#Gem wanting a statue for herself was hilarious though

[prudentseer]

The Statue Saga. Edited all on my phone so excuse the choppy footage.

Joel: I'm going to make these so ugly that no one is going to like them, then blame it all on Etho. That'll get him!

Bdubs, Skizz & Mumbo: This is spectacular, amazing, breathtaking. I love it. I'm never taking this statue down.

I cut most of the actual building of the statues out since I wanted to move so focus on the reactions but if you want to see the actual building process I've written the timestamp below. Also there are more scenes that I probably missed or chose not to include so here are some more timestamps. I highly recommend you to check the videos/streams out for yourself.

Smallishbeans - Hermitcraft 10: Episode 14 [13:12]

Bdouble0100 - Hermitcraft 10: Bdubs Forest [5:47], [11:17]

MumboJumbo - Hermitcraft 10: Episode 12 [6:42]

Skizzleman - Hermitcraft 10: Episode 9 [3:35], [48:30] & episode 9 prep stream [1:43:44]

Grian - Hermitcraft 10: Episode 14 [2:44], [7:36], [20:11]

[feathers-fallen-on-riverdale]

Season 1, Episode 1: Chapter 1 - The River's Edge These Aren't The People From My Polycule! (They Said What?)

[Ep. Statues: Already Watched/First Time Watching + Remember/Vaguely/Don't Remeber]

First off. It sort of slipped my mind that Jughead narrates the opening of each episode. Doesn't he become like a God type writer in the new season? Very Jensen coded of The CW to only know how to do one (1) thing.

Oh god that nasty "Welcome to Riverdale!" board.

Also I will probably be saying this a lot but what are these outfits? Cheryl and Jason are going for thier stupid little boat ride (really? A boat ride? In the morning? On July 4th?) dress all in white expect for Cheryl's bright red stilettos. Like no wonder first time watcher me though Cheryl killed her brother. All the white, the creepiness of the scene and the "are you scared Jason?" just convinced me Cheryl had ritualisticlly killed her brother in a fucked up horror movie girl kinda way. Instant way to make me stan her. Kinda disappointed she didn't (would now would also be a good time to mention that I completely forgot who actually killed Jason? Oops?). Anyway where is that AU? Where is that show?

"In those last moments I hope he suffered. May Jason Blossom burn in hell" ? Miss girl. Are we sure Betty's mom isn't the real family psychopath?

Also can we talk about Jughead in season 1. With his lil beanie and his camera. I'm like 90% he was written to be a movie nerd/buff then it was retconed to books and they never talk about it again? That was weird.

Lol okay so I forgot how privileged the Lodges are made out to be. But honestly, Veronica's mom? Kind of a MILF. Now that I think about it, aren't they like, the Riverdale Kardashians?

Girl naurrr the gay-bestfriend-ification of Kevin 😭💀. My mortal enemy. I will make Kevin a full fleshed character if it kills me. Kevin walked no-crawled so that Will from Stranger Things could stumble over to Mike only to be called a slur.

Also how old are these bitches supposed to be? 15 year olds do not look like that. What is in the water in Riverdale? Pfffff what am I talking about Archie is Just Like That TM.

Also something about the way the actors deliver thier lines. I can't explain it but it's hilarious. Maybe just cause it's the pilot and everything's a little stilted still.

Also I think Kevin wants to hit that (Archie). #LetKevinHitThat2022 #LetKevinBeArchiesGayAwakening2022

Oh Archie's music passion my beloved. I forgot that one too. Season 1 may not be as batshit as its descendants but it has it's gems.

Betty and Archie: having their disgusting little heterosexual talk

Me looked in the background: omg Pop Tate 😍😍😍

I used to laugh at the sketches of Riverdale on tiktok because the facial expressions were so greatly exaggerated. But nope, it's actually Just Like TM.

Omg Veronica's slow-mo entrance my beloved. Some would say it's over the top but honestly she's an icon, she's a legend and she is the moment. She deserves this.

Also I know I should be focused on the Archie and Veronica's meet-cute but there's this one shot of Betty's face that is absolutely sending me.

Betty said gay rights because I'm going to be homophobic towards a straight couple.

ALSO FRED ANDREWS. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. ARCHIE STOP BITCHING AT YOUR FATHER.

Forgot just how... Karen-like Betty's mom was in season 1. I know it's out of worry but I can't wait for her character to flesh out (as much as it can on a CW show). Also I did not know Betty has ADHD?

Archie, honey, what is your handwriting. Okay, if Betty has ADHD then I want Archie to be dyslexic. They bond over being neurodivergent and mistake that comradery for love.

Nasty ass early season Chad Reggie 🤮🤮🤮. Where is my is my mafia bimbo meow meow. Give him to me now.

What. What was this moment. ONLY The CW. I would only accept this moment if Veronica was wearing a little bi or pan flag. Hold on.

Guys she sewed them on herself! (her mother taught her!) (I know it looks like shit alright I'm horrible at editing)

JOSIE! AND THE PUSSY CATS. Okay but genuinely they sound really good.

JUSTIN GINGERLAKE ??! Oh she's savage I love her. Also Josie and her girlies all use she/they pronouns because I said so.

Also the way Veronica talks. How does Camilla Mendes pull it off. What ever they're paying her, double it.

"Are you two dating?"

"No we're just friends."

"No he's straight.'

I stand by my earlier statment, #LetKevinHitThat2022

Oh god. The one plot line I wish I could desperately forget is the one where Archie fucks his music teachers. How is nobody noticing these 2 eyes fuck infront of the entire gymnasium.

Oh Fred and Hermione 😔

"Is cheerleading still a thing?"

"Is being the gay best friend still a thing?"

Shots fired. I am loving the mlm wlw hostility. At least The CW got gay on gay violence right.

Cheryl? Body shaming! What year is this?

They're trying to make me like or feel sympathy for Grundy and it's not working. I'm just waiting for her to leave.

Okay no actually I need her to DIE. A student is asking for help because he's feeling guilty and scared of something he's witnessed but your saying no because you fucked him? 🔪🔪🔪

Beronica kiss hello? Young sapphic me blocked this out because they could not deal with the emotions and revelations this brought her. Also this is beginnings/foundation of the Riverdale polycule. Also that kiss was.... a little longer than necessary 😏.

Cheryl is not impressed tho and honestly good for her. But that baiting scene. Sheesh I'm not one to judge be get a better coping mechanism honey. Betty's half moon scars I remember vividly. I wonder if they ever resolved that plotline.

Also. VERONICA ACTUALLY POPPED OFF NOT CLICKBAIT!???!!!???

WE COME AS A MATCHING SET? I AM THAT RECKONING? SORRY CHERYL BOMBSHELL MY SPECIALITY IS ICE?

I am losing it. Is this Riverdale's version of "Freedom is a lenght of rope and God wants you to hang yourself"?

Nope, now I've lost it. That scene! Where Veronica is zipping up Betty's cheerleading outfit and the sweet music is playing and they're all smiles and giggles and she turns around and Veronica compliments her and Betty just touches her in the same way Veronica did her even though Veronica was already set! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOODBYE! The entire show could end right here and I wouldn't care. Also, I see you Veronica's black nail polish.

Oh Betty and Veronica's little chat after that felt very very real. Oh no this Supernatural all over again. Shit show, good moments that keep u coming back.

Okay Betty's mom is giving my mom vibes and that is not okay.

Fred's words to Archie about his future are ringing really true and are a really fresh and good twist on the parents dont support the kids passion trope.

Maybe this first season is actually good? Skdjkskdjd nah.

Omg our favourite trouple doing their entrance!

"What does your heart say?"

Archie: *looks over at Grundy*

Me: Come on, Grundy?!

Archie: *demands lessons*

Me: Oh he chose music!

Oh god.... I keep pausing the fantasy couple scene because I just can't.

Veronica and Kevin, mouthing: ask him about the polycule!

Betty, who can't read lips for shit: power couple? 🤔

The absolute silence on Archie's side. WHY did he look at Grunkle what's her face.

Let's see who's riding the ginger stallion tonight? WHO IS WRITING THESE SCRIPTS?

"Who are you asking for, you or Betty?"

Me: SAY BOTH

Veronica: *doesn't say both*

Me:

Me watching Archie and Veronica kiss even tho the polycule is in shambles before even fully forming:

Veronica and Hermione's relationship. God I wish I had something like that.

"Archie went looking for the girl next door. Instead he found me." Okayyyy, it's giving Jarchie.

Archie and Jughead's scene. First of all Jughead's dark humor. Love it. The talk to her. It'd go a long way. It'd have went a long way with me. Ooof. But also what did happen? Omg gay coming out went wrong!

Me watching the "I can't give you the answer you want" scene trying to focus on literally anything else but the forced monogamy in front of me: huh the way they shot this reminds me of the "I was there where were you scene".

Okay but let's put a pause on the polycule and talk about Barchie. Archie says something along the lines of "You are always perfect, I could never be good enough for you" and earlier on Betty said she's sick of being perfect, the perfect x,y,z for everyone else. I don't know if she's realised this but that may include being the perfect love interest for Archie. And Archie perceives her as Perfect when Betty just wants to be perceived. So if they were ever to get together, polycule or not they'd need to work past that.

Oh Moose. Didn't he just fade into the background as the show moved on or did I just forget him?

Oh Jason? Neat ig. Was he shot and his body dumped after the lake was searched? I can't even remember.

Unhinged rating: 3/10. There were some moments (mostly from Cheryl) mostly from the dialog and things I'd forgotten but this episode is really tame reconsidering my expectations for later seasons.

Tag list (you can ask to be added [or removed] though I doubt anyone will ask: @youre-only-gay-once

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 138: Kevin Party

“Did you guys break up? Can seven-year-olds even do that?”

Remember Doug Out?

The 125th episode of Steven Universe is a small but very fun story about Steven Universe and Connie Maheswaran, two best friends who work as a team to solve a mystery. Steven is already a teenager, and if Connie isn’t thirteen yet she’s awful close (she’s twelve and three quarters on Steven’s midsummer birthday, and school has been in session since Mindful Education), but this feels like a pair of children on an adventure. They’re chaperoned by Connie’s dad, they wear silly disguises and use sillier aliases, and they outright say that their goal is to “ruin some teen’s night.”

Doug Out ends in a cliffhanger, which leads directly to Steven’s abduction, which leads directly to Steven’s journey to and escape from Homeworld, which leads directly to the Breakup Arc, which ends here. That’s fourteen consecutive episodes telling one long story, which happens to be the same number of episodes between Catch and Release kicks off Peridot’s conversion and Hit the Diamond ends our barn adventure. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Act II and Act III of Steven Universe have similar sweeping midpoint storylines: both see a radical change occur, and while our middle act’s is more obvious (two new Gems join our crew and Steven saves the dang planet), Act III has the more important development for Steven himself. Because at the beginning of its sweep, Steven and Connie are kids, and at the end, they’re teenagers.

Granted, I see anyone under the age of 25 as a “kid,” but Kevin Party is a distinctly adolescent episode. The Breakup Arc as a whole covers new ground that a typical kid’s show wouldn’t, and even the one episode without much angst for Steven is about a bunch of teens starting a band. But it’s a whole new step to set an episode at a high school party, complete with drinking (age-appropriate drinks, I’m sure) and no adult supervision. 

After five episodes watching Steven either stressing about Connie or working his way through his guilt, it’s wonderful and devastating that when we finally see her again, she's having a blast. Her new look is one thing, but her effortless mingling with strangers is my favorite thing about Kevin Party. This isn’t a new aspect of her personality. She’s probably been like this for a while. But it’s the first time we’re seeing it, because it’s the first time Steven is seeing it.

In Bubble Buddies, Connie started out so shy that she feared dying without making a single friend, while Steven was so gregarious that he couldn’t help befriending everyone he met. Now he’s the awkward one, reduced to asking the likes of Kevin for advice, and she’s bloomed out of that social anxiety. And it’s not just a matter of her friendship with Steven changing her, even though that’s a major inciting incident: after he helps her come out of her shell, she’s able to practice interacting with peers on a regular basis in a scenario that’s way more helpful in understanding normal human interactions than anything in Steven’s life, because Connie goes to school.

There’s an unstated and uncomfortable truth that Connie needs Steven to have access to his magical world, creating an uneven power dynamic that’s easy to ignore because it fits into the general role of how a main character and side character work on a show like this. But Kevin Party‘s biggest reveal is that just because she needs him if she wants to have cosmic adventures, she doesn’t need him to have a fulfilling life, and she doesn’t need his friendship to be happy.

Thank. Goodness.

Codependency isn’t something to aspire to, and while Steven isn’t intentionally possessive of Connie (yet), their fight boils down to him treating her like a sidekick, someone who gets to do magic stuff with him under his terms. We don’t get to see what she was up to during the Breakup Arc, but I’m so glad her laughter here isn’t performative. She has enough self-worth to not define herself by the boy she likes or the adventures they share, and even if she’s upset that they’re in a fight, we know from our first look at her that she’d be okay if they never ended up reconciling. And that makes her choice to reconcile so much stronger than just shoving them back together because they’ve been apart long enough and the status quo demands it. She doesn’t need Steven in her life, but she wants him in her life, and that’s the difference between an episode about Connie remaining a sidekick in Steven’s mind and an episode about Connie establishing herself as an equal.

Steven and Connie’s affection has always bounced between platonic and romantic, and I love that even now we keep it ambiguous. Steven wears the shirt Connie got him in Steven’s Birthday, which is a gesture of friendship but occurs in an episode that dances around their mutual crush (complete with actual dancing). The moment of seeing each other again is shot like running into an ex, with time slowing down to let the absolute horror set in as the rest of the party fades, but Steven still refers to her only as his best friend. Kevin makes some of the subtext text through his confusion over the status of their relationship, but even if they’re teens now, these two are still young enough that don’t know how to express their deeper feelings.

Sadie Killer gets our guard down just long enough that Kevin Party’s new surge of drama hits like a truck: this is the original show’s most direct predecessor to the tone of Steven Universe Future’s latter half, where the anguish of watching Steven flounder in his relationship with Connie comes to a head. He makes the same mistake here that he’ll make in Together Forever: he’s so desperate for advice that he doesn’t question its source. Which is doubly frustrating because Greg Universe, who has told several stories on-screen about navigating a new relationship, is just a phone call away! I’m not saying I wish Steven actually called him, because all teens make mistakes and there’s any number of reasons he wouldn’t want to ask his dad in the moment, but it speaks to Steven’s inability to think straight when it comes to Connie.

In his final appearance, Kevin shows the closest thing he’s got to depth by helping Steven the only way he knows how. And unlike Beach City Drift, where he makes up a tragic backstory just to be a troll, it’s clear that the mysterious Sabine did a number on Delmarva’s biggest jerk. But I’ve got no patience for the notion that this episode is anything near redemptive for a guy whose idea of being helpful involves emotionally manipulating a vulnerable fourteen-year-old boy into emotionally manipulating a vulnerable thirteen-year-old girl.

Here more than ever, Kevin contrasts Steven’s self-destructive selflessness by being a black hole of self-importance. He only cares about Steven inasmuch as Steven can help him be more popular, not even bothering to ask for his name until it serves his needs. He’s so oblivious to his surroundings that he confuses Lion for a dog (saying that he’s allergic to dogs is a somewhat funny joke, but talking up Connie’s new life by saying she has a dog now is hilarious), and goes out of his way to antagonize his guests. To Steven, other people exist to be helped, which has noble roots but is catastrophic for his self-image. To Kevin, other people exist to admire Kevin.

“Psychopath” is a strong word, and I don’t wanna exaggerate Kevin’s villainy because that takes away from what makes him so insidious: unlike the Final Boss feel of the Diamonds, there’s an abundance of regular people who do the same awful stuff that Kevin does, and acting like he’s some extreme case detracts from the mundanity of everyday evils. Moreover, I remain unqualified to be an armchair psychologist, and the Hare Psychopathy Checklist has plenty of valid criticism, so take any diagnosis using it (or really any psych profile that involves a checklist you can do from home) with a grain of salt. But with all that said, I’ll just leave a link to it right here and let y’all do what you will with it.

The Big Talk gets five and a half episodes of buildup, and it doesn’t disappoint. It’s so perfect that Connie’s reaction to negging is to do what she always does when she sees someone behaving badly: she gets mad and calls it out. Steven’s typical approach to unkind behavior is to double down on his friendliness, but Connie will always put her foot down and demand kindness, whether you’re her best friend or a galactic tyrant. New hair aside, Connie isn’t the one that changes over the course of the Breakup Arc: it begins with her making it clear that she’s hurt while Steven ignores her, and it ends with her making it clear that she’s hurt while Steven listens.

I love that Connie requires no prompting to explain why she didn’t text Steven back, because Full Disclosure shows that she understands how much it hurts to try and connect with a friend who won’t respond. I love that she did go back to talk with him in person while he was on vacation (meaning all of this could’ve been worked through way sooner) because adolescence is suffering and we needed one last little twist of the knife in this arc. And I love that Steven is wise enough to just admit what he did instead of try and defend himself, because their whole fight hinged on his refusal to acknowledge the gravity of his actions, both to Connie and to himself. He doesn’t say the word “sorry” until the very end of his admission, because he means it and wants to provide context for the apology rather than just say “I’m sorry” a bunch.

And it’s so perfect that they don’t end up forming Stevonnie during their reconciliation, and not just because that would’ve given Kevin a win. They make up, but it still takes time to let the lingering pain go away, and it makes Stevonnie’s reappearance in our next episode way more meaningful. After one last display of their fundamental contrast—Steven expresses sympathy for Kevin’s situation with Sabine, while Connie shrugs it off because having a backstory doesn’t mean it’s okay to be a toxic douche—they leave the world of teen parties behind, at least for now. They’ll go back to more adventures right away, traveling to space in Lars of the Stars and Jungle Moon, but they’ll never truly be the same.

