#GOT HER ON MY FIRST 10 PULL‚ 15TH OVERALL

[xfadingstarx]

A Bleach Retrospective: In defense of Bleach

These are opinions, please respect that.

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My Journey with Bleach (please skip if you want to go straight to the analysis):

On September the 8th, 2006 YTV’s weekend evening anime programming block (Bionix) aired the first episode of Bleach. I, unfortunately, did not catch this episode, instead, I caught the second episode on September 15th the following week. I was ten and from then on, Bleach fascinated me. It had an interesting concept, tight pacing, catchy music, a good story, and unique character designs. I also really enjoyed how Bleach lacked the same kind of emotional labour that Naruto demanded (as child who survived off of constantly seeking validation from others because of absentee parents, Naruto is way too much work).

My fascination with Bleach got me started in the fandom communities of yesteryear, for I was a child with zero internet supervision. My introduction to fanfiction was because I loved Hitsugaya Toshiro.

Bleach was my entry into poetry (poem at the start of every volume).

But alas, all good things were not meant to last and by the summer of 2009, I was officially done with Bleach. It had felt stilted for some time before then. Over the years, I would gradually revisit bits and pieces of Bleach, but I would not read it in its entirety until months after its finish, about a decade after I had first saw Bleach on my TV. Between the time I stopped reading and the series ended, I became friends with people who didn’t think highly of Bleach and I also started seeing criticism I had made about Bleach in 2011 being repeated by fans on the internet, I started to think that maybe Bleach was bad, but I knew what bad writing looked like —I started reading fanfiction through Bleach fanfiction AMVs on YouTube — and somehow Bleach didn’t sit right with me in the “bad writing category”. 

I sit back now, a decade and ahalf later from when I first started and ask, “was Bleach really that bad, and if so, why do I keep coming back to it?”

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What Made Bleach So Good?

Unique story and aesthetics: When Bleach first started in 2001, it was one of the first manga series to talk about souls and death in a poetic way and with such coherence. Bleach clearly knew what it wanted to say about life and death. It also had a very unique aesthetic, very similar to that of “The World Ends With You” or “Persona 5″ — an urban Japanese take on R&B kind of vibe. Also, Bleach had the most “realistic” and minimalist art style amongst the Big 3.

Cool Music: Bleach had cool music, from very solid rock’n’roll and R&B style songs in its OPs and EDs to very funky OST music with lots of pizzazz. Many singers feature by Bleach ended up successful (to varying degrees) outside of anime, eg: Orange Range, UVERworld, YUI, sid, etc.

Versatile tone: Bleach was edgy, there’s no doubt about that. It was willing to show a lot of blood and bodily violence, especially in the manga (eg half of people blowing up and bits of bone still attached). Despite this though, it was not pretentious about its edginess — it didn’t revel in it. To contrast the edginess, there is a lot of humour in Bleach with character interactions. It was able to be laid back enough with its strong characters that it would rely on the characters’ relationships for comedic relief. The post-credit skits and the fillers really helped to add to this overall feel as well.

Maturity of the Story: Bleach was very willing to handle topics that made people think. For example, the Ulquiorra - Orihime subarc was treated with a sense of carefulness about it, as if to reflect Ulquiorra’s own cautious curiosity about the heart. A less emotionally mature story would’ve gone for the cheap rape/torture porn, but instead we are treated to determined strong Orihime, who has found strength through the heart after the death of her brother, clashing with the nihilistic hollow who wants to know if there is happiness outside of emptiness. It’s a very loaded question and one that requires both perspective and life experience to fully understand both parties. As well, Bleach always knew what it wanted to say about life and death as the final conflict of Bleach is between Ichigo, who has accepted his transient life and Yhwach, who is scared of death. And ultimately, underneath all that action, Bleach produced takes on its themes that were hard to relate to unless the reader themselves had a certain level of emotional maturity (eg: 12 year old me got nothing out of the Ulqui-Ori arc, but 20 year old me spent a good 10 mins crying after)

Strong characters: Contrary to popular belief, Bleach does have quite solid characterization. In fact, Bleach is the journey of Ichigo as a character, from grappling with his weakness and pain to finally accepting all the parts of himself and his history in order to defeat Yhwach and protect those he cares about. Even the secondary characters of Bleach receive a sizable amount of backstory and/or development. Bleach also managed to have more proactive female characters. Even the damsel in distress Orihime stands up to Ulquiorra and slaps him. As a result of these strong characters, Bleach was able to rely on them and their relationships to drive aspects of the story (eg Ichigo crying in the Fullbringer arc).

Willingness to Deal with Emotion: Given that Ichigo is an internally motivated character, it was obvious Bleach would deal with emotion at some point in time. Making Ichigo just a normal high school boy also relives the previous edginess. Bleach also clearly too the time to make its readers feel in its early years. We are treated to beautiful panelling and very real displays of strong negative emotions. Bleach is also very good at giving its characters room to breathe and be sad. Eg: moping Orihime, moping Ichigo, etc. As well, Kubo went to extraordinary lengths to break Ichigo down during the Fullbringers Arc.

Interesting Character Designs: Every character in Bleach feels vibrant and unique with their personality showing through in their designs. For example: Shunshi’s sloppily tied up hair, visible stubble, and overcoat-hidden-haori show that he is both easy going and not looking for a fight; meanwhile Byakuya’s neatly pulled back hair and neck covered by scarf show that he is both someone who likes structure and is conservative.

Poetry and Symbolism: Kubo manages to weave poetry into Bleach in the beginning of each volume. The poem was said by the character on the volume. It gave the reader insight to this character and it gave Kubo a chance to flex his poetic chops. Further proof of this is the fact that many people don’t realize that the name “Bleach” refers to the bleaching of soul that is key to the story. Kubo loves to use rain to set sad scenes. It rains when Ichigo fights Grand Fisher, Zangetsu tells Ichigo that he hates the rain, etc. Kubo also specifies that he wishes for the reader to read certain volumes on stormy, rainy nights.

Panelling: Many people like to criticize Kubo for the lack of effort with the Bleach manga, but Kubo has stated that he uses negative space (i.e., foregoing backgrounds) to focus more on his character’s expressions. This not only further proves that Bleach cares a lot about its characters, but it’s done well enough that the average reader likely doesn’t notice the lack of background on the first read through. As well, Bleach has very cinematic panelling. Kubo uses the format of manga well, utilizing the human mind’s ability to fill blanks in with clever panelling to create tone and build tension and the feeling of movement through a scene.

In fact, in finding pages for this analysis, I found myself noticing that Bleach panels very similarly to slice-of-life shoujo but with a boy MC manga like "Horimiya": focus on expression through intimate angles and use of panels and breaks to create mood and the feeling of cinema; whereas something like DBZ panels like a shounen action manga with many hard lines and action shots, instead of a focus on subtle details and emotions.

Some Examples:

Notice now in Chapter 197: The approaching danger, Kubo uses a gradual zoom to build tension and the black background to add intensity and signal to the reader that Hitsugaya is relaying important information.

Here in Chapter 234: Not Negotiation, the immediate close up to Ulquiorra’s eye from the full body shots creates a sense of intimidation and unease with its sudden intimacy. As well, the immediate zoom in from Ulquiorra’s side full body shot to his facial profile creates tension and the change from the dark background to the white face with Orihime releases this tension (very fitting with considering the line for this panel is “but not you”). (This scene also ties into Ulquiorra’s central dogma of “that which is not reflected in my eyes does not exist’.)

Again in the same chapter, this gradual zoom in on the two creates tension that is then release in the next panel and summarily cements Ulquiorra as a terrifying BAMF.

In Chapter 262: Unblendable, Kubo uses the negative space to create a feeling of isolation, similar to how Orihime is supposed to be feeling.

In the same chapter, notice how Kubo creates a sense of intimacy (not in the romance sense) with the relationship of Ulquiorra and Orihime. He creates tension gradually with the zooming into Orihime’s eye and releases it with the zoom out to Ulquiorra. Through this scene, Kubo has shown us that Ulquiorra and Orihime have a tense relationship and with the implication of eye contact through the shots and panel breaks creating both the intimacy and showing Orihime’s defiance.

(Interestingly, I’ve noticed that Ulquiorra and Orihime have a lot of these intimate zoom shot-reverse-shot eye panels)

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What are the Bad Parts of Bleach?

Okay, so by now, you’re probably thinking that I’m ignoring the massive amounts of critique that Bleach gets and don’t get me wrong, while Bleach does have a very special place in my heart, I’m also not maudlin enough to pretend that Bleach was all good.

Pacing:

Pacing in the First Half of Bleach (Karakura Town - Arrancar)

When Bleach first started out the pacing was excellent. Kubo showed great mastery of pace to control the tone and highlight the emotions throughout the first two arcs. Mid-way through the Arrancar arc, the fatigue sets in and it was hard to keep up with, especially since Kubo would interrupt one exciting fight set up to go set up more plot elsewhere (eg Fake Karakura town right as Ichigo and Ulquiorra were about to battle). Whilst looking back and reading it all at once does help with the pacing, it was frustrating if you were reading/watching on a weekly basis.

Pacing in the Anime:

I don’t ascribe to a simplistic belief of “fillers bad” simply because I think that sometimes fillers can be a good thing, for example, since every chapter is ~15-20pp, some character interactions have to be cut for the sake for space, so filler is a great opportunity to add those moments back into your story. For example, a lot of early Bleach fillers are just the people of Karakura town just hanging out. That being said, Bleach does have an unfortunate amount of fillers, with some of them even interrupting tense fights (eg the Beast Sword Arc interrupts Ichigo’s battle with Ulquiorra). However, the padding that the fillers provided did wonders for the transition between Soul Society to Arrancar Arc in the anime. Ultimately, the Bleach anime adaption was a long-running anime made for syndication and that’s okay.

******* Brief Aside: many people like(d?) to point out that Bleach has a very cyclical plot structure. I used to think this way too; however, this is not the case. There are many other long running stories that repeat similar goals. The problem lies not in the idea, but the execution. The main complaint about the Orihime rescue was not that it was uninteresting, but instead that it felt a rehash of the plot of the previous arc. This is largely because the story was not given enough time to breath between similar character arcs. For example, in One Piece, Luffy and Co have to save Nami and by extension, her home village so she can join them; however, the next time a Straw Hat needs to be saved is 227 chapters (2 whole story arcs) later. In between saving Rukia and Orihime, there is only a really an arrancar encounter, a bit of training, cheering up Ichigo, and a Grimmjow encounter before Orihime goes with Ulquiorra, thus making the goal of this arc “save Orihime” in only ~59 chapters vs 227. These two similar arc goals so close to each other does indeed create the sense of repetition.

