from above, so it allowed us to see her setup and equipment clearly, and it almost felt like being up in the booth with her.

Below the video stream on the Twitch page, there were links to leave a tip, follow Abco on various social media and to buy merch. The chat also had a lot going on visually: most people participated by sharing Twitch emotes. On Twitch, a selection of emotes are free to use, and for this stream, Twitch unlocked their pride emotes, which included heart flag designs for the various identities within the LGBTQ community, including the gay, lesbian, trans and bisexual pride flag emotes. There were also a number of exclusive subscriber-only emotes many users shared, including a rainbow discoball and emotes that looked like Abco’s dogs. Abco’s merchandise and branding is very much centered around her dogs, and it was quirky in an incredible likeable way. She also felt very relatable with her glass of red wine.

Sonic Experience: The stream was largely dedicated to Techno House mixes. Abco played her own original mixes of songs, most of them unrecognizable, save for one which chat participants mentioned used a Duran Duran sample. Other songs incorporated talking tracks. Overall, the music was high-energy dance music that drew influence from 80s synth pop, techno, 90s Eurodance and even R&B. The abco bot dropped links to Abco’s soundcloud where you can listen to her original mixes and well as her Spotify page.

Soundcloud:https://soundcloud.com/abcomusic

Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2VuXsxH

Technology: Unlike in past streams, Abco’s stream had a detailed list of the equipment in her DJ setup as well as the equipment used for the stream itself. The setup included:

Pioneer DJ DDJ 1000 (CDJ controller / mixer)

2x XDJ-1000 MK2 (CDJs)

Audio Technica LP120 (Turntable)

Aiaiai DJ Preset TMA-2 Headphones

Macbook Air 2019

KRK Rokit5 (Speaker)

The equipment they used for streaming included a Powerspec gaming monitor, which Abco used to watch the comments, respond the questions, and thank users for donations / bits, a Canon EOS M200 which recorded the stream, a Logitech stream webcam to stream their dog and themselves on Zoom and the Scarlett 2i2 usb interface. Although the stream was mainly on Twitch, Abco used a number of other streaming platforms to share her work.

Social Experience: Holding the attention of a steady 180+ users, the chat was very active and fast-paced throughout the stream. This stream was very focused on raising money for the LGBTQ freedom fund, a bail fund for black LGBTQ incarcerated people. Because of this, it can be reasoned that the stream viewers were members of the LGBT community or allies. Chat participants were very interested in the music and the genres of music that Abco likes to play. In the middle of a flurry of comments about loving a particular track, one user asked Abco about her favorite genre to play during evening sets. To further enhance the social experience, Abco had a monitor so they could keep track of the chat and responded to the user saying that she likes to play techno house for evening sets, but during the daytime prefers to play piano-heavy 90s house music. People were also generally very respectful, welcoming and helpful to one another. One user noted in the chat that they were a first-timer on Twitch and didn’t know how to send bits, and other users instructed them until they figured it out. When Sarah posted in the chat about being a student and wanting to send out a survey, users were nice about her request and suggested she post in the Discord chat to reach a wider audience.

When Courtney first tried to enter the Zoom room, she had difficulty turning her video on even though her microphone was still working. She entered in and out of the room, and that fixed the issue. Some participants, although they made it clear that they were relatively new to Zoom, offered to help her fix the issue and were really sympathetic to her having a little trouble. She found it very sweet. Oh yeah, the people in the Zoom room were also pretty drunk. At first, Courtney was shy, but she warmed up to them a bit after they started talking about home. We all started comparing drinks and shot glasses, while Courtney remarked about her Nalgene. One woman said she was “cute as f*ck” which was really flattering, and it was probably the best compliment ever. A few people were from Great Britain, so we talked about politics and explained the craziness that happened in our relative places. Our conclusion was, “Politicians are all muppets.”

Abco was connecting into the Zoom room and played the music from her stream into her microphone, so the audio was a little shaky from that perspective. Additionally, Courtney had trouble hearing people speak over her stream. At first, Courtney was kind of peeved by it, but then she realized that she usually has to talk over the music during in-person DJ sets anyway. She started to appreciate the memory of her at events with loud music in the past. Abco tells us in the chat how she can’t keep up with two chats and that’s why she hasn’t been active in the Zoom. Courtney saw how focused Abco was even though they generally give off a cool, relaxed vibe. All of us in the room understood how she was juggling multiple activities at once, and when she addressed us in a friendly way, it felt like we were in the VIP section of a club in a select room.