Thank goodness.

I’ve never been to this…how do you say…school?

I love that Stevonnie’s disdain for Kevin is here for us even when Stevonnie doesn’t show up in the episode.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

It’s not just the catharsis factor that gets this in my Top 25. Kevin Party is incredible at capturing the dread I associate with this type of teen party as someone who often felt like Steven as a kid (three traits that don’t work well with teen parties, even if like me you were a fairly social teenager: clinical depression, teetotalism due to the double whammy of that depression and family history of addiction, and having a bad ear that makes it impossible to hear people talk when the music gets loud enough). Beyond the personal connection, we also get one last look at the show’s greatest villain, and an episode that respects Connie so much more than a normal cartoon would. This is how you end an arc, folks.

Top Twenty-Five

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Back to the Kindergarten

Steven’s Dream

Kevin Party

When It Rains

The Good Lars

Lars’s Head

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

That Will Be All

The New Crystal Gems

Storm in the Room

Room for Ruby

Lion 4: Alternate Ending

Doug Out

Are You My Dad?

I Am My Mom

Stuck Together

The Trial

Off Colors

Gemcation

Raising the Barn

Sadie Killer

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Adventures in Light Distortion

Gem Heist

The Zoo

Rocknaldo

Dewey Wins

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

Tiger Philanthropist

No Thanks!

     6. Horror Club      5. Fusion Cuisine      4. House Guest      3. Onion Gang      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

[ifeveristoday]

Let me explain… no, there is too much. Let me sum up.

Strap in kids, it’s Boom! Buffy issue #20 and the last issue we get this year. So long and fuck off, 2020.

Spoilers underneath the cut

Well. That was bracing.

In this issue we get the spotlight on the adult characters and their struggles - the status of Giles and Jenny’s relationship (on a break), Wesley Wyndam Price trying to convince Faith of her sacred duty and oh, that vampires are real, and a direct callback to Wesley’s standalone issue and the shadowy Watcher’s Council, and Anya, who finally reveals her true purpose of being in Sunnydale. Or does she?

Subplots involve Willow’s conversation and off-page deal with Evil! Xander, the status of Robin and Buffy’s relationship (ghosty ghost avoidance on Buffy’s part), and the unspoken elephant of broken trust in the room (everyone else).

There really is a lot going on - so I’m going to break it down by character, because that has always been a strong point in Jordie’s reimagining of the Buffyverse. Jordie writes about the characters and their motivations and their inner lives and not so much about the Plot (though she’s improved on that front). 

Jenny

Clearly has seen and suffered a lot of Shit, but it isn’t delved into for trauma porn - and she’s had enough. She loves Giles, but she doesn’t want to be a part of whatever is unfolding, but she still has compassion for Evil! Xander and can see that his actions are not too far off from his human self’s desires, only twisted. Evil! Xander wants love and attention and now he has the power to force it  - but somehow is talked out of it by Willow. Jenny makes the choice to protect herself, even if it means walking away from Giles and their relationship. 

Giles 

When not in a Jenny-daze, Giles picks up an important clue from their last conversation and calls in the troops to discuss the matter of trust and truth. It’s a nice nod to the previous issue’s reunion with Willow and the rest of the Scoobies - Willow not being comfortable about the trust fall, even though she suggested it, and here, being evasive and lying to everyone about where she got her shiny new trinket. I also notice none of her adventures in gay witch cult utopia have been folded into the Jordie timeline yet, but I assume that will be a reveal for later. Giles trying to mediate the conversation-turned-argument is interesting because for a lot of the series, he’s been on the side of caution and covering up because of the Council’s indoctrination process. 

Anya

This was the surprise of the issue for me and one of the high points - all those previous crumbs of Anya referring to herself as a demon witch, and then Giles saying she was a watcher too, and then mention of a past Watcher being friends/school mate of a demon, and somehow just appearing at the right possible time to solve problems/save the Scoobies while hiding in plain sight. Anya being the connection to the Watcher’s Council and her dealings with vampires, Wolfram and Hart, she’s the perfect agent of controlled chaos. The reveal of her being the demon figure helping out the previous Slayer Morgan (who I now think is the original character they were hyping up issues ago and all that talk about multiverses and such - she and Anya are most likely behind what happened in Hellmouth). A revenge demon working with a Slayer is just *chef’s kiss* because who wouldn’t want revenge if they’re a young teenage girl suddenly tasked to save the world and not have her own life? 

Anya’s conversation with Willow about demons being morally grey and that souls don’t need to come into it (along with the Princess Bride reference -  “Anyone who tells you is a fool or selling you something”) is one of the themes running throughout the issue. Jenny hints at it with her compassion for Xander’s soulless self and his still very human desires and wants, and Anya’s team up with Morgan at the end. They don’t think what they’ve done (the Watcher killings) is bad because they’re giving the Slayers their normal lives back - Anya can open up portals to store her magic knickknacks, why wouldn’t she be able to open up new timelines to ‘save’ Slayers? It would fit into her revenge scheme against the Watcher’s Council too. It casts a different light on her previous actions - giving Buffy the stone to call Xander’s soul back for an unspoken fee later, but not money, showing up at the eleventh hour to lead the girls into battle during Hellmouth with her convenient stash of weapons, tricking Dru into setting Camazotz free to gain Buffy’s and Giles’s trust later...and she knows Giles’s full name, so you know stuff is going to go down.

Willow

Tangled web, Wills. And all the little lies - why didn’t she tell her best friend and everyone else that she got the new shiny gem from Anya? Who is she really protecting? Herself or/and Xander? Willow’s (un)trustworthiness and growing capabilities in magic are going to be Issues with the gang later, definitely. And a possible source of isolation, because everyone at that meeting is paired off and she’s alone - Buffy and Giles presenting the slayer/watcher bond, Kendra and Rose as girlfriends and protective of one another. 

This is also an example of Anya being a subtle architect of chaos - she scolds Willow about good and evil being too simple of a concept and that Willow should be smarter than that, and suggests the possibility of doing the wrong thing (in Willow’s case, lying) for the right reason (saving Xander). This could also be a clue to the other Willows we’ve seen in previous issues - it could actually be original time line Willow just visiting multiverses to check on Xander and Buffy.

Wesley

is finally in Sunnydale and completely out of his element, not only as an Englishman in small town America, but as a watcher with an unruly lone wolf of a Slayer, who doesn’t even believe in the cause or that vampires are real. It’s hilarious. They provide the lighter side in the issue, and I look forward to what Jordie has planned for them, because right now they’re channeling Odd Couple energy and I’m here for it.

Also, Wesley brings up the English vs Irish rivalry and FINALLY, someone says it. There weren’t enough Spike and Angel fights about their places of origin.

If Wesley’s ideals are just the baby version of Giles’s loyalty to the Council, Faith is the pragmatic version of Buffy’s stressed but down for the cause Slayer.

Faith

Faith doesn’t really question why she suddenly can cause a bunch of messed up looking people dusty death, because vampires can’t possibly be real, but aliens, sure. It’s a refreshing and meta take on the whole lore - Faith even cheekily bringing up that vampires are clearly a metaphor for sex and she doesn’t have time for that.

Look at that, a skeptical but roll with the punches Bad Guys-because what else is she going to do- Faith. Not oversexualized but blunt and funny and upfront about what she really wants - which is a burger. A good update to the character. I do wonder if Jenny’s earlier line about ‘good Faith’ was purposeful because of this introduction to Faith, or just a regular line.

Buffy

After all she’s been through in the previous issues, Buffy takes more of a backseat in this issue, but that’s okay - there really was SO Much that Buffy and Robin’s continuing communication problem really wouldn’t fit as an A plotpoint.

Girl still has huge trust issues, and with Willow’s defensiveness and her own reluctance to really talk to Robin, that’s going to be a problem for later on.

Robin

Still juggling the responsibilities of being a regular guy, Buffy’s almost boyfriend, trainee Watcher, and son of presumed dead Slayer Nikki (though with what we’ve seen so far, Nikki might be alive in another multiverse), Robin is mostly the diplomat in this issue, giving everyone respectful space. 

Rose and Kendra

Are cute and happy together and that’s all that needs to be said really. The only couple that’s figured out communication and presenting a united front in this issue, honestly. #goals

Morgan Palmer

Another WOC slayer! Can’t wait to see what she did/has plans for the Scoobies and Sunnydale.

[ellsey]

Agents of Shield Rewatch 7x08 After, Before

Deke had good intentions, so good for him

Enoch’s “Oh dear” is HILARIOUS

May is so over this already

I love love love Elena

“I have faith...in mathematics” this is the most Jemma thing to say I love her

Yay they found them!

Also this was the first appearance of the Blue Shirt

You know what I’m talking about

“Wait, what can you do?” Hahahaha poor Sousa

Look at Sousa’s concern for Daisy I cry

Also he’s definitely not calling her Agent Johnson anymore

👀

“I’m not doing time math” mood

“Couldn’t wait til I was all here?” COULSON NO

“I’d rather have a thin plan than live through the 80′s again” HAHAHAHA MAY

Y’all don’t even know how big my hair was then it was amazing

May’s abilities are growing. Interesting.

Omg poor May feeling Elena and Mack’s “reunion”...hahaha

Kora!!!

She’s kind of emo but I love her ok

The way Elena just grabs that diviner...QUEEN

Also Jiaying is as beautiful as ever

May looks like she wants to punch this guy which...let her

Elena and May are such a brilliant pair. Why did we never get more of them before??

I’m am SCREAMING at the way Sousa looks at Enoch when he says he spent time with Neanderthals

I love every one of these people/robots and I regret nothing

Dichen has a wig on, yes?

Elena and May are about to explore some feeelingssss

This is amazing omg

The candles? The tea? The complaining?

Just everything

May wants to fight!!

This is so perfect though

So robots get thirsty? What a strange thing.

“I’m glad he’s here.”

SHE’S GLAD HE’S HERE

“That makes me happy too”

DAD APPROVES

Legit I am dying still at this even knowing what’s coming

“You ever jumped out of an airplane before?” “Twice, though I only had a parachute the second time.”

JEMMA ANNE SIMMONS

And then Sousa’s face hahahaha

But also she made him a new prosthetic what a gem of a person

Ok, but, like how did she know precisely how to make it? Did she like scan him under the guise of checking him out? Did she just say, “I’m a doctor, let me look at you and make sure everything is ok?”

I just have a lot of questions about this, ok?

Sousa apologizes to Jemma which is very sweet of him, and Jemma is her lovely self and now everyone is family

That’s how this works, right?

Oh noooooo, Elena blames herself for what happened with her uncle

Holding in all the energy causes Kora intense pain...my poor sweet girl

I’m just so happy that she was given the chance to live and learn how to use her gift

Legit I thought Daisy had quaked that gun away, but alas it’s just half-rate villain Nathaniel

I can see how what Nathaniel is saying would appeal to Kora. He’s basically giving her what she wants and needs to hear. That’s she’s not a dangerous burden, and that she can be useful just the way she is. 

I just love Kora a lot y’all

Awww Jemma is leaving a message for Fitz. :(

And Deke is so touched as well. It must mean so much to him to get to see the love his grandparents had when he had to grow up without much of that.

May and Elena are like...ummm...excuse you....wut....

Kora picked a bad time to have a teenage rebellion though

I mean she’s not a teen anymore I would guess but...it still applies

I’m still shocked that Daisy has a half-sister like whaaaaaaaat?

May did that flip in the Quinjet just for kicks

The way Sousa helps Daisy up warms my cold heart

“I don’t have to bounce back”

That’s like so profound

Elena has always felt like she has to bounce back. Go back to where she started from. But what she’s discovered now is that she doesn’t have to bounce back. She doesn’t have to keep everything the same. It’s the same thing she talked about with Deke before. Elena herself was maintaining the status quo in her own life.

But she doesn’t have to do that. She can move forward without having to worry about looking back to where she had been. It’s one of the reasons I feel like she was so grounded at the end of the series.

But we’ll talk about that later.

Anyway tldr: I love Elena and I love this for her

Another beautiful Mackelena hug I cry

Daisy get’s back in the healing chamber, Sousa has a new leg, and he takes his customary seat with a look of acceptance that this is where he’s going to be for the near future

Coulson has to power down to recharge

And the stage is set for the time loops

Because the time drive is not fixed oops

Meanwhile Nathaniel is terrorizing Afterlife 

Cool

Spoiler alert: It’s not actually cool

This episode is kind of cool because it manages to walk the line between filler and moving things along. May and Elena get a 20/10 on the Fight Out Your Feelings scale because, well, they did. Elena also gets a 10/10 on the Figuring Stuff Out scale because she’s been big braining all over the place this season. And finally Kora gets a 10000000/10 on the Look At Your Life Choice scale because sweetie...no...

The song for this episode is (Keep Feeling) Fascination by The Human League

I love how everyone in the 80′s just caked on the makeup. They all look amazing.

[eviehalliwell]

INTRODUCING. EVERLEIGH HALLIWELL

NAVIGATE.

About

Visage

Musings

Aesthetics

Dossier ( WIP; aka full biography, expanded personality, wanted connections, interaction navi, and other fun little thingies)

BASIC STATS.

FULL NAME: Everleigh Anne Halliwell

NICKNAME(S): Evie/Eve

AGE: 26 years old.

BIRTHDAY: March 15, 1994.

GENDER: Cis Woman

PRONOUNS: She / Her / Hers

ORIENTATION: Heterosexual (Tragically)

BIRTHPLACE: Olympia, Washington

CURRENT LOCATION: Seattle, Washington

OCCUPATION: Artist

MARITAL STATUS: Single.

CHILDREN: N/A

PETS: Two cats. A smoky gray one named Cinder and an orange tabby named Tigger.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE.

HEIGHT: 5′3

WEIGHT: 114 lbs

HAIR LENGTH/COLOR: Just below her shoulder & dark brown.

EYE COLOR: Light brown

PIERCINGS: Left and right lobes, left nostril.

TATTOOS: A butterfly on her right wrist.

ETHNICITY: African-American, White, Indigenous Canadian

LIFE FACTS.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: death (labor complications and car accident), mental/emotional abuse, mental hospital.

Everleigh was born in Olympia, Washington in a tragic start to a kind of tragic life. Her birth mother died due to complications and her birth father was never even in the picture. But in a way Everleigh was one of the lucky ones because she found a family right away.

The Halliwells were a rather wealthy and well known family in Olympian. They'd had fertility problems for many years until finally they adopted a young boy and a year later adopted Everleigh.

Despite their elite and wealthy status the Halliwells were very loving parents. They adored both their children and would have done anything for them.

But a car accident would shatter their perfect little family only two days before Christmas when Evie was seven years old.

The strangest part was the fact that Evie had been inconsolable the whole night seemingly without reason. She'd begged her parents to stay home from their annual charity ball rather than leaving her and her brother with the nanny.

But they went anyway and hours later the police showed up with the news that their car had gone off a bridge into the water.

Once again orphaned the Halliwell children went into the care of their only remaining legal relative. An aunt of their father's who was quite the opposite of their parents. She was mean and stubborn and had no idea how to raise two grieving children. Especially one like Evie who always seemed to be a little bit stranger than other children.

Aunt Gretchen even sent Everleigh away to a mental hospital twice for "hallucinations". For a while Evie had even begun to doubt her own sanity.

But thanks to the support of her big brother, who was certain she wasn't mentally ill but rather gifted, Evie managed to overcome each and every hurdle. 

That's not to say it didn't leave its scars. She still has nightmares about those years. And even though she knows that her strange abilities are real, she doesn't fully trust them either.

After both siblings were legal adults and received access to their inheritances from their parents, they made the mutual decision to moved away from Olympia and all the pain they'd endured there. Seattle became their new home and the last few years have seen them both at their happiest.

STRENGTHS & WEAKNESSES.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Compassionate | Determined | Effervescent | Gentle 

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Impulsive | Indecisive | Overemotional | Overly-Trusting

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Neutral Good.

WESTERN ZODIAC: Sun - Pisces | Moon - Aries | Rising - Libra

She’s pretty much a soft ray of sunshine like 75% of the time. But she does have very strong emotions and when she’s feeling upset or angry she feels them fucking hard and tends to lash out. When it comes to defending herself she can be a bit of a pushover, however for those she loves she will go to war a thousand times over. She has no idea what the words “impulse control” mean in conjunction. She’s also stubborn and determined like nothing else. If someone tells her she can’t do something 99% of the time she’s gonna at least try to prove them wrong if not actually succeed.

THE LITTLE THINGS.

She is aware of her banshee abilities but hasn’t done much research into it and therefore doesn’t even know that there’s a name for it. This of course also means she’s in the dark to everything else supernatural too.

She’s deathly allergic to wasps and bees

Her preferred medium is painting, but she does enjoy sketching/drawing as well. She’s attempted sculpting before but it failed hilariously. 

Her hobbies also include scrapbooking and collecting gems and crystals.

She likes to dance around in pajamas and socks.

Her favorite time of day is sunrise. She’s the kind of person who is all about growth, change, and new beginnings and watching the sunrise always fills her with joy at the possibilities of a new day.

She has a minor obsession with butterflies, because of her feelings on change and the butterfly is a symbol of beautiful change.

Spring is her favorite season and Christmas is her least favorite holiday.

Her favorite color is rose gold.

[gem-rewatch]

SU rewatch- S1E9- Tiger Millionaire

This episode is our first major character development one, this time focusing on Amethyst.