Pacing from Fullbringer to End:

This is where Bleach really lost a lot of people. If you weren’t gone after the Ulquiorra fight, you probably were by this arc.This arc went at breakneck speed, and ngl, during my first full read through I almost gave up here too. I mention earlier that Ichigo had been broken down in this arc, but it was hard to feel his despair and the weight on his shoulders because there wasn’t enough for the reader to take a beat and breathe. The Thousand Year Blood War, similarly suffered from sloppy pacing, with many readers feeling like story lines of Squad 0 and the Soul King were anti-climactic. As well, this arc started with a massacre and feature the deaths of many fan-favourite characters, and unfortunately due to the pacing, their deaths were not given a sense of gravity.

Missed Opportunities and Forgotten Story lines: Many people felt that Kubo forgot about a lot of his characters after the Aizen arc. Many thought the Fullbringer Arc was going to be a Chad/Orihime Arc. Whatever happened to Uryuu lolol? We all just collectively forgot about him for a large portion of the last half of Bleach. At one point in time, there was a rumour going around that Kubo had written out the story for Bleach and lost it. Idk if there is any credibility to it. However, in a 2017 interview, Kubo did say that he did end the series exactly the way he wanted to.

(If anyone wants to see me write an entire ass text post about Orihime and her treatment in Bleach, please let me know because I will do it)

Too mature:Even though above, I praised Bleach's mature handle on its themes, an unfortunate side effect of this is forgetting that the characters are only 15 at the beginning and for the first half of Bleach. This unfortunately, leads to some readers feeling disconnected from Bleach.

Epilogue: THE DESTROYER OF SHIPS!!! A lot of people hated this ending. Many people felt like the romance was shoe-horned in, others didn’t like the pairings, and there were some people who actually liked it. Personally, I didn’t like it too much, but it was a cute conclusion nonetheless. Since it didn't add anything to the story except for a "where are they now" look and because of that, I low-key felt like it was unnecessary, but w/e.

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Perspective

Making a long-running weekly serialized story is hard and doing it for 15 years is gruelling (obligatory “fuck capitalism” here). Like many artists of long-running manga, Kubo destroyed his health for the sake of publishing Bleach weekly. Kubo on his health after Bleach (photo from AshitanoGin on Twitter):

Given this insight, I think it’s only fair to be respectful and grateful for Kubo’s contribution to the anime-sphere. Also, through his work, Kubo seems to be a very understanding person and artist. I’m sure he knows better than anyone where Bleach went wrong, but there’s nothing that can be done now. Despite him having a twitter, he is not Joanne and doesn’t feel the need to constantly hemorrhage out word of god info about Bleach (and thank god for that).

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Final Thoughts

It’s hard to forget my happy memories when I think about Bleach. It had my first adolescent crush and first OTP. As a result, I think the best way to enjoy Bleach is to take what you want out of it. People always think that something has to be 100% without flaw for it to be good, but that is not true at all. It is totally okay to just like the parts that you like without engaging with anything else. It’s special to you for a reason, you know? 

There’s no use in fretting over what Bleach could’ve been, besides, very rarely is the reality better than the fantasy in your head.

I do think though that a lot of Kubo’s issues could’ve been fixed if he planned the story better but not all of us can be “I've been planning One Piece since elementary school” Oda Eiichiro.

Other voices on this issue: here

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Wow. I can’t believe you made it this far down. Congratulations! Thanks for reading my 2:30am non-sober take on Bleach (it only took me 7 hours to write). Here's a cookie <3

[headfullofstories]

Truly Monstrous Luck - part 4

After half an hour or so of sitting alone in the dark, I decide to go out and explore some more. I put my journal in my backpack and fish out my binder, taking off my shirt quickly to slip it on over my head before throwing the shirt back on. I decide to leave my bag here, lock my room behind me and walk as quietly as I can down the hall of rooms. There are a few other people milling about, most walking the opposite direction, most of them giving me odd looks as I pass by. I keep my head down and let my feet carry me through the winding corridors. 

Eventually I find myself back in the greenhouse, moonlight spilling in through the glass ceiling, shifting and shimmering through a layer of water blocking this place from the rest of the world - is this Turtle Pond? Or some other body of water?

The butterflies are all asleep, but now lightning bugs populate the air. They hover in the air effortlessly, tiny stars filling the great big space of the greenhouse. They start to float around me as I walk in and take a spot over by a pond full of lily pads and lotus blossoms. I sit there for a few minutes, examining the greenery floating on the water, when I hear a voice behind me say, “Damn, I’m usually the only one in here this early.”

I jump several feet to the side, turning to see who just spoke. A girl with moss in her hair and piercing orange eyes stands in the doorway. She walks over to me, and I see that her feet are bare and covered in vines and greenery, decked out in dirt covered overalls and a light blue t-shirt. She studies my face for a moment, crouching down so we’re eye to eye. My breathing is shaky and erratic as I try my best to calm myself down and slow my heart rate down. Her eyes narrow as she takes in all of the details of my face. I chew on my lower lip nervously, hoping to ground myself a little more. After looking at my face for about 10 seconds, her eyes wander down towards my neck and land on the bite mark imprinted in my skin. As soon as I register this, my hand flies up to cover the mark as her eyes widen. 

“You’re a new vampire.” She remarks. “Been almost a year since we’ve had one of you here.”

I give a shaky nod and slowly uncover the bite mark again, sitting up straight as she backs away. “I’ve had a really bad 24 hours.” I mutter as I begin to fidget, hitting the heels of my hands together. “Being in here has made me feel a lot better. I was in here earlier and I ended up getting covered in butterflies.”

She gives a slow nod. “Well, if the insects all like you this much, I guess I can trust you.” She reaches out a hand, “my name is Calla. Resident dryad.”

I grab her hand, which is rough and covered in calluses. “I’m Victor.”

“Well, Victor, do you have any interest in magic?”

“Magic?” I echo, and all of the air is suddenly pulled from my lungs. “What… what kind?”

“Depends on where you get your magic from.” She responds. “You seem to have a real affinity for nature, have you ever had any interest in druidic magics?”

“C-can I even… channel nature magic? I’m not… alive anymore.” I ask, fidgeting getting slowly worse. “Do you need to be alive to use life magic?”

She thinks about it for a moment, shifting to a sitting position. “I don’t think so. I’ve never met a druidic vampire, but you seem to have a strong connection with this place.”

I manage to largely control the fidgeting, but my eyes wander to the lightning bugs floating in the air. “I think… I’d like that.”

“Great!” She smiles, “You probably have stuff going on today, being new and all, but I’m here most nights if you want to talk.”

I give her a thumbs up, then get up and start to walk around looking at all of the different planter boxes. 

As morning light starts creeping through the glass ceiling, an hour or so after the lightning bugs have settled back into their hiding places, and Calla has located herself up at the top of a cherry tree and is currently browsing her phone, Arthur ducks his head in through the doorway. 

“Hey Victor, you free?” He inquires, “Yvonne said you were probably in here.”

I nod and pull myself to my feet. I turn and wave good-bye to Calla, who gives me a 2 finger salute in return, then run over to where Arthur is waiting in the doorway.

“No backpack?” He asks, and I shake my head.

“No, I came down here at 3AM. Didn’t think I’d need it.”

“Jesus kid, did you even sleep last night? You still need to sleep, yknow.”

“Yeah, I fell asleep at like, 7:30 or something yesterday.” I assure him. “I woke up at 2:30 and got restless after a little bit.”

“Thats… actually more sleep than I usually get. Good job, kid.” He remarks, lightly patting me on the head a couple of times. I smile at that.

We set off down a new set of hallways, away from where I’ve mainly been until now. There are more people down this way, and most of them don’t even bat an eye when they see me. I’m glad that they’re not staring like everyone else I’ve met so far, but the number of people in the enclosed space of the hallway makes me a little nervous. Most of the people are a lot taller than me, too, and some of them look like they could snap me in half like a twig. I stay close behind Arthur, trying to take up as little space as possible. 

We walk for a few minutes, the floor slowly sloping upward, before stopping in front of a room labelled “Office.” We walk in and Arthur gestures for me to stay put by the door as he goes up to talk to a man with ram’s horns and lavender eyes sitting at a messy wooden desk. They talk for a moment before Arthur turns, waves me over, and starts down a short hallway going deeper into the office. The layout of this area reminds me of the offices at all of my old schools, and I don’t know if I like that… at all.

“You good?” Arthur asks, turning around to face me. I shift in place for a moment, before looking at him and giving him an uneasy shrug. 

“This place has the same layout as my old school offices.” I mutter. “It’s making me a little nervous.”

He nods sympathetically. “This place is a lot better than a school office. They actually care about you here, and the lady who schedules all of the gender confirmation surgeries has her office in here.”

My eyes go wide. “We-we’re already scheduling that?” I gasp, starting to hit the heels of my hands together excitedly. 

“Well, why would we put it off if we could schedule it now?” He smiles. “Besides, the faster we get this scheduled, the earlier your appointment will be, and the less likely you’ll be to fuck up your ribs by binding too long.”

I might actually start crying right now. My vision goes out of focus for a moment, and I start bouncing on the balls of my feet. 

“Uh, kid?” He asks, a nervous lilt to his voice. 

I look straight into his eyes, smile creeping across my face. “I’m just… so fucking excited about this.”

His expression softens, and he gives me a nod. “Being a vampire kinda sucks ass. Dysphoria sucks even more ass. There’s no cure for vampirism, but if you get rid of the parts of you that make you dysphoric, it makes immortality a little more bearable.” 

We stand out in the hallway for a few minutes before a woman pokes her head out of the office in front of us. Her eyes are the color of fire and her ears are long and pointed. She has long white hair and pale skin - not vampire pale, but pale enough to be odd.

“Arthur, good to see you.” She says in an unnervingly calm voice, then looks over to me and smiles. “Who is this young man?”

“This is Victor. He’s new.” He sighs. “We’re looking at getting him in with the top surgeon over at Moonlight.”

“Excellent!” She exclaims, “Why don’t you come in and sit down?”

Arthur heads in first and I follow close behind him, nervous of this new person; she gives me really bad vibes. 

The office is clean and smells like rubbing alcohol; it makes my head hurt a little. There’s a pair of cushioned wooden chairs on one side and a spinning desk chair on the other. Everything is organized - the macbook, paperclip box, and pencil container sitting on the desk look like they were aligned with the edge of the desk with a right-angle ruler, and the mesh waste paper bin is empty. The entire energy of the room makes me deeply uncomfortable.

 As soon as I sit down I pull my legs up into a criss-cross, and the woman grimaces a little, though she says nothing. I start tapping my fingers against my legs, and I have a hard time focusing on any one thing in the room.

The woman clears her throat as she begins to talk, "So, Victor, you're interested in top surgery?"