Frank also spent a few minutes in the Zoom call early on in the stream--although he didn’t turn on his mic or video as he was eating and thought it might be weird. He also found the people in the Zoom room to be very very nice and helpful, yet also funny and playful. When he first shared the link to the Google Doc survey, one user by the name of Fexcab said he would only fill out the survey if Frank shared his instagram handle so he could know what Frank looked like. Another individual in the Zoom room by the name of DJ Smark (who I believe was also a mod in the Twitch stream) would go on to encourage Frank to also share the survey in Abco’s Discord server as it was much bigger. He then gave Frank access to the Discord server. Sarah would end up beating Frank to sharing the survey on the Discord server, though. Users did many fun things including dancing to the music, showing themselves rolling around on roller skates (which Abco would go on to mention on her stream), showing themselves baking, and putting on funny hats. It was Frank’s first experience in a breakout Zoom room where the users turned on their mics to talk to one another.

Outside the Zoom room, the Twitch chat and the stream itself were fairly focused on the dogs--in some ways, the event seemed more focused on the dogs than Abco, at least to Frank. The stream employed the viewership points system that Twitch offers. In this system, viewers are awarded points for watching and engaging in the stream in exchange for certain prizes. In this case, prizes included making the dogcam the center of attention for the stream (4,000 points), getting Abco to give the dogs a treat (2,500 points), and getting Abco to pet the dogs (2,000 points). An interesting pattern in the chat was the strong support for the LGBTQIA+ community that primarily manifested itself in the spamming of pride emotes. This is likely largely due to the fact that Abco said that all of the proceeds from this particular stream would be donated to the LGBTQ Freedom Fund. Abco was certainly a significant catalyst for the chat’s high activity as well. She would regularly answer questions posted in the chat, and even share short anecdotes and opinions regarding topics that were brought up. For instance, at one point she talked about wanting to be a roller skating rink dj when she was younger and at another point she shared how she was drinking wine and asked if anyone else was as well.

Liveness: One aspect of the stream that Sarah felt brought about an aura of liveness was Abco’s interaction with the chat feed. Instead of there being a disconnect in the stream between DJ and viewer, Abco was able to re-create the two-way interaction that you would find in a live performance.

Courtney arrived later to the stream than Sarah and Frank, and she thinks that could have affected her sense of liveness. Although she felt socially engaged in the Zoom room and the chat, she believed her focus on gathering information removed her from the experience of being live this time around. It’s a rookie mistake!

Perhaps one aspect of the stream that especially added to its liveness is the dynamic and multi-layered social atmosphere and audience interaction. In particular, the Zoom room participants talking amongst themselves, and the audience having the ability to alter certain aspects of the stream through Twitch’s point system are experiences inherently tied to the stream’s present that reproductions (such as a recording) would fail to capture.

Individual Research Questions: Looking at Abco’s previous broadcasts, Courtney noticed that she wore a FEMME HOUSE t-shirt, which is an organization that LP Giobbi (a DJ that Courtney also listened to this week) founded to amplify the voices of women and non-binary DJs in the electronic music scene. Abco also played for Mesh Fest this past Saturday, a stream put on by Club Mesh, a female producer/DJ trio that are also closely tied to FEMME HOUSE. Courtney wanted to attend this stream but eventually was not able to. It’s interesting to see the connections in the community, especially when women are uplifting each other rather than putting each other down. This relates to Courtney’s inquiry about DIY culture – these women are giving themselves a voice through their online engagement, and this has allowed their message to reach new audiences.

There weren’t too many connections to Frank’s research questions in this stream: there weren’t any cases of people being rude or trolling in the chat that I noticed, and the music didn’t seem to have a noteworthy connection to the stream’s liveness. I suppose I can mention that that last fact might be noteworthy in itself. This might mean that, for some streams, users might show up because of the music but stay for the social atmosphere. In this particular stream, the Zoom room, the emotes, the dogs, and Abco’s interactions with chat messages and Zoom room participants may have been entertaining enough within themselves to make the music much less of a focus for the stream and audience.

