#Gabriel stokes x reader

[betyloca]

twd characters with a silent s/o

daryl dixon

• He noticed at camp that you were very quiet or shy.

• When you sat down to eat around the fire with the camp, everyone was talking but you just watched without making a sound.

• until one day you were sitting next to him while he was telling you random things.

until I asked you why you never spoke

- Hey, why don't you talk, are you shy or something?

when I noticed that you took out a notebook and wrote in it

-* showing what it says* I am mute due to an accident that damaged my vocal cords but I am not deaf

• Since then he has been more attached to you, teaching you how to use weapons.

• since you are mute you have the advantages of being more agile without being heard

• teaches you how to use his crossbow

• he starts to get attached to you and always asks to go with you when you have to go get supplies

Rick grimmes

• He was an officer so he realized when he arrived at the camp that you weren't talking.

• By noticing that behavior more, I understood that you were mute.

• He would come to you if you needed help with something, which you always responded with a simple nod of the head.

• I started practicing sign language to communicate with you.

- If you need anything, let me know* communicating in signs*

- * while smiling * I am mute, not deaf, how do you think I can hear others when they talk to me * making signs *

-ohh

- *signing* well the intention is what counts

• well this way they have an advantage when they have to make an ambush

• he likes how well you get along with carl

• whenever they go to look for supplies he has you by the hand so you don't get lost

Gabriel stokes

• this man thought you were shy

• when he sat with you and talked to you you never spoke

• He thought you didn't like him until Carol told him you were mute.

• He started to get closer to you by asking if you didn't mind, you just answered no with your head.

• likes to spend time with you at church

• reads the Bible to you when you have nothing to do

- Are you sure you won't get bored?

- *Shaking his head*

- okay where was I?

• he likes to walk with you in Alexandria when it's night because he's so quiet

• gives you his bible when he goes to get supplies

• He worries when you leave but when you return he is very happy and hugs you.

Merle dixon

• at first he didn't realize how quiet you were and he didn't even care

• Until I started flirting with you I noticed that you never complained but you did blush.

• so I started doing it more often until I made some jokes

• one night when the others were sleeping you were outside your tents while he was talking

• until he told something funny that he saw that you were laughing but you didn't make a sound

- Hey sugar, you're mute, aren't you?

-*nodding*

- ohh I see that doesn't stop me from making you smile, don't you believe, sweetheart?

• He thinks it's an advantage that you're mute, so just like Daryln, he teaches you to be agile without being seen.

• teaches you how to use weapons while whispering double meanings in your ear

• he thinks it's better for you to sleep in his tent than in yours in case something happens and he can't hear you and why does he worry?

• fights with anyone who makes fun of your condition

• whenever they go by car to get supplies he has a hand on your thigh to calm you down

[kilibaggins]

Rough Day? | Gabriel Stokes

gabriel stokes x reader

Request From @kittennonbinary: hey, i'm wondering if you could write something cute about gabriel stokes, where his s/o had a terrible day and need cuddles, kisses, words of affirmation and being hold while sleep, please make it cute as possible, i really need cute gabe

A/N: EEEE this is my first time writing gabriel even though i literally love him so so much! hes one of my favorites and i dont see that much content for him anywhere so im happy to add to it! thank you so much for the request!!! feel free to request more if you want for gabe or other characters! i hope i did it justice!

Warnings: crying, mentions of death, fighting, stress, and i think that's it? none of the death or fighting is specifically about anyone it's just mentioned as a stresser. gabriel hums a christian song but its not really that prominent in the story.

Word Count: 979

You walk through the door, quickly taking off your coat and hanging up with a huff. You pull off your weapons and put them next to the door. Each time you put something down it makes a loud noise because of how hard you do it. When that's done you walk into the kitchen and grab a glass. You fill it up and take a big drink before putting it back down and leaning against the counter, sighing softly. Today's been… A rough day. Every day in the apocalypse is a rough day, but sometimes it just gets unbearable.

You have to take a deep breath to stop yourself from crying. Crying isn't going to fix your issues even if it'll make you feel better. The constant struggles, the death, and the fights between your own people, it's weighing on you constantly. Not many people have died lately, thankfully, but even so, it feels so suffocating knowing that it's a possibility. You can't stop it as a few tears flow down your face and you groan, annoyed. Annoyed with your feelings, with yourself, with everything.

"Rough day, huh?"

You look up to see Gabriel, who looks more relaxed than he normally does in a white T-Shirt and black pants. He walks towards you slowly, smiling gently at you. His smile always makes you relax a bit.

"Yeah," You say simply. He steps up to you and gently lays his hands on your waist. You lean forward and rest your head on his chest.

"You're okay now, Y/N," Gabriel says, bringing his arms up and around you. He gently squeezes you and you try to hold back your emotions but can't. He softly hums to you, some church hymn he knows from before the apocalypse, and it calms you down. His singing, his humming, it always calms you no matter what it is. Even if you don't believe in whatever he's singing or humming about. "Come on, you need some rest."

You let him slowly walk with you to the bedroom, his arm around your shoulder. When you get in the room he gently sits you down on a chair before searching through his own clothes to get you something to wear. You smile when he pulls out the pair that he knows you like to wear when you're having a tough time. He's so gentle with you as he takes your shirt and pulls it off and puts on the fresh one. You smile when his eyes linger slightly.

"You like what you see?" You tease, and he smiles.

"Always. You're beautiful." He says, and he helps you pull off your shoes and pants as well. "You're wonderful."

You smile and watch him as he takes your dirty clothes and puts them in the hamper. He walks back over and gently runs his fingers down your face.

"Thank you." You say, thanking him for everything. He takes your hand and pulls you up off the chair and over to the bed.

"Of course, Y/N." He gently lays you down and steps away. You reach out and grab his hand.

"Wait!" You say, and he looks back at you, "Stay."

Gabriel smiles and leans down to kiss your forehead.

"Always, my love. I'll be back shortly. I'm getting you some water and fruit." Gabriel says, and you relax. "I'll be back soon."

Gabriel keeps to his word and in no time he's back in the room, a large glass of water and a small bowl of fruit in his hands. He comes over and sits on the bed, putting the bowl of fruit between the two of you. You sit up and he hands you the water.

"Where'd you get the fruit?" You ask, and Gabriel smiles jokingly.

"A magician never tells his secrets," Gabriel says, laughing. You laugh and shake your head.

"Is it magic or awesome priest-talking skills?" You tease, taking a fruit and eating it. Gabriel shakes his head and laughs.

"No, no, a few people owed me," Gabriel says, nodding. You laugh softly and lean against him, your head on his shoulder.

"Everyone owes you." You say earnestly and he smiles and kisses your head.

"I love you." He says, grabbing a piece of fruit and eating it. You smile and hum happily.

"I love you too…" You say, closing your eyes.

A few moments later, Gabriel holds out the bowl to you and bumps your hand with it. You open your eyes and take the last pieces of fruit out and put them in your mouth. Gabriel puts the bowl to the side and gives you your water again.

"Gabe, you don't have to mother-hen me." You tease and he brings his hand up to your face and gently traces the side of it.

"You deserve this. You deserve to be taken care of. You're worthy of every good thing… And right now life is hard and you might be having a difficult time, and maybe you've even made a few mistakes that you have a hard time forgiving yourself for… But we're human. And you? You're flawless in my eyes." Gabriel says, gently pulling you close. He lays the both of you down and pulls you to his chest. "I love you. You're the most important thing in this world."

You bury your face in his chest to hide how emotional his words have made you. Sometimes you really need to hear these things and Gabriel always knows when and how to say them. He's always there for you and he's always willing to listen and comfort you.

"I love you too, Gabriel." You say, wrapping your arm around his torso. "Thank you."

"For what, Y/N?" He asks, rubbing his hand up and down your back.

"For this. For being here for me, for everything… For loving me."

"Y/N, love, You make it easy."

You fall asleep in his arms feeling safe and loved.

[pikmingrubb]

TWD X FTM!Reader

Pairings: Gabriel Stokes x ftm!reader

Tags: funny, sfw, kissing

“Come on !” Daryl groaned as he chased you across the grass, his fingers just out of reach as he tried grabbing your collar. Your feet slipped through the grass as you hauled ass through Alexandria’s backyards, hopping a local fence and skidding on the other side. You bolted down two houses and ran for the church, hoping he hadn’t seen you pass that direction. You knew you couldn’t run forever, but maybe if you hid around you could avoid him long enough that he wouldn’t be pissed at you once he finally found you. 

It was a hope anyway. 

You barged into the church, closing the doors rapidly and glancing around, your eyes immediately met a familiar face. Shit, you hoped maybe he wouldn’t be here. 

“Is…Everything okay?” Gabriel said, a concerned look gracing his features, he didn’t seem as concerned as he observed the large grin on your face. 

“I have to hide. I’m not here, okay?” You said quickly pushing past him and ducking under his desk crawling into the hiding space. He made a strange sound of surprise as you ducked down there, his footsteps rapidly approaching, you watched as he bent down to peer at you. You just observed his face a little, admiring his soft features. 

“...Who are you hiding from?” He asked in a hushed tone, his one good eye looking around as if he’d see them pop out of nowhere. 

“I uh, made Daryl pissed, okay?” You say quietly, trying to shoo him away, Gabriel just blinked at you, his lips parting as if to say something. “...Really?” He asked sounding exasperated, he swore you were like a little kid who just broke someone’s window and now was hiding from being punished. 

You raised your brows and waved your hand at him again, panic rising in your chest that he would give away your hiding spot.

“Okay then…” He stood up and sighed a little, you just grinned and shrunk back into the space, trying not to breathe too heavily as you caught your breath again. 

Just then you heard the church doors fling open, Gabriel was still standing near the desk, and you felt your heart drop… Uh oh, Daryl had already sniffed you out. 

“Oh, Daryl, has Rick called a meeting?” He asked patiently, ignoring Daryl’s huffing form, he could tell he was mad, but he brushed it off. 

“You seen that lil’ brat?” Daryl’s voice snapped, looking around for any sign of you, you practically held your breath.

There was a slight pause between the two, you imagined Gabriel giving Daryl a confused look. Please for the love of god, please play along… You begged inside your head. 

“I’m sorry, I’ve been in here working on stuff alone this whole time.” You heard Gabriel chuckle a little after saying this, his voice sounded sincere. “Also, I’m not sure who the brat is that you’re looking for.” He said gently, Daryl practically rolled his eyes at him. He felt something was off, but Gabriel didn’t give him time as he sat down at his desk and pulled himself closer. 

Your eyes widened as you saw Gabriel’s legs come into view, he blocked out most of the light and shielded your body from Daryl’s possible gaze if he decided to go snooping around in here. You tried to make yourself smaller as he scooted closer. His hand came down and rested on his knee, giving you a raised hand sign, a little ‘don’t move until I say it’s clear’. 

“You’re a terrible liar,” Daryl’s quiet voice sounded through the quiet church, your blood went cold. Gabriel just chuckled a little giving a shrug, “Okay, you got me. He ran through here and went out the back window, I was supposed to distract you.” He admitted to him, a perfect lie, you practically grinned at his quick lies on your behalf. 

“You might still catch him, he’s probably gonna hide in Rick’s house.” He commented, you watched quietly as he leaned over the desk, you heard the scratch of a pen against paper. Daryl cursed a little and you heard his heavy boot steps retreat back outside, you stayed perfect still watching Gabriel’s hand still stay posed up. His fingers relaxed a little, giving you a little thumbs up. 

You let out a deep laugh as he scooted back allowing you to pop back up, he was also grinning like an idiot. 

“What did you do?” Gabriel asks gently, his hand resting on your head and fluffing your hair. You just gave him big puppy dog eyes while you rested your chin on his knee. 

“Nothing…” You mumbled softly, avoiding his raised brow as if scorning you with his eyes would make you spill your sins. He was a priest…but you for sure weren’t spilling anything to him. 

He just sighed and continued patting your head as he leaned back into the chair, “He’s right, you are a brat.” He chuckled teasingly at you, his fingers brushing down the side of your face. 

You just whined at him and leaned into his touch, “So…” You grumbled a little, Gabriel just laughed and gave you a little kiss on the forehead. “What am I gonna do with you?” He said slowly, brushing his thumb over your bottom lip, you just gave him a pouting look from on the floor. 

“Kiss me?” You suggested with a small blush, you got up on your knees and leaned forward, Gabriel just leaned in with you. His hands gently grasped the side of your head and the back of your neck, lips brushing against your own gently. You pushed against his a little rougher, giving him an open mouth kiss and peppering his face with kisses.

He opened his eyes a little and stared down at you as you pulled back, his thumb still brushing over your cheek as he looked into your eyes. You blinked slowly, admiring his little grin, you brought your hand up to cover his with your own. You pulled his hand away and kissed his fingers, looking up at him through your lashes.  

“Love you,” Your voice breaks the silence as you stand up and lean down to hug him, his arms circle around your back as he also stands up allowing him to embrace you back. His hands stroke your head as you nuzzle into his chest. 

Completely ignoring the harsh gaze of Daryl through the window. Oh well, he could yell at you later.

[mx-pastelwriting]

𝙁𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙂𝙖𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙡 𝙎𝙩𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙨

𝙍𝙚𝙙*=𝙎𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙎𝙢𝙪𝙩/𝙇𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙣/𝙈𝙞𝙣𝙤𝙧𝙨 𝙙𝙤 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩!

𝙊𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚~=𝙁𝙡𝙪𝙛𝙛

𝙋𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙡𝙚^= 𝙉𝙤𝙩 𝙁𝙡𝙪𝙛𝙛 𝙤𝙧 𝙎𝙢𝙪𝙩

𝙊𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙨/𝙎𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨

Nothing...

𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨

How to tell you~ GN! Reader

Summary: How you started dating them.

Warnings: Fluff, Establishing a Relationship

♥ mx-pastelwriting does not consent to their work being copied, translated, or reposted on any other platform without permission.

[havin-fun-imagining-twd]

Still beating

What - dealing with grief as the dust finally starts to settle. Dealing with grief regarding one specific character's death in particular. You know the one.

Genre - heavier, but we get devoted husband/father Daryl out of the mix. And we don't end the chapter on a bummer, never fear. This ain't a French movie, slowpokes

Relationships - wife Reader and husband Daryl as well as your baby. Familial affection with Rick, and that balance between friend and clergy for Father Gabriel.

Perspective - 3rd POV Daryl, and 2nd POV You

Pronouns - she/her

When - time jump! we've briefly hopped to post season 8, pre season 9 (but before The best kind of damn weird). This chapter takes place during the earlier phases of recovery and rebuilding after the war. The previous chapter, Scary as a sleepy kitten, took place during season 2.

TWs - grief, PTSD (including after SA), depression, self-loathing, and some cussing. This chapter is also kinda lengthy, friends, and had to have exposition. (Might should've sliced the chapter in half, but then we'd have another two-parter on our hands :P)

But how long though? - ...20 minutes or so?

Story references and Masterlist link? - under the cut

And is there a pic at the end as a prize for finishing? - yes :D

Have fun and happy reading!

References to other chapters - what we learned in The Interview. There is also grieving/anger as seen in The first Christmas 'without' Part 2 and its conclusion in I don't hate you, a happy reference to Happy 8th of July!, reference to those lovely tugging strings as found in Invisible Tugging Strings, Part 1 and Part 2 (Part 2 I reckon is still glitched and showing as labeled mature, the poor thing's been cleared about 7ish times via help ticket XD ).

There are a lot more details you might recognize, pop on by to the Official Masterlist here, or for those who prefer linear over non-linear, the Chronological Slowpoke Masterlist here

-----------------------

Still beating

She was doing real bad. The past few days had been especially bad. Grief has nasty ways of settling in and rearing its ugly head.

He didn’t know too much about what to do to help her, he’d never been good at that stuff. And there was no fixing all that happened, especially not when the last thing that happened was the worst thing that could’ve.

Other than if TJ or Judith died, it was the worst thing. And part of his wife died right alongside Carl.

Hell, she’d been the one to wait after Carl died, then turned, to pull the trigger.

Now, she felt dead, too.

Gabe had to suggest that she check her pulse when it got bad enough.

Just then, TJ started to wriggle and hum in an attempt to root at Daryl's bicep, which pulled him out of his worry for a second.

Gently, he began to bounce to try and keep his baby lulled. He knows Y/N wanted to breastfeed only to get her production up (and so TJ’s suckle could get stronger after the surgery), but Y/N was finally asleep.

Beginning with when Denise was killed, Y/N hadn’t been making as much as she first had. Then, the Saviors stopped the RV and surrounded them, and Negan did what he did. Then Daryl himself got taken away, then there was all the fighting.

And then Carl died.

Getting her milk to come back had been proving damned hard.

A handful of not-very-good times, they’d supplemented what milk she did make with watered-down formula and/or watered-down goat's milk.

One very bad time, they’d used sugar water to fill the babies’ bellies until Jesus got back with goat's milk. Just the one time they had to use sugar water, everybody made damn sure of that.

For now, Daryl could crack into what was still left of the goat's milk in the cooler, right? The two women in the Kingdom who had little guys had sent over actual breast milk with Carol a few days ago, but it was used up yesterday. That stuff had been a God-send, he couldn’t thank the ladies enough.

Between the two babies in Alexandria, TJ and Gracie, everyone had to be smart about using what formula was left. And given that the power got cut, keeping the goat's milk fresh was another problem, hence the cooler.

There was still a shit ton of clean-up had since the Saviors nabbed Alexandria’s storage, then firebombed the town. To make things worse, those assholes had their own compound destroyed, and Hilltop and the Kingdom got screwed, too. Even the beach women took another beating. Hell, and them junkyard people were literally all fucking gone except their leader chick.

So, Y/N breastfed the two babies as much she was physically able because there was no other option right now, all while working as the only other doc left standing in all five communities; she was running herself into the ground.

And with Carl gone…

It ain’t fair that she couldn’t make enough — it was Negan’s goddamned fault.

Which leads to what just went on: so Mich had told him, Y/N’d lashed out at Negan and the new doctor kid with the facial hair, what was his name, Sidney?

Daryl hadn’t been at the infirmary when it happened, but, according to Mich, she’d had to pull her out of the room. Once out, Y/N asked her about TJ, Judith, and Gracie to make sure they were safe, then disappeared after Mich had turned around. Straight up and bolted.

Daryl had checked the escape-closet first, but she wasn’t in there or the attic it connected to, wasn't on the roof that lead to.

He’d then checked the burned church. She’d been there, he recognized her boot prints, but she'd moved on. From there, he was able to follow her sooty tracks in the direction of the place he should’ve known to check first.

Sure enough, Y/N'd been at Carl’s grave.

His wife could barely look at him when he approached. He'd simply kissed her on the head and quietly walked her back home. Once home, he'd cleaned and bandaged her hand while she, again, tried to pump enough for TJ and Gracie.

Mich had told Daryl she’d get Rick for her, so he’d be here soon.

Daryl wracked his brain, he even prayed to learn what do to try to help carry Y/N through this shit.

At first, Y/N’d been pacing around the room, crying but trying not to, arms wrapped around her picture frame with a photo of Carl in it as if it was the only thing keeping her afloat.

He'd been able to persuade her to lay down, and ended up laying in bed with her and holding her tight, TJ next to them in little bassinet.

Initially, him holding her and pressing kisses to her neck had made her feel worse. More guilty, that is. A handful of days ago, something got into her head that she needed to give him a damn "annulment."

Nah, for real, she’d even said (to Gabe) that the two of them not having ever done the deed yet was "grounds" to give him one. “Grounds to free him,” were her exact words. It was a whole thing, and the couple of failed attempts at trying to do the deed after getting hitched some months back probably made her feel worse.

Father Gabriel had Daryl's back the whole time during the conversation, though, decent dude.

And no, Daryl wasn’t angry or even real hurt that she’d thought she had to ‘free him’ and shit, he knows it was the grief and physical exhaustion that got her to that point. His woman had full-on blacked out and hurt herself that day, which is why he'd brought her to Gabe in the first place.

But the, um, the walls were thinner than Daryl had expected, which is how he overheard from the person that he was gonna love and stay with and stay faithful to until he dropped dead softly confess that she was “selfish” to keep him “stuck” with a “batshit m-mess” like her and “a baby that ain’t his.”

The fact that Y/N kept maintaining how much she loved him and how she didn’t want no annulment helped it hurt less when she’d sounded just about convinced that it was “loyalty to me ’cause we’re close, loyalty to Rick,” and because of “he’s got so much shame. He feels responsible for what the Claimers did,” that made him marry her those months ago. "He loves our ch—my child, and might love me, but it's not fair to him. He deserves better, h-he needs better, the man's been trapped all his life. I-I don't want him trapped, I want him happy!"

Gabe never played into her fears. He been no nonsense about all of it, told Y/N that she needed a damn rest, and asked her to tell him what she thought about it when she woke up.

The good thing was that after a 5 hour period of uninterrupted sleep (during which they used some of the goat's milk for TJ and Gracie), she woke up in a daze at why she’d thought an annulment was something Daryl needed or wanted.

The bad thing was, she was then socked in the gut with more unearned guilt for it, then with worry that she was too far gone, or crazy, all that.

Been a bad, bad few days.

Been a lot of Daryl showing her love that she felt not worth being shown. So that she fell asleep in his arms today was such a damn win!

After getting up to take a leak and finding that Y/N was miraculously still asleep, he thanked whoever was up there, then tried to figure out what else he could do to help her get through today…and right at that moment, TJ started to rouse, so he got his answer: keep their baby comforted. More shut-eye could only do his woman well.

Deftly lifting the little bundle into his arms, he'd kissed the scar above the baby’s upper lip and tiptoed out to the hall, where he was now.

Lightly he bounced, softly he shushed. He held TJ like a football and moved back and forth, back and forth. Babies smell so damn good, and make the cutest damn noises!

After a couple minutes, through the open door, he peeked at his Y/N.

Shit. She was already sitting up and blinking off the sleep.

Whatever it was she did and said today, she felt low as hell about it, that much was clear. Without looking, she grabbed the now-broken picture frame and clutched it to her middle.

"You're supposed to be asleep, slowpoke," he tried to tease.

Her clothes had ashes from where it looked like she’d knelt down then sat down in the burned church. There was some dirt on them, too, from when she’d been at Carl’s grave. Daryl made a note to shake the sheets out later and pick the tissues up off the floor.

That's when the front door opened downstairs.

Was that Ri—good, that was Rick’s voice, he was finally there. There was a second voice, too, was that Father Gabriel’s? It was soft like Gabe's voice was.

Daryl looked downstairs.

Yup, it was Rick with the rev.

He waved them upstairs, but it must’ve been the clunking of the Gabriel’s new cane that got Y/N stumbling out of the room.

“Rev! I would’ve come to you, y-you need to be takin’ it easy.” She hugged the picture frame in one hand, gripped the banister in the other and started to go downstairs, asking Gabe how he felt, urging him to sit down, had his vision worsened, all that stuff.

“Y/N, more rest won’t stop me from losing sight in this eye,” Gabriel responded in his quiet way, remaining on the second step, not going up or down the stairs. He smiled. “You could say I’m the one making a house call to a patient this time."

She held back a sob and bowed her head. Then, she subtly slipped two fingers around the inside of her wrist…

Rick stepped the rest of the way up the stairs and put his hands on her shoulders. “What's going on, weirdo?”

“Ricky, I'm s-sorry."

He leaned closer and took her in for a hug. “Heart still beating?” he murmured.

Her inhale was shaky. “Mmhm. Yours?”

“Beating strong.”

TJ perked up and began to whimper upon hearing her voice. Y/N unzipped her hoodie to—she still had a gun on her?

Okay, that'd been stealth as fuck, it hadn't even been printing. He'd been literally holding her, how had he not noticed?

Daryl shared a glance with Gabe. Minus her screwdriver, she'd turned in her weapons after what happened the other day.

Y/N handed the small gun to Rick, who looked wary, but accepted it without question. She hesitated before reaching into her boot to hand over her screwdriver, too.

Daryl slid his hand around his wife’s waist to guide her back to the room. Without looking him in the eyes, she cupped his cheek and told him he was a good father. Then, frame still gripped under one arm, she took the baby into the other.

“Let’s try havin’ a snack before I go with Uncle Ricky awhile, okay, chickpea?” she murmured, then unbuttoned the top of her shirt.

Daryl took off his vest to give her some more coverage. When he draped the vest around her, she turned her head to kiss his hand. He felt his cheeks warm when she did that.

Walking into the room again, she softly told Daryl that he and Rick could sit on the beds. First, she placed the picture frame on one of the mattresses. Next, she took TJ and went beside the end table at the window to sit down on the floor beside it. The way she sat, it was kinda as if she were using it as a shield.

“Rev, please take the chair,” she mumbled to Gabriel with a glance at the only piece of furniture in the room at the time, other than the bassinet, a nightstand, and the end table. Negan had specifically left the rocking chair as a 'gift' for her. The piece of shit...

Anyway, Daryl had got them their two twin mattresses back (hey, squish them together and you get a big-ass bed) the first trip to and from the Savior’s compound after the war ended, once the Alexandrians had begun to move back from the Hilltop. Only, no bed frames yet.

“And sweetheart, I’ll-I’ll take the pumps with me for while I’m in there. Wanna make sure you and Aaron have enough for them,” she said to him, voice still raw. Y/N turned to him and gave him a wobbly smile. “Sorry I used up so much of the tissue supply,” she tried making light, but got close to tears again, so stumbled through asking “Can I, um, Rick, m-might can I bring my pillow? Is that okay?”

Go with Rick where, and take the breast pumps and her pillow, why? He made eye contact with Gabriel, who looked just as puzzled. So, he turned to Rick.

Rick lowered his eyebrows as if he didn’t know what she meant, either. He squatted to sit down on the mattress beside Daryl, and looked at his sister. “Y/N, where are we headed?”

Glancing up from the baby to him then to Daryl, she adjusted TJ’s position on her breast while she figured out how to answer, by the looks of it. Another glance at her husband as if she were worried about his reaction...

“Rick, I thought you was here to…escort me?”

?

Daryl had no clear idea what she meant, it was the rev who understood first.

“No,” Father Gabriel told her gently. “Y/N, you aren’t under arrest.”

Under arrest? Daryl fought between the urge to get angry or dead-ass laugh. 'Under arrest??'

It was for real, though. His wife’s tears started flowing again as she turned her attention to Rick and began to stress, “There can’t be no special treatment—”

“—Is this why you handed me your weapons? Why would you be under arrest?” Rick cut her off to question.

She stared as if he’d grown antlers. “I s-struck a patient, and, and—”

“—And I slit his throat open, which is why that 'patient' is in there in the first place,” he cut her off again, firm.

Thankfully, TJ let out a wail the same time mama wailed, “Ricky, y-you weren’t his medic!” pausing any further arguing.

Y/N gulped, pressed down on one breast, then the other. “I know there’s not much in ’em, Teddy-bear, but it-it’ll get better. It’ll come back,” she shushed, lifting him up and tucking herself back in. With a few kisses, she shushed, “You’ve gotten so much faster at drinking, babycakes”

Daryl got on the floor with her and took TJ back.

