#GET READY FOLKS ITS GONNA BE G O O D

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT FOLKS, SINCE I’M INSANE MY REACTION WILL BE SPLIT INTO FOUR PARTS FOR READING CONVENIENCE FOR Y’ALL BUT I AM GONNA WATCH IT IN ONE SITTING I AM FULL OF FEAR BUT LETS GET STARTED

PT 1 OF THIS NONENSE “THE EMPERORS WRATH”  THAT IS INSTANTLY CONCERNING

OH WAIT THAT’S THE NAME OF THE FULL SPECIAL THIS IS “A LIFETIME OF MISTAKES” I’M BEING KILLED

OKAY LETS SEE WHAT THESE LUNATICS ARE UP TO

MONKIE KID THEME SONG MY BELOVED

OH I’M EXCITED

FEAR 

OMINOUS MUSIC AND REALITY ITSELF SEEMING TO BE TEARING APART AS AZURE TRIES TO STITCH IT BACK TOGETHER? HORRIFYING

HE LOOKS LIKE HE’S HAVING SOME TROUBLE THERE

YELLOW-TUSK LOOKING TIRED AND CONCERNED

WHAT ARE YOU DOING OLD MAN

I confess I did watch the first like ten seconds yesterday which was funny cause Yellow-tusk showed up and my brain completely ignored Azure to go “ A GRANDPA :D” 

SCREAMS

ITS THE CREW

MY BELOVEDS

I WANNA KNOW WHAT YELLOW-TUSK THINKS OF ALL THIS

AND IF AZURE’S REMAINING BROS ARE GONNA TRUN ON HIM

“AT LEAST ITS PRETY” MEI ILY

“yeah if ya ignore the strong end of the world vibes” Pigsy,  you ave my entire soul, i love you I LOVE TIHS MAN

THE PIG MAN IS RIGHT

I love how like, killing the Jade emperor apparently means you get to take his place, like dang alright, the Santa Clause movies vibes, all you gotta do is push Azure off a roof-

and exactly no one will understand that reference but i swear i’m funny guys i promise-

Azure @ the Jade Emperor: ALL YOU DO IS SIT AROUND ALL DAY AND MOOCH OFF OTHER PEOPLES SUFFERING Azure, after sitting in the Jade Emperors seat: oh shoot hol up this is so much harder than i thought I’d be breathing is hard-

That’s hilariousGH;LASF

NEZHAAAAA BLESS FOR BANDAGING THIS DUDE UP HE NEEDED THAT HE’S NOT DOING SO HOT BUT GODSPEED YOU REALLY FOUGHT FOR THIS STUFF YOUNG MAN

MONK

I LOVE HOW EVERYONE IS CALLING TANG MONK THIS SEASON DESPITE THE FACT HE’S NOT REALLY ACTUALLY A MONK RN HGL;F;JAOWIEFJSDF (or is he...?)

wait  wait

before they turn around he’s asking about the scroll

are they like, putting bandaids and bandages on the scroll pls it’d be so funny-

YUP

YUP AWFUL TAPE JOB

WELL DONE

ILY TANG

THERE AINT’ NOTHING A BIT OF TAPE CAN’T FIX (they can’t say duct tape for legal reasons- /j /j /j)

NEZA UDNERSTANDABLY OUTRAGEDHGL;SDKFJ

NEZHA FEELS LIKE HE’S THE ONE GUY WITH A BRAINCELL HERE AND HE’S RIGHT

MK

I MISSED YOU SM

LOOK HOW FLOOFY HIS HAIR IS

BLESS YOU MONKIE KID ARTISTS

MEI

WHEEZINGNS;DLFMSDF

MK PAYING V CLOSE ATTENTION TO WHAT SHE’S SAYING BUT NO IDEA WHAT SHE’S TALKING ABOUT

SHE CAN’T EVEN FINISH THE SENTENCE PLS HGLSDJFD

HER FACE

WHOEVER DREW THAT EXPRESSION I’M SHAKING YOUR HAND

I

I’M

I’M WORRIED NOW

HECK I’M WORRIED NOW

ITS MONKEY KING HE’S FINE THAT GUY IS INDESTRUCTABLE

IS HE THO??????

I SURE HOPE HE IS BUT THE MUSIC THAT WAS PLAYING ALONGSIDE WHEN HE SAID THAT MAKES ME SO SO VERY CONCERNED

WOW I’M WATCHING THE SPECIAL THAT JUST HIT ME

HOLY CRAP THE SPECIAL IS OUT

HOLY CRAP I HAVE IT

OH MY GODS I’M INSANE

this season is my fave for how they draw these guys they are just so shaped and so wonderful

MAGICAL TAPE

HELPGLSKMFSD

NEXHA LOOKS READY TO FIGHTOHHMYGODS MACAQUE

RIGHT

HE’S HERE

OH HE’S STILL HERE LETS FREAKING GO

I DONT’ KNOW WHY I WASN’T EXPECTING HIM TO BE THERE MY YOUNGER BROTHER IS GONNA BE SO EXCITED HE LOVES MACAQUE I CAN’T WAIT TO TELL HIM HE’S MAKING AN APPERANCE THIS SPECIAL  LETS GOOOOO

MACAQUE’S FACE

IS SO PUNCHABLE

WHATCHA THINKING ABOUT THERE MONKEY

ABANDONMENT?

its nice he doesn’t come out and tell Mk he’s wrong tho y’know? THAT’S WHAT WE CALL   G R O W T H !

NEZHA IN

SCREAMS

MACAQUES COMING??? FR??

OH MY BROS GONNA LOSE HIS MIND WE GET MACAQUE

.

I can’t believe Macaque is actually making sense, who are you and what have you done with the monkey- /j /j /j JOKING

HE MAKES A GOOD POINT! I LOVE HOW HE BELIEVES HE’S ENOUGH TO POSSIBLY TRIGGER WUKONG’S MEMORY LOVE THAT

Ngl it’d be super funny if like, macaque being there didn’t help at all it’d be so funny, but i’m rooting for it does help but also if Wukong has to like, relive a bunch of stuff in order to remember OH BOY LETS SEE HOW THIS GOES

HELPGN;LKMSD

MOOD

I’M MK

THO MAC BOI I DON’T KNOW IF YOU’RE MUCH BETTER BUT WE’LL SEE

BIASED PERSPECTIVE CAN WARP EVENTS THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED QUITE A BIT AS TIME PASSES SO GL WITH THAT I’M VERY INTERESTED TO SEE IF HE REMEMBERS THINGS RIGHT OR IF WUKONG REMEMBERS THEM RIGHT OR IF WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IS LOST TO TIME  WE’LL SEE HOW THIS GOES

“Your criticism is harsh but fair, ALRIGHT-“ MACAQUE’S FACE IN THAT SHOT PLEASE WHO DREW HIM THERE I’M CRYINGL;SDMKFDS

LEGOOO THEY’RE USING THAT SO MUCH THIS SEASON I NEED TO MAKE A COMPILATION MY GODS

Tang’s got some confidence with his powers now that’s great!!

So…

Wait is it just Mk and Macaque?

HOL UP IS IT JUST THEM GOING??

OH MAN

OPH MAN WAIT

OH MAN WAIT THIS IS FIRE ITS MK AND MACAQUE

WHAT A CHOICE

OKAY

OKAY YEAH

HERE WE GO

CANT’ TAKE TANG HE’S GOTTA BE THERE TO GET THEM OUT OF IT

OHHH I’M SO NORMAL

OHJ MY GODS THEY’RE GONNA RESCUE WUKONG I’M GONNA CRY

hello transitions for AMV’s <3

SNORTS

“wuuukoong, what have you done-“ WDYM HE’S TRAPPED IN A SCROLL CHILLAX BRO

o

oh ;-;

t

tearing his way through-

HOL UP IS THAT GONNA HAVE DETRIMENTAL EFFECTS ON HIS MEMORY???

IS HE TEARING THROUGH HIS OWN MIND TO TTRY AND GET BACK TO MK??

SCREAMS??

OH THIS SPECIAL IS GONNA WRECK ME I’M NOT READY

Also, one again, Macaque voice actor, nothing but respect, he’s doing really well

You have got to be kidding me i’m only two minutes in I feel like this has been a whole episode already I am not mentally well HG.,SDJFSKLDF

HELPGNSDFNA;OWEMF

THE DRAMATIC

ATTEMPT AT TAKING OFF AND JUST

OOP THERE HE IS! :D

RIP MACAQUE WHEEZINGSKLMF

Actually Macaque hanging with Mk and the team and being subject to the slapstick that hits the heroes is so freaking funny, welcome to being a hero-warrior macaque, you are now the butt of the joke- HGL;KSADJF;JWEF

I will cry right hecking now

IS A MONKEYYYYY

MK’S BIG SMILE PLS

SOBS LOUDLY

HELPGJSJKF

THAT’S JUST A MEMORY

HE’S JUST A SILLY LI’LL MONKEY

IM WILL CRY RIGHT NOW

RIGHT NOW YOU’LL SEE ME SOB

HELPGN;DFM

I REALLY WISHED THEY’D USED MAGIC TAPE THAT’S SO SILLY

CHOKES

“I’ll know the real wukong when we find him” OH YEAH MACAQUE? WILL YOU? KNOW HIM THAT WELL DO YOU?? Again what an interesting choice to make them so close

very funny Macaque, you look like you smell worse I’M JOKING I’M JOKING- HGKL;SADJF;AWHEFM

i GASPED

I ACTUALLY GASPED

FIRST PROCESSING HOW EXICTED WUKONG WAS TO SEE HIS MONKEYS AND THEN

BAM

MONKEY SO EXCITED TO SEE WUKONG ONL FOR HIM TO DISSAPEAR

ITS

HECK ITS ONE OF THE MONKEYS I’M GONNA CRY

CHOKES

HELPGNSLFMSD

MACAQUE’S FACE

I’M GONNA CRY AGAIN HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MONKEY SO EXCITED TO SEE SOMEBODY

MONKEY KNOWS AND LIKES MACAQUE THAT’S SO SILLY

MAN

YUP

WELCOME TO SLAPSTICK MACAQUE

I’M SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS

MK’S ARM SUDDENLY TEN FEET LONG I’M DYINGNSDL;KMSD

YEAAAHHH RIGHT INTO THE SMASH

HELPNMSLDKMSDF

MACAQUE TRYING TO BE FUNNY

ABSOLUTELY DEADPAN THIS WHOLE TIME

I’M SO INTERESTED IN HOW THIS’LL TURN OUT HECK

Wow thanks for catching him Macaque- HGL;KZSJFL;ASF

…looks at who drew the jump through the cracked yellow light

ily

aNOTHER MONKEY

PROBABLY EXCTIED TO SEE MACAQUE TOO

BARRELS WORTH

HELPGKLMSD;OFEWF

.heck

that

that hurts for some reason heck

“dont you like it :D?”

OH BOY

HE’S SO CUTE

YEAH

REALLY GOTTA READ THE BOOK

I LOVE HOW MUCH THEY’RE SAYING THIS HELP

(Crew’s not so subtle wink wink nudge nudge at the fandom READ THE BOOK (joking joking)) (but no seriously read the book its a banger)

ITS MACAQUE

MAN THE ALMOST SHRILL SOUNDING MONKEY KING

MACAAAQUE! DOIN OKAY BUD? :D

MK MAKING FUN OF HIM HELPGMLSDFLKM

THE MONKEYS HELPGNSDF;AFE

MONKEY KING PLEASEJGLDF

THIS IS KILLLING ME Y’ALL

HE’S SO

HYPER

I LOVE HIM

NOOHOHOOOO maybe a little

THE CREW REALLY HAD A  BLAST ANIMATING THE SILLY LITTLE GUY

heck dude “thats not the point! its so we can never worry about anything or anyone every again!!”

THEY’RE SO SILLY

THEY WERE SO SILLY

.

yeah that’s fair

Okayyyy

OKAYYYYYY

NOT BAD

STILL MACAQUE’S OPINION THO WHICH I DON’T FULLY TRUST STILL

ITS SO HAAARDDDD

CAUSE MACAQUE LIKES TO SAY EXACTLY WHAT WUKONG WAS THINKING IN FEELING BUT HE DOESNT’ ACTUALLY KNOW SO HE MAKES HIM OUT TO BE THIS HYPER AWARE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTS LEAVES HIS FRIENDS BEHIND GUY, WHILE AZURE MAKES HIM OUT TO BE THIS LITTLE GUY WHO’S COOL AND WOULD MAKE A GREAT LEADER BUT DOESN’T KNOW WHAT HE WNATS OR WHAT HE’S DOING AND NEEDS GUIDENCE SO WHICH IS THE REAL MONKEY KING HUH? MY BET IS NEITHER OF THEM REALLY KNOW

Rn tho I’m definitely leaning towards what Macaque’s describing because ITS NOT INFANTILIZING HIM SO I’LL TAKE IT

HOLYU CRAP IS THAT HTE MOUNTAIN

HOLY CRAP IS THAT THE MOUNTAIN

THEY SHOWED THE MOUNTAIN?/???

THEY’RE SHOWING THE MOUNTAIN???

HOLY CRAP??

MACAQUE CAME  TO VISIT HIM IN THE MOUNTAIN???

HOLY CRAP???

Small beef here, but the whole point of Wukong’s punishment was so that he could see the world move on without him like, the worst case of FOMO (fear of missing out) you ever done experienced, watching stars die and new ones be born and landscapes change and people pass and not being able to be a part of that. Being totally underground kinda defeats the purpose of that bUT THAT’S SUCH A NITPICK FOR ME TO MAKE BUT I ALWAYS DO WHENEVER THERE’S A VERSION WHERE HE CAN’T SEE THE SKY OR TIME PASSING- DANG WHATS WITH THE CHAINS I’MGBSDLFKMD

man its how angry

HOLY

WOW

HE’S SO BITTER

THIS IS AMAZING

THIS

YES

OKAY

YES, WUKONG BEING THIS BITTER? YES ABSOLUTELY, HE’S IN TIME OUT AND HE’S ANGRY  ABOUT IT

AND OFC YOU TAKE IT OUT ON THE ONE PERSON WHO ACTUALLY COMES AND CHECKS ON YOU BECAUSE THEY’RE THE ONLY PERSON NEAR YOU THAT YOU CAN BLAME [BANGS FISTS ON TABLE] M A N

OKAY NOT BAD

WE VIBIN

HOLY

THAT WAS SUCH A SATISFYING EXCHANGE TO SEE ACTUALLY

OKAY FINALLY WE’RE GETTING UNBIASED NARRATION I’M GONNA CRY

OH MY GODS THIS IS SUCH A RELIEF I’M SCREAMIGNFL;KMSF

THIS SHOW IS REALLY DRAGGING ME AROUND LIKE A CHEW TOY I SWEAR

ONLY THING I WOULD HAVE ADDED WAS JUST

WUKONG DOING LIKE, A SCREAM AFTER HE LEFT Y’KNOW?

JUST REALLY LETTING OUT THAT ANGER AND BITTERNESS AND DESPERATION YEAH WOULD HAVE LOVED THAT

HECK

MAN WHAT’S WITH YOU MACAQUE

ITS SO FUNNY

BELIEVED AS IN PAST TENSE

OH FINALLY

FINALLY

OKAY MK FINALLY HAS SOMEONE WHO’S NOT TRYING TO PUSH THEIR VIEW OF WUKONG ON HIM SURE ITS SOMEONE WHO’S DONE IT LOTS IN THE PAST BUT HECK I’M ACTUALLY OKAY WITH THE FACT ITS MACAQUE Y’KNOW??

ALRIGHT FOR NOT VILLIANIZING WUKONG SO MUCH LETS GOOOOOO

I am so basic my gosh hGLK;SAJDF

Macaque’s suddenly got such quiet open narration here its heck

WOW THAT

THAT’S QUITE THE POWER THEY GAVE THE TANG MONK IN THIS

OH

OH THEY JUST HAD HIM SLAP IT RIGHT ON BEFORE HE’D EVEN GOTTEN A CHANCE TO ZOOM AROUND

.

Tbf it did look like he was lunging for the monk- HGKLSDJFJ

OH WWO THERE’S A SCREAM

YEAH OKA Y

HOLY CRAP DUDE

WELMCOME TO MONKEY KING LETS GO

MAKING THOSE GOOD LIFE CHOICES

A

ARE WE

FINALLY

GETTING

THE FOR REALSIES BACKSTORY LETS GO MK IS ALL OF US FOR FOUR SEASONS SCREAAAMS

Okay heck i gotta process some of that, path of self destruction we all were that’s great, the monkeys all there jsut as curious as mk, the shots of the jttw crew vibin, Wukong looking more and more carefree as they go AO LIE IS STILL JUST LOOKING AT WUKONG Y’ALL I THINK THAT DRAGON BRO IS ALWAYS WORRIED ABOUT HIM AND I STILL DESPERATELY WANT TO WRITE SOMETHING FOR THEM THEY’RE SO GOOD

“Every choice has consequences kid, for someone” MANS IS JUST ANGSTING OVER EVERYTHING HE CAN WE LOVE TO SEE IT

its so funny cause its like YAY GOOD STUFF!! o-orrr noooott noooooo WHEEZINGLSDFMS

THIS IS GREAT I’M ACTUALLY ENJOYUING THIS SO MUCH

HELPGMLSFMSD

MK IS US FR

MACQQUE JUST WALKING OFF

HM

CAMEL RIDGE

WE BACK

NICE

NOW WE GOT THE

OHHHH

OKAY

WE’RE USING MACAQUE AS THE

GUY FROM THE SIDELINES SEEING THE CONSEQUENCES OF EVERYONE’S ACTIONS WHILE ALL THEY SEE IS THE GOOD HE SEES THE EFFECT AROUND IT NICE NICE INTERESTING APPROACH OKAY COOL YES NICE

NICE

OH WE SAW

WE SAW HIM FOR A SEC

HANG ON GOING BACK

HECK

WHAT IS THAT THE JADE EMPEROR OVER HIM??

HECKING

HOLDING HIS HEADL IKE THAT SCREAMS THE MONKEY THE MONEKYT HE MONKEYGDFMSJ;BHGA;OIWEFB;EF

THE SNIFF

HELPGNSDLKMFSD

JUST MAKIGN SURE HE’S REAL

I WAS GONNA PROCESS MORE AZURE AND CHAT A LITTLE BIT ABOUT HOW HE’S EVEN CONVINCED HIMSELF LINE BUT HECK IT ITS’ MONKEY TIME SHUSH

AAA ITS HIM ITS HIM WHAT IS HE DOIN GIS HE JUST SITTING THERE IS HE OKAY I’MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

LOOKS LIKE HE’S RELIVING MEMORIES IN FLASHES

OH HE LOOKS SO TIRED

I’M GONNA CRY RIGHT NOW

HELPGMNSDLMF

SORRY THE FLASH BETWEEN HIM AND MK IS JUST SOME GUYS RIPPED PECS I’M WHEEZINGNSDLKF;MWOEF

.

actually that hair- I think that might be azure’s ripped pecs- \DOESN’T MATTTER MOVING ON

HE SOUNDS SO TIRED

MACAQUE STANDING THERE WITH THE MONKEYS, WUKONGS MONKEYS, MACAQUE WITH WUKONGS MONKEYS IN THAT AREA ALL STANDING THERE WATCHING

HECK HE SOUNDS SO TIRED AND BROKEN?? VOICE ACTING?? HELLO???

HOLY CRAP DUDE

THE LITTLE GUY APPEARING IN FRONT OF MACAQUE

AND MACAQUE REACHING FOR

HECK DUDE

HE MISSES HIS FRIEND SO MUCH HUH

HE REALLY

SEEMS TO ACHE FOR THOSE TIMES WOW

NO LONGER EXIST THO

THAT SIGH

WUKONG

WHAT IS THIS

WHO DREW THESE SQUISHY GUYS

Wukong, having a moment where he’s so so tired of messing up

Mk, absolute ball of nothing but sunshine and good vibes: GOOD THING YOUR’E IMMORTAN THEN HUH :D LESSGOOOO

I DON’T THINK HE REALIZED MACAQUE WAS ACTUALLY THERE TILL HE CAME AND STOOD BEHIND MK

HECKING

WE JUST NEED TO LEAVE THINGS A LITTLE BETTER THAN WE FOUND THEM YEAH

WORDS I LIVE BY GENUINELY

MK’S FACE

WHEN HE SAYS HE’S NOT READY TO NOT HAVE A MENTOR

SOBS LOUDLY

STAFF BACK

SOBS THE

I’M SORRY I SCREAMED

THE LOOK AT MK

AND THEN THE LOOK AT MACAQUE

BECAUSE HERE’S SOMEONE WHO HAS FAITH IN HIM FOR THE FUTURE AND SOMEONE FROM HIS PRESENT WHO BELIEVES IN HIM AND WANTS HIM THERE, AND THEN THERE’S SOMEONE FROM HIS PAST AND HECK DUDE IF ANYONE REALLY KNOWS HE CAN DO BETTER IT’D BE SOMEONE FROM THEN RIGHT? SOMEONE WHO’S SEEN EVERY MESS UP HE’S EVER DONE BUT STILL CAME?? EVEN AFTER TRYING TO KILL HIM?? KILL EACH OTHER?? SURE?? AND THE

HECK THE SMILE???

THE

HECK IT WAS LIKE HE WAS JUST LOOKING FOR SOEM KIND OF REASSURANCE AND DESPITE RELIVING A LOT OF HIS OWN TRUAMA AND HURT MACAQUE STILL PUSHES THAT ASIDE JUST A BIT SO HE CAN GIVE HIM A SMILE CAUSE HEY, THEY ARENT’ PERFECT OR EVEN IN A GOOD SPOT, BUT ITS BETTER THAN BEFORE AND HE KNOWS HE NEEDS THAT LITTLE EXTRA SUPPOT AND REASSURENCE I DON’T KNOW MAN I’M JUST YELLING WORDS RN I’M HAVING A MOMENT

THE SMILE BACK

HE’S BACK BABBYYYYYYYYYYY

THE BREATH

OKAY

WE FINE WE FINE WE FINE I’M FINE I’M GONNA CRY OH MY GODS WHAT AN EPISODE THAT WAS EVERYHTING I WANTED OKAY I’M SO GLAD HECKINGSDFL;AWOF STILL NITPICKING TINY THINGS BUT ALL TOGETHER THAT WAS GORGEOUS

I’M STILL LIKE, HAVING MACAQUE AS BEING SO CLOSE TO MONKEY KING IS STILL KINDA NEW FOR ME EVEN THO ITS BEEN YEARS BTU THIS IS STILL THE ONLY VERSION IV’E SEEN WHERE MAC PLAYS SUCH A BIG ROLE, BTU THEY HANDLED IT PRETTY WELL THE HIM SHOWING UP UNDER THE MOUNTAIN TO BRING HIM FRUIT AND WUKONG JUST ABSOLUTELY HECK DUDE THAT WAS

THAT WAS AWESOME

NICELY DONE

MAN

I just spent like half an hour talking about this ep to two different sibs and hecking i’m insane MY ENTIRE SOUL IS DEVESTATED, THE VOICE ACTING IN THIS EPISODE IS INSANE

MAN OKAY INTERESTING THAT THEY LIKE

PUT AZURE IN THERE KAY CAUSE

ITS BASICALLY BIG OLDER DUDE SAW YOUNGER DUDE THAT PEOPLE LIKED AND WHO’S FAMILY WAS DEDICATED TO THEM BECASUE THEY WERE STRONG AND A PROTECTOR AND WANTED MORE THAN ANYTHING TO PROTECT THEIR FAMILY AND AZURE SAW THAT AND WENT “i can use this” AND PUSHED HIM INTO SOME STUFF WHICH IS INTERESTING BUT WORKS SO WELL WITH THE DIRECTION THEY CHOSE TO TAKE THIS I’M INSANE

OKAYOKAY I GOTTA GET WATCHING THE OTHER EPS IF I WANNA FINISH THIS ALL TODAY WISH ME LUCK THIS EPISODE WILL BRAINROT ME FOREVER

KNOX OUT

[ask-joeydrewstudios]

Henry's Unfortunate Ink-antation [Part One]

[submitted by: @the-elusive-blue-skittle]

Sigh… The animation is WELL overdue AGAIN. Henry sits at his desk, with a chewed-up pencil resting between his teeth like a cigar- not that he’d know how to smoke one. That’s Sammy’s thing.

“Ugh, this is all wrong… How did the pose get so stiff,” the man asks himself, slumping over in his chair. “It’s been a hard week, and it’s only Tuesday…”

He tugs at the tie tucked beneath his sweater. Why can’t he seem to get his hands to work today? Perhaps he just hasn’t had enough coffee…

Meanwhile, the toons are chasing each other around the studio. Bendy, who’s filled a plastic bucket with ink from the Machine, is running as fast as his little inky legs can take him.

“Bendy! You put that bucket down right this instant,” Alice yells, holding her halo over her head with one arm, the other desperately grasping for Bendy’s tail.

“Fat chance, sweetcheeks! I never get ta pull pranks ‘round here,” the demon replies, kicking up his speed as ink sloshes in every which direction. The bucket doesn’t seem to get any emptier.

A wide grin creeps its way onto Bendy’s face as he spots a certain someone’s wide-open office door.

Henry’s office.

The man rakes his fingers through his soft brown hair, smiling as he finally gets the details right on his drawing. He’s getting somewhere at last.

“There we go… Much better.”

…

“SURPRISE, HENRY!”

“BENDY, NO-”

S P L A S H.

… Ink is EVERYWHERE. Henry blinks a couple times as the liquid dribbles down his entire body. He grimaces and tries to wipe the ink away from his eyes and mouth, but to no avail. It’s as if the ink replaces his entire form en masse. Henry coughs a wet cough and stands up, leaning against his desk.

’… Huh. Well, that’s a little funny. The desk looks a little higher up than it was when I sat down. Maybe it’s just the fumes getting to my head…’

At least, that’s what Henry THINKS before his body seems to hiccup, sending him another inch closer to the ground. That CAN’T be right. The shrinking seems to speed up as the man’s sight seems to get blurrier and blurrier, though quickly fixing itself as his field of vision converts to full color-blindness. The poor sap, now lacking nine inches in height, unwittingly gets simpler under all that ink. His hands shift and shape into chubbier, more exaggerated versions of themselves, with four fingers on each now-gloved hand. The changes travel up his arms, which get thinner and more versatile as they lose definition, becoming simple curved lines, free to wiggle, contort, and stretch as needed. Henry’s inky frame gets chubbier as the ink soaks in to over-exaggerate the facade his sweater gives off, making the man look weightier than he really is. His legs go through similar changes to his arms, getting thinner and stretchier, though his feet get larger to make the ‘character’ look more grounded, and less likely to topple over.

On Henry’s face, his features get simpler. All constructs of his eyes dissipate, except for the ‘pie-style’ eyes they’re replaced with. The man’s eyebrows reduce to simple lines as they gain the freedom to even surpass the top of his head to convey more dramatized expressions. His neck slimming, Henry’s vocal cords regress, making the changing man’s voice much more high-pitched, though not in a boyish or unflattering way. The fluffy, brown hair doesn’t change, much to the dazed man’s relief, though soon enough, all the color seems to leak out from the bottom of his form, and therefore, with the rest of the thick ink that would soon soak through the floorboards and leave Henry as… A toon.

He’s a toon.

“Gosh…” Henry slaps his hands over his mouth. What did he say? “What happened to my voice?! Did you hear me say that just now?!”

This is when he starts to panic, though in a cartoonish, goofy way. ‘Sweat drops’ fly from his forehead as his noodly legs wobble underneath him. He chews at the tips of his gloves like they’re his usual fingernails. “H-How much of that stuff did you even get on me, Bendy?”

“Uhh… I got a bucket full 'f ink from the Ink Machine?”

“YOU WHAT?!”

“Uh.. Eheheh… Whoops,” Bendy grins a big, nervous grin, placing his hands behind his back and backing away cautiously. “But ya know what? It’s gonna wear off in a few days! No need to worry at all!”

Henry glares with a menacing scowl, stomping the floor and groaning in frustration. “I have a wife waiting for me, Bendy! She’s gonna be looking all over for me, for pete’s sake!”

“Well, gee, Henry, I’m sorry,” Bendy sighs, kicking the floor in a meek manner as he shoves his gloved hands in nonexistent pockets, head hung low. And what a way to make Henry feel guilty, for as soon as Bendy apologizes for the horrible prank, the man-turned-toon’s expression softens. Henry inspects his body to the best of his ability, seeming somewhat shocked at the remaining joints in his arms. Clenching and unclenching his fists, the former human looks up from the floor to Bendy.

“… You know what? This can’t get any worse, I guess!” Henry exclaims with a sudden determined expression, pounding a fist into an open hand. “It shouldn’t take too long to wear off, right?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been an hour. Henry ALREADY can’t stand the sudden change, feeling very uncomfortable at the loss in height and mass. He finds himself a lot more prone to tripping and comedically falling on his face on every loose nail or floorboard. Tired of this nonsense, the new toon pouts and plops down in the middle of the floor, resting his head in a four-fingered hand.

… To which someone obliviously trips over him and lands with a light 'thud’ nearby.

“Gosh, are you okay?” GOD, he still hates that. The person that unfortunately didn’t see the tiny toon sits up and rubs his forehead, turning around to locate the source of Henry’s voice. Uh-oh.

It’s Joey.

“Pfft-” Joey starts to snicker before Henry would hastily shove a finger over his boss’s mouth. “Don’t. Laugh.”

“He-Henry, you- heheh.. You’re-”

“Choose your words CAREFULLY.”

Joey breaks down wheezing and giggling (like an idiot) as Henry reacts by turning a darker shade of grey, presumably getting red in the face from embarrassment. Joey wipes the tears from his eyes, catching his breath. “Y-You’re so… So CUTE…”

Leave it to Joey to find any and every way to push every button Henry has. The toon balls his fists and stomps angrily, like a toddler having a temper tantrum. And really? He’s not too far off from being just that.

“I am NOT cute, Joey,” Henry yells in his new, expressive voice. This prompts Joey to pinch the toon’s cheek, stretching it far past any human’s elasticity capacity.

“Ohhhh, yes you aaaare,” Joey teases with a big grin on his face. “How did this even HAPPEN?”

“Take a wild guess. And let go of me!”

Joey lets go of Henry’s cheek and gets up off the floor. “Let me guess. Is it something to do with the little devil himself?”

“Yeah, and when this is over, I’m getting rid of ALL the buckets in the studio,” Henry whines, crossing his arms and turning his back to his boss. “No exceptions! I don't WANT to be stuck like this forever!” The toon’s lip quivers as he’s thrown into a full-fledged, cartoony crying fit. He hardly seems to notice the shift in emotional expression, going from a stoic, no-funny-business animator to, well…

A goofy little dork.

Henry wails as literal waterfalls of tears flow from the corners of his eyes, water pooling on the floor at his sides. If someone doesn’t stop him, the entire room’s going to fill up!

Joey pinches the bridge of his nose. He ALREADY has to deal with THREE over-emotional toons! “Henry, you're NOT going to be stuck like this forever. But you WILL be stuck like this for at least a week.”

“A WEEK?!” Henry gasps, hands placed on each cheek. “I’M GONNA BE TRAPPED HERE FOR A WEEK? Ohhhhhh, this is UNBELIEVABLE…”

Joey rests a hand on the tiny toon’s shoulder, handing over a handkerchief so Henry can wipe his tears. Henry takes the cloth, sniffling pitifully as he blows his nose, prompting the sound of a trumpet blaring.  “What am I gonna do this whole time? I can’t animate like this!” The toon produces a pencil from behind his ear and holds it out. The pencil itself droops weakly as a spontaneous sad-trombone noise plays out of nowhere. He tosses the utensil behind him, proceeding to hit a nonexistent cat, a loud 'REEEEOW’ ringing out, followed by a CRASH.

Henry pulls, with stretchy arms, a fainting couch from what could only be called 'off-screen’. He rests a hand against his forehead as he crumbles onto the sofa with a weary expression. Joey rolls his eyes. It’s not like he can just tell Henry to stop being so dramatic.

“Now, Henry, there’s no need to… Fret,” Joey rubs the back of his head, somewhat bothered by the loss of his favorite handkerchief. “I don’t usually do this, but just this once, I’ll let you have a break for however long this lasts. How does that sound?”

Henry sits up in excitement. “Really? You'd do that? For me?”

“Well, I can’t imagine that it’d be very easy to draw with four fingers on each hand, and…”

Suddenly, Joey is wrapped in a hefty squeeze, with the toon’s arms wrapped around his form several times, like a coil. “Oh, thank you, Joey! I knew I could count on you,” Henry exclaims, with a big, goofy grin on his face.

“… It’s no trouble,” Joey smiles softly and hugs his co-worker back. “Now run along and do… Whatever it is you do when you’re not working. You can even try playing around with the other toons for a while!”

Henry pushes the fainting couch 'off-screen’ with a kick, resulting in another anomalous crash. “Play, huh? I haven’t played since sixth grade…”

“Well,” Joey starts. “What’s a toon to do other than goof around all day?” Henry raises a brow. “Oh, yeah? No. Not doing it.”

“You know you want to.”

Henry hesitates. Something in him agrees with his boss. He has some internal instinct to run amok and cause trouble, for sure. But on the other hand, he doesn’t want to get FIRED.

Plus, it’s REALLY embarrassing.

“… Well… I don’t know about this, Joey. It’s a little…”

“HENRY,” an unidentified voice, accompanied by swift footsteps rings out.

“Whuh, B-Boris- GUH!”

Henry gets tackled to the ground by the massive cartoon wolf, squeezed in one of his famous 'wolf hugs’. “Oh, Henry, look at you! You’re just like us!”

“Yeah, I, uh.. I noticed, buddy.”

Boris gasps. “You know what this means, right, Henry?”

Henry shrugs. “What DOES it mean, Boris?”

“It means that we gotta teach you how to be a toon!”

“I’m sure I know PLENTY.”

“Well, then, c'mon,” Boris exclaims, getting off of Henry, lifting him up and taking him by the hand. “Let’s go have some fun!”

“Wait, Boris-”

And just like that, Boris whisks Henry away as Joey watches with a smile. This is going to get interesting.

((hey guys in happier news, my friend skittle’s writing a super long and amazing toon henry fic for this blog’s au and this is part one. its amazing and adorable and i hope it gets the love it honestly deserves, and thank you again skittle for this Blessing of a fic :D))

part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven

[just-pineapple-responses]

Just curious, how many shower thought (response) blogs are there? I just dived into this side of tumblr (not gonna make any posts its fun to read though) and I'm already losing my mind

Well there is

The. Literal. Sun.

Plasma...

S p a c e

ALL HAIL THE LIGHT

The void. It shall consume ALL.

A typewriter incase anyone wants to write their will before they die

Also some ink, not related to the typewriter

Also some words, I wonder who'll use them

A hat with no maker and a maker with no hat

The pen is mightier than the sword. It just so happens that this one is evil. Luckily I can summon multiple

Anyone order some coffee?

Ooo, an author

The literal embodiment if of fanart

A fork, nom noms

B҉ r҉ o҉ k҉ e҉ n҉ 

Soap

Soap(for hair)

Toothpaste

🄵🄰🅄🄲🄴🅃

Towel

Bath mat

Washcloth

Bathtub

Bathwater

𝔹𝕒𝕥𝕙𝕓𝕠𝕞𝕓

Bubblebath!

One (1) bath boi

Some M͓̽o͓̽l͓̽d͓̽ (anybody got some strong disinfectant?)

Nvm, the mold has already caused a plague (gettit?) (although user misspelled it)

Nevermind, there's already a parasite here

Mirror

Door!!!

Some curtains

A denim jacket

Blackout

Rainbow

✨ Magic ✨

*Tree poses to assert dominance*

Coconut

(obviously me)

I think popeye dropped a tin of spinch and it became sentient?

Tost

Hummus. dip tost?

Criss Cross applesauce

Wibbly wobbly Wibbly wobbly jellyo

Mmmm océan s o u p

Some poison, a great addition for my soup

Smol bean

Potat

Shower magpie who I haven't seen in a while

Bird (brain)

Frog(×2:Electric Boogaloo)

An axolotl!

Ferret

*looks at smudged writing on hand. Squints. * a raccoon

Stinky bastard man (I just had to put the two next to each other)

Rat.

Becometh crab 🦀 (x2: Electric Boogaloo)

Nya~

Edgy Nya~

Tripod of dog

Brain

Nina i found one of your neurons (if you understand this reference, good job you)

A rotted brain, keep it away before it infects us all, I only have 2 braincells left

Did... Did someone drop their spinal cord?

The almighty binch

The titanic

Narrator

Water based introspection

Existential crisis

Dumbass

Also a pacifier (get it because they're also called dummies and their name is dummy)

A foolish thought to say a sorry sight join the shower community (as you can tell we did Shakespeare in English so many times i pretty much can recite everything lady macbeth said)

ADHD

Ominous

Anonymous

Anxious 🥺👉👈

Some edgy bastard

A person of culture I see (although obsessed with tweed for some reason)

1 Dapper boi

Sarcastic

nice

All smiles and sunshine

HAPPY! (why isn't there yellow 😔)

Affection (Derogatory) (I'm sorry I just felt like it)

~Petty~

Idiot

Disaster

Chaos and Order

Comebacks

'vanishing'

Defences

Threatened

Op is on drugs

All the F s

And F-general

Get out of the shower

Shower responses

Dry

The horny and the simp

Shower sins

Thower shoughts

I take quick showers

Shower thots

Last responder *countdown music*

You have shower thoughts?

Your shower thoughts are stupid

Wtf shower thoughts

Another shower responder

MORE

Just shower responses... responses

Response shower

NO SHOWER! only thought (×3)

Mmm, showery

Penny for your thoughts?

Hello darkness my old friend...

Llawyer

Beepbeep

Prussia

Haywire!!!

furry OwO

A Pigeon got in through the door, who left it open?

I'm feeling devious

You're looking glamorous, let's get mischievous, and polyamorous

Gay is stored in the ass

Gay

Trans

*opens door and walks through with you exaggeratedly* Fellas we got the whole LGBTQIA+ community right here

Enby

Hahaha gender go brrr

Lesbian

Lesbian-thot

Lust

Someone who thinks it funny to clown around

Joker (derogatory)

Haha straight

Dead inside

Some supervillain idk

News. Literally a shower news style responses

r

I cannot believe that I forgot Her Greatest Majesty, the Queen. All Hail Royal

Isaac newton?

M megamind?

Fiftieth

Crackhead

Some Phoenix Wright kinnie

What is a Dean Winchester and why does he have a tentacle fetish?

Well well well, if it ain't a homestuckian

Did someone kill/rob The Doctor or something, their TARDIS was left behind and its blocking my pretzels that I left in the shower

Mined crafts uwu

Well well well, if it ain't- *accidentally makes eye contact and is then killed by some unknown shadowy creature holding what seems to be some sort of cube of dirt*

GOTTA GO FAST

Mishamishamishamishamishamishamisha

Gen Z and ready to throw hands with OP

Not puki

Nom noms

Dip dap

Kensa

B͓̽u͓̽n͓̽g͓̽e͓̽r͓̽ ..........

Someone broke their space bar or something

It's time to d-d-d-d-d-dshower

The magical deity of sleepovers

DON'T FALL ASLEEP. NO MATTER WHAT THEY TELL YOU-

The muffin man genuinely left drury Lane for this

Txmblr

Moonlit nights on a winters day, stars glimmering gently

A child?

🟥

The fae. Just all of them. Every single one.

Crocus? (What on earth does that mean)

*sings* baba blacksheep have you any wool? Because if not you will be killed (this fits the tune perfectly. If not I have failed in everything)

The theatre itself is here... Somehow

Ahoy-hoy

boo

REEEE- *epic geometry dash gameplay to DanTDM's old intro music*

Yardale, not to be mistaken for riverdale and differs to lawn ale or front porch ale or even meter ale

I'll finish this list later

It's gonna be a long one folks

I'm including a ones that haven't spoken since ages ago because

Boy howdy there's new ones tell me who I'm missing now

Please stop thank you very much this is too many i keep having to add to this any new responder must kill a responder to continue the purge shall claim y'all as I will win i recently started watching Danganronpa

Seriously though everyone after mirror must have a battle royale it's too much i doubt all of you will even last longer than today also happy birthday me -dated:28th- do you even realise what sort of commitment you've made to sell pieces of your soul for entertainment and ability to make such epic retorts each and every post?! I sacrifice many souls DAILY to be throwing such bangers into this stuff y'know?

We have a tap guys we can finally wash our hands of all the blood of our enemies

Seriously though who left the door open I don't want a Pigeon pecking at me (the mishapocalypse got them lol)

So many responders so little time before the end of the world

If I'm missing someone please tell me very thank

There are not enough colours for me to assign a different one to each person 😔 also, wtf is on there twice on purpose

WorldHealthOrganisation IS MISSING (note: you may have a joke in place of name or under a category of names)

So there's lore without me?

ALL HAIL THE LIGHT *moth noises*

Okay now there's alternate timeline versions of responders for the benefit of myself they ain't going on the list bud

There is an incorrect role play blog quotes blog and I am crying. Not of laughter. Just wiuwhdhsjhshjxjabjsjdhdjsj

If any new people join I will go back to causing shower wars for the sake of killing you all I'm done I have snapped my laptop is updating 3 times in a row

I will commit crimes.

Does being a shower responder or role-playing seem encouraging to people to join this "community"? Because I'm pretty sure it's the latter

[exsqueeze-me]

Bardock sfw alphabet plzz

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He's not ridiculously affectionate, but he does have his soft moments. He will let you hug and dote on him all you want, but unless you are alone, he won't reciprocate. He's much more affectionate when it's just the two of you.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Honestly, if you're his best buddy, you're probably his favorite training partner too. He's always up to spar with you. He's also super protective. Folks better think twice before messing with his training buddy.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He's absolutely a secret cuddle bug. He will never in a million years admit it to anyone, but he loves holding you close to him for hours on end.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He's not really into 'settling down'. He can't cook to save his life, so I wouldn't let him anywhere near a kitchen. He also is shit at cleaning. Like, he will try, but its gonna look just as dirty as it was before once he's done.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He would just up and leave. If he's at the point where he is ready to call it off with you, then he's not going to give you any sort of warning. You'll just wake up one morning and it'll be like he was never there in the first place.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He will bond you, but that's about it. He won't do the ceremony no matter how much you pester him. He sees no point in it.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

It depends on his mate. If his mate is strong and able to handle him being a bit rough around them, then he will be. If his mate is frail or substantially weaker than him, he's not gonna take any chances hurting them.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He likes hugs, but not in public. If you hug him in front of anyone, he won't really stop you, but he might groan and complain a bit. In private, hugs usually either turn into a cuddling session, or they turn into something a bit dirtier.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He doesn't really say it. He would rather show you how much he loves you. But if you say it to him, he'll give you a gruff 'you too'.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Foaming at the mouth. He won't make a big scene about it in public, but you can see the rage building. If he gets the chance, he's gonna make them think twice about flirting with his mate again. You're also in for the ride of your life when you get home.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He might give you a soft kiss every here and there, but usually kisses with him lead to the bedroom.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He definitely wants kids with his mate. But beware that he's gonna want to train them to fight as soon as they can walk. He'll hold off if you tell him to, but he won't be happy about it.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He's a clinger, so you aren't getting up til he gets up. Even after he wakes up, he's gonna keep you there for a bit. He's a soft-ish boi in the morning.. mostly.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Honestly, he's just ready to get to sleep. If you and him aren't fucking before bed, he's just gonna pull you in his arms, close his eyes, and tell you goodnight.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

You actually might never know a lot of things about him. It's not that he's unwilling to tell you, it's that he just doesn't feel like its necessary. He may tell you if you ask, but he won't really outright tell you much.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He's patient, but it's not really one of his virtues. He can deal with quite a bit before he loses his shit, but it depends on the situation.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He tries to remember certain things, but if it's not really important, then it dosen't really stick. Like, he won't really remember your birthday, but if you or someone else brings it up, he'll take you out for the day and let you enjoy yourself.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Probably the day he bonded you. He doesn't do things like that lightly, so it was a pretty big thing.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

If anyone or anything gets a hair up their ass and decides to try and hurt you, they're not gonna make it too far. Bardock is ready to blast that ass real fast. Noone is getting to you unless they get past him first.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Not much. He might toss you the occasional gift, but its usually something like Saiyan armour or the head of a recently killed enemy. Ya know, romantic stuff.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

His protectiveness and possessiveness come at a price. That price being he's gonna be aggressive with anyone he doesn't know. If he hasn't been introduced to them before and doesn't know if they're okay, he doesn't like them.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Honestly couldn't care less. Like he's hot and he knows it, but he also doesn't care about appearances. In his eyes, strength and loyalty are all that matters.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

It depends. If he's claimed you as a mate but hasn't bonded you yet, then he can move on with his life pretty easy. If you were bonded, then it would be a hard hit. He wouldn't outwardly show it, but he would be a tad more aggressive to anyone he crossed paths with after that.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He absolutely adores having his tail pet. Like, he had to trust you with his life to let you near it, but once you get the opportunity, don't waste it. If you pet the fluffy appendage just right, you might hear him purr.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Dishonesty or disloyalty. He just doesn't want to be around people he can't trust. He hates having to constantly watch his back against the people that he should be able to call comrades.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He's probably hella nice to sleep with tbh. He clings to you and snores softly. But it's not, like, bad. It's more like a soft, consistent white noise.

[unofficialkfamtranscripts]

King Falls AM - Episode 5: Night of the Living Dread

View on Google Docs

Summary: July 1, 2015 - Sammy & Ben learn of some breaking news regarding the Lake Hatchenhaw John Doe, but not everyone is as pleased as the broadcast duo.

[Podcast intro music]

Announcer Dear listeners, please note that the following program may contain views that do not reflect that of King Falls AM, its management, or its subsidiaries. Listener discretion is advised.

[KFAM intro music]

Sammy You’re listening to King Falls AM, that’s 660 on the radio dial. I’m your host, Sammy Stevens, and as always we are joined by producer and co-host extraordinaire, Ben Arnold.

Ben [trying not to be amused] You’re so- you’re so happy, aren’t you? You’re a child. Getting so giddy over that message.

Sammy Listening to a warning before a radio broadcast I’m on has literally been on the bucket list for a long time. Thanks Merv!

Ben *laughter* Ridiculous. A glutton for punishment.

Sammy What can I say? I enjoy a nice game of hard ball! Uh, y’know, but enough about what Merv doesn’t want you to hear, let’s talk about what he does want you to hear. And what do we have cooking tonight, Ben?

Ben Dude, it’s stacked alright? Stacked. We’ve got the- lovely Miss Emily Potter from the King Falls Library giving us her picks for enlightened summer reading.

Sammy Terrific! We always love speaking with Emily!

Ben You and me both.

Sammy I said “we,” Ben.

Ben Uh, I know. I- *breathes in* [stilted] I- We-We-uh, We’ve got some really cool news! here. We-we are announcing the line-up for the first annual King Falls Ambient Music Festival. That’s coming up the second hour.

Sammy Wait a second. The King Falls Ambient Music Festival? Is this town even big enough for a festival?

Ben Oh yeah! It’s like Coachella[1] but for hipsters that just want to relax. It’s all about “setting the mood.”

Sammy You know, I’m wondering if they’re gonna make it to a second annual.

Ben And then, um, [reluctant and slipping into mumbling] opening up the show we-we’ve got the- doctor *mumbling*

Sammy I-I’m sorry, Ben, what was that? You’re trailing off, buddy.

Ben We have that umm, *sniffs, lets out breath* one… guy. You know that- fo- w- talking about that *deep breath* one thing—

Sammy [trying to cut him off] Ben—

Ben —from a month ago or so—?

Sammy What? What are you talking about?

Ben You know— May- maybe we should start it with Uh, callers first! [mildly frantic] Just-uh-Give us a call at 424-279-3858 and let’s talk about… *tsk* anything! Let’s uh, whats your-whats your-whats-whats on your mind King Falls?

Sammy Ladies and gentlemen, put down your phones for a second. What Ben is trying to say is we’ve got a scoop here this evening on King Falls AM. We’re gonna be speaking with—

Ben [cutting Sammy off]Or you can tweet us! @kingfallsam. I-I-I will literally talk about anything right now. Even to Mr. Derschwitz about that weird toenail thing. Let-lets-lets go, people!

Sammy I thought we agreed—

Ben I know. Sammy, I’m sorry it’s just, [slightly more frantic] I’m-I’m not feelin’ the best here. Alright? my stomach, is all… knotted up, just thinking about this.

Sammy That is journalism. That feeling is journalism—

Ben [speaking over Sammy] I think it might actually be an ulcer! It Tastes, like Fear and Feels, like Cancer . It’s way more than anxiety. I-I’m gonna call Dr. Raúl, at break.

Sammy He’s a chiropractor!

Ben Maybe he can refer me?

Sammy Power through it, buddy! Look at this folks, we got somebody dialing into the hotline right now! You ready for this Ben? Come on.

Ben Please, be Reverend Hawthorne so we can talk about the Revival next month.

Sammy Oh stop it. You know he isn’t even scheduled!

Ben I just thought— maybe that’s how prayers work, I don’t know, I’m not a reverend!

Sammy King Falls AM, you’re on the air.

Dr. Rosenblum [Dr. Rosenblum’s voice is measured and monotonous and mildly creepy at all times] Good evening, this is Dr. Jeffery Rosenblum, with the, King Falls County Coroner’s Office.

Ben C-can I please just say—

Sammy Dr. Rosenblum, it is a pleasure to speak with you this evening.

Rosenblum Excited to be here, Sammy. Ecstatic even. We listen on slow nights.

Ben That’s the scariest thing I’ve ever heard.

Sammy Much appreciated, Doc. Now, as fate would have it, you were the overseeing physician working on the Lake Hatchenhaw John Doe, is that correct?

Ben Doc? Can you just, hold on for- one- moment- please?

Rosenblum Of course, Ben I—

Sammy Don’t start, Ben! We agreed to see this through.

Ben All I’m saying i- lemme finish- a- i-is that maybe it’s not our place *deep breath* to break this kind of news.

Sammy Fine. You know what? You’re right! Let’s just give this to our friends down at Channel 13 and let them be the ones to alert the public about this.

Ben [journalist voice] Doc, Ben Arnold. Tell us about cracking open the mystery body.

Sammy [quietly] Oh.

Rosenblum It’s true that I was the operating physician on that particular John Doe, y-es, irrefutablyy

Sammy Now, as I understand, your official report was released yesterday morning, doctor, but amazingly enough, not one publication or news station in our town- including King Falls AM- reported on it.

Rosenblum You are correct. Busy news day- one would assume.

Ben So, that means, you are— free to talk about it on air.

Rosenblum I would be elated

Sammy First and foremost on everyone’s minds: were there any signs of, uh, y’know, the lake mo- *sighs* I can’t.

Ben Did Kingsie make the body, bite the big one?

Rosenblum There was no evidence that a creature large or small had anything to do with the deceased.

Ben *sigh of relief* That- I knew Kingsie didn’t have it in her.

Sammy Now, Dr. Rosenblum, can you tell us if there was any foul play involved at all?

Rosenblum During our first autopsy we were not able to distinguish with certainty the cause of death. But there were no signs of foul play

Sammy I’m sorry, did you say “first” autopsy?

Ben [confused] Is that normal? Did you- find out the cause of death during the… second autopsy?

Rosenblum Indeed. It was six individual gunshot wounds to the victim’s head. Three shots to the temporal lobe, two to the mendulla oblongata—

Sammy What?! Six gunshot wounds?!

Rosenblum To the cranium, yes. One to the frontal lobe, another to—

Ben So the Lake Hatchenhaw John Doe was, murdered?

Sammy I can’t believe this! This is big! Why didn’t one news outlet report this thing yesterday?!

Rosenblum Well, the cause of death was inconclusive and with no signs of foul play, it was not exactly a juicy story.

Ben and Sammy Wait a second.

Rosenblum …yes?

Sammy I’m sorry, doc. I’m not in the medical orrr criminal fields but, how is six gunshots not foul play?

Rosenblum Well, that was between the first autopsy and the second. The gunshots were self-defense administered via Deputy Kreighauser at my behest.

Sammy Ben, we’re gonna wanna get Troy on the phone and see what he’s got to say about this.

Ben “Things Ben Arnold would never think under ordinary circumstances for 800, Alex.”[2]

Sammy Doc, while we’re getting Deputy Troy on the line, would you mind if we took a quick break to hear from one of our sponsors?

Rosenblum That’s just- Dandy.

[light bg music]

Greg Frickard After a long day’s work or a tough day’s play, you probably just wanna come home and relax. No need to slave over a hot stove for hours on end. Well that’s where we come in! Here at Granny Frickard’s, we know that the less time you spend doing the things you don’t like, is the more time you spend with the ones you love. So come get some of the best frog legs that money can buy. Granny Frickard’s French-fried farm-fresh never-frozen filleted-and-fricasseed fried-and-flambeed frog legs. Mm-mm-mm. So get on down to Granny Frickard’s Froggery at the corner of Main Street and 7th Avenue. We’ll put some pep in your step and some hop in your heart.

[KFAM intro music]

Sammy And we’re back on King Falls AM, here with King Falls County Coroner, Dr. Jeffery Rosenblum.

Rosenblum A Pleasure.

Sammy Do you have Troy, Ben?

Ben He’s booking one of the Williams boys for mooning. He’ll call us in a few.

Sammy I’m a little out of sorts here, doc. Can you explain what happened between the first inconclusive autopsy and the point where Troy filled the cadaver full of lead.

Rosenblum Of course. As I was finishing the initial post-mortem, it came to my attention that the deceased began to emit a hissing sound, fluctuating between the lower thorax and the larynx.

Ben Oh my God.

Rosenblum I called for Deputy Kreighauser and he entered, as I wanted someone else to see this- phenomenon. That’s when the John Doe began a slight, thrashing about the upper torso.

Ben Um… are you saying—

Rosenblum The deputy began to fumble for his sidearm while we both discerned that something was wildly- amiss. The deceased opened its eyes and instantly grabbed for the lapel of my lab coat with voracious tenacity.

Ben Wh- ah- go on.

Rosenblum It gnashed its teeth as I emitted a terrified, albeit, high pitched, scream. And that’s when Troy unholstered his sidearm and administered six lethal shots to the reanimated corpse’s cranium.

Ben A zombie.

Sammy Alright, is there- [fumbling] Let’s just say- is there-

Ben We’ve got Troy on the line.

Deputy Troy [in bg] I don’t care if he was only joshin’. You can’t show your G-D derriere out in public! [car door slams] [pleasantly] Hey boys, what’s goin’ on tonight?

Sammy You tell us, Troy, holy geez! Uh, we’ve got Dr. Rosenblum on the line here and—

Deputy Troy Is this about the zombie?

Ben Yes! So-so you’re confirming this story, Troy?

Deputy Troy Well, hell yeah I’m confirming! I had to do three hours of damn paper work from unloadin’ my pistola into a corpse! Sheriff Gunderson was not the happiest of campers.

Ben [excited and awed] This is amazing… This is unprecedented .

Sammy [skeptical] This is a little unbelievable, Troy.

Rosenblum It is a first in my profession. Believe you me. [still tonelessly] Wowzers.

Deputy Troy Honest engine[3] boys. I capped the all get out of that thing! It had the doc by the face ‘bout to start chewing!

Rosenblum You’re my hero, Deputy Troy.

Deputy Troy Shucks, wasn’t nothin’ special.

Ben [slightly sullen] Except killing the first instance of a zombie in King Falls since—

Sammy Don’t say “since”.

Ben … Well… Since that one time at the mall in the '80s.

Sammy No, that’s not a real thing, Ben. That’s a film.

Ben [worked up] Sammy? How many extraordinary things are gonna have to SLAP you right in the face to make you buy into this? KING FALLS, MAN.

Deputy Troy You know me, Sammy. I always shoot ya straight. But it was the craziest sh[bleep]t I’ve ever seen. I mean it was like my-ex-wife-needs-alimony-money crazy.

Ben See? Even Barney Fife[4] saw it.

Sammy *sighs* I just—

Rosenblum I don’t want to cause an uproar here, but since that exam, there have been, other cases.

Ben Of frickin’ zombies?

Rosenblum Of reanimation among corpses… yes.

Deputy Troy Doc, you just give me a call if you need. I’m more than happy to go Clint Eastwood if the situation arises.

Rosenblum Will do, Deputy. Thank you so much for your- assistance. Without you, there may not have been this- interview.

Deputy Troy [proud] To protect and serve.

Sammy I can’t take all this in right now, Dr. Rosenblum I- e- Thank you so much for your insightful information.

Rosenblum As they say, [still monotone] “you got it, duude.”

[click, dial tone]

Ben You okay, Sammy? You… don’t look so well.

Deputy Troy Ah, hell, boys.[siren whoop] I gotta go. I’ll call you back later tonight! One of the Williams boys is tryin’ ta saw through the bars outside the jailhouse? [sirens in bg] [through megaphone] Jacob Williams put your hands UP and the file DOWN.

[click, dial tone]

Ben Alright King Falls, you’ve heard our story, let’s hear yours. Have you or anyone you know experienced anything like what the doctor spoke of? Reanimation? The walking—

Sammy Don’t.

Ben You know what I mean. Give us a call or tweet us.

Sammy Looks like the board is lighting up!

Ben Um…

Sammy What’s up? Okay, it can’t be any crazier than what we just heard, Ben.

Ben Line One, Sammy.

Sammy Welcome to King Falls AM, you’re on with Sammy and Ben.

Line 1 [female, almost sounds automated] Good evening, Sammy—

Sammy Do I know you ma'am?

Riley — please hold for Mayor Grisham.

Ben He… Probably just wants us to— mark these tapes as, evidence. *nervous laugh* Right, Sammy?

Sammy Or burn them.

Riley Sammy Stevens, Mayor Grisham.

Sammy Mayor?

Mayor Grisham Sammy… Ben.

Sammy You’re on live on King Falls AM, sir.

Mayor Grisham [commanding] Take me off and go to break. We need to chat.

Sammy No can do. Ben says we aren’t scheduled for break for another- uh- at least ten minutes.

Mayor Grisham Ben. Cut. To. Commercial.

Ben Uh- uh- uh- the thing is- I- I- I can’t- do that. Sir.

Mayor Grisham [threateningly pleasant] You boys want to talk live on air? We can talk live on air.

Sammy [challenging] Nothin’ to hide on this end of the phone, Mayor Grisham.

Mayor Grisham I hear your snide remarks, Sammy. I’ve read the transcripts.

Sammy Which! let’s be honest, is pretty weird. We’re a late night AM talk show, why are you bothering with us?

Mayor Grisham Oh, I don’t bother with you. I try to keep up to date with all the local news and entertainment. I gotta say, I was really happy a big city radio guy decided to come play host at our little radio station.

Sammy Well, I’m more than happy to—

Mayor Grisham I wasn’t finished… But I have to say, I’m a little less than thrilled with [accusingly] all the excitement you brought with you.

Sammy I’d hardly call reporting the news “excitement”, sir—

Mayor Grisham It’s interesting to me that I don’t see Channel 13 breaking these crazy stories.

Ben [quickly] No offense, your honor, but those idiots don’t know their a[bleep]holes from their elbows.

Mayor Grisham And you boys being on site when these “events” happen? [softly, still accusing] It’s a little bit of a coincidence don’t you think?

Sammy Are you insinuating that we are staging these events, Mayor?

Mayor Grisham I’m stating facts. I’m sure your ratings are way, way up there since all these sensational events seem to coincide with your broadcast. Why do you think that is? Furthermore, I mean who’s up listening to you at this ungodly hour of the night?!

Sammy Seemingly most of the town, Sir. As well as whomever you’ve hired to keep an ear on us.

Mayor Grisham I’ve tried to be nice about this… And I tried to be civil… but I think it’s about time that you troublemakers changed formats. No more of this funny business. It’s not good for the listeners. It’s not good for the residents. And honestly? it’s not good for me. I don’t appreciated being painted in this light, gentlemen.

Sammy Oh! You mean the light where you as a public service,[sic] try to quell the voice of the people.

Ben It’s not your right to tell us what we can and can’t report on, sir. All due respect.

Mayor Grisham [rudely] All due respect, Ben Arnold. Just a couple of months ago you were digging up old records on eBay for Chet Sebastian to run on about. Now you’re a media star?? That’s worrisome! Seems you fellas have All the reasons in the world to fabricate these issues, and I have to say I’m not gonna sit here and listen to this, while you LIE TO THE GOOD PEOPLE OF KING FALLS.

Sammy Well, when we start “fabricating” and “making things up,” you can come throw the book at us. But until then- [click, dial tone] Whoops! Looks like you just got disconnected. I’d wait for you to give us a call back and all, but with it not being an election year I probably shouldn’t hold my breath.

Ben Line One iiis lit up again, Sammy.

Sammy [insincerely] Oh, sorry about that Mayor! I must have fabricated accidentally dumping your call when-

Esther Rollens [heavy metal music in bg] [voice old and wavering] Did you boys fund a lavender ball of yarn in there? Been looking for it all week! [click, dial tone]

Ben [shaken] Sammy, I think that commercial might do us some good right now.

[KFAM outro]

[CREDITS]

References

[1] Coachella - The Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival (commonly called Coachella or the Coachella Festival) is an annual music and arts festival held at the Empire Polo Club in Indio, California, in the Coachella Valley in the Colorado Desert.

[2] Reference to the TV game show Jeopardy!

[3] I honestly can’t tell if he’s saying “honest engine” or “honest injun” but i’mma go with the one that’s technically incorrect but also not super racist.

[4] Barney Fife - Deputy from the Andy Griffith Show. Calling a police officer or authority figure "Barney Fife" has become an American slang term for gross ineptitude or overzealousness.

[mydarlinclementine]

u n s e e i n g    e y e s    f o l l o w    a p p r o a c h i n g    f o o t s t e p s    . . .

     “  hope you’re not try’na be a sneak.          it’s unbecoming. ”  

                                                     a warning laced with poison.                                                       she stands by the window.                                                      no cane. no fear.

     friend or foe, they’ve got      one thing       she’s after.

                                          “ got a light ? ”

( jodie comer, gorgon, she/her & cisfemale ) is that ( bad reputation ) by joan jett & the blackhearts ) playing? (clementine cornelia carmichael ) must be nearby! heard folks say the ( one hundred fifty ) year old ( ex-mercenary ) was at the thanksgiving fair, ( lightin’ a cigarette by the kiddie play pen ) when chaos ensued. during the glitch, ( she dropped her cane while jumped by some no-good, possessed werecreatures, ‘til a mystery someone swooped her off to safety ).

b a c k g r o u n d .

clementine cornelia carmichael was the second of two daughters born to the carmichael family in georgia... and the disappointment starts there. her parents had been vying for a son, but alas –– with one x chromosome too many, they had no choice but to amend their planned wills. their family fortune, derived from plantation money, would go to the first daughter to marry, and her husband.

the catch. clementine didn’t know about this policy. only her older sister ( wanted connection ) was aware. so when clementine married her first husband, jeb, at 16, her older sister began brainstorming ways to sabotage their marriage to get the inheritance back in her name. it began with petty things. flubbing house parties. planting rumors. attempting to seduce jeb. eventually, it became clear this love was strong and she wouldn’t break it alone.

and then her lucky break struck. jeb and clementine’s efforts to have a child grew more desperate in the third year of their marriage. by 19, clementine had two miscarriages and narrowly escaped with her life. little did she know, getting so close to death activated a dormant gene in her...

all carmichael women are gorgons. her older sister knew about the family lore but clementine had never bothered to listen to her mother’s old tales of men turned to stone. it was only folk tales, old wive’s tales designed to scare both daughters into staying prim, proper, and well-behaved.

imagine her shock when, while they were making love, jeb turned to stone. talk about yikes. clementine flipped. her older sister came to the rescue –– with a pick axe and a sledgehammer. the two women pulverized the stone and buried it in an urn in the back yard of the young couple’s yard. widowed, clementine was reduced to nothing. no joys in life presented to her. the kicker? gorgons can reverse their own stone-turnings. and her sister? the bitch bloody lied to get her hands back on the inheritance.

a year and a half later, gorgon hunters stormed the house and mistook clementine for her sister. they kidnapped her and planned to kill her, until the quick-witted lady pitched an offer they couldn’t pass up: she’d provide them with mercenary services in exchange for her life. all of a sudden, their hunting jobs got ten times easier.

clem before jeb’s death was gentle. docile. calm waters, soothing breezes, dog-eared pages come morning. now? she whipped at the world with a vengeance. why deny what she was? why fight her essence?

clem later turned her captors to stone and privatized her mercenary jobs. her body count rose and rose, with no evidence left over for incrimination. but... by the late 1960′s, she grew tired of running. tired of hunting. with fresh dust on her hands, she finished her last kill, collected her hefty bill, and used the money to relocate to tiny letum falls, oklahoma.

there, she began to help out at the garden emporium, adding to its statue collection from pure boredom. she’d go to the bars, sleep around, repeat.

in the 70′s, she met manny otero, and the two have danced around one another ever since –– fuck buddies. she’ll never admit she actually might have feelings for the man.

in september, descendants of the hunters clem worked with and killed arrived in letum falls, searching for a blonde gorgon –– they found what they were lookin’ for, but not exactly who. again, mistaken for her sister, clem was attacked and left for dead in an abandoned house by the woods. dumb asses. didn’t know a gorgon can’t die unless you behead her.

clem awoke from the incident bloodied and blind. she can make out light and some loose peripheral shadows, but the blows to her head damaged her optical nerves enough to render her legally blind. she begrudgingly carries a cane when absolutely necessary, but she’ll more often than not defy using it by just... struggling her way through things. it’s messy. inelegant. but she’d rather stumble and trip than admit she needs assistance.

unlike other people, who might view tragedy as a way to make amends and realign with the world, clem’s attack just fueled her fire. she’s agitated. bristly. ready to snap at anyone who gets too close. it’s a miracle she hasn’t done a number on manny yet, or xander. ( she’s got a bit of a soft spot for the guy. )

t h e     f a i r .

she went ‘cause everyone expected her not to. idiots. of course she was going to prove assholes wrong. of course she was going to light up a few cigs near the kiddie play pen. who do you think she is ?  a changed woman ?

like clockwork, the first screams rang out when clem finally heard her lighter catch. so she took her time. lit the cigarette, took a looooooong drag. then came the footsteps. the snarls. the corner of her lips turned up in the teeniest of smirks.

she smelled it before she felt it. the blood. but just as soon as the pain blossomed ‘round her right forearm and shoulder, she was being pulled in the opposite direction. practically carried.

yeah. someone saved her ass. and she’s pissed about it.

c u r r e n t l y .

spends her time drinking, smoking, ‘n adding to brooks baker’s gray clouds over at the bakery. when she’s not there, you can find her sitting in her favorite diner booth sipping her umpteenth black coffee or tearin’ into a big fat slice of key lime pie.

aw. you scared ?  you think some big bad glitch is gonna come back to take you, too ? cry her a river, hun. this ain’t nothing.

the local bartenders already know to pour her a double whiskey, straight as soon as she walks in the door. clem’s got this presence about her –– she turns heads and makes ‘em want to turn away all in one go.

c u r r e n t     c o n n e c t i o n s .

fuck buddy / savior – manny otero.  she’s got him right where she wants him... in bed. these two ooze libido and become a show almost anywhere they go. sometimes she’ll let him buy her a drink. other times, it’s just easier to cut to the chase. since becoming blind, things with manny haven’t changed much, and clem’s thankful for that. little does she know, he’s the asshole who saved her life at the fair.

unlikely ally – xander chapell.  these two share late night cigs after clem gets some and, xander, well... does not, due to a variety of freak and unfortunate incidents. often clem barging in pre-bang. they have a special trust between them. xander opened up to clem about losing bez the night after the glitch. and she opened up to him, a little, about her past. it’s uncanny. but their bond works.

w a n t e d     c o n n e c t i o n s .

enemies.  give me people who really rub clem the wrong way. it ain’t hard to do.

her older sister.  their relationship is dysfunctional. deceptive. manipulative. you’d think they were the heads of opposing armies, not borne from the same flesh and blood. surprise surprise, clem has since uncovered a gorgon’s ability to reverse their changes. needless to say, she’s wanting to seek some kind of comeuppance. the issue? her older sister has been the only person to succeed in forcing help on her after losing her sight. and killing her own caretaker? that’d look pretty gnarly, from the outside lookin’ in.

drinking crew.  they’re not close, but they share a dark sense of humor and a penchant for dullin’ the senses.

garden emporium customers.  i would love to have a connection whose relative / dog / etc. were turned to stone and showed up at the emporium the very same week they decided to snag some kind of lawn ornament to complement their new landscaping... let’s make it crunchy, and awkward, and terrible.

hookups / past flings.  she’s been here a while. been around the world for a while. so i reckon while her body count for kills is high, her body count for beddin’ gives it a run for its money.

mentor / mentee type of thing.  someone’s looking to learn from her. why ?  who knows. but she’ll offer ill-founded advice and bitter philosophies. doesn’t have a good reason not to.

[denouxments]

dylan minnette. cismale. he/him. — did you see { alex mercier }, i haven’t seen the { twenty-one } year old in a while! you know, they’re a { musician }, and have been living in jersey city for { twenty-one years }. some say they're { cynical & indecisive }, but i think they're { generous & talented }. regardless, i’m glad { alex } is here.

backstory

aaaaaand in the door to the right we have trash son #2, alex !! ( woo ! ahh ! ) you can find his dossier page HERE, his biography does not exist yet ( i’m gonna kick my own ass ), and there is a pinterest board for him HERE.

ok so boy is a middle child through and through LOL. his dad is a writer who also works as an english professor at new york university, meanwhile his mom works in human services helping people who have fallen off their track in life and stuff.

alex is essentially a male carbon copy of his mom in appearance but his personality is 100% his dad’s lmao

his siblings are a wanted connection !

also his household includes a deaf cat named shrimp that alex literally fished out of a gutter when he was 14. she’s his baby despite the fact that he’s mildly allergic to both cats AND shrimp ( i r o n i c ). here’s the instagram of the cat i’m saying she looks like

real mundane middle class life. there have been highs and lows like any other family, but there’s no tragedy here folks ! that comes later and has nothing to do with his family !

his dad was really into rock music and playing the drums when he was younger cuz wow the 80s and really wanted at least one of his kids to have good taste in music, so he kept the drum set and all the old records despite the fact that they were just collecting dust in the garage . . . until alex came along !

first was the drums, then it was the guitar, then it was being dual-enrolled in both the band and choir classes, and then, finally, it was starting his own band with 2 friends at only 11 years old

his dad got real lucky cuz alex clearly loved music, and he considers the 80s to be legendary. 

i'm gonna revisit his music in a moment cuz we gotta start getting into the tragedy that i mentioned ! so alex was like a really chill dude when high school started. he was a bit of a pretentious hipster bitch, but he was chill. he didn’t really say no to things ? like if something or someone just fell into his lap, he’d roll with it and didn’t really think too much about the consequences ? he was a big stoner and lost his virginity and probably way too young of an age because of it. he just didn’t really Care too much lol

he was essentially that quiet stoner that played his guitar in the courtyard and didn’t pay much attention to anything going on around him 

. . . unless he overheard you talking about something that was stupid or he didn’t agree with. then he’d butt in to be like “l o l that’s wrong !”

then he met molly ! if you’ve read chloe’s intro for bobbi you know molly ! we love molly ! molly was cute in that girl-next-door way and she was funny with good taste. it was hard for alex not to fall in love with her, really. they were friends first before they started dating, and it was through her that he met all of his current ride-or-die friends. he had never been good at making them, so she was a blessing for his social life. she was amazing. he loved her, his parents loved her, they were good. she was good and then she was gone. just like that. a car accident in which she wasn’t even the driver.

to say the loss devastated him would be an understatement. he shut down completely. he stopped hanging out with friends, stopped playing guitar in the courtyard; his presence in class was like that of a ghost. nobody ever knew what to say to alex before, and it was twice as true now. he just sort of Existed for the remainder of junior year, throwing himself into his studies instead of ever really taking the Time to Deal with it all.

it really hit him like a truck when summer hit and it was at this point that his parents forced him to start seeing a therapist.

his therapist recommended he use his band and music as an outlet, since that seemed to be his healthiest coping mechanism. ( see, i told you we’d get back to that ! ) taking this advice, he threw himself headfirst into it. like, he got really into his band. it’d been a bit of a hobby between friends before, and sometimes they worked small gigs, but now alex was also trying to produce them on a bigger scale. this helped him through his grief tremendously, especially because if felt like he was doing molly proud.

alex was 18 and had graduated when all this hard work paid off. after releasing a self-made ep entitled after molly, the band started gaining some serious traction. we’re talking getting featured on spotify’s indie hits lists and their fanbase skyrocketing in size from the couple hundred monthly listeners it had been. suddenly they were getting booked sold out indie gigs left and right all across the manhatten area. it was nuts and it is still nuts. they even have a well demanded

they’ve put out a 2nd ep since the initial takeoff and are now working on a full blown album ! exciting !

so, yeah, that’s definitely an exciting exchange for being utterly heartbroken i suppose. its been years since molly passed now, so he’s okay now for the most part. he still gets sad sometimes, and he still has all the pictures they took together and all the cheesy playlists they made for each other saved. she’s always gonna be the first girl he was ever in love with,, and i don’t think he’s yet to have a serious relationship since her, but don’t worry about him just being a clay jensen 2.0. my boy is faaaar from that and he’s had his grace period, y’know ? he good.

personality

fuuuucking hiiiiipster buuuuullshiiiit ! coffee and vinyl aesthetic all day bby. will call out your shit taste in music

loves to debate and argue semantics. will always play devils advocate even if he agrees with you 100%. also will go on for hours about the political climate and existence if you accidentally get him there

a bit antisocial. he doesn’t really know how to, like, approach people ? and then when people approach him he has a tendency to rub people the wrong way with his lackluster people skills

tries to go to parties and bars and stuff sometimes because that’s Normal, right ?

a ride or die pal when you do manage to befriend him though ! would drop e v e r y t h i n g for his friends and loves to spoil them relentlessly. the type to randomly show up at your house in his 3,000 year old mustang and take you to lunch or just go driving. 

big ole hufflepuff

he’s not really that super free spirit that he was before molly passed. now he actually cares a more about his actions to the point of being lowkey paranoid, honestly. like he’s always wanted tattoos but he constantly second guesses what he wants to get cuz he doesn’t wanna be the guy that got a shitty tattoo, y’know ? so he hasn’t done it at all

cynical boyyyyy. he’s one of those guys that’s like “i’m a realist, not a pessimist”. definitely doesn’t have a whole lot of faith in others outside of his friends and family. will always assume the worst out of people and question their motives

thinks of himself as really boring. not in a self deprecating way, but a factual way

hobbies include music, video games ( he does streams of him being shit at pubg on twitch sometimes ! ), watching movies ( horror specifically is a favorite ), sitting on his roof at 3am to look at the sky, going on walks when there’s nothing else to do, and aggressively frowning when his car breaks down in the middle of nowhere

seriously he really enjoys horror. halloween is his favorite holiday even though he isn’t really big on candy or dressing up. he just thinks the spooky aesthetic is real fun and its cool to see what everyone else is doing

he’s a skeptic on all things supernatural so all you boogaras better snatch him up !!

i drew this expression doodle page that honestmeme sums up his personality pretty well ( it is messy so plz be kind . . . )

connections

his bandmates is a given. i just need 2 others , , , any gender any fc. i have a wc for it.

either of his 2 siblings . . . another wc

any music friends tbh

rival musicians ? yes

people he just doesn’t get along with in general. he’s a pretentious snot so its pretty easy

unlikely friends ( probably someone super idealistic and bubbly )

childhood friends

he hasn’t had a serious relationship since molly so maybe someone he’s kinda into and that’s kinda into him but they taking it REAL slow

on the off hand some exes from him trying to see if he was ready to date again and just wasn’t

someone he debates with a lot. friends or not, they’re just really fun to banter back and forth with

horror night movie buddies !!

gets blazed w/ him on the roof in the middle of the night rambling about if ants have a conscious

he’s got his own place but a roommate or 2 would be nice !

anything anything anything. he’s constantly finding himself in bizarre situations that he just rolls with so long as it doesn’t leave a bad butterfly effect. hmuuuuuu and we can brainstorm

[placetobenation]

6 months into the COVID-19 pandemic and this is the week that the wrestling world was hit all around with positive tests. Most affected seems to be NXT and AEW. While no cases have been publicly confirmed on the NXT, RAW or SmackDown roster this week by WWE, reports are that there was quite a bit of movement with storylines being rewritten and some superstars not being in attendance. Meanwhile, on AEW, #1 contender Lance Archer is out due to the coronavirus.

It’s hard to believe that the NXT #1 contender’s match was supposed to be KUSHIDA vs. Cameron Grimes, Bronson Reed, Timothy Thatcher and Kyle O’Reilly. No disrespect intended to those 5, but the lack of superstar talent is quite striking. It would be hard to believe that the folks running NXT (yes, you Triple H and Shawn Michaels), wanted it to be that way. Unfortunately, there’s no transparency in the WWE, so we’ll never really know. The WWE should be very transparent and honest when dealing with the pandemic and its effects on the product. But then again, this is the same company that still hasn’t come clean on why Roman Reigns wasn’t around during WrestleMania and the months afterwards.

The other thing that’s really bugging me these days about the WWE? Disqualifications. It’s lazy booking and the WWE is relying on it 2-3 times a show these days. It’s unnecessary. Please stop!

Finally, what the hell was that with RETRIBUTION! Yikes! We’ll discuss more in our RAW recap! But first, some PPV’s to attend to first.

Clash of Champions – UPDATED CARD

WWE Championship Ambulance Match: Drew McIntyre vs. Randy Orton

WWE Universal Championship Match: Roman Reigns vs. Jey Uso

SmackDown Women’s Championship Match: Bayley vs. Nikki Cross

WWE Women’s Championship Match: Shayna Baszler and Nia Jax vs. The Riott Squad

Smackdown Tag Team Championship Match: Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Lucha House Party

RAW Tag Team Championship Match: The Street Profits vs. Angel Garza and Andrade

WWE Undisputed Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match: Jeff Hardy vs. AJ Styles vs. Sami Zayn

WWE United States Championship Match: Bobby Lashley vs. Apollo Crews

RAW Women’s Championship Kickoff Show Match: Asuka vs. Zelina Vega

NXT:TakeOver – UPDATED CARD

NXT Championship Match: Finn Balor vs. Kyle O’Reilly

NXT Women’s Championship Match: Io Shirai vs. Candice LeRae

NXT North American Championship Match: Damian Priest vs. Johnny Gargano

Star of the Week:

Alexa Bliss – A rockstar to be sure! Whether it’s been as a face or a heel, in the ring, out of the ring, on the mic or just being there, Miss Bliss is fabulous! And now, with this tweener chartacter with influence from The Fiend, she’s rocking it in every way! The glances and facial expressions are on point and we can’t wait to see where it goes next!

RAW

RESULTS

RAW Tag Team Championship #1 Contender Match: Andrade & Angel Garza defeated Humberto Carrillo & Dominik Mysterio and Seth Rollins & Murphy

Non-title WWE Championship Match: Drew McIntyre defeated Keith Lee via DQ

RAW Women’s Championship #1 Contender Match: Zelina Vega defeated Mickie James

Apollo Crews defeated Cedric Alexander

RAW Underground: Dolph Ziggler defeated Arturo Ruas

Non-title Women’s Championship Match: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler defeated Natalya & Lana

RAW Underground: Riddick Moss defeated Erik

Non-title RAW Women’s Championship Match: Asuka defeated Peyton Royce

RAW Underground: Braun Strowman defeated Dabba-Kato

The Hurt Business vs. RETRIBUTION went to a no-contest

#RETRIBUTION has spoken on #WWERaw. pic.twitter.com/aKMKxThhSG

— WWE (@WWE) September 22, 2020

Straight-up POWER from MACE and T-BAR.#WWERaw #RETRIBUTION pic.twitter.com/WTSZdYyweK

— WWE (@WWE) September 22, 2020

There was absolutely NOTHING I loved about RAW this week. So utterly disappointed in how the go-home show before Clash of Champions was laid out. From the start of the show where it’s announced that RETRIBUTION has contracts to their ridiculous names (T-BAR, Mace & Slapjack) and masks (childish!) to the cluster of a chaos #!* that was the main event, it has now set up RETRIBUTION for utter failure! The five main members of Dominki Dijokovic, Dio Maddin, Shane Thorne, Mia Yim and Mercedes Martinez has been undercut and has little or no chance to survive without a major happening at Clash. How do they have credibility when they called out WWE superstars for their contracts and greed and then they agree to a WWE contract? Ridiculous! How do they have any credibility when they can’t even take on the Hurt Business to get a victory in their first match? Absurd! Can you imagine the NWO or Hall/Nash not going over at Bash at the Beach?

"@reymysterio … you are NOT THE FATHER!" – @WWERollins

#WWERaw pic.twitter.com/YBaQf6831a

— WWE (@WWE) September 22, 2020

Seth Rollins dragging up a redux of the Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio feud from the past with news that maybe Rey’s not the father of Dominik is tired, old rehash. Then, Rollins send his wrath towards daughter Aalyah. The writing is on the wall my friends, Aalyah will be a minion with the Monday Night Messiah before we know it.

A fired-up @RandyOrton is READY to face @DMcIntyreWWE in an #AmbulanceMatch at #WWEClash of Champions THIS SUNDAY for the #WWEChampionship!#WWERaw pic.twitter.com/HrfM44973M

— WWE (@WWE) September 22, 2020

Elsewhere, Drew McIntyre vs. Keith Lee has been a utter waste of time as a backdrop for Randy Orton, who continues to be doing some of his best work of his 20-year career. That promo, including a nice catch of himself, was spot-on. I like him going over this Sunday!

What a HUGE victory for @BraunStrowman in #RawUnderground!#WWERaw pic.twitter.com/S4Bj3evqMn

— WWE (@WWE) September 22, 2020

RAW Underground had its moments with Braun Strowman having a good night and even Dolph Ziggler getting a victory. The right team, Andrade & Angel Garza got the tag team title match against The Street Profits Sunday night.

All in all, not an enjoyable night for me for RAW. A ton of wasteful opportunities.

NXT

RESULTS

NXT Women’s Championship #1 Contender Battle Royale: Candice LeRae wins shot at Io Shirai at NXT: TakeOver

Tommaso Ciampa defeated Jake Atlas

Danny Burch & Roderick Strong defeated Fabian Aichner & Raul Mendoza to win a spot in #1 Contender Match for NXT Tag Team Championship

Non-title NXT North American Championship Match: Damian Priest defeated Austin Theory

Ridge Holland defeated Antonio DeLuca

Gauntlet Eliminator Match: Kyle O’Reilly defeated Bronson Reed, Kushida, Cameron Grimes & Timothy Thatcher to win shot at NXT Championship

Best show of the week!

G O L D E N P R O P H E C Y The winner of the AMAZING 'Gauntlet Eliminator' and challenging @FinnBalor at #NXTTakeOver is @KORcombat! #WWENXT pic.twitter.com/C4fcbLvrYJ

— WWE on FOX (@WWEonFOX) September 24, 2020

Kudos to Kyle O’Reilly. i don’t think anyone saw him running the table and winning the Gauntlet Eliminator Match. Plus, let’s be honest, no one saw him being in the match to begin with. But, having said that, while the five-man match lacked star firepower, the match itself was very good. I, personally, saw KUSHIDA going over but it’s nice to see O’Reilly got his day in the sun vs. Finn Balor at NXT:TakeOver. It’ll be an enjoyable match with a predictable outcome. Time will tell just how much COVID-19 affected the booking here and who was available, but NXT, as usual, made the best of a bad situation.

We see you, @KacyCatanzaro!

CC: @TrueKofi @NaomiWWE @TheRealMorrison #WWENXT #BattleRoyal pic.twitter.com/Rz49y8gOco

— WWE (@WWE) September 24, 2020

The Women’s Battle Royale for a shot at the NXT Women’s Championship was entertaining as hell! Yes, I”m a Kacy Catanzaro mark, so it was fun to see her make the final four with all the fancy footwork and antics that should make her an annual entrant into the Royal Rumble. Having Candice LeRae go over to win it to makes absolute sense! Now, with LeRae having a title match at NXT:TakeOver and husband Johnny Gargano ready to face Damian Priest for the NXT North American Championship has the makings of a double-gold night for the Gargano Way. Maybe we’ll get an Edge/Lita type celebration.

What a supportive husband.

#CoupleGoals #WWENXT #BattleRoyal @CandiceLeRae @JohnnyGargano pic.twitter.com/83CsVcET8z

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) September 24, 2020

Squash matches for Tommaso Ciampa and Ridge Holland made sense. Plus, having Fandango make an interesting #1 Contender match of his own for the tag team titles was out of nowhere, but was needed with the unavailable superstars.

The TakeOver is theirs… but 𝘸𝘩𝘰 are they?

#WWENXT pic.twitter.com/KaAy6QABtM

— WWE (@WWE) September 24, 2020

Who is they? What former NXT Champion is the Insurgent coming back at NXT:TakeOver? Is it Bobby Roode, Bo Dallas, Ember Moon

SMACKDOWN

RESULTS

Triple Threat Match: Sami Zayn defeated AJ Styles & Jeff Hardy

Shinsuke Nakamura defeated Gran Metalik

King Corbin defeated Matt Riddle

Lacey Evans defeated Alexa Bliss by DQ

LOVED IT:

"Uce vs. Uce. Cuz vs. Cuz." THIS SUNDAY at #WWEClash of Champions! #SmackDown Jey @WWEUsos @WWERomanReigns @HeymanHustle pic.twitter.com/ipUCRebFQj

— WWE (@WWE) September 26, 2020

"You're gonna take the payday. You're gonna take the ass whooping that comes with it but you will NEVER take my title." – @WWERomanReigns /w @HeymanHustle to Jey @WWEUsos #SmackDown pic.twitter.com/Tt2M1kNY4R

— WWE on FOX (@WWEonFOX) September 26, 2020

Family affair – Roman Reigns being blunt that “It will never be you, because it will always be me” line was killer. But, Jey Uso’s reaction, with emotion and desparation was fantastic. I’m invested! Short, sweet and no in-ring fisticuffs. And then, one Superman punch and the tonuge-lashing from the Universal Champion. When Reigns said he’ll feed my family with this title and told Uso that he should take the payday and the ass-whooping, he’s not far from the truth. The most impactful 3:00 of Friday night.

#SmackDown pic.twitter.com/uk3Bl9SYwl

— WWE on FOX (@WWEonFOX) September 26, 2020

Alexa Bliss – First off, the match with Lacey Evans was very good. Secondly, the addition of The Fiend’s red lighting causing Bliss to absolutely lose control was fitting. Then, the look from Bliss to Roman Reigns on the ramp was the cherry on the SmackDown sundae. Delicious!

Wasted effort:

LHP feud – We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, NO ONE wants to see a feud between the members of the Lucha House Party. Wasting it while in the midst of a tag team championship squirmish with Cesaro & Shinsuke Nakamura is just a pure waste of everyone’s time.

Otis vs. The Miz – Really not feeling the lawsuit vibe here at all. I’d rather see either team in the mix for the tag team championships.

Good stuff:

Matt Riddle – Every time he’s in the ring, this time in a losing Payback rematch against King Corbin, Riddle doesn’t disappoint. He’s on the rise and good things are ahead for the Bro Show.

A sign of things to come this Sunday at #WWEClash of Champions?? #ICTitle@SamiZayn picks up the win on #SmackDown! pic.twitter.com/rWKXRkRynY

— WWE (@WWE) September 26, 2020

Triple Threat IC – While I’m not a fan of having the same 3 guys face off in a match two days before a PPV, Sami Zayn and AJ Styles put their best foot forward for Sunday’s Intercontinental Title Ladder Match at Clash of Champions. It makes me thing Jeff Hardy and his new contract will walk away with all the gold!

𝒰𝒩𝒯𝒪𝒰𝒞𝐻𝒜𝐵𝐿𝐸.

The mystery continues… #SmackDown pic.twitter.com/W4MZjonauD

— WWE (@WWE) September 26, 2020

Untouchable – So, if reports are true that it’s really Carmella and her tattoo in these vignettes, it’s not a bad thing. I just wonder if they give reality to her relationship with Corey Graves too. BTW, I didn’t think anyone still owned a polaroid camera these days!

Bayley – As usual. Solid and getting better on the mic. Can’t wait for the Sasha feud to go full blown.

Parting shots:

#RIPAnimal.

#SmackDown pic.twitter.com/Dwt2U6z1AZ

— WWE (@WWE) September 26, 2020

RIP John Laurinaitis – Road Warrior Animal passed away much too young this week at age 60. The Road Warriors, Hawk and Animal, changed the sport and tag team wrestling forever. Long live the Road Warrior pop!

Clash of Champions – Predictions

WWE Championship Ambulance Match: Randy Orton defeats Drew McIntyre to win title

WWE Universal Championship Match: Roman Reigns defeats Jey Uso

SmackDown Women’s Championship Match: Nikki Cross defeats Bayley (thanks to Sasha Banks) to win title – Alexa Bliss comes out to congratulate her and gives her a Sister Abigail

WWE Women’s Championship Match: Shayna Baszler and Nia Jax defeats The Riott Squad to retain title

Smackdown Tag Team Championship Match: Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura defeats Lucha House Party to retain title

RAW Tag Team Championship Match: The Street Profits defeats Angel Garza and Andrade to retain title

WWE Undisputed Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match: Jeff Hardy defeats AJ Styles & Sami Zayn to win undisputed title

WWE United States Championship Match: Bobby Lashley defeats Apollo Crews to retain title

RAW Women’s Championship Kickoff Show Match: Asuka defeats Zelina Vega to retain title

Coming up this week:

RAW: Clash of Champions Fallout

NXT: Shawn Michaels hosts face-off between Finn Balor and Kyle O’Reilly Shotzi Blackheart vs. Dakota Kai

SMACKDOWN: Clash of Champions Fallout

Thanks for letting us share our thoughts! Shoot me an email at jcrowe567@gmail.com. We’d love to hear your comments and suggestions! You can also check out my blog, The Crowe’s Nest as we delve into more pro wrestling, sports entertainment and the World of Sports. My apologies ahead of time – I AM a Patriots, Red Sox, Celtics and Bruins fan! If you’re not down with that, I’ve got TWO WORDS for you… NEW ENGLAND