This stream ties to the questions I had about livestreams and community organizing. In this instance, there is a great deal of momentum surrounding the BLM movement, and in the middle of pride month, LGBTQ people and allies are supporting the Black LGBTQ community, including in this stream. Abco pledged to donate all money from tips, subscriptions, bits and merch to a different Black-led organization every Tuesday for the duration of Pride month and this week, it focused on a bail fund for incarcerated Black LGBTQ individuals. Abco’s Tech House Taco Tuesday is one of many streams we have encountered over the last two weeks pledging funds to a Black-led organization, specifically to a bail fund, indicating the widespread support for an end to mass-incarceration and policing.

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#research diaries

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tifu-today-i-fucked-up · 6 years ago

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TIFU by broadcasting my butthole live on Twitch

This actually happened yesterday but I was too embarassed to post it right away.

Anyway, let's start. I'm 28M and I have been streaming games on Twitch for the past few months as a hobby. I never really took it that seriously but recently I managed to gain a decent following of around 50 active viewers per stream.

Long story short, I was saying goodbye to my viewers after an 8-hour stream, which is quite long from me, being an amateur. Tired as I was, I decided to relieve myself and get a good wank in before going to bed. But, of course my dumbass actually only turned off the monitor and left my PC running.

Being oblivious to that, I stripped down completely and started cranking my hog aggressively on my bed. Thankfully my bed isn't visible from my webcam and I didn't make any sounds so my chat didn't know what I was doing, but around 20 people stayed out of curiosity because I hadn't ended the stream.

A few minutes in, I was very close to finishing when I saw probably the most terrifying spider I have ever seen in my life, including documentaries. This thing was easily 5 inches wide and some big ass legs. When I saw it my erection immediately started going away but I had a sudden urge of adrenaline and felt the need to defend my territory.

Buck naked, I grab a flat wooden stool that I had next to my bed and try to crush this fucker. I land a good hit and he falls down but the legs are still moving. Trying to finish him off, I lean down and expose my hairy asshole to my webcam which was sitting right across the murder scene. My fucking dumbass just broadcasted my asshole in 1080p live to 20+ people without having a clue. Anyway, having lost all interest in masturbation I decided to go to bed for the day and I don't remember laying down any more than a minute because I was so tired.

Around 2 hours later, at 1 AM I wake up to my wife saying my name loudly. I ask her what the problem is and she reveals what had happened because she tried to search something on my PC, as her laptop was in for repair, turning on the monitor and seeing OBS running. Not fully understanding what she said because I had just woken up, I turn on my phone to get my eyes to open up and I am bombarded with literally dozens of notifications from pretty much everywhere, including Twitch, Twitter and Discord. I saw all these guys saying things like "Lmao you thicc" and "forgot the webcam monkaS" and then it hit me.

I was honestly so embarassed that I contemplated deleting all my social media accounts and stayed away from any form of electronic device rethinking my life choices but around an hour later I fell asleep feeling as if my whole family died.

I just woke up and with my wife leaving for work, I decided to post to Reddit because I have no one else to talk to. I honestly can't describe how I feel right now. My whole image is ruined and I can't even bring myself to check my messages. I bet the video is gonna be all over YouTube and my parents will find out somehow. Anyway, I'm fucking praying that the video is shared for the last time sometime soon. Needless to say I'm never streaming again.

TL;DR: I accidentally showed my bare ass on my gaming stream trying to kill a spider.

Edit: fixed typos

submitted by /u/progamer3317 [link] [comments]

#tifu #by /u/progamer3317 #fail #fails #fail stories #today i fucked up #fucked up #fucked up stories

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kerloniphone · 3 years ago

Text

Will callnote work with discord

WILL CALLNOTE WORK WITH DISCORD FOR WINDOWS 10

WILL CALLNOTE WORK WITH DISCORD BLUETOOTH

WILL CALLNOTE WORK WITH DISCORD FREE

WILL CALLNOTE WORK WITH DISCORD MAC

If you can hear it, the problem may be with the other person on the call - ask them to follow these steps too. Try playing a song or using another application with sound and test your volume. Ask them to turn down their playback volume.

Do you hear the echo of your own voice? The problem may be with the device of the person you're calling.

WILL CALLNOTE WORK WITH DISCORD FREE

From within Skype on desktop, click on your profile picture > Settings > Audio & Video Settings > Make a free test call. The test call prompts you to record a message and then plays it back for you - it's the easiest way to see if there's an issue with your audio settings.