Amethyst... at the beginning of the series, seems to be stuck with a severe case of “middle child syndrome.” We learn a lot more about this as the show continues and the Gems’ dynamics deepen, but from her interactions with Steven thus far she reads most as an older sister figure to him. She’s a wild child, someone who’s often the instigator of whatever nonsense Steven’s gotten into that day. Before Steven was born she was the baby of the group- but now that she’s not the youngest, she’s suddenly faced with the expectation of being more responsible and grown up.

The thing is, it’s only been like this for little over twelve years. And for a quartz who’s already lived hundreds and hundreds of years? “Growing up” suddenly becomes quite a daunting task.

An important theme of this show is change instead of rigidity, however- and just like Rose embraced that change when she gave up her form to have Steven, all of the other Gems get to evolve as individuals as well.

That’s just part of the magic of the Earth!

Pearl: “You’re always putting us in danger with your little outbursts!!”

Amethyst’s expression immediately informs us that she’s intimately used to Pearl’s scolding. Nothing new to see here. Just Pearl squawking on as usual. She deflects her jabs, already hardened to it.

But when Garnet steps in...

Garnet: “Amethyst. You are a Crystal Gem. You need to act like it.”

A few interesting details to note here...

Amethyst visibly crumples. She’s quick to recover... quick to put up a mask, but it’s clear that this shook her. 

Even Pearl looks surprised that Garnet spoke up, which suggests that she normally takes Amethyst’s side in these types of disputes and it’s just Pearl arguing.

Whereas Amethyst had little to no reaction to Pearl, she seems legitimately upset to hear the same from Garnet. She probably values her opinion a lot more than Pearl’s, so to receive a scolding from both of them... ouch.

Pearl: “I think we really got through to her!” Garnet: *growls in displeasure and walks away.*

Garnet is well aware that this status quo is only pushing Amethyst further away. There has to be a better way to get through to her about this...

It really says something about the Gems’ own oversight of what’s right in front of them that they left to do goodness knows what and forgot about Steven, standing in the corner of the house, trapped in a cocoon. It’s not just Steven who occasionally has this problem.

Please, Amethyst. I beg you, from the bottom of my heart: 

Beat up Ronaldo for me.

Amethyst: “In the ring, nobody can tell me what to do! And if they try, I hit ‘em in the face with a chair!”

Gawdddd the delivery of this always makes me laugh. 

This does make me wonder how difficult it was for Amethyst early on, though- after she was found by Rose Quartz and the others. Up until then she’d spent her whole life fending for herself. Alone. In the Kindergarten. Unlike every other Gem, who emerged with orders, not a single soul ever instructed her on anything until the Crystal Gems. I bet a big part of her still yearns for this pure freedom sometimes, even if it was a lonely existence. 

Amethyst: i’m so sick of being told what to do man Steven: *slams that relate button*

I love that Amethyst is the one Steven bonds really close with first. It makes a lot of sense, since they both get what it’s like to be seen as “the screw up” or “the childish one.”

Steven: (impersonating Pearl) “Oh Steven, I told you before not to take peanut butter on missions!” Steven: (impersonating Garnet) “I’m not going to say anything, but I expect you to know that was wrong.”

Pearl vocalizes every concern that even briefly flits across her mind.

On the contrary, if Garnet chooses to vocalize a concern, then it’s. A big concern. 

Both Steven and Amethyst intuitively know this.

Also Steven, you’re precious and I love you, you big nerd. Absolutely impeccable impressions. Please go into theater.

I will always think it’s hilarious that Steven’s idea of an “unlikable persona” to put on for the wrestling matches is just. A rich industrialist. 

Pearl: Um...watcha got there?

Amethyst: A smoothie :-)

I REALLY love the color palette of these little one-frame action shots. 

Okay, so the whole “mean” act Steven and Amethyst have put on as part of their wrestling tag team. Half of wrestling is just... acting, honestly- and being mean is their shtick. It’s a sort of love-to-hate thing for the audience, it’s FUN to have a good vs. bad dynamic in spectator events like this. Steven didn’t mean to take it as far as he did, he just got carried away with the act. (A recurring problem for him. See: Steven and the Stevens)

But Amethyst? Pearl has been scolding her for being too wild and loud and rude for so long that she’s started to internalize this... and willfully act this way. It’s like a two-for-one combo of punishment to self and acting out for attention.

Amethyst: “Listen, Steven. You can’t let anyone make you feel like garbage.” Steven: “Is that how you feel?” Amethyst: “I only feel how I want to feel.”

And then during the tag team championship, Pearl and Garnet intervene... and poor Amethyst just snaps. She’s furious. Her one outlet, and she’s so afraid they’re gonna take it away from her!

During her fight with Garnet, notice- this is far more heated than just a typical Crystal Gem practice brawl. She’s squeezing Garnet’s midsection hard, MUCH like Garnet did to Peridot in Catch and Release. 

Amethyst is outright trying to poof Garnet here. That’s how angry she is.

It’s only after Steven gives a stirring explanation of why they’re doing this, why they need this outlet, that the two of them begin to understand. Just... let them have this space.

I adore how Garnet and Pearl just... turn the encounter into another part of the “act” by starting the whole “you have to defeat us to save wrestling” storyline. It’s a nice way for them to get into the wrestling spirit themselves, to support Amethyst’s interest. 

Amethyst: “Sorry for, um- sorry.” (Sorry for almost poofing you, Garnet.) Garnet: “Same here.” (Same here- for being too harsh and not being supportive of your outlet.)

[artificialqueens]

Sunshine, and Glory Too (Trixya) - Chapter 1 - fannyatrollop

AN: This is technically my first time posting here… not counting the collab fic with Grey-Darling because that Earth angel posts it up for both of us. I’m an independent woman this go around. On AO3, I have a nasty habit of going in and picking at my work constantly, so my writing gets a lot of post-production edits that way. It’s why I don’t sleep much. I don’t think I’d be able to do that here, so AQ will forever get my fics after they’ve been finished/edited to death and back.

So here I am, bearing a quality-controlled sort-of Princess fic. xoxo, Gossip Nya.

The night before the twins were born, their mother dreamt that one of her daughters would accomplish something truly wonderful. She always said that the moment Pearl was born, she got the feeling it would be her.

Unfortunately, Trixie was the one she pushed out after she had filled her quota for love. This sad fact was even reflected in her naming choices: Pearl the precious gem, and Beatrice, after a dead grandmother. Her words and behaviour to her daughters as they grew would only prove the point further; as far as the Baroness Liaison-Mattel was concerned, her daughter Trixie was an afterthought.

Trixie consoled herself by thinking that all her mother’s waffle about Pearl being born special was just the way she justified her blatant favouritism, and for her part, Pearl thought so too. She thought it was absolutely hilarious that she, out of the two of them, was supposed to be the special one.

“She tells people I’m quiet because I’m thoughtful, not because I can barely speak my own native tongue,” Pearl would say, on those odd nights when they would share a bed like they did when they were little girls. “Seriously, Trix, I’m the family idiot. You’re the one I’d be watching if I was her.”

“But you’re the pretty one,” Trixie would respond, gently poking the tip of her sister’s nose.

Poor Pearl never wanted to be exalted above her. She always seemed to be apologizing for her existence, and though Trixie secretly thought it was the least she could do, Pearl had always been a wonderful sister and friend to her. When Pearl brought herself down to cheer her up, Trixie would naturally build her back up.

They had lived that way all their lives. Having no one else, the sisters could not afford to be rivals. Something like real love existed between them, bravely making cracks in the resentment their mother’s treatment would naturally create.

Trixie was no angel. She was capable of feeling jealousy towards Pearl. But in the end, when nobody else cared to, it was Pearl who held her hand, and that mattered a great deal.

***

For all her talk about being an idiot, Pearl had accomplished at least one important thing in their short lives. If it wasn’t for her, they probably wouldn’t be the crown princess’ ladies in waiting.

It wouldn’t have been possible at all without their mother’s aggressive push to involve her daughters in high society. Though the Liaison-Mattels were only rich in status nowadays, the baroness had the tenacity of someone who never did take well to the loss of her husband’s fortune, which she spoke of as if it was simply misplaced under a cushion rather than gambled away through a vice passed down his noble line for generations. Wherever the money had gone, they were still landed aristocrats and there was no reason to behave lower than their rank allowed. Besides, until the girls’ father actually landed himself in debtor’s prison it really wasn’t all that bad. They could show themselves among their kind of people.

By this logic, Pearl and Trixie were perfectly worthy of being presented as companions to Princess Violet, heiress apparent to the throne, on the occasion of her heading off to the Royal Academy for Royal Ladies. Her Royal Highness had decreed that she wished to mingle with the nobility, so that she might get to meet other young ladies, and choose her companions according to her own taste. Naturally, a grand ball at the royal palace was in order.

There was some fun involved in preparing for the ball. The girls were both well-versed in breathing life into old gowns, for it was not always within their means to commission new ones for the season’s big events. Pearl carefully restored their mother’s old debutante gown, and Trixie, once she had recovered from nearly suffocating on the dust she had disturbed by producing it for her use, went to work on one of her namesake grandmother’s party dresses.

Beatrice the Elder had, reportedly, been very fashionable in her time, but the aggressive pastel ruffles that threatened to swallow the dress whole were no longer au currant. Even so, Trixie did not have the heart to get rid of them, not completely. She liked the way the dress made her look like a cloud, as light as she could possibly claim to be. Her body was not shown to advantage in the sleek styles favoured by the fashionable crowd, anyhow.

Neither of them expected anything to come out of being presented to the princess. For Pearl and Trixie, the evening’s excitement was based solely on the simple fact that they would be going somewhere. They did not foresee that their family would be contacted with the news that Pearl had been selected as Princess Violet’s new lady-in-waiting.

It puzzled Pearl, for she had only exchanged some brief words with the princess, about music. Her cheeks got pink when she recalled this brief conversation to Trixie, who had left her alone to go on a quest for refreshments when the interaction had taken place.

Being a small kingdom, news traveled fast, and they eventually came to know that it was only Pearl who had been selected as the princess’ companion. Violet was known to be decisive, to know exactly what she wanted and what she wouldn’t abide by, so as soon as she expressed her inclination that was that. Though she had every right to be like this, her actions still created a buzz among the privileged. The princess was, after all, entitled to having as many ladies as she pleased. It was strange for her to only come away from the evening with one. There were whispers about the princess being confused, behaving like a prince choosing a bride.

If that really was the case, it wouldn’t be surprising. Violet had been brought up like a prince in many ways, with full knowledge that she would rule on her own right when the time came. Many a frustrated adviser to the king had expressed worries about the day their first queen regnant would ascend to the throne, as she was already proving rather inclined to getting her own way.

The Baroness Liaison-Mattel, in her infinite wisdom as a well brought-up lady, and one who was acquainted with the gossip about the princess’ character, had the gall to insist on her second daughter tagging along into service as a condition for taking on her precious Pearl.

“They’re twins,” she said, coolly staring the royal envoy in the face as a torrent of sweat sprouted from his brow. “Surely I’m not expected to have them separated, am I?”

The princess delivered another sizable shock by taking them both without much of a fuss. Trixie was sure she could thank Pearl whispering into her ear on her behalf for the opportunity, rather than her mother’s impertinence. She felt more comfortable thanking the sister she liked for her good fortune, rather than the mother she resented. Her assumption was confirmed upon her first meeting with Violet.

“I hear you’re clever,” she said, addressing her words to the wall rather than to Trixie. “And that you’re an accomplished musician.”

Trixie nodded, and then remembered that Violet was not glancing in her direction. Trixie wondered if she held all of her conversations this way, or if she only did this with people she felt were beneath her.

“I have been said to be those things,” she said.

Violet took a lengthy pause.

“I should like to hear you someday,” she said, finally, giving her a quick glance. “I do like music.”

***

The Academy was located at what may as well have been the very end of the Earth, especially to a lady as unaccustomed to travel as Trixie. A carriage led to a ship, which led to yet another carriage on a journey requiring frequent stops. Pearl slept through most of the ordeal, often slumped against Her Royal Highness herself. Violet would venture to run a tender finger through her hair when she didn’t think Trixie was looking, or when she was too weary to care that she saw.

Trixie was only able to rest when her body could not physically maintain its refusal to sleep without the basic comforts she was used to, a common ground she shared with Violet. The two of them would share insomniac silences while Pearl slept and Violet’s fae companion, Fame, had drifted off to attend to business neither of them were privy to. Sometimes they attempted conversation, but they mostly gazed out of their respective windows and waited for another member of their party to take charge of brightening the air. When she chose to be among them, Fame proved to be the most eager to step up to that challenge.

At approximately five hundred years of age, Fame was apparently considered a tad young to be part of a royal entourage by the judgment of her people. She normally looked and behaved as if she was of age with the rest of the group, though she had known Violet since she was an infant and sometimes shared stories about her childhood antics. According to Violet, Fame looked exactly as she did then when she was small. She would carry her in her arms to soothe her if she hurt herself, and rock her to sleep while singing lullabies in the fae tongue. Even though she was told not to coddle her, Fame persisted in her gentle ways with the young princess. As her presence was more of a boon to the king than it was to Fame, disciplining her for ignoring his wishes was not really an option.

Trixie had never met a faerie, nor had she shared any contact with magical beings before entering royal service, so she couldn’t really say she had any expectations about Fame. She hadn’t been certain she’d get to meet her at all.

Her knowledge of the fae folk implied that they would only bother to interact with humans if an effort was made to attract them. Trixie wouldn’t have been surprised if Fame had refused to appear before her, but appear she did. She would speak to Trixie when Pearl and Violet were too caught up in the camaraderie they had fallen into ever since they met, and, having noted her discomfort, offered to put her to sleep at various points. She swore her magic was perfectly safe, and that she was skilled enough not to accidentally put her in an eternal sleep, but Trixie would always decline and then regret her choice, vowing to accept the next time Fame offered her help.

Fame told Trixie all she knew about the Academy, to help her pass the time.

Essentially, Trixie learned, it had been established as a place to allow princesses from a remarkably large geographical reach to mingle. Princesses generally receive plenty of education at home, so there would have to be something more in it for royal families to send their daughters abroad in such large numbers. A place where a sisterhood of princesses could emerge, it was assumed, would make diplomacy an easier task, and create alliances that would otherwise be impossible. It was known that women were the relationship builders of the world.

The founder was rumoured to be some sort of fae. Fame was certain they were, for they were able to produce fae companions for exceptionally beautiful girls of low birth and essentially transform them into marriageable princesses. There was no way these special cases could be so blessed without the help of a benevolent fae. Even someone like Trixie, gifted with rank though not with gold, would never have been able to attract one with her family’s resources.

“Which is a shame, really,” Fame had said, toying with one of Trixie’s curls. “I’m certain you and your sister are more than worthy on your own merits. Alas, my kind are far too fond of gold and other shiny things. Precious few would be wise enough to know what a pleasure it would have been to help raise such charming girls as the two of you.”

Trixie hadn’t known how to respond to that, had simply nodded and thanked her. The look in Fame’s eyes betrayed her true age. It was a bit overwhelming to be under Fame’s gaze. To Trixie, it felt like her mother might look at her like that if she ever decided to love her.

***

The Academy’s grounds were a whole universe unto themselves, with a grand palace as its centerpiece. Upon entry, the palace would prove to be larger on the inside than the already mammoth structure they beheld as they approached. Pearl grasped Trixie’s hands in hers as they pulled in, gasping at the sprawling campus.

If there were stories of lonesome ladies simply disappearing in its halls, or somewhere in the surrounding wilderness, it would be reasonable to assume that they were true. Though she was one of Violet’s official companions, Trixie was more or less left to fend for herself from early on. She was told that she had all the freedom in the world to carry on with her days how she pleased, and that she would be sent for if her presence was required. As she was seldom needed, she had plenty of time to risk being swallowed up by her temporary home.

Pearl settled into her role as the princess’ companion with far more fervour than Trixie did. Perhaps that was to be expected. Violet liked to keep her close, and the longer they were all together the clearer it became that Pearl liked it too. She started sleeping in Violet’s chamber a few days after their arrival, and seemed rather pleased to do so. The space in her and Trixie’s shared bedroom became a sore sight with how lonesome it was. Trixie tolerated it, though, as there was no challenge to her in growing accustomed to a state of affairs that had been clear from the beginning. She was no stranger to being unwanted, to the point where it was almost a comfortable feeling.

Still, Pearl had been Trixie’s constant companion since birth, and she missed the way it was when they only had each other. Trixie missed being a sister. She wished her twin had not been taken away from her.

When she thought of it that way, though, she would be struck with guilt. All things considered, Violet had been rather gracious in her treatment of her. It would benefit their family if the future queen decided Pearl was her favourite, and Trixie prayed their mother wouldn’t spoil that with her personality.

Not long after their arrival, a new member was added to Violet’s entourage, easing Trixie’s loneliness a little.

Kim was the most promising young seamstress in their kingdom, and had been selected to take charge of the crown princess’ wardrobe. Violet had a keen interest in fashion. Her wardrobe was enormous, and would only continue to grow. As part of her duties, Kim would sit with the princess and create new designs for gowns, with her creative input. She would often be sent to gather materials, and spent a large portion of her time sewing, though she was mercifully allowed to procure an assistant or two for particularly difficult projects. Kim was a true prodigy, quite adept at going it alone most times, but even someone with golden hands like hers sometimes needed a little help.

Trixie would offer her services when Kim required them, and sometimes even when she did not, so they could spend more time together. Kim had a room set aside for her use, but when she was not abroad with the freedom to chase rumours of some wonderful new type of fabric and a bottomless budget, she would share a bed with Trixie. It was almost like being a child again, sharing secrets with her sister until the sun rose back up, or until they both nodded off.

“If I had my way,” Kim said, on a particularly silly night. “My eyes would cover half my face.”

Trixie had laughed out loud at that.

“You could ask Fame to make it so. I might do it too, then.”