My focus snaps to her immediately and I nod my head vigorously. "Very much so. The… thought alone of people seeing my chest makes me nauseous and just… having them makes me really uncomfortable."

She nods, and opens up her laptop. "And… how old are you?"

"Twenty."

"Do you have any legal documents? An ID?"

I shake my head. "My wallet got stolen yesterday, and I didn't have a driver's license or a social security or health insurance card or anything like that anyways."

"And that answers my third question." She mutters as she types. "And… you are a vampire, correct? When were you turned?"

"Yesterday." I mutter, "at 10:30AM or so, I think."

She continues to type for a few more moments, then starts to mutter under her breath before speaking again. 

"Okay, Victor, the soonest appointment I see here is September 15th. Does that work for you?"

My eyes go wide. "That's… that's only 3 months away."

She nods, and repeats the question. "Does that day work for you?"

I nod vigorously again. "I don't have any prior obligations anymore."

"Excellent!" She smiles, types a little more, and closes her laptop again. "Victor, you are all sorted. It was good to see you again, Arthur. Make sure you're remembering to take care of yourself."

"I will." He sighs, and stands up. "Well, if that's all, Victor, you were going to see your brother today if I remember correctly."

I nod, and quickly get up to follow him as he heads out the door. 

"That was Eleanor." He says once we leave. "She takes care of all of the medical expenses and legal stuff around that.”

“I don’t really like her.” I remark. “She reminds me of the therapist my parents sent me to when I was 14. She said I was a crazy little girl and that I’d never be able to function at a normal capacity, but refused to give me any diagnoses.”

He gives a sympathetic nod. “Well, Eleanor’s really nice - she takes a little while to warm up to new people, but she’s a good person.”

“That’s nice to know.” I mutter. “I just hope I don’t end up being an exception to that niceness. That happens to me a lot.”

He lets out a deep sigh at that. “Some people just attract misfortune. And it fucking sucks when you’re one of those people.”

“There are people that have it a lot worse than me.” I argue. “I had a perfectly fine life and the access, money, and ability to take testosterone and wear a binder.”

“Kid, yesterday you were unemployed, homeless, and had no money, not to mention that you were effectively murdered.” He points out. “That sounds fucking horrible, and your suffering shouldn’t be discounted because other people ‘have it worse’ than you.”

“I wasn’t homeless. I got evicted, but I could’ve just stayed with my brother. And I called my bank to cancel the card that got stolen, so technically I’m not broke, I just… don’t have access to my money right now.”

“I don’t care how much you try to belittle your struggles, Victor, I’m not changing my mind.”

“I… well, you’re not changing my mind, either.” I grumble.

“We’ll see.” He mutters. “I can be very persuasive.”

[dgcatanisiri]

The key to any good adaption is understanding a certain set of things.

1. Don’t be afraid to update the source material. Yes, even if it’s “timeless.”

All media is a product of its time, so you need to recognize that what worked for the original will not necessarily translate for the new audience. If a basic conceit of your product is a certain societal mindset is the norm (just, for example, that “homosexuality is inherently bad,” or “transgender people are inherently hilarious,” or “a woman’s place is unquestionably in the home”), you’re probably best off just packing it in then and there, it’s not going to work. Society evolves, times change, and while we can let these things slide for media that is older, we do not extend this same slack to media made now.

There’s a reason that a lot of stagings of something like Taming of the Shrew, or more modern adaptations like Kiss Me Kate or 10 Things I Hate About You, will often twist what is, on the page, Kate’s “tameness” being a show for the sake of winning the wager, that she is merely performing what is expected of her, while still maintaining her own independence and attitude, and that she has learned that she could use this performance to make Petruchio do as she wanted, or even that the both of them are in on it and have found an equal in the other - in the 15th century, “taming” a “shrew” was considered how one was supposed to be, that a woman was supposed to be subservient to her husband, and that her being so brash and bold from the start was already pushing the values of Shakespeare’s original audience. 

And this is the case of adapting something even as recent as ten, fifteen, twenty years ago - society has changed, and it’s recognized that what was seen as acceptable then was actually punching down at marginalized groups. That’s not funny. Comedy is the quickest genre to age, and the most likely to age poorly. Look at any given 90s romcom and you’ll notice a LOT of issues - the heteronormativity, where no one is gay (aside from MAYBE a single token character), the cast is mostly white - there may, at most, be a black best friend who may or may not be paired up with someone who literally exists for the purpose of arm candy, and you might spot an extra or two in the background, and they’ll use words that we now recognize as slurs so casually you’ll have to go back to realize yeah, they actually said that. And that’s not even scratching the surface.

When it comes to coming to an old piece of media and deciding “I want to do this again,” you absolutely MUST recognize what is no longer acceptable. And if the baseline concept of your selected media is something unacceptable, put aside the dream, this will not end well for you if you attempt to go through with it.

2. Recognize what works and what doesn’t for your medium.

This is something more for straightforward adaptations - book to movie, movie to TV show, stage to screen, etc. A change in medium is going to require a change to the material. It just is. This is why, for example, straight adaptations of video games are extremely hard to pull off - you’re changing an interactive media to a noninteractive one, and, in a lot of cases, that guts the core investment. It’s one thing to play Lara Croft as she raids the tombs, doing the platforming and puzzle challenges yourself. But as a movie, just taking any given game and making a direct 1:1 reshoot, you’re basically just watching her do the same thing with no involvement yourself, and, as a result, you end up watching a glorified cutscene.

It’s the same with stage to screen. Theatre is a medium of its own, with its own internal logic, rules, and structure. In theatre, a character can address the audience, it’s accepted. It doesn’t quite work as well on screen. (For further expansion, there’s a segment of Lindsay Ellis’s video essay on Mel Brooks and The Ethics of Satire that discusses how this works for the stage version of The Producers, but fizzled out in the 2006 film adaptation.) This is often a problem in film adaptations of stage musicals, that the directors don’t know what to focus on or how to film a large group of people, dancing and singing, so, while there’s some general competence, a lot of the film directors don’t have the same eye for them that they would in a straightforward dialogue-driven movie. Stopping the dramatic interaction between two people for what is, in effect, a symbolic struggle as they exchange heated high notes throws off the momentum of a director who knows how to stage the actors and move the camera in a direct argument, but gets confused when both parties dance across the soundstage all through the scene.

Likewise, books allow the audience to understand what is going through a character’s head during a scene, we are able to hear their thoughts and recognize what they’re doing without the character ever speaking a word. That is a luxury film’s nature doesn’t offer. Voice overs are a frequent way around this, but that too is limiting, generally forcing the film into a single viewpoint, which may not be how the narrative was structured. So this is where establishing dialogue has to be included.

This can be a problem, though, as the screenwriter may have a different style than the original writer, so, instead of transplanting dialogue, they have to come up with their own words, which can often end up just being an exposition dump. It can be done, but it is a tightrope walk.

3. Understand what can and can’t be cut.

A frequent problem of adaptations, especially to film, is that they are drawing on source material that maybe be, in a direct, 1:1 adaptation of the original, too long for a modern adaptation. This is a frequent issue with the Harry Potter adaptations, for example, where to cover all of the events of just the first book, would probably have clocked in at three and a half, even four hours, and they only got longer from there. Some things just had to go.

Which is a problem, because for the most part, if something is in the source material, it is there for a reason. Foreshadowing, character establishment, worldbuilding, whatever, there is a reason that any content is included in the first place. 

So you need to find ways to either condense or work around things - going back to Harry Potter, as a character, while he’d had his uses in the books, Peeves’s contribution to the overall tapestry of the series was small enough that he could be removed. Same with a character like Professor Binns, whose largest contribution was the exposition of the Chamber of Secrets, could have that shunted over to a character like Professor McGonagall, with no need to hire another actor for one scene and account for this character later (this later came into play with characters like Professor Trelawney, who appeared in all the books after her introduction, but not every film). 

The runtime makes a difference, especially given how much we see movies try to have as many showing per day as they can - the shorter the film, the more times it can be shown. So you need to know what can go and what can be condensed. 

But this can backfire - cutting a scene can often remove important context and characterization, even if it’s short or small. Star Trek, the 09 film, cut a scene between young James Kirk and his older brother. Now, it’s not really that important in this adaptation that Kirk has an older brother, so on paper, yeah, this scene getting cut made sense. BUT this scene featured Kirk’s older brother walking out because of the abuse being inflicted on them by “Uncle Frank,” and how he intended to sell their father’s car, how Frank was denying James Kirk a sense of being who he was, telling him “You’re no one.” This is what leads to the reckless theft of said car that did make it into the final cut, and made that joyride less into a moment of “fuck the man, I do what I want,” and more of a moment of declaration of him trying to find himself (and makes this kid shouting to the robo-cop “My name is James Tiberius Kirk!” less of a cutesy way of getting in the character’s full name and more a way of, again, showing him declaring who he is.) It also shows James Kirk’s desire for justice and fairness for people, a VERY important element for this character, showing him standing up for his older brother, ostensibly someone who should be standing up for him instead. This is a pretty big characterization moment that got cut, presumably because the casual audience didn’t know that Kirk had an older brother.

I realize that this is using a cut scene from the film script and not a direct adaptation, but I think that’s an important thing to bring up anyway, given that Star Trek 09 was an adaptation of a three year TV series - of course they had to condense, launch arcs that successive movies could pick up, all of that. But they still needed to establish these characters. By cutting this scene, you lose that core nugget of Kirk’s character, and we’re left with reckless asshole Kirk, the character a lot of people thought didn’t deserve the center chair by the end of the movie because moments like this didn’t make the final cut.

Know your story, know your characters, and understand how to keep their core identities while still cutting the things you can’t keep, because of medium changes or runtime concerns.

4. What new elements are you bringing to the table?

If you’re making a new adaptation of something, WHY are you making it? What is the benefit of not just a new version of old material, but even what makes YOU the correct storyteller?

Let’s give another example here. Let’s say that I am given the green light to go for a new adaptation of... oh, let’s say Superman’s early years, we’re ten years out from the end of Smallville, surely someone’s gonna start kicking that around eventually, let’s go with it here and now. My requirements are to keep the baseline of Smallville for a new show - high school Clark Kent, no flights, no tights to start with, developing, growing powers, friendship with Lex Luthor, same core cast to start with (so Clark, Pete, Chloe, Lana, Whitney, Lex, Lionel, Martha, and Jonathan), basically start the series fresh from the point of the original series’s pilot. How I go from there is up to me, re: how much/how little to incorporate from later in the series, when powers develop and in what order, when to introduce other characters... I just basically have to start fresh with the same components of Smallville that the original had.

So when given these components, I feel it is my obligation to create a new picture with them, because to just retread the old material, updates to the time and cast notwithstanding, is saying I don’t see this as worth doing anything different. And if that’s the case, why bother? It is incumbent on me to do different things with these pieces - maybe in this version, Lana’s a lesbian and dating Chloe, which mostly puts to bed the Clark-Lana relationship (or maybe she briefly uses Clark as a beard to cover her attraction). Whitney can become a part of the core cast, instead of being like the only opening credits characters who never learns Clark’s secret. Pete’s known about Clark’s powers for years. The meteor freaks ...okay, no, I’m calling them ‘metahumans’ from the start here, are going to be a more persistent element to the central struggle - none of the convenient karmic killing, Clark has to deal with the consequences of these characters having enhanced abilities, not just have them conveniently fall down and break their neck or something. Lex ends up brought into the core group, and it becomes a central conflict of his character arc that he may actually have the potential to not be the ultimate villain - this is an adaptation, it’s entirely possible that Lex being the bad guy is NOT a foregone conclusion, especially if one wants to take the moral of “nothing is written in stone, there is no fate.”

...shit, now I actually WANT to do this version...

See, that’s taking the same pieces and making a new picture with them. Because if you’re just going to redo the original, just let the original air in place of your new thing, because you have made no effort to change anything other than the bare minimum. Hell, even Smallville brought something new to the table by creating Chloe Sullivan, who did not exist in Superman media before, but has since appeared sporadically in the comics. 

Don’t just tell the same old story to tell the same old story. Bring something new to the table. If you’re really lucky, you may just add something that becomes so definitive to the franchise, when people talk about it later, they’ll wonder why it wasn’t there to begin with - another DC hero example, look at Batman the Animated Series, without which we would not have either Harley Quinn or Victor Fries’s tragic backstory, yet now both are considered iconic and core to the franchise and the character, respectively.

[scoundrels-in-love]

LMIYD and Bo, analysis of an a-hole

After @strawwolf​ picked up cdrama Love Me If You Dare, I ended up thinking about the drama again and why I stopped somewhere around 15th episode. I do plan to finish it, I did not hate it. But why did it lose its appeal to me?

Mostly, I asked this question, because, you see, I love smart asshole trope. I won’t deny this. From some of my favorite mangas (Special A and Kaichou wa Maid-sama! - don’t judge me, I was early teens) to my favorite TV shows, most of them have this trope. And I take it every time - line, hook and sinker.

So, why not in Love Me If You Dare? (This may contain spoilers, to be honest, but I will try to minimized them.)

And as I thought, I started to realize some stark differences between Bo and male leads I love. Even in mangas, though I may not recall correctly as I have not been in touch with source material in about 8 to 10 years, while there is rivalry between male and female leads, it is usually instigated by the female. She fervently wants to beat the naturally talented male and through hard work, she also manages to, now and then.

Through hard work and his and their friend support. The thing is, the male lead may be stand-offish, cold, snappy and sometimes even drop a mean comment that hurts the female lead, but when it comes down to important things, he’ll support and believe in her. He will help out her crazy schemes and make them work, risking his position and sometimes health. Deep down, he admires her and loves her long before she realizes her feelings for him. He has his reasons for silence (like wanting to let her come to conclusions herself instead of rushing her feelings) and sometimes he sticks to them for too long, nearly losing her in the process, but ultimately, he will fall and rise for her, even in just a friend position.

My first TV show that I obsessed with was The Mentalist. It also gave me my first TV show OTP - Patrick Jane and Teresa Lisbon, called Jisbon. Granted, that was good 4 years ago now, and looking back, I can’t say I’d fall for Jisbon as fervently as I did, if I had been entirely grown up and exposed to some things as I am now. The show has its problems, the couple has its problems. But, most of the time, they are actually treated like problems. Not something that should be a part of healthy relationship.

Jane matches Bo in many ways - he’s traumatized, brilliant, emotionally closed off and seems to think himself to be better and smarter than anyone else, his partner and eventual love interest included. Lisbon and her team has to put up with his shit time and time again, risking her career. And after he is done with revenging his wife and young daughter, he disappears from their lives, leaving them to pick up shambles. Lisbon in particular, as it is no secret to anyone, him included, that she’s in love with him, and her work life suffers, too, - from CBI special agent and team leader, she becomes a small town cop.

What’s worse, after he is sought out by FBI, he comes back and practically demands she’s picked up to work with him, without any consent from her. One of the differences start here, though. Lisbon calls him out on his shit. She tells him he was and is awful (not for first time, too) and she is not his belonging to discard and take back in when he pleases. Yes, she accepts the job, but it’s because she’s obviously bored out of her mind in the small town, despite her insisting otherwise. (Old feelings aside.)

Where I am going with this, you ask? What I am trying to say is that Jane and Bo could be twins in some ways. But in others, they’re exact opposites. Jane may seem like he finds everyone else inferior, but in truth he knows he is not a really good man, he deeply hates himself for being indirect cause of his family’s death, and not only he believes doesn’t deserve happiness, he also thinks he cannot make Lisbon happy.

So, when the time comes back, he actually takes a step back and lets her pursue another relationship. It comes at worst timing because he’s actually trying to make himself a better person worthy of her, and to confess to her.

He also never actually thinks Lisbon is dumb. He recognizes her wit and intelligence on multiple occasions, admires her. That it’s no match for his nearly psychic abilities to read people is hardly no surprise - barely anyone is.

And when in desperation he falls back to his old manipulative ways, setting up perfect, fake case for her to solve as romantic getaway as last attempt to win her back, it blows up in his face. Big time. She sees right through it soon enough, calls him out on his bullshit and leaves, furious.

Yes, he steals a car, gets on a plane about to take off and confesses he loves her, tells her she was absolutely right in everything bad she told him and she doesn’t have to respond to his feelings, that she just deserves this moment of his vulnerability. Yes, she breaks off her hastily made engagement and gets together with Jane. Yes, it’s not unproblematic. And it’s not treated as such, essentially everyone is eyerolling about this and Lisbon’s ex-fiancee is obviously hurt and both Lisbon and Jane feel bad. Yes, they go through their ups and downs, Jane does his hermit-crab retreat and Lisbon reacts accordingly. But. THEY WORK THROUGH IT. They communicate.

My point is (yes we finally got to that):

Bo could have been genius asshole trope, but he jumped over the line and straight into absolute asshole territory. (This is based on my experience in 12 episodes and knowledge of the trashy novel it’s based on.)

He doesn’t actually respect Jenny as a person, doesn’t actually take her feelings in consideration. He draws on every stereotype of the handsome, traumatized, lonely genius who needs a woman to save him emotionally. And that feels like the only reason she falls for him. He’s a douche who patronizes her, disrespects her boundaries and never apologizes for it. Instead, she grows to love him for that, ‘because that’s just how he is’.

His confession is framed around how he is perfect for her and he proclaims she’s his girlfriend before she’s agreed, though she does meekly protest that. (I mean, overall the confession isn’t the worst I’ve seen, but still doesn’t sit entirely right with me.) Sometimes, Bo feels like worst demisexual rep ever, because no woman has stuck around in his close proximity before and he does grow to care for her, so, in some convoluted sense, he just realizes he’s a man and now he must have her. It is a lot more apparent in the novel, about the growth of their ‘feelings’. (And the author pulls a Virgin but Sex God ‘cause he read books card which, I feel, plays in author’s fantasy of how amazingly talented he is.)

What also bothers me is the lack of time they have? They become a couple with a month, three at tops. Previous couples, be it manga of the Mentalist, have years together. Latter literally has 6 to 8 years of working together, maybe total of 10 of knowing each other. Yes, they fall in love earlier. But not within a month. They grow to respect each other, and support each other. To know each other. We could argue that with how bitchy Bo’s been, Jenny already knows all his flaws and with his superior intelligence, of course, he knows her entirely, but at the same time, is it worth jack if that’s how he uses his knowledge?

TL;DR: Bo took every good card and overplayed it. He may be redeemed in rest of the crama, I will have to watch and see, but that’s my feeling about it right now.

It’s not a bad drama, it’s not the worst out there, it has lot of drawing points and Bo’s actor really does an amazing job. Perhaps all this is just me trying to find reason why I was so hyped for this couple/drama and then I started to not care for it, kinda dislike it. And if you like it, I don’t judge you, it has its appeal. And it stands out from cdramas for sure!

Rainy out.

[katherinelhughes]

A Car Accident in the Age of Impeachment

Dec. 11th—it’s becoming clear to me that I need to get some thoughts on paper before I can even hope to embrace any kind of holiday spirit.  It’s been a challenging few weeks.  I wrote my only other blog about a year ago, upon my return from a glorious trip to Ireland with my daughter.  I’m sorry if you got the wrong impression from that blog post.  No, Katherine is not all rainbows and unicorns.  Though I did see an astounding number of rainbows in Ireland, and I do have a Pillow Pet that is a rainbow unicorn.  But I digress…

It’s just that I’ve come to this really painful realization: IT’S US AGAINST THEM.  I know that this is the antithesis of the spirit of the holiday season.  But I’m going to need some kind of Scrooge-like epiphany right now to convince me otherwise.  I’m hoping that writing this blog will be the exorcism that gets this dangerous and demonic idea out of my head: it’s us against them.  

First, the car accident.  Nov. 5th—I’m traveling west on Touhy Avenue in a little stretch of Chicago that is between Niles and Park Ridge.  (…a fact that is meaningful only to Chicagoans)  Ahead of me I see a car pull slowly into my lane of traffic, and almost immediately veer into the oncoming lane, and back again.  Then I see the vehicle stopped on the side of the road, and as I pass, I see an elderly woman staring malevolently at me through the vehicle’s window.  Actually, I probably made up that part, in which the woman becomes this almost cartoonish representation of a mean old lady.  Maybe my psyche’s attempt to come to terms with what is about to happen…  Anyway, I’m relieved that she seems no longer to be a present danger on the road.  I come up to the next light, and as I sit there, reality suddenly shifts.  I hear and feel what I take at first to be an explosion, until I realize that someone has plowed into the rear end of my car.  It is of course the erratically-driving woman—my cartoon nemesis.  She has pushed my car into the car in front of me, but thankfully its occupants are unharmed.

I call to report the accident, which has already been reported by an off-duty officer who happens to be on the scene.  In minutes the police arrive and also, like circling vultures, a tow truck driver and the representative of the tow yard.  Both the police and the towing people are very solicitous, and want to be sure I’m okay.  And really, all things considered, I am.  I can’t say the same for the lady who hit me.  It becomes pretty clear that she is completely incapacitated, most likely by prescription med’s.  She is unable to answer the questions of the police, though she seems not to have sustained physical injuries, and they take her away in an ambulance.  The tow truck people are hovering around me, anxious to take my car away, but I insist on waiting until my husband arrives.  As we’re waiting, they open the lady’s car door and show me a gallon plastic bag filled with pill bottles.  On the passenger seat, in plain view.

And by the way, tow yards are a scam.  My car sat in that lot, racking up charges, until Nov. 11th.  The lot’s owner rarely answered his phone, and its hours were only 10 AM to 2 PM.  Remember the Steve Goodman song “Lincoln Park Pirates” about the infamous Lincoln Towing Service?  I should have been paying more attention!

Okay, I won’t draw out the details of the accident any further—you saw the picture.  It has become this script I deliver anyway, and I’m frankly ready for some new material.  And you’re probably wondering, it’s us against them, car accident, impeachment?  Where is she going with this?

In the aftermath of the accident, I am catching bits and pieces of the Intelligence Committee impeachment hearings on my rented car’s radio.  Some impressions of what I hear: 

Nov. 15th—Marie Yovanovitch, ambassador to Ukraine, reminds me of Christine Blasey Ford.  A very reasonable but somewhat soft-spoken woman.  Just the kind of woman that Donald Trump and his ilk like to bully.  Oh, I probably forgot to say how much I despise Donald Trump.  As a true liberal (Come on guys, can’t we all just get along?), it’s very painful to have to admit despising someone.  I give Nancy Pelosi kudos for praying for him—I’m not quite there on my journey toward enlightenment…

Nov. 20th—Gordon Sondland, ambassador to the EU: “(President Zelensky) loves your ass!”  Seriously?  And as journalist Ana Kasparian noted, hey, doesn’t the EU ambassador position cost at least $6 million? 

Nov.  21st—My new hero, Fiona Hill!  The way she squashes that ridiculous theory about Ukraine’s involvement in the 2016 election.  And that northeastern-England accent—simply delightful!  Yes, she’s from a coal-mining town, and her father lost his livelihood when the coal mines shut down.  Other countries in the developed world are shutting down their coal operations.  Not the US—our president ran on the promise of bringing back coal jobs!!!  Sorry, again I digress.

But my impression overall of the hearings?  It’s us against them.  Democrats versus Republicans.  What, did they all do debate team in high school?  Decide which side you’re on, and say ANYTHING you have to say to support that side’s position?  Of course I see the Republicans’ argument as completely bogus—that what Trump did doesn’t rise to high crimes and misdemeanors.  I think he should be impeached and then convicted by the senate.  It ain’t happening though.  Why?  Because it’s us against them.  Democratic control of the House and Republican control of the Senate. 

Until we have a multi-party system of government, we will be forever locked in this battle.  And until we admit that our system of government is a money-power oligarchy, we will never change the fact that most of us in this country are without true representation.  And by the way, I have to laugh at the “framers-of-the-constitution” talking point that the Democrats trot out constantly.  Oh yeah, that little group of money-power oligarchs that wrote our sacred document?  Donald Trump is only one in a long line of wealthy men who have wielded great power in this land.  Ooh, better go hug my unicorn pillow and calm down a bit!

But it’s not just in the political sphere that I’m feeling the us-against-them dynamic.  The whole car accident experience was fraught with it.  I certainly felt that I was in an adversarial position with my own insurance company.  Since they declared my car totaled, they had to give me an estimate of its value.  To them, it was not worth much—to me, it was invaluable.  Because the car was ten years old, and had about 153,000 miles on it, I didn’t even get enough to buy a lesser car—we had to fork over extra money to buy a replacement car that is two years older and not a hybrid.  Thankfully, I was coached not to accept the first offer I got, or we would have received even less. 

Memorable comments I got when I related my insurance woes: “Insurance companies are evil incarnate,” and “Most individuals walk away bloodied after an encounter with one.”  And I do know that I should be grateful that I didn’t walk away literally bloodied.  Just some bruises on my knees, and maybe some different pain in my back and shoulders.  Hard to be sure since this season can be hard on us violin-players anyway…

A little aside about cars.  I have always prided myself on avoiding attachment to earthly possessions—cars in particular.  I’m serious about this journey-toward-enlightenment thing.  But I think I actually had to mourn the loss of this car.  Maybe that’s normal—I don’t know since I’ve never had a car totaled before.  It was a red ’09 Toyota Camry Hybrid.  I am thankful that it gave its life so that I might be saved…

We’re always reminded to drive defensively, and believe me, I have wondered if there was something I could have done to avoid the accident.  But the thing that really bothers me is that this defensive posture extends to other areas beyond driving.  The us-against-them conflict seems to play out in so many arenas.  I feel that I’m having to relentlessly advocate for my own interests with the companies that are “providing services” for me.  I don’t like this defensive stance.  I resent the energy it requires—it could be used in much more creative ways.  Yeah, I’m talking to you, Cigna.  And you, Verizon.  And—well, the list goes on.

Dec. 11th—the impeachment hearings have continued into the Judiciary Committee and beyond, and there is deadlock in that particular us-against-them impasse.  Is the impeachment exercise also a waste of energy?  It’s hard to imagine that it will do anything but ramp up the animosity between the two sides.  I guess it has to be done for the sake of our democracy—oh right, I said we’re a money-power oligarchy, so never mind.  Meanwhile I will bury my head in the iridescent fur of my rainbow unicorn.  I want to believe that we’re all in this together.  Still waiting for that ghostly visit that will turn my head around before Christmas…

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 9 - “He just told me what side of the fence to fall on” - Corey

Well that went my way for sure!! While unanimous, literally five minutes into the warzone I told Ian we have to go after Madison and Jacob. He agreed and then we rallied the troops. Love when a plan works out. 

An alliance called M&M&M was made between Matt, Madison, and I. We were thinking of doing Ian but we didnt want to push too hard because we didnt want to reveal our cards that we had something. I just hope us sacrificing Jacob will be a positive thing for us and not a negative. Im glad theres allinces forming now. Hope i can stay away from warzone this next round but who knows. Im going to try my hardest tho.

help. who knew that my blood revenge for wanting Nehe out resulted in ALL of the other Kilimanjaro reps to be voted off one by one. parting that with chips, there was 5 people repping that season... and now I'm the lone Survivor from that season. pray for me yalls.

Ugh!!! I blame Johnny for this. Scavenger hunt is usually my favorite challenge except the both times im doing it with Johnny :p  these are soooo weird again. Dealing with this challenge and moving my stuff from my apartment on friday/saturday will probably not get me immunity. Im still trying so hopefully everyone else is busy as well. I Curse Johnny but like only a small one. Like him spilling his fries on the floor. 🍟

Hosts: Another Ian confessional, hopefully he shuts up about his idol and actually give some insight into his game. Me: MY IDOL!!!!11!!1 IT IS MINE, MY OWN, MY PRECIOUS. On a real note, I'm not sure if I confessed this round yet that one of the reasons behind the Jacob vote was to put Nar in a numbers advantage should that come into play at anytime.  The point of the premerge phase is to build as many pathways to alliances/mutually beneficial voting blocks as possible that also have a vested interest to vote with you.  I have Maynor asking to be a duo with me, sure yeah man I do like you and hope to work with you deep in this game as someone that can help me cut Corey or Trace if working with them in the game becomes problematic, but I also know Maynor has a vested interest in Kait, which I do like Kait well enough but she can't be allowed to go on a run if I want a chance to make a run myself.  Corey wants to keep our partnership as secret as possible, which yes I do think is smart, it also relies heavily on trust.  At this moment in time I have no reason but to trust Corey.  That may change in the future, he wants to keep it secret, that's chill, but I'm going to have my own backdoor deals should shit hit the fan. Devon/Matt one of them put me as the scapegoat to Jacob, I don't know which and honestly I do not care which one of them it was. They are both standing in my way at this moment for the win.  That could change in the future.  The game is long and full of terrors.

this is it this is the round im goin to the w a r z o n e 

Im safe!!! Im glad cuz tomorrow is graduation party from my parents and didnt wanna attend tribal. But i feel like Drunk Maynor is being cheated out for this season. I dont have my drinking buddies. Maybe this season wont see Drunk Maynor and I could actually be good in this game.

Me: goes to warzone a bunch People in warzone: don’t target me at all ———— Last round: People in warzone: mention my name Me: flips that ish on Jacob REAL quick also me: HA NOT GOING TO WARZONE AGAIN FOR A HOT SEC BEST BELIEVE IM FINALLY IMMUNE. imagine that! I kinda tried for once! and I placed exactly where I needed to hehe.

Thomas is a fucking idiot honestly. Like, he has been to the war zone enough times to know that the WORST possible thing you can do is throw a name out on the first night. Everything always comes together a couple hours before tribal, and by putting names out there this early, he is basically just MAKING SURE that the vote will come down between him and Adrian. For background, Thomas came to me, still butthurt about being called inactive, telling me that he wants to vote Adrian. I am very into that plan, don't get me wrong. Adrian is one person that I have literally nothing in common with. But to come in, guns blazing, this early in the war zone is a HUGE mistake, one that will probably end in a lot of extra stress for Thomas. But, it is good for me, because even though Thomas likes to spill all the tea to me, he is someone that I could very well afford losing. Kait is finally in the war zone. This could also be a pivotal moment because I would be shocked if people do not gun for her this round. I don't really want her out yet because I feel like she's a great shield for the merge, but we shall see what people want. basically, even though I don't really have any of my closest allies in the war zone (ian, Corey, Madison), I might be okay because of Thomas v Adrian, and MAJOR threats being here. The only thing that could fuck me up is if Owen tries to pull something. I do not trust that kid and want him out early merge. But for now I am just trying to lay low and vote with majority.

against all odds, I'm still safe! Warzone looks like a crackden tonight and I'm nowhere near it. I hope Owen makes it out okay. Kait, though chaotic, is someone I'm getting closer to. I would like to have her around until around f9??? we'll see. Same kind of story w Maynor. I need Thomas and Stephen OUT. Timmy as well. They are on my Arya-style kill list. I've been immune for ??? 4 tribals in a row now??? I still have my save vote to use as I have not been to tribal since obtaining it. I have also acquired a rock-save thing that Ian and I dug up together. Basically, if we go to rocks, I can use it to save myself (immune from my rock being picked). Nifty lil power... Hopefully I also get this save vote and don't become the owner of a dead power. After tomorrow's tribal, we'll be final 14. 10 gone. only 11 more to go before I'm in FTC. or 12. I don't care. As long as I'm there in the end. Ideally, with Ian and Owen and I come out victorious. I am playing nice girl, liar AND schemer. The game is outwit, outlast and you can't outwit Corey Rae Jepsen baby! and if you want the truth, this is Corey. I suspect Owen-Kait-Thomas to vote the same way. i expect Adrian-Matt to vote the same way. Chloe and Stephen are wild cards. Trace... I am praying for to be okay as well. If Chloe-Stephen-Trace-Matt-Adrian work together, they could get Thomas or Kait out. We'll see! I feel bad wanting Kait out as I do like her but if she goes w/o me having a hand in it... I'll be sad bc I like her but happy bc I think she's too smart to keep very long. She'll catch on to me. She'll plan my demise, which is exactly why I need her close to me as long as she's here. Also - Maynor coming in 2nd? I'm out here busting my butt and they're gonna rank me number three? after someone who can't even barely walk and barely do anything and all he does is sit around and fuss and curse everyone.. I was VERY insulted. (this a crystal cox quote sgflksgls) But fr he said he barely did any. mmhmmmm.. If i was on the fence about him before, he just told me what side of the fence to fall on. 

Im glad Im safe. Idk how this  vote will actually go. I wish luck to thomas matt kait. And ithers but cant remember who from other side is in it. Today imma just keep talking to ian and corey to make deeper bonds with then and enjoying my grad party. Drunk maynor may leave a confessional later.

This warzone is by far the most crucial one in my game. I’m absolutely PARANOID at this point because Kait gave me some info that Ian is mad at me for telling Jacob to vote him, wasn’t my idea but okay. I’m at a point where playing in the middle will leave me getting absolutely squashed in the middle. My allies Kait and Adrian are totally at odds with each other, and Thomas is targeting Adrian and Adrian is targeting Thomas and like, I just wanna vote Chloe. I have the feeling that Adrian needs to go this time around, it would free me of the threat of being sign partners in this game and I’d rather leave bitter betrayals for the pre jury portion of the game. As long as I’m not getting votes and I can keep holding on to this idol and some semblance of good graces with everyone in the game I’m satisfied.

Well I forgot to submit the video confessional I will later lol but I want Adrian out. He seemed very d*ckish about me being inactive and I am not taking kindly to it. It seems Trace is with me and so it Kait and Owen. I hope I can get on more person so we can get Adrian out.

I'm highkey getting 15th again... and I'm gonna cry. Like this fucking hurts so much. People aren't talking to me and the few people are just talking about life and pretty much anything but the vote. Getting a third 15th placement will literally crush my heart and soul so much, so I pray that something works out in my favor.

So happy to be safe, didn't think I would be. Ummmmm, looking at who is going to tribal, i'm not sure who is going to get voted out. I would be so sad if Kait goes, but it would be a smart move in all honesty because this is the first time she's gone to tribal. Getting her or Owen out would be a big move, but I need them in the game for the time being because they are some of the only people who are seen as bigger challenge threats than me. Although I am only safe because of the tribe I'm on, I've never scored the best overall and so really it's an interesting scenario, if I was on the other tribe I would be at the warzone, yet on mine I got 3rd. I just hope it's not a unanimous vote because I want people to come back to camp with drama.

I feel more sick than I ever have and now I’m back in the war zone. How fun. I just hope I can manage to stay safe yet again, I feel like that’s unlikely though 

Okay so I’ve been busy af with my friends all of a sudden it’s almkst tribal nnnnn and it’s between Chloe and Adrian rn. Adrian allegedly wanted me and Kait out earlier YIKE so I originally wanted him but now it’s like matt pushing for Chloe This is rlly good for my game tho because it gives me and Kait something to bond over that sets us apart from matt. I literally am never going to turn on Kait in this game.... fuck. I hope she do the same .

Its Alcohol Time!!!!!!!!

Show just got out and barely anyone messaged me the whole time whoops! I think I’m about to get blindsided tbh this is too quiet lmaooo but Kait and I pushed Adrian so hopefully that’s it. If not then it’s been fun. This seems too easy so I’m not expecting much nnnn but if I’m here.... I’m goin for it 

Im drinking more now. And im nervous who is leaving tonight. Hope the people im working with stay alive.

Good news! I won the past two challenges and have been safe!  That is awesome. Even better news is I just searched Q10 and got a hit which means I’m near an idol :)

Okay so I’ve been busy af with my friends all of a sudden it’s almkst tribal nnnnn and it’s between Chloe and Adrian rn. Adrian allegedly wanted me and Kait out earlier YIKE so I originally wanted him but now it’s like matt pushing for Chloe This is rlly good for my game tho because it gives me and Kait something to bond over that sets us apart from matt. I literally am never going to turn on Kait in this game.... fuck. I hope she do the same .

I am drunk. And i miss havjng my drinkjng buddies in dani alyssa n jess. And havung jones be on call. I need to find some drinking buddies here to have more fun. Plus monty alyssa n johnny r doing amazing as hosts this seasob.

[impvlved]

❛ Is THAT what you call tact ?  You're as subtle as a  B R I C K  in the small of my back so lets end this call, and this conversation. And is that what you call a   G E T A W A Y  ?  Well, tell me what you got away with. ‘Cause you left the frays from the ties you severed and when you say BEST FRIENDS means  FRIENDS FOREVER .  ❜                                                                                    — Seventy Times 7, 1757 (2013)

yo yo yo, it’s linc comin’ at you with another muse because I am trash and cannot contain myself. This is my pop punk (don’t call his music pop punk to his face tho) baby Phoenix Henry! I have yet to write up his official bio but you can find his about page with some essential facts HERE and I’ll list a summary below!

Nix plays Jeremiah “Shooter” Schuman on Suburbia, so he’s been in acting for about three years now and he adores it. God. Anything involving creating and emotion? Sign him the FUCK. UP.

Once upon a time, two hella rich, hella famous Hollywood film producers had a child named Phoenix, and they just let him chill. He went to school in Burbank, California and a lot of the kids in his classes had parents in a similar position of fame, so there was never anything abnormal about his life. He’d go to class, return home to his mansion, and overall experience childhood just like anyone else -- except with added glitz, glam, and luxury. He discovered from an early age that he adored music. 

His parents had gotten him his first guitar and piano when he was four, in an effort to get Nix out of their hair, without realizing that their little ploy would lead to something so much greater. Nix began jamming out with his friends after school when he was ten, and slowly but surely the group of boys evolved to find their sound -- they competed in their first Burbank Battle of the Bands in 8th grade and won over three high school bands, which was a HUGE deal! The pressure was on then -- the group of boys chose their first name, The Switch, and began playing at middle school and high school dances, even landing a gig for the high school senior prom! Nix and his pals did this under their parents’ noses for a while, until they all turned 15 and they’d become “local celebrities” among Burbank’s youth.

Once Nix’s parents caught wind of the band, they ate it up. Mrs. Henry’s response to her son’s talents wasn’t to congratulate him, but rather tell him to work harder, push more -- she placed a call into her friends at Columbia Records and the boys landed a recording deal with one caveat: their name had to go.

Nix came up with their new band name the night before a world history test, when the group of boys’ attempts at a study group capsized. Playful banter and small food fights began (a deviled egg here, a mini hot dog there), but Nix found himself buried in a book of poetry his grandmother had given him for his 15th birthday. The poet? William Blake, one of his all-time favorites. After reading a particularly intriguing piece, Nix looked up, precisely when a small tea sandwich hit him square in the forehead. “1757,” he mused, closing the book. The other boys were silenced and immediately agreed. It wasn’t until later that they realized the name was a result of Nix’s love for poetry -- and the birth date of a one William Blake. In interviews with the band, the boys would tease Nix because of it, but his response would lack no confidence. “If you don’t roll with my boy Billy Blake,” he’d state, eyebrows lifted in defiance, “Then you can’t roll with me.”

So their first record was released in late 2011! And it just   e x p l o d e d   . Within 24 hours they had three songs in the U.S. Top 10 and 6 in the Global Top 50. In 2012, they toured for the very first time, and it only solidified their position at the top of the new punk movement. Suddenly, Nix’s parents took an interest in his life and wanted everything to do with him. They became the band’s managers and pushed the boys to their absolute extremes. Over the next few years, they’d release four singles and three albums -- and any time they weren’t in the studio, they were touring, headlining their own shows and appearing at festivals like Boston Calling, Warped Tour, etc. In 2014, 1757 was one of the Coachella headliners. 

Being the frontman of the band, Nix received the majority of fan enthusiasm -- of both the amazing and... creepy variety. Girls plastered his face all over their walls, fans recognized him even when he tried to go incognito. The fame invaded every single aspect of his life. And, unlike other big stars, the boy found it difficult to face it. In interviews, Nix let his bandmates do the majority of the talking. When he was asked about things, he’d offer nuanced, intelligent answers, but other than that he let his bandmates speak. This gave him the reputation of the “broody, sexy one.” Which, alright, could be kind of true, but he didn’t appreciate how everything about him was idealized and perpetuated as some sort of unrealistic romanticization of his character.

Nix became overwhelmed. His fans didn’t notice unless they really squinted but he began to look exasperated in interviews and backstage access videos. “Is it just me or is he getting hotter?!” was featured in a lot of YouTube comments on their music videos, but only Nix’s bandmates knew the truth -- the lifestyle was eating away at his resolve. And his parents pioneering their every move? It got tiring. They started imposing their opinions on Nix’s songwriting, discouraging experimentation, discouraging change. 

And then Zenith posted an audition for a new TV show, Suburbia. Nix slinked off to the auditions on a day they were supposed to be recording, and got the call about the role the morning after 1757 debuted one of their new singles on Saturday Night Live. Filming for season one aligned with their recording schedule, so he took on the role after consulting his parents, claiming it would be just a one-season gig. He’d record while filming, and finish just before the band’s summer tour would kick off.

After the first season aired, it became apparent that Suburbia was a hit and his character wasn’t going away. Nix fought to balance his two gigs and managed for a bit, until Zenith reached out and asked if he’d be willing to put in more time for Jeremiah’s role. Music had become a chore. The touring process started to toll him. Shortly after returning from a short Northeastern tour in 2015, Nix’s grandmother passed away -- and that was the last straw, the last thing that he needed to know it was time to quit.

The band understood; they’d all grown tired of how vigorously they’d been working. Some had dreams of going to university, others just simply wanted to live a normal life. So, while Suburbia filmed its second season, they worked on producing their fifth and final album. As the second season aired, 1757 kicked off their final world tour. They broke news of their hiatus in January 2017, and their final tour was extended for three months to accommodate for higher ticket demands. They parted ways victorious, and their fanbase still remains hopeful that a 1757 reunion may be underway in the future.

Nix is well aware he can’t outrun the fame he’s garnered from the band -- he’ll always be Nix Henry, 1757′s dreamboy, but now he feels that he can start anew. While venturing further into his acting career, Nix has begun recording a solo album to be released in late 2017 -- but this project has been kept top secret from most people in order to keep his parents from meddling with the project. Nix still runs his YouTube channel he started for the band, but its focus has become more geared to Q&A’s, vlogs, and snippets of original songs he’s written.

He loves words. (So it’s no surprise that he’s got quite the knack for them.) Often, when he’s not working, Nix can be found with his nose buried in poetry collections and the classics. He’s a prolific writer, often writing poetry double the rate at which he pens lyrics, which is perhaps why 1757 went down in the books as one of the most musically and lyrically nuanced bands of this generation.

You can absolutely expect me to pull songs from All Time Low, Blink-182, Brand New, The All-American Rejects, Sum 41, Green Day, Fall Out Boy, New Found Glory, Good Charlotte, The Wonder Years, Taking Back Sunday, Panic! at the Disco, Yellowcard, etc. and say they’re works of 1757. I like the idea of having tangible songs of theirs, and I’m legit pop-punk trash, so. Yes yes yes. If you ever have any recommendations/thoughts on songs that should be in their repertoire, hit me up! I’m always looking!

Nix is a gentle soul. He’s quite the flirt, but he’s quiet -- if he doesn’t see a reason to say something, he won’t. Music is his outlet and that’s where his emotions and thoughts are channeled. If he’s got an issue, he’s more likely to write a song about it than address it directly. See Seventy Times 7 (lyrics above the cut), a song he wrote about a girl who backstabbed him by cheating on him with one of his bandmates. Another example would be Soco Amaretto Lime (also stolen from Brand New), a song about refusing to grow up. See the lines: I’m gonna stay eighteen forever, so we can stay like this forever. And we’ll never miss a party ‘cause we keep them going constantly. And we’ll never have to listen to anyone about anything. ‘Cause it’s all been done and it’s all been said. We’re the coolest kids and we take what we can get. It’s one of their slower songs, more wistful, a bit melancholic. At the time, he was dating another musician he met at a festival, and his parents didn’t approve, hence the repeated lines of: You’re just jealous ‘cause we’re young and in love; you’re just jealous. 

Another example (I promise this is the last Brand New rant I go on, I just love them) is The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot, written pretty shortly after a breakup and -- more notably in his life -- his grandmother’s death. They were close, so his feelings about the situation kind of bled into the song’s original purpose. It was also a disguised letter to his parents following some conversations about toning down the band’s commitments -- It’s cold as a tomb, and it’s dark in your room when I sneak to your bed to pour salt in your wounds. So call it quits or get a grip. You say you wanted a solution, you just wanted to be missed. Call me a safe bet, I’m betting I’m not. Glad that you can forgive, only hoping as time goes, you can forget. He knows he’s a disappointment, he knows he’s letting them down, but this song was written on the cusp of his realization that he really couldn’t do it any longer.

Expect some song posts with lyrics and headcanons or self-paras of his writing process because I’m invested. Wooooooooo.

He’s got tattoos! A lot! And he wants more! Because the world is his canvas, honestly.

Talk to him about words. Tell him your favorite word. He will legitimately be so in love.

Heterosexuality? What’s that? The media’s convinced Nix is some type of ladykiller but he’s just... nope. It makes him laugh.

He has this inherent intensity in his gaze and expression. Like, he could be thinking about rainbows and puppies but fans will be like ‘omfg he’s obviously thinking about the implications of human existence right now’. But like..... also not a lie? He’s quite existential. His lyrics have been known to induce lots of crises, while simultaneously helping people out so it’s like... a huge paradox.

His lyrics are   A B S O L U T E L Y  the ones superimposed onto wilderness photographs on tumblr and reblogged as RP musings. Like, yes. Mhm.

There’s a live acoustic version of the band’s song, You’re So Last Summer (@ Taking Back Sunday, wooo) that brought his fanbase to tears? So yes. That’s kind of the direction his solo album is going in. Words still severe, abrasively true, but... The sound’s less loud and more subtle. Raw.

If I keep going I’m gonna like, put you all to sleep. So! That’s Nix in a nutshell! I want any and all the plots so please feel free to hit me up!! xoxo thanks for reading this long ass post

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2017: Pre-Show

20. France: Alma - “Requiem” Finalist

Bouncy, bubbly, fresh. It is a huge relief that after huge standard set by Amir last year, Alma has arrived to uphold it. France have tried to be relevant in this contest for a long time and I feel like finally their efforts have paid off. Yet, I’m not entirely feeling Alma? Okay, that’s a bald-faced lie. As with Hovig, I fell in love with Alma at first listen. As with Hovig, I fell out of love. However, while I simply grew bored with “Gravity” (RnB is one of my least favourite genres outside of Eurovision), what happened with “Requiem” was arguably worse?

It was revamped. Unnecessarily. 

The original was almost perfect to me and would have been a slam-dunk for top 10 in this ranking. Alas, despite having a song which needed no such change, France decided to alter the arrangement and we’re left with this mess.

The Fan Community itself still likes “Requiem” overall and I do as well, however both the FC and myself agree that “Requiem” became worse post-revamp. The reasons differ however. Most fans seem to hate the English, which I actually don’t mind. I like bilingual songs if you make it work and it works here. 

No, what I find really off-putting is the added instrumentation. I LOVE “Requiem”’s melody and simplicity, so why did they have to butcher that by adding half an orchestra into the mix? If “Perfect Life” is too barren, then new “Requiem” is the opposite: too busy, too distracting, too much of a mess.

Making changes for that sake of making changes has always been a huge pet peeve of mine, so I rank her ONLY 20th!! Fortunately, the live track doesn’t have intrumentation as obnoxious as in the studio version, so hopefully I can leave my pickiness behind and enjoy the song come May. 

WINNER ODDS: low

While “Requiem” is a good song and Alma is a capable singer, I feel like her chances are strongly overrated. France managed to send Amir out without any real staging (just a backdrop) and barely got away with it because of Amir’s charisma alone. 

“Requiem” however doesn’t have that luxury. A song this bouncy NEEDS an act of sorts and guess what, France are crap at staging? The way I see it now, despite the strong song, despite the good vocals, despite the good reception, I can imagine Alma pulling a Molly and underperforming. 

However, if France (somehow) do get it right and Alma is on late, she could put quite the upset. I consider it more likely for the UK to pull the same upset (again, there IS a market for introverted ballads in Eurovision), but I wouldn’t be too surprised if France managed it instead.  That said, my gut feeling says Alma will be a midcarder.

Projected placement: 10th-15th

[smoothshift]

A day in the life of a low budget but aspirational endurance race team. via /r/cars

A day in the life of a low budget but aspirational endurance race team.

Last month Team Fieroline raced at a beautiful track in Washington called The Ridge Motorsports Park. Check out this first hand account. If anyone is interested to learn more check us out at www.facebook.com/TeamFieroline.

League info can be found at www.racelucky.com

Its truly some of the most fun and intense racing at any price point!

Apart from Team Fieroline's brief 1.5 hour appearance in last year's Ridge Grand Prix before SOMEBODY broke third gear (ok it was me...that time...), this was our first real time racing in Shelton. We sported not one but two guest drivers, Len White who spearheads the 221 Bull Rack Mustang team, and the man who got us into this mess, the very speedy Justin Parcher who runs the 55 Pontiaxed Fiero team. Let's take it from the top.

Emily and I awoke at the ungodly hour of 3:50am Friday morning. Team Fieroline headed up to get into the Friday track day and wanted to be early to set up. We have to say, that was the best track day experience we have ever had by a wide margin. It wasn't ridiculously expensive, they allowed ride-alongs, there were 7 run groups and they allowed MULTIPLE DRIVERS OH MY GOD IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!!! It didn't cost $800!!! (I'm looking at YOU, Thunderhill Raceway PARK!!) I rode along both times that Emily drove, and she improved 26 seconds to a respectable 2:24 lap time for a rookie driver. I took her out for a spin in between and I think she learned a lot from that. Damian and Katey also rode with each other. I also rode along with Damian once and he rode along with me. It was fun to analyze the track and share tips with each other!

Justin started the race for us on Saturday, and had a few back and forth battles with various teams. He and Raphael in the Giant Motorsport BMW ran nose to tail for a while before Raphael spun off the track. Justin had a lot of good laps and ran a 2:03.1 before pitting in 15th overall.

Len went in the car next, and we finally got him some good laps in the car. He had to get used to the way the car rotates in corners. Particularly under braking, it seems the Fiero can get sideways much easier than a Mustang. Len ran a 2:04.9 and picked up several positions before pitting in 11th.

Damian got in the car next and held pretty consistent 2:05-2:07 range when all of the sudden, he got a clean lap 5 laps before his pit stop, and out of nowhere ran a blistering 2:02.327. The car was really feeling good that day, and Damian was enjoying his creation immensely. It was impressive to say the least because Justin is at worst, a very tough man to beat. When informed on the radio that Damian had fast lap of the day, he replied, "Feels really good!" Damian pitted in 8th place overall, which is surprisingly high for us B class types, particularly at a track that draws as much competition as The Ridge! I'd say The Ridge is the most competitive race of the year, as in, it's most difficult to win there, in my opinion.

That left the clean up to me. The guys put us in a really good spot, running 2nd in B class, only a lap down from the leader, Jason Miles in the Giant Motorsport car. I came out of the pits right in front of him and the race was on. For a couple of laps we were nose to tail, before in my mildly sickly recovering-from-illness stupor, I managed to forget where 4th gear was entering turn 2. After that missed shift, Jason got passed me and I followed him for a few laps. That was when disaster struck.

Team Fieroline had recently purchased a new seat belt harness and it was working well. The only problem is that it was tighter on the left side than the right, and the release lever was about twice as big as our old one. On a particularly spicy entry to turn 13, I turned the wheel too far to the left such that my left hand was on the bottom side of the steering wheel and then some, and my forearm hit the lever. As I dove down the hill and around the corner onto the front stretch, I knew I had screwed up, through very little fault of my own...or anyone else, really. I frantically tried to clip in the belts as I accelerated down the front stretch, to no avail. I cautiously tiptoed around the bendy bits up on the ridge as my belts went everywhere. I radioed in what happened, and pitted that lap. I just wasn't feeling it that day, but the guys had my belts back on in a hurry and I was out and away. That dropped us down nearly a lap. I was just getting back into the groove when a few laps later, I did it again. That's about as frustrated as I've ever been in a racecar. I just couldn't believe that it had happened again. I pitted immediately and got them clipped in. I went back out, resolved that I would never let my hand go under the wheel again, and managed to keep my promise to myself.

I realized I was frustrated and had to change my attitude. It's not easy when there's nobody to blame but yourself, and that's really not even a good option in this scenario. This has never happened to anybody in our car before. Not that blame does any good, but you just think to yourself, "dang, how on earth could I have prevented that?" and there are no good answers. I radioed in, "Well, I'm sorry about this one guys, but I just have to make the best of it." A short time later, the clouds started gathering over the track. I could see them, but having seen the forecast, I was relatively confident I wouldn't see rain...until it started raining. It was the kind of scenario where it's not some gentle PNW drizzle creeping in from the coast. It was a big dark cloud with patchy rain that was only occurring on turn 2-8 and turn 13 area, where large rain drops started hitting my windshield. Damian radioed in, saying that he hadn't plugged the wipers in, but I had already tried them out and found them to be functioning. It was the kind of storm where any corner could have been absolutely drenched in the 2 minutes since you were last present there, so you gotta be careful, see the track and know where the grip is. I was having a good battle with Erik out there in the 96 Civic. That thing is really hooked up in the corners. There was a fair bit of cautious traffic out there and several times, I had to brake early for a corner, with Erik right on my tail. I was honestly impressed that he didn't nudge me from behind at any point. We had a nice back and forth battle for a while there. Then it started to hail. Rain and hail was pelting the car as I drove through turn 13. This was a new experience! I have not raced in hail before! Fortunately, despite being rather large drops, neither rain nor hail precipitated with much fury. It was just damp conditions on the majority of the track.

The end of the race was near and on the last lap, I came over the crest of the hill at turn 10 to see the big silver tail lights of the #199 Screaming Chickens car, the only other Pontiac on track. "The 199 car is for position." the fantastic crew chief Katey radioed in. "Copy." I replied. I only had a few more turns to pass what turned out to be Craig from the Screaming Chickens team. I managed to get a good run out of turn 11, but the V8 of the Trans Am pulled a little gap on me. It was getting pretty damp in certain spots, so Craig hit the brakes kinda early into Turn 12. I hit my brake point and got on the gas a little earlier and pulled along the inside of his car on the corner exit. Once again, the V8 lumbered away from me and he crossed into the middle of the track. I briefly considered trying to dive bomb him on the inside of turn 13, but I knew it was a risky move. it would have to work perfectly and given the conditions, I had no guarantee of that. He had a one to two car length gap on me by the time he hit his brake point. I realized that wrecking our pit mates and our car, the only two Pontiacs on track on a Saturday race on the 10th anniversary of Pontiac shutting down for good probably wasn't the greatest idea and decided to wait and see what would happen next. Maybe he'd make a mistake and I could get past him before the front stretch. Craig took tight lines on turns 14 and 15, because he knew not to let me pass. My only chance was to get a better run than him onto the front stretch, so I took 15 wide, got on the gas early, apexed late and pulled right hard in 16 to try to get a little space between Craig and the pit wall. It worked and I got my nose even with his rear tire, but I couldn't out accelerate him. The V8 slowly pulled a 0.434 second gap on me before the checkered.

Well played, Screaming Chickens. Excellent driving! We finished 4th with a fast lap of 2:01.6. I got out of the car and walked over to congratulate Craig on holding me off those last few corners. Lucky Dog is about respect, and we shook each other's hands as we recalled what we had just experienced to each other. It's a lot better than saying, "sorry about hitting your car, guys." We both survived to race another day. But if you're out there reading this Craig, my last lap was 3.7 seconds faster than yours. One more lap and I would have had you...or sheared off what was left of our left front upper control arm! Nice racing with you. We'll get you next time! haha.

[dynamoverlagracing]

RACE REPORTS: SAC TRI, MT RAINIER DUATHLON, LAKE WILDERNESS TRIATHLON

Lots to talk about in these three races; in order, April 22nd for the SAC Pool Triathlon, April 29th for the Du, and June 2nd for Lake Wilderness (my first repeat race in the Pacific NW!). The SAC Tri was a total ass-freezer, getting out of that pool soaking wet, climbing shivering onto the bike in air temps around 48F. Brrrr! Still, hard to resist the beauty of a rolling course through quaint, sleepy Snohomish, and then alongside the beautiful river of the same name, and back again. Oddly competitive for such an early season race, there were some blistering times at this inaugural race.

Before I dive right into it, though, a note on my clever offseason. I did my first marathon, and with it some long-run buildup such that I haven’t accomplished in about a decade. All of it went well, little or no shin splints, and generally some very healthy and steady volume early in the offseason. While juggling three jobs I maintained 50 mile commuting bike weeks, as well as, in the Winter, 20 mile run commuting weeks. All put together (with a glaring lack of any swim training for about 8 months - ahhhh!!!!!), I had some very good offseason improvement in fitness coming into the 2018 season.

SWIM

At SAC Tri, it was slow but so, so easy. I could have gone a bit harder, but nonetheless my smooth and effortless breathing-every-four-or-five strokes put me well back in the bunch with a 12minute 500m swim. With only six swims before this race, I don’t feel too bad about it.

Mt Rainier was a du, so had a short run instead of a swim: as for that, I was pleased. I ran 6:36m pace for the 1.8 mile short first run. That put me in 13th place, overall, right off the bat.

At Lake Wilderness, a gorgeous lake swim and course overall, my first wetsuit race of the 2018 season. I had that extra month of May to make up for a lack of offseason swims. Now, one cannot makeup in 1 month 9 months without decent swim training, however, I certainly put a good effort forward to it. With zero pool swims, I managed to jump in the local lake for a total of 20,000m in the month of May. Weeks alternating 6k and 3k, made up of 3 swims per week each, with many shorter intervals, allowed me to improve upon last year’s Lake Wilderness swim by about a minute. Listed as a 400m (or 1/4 mile) swim, I still maintain, as was my suspicion last year, that the swim is a tad longer than a 1/4 mile. My 8:38 put me at 18th out of the water. A great start for me!

T1

At SAC, it was so cold. I shivered my way into T1, donned a windbreaking base layer so I could try and enjoy the bike, and thus had a slow, but not really all that slow or worse than a lot of last year’s, T1.

At Mt. Rainier, my 50-second T1 was just what I needed to stay competitive. Had I had my new tri shoes, I likely would have managed a 40 seconder. Next time!

At Lake Wilderness, I had a decent, more thoughtful T1 than these last couple. I think the weather helped. It was warm and sunny very early on, and so I wasn’t shivering out of the lake. I got my wetsuit down and to my ankles for some kicking it off action while I donned my helmet. A 1 minute T1 is still only good, but it was better than last year’s!

BIKE

At SAC TRI, a conservative bike allowed me to feel really fresh out on the run; it wasn’t so conservative as to not be difficult. I concentrated hard, but was able to take note of my improved ability to focus the whole time, stay in the bars even when climbing, and overall I felt good, although my average speed on the bike was not especially better than last years MPH averages. My bike split was 15th fastest, my eventual OA placing.

At Mt. Rainier, which included a grueling 3 mile hill climb, up, up, up, I managed a 10th fastest bike split. Ripping down the backside of the mountain at 38mph was awesome, and the descent was not at all technical, which allowed for more pleasant, less white-knuckle descending. Nonetheless, with my feathery frame, I was passed on this descent by some heavier dudes who I caught easily once we were on our feet.

At Lake Wilderness, which is a far more hilly course than I remember it being, I set the 2nd fastest bike split; unexpected! A nearly 600 mile bike month (May), in addition to maintaining my run miles (90miles) and additional swim load (20k) allowed this; I also had progressively longer long bike days, which likely improved my focus, cadence, and endurance. So, somewhat of a surprise but maybe not really, given the hilliness and my offseason/buildup in May, it was a pleasant discovery when the results were posted. I got out of the swim two minutes down from First and Second place, and was in a pack of dudes who all kinda got out of the water between 7 and 9 minutes, and had varying bike abilities. We yoyoed for a while, and then about mile 4, on a long hill, I pulled away, and dropped all of them. Spinning up hills and maintaining a relatively high (for me) cadence the whole way, I put a couple minutes into that group, and two whole minutes on my previous year’s bike split on the same course (Course PR of 2 minutes!!!! :D)

T2

I ripped into T2 at SAC with completely frozen, numb feet. I felt like I was running on a couple of bricks for most of the 5k. I don’t remember much from T2 at SAC other that I had to yank off, clumsily, my base layer before getting out on the course.

At Mt. Rainier, my identical 50 second T2 was good, but sleepy volunteers caused me to almost make a wrong turn out of transition. The Women’s 1st Place, Tafara Pulse, make up a good chunk of time in T2 and thus passed me early in the run. I caught up with her by the end (did not quite pass her, but closed the sizable gap she developed early in the run)

At Lake Wilderness, another improvement in this area (as in all the areas) solely based on my performance times from last year. As I already suspected (last year) the distances were a bit off, simple comparison of my performances serves as the best basis for noting improvement, as I don’t use Power or HR or anything but a simple cyclocomputer. A few seconds faster, nothing special, just decent, better, with plenty of room for more, as 1st and 2nd place still had consistently faster transitions than me.

RUN

So pleased with my SAC TRI run; if it hadn’t been for my awesome 5k at the end of that chilly, cobweb-shedding race, I might have been a bit more disappointed with it. But I ran 6:33s on fatigued, frozen feet/legs, and felt great the whole way. The run was along the Centennial Trail, a mile.5 north out of Snohomish, and then back, so it was easy, pleasant, and pretty. As far as I know, 6:33 5k run segment in a triathlon is a lifetime PR for me, at least out of races/times I can remember. From my early, early years doing triathlons in college, I think I may have had faster times 6:20s, even maybe dipping close to sub-6s, but I don’t have results from that long ago to compare it to. In running races I routinely ran 6:00s and 6:10s at anything up to 10k, but that was on fresh legs. So, anyway, getting back some of that young knucklehead speed in my thirties, that’s pretty sweet. My 5k time at the SAC TRI was 20:20, 6th (?) fastest as far as I can tell.

At the Mt. Rainier Duathlon, my 6:47s on very tired (and somewhat overtrained - I ran hard only two days before race day, oops) legs got me a third-fastest overall second-run split. I passed a number of people on the run, including a couple who’d passed me on the bike at some point. I quite nearly caught 6th place, and if there’d been another mile, 5th (F-01), too, but that is no matter - the last pass I made was in my AG, so that was a very wise (if unconscious) move - that secured me the AG 1st Place. That, with a 7th Pl Overall was very rewarding. I’ll take that, and I’ll improve on it further next year.

At Lake Wilderness, again, I’ll have to go by my times from last year. My run was about a minute faster, but still only 7:00-ish per mile, so, cop it up to the fact that it’s heavily a trail run, which always makes people a lil slower. I wonder if my 2nd fastest bike caused my run to slip to only 5th fastest. It’s splitting hairs either way, I’m super pleased with my run split. Nobody was in sight behind me and the whole way I had 2nd place in sight, ever closer, right up until the end when he was about 400m in front of me. I just needed another .5 to 1mile to catch him. Ah well, it was a great race, and I love the LW run course.

FINAL RESULTS

SAC TRI 15th OA, 2nd AG

Mt. Rainier DU 7th OA, 1st AG (3rd fastest 2nd run split)

Lake Wilderness Triathlon 3rd OA, 1st AG (by over 4 mins; 2nd fastest bike split on the day, 5th fastest run split)