WILL CALLNOTE WORK WITH DISCORD FOR WINDOWS 10

Note: For Skype for Windows 10 & 11 (version 15) users, make sure your webcam meets the minimum requirements for Windows Store apps. From within Skype on desktop, go to your profile picture > Settings > Audio & Video Settings > Under Video, check to see if your video is showing a preview for your camera.

Check your camera. Make sure your camera is on, pointing towards you and there’s nothing obstructing it.

WILL CALLNOTE WORK WITH DISCORD BLUETOOTH

If it is a Bluetooth device, be sure it is connected as well. Make sure they are plugged in and not muted.

Check your microphone, speakers or headphones.

WILL CALLNOTE WORK WITH DISCORD MAC

Go to Mac System Preferences > Security & Privacy > Privacy Tab > Microphone/Camera and grant access to Skype.įor additional information: Check out this article if you need help managing your audio and video settings in Skype on desktop. Learn more about fixing microphone problems or if your camera doesn't work in Windows 10 or Windows 11. Restart Skype and go to your Skype Audio & Video Settings to verify the correct device is selected within Skype. Under both, make sure that Skype is toggled On. Go to Start, then select the Settings gear > Privacy > then select either Microphone or Camera. Skype for Windows 10 & 11 (version 15):.Check your System's Privacy Permissions. For Skype for Windows 10 & 11 (version 15) and Mac OSX Mojave (10.14 or higher) users, you must grant Skype permissions to use your desktop microphone and camera. Skype needs your permission to access the microphone and camera of your desktop.If you're using Skype on a laptop and you're in power-saving mode, try plugging the laptop into AC power or switching it to maximum performance mode. File sharing applications, streaming audio or video, or even just having a browser open are all things that can eat up bandwidth. If you're having connections issues in Windows, you can follow the troubleshooting steps in Why can't I get online.Ĭlose any applications that could be interfering with your call. Once the internet connection recovers, Skype will automatically turn the video back on. If the internet connection degrades during the call, Skype may turn off one or more video streams in group calls. Make sure you have a strong WiFi signal, or if possible, use a wired connection. Here's a few other things that might affect your call quality: If you are having a bad connection, you may receive a notification saying Poor network connection. We're always improving call quality, so for best performance, make sure that you and the person you're calling meet the minimum system requirements for Skype and are using the latest version of Skype.Ĭheck your computer and internet connection.Ī bad connection can cause dropped calls, blocky or frozen video, and poor sound. Make sure you meet the minimum system requirements and are using the latest version of Skype. The site will tell you if there are any reported issues. You will also see the Call Quality indicator when there is an issue. A poor internet connection can cause dropped calls, delays, and poor-quality audio and video. Having problems with the quality of your Skype call? Your internet connection – or your friend’s – is the most likely culprit.

#Will callnote work with discord

0 notes

justgp · 3 years ago

Text

Will callnote work with discord

#Will callnote work with discord for windows 10

#Will callnote work with discord Bluetooth

#Will callnote work with discord free

#Will callnote work with discord mac

Do you hear the echo of your own voice? The problem may be with the device of the person you're calling.

#Will callnote work with discord free

#Will callnote work with discord for windows 10

#Will callnote work with discord Bluetooth

If it is a Bluetooth device, be sure it is connected as well. Make sure they are plugged in and not muted.

Check your microphone, speakers or headphones.

#Will callnote work with discord mac

Skype for Windows 10 & 11 (version 15):.

Check your System's Privacy Permissions. For Skype for Windows 10 & 11 (version 15) and Mac OSX Mojave (10.14 or higher) users, you must grant Skype permissions to use your desktop microphone and camera.

Skype needs your permission to access the microphone and camera of your desktop.