As her presence was only specifically requested when her princess wished to hear her play, it didn’t take long for Trixie to start feeling like a useless charge. Even so, she was determined not to fall into an eternal sulk. It was not because she valued cheerfulness, or had a particular wish to be agreeable to the people around her. Trixie had always had a contrary streak. If the world insisted on putting her in a situation where it mattered little if she lived or died, letting that get her down would be akin to losing, and she was not going to stand for that. She may have been a fearsome general in another life, or a very stubborn mule.

So she devoted more time to her lute, and her harp, than she ever had at home. She had free rein of the library, and had as much paper as she desired at her disposal to write if she so chose, even if she wasn’t a great poet or thinker. She laid in the sun and let freckles bloom on her skin, enjoying the lack of a shrill voice telling her it made her look too low class. Sometimes, she joined Violet and Pearl in their amusements, and made the most out of having Kim nearby when she did. She focused more on her freedom, and less on her desire for someone to share it with.

***

Written into the code of conduct at the Academy was a truly noble attempt to create a semblance of equality among its many residents. This was mostly meant to benefit the special cases, those girls who had been so charitably plucked from obscurity in order to keep royal bloodlines fresh and inspire the dreams of the downtrodden. To discourage divisions over rank, every young lady within the walls of the academy, whoever they may be, should be referred to as one would a noble lady. Violet and Trixie, different as they were in rank, would be known as Lady Violet and Lady Beatrice to those outside their circle.

This didn’t change the reality of the situation; some ladies were destined to wield more power than others, and this was not hidden in the least. The size of a lady’s entourage played a great part in distinguishing those born with a golden crown in their future from those who could only weave them out of wildflowers and dream if not blessed with divine intervention. Violet was an unusual case in that her personal household was rather small, for she did not wish to be responsible for too many souls when there was no need. Bringing a personal pastry chef, for instance, was permitted to her, but it would be a display of status rather than a real necessity. Equipping their daughters with all the luxuries they did not need was a show of strength, a kingdom’s assertion that they had riches enough to waste on their precious princesses.

Violet preferred to show strength through her own regal bearing and lack of concern with proving herself, but the same could not be said of all her peers. She became fast friends with a Lady Valentina, who boasted one of the most extravagant entourages at the Academy. Her court away from home included a full band, three dressmakers, and one individual whose occupation was to provide fresh roses for her suites every other day. She had five identically-dressed noble ladies whose sole purpose was to follow her silently wherever she roamed. They were called The Five Lady Marias, because even their names matched.

Lady Valentina had a personal pleasure barge, complete with a rower. She was gracious enough to allow Violet, along with both Trixie and Pearl, aboard for a sunny afternoon on the campus lake. The water was uncommonly pretty and clear. Trixie liked watching the fish go about their business as the barge moved over the water with the speed and urgency of a tortoise. There was no possible destination available to them, but the lake was large enough that it was difficult to see the opposite end from shore, so they had room to float lazily.

From their position, they could see Valentina’s ladies waiting at shore, content to fan themselves and play cards on a blanket laid out for them to sit on. Trixie had spotted the Lady Adore taking her daily swim; a mermaid princess, she found it taxing to keep a human form for as long as she would need to if she ventured a full day on land. She once said that she longed for the sea like nothing else, but as long as she was in water once a day she could make do. Sometimes she could even be found there twice in one day. She would search for and wave cheerfully at the boating party whenever she rose from the depths, the patches of scales that were always visible on her skin gleaming in the sunlight.

That day, Lady Adore was joined by another lady, one Trixie was not acquainted with. Trixie watched the girl jump into the water with a whoop and a giant splash, while her fae companion conjured up a plush chair to sit in. Like Fame, this faerie chose a human form, appearing as a heavy set woman with shocking orange hair. She shouted as her charge splashed some water her way, but they seemed to be friendly.

Trixie strained to get as good a look at the girl as she could, oddly intrigued by the stranger. She did this until it felt too silly to continue, too silly and a little mortifying. She guided herself back to her company, which she had parted with momentarily to shove her nose into the affairs of others. They had been discussing music while her mind was away.

“I am still at a loss as to why you haven’t brought your own musicians from home, my dear,” Lady Valentina said, the air sweetened by the musical stylings of her country’s best lute player. “You’re a curious creature. You have such a great opportunity to show off your people’s talents, and yet you leave them at home.”

“You could always visit,” Violet said, with her customary inability to make eye contact with the person she is speaking with. Granted, Valentina often fell into that habit as well.

“Lady Beatrice is very talented.”

Trixie sat in shocked silence. She remained so while Pearl murmured her confirmation that Trixie was, indeed, musically gifted, and rattled off the instruments she had learned in her efforts to while away her childhood. She wasn’t used to being singled out by Violet, much less complimented.

Valentina fixed her eyes on Trixie, along with the wide smile she always wore, one that never quite reached her eyes.

“Lady Beatrice, could you please play for us?” she asked, gently.

Trixie felt Pearl squeeze her hand, and caught Violet looking at her with a small smile on her face. She gulped, but nodded her agreement, and quickly found herself holding the lute Valentina’s court musician had been playing, which had been directed her way with a wordless gesture from his mistress.

Though her hands shook at first, Trixie loved music dearly, and when she concentrated on the song she wanted to play she was able to shed her nerves. She chose a traditional song, one that had always calmed and comforted her when she heard it before learning to play herself.

When she finished, she was met with Valentina’s enthusiastic applause, and a surprising spark of life in her normally cold eyes.

“Brava, Lady Beatrice!” she shouted, without tiring from the applause. “Could you play another? Lady Violet, did you know she was so accomplished when you took her on?”

“I had a reliable source,” replied Violet, with a fond glance at Pearl.

Trixie hoped she wasn’t blushing. She agreed to play again, had to admit she enjoyed the attention.

“Aja!” Valentina called out, until the most original looking girl manifested in a shimmer next to her. “Could you please make the sound of Lady Beatrice’s music carry better? I’d like it if my ladies could hear it too.”

Trixie chose a song she knew to be Violet’s favourite. She let herself be absorbed into her playing, in the sound of the music and the way her hands felt like they were gently guided by a supernatural force. She wondered if she truly was talented, or if she had a guardian she could not see showing her the way.

She felt a hand settle firmly on her shoulder to shake her from her trance. Pearl motioned to the water, where Adore was peeking up at them.

“Hullo,” she said. “Got a message for Lady Beatrice.”

“Go on,” Trixie said, smiling back at her. There was something about Adore’s easy manner that just made her smile.

“Lady Katya, the one waving at us over there, well, she just wanted you to know she really liked your music,” said Adore. “Wouldn’t rest until I came all the way here to tell you.”

Trixie watched the girl on the shore as she waved with both arms back at her, and cupped her mouth with her hands to cheer at her. She must have looked awfully stupid, for she eventually felt a splash of cool water hit her face. Adore must have put her back into it.

“I’ll tell her thank you, yeah?” Adore offered, sticking her tongue out at Trixie.

Trixie nodded her assent.

[saintheartwing]

So! Battle of Heart and Mind!

Okay, so the episode begins with more Pink Diamond memories as he realizes Pink got locked up a lot, and lost her first Pearl, and Blue would often come in to talk to her about how she messed up. So Blue is the most sympathetic to her.

Then Steven awakes and Blue comes in. She is angry with Pink and yells at Steven, who points out how her behavior isn’t how family should act. How her behavior has just kept hurting Pink for centuries and centuries and it drove her away. Blue realizes how much she’s been hurting Pink and thus, Steven. So she lets her out.

They go to free the Crystal Gems, and Yellow is there. She’s mad at first and a big fight breaks out. Steven and Connie manage to get her to realize how her trying to build up a perfect empire has made her drive away the people she cares about, and kept her from enjoying the things she loves....and from being happy with the people she loves.

They’re about to go rush off planet and then...White shows up. It looks bad.

Luckily, that’s when the earth Gems show up. And Lapis and Peridot are back to normal! They use the big mecha arms to fight White Diamond in her big white head, fused to the pink legs, off. And Connie suggests to Yellow and Blue they force White Diamond to listen to them, that just talking about their feelings can go a long way.

So, yellow and blue go before white diamond and the gigantic formed jam robot mecha suit. Yellow and Blue say that they’ve worked to further the crystal gem empire for so long, but it’s been grinding them down, and hurting them, for years and years and years. And they’re no longer close. They no longer feel like a family anymore. White is as distant as can be. And they want things to change.

White shoots lasers and does to them what’s happened to the White Pearl. It’s brainwashing, losing all their colors and the like. And the gang is falling, falling and the gems haven’t reformed!

So Steven begs and pleads with the gems, one after the other, first Amethyst, then Pearl, then Garnet... and in doing so, he fuses with all of them! First he makes smoky quartz, then a new Rainbow, and then, with Garnet, “sunstone“!

When none of those fusions work, it’s time for ALL the gems to fuse and make...OBSIDIAN!

She looks just like the front of their home, that big statue thing with the many arms and double mask thing. And she’s all grey and fiery like magma!

So they fight against White Diamond and use their combined might to slice off the arms! Then they force the mech down, down, down!

But that’s when they un-fuse. Luckily they managed to reach white diamond’s eye. They crawl in to talk to her. And White is creepy.

She’s able to see into all her brainwashed people’s heads evidently. And she shoots Amethyst! Then Garnet! Then Pearl! And she insults them, Amethyst is deficient, Garnet is dependent and Pearl is obsessed.

Steven in turn says the Crystal Gems are fine the way they are. White says Pink only thinks that way because she wants them to be around to make herself feel better. Pink just wants to be surrounded by people who are lesser than her to make herself feel better about herself. She’s an enabler who, by being their mentor and their light, is able to get the attention and love she wants. And all the while blaming her problems on everyone else but herself.

Steven insists that he’s not Pink diamond. He’s not his mom. But White just responds with “but don’t you know things about her that you couldn’t possibly know?” She says that deep down, Steven IS Pink, that he’s just been essentially buried all this time, and lying even to himself. This is just a new form for pink diamond...

And then before the shocked Connie’s eyes White removes the gem from Steven’s belly! And...

Steven’s not dead. He’s not got his gem and...

And out comes Pink Diamond’s “spirit” as Steve. Floating down on a beam of light from the gem!

Everyone just stares, shocked. The spirit walks over to the barely alive Steven, Connie carrying him. White tries to stop the spirit but...it just blocks her. She can’t hurt it.

The Spirit tosses them away with its might and then holds Steven in its arms. They hug and embrace, and dance about and then...

Steven is back to normal. White Diamond says “No! You don’t look like this! You’re just acting like a child!”

“I AM a child. What’s YOUR excuse?” Steven asks. And then everything goes pink! And everyone turns back to normal! Somehow his influence has gotten to them all and Pink Pearl is back to normal. And White is smaller too. And off-color.

Steven in turn says White needs to learn to accept that other people should be who they are, to not force them to be someone else, and she can be her real self in return, and in turn. White says she isn’t SUPPOSED to be flawed. She’s supposed to be perfect and better, to make everything better, that’s what she exists to be.

Steven says she CAN be better. But first thing’s first.

She’s got to get outside of her own head.

So now we go down to Earth! Sadie and her band are singing on the beach and of course...down comes the Gems in the full mecha suit!

And Lars is there too. He’s finally arrived back home just in time to see-oh. The Diamonds. Whoops!

Luckily the Diamonds are well, reformed. Though White still looks like the Off Colors are something under her shoe. Baby steps. Oh well.

Sadie and Lars are astounded by what they’ve become, and the two share a moment. Lars feels guilty he crashed his show though. Steven, in turn, takes the stage....and sings the theme song as we get a montage of the gems who were made into monsters are changed and made normal once more.

It involves a big bubble bath! That’s hilarious.

Jasper is back to normal and she has horns now too. And she looks embarrassed but, well, cute. And White actually smiles. So they go off into space after they’re all cured at last, and it ends with Steven singing on the beach with all the gang under the moon, Steven singing a song with his ukulele about how you can change your miiiiind...

So! That’s what happened. A lot I didn’t see coming, and the ending was surprisingly heartfelt and tender.

[love-takes-work]

Steven Universe Podcast MiniRecaps: Made of Honor & Reunited (Volume 3, Episode 2)

This is the second episode of the official Steven Universe podcast Volume 3, approaching new episodes with behind-the-scenes peeks into the show. This episode covers “Made of Honor“ and “Reunited” together, and includes three Crewniverse members (one board artist, one board supervisor, and one voice actor). The official description:

Michaela Dietz, who voices Amethyst, Storyboard Artist Lamar Abrams, and Storyboard Supervisor Hilary Florido return to talk about "Made of Honor" and "Reunited." Discover what it took to the get the very special "Reunited" two-parter made, what inspired all of the great wedding outfits, and how they all feel about the return of Bismuth! Plus, hear the crewniverse's thoughts on Steven's maturity, the importance of owning mistakes, and the changing dynamics of Steven and Garnet's relationship.

McKenzie opens with an introduction; Lamar, Hilary, and Michaela say hi, and they jump right into “Made of Honor.”

The group immediately gets excited over Bismuth's return and Lamar makes the "back in Bismuth" joke. McKenzie throws out a compliment for the next-level puns in these recent episodes. Lamar floats the idea that maybe they pull the "back in Bismuth" joke too much with her, but everyone else is like "no!" Hilary says "I want to cringe ALL THE TIME. I really like puns. And the worse they are, the better they are." Michaela really appreciated the new one about "Did you Bis-muth me?" Lamar likes when they're all coming up with puns and someone comes up with one that really works.

McKenzie points out how much Steven's conversation with Bismuth reveals about both of them, and wants to know if Lamar boarded that scene since he was one of the boarders on the episode. He says he did the scene in the bubble room when Bismuth is first released, and how there was a LOT of discussion of how their conversation should go because it was so important for people to know Steven felt he was sorry and had been wrong. The later discussion of Steven being a leader figure and Bismuth's place on the team was important to get right too. If we're sorry, what are we sorry for? HOW do we apologize? Lots of back and forth went into making sure Bismuth and Steven's relationship was okay and their friends would accept the new status quo. Hilary points out that they also had to figure out how much recap was necessary in a scene like that, and maybe some viewers might not know who Bismuth is since she was only really focused on in one episode. (This led to an excuse to say "None of your Bismuth!" which cracked everyone up.)

McKenzie loved the bit when Bismuth stuck her head under the lava to scream as a reaction to the Pink Diamond reveal, and she felt she had a similar reaction herself (minus the lava). Lamar said he really wanted her reaction to be big and was glad the lava was there to do that with. Lamar says since she took a lava shower in her debut episode, it's clear she loves lava and finds it relaxing. He clarifies that she may be "chill and down to earth" but she's also a very emotional character, and her anger is justified. Even if she's fired up about something, you can still find a way to talk to her. McKenzie thinks it made a lot of sense that she had such a reaction to Rose being Pink Diamond because that also explained her reaction to the Breaking Point. McKenzie then asks them to talk about how Bismuth viewed Steven as a leader. Michaela wonders aloud if Steven accepts that, and Lamar says no, it's really only in the back of his mind--it's not something he's grabbed onto consciously as if he's now seeing himself as the leader. Hilary jokes about how maybe Steven would accept it if he knew his name is the show's name.

Lamar says regardless of how Steven feels about it himself, he at least knows that's how BISMUTH feels, because everything about Bismuth is honest and there's never any guessing with her. Bismuth asking why the Crystal Gems are still together finally gives a voice to the question of what their mission is and how Steven is so instrumental in giving them a purpose and a direction. Hilary speaks up to say now we're seeing different sides of Garnet acting as the default leader working alongside Steven who has really stepped up. Hilary expresses that it's not that Garnet is NOT the leader--she is--but Steven is taking on new leadership qualities as he develops the maturity to handle them. Lamar agrees with the idea that "Steven is the glue," but expresses that Garnet being the default leader is just obvious because of who she is, while Steven's personality doesn't really match well with a leader's need to be forceful and commanding and giving orders. He also specifies that the dynamic where you hate your boss for giving you orders does not exist in the Crystal Gems. Garnet takes charge, but Steven binds them.

Michaela had a thought occur to her about why Pearl didn't step up in a leadership position once Rose was gone, and the others agree that they're sure she was a complete mess. Lamar points out that Pearl may have been in denial about Rose's permanent departure since she still believed Rose was trapped in a baby. Garnet, in contrast, mostly accepted that this was the new reality and the rest of the team needed her firm reminders and gentle comfort. McKenzie asks how Bismuth's inclusion will affect the team dynamic and Lamar immediately says, "It'll be fine!" The group welcomed her so warmly, and Lamar thinks it's like when you don't see someone for a while and then just pick up where you left off.

Hilary describes wanting Bismuth as a friend--so they could get into "just the right amount of trouble together." They joke about metalworking together with her. After some more laughing about sports, they decide to move forward into "Reunited."

McKenzie wants to jump right into talking about the wedding outfits. Besides the obvious adorableness of Ruby's dress and Sapphire's tux, Michaela says Peridot's dress was so cute and unexpected. Also discussed are Pearl's outfit left over from their Empire City trip, Bismuth's armor, and the humans' reaction to someone in armor at a wedding. "Looking sharp!" (Hilary claims ownership of that pun.)

McKenzie brings up how wonderful it is that Ruby and Sapphire get a chance to DECIDE so specifically to be together. Lamar then brought up that it was difficult to get this episode made. Hilary says part of that is the fact that it was a two-parter. And Lamar says that since it was a wedding involving Ruby and Sapphire, it "took some work" to do this--not because of any problems with the Crew, but there were some speed bumps getting approved to show what they wanted to show and they were thrilled to be able to do it WITHOUT EDITS. Lamar felt a lot of the show built up to this moment. McKenzie was so blown away by the beauty of the wedding kiss.