She avoided eye-contact again, and her lip wobbled again as she pulled the top of her shirt higher. That told him there’d been not much milk in there. And he could see all over her face that it was switching her on the legs with more false-ass, unearned guilt.

The familiar string in his chest suddenly tugged in her direction—next thing, he was resting his forehead on hers. “Hey. You’re makin’ more every day, angel,” he whispered in her ear. "And you're a damn good ma."

The way her expression softened and her body relaxed toward his felt better than fireworks going off on the Fourth 8th of July.

And as if he were back in that Georgia-in-July heat, Daryl just about melted right there on the floor when he saw his TJ, neck lifted high, making a face-scrunching, gummy smile at him. "Look how strong your neck is getting, ’lil badass, you’re rockin’ it!”

Shit, their kid was the best damn thing.

Y/N leaned against him and reached to lightly fluff their baby’s hair and rub their baby's teeny feet.

Gabriel sat in the rocking chair quietly, hands resting on his cane. He caught eyes with Daryl and nodded his head toward Y/N, glad to see her no longer convinced she needed to ‘free’ her husband.

Absorbed in the photo, Rick exhaled, then spoke up. “Y/N, how about we start from the beginning? What happened at the infirmary?”

She pressed tighter against Daryl as a pained noise left her throat. “Did you talk to Siddiq yet?” sounded very small.

“I want to talk to both of you.”

“And Michonne?”

He nodded. “She told me some.”

The big watch she’d kept from Dale tick-tick-ticked on her wrist. Then came the sound of light metallic clinking. Daryl didn’t have to look to see that she must’ve pulled out her brother’s necklace and was tugging on it.

“What I did ain’t excusable,” came out raspy and thick.

“It is," Rick answered.

“It’s not, especially not what I said to Sid—” a sob choked her response. She used Daryl's leather vest to hide her face before hugging it around herself like a blanket.

“Walk me through what happened first, kiddo, before you hit Negan with this?” Rick subtly gestured to the broken picture frame.

So she had smacked Negan in the face? Hot damn, Daryl was more in love with her already.

Y/N swallowed and shook her head. “They’d been lookin’ at it, the both of 'em.”

“At the picture?”

A tiny nod. “I’d left the room, and when I got back, they was looking at it. Siddiq brought it over to him. Tried to make like Negan was sad, too. Fuck that!”

TJ started rooting on his bicep again, but Daryl was on it. “Sorry, pipsqueak, I don’t got the right parts for that.” He started to massage the baby’s belly, and TJ quieted.

“It’s okay to let ’em cry a little, it-it helps restock these,” his wife tried joking, nodding down at her chest.

“Y/N.” Rick was delicate about coaxing her for more details. “You got back into the room, Siddiq and Negan were looking at the picture.”

“Negan’s filthy hands were on it,” she grit. "Lookin' at Carl and me, you with Shaney." The sounds of the pendant being pulled across the chain filled the room along with TJ’s soft cooing.

“Is that when you hit him with the frame?” Rick asked.

“No. I told him not to look at it again or touch it, and if he did, I’d hurt him.”

“Angel, slow your breathin’,” Daryl interjected at the same time that he figured out why those words sounded familiar: it was similar to how she'd warned the last Claimer fuckhead, the one who’d had Carl pinned down and was gon——Daryl shut down this brain for a sec, it was best not to think about that night.

He turned his head to see Rick, red-eyed, tracing his thumb along the photo of Carl, Y/N, Shane and him. Seems as if Rick had recognized her words, too.

“And when was it that you did hurt him?” Rick pressed on.

Y/N swallowed. “About half a minute later when he tried to act like it wasn’t his fault.”

Rick’s composure staggered and collapsed. His voice was hoarse when he managed to say, “It’s not his fault.”

But Y/N was fast to shut it down. “Don’t for one more second make like it’s yours, Ricky, you get that monkey off your back,” she comforted and somehow scolded both at once. “Negan was doing what Negan does when he, when he told you that. It was manipulation, nothin’ real. How C-Carl—” another choked-down sob, more tears.

Daryl noticed her press her fingertips to the spot under her chin, beside her jaw, checking her pulse to prove it was still beating.

“Negan had nothing to do with how Carl got bit,” Rick whispered. “You know it’s true, kiddo.”

“No—our boy wouldna ended up out there, w-with-with Siddiq, if it hadn’t been for Negan.” Her tone got louder and angry, her stress stutter became more noticeable, the way she tugged the necklace turned rougher. “He and his followers was why we weren’t able to trust no n-newcomers like Sid, which is why Sid was still out there alone, and, and, and why Carl went to him! It, it was because of Negan and his, and his, his-his cult!”

TJ seemed freaked out by the louder voice, the baby’s dark, blue-black eyes grown big.

Daryl spoke Y/N’s name to try and bring her back to herself, but she seemed to have very suddenly calmed.

She was blinking at her hand.

Daryl looked, and then saw the two halves of her brother Shane’s chain, broken.

“How many times did Carol warn me that this would happen when I tugged it,” she muttered to herself. "Good thing I didn't decide to tug on the rosary, huh?"

Inhaling, she leaned her head against the wall behind her, staring into space, fingers to her wrist to check her pulse again.

From beside her, he covered her hand in his. Then, pressing his lips to her fist, Daryl took the necklace from it. He could fix it.

“I lost my temper again, I’m sorry,” she spoke to all in the room, her hand cupping Daryl's cheek a moment. Then, more quietly, she looked at Rick. “How many days’ll I be in there?”

Which sent Daryl straight back to disbelief he was hearing those words, what absolute bullshit. “Y/N, you ain’t going nowhere.”

“You’re not going to a cell, Y/N,” Rick echoed.

“No special treatment,” she softly repeated. “If I were anybody else—”

Rick interrupted her “—It’s not about who you are.”

Father Gabriel had gotten up and was making his way to Y/N by then.

Y/N shook her head at the conversation, tired. “If I were anybody else or had any other orle, and if he were anybody else,” she caught her breath, “there’d be reper-re-rep—” a few more tries, and she had to choose a different word, “consequences. Assault and battery on an un-unarmed person—a patient—from their medical provider, that’s serious.” Her hand was back to covering her face. She sat pressed against the wall, knees at her chest.

“You and Siddiq are the only doctors left. We couldn’t just put you in a cell even if you had earned it.”

“I ain't a doctor, at best, I’m a medic,” she grunted. “And I did earn it, just ask him and Michonne. As for my,” she made a shaky inhale, “my duties, I can be escorted out.”

“And TJ? Gracie?” Daryl put out there, hoping to guilt her out of insisting she get jail time, like, what the fuck. What kind of conversation was this?

Screw this, he couldn't even sit. He stood, shaking his head and pacing around the room, still holding TJ.

The expression on Y/N's face should’ve been enough to calm him down, along the defeated, quiet way she reasoned, “I’ll pump and y’all will visit. It’s—no, sweetheart—it’s only for a few days,” when he started to dead-ass leave. As if her being in there ‘only for a few days’ would help this bullshit make sense.

But that’s when he ended up snapping, “This is goddamn bullshit! You bopped a sick fuck on the nose with a picture frame, who the fuck will care? Rick, why you even entertainin' this shit?” and he regretted doing so as soon as he barked it out.

The old, invisible knee rammed him in the nards harder when Rick cautioned, "Brother," and Gabe finally opened his mouth, and louder than Daryl had ever heard him speak. “She cares, Daryl. So do I.”

And to make it all worse, their baby had given a start in fear when he’d shouted, and now the poor kid was screaming—and TJ doesn’t scream, shit, shit, he blew up while holding his child?

“M’sorry! M’sorry," he hushed to his baby, "I love you so much, kid, I’m so sorry I scared ya. I ain’t gonna hurt ya.” With a kiss on TJ’s wild head of hair, he murmured, “Pipsqueak, your old man is an idiot.”

Y/N rushed over when TJ screamed, but she didn’t take the baby away from Daryl. Instead, she caressed her husband’s forearm and the tricep and spoke to their child. “Your daddy’s got you safe,” she soothed.

He knew she was trying to look him in the eyes, but he couldn’t return it. He’d just scared an infant because he couldn’t check his temper. Their infant.

His wife’s quiet assurance cut through the rushing in his head. “Daryl? TJ ain’t hurt, sugar, and you’re not a bad father. Do some skin to skin, okay?” She pecked a kiss on his cheek. “And that's a dollar for cussing, pay up later.”

She then sat back down on the floor next to where the rev had made his new seat. Daryl took the now-empty rocking chair, unbuttoned his and TJ’s shirts, then nestled the kid on his chest.

Y/N then told the room the rest of what happened, how after Negan croaked out with what voice he had left, saying it 'wasn’t his fault Carl was dead', that she’d turned around and whacked him across the face with the frame.

Siddiq had reacted by grabbing her shoulders from behind to pull her away from Negan — so she had shoved back and kneed him in the dick plus rammed her head against his, dropping the frame in the process. The frame broke as a result—and when it broke, she'd lost her cool, said some shit, and threw some shit. Mich heard the hubbub and intervened, then Y/N hid herself away cause she 'knew' she was 'gone crazy.'

As far as Daryl was concerned, the new doc was lucky all he got was a shove, a knee to jewels, a clunk on the head, and some words and maybe a clipboard thrown at him, because Y/N could fight damned well. She'd had it drilled into her how and when to do it. Freely taught others moves, too.

When she’d showed Carol some techniques, way back, it was one of the things that sent him falling for her.

And…Y/N might’ve not said it out loud, but when she described how Siddiq grabbed her from behind to pull her away, everyone in that room got why it caused her to react strong.

What she described herself as doing would’ve been instinct.

Siddiq wouldn’t know why. Negan might, the fucker had watched the tape of her Deanna interview.

“See?” Y/N blew her nose again, sniffed, and stared at the floorboards. “It’s not right to Sid or the community to, to have what I did go unchecked. And what I said to Siddiq was so cruel. What’s worse is I meant it. Fuck, I still do.”

What she'd said was basically that she wished he’d gotten bit instead of Carl, and that it was just as much Siddiq's fault that the boy was dead as it was Negan’s. That 'he should be dead.'

She grimaced, then caressed the watch on her wrist. Must’ve been thinking of Dale. “Ain’t fair to…Negan, neither. If there’s anything Carl taught us, it’s that,” she whispered.

Rick lifted the frame to kiss his son’s picture, wiped a couple tears away. “When I talked with Sid, he was…alarmed. Worried. He thought it was off-character.”

Y/N went rigid where she sat. “Siddiq wasn’t there two years ago.”

Daryl lifted the baby higher on his chest and snuggled closer.

Rick shook his head. “You wishing someone dead, or, dead instead of another, is very off-character, it’s not you. No—don’t shake your head, Y/N.” Her brother maintained, “Even back then, after what happened, you didn’t wish me dead. You wished that Shane was still alive, not that I was dead instead. Even if you did say those things, it wouldn't have been the truth, just the hurt speaking.”

“I attacked you and told you I would kill you. And I-I meant it at the time, you know that.”

“And for a couple days, you left, because you didn’t actually want that. You knew it was wrong.”

“Which is why I need to get put away for a couple days. I decided to hurt a patient and his doctor, my own fr—” She wasn’t able to say what was probably the word ‘friend.’ Y/N bit her lip, and continued, “Then hurled words at him what nobody should get hurled at them.” She swallowed a cuss and grabbed another tissue.

“You’re exhausted, Siddiq knows that.” Rick pointed out. “We’re not ourselves when we’re—”

Y/N wasn’t having it. Probably too exhausted, to tell the truth.

“We’re all exhausted. C’mon, man, you just lost your son!” A sob left her and she tried to breathe through her nose. Checked her pulse again.

“You were also reacting to how he yanked you back, kiddo. That's not nothing.”

Daryl gave Rick a warning glance.

Rick saw, nodded, and held up a hand, which made Y/N turn to see what Daryl was doing. But Daryl simply kissed TJ on the head, not saying nothing.

She wasn’t fooled. When Y/N looked back at Rick after giving her husband a look of it’s okay, Daryl gave Rick another warning glare, then a nod.

“You didn’t react like that without reason, Y/N. There’s no shame to admit it was a trigger.”

She grumbled at the word. “Trauma ain’t an excuse to traumatize others.” After exhaling, she ran her hands over her face and took a moment. Hardly louder than a whisper, she challenged, “Ricky, not all my problems stem from the rapes. I’ve always been too hot-headed.”

At that moment, Daryl wanted to scoop her and TJ up and drive them away from everything, keep the two of them safe and unbothered for a month or two or four.

“Getting grabbed like that m-might, y’know, might could’ve reminded me of it—when they—" She ran a hand through her hair. "Okay, it did get me going. But, I,” she paused. “It wasn’t that I saw red or blacked out, I chose to keep goin’ once I’d started. I threw stuff because I was raging, I didn't want to stop because I thought he deserved it.”

Y/N fiddled with Dale’s watch, and turned to Father Gabriel beside her and almost smiled at him, close to the way she used to smile at Glenn, as if he were in on a joke. “Here I’d hoped I was re-domesticated by now.”

“Let us give thanks that you’re still housebroken,” he responded, taking Daryl by surprise. "You're...still housebroken, are you not?"

The way Y/N then cracked up and grinned woke up the butterflies in his stomach.

“Y/N, you’ve come miles since I first met you,” Gabriel told her softly, smiling back.

“All the way from Georgia,” she joked back, then grew more serious. “You’ve grown a whole lot, too.” She wiped her eyes, and Gabe closed his.