If you're using Skype on a laptop and you're in power-saving mode, try plugging the laptop into AC power or switching it to maximum performance mode. File sharing applications, streaming audio or video, or even just having a browser open are all things that can eat up bandwidth. If you're having connections issues in Windows, you can follow the troubleshooting steps in Why can't I get online.Ĭlose any applications that could be interfering with your call. Once the internet connection recovers, Skype will automatically turn the video back on. If the internet connection degrades during the call, Skype may turn off one or more video streams in group calls. Make sure you have a strong WiFi signal, or if possible, use a wired connection. Here's a few other things that might affect your call quality: If you are having a bad connection, you may receive a notification saying Poor network connection. We're always improving call quality, so for best performance, make sure that you and the person you're calling meet the minimum system requirements for Skype and are using the latest version of Skype.Ĭheck your computer and internet connection.Ī bad connection can cause dropped calls, blocky or frozen video, and poor sound. Make sure you meet the minimum system requirements and are using the latest version of Skype. The site will tell you if there are any reported issues. You will also see the Call Quality indicator when there is an issue. A poor internet connection can cause dropped calls, delays, and poor-quality audio and video. Having problems with the quality of your Skype call? Your internet connection – or your friend’s – is the most likely culprit.

#Will callnote work with discord

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lettonki · 3 years ago

Text

Presentation zoom for mac

Presentation zoom for mac how to#

Presentation zoom for mac mac#

However, if the webcam itself doesn’t work, then you will need to reach out to Apple directly and have the camera checked out for any abnormalities. If it works with other apps but not with Zoom, then the issue lies with Zoom. If the webcam continues not to work, then you will also want to make sure that you try using it with another video conferencing app with Zoom not running in the background.Make sure that no other video conferencing apps are running in the background such as FaceTime, Discord, Slack, Microsoft Teams as well as and especially Skype.Learn more about how you can do it, step-by-step. If you’re on macOS 10.17 version, 10.16 or earlier, then you will want to head over to /Library/QuickTime/ and delete the Video Glide, Sonix SN9C, 3ivx Video Codec, or Desktop Video Out components.The issue itself is quite a popular one, and we provide thirteen solutions on how you can go about fixing the issue and getting your camera working again.īriefly, here are some of the solutions which we suggest that you do:

Presentation zoom for mac how to#

If you find that the Zoom app is not detecting your webcam or that the camera is not working, then we highly recommend that you go through our “ How To Fix Webcam Not Working on Zoom” post which we curated a few days ago. Your Mac’s Camera or Webcam Not Working on Zoom? Do This. How to Fix Zoom Not Working on Mac: 7 Waysġ. Zoom Audio and Video Issues? Microphone Not Working? Try This.Zoom Keeps Freezing? Here’s What You Can Do.

Presentation zoom for mac mac#

Zoom Screen Share Flicking / Not Working on Mac.

Your Mac’s Camera or Webcam Not Working on Zoom? Do This.

By the end of this post, you will be able to go about your meetings with the Zoom app running again. This extensive guide will address each of those issues as well as provides solutions on how you can fix it. It’s tough to go about your business webinar or team meeting, especially when such issues occur that can leave a bad experience for the other participants. With around 200 million daily users using the app currently at the time of this writing, many users have reported issues with Zoom crashing, lagging, screen share flickering, keeps freezing, camera not working and even a getting a black screen. Find that the Zoom video conferencing app is not working on your Mac?

#Presentation zoom for mac

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punkpsychologist · 4 years ago

Text

first two days of college completed!!!

day #1

day one involved me waking up at 9:30am and doing my work out routine and then eating breakfast. i evaluated my work at midnight and a horrible time trying to sleep, which was strange for me. regardless i tackled math first as its my most loathed subject (also the subject causing me the most anxiety).

we have a remote proctoring application that i had to install and i had to take a practice quiz to use it, the quiz would be graded though so i suppose it wasn't really all that much of practice. my webcam fucked up and i had to close the tab and troubleshoot the damn thing which took the better part of an hour. i fixed it and hopped back to my quiz but the thing then asked for an access code(which i did not have). i emailed my professor and she responded like six anxious hours later and i was able to complete it. she made a checklist in canvas and made it a quiz, one of the things on the checklist was to complete the quiz i needed an access code for. strangely, only the checklist quiz was the one that was due that evening, the prerequisite one wasn't due until wednesday night. that was most of my first day aside from making sure that none of my other classes needed my immediate attention.

that night i picked up my printer from the store and ran up to the campus to purchase the correct textbook. they gave me loose leaf but lucky for having a mother who is a teacher we have a ton of spare binders laying around so i just used one of those.