McKenzie also says she didn't realize how much she'd been missing Garnet, and when Ruby and Sapphire finally fused and Garnet returned, she felt "everything was right with the world." Even if you love Ruby and Sapphire, Garnet leaves such a void when she's not there.

Hilary asks if Garnet is McKenzie's favorite couple, and she says they're basically the default "everyone's" favorite couple. Michaela loves the callback of Bismuth whining that Ruby and Sapphire are her favorite couple in "Made of Honor" after Steven said the same thing in "The Question." Bismuth crying when it's time to bring out the rings was another favorite moment.

And then . . . the action! McKenzie runs down the list of things that showed up in the second half of the episode--Blue and Yellow Diamond, the Cluster, the arm wrestling. . . .  Lamar wasn't sure if the arm wrestling was Jeff or Miki who boarded it, but it was Rebecca's idea that they were supposed to fight somehow. McKenzie says she loved seeing Garnet stand up to the Diamonds, after that encounter so many years ago when Blue Diamond threatened shattering as punishment for fusion. And it was still really meaningful even though it was also a ruse for her to hold Blue Diamond still so she could get a barn dropped on her head. So satisfying.

McKenzie really enjoyed Lapis's return as well. She wondered if Lapis slamming the barn into the beach was a callback at all to Steven's suggestion that she could bring the barn to the beach and be neighbors with him. McKenzie's sad that the barn is wrecked. Lamar also thought it was "amazing" that Lapis could resist Blue's sadness wave because she's felt worse. Michaela thinks Blue's sadness was easy to overcome because she's been so low for so long. McKenzie was impressed that Lapis had such strength because that wave totally incapacitated all the other Gems.

McKenzie brings up how great Connie was too, since she was unaffected by the sadness wave and could attack with Lion. Hilary and Lamar confirm that it only affects Gems (and half-Gems). Michaela brings up the weird noise the Cluster makes and how it's really spooky. Lamar refers to them as "spirits" and "souls," and that you SHOULD be scared. McKenzie loved the thumbs up from the Cluster. She also loved when Steven goes into his psychic state, and asked the guests to talk about deciding to do that. Hilary quotes the "classic psychic ghost situation" and Michaela makes a reference to the pottery wheel from the movie Ghost. Lamar said it was a challenge to show the internal mental battle while still showing the audience that a fight was in progress.

Michaela asks what inspired that weird head space and mentioned how struck by it she was. Hilary said it just needed to be clear it was an internal space, and she thinks Jeff boarded it, while she was just getting started as a storyboard supervisor on that episode. Michaela thought it was reminiscent of a video game. It had a void behind it and was similar to the psychic space they used when depicting the Cluster. McKenzie thought the depiction of Lapis getting poofed in that space so we'd understand what happened was really interesting. She felt bad for Peridot and Lapis getting taken out of that fight, but everyone agrees it's just part of being a Crystal Gem. And by this point the show has desensitized us a little to Gems getting poofed. We know they're all right.

McKenzie really liked seeing the Gems' internal thoughts when Steven was experiencing them in that space, and how he encouraged each Crystal Gem on his way to confront the Diamonds. Hilary points out that even though they've learned a lesson through the act of dealing with the fallout from the truth about Rose, they are still processing--they are still learning to deal with it. Steven having to remind them and ground them is not surprising.

The group has some further discussion about how facing an issue doesn't mean you've just solved it because you addressed it once. Michaela loves that the characters are so multidimensional because giving voice to a character becomes easier when they're "accessible." Hilary elaborates on how it mirrors real life--it's not like in real life you face an issue with your mom and then "it's solved now." It's probably going to be ongoing, as well the residual feelings from when it was unsolved even if the issue itself is improving.

The final words of the podcast have McKenzie describing the premiere of the podcast's volume 3 and saying "see you guys next Thursday," but I'm not sure what this refers to since Volume 3 premiered the previous week and the episodes don't seem to be getting released on Thursdays. *shrug*

[Archive of Steven Universe Podcast Summaries]

[mimik-u]

Flower Child (Chapter 2)

Summary:

Garnet, Pearl, Amethyst, Greg, Yellow, and Blue—they've all lost someone. Lovers and daughters and friends and family, and that's not a wound you easily come back from.

If at all.

But this isn't an 'if at all' kind of story.

It's a story about a sickly, little kid named Steven and his ever-growing surrogate family. Human AU.

A/N:

Happy Stevenbomb Week, guys! Here's to hoping we all survive it because, oh, my God, it looks intense.

P.S. Thank you for the love you've shown to this fic so far! It's meant a lot to me. c:

P.S.P.S. At the bottom of this chapter, I've included a quick sketch of human Blue. She's... frazzled 'n sad. Someone give her a hug.

AO3 Link

Trying to keep his dying son from bothering a crying, old lady in a bathrobe had absolutely not been on Greg Universe’s to-do list today… but here he was anyway, a torn witness to his kid extending his nearly deadened arm towards a woman who sure looked like she needed it. The little flower from Rose’s bouquet passed between their hands, and a tentative smile drew itself across the woman’s wrinkled mouth, and there was something stiff and sad in that very smile that suggested it was not a regular habit for her.

That Steven, in all of three minutes, had drawn it out of her.

Because of course he had.

He was Steven, and every person he met was a friend he just hadn’t gotten to know quite yet.

All of Greg’s protestations died in his throat, and he could not help but lean back and consider—not for the first time and certainly not for the last—how lucky he was to be this beautiful boy’s dad.

His fourteen-year-old was dying, and he didn’t hold that against the world in the way any other sane person probably would have. Heck, if Greg was dying (and he didn’t have the responsibility of raising a child), he’d be on the next plane to the Bahamas, ready to achieve Nirvana by listening to Nirvana as he danced topless in the moonlight with the locals.

Steven was dying, and all he thought to do was give.

Where was the logic in that?

The reason?

How could he be so wise, so patient and understanding and good to be so young?

It didn’t make sense to Greg, and because it didn’t make sense, he was all the more amazed to watch his kid at work, charming this older lady who told them—in a quiet voice that lilted lyrically in a soft Irish accent—that her name was Blue.

“Blue,” Steven mused, tilting his head thoughtfully. He was sitting with her on the steps now, an adjustment Greg noticed with no small relief. Neither he nor the others had been able to get him to rest all day long. It was a special occasion, by golly, and all he wanted to do was go. “I like that. It’s a very pretty name.”

She smiled again; it was a strange, little gesture caught between parentheses, and it almost looked young in a face that was otherwise very old. 

Two smiles in five minutes.

Stu-ball was on a roll.

“You said you were visiting your mother?” Blue prodded tentatively, and her expression sobered once more, like a stretched rubber band recoiling into its natural state. She had a tall face and big, half-moon eyes, and so the sadness in them was undisguised, as though her entire physiognomy was intent on communicating the uncommunicable inside of her. 

“Yeah, today was her birthday!” Steven started out strong, but at the end, his gaze flitted downwards and his voice relieved itself of its excitement. A drain unplugged. “Her grave is just a little ways down from here. That’s when I saw you.”

“And nearly scared us half to death when you ran away,” Greg muttered under his breath, leveling a playful eyebrow at his son, and his son, ever the good sport, parried back with an abashed grin.

“Ahhhh… yeah, sorry about that, Dad.”

Pearl had been monologuing about Rose—grand, sweeping gestures, occasional glares at Greg, and all—when they had noticed that Steven was slipping away, slipping towards a pink gazebo where a figure clothed in blue was collapsed at its entrance.

Greg had followed and the others had stayed because they all thought this was a Rose thing, or a kidney thing, or a I-just-can’t-listen-to-Pearl-any-longer thing, but they had underestimated him.

At the very least, they didn’t come close to estimating that extraordinary heart of his.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Blue murmured heavily. “You’re so young to be without a mother.”

“Thank you… and I’m sorry for your loss,” Steven replied, looking behind him into the gazebo. He moved his weak arm backwards to trace his fingers along the edges of the grave, drawing Blue’s steady, questioning gaze. Greg intuited that she was curious about the bruised limb but was ultimately too polite to ask, which was a nice change of pace from constantly being harangued by strangers who thought his child was being bullied.

“You’re older,” he continued, and his too-old-to-be-so-young gaze shifted, his dark eyes boring intently into hers, “but that shouldn’t make losing someone you love any less hard.”

The effect was immediate.

It was almost as though the air was sucked out of nature, as though time had stopped in the middle of life.

Blue froze, all but an ice statue if it weren’t for her half-moon eyes slowly widening as she comprehended the words Steven had just spoken to her with an easiness that could have only come from a child.

He was fourteen, and he didn’t know any better—knew that he’d say something nice but didn’t know the power of his own statement.

How it was a sentiment that every adult wanted to hear but rarely had the chance to, because adults were supposed to be infallible.

Adults had responsibilities.

Pick up what pieces you can, and then move on. You have better things to do.

He breached something with those words.

A longheld taboo.

A grieving heart.

He opened a floodgate.

And one tear and then another and another streamed down Blue’s long face.

Because it was exactly what she needed.

Greg turned away quickly so Steven wouldn’t see him wipe at his eyes, wouldn’t see the snot threatening to dribble down his nose.

Because even though it’d been fourteen years since Rose died, he needed the reminder, too.

“When’d you get so wise, champ?” Greg eventually got out, his voice a hundred emotions thick. He sniffed once, flashed a watery grin that wobbled at the edges, and threw pretense out of the window. He was crying; there wasn’t any shame in that.

“I guess I get it from you,” Steven shrugged, clearly embarrassed. “And Garnet and Amethyst and Pearl.”

But no—no he hadn’t.

Greg and his three surrogate moms could teach him a lot of things about this world and what it meant to live in it, but goodness? Innate and true?

That wasn’t something that could come prepackaged.

“Thank you, Steven,” Blue whispered, and she placed her tall hand atop of his. Her touch was light, gentle, careful—a mother’s touch if Greg knew any better. Steven’s bruised veins stood out next to her pale skin. “I’ve wanted to hear those words for a very long time now.”

“Your hand is cold,” Steven remarked in return, but when the older lady moved to withdraw it, he shook his head with a laugh, wriggling his thumb from under her palm and onto the edge of her hand to stay her touch. “But that’s okay. That just means you have a warm heart.”

Another smile, a wide one that lifted the corners of Blue’s melancholy eyes.

And somehow, it was this one that made Greg realize that their family was about to expand once more.

Which was hilarious because they had all agreed to stop after Peridot.

Well, Peridot had agreed that they should stop after Peridot.

After a few more minutes of talking and collecting themselves and finding a tentative kind of peace under the bright June sun, Greg told Steven that he should probably bring the Gems over. Pearl was nearly beside herself with curiosity; even from a distance, he could see that her hand was balanced over her eyes in an attempt to spy on them more efficiently. Amethyst was obviously making fun of Pearl, and Garnet was just unabashedly staring at them impassively from under the cool shade of her sunglasses. (Whether she would dropkick Blue or invite her dinner was to be determined.)

Steven walked off in their direction, his short arms swinging at his sides, and Greg watched long enough to see Pearl wrap him into a lanky hug.

But then he turned back to Blue because he knew what was waiting for him there—a question. It had been perched on her lips ever since Steven had first extended the little flower to her, and now, alone with Greg, it took wings and flew.

“His arm… what happened to it?” 

“That’d be…” he started immediately and then stopped just as quickly, because even though he’d been fielding this question for months upon months now, it never got any easier to swallow. He tilted his head skywards and tried to dissipate the searing pain seizing through his chest and his throat and his eyes, but these aches wouldn’t go away either. “That’d be all the IVs—oh, and the growth hormone injections.”

He tried to laugh, but the sound was strangled in his mouth.

“Can’t forget those.”

But he was stalling, and he didn’t have the time to be doing so. Steven would be back any minute, and even though he tried to hide it, tried to push down his emotions for the sake of everyone else in the room, his son hated this talk, hated being known for his disease or even as a disease. Some people grasped it better than others.

“He’s in the end stages of renal failure,” Greg said hoarsely. “Dialysis three to four times a week, and he’s been on the transplant waiting list for almost eight months now.”

His arm was just a byproduct of everything else that was screwed up with his little body, and it was one of the few things Steven couldn’t tuck away on the inside.

The older lady in the bathrobe bowed her head, her messy braid falling across her shoulder, and the beginnings of tears falling onto her lap. One hand gently cradled the pink blossom his son had given her, and the other reached backwards into the gazebo, trembling fingers feeling for something… maybe even someone… Greg could not see.

“Do you…” she faltered, and he had to strain to hear her voice. He drew closer without even realizing he was doing it, compelled into the atmosphere of grief she so consumptively embodied. His heart wrenched to look at her. It was stupid and absurd, but he felt as though he was looking into a mirror of his own despair—what it truly was and not what it appeared to be. “Do you feel as though he is being wrenched away from you? You were given this precious, little life to love and to cherish, and he’s being taken from you right before your very eyes?”

She was too specific in describing the feeling.

The aching hole in his chest.

The fear that was trying to fill it.

He knew without even knowing that the dead person in the gazebo was Blue’s own child.

“All the time,” he whispered. “And it’s so hard sometimes, you know, dealing with that feeling.”

But Blue shook her head and looked up at him; even though her eyes were still glazed with tears, they had acquired a steely edge to them that cut.

“It’s hard all the time.”

And he could do nothing but accept the truth of her statement.

He brought the bottom of his t-shirt to his face and tried to wipe away the carnage, but when most of it was on the inside, there wasn’t really anything he could do.

“I didn’t get your name,” Blue murmured after a long moment of silence. 

A sudden change of conversation, but he didn’t have to struggle too hard to figure out why. Steven and the Gems were approaching. He heard their footsteps crunching through the grass. 

“Greg Universe,” he offered with a semblance of a smile, and he moved a little to the right so he could block her body from view as she dried her own tears. “Nice to meet ya.”

“I’m Blue Dia—” But she was cut short by a voice that was louder than its speaker thought it to be.

“Why is homegirl wearing a bathrobe? It’s, like, the middle of the day.”

“Hush, Amethyst,” Pearl hissed, all exasperation and huff. “Don’t be so rude. You’re wearing jeans with holes in them.”

“It’s a fashion statement, P!”

“It’s a wasteful use of fabric!”

“Well, aren’t you a buzz—”

“We’re back!” Steven yelled, his voice thankfully triumphing over their bickering. Greg turned to greet them and found everything as it should be between the little quartet: Garnet holding Steven’s hand, and Pearl and Amethyst at each other’s throats. (They all loved each other.)

“Blue, these are old friends of Steven’s mom,” he quickly explained because the older lady seemed bewildered, and even a little overwhelmed, by this sudden influx of people. He had a sneaking suspicion that she didn’t, well, get out all too often if the bathrobe was anything to judge by. “They’ve helped me raise him.”

“Aw, to be fair,” Garnet said amiably, tipping her shades in greeting, “Steven has raised us just as much. I’m Garnet. Pleasure.” 

Amethyst took a long enough break from poking an increasingly annoyed Pearl to introduce herself.

“Yo, I’m Amethyst.”

“And I’m Pearl,” Pearl indicated with a sweet (if dramatic) curtsy. “Thank you for humoring our little Steven.”

“Oh… it wasn’t any trouble.” Blue looked up at Steven warmly. “Steven is a special boy.”

“Shucks,” Steven grinned. “You’ve only known me for what? Like, fifteen minutes?”

“Ah, but it’s been more than enough time for me to ascertain that I was very lucky to have been found by you.”

“Finders keepers!”

“I wouldn’t necessarily mind that,” she hummed playfully before deferring to Greg. “I live in Empire City, and if you live close by, I would love for Steven to visit sometime… if that’s okay with you. At any rate, I’d like to keep in touch.”

“Well, I’d like that,” Steven supplied cheerfully, and it was so darn cute; he looked like a little cherub with his cheeks puffed up in a smile.

“That’d be fine with me,” Greg chuckled. “You two should exchange numbers.”

Steven nodded in approval and pulled out his phone, fingers poised above the keyboard, mouth already open to ask for Blue’s number, but Greg cut in one last time, affecting a casual tone that wasn’t quite casual.

“Empire City’d be really good for us, too” he told her, but he was staring at Steven, wanting to gauge his reaction. “That’s where Steven has to do his treatments.”

And maybe it was a little underhanded, but Steven had to know that Blue knew.

That there was no point in hiding his condition.

Because he’d tried that a couple of times, and it always ended badly for him, always ended in him getting hurt by someone who couldn’t understand.

A slight frown tugged at Steven’s lips, and he could feel Pearl’s irritated glare drilling at him from his side.

She was a firm installation in Camp-Hide-All-Of-Your-Feelings-Away, too, but that hadn’t worked out well for her either.

“Name and number, Blue,” Steven said, a fraction less perky than he had been before, but he recovered quickly because of course he did. He was Steven. He put on a good show and a smile.

Pearl was gonna give him hell tonight, but Greg could give it right back.

It wasn’t healthy for Steven to keep everything locked away inside, and that was the call he made as a father.

Blue enunciated her number slowly and added her name as an afterthought.

“My last name is Diamond. Blue Diamond.”

 And it was name that sent shivers down his spine.

Oh, God, Greg thought.

In the periphery of his vision, he met the Gems’ equally stunned faces. Garnet’s hands were clenched into fists. Pearl’s were splayed indelicately o

[evenstevensranked]

#21: Season 2, Episode 15 - “Sibling Rivalry”

In an attempt to settle their never-ending rivalry, Ren and Louis compete on a ridiculous game show called “Sib Wars.” There’s also Ren/Bobby/Mandy drama on the side which is beyond juicy. Meanwhile, Donnie has a date with a French girl and has Nelson translate for him. 