“And Y/N,” he shook his head. “You aren’t losing your humanity. I know you’re frightened of that, after what you told me happened to your other brother.”

It hadn’t even registered in Daryl’s mind that Shane’s memory would be scaring her. She loved her brother like hell, but she was always terrified of going down the same path he did.

He looked to Rick to see what his reaction was. His reaction was tear-rimmed eyes and a nod of his head toward TJ, silently asking if he could hold the baby awhile. Daryl nodded, Rick stood, and returned Y/N the frame as he walked by to pick up the little one.

Hands empty, Daryl took out his army knife and the broken chain from his pocket so he could fix his woman’s necklace. Wasn’t gonna be hard.

He heard Y/N whisper, “Hey, punk. Miss you. Miss you, too, loser.” He let his eyes travel to where she sat under the window, and watched her kiss the picture and well up. It was the old one of her and preschool-age Carl photobombing Rick and Shane, after one of them got some kind of cop award.

Clutching it once more to her belly, she and Father Gabriel then started to talk in low voices with one another.

“The red haze in your right sclera is so close to begin' clear. Did you talk to Rosie today? She’s been seeming less depressed.”

“I thought this was me visiting my patient, not the other way around,” Gabe gently hinted. “Y/N, please talk to me.”

Daryl heard her sniffle. “Rev, but I don’t want to have meant those words. I’ve been workin’ on it. It-it might be his fault, but I know he’s innocent, he’s humane—Sid even counts walkers like I do, man, yet still, I—” her breathing shuddered. “After whatever this mess is kicked in, every time I see him now, I hate him. Why do I hate a decent person?”

“Grief,” he offered simply. He gave her another shrug and small smile. “Keep doing what you have been. It will get easier every day, the same way your, um,” he was careful about his wording regarding her tits, “that you have more for the little ones every day.”

She huffed but didn’t raise her voice again, she stayed quiet as could be. “It don’t feel like none of that’s happening.”

“Our perception of things doesn’t always equal the truth, Y/N.” Gabe seemed to take a moment. Maybe he was praying.

Y/N’s fingers found her pulse again.

“We are all healing,” Gabriel next said, and smiled again. “Your heart is still beating, is it not?”

Y/N stared for a few moments, caught in the act. Eyes meeting Daryl’s for a moments, she removed her fingers from her neck, and inclined her head at the reverend. “What about yours?” she asked softly.

“Still beating. And that’s the proof,” he assured her just as softly. “Y/N, as for the way you understand your actions and your emotions toward him as not being right, I would like you to take it as a comforting sign. And, you just handed over a weapon you plainly wanted to keep concealed, you didn’t use said weapon to hurt Negan, either,” he pointed out, for which Daryl was grateful. “Perhaps, if you begin to make excuses, begin to feel no sense of having done wrong when you have, I will worry.”

Weirdly enough, he next grinned up at the ceiling. “But I am not, because you are simply broken and in need of healing. You’ll get there, as will I,” he held his hand out to the room. “As will your brother, your husband. All of us.” He sighed. “So long as our hearts are still beating.”

Daryl looked back at his wife in time to see her bit her wobbling lip and nod. Her gaze turned to Rick with the baby. He was kissing TJ’s scrawny little feet.

Her face softened seeing them, and as Daryl’s stomach fluttered again, she turned to look at him. His stomach full-on did a happy flip (and, yeah, he lost his grip on the necklace’s broken link and dropped it).

Y/N said to Rick, “Well, we still need to show ’em that Alexandria—that you—are accountable and fair. How many nights will do, you think?”

Rick shook his head. “Zero. But, because you have a point and won't take 'zero' as an answer,” he quickly added, “how about one?”

“For a piggy, you’re actin’ awful chicken.”

He was unmoved by the cop joke. “Bawk, bawk.”

And Y/N laughed, for what it was worth. And it was worth everything, hot damn was that laugh the best sound.

Daryl figured he might as well check, “What about bail, that still a thing?”

“Not with you owing a whole dollar. That’ll take weeks to pay off,” she said, back to doing her best to lighten up things. He loved her so fucking much, goddamn.

“Supervision when outside the cell,” she stated to Rick.

He shook his head again. “I have a better sentence in mind. When I saw you wearing Lori’s belt earlier today, it reminded me of it. See, and you left this at the infirmary.” He reached into his jacket pocket.

Recognition swept across her face when he held it out. “Do you think he’ll feel safe?”

“The headphone cord is too thin to choke him with, it’d snap.”

“Ricky, that joke was very dark,” she lightly chided.

He squinted, kissing TJ’s feet one more time first. “I hereby sentence you to one night—”

“—Three.”

“One in lock-up,” he spoke over her, then was fast to tack on, “with Daryl and this one as guards.” He motioned to the baby.

"Women shouldn't have male guards," she dryly droned.

"Overruled. You'll also get supervised outings for your duties tomorrow and the day after, including the trip to the Hilltop for Maggie’s prenatal visit. And,” he held up the music player, “you’ll need to listen to music with Siddiq on this. We know it works.” He cocked his head. “Let’s start with 20 minutes per day, like you and I had.”

Some tears slipped out even though she was smiling. She mouthed I love you to him, then asked out loud, “How many days?”

Rick squinted. “Fourteen.”

---------------------------

You

“You pick the songs. Whatever you like,” you told him, staring at the photo and rubbing the ‘22’ pendant over your lips. Daryl fixed the chain for you shortly after you’d broken it. You really love him.

Sid accepted the mp3 player out of your hand.

You and he each had one earbud in, one apple beside you, and Michonne sat nearby with Judith. Supervision was your stipulation, yet being proactive about ensuring it had done nothing for how humiliating it was.

Still, you took an objective look and figured Siddiq should know that his safety mattered, that your people were fair and held themselves to standards.

Just looking around the place, it looked as if standards were a given here. That Alexandria’s power grid and some panels were already repaired within three weeks of Negan’s razing was almost unbelievable.

Sucks for the Saviors Cult that the community had been built to withstand up to magnitude 4.1 earthquakes and be fairly fire-safe as part of its self-sustaining (and for-politicians) model, so in the least, a good number of the homes were still standing.

Carl's gazebo was another story, as were other similar structures, like the church, but the ash had been washed off by the rain, and the communities' walls were back up.

Next to you, Siddiq asked you how to work the mp3, citing, “Carl had been the one to…”

Had been the one to work it when he borrowed it to visit you out there, in order to show you some kindness. Before he got himself bit because of you.

The words festered inside of you. Whatever. Let them fester, you felt dead anyway.

As you went to point to show him, the picture hung from your outstretched, bandaged hand. The pic you'd chosen this time was another older one from the before-times, not one of the newer polaroids. You'd been the one to take it, actually, using a disposable camera about five and a half, maybe six years ago.

It was blurry, Lori and Carl had been being silly and stopped posing, Rick was mid-comment. You loved this one.

It felt so unreal now, felt fake.

Felt dead.

You checked your pulse. Still beating.

“The, um, just use-use those two buttons there for up and down to search,” you mumbled, tucking the photograph into your shirt pocket. “That one is for back, that one for options. Press down on the middle to click.”

He went huh. “Here’s the Indian music playlist,” he chuckled. Appears he’d found the Desi Party! playlist. Carl told you he’d played it for him.

Before he’d gotten fucking bitten.

How could your heart rage and ache so much if you were dead?

“It’s got all sorts on it,” you replied blankly to Siddiq. Remembering your oldest sister who’d made all the playlists before handing her mp3 down to you, it felt like she was made up. Felt like everyone was made up, fake. Dead.

“My mother was a big filmi fan,” he shared.

But you simply repeated, “Pick to whatever you like, you���re in charge of the songs.”

There was no emotion in your voice. You didn’t want to chat with him, didn’t want to nerd out about Bollywood music, and also didn’t want to face him after saying such awful things to him early today.

Hating him felt right. It felt "deserved," which is a word you'd learned to not use, thanks to Dale.

Granted, hating Siddiq felt wrong, too, which invited shame to take a seat on your lap.

So, you followed the rev’s advice and took comfort in the shame because it meant your conscience was still ordered in a good direction. It meant you weren’t fully dead yet.

You checked your pulse again to remind yourself that it was still beating. Life was still going.

Father Gabriel had also told you that feeling dead didn’t make you a bad mother or a bad wife or bad person, it simply meant you were broken and grieving.

“Y/N?”

“What?” you growled — and immediately wished it hadn’t come out that way. In your head, you told Carl you were sorry, you’d do better next time. Then, you prayed to stop hating the sight of Siddiq, the sound of his voice. Wished Dale or Hershel or T-Dog or Deanna or Denise or Sasha were there for, for—advice, support, you don’t know…

And because the rev has enough on his plate and needs to rest, maybe later you’d risk everyone’s ire and sneak away to visit Mr. Jones at the junkyard. At least he wasn’t dead yet, too. Maybe visiting him would convince him to move back to Alexandria.

“I never apologized for pulling you backward like that,” Siddiq said to you, a little short. Couldn’t blame him.

In truth, you had done all you were going to do to Negan after smacking him the once, but Sid wouldn’t have known that. Wouldn’t have known how grabbing you like that would flip an alarm, either.

No use moping, if your positions were reversed, you’d have wrangled him back, too.

And yet, you just caught yourself licking your teeth and sneering in response to his apology.

But it wasn’t out of anger or hatred so much as…you still aren’t certain what the emotion was. Grief, depression, shame, all three. You supposed it didn’t make a difference. Didn’t feel like much of anything.

Briefly, you put two fingers to your neck to check your pulse again. Still beating. Still alive.

Alive, and needing to eat some crow, as it were.

“Don’t apologize, you were protectin’ our patient. What I did was wrong,” you recited. “I-I threatened a patient and then whacked him across the face.” Your conscience then prompted you to apologize again for what you’d said to him. “And, just—Siddiq, what I said to you was bullshit and lies and m'sorry I said it. Cruel bullshit, naught else. Don’t go believing a word of it.”

He wasn’t clicking through the playlists and songs anymore.

Appearing uncomfortable, he peeked at you before he put his attention back on the mp3. “Michonne said pulling you like that was a trigger, which is why you, um…I’m sorry,” he said again. “I didn’t know.”

First, you relaxed your jaw. “Ain’t your job to know. It’s mine to learn past it.” Next, you spackled on something of a smile and added quietly, “It’s good that you, that you stepped in. Thank you.” You did mean it, for what it was worth.

How many minutes until the twenty was up, you wondered, and tried to not be obvious about checking the time on your wrist. Eyeing Michonne, she seemed more preoccupied with Judith than with being punctual regarding your penance/sentence.

“PTSD is serious. That’s why I’m sorry, I, um,” Siddiq faltered. He went back to clicking through the music choices.

“We all have at least a little PTSD, bud.” With a light nudge to try and convey camaraderie or something, you attempted to tease, “C'mon, you chosen at least one song, yet?”

“Sorry, let me just, uh…” and with a few more clicks, the first song started. It was Bohemian Rhapsody.

“You chose the playlist ‘Songs Everyone Likes.’”

He chuckled awkwardly. “Yeah, figured I couldn’t go wrong with that one.”

The memory of belting out this song with Carl, Glenn, Beth, and Maggie before your group even found the prison whooshed back and you started to smile—until you remembered that Carl was gone now. He was dead.

You’d forgotten all of that for hot second, but your Carl was dead. So was Glenn. So was Beth. So was Lori, who'd joined, so was T-Dog, so was...

Maybe you were dead, too. You felt dead—so, you pressed your fingers to your neck to feel for a pulse.

Still beating.

The lyrics of the song began to register. You know, the early parts like ‘I don’t wanna die,’ and ‘carry on, as if nothing really matters.’ Sounded a little too personal, tell you the truth.

And just like that, the song was skipped. You glanced at Siddiq.

He shook his head. “Not the right mood for it.”

“Mm.”

The intro to the next song in the shuffle was very bouncy, and ‘Dance to the Music’ started to jive through the earbuds. You didn’t sway along like you naturally would have. No urge to.

The song played, finished.

“First time I heard this was in Shrek,” Siddiq made small talk while munching on his apple. “Love that movie.”

You might’ve hummed in acknowledgment, you aren’t sure. He handed your apple to you, you took it. Held it.

The next song started, ‘Young Hearts Run Free.’

The song played, finished.

Siddiq made more small talk. “I remember that one in Romeo + Juliet, the one with, um, Leo DiCaprio. We watched that version in high school after we finished reading it.”

You hummed again. Pressed your fingers to your wrist, just in case. But no, your heart was still beating.

The next song started, ‘Jumpin’ Jack Flash.’

“A lot of oldies,” he commented once the singing began. He took the final nibble off his apple.

“But goodies,” you responded, willing yourself to sound less stiff and monotone. “Modern stuff is on this playlist, too, don’t worry.”

The song played. Finished.

The next song started. ‘Another One Bites the Dust.’ Siddiq promptly skipped it once the refrain started and the lyrics sank in.

“Good call,” you grunted.

The next song started. ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.’

“Oh n—please skip this one, too." You loved that one, but you’d queued it up for Glenn at his and Maggie’s wedding, and it was not the time to go reminiscing. You swallowed the lump in your throat. Checked your pulse. Still beating. "Please skip 'Thunderstruck' if it comes on, too?”

The mp3 player clicked as Siddiq skipped the song. Next on the shuffle was ‘Under Pressure.’

He adjusted his seat and coughed. “This one fits.”

A combination sigh/groan was your contribution, because he was right. The two of you were the only doctors major medical personnel left standing.

The song played. Siddiq’s knees and wrists bounced to the rhythm where he sat beside you. You stared at your boots. Where’d all the soot and dirt on them and your clothes come from, you couldn’t remember…

…

It was when a strong gust of cold wind blew that you noticed that the music had stopped, your earbud was out, and the sky wasn’t as cloudy anymore.

When did that happen?

You sat up and blinked a few times, your apple still in one hand, Shane’s necklace in the other.

“Hey,” you heard Siddiq call.

What, why were your cheeks wet? “S-sorry, I,” you dropped the necklace, wiped your eyes with your sleeve, and put the apple down, “must’ve, um, checked out.”

“I’m not sure how long it was after it began when I noticed the change,” he let you know. “Is…this what happened earlier?”

You closed your eyes and shook your head. “Earlier was somethin’ else. This was just—” ‘Dissociation,’ was a misunderstood word, so Denise taught you. And you didn’t want to use the word for that reason.

You really wanted to keep a shred of dignity for yourself in the eyes of that guy. He didn’t even know that you’d hurt yourself when you’d ‘blacked out’ the other day…so, you decided upon a white lie highly euphemistic layman's term. “I spaced out.”

He nodded, but his brows sunk, as if he weren’t buying it.

And when he did that thing where someone slightly opens their mouth because they’ve put together a response, you changed the subject. “Listen to anythin’ good while I was in space?”

Siddiq wasn’t swayed. “Do you still feel detached?”

“A little,” you answered truthfully, breathing deep and checking your watch to try gauging how long you’d been out. Except, you had no recollection of what time it had been earlier, so it was a bust. God save you, you were a mess.

“Sid. I’m sorry you’re trapped dealin’ with this shit, it ain’t fair to you. If, if you wanna bounce early, don’t feel obligated to stay, and, and—like, if you don’t wanna do this whole music thing, it’s fine. W-we don’t want you feelin’ unsafe.”

“Unsafe? Y/N, I…” he paused. “I forgive you for what you said earlier. And I’m not scared of you. Hitting Negan wasn’t okay, but…” another pause. “Compared to the way most others are baying for his blood and how you defended saving his life, I mean—you helped me save him, Y/N—” He lifted his hands, palms to the sky. “You’re my friend, we work together, it’s not like I can’t see that you’re drowning.”

Nothing prepared you to hear that.

He was calling you a friend and was still trying to be understanding, after all that…

You wanted to slam your head on a hard, rough surface and cry from the shame and simultaneous relief. You also didn’t want to accept it, and so pushed back: “You were alone out there too long. Friends d-don’t tell friends they wish they were dead.” And mean it, you did not confess.

But of all things, he merely raised one shoulder and snorted. “I’m a really good friend?”

Tears spilled at the same time that you almost laughed. No, it's true, you almost laughed. Things felt a little unreal again, but in not a bad way. The most you could do right then was send up thanks for the mercy that came out of the mess. You pinched your wrist first, then felt for your pulse.

“Compared to a few minutes ago, do you feel more like yourself now?” Siddiq made sure.

Huh. You used to ask Shane a very similar question, when he was forgetting his goodness.

You kept feeling the small beats at your wrist, reminding you that you were indeed alive, therefore capable of healing and growth.

“Heart’s still beating,” you sniffled, making yourself smile at him. The hatred and disgust you’d felt earlier seemed to you less like a fact and more like a bad dream.

Then, from the far right of the oak tree, you heard Aaron’s voice saying, “Not yet, man, they’ve got four minutes left.”

Aaron and Daryl then came into view. They waved to you as they walked by with the babies, another reminder that you that you weren’t fully dead inside. Gracie was in a stroller, TJ was bundled in Daryl’s arms. Your husband lingered behind, eyes on you as he absently pecked a kiss to your baby’s covered head.

Something stirred, and your chest fluttered and tugged in their direction, reminding you again that your heart was still beating. So was Maggie’s, so was her and Glenn’s baby’s, so was Rick’s, so was Aaron’s. Life was still going. You had a child, a husband; lifelines. Their hearts were still beating, too.

The unexpected wink and the way Daryl’s gaze softened as he looked at you made you feel as if you’d been freezing and someone just handed you a cup of cocoa with mini marshmallows. The way he next moved his lips to pronounce ‘troublemaker,’ however, you ought to have seen coming a mile away.

The heaviness in your body eased a bit. A smile started prodding the corners of your mouth. Shyly, you returned the wave and mouthed ‘mangy hick,’ your wrist bumping against the photograph sticking from your shirt pocket.

Aaron noticed him acting like a dope lagging and gestured for him to keep up. “Four more minutes and we’ll come back to get her.”

Daryl called out "slowpoke," and waved your baby’s little arm to the two of you as they walked away. He kept peeking behind him, too, it warmed you. When they reached far enough, you once again took the photograph out from your pocket.

With a final peek at Carl’s picture, you sent up a prayer and reaffirmed the promise that you’d made to him. That you’d live for him, do him proud.

So long as your heart was still beating, you’d try to do him proud. “Seems you and I got four more minutes, Sid. What’ll we pick?”

-------------------------

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[theteasetwrites]

The Beginning Is the End Is the Beginning

Chapter 99: In the Company of Angels

❧ Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Female Reader ❧ Era: Season 11 ❧ Pronouns: she/her ❧ Warnings: major character death ❧ Word Count: 3.5k

❧ In This Chapter: The Commonwealth is saved in one last effort to defeat the herd. When the panic dies down, there is happiness, but not everyone will live to see another day.

❧ A/N: Second-to-last chapter! So this one is pretty short, but I wanted to write the time jump in the next chapter (aka the last chapter ahhh). I tried to add in some stuff to tie in Reader's father and some of the characters she was closest to. You might also notice that I purposefully made Reader kind of uncomfortable with the celebration (because I was uncomfortable with the celebration lmao). I just felt like it was kind of random and unrealistic (yes I am aware that there are zombies walking around, but within the context of the show, it's nice to have the way people behave be a little realistic). Idk the whole dinner scene didn't sit right with me, so I tried to convey that a little bit lol.

Date: April 18, 2021

Time: Midnight

Our arrival to the Commonwealth was fraught with some… trouble. A herd had somehow gotten through the walls. Governor Milton’s orders were to direct the swarm to the lower wards, where the poor live. She’d also caught onto Mercer’s betrayal, imprisoning him. By the time we arrived, the walkers were flooding into the streets. We took the sewers through to Union Station, where a shootout ensued. Myself and many others were shot, and at this point my recollection fails me, but I’m told that at some point, Princess led a group to release Mercer from his prison. From there, Mercer and his guards snuck us into a safehouse in the Estates, where Pamela and the other elites were hoarding the last of the medicine. We lost Luke and Jules to the walkers. Lydia and Aaron had lost track of Jerry and Elijah in the herd, but they joined with us again by some miracle. Rosita found her daughter, Coco. She is safe, and so is Eugene, Yumiko, and Maxine. 

The estates have the luxury of walls to keep the walkers out, but it kept the Commonwealth citizens out, too. Pamela refused to open the gates, signing a death sentence for the unlucky ones who were locked outside. They were screaming, crying, and begging to be let inside, spared from the dead.

Father Gabriel Stokes took a stand, ignoring the guns pointed at him as he made his way to the gate, preparing to shoot the lock and let the people in to save their lives from the impending herd. Governor Milton commanded her guards to shoot him down, but a resounding voice stopped them. It was Alexandria’s own Daryl Dixon, bravely approaching the governor herself, no weapons drawn. His words were simple, but louder than any gunshot, and stronger, too. 

“Stop,” he said. “We all deserve better than this. You built this place to be like the old world, that was the problem. We’ve got one enemy. We’re not the walking dead.”

You paused for a moment, thinking of what to write next. It was most important that you wrote down exactly what Daryl had said, you figured. You supposed the rest now was living history, and you’d have to write more later, when you could collect your thoughts.

Daryl himself made his way over to you, looking just as dashing and brave as he did just a few hours ago now. As you sat up in your bed, he eyed you suspiciously. Hadn’t he just told you to rest? And yet there you were, etching hundreds of words into your journal, frantically writing down every thought that had come to you the past twenty-four hours. Everything that happened here tonight was important, and so much more was about to be underway. 

When you felt his gaze on you, you lifted your head from your journal. The letters were starting to make you dizzy anyway. “Yes?” you asked. 

A few men dressed head to toe in Commonwealth armor pushed past Daryl, carrying various boxes of explosives. It made you nervous, to say the least, but it was all part of the plan. Mercer’s plan. 

Daryl crossed his arms with a huff, coming forward to sit himself down beside your bed. He’d left a chair there for himself, marked rather obviously by his vest. “Thought you were gonna be restin’.”

“I am resting.”

“No, you’re writing.”

“Well, I can write and rest at the same time, can’t I?”

He narrowed his eyes at your left arm, still wrapped tight in its sling. “How you feel?”

“My arm hurts,” you sighed. “But I’ll be fine.”

Out of curiosity, Daryl leaned back in his chair, his neck craning to get a look at what you were writing. “I see my name,” he said, focusing on your familiar cursive writing. “What’re ya sayin’ about me?”

“Oh,” you sighed dramatically, “just about how… noble, and brave, and heroic my husband is.”

You swore his eyes rolled into the back of his head. “Stop.”

“Why? It’s true. Besides, Robin and Westley will need to know how great their father is. It’s important, you know. And maybe someday they’ll have children of their own, and they’ll tell them about their… grandpa.”

Daryl shook his head. “Nah, no way. I’m not gonna be a grandpa.”

“Maybe you will,” you said with a shrug, and a mischievous grin. Sometimes, you got far too much enjoyment out of teasing him, but he was just so serious, and it was so fun to make that serious demeanor crumble, as it only really could for you. “It’s important to think about the future, about the consequences of all this.”

“All’s I know is what’s goin’ on right now. And right now it’s time to go, so get your journal.”

Indeed, the plan was ready. Aaron and some of the others had already diverted the herd, clearing a path for a truck to leave the estates and bring back the fuel. The plan was to light up the sewers, soak them in gasoline and lead the flame to the center of the estates, where the walkers would be corralled. 

You could hear it now, the music just starting. “Cult of Personality” by Living Colour. Fitting, you supposed. The lyrics didn’t matter, though. What mattered was that the music was loud enough to bring the walkers to the estates. When those mansions were going to blow up, you didn’t want to be anywhere near it. 

Everyone was loaded onto a truck, packed like a can of sardines and taken to the rendezvous point—one of the houses on the other side of town. By the time everyone had cleared the estates, the gates were left open, purposefully. The walkers poured in, death and decay taking over this once prosperous neighborhood. 

Everyone was far away when the music stopped, time suspended for what seemed like years, but it was only a few moments. Finally, a huge burst of flames, followed by waves upon waves of explosions dotting the estates, each triggering another until the whole district was bubbling with bright orange. 

Beneath the ground, the sewers were opening up, splitting the dirt to suck in hundreds of burning walkers, like Hell was opening up and taking back its creatures. When the first bursts of the explosions died down, the charred remains of the estates were filled with burning trees and the last of the walkers that could still walk as their rotten flesh burnt off their bones. 

From what you could see, the herd was eradicated. Still, you weren’t sure it was cause for celebration. The estates were destroyed, along with dozens of homes that could’ve housed the poor and the sick. Whatever food and resources those buildings had were reduced to smithereens before your very eyes. Not only that, but who knows how many people had died during the swarm? 

You didn’t share that sentiment with most of the others, though. 

Yumiko invited everyone from Alexandria to her house in the wee hours of the morning. For your part, you fell asleep on her couch, not knowing when you awoke that a grand feast was waiting for you in the afternoon.

It was Daryl’s hand that gently rocked your shoulder. “Come get somethin’ to eat,” he said, and you swore you were in a dream. 

The dining room was immaculate, with a meal of epic proportions splayed over the table, with more to spare on the kitchen counters, where so many familiar faces gathered around to serve themselves. You blinked hard, shaking your head as you looked towards your husband. “Am I awake?”

“Yeah,” he said, and you knew it must’ve been real—you could feel his hand pressed upon your lower back, then his lips grazing your cheek. “I’ll make ya a plate. Sit down.”

Despite its clear reality, you couldn’t escape the strange warm glow all around you. It felt like you were dead. Well, in Heaven, maybe. But you weren’t, you knew you weren’t. You were alive, but something felt too good to be true. Something was off. 

Across the dining room table, you felt Rosita’s eyes on you. She leaned closer, pointing her finger at your sling. “You all right?”

“Mhm.” Tentatively, you took a sip of red wine. It was the first you’d tasted of it in ages. Nine months pregnant, plus several more in which wine was the least important thing you could consume, so you didn’t. It felt strange to drink it now, but why not? Everything else felt so strange, anyway. “Are you?”

She rocked uncomfortably in her chair, but flashed a smile regardless. “Of course.”

Something was wrong. 

“Rosita—”

Maggie’s hand startled you as she touched your shoulder. Her green eyes widened as she let out a laugh. Were you the only one not happy?

As she sat beside you, she eagerly unfolded her napkin, then helped herself to a serving of mashed potatoes. How did anyone have the energy to prepare this meal? Nothing seemed right. 

“You were asleep for so long,” remarked Maggie. “I was worried you wouldn’t wake up.”

“Feels like I didn’t.” You were caught between reality and a dream. 

Daryl’s heavy presence loomed over you. He placed your plate in front of you—it was overflowing with ham and gravy and biscuits and salad and grapes… He’d given you far too much food for one person to eat. Still, you knew you would eat all of it with how hungry you were. 

“Thank you.” He shocked you for a moment, bending over to kiss the corner of your mouth. You looked at him suspiciously. “Am I in the Twilight Zone?”

“Eat your food,” he scoffed playfully. “‘Fore it gets cold.”

With a belly full of food, soon it became clear to you that there was no harm in celebrating what merriment there was for the time being. Pamela was imprisoned, the walkers were slain, the people were free. 

It was a beautiful dinner, the warm glow of the candles spread all over the table illuminating so many smiling faces. The world had changed so much since last night—darkness had given into light, and with the new day came a new era. It was on everyone’s breath. The cleansing fire had come again, as it had come so many times before. 

It was nothing new, you’d seen it before, so many, many times. 

Atlanta, the quarry, the CDC, the farm, the prison, the Kingdom, the Hilltop… As worlds ended, new ones were born. Even those worlds hadn’t really ever ended, you figured. It wasn’t even really a matter of things ending or beginning when it came down to it, it was a matter of continuing on, keeping those memories alive for as long as you could. That was the trick.

That was the celebration. A new beginning, once again. As many times as you’d felt it, you’d never get tired of that feeling. Hope, that’s exactly what it was. Hope for the future, for the world to become whole again.

The mission wasn’t over, you all knew that. The world was still broken, crumbling all around you, but there were pockets of wholeness, moments wherein everything became so perfect that it was hard to believe it was real. But it was real, and they were real. Your family was real. 

And yet, you couldn’t shake this feeling, as though the vibrant images that projected all around you were just figments of your imagination, like any second now you’d wake up and it would all have been some strange, long dream.

Maybe you’d awaken, having never met a man named Daryl, having never had his children. That was the worst thing you could imagine, so you willed it away from your mind as quickly as it came.

Instead, you dozed off for a while, thinking of all the voices you couldn’t hear amidst the celebrations. Strangely, you found yourself picturing a world in which your father could see all this. You hadn’t thought of him in so long, but a sudden wave of memory lost to time came flooding in.

The memory wasn’t one that had ever existed, at least, not in this lifetime. It was an image of a dinner much like this, but with everyone you’d come to know and love.

Rick, Michonne, Glenn, Beverly, Dale, Tara, Andrea, Tyreese, Beth… All the ones you lost were surrounded by some glowing aura, like they were angels. They were so bright and beautiful that you nearly squinted just to make our their features.

Your father, though, you saw particularly clearly. In your vision, he’d sit right across the table from Daryl. He’d know the happiness you had found with him, the true and innocent love he gave you. You knew above all else that he would’ve loved Daryl, too. He would’ve seen him as another son, and a great man.

In his lap would sit baby Westley, watching in fascination as his grandfather played peek-a-boo with the child, much to his wonder.

Robin would sit near him, too, laughing at one of Dale’s silly jokes. He’d impart some important lesson to her, and she’d listen closely, eager to learn from the wise man.

Aaron would pour a glass of wine for Eric, his one true love. You were sure your father would look on proudly, happy to know that Aaron was living the life he wanted with the man he loved.

Perhaps Rick would raise a toast, it seemed like the kind of thing he would’ve done. “To family,” he might say. “To hope, and to the future.”

Glenn and Maggie would laugh together like they used to. They’d have a hard time letting go of each other’s hands. You recalled they used to hold on until the last possible second.

Sophia and Carl would be so much bigger now. You’d hardly be able to recognize Sophia, but what a beautiful young woman she would’ve become. You’d reminisce with them about the times at the quarry, and how little they seemed in such a big, scary world.

As much as you hated to invite him to your perfect little tableau, you turned to look at Daryl, and you saw an inkling of Merle in that smirk he gave you. It had Daryl’s gentleness, but Merle was in him, too. You liked to think that, if he had lived to see this day, he’d have changed. Maybe he’d see the ignorance of his ways, and maybe, by some miracle, he’d be a good uncle to your children. Well, thank goodness it was just in your imagination.

“Hon?” Daryl’s raspy whisper made those faces disappear, but their essence still lingered. His warm hand laid tentatively over yours, until he gently squeezed it to get your attention. “You all right?”

“Yes,” you said with a smile. He felt some relief wash over him. For a second there, he worried you had already gotten tipsy from the wine. You were always a lightweight, but then again, you were terribly amusing when you were drunk. He would know. “I’m fine, sweetheart.”

His lips eased into a small smile. As his cheeks lifted, you admired his face, how beautifully sculpted it had been. Every detail, from the bags under his eyes to the slight slope of his nose, was your favorite—you couldn’t decide on just one. And his skin was so clear, so soft. The wine must’ve been getting to him a little, as you could see a glowing rosiness in his warm cheeks.

Though his black eye had only darkened, you still swooped his hair back, allowing you to see every perfect inch of him.

The fact that you were admiring him through hazy bedroom eyes did not go unnoticed.

“What’re ya thinkin’ about?”

Naughty things, mister Dixon.

“How happy I am,” you replied, opting for an innocent conversation instead.

His hand squeezed yours a little tighter. In this lighting, with the gold-tinted hue of the candles playing off your features, he couldn’t take his eyes off you if his life depended on it, and thank goodness it didn’t.

“Are you happy, Daryl?”

For the last eleven years, he’d been able to say yes. Why would that change today?

“Yeah. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, since you came along.”

He wished he had the more complex words to describe the way you made him feel, but simple platitudes spoken by many lovers before and many lovers after would have to do.

“I’d like it to stay like this forever,” you said. “Just frozen in time. I don’t ever want to forget this feeling.”

“You don’t have to… We keep it alive, you and me. Long as we live, and after.”

“And the people,” you added. “The people we lost, they’re still alive, right? We keep the fire burning for them.”

“That’s right, angel.”

Despite the euphoria you felt come over you, there was still that inkling of looming devastation floating around the room. It didn’t show itself immediately, but gradually, as the heady afternoon blended into the clarifying evening, your suspicions of impending tragedy proved to be correct.

Rosita shared the news, that horrible news you’d been dreading since she looked at you that way. You didn’t process it at first, it just sort of… sat there. She’d hid it so well all this time. The bite on her back was completely covered by her shirt and her hair, but nothing could hide the fact that the fever was coming, worsening and becoming stronger with each passing moment. Time was running out for her, and it felt so wrong.

In the bedroom where she laid, each and every one of you was given the unspoken opportunity to say goodbye. It was a beautiful room, perfect for Rosita. The walls were a pale blush color, with lovely pink roses in a vase by the door. Roses for Rosita, you thought, smiling through your tears as you sat upon the chair by her bed. 

She reached for your hand, and you took it with a gentle shake. Beside her was Coco, napping upon a bed of pillows. She was older than Wes, of course, but you couldn’t help but see her and wonder if one day the two of them would be friends. You hoped so. 

“Hey,” she said, her eyes struggling to keep open. She looked paler than usual, and you could tell by the redness under her eyes that the illness was taking its effect. It felt so cruel, so unfair. She had so much life left in her, and for it to be cut short so suddenly was nothing short of a tragedy. 

“Hi.” Even a single syllable word was not immune to your tears. Your voice cracked and faltered as you wiped your nose with your free hand. What were you supposed to say? There was so much to say to her. She was your friend. “I—I, um…” You shook your head, trying to compose yourself. “Rosita, nothing’s going to be the same without you.”

She smiled. “You’re going to be fine. You’re brave.”

You laughed at that. It seemed like just yesterday Rosita had called you weak. Now, it was just a humorous memory. “You’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever known.”

It was evident in the way it happened. She’d been bit saving Coco, her child. That, indeed, was the greatest act of bravery. “Will you… watch over Coco for me?”

You were choked up at this point, hardly able to speak without bursting. “I will,” you said with a fervent nod. “Of course. Always.”

“And, if you can,” she faltered a little, her eyes becoming hazy. You could tell she was on her way out, her voice having trouble coming through. “Tell Robin… about how badass we were, you and me.”

Your eyes widened a little. Of course, Rosita was “badass,” but you weren’t so sure that you were. “I sure will,” you snorted. “I’ll tell her all those stories.”

“I wish I could see her grow up…. Her and Coco, and Wes, too… All of them.”

“Hey,” you said, leaning forward to hug her. She was burning hot, so hot she was cold. “I’ll be your eyes and ears, okay? Everything I see, you’re gonna see it, too.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

It was so hard to say goodbye. 

That night, you closed your eyes to sleep, held tight by the same pair of strong arms that were made for you. They kept you safe, sheltered, but your mind still wandered.

You found yourself at that dinner table again, surrounded by all those you loved, and those you lost. Rosita was shining bright now. She held her baby in her arms. She looked like the Virgin Mary.

Her soothing face didn’t haunt you, it lulled you to a peaceful sleep. The death she’d been given was beautiful. You could only hope that someday, you’d die with your greatest loves beside you, and you’d see them again in some crazy woman’s vision.

~

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[maraxp]

this is a multifandom blog meaning that i favorite certain fandoms/characters so there will most definitely be more writings for certain characters and fandoms.

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rpf, necrophilia, incest, daddy/little play, age play (basically pedophilia), spitting, bimbo!reader, foot fetish, animal play, race play, watersports, miscarriage, any kind of abuse, child fics, any ocs, i avoid the pet name ‘kitten’ like- it’s just.. no.

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MARVEL

miguel o’hara, hobie brown, gwen stacy, miles morales, tony stark, peter parker (all variants), doctor strange, wade wilson, eddie brock, kate bishop, mary jane

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leon scott kennedy, chris redfield, claire redfield, ashley graham, ada wong, luis sera, albert wesker, jill valentine, carlos oliveira, rebecca chambers, sherry birkin, ethan winters, helena harper, alcina dimitrescu, karl heisenberg

MODERN WARFARE II

simon riley/ghost, john mactavish/soap, john price, kate laswell, phillip graves, kyle garrick/gaz, alejandro vargas, könig, gary sanderson/roach, farah karim, valeria garza, rodolfo parra

DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU . . .

are racist, homophobic, bigoted, zionist, islamphobic. judgmental to what people enjoy writing/reading. copy or repost my fics without permission. follow me if you’re problematic. send your full fic into my ask box, i will not post it. —  if you fit the average dni criteria you will be blocked.

PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THIS IS AN N[SFW] BLOG. I ASK THAT MINORS BLOCK THE +18 TAG: 📓. mature - THANK YOU.

[judgementdaysunshine]

Masterlist

Fics i have done!

Fandoms i write for!

Young justice

Kaldur'ahm/Aqualad

Megan morse/Miss martian

Connor kent/Superboy

Artemis crock/Tigress

Jaime reyes/Blue beetle

Cassie sandsmark/Wondergirl

Wally west/Kidflash

Barbara gordon/Batgirl

CSI Vegas

Sara sidle

Nick stokes

Mia dickerson

Greg sanders

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Warrick brown

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Gil grissom

M*A*S*H*

Benjamin hawkeye pierce

Margaret hot lips houlihan

B.J. hunnicutt

Margie cutler

Radar o'reilly

Kellye yamoto

John mulcahy

Stranger things

Nancy wheeler

Dustin henderson

Max mayfield

Jonathan byers

Robin buckley

Steve harrison

Jane hopper/el

Lucas Sinclair

Joyce byers

Mike wheeler

Barbara holland

Jim hopper

CSI Miami

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Ryan wolfe

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Eric delko

Calliegh duquesne

Horatio caine

Alexx woods

Jesse cardoza

Marisol delko

Marvel

Kate bishop

Clint barton

Natasha romanoff

T'challa

Cassandra lang

Sam wilson

Kamala khan

Bucky barnes

Shuri

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Mortal kombat

Kung jin

Skarlet

Hanzo hasashi

Sonya blade

Kuai liang

Jaqui briggs

Johnny cage

Kitana

Takeda takashi

Jade

Jax briggs

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Resident evil

Claire redfield

Carlos olivera

Sherry birkins

Leon kennedy

Jill valentine

Jake muller

Helena harper

Chris redfield

Alice

NCIS NOLA

Chris laselle

Loretta wade

Sebastian lund

Hannah khoury

Patton plame

Sonja percy

Dwayne pride

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Final destination

Clear rivers

Lewis romaro

Wendy christensen

Kevin horton

Carrie dryer

Kevin fischer

Kimberly corman

Thomas burke

Alex browning

The mighty ducks

Fulton reed

Julie gaffney

Adam banks

Charlie conway

Dean portman

Guy germaine

Dwayne robertson

Luiz mendoza

Connie monreau

Criminal minds

Emily prentiss

Spencer reid

Jennifer jareau

Aaron hotchner

Kate callahan

Derek morgan

Penelope garcia

Luke alvez

Tara lewis

Matt simmons

Trauma center

Derek stiles

Angie thompson

Gabriel cunningham

Elena salazar

Erhard miller

Naomi kimishima

Markus vaughn

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ER

Susan lewis

Mark greene

Carol hathaway

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Jubliee

Pixie

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Final fantasy

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Lighting farron

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Narnia

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Peter pevensie

Susan pevensie

Edmund pevensie

Mr tumnus

Prince caspian

NCIS LA

Marty deeks

Shay mosley

Sam hanna

Kensi blye

G callen

Fatima nazami

Eric beale

Harley hidoko

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Code lyoko

Aelita schaffer

Odd della robbia

Yumi ishiyama

Ulrich stern

Milly solovieff

William dunbar

Tamiya diop

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Triple frontier

Will "ironhead" miller

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Benny miller

Santiago "pope" garcia

The night shift

Landry de la cruz

Joey chavez

Gwen gaskin

Kenny fornette

Jordan alexander

Michael ragosa

Drew allister

Shannon rivera

TC callahan

Ewan mcgregor characters

Catcher block

Dan torrance

Perry makepeace

Christopher robin

Rodney copperbottom

Robert lewis

Alex law

Edward bloom

Star wars

Crosshair

Cara dune

Luke skywalker

Aayla secura

Hunter

Din djarin

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Obi wan kenobi

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Qui gon jin

Tech

Ahsoka tano

Poe dameron

Leia organa

Echo

Finn

Iden versio

Del meeko

Wrecker

Misc 1

Jack mercer

Mason "mace" brown

Spike spiegel

Toph

Lu fox

Elizabeth martinson

Casi

Laney boggs

Max lewinsky

Mahtilda

Flip zimmerman

Nani pelekai

Murphy macmanus

Korra

Lu fox

Samantha caine

Bill s prescott

Iris

Zack siler

Rachel

David abbott

Marta

Jed eckhart

Tess finnegan

Ryan williams

Barbara novak

Ted logan

Toni

Eugene/vida boheme

Tris prior

Murtagh morzzansson

Skeeter

Christian

Stephanie speck

John wick

Viola eade

Jonathan levy

Evey hammond

Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz

Casey jones

Marni

Elliot alderson

Misc 2

Chris chambers

Andie anderson

Michael perry

Beatrix "the bride" kiddo

Elliott

Quinn fabray

Benjamin barry

Dani rojas

Billy/four

Daphne moon

Javi gutierrez

Allison reynolds

Hector villanueva

April o'neil

Ned tash

Kara

Don billingsley

Asami sato

Beau hutton

Monica long dutton

Joey coalter

Celine naville

Sam munroe

[quanticowrites]

Genuine Article Pt. 1 (Ernie Malik x Reader)

•• Aaaa my first NCIS: Hawai'i fic, I'm super stoked for this! As you can see...a multi-part fic :3 Enjoy! ••

Working at the Pearl Harbour Navy Base had seemed like a faraway dream as a kid, but here you were, pulling up to the gate in your car. An Officer came out of the building to greet you, asking for your ID and the purpose of being there. You beamed up at him.

"Special Agent (Y/n), NCIS. I just transferred here." You handed him your badge and ID and watched as he scanned it through the system. He smiled back at you once everything cleared.

"Welcome to Pearl! Guess I'll be seeing you around." He motioned with his head toward the base. "If you ever need a tour around the base, just ask for Officer Gabriel." You tried your best not to look disheveled, forcing your smile to stay on your lips.

"Thank you, but I think my new team will have the task of showing me around." His smile slightly faltered before he pressed the button to open the gate."Don't be a stranger now!" He called after you, a slight southern accent pulling out from his words. He wasn't a local, he must have been a transplant, just like you. You followed the signs for staff parking before heading inside. You were thankful your ID worked on the key fob door. With how quickly you'd transferred here you weren't sure if all of your information and clearance would arrive before you did. You followed the hallway to an elevator and punched the button for the lobby floor. That was as good a place as any to start looking for your new team. It was already a four-person team, making you the fifth member. If you remembered the names from the sheet they'd given you, the Leader's name was Jane Tennant. You wouldn't have trouble remembering that one. Jane was one of the handfuls of legends at NCIS along with Gibbs, Pride, and Hetty. It was an honor to have even been chosen by her as you had. Your name hadn't been in the transfer hub for one day when she snagged you up from the Northeast field office. You'd kind of been hoping for a transfer to New Orleans to be closer to family, but you were certainly not going to complain about being moved to the island state. The door opened, and without looking at which floor you were on, headed out of the elevator. You didn't have much time to react as a man rushed into the elevator, plowing you down to the ground and your briefcase flying open and scattering both documents and personal items throughout the elevator.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I hadn't expected anyone to be inside here! No one ever comes down to the basement." You held your breath as you looked up at your assailant. He was shorter than you, you could tell that from the ground. He crouched down and started gathering up your things. You laughed a little as you went to grab a small Hello Kitty figurine, pulling your hand back quickly as your fingers brushed against his.

“I-It’s fine. I should have noticed this wasn’t the lobby floor.” He handed you the rest of your things and you stuffed them back into your briefcase. You stood back up and saw him eyeing the multitude of stickers you’d adorned it with.

“Wow, you get around. Japan, Norfolk, Great Lakes-!” You blinked as he whacked himself in the face with his palm. “God, I’m an idiot! You’re our new transfer agent, (y/n).” You smiled, holding out your hand.

“And…your…Ernie? Right?” His file had said he was the resident tech master. He straightened and somehow, that smile of his grew larger.

“The one and only!” He hit the button for the Lobby. “Here, I was just heading up to see Tennant and the team myself, I found something relevant to the case they’re working on.”

“What’s the case?” His mood darkened.

“Hannah Freelove, the young daughter of an Admiral, was kidnapped two days ago.” You nodded, but more so for yourself. You might be new but that wasn’t going to stop you from bringing this girl back to her family. You only hoped to god it wouldn’t be in a body bag.

“I’ll help any way I can.” You couldn't tell if it was from the close confines of the elevator, but you could have sworn a dark blush had spread across his face. The Elevator doors beeped, opened, and once again Ernie was out like a flash. Shirttail of his button-up flew behind him.

You followed after him to a group of desks. There were the other agents of Tennant’s team. Jesse, Lucy, and Kai. That empty desk behind Kai’s must be yours. You didn’t put your briefcase down yet, just in case you were wrong. You’d already had one embarrassing moment, you didn’t want to have another.

“Where’s Tennant?” Jesse nodded upstairs.

“She just got pulled into a video call with the director. She said it wasn’t case related.” He crossed his arms and leaned against his desk, eyes flicking to you. “Who’s your friend here, Ernie?” Ernie took a step to the side.

“Meet our new transfer agent, (y/n)!” Lucy turns into a blur as she speeds around her desk and wraps you up into a hug.

“(Y/n)! Welcome!” You let out a laugh before hugging her back.

“Thank you.” Once Lucy let you go you looked over at Ernie. “Didn’t you have something important to say?” Ernie shuffled in place before ultimately tapping his tablet.

“You’re right, I can read Jane in later, this is too important to wait.” He flipped his tablet around to show a picture of a boot print cast and the original undisturbed print in the mud. You deduced it must have been from the scene of Hannah’s abduction. “Looking at this, you probably think this boot print has no major significance, I mean, Navy-issued boots are a dime a dozen on the island-”

“Ernie,” Kai interjected to steer him back on course. “Your point?” Ernie cleared his throat.

“Well, this is a custom-designed boot. Our military boots don’t have this tread pattern at the bottom.” He used his fingers to zoom in on the cast. It looked like a barbed wire with a pair of deer hooves in the middle. That certainly was unique. “And me being me, I already checked with local shops that do this kind of thing.”

“Did you get a hit?” Jesse asked. Ernie didn’t reply at first, as he pulled up half a dozen pictures.

“Within the past year, these men bought boots with this tread. I’m judging that this print is roughly a size 13.”

“Well,” Jesse started, “ let’s go see if any of these dudes have big feet, or better yet, mud on their boots.”

“You don’t think they would've ditched ‘em by now?” Kai questioned.

“These boots had to have cost them a decent chunk of cash, no way they’d just throw them away. Not without attempting to clean them first, at least.” He motioned between himself and Kai. “Kai, you and I take the top 3, Lucy and (Y/n) you take the bottom. Ernie, by chance did you get there-” Ernie flashed a smug smile as he pulled out index cards listing information about each person, including their last registered address. Jesse chuckled as he took his three. “I don’t even know why I ask.”

“I don’t either.” Ernie quipped before waving you all off as you headed out. Before you and Lucy headed anywhere she made sure to grab a spare tactical vest from the equipment room for you, and since she knew the roads, she drove the both of you out to the house of the first person on your list.

“So…” She started, and you waited for her to continue before repeating back to her.

“So…?”

“You and Ernie!” You blinked.

“What about me and Ernie? I’ve barely known him for two hours!” She nodded, excitedly.

“Well, he was acting strange around you! Did something happen before you went to the squad room?”

“He ran into me on the elevator. I mean ran, plowed me straight to the ground.” You were going to keep the finger-touching incident to yourself. You hadn't known Lucy long but you could tell she was the kind of person to try and set her friends up. You’d just had a rather rough breakup back in Illinois, that was part of the reason you transferred. To get as far away from that as you could. It was too early to jump back into the dating game, but Lucy and the others didn’t need to know that. There was a more important matter at hand, finding Hannah. Or at the very least find the person whose boot print was at the scene. Lucy must have found that funny because she started laughing. The rest of the car ride felt like a game of twenty questions. What’s your favorite color? Movie? Ice Cream flavor? She was quite the chatterbox, but you didn’t mind. As long as she didn’t drift into your love life, you were fine with it.

She finally pulled up to the house. When you and Lucy knocked on the door he answered, and was very cooperative. He didn’t mind showing you his boots. They were still in the box. Plus, they were a size eight. Not your guy. When you met with the next man on your list you saw he was currently wearing the pair, but his pair was caked with paint, not mud. He walked you to his living room and showed you the large canvas he had on his floor, covered in the painted boot prints. He was an abstract artist. He was also a size eleven. Closer, but still not your guy. It was drawing nearer to evening, and you were hoping Jesse and Kai were having more luck. If they were, you were certain they would have called Lucy by now.

The last guy on your list had a rap sheet a mile long. Mostly only drug possession and intent to distribute, nothing that would suggest he’d take a darker step into the criminal world by kidnapping a little girl. As Lucy pulled up outside his apartment complex, you felt a churning in your gut. You just had a feeling.

“Lucy!” She was already halfway to the front door. She turned.

“Yeah?”

“Which one is his apartment again?” She pulled out the card from her pocket.

“Uh…203? Why?”

“I just have a feeling he’s gonna run for it. I’ll cover the back.” You state and run to the other side of the building, this side had patios. If he was going to try and run, it’d have to be out this door. Otherwise, he’ll have to try and get past Lucy in the front. You heard Lucy announce herself and kick in his door. You pulled your gun and watched as the patio's sliding glass door flew open and the suspect ran out, grabbing onto the railing and pulling his legs up like he was thinking of jumping. That was an easy fifteen-foot drop. If he didn’t know what he was doing there was a good chance he’d break both ankles and his legs if he was lucky.

“NCIS! Don’t even think about it!” Even from the ground, you could see his face pale. Lucy came up behind him and grabbed him by the wrists and put him in cuffs. She nodded inside.

“Boots are by the front door, and they are definitely caked in mud!” You holstered your gun.

“Buddy, you just became suspect number one.” Your stomach growled as you headed back around to go grab the suspect’s boots while Lucy put him in the back of the car. Another growl and you hoped that with a suspect in custody that someone on the team might know where to get a good bite to eat close to the base. You still had to figure out your whole living situation, but for now, a bunk at Pearl and your car were all you had.

Tag list:

@stanathanxoox , @nikkiwierden , @malindacath , @havlindzk , @countrygal17a , @memyselfandmaddox , @octobersmog , @mizzezm , @diaryofafan17 , @emmitheacefangirl , @a-sad-excuse-of-everything , @marennnx

[musings-of-a-lovesick-fool]

Musings-of-a-lovesick-fool's Fic Masterlist

Ao3! Kofi! WIPs List!

♡ — Fluff

♧ — Angst

♤ — Nsfw/Smut

◇ — Canon Typical Violence

□ — General, No Warnings

☆ — That special Enemies to Lovers flavoured spice

Last Updated: 7/04/2024

Resident Evil Village

One Man's Trash is Another Man's Treasure: Colvyr Covali x Karl Heisenberg — ♡

What's His is Mine and What's Mine is Mine: Colvyr Covali x Alcina Dimitrescu, Colvyr Covali x Karl Heisenberg — □

Alcina's Notes on Colvyr: Features Colvyr Covali, Alcina Dinitrescu and her daughters — □

Kiss on the Forehead: Colvyr Covali x Karl Heisenberg — ♡

Hope: Features Darius Lupan, Ethan Winterd and the Duke — ◇

Far Cry 5

The Angels Right Hand: Features Anya Cherkov, Faith Seed, Simon Dallas and Sharky Boshaw — ◇

Guilty Conscience: Deputy Dean Sinclaire x John Seed — ◇♡♧

Tired: Deputy Dean Sinclaire x Joseph Seed — No Cult AU ♡

Unwanted Visitor: Features Jerome Jeffries, Baptist!Dean Sinclaire and Peggies — Reverse Fc5 AU ◇

Misguided: Features the Seeds, the Sinclaires, Herald!James Rook and Marvin Brooks — Reverse Fc5 AU ◇

Not a Diva: Peggie!Dean Sinclaire x John Seed — ♡

A Glimpse: Deputy Dean Sinclaire x the Seeds — ◇♡☆

A Moment of Bliss: Deputy Dean Sinclaire x John Seed — ♡

Hard Decisions: Baptist!Dean Sinclaire x John Seed — Reverse Fc5 AU ♡☆

Ain't No Rest For The Wicked: Features Marvin Brooks, Deputy Dean Sinclaire, Deputy James Rook, Jess Black, Grace Armstrong, Earl Whitehorse and Peggies — ◇

A Mistake and a Saving Grace: Deputy Dean Sinclaire x Joseph Seed, Features Sharky Boshaw — ☆♡♧

Head For Breakfast: Deputy Dean Sinclaire x Deputy James Rook — ♤♡ [Consensual Somnophilia, Oral, Barebacking]

SMFYaM CH1, CH2, CH3, CH4, CH5, CH6: Deputy Dean Sinclaire x Jacob Seed — ◇♤♧

Dying Light 2

One Minute More Love One Minute More: Nikolas Reeves x Hakon — ♧

24/03: Nikolas Reeves x Hakon x Lawan — ♡

The Boy From Never and Ever

Scars & Ink: Nym Rosemerry x Eden Noble — ♡

May I?: Nym Rosemerry x Eden Noble — ♡♤ [Blowjob, Face sitting, Barebacking]

Shiptober

Day 1, 2 & 3: Wade Wilson x Dean Sinclaire — ♡♤◇ [Day 3: Praise kink, Butt plug, Oral, Handjob, Doggy Style, Overstimulation]

Day 4, 5 & 6: Heather Lucille Valentine x Deputy Dean Sinclaire — ♤♡ [Day 4: Thigh Riding, Handcuffs]

Day 7, 8 & 9: John Seed x Deputy Dean Sinclaire x Deputy James Rook — ♡♤◇ [Day 9: Thigh Fucking, Masturbating, Oral]

Day 10, 11 & 12: Mary May Fairgrave x Anya Cherkov — ♡

Day 13, 14 & 15: Faith Seed x Piper Vasquez — ♤♡ [Day 13: Dry Humping, Intoxication, Oral]

Day 16, 17 & 18: Karl Heisenberg x Colvyr Covali — ◇♡♧

Day 19: Cooper McCoy x Gabriel Stokes — ♡

Day 20: Rai Anderson x Casper Vasquez — ♡

Day 21: Michael Sinclaire x Alexys — ♡

Day 22, 23 & 24: Faith Seed x Deputy Dean Sinclaire — ♡♤◇ [Day 23: Intoxication, Strap On, Bareback, Public Play]

Day 25, 26 & 27: Jacob Seed x Deputy Dean Sinclaire — ♡♤◇☆ [Day 25: Public Play, Vibrator, Edging]

Day 28, 29 & 30: Joseph Seed x Deputy Dean Sinclaire — ♡◇☆

Day 31: Audrey Marshall x Deputy Dean Sinclaire — ♡

Underworld

Under The Bleachers: Razahir 'Raze' Khemse x Salvador Hale — ♡

You Shouldn't Have: Razahir 'Raze' Khemse x Salvador Hale — ♡

Valentine, Bryne

The Rain Fell My Love and So Too Did We: Sybil Bryne x Eliad Bryne — ♧◇

Resident Evil Village

Lunchbreak: Male!Lord!Reader x Karl Heisenberg — ♡

Tearful: Features GN!Reader and The Duke — □

Doll: Features GN!Reader and Salvatore Moreau — □

Dating Karl Heisenberg: GN!Reader x Karl Heisenberg — Headcannons ♡

Far Cry 5

Between the Pages: GN!Reader x John Seed — ♡

You're Important to Me Idiot: Male!Deputy!Reader x Sharky Boshaw — ◇♡

Hope County Residents Dating a Plus-Size, Pre-op Trans Man hc's: M!Reader x John Seed, Jacob Seed, Joseph Seed, Faith Seed, Jerome Jeffries, Sharky Boshaw, Mary May Fairgrave, Adelaide Drubman, Grace Armstrong, Eli Palmer — Headcannons ♡♤

Nights Like These: GN!Reader x Jacob Seed — ♡

Through the Pouring Rain: GN!Reader x John Seed — ♡

By The Fire: GN!Reader x Grace Armstrong — ♤ [Oral]

Good Boy: GN!Reader x Sharky Boshaw — ♤ [Praise, Doggy Style]

Intermission: GN!Reader x Nick Rye — ♤ [Public Handjob]

After Hours: GN!Reader x Joey Hudson — ♤ [Fingering, Oral]

You, Me and a Bottle of Whiskey: GN!Reader x Mary May Fairgrave — ♤♡ [Accidental Stimulation]

Caught Up In You: GN!Reader x John Seed — ♤◇☆ [Thigh fucking, Doggy Style, Barebacking, Creampie]

I Always Come Back to You Don't I?: GN!Reader x Eli Palmer — ♡◇

Tongue Tied: M!Reader x Faith Seed— ♡□

Dusk Till Dawn – Part 1: GN!Reader x John Seed — ◇♡

Far Cry 5

As The Night Turns Into Day: Features Joey Hudson, Alexi (Daemon) and Peggies — Daemon AU ◇

No Cult AU Headcannon's: Features The Seeds — No Cult AU □

They Were Born...: Features John, Jacob & Joseph — Daemon AU □◇

[kilibaggins]

what i'll write

anything on this can be written as platonic

crossed out shows/pairings/characters means requests are closed for those specific things!

bold & italics means i am in the mood to write them!

⋆characters⋆

the 100: mostly all characters

harry potter: draco malfoy, harry potter, hermione granger, neville longbottom, ron weasely

supernatural: castiel, charlie bradbury, crowley, dean winchester, sam winchester

marvel: bruce banner, bucky barnes, clint barton, drax, gamora, loki, mantis, natasha romanoff, nebula, nick fury, peter quill, sam wilson, steve rogers, thor odinson, tony stark, yondu udonta

z nation: alvin murphy, addy carver, doc (only platonic), roberta warren

the umbrella academy: luther hargreeves, diego hargreeves, allison hargreeves (s1 & s2 + au only), klaus hargreeves, five hargreeves (platonic only), ben hargreeves, viktor hargreeves

misfits: nathan young, simon bellamy

the hobbit: ALL OF THORINS COMPANY !!!

twilight: charlie swan, jacob black

jurassic park/world: ian malcolm, owen grady

the walking dead: daryl dixon, eugene porter, gabriel stokes, michonne hawthorne, rick grimes

⋆ships⋆

the 100: mostly all the ships

harry potter: draco malfoy x harry potter , hermione granger x ron weasely , ron weasely x harry potter

supernatural: castiel x dean winchester , crowley x dean winchester

marvel: sam wilson x bucky barnes , thor x bruce banner , thor x peter quill, steve rogers x bucky barnes , steve rogers x tony stark , and more! just ask! i love to mix and match random ships! even if i dont write x reader for a character i might write them with another character

z nation: alvin murphy x roberta warren

the breakfast club: all ships within the club including poly ships

the umbrella academy: klaus hargreeves x dave katz , diego hargreeves x eudora patch

misfits: nathan young x simon bellamy

the hobbit: bilbo baggins x thorin oakenshield, bilbo baggins x kíli , bilbo baggins x bofur, and honestly any of the dwarves separately wth bilbo baggins

the walking dead: daryl dixon x rick grimes, eugene porter x abraham ford, daryl dixon x paul "jesus" monroe, michonne hawthorne x rick grimes, rosita espinosa x eugene porter, rosita espinosa x eugene porter x gabriel stokes, glenn rhee x maggie rhee, mercer x princess (and probably more just ask!!)

[cellgore]

— 𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐆𝐎𝐑𝐄’𝐒 𝐅𝐀𝐐.

this is a multifandom blog meaning that i favorite certain fandoms/characters so there will most definitely be more writings for certain characters and fandoms.

please don’t be offended if you send a request for someone and I don’t fulfil it, sometimes the inspiration is lacking for certain characters. I still wish to write though so I will continue to post.

requests are open so you can send them whenever you want !

DO YOU HAVE A MASTERLIST?

my masterlist is pinned at the top of my blog in navigation when viewing in the app, it can also be found on the left hand side of my blog when viewing on desktop.

ARE YOUR REQUESTS OPEN?

please check my pinned masterlist for request details, I always try my best to keep it updated.

WHAT DO YOU WRITE FOR?

smut, angst, fluff, age gaps, poly/threesome+, reverse harem, dubcon, noncon, yandere, toy play, cheating (to an extent), blood play, knife play, bdsm, breath play, violence, gore, hunter/prey, praise and degradation, power imbalance, supernatural, choking, mommy/daddy kink. (wrap it up!)

WHAT DO YOU NOT WRITE FOR?

rpf, necrophilia, incest, daddy/little play, age play (basically pedophilia), spitting, bimbo!reader, foot fetish, animal play, race play, watersports, miscarriage, any kind of abuse, child fics, any ocs, the pet name ‘kitten’ is just.. no.

WHAT DO YOU USE FOR YOUR HEADERS?

I use canva and sometimes ibispaint x. I get most of my images from pinterest.

WHO DO YOU WRITE FOR?

MARVEL

miguel o’hara, hobie brown, gwen stacy, miles morales, tony stark, peter parker (all variants), doctor strange, wade wilson, eddie brock, kate bishop, mary jane

DC UNIVERSE

harley quinn, diana prince, clark kent, pamela isley/poison ivy, arthur curry/aquaman, bruce wayne/batman

STRANGER THINGS

eddie munson, steve harrington, henry creel, jim hopper

THE WALKING DEAD

negan smith, rick grimes, daryl dixon, maggie greene, glenn rhee, abraham ford, carl grimes, morgan jones, shane walsh, michonne hawthorne, ezekiel sutton, gabriel stokes, eugene porter, rosita espinosa

RESIDENT EVIL

leon scott kennedy, chris redfield, claire redfield, ashley graham, ada wong, luis sera, albert wesker, jill valentine, carlos oliveira, rebecca chambers, sherry birkin, ethan winters, helena harper, alcina dimitrescu, karl heisenberg

MODERN WARFARE II

simon riley/ghost, john mactavish/soap, john price, kate laswell, phillip graves, kyle garrick/gaz, alejandro vargas, könig, gary sanderson/roach, farah karim, valeria garza, rodolfo parra

DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU . . .

are racist, homophobic, bigoted, zionist, islamphobic. judgmental to what people enjoy writing/reading. copy or repost my fics. follow me if you’re problematic. send your full fic into my ask box, i will not post it. —  if you fit the average dni criteria you will be blocked.

PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THIS IS AN 18+ BLOG AND I ASK THAT MDNI - THANK YOU.

[gaming-writer-gal]

~~The Walking Dead~~

Characters

Daryl Dixon

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Glenn Rhee

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Maggie Greene/Rhee

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Beth Greene

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Hershel Greene

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Michonne Hawthorne

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Dale Horvath

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Rosita Espinosa

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Abraham Ford

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Tyreese Williams

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Sasha Williams

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Bob Stookey

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Carol Peletier

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Tara Chambler

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Gabriel Stokes

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Carl Grimes

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Enid

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Noah

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Ships

Maggie x Glenn

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Enid x Carl

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Bob x Sasha

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Abraham x Sasha

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Rosita x Abraham

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Beth x Noah

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X Reader

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[mx-pastelwriting]

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙒𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝘿𝙖𝙧𝙮𝙡 𝘿𝙞𝙭𝙤𝙣

𝙈𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙚 𝘿𝙞𝙭𝙤𝙣

𝙉𝙚𝙜𝙖𝙣 𝙎𝙢𝙞𝙩𝙝

𝙀𝙪𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙚𝙧

𝙁𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙂𝙖𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙡 𝙎𝙩𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙨

♥ mx-pastelwriting does not consent to their work being copied, translated, or reposted on any other platform without permission.

[3than1no]

Oooh you’re doing the alphabet thing! May I request D F and K for Father Gabriel?

Forgive me lord for I have sinned…

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): Gabriel thinks about sex all the time. He tries not to but after going so long without, it’s like a floodgate has opened. He can’t get enough of it. He actually finds it embarrassing and rarely ever voices the fact he can’t get sex off his mind. 

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual): He’s a fairly simple guy so just prefers missionary. It’s easy and simple, gets the job done. However, sometimes he does like to mix it up a bit if hes feeling particularly naughty. He secretly has a thing for you riding him into oblivion. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks): The sight of you walking around in his clothing is his favourite thing. It turns him on to no end. You could be in a completely public place wearing one his shirts and he will be ready to fuck you there and then. 

[thewalkingdead-imagines]

Cuddling with Father Gabriel would include:

Requested (the gif isn’t mine/I found it on google so credits to the original owner)

• Him being at the start a little shy and even nervous when it comes to cuddling but once he feels the way you feel when you're laying in his arms or are tightly huddled up to him, him just forgetting anything and actually not being able to get enough of it • Him having the habit to softly kiss your forehead or to place a kiss on your head when you’re huddling up to him and rest your head on his shoulder • Him loving whenever you scoot closer to him when you’re laying in bed and just quietly cuddle against him, lay your head on his chest and wrap an arm around his torso only for him to pull you a little closer and pull the blanket some more over you to make sure you’re comfortable • Him sometimes being stunned by how much he loves and enjoys to feel the way your body is snuggled up against his and by how much you enjoy his closeness • Whenever he gets more confident or you motivate him to, him letting his hands carefully travel over your body while just loving it more and more with every time he feels you beneath his fingers • Him loving to nuzzle his head into the curve of your neck whenever you’re spooning to just feel your warmth or to place soft kisses on your neck while secretly beginning to love seeing the way you react • Especially after hard and exhausting days, him also loving to let himself fall next to you and feel the way your arms wrap around him as he’s leaning his head against your shoulder and can just close his eyes and forget anything else around you both • Him enjoying to know how much you trust him and being actually proud about being able to make you feel that protected and safe that you can let your guards down whenever he’s just wrapping his arms around you • Him caressing your neck or letting his fingers run gently through your hair whenever you lay your head into his lap only to too often catch himself beginning to crave more  • Him letting his hand stroke over your back when you’re laying next to him in bed, just to love the way you hum in approval and close your eyes before he can’t resist to lean over and kiss you

tagging: @dasani-saraai @amysuemc  @ashzombie13 @dragongirl420 @trashimaginezblog @bananakid42@timeladyrikaofgallifrey @jss-devlin @devotedly-generous-collector @starwarsandstufff @traumbruch @thecarlgrimesstuff (In case you want to be tagged or untagged for specific things I write or everything, just let me know