day #2

slept in a little since i had so much spare time the previous day to be anxious over an email. i woke up at 10:00am and did my weights and morning routine and all that whatever. i went through my english and federal government pages on canvas. my government prof is delightful, she just had a baby and is uploading audio lectures. i think im in the odd selection i fucking love lectures. im an auditorial learner and i like listening to true crime documentaries or spooky stories while im doing housework

✨multitasking baby✨

so yeah i did that stuff and then i took a shower around 2:00pm and just did work until it was time for me to head out to psych class. man. my psych professor is fucking awesome. he's some chill dad-energy dude trying to keep the class light. speaking of light- theres like fifteen people in my class MAX. most of which are moms and nursing students which is interesting. i am literally the only person in this class who is shooting for psych major, prof seemed to get all giddy when seeing there was something who was doing the class out of interest and not as a prerequisite. i actually want to have a good relationship with one of my teachers for a change, he's not snooty at all so thats nice. we took a lil quiz and i got a 14/20 which was one of the better scores in the room, i knew most of the cases that were vaguely referenced in the quiz, the one where they had volunteers get told to shock people was one of them. that was the best i've felt in a while, certainly regarding school. my mother and i went out and got pumpkin spice lattes afterwards, it was great :)

i'm letting myself off for the night, i chatted with a couple friends in different discord servers tonight, it's approx. 12:30am and i should go to bed, i want to get up on time tomorrow. of course my main two motives for getting up early are catching the philza stream and being near the door when my chair for the office arrives.

night guys, may things continue to get easier ♡

#college #psych student #psych class #studyblr #mental health #university #freshmen year #first days #new studyblr #psychology class #study #college updates #it went well!!

0 notes

ohioload211 · 4 years ago

Text

Lightshot For Mac Download

Download Lightshot for free. Download for Windows. Download for Mac. Lightshot downloads. Install lightshot in your most advanced Mac OS X operating system. Capture screen images and share them via Facebook and Twitter with your Macintosh. Mac hotkey is ⇧⌘ 9. LightShot Download (Latest) for Windows 10, 8, 7 – This LightShot App installation file is absolutely not hosted on our Server. Whenever you click the “ Download ” hyperlink on this web page, files will downloading directly from the owner sources Official Website.

Screenshots come in handy to show something that’d be harder to explain in words. You may have spotted them in tutorials, software reviews, tech support troubleshooting, or when you want to share your screen image and save snippets that you can’t easily print.

While you can take a screenshot on your computer using the native screen capturing tools and keyboard shortcuts, a time comes when your requirements get more advanced. That’s when you turn to specialized screen capturing tools.

Most free screenshot tools are available for Windows. That's why we are going an extra mile to get a few good ones for Mac owners as well.

We have compiled the five free screenshot tools you can use to get you started.

Also on Guiding Tech

How to Easily Take Screenshots and Video Recordings of Your Desktop Using Snip

1. Skitch

This screenshot tool from the folks at Evernote performs screen capture and markup among other tasks, and edit the image too.

You can annotate screenshots with arrows, shapes, text, and stamps, perform basic cropping without using an external image editor, and save them in eight formats, which includes PNG, JPEG, GIF, and more.

Also included is the camera mode feature for taking selfies with your webcam, and then dress it up with a host of editing tools including call-outs, highlights, pixellation to blur personal information and more.

After that, you can share your creations via social media accounts, AirDrop, FTP, or Notes.

Skitch isn't without its drawbacks, though. From my time with this tool, I've found that I can't open more than one image at a time to annotate or edit.

For Mac, it's also not possible to save snaps to the local drive; the export command is used instead.

Download Skitch

2. Monosnap

This free screen capturing program only lets you snap full screen or a selected area, and it comes with a few good enhancements. So what if may not have capture options as robust as Skitch? It's still mighty useful.

The few of the coolest features are a timer, auto upload selection that captures screenshots and sends them automatically to FTP or cloud storage, screen recording captures, and selfie mode.

Its powerful editor lets you annotate your image using text, lines, arrows, cropping, drawings, and even redact personal or sensitive information. If you want a sneak peek of your snaps, the Preview feature lets you do that with the click of a button.

You can also rename your snaps and keep them in order before saving them as JPG or PNG files, and share them if you want on social media.

Monosnap is available for Windows and Mac, or you can download the Chrome extension and use it in your browser.

Download Monosnap

Also on Guiding Tech

#screenshots='bp-purple>

Click here to see our screenshots articles page

3. ShareX

ShareX is a free screenshot tool (for Windows), but it isn’t as simple as using the native options for Windows or Mac. If you’re able to work your way around its interface though, you’ll find an extensive array of useful tools buried somewhere in its slightly messy interface.

The lord of the rings the battle for middle-earth ii download mac. Besides the different capture techniques like choosing specific regions, windows, or monitors, you can select from a variety of shapes and capture the particular area you want.

Once you’re done, you can edit using the in-house image editor. Apart from that, the editor lets you annotate, pixelate, add text, shapes, and more to your snap.

The “Scrolling Capture” option so you can screenshot a long document in any application, or capture any web address using the Webpage Capture tool.

ShareX also lets you add watermarks, blur personal or sensitive information, copy, upload, and even shorten and share the links to the images wherever you want.

It integrates with a spread of cloud storage services, and online services like Flickr, Imgur, and more than 80 other destinations.

Download ShareX

4. Lightshot

Like Monosnap, this tool lives in your system tray until you’re ready to use it.

The app packs a miniature editor for adding notes, annotations, and highlights to your snaps. After that, you can upload them to printscm.com where you can backup and share them via links.

Monosnap is an easy to use, and lightweight but is heavily loaded. The only drawback I found is that all screenshots uploaded to the cloud are open to the public. https://ohioload211.tumblr.com/post/657066366900289536/download-discord-for-mac. So it’s easy for others whom you shared links with to access your snaps with a few tweaks to the URL.

Download Lightshot

5. Nimbus Capture: Screenshot

Nimbus Capture is a free, browser-based screenshot tool you can use on Chrome or Firefox, but also as an application for Windows and Mac.

With the help of Paragon Mac Toolbox, users can write, copy, edit or delete files on Microsoft NTFS-formatted drives from Mac or read and write files on APFS- or HFS+ formatted HDD, SSD or flash drive from your PC. Its brilliant features enable developers to access different file systems without panic switching of OSs or platforms. Ntfs paragon for mac download free.

It can capture fullscreen, an entire webpage, or selected region depending on what you want. Like other tools listed here, Nimbus Capture also offers annotation and editing tools. Also, you get a special markup tools like number stamps which can be useful for tech support tutorials or other things.

After editing the screenshots, you can print them or save to your clipboard, drive, or cloud storage for easy sharing.

A desktop version is available that offers screencasting for video recording based on the desired section of your screen, which you can access from your iOS device or the web.

Download Nimbus Capture

Also on Guiding Tech

3 Useful Chrome Extensions to Capture Screenshot of a Webpage

Take Better Screenshots

Windows and Mac may have their native screenshot tools, but when you need more advanced features to annotate and edit your snaps, you can always choose any of the five listed here. The best part is they’re free to download and use, so you’re sure to find something that’ll fit your needs.

We’d love to hear your recommendations on other free screenshot tools you use that didn’t make it to our list. Tell us in a comment below.

Next up: Want to capture scrolling screenshots on your Mac? Here are some of the best apps to take scrolling screenshots on macOS.

Download wget for mac os. I update mac to Sierra, 10.12.3. My wget stop working. When I tried to install by typing. Brew install wget -with-libressl I got the following warning. Warning: wget-1.19.1 already installed, it's just not linked. Then tried to unsintall by typing. Brew uninstall wget -with-libressl Then I reinstalled by typing. Brew install wget. Express VPN Best for privacy. Number of IP addresses: 30,000 Number of servers: 3,000+ 3 months free with 1-year plan. Install wget on Mac OS X. In simple words, it is a command to download file from a given URL and port. Most Linux users and some windows users are familiar to this handy command download tool and on most Linux distributions it is pre-installed, but on Max OSX it. There are many alternatives to Wget for Mac if you are looking to replace it. The most popular Mac alternative is aria2, which is both free and Open Source.If that doesn't suit you, our users have ranked 48 alternatives to Wget and many of them are available for Mac so hopefully you can find a.

The above article may contain affiliate links which help support Guiding Tech. However, it does not affect our editorial integrity. The content remains unbiased and authentic.Read NextTop 4 Amazing Tools to Capture Scrolling Screenshots on macOSAlso See#screenshots #macos

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