This one opens with Louis "Flossercising” -- A combination of flossing your teeth and exercising. Right off the bat, you know this episode is gonna be an outlandish one. He’s just chillin’, incorrectly lifting weights in a bathroom full of dental floss lol

How do you even buy that much dental floss? Also, I can’t deal with Shia’s face in this screenshot. ALSO, I’d like to talk to Sarah and Suzie and ask them what drugs they were on when they came up with “flossercising.” 

Ren starts freaking out at Louis because she needs to get ready for a date with Bobby and he’s cramping her style. They chase each other into Donnie’s room where we see Donnie super focused on learning French. I love how he’s dressed in the stereotypical black and white striped mime shirt -- sitting in front of a pile of French books, Eiffel Tower statues and a bowl of french fries while doing so. As if it’s a freaking séance to reach the ghosts of French experts. 

Cutting off his head was the only way I could get everything in the screenshot lol. 

This scene is pretty funny. After Louis and Ren come running into his room, Donnie tells them to knock it off because he only has one day to learn French. “That’s realistic” Ren says so sarcastically, I crack up every time. This is also where Ren calls Louis “infuriating” and he tries to call her it as well, but butchers the word and says “In-flirt-in-ate-ter-ing.” I remember this being used on a few ads for the show back in the day. Just then, Donnie grabs a VHS tape, shows it to them very dramatically and says “You guys need to see this.” And Louis is all “What? You lifting weights in your bathing suit? We already saw that.” HAHA!!! I love how Donnie is so obliviously vain, it’s great. Imagine subjecting your brother and sister to that. He quickly picks up the VHS he meant to show them, which is an accidental taping of a show called “Sibling Sessions.” 

This show within a show is so freaking hilarious. It’s like Dr. Phil if it were a show within a soap opera and filmed in a therapists office. The brother and sister (Kevin and Wendy) who appear on it are so lame and fake, it’s so good. The host makes Kevin apologize to Wendy and I died laughing. 

“It’s nothing against you, Wendy! You’re the BEST! I guess the reason I act the way I do, is because of my own insecurities. Deep down... I’m just a loser.” HAHAHAHAHAHA. The acting is purposely incredibly bad here, almost like an infomercial -- which makes it even better. The kid looks like he’s about to burst out laughing when he says “I’m just a loser” lol. 

Even Stevens seriously wins the award for Most Original Humor on Disney Channel. Ever. No other show has a strut quite like this one. I also thank god every day that ES didn’t have a laugh track. It simply doesn’t need one. 

Ren thinks the show seems professional and is down for appearing on it. Louis, on the other hand, is vehemently against it -- Until the host announces that Kevin and Wendy will receive two tickets to Happy Mountain Amusement Park for being on the show, lol. 

You just know this was an ad-lib, tbh. How does Shia even think of this stuff? What even is that facial expression? He’s too much...

I also just realized that Ren is definitely wearing the necklace Louis bought her in Swap.com. Ya know, the one she gave back to Ernie? Oops. 

Suddenly, the doorbell rings and Ren is expecting it to be Bobby, but *dun dun dunnn* It’s Nelson. This marks the start of the DRAMA!!! Bobby sent Nelson as the bearer of bad news. He’s there to let Ren know Bobby had to cancel their date because he has work to do with his lab partner. Hummmmm... Ren is immediately suspicious. Clearly, she does not trust Bobby and this relationship ain’t healthy. 

Somewhere around here, Donnie finds out that Nelson can speak French. So he asks him to translate on his upcoming date with some ~beautiful foreign exchange student.~ We also get the “HAAAAPPY MOUNTAIN! THE BIG OLD ROCK OF FUUUUUUN!” from Louis which is iconic. I’m just gonna go ahead and assume that most of the things Shia does in this episode are ad-libs.

The next day at school, Ren happens to catch Bobby working with his lab partner... who he conveniently forgot to mention is Mandy “Always-Gets-Her-Man” Sanchez. RED FLAG!!! MAJOR RED FLAG. 

When class lets out, there’s this awkward/passive-aggressive/mean girl moment between Ren and Mandy -- and it’s gold. Mandy says “Ren, love the lipstick! That color works so well on your THIN lips. :)” To which Ren responds, “You know? I wonder what it’d look like on a FAT LIP :)” hahahaha. Salty overload. Ren decides to privately confront Bobby about the situation after. Asking why he neglected to say that Mandy was his lab partner because Mandy is definitely into him, and he essentially tells her it’s all in her head. “Come on, it’s just Mandy. She flirts with everyone!” So, Ren convinces herself that she’s just overreacting. THIS IS SUCH A TEXTBOOK CASE OF A BAD RELATIONSHIP. You can clearly see that Ren is still suspicious though.. and it only gets worse when Bobby kisses her goodbye on the cheek instead of the lips. Oh, boy. Bobby sucks. 

Ren and Louis go to an audition for “Sibling Sessions” but when they get there they see that the show has been rebranded as “Sib Wars” -- a competition show. Apparently the ratings were in the toilet. Can’t imagine why!!! Who wouldn’t want to watch a low-level, PBS knock-off of Dr. Phil?! The show is on the verge of being cancelled all together, unless they can find two bickering siblings to compete ASAP -- and Louis and Ren answer their prayers. They come barging in like two arguing tornados. I love their little fight here though, lol. Ren claims that Louis got ice cream in her hair and Louis says “Did it ever occur to you that YOUR hair got in MY ice cream? Did that enter your skull?!” He has a point. Ren obviously considers herself to be the superior sibling, so she has no doubt that she’ll win the cheesy competition. “I could even grow a mustache before you!” she threatens. And Louis comes back with one of my favorite burns everrrr: “You could. In fact, it’s coming in quite nicely!” HAHA. Shia and Christy go on to totally ad-lib a heated argument and I love it. 

The host, David Blackburn, is so over the top with everything he does. On “Sibling Sessions” he was over the top melodramatic and on “Sib Wars” he’s over the top excited. It’s like he’s incapable of acting like a normal human. Normally, I cannot stand when shows go overboard with obnoxiousness.. but I can’t help but laugh at this guy. He starts wearing a cheap, short, dreads wig to try to seem more ~hip~ and young, (”Is my hair on straight?”) which is hilarious to me. And this dude delivers every single one of his lines with such a perfect balance of fake enthusiasm and the insecurity that comes along with trying way too hard to be cool. It just gets me for some reason, lol. I’m also almost positive that HE’S doing the voiceover announcing HIMSELF as “the handsome, the talented -- DAVID BLACKBURRRRRNNNN!” haha. I have to gif the footage of his introduction because it’s honestly so meme-worthy and hysterical imo: 

If I had the power, I’d make nearly every other moment of every Even Stevens episode a popular meme. It’s beyond deserving... Yet, the only meme that’s come out of Even Stevens is Beans. Great. This show is truly one of the greatest, overlooked TV gems ever. 

Anyway, I’m pretty sure the “TV G” was edited in for “Sib Wars” specifically. I don’t remember Even Stevens ever having a rating pop up like that before, so that’s pretty awesome lol. I’m not sure what part of this gif gets me the worst, though. When he flips his “hair” back, the zoom-out shot of him like “ :D ” or the “THAT’S ME!” It’s all brilliant. I’ve been laughing at this for 5 minutes straight.

The game show ends up being incredibly stupid with the dumbest questions and categories ever... So it’s basically tailor-made for Louis Stevens. Therefore, he literally leaves Ren in the dust -- 500 points to 0. There’s also a “Pudding Pit of Doom” round where yet another bad Louis stunt double flips into the vat: 

I never noticed how many stunts happen on this show until now. This guy is obviously older and has a completely different build than Shia. They really don’t even try lol. 

David Blackburn announces that Louis and Ren will return the next day for the “Ultimate Humiliation” round -- where they have 1 minute to totally mortify the other on public access television. Fun! Louis is scrambling to find some dirt on Ren, and he fails. The closest thing he gets is her “brushing her teeth inefficiently” on tape. This bit always stuck with me though!! He explains the footage to Twitty and says “Look at the technique. She’s doing that upward thing, you’re not supposed to be doing that! You’re supposed to do the little circles!” I think about this every single time I brush my teeth and have since always brushed in a circular motion lol. 

The drama reaches the climax right about now when Louis and Twitty catch Bobby and Mandy walking down the hall together very flirtatiously. Their first thought is to start recording -- and boy did they end up capturing the most DRAMATIC TEEN DRAMA MOMENT THE SHOW HAS EVER SEEN: 

Is this Even Stevens or Degrassi???

When I rewatched this episode for the first time in a few years, I was genuinely shocked. I knew Bobby was “cheating,” but I always remembered it as only flirting or a lingering hug. (Ya know... because Disney.) But, NOPE. It was an actual kiss on the lips. Bobby is a RAT and I never liked him. It’s really too bad they didn’t end the series with some comedic plot where Ren and Larry realize their feelings for each other because trust me..... the feelings are there. That’s way better content than Bobby freakin’ Deaver. HE WAS NEVER FOR YOU, REN!

Louis’ plan is to be a slimeball and use this footage in the Ultimate Humiliation round. That’s honestly so messed up, I can’t even fathom that idea. Imagine video of your significant other kissing some other person airing for everyone to see. Dang. I told you this was dramatic. 

This subplot is really, really short. So I’ll wrap it up now as usual. It’s just Donnie on his date with Sandrine (played by Danica McKellar from The Wonder Years) with Nelson translating. Basically, Nelson’s allergies to everything flare up. He takes over the date and steals Sandrine’s attention away from Donnie. That’s it. There’s this one screenshot that’s pretty great without context tho: 

Back to the main plot. Ren decided to use Louis’ nasty bed sheet as her way to humiliate him. I love how she titled the exhibit "Louis: An American Tragedy" lol: 

When it’s Ren’s turn to sit in the hot seat, she takes a moment to give a shout out to Bobby. Saying how happy she is that they’re together and she hopes they can stay together. Of course. Meanwhile, Louis is standing there holding the VHS tape of Bobby cheating. It’s intense. Ultimately, Louis makes the right decision and doesn’t show the tape. He just gives up and says he didn’t come prepared with anything. I LOVE SEEING GOOD LITTLE BROTHER LOUIS, MAN!!! Ren is declared the winner. 

Louis knows that Ren doesn’t deserve to continue to be lead on by Bobby. So at home that night, Louis simply gives Ren the tape. The footage is pretty self explanatory. It fades to a very dramatic shot of Ren breaking up with Bobby by giving him his letterman jacket back. I hate Bobby. He’s standing there all sad. Like... Come on, man. Don’t act like you're upset about what you did. You knew full well what you were doing. 

Ren’s head to toe light blue ensemble is... something. 

Ren thanks Louis for not showing the tape on TV and he says “Ren, you’re my sister. I wouldn’t do you like that.” MY HEART. That vibe changes quickly though when Louis asks if he can be her plus 1 to Happy Mountain lol. 

And that’s it. The episode ends with Donnie watching the video of him lifting weights in his bathing suit. haha. 

I really like this episode. It’s not one of my personal favorites, but this episode is most true to the series' premise. If you look at it literally, it’s the most "Even Stevens" episode ever tbh -- which is why it's higher on the list. I also just cannot get over the level of legit drama here with the Bobby/Mandy stuff! Crazy. Louis is a great brother here, too.. which is so amazing to see. There aren’t any giant laugh-out-loud moments, but the dialogue here is so snappy and smart. I found myself laughing quite a bit due to how great the writing is and the delivery from the cast all around. Everyone is on point here. 

Thanks for reading!!

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[smokyrie]

diamond on a landmine 7/?

The only grave she seemed to acknowledge was Pink's, and it was probably for good reason. She'd often said that the three of them were the best she'd produced, and perhaps it was true. They weren't as weak as they thought, and together they found it somewhat easier to bear the harsh reality of a populous awakening and hating their station in life. Though over time they had recovered what Rose Quartz had tainted, it just wasn't the same.

There was a careful avoidance of Yellow the following day, eyes drawn elsewhere. The veil's disappearance caused quite the uproar in court. She decided to take advice she'd given Yellow so many times, of how to completely find yourself lost from White Diamond. Only her personal Pearl followed her this day, through darkened hallways that were rarely traversed except for handmaidens and cleaners. It was dark enough that she found herself comforted in the camouflage of the solemn place. When she was sure that she was far enough, she stopped, the doors sliding shut so far away.

The walls were cramped even for a Diamond, and she was thankful for being smaller than White. Though it felt comforting she felt her eyes burning. Barely having made it through court, her body felt weak... Or was it her gem? The self is made of light, the light is of your gem. Your gem is your entire soul, a living computer. Yes... or no? It didn't matter, in the end. Nobody was free from their eventual death, as their weak point would be so prominent that it would be easy to kill. Did her life matter?

She began to cry, cursing how emotional she was. “Stop it,” she muttered to herself, beginning to walk forward again. The further she went the dustier it seemed to be, but it was clear she wasn't the only one there. If there wasn't, the lighting would not have already cut on to its dim glow. Surely she wouldn't have to deal with someone here, of all places! Stepping quieter than she did before, her tears fell in silence. It wasn't possible, she wasn't going to have to deal with this here, too. Unfortunately for her, Yellow had already traversed this hallway and made it to the chambers of what was a large tomb meant for royalty. The only place she knew she'd have peace, that tree poisoned in her mind for a while.

Her footsteps stopped when she saw her there, staring upwards at the murals and carvings of distant pasts. Arms folded behind her back, she knew that Blue was there, but didn't say anything. The mouse outfit that was their work that day had tired her out, as well. She didn't know what happened but knew Blue was upset. It was odd, however, that she gave her space this time. Maybe White had visited her, too. Regardless of the reason, Blue could only sigh as she stepped forward.

“Do you know about any of these gems? I ask White if they are Diamonds, and she only laughs.” her voice was calm, but it registered to Blue a voice from so far away... As far as this short, wild ride had gone so far, of course. Before she'd bothered to bug Blue in visits, before she found it in herself to admit that there had been nothing any of them could have done for Pink. No matter what, Rose Quartz would have had an opening, and that was that. “Sometimes, she'll say that it's her pain to bear. They obviously are, aren't they? But there are no records of death. Perhaps she'll clutch those close to her cold, hollow gem forever.”

“I try not to think about it,” said Blue after a period of thought. “Our first lesson was on our strength and the responsibility of our tiny subjects. Such impossible strength we have, how to use it properly...”

“So gods and goddesses die like dogs, too?”

“Now you begin to understand what I've been thinking about all these years...”

They didn't look at each other, because it seemed too much. Yellow gestured to the left wall of this grim entrance, lit only by hundreds of candles. It was obscene. White refused to tell them her age and they avoided a special kind of horror because of it. Was it worth the cost, their ignorance? Apparently they had reached a point together in their lives where it seemed too much. Blue walked over to it, fingers running along the carvings. She put her hand over the Diamond's face, after noting its particular look. In full armor, she had a glorious tale but a sad ending. Buried with her concubines, though they were alive. She couldn't stand its face, remembering an old tale her Pearl had told her upon request. Yellow leaned against the altar, the Moon Goddess staring down at them in her infinite wisdom and probable blindness. The stories always differed, unless you bothered to buy into White's religious nonsense.

They both spent such a long time in their thoughts that Blue didn't notice her hand fall and Yellow didn't notice the wax on her hand. It burnt, but she paid no mind as she peeled it off, staring at the slight burn mark. Turning to her, Blue began to speak. “I avoid the other grave sites. I only come for Pink, because I feel like every other story here has ended in such an upsetting way. I was told that a knight loved her slaves so much that they were buried with her. The Pearls enjoy their gossip and stories, you see? This is who they meant, I suppose. Apparently, if you wander above this grave upstairs, you can hear the tip-taps and noises of her once-beautiful Pearls below... If they even are Pearls anymore. She was so fond of them, they had names...”

Yellow stopped, surprised that Blue would tell her this at all. She didn't act like it, however, eyes stoic and set on her hands. Her gloves were off, Blue noticed. In truth, Yellow had taken them off when she saw that Blue had lost her veil. Their eyes connected and she couldn't keep it going for long, turning away from Blue to walk towards the opposite wall. When she wasn't looking, Blue's crying commenced again, much against her want. Wiping it away when it became too much, she took a lantern from the wall and walked to stand next to her again.

There were many stories and rumors they could tell each other, though it hardly seemed appropriate in a place like this. But it was also one of the few places that they were truly alone, for even White avoided this place a good portion of the time. The only grave she seemed to acknowledge was Pink's, and it was probably for good reason. She'd often said that the three of them were the best she'd produced, and perhaps it was true. They weren't as weak as they thought, and together they found it somewhat easier to bear the harsh silence of a populous awakening and hating their station in life. Though over time they had recovered what Rose Quartz had tainted, it just wasn't the same.

Blue held out her free hand, her left, and waited for Yellow to notice. When she did, her gaze dropped down and she thought about it for a long while. Finally she took her hand, and cleared her throat. The silence was maddening to her, and Blue knew that. The wall that had built between their courts was still high, even as they chipped away at it. It was just so large, strong and foreboding, just as the disturbing descriptions of their predecessors. They walked in tandem, Yellow obviously unnerved by the skin to skin contact, but she was trying. That was so important to Blue, who was beginning to understand her better. She had to think of something to say, anything, before Yellow became too unnerved and simply left her there to sit in her silence with the remains of who knows how many victims lay in the walls.

“I asked her why she would pay attention to this nonsense, and she admitted to me that they are cautionary tales. I shouldn't have done that, really, because it encouraged her to keep talking...”

Yellow looked down at her, almost curious in her obvious disgust. Blue inhaled a bit, more for her own sanity than anything. As they got further in, she was thankful for her thoughtfulness in that lantern, for she felt too anxious to make her gem glow for long. Her counterpart seemed so tired, almost as dead as the air that surrounded them and the many gem shards, she assumed. She didn't act like this normally, but then again, she'd taught herself not to notice. Out of sight, out of mind, though Blue's off stare seemed enough to get her attention.

