#Get leashed idiot

[sy-tech]

It's ungodly late (4 AM) and I stayed up reading comics about silly aliens and I found myself loving the interaction between a certain yautja and a human. Here's a highlight reel.

I was reading Prometheus: The Complete Fire and Stone Comic. I highly recommend it. The art is super cool. The comic is entertaining. And the story isn't half bad. It's especially interesting if you like the Prometheus movie.

I was cracking up the whole damn time these two were stuck together. He (the human) was gonna grow a spine or die of a heart attack.

[shizunfxxxer]

Hold on, I just finished Mysterious Lotus Casebook and I'm obsessed.

Finally able to get out and be a human today so did a quick FDB sketch.

Why's he tied up?? IDK he's just a silly little guy. I'm sure everything will be alright. Right? 🤔 Stay tuned to find out.

[spicymotte]

I think if I warn you to not approach my dog and you still decide to do so AGAINST MY SERIOUS ADVISE TO NOT DO IT, I’ll get to beat you up

[chvoswxtch]

the defