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maccreadysimp · 3 years

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breaking down this anti-ian article bc it bothers me ( from the child of a bipolar mother and a male teen with same sex attraction ) while also providing valid reasons ian sucks ( from someone who likes ian )

ive had this drafted for a while so i dont think i cover anything from season 11

tw for i^cest and r^pe

he was with a married man

in this point it points out that he was with kash and he continued his relationship with kash even after linda put cameras in the store

“Ian didn't seem to care about how wrong his affair with Kash was or how much it could hurt Kash's wife Linda, whom he saw at the store regularly. “

that is a quote from that part.

ian gallagher was fifteen in season one, kash was an older man who bought him gifts and payed attention to ian ,, that was not on ian , none of that was ian fault because he was a child

ian wasnt open with lip

“ Ian didn't tell Lip about his preferences and forced Lip to figure it out on his own. Lip was instantly accepting of his brother's truth and even offered to help him figure out any confusion he might be harboring, so it's really strange that Ian wasn't just upfront with his closest confidant from the start.”

no , lip wasnt forced to figure it out on his own and he also wasn’t instantly accepting.

in this point it mentions that ‘they’re extremely close ( bestfriends and brothers ) so its strange ian didnt tell him’

like point 1 , ian is a fifteen year old boy, growing up on the southside , and thoughout the show it has mentioned multiple times that the southside isnt that accepting

back to lip -- lip wasnt accepting, sure he was fine but ‘helping your younger brother figure it out’ by having a (female) classmate give him a blowjob isnt helping

he secretly dated his best friends brother

“Most friends have an unspoken rule about not dating each other's siblings, but Ian broke this rule by secretly entering into a relationship with Mandy's closeted brother Mickey.”

the only thing i have to say about this is , he was still with kash and mickey was a boy in his age group who was gay , growing up in the southside ian probably thought he was the token gay so of course hes going to chase after mickey

he stood by as kash attacked mickey

“Ian didn't do anything to stop Kash from shooting his new lover, and didn't even tell the police about his boss' over-the-top display of jealous action so proper justice could be served.”

okay. because two men he had fallen for had gotten into a fight, there was a gun involved and he panicked, in the end after mickey got shot he went to him

now to address the quote, he didnt say anything to the police because he probably knew that that would bring shame onto kash and his family, along with mickey and his family who are very homophobic

oh yeah and it was like 2011 and cops suck and THEY LIVE ON THE SOUTHSIDE

he and lip tried framing terry milkovich

oh the homophobic and racist dad of his boyfriend and bestfriend who tried to kill him and r*ped his daughter ?

yeah , shit man , that was real bad they shouldn’t have done that /s

he dated jimmy-steves married father

“Ian didn't bother telling Jimmy the truth about his father and didn't end his relationship with Lloyd upon finding out that he had a secret wife and family, either.”

at this point ian is probably sixteen but that doesnt matter bc i wont even address that

he met him at a club and then used his relationship with ned to make mickey jealous which was one of the reasons he kept seeing him, he didnt tell jimmy-steve about the relationship or his father bc he shouldnt find out from him he should find out from his father , again like kash, ned was an older man who payed attention to ian and ned later did develop feelings feelings for ian

he stole lips identity to enlist in the army

he enlisted because he didnt know what to do with himself, its implied/stated that the army timeline was the start of his bipolar

“While impersonating Lip, Ian had tried to steal a helicopter and then proceeded to go AWOL.”

this is because of the bipolar he suffers from, it is referenced later in the series after he gets back and hes manic

ian refused to accept being bipolar

of course he didnt accept it, it is made very clear that his family thinks lowly of monica so of course if hes the lucky duck to get what his siblings demonize her for, of course he’ll not want to be it

“He refused to take medications that could alter his personality or mood.”

okay. this is why im making this whole post, this goes along with part 15 ( or so idk ) ,,

my mother , my dear mother, who is bipolar and doesnt take her meds because they are mood altering , my mom doesnt take med because she told me once that they make her feel like shit, she told me that a little after i was born she started taking them but realized she felt nothing, she felt nothing for my dad or for i ( making her numb )

she told me anti deppresents dont help either because when shes on them and manic it pushes her past productive and into angry

my dad told me that when my mom was on bi polar medication she would seem angry most of the time

he wasnt faitful to mickey

“Ian's bipolar disorder made him very reckless and impulsive and led him to be unfaithful.”

lets break that down.

ians. bipolar. disorder.

this plot point i actually didnt like, mainly bc ian never addresses it so ill give the article a point. but then i take away 2 because they have more of a problem with his bipolar messing with him rather than the fact he never apologized and they never worked it out

ian stole yevgeny

before i start quoting i should mention because his boyfriend, who has supported and helped him is suddenly telling him he needs help, he was helping raise yev so he’ll see yev as his own

“Ian failed to recognize just how crazy he was acting...”

cuting you off right there , he was in a bipolar state, he wasnt ‘crazy’ and isnt ‘crazy’

he cant even keep count of his number of partners

just slutshaming i see

he helped throw frank off a bridge

“His relationship with Frank was understandably never the same after that, as Frank struggled to get over this act of betrayal and cruelty.”

‘was never the same after that’ frank never liked ian, ian was probably his least favorite and that point is very apparent

also , it wasnt just ian , his siblings and his boyfriend caleb

he left a healthy relationship to be with mickey

he fell in love with mickey at 15 , mickey was a comfort and always someone to fall back on, when mickey was taken away and no longer in the picture his heart still obviously was with mickey and when mickey came back he didnt know what to do

he told mickey he had a boyfriend but because mickey has been such a constant in his life he finally has back of course he couldnt resist

he liked trevor, i could tell he did but trevor wasnt the one he watched get r^ped by a russian prostitute, he wasnt the one ian was secretly dating bc it would be a death wish other wise, he wasnt the one there when ian was manic or depressive ( at the start )

he tried blackmailing an old client for money

“Instead of raising the money in an honest manner, Ian chose to visit an old client from his time working at the Fairy Tail and blackmail him into funding the shelter.”

because he felt indebted to trevor and wanted to make it up to him, it would have taken longer to do it in ‘an honest manner’ when his sister would have gotten it instead, he knew how much gay youths like he once was needed a safe place

“He grew up wanting to be nothing like his father, but this whole money-making scheme was straight out of the Frank playbook”

because thats all he knows, he grew up with that ‘playbook’ so of course hes going to take a page out of it, he is nothing like frank , franks money making schemes are selfish and for his own greed while ian wanted the money to help build a safe space for lgbt youth

he let fame inflate his ego

of course he did, hes a southside kid who was destined to fail

also it is very apparent that during the gay jesus era he went off his medication which didnt help

“Before long, he just completely forgot about his ex and focused solely on being a deity”

as much as yes, he did let it mess with his head, he was trying to still help lgbt youth and was going against anti gay churchs , in the end it didnt work out for him because he was off his meds and went over board

he stopped taking his meds

see previous point and ‘ian refused to accept being bipolar’

he actually wanted to stay in prison

because he was doing good in there

ian was helping others and was spreading awareness about lgbt with in the prison , and as him and jail scenes go , we can see people were listening to him and he was trying to make it safe sane and consensual

he let down his army of followers

“Ian admitted that most of his actions were completely irrational and the mere results of his bipolar disorder.”

he didnt want to, we can see this, because he knew he would let down everyone, his family were the only ones to ever ground him and they knew it would be the best option for his own mental health

during the gallavich wedding we can see that a lot of his supporters still have his back because they must know how hard it was for him to put all of that success on something he can’t control

he constantly wasted his potential

this is actually the only point in this article i actually agree with , so only 1/20 i agree with

his relationship with mickey wasn’t actually great

“Mickey spent the first several years of their relationship denying his feelings for Ian.”

he was raised by a homophobic and racist father who he knew would react the way he did when terry had caught the two that one day

“Even after he finally embraced his true self, Ian's bipolar disorder kept them from becoming truly happy together.”

yes but mickey was there for him the entire time and helped him through it, he told him he loved him which was really big for him and did his best to care for him

“They couldn't seem to remain faithful to each other for more than a few weeks.”

back to the point about ians bipolar but for mickey he wanted monogamy , now that scene in s11 may say otherwise but it is very clear that he wants a monogamous relationship with ian and ian ( after getting help ) wants one too, and in the later seasons they are monogamous

“When Mickey asked Ian to run away to Mexico with him, Ian refused.”

he wanted to, it’s obvious, but ian has his family and didnt want to abandon them again, i think part of him knew he would see mickey again because they always find eachother, he gave mickey all of his money and wanted mickey to have a good life

“Their relationship was simply never healthy.”

no it wasnt, but thats why the ship is great in its own way, the gay closet kid raised by a homophobic man is obviously going to have a lot of baggage , and ian who is bipolar and struggling with himself will also have a lot of baggage , but in the end they love eachother and that really shows in season five and season seven specifically

that is all lol ,,, this is long sorry

now, i am not a ian apologist , i love ian but hes a dumbass sometimes

actual valid reasons ian sucks

genuinely believes frank is worse than terry

yes frank was definitely abusive but terry is definitely worse ,,

mentally/physically/sexually abusive , the whole nine yards

terry hired a prostitute to r^pe his son , threatened to kill him and ian on multiple occasions , r^ped his daughter who ended up pregnant and is actively racist

frank on the other hand will make gay jokes but in the end doesnt give enough of a shit , he has attacked his children on multiple occasions but not to the brutality that terry has ( this isnt me excusing it )

sorry ian , terry is worse

never apologized

he never apologized for all the shit he put mickey and his family through, never apologized to mickey for cheating on him , never apologized for all the manic and depressive episodes mickey endured with him

never apologized for walking away when he couldn’t handle it, in hall of shame mickey actually acknowledges this saying ‘its youre whole MO’

debbies sexuality

he has constantly made statements saying debbie isnt gay and that bothers me because , why does it care ? as a gay man and as a gay man who soent time with a lot of lgbt youth wouldnt he support his sister even if shes just ‘experimenting’?

in the recent season he doesnt seem to care and doesn’t say anything but it still bothers me

mickey only getting like 80% of his heart

okay look , i get what ian means when he says this , everyones hes been with has made him who he is but fucking hell dude ,, shut up , thats your husband , thats the love of your life you shouldnt be saying shit like that , especially to him

and then this man had the audacity to say mickey probably feels the same about past flings when he knows that ian is the only one hes probably ever been with/serious about

obviously there is probably more but those are the main ones that come to mind

—

before anyone brings up the trans or bi thing im going to explain my thought process for him

like ive probably mentioned multiple times he grew up southside and obviously only ever grew up with lgb and not t ,, trevor did inform him a lot and ian became supre accepting of everyone,, sexual preference isnt transphobic but i do think he approached the matter badly

now the bi thing , legit all i think is that he doesnt hate bisexual people its just that the man he really liked slept with a woman and never expressed any heterosexual attraction so it probably just suprised him and pissed him off because caleb did cheat on ian

—

if you read this far HOLY SHIT THANKS LOL ,, im not adding things that i think are pro about ian this was just me breaking down that article and giving my two cents :)

feel free to message me and talk to me or send me articles like this about any other character/relationship and i will totally break that one down too lol

thanks for letting me rant

#mine #shameless #ian gallgher #gallavich #mickey milkovich #text post

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chlorue · 4 years

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her two favorite people

let’s get emotional, emotional

Pairing: Fiona Gallagher & Ian Gallagher & Lip Gallagher

Description: They ended up sleeping close together that night. Holding each other. Fiona snuggling Ian and Phillip like they were her favorite stuffed animals. They were woken up by the sound of things being thrown. Yelling. Screaming. Then nothing. Then a slam. Ian clung to Fiona and Philip took her hand. She made her way to the bedroom door. Creaking it open, she called out into the house. “Mommy? Daddy?” No one answered her so she guessed the slam was them leaving to head to a bar. She turned to her brothers and nodded. Phillip sighed with some relief. Ian didn’t really know what was happening. Fiona hoisted the three year old onto her hip and they all made their way downstairs

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The first time Fiona woke up to her brothers crying was when she was 8. She woke to the sound of Ian crying from the next room. She rushed out of her bed. They were alone in that dark house. Their mommy and daddy were off buying drugs. Fiona walked a small ways down the dark hallway to the room he shared with Phillip. She cracked the door open to see the small ginger three year clinging to the five year old Phillip. “Hello?” She said in the smallest voice possible. They didn’t need to be quiet. No one was there but the three of them. But Fiona was scared of startling the small child.

“Fiona?” Phillip’s small voice came through. Ian was sniffing and trying to calm himself down. Fiona pushed the door wider. The light was dim and yellow. There was the same tiny bed she had tucked Ian into just 3 hours ago. She rushed to her brothers. She pulled them both into her embrace.

“What’s wrong with him?” Fiona pulled her smaller brother into her lap, brushing his head as he cried in her shoulder.

“I think he’s scared, I don’t really know?” Phillip sighed. Fiona may have been eight but her protective self had instantly kicked in. She held Ian tighter, whispering and shushing him, telling him it would be okay. She felt him clutch her brown curls.

“Are you okay?” She grabbed the blonde's hand. She felt angry and hurt. She was let down by mommy and daddy again. Her friends in her grade would talk about how their parents would hold them when they were scared. Mommy wouldn’t wake up sometimes if Ian slipped or Phillip cut himself. Fiona was there to help. She didn’t want to tell them about the fact the mommy and daddy were probably passed out in the living room. They needed Fiona. And she needs them.

“I don’t know? I’m scared.” Phillip sniffed. In the dim light she could see the tears starting to fall. Fiona leaned against the wall, pulling Phillip to her other shoulder. Ian had calmed down a little bit. Fiona felt safe. She was scared of what tomorrow would bring. Would she be walking Phillip to school with Ian in a stroller? Or would Daddy help? Would she go downstairs to see Mommy’s pills and bottles scattered across the coffee table? No one knew. But she knew one thing. Her two younger brothers were her main focus. Keeping them close to her was one thing she always knew. They were her favorite things. She remembers seeing both Phillip and Ian for the first time. She had never wanted to protect something more as a four year old.

They ended up sleeping close together that night. Holding each other. Fiona snuggling Ian and Phillip like they were her favorite stuffed animals. They were woken up by the sound of things being thrown. Yelling. Screaming. Then nothing. Then a slam. Ian clung to Fiona and Philip took her hand. She made her way to the bedroom door. Creaking it open, she called out into the house. “Mommy? Daddy?” No one answered her so she guessed the slam was them leaving to head to a bar. She turned to her brothers and nodded. Phillip sighed with some relief. Ian didn’t really know what was happening. Fiona hoisted the three year old onto her hip and they all made their way downstairs.

It was a mess and she was used to it. Beer bottles were everywhere and the coffee table was covered in cigarette butts and mommy’s empty pill bottles. She knew that Ian couldn’t be around this all day. That’s why on her way to taking herself and Phillip to school she would drop him off at Mrs. Conrad's house and she would babysit him till she got home. And when she got home she would help Phillip learn his numbers and ABCs while Ian sat in her lap playing with her bracelets.

The next time she feels protective of Lip and Ian, she is 12. They were sitting at the kitchen table helping each other with their homework while Debbie was sound asleep in a Pack-and-Play next to them. Ian was having trouble with his math and Lip was having a little trouble with reading comprehension. She looked up from her book to see Ian trying to balance a pencil on his nose. His hair was dark red now and his face was covered in freckles. She smiled and reached across to swat him. “Hey! Pay attention!”

Ian laughed and put his focus back on the worksheet in front of him. “So Fiona, if I just do this, will I get the right answer?” Ian asked, pushing his paper towards her. His handwriting was pretty okay for a seven year old. It was messy, but she could still read it. He was trying to solve a simple problem. 6 plus 8. She had told him a simple strategy to help him. She smiled at the work he was trying to do. He was already on the right track.

“Okay, if you do that, what do you think the answer is?” Fiona asked. Ian looked to be doing math in his head. Lip started to lean over. “Lip! No helping, he has to figure it out!” She swatted her other brother. He laughed and pulled away.

“Is the answer 14?” Ian said after counting on his fingers. Fiona nodded and his face lit up. That always brightened her mood. If she was having a crappy day, and they were sitting with each other, Ian’s face would light up at the slightest thing and would make Fiona’s day so much better. He high fived Lip and did the same with Fiona.

“And your rewards for finishing your homework is this chocolate bar I bought with a few bucks from Monica’s wallet.” She smirked and slid a Snickers across the table. The two boys broke into it immediately. She giggled as she watched them fight over who got the bigger half. They were always like this. They were brothers. The two were inseparable.

The moment was ruined as fast as it started. The front clicked as two stumbling voices broke the laughs coming from the kids. Frank and Monica were home, and they were drunk. Fiona realizes what’s going to happen and heads straight for Debbie. Fiona knew Monica had been off her meds for a few weeks. She knew what was happening with her. She was acting crazy and had so much energy. She almost dropped Debbie the other day. Frank was probably drunk and high. They were laughing as they stumbled into the kitchen.

Fiona was sitting in her chair again. Slowly, she rocked Debbie so she wouldn’t wake to the sounds. They didn’t seem to see the kids for 5 minutes. Fiona watched as they stumbled around trying to get food and shit from the kitchen. Frank kept asking Monica where she had some money. Finally, Monica noticed them. “Hi kids! We missed you!” Her words were slurred together. Frank groaned when he caught sight of them. “Say, Fiona, do you happen to have any money?” Monica leaned over the counter and smiled at her daughter. Fiona shook her head. Monica sighed and pointed her direction to Ian. “Ian, baby? You have a few bucks for mommy? I promise to use it wisely.” She tried to make puppy eyes to fool him. Fiona wasn’t having it.

“He’s seven! Lip is nine! We don’t have jobs, we don’t have a source of income, that’s what you guys are for. But No! You spend whatever job money you get on drugs. And not even the ones to help you! What kind of parent asks their seven year old kid for money. Honestly, it’s like you don’t even see us. You see wallets! We can’t help you. Sorry that we’re only kids without jobs.” Fiona let it all out on her. She had so many feelings. She stomped up the stairs and up to her and Debbie's room.

She wasn’t in there for long when her door flung open. She was engulfed in the warm embrace of Lip. Ian soon joined in. She sobbed a little into her brother's shoulder. “Are you okay?” Lip pulled away. She nodded and wiped her tears. Monica never stays for too long. She comes to mooch on whatever she can. She took whatever she could. Fiona recalled the last time she left. Fiona was 5, Ian had just been born, and Lip was too young to remember. She remembered asking Daddy where mommy was. Frank never told her because he never cared about her feelings.

“Do you think she’ll stay?” Ian asked in his soft voice. Fiona wasn’t going to start lying to her two favorite people in the world. Fiona shook her head and took Ian and Lip's hands. “We’ll stay with you.” Ian gave her a small smile.

She gave a wet laugh and smiled. “Thanks. You guys are the best. I love you.” Fiona pulled them into another hug and they both clung to her as if the world was ending. Monica left again that morning. But that didn’t matter to her, Ian and Lip mattered to her.

The next time, she felt protected by her brothers. She was 17 and had just dropped out of high school. She had to. She had to raise Debbie, Carl, and Liam. She knew she couldn’t do that and juggle school, even with Ian and Lip’s help. She was sitting in her room, hugging her pillow close and looking at her old journals. The door slid open to reveal the 12 year Ian holding a beer in his hands. “Wanna share?” He smiled. The smile made everything seem better. She nodded and he made his way into the room.

She snaked her arm around him as he sat down next to her. “How you doin’ sweetface? Feelin’ better?” She asked, starting to feel Ian’s forehead. He had been a little sick the past few days. She had been hanging out with him everyday, trying to make her feel better. He nodded and laid his head on her shoulders. He sighed and focused his sight on the journals.

“Woah, Craig Heisner?” He exclaimed when he spotted the heart doddle with his name in it. Fiona flustered up and slammed the journal close causing Ian to start laughing. “No! Tell me about it!” He teased her. She pushed his head away and chuckled.

“Shut the fuck up, ass.” Fiona sighed. “He was just a guy who was way out of league.” She smiled and laid her head on his shoulder. He rested his jaw on her head, slowly twisting the curls in his hands.

“Nah, you were out of his league.” He kissed her head. Ian was always Fiona’s biggest fan and the same went for her. He always supported things she did. He was on board for her dropping out, even if Lip wasn’t. “But he sounds like a dick, and you deserve way better.” He rubbed her arm. They had become very close in the last few years. Ian was her rock. A person she could talk to. She knows he’s a little closer to Lip, but she just feels safe around him.

“Thanks.” She kissed his temple when pulling herself up. She knew that if Ian had come in when he did, she’d be sitting there for hours regretting her decision and crying about her big fight with Lip. They sat there for a few minutes in the silence trading the beer between them. Then the door opened again. It was Lip.

“Hey, I wanted to apologize.” Lip scooted himself into the room. “I yelled at you, and that was a shitty thing for me to do. You’re just trying to help the family, and I shouldn’t be mad at that.” He looked at her waiting for an ‘I forgive you’, Fiona smiled wide.

“Get in here!” Was her forgiveness. Lip smiled and threw himself into the bed. He crawled into Fiona's other arm and settled in pretty quickly.

“Hey, did you know Fi had a crush on Craig Heisner?” Ian leaned over to Lip.

Fiona lightly swatted his head. “Ian!” He pulled back and laughed. They all did. She was sitting here with the two people who got her the best. Her two most favorite things in the world.

Fiona sat in her New York apartment looking at her phone. She was on her daily call with Ian and Lip. They had agreed to do this after Ian got out of prison. They all lived in separate houses so they had a set time to call each other. Ian was rambling about something cute Franny did with Mickey, Lip was setting in his own stories with Fred. She sat on the top of her counter eating some toast and scrolling through her camera roll. She came across a picture from a Halloween party when she was 25. Ian and Lip’s heads were on her shoulders making funny faces and she was looking off into the distance.

The picture was taken before they all started fighting. They fought out of love. Siblings always fight, especially when they know each other so well. Fiona was so relieved when Ian didn’t punch her when she went to visit him. He comforted her, like he always did. She was happy Lip and her left each other on good terms. He would text her and make sure she got to a meeting that day. She would call him whenever she felt like a drink and then they’d end up talking for hours, sometimes annoying Ian who was trying to hang out with his husband. Fiona smiled at the picture and sent to their groupchat with a simple good night and I love you and hung up with phone.

Her two favorite people, in the whole fucking world.

word count: 2331

#shameless fic #shameless us #shameless #ian gallagher #fiona gallagher #lip gallagher #angst #angst with a happy ending #my fic #my wriitng #all mistakes are my own

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alexisrosemullens · 4 years

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you are the one (designed for me)

Summary: Everyone has a timer that countdowns until you meet your soulmate. When you meet them, it turns into an infinity sign. The Gallaghers have bad luck with their soulmates, especially Ian whose soulmate left when he needed him the most.

Chapter One: time is moving slow

Ian steps into the bitter air, pulling his gloves and hat on, making sure the hat covers his ears. He barely glances at the 00:00:00 tattoo on his right wrist nowadays and today is no exception as he makes sure his gloves cover his wrists. He wraps the scarf around his neck, tucks his scarf into his jacket, zips up the jacket, and takes off down the street, focusing on staying warm in the brutal Chicago winter.

Ian dreads meeting up with Lip for their weekly breakfast. Lip’s going to talk all about his soulmate most of time anyway, leaving Ian feeling miserable. He’s happy for his brother, he really is. Lip’s soulmate is actually working out; unlike Ian’s and Fiona’s.

He passes by several couples on his way to Patsy’s, holding hands and smiling. He can’t help but wonder if they were soulmates, the unmatched, or those like Ian whose soulmates left them and decided to live life without them. Ian snorts at the thought of his soulmate and keeps walking, trying his best to ignore the couples and secretly hoping it doesn’t work out. He’s feeling very cynical lately. He guesses three years without a soulmate does that.

Ian makes it to Patsy’s and shakes the snow off, hanging up his jacket and scarf. Lip waves at him at their regular booth and Ian wants to roll his eyes at the site of the infinity tattoo on his brother’s right wrist. He walks over, taking his gloves off and stuffing them in his pockets then sits across from Lip, immediately taking a sip of the coffee in front of him, trying to warm his body temperature up.

“God, it’s freezing out,” he says, setting the coffee down and rubbing his hands together. “And it’s not much warmer in the house.”

“Did you guys forget to pay the electric bill again? ‘Cause if you need the money, I can pitch in,” Lip offers, going to pull out his wallet.

Ian shakes his head, stopping him. “We’re fine. We paid it. On time too.”

“That’s a Gallagher first.”

Ian laughs, nodding. “Fiona and I think the heater might be going out soon but we just can’t swing it right now.”

“If it goes out, call me,” Lip insists. “I can’t have you guys freezing to death.”

Ian rolls his eyes. “Yes, Dad.” Lip glares at him, hating that Ian just compared him to Frank but Ian loves it. He loves teasing Lip and calling Lip dad whenever Lip tries to take of them.

Lip is a special Gallagher. He’s the only one that has gotten out of the South Side. He’s currently in school for engineering and already has a job lined up with his internship. He helps Fiona and Ian out when they let him. They are still at the Gallagher house raising their younger siblings, trying to give them a better childhood than they did. Lip sends them a check once a week and promises once he has a full time job, he’ll get them out of South Side. Fiona made Lip promise to get Debbie, Carl, and Liam out before her and Ian. She says they're too old to have their brother help them but Lip knows she's just too proud.

Lip met his soulmate, Ella, almost a year ago. He bumped into her in the lobby of his internship that he works at during his summer and winter breaks. His sleeve was pulled down and he didn’t realize she was his soulmate. He walked away from her after apologizing for running into her. She ran after him, pulling his sleeve up and showed him the infinity sign that had formed. She asked him to coffee and he agreed. Lip fell in love with her almost instantly. She was funny, smart, kind, and knew what it was like to be poor. They hit it off immediately. It took him months before he got around to bringing her over to meet his siblings and only did so because he got annoyed with Fiona’s constant begging. Ella immediately fit right in to his crazy, loud family. He is currently the only Gallagher who’s soulmate hasn’t left him and it’s actually working out.

Lip runs a hand through his hair, his tattoo flickering. Ian glances at it then averts his eyes. He inadvertently pulls down the sleeve of his shirt. The infinity sign was torturing him. Lip notices his brother’s reaction and drops his hand quickly.

“You know, you could join a support group for those who lost their soulmates,” Lip says. It isn’t the first time Lip has brought it up and it definitely won’t be the last. He's always mentioned it but he started mentioning it a lot more when he met Ella. He is driving Ian nuts with it.

Ian scoffs at the idea. “Aren’t those for people whose soulmates died and not ones whose soulmates thought they were too much to handle?”

Lip shrugs. “You’ll never know if you don’t try.”

“I’m fine, Lip,” Ian assures him for the countless time. “I’m in a good place right now. Just a little bitter, that’s all.”

“It’s been three years, Ian, and you have yet to move past this. It’s not healthy.”

Ian motions one of the waitresses over, putting an end to the conversation. Lip just didn’t get it. Lip’s soulmate wants to be with him. She doesn’t think he’s damaged.

Soulmates don’t always work out the way Fiona painted it when they were little. Lip and Ian would curl up in Fiona’s too small bed and she would tell them all these amazing stories about soulmates. People that would watch the time on their wrist, watching the countdown, waiting to see who that person is when it reaches zero, then watching the time change to an infinity sign. Ian would trace the numbers on Fiona’s wrist, imagining the day he would meet his soulmate.

As they grew older, they realized the infinity sign didn’t always mean forever. The infinity sign would change back if one of the soulmates leaves. They saw it first hand with Frank and Monica. Monica would leave constantly and their tattoos would change each time she left. Instead of building each other up, they tore each other down. Then they saw it again with Fiona, saw that it almost broke her.

But then there were the soulmates where the infinity signs never changed. Kevin and Veronica were the one good example of this in Ian’s life. Their tattoos never faded, they stayed as clear as ever.

Having a countdown tattoo on your wrist could be very stressful at times. Some people hated it and would end up covering the tattoo, leaving their first meeting up to fate. Most looked forward to watching the time go down and get closer to meeting the one, curious to see who that person is when the countdown reaches zero.

Lip changes the conversation after the waitress takes their order but the new conversation is all about Lip and his soulmate. Ian tries to keep a happy front, he really does. He forces smiles and nods, making comments here and there. When it gets to be too much, he finishes his breakfast and coffee and stands up.

“I gotta go. My shift starts soon,” he says, pulling out his wallet.

“I got it, man,” Lip stops him and pays like always.

“Thanks, man.”

“Hey, wait.” Lip pulls a pamphlet out of his back pocket and hands it to Ian.

Ian groans at the title, So you lost your Soulmate?. “Seriously?”

“Just think about it.”

“Fuck you,” Ian says, flipping Lip off before walking away.

His favorite coworker and partner, Sue, greets him when he walks into the station. He nods at her, heading to his locker. He takes off his big winter jacket and changes into his EMT button down and his EMT jacket, stuffing the stupid pamphlet into the locker, hoping they’re get lost with the others. He heads back to the front where Sue is sitting in the ambulance.

“Morning, Gallagher,” she greets, handing him a cup of tea. “How was your breakfast with your dick of a brother?”

“He wouldn’t shut up about his stupid soulmate and when he wasn’t talking about her, he was trying to convince me to go to a stupid support group,” Ian grumbles. “Gave me another fucking pamphlet.”

Sue laughs, clapping Ian on the shoulder. “He’s still in the honeymoon phase. It’s been what? A year? I was like that the first year with Jim. I wanted everyone to feel what I was feeling and be happy.”

“Yeah, but I did have that. For a little while at least,” Ian mumbles, looking down.

“Jesus, sorry, kid. I didn’t mean it like that,” Sue backtracks, squeezing Ian’s shoulder. “But he just wants you to be happy without your soulmate. And you can be.”

A call comes in, breaking up the conversation. Ian jumps up, getting the ambulance ready before Sue says anything else. Sue drives quickly to the call and is barely in park when Ian jumps out of the ambulance, his bag over his shoulder.

Ian rushes into Albi, pushing past the regulars. He makes his way to the where Kevin and Veronica are waiting for him.

“Hey, Ian,” V greets, smiling at him. They lead him to the back room where Mickey Milkovich is sitting on top of the freezer, his hand wrapped in what Ian is sure use to be a white towel.

“What happened?” Ian asks, pushing past V to get to Mickey.

“I’m fine,” Mickey mumbles, trying to push Ian away.

“Yeah, the now red towel attests to that,” V snorts. “He cut his hand while pulling a bottle out of a box. Didn’t know it was broken until he hissed and pulled out a bloody hand.”

“It’s just a fucking scratch,” Mickey protests when Ian pulls off the towel.

“You got injured on the job. We can’t take any chances,” Kev says. “We’ve been in enough trouble. You can help, right?”

Ian hums and nods at the comments, cleaning up Mickey’s wounds so he can get a better look at the cut. He knows of Mickey through his sister Mandy. They hung out some when Mandy was Ian’s beard but stopped when Mickey dropped out, got married, and had a kid. Ian still keeps up with Mandy but only sees Mickey when he comes to the Albi every once in a while. “It’s pretty deep, Mickey, you need stitches.”

“I’m not going to a fucking hospital,” Mickey snatches his hand away from Ian and applies more pressure on it to try to stop the bleeding himself.

“You’re getting stitches, Milkovich,” V threatens, giving him at look that Ian knows she uses when the twins aren’t behaving.

Ian hums, turning to look at Sue. She shrugs, leaning against the door, her way of letting him know that she doesn’t care. Ian turns back to Mickey, taking his hand again and looking at the cut. “I can do them here.”

Mickey lets out a breathe then nods. He glares at Kev and V, who take it as a sign to leave.

Ian shifts, grabbing his bag and pulling out all the things he needs. He grabs some alcohol wipes and cleans the wound, causing Mickey to suck in a breath. “Sorry,” he mumbles, cleaning up the blood that has dried on Mickey’s right hand where Mickey had use to try to stop the bleeding. His eyes flicker to Mickey’s 00:00:00 tattoo before getting back to work on his left hand.

Ian quickly stitches him up and wraps his hand up. “You need to change your bandage tomorrow,” he tells him, standing up. “And I will know if you don’t.”

Mickey scoffs. “Yeah, how’s that?”

Ian looks down at him, raising his eyebrows, giving him a look to say he will call Mandy.

“Fine. I’ll change it. Happy?” Mickey rolls his eyes, standing up.

Ian nods, grinning slightly. He steps back, leaving Sue to hand Mickey the paperwork. Mickey quickly signs and shoves it back into Sue’s hand. Ian shifts his bag on his shoulder, turning to leave.

“Hey.”

Mickey’s voice stops him, forcing him to look back and raise his eyebrows at him.

“Thanks,” Mickey says.

Ian smiles, nodding then turning around.

The rest of Ian’s shift is uneventful. He tells Sue goodbye then heads back out into the cold, bundling back up. The living room light of the Gallagher house is still on, telling him that Fiona is waiting up for him. Ian stomps the snow of his boots on the porch then heads inside, engulfed in warmth when he opens the door. He pulls off all the many layers then collapses on the couch next to Fiona.

“Rough shift?” she asks, handing him part of the blanket she is bundled up in.

He shakes his head, curling up in the blanket. “Not really. The most exciting part was giving Mickey Milkovich stitches.”

“He willingly let you do that?” Fiona asks, surprised.

Ian shrugs. “Kev and V sort of didn’t give him a choice since he was injured on the job.” Ian pulls the blanket up to his chin, trying to warm up. “V gave him her mom stare.”

Fiona laughs. “It is pretty scary.”

Ian hums, looking up at the TV show Fiona is watching. When it doesn’t catch his eye, he turns back to Fiona. “Kids in bed?”

“Yeah, finally. Debbie had a book report and was working on it pretty late but she ended up giving up a few minutes ago.”

“Good. So Lip gave me a fucking pamphlet today.”

“Let me guess. It’s the So you lost your Soulmate? one?” Fiona asks.

Ian nods. Fiona burst out laughing, leaning forward to grab something off the coffee table. She leans back, throwing the same pamphlet in his lap.

“That fucker,” Ian mumbles, grabbing the pamphlet and opening it up.

“He dropped it off this afternoon when he dropped of Liam. He tried to give me the whole speech and everything but I shoved him out the door,” Fiona tells him.

Ian laughs, flinging the pamphlet away when he sees a picture of a smiling couple. “He just can’t keep his nose out of our lives, can he?”

“He only wants what’s best for us,” Fiona says in a mocking tone causing Ian to laugh even harder.

They quiet down after hearing a small squeak up above them. Fiona focuses on her TV show while Ian plays with the blanket.

“Do you think maybe Lip’s right?” he asks quietly.

Fiona looks back at him, surprised.

“I mean it’s been three years for me. Almost seven for you,” Ian continues. “Maybe it’s time for us to move on. I mean, they aren’t coming back. They made that pretty fucking clear.”

Fiona makes a noise, pulling her right hand out of the blanket. She flips it over, looking at her wrist where the 00:00:00 tattoo matches Ian’s. Ian traces the numbers with his fingers, like he used to do when they were little and curled up in her bed. He intertwines their fingers, squeezing her hand. Fiona smiles softly, squeezing his hand and leaning her head against his shoulder.

“Ian? Fi?”

The two older siblings turn to find their younger brother at the foot of the stairs. Liam rubs his eyes, one of his pajama pants leg at his knee and only wearing one sock.

“Hey, I thought you were asleep,” Fiona says, sitting up and holding her arms out.

Liam immediately goes to her, climbing into her lap. Fiona covers him with a blanket, rubbing his arms to warm him up. Liam shakes her off, holding out his right arm to Ian. Ian gives him a questioning look so Liam pulls up his sleeves, showing his countdown.

“The wrapping came off in the shower. Can you cover it back up?” Liam asks.

“Yeah, bud,” Ian leans forward, kissing Liam’s head then gets up to go get his backpack.

After Ian’s soulmate left three years ago, Debbie took it upon herself to start covering up her countdown. She said she wanted to be surprised when she ran into her soulmate. She didn’t want a clock ticking down. Soon after, Carl and Liam also asked to have their countdowns covered. None of them got the sugarcoated version of soulmates like Lip and Ian did when they were younger. They saw quickly and at a very young age how soulmates can ruin another person. Ian’s pretty sure they just started covering it up in support of him and Fiona.

“There you go,” Ian says once he finishes wrapping up Liam’s wrist.

“Thanks,” he answers, rubbing his wrist. “The kids at school ask why I cover it up.”

“What did you tell them?” Fiona asks.

Liam shrugs. “That I don’t want to know when it happens so maybe I won’t be disappointed.”

Fiona sucks in a breath, looking at Ian. Ian gives her a knowing look and the guilt rushes over him. They are setting a bad example for their younger brother. “Hey,” Fiona starts, shifting Liam so he is in-between her and Ian. She wraps her arms around his shoulder, knocking her knee against his. “Soulmates can be wonderful things and sometimes it works out beautifully. Look at V and K. They’ve been together since they found each other. But you don’t need a soulmate to be happy.”

“But you and Ian aren’t happy,” Liam tells her.

“Who says we’re not?” Ian asks.

Liam shrugs. “I can tell.”

Ian looks at Fiona again, her face looking like he felt. “Just because Fiona and I aren’t with our soulmates, doesn’t mean we aren’t happy. It’s just-”

“Our soulmates didn’t leave us in good places,” Fiona finishes. “And it’s hard to recover from that but we’re working on it. Working on being happy. Okay?”

Liam nods. “Yeah, I know. I just don’t want you two to not find anyone because you’re too busy worrying about me.”

“Shit, he figured us out,” Ian teases, grinning at Fiona.

“We’ve been made,” Fiona joins in, tickling Liam.

Liam laughs, shrugging to get out of her grasp.

The next morning, Fiona corners Ian in the kitchen. “Lip’s right, we need to move on.” She hands him the pamphlet and another one Lip had given them a few weeks ago.

Ian sighs, taking the pamphlets out of her hands.

“They’re meeting today at noon,” Fiona says. “We should go.”

Ian looks down at the pamphlets then looks up, watching Liam eat his cereal with a thick bandage on his wrist. Debbie is standing in front of Carl, wrapping his wrist up in a bandage. Ian could see the edge of a bandage under Debbie’s long sleeve shirt. Ian sighs and nods. “Okay, I’ll meet you there.”

Fiona and Ian both go to support group but it ends up being a bad idea. Most of the people are those whose soulmates died not because they left them. The leader of the group notices Ian struggling during the meeting and tells him about a single’s group instead and that it’s meeting right after this one. Ian glances over his shoulder to tell Fiona but his sister is walking out the door with a guy on her arm. Ian rolls his eyes and stays for the single group.

The single’s group is a little bit better than the support group. There’s only one other gay guy and he immediately asks Ian to meet up. That’s how Ian finds himself in the Albi that Friday night waiting on the guy to show up.

“Gallagher,” Mickey greets when Ian sits down at the bar.

“Mickey,” Ian nods, asking for a beer.

“Waiting for your asshole brother?” Mickey asks, handing him a beer.

“Does no one actually like Lip?” Ian asks, confused. “Sue pretty much said the same thing the other day.”

“Nope. That dude’s a dick to everyone.”

Ian rolls his eyes. “I get it but no. I’m waiting for my well, I guess date.”

Mickey raises his eyebrows, crossing his arms “You’re not sure?”

“He’s from my single’s group,” Ian mumbles. “Hey! It’s better than support group!” Ian defends when Mickey starts laughing.

“Why the fuck did you join either one?” Mickey asks, grinning in amusement.

“Fiona and I are worried we’re setting a bad example with the kids,” Ian answers. When Mickey gives him a questioning look, he continues. “They keep their countdowns covered and Liam doesn’t want to be disappointed in his soulmate. He’s eight.”

Mickey whistles, straighten up. “Jesus, Frank and Monica really fucked you guys up.”

Ian shakes his head. “It wasn’t them.” He flips over his right wrist, showing off his zeros.

Mickey’s eyes flicker to them then back to Ian. “So? The whole soulmate concept is stupid. I’ve seen more cases where they don’t work out than the ones that do.”

“Yeah, not something you should tell an eight year old,” Ian mutters. He takes a sip of his beer and nods at Mickey’s left hand. “How’s the hand?”

Mickey holds up his still bandage-up hand. “I got the ex to change the bandages like you said. Ready for the stitches to be out.”

“I can look at it later and see how’s it healing. You need to be careful with it tonight and not tear the stitches out,” Ian tells him.

Mickey rolls his eyes at him. “Jesus Christ, you’re worse than V.”

Ian and Mickey continue to talk while Ian waits on his date. Mickey leaves him every so often to check on other customers and refill their drinks but he always makes his back to Ian. Over two hours later, Mickey looks at the watch. “I think you’ve been stood up, man.”

Ian looks down at his phone and groans. “Probably for the best. Lip isn’t going to be happy.”

“Not your fault the guy didn’t show.”

Ian shrugs. “Yeah, well.”

“Ian?”

Ian turns in his spot to see the tall, blond man from single’s group behind him. Blaine reaches his hand out. “I’m so sorry I’m late. My dog got away from me and I had to find him.”

“Oh, it’s no problem,” Ian shakes his hand then stands up, grabbing his beer. “Want to find a booth?”

“Yeah.”

Blaine orders a beer then follows Ian to a corner booth.

Thirty minutes later, Ian is back at the bar with an empty glass. Mickey walks over, taking the empty glass and filling it back up.

“Where’s the dude?” he asks. “What’s his name?” Mickey snaps his fingers, acting like he’s trying to remember Ian’s date’s name.

“Blaine,” Ian says, rolling his eyes. “Fucker ran off.”

Mickey raises his eyebrows, silently asking why.

Ian flips his wrist over, rubbing the zero tattoos. “I uh- told him about my bipolar disorder.”

“And that scared him off?” He has no reaction to Ian’s confession. Ian guesses he knows about his bipolar through Mandy.

Ian nods, drowning the beer. He sets the glass down, rubbing his head. “It’s a part of me and I’m not afraid of it anymore. I figured it would be better to be up front about it. I was wrong.”

“Fuck him, man.” Mickey places a bowl of mixed nuts in front of him and a glass of water, knowing Ian had his limit.

“Thanks,” he mumbles, taking a sip of water.

Ian wants to quit single’s group after the disaster of the blind date. Fiona tries to talk him out of it and Lip gives him another damn pamphlet. He rips the pamphlet up and quits the stupid single’s group. He doesn’t tell any of his siblings even though he knows Fiona would be supportive of his decision no matter what. Instead he spends those times at the Albi at the bar with Mickey.

Mickey and him develop a weird friendship over the weeks of Ian lying to his family. Ian even makes sure Mickey keeps his cut clean and takes the stitches out for him. Sometimes Ian thinks Mickey is flirting with him but then he remembers he was married to a woman and he must be seeing things.

One night, Ian is keeping Mickey company during his long shift at the Albi. He is sitting at his regular spot at the bar with a beer in hand, telling Mickey Debbie and Carl’s crazy antics this week when a small blur runs up.

“Daddy!” The blur squeaks and a small, blonde boy climbs up on the barstool, grinning up at Mickey. “Daddy, Mommy says I get to stay with you this weekend!”

Mickey raises his eyebrows, glancing at the front door where his ex-wife is walking in. “Yeah, you do. What’s our plans?”

“Stay up all night, watch movies, read, and eat candy!” The boy grins.

“Yevgeny, don’t run off like that again,” Svetlana scolds when she makes her way over to the bar.

“Sorry, Mommy.” The boy pouts, his eyes wide.

“I told you to drop him off after my shift. What’s he going to do for two hours?” Mickey asks, crossing his arms.

“You figure it out. I must work,” Svetlana retorts. She kisses Yevgeny’s head then is out of the door before Mickey can open his mouth.

“Shit,” Mickey curses under his breath.

Yevgeny gasps. “Daddy, no cursing!”

“Sorry, bud,” Mickey says as Ian laughs. Mickey glares at him. “Hey, Yev, why don’t you go upstairs and watch TV until I get off?”

“But Mommy said I can’t be left alone,” Yevgeny pouts.

“Then she should of thought of that before bringing you in the middle of my shift.”

“I can watch him,” Ian speaks up.

Mickey looks at him. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, I’m not doing anything and I kept my brothers and sister all the time. Liam was basically raised by Fiona, Lip and I,” Ian says. He turns to the young boy and leans down. “Hey, Yevgeny. I’m your dad’s friend, Ian. Want to hang out with me while your daddy works? We can watch any movie you want.”

“Yeah!” Yevgeny shouts then turns to Mickey. “Can I, Daddy? Please?”

Mickey sighs. “Yeah, go.”

Yevgeny jumps off the barstool and runs up the stairs before Ian is off the stool. Ian laughs, shaking his head.

“Hey,” Mickey stops him before he heads up, handing him a water to replace his beer. “He’ll probably crash in like thirty minutes.”

Ian nods, taking the water and heading upstairs to join the boy.

Mickey is right, Yevgeny crashes within thirty minutes. Ian turns down the TV and watches it until Mickey comes stumbling upstairs around one in the morning. He thanks Ian, picks up the young boy, and both of them head out.

Ian’s barely at home and asleep when his phone starts ringing. He feels around for it, groaning when he sees the time is a little after three in the morning. “Hello?”

“He’s burning up and I don’t know what to do!”

Ian groans, sitting up and looking around his dark room. “Mickey?”

“I can’t take him to the hospital and I don’t know what to do.”

Ian groans, rubbing his hand down his face. “Mickey, calm down. And slow down. What’s wrong?”

“It’s Yevgeny. He’s burning up.”

“I’m on my way.” Ian stumbles out of bed, throwing on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt then is out the door with his bag in hand. He makes his way to Mickey’s apartment in record time; Mickey’s waiting at the door with Yevgeny in his arms. Ian immediately takes the boy in his arms and lays him on the couch. He takes his temperature and cringes at the results.

“Mickey, he has a 102 fever. He needs to go to the emergency room,” Ian says.

Mickey crosses his arms and shakes his head. “No. He’s staying here, okay. You can help him.”

Ian sighs but doesn’t argue with him. He gives Yevgeny fever reducer and helps Mickey change him into some light clothes. Mickey takes him back to his bed and sits down beside the bed.

“Now what?” he asks, running his hands through Yevgeny’s hair.

“We wait, watch him to make sure he doesn’t get any worse, take his temperature again in a few hours, and make sure he stays hydrated,” Ian says.

“Fuck,” Mickey whispers, putting his head in his hands.

“I’ll be in the living room,” Ian tries to back out of the room but Mickey stops him, begging him to stay in case something happens. Ian argues with him but eventually gives up, pulling up a chair and sitting by the bed.

“Liam use to get fevers a lot,” Ian says after a few minutes. “He would get really fussy and we could never get him to sleep when he had one. We would take shifts, trying to get him to sleep but we would just end up on the couch with him watching late night TV.”

“Why did he get them so much?”

Ian shrugged. “He was sick a lot after Fiona’s soulmate left and the accident. It was also around the time of my diagnosis so a lot of it fell on Lip’s plate.”

“Accident?”

Ian glances up at Mickey’s question, raising his eyebrows. “You don’t know? I thought it was all over the neighborhood when it happened. Liam got into some cocaine Fiona left lying around. He was in the hospital for three days.”

“Shit,” Mickey whispers. “But he’s okay?”

Ian nods. “Yeah, perfectly healthy. Almost as smart as Lip. That whole time was a fucking disaster. I-uh,” Ian stops, looking down at his hands. “I don’t remember a lot of it. That just sticks out the most.”

Mickey is silent and Ian’s sure he wants to ask him more questions but Ian avoids looking up. That part of his life seems too heavy for a guy he hangs out with when he lies to his family.

But Mickey doesn’t ask anymore questions. He stays silent. Ian finally breaks the silence and asks him a question. “Why didn’t you hear about it? Debbie said people talked about it for months especially when Fiona was arrested and almost lost guardianship of us.”

Mickey nods to Yevgeny. “This guy took up a lot of my time. Terry had just died and Svet forced me into getting a job over the table. Didn’t want to risk anything with this one.”

“I remember when Terry died,” Ian mumbles. “Mandy came to find me and we stayed up all night, drinking and smoking. Fiona and Lip got so mad at me when they found out I drank on my meds.”

Mickey was quiet, staring down at his son. “Thanks for being there for Mandy. I-uh-wasn’t there for her when she needed me. I’m glad she had someone.”

Ian bowed his head. “I disappointed her. Left her when she needed me the most. I don’t deserve to have her as a best friend.”

“Hey, man, don’t do that to yourself,” Mickey shook his head. “Mandy loves you. More than me that’s for sure.”

Ian disagrees. “You’re her brother. She loves you.”

Mickey shrugs, running his hand through Yevgeny’s hair. "She told me what happened. She doesn't blame you. If she did, she would know."

Ian figures he was right. Mandy never holds back and always lets people know what she's thinking. Ian leans back in the chair, crossing his arms and trying to get comfortable, knowing it was going to be a long night. The next few hours, neither Mickey nor Ian sleep, instead they watch Yevgeny. The boy tosses and turns and wakes up two hours later, crying.

Ian takes his temperature and forces Yevgeny to drink water. Yevgeny whines and protests, reaching for Mickey. Mickey rubs his back and talks him into drinking a few sips of water. Yevgeny eventually obeys and takes a few sips. Ian tells him that he needs to drink the whole glass. After more protesting and crying, Yevgeny finishes the water and falls back to sleep.

“Shit, this is going to be a long night,” Mickey mumbles, tucking the boy back in.

Ian nods off in the chair, his shifts and late nights out catching up with him. He jerks awake when Yevgeny starts crying.

“He’s sweating,” Mickey tells him, holding the boy in his arms.

Ian groans, standing up. He walks over to Mickey and the boy, placing his hand on Yevgeny’s forehead. “His fever’s breaking.” He kneels down, moving his hand to Yevgeny’s neck. “Hey, bud, can I check your temperature again?”

Yevgeny whimpers but nods. He willingly lets Ian take him from Mickey. Ian adjusts Yevgeny in his arms and takes his temperature. He sighs in relief when the thermometer says 99 degrees.

“It’s almost back to normal,” he tells Mickey. “He should take another fever reducer in a few hours and he needs to drink more water but he’s going to be okay.”

Mickey sighs in relief and takes Yevgeny back in his arms. “Here that, buddy, you’re going to be fine.” Yevgeny sniffles and snuggles up against Mickey’s neck. Mickey kisses the side of his head and looks at Ian. “Thanks, man.”

“Yeah,” Ian nods, crossing his arms. His phone starts ringing and Ian curses as he pulls the phone out to see his sister’s name flashing across the screen. “Shit, it’s Fiona. She’s probably freaking out.”

“Go. I think I got this.”

“Are you sure? I can tell Fiona and stay until he’s temperature’s back to normal.”

Mickey shakes his head, adjusting Yevgeny in his arms. “I can handle him.”

“Okay,” Ian hesitates. “Call me if he gets any worse. I’ll be over later to check on him. If I can get away from Fiona that is.”

“Yeah, okay,” Mickey says. “Thanks again.”

Ian smiles and nods. He pats Yevgeny on the back before grabbing his jacket and heading back to his house. Fiona is pacing around the living room when he walks in the door.

“Ian! Holy fuck, where have you been?” she cries.

Ian ignores her, hanging up his coat and placing his bag down. He walks past her and into the kitchen, grabbing a mug and filling it up full of coffee. He takes a long sip before turning back to her.

“I was worried sick,” Fiona says, crossing her arms. “Where were you? Did you even come home last night?”

“Yes, I came home for a few hours but Mickey called around three. Yevgeny was running a fever and didn’t want to take him to the ER. I stayed at his house the rest of the night,” Ian explains, leaning against the counter.

“Jesus, is the kid okay?” Fiona calms down, leaning against the fridge.

“Yeah, his fever was down to 99 when you called. I’m going to get some sleep then go back by there later today.”

Fiona nods, looking down at the floor. She swings her foot a bit then crosses it over the other foot. She looks back up, sighing. “I’m sorry for freaking out. It’s just-”

“I get it, Fi,” he stops her, giving her a smile.

Fiona nods again, pushing herself off the fridge. “I have the dinner shift. Can you handle dinner?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fully awake by then.”

Fiona laughs, shaking her head as she walks away.

Ian finishes his cup of coffee, washes his mug, and heads upstairs to get some sleep. A few hours later, Debbie is shaking him awake. He groans, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “I’m up,” he mumbles.

“Mickey Milkovich is here to see you,” Debbie says, raising her eyebrows at him.

“What?”

“And you’re supposed to be handling dinner.”

Ian’s forehead furrows in confusion. “What?”

Debbie rolls her eyes, throwing her hands up in annoyance. “Jesus Christ,” she mumbles as she turns around and leaves.

Ian groans, rubbing his head. He stands up, grabbing a sweatshirt and throwing it on before heading downstairs. Debbie is right. Mickey is standing in their kitchen. Carl is sitting at the barstool, watching him very intently.

“Hey,” Ian greets, walking over to the fridge and pulling out things he needed for supper. “How’s Yevgeny?”

“He’s better. Svetlana freaked out when I told her and picked him up.” Ian can feel his eyes on him as he looks through the fridge.

He shuts the fridge door, spinning around to face Mickey. “Shit, sorry, man. There goes your weekend with him.”

Mickey shrugs. “Depending on how he feels, she’ll probably drop him off Monday.”

“That’s good,” Ian turns to Carl. “Go get Liam and you two need to gather all your dirty clothes and start washing them.”

Carl turns up his nose. “Do we have to?”

“Yes, and Debbie too.”

Carl groans, not moving from his spot.

“Carl, go,” Ian raises his eyebrows and crosses his arms.

Carl sighs and gets up, running up the stairs and yelling for Liam and Debbie.

Ian rolls his eyes at the noise, turning the oven on to preheat. “Sorry about that. Fiona’s working tonight so I’m on kid duty.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Mickey mumbles, chewing on his thumbnail. “Hey, um, thanks for everything. Svet and I can’t really afford the emergency room and neither one of us has insurance.”

“I get it,” Ian answers, gesturing to the house and all the work that needs to be done to it. “We only got insurance maybe five years ago.”

“But anyway, thanks. It means a lot that you came over to help,” Mickey continues chewing his thumbnail. “I -uh don’t really know how to repay you.”

Ian stops what he’s doing and turns to Mickey. “Repay me? Mickey, I’m just helping out a friend. It’s no big deal.”

“Yeah, but I feel like I owe you, man. I mean, you helped my kid.”

Ian leans against the counter, crossing his arms and cocking his head. There it was again. He still can't tell if Mickey is flirting with him so Ian takes matters into his own hands. “How about a drink then? With you not behind a bar?”

“Uh, yeah, okay.”

The corner of Ian’s mouth turns up in a smile when he sees Mickey blush. “Great. Fiona gets off at ten. Meet you at the Albi at 10:30?”

“Yeah,” Mickey nods. “Yeah, see you then.” He nods at Ian one more time then walks out.

Ian grins, watching him walk out.

“What’s wrong with your face?”

Ian jerks out of his thoughts to find Debbie, Carl, and Liam staring at him with their arms full of laundry. “What?”

“You have this dopey look on your face,” Carl says, arching his eyebrows. “You look high. Are you?”

"What? No!"

“Do you like Mickey Milkovich?” Debbie asks, raising her eyebrows.

“What? We’re just friends,” Ian turns around and continues cooking supper, trying to ignore his younger siblings.

“Since when?” He hears Debbie ask.

“Just start a load of laundry and can someone help with the dirty dishes?”

Ian makes it through dinner and the rest of the night without the kids bothering him. When Fiona gets home, Ian bundles up and heads out to meet Mickey at the Albi. He spots Mickey in a corner booth, already nursing a beer.

“Hey,” Ian greets, shedding off a few layers. “Jesus, it’s freezing out. Going outside nowadays takes a lot of effort.”

“Yeah, dressing the kid has been a pain lately,” Mickey agrees. “I had to come in for a little bit to help Kev out so I didn’t order you anything.”

“That’s okay. I’ll flag him down.” Ian gets Kev’s attention and gestures for two beers. Kev nods and a few minutes later, he squeezes his way over with two beers.

“Hey, man,” Kev slaps Ian across the back after setting the beers down. “Lip said you joined a single’s group. Good for you, man.”

Mickey snorts into his beer.

“Yeah, about that,” Ian starts. “I quit going. It was all straight people anyway.”

“Well, I’m sure Lip can find you a LG- whatever the fuck it is now, group,” Kev responds.

“God, no,” Ian cringes. “Those things are too fucking depressing.”

“Fiona seemed to have luck.”

Ian rolls his eyes. “Fiona can have luck with anything that walks.”

Kev gasps as Mickey almost falls over in laughter. “That’s your sister!” Kev yells like it’s the biggest scandal he’s heard.

“Exactly why I can say it,” Ian shrugs. “She would have said the same about me a few years ago.”

“Does Lip know you quit?” Kev asks, changing the subject.

Ian shakes his head. “Neither does Fiona. And you cannot tell, Kev, I mean it. If I get another pamphlet, I swear to God, I will burn them and then kill Lip.”

Kev throws his hands up in surrender, backing slowly away from the table. Ian rolls his eyes and turns back to Mickey who is still laughing.

“Jesus, Gallagher. I thought the pills were supposed to help the crazy.”

Ian laughs. “They’re family.” It’s a simple explanation that Mickey seems to get.

“Ever hear from that Blaine guy again?” Mickey asks, changing the subject.

Ian snorts. “Fuck that dude. Fuck all of them. Fuck dating.”

“Wow, someone hasn’t had any luck,” Mickey grins.

“I’ve been on maybe a total of five dates in the last three years and they have all ended very badly. One fucker cried over his dead soulmate the whole time.”

Mickey sucks in a breathe. “Yikes.”

Ian takes a long sip of his beer then nods at Mickey’s right wrist. “What about you?”

Mickey shrugs. “With Yev, I didn’t get a lot of opportunities to date. Svet set me up with this one guy that called me by his soulmate’s name when we fucked.”

“Holy fuck.” Ian's mind starts racing. Mickey is gay and he was probably flirting with him.

“Yeah, that didn’t end well.”

Ian shudders at the thought. “Yeah, well I guess you take what you can get when your soulmate abandoned you.”

“That’s for sure,” he says. “But you had time with your soulmate, right?”

Ian shrugs. “Some. He didn’t want anything to do with me.”

“Fuck,” Mickey whispers. “This got real depressing. Want a shot?”

“God, yes.”

Mickey motions for Kev to bring them shots. Two shots and two beers later, the lights of the Albi are starting to get to Ian. The noise is too much and he can barely focus on Mickey. He keeps staring at the man causing him to look away.

“I need to head out,” Ian says, slowly standing up. “Fiona’s going to freak.”

“Let me give you a ride,” Mickey says, standing up as well and walking beside him.

The cold air hits hard when Ian opens up the door. He shivers and pulls his coat tighter. “Fuck, it’s cold.”

“Looks like it might snow again,” Mickey says, looking up at the overcast sky. He nods over to the left. “I parked over here.”

The walk to his car is silent. Ian struggles trying to open the passenger door before he gives up and lets Mickey open it for him. When Mickey gets in, he cranks the heat up for him then tosses him a bag of goldfish that he had in his dashboard.

“Sober up, man, so your sister doesn’t kill me or you.”

Ian takes the goldfish and eats them quietly on the way to his house. Ian knows Mickey has an apartment that is out of the way from his house but doesn’t say anything about it.

Mickey pulls up in front of the house and turns the car off. The house is dark and quiet for once and Ian just stares up at it.

“Walk me up and make sure I don’t fall?” Ian immediately regrets the question as soon as it’s out of his mouth. But when Mickey nods, there’s no turning back now.

He trips over all the stairs up to the house and Mickey catches his elbow each time.

“Shit, man, can you make it up the stairs to your room?” Mickey asks, watching Ian stumble to unlock the door.

Ian makes a low humming noise and finally opens the door. Mickey follows him inside, softly closing the door. Ian catches Mickey’s eyes and suddenly they are staring at each other, not sure what to do. Ian’s eyes flicker to Mickey’s lips and that seems to give Mickey the confidence to step forward. Ian’s head is buzzing and not sure what to make of it until their lips meet. He finds himself pushed up against the door and gasps when the doorknob digs into his back but he pulls Mickey closer.

They make out in front of the door for what seems like hours until Ian leads Mickey up to his room. Ian trips on the stairs but he doesn’t let go of Mickey until Mickey falls back on Ian’s too small of a bed.

They stare at each other for a long time then Ian is pulling off his shirt and pressing his mouth back to Mickey's. It’s been so long since he’s been held like this, kissed like this. He never wants it to end.

“Fuck, how old is this mattress?” Mickey groans, sitting up and grabbing his back.

Ian sits up slightly, watching Mickey move around. “I think we found it on the street before Liam was born.”

“Fuck, no. Next time, we go to my place. I have a fucking king size that’s only a year old,” Mickey says, throwing his shirt on. “And Jesus, does your heat not work?”

“Next time?” Ian’s face breaks out in a huge grin and he scoots to the edge of the bed, trying to find his own shirt.

Mickey clears his throat and doesn’t say anything until he zips up his pants and turns to face Ian. “If that’s okay?”

Ian tugs on Mickey’s belt loops, pulling him to meet his lips. “Yeah, that’s okay.”

#shameless #shameless fanfiction #shameless fic #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #ian x mickey #my stories #my fics

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letterboxd · 4 years

Photo

Making Waves.

“I live in Florida, my cat’s in the movie. It is incredibly personal.” Waves writer and director Trey Edward Shults opens up about his filmmaking process, reveals the movies that made him fall in love with cinema, and gushes about fellow A24 alum Robert Eggers.

Trey Edward Shults doesn’t want to spoil Waves. We don’t want to spoil Waves either. To even begin to describe its unconventional structure would be a spoiler. We’ve said too much already. Just know it’s a sweeping melodrama that solidifies Shults as one of the defining American voices of the decade.

The coming-of-age family drama centers on brother Tyler (Shults regular and breakout star Kelvin Harrison Jr., pictured above) and sister Emily (Taylor Russell), their relationships and struggles with each other, their parents (Sterling K. Brown and Renée Elise Goldsberry), and first loves (Alexa Demie and Lucas Hedges). This is Shults’ third collaboration with A24 after his DIY debut Krisha (set in the same family house as Waves, and similarly playful with its aspect ratio), and the polarizing horror It Came At Night.

While its structure hasn’t worked for everyone, Waves has captured the enthusiasm of many Letterboxd members in a profound way. “This is the coming-of-age movie to end coming-of-age,” writes ActionTomasello. “The less you know of it, the better it is going into this one.” It’s been added to the popular ‘You’re not the same person once the film has finished’ list, and the film’s soundtrack, collected into this Spotify playlist by Letterboxd member Ella, is one of the most-mentioned contributing factors to its success. Writes Nick: “A soundtrack that’s meant for a specific group of people that I’m a part of. It feels too perfect how someone made a film filled with songs from Kanye, Frank Ocean, Radiohead and many others. It feels like one long, sad, fucked-up music video.”

But no Letterboxd review currently beats Jack’s heartfelt letter to Shults: “Your film has moved me to better myself, to love, and to meet my emotions head on. Thank you.” (He also put it in his top five of all time.)

We caught up with Shults to learn how Waves was conceived and executed, and investigate which films have hit him the hardest.

Taylor Russel as Emily in ‘Waves’.

You often draw your films from your personal experiences and you’ve described Waves as autobiographical. Can you go into some detail about which life experiences fed into this film? Trey Edward Shults: Where to start? In broad strokes, I was a wrestler and tore my shoulder in the same way as Tyler. The relationships between Tyler and Alexis and also Emily and Luke are inspired by my girlfriend and [me] in the good moments, bad moments, and everything in between. Their parents are inspired by my parents. I live in Florida, my cat’s in the movie. It is incredibly personal, but I had a huge collaboration with Kelvin, and then as more actors came on it got more collaborative, so it really started from this personal place and grew out of that.

How do you reconcile your relationship to your own suffering with the fact it’s become your livelihood and commodity? It’s very strange. When we recreated events in Missouri I think that was the furthest I’ve ever gone. That shoot was an all-consuming dread and I broke down, it was very hard. I would question: “Is this healthy? Is this right?”, but I came out the other side happy I did it. It was cathartic. My mom and my step-dad are therapists and I would be a total mess without them, though I’m not in therapy right now. Working through these movies is a bit of therapy.

I’m trying to make personal things that I hope connect with other people, especially this movie. Going through life and getting to the other side of it and having perspective informed me a lot. Whether it’s just tonally or pacing-wise, I wanted the film to spiritually feel that way.

The film’s photography is remarkable, especially the first act, when you have your fullest frame. Can you take us inside how you executed some of those spinning 360-degree shots? For the car shots we took out the middle console of the truck and put a slider that went from the backseat to the front. Basically, the dolly grip and I were crammed down hiding behind the car seats and the grip pushed the camera from the back to the front. Drew [Daniels, the director of photography] was in the car behind us with a remote, so he’s operating the spinning and I have a monitor in the back. That way I could talk to the kids in the car and I also had a walkie so I could talk to Drew.

A lot of the dynamic camera stuff was a case-by-case scenario, sometimes it was just running behind our steadicam operator or just hiding and letting them go and play. We wanted the camera to be purely motivated by where our main character’s emotional state of mind was, so it’s all coming from them, but then we also wanted to figure out the technical shit and make it feel to the actors that the camera disappeared and we’re not even there. So it was an interesting balance getting there. It’s a second skin for us and we know exactly what we’re after visually, but let’s disappear and let the kids play and we’ll adapt to them.

Since our name is ‘Letterboxd’, I feel obligated to ask you an aspect-ratio question. Can you share with us how you built this intuition to change at will—did you have films you saw that you feel did this well? That’s a good question, because this one really felt like it was building off what I did with Krisha and pushing it further. I do remember The Grand Budapest Hotel came out right before I started Krisha and it had the three aspect ratios to separate [its] time periods, which was really cool to me. I think I got really excited about using aspect ratio to echo the character’s state of mind. That was the goal with that, especially for Tyler’s trajectory.

The soundtrack is getting some acclaim. Do you have any songs you wanted to fit in but couldn’t find the room, or couldn’t clear the rights for? I realized there were so many songs I wanted in it, but the movie told you what works. If you tried to force it on, it didn’t work. It started with the writing and it worked its way organically. The final soundtrack is pretty close to what was in the script though I think a few changed along the way. We got incredibly lucky that we got everything we wanted. I don’t know how we did it. It was a long process and our last song didn’t even clear until after Telluride and Toronto.

Trey Edward Shults and Sterling K. Brown on the set of ‘Waves’. / Photo: Monica Lek

There are shades of Chungking Express, Magnolia and Moonlight in the film’s DNA. What were some other films you watched or recommended to your cast and crew as preparation? Funny thing is we didn’t do a lot of movie-watching for preparation. Drew and I lived in the same house so we’d always have a movie on. We were watching The Story of Film a lot—the giant anthology series and study of the history of cinema, incredible. What we watched would totally range, it could be things like Ordinary People and Raging Bull, to The Tree of Life and I Am Cuba, to Boogie Nights and Punch-Drunk Love. We would take inspiration from anything, even a film like Yi Yi. It’s a completely different cinematic approach.

Yi Yi might just be the best film about family, so it’s a good start (Lulu Wang also mentioned it in our recent chat with her about The Farewell). That’s the thing exactly: even though Waves is made in such a different way, I think spiritually they’re sprawling tales of family. That’s one of my favorite movies. For the cast, we didn’t actually talk about movies that much. It was more about Florida, music and the character dynamics and all that good stuff.

Which movie scene makes you cry the hardest? One that just popped in my head is Dancer in the Dark. When Björk escapes in her head doing these musical numbers and it leads to the end, to the most devastating thing possible, it broke me. That movie’s rough, man. That’s not one I could watch and have good cries or something. I can’t rewatch it because it’s utterly traumatizing. I was probably crying for hours after it, I felt dead.

Which film makes you laugh the hardest? The most recent film that made me laugh the hardest is What We Do in the Shadows. I saw it for the first time on an airplane sitting next to a stranger and I think they thought something was wrong with me. Then I got home to Florida and showed it to my girlfriend, and her brother came home and we watched it again. It never got old.

Who was the most relatable coming-of-age film character for you? It’s hard because when I was a teen I was obsessed with sports and then it was music. I’m trying to think who I related to the most. Man, I don’t know. Nothing is coming to mind. Shocking.

What film do you wish you made? I’ll go with There Will Be Blood. It’s the first film that popped in my head.

What mind-fuck movies changed you for life and why? There were three that I saw pretty close together at a young age: Boogie Nights, A Clockwork Orange and Raging Bull. I had a digital cable box in my room, so I would sneak and watch a lot of things that my parents didn’t know I was watching. They just rocked my world. Until that point it was all Aliens and Terminator and every big action movie, so then when I saw those films it was like “this is what movies can be! What the hell is this?”.

I remember with Raging Bull I didn’t actually enjoy it. I was like, “This isn’t Rocky but I can’t stop watching.” It’s like a trainwreck and I’m fascinated but I don’t know if I like it, then I was obsessed with it and it’s one of my favorite movies now. Boogie Nights and A Clockwork Orange felt like a bigger vision was at work. It wasn’t just something made out in the ether, it was a specific singular vision and I cannot stop looking at it.

Sterling K. Brown in ‘Waves’.

What’s the most overlooked movie from A24? Shoot, I wish I could look at the catalogue right now. I’m just gonna go with The Spectacular Now because I just watched it again on the airplane and I thought it was really beautiful. It’s a good one, man.

Lastly, it’s time for best-of-decade lists. What’s the greatest film of the 2010s? When we interviewed Robert Eggers, Waves was his first choice. Shut up, come on! Oh my god, Rob’s the best. I will say that The Lighthouse is my favorite film of the year, without a doubt. I’m obsessed with it. I could gush about him for hours. He’s not just one of the greatest young filmmakers, he’s one of the great filmmakers working now. Honestly though, for my decade number one I gotta go with The Tree of Life. It’s one of my favorite movies of all time so I would put that at number one, and then The Lighthouse is close to it.

‘Waves’ is distributed by A24 and is playing in select US cinemas now. Photos courtesy A24.

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pink-grapefruit-cafe · 5 years

Text

grapefruit’s fanfic masterpost

(because i think you should read it x)

Branjie

multi-chapter fics

trainwreck (3/3)

[lesbian fake dating au. teen branjie. 5k]

if we have each other (6/6)

[dad!vanjie centric kid fic containing heavy branjie and ninex and bits of scyvie, trixya, kasia and more. 16.2k]

treat me nice (never let me go) (15/15)

[branjie, lesbian pretty woman au. 34.5k]

summer lovin’ (8/?)

[lesbian love island au ft. every possible pairing. 27.1k]

we didn’t start the fire (1/?)

[firefighter au. multiship. very domestic. multiship. light angst. 6.3k]

e le v e n (series)

imagine me and you (i do)

[episode 1. 1K.]

(and then you say) i think we’re alone now

[episode 2. 811 words]

one (it’s the loneliest number)

[episode 3. 1.2k]

(the danger is) i’m dangerous

[episode 4. 842 words]

i was standing (you were there)

[episode 5. 1k]

keep breathing (i can’t do this alone)

[episode 6. 883 words]

(i know you’ll be by my side) in the heat of the moment

[episode 7. 1.2k]

(run boy run) this world’s not made for you

[episode 8. 1.1k]

hang onto your hopes my friend

[episode 9. 991 words]

don’t stop me now (cause i’m having a good time)

[epsiode 10. 912 words]

won’t ya kiss me (on that midnight street)

[episode 11. 912 words]

dancing to the rhythm (of our heart and soul)

[episode 12. 1k]

i light another cigarette (learn to forget)

[reunion/epilogue. 111 words]

coughing up petals (series)

save your breath

[songfic save your breath - adore delano. 2.6K. brooke pov poetic angst]

twenty seven club

[songfic twenty seven club - adore delano. 2K. dark vanessa pov angst]

les fleurs de l’enfers

[hanahaki flower fic. 3.1k. can i argue this is underrated?]

my sense of wonder’s just a little tired

[songfic lost - dermot kennedy. 1.2K. reunion centric angst]

of roses and bleeding and crying too much.

[songfic ivy - frank ocean. 792 words. idk]

freedom tastes like gasoline

[songfic since you left me - joy cooke. 768 words. vanjie centric]

i’ll never be free

[songfic i’ll never be free. 624 words. for frey]

interlude (series)

interlude 1.1

[5 times brooke kissed vanjie to calm her down, and 1 time vanjie kissed brooke. 2.8K]

interlude 1.2

[The five times they follow the rules, and the one time they break them. 2.3k]

one-shots

summertime sadness

[a depressing romp through finding love again. heavy angst. metaphors. 8.8k]

say it soft (and it’s almost like praying)

[them saying i love you. metaphors. 1.1k. very soft. maybe my favourite]

colour theory

[the colours of emotions basically. 888 words. i like it]

ice cream.

[lesbian branjie kidfic. 1.1k. the kids grow up and ice cream is special]

sunny (yesterday my life was full of grey)

[happiness? idk that’s the description. 1k words.]

baby (you’re like lightning in a bottle)

[vanjie meets brookes mom and is awkward. 1.2 k]

the broken hearts club.

[lesbian vanjie centric breakup fic. 2k]

an intimate discussion on the state of hotel beds

[lesbian friends with benefits, guilty pining, 1k words]

(wo)men in glass houses

[friends that should not have benefits. songfic. 1.5k]

Trixya

i hope you’ve got the time (to keep that air between your lungs)

[lesbian university flower soulmate au. 4k. technically 2 chapters]

we’re not bruised they’re just party tattoos

[i wrote this in 2017. 503 words]

we’re not bruised they’re just party tattoos

[i rewrote it in 2020. 969 words]

who we are and who we are not

[good place au sort of. time bendy. does not require knowledge. 3k]

we didn’t start the fire (1/?)

[firefighter au. very domestic. multiship. light angst. 6.3k]

just like a folk song (our love will be passed on) (1/3)

[folklore songfic, coming of age. fluff. angst. 6.9k]

the language of flowers

hello, goodbye, hello

[kasia and katya coming of age pre trixie. 3.6k]

ancolie (innocence, foolishness)

[lesbian flower shop/bakery au. 1.6k. fluff. flower metaphors.]

i’ll be yours (if you’ll be mine)

[multiship valentines drabble chapters set in katyas shop. much trixya. 4.5k]

workplace romance series

1793

[ the beginning of time. 1k]

1983

[ anaheim, the third time. 1k]

1990

[ santa monica, meeting two. 1.2ish k]

1995

[milwaukee, the fifth time. 1.2k]

2002

[ boston, no.4. 1k]

Ninex

i believe that we will win

[iwhe universe fic. monet x nina with kids being supportive soccer dads. 736 words]

bad idea (let’s keep kissing)

[songfic bad idea - waitress. theatre lesbian au. 2.3k]

i’ll be yours (if you’ll be mine)

[multiship valentines drabble chapters set in katya's shop. 4.5k]

we didn’t start the fire (1/?)

[firefighter au. very domestic. multiship. light angst. 6.3k]

how will i know?

[phd student lecturers. songfic how will i know - whitney houston. 6k]

Kam/Asia

hello, goodbye, hello

[kasia and katya coming of age pre trixie. 3.6k]

we didn’t start the fire (1/?)

[firefighter au. very domestic. multiship. light angst. 6.3k]

drunk in love series (also a part of the iwhe universe)

(hey baby) i think i wanna marry you

[rare pair fic challenge. 2.5k. drunk marriage. tour fic]

peppermint and tequila

[exactly how they got drunk enough to get married. 600 words]

Trixie/Bendelacreme

how did you get in (nobody’s supposed to be here)

[based off of bens elimination in as3. 900 words.]

Jan/Jackie

i do like you.

[university fic, year abroad, pining, angst, loveeee, lesbians, 3.5k]

star-uncrossed

[Jan and Jackie meet and Jackie is the sweetest. falling in love. 1.7k]

we might be hollow (but we’re brave)

[coming of age songfic to lorde. fluffy. 3k]

liability

[a depressing romp through finding yourself after trauma. 6k. fluffy ending]

the kind of love you don’t believe in

[divorce lawyer/wedding planner lesbian au. pure fluff. i love it. 7.3k]

papillionlisse (3/6)

[harry potter au, exchange student, fluff, 9.5k]

we didn’t start the fire (1/?)

[firefighter au. very domestic. multiship. light angst. 6.3k]

Gigi/Nicky

i do like you.

[university fic, year abroad, pining, angst, loveeee, lesbians, 3.5k]

papillionlisse (3/6)

[harry potter au, exchange student, fluff, 9.5k]

Taywhora

don’t just stand their staring honey (try to move your feet)

[they were roommates/fake dating/friends to lovers. slowdance universe. 4k]

ain’t no doubt about (it i’m in love)

[soft valentines day fluff. slowdance universe. 1k ]

i couldn’t be more in love

[canon compliant. metaphors. angst. coughing up petals. 764 words]

Rose/Denali/Gott Mik

we cry tears of mascara in the bathroom (honey life is just a classroom)

[gottrose. drunk in bars. lesbian. songfic ]

tu besos es my salvation

[rosenali hanahaki. canon compliant competition based. ]

home for the summer

[gottrosenali. friends to lovers. coming of age. ]

Drabbles

i’m so tired [branjie]

they know the best of you [branjie]

middles [trixya]

evolution [branjie]

insomnia [ninex]

the birth of venus [branjie]

moments like these [trixya]

happy birthday [ninex]

3 a.m. [branjie]

witching hour. [branjie]

team building [jan x jackie]

my feet hurt. [jan x jackie]

cute [ninex]

can i kiss you? [jan x jackie]

grinch season [ninex]

family dinner [ninex]

miscommunication [ninex]

is that how you flirt? [jan x jackie]

Poetry

g r a p e f r u i t

[poetry collective]

Avengers Anthology Contributions

delicious

[an extended metaphor about pancakes. 1K. branjie]

#charlottes fanfic masterpost #of her own fanfics #and they're sorted and described #because i am what?#organised

27 notes · View notes

amandajoyce118 · 5 years

Text

The Punisher Season 2 Easter Eggs And References

Yes, I know. You don’t have to tell me that the second season of The Punisher dropped on Netflix a month ago. Surprisingly, this last month has been extremely busy for me. Birthdays, family stuff, changes in management at my day job, changes in editors (thrice!) at my freelance job, plus prepping my tax stuff has left me with very little free time. I finally managed to finish the second season this weekend (and I started Umbrella Academy, which is really interesting, but something I’m not familiar with, so no Easter Eggs on that one, sorry!) and finish writing up Easter eggs as well.

As usual, there are spoilers, but I went episode by episode with the Easter eggs. Anybody worried about spoilers has probably already watched the show at this point. I feel like I was probably the last one out there who hadn’t watched. Despite it taking me forever and a day to watch the show, there’s still a chance I didn’t catch everything, especially since the Punisher doesn’t seem like a show with a lot of in-universe Easter eggs.

Happy reading!

S2E01 “Roadhouse Blues”

The Van

Oh, look. Pete AKA Frank is using a van full time. In the comics, the van houses a wide variety of weapons and surveillance equipment, but Frank isn’t quite that high tech without the help of someone like Micro around. He also calls it the Battle Van.

Lola’s Roadhouse

It’s probably just a coincidence, because Lola is just one of those names that pop culture junkies seem to love, but… who else thinks it might be a nod to Coulson’s favorite car in Agents of SHIELD?

Fiona

Some people will try to find the Marvel character that is “Fiona,” but again, I think this one is a coincidence. Why? Fiona is a weirdly popular name in comics. There’s a Fiona who is an Inhuman who can fly. There’s a Fiona who founds the sisterhood and hates men. There are also Fionas who are artists/writers/pencilers/etc in real life. I think this is just a case of them picking a pretty name.

Michigan

It’s the last place anyone would look, you say? Kind of like how it’s the last place anyone seems to care about because Flint still doesn’t have clean water? Yep.

S2E02 “Fight Or Flight”

Pete and Rachel

I like that Frank is still using the name Pete, but can we all laugh for a second about how these two are Pete and Rachel? It makes me laugh because these are two characters in friends. Pete only asks Monica out because he overhears Monica and Rachel talking about their love lives (or lack of them). Pete, funnily enough is like a Tony Stark character here: wealthy, throwing money around to get what he wants, buying women buildings, etc. He’s also played by Jon Favreau AKA Happy Hogan in the Iron Man movies. It’s one of those things that’s not meant to be a connection, but proves you can find “Easter eggs” in anything.

Rachel AKA Amy

Amy is based on a comic book character, but she’s been completely changed for the show. In the comics, she was a little girl who saw Frank escape a crime scene and promised him she wouldn’t tell anyone. He helped her out a few times as well. But, like I said, completely different. (Of course, the use of the name Rachel, and some of her later story gives a nod to another comic book character as well. We’ll talk about that later.)

Larkville, Ohio

Clearly based on Clarkville, Ohio. They thought leaving off one letter would make it less obvious? Anyway, here are some fun facts about Ohio in the MCU. It’s where there was a secret wing of a prison for powered people (thanks, Agents of SHIELD). It’s also where Coulson and company went to get information about CENTIPEDE (again, thanks Agents of SHIELD). Lincoln Campbell tried to escape Inhuman life as a doctor there (again, Agents of SHIELD). It’s also where Bucky sarcastically remarked Steve Rogers was from for one of his many fake ID’s to get in the army (Captain America: The First Avenger). And, it’s also where Helmut Zemo tracked down a super soldier in hiding (Captain America: Civil War). So, what I’m saying is, if you’re interested in lying low in the MCU, you don’t go to Ohio. Someone will find you.

Billy’s Memory

Billy Russo’s memory being jumbled, or having gaps, provides a nice storytelling device, but it’s also a nice nod to the comics. His memory was manipulated, or he was brainwashed, a few times. The only thing that restored his memory those times? Fighting the Punisher, of course.

A Jigsaw Puzzle

Lots of puzzle references to Billy, and with good reason. In the comics, he’s Jigsaw. The guy gets thrown through a plate glass window and his face is put back together like a jigsaw by a surgeon. He takes on the name and vows revenge.

Billy’s Mask

His mask is more than just to build suspense by covering up his face. You’ll see there are red and blue colors on the sides? It’s meant to be a nod to an art therapy practice that’s become helpful in treating soldiers with PTSD as a result of their work. Soldiers are instructed to create a mask to show people what they’re feeling on the inside, even if they can’t say it. National Geographic did a whole piece on how the work has been helping people. I wrote about it in my Jigsaw list, briefly.

S2E03 “Trouble The Water”

129

The door number that is clearly visible when Billy breaks out of the hospital with his therapist’s help is 129. To be fair, most house numbers, door numbers, and phone numbers are completely random. This one might be a coincidence. But… Amazing Spider-Man issue 129 was the very first appearance of the Punisher. Jigsaw AKA Billy Russo appeared over 30 issues later in the same series. It seems purposeful.

Mahoney

Look at Mahoney, making the rounds still. He started as a character on Daredevil and has worked his way through the Netflix shows.

The Pilgrim

That’s the name given in press releases to the religious villain who has some, uh, questionable tattoos removed once upon a time. He’s not a specific comic book character, but a lot of people have compared him to the Mennonite from the old Punisher comics.

S2E04 “Scar Tissue”

WHiH

The world news station of choice in the MCU, this one gets more attention in the movies. It’s covering news from every corner of the globe. Recently, it’s made its way into the Netflix shows, Agents of SHIELD, and Runaways as well.

WJBP TV

Another station in the MCU, this one is local. It’s typically only seen in the Netflix corner of the universe, so it’s usually covering New York news.

The Kitten Hanging On The Branch

I’m sorry, but did anyone not see one of these posters if they grew up in the United States? Nice nod to the inspirational poster schtick the public school system has. I think I saw it in guidance counselor offices at every school I went to.

New York Bulletin

Yes, the Bulletin is still going strong despite losing a lot of its staff in the second season of Daredevil.

Amy AKA Rachel

Okay, so despite looking like a nod to the little kid who keeps Frank’s secret in the comics, this character also appears to be a nod to Rachel Cole. She ended up in the middle of a gang war and became a vigilante, falling in with Frank.

Baseball

So, Billy had a thing for baseball? You know who else had a thing for baseball? Dex AKA Bullseye in Daredevil season two. Nice job keeping your sociopaths on theme, Netflix MCU.

S2E05 “One-Eyed Jacks”

Three Card Monte

I have a hard time believing that Frank Castle, marine, killer, and all around street savvy dude, doesn’t understand how Three Card Monte works. Then again, maybe no one has tried to swindle him with cards because they value their life. Who knows? Anyway, I found this version interesting because most people who hustle with it want you to “find the lady” as the queen of hearts. Here, it’s the queen of diamonds. I’m not sure what that says, but it’s interesting. (Also, I feel like Amy AKA Rachel and Skye AKA Daisy would get along. It reminded me of the sugar packets and Mike’s ID in the Agents of SHIELD pilot).

Turk Barrett

At this point, if you don’t know who Turk is, I’m just going to assume you haven’t seen any of the Netflix shows before. In which case, why are you reading these Easter eggs? Go start watching from the beginning, and then come back.

Oh, sh1t!

I think it’s cute that for all her life as a hustler, she doesn’t use actual curse words, but instead, speaks the way teens might curse via text.

S2E06 “Nakazal”

“You could always burn the place down.”

I feel like this is a nod to how arson tends to be a last resort for Frank in the comics. He prefers to go in, guns blazing, and just take people out. There are a few stories where he’s torched whole buildings, but they usually are just a minor thing in a major story arc.

Anderson And Eliza Schultz

Not comic book characters, but they do share their surname with Herman Schultz AKA the Shocker. I think that’s probably not a big connection. Instead, it’s more likely that the writers liked the name, and as a bonus, it gives them a nod to comic creators Charles Schultz (Peanuts) and Mark Schultz (art for DC, but also really big in indie comics).

I’m not going to list all of the political commentary in this episode, but whew. They really went for it.

S2E07 “One Bad Day”

The Title

“All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man to lunacy.” Or at least, that’s what the Joker believes in Batman’s The Killing Joke. It’s one of the biggest Batman stories ever, so I’m thinking the title is no coincidence. I also think a few staff members are Batman fans since the kid in the first episode also had a Batman backpack.

Fragmentation Grenade

An interesting choice for a weapon since in the comics, Jigsaw gets healed a few times, only to have his face ruined again by the Punisher. One of those times is the result of a fragmentation grenade.

S2E08 “My Brother’s Keeper”

The Fatal Shore By Robert Hughes

The book Amy reads when she’s bored in the trailer is actually about the founding of Australia. History teaches us it was a penal colony - the place where criminals were shipped to start over - but there were already Aboriginals there, which made for quite the conflict. Someone like Amy probably would have found the crime, the hustle of the whole thing, interesting, but she doesn’t strike me as someone who would be into history, so it’s no wonder she put it down.

“He did everything he could to you to make sure you suffered for the rest of your life.”

Yes. This is exactly why Frank leaves Billy alive in the comics. He kills everyone who had a hand in the deaths of his family - all but Billy, even though they weren’t as close as brothers in the comics. He leaves Billy alive so that the guy can suffer, but also to serve as a warning to anyone who comes after him. Billy spends a lot of his story arcs either trying to get revenge, or trying to get his “pretty boy” looks back.

S2E09 “Flustercluck”

Valhalla

Do we say this is a nod to the Thor franchise, or do we just accept that the world at large has the idea of Valhalla as paradise? Your call.

“I’m not the one that dies…”

I’ll confess Punisher is not my comic book cup of tea, but I feel like he said this line in a comic once. I could be wrong.

S2E10 “The Dark Hearts Of Men”

The Title

Pretty sure this is a nod to a Bible verse about humanity. But I’m not up on my Bible knowledge and a google search just gives me a bunch of reviews of this episode, so I’m sorry this isn’t more specific?

“Drunkards Prayer”

This is the song that plays when the Pilgrim is both fighting and recovering from his fight. It’s a song about wanting to be pious, but knowing you’re an addict. And it fits with his character pretty well. AJ McLean (of the Backstreet Boys) covered it once, if you’re interested. I think you could also apply it to just about any character in Castle’s world - people wanting to be better, but unable to leave the bad things in their life behind. And no, I won’t dissect every song choice for the season, but this one stuck with me.

Making Castle Believe The Worst

Making the Punisher believe he killed innocent people is straight out of the comics. It’s one trick a villain uses to bring him down, though ultimately, he figures out he wasn’t the one responsible. That looks like the same thing here with Castle believing he killed the women and the therapist’s “I know how to break Castle” thing.

S2E11 “The Abyss”

Queens

I find it interesting that the Punisher is frequenting Queens a lot in this season. (The warehouse where he gets arrested, as noted in the radio broadcast, is in Queens.) Why? Because he was introduced in a Spider-Man comic and frequently crossed paths with the web crawler. Where is Peter Parker from? Queens.

Karen Page

Karen’s appearance as Frank’s “lawyer” here muddles the timeline a bit. We’ve all been thinking this occurs after season three of Daredevil. That season ended with Matt and Foggy reforming Nelson and Murdock, but with making Karen a partner as well. Never mind that she doesn’t have a law degree or anything like that. But, Karen introduces herself as representing Nelson and Murdock. Maybe her name isn’t in the business because she’s not a lawyer? Or maybe this is actually set before that? Who knows? It’s all very ambiguous.

Sacred Saints Hospital

While this hospital didn’t appear in another episode, the Sacred Saints Cemetery did, and I wonder if they’re connected to one another? Sacred Saints is where Elektra was supposedly buried, which gives us a lot of Daredevil connections in this episode, huh?

Matt Murdock

Frank mentions the man himself while talking with Karen. I feel like this is more of a reminder that Frank knows Matt is Daredevil than it is a legit comment on the state of Matt and Karen’s relationship.

Karen’s Shoes

Not an Easter egg, but I like that the payment to the morgue tech/assistant medical examiner was her very expensive shoes, not something tropey like drinks with him. Thank you, writers. This was cute. Also, it gave Karen the means to run around the hotel easier and not be held back by her heels.

S2E12 “Collision Course”

Mr. Blue

The only thing I noticed in this episode was the nickname given to Billy by the florist. It’s actually the alias Betty Ross used in the comments when Bruce Banner was a fugitive and she tried to stay in contact with him. Probably not intentional, but you never know.

S2E13 “The Whirlwind”

“...pull your spine out of your throat…”

In the “Space” stories for the Punisher, he does something like this to Ultron, funnily enough. He reaches into Ultron’s mouth and pulls his core out, not his spine, through his throat.

Dive School In Florida

Okay, I couldn’t find any characters associated with the Punisher who spend a lot of time in Florida, but I can tell you Florida made its first appearance for Marve in Marvel Comics #1, that Man-Thing is from there, and that Captain Marvel spent time there working for NASA. Florida has also popped up in a few episodes of Agents of SHIELD. It’s where Joey (former SHIELD ally and Inhuman teammate) lives, where Elena has friends, and where May and Coulson pretended to be married to steal a painting.

The Final Shot

That final image of Castle in his Punisher vest opening fire has been in several comics. It’s clear it’s intentional.

Stan Lee

The final episode closes with an “in loving memory.” Not really an Easter egg, but worth a mention. While Stan Lee did not create the Punisher, he had a hand in his name. Originally, Frank Castle was going to be called the Assassin. Lee thought they should go for something a little less on the nose, and coined the Punisher.

A few notes for the season:

Castle never purposely uses lethal force against law enforcement. I guess that’s supposed to make us believe that his killing of all the bad guys is acceptable.

The support group that Curtis leads? One of my favorite things is that there are a lot of flyers on the bulletin boards behind them for things like free puppies. A lot of these guys would do better (not suddenly be whole again, but maybe do a little bit better) with an emotional support animal. It’s proven that having an animal to come home to can actually help you live longer. It’s one of the reasons there are groups that take animals into children’s hospitals and retirement homes for people to play with.

The season finale actually feels very final to me. I think this might have been the only one of the MCU Netflix shows where the writers thought they might not come back? Because it seems like they closed everything up nicely instead of teasing something else down the line.

That’s all I’ve got this time around. The next Easter egg list on the horizon for me is, I believe, Captain Marvel, which should be up the same weekend it releases since I’m seeing that one opening night.

#punisher #punisher season 2 #punisher easter eggs #marvel easter eggs #easter eggs

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bcntnotbrokcn · 6 years

Text

THREAD 1

Estimated ages: Mickey, 22. Ian, 20. Brief synopsis: Ian has issues dealing with Monica’s death. Even though he hasn’t spoken to Mickey in nearly two years -- he’s still at the top of his emergency contact list. Mickey wastes no time in running to Ian’s aide. Triggers: Suicidal thoughts, depression, guns.

IAN GALLAGHER

Truth be told, his heart hurt. He felt like it was being shattered into a million different pieces and he couldn’t seem to put it back together again. His lungs were unable to grasp for the air they so desperately needed, his head unable to silence itself as he sat there, a gun in his hand and horrid thoughts going through his head of what to do with his weapon of choice. Tears stung his eyes before they flowed down his cheeks, his face red and blotchy from crying. His shoulders shook with silent sobs of angst and misery, unable to calm himself down. Or, rather, pick himself up from his low low.

Ian Gallagher had lows in the past. Heck, he had spent days upon days in bed, refusing to get up and refusing to care for himself as the chemicals in his brain refused to work right. Even after he was stabilized on his medication, things still had a way of getting to him sometimes, and he still got depressed and manic. He couldn’t help it, it’s just the way things were. It’s just how his life was. Fucked up. No good.

Monica’s death hadn’t really affected the other Gallagher children like it did him. But Ian? For some reason, he had started to become close to her. She was never there growing up, never around when any of the kids needed her. She came in and out like a hurricane, leaving only pure destruction and heartache in her path. But since his diagnosis, Ian had felt a special bond towards his mother. Maybe she didn’t want to be on medication -- and for that, he understood, because sometimes it caused him to lose who he was, too -- but she was the only one who understood him. The only one who knew what he was going through. And not having her there anymore -- it left a hole in his heart that he was finding impossible to fill again.

Ian stared down at his phone, gripping it tightly as his other hand gripped the gun like it was the only thing keeping him sane at the moment. Like if he set it down, it would vanish, and he would lose the only source of faux comfort that he could find in his time of need. He wanted to use it so badly, to just end the pain that his heart, body, mind, and his soul were in. Monica’s death had triggered an episode, and he couldn’t seem to find the light in the darkness that was currently enveloping him.

But Fiona, Lip... Debbie and Carl and Liam... even Frank, maybe... how would they all react if Ian took the step he most certainly wanted to take? How would it all affect them? How could he do that to his family? But they just didn’t understand. No one understood, not now that Monica was gone. No one knew what was going on in his head. No one could fix him.

But maybe... Maybe there was someone who could maybe bring a little light. Sure, it was a selfish move. An asshole move. Ian had treated him like trash, had broken his heart and caused him so much pain and stress over the years. He didn’t owe Ian anything. But maybe, just maybe, he could be the one thing that made it all hurt a little less.

Ian stared at his emergency list, the list of people he should contact if he ever felt too low. It hadn’t been really updated in years, never needing to be changed -- so when he initially opened the file on his phone, and Mickey was the first name on that list -- it broke Ian even more. Mickey deserved better than him. But what other time could Ian be selfish and call his ex, if not now? When he was on the brink of ending his own life?

Finally, Ian found Mickey’s contact, quickly pushing the button to text him. He wanted to call, but he had an inkling that Mickey wouldn’t answer. Not after how Ian treated him. And honestly, Ian wouldn’t have blamed him. So he quickly wrote out a text, his phone shaking as he let out another sob.

i kno you dont owe me shit but ur the first name on my emergency list & i fukn need u Mick

plz. im under the train tracks near my house & i fukn need u

Before he could change his mind, Ian quickly pressed ‘send,’ before setting his phone down next to him. He gripped the gun tighter, holding it close to his chest as he closed his eyes against the onslaught of tears that threatened to envelope his whole being.

MICKEY MILKOVICH

I FUCKING NEED YOU, MICK. re - reads to be sure it’s from ian , heart picking up it’s pace despite best judgement , while the tv continues blabbering to the walls , long forgotten . the word ‘ emergency ’ sticks , and mickey doesn’t even consider pretending to not have seen it , body responding to the text before brain can catch up , pulling on battered sneakers . it’s been forever since they've last spoken , though the memory of it still stings . wonders if it will ever stop hurting , if he’ll be able to leave the past in the past at some point . ( he won’t . ) has long given up understanding why ian affects him so deeply , why his stupid heart can’t just let it go . maybe having ian’s name etched in dark ink onto alabaster skin doesn’t help but certain decisions you can only regret .

half - way out of the door into the cold weather , shrugging on a jacket that’s too big to be his ( probably colin’s ) , thinks that he shouldn’t go running , not after everything . one text , he should be better than that , humiliate himself less ; but can’t help it , not when worry fills his head and puts a weight in his stomach that can’t just shake off . this is important , he knows it is , or ian wouldn’t have texted , not like that . I FUCKING NEED YOU . words are carved in mind’s eye though phone is safely tucked in jeans’ pocket . remembers when ian knocked on his door , distraught and desperate , I NEEDED TO SEE YOU , and how his stomach twisted and fell , and immediately found himself making up some bullshit excuse to terry just to meet the freckled idiot at the kash & grab . remembers the way his heart stopped when they were caught , the sharp pain of being shot in the leg , and that he’d do it all over again . so , he runs .

knows the way by heart, chilly air burning blackened lungs , but only stops at the spot of orange in his line of sight , still far away enough to turn around and leave , unnoticed . mickey feels like a fucking idiot . he shouldn’t even have ian’s phone number still saved on old cellphone , let alone drop everything at the blink of an eye just because , suddenly , ian needs him . where was he when mickey needed him ? the two times in his life that mickey could have used some support , ian hadn’t been there . yet , here he is , aching to close that distance , and set things right .

only notices that his feet are inching towards the boy when eyes can make sense of what he’s holding . once again , any doubt if he should have come or not is pushed to the background , and speed picks up again . heart slams on his throat when he finally speaks . ❛ hey , ❜ it’s meant to be louder , clearer , but chokes at the last second , at last coming to a definite stop , much closer to the screeching train roaring above them . waits for it to go away before trying again . ❛ got your message , ❜ no shit , sherlock , ❛ —— what’s wrong ? ❜

IAN GALLAGHER

He’s not coming. He’s not fucking coming and there’s no one else on my list I want to talk to about this. He’s not coming. He’s not fucking coming. The words were replaying in Ian’s mind, his heart hammering in his chest as he choked out another sob. He didn’t blame Mickey, not one bit. Ian had treated him like garbage over the years, had abandoned him more times than Ian cared to admit. Why would he care about what happened to him, anyway? He shouldn’t. Ian wasn’t anything special.

But Ian would be damned if there wasn’t a day that went by that Mickey didn’t cross his mind. He felt terrible for not replying to that one text long ago, or never visiting him in jail. That he just cut Mickey out of his life. But once he was stabilized on his meds, he couldn’t ignore the obvious: he was toxic for Mickey. In the same way that Monica was always toxic for Frank. Once he had discovered that realization, he knew Mickey was too good for him, and that he loved him too much to continue hurting him. Like Monica hurt Frank all the fucking time. Mickey just deserved so much more.

Ian clutched the handle of the gun impossibly tighter, his mind made up. He was about to inch it up higher, when he suddenly heard a voice, footsteps approaching. Ian peeled his eyes open, landing on the sight of his ex. Got your message. What’s wrong? He came. He actually fucking came.

And that thought just caused Ian to start crying even harder. Mickey came for him. This was a perfect example of just why Mickey was too good for Ian. All the shit Ian had put him through, and Mickey had actually came for him.

“Sh-She’s dead,” he finally managed to choke out. “And now I have -- no one, Mick. She was the only one who understood me and now she’s fucking gone. And I can’t -- I can’t fucking think anymore. It all --” He shut his eyes tightly again, holding the gun in one hand as he brought up both to rest against his head. “I don’t -- I can’t -- I don’t want to be here anymore. It all hurts.”

MICKEY MILKOVICH

the lead up is not the best, eyeing the gun with wariness . it takes him a moment to follow ; as the speech continues , however , he understands . in frequent visits to neighborhood’s bars , he hears things , though the name gallagher on someone else’s tongue seems to stick out more than random gossip . the memory is fuzzy , with too much alcohol tainting blood when somebody mentions monica gallagher being back . it fits , remembers ian saying that he had been with his mother right before outright denying to accept his meds , right before mickey was arrested .

in a weird way, she was the support mickey couldn’t be when ian had needed it most . he thinks that she understands because she has the same diagnosis , and no one can argue with that because no one else understands . wishes that he could , if only to ease ian’s pain , make him see monica is not worth the hurt and misery left behind , that monica brought him nothing but a shadow to hide under . can’t say it , though , but thinks .

❛ you—— you mean monica, right? ❜ asks , unsure what else he can say . what a shitty emergency contact he is . ❛ you don’t need her , ian . you just—– just fuckin’ don’t . your family is tryin’ to understand , right ? they wanna help you , they’re here for you . ❜ i’m here for you . sniffs , earnest blues that had been focusing on a spot on the redhead’s shoulder courageously moving to meet greens . hesitation brims from each word , unspoken fear creeping up his spine despite attempting to hide it . ❛ it’s not like you don’t have anybody . ‘course it’s not the same or anythin’ , but we’re tryin’ . they’re tryin’ . not like your mom was doin’ fuck all to really help you anyway . ❜ takes a step closer , trying to gulp around the knot in his throat.

wants nothing more than to reach out. and wipe his tears , hold him until that stupid idea is out of his mind , until the pain becomes more bearable . but can’t move , frozen in place , never in his life so aware of a gun and how close to someone’s head it rests . doesn’t want to startle ian , or say the wrong thing . it kills him to see the shell of the boy he loves breaking , thinks he can feel ian’s hurt as his own . wants to comfort , to make it better , but where to start ? mickey isn’t good at that , own chest heavy with settling panic . ❛ c’mon , man , be careful with that . you don’t need the fuckin’ gun , ❜ he’s never been scared of guns , or of seeing people die . growing up around both , knew how to shoot before he even knew how to tie his own shoes . but now it terrifies him , doesn’t know what he’d do if ian decided to use it ; the mere thought has bitter bile rising .

IAN GALLAGHER

Of course his family was trying to understand, trying to help him. But saying that Monica didn’t... Ian didn’t accept that. Monica helped him more than anyone else had, he was sure of it. Maybe she didn’t think he needed his meds, maybe she thought he was perfectly okay just the way he was. And yes, he disagreed with that. It took a while, and lots of talks with his family members -- but he finally understood that what Monica had been originally saying was false. He wasn’t better off without his medication. Not by a long shot.

But that didn’t erase the fact that whenever he was feeling low, or having a rough go of it, she was just a phone call away. She listened to his fears, helped him calm down when it seemed that no one else could. Because no one else understood like she did. No one else knew what he was really going through. So no, Monica wasn’t always helpful. But she knew what it was like. She was living with it, too.

Ian looked away from Mickey after those words about his mother, what Mickey thought of her sending a sting through Ian’s heart. She was dead, didn’t she deserve more respect than that? Fiona didn’t think so, he was pretty sure no one else did, either. But Ian -- he loved his mother. More than she deserved, but he did.

When Mickey mentioned the gun, Ian furrowed his brow in slight confusion, before finally bringing his hand in front of him, staring at the weapon. He had forgotten that he was holding that, honestly. And now that he remembered -- he didn’t want it. He wanted nothing to do with it. He didn’t want to deal with the pain he was in, but he couldn’t be selfish like that -- he had already been selfish far too much in his life.

But if I give it up, the threat is gone. He’ll leave. I can’t - I can’t be alone. Ian closed his eyes tightly, his heart squeezing in his chest. “I’m on my meds, Mick. I swear I’m on my meds. So I don’t -- I don’t know why my head is this way. Why -- why everything just seems so fucking hopeless.” He continued to stare down at the gun, before finally taking a careful, hesitant step forward. His knees felt like they were going to give out from under him, like he was just going to fall to the ground and never, ever be able to figure out how to get himself back up.

A few more hesitant, slow steps. His movements took the better part of a couple minutes. Part of him wanted to run, get away, deal with his pain himself. But another part of him -- a stronger part, maybe -- wanted to feel whole again. And really, he couldn’t feel whole if he wasn’t there to feel it.

Finally, Ian stood in front of Mickey, inches away from him. His eyes never left the gun during his trek, and he slowly held it out, surrendering the weapon to his ex-boyfriend. “Please -- please don’t leave,” he whispered, his voice cracking, his emotions s l o w l y breaking him one piece at a time. His eyes finally looked away from the object, and at Mickey once again. “Please don’t leave me alone.”

MICKEY MILKOVICH

this, for a long time, had been mickey’s worse nightmare . when ian first started showing signs of the disease’s low lows , and all that mental health talk , that he never had to pay attention to before ian , started , no matter who was talking about it , suicide’s imminent threat always found it’s way into the speech . when the woman at the clinic told ian about having a suicide list , mickey’s stomach fell and he feared the day ian might need it . and now , even after he falsely convinced himself that ian is past and nothing else , that day has come and it still fucking hurts , way more than he could ever have imagined .

❛ hey, it’s okay, ❜ rushes to say , head spinning with the speed of his heart . sounds too much like the worried boyfriend he once was , and that didn’t turn out very well in the end , hardly thinks it would help now . teeth sink onto bottom lip , licking the sting away as he carefully watches ian move . ❛ it’s okay to feel hopeless sometimes , ❜ it’s less patronizing this time , and it feels better to say it . ❛ everybody does . you lost someone you care about , ian , you’re allowed to feel fuckin’ sad . just don’t want you t’ do anything stupid . ❜ though he can’t relate ( when his own mother died , nobody really saw it coming but nobody was surprised either , life went on like nothing happened and nobody shed a tear, ) , knows that grief affects even the strongest of men , not even psych meds can fight it off .

though ian doesn’t look away from the gun, mickey’s eyes are glued to the redhead , fear and anticipation making fingertips turn cold . only realizes that he’s been holding his breath when they’re inches apart , and the gun is safely in his hands . glares at it , relief washing over his body in a wave so powerful that he almost sways , gripping metal with unnecessary strength while checking the safety , before tucking it in the back of his jeans .

looks up, however, at ian’s broken whisper. and can’t help it , not without the threat of the gun between them , cups his face with ‘ fuck ’ adorned hand , wiping some of the moisture away with his thumb . it becomes too intimate too fast , and he feels a little like a twelve year old girl , with his heart pounding , and how he himself feels like crying now , so it falls from where it rests on pale skin to a clothed shoulder . not fully breaking contact for purely selfish reasons , like he needs to make sure ian is still there .

❛ i’m not goin’ anywhere, ❜ promises , no hesitation in his stance . can’t even recall the last thing ian asked of him that he didn’t promptly deliver . and it’s not something that he is proud of , mind you . when he’s alone and the memories start their haunting , he hates that ian brings that trait off him , hates that ian could ask him the stars that he’d find a way to reach them . it’s stupid , childish even , but it doesn’t even cross his mind right then . it’s easy to forget these silly things amidst crisis , or at an unlikely reunion . ❛ ‘m not leavin’ , i’m here . okay ? don’t worry , i’m not leavin’ you alone like this . c’mon . ❜

IAN GALLAGHER

Ian’s heart couldn’t help but skip a beat when Mickey put his hand on his face, running his thumb across his freckled skin. After two years, he still couldn’t make his heart forget the love that he felt for the older male. It had always been Mickey, honestly. Back in high school, and more recently. Whenever Ian tried to have a relationship with other guys in the past two years, it never worked out. Simply because they just weren’t Mickey.

When Mickey said that he wasn’t leaving, Ian felt a wave of relief wash over him. He was sure that once the threat was gone, once Mickey had the gun in hand, that he would leave. He’d feel like Ian’s life was no longer in danger and would take that to mean his duty was over. But he was staying.

“Thank you,” Ian said softly, and attempted to manage a smile, but it fell flat. His heart still hurt, his head still unable to process anything. He couldn’t find the joy in his soul to be able to be really happy. Even though, somewhere deep inside, he was. He was happy that Mickey was staying. That he was there. That he had come at Ian’s text. Because that meant, even though Ian had been a major ass towards Mickey in the past, Mickey still cared.

“No one’s home,” Ian said, his voice still soft. He ran a hand through his short hair, before closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don’t --” He couldn’t think. His mind was a fog that was refusing to clear so he could make sense of what was currently going on with him. “I need --” When he was feeling manic, or depressed, he was supposed to sleep it off. He was able to extract that much from his mind. “Downers. Sedatives. Uh --” He rubbed a hand roughly across his face. “Appointment. For -- to readjust meds. Gotta call --”

He suddenly felt so exhausted, the only thing he wanted to do was lay down and just stare at the ceiling. He didn’t want to sleep -- even though he knew he needed to. He just didn’t have the energy to do anything. Ian leaned down, wrapping his arms around Mickey and resting his forehead on the shorter male’s shoulder. “Maybe Lip can call. I don’t -- I can’t --” More tears welled up in his eyes; he felt like a burden -- so helpless, so dependent. “I can’t think, Mickey. It’s all -- it’s like a fog in my brain. Everything feels like jelly. I just -- I want to lay down.”

MICKEY MILKOVICH

bites his tongue before saying something that would sound uncharacteristically polite on his tongue , you don’t have to thank me , though it’s true . ian has a list of ex - boyfriends to pick from , he has fiona , and lip , and debbie , and so many more people that would rush to his side had he asked for their help . yet , he texted mickey . even after so long , it’s mickey that he called , that he needed . and it’s incredibly reckless to go down that road , he knows , but heart proves time and time again that it’s not the smartest . he should be angry that ian kept him in his emergency list , annoyed at least . but he isn’t . half wishes that he were .

listens carefully to splatter of words, making sense of them not much of a challenge . what catches him by surprise is when slender arms wrap around him as if they belong there , freckled face warm against his shoulder , even through jacket’s fabric . it’s hard to breathe for a second or two , with too much going on in his head . ❛ i —— uh , okay . ❜ the arm that resists the shock moves of it’s own accord , wrapping around him for support .

it’s hard to focus when brain keeps supplying both hopeful , and terrifying scenarios of how this will end . and mickey doesn’t want to think about that ; not now , not ever . just wants to make sure ian is okay , nothing else . hand reassuringly rubs up and down ian’s back , though he’s not sure which of the two of them he is reassuring . ❛ alright , let’s get you home first , then . we’ll get you all of that an’ i’ll figure out the rest as we go . no need t’ give yourself a headache , ‘kay ? ❜ sighs , and hopes it’s subtle enough that he nearly nuzzles ian’s hair when blue eyes dare slip shut for a moment .

all but shakes himself off it, taking a deep breath when glancing at the gray sight that surrounds them everywhere . get your shit together , milkovich . ❛ am i gonna have to carry you ? c’mon , gallagher , ❜ half pokes , half means it . it wouldn’t be the first time , and they are close enough to the house . pushes him a little , hoping for a glance of his face , needing some distance , any distance between them so he can think . it’s hard , a knot on his throat that he just can’t swallow , the whole ordeal still too familiar .

IAN GALLAGHER

When Mickey mentioned carrying him, Ian shook his head gently against the older male’s shoulder. It took him a moment, but he finally pulled his head up, standing up straight and pulling one of his arms back, but still using the other to use Mickey for support. Ian didn’t feel that, at the current moment, he could fully support his own weight on his own. And, as they started walking to the Gallagher abode, Ian was happy that Mickey was there to lean on -- it kept him walking, kept him moving, kept him from completely giving up.

They finally made it inside the house, and Ian looked at the stairs with defeat, his shoulders sagging slightly. He didn’t think he could make it up those unless he wanted to crawl the whole way. Instead, he let go of Mickey, walking the few steps to the couch and practically collapsing on top of the cushions. He curled up into himself almost immediately, bringing his knees up to his chest.

Ian was happy that no one else was home -- that meant they weren’t seeing him in his current state. That meant that they didn’t start falling all over themselves with worry, making sure that their brother was okay. And it also meant that Ian didn’t have to deal with the onslaught of questions of why Mickey was there.

Ian closed his eyes, speaking as he wrapped his arms around himself. “My -- my downers are upstairs. Bedside table. Just need to sleep it off, Mick.”

MICKEY MILKOVICH

doesn’t speak on their walk towards the house, arm firm around ian , supporting what of his weight that his legs couldn’t . face feels warm and blames it on the effort though it’s minimal , short build far stronger than it looks . eyes remain focused on the way ahead , displaying unwavering patience despite obvious preference for the fast - paced ; things only go slow in his hectic life when there’s something wrong , and he hates it . if it were someone else in his arm , it might have been different . he might have rushed , or left . but not ian .

once inside, he waits. glances up at the redhead’s profile as he glares at the stairs . knows what he will pick before he does , and finds no surprise in watching ian drop onto the couch , in the living room that looks almost the same as he remembers . ❛ yeah , okay , ❜ nods , a beat before he’s moving again , taking the steps two at a time . almost expects to bump into one of the gallaghers though he knows better , bursting into ian’s empty room like no time has passed at all .

finds the pill bottles, without thinking much grabs a pillow , and down he goes again , stopping by the kitchen . there , sniffs a seemingly clean mug on the counter , and it doesn’t smell like anything so he fills it with water . that’s good enough . unsurprisingly , ian still is on the couch , not an inch different than when mickey left . fuck . places the mug and the pillow on the coffee table .

❛ here , ❜ shakes the bottle , pills rattling against plastic and warning their presence . opens the cap , pops two on the center his palm , then exchanges drugs for ceramic . hesitates , teeth catching bottom lip when holding out one hand with the pills for ian to grab , while the other waits to pass him the mug . ❛ sit up a little to take ‘em , man . ❜

IAN GALLAGHER

When Mickey came back downstairs with the medication, Ian let out a small groan, nodding. He’d choke if he tried to take the pills while laying down, but he just really didn’t have the energy to do much. Ian slowly pushed himself up from the couch, taking the pills and the cup from Mickey. He eyed the pillow for a moment, before looking at Mickey with raised eyebrows, a smile threatening the corners of his lips. “You brought me a pillow?”

Shaking his head slightly in disbelief and possibly amusement, Ian threw back the pills, sipping on the water before setting it down on the coffee table. He reached over, grabbing the pillow and throwing it down on the couch. “Thanks,” he said softly, looking at Mickey. He didn’t mean just for the pillow. He meant for coming when Ian texted him, for being there, for not leaving -- for being Mickey.

Ian laid back down on the couch, curling around the pillow. His eyes were soft, even though haunted as well, as he looked at Mickey through half-lids. “I love you,” he spoke softly. He knew he shouldn’t say it. Didn’t have the right. But he couldn’t help himself. In that moment, Mickey was the only thing keeping him afloat.

It didn’t typically take long for his downers to kick in, which was a good thing for Ian -- he usually needed them as soon as possible whenever he was taking them. Unfortunately, they weren’t working fast enough that day to kick in before one of his siblings returned home. Ian didn’t even bother to look up to see who it was -- he knew their voice would give them away soon enough.

“The fuck is Mickey doin' here? You guys back together or somethin'?” Lip. Of course it had to be Lip. Debbie or Carl, they’d drop it quick enough -- but Lip and Fiona were ever the big siblings. Lip’s voice seemed to soften the next moment as he spoke, presumably having seen the state his brother was in. “Hey, man, you okay?” He felt a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. “That why Mickey’s here? Ian, what happened?”

Ian closed his eyes tightly, curling into himself even further. He buried his face into the pillow, shaking his head. He didn’t want to talk about it. Didn’t want to think about it. “Need you to call for an appointment,” came his muffled reply. His brother’s overly concerned voice reached his ears. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. Sure, bud. I’ll call. Just get some sleep, alright?” With his face buried, Ian missed the confused and worried look Lip shot Mickey, before glancing at his broken brother once more and walking off to make the call.

MICKEY MILKOVICH

he didn’t really think through before picking a pillow from ian’s bed , it just —— happened . being put under the spotlight for it , mickey looks away , embarrassment in the way he shrugs it off . ❛ your couch is fuckin’ shit , ❜ defends himself , as if that’s all the explanation needed . and it is . the gesture speaks for itself . watches in silence as ian takes his pills , heart feeling small . he’s safe now , that’s all that matters . so what if he doesn’t need mickey anymore ?

❛ yeah , whatever , ❜ dismisses the gratitude in the redhead’s voice , staring at his own shoes . he doesn’t have to be thanked , mickey hasn’t done anything that anyone else in his place wouldn’t have . with a sigh , lowers himself onto the armchair , sitting at the very edge .

they share a look once he’s laying down again , blue eyes lingering on green as if he’s never seen them before . then , the words that ian cruelly whispers rip through his chest , and the reply gets stuck on tight throat . I LOVE YOU . heart misses a beat , gaze falling and focusing on an inanimate object instead for what feels like the hundredth time in the last five minutes . he can’t say it back , though feels it as strongly as he did all that time ago . this is wrong . this whole ordeal is wrong , the mixed feelings it brings to surface are too much for a man who’s denied having them for almost seventeen years . remembers of a time that he wouldn’t have felt too bad for bolting . misses that .

fingers are rubbing eyes into their sockets as if they’re about to fall off when the door opens , and he’ll deny any moisture left on fingertips . glances at lip , shoulders tense , and his question is to be expected , of course . it’s been years since mickey last set foot in the gallagher house . ❛ not together , i’m just helpin’ out , ❜ answers , though the question isn’t directed at him . wonders if now that lip is here he is allowed to go home , but reminds himself that he promised ian that he’d stay , so decides to wait until he’s asleep . no matter how awkward this gets .

pretends not to hear their conversation by looking the other way , thinks it’s the polite thing to do , though they aren’t saying anything that he doesn’t already know . maybe he’s just hoping to avoid lip’s further questioning by pretending that he has no idea of the gravity of this . he doesn’t want to tell lip that ian texted him and he came running , doesn’t want to tell him that his little brother had been thinking about suicide . but he has to , doesn’t he ? eventually , he will have to .

at the look thrown his way, he holds for a second , gesturing with his hand for lip to drop it for now . they can talk later , once ian is blissfully asleep and unaware of their deep - set worry . just because he’s aware that he won’t be able to avoid this conversation forever , it doesn’t mean that he can’t hinder it for as long as it’s possible .

IAN GALLAGHER

The next few days were a blur for Ian. He remembered falling asleep on the couch, listening to the sound of Lip on the phone, making an appointment for him. And then the next thing he knew, it was the following day and Lip was trying to get him out of bed for said appointment. He wasn’t sure how he had even gotten in bed. Everything was a haze, Ian didn’t remember much from it all. It was like the world was turning in slow motion, and gravity had increased. Everything around him seemed to move at half speed, including himself, and each step forward took a great amount of energy.

After that, everything just seemed to kind of blur together. He knew he got an increase in his dosage, to help him get through his grief -- the increase wouldn’t last forever, the doctor had said, and that they’d revisit it in six weeks to see how he was doing. She warned that he’d sleep a lot -- which wasn’t news to anyone, honestly -- but it wouldn’t be as bad as when he first started taking his medication.

Ian had been sleeping off and on, more on than anything. He remembered people trying to bring him food, Fiona trying to be encouraging, Debbie sitting with him at one point, he even remembered Mickey’s face a couple times. Besides that, it was dream land, taking pills, and then dream land again.

Ian blinked his eyes open, letting out a yawn. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, before glancing at the clock -- it was about half past noon. Slowly sitting up in bed, he ran a hand through his hair. His mind felt groggy, but more lucid than it had before. A quick glance at his phone told him it had been a few days since he had called Mickey, since he had his emotional breakdown. His limbs felt weak, and his body was protesting moving -- but his mind wanted to surge through the fog, his heart feeling lighter than it had previously.

Slowly standing up, Ian walked to the door, making sure to take his time and not rush himself -- his limbs would probably give out if he tried to move too fast. The stairs were an obstacle that he didn’t know how he managed. He took it one step at a time, holding onto the railing for support. Finally, he made it into the kitchen, closing his eyes and letting out another yawn. “I feel like I just woke from the dead,” he quipped easily, walking over to the counter and grabbing a mug, pouring himself a cup of coffee. “Mmm, caffeine, my sweet, dear friend.”

#mkvch #{ xx v; it's always been you }#{ xx v; it's always been you | 01 }#i hate formatting #suicidal thoughts tw #depression tw #guns tw

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architectnews · 3 years

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"I respond to every fucking detail of the time we're in" says Frank Gehry

Frank Gehry's new tower in Arles fits with both the ancient Roman city and today's environmental agenda, the architect claimed in an exclusive interview with Dezeen.

Speaking to Dezeen in Arles last week the Pritzker Prize-winner said The Tower, which has a steel-and-concrete frame and a glazed drum at its base, responds to current concerns about the carbon footprint of architecture.

The Tower opened last week

"We fit into it," said the Canadian-American architect. "But I can't explain it. I respond to every fucking detail of the time we're in with the people we live with, in this place," added the 92-year-old when asked about the building's environmental performance.

"So it's all taken into account as best I can," he continued.

"You know, I believe that's the most important thing to do," he added, gesturing to the face mask in his hands. "To live in the place and time you are in and what the issue is, you know, even with these fucking masks."

Sustainable elements include natural ventilation of the circular glazed podium while some of the building's energy comes from renewable sources. However, precise details of the building's embodied carbon have not been disclosed. The team did not submit the building for environmental certification under the French HQE programme.

The tower forms part of the Luma Arles cultural campus

The Tower finally opened last week along with the rest of the vast Luma Arles cultural campus after a 14-year gestation period.

It serves as an entrance pavilion, lookout tower, exhibition-and-events space and beacon for the 27-acre campus commissioned by Maja Hoffmann, the art-collecting founder of Luma Foundation and the heiress to the Hoffmann-La Roche (now Roche) pharmaceutical fortune.

Founded in 2004, the philanthropic foundation "focuses on the direct relationships between art, culture, environmental issues, human rights, education and research".

The Luma name comes from Hoffmann's children, Lucas and Marina, echoing the way her father, the eminent environmentalist and World Wildlife Fund co-founder Luc Hoffmann, named his philanthropic conservation body MAVA Foundation after the initials of his children.

"I try not to repeat myself"

Gehry and Hoffmann, who is Swiss but grew up on her father's estate in the Camargue wetlands near Arles, first began discussing the building in 2006. This was long before sustainability topped the architectural agenda but when shiny icons were still very much the rage.

Their conversations began nine years after the opening of Gehry's titanium-clad Guggenheim Museum Bilbao and three years after the completion of his stainless-steel Walt Disney Concert Hall in Los Angeles.

But Gehry said that each project is a one-off rather than fitting into an evolution of his architectural approach.

"I try not to repeat myself," he said. "I just think about it at the time I'm doing it, the people I'm working with, like Maja, the community."

"So I don't think of it," he added. "I mean, naturally, there's like this historical lineage but it's just how I feel at this time in this place."

Gehry's influences include Roman and Romanesque architecture

The 1997 Bilbao building introduced Gehry to the world, rebooted the city's economy and self-image, and fuelled the trend for iconic cultural buildings in cities hoping to replicate "the Bilbao effect".

Gehry sounds a little bemused by the term. "I don't really care about that, but it's nice that it changed the community," he said, as one of his team interjected, pointing out that he received death threats when the building was first proposed.

"When I went to Bilbao it was sad," he continued. "They were having a hard time economically. The kids growing up left Bilbao to go to college. They didn't stay there."

Gehry's Guggenheim is credited with turning around the fortunes of the post-industrial city in Spain's Basque country.

"I didn't mean to change the city"

"This has changed the economy," he said. "People come. I've been told they earn over eight billion Euros since the building opened. When you go there now it's friendly and open and happy."

"People are always telling me how I changed the city," he added. "I didn't mean to change the city, I just meant to be part of the city."

But Arles is no Bilbao. The UNESCO world heritage site is already a magnet for visitors coming for its spectacular Roman remains, its connection with artist Vincent van Gogh and Les Rencontres d'Arles, its world-renowned annual photography festival.

Located in a former SNCF railway engineering works on the edge of town, the Luma Arles campus adds another world-class attraction to the tiny city, which has a population of just 50,000.

The Luma Arles campus is at the edge of the ancient city

The railway sheds, repurposed into workshops, galleries and performance spaces by Selldorf Architects, are monumental in scale but these are eclipsed by Gehry's 56-metre-high tower. It is by far the tallest building in the area and dominates Avenue Victor Hugo, the main route into Arles, on a rise above the campus.

It towers over French architect Marc Barani's low-slung and discreetly minimalist École Nationale Supérieure de la Photographie, the French national photography school that sprang from the photo festival and opened in 2019, which lies directly across the road.

Arles, once a Roman provincial capital, sits on a low hill beside the river Rhône just before it enters the Camargue wetlands (which Hoffmann's father is credited with saving and where he established the Tour du Valat nature reserve) on its way to the Mediterranean, which is over 40 kilometres away.

"I don't antagonise. I don't try that"

The idea to build a tower came from Hoffmann, who expressed a desire to be able to "see the sea from the tower". But despite the requirement to build tall, Gehry said he did not intend to build a provocative structure.

"Well, I try to make it the scale of where we are," he said when reminded of the backlash from neighbours when he built his seminal 1978 home in Santa Monica. "And I try to make it user-friendly and not off-putting. So, you know, I don't make it black. And I don't antagonise. I don't try that. That's not my way."

The design process involved making dozens of scale models, many of which are exhibited in the vast exhibition space beneath the tower. These show how various approaches were explored including stacks of cubes, piles of oblongs and fabric-like forms.

However, none of the early models shows the twin concrete lift towers that break up the sculptural form at the rear of the tower.

A pair of concrete lift towers protrude from the rear of the tower

"There are over 100 models made of metal, wood… it was a long, long journey," said Gehry.

Over his career, Gehry has pioneered new approaches to creating architectural form, including scanning roughly made paper and card models and manipulating them in 3D software.

But this time, the models were made by his team. "I don't make them myself," he said. "I used to. It is a collaborative effort."

Gehry cites numerous local influences on the tower's form. Vincent van Gogh, the artist who lived in the city between 1888 and 1889 and painted many of his best-known works here, is one of them.

Gehry has compared the stainless-steel facade to the brushwork in Van Gogh's painting of Les Alpilles, a low range of mountains to the north-east of Arles that features distinctive limestone outcrops. He has also cited the nocturnal Starry Night painting as an influence.

The cladding was informed by Vincent van Gogh's paintings

The Roman architecture of Arles is another influence, with its famous amphitheatre informing the glazed drum at the base of The Tower.

"Certainly the Roman amphitheatres were in my mind but I didn't want to copy them," he said at the press conference that marked the building's opening, when he joked that The Tower is "my first Roman building".

"But I thought that having a drum on the boulevard that became the foyer for the whole building was a simple way of inviting people from all sides, from all directions, as well as having a strong symbol, presence on the street."

The drum is naturally ventilated, one of a number of energy-saving features that were reverse-engineered into the project to make it more sustainable as the project rumbled on.

Others include a biodiesel plant and solar panels that provide some of the power for the campus, and the use of interior cladding made from local materials including agricultural waste, algae and salt to replace the originally specified gypsum drywall.

The glazed drum is informed by Arles' Roman amphitheatre

The latter interventions were carried out by designers at Atelier Luma, a design research lab located at the campus and headed by curator and educator Jan Boelen. There was apparently some tension over these interventions: when another journalist asked one of Gehry's team about the materials, he replied: "That wasn't us".

Gehry took further inspiration from Romanesque architecture, including landmarks he visited when studying architecture in Paris in the 1950s.

"I visited here," he said at the press conference. "I was living in Paris and studying Roman architecture. I was very moved by the architecture."

Speaking to Dezeen later, he rattled off a list of Roman-influenced medieval buildings around the country he recalls visiting in his student days, admiring their stonework.

"Autun, Vézelay, Tournus... I guess that's Romanesque. Yeah. I liked the stone blocks but I didn't want to repeat that."

Rather than stone, The Tower is faced in 11,000 hollow, non-structural blocks made of stainless steel sheets that have a textured pattern on them, allowing them to reflect the harsh Provençal light in a softer way.

"So we studied metal because it reflects the light. But I wondered if it could be soft and feel comfortable. Which it does."

Inevitably, the building has its detractors. Does criticism concern Gehry? Or does he prefer to give people a bit of time to get used to new buildings in their neighbourhood?

"It's more like the latter," he replied. "I don't presume anything. Really. I call it friendly or happy insecurity."

The post "I respond to every fucking detail of the time we're in" says Frank Gehry appeared first on Dezeen.

#Architecture – Dezeen

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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The Top 15 Most Shameless Moments

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If you missed Shameless last year, there is no reason to worry. A cast member or two will be ready at the top of Dec. 6’s premiere to curse you for being the spoiled suburban princess that you are.

But as enjoyable as every season of irrepressible Gallagher behavior can be, there’s little denying that each year features something so Shameless that it dwarfs the rest of the bad behavior that came before it. These are moments that are so crass in their unapologetic depravity that they transcend being more broken furniture on the South Side, and instead become a true work of Gallagher (or Milkovich) art. There are quite a few of these Gallagher-ups, but we’ve boiled it down to the 15 essentials ahead of the final season.

15. The Time When Karen Jackson Finally Became “Daddy’s Girl”….

Karen is a very difficult character to like. While undoubtedly sympathetic because of her upbringing at the hands of a Catholic hypocrite and a love-smothering agoraphobe, she is also a girl who messed with Lip’s head three-ways to Sunday and would rather feed her special needs kid to the system than let her mother raise him.

However, her earliest sign of wrathful vengeance is also one that is totally justified, and a subversively hilarious bit from Season 1. When her dad slut shames her in front of the local church community after she confesses to her (admittedly many) lustful sins, she gets back at him and then some. She dyes her hair, she gets facial piercings… and she seduces (or rapes) a very drunk, defenseless Frank Gallagher before sending daddy the viral video at work.

It is sick, underhanded, and somehow a completely cathartic moment of television. Frank’s inebriated actions with the 16-year-old daughter of his girlfriend on the other hand… At least, Karen finally reconciled with her dad when she defecated on his tombstone.

14. The Time When Hurricane Monica Swept up Baby Liam….

Looking back, there are a lot of instances where tiny baby Liam was used as a prop for mean-spirited Shameless writing. Yet one of the cruelest abuses came at the hand of his own mother. All of season 1 felt like Fiona, Lip, and Ian trying to keep their heads above water with their younger, more innocent siblings watching as helplessly as their drunken, deadbeat dad. It ultimately raised the question: where is their mother and why is she gone?

Shameless Showrunner Talks Life After Emmy Rossum… and William H. Macy?

By David Crow

Why Shameless’ Frank Gallagher Is The Nastiest Protagonist On TV…And Possibly The Best

By David Crow

Well, after two hours with Hurricane Monica, every viewer knew that it’d have been better if she had never returned. At first, Monica is always smiles and lollipops for the kids she abandoned, even more thoroughly than Frank who at least wanders past the old homestead for drug money every couple of weeks.

However, she makes her intentions clear when she attempts to take Liam as her only child to be raised with the new lesbian truck driving “love of her life.” It is a quiet admission that she screwed up royally raising her other kids, so she’d rather just start from scratch with Liam, a new life to destroy while ignoring the rest of the blood of her blood. It is a horrifically callous thing to do to one’s own kids, and probably a fate even more horrible for Liam, who despite his troubles in Season 4, never ended up in the crack den that Monica would.

13. Hurricane Monica Attempts Suicide for Thanksgiving

A sadder moment of shamelessness, this, Monica upsets what was an otherwise happy Thanksgiving at the end of season 2. While no turkey had been carved, there was plenty of bald eagle (courtesy of Carl), and good cheer going around between the whole clan, including a reunited Fionna and Simmy (Steve/Jimmy).

It does not last though when Monica, suffering another bout of depression due to her Bipolar disorder, goes into the kitchen and decides to carve her own arm. There is something definitely depressing about her not being able to handle moments of happiness. But it’s also dispiriting the whole family can’t even have a Thanksgiving without at least one Gallagher going to the hospital. Happy holidays, folks.

12. The Time When Frank Traded Liam In For a Gambling Debt…

This could just be a list of Frank’s 15 most shameless moments, because here is a man who never met a good decision that he didn’t puke at the sight of before running in the other direction with a cackle. In truth though, it wasn’t entirely Frank’s fault that Liam became leverage for his gambling debt after he challenged (with more than a hint of racism) a fellow Alibi bar patron that he couldn’t stay conscious through two taser blasts (spoiler alert: he did). So Frank took Liam without permission from his more responsible kids as a panhandling prop to gather the $10,000 due.

And when the drug dealing shark came to collect, and then kidnapped his son as collateral, Frank not only ignored them taking Liam but shrugged it off without telling Fiona, Lip, or anyone that could take responsibility. Nope, Frank just shrugged off his son’s kidnapping, proving once again that he is God’s perfect asshole.

11. The Time When Fiona Slept with Her Boyfriend/Boss’s Brother…Twice (or more)…

Emmy Rosusm‘s Fiona committed spectacular career and relationship suicide when she let lovably bland Mike’s older, drug-addicted brother tap into her own addiction for sex with complete morons. Robbie is the kind of guy who will do cocaine tomorrow and, well past 30, ask his parents to flip for his spa rehab treatment tomorrow. In short he’s the perfect target for Fi to blow things with Mr. Vanilla, who wanted to do stuff like take her out to dinner for her birthday or have a phone chat every night.

Mike isn’t for Fiona, but talk about throwing the race to get past the poverty line right at the photo finish. When Robbie calls Fi an addict for sex, excitement, and all other momentary vices, she begrudgingly believes him. Sadly, it sets up a far less characteristic screw-up involving cocaine and Liam that is less shameless and more tragic…

10. The Time When the Milkoviches Dug a Grave in the Mary Kay Letourneau Stand-In’s Front Yard…

That is one way to get rid of the competition! When Lip Gallagher discovered that a child predator lived in the neighborhood, he set up one of Shameless’ best gags by gathering an eclectic posse of otherwise isolated factions to kick this guy’s ass. Except it wasn’t a guy, it was a hot 20-something blonde teacher who likes them young. Real young. Lip still wanted her ass, but in a very different way. After erstwhile-girlfriend Mandy Milkovich figures out what’s going on, she gathers Mickey and her other brothers to handle things the Milkovich way—a style far beyond those Gallaghers pansies.

When Miss Thing opens her door one chilly evening, she meets a chipper Mandy, smiling as the big bros are four feet deep in a freshly dug hole in the garden. Mandy gives her a choice: she can pack all the things she can in the next 15 minutes and go, or wait for the Milkoviches to reach the magic number of six feet and go in the hole. As Mandy grins at one less predator in Chicago fleeing into the midnight darkness, anyone could tell that Mandy was more than a little disappointed she couldn’t fill the hole with more than a threat; luckily, her brothers had some other poor faceless schmo ready to go. Never waste a perfectly good grave, especially in soil that soft!

9. The Time Debbie Gallagher Got Pregnant to Keep a Guy

Debbie Gallagher had a rough childhood. Fiona did her best as the older sister trying to also play den mother, but she really couldn’t give Debbie the type of attention she needed, or the family life she craved. And crave it, she did. So much so that when she became a teenager and faced the prospect of a life outside the Gallagher house, she decided she might make one of her own, immediately, especially if it could “trap” a guy.

So in season 5, she makes the conscious choice to lie about “being on the pill” when she has sex with Derek at the age of 16. And upon getting pregnant, she thinks she will be able to keep the boy and have Fiona to help raise it while she finishes school. Instead Fi tries to force her into an abortion, which is its own thorny issue, but then so is Debs keeping the baby she thinks will earn her the family life she always craved. Instead Franny puts her on the path of dropping out of high school and having a responsibility she just as often tries to shirk as take seriously.

8. The Time When Debbie Saved the House…by Accusing Cousin Patrick of Molestation

Oh, they grow up so fast, don’t they? When the series started Debs was the loving younger Gallagher sister who only wanted Frank to spend more time in the house, and maybe to have a Great Aunt Ginger around to bake them cookies (more on her later). But like her older siblings, she has to grow up eventually. For this family that means realizing that:

a) Frank is useless piece of shit.

b) Monica’s probably worse as the emotional hand grenade with the pin always falling out.

c) The only way the Gallaghers will ever get ahead is if someone else is going down hard.

Luckily, she learned that last bit at the exact right moment when she almost sent Cousin Patrick away for probably 10 to 15. Patrick had proven to be as big a Gallagher as the rest of the family when he wrote his cousins’ house in his name on a forged will that supposedly belonged to Great Aunt Ginger. So when the body was finally exhumed and the last social security check had been cashed, he was ready to evict his own cousins to make a little extra on the side. But when Debbie discovered her voice in front of the evicting cops, it seemed like Cousin Patrick also wanted a little more on the side. The kind of side that would end with a shiv tip in prison.

When faced with those kind of charges, the Gallaghers kept their house with a diminished rent check of only a few hundred dollars a month, and Debbie earned her first ounce of seniority respect as a force to be reckoned with from Fiona and Lip. It was only the beginning.

7. The Time Frank Tries to Ruin Fiona’s Wedding/His Kids… Try to Kill Him?

Technically what Frank Gallagher did on the day of his daughter’s wedding saved her a lot of pain. He’d discovered her husband-to-be Sean (Dermott Mulroney) was an addict who’d relapsed and was still going to marry her. She was entering a marriage under false pretenses, and Frank would in his own way stop the heartache. Of course that isn’t why Frank did it. He was simply pissed and snotty about his daughter refusing to let him give her away.

So he spied on Sean looking for anything he could latch onto would ruin Fiona’s big day. And boy did he found it. He intervened not as a concerned father but as a vengeful bratty child who wanted to inflict the maximum amount of embarrassment and shame on his daughter. And that he did, humiliating her in front of all their friends and family.

Ergo his children tried something they’d never attempted before: Throwing papa from a bridge. Did they think the fall would kill him? They certainly had to be aware it was a possibility, particularly on a cold Chicago morning. Frankly, my dear, I don’t think they gave a damn. Pity he survived.

6. The Time When Sheila is coaxed into Killing Frank’s Mother…

Death is part of the circle of life. And if that life is as rotten as Gammy Gallagher’s was, then we might be ready to close that circle early. Unlike her kicking and screaming son in Season 4, Grammy not only welcomed a shuffle off this mortal coil, she longed for it. And she found the perfect instrument to end her cancerous suffering in the guise of Sheila Jackson, the sweetly endearing neighborhood fool.

Sure, Grammy and Sheila got off to a rough start with accusations of one being a crude, rude, monster mother, and the other being a homebody vampire, but the two found an understanding when Sheila became Grammy’s nurse in Frank’s absence.

Grammy even convinced Sheila that part of those nursing duties included kindly smothering her into the afterlife. That is one way to make an exit, and Sheila actually thinks she is doing God’s work! It is a moment that is equal parts tender, horrifying, and laughable. In short, it is pure Shameless.

5. The Time When the Gallaghers Kidnap “Aunt Ginger” From Veronica’s Nursing Home…

The good thing about Alzheimer’s patients is they can keep some damn big secrets: like being kidnapped or dressed as a long dead Ginger Gallagher. To rewind for a moment, Great Aunt Ginger was one of the hardest working Gallaghers the family has ever known. She practically turned her preferred street corner into her own place of kneeling. But by the time she died, she had reached the golden age of Social Security checks.

So without telling anyone, Frank Gallagher buried her in the backyard and collected her SS money for over a decade. Now whether he told everyone else that she moved to Michigan because he knew her passing would break their hearts or because he wanted to keep the money for his booze is a mystery left completely solved by common sense. Nevertheless, when the federal government finally caught on something fishy was happening, the beans are spilled and the Gallaghers have to scramble to find a new “Great Aunt Ginger” or face child services.

Enter New Great Aunt Ginger, compliments of Veronica’s nursing home for the severely forgetful. It is hard to tell what is sadder, that the day the Gallaghers spend taking “holiday” pictures for a lifetime with the new Ginger went by as a real day of family activity for the confused woman… or that this was the first time Debbie felt like she had a maternal figure to latch onto. It is a twisted warm and fuzzy resolution to this early, infamous Shameless supblot.

4. The Time When Mandy Facilitated Karen’s “Accident”….

For the Milkovich family, nothing says love like an attempted murder. So Mandy must have really loved Lip, because she did it twice. The first time was a (possibly) idle threat to the inappropriate teacher, but there was nothing idle about Mandy’s methodical destruction of Karen’s life.

To be clear, Karen is not a good person. In the scene leading up to her accident, Sheila takes responsibility for her daughter turning out as such a repugnant human being, and the pain of the sequence is that there is some truth in it. But whatever Karen or Sheila’s failings, it does not excuse what comes next.

Karen receives a text from Lip, promising to make amends for the mean things he last said to her if she meets him in the park. But instead of finding Lip’s proverbial mouth, she ends up kissing an SUV’s metallic grill when it plows into her going at least 40 mph. Sure, Karen lives, but she is now as mentally gone as her special needs child, Hymie.

Mentally handicapped for life, Karen’s story is done, ending in a way more broken than any Gallagher’s has so far experienced. What Mandy did is incredibly evil: stealing a phone and setting a trap that she had hours to contemplate. Karen was bad for Lip, but Mandy did something rare even for a show like Shameless: she crossed a line.

3. Frank Calls DCFS on His Kids

Another line was crossed in the third season, and it revealed the true awfulness of Frank’s parenting skills. To be fair, we’d known about “Father” Frank since he punched Ian in the face in the series premiere. Plus, there is that time he used Liam as collateral listed above. However, at least the latter moment was written with a tongue-in-cheek, as the show never doubted Fiona and Lip would get the lad back.

What was done without an ounce of humor is the time Frank threw a pity party for himself and then called DCFS on his own kids. Why? Because they kicked him out of the house after he acted the belligerent drunk for the millionth time. So, nursing his wounds at the Alibi, he decides to show the ingrates by calling Child Services on them, revealing his kin are living without parental supervision. The act of pathetic revenge nearly loses all of Frank’s children to the foster care system, with Fiona spends the whole season fighting desperately to keep the kids… and consigning her future to the trash heap as a result.

Frank should’ve gone off that bridge much sooner.

2. The Time When Frank Pretends to Be a Boyfriend to His Estranged Daughter…

When diagnosed with cancer, most people would do anything to survive the harrowing fight. But Frank isn’t most people, as he does them all one better: he tracks down his eldest daughter, who he has never met before, and pretends to be a straight-edged Good Samaritan looking for a date. Clearly Sammi has daddy issues when she looks at Frank as a suitor and is willing to give him a slice of her liver after two dates.

To Frank’s credit, he never seems into kissing his daughter, making out with his daughter, seeing his daughter in her underwear, or apparently grinding on his daughter off-screen. But he still does it all. It is quite honestly one of the most disgusting, deplorable, and instantly iconic Frank storylines in all of Shameless. Miraculously, Sammi stays by Frank’s side as a daughter when the truth comes flooding out. Some viewers may condemn her, but how many of us still watch after seeing the other crap he’s gotten up to? In fact, this isn’t even his most outrageous medical scam…

1. The Time When Frank Lied About Dottie’s Transplant and then Broke Her Heart…

Yes, the most lowdown, brazen, and high-handed action came early in season 2 in a moment that feels like it was (almost) paid back by the universe’s karma in season 4. It’s the time when Frank knew about Dottie’s heart transplant… and then still banged her to death. Literally. Frank found out that “butterface” Dottie, the Alibi’s former good-time girl who worked for the city, is quickly dying and is in need of a heart transplant. The likelihood of her surviving this is so low that Frank is willing to marry her and knowingly “light a candle for you everyday.”

What he really wants is to be placed in her will for all that government pension money. He doesn’t even have to sleep with her, because the act of making love will kill her barely-operating heart. So when bride-to-be Dottie is in the shower, Frank is the only one to hear her get the call: she has won the medical lottery and is going to get a heart transplant! Except, she’s already dead. At least that is what Frank tells the hospital before hanging up.

And it was all for naught. Dottie ended up giving her money to the estranged adult daughter she barely knew, leaving Frank with nothing. Frank’s only consolation prize is that she is sick of waiting for a heart that will never come (Frank made sure of that), and she requests that he screws the life out of her, which he does with aplomb.

He didn’t let her know about a heart transplant for money that he’d never see, and he still sleeps with her, knowing full well that this will be how she dies. Frank killed Dottie and won’t even light a candle at the church without stealing some donation money. It does not get more Shameless than that.

Editor’s Note: The original version of this article was published on January 11, 2015.

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magically-strange · 7 years

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Costumed Craving...

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

It’s amazing how quickly things can go from bad to worse, especially during a time when all is supposed to be right with the world.

At first, still with the strange physical or perhaps mental ailments aside, everything was coming up roses. Bringing Marianne to meet his mother on Christmas Eve had been a huge success. Griselda King had been so desperate for her ‘sad and lonely’ son to find romance again, she probably would’ve been pleased if he’d brought a jellyfish home, but a human woman would give her grandchildren.

The two women had gotten along remarkably well; they both had a feistiness interwoven with humor, but also an underlying sense of frankness. Bog had sensed it at various points in their conversation, the brief and silent exchange of warnings: a parent who would protect their son from ill-intentioned females, and a woman who would protect her lover from doubt of sincerity.

Apparently having passed the test, it didn’t take long for Griselda to start not-so-subtley dropping the word ‘marriage’ and other such synonyms around Marianne like china plates on a hard wood floor. Bog thought he would feel more embarrassed about it, especially since, despite having known Marianne only a short while, he had secretly been giving the idea some casual thought, but when he caught sight of the lovely blush and sheepish smile on Marianne’s purple lips as his mother kept on blabbering, whatever reprimand or change of subject he was going to offer just vanished.

But then she’d glanced at him, with those beautiful, big brown eyes filled with a strange sort of hesitant question in them, as if…

He couldn’t have been more shocked if he’d been struck by lightning.

…as if she was asking his approval on the matter.

Did-? Did she-? No way! Did she actually want to?!

Bog could hardly believe it, but unfortunately, they didn’t get a chance to discuss it in private, Griselda was a class-A chatterbox, and all too soon, it was dark out and Marianne had to go home to spend the rest of the holiday evening and following day with her own family, so Bog and his mother could prepare for their company that would be coming to visit the next morning.

He’d kissed Marianne hard before she left, and she’d reciprocated with even greater fire, stirring his hopes for the possible future he was seriously considering pursuing once again.

But then all went to hell...

Bog had never been one for crowds. Even among his own family, he preferred to sit quietly in the corner, and this gathering was no exception. While his numerous aunts, uncles, and cousins mingled throughout the house, Bog sat by the front window drapes, halfheartedly nursing a beer, and trying to drown them all out. For some reason, they all seemed so much louder this year. He could even hear his mother, clear as a bell from the kitchen all the way on the other side of the house, happily telling her sisters about Marianne, her so-called ‘future daughter-in-law’.

By the 26th, most of his relatives had left, but by late afternoon, Griselda and a moodier than usual Bog, welcomed Brutus and his wife and baby for their gift exchange. It was clear that the new parents were exhausted, and Bog, desperate to avoid socializing while feeling so inexplicably tense, volunteered to give the fussy infant her bottle in one of the guest bedrooms.

No argument was given, and soon Bog was alone with the squalling baby, sitting in the rocking chair, and feeding her her formula. When it was obvious the reluctant infant had all she cared to accept, Bog gently burped her and focused on trying to get her down for a nap. Humming a Scottish lullaby his father used to sing to him, Bog propped the baby up on his right shoulder, her little cheek resting against his clavicle as he rocked back and forth. She was a stubborn one, though; whimpering and squirming, so Bog tucked his chin a bit to make her hear him better…

…but then the tune faded out…

…and that craving inside him suddenly rose like the tide, stronger than it ever had before.

It happened so quickly. One minute he was just innocently sitting there with the crying, kicking baby, and the next, as if in a trance, his lips tingled until his mouth parted and all at once, something was flowing into him. Not quite water, not quite air, but whatever it was, it was sweet and rich and exactly what he’d been hungry for these past weeks. It slid down his throat and spread to every corner of his body, filling him with such strength and ease, like the greatest deep-tissue massage imaginable.

For as long as he could take in a single inhale, he reveled in this sensation, and he would’ve eagerly swallowed more, if it weren’t for one vital detail:

Silence.

Rearing back, Bog saw to his astonishment and terror that the infant had gone limp in his arms.

His heart about stopped right then and there, were it not for the gentle rise and fall of her breathing beneath his hand. She’d only fallen asleep, but Bog was no less spooked.

How could she have konked out so fast?

Was it because of…him?

DID HE DO SOMETHING TO THE BABY?!

“Thanks, Bog,” a voice whispered, “you’re a life-saver!”

Flinching, Bog turned to see Brutus’s wife, Monica, entering the room to carefully take her slumbering daughter into her arms. She didn’t seem to notice her friend’s stricken expression, so while she busied herself with settling her infant into the bed, Bog stood on shaky legs and stumbled into the hallway.

Without even bothering to grab his shoes, Bog hobbled out the back door and into the early December evening. His misting breath came in rapid puffs as he shambled out of his mother’s backyard and into the alley, trying in vain to make sense of what just happened. In a few yards, the path led to the back of an open lot used as a neighborhood park, and when Bog reached the chain-link fence, he froze.

Running around among the swing sets and jungle gyms under the watchful eye of their parents, were about ten to fifteen kids, all bundled up against the winter cold. Watching them brought the memory of that mysterious substance Bog had just consumed to his undivided attention; the exquisite taste, the surge of power, the peerless sense of repose.

One of the young boys paused in his play, noticing the strange, tall man, and to Bog’s horror, he found himself hoping the curious child would come closer…closer…

…so he could snatch him up!

“HEY! HEY, YOU!”

Thank God, the angry shout broke the spell, and Bog staggered back from the fence as if he’d been slugged. The mothers were frantically beckoning their children to their sides, while several of the fathers were furiously stalking in Bog’s direction, no doubt intending to beat him up for creeping on their kids.

Aghast at himself, Bog fled blindly through the network of dark alleyways. His bare feet slapped the slick, dirty pavement, and though the wind blew, the chill did not bite his coatless arms, nor his uncovered head.

Too bad everything else did.

As he ran Bog’s senses were assaulted to near madness. The few random cars passing on the adjacent roads roared in his ears as if they were bearing down on him, same for the laughing voices of the people in the houses he passed as they watched their TV specials and played their carols.

His nostrils burned from the impossible number of scents in the air: leftover holiday dinners, plastic toys, family pets, evergreen, cleaning solution, hot wax, furniture, more children! On and on and on!

And though tears began to rise, his vision somehow remained sharp as a pin, even zeroing in on a creeping rat beneath a thick bush bathed in black shadows.

Clenching his eyes shut and blocking his ears in a feeble attempt at protection from this onslaught, Bog tripped over a bottle and landed on his knees in a rain puddle. His pulsed raced and his heavy panting was making the world spin around him. Sweat dripped off his pale face as he shook from head to toe, not even recognizing his own warped image in the disturbed water.

What’s happening to me? The question repeated in his brain over and over like a skipping record until, a single name managed to break through his cloud of panic.

Marianne.

It made no sense. It was stupid and irrational, but his insides were practically clawing beneath his skin with urgency. Part of him didn’t trust it, and wanted to keep running somewhere, anywhere, but the pull of his instincts was too strong.

She’d help him. She’d save him. He knew she would!

He didn’t know how, he didn’t know why, but he just did.

Clambering up on his wobbly legs, he darted through the empty streets, heading for Rydstrom Boulevard, where Marianne’s boxing gym resided. He had plans to meet her tomorrow, but she’d told him she was going to be there today ‘til late, organizing paperwork and tidying up for when she reopened on Monday.

A soon as the building was in sight, Bog scurried around to the back door and pounded against the barrier with all his might, denting the metal.

“MARIANNE!” Bog screamed, even more frightened now by the damage he’d caused. “MARIANNE, OPEN UP! IT’S ME! PLEASE, OPEN THE DOOR! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MARIANNE, PLEASE LET ME IN!!!”

The ten seconds it took for the door to unlock and finally swing open felt like ten hours, but the instant he saw those gorgeous brown eyes gaping at him with worry, he fell over the threshold and collapsed into the warm haven of her arms.

#strange magic #butterfly bog #bog king #marianne #griselda #mystery #part 8 #hall0ween #fic

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cokeisrael4-blog · 5 years

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Can South Philly Hold On to What’s Always Made It Unique?

City

It’s our most famous neighborhood, defined by its immigrants and its characters, by intermingling (sometimes clashing) cultures — and by near-constant change. Where does it go from here?

The rapidly changing South Philly. Photograph by Adam Englehart

In the late summer of 1981, very much against my Catholic mother’s wishes, I had just moved into a rowhouse at 17th and Naudain — then the very bottom edge of Center City — where my new boyfriend lived. Mom, who’d recently been diagnosed with cancer, was coming for her first visit, reluctantly. The neighborhood was admittedly sketchy — most of Center City was, back then — but I was proud of our chic little home, with its new sofa and drapes and the garden planted out back. Mom knocked, I opened the door, and she peered past me into the narrow hallway.

“Oh my God,” she said, and not in a good way. “It’s just like Morris Street.”

That was where my mom grew up: 128 Morris Street, in the heart of South Philly. A hundred or so years ago, for reasons that are lost in the sands of time, Casimir Norvilas, a Lithuanian immigrant, moved there. He was still in his 20s, but he’d already lived an exciting life, having served in the merchant marine and fought Pancho Villa on the U.S.-Mexican border.

In Philly, perhaps calling on some leatherworking skills acquired on the horse farm near Vilnius where he grew up, he opened a shoemaker shop. He married a fellow Lithuanian immigrant, bought the house on Morris Street, and had three daughters, the eldest of whom was my mom.

The part of the city where he settled was traditionally a point of entry for immigrants. It was close to the docks where ships arrived from the Old World; those same docks provided jobs for laborers whose only skill was brute force. The first big flush of migrants to the city had been Irish, pried from their hearths in the 1840s by a potato blight that caused widespread starvation, killed a million people, and drove another two million to exit the Emerald Isle. The next was Italian, propelled by the “unification” of small city-states and the breakdown of the peninsula’s feudal system. Some seven million mostly Southern Italian peasants decamped for foreign parts.

The Morris Street house where the author’s mom grew up. Photograph by Michelle Gustafson

Since then, wave after wave of newcomers has inhabited the rowhouses of South Philly, on both the east and west sides of Broad Street — Southern blacks with the collapse of Reconstruction, Eastern European Jews starting in the 1880s, more Italians after World War II ended. Mexicans moved north under the 1942 bracero (“one who works using his arms”) program, and smaller tides of Cubans and Puerto Ricans and Vietnamese and Cambodians and Liberians landed here, too. South Philly was a place to gain a foothold, to begin anew, to build something from nothing for impoverished families from all over the world. Then your kids got the hell out.

That was what Mom did. She made her way to Girls’ High, which was then at 17th and Spring Garden, and after graduating went even further up Broad Street to Temple, where she met my dad. Together, they began a family and a series of successive moves away from South Philly, to Willow Grove and Glenside and finally bucolic Doylestown. They raised a solid middle-class clan of four kids and a dog on a third of an acre there.

Which is why, I think, the house on Naudain Street so unnerved Mom. When you’ve spent a lifetime trying to escape the past, it can’t be easy to realize that your child just cheerfully leaped back in.

That was the only time Mom ever visited me and Doug, who eventually became my husband. She died three months later. I’d like to think it wasn’t seeing the house.

•

The workingman’s homes that make up Philly’s rows were built in the mid-to-late 19th century, as the city underwent rapid industrialization. But there were rowhouses even before that; witness the city’s oldest block, Elfreth’s Alley. William Penn envisioned his city filled with gracious single homes set amid green lawns, but it didn’t take long for speculators to slice up the blocks he laid out and eke the most from them by erecting rowhomes. The city was built atop clay, which is what you make bricks from, which is why the rowhomes were brick.

I have the vaguest memories of the house on Morris Street; Poppy’s shoemaker shop and the penny-candy place next door made more of an impression on me. I know this, though: Mom’s parents, like so many new arrivals here, found the fact that they were allowed to own land amazing. Slaves from the South and serfs from the Baltic States and paesani from Italy had all fled societies in which “real estate” belonged to the master or czar or king. To buy for yourself even the postage-stamp property beneath a rowhouse was a marvelous thing.

Which is one reason newcomers stayed put. “People would move to South Philly because it was close to jobs on the waterfront or in the garment factories,” says Bryant Simon, a history professor at Temple. “Then they created a culture that reminded them of where they were from.” They opened butcher shops and bakeries, planted grapevines in tiny backyards, built churches and fraternal organizations. They dug in, deep.

A window near 8th and Tasker. Photograph by Michelle Gustafson

Southern Italian immigrants, notes Penn city planning and urban studies professor Domenic Vitiello, had a particular pattern of migration: “They settled in groups of people from the same town. You could identify them — this block from this village in Abruzzo, this block from this village in Calabria.” Mexican immigration, Vitiello adds, would later follow this same pattern.

My mom’s mom’s sister, Adeline, married an Italian my grandfather fondly called “Goombah Jimmy.” We only visited Adeline’s house, on Wolf Street near Broad, for the Mummers Parade and the occasional funeral, but it stood out because it was so unlike anything else in my bland suburban life. People drank, hard; everyone was loud; the women and the food — Italian sausages, kielbasa and pierogies — smelled wonderful; and in an upstairs bedroom there hung the biggest painting I had ever seen, a full-size reproduction of Botticelli’s The Birth of Venus, with all that bare-breasted flesh. Who could look away?

I went back to South Philly recently and checked out the house on Wolf Street. There were potted plants taking the sun beside the front stoop. Mom’s people were farmers at heart. She would have liked that.

I went to Morris Street, too, to see what was left of number 128. It looked good — the trim all freshly painted, a fancy ornamental door. There was a planter beside it, too. The houses on Mom’s row are tiny — under a thousand square feet, with two bedrooms and a single bath. Yet when she was a kid, her family took in a boarder to help with the bills, which wasn’t rare. A 1904 survey of the area from 8th Street to 9th Street between Carpenter and Christian showed that 41 of the 167 houses were occupied by three or more families. That’s a tight squeeze.

Bryant Simon says you can tell when a neighborhood gentrifies by the house numbers; newcomers prefer sans serif fonts. There’s a lot of sans serif on Mom’s block. Another clue: the four new three-story townhomes with garages and roof decks. They have three bedrooms and two and a half baths and, you can bet, one family apiece.

•

Mom’s old house sold for $43,000 in 1995; today, its estimated worth is $218,985. The big difference between people buying in South Philly these days and those from the old days is that the latest arrivals don’t land here with nothing. They bring along advanced degrees and SUVs and Mitchell Gold sofas and IRAs.

Back in 2011, Kate Mellina and her husband, Dave Christopher, moved from Asbury Park to Philadelphia, where Mellina had grown up: “In the Northeast — St. Timothy’s parish. But my dad was from South Philly. St. Monica’s. You forget how Philadelphia is defined by its parishes.” The couple, both artists, were looking for an area that was “up-and-coming,” Mellina says, and they bought a house in East Passyunk, overlooking the famed Singing Fountain. “It was not quite as developed then,” Mellina says, “but you could see it was on its way.”

Not long after they moved in, one of the couple’s friends happened on a vintage photo album at Lambertville’s Golden Nugget flea market and recognized some famous faces posing with the grinning strangers inside: Bob Hope, Tony Bennett, Johnny Mathis, Liberace. On the back of the album was the photographer’s studio address, on East Passyunk Avenue. “Our friend knew we’d moved in around there, so he gave it to us,” Mellina explains. “He said, “Here’s your housewarming present — find out who these people are!”

Naturally, Mellina says, she started by showing the album to her neighbor, “Frank from around the corner, who’s been here forever.”

“Oh, that’s Palumbo’s!” Frank said.

“We were like, ‘What’s Palumbo’s?’” Mellina had never heard of the now-defunct nightclub at 8th and Catharine that hosted everyone from Sinatra to Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr. back in the day. It started life as a boardinghouse for immigrants sailing from Italy; legend has it they’d arrive speaking no English but with signs around their necks that read PALUMBO’S.

Plenty of Palumbo’s stars were homegrown. South Philly’s rowhouses all looked alike on the outside, but they sheltered singular individuals inside. The roll call just of those who passed through South Philly High at Broad and Snyder is startling: Marian Anderson, Mario Lanza, Chubby Checker, Jack Klugman, Frankie Avalon, bandleader Lester Lanin, composer Vincent Persichetti, NBA founder Eddie Gottlieb, world heavyweight boxing champ Tim Witherspoon, mayor Frank Rizzo, boxing trainer Angelo Dundee … It’s hard not to feel optimistic in a neighborhood where just a few streets over, a Jewish punk named Eddie Fisher grew up to divorce Debbie Reynolds so he could marry Elizabeth Taylor. America. What a country.

“South Philly is a real neighborhood,” says Kate Mellina. “It’s a mix of people whose families have been here for three or four generations — in the same houses — and new people moving in with dogs and babies.”

Since the album was foisted on her, Mellina has visited senior centers and the local library in her quest to identify the non-famous people in its pages. She discovered that it had belonged to Arthur Tavani, a writer for a little local newspaper. “His sister was still alive then,” she recalls, “living in the same house they grew up in. She greeted me like a long-lost daughter.” Mellina also talked to Carmen Dee, who’d been the bandleader at Palumbo’s, which burned down in 1994. And she’s chronicled her efforts at a website, Unexpected Philadelphia, that lets you scroll through the photos in case there’s anyone you know.

“South Philly is a real neighborhood,” says Mellina. “It’s a mix of people whose families have been here for three or four generations — in the same houses — and new people moving in with dogs and babies. Everyone seems to get along. You take your lawn chairs out front in the summer, and people parade by with the kids and the dogs.” Asbury Park, she notes, actually was a small town — “but it didn’t have that small-town feel.”

The small town has gone big-time over the past decade. Townsend Wentz, Nick Elmi, Chris Kearse, Lou Boquila, Lynn Rinaldi, and Lee Styer and Jessie Prawlucki have all opened restaurants along this stretch of East Passyunk. The neighborhood has coffee shops, twinkly string lights, a British pie shop, and Artisan Boulanger Patissier. You’ll find dim sum and doggie boutiques, a retro typewriter repair shop, breweries and bike stores, not to mention a yoga studio that recently hosted a visit from an alpaca. It’s a freaking hipster paradise.

A block or so north, the paradise ends.

•

Philly’s Italian Market, which stretches along 9th Street roughly from Dickinson to Fitzwater, started out as a Jewish market. It’s now mostly Asians and Latinos who run the iconic sidewalk stalls. To go from twinkly Passyunk Square to, say, Giordano’s produce stand just above Washington is sort of a shock. The market hasn’t gentrified. It still has flies in summer and burn barrels in winter, and wooden skids and flattened cardboard boxes are piled everywhere. (“That’s not real trash,” Bryant Simon teases when I raise the subject of the market. “They bring it out every morning so it looks like a scene from Rocky.”) It also has guys who pick out your tomatoes for you, thank you very much, and put them in a bag. The area is a good example of the challenges of gentrification. “How do you maintain the market while the neighborhood changes?” asks Simon. “That’s a delicate balance. Tourists can only buy so many vegetables.” Anthony’s Italian Coffee & Chocolate House has stood here for four generations. Now it has online ordering, and seasonal lattes like the Spring Fling and the Crème Brûlée.

There have been fitful efforts to start up a Business Improvement District for the market, so merchants can kick in to gussy things up. A few years back, Michelle Gambino, business manager for the South 9th Street Business Association, described her vision for the future, with organic foods and craft booths alongside the homely produce carts: “We’re hoping that the look will continue to be Old World, but just upscale.”

To add to the balancing act, New York developers have so far unveiled three iterations of an apartment building planned for the heart of the market, right at 9th and Washington, ranging from six to eight stories in height. The latest version has 157 units. Merchants and shoppers panicked when plans showed the driveway to the building’s underground parking right on 9th Street, where it will surely disrupt the market’s traffic and pedestrians. So much for Old World.

“There are two processes going on in South Philly right now,” says Bryant Simon. “Longtime residents are being displaced by new immigrants and by high-end creative-class people.” In other words, old South Philly’s getting squeezed from both sides.

The Italian isn’t the only market in South Philly. The busy commercial stretch of Washington between 6th and 16th earned the soubriquet “Little Saigon” thanks to immigrants who settled there after the Vietnam War. (Condé Nast Traveler once dubbed the area “Pho Row.”) The city’s Asian population has continued to grow, jumping by 42 percent from 2000 to 2010; Philly is now home to the East Coast’s largest population of Vietnamese immigrants. At Horace Furness High, near Mom’s old house, 48.5 percent of the kids are Asian.

In Little Saigon, too, change is coming. Developers have proposed new rowhomes and duplexes, plus parking spots, on the site of the Hoa Binh shopping center, which occupies almost an entire block at Washington and 16th. The current shopping center isn’t pretty. But neither are most newly built rowhomes, when you think about it.

There may be no better example of South Philly’s metamorphosis than what used to be the Edward W. Bok Technical High School at 8th and Mifflin, where neighborhood kids not bound for college once studied tailoring and plumbing, hairdressing and bricklaying. After closing down in 2013, the Art Deco building, constructed in the 1930s by Franklin Roosevelt’s Public Works Administration, was reborn as BOK, an urban playground with a roof-deck bar, boutiques, “maker spaces,” tattoo artists and, of course, yoga. “I think BOK is a fascinating symbol,” says Bryant Simon. “There are two processes going on in South Philly right now. Longtime residents are being displaced by new immigrants and by high-end creative-class people who value urban spaces and are knowledge workers.” In other words, old South Philly’s getting squeezed from both sides.

•

We tend to think of “South Philly” as the Rocky world that’s east of Broad Street, but Point Breeze and Grays Ferry are South Philly, too. They were settled along familiar lines, first by European Jews, then by Italians and Irish, and finally by blacks driven west from their original stronghold in what had been farm country near 7th and South. There were race riots here in 1918, touched off when a black woman moved in; thousands battled in the streets. By the 1920s, according to a resident quoted in Murray Dubin’s South Philadelphia: Mummers, Memories, and the Melrose Diner, from Lombard Street to Washington Avenue between Broad and 20th was “solid black.” Still, racial strife bubbled up regularly. In 1997, then-mayor Ed Rendell had to negotiate a compromise with Louis Farrakhan to ward off a planned protest.

Today, Point Breeze is ground zero for Philly gentrification. The median housing price in the most gentrified section rose from $29,000 in 2000 to $234,000 in 2016, while the population of black residents changed from 80 percent to 46 percent. Bryant Simon, who wrote a book about Starbucks, says you can trace the spread of gentrification in coffee shops. He mentions developer Ori Feibush, who fueled Point Breeze’s gilding by opening OCF Coffee House at 20th and Federal “as a way of planting a flag. He was smart about that.”

Neighbors playing at 2nd and Porter. Photograph by Michelle Gustafson

For many residents of western South Philly, Feibush, who’s been building new townhouses everywhere, has become the face of black displacement. In 2015, he ran against incumbent 2nd District Councilmember Kenyatta Johnson in a bitter primary fight that stirred race into the already boiling pot of tax assessments and abatements and property values. Johnson won. In May, he introduced a bill that would ban from Grays Ferry and Point Breeze the balconies and bay windows featured on many newly constructed rowhomes — a pointed up-yours to Feibush and gentrification. The resentment is understandable.

Racism has a long history throughout South Philadelphia. “It would have helped if Frank Rizzo didn’t tolerate white resistance, or if there had been no redlining,” Simon says. Old photos of South Philly High show integrated sports teams as far back as 1918, and black and white cross-country runners in the ’50s with their arms draped around each other. But as recently as 2009, black students were beating up Asian immigrants. Following a boycott, a new principal, and a Justice Department investigation, matters have improved.

In fact, says Penn’s Vitiello, you could make the case that since the 1970s, South Philadelphia has been the city’s most successful neighborhood in terms of immigration: “A wide variety of refugees has found it comfortable and livable. There’s a wide variety of ethnic groceries, goods and services. The housing stock is still affordable. There are still plenty of absentee landlords who see new immigrants as an important source of income.” And many older residents, he says, “welcome newcomers in a very humane way. They appreciate that their neighbors are here just trying to raise their kids and provide for themselves.” It was former mayor John Street, he points out, who first established sanctuary protections in Philadelphia back in 2001, along with Irish-born police commissioner John Timoney.

“Change related to new immigrants is nothing new in South Philly,” Bryant Simon says. “It’s never been without tensions. Change is kind of perpetual there.”

To some extent, Vitiello says, politicians here have embraced immigrants because they know that without them, the city would be shrinking, not growing. He puts Michael Nutter in this economically motivated camp. But Jim Kenney, whose parents came to the U.S. from Ireland — and who grew up five blocks from my mom’s house, at 3rd and Snyder — “has consistently been more about treating people as humans, as neighbors,” he says.

At the same time, South Philadelphians, Bryant Simon points out, have always shown “a commitment to maintaining their turf.” Historically, this is the land of mobsters and payola, not touchy-feely empathy. “We make fun of yoga studios and deck bars serving IPAs,” Simon says, “and the identity that goes along with certain cultural practices.” But alpaca yoga isn’t South Philly’s big problem now: “The real tensions are over real estate values.”

On the positive side, he notes, “Change related to new immigrants is nothing new in South Philly. It was always a place of immigrants. It’s never been without tensions. Change is kind of perpetual there.”

•

I used to live in South Philly. In 1988, Doug and I bought a little rowhouse near 20th and Snyder for $35,000. We were ready to have kids and wanted some stability. We were an odd fit for the neighborhood back then. There was nobody our age on our block; old people lived there, and their kids drove in from Jersey for Sunday dinner. One entire wall of our bathroom was mirrored; it became our daughter’s favorite part of the house. Once, when I was taking the bus into Center City with Marcy when she was two, a nun asked what parish we belonged to. “We don’t go to church,” I told her. “Surely you’ve had her baptized,” she said. I shook my head. She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Do you want your daughter to go to Hell?”

Most people, though, were nice to us. Johnny from the auto shop across the street would invite us in for barbecued deer during fall hunting season. In winter, we pushed the kids in strollers beneath rainbows of Christmas lights. In summer, there were walks to the water-ice stand and cooling showers from fire-hydrant sprinklers. The mobster’s mom down the block wouldn’t let her grandson come to Marcy’s birthday party, but she did show up afterward with excuses and a gift.

After six years, we got tired of chasing guys with guns off our stoop, of worrying that the kids would get hit by cars, of the endless litter and the fight to find parking. I longed for a real garden, not a couple of barrel planters. We escaped to the suburbs, just in time for Marcy to start school. We sold the house for less than we’d paid for it, to two Cambodian brothers. We always have been terrible at real estate.

Today, the house we dumped for $32,500 is worth an estimated $195,954. I go back to see it, for old time’s sake. The neighborhood is still dotted with bodegas and pharmacies and Chinese takeout joints, but there’s a new coffee shop that delivers through Grubhub. Our place looks tidy and kempt; there are a host of potted plants beside the front door, which is painted deep blue. The house numbers are a bougie font. The young woman who lives there now walks dogs for a living. We exchange emails, and I ask if the bathroom still has that mirrored wall. She LOLs. It does.

In nearby Girard Park, I pick my way through downed tree branches from a recent storm to view a plaque honoring Kenyatta Johnson for nabbing $600,000 in improvements to its drainage, benches and walkways. Within eyeshot of the house where a pipe bomb blew up Phil “Chicken Man” Testa in 1981, I join a woman sitting on a park bench with a little girl in a stroller. I smile and tell her my daughter learned to walk right in this park. She smiles back. “I’m the nanny,” she says.

A nanny. In Girard Park. It’s the beginning of the end.

Not so fast, says Vitiello. “South Philly is pretty big,” he points out, “and gentrification moves in waves. There are some indicators that suggest South Philly will keep growing, and others that suggest its growth will be slow and halting.” That means South Philly’s seemingly impossible balance of old and new, rich and poor, black and white and everything else, could endure. Large tracts here, Vitiello insists, should remain affordable for a long time to come.

Maybe so. All I know is, there’s new three-story housing going up across 20th Street from our old place, no doubt with garages and roof decks.

Oh my God. It’s just like Morris Street.

Published as “True South” in the July 2019 issue of Philadelphia magazine.

Source: https://www.phillymag.com/news/2019/07/06/changing-south-philly/

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

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rmuldrake-blog · 7 years

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Twin Peaks Part 14 Coffee Time

Well here we are we are now 4 hours away from twin Peaks finishing “the return” story, the pile driver punches just keep coming.

So the episode kicks off with Cole calling the sheriffs department in Twin Peaks he is returning Frank Truman’s call, Truman is providing Cole information on the missing page of Laura’s diary. There a wonderful little scene between Lucy and Cole. I can only imagine was Lucy and Andy’s trip to Bora Bora would of been like.

We stay with Cole and the team for an explanation of the first Blue Rose case

Olympia, Washington, 1975

2 field agents investigate a murder in Olympia, Washington. (Cole and Jefferies)

They arrest Lois Duffy at a motel. They kick the door in after hearing a gunshot, there are 2 women inside. One on the floor dying the other holding the gun then drops it whe the agents entewr

The wounded women is Lois Duffy on the floor she speaks

“i’m like the blue rose” and then smiles then dies and disappears

The other woman is also Lois Duffy she doesnt have a Twin sister Albert comments.

While awaiting trail Lois Duffy swears she didn’t commit she hangs herself.

Tammy is asked what question should she ask she returns with

“whats the significance of the blue rose”

“blue rose does not occur in nature its not a natural thing, the dying woman was not natural, conjured, whats the word a tulpa”

Tulpa (Tibetan: སྤྲུལ་པ, Wylie: sprul-pa), nirmita (Sanskrit: निर्मित), or thoughtform, is a concept in mysticism of a being or object which is created through spiritual or mental powers. The term comes from Tibetan "emanation" or "manifestation".

“Good” Albert retorts.

This scene plays out very much like X files, so its probably why I liked it so much, The tulpa has also appeared in X file law in season 6′s Arcadia (the one where Mulder and Scully play house) and in season 10′s home again (the band aid man)

Cole enters the room with his thumbs up Coffee time

Diane is on her way but before that we get the window cleaner, Moving on quickly...

Then we get the bombshell, On the last night that Diane saw Cooper did he mention Briggs Cole asks, she doesn’t want to talk a bout that night, but Cole pushes her. She confirms that he did, Albert then spells out what has happened to Briggs and the ring that was found

The next part I was shouting at the screen over and over again in Doctor who fashion.

Diane’s half sister is Janey-E and is married to Douglas Jones everyone calls him Dougie. Shes estranged but last heard they were in Las Vegas.

So my initial thought straight away hit me, Cole Albert and Tammy have now asked about Vegas, Diane got that text basically asking as much, We don’t know which side of the fence she is sitting on but she did seem genuinely shocked when they asked about Janey-E could it be that things are starting to make sense to her now the pieces are falling in line?

Cole calls the Vegas office there are 23 Douglas Jones in the area, (why did they not mention Janey-E is anyones guess surely that would of narrowed the search a bit.)

“How are we going to find the right one”

“WILSON HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU THIS IS WHAT WE DO IN THE FBI”

Brilliantly funny my x file fandom also struck a chord albeit in a slightly different way.

““Thats why they put the I in the fbi” Xfiles pilot.

So were no more than 15 minutes in wow, so much stuff to mull over already,

After Diane leaves we get Cole bringing everyone up to date with the missing pages of Laura’s dairy, with the revelation of 2 coopers but after Cole’s first case I can see now why this may be more low key than I imagined it to be, A footnote in another Blue rose case. There are 2 coopers we now know what we are dealing with, but suspicions were probably already there this acts more of a confirmation to them,

Monica Bellucci dream, “Oh boy” Albert sighs and Tammy... well her look say’s it all.

So the dream:

Paris Cafe, the music is deliberately tense and suspenseful. Cooper was there but no face could be seen only his chin,

Monica was pleasant and had brought friends. While having a Coffee Monica quotes the phrase

“We are like the dreamer who dreams and then lives inside the dream, .... but who is the dreamer”

Monica looked beyond Cole while he was feeling VERY uneasy. As he looks back we see scenes from Fire walk with me.

Cooper says it 10:10 February 16th. Cooper was worried about the day because of his dream, Jefferies appears and points at Cooper asking

“who do you think that is there”

Cole and Albert both hadn’t remembered that. Its seems to be a running theme I am picking up on at the moment. more on that later.

I don’t want to theorise too much but dreams are a kin to the lodges, are we seeing a guiding force to the final act or a we seeing some very timey wimey stuff going on.

So back in Twin peaks the boys are getting ready to go into the woods, sandwiches are laid on the table and Andy is having just cheese, Reinforcing the fact that he is a simple standard guy very plain non corrupted. well thats the way I see it especially with what happens shortly,

They arrest Chad and I can pretty much imagine the whole fandom punching the air, screaming yes. I did. I can only assume that because they all were leaving for the mountain that they wanted him out the way now.

Up in the mountain I had a very uneasy feeling, we had the hum but we also had Andy at the back and a bit behind them in a couple of scenes while they are walking, it gave us milliseconds extra screen time but it did feel like something was about to happen.

The listening post is gone Bobby remembers lots of machines and then we arrive Bobby laughing on seeing Jack rabbits palace. One thing to note here

The pan up the trunk is VERY reminiscent of the purple place before we see the Giant/Fireman and the birth of the golden Laura Orb.

253 yard due east with soil in their pockets we find Naido, Andy comforts her a vortex appears and he ends up sitting across from what we now know is the fireman. Andy is basically shown the entire history of the twin peaks story the explosion, Convenience store, GOTTA LIGHT, Laura’s death, Coopers ganger and even some future events (Lucy being shown something by Andy it would be funny if this was only a self fulfilling prophecy and there is nothing to the scene whatsoever ) Also included is the post where the kid got killed and the number 6 I have a feeling this post has been in the show before i’m guessing fire walk with me but not sure.

I feel that Andy must of been picked as he like cooper is not corruptible he is pure, plain like the sandwich no additions just who he is.

We return to planet earth, Andy is as confident as we have EVER seen him, he now has a purpose and he will do everything he can to complete his destiny. Naido must be protected and no one must know where she is.

Truman and Hawk are struggling to remember what happened, its a running theme throughout then whole show with Cooper, Cole, Diane, People in the bar, anyone who may of been close too or in contact with the otherworldly beings or supernatural vortex's etc,

We get an Andy and Lucy scene in the cells, a dog got lost and Lucy must have stayed the night Andy remembers that night too, Please don’t tell me Wally was conceived there Ha Ha.

Chad gets a lecture from Andy and we get a really bizarre guy mimicking everything, With blood or some other substance coming from his mouth, its a genuine WTF moment. I need to know more.

We find ourselves at the Great northern with Freddie cracking nuts with his distinctive green glove and finding out its James birthday.

It appears James is after another married woman (sighs), Renee, could that be the girl who was at the bar when he was singing. Also I have had the thought that is this scene prior to our first bar scene, James doesn’t know who is on. Surely you would know if Lissie was on? No?

We then get the green glove Iron fist story, Where did he start bleeding? it must of been terrifying to the doctor We also hear a lot of what the fireman had said, he has never spoken so much (off screen obviously), Freddie says London Town, when was it last called London Town the Victorian ages?? The fireman tells him that he will possess:

“the power of an enormous pile driver” we get the Jobsworth story and the cockney slang (i’m not a fan) of snapping his Gregory, (Gregory Peck=Neck), There is also a red card metaphor just in case you didn’t realise he is English, The fireman tells him to go to Twin Peaks to for fill his destiny.

James heads down to the furness’s we get the same noise down hear from up above in Ben's offices and a door, The whole scene seems to call back to Bob we see him in an area very much like this one i think in Fire walk with me if memory serves me right.

SOOOOO we come to Sarah Palmer, I can only guess it leads on from her boxing scene, no more drink needs one goes to bar.

An obnoxious guy tries to hit on her, which turns out to be a HUGGE mistake, once Sarah takes off her face we get spikes clawing out of her face a hand which has a blackened spirit finger (as discussed on the plane by Cole to Tammy) and then a smile worthy of the cat from Alice in Wonderland, once the face is back on we get a devastating chomp on his neck. Is Sarah aware is she possessed or is she in complete control, does she have that creature in her from episode 8, is it as i have been educated recently Babylon from the box has it taken her over, Is it even Sarah soo many questions its left deliberately ambiguous. Her final remarks, “sure is a mystery huh” is just chilling.

So we are back at the bar another 2 random people talking about getting high, (Twin peaks seems to have a really big drug problem), Then we come to Billy, This girl is supposedly the last one to see him, she goes on to tell the story in the kitchen she thinks her uncle was there she is not sure, Billy jumped over a 6ft fence got into the kitchen blood coming from nose and mouth, he’s looking really strange, they don’t tell anyone? (did they remember it at the time my guess is it just left there mind as these things keep happening.) and we also find out that he has been having a relatioship with her mom TINA, The moment we get her name ominous music comes over. The girl looks down and then asks “and then he just ran out again” its almost as if the previous question didn’t happen like she forgot, its all links in thematically. She also now doesn’t know if her uncle was there, where as before she thought he was.

There are Probing questions here “have you seen Billy”

“ive heard you were the last person to see Billy”

“Whats your moms name”

All these questions feel deliberate the others are lighter in tone.

To me this probably was the most intriguing part of the whole episode. what an episiode it was.

Who is Billy? Is he having multiple affairs, Audrey, Tina etc, Who’s the dreamer, Is it Cooper, Is it Audrey in a COMA, Whats that thing in the CELL near Naido and Chad? Who’s after Naido is it the experiment? Whats happening with Sarah? Is she polar opposite to Laura now? Is the fireman creating a force to protect the white lodge? There is a plan in place it seems.

We have a lot to get through in 4 hours, and its going to be glorious.

#twinpeaks audreyhorne jameshurley billy part14 cole cooper

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