“She told me that she knew another story, a really interesting one. I told her to continue, as I relaxed and began to smoke. I was amused until just now, seeing that face. There was another that committed unforgivable treason against White, garish enough to do it publicly. She was lashing out because in a fit of rage, our Leader punished her for... for getting hurt. Her gem chipped, and it was unacceptable. These were different times, obviously, Yellow. Times where we didn't have waves of rebels and failure was completely unacceptable. Rank was pulled and this Diamond disliked the idea of what we would call probation from her newly won status in court. She pulled her weapon and decided to hurt her back.”

“And?”

“She was absolutely crushed but not killed. White applauded her bravado, finding it almost hilarious that she fought so well and fell so hard. She was given two choices: Absolute submission or exile. I already dislike what we face from her, Yellow, but this was too much for her to bear. If she had two options, suffering or suffering with White, she was too proud to pick one. She killed herself, and that's why there are palace ruins in the Badlands. I asked my Pearl if they knew their colors, and alas, they did not.”

“Do they have some ridiculous ghost story to follow it? I suppose I would put nothing past the spite I feel in these halls.”

“No. Well, I don't know if I would consider this such... She had a woman on track to be her lesser queen, who she left behind. She cursed the ground White walked on and told her that until the empire fell she would remain and ruin every aspect of her life. You know how she is about superstition, even today... So the place was demolished. I wish I could have seen it. The ruins are quite grand.”

“How petty. I would hope that they found some peace, but I'm not confident.” Yellow stopped, then, when they reached a set of doors. They both hesitated, knowing what laid beyond it. Instead, Blue turned, and began to look at the giant tablets with their small but telling descriptions. They were all so unique, but she could feel only guilt in the stones. She walked forward, pressing her forehead against a tablet that didn't have a description. It was different than the others, in that it had a color listed, whereas the others didn't. Orange. Though she was a powerful gem in her own right, in her grief her powers had scattered, so much so that it was more a guessing game about feelings and thoughts.

It was so easy to just hire a gem to do every tiring action for her, even if she felt it made her softer. Yellow put a hand on her shoulder but said nothing, staring at the gem, who bore a cape and such strange, short hair. Straight, flat; her clothes were a mystery. “I was under the impression that all of them listed no colors, but this one...”

“You did say that you pay little attention. Neither do I, Blue. Perhaps I should, but I have enough suffering to do without worrying about the deaths of ancient women that probably would have hated us for our behavior and in White's eyes, emotional insolence.”

“She came to you,” acknowledged Blue sadly.

“I was told she visited you as well. What insanity is she on about now? She can't take away the actions of this expanded eternity. I'm going, whether she likes it or not. I simply... Came here to think.” pushing the doors open, there was a mostly empty room but in front of them was Pink's image carved immaculately into her tablet. A white, plain area, it always unsettled Yellow and made Blue feel remarkably small. “Even here, she reminds us that she is our divine creator. I have nowhere to rest that doesn't remind me, in some small way, of her. Pink deserved better.”

The sudden outburst startled Blue, and it served to further that when Yellow simply sat down upon the floor like she had the habit of doing in her rooms or as witnessed the Zoo. She wasn't like that, usually, a preference to chairs and mature ways of doing things. Blue stood for a long time, trying to figure out what to say. Yellow needed her but as usual the words drowned within her like her rationality and the memory of Pink, down and deep until she couldn't speak anymore. Upon noticing the shake of her hands, Yellow rolled her eyes and took her arm, pulling Blue gently down.

Startled, she sat, but kept her silence for a long time. She never spoke like this, and she didn't expect it to last long. Yellow found it endearing, the way her voice caught in the air every time she tried to speak and failed. Sighing, Blue shut her eyes. It was refreshing, the lack of eyes upon her. Even more surprising it was when the other laid back against the smooth, cool floor. It felt so odd to Blue to be sitting here like this with Yellow, who she wasn't even sure visited this place at all. But it was clear she did, in her comfort. Looking down at her slowly, her eyes opening cautiously, she bit her lip.

“I am afraid,” Blue admitted. “Afraid of angering her further. I hate it. We are reduced to --”

“She is ill. You know that.”

“How long is that an explanation before it becomes an excuse?” said Blue wearily. “I want things to be the way they were more than anybody, but I see not the right answer.”

Slowly Blue laid next to her and Yellow actually had a smile on her face. She was almost offended, eyebrows furrowing just a little. Turning her face to her, she gestured to the tablet. “Her answer was always some vague variation of 'let it be'. Of course, I found her far too optimistic, but the way she kept the four of us going was something to herald to the heavens above. I'm just not ready to talk to her.”

“Your lack of ability to talk to her and our inability to get along a good portion of the time have unfortunately intersected into an obsessive worry on White's part that I have to deal with. Yellow, just apologize and share me the burden of this. She won't be satisfied until we are all --”

Yellow shushed her with a sudden kiss, which felt obscene but genuine. Her eyes were wide as plates and it seemed to please the other, of whom was pushed back quickly. Sitting up, she held a hand over her lips and stared at Pink's tablet. A hand rose to stroke at Blue's lower back, the owner of whom prayed silently that she would get her point. Alone in the silence together, her hand stilled when Blue turned back to look at her. The gaze was filled of mixed emotions, guilt but acceptance. Excitement, but fear. It felt wrong to do that here, the smallest of physical connection already disrespectful of the dead. However, she laid back, taking Yellow's hand. She seemed pleased, when Blue did so.

“I'm not concerned with what satisfies her right now, Blue. I only came here to talk over my plans and how difficult you'll be during the travel, as you always are when I'm around. Perhaps it's because I enjoy your pining for solid ground, but this has to go well. And one last thing...”

Blue froze, unknowing and fearful of what she could say next.

“I find it tragic that you can not kiss me in front of her. You used to enjoy it, as it would make her laugh and praise me for my patience. Do you not see my opportunity to spend time with you both, in a way we used to so many cycles ago? Have you forgotten what White pines for so desperately?”

1|2|3|4|5|6|7

[smokeybrandreviews]

Go Woke Go Broke

I am a fan of great stories. I adore brilliant, unique, art. I adore when both are integral to a creation be it film, comic, book, short story, light novel, fan fiction; Whatever. I find the ability to build worlds in almost any capacity, incredible. I’m also an older Millennial; Part of the tweener, X/Y, Oregon Trail generation. Born in the 80s, raised in the 90s, and came of age in the early 00s.We played until the street lights caught us, my first game system was an NES, and all my Saturday morning cartoons were sans Disney, toy commercials. I got an honorable mention once at a science fair and my parents were unimpressed so Participation Trophies were a joke to me and i learned how to deal with bullies by dealing with bullies. I had to worry about gangs shooting up my school, not that lone, weird kid in a trench coat. I’m all about representation but i understand that if you want people to look like you on film, you’d better find a way to make that film in white ass Hollywood. Basically, i have sense whereas most Millennials born after 89, do not. I need to make that distinction because we are about to get into some sh*t.

The merit and value of representation or visibility in mainstream media is dependent on the quality of said portrayal in the cultural zeitgeist. I’m a giant black dude who lives in America so representation for me basically begins and ends with a thug persona. As a black person in general, watching actors who look like me get passed over in roles that are uplifting and enriching to the culture like Hurricane or Ali for very specific, very demeaning, very marginalization, stereotypes, is disgusting. Black people, however excellent they are, never win for anything other than the magical Negro, uplifting slave, or non-threatening service person. Hidden Figures is an amazing tale of the trio of black women who saved NASA during the height of the space race. It was nominated for three Oscars and won none. Mahershala Ali did win an Oscar for best supporting actor portraying Juan, a drug dealer. Another movie he was in won several Oscars as well, Green Book. Ali plays Dr. Don Shirley characterized by the magical negro trope. I can go on and on. Denzel Washington got his second Oscar for Training day playing a corrupt ass cop when he turned in a much better, far more emotional performance, in Hurricane the year before. His first? Glory, where he played a former slave. A few years later? Snubbed for Philadelphia. Washington played, deftly i might add, a lawyer named Joe Milller who had to reconcile his own prejudices bout what it meant to have AIDS. Dude wasn’t even nominated. Tom Hanks won, though. See that pattern?

I don’t like Steven Universe. I don’t think it’s a very good show but because it has a massive fanbase among the LBGTQ community, it’s bullet proof from criticism. Nah, i’m about to go in. I adore Rebecca Sugar and i commend her creativity. My favorite episodes of Adventure Time are often attribute to her in some way, wither s0rt direction story boarding, or song writing. Marceline wouldn’t be Marcy with Sugar and i’ll always love her for that. That said, Steven Universe is melodramatic trash that uses pandering as a crutch. I don’t have a problem with the gays or whatever getting their visibility, but there are ways to do it without coming across as plagiarized drivel. Euphoria immediately comes to mind. Universe wears it’s anime inspirations on it’s sleeve. Sugar is a massive fan of Sailor Moon and you see, just, SO much of that in this show. Entire scenes and plot points are directly lifted from Usagi’s epic adventure but, because of the nostalgia goggles, cats are blinded to the straight-up theft. I’m not. That lack of originality is hindrance to the message. I mean, not really, i guess, because people love this show but it’s hard for me to acknowledge anything genuine about it because i know it is all a fraud. Hell, Land of the Lustrous, a manga by the name of Hoseki no Kuni, bares more than a striking similarity to Universe and came out a full year before Steven first bared his belly gem! Guess what Lustrous is? A manga! Guess who loves anime and manga? Sugar! Guess who has built a career on Sailor Moon images and Fan art? Sugar! Hell, Lustrous does a better job of LBGTQ representation by accident. Seriously, check that sh*t out. It’s an excellent narrative that doesn’t pander to the SJW crowd. It just tells it’s story about gem girls and space monsters. Sh*t is dope.

Where i feel the most sting, however, is in the US comic industry. All of this PC wokeness is in direct contrast to creative storytelling, for the most part. Marvel is hilariously guilty of this sh*t. I was on board when they decided to turn carol Danvers into Captain Marvel, effectively retiring her leotard costume and pretending kike it never happened. Fine. I liked that design but i get how impractical is was. The homage to Mar-Vell in her current duds is cool, too. I was one of the few that waited before running to judgment as Bendis race-bent Spider-Man into Miles Morales and then gender bent Iron Man into Riri Williams. Riri is a sh*t character in her own right but the outrage was more about her gender and race which made the criticism seem neckbeard nerd rage. Even then, i stuck around. Hell, when that Mockingbird run dropped and was literally a feminist manifesto, i let it ride because it was cleverly written and, foe the most part, i am kind of a feminist. More Equalist but there are feminist undertones in there. More recently, however, we got this New Warriors book and this is where i have to draw the line. Snowflake and Safe pace? Token non-binary hero? Marvel used to be at the forefront of this sh*t. They had gay superheroes in the 70s. They got married in the 80s. They addressed AIDS in the 90s and muslim bigotry in the 00s. Marvel was always crazy social conscious. That was one of their story telling staples and they delivered those messages with a light but firm touch.

F*ck, dude, the X-Men are an allegory for black people and the Civil Rights movement! Magneto and Professor X are literally caricatures of Malcom X and Dr. King.  mainstream comic, broaching the subject of discrimination, camouflaged in the vibrant arto f superhuman clashes, sold to white kids across America, during the f*cking 60s? Are you serious? That sh*t changes minds. That sh*t starts a conversation. That sh*t is status quo changing! Snowflake and Safespace? F*cking really? This is your social discourse now? Disrespectful parody of a marginalizing slur and already absurd concept derived by weenies? This isn’t even satire, it’s outright disrespect. I think safespaces are detrimental to proper, healthy, discourse or that the notion of those who stand up to offense are snowflakes who “need to get a sense of humor”, but for real? The fact that cats just tacked on the one is non-binary just outright exposes the true intent. This sh*t is pandering, straight up. It’s non representation It’s not progress. It’s disrespectful Woke point grabbing. It’s superficial lip-service being played to those that feel like their label isn’t getting enough media scrutiny. I think all of these new genders or whatever are stupid but i’m an old person. Some kid might identify with being non-binary or whatever and THIS sh8t is what they have to look forward to seeing. You can’t be serious.

Now, the whole reason i’m writing this, the entire reason i was even thing king about this subject, is because of Late Night with Lily Singh. Singh is a comedy Youtuber who has crossed over into the mainstream. I, personally, don’t find her funny, but i understand how important her success is in the world. Singh is, if you haven’t deduced by her name, a Desi woman. She’s a Canadian of Punjabi descent and she’s making moves. Ma is one of the most popular channels on the platform and, indeed, i first came across her through another cat i follow. Even though i personally do not enjoy her content, the breadth of what she has accomplished does not elude me. Singh is a powerhouse and should be recognized as such. However, her actual, on-air, late night talk show is f*cking dog sh*t. Singh is not geared for that. Like, at all. Her jokes are bad, her monologues are delivered with a clumsy anxiousness that belies the energetic skit-maker from her Youtube channel, and she is the worst interviewer on television! Her guests are often visibly bewildered. Watching James Corden interview someone is off-putting, dude does his best impression of graham Norton, but Seeing Singh just assault her guests with mediocrity is textbook cringe. Why the f*ck was she put into this very public position, thrown to the wolves, doomed to fail?

Her show is bad, man, but when you say so, the PC Police come out to beat your sh*t in. Singh is Indian, female, and bisexually; The three biggest spaces on the Marginalized bingo board. Being brown, or queer, or prone to vaginas gets you them woke points whenever you create anything but to have all three at once? Boy, you bulletproof! Saying anything remotely resembling criticism gets you cancelled on the grounds of sexism, homophobia or just plain classic racism, all the while, her show i literal sh*t! Singh, herself, is often racist and sexist throughout her “comedy” skits! I’m not one to subscribe to white people being discriminated against. A a black dude with a firm grasp of history, i personally believe white people should just take it when a minority goes after them because they never have a problem taking from everyone else. Goose/gander, you know what i’m saying? That said, there’s an art, a nuance, to that racial observation. Singh does not deliver her content with that deft touch. She’s built a career on malicious caricatures of the whites and the penises, which would be fine if there was a message in her satire, but there’s not. It’s base and uninspired.

You can build a career on that type of content. Dave Chappelle’s entire career is that type of content and he’s one of the greatest comedians to ever comedy. The difference between his material and Singh’s is that Chappelle says something. Chappelle hits you in the gut and forces you to look within. His sh*t is actually profound. Lily Singh is not. She’s skews closer to that trainwreck, Nicole Arbour, than she does Eddie Murphy. She’s more Amy Schumer than Wanda Sykes and that sh*t is on full display with her terrible, terrible, talk show. I read somewhere that it might be getting cancelled soon and my first thought was, “It’s not cancelled now?” If i am aware that Singh’s content is pedestrian, surely the studio knew it was. I mean, the ratings of her show are abysmal. She even found her way into a race controversy as a female, lesbian, Desi on TV! Then it dawned on me; This wasn’t true representation This was NBC casing Woke points. They never believed in this show, rather, wanted to use Singh as a sounding board. She’s a trophy for a network trying to court that meek, 90s baby, everyone-is-special, “Muh anxiety”, crowd. It didn’t work and Singh’s show is getting shelved, as it should, but it’s f*cked up that this is what representation at the corporate level looks like. This sh*t is tokenism, plain and simple

Representation is great. I want all of us to be seen. People around the world judge our various cultures based on what our entertainment contributes to the cultural zeitgeist of the world. Mot blacks aren’t gang-bangers, rappers, or dug dealers. Most Muslims aren’t terrorists. hell, most Muslims aren’t even of middle eastern descent! Islam is the largest religion in the world. You’re more likely to meat an south Asian with a Koran than an Iranian with a suicide belt. Gays aren’t going to turn you, Women don’t have vagina dentata, and the handicapped are more resilient than you think. Don’t pander. Don’t token. This game of playing for Woke points in the media and arts needs to stop. All of this faux outrage by mostly rich, white, people on behalf of the people their privilege marginalizes, needs to stop. Patting yourself on the back because you’re book has a Sudanese, paraplegic, lesbian, lead is not being progressive, it’s masturbatory at best. Approach your project with a sense of levity, common sense, and, more than anything, respect. Is what you deem “representation” a good look for whatever class you’re trying to champion? Or is it just a means to stroke your ego and push your politics? Are you Brad Pitt or are you Kathleen Kennedy? Is what you want to show us going to do more bad than good?

At the end of the day, create what you ant to create, just be conscious of how you create. Evaluate your message. Make sure it’ something that needs to be said. Something that, when said, can’t be ignored. Make the message profound and the representation enriching. Make that sh*t count because doing so in an effort to appear the Wokest, just trivializes everything you are attempting to do.

[smokeybrand]

Go Woke Go Broke

I am a fan of great stories. I adore brilliant, unique, art. I adore when both are integral to a creation be it film, comic, book, short story, light novel, fan fiction; Whatever. I find the ability to build worlds in almost any capacity, incredible. I’m also an older Millennial; Part of the tweener, X/Y, Oregon Trail generation. Born in the 80s, raised in the 90s, and came of age in the early 00s.We played until the street lights caught us, my first game system was an NES, and all my Saturday morning cartoons were sans Disney, toy commercials. I got an honorable mention once at a science fair and my parents were unimpressed so Participation Trophies were a joke to me and i learned how to deal with bullies by dealing with bullies. I had to worry about gangs shooting up my school, not that lone, weird kid in a trench coat. I’m all about representation but i understand that if you want people to look like you on film, you’d better find a way to make that film in white ass Hollywood. Basically, i have sense whereas most Millennials born after 89, do not. I need to make that distinction because we are about to get into some sh*t.

The merit and value of representation or visibility in mainstream media is dependent on the quality of said portrayal in the cultural zeitgeist. I’m a giant black dude who lives in America so representation for me basically begins and ends with a thug persona. As a black person in general, watching actors who look like me get passed over in roles that are uplifting and enriching to the culture like Hurricane or Ali for very specific, very demeaning, very marginalization, stereotypes, is disgusting. Black people, however excellent they are, never win for anything other than the magical Negro, uplifting slave, or non-threatening service person. Hidden Figures is an amazing tale of the trio of black women who saved NASA during the height of the space race. It was nominated for three Oscars and won none. Mahershala Ali did win an Oscar for best supporting actor portraying Juan, a drug dealer. Another movie he was in won several Oscars as well, Green Book. Ali plays Dr. Don Shirley characterized by the magical negro trope. I can go on and on. Denzel Washington got his second Oscar for Training day playing a corrupt ass cop when he turned in a much better, far more emotional performance, in Hurricane the year before. His first? Glory, where he played a former slave. A few years later? Snubbed for Philadelphia. Washington played, deftly i might add, a lawyer named Joe Milller who had to reconcile his own prejudices bout what it meant to have AIDS. Dude wasn’t even nominated. Tom Hanks won, though. See that pattern?

I don’t like Steven Universe. I don’t think it’s a very good show but because it has a massive fanbase among the LBGTQ community, it’s bullet proof from criticism. Nah, i’m about to go in. I adore Rebecca Sugar and i commend her creativity. My favorite episodes of Adventure Time are often attribute to her in some way, wither s0rt direction story boarding, or song writing. Marceline wouldn’t be Marcy with Sugar and i’ll always love her for that. That said, Steven Universe is melodramatic trash that uses pandering as a crutch. I don’t have a problem with the gays or whatever getting their visibility, but there are ways to do it without coming across as plagiarized drivel. Euphoria immediately comes to mind. Universe wears it’s anime inspirations on it’s sleeve. Sugar is a massive fan of Sailor Moon and you see, just, SO much of that in this show. Entire scenes and plot points are directly lifted from Usagi’s epic adventure but, because of the nostalgia goggles, cats are blinded to the straight-up theft. I’m not. That lack of originality is hindrance to the message. I mean, not really, i guess, because people love this show but it’s hard for me to acknowledge anything genuine about it because i know it is all a fraud. Hell, Land of the Lustrous, a manga by the name of Hoseki no Kuni, bares more than a striking similarity to Universe and came out a full year before Steven first bared his belly gem! Guess what Lustrous is? A manga! Guess who loves anime and manga? Sugar! Guess who has built a career on Sailor Moon images and Fan art? Sugar! Hell, Lustrous does a better job of LBGTQ representation by accident. Seriously, check that sh*t out. It’s an excellent narrative that doesn’t pander to the SJW crowd. It just tells it’s story about gem girls and space monsters. Sh*t is dope.

Where i feel the most sting, however, is in the US comic industry. All of this PC wokeness is in direct contrast to creative storytelling, for the most part. Marvel is hilariously guilty of this sh*t. I was on board when they decided to turn carol Danvers into Captain Marvel, effectively retiring her leotard costume and pretending kike it never happened. Fine. I liked that design but i get how impractical is was. The homage to Mar-Vell in her current duds is cool, too. I was one of the few that waited before running to judgment as Bendis race-bent Spider-Man into Miles Morales and then gender bent Iron Man into Riri Williams. Riri is a sh*t character in her own right but the outrage was more about her gender and race which made the criticism seem neckbeard nerd rage. Even then, i stuck around. Hell, when that Mockingbird run dropped and was literally a feminist manifesto, i let it ride because it was cleverly written and, foe the most part, i am kind of a feminist. More Equalist but there are feminist undertones in there. More recently, however, we got this New Warriors book and this is where i have to draw the line. Snowflake and Safe pace? Token non-binary hero? Marvel used to be at the forefront of this sh*t. They had gay superheroes in the 70s. They got married in the 80s. They addressed AIDS in the 90s and muslim bigotry in the 00s. Marvel was always crazy social conscious. That was one of their story telling staples and they delivered those messages with a light but firm touch.

F*ck, dude, the X-Men are an allegory for black people and the Civil Rights movement! Magneto and Professor X are literally caricatures of Malcom X and Dr. King.  mainstream comic, broaching the subject of discrimination, camouflaged in the vibrant arto f superhuman clashes, sold to white kids across America, during the f*cking 60s? Are you serious? That sh*t changes minds. That sh*t starts a conversation. That sh*t is status quo changing! Snowflake and Safespace? F*cking really? This is your social discourse now? Disrespectful parody of a marginalizing slur and already absurd concept derived by weenies? This isn’t even satire, it’s outright disrespect. I think safespaces are detrimental to proper, healthy, discourse or that the notion of those who stand up to offense are snowflakes who “need to get a sense of humor”, but for real? The fact that cats just tacked on the one is non-binary just outright exposes the true intent. This sh*t is pandering, straight up. It’s non representation It’s not progress. It’s disrespectful Woke point grabbing. It’s superficial lip-service being played to those that feel like their label isn’t getting enough media scrutiny. I think all of these new genders or whatever are stupid but i’m an old person. Some kid might identify with being non-binary or whatever and THIS sh8t is what they have to look forward to seeing. You can’t be serious.

Now, the whole reason i’m writing this, the entire reason i was even thing king about this subject, is because of Late Night with Lily Singh. Singh is a comedy Youtuber who has crossed over into the mainstream. I, personally, don’t find her funny, but i understand how important her success is in the world. Singh is, if you haven’t deduced by her name, a Desi woman. She’s a Canadian of Punjabi descent and she’s making moves. Ma is one of the most popular channels on the platform and, indeed, i first came across her through another cat i follow. Even though i personally do not enjoy her content, the breadth of what she has accomplished does not elude me. Singh is a powerhouse and should be recognized as such. However, her actual, on-air, late night talk show is f*cking dog sh*t. Singh is not geared for that. Like, at all. Her jokes are bad, her monologues are delivered with a clumsy anxiousness that belies the energetic skit-maker from her Youtube channel, and she is the worst interviewer on television! Her guests are often visibly bewildered. Watching James Corden interview someone is off-putting, dude does his best impression of graham Norton, but Seeing Singh just assault her guests with mediocrity is textbook cringe. Why the f*ck was she put into this very public position, thrown to the wolves, doomed to fail?

Her show is bad, man, but when you say so, the PC Police come out to beat your sh*t in. Singh is Indian, female, and bisexually; The three biggest spaces on the Marginalized bingo board. Being brown, or queer, or prone to vaginas gets you them woke points whenever you create anything but to have all three at once? Boy, you bulletproof! Saying anything remotely resembling criticism gets you cancelled on the grounds of sexism, homophobia or just plain classic racism, all the while, her show i literal sh*t! Singh, herself, is often racist and sexist throughout her “comedy” skits! I’m not one to subscribe to white people being discriminated against. A a black dude with a firm grasp of history, i personally believe white people should just take it when a minority goes after them because they never have a problem taking from everyone else. Goose/gander, you know what i’m saying? That said, there’s an art, a nuance, to that racial observation. Singh does not deliver her content with that deft touch. She’s built a career on malicious caricatures of the whites and the penises, which would be fine if there was a message in her satire, but there’s not. It’s base and uninspired.

You can build a career on that type of content. Dave Chappelle’s entire career is that type of content and he’s one of the greatest comedians to ever comedy. The difference between his material and Singh’s is that Chappelle says something. Chappelle hits you in the gut and forces you to look within. His sh*t is actually profound. Lily Singh is not. She’s skews closer to that trainwreck, Nicole Arbour, than she does Eddie Murphy. She’s more Amy Schumer than Wanda Sykes and that sh*t is on full display with her terrible, terrible, talk show. I read somewhere that it might be getting cancelled soon and my first thought was, “It’s not cancelled now?” If i am aware that Singh’s content is pedestrian, surely the studio knew it was. I mean, the ratings of her show are abysmal. She even found her way into a race controversy as a female, lesbian, Desi on TV! Then it dawned on me; This wasn’t true representation This was NBC casing Woke points. They never believed in this show, rather, wanted to use Singh as a sounding board. She’s a trophy for a network trying to court that meek, 90s baby, everyone-is-special, “Muh anxiety”, crowd. It didn’t work and Singh’s show is getting shelved, as it should, but it’s f*cked up that this is what representation at the corporate level looks like. This sh*t is tokenism, plain and simple

Representation is great. I want all of us to be seen. People around the world judge our various cultures based on what our entertainment contributes to the cultural zeitgeist of the world. Mot blacks aren’t gang-bangers, rappers, or dug dealers. Most Muslims aren’t terrorists. hell, most Muslims aren’t even of middle eastern descent! Islam is the largest religion in the world. You’re more likely to meat an south Asian with a Koran than an Iranian with a suicide belt. Gays aren’t going to turn you, Women don’t have vagina dentata, and the handicapped are more resilient than you think. Don’t pander. Don’t token. This game of playing for Woke points in the media and arts needs to stop. All of this faux outrage by mostly rich, white, people on behalf of the people their privilege marginalizes, needs to stop. Patting yourself on the back because you’re book has a Sudanese, paraplegic, lesbian, lead is not being progressive, it’s masturbatory at best. Approach your project with a sense of levity, common sense, and, more than anything, respect. Is what you deem “representation” a good look for whatever class you’re trying to champion? Or is it just a means to stroke your ego and push your politics? Are you Brad Pitt or are you Kathleen Kennedy? Is what you want to show us going to do more bad than good?

At the end of the day, create what you ant to create, just be conscious of how you create. Evaluate your message. Make sure it’ something that needs to be said. Something that, when said, can’t be ignored. Make the message profound and the representation enriching. Make that sh*t count because doing so in an effort to appear the Wokest, just trivializes everything you are attempting to do.

[maepolzine]

Over the last week, Cartoon Network has released one episode a night of Steven Universe under the arc called “Heart of the Crystal Gems.” Which contained five episodes happening after the events of A Single Pale Rose where it was revealed that Rose Quartz/Steven was actually Pink Diamond. And leading up to the point of the arrival of Yellow and Blue Diamond to Beach City. Now I don’t generally write up my thoughts after binge watching a new season, but I really wanted to for Steven Universe.

All images belong to Cartoon Network.

Now We’re Only Falling Apart

The title of this episode is a call back to a show Garnet sang called “Here Comes a Thought” where there is a line in the song that goes: “Take a moment to and ask yourself if this is how we fall apart.” The song was in part talking about anxiety but also fusion which requires that both parties stick together through situations. And in the case of Ruby and Sapphire, they fell apart because they couldn’t agree over the news about Rose Quartz/Pink Diamond. Sapphire felt betrayed because she didn’t question their fusion or anything about their leader. And learning it was a lie, made Sapphire lash out. Unfortunately at Ruby and calling their entire relationship a lie. She runs away with Pearl and Steven following after her to try and make things better.

Pearl explains she was given to Pink Diamond in an attempt to make her happy around a 1000 years before Pink Diamond was given the Earth colony. But Pink is bored as nothing is happening until Pearl informs her of the first quartz soldiers are coming out of the ground. Pink sees them emerge and is super excited about everything still believing their mission that they are making life out of nothing. But is sad that she’s not actually there to talk with everyone. Pearl suggests disguising herself as a quartz so they can go see the new gems, which they end up doing including seeing the rest of Earth… where Pink learns they aren’t making life out of nothing. They are taking life and leaving nothing of the organic life already there. This leads her to protesting that the colony not to be completed to Yellow and Blue, only to be told to complete the mission. Yellow and Blue also made Pink the human zoo to humor her about her love for the organics. Pink ends up becoming Rose Quartz that we know and starting the rebellion.

Instead of using her status and halting all progress of the colony… which she could’ve done. She was the diamond in charge, not Yellow or Blue. If Pink truly didn’t want the colony to complete, it was completely in her right to say so. But she wanted Yellow or Blue to end the colony for her, rather than stopping it herself. And I get why Yellow and Blue didn’t want Pink to just quit the colony. She begged for centuries for one of her own, then the second she started it she wanted to be done. It’s like any child who wants to start a club or sport. The parents got them all of the stuff and spent all of this money, just for nothing. No, you make them see it through to the end. And if they don’t want to do it again the next time, fine but they at least completed the current season or year.

Then Pearl and Rose Quartz see the first time fusion of Ruby and Sapphire, making Pearl and Pink learn that any gem type can fuse. Pearl tries to fuse with Rose Quartz but it doesn’t work, then they meet Garnet and recruit her onto the team. Now wanting to fight for gems that are different. This makes Sapphire feel better and want to go back to Ruby… who has ran away leaving a note behind for Sapphire.

What’s Your Problem

A lighthearted episode after the last one that also saw the completion on Amethyst character arc. Now I don’t think that will be the end to her story, but it’s for sure the moment where she’s figured things out. She doesn’t want to put her 1000 year old problems on Steven. She wants him to be a kid and not worry about all of the problems going on. Amethyst tries to spend the day making Steven feel better after learning the truth about his mother. It also made her the most mature one out of the group in comparison to Sapphire, Ruby, and Pearl. And though it wasn’t heavy on plot or development of Steven, it was a major step for Amethyst while trying to keep everything lighthearted considering Ruby ran away.

The Question

This title is a call back to The Answer, where Garnet was telling Steven about how Ruby and Sapphire met. And that love was the answer to what their fusion was. This episode sees the reverse of that, but also Ruby asking Sapphire to marry her.

In this episode, Ruby is on her own trying to figure out who she is when she’s not solely focusing on being with someone else. Something a lot of people deal with after a breakup or in a relationship in general. You spend so much time with someone that you lose who you are when you’re not with them. And even though you are apart, you still think about them being there with you. Ruby would look at her hand where Sapphire’s gem would be if they were Garnet. And though it was told as if it were a Western leading up to Ruby proposing to Sapphire in the end, I loved it as it was so real. And I’ve been dealing with something similar myself, granted instead of a relationship it was a friendship that ended. I’ve been trying to figure out how to be me again with her being around, only I know there isn’t going to be a proposal or reunion in the end because she wants nothing to do with me anymore.

Made of Honor

This episode brought back the character and Crystal Gem named Bismuth. Who had been bubbled away in the temple after she had attempted to shatter Rose Quartz/Steven. After the discovery that Pink Diamond was Rose Quartz, Steven felt it was only right to bring back Bismuth and explain everything. Also considering Ruby and Sapphire were going to be getting married, but were sad that all of their friends were either shattered or corrupted. So Steven wanted to bring her back and explain everything that happened while she was bubbled. From the Gem War to present day. It was a cute little episode bringing back one of the Crystal Gems and reconciling the past between Rose Quartz and Bismuth.

Reunited

The last episode in the special including the wedding of Sapphire and Ruby. Peridot was the flower girl and Steven oversaw the wedding. It was hilarious watching Peridot throw flowers into people’s faces rather than just to either side of her while she walked down the aisle. Ruby was so excited she set the aisle on fire and Sapphire was nervous freezing in place for a brief moment. It was perfect! And in the end Garnet was back in a dress/suit combo to reflect Sapphire and Ruby.

    Which was quickly brought the return of Yellow and Blue Diamond in their arm ships. But they were not there for Steven or the Crystal Gems, but rather the cluster which Steven had kept dominant inside of a massive bubble to break it out. Which they did manage to do, but thanks to Steven the cluster when formed was on the Crystal Gem’s side. The cluster fought Yellow Diamond, while Blue Diamond went after the Crystal Gems. Garnet finally stood up to Blue Diamond, followed closely behind with Lapis Lazuli’s return. Where she stood up to the Diamonds for once and dropped the barn onto Blue Diamond. Then everyone fought her.

The cluster managed to beat Yellow Diamond and caused the ships to crash down on top of Blue Diamond. When Yellow came out, Steven of course tried to stop her by stating for a second time that he was Pink Diamond. But they wouldn’t listen to him… and of course why would they. Pink Diamond didn’t look like that at all and the gem was rotated. So they attacked everyone causing both Peridot and Lapis to be poofed. In the mix, Steven somehow got poofed or something, and ended up in a weird in-between state where he could communicate with the gems without being in the physical world. We got to see their inner thoughts including both of the Diamonds. Yellow was mad about not listening to Pink, and Blue was sad that Pink was gone.

Steven was able to get through to them somehow and explain that he is Pink Diamond. Which made everyone stop fighting and understand what he was trying to tell them because of his aura was Pink’s. Blue and Yellow reach out to Steven then back in reality Blue just says “It’s you.” And the episode is over.

Afterwards, we are shown the crew all together with the diamonds. Blue and Yellow appeared happy or at peace. And Steven was talking to them about the fate of the remaining gems on Earth when it got blasted. Blue apparently thought they were destroyed/shattered, but instead they were corrupted and Steven was showing them that fate.

  But when the 30-minute season was over, I didn’t want it to be over yet, I want to know what happens and how the conversation goes between Steven and the Diamonds. As the last second is literally just a second after they learn the truth. I wish it had more than just an quick glimpse at the future than a statement of “The Story Continues…” But nothing on when it will be back. What?!? You can’t just end it there then go “See ya!” I want to know what happens. What do Yellow and Blue say to Steven now knowing Pink Diamond became him and that he has none of her memories? What do they say or do about the gem corruption? I want answers! But we’ll have to wait… for who knows how long.

Love ya,

Mae Polzine

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Steven Universe: Heart of the Crystal Gems Thoughts and Summary Over the last week, Cartoon Network has released one episode a night of Steven Universe under the arc called "Heart of the Crystal Gems." Which contained five episodes happening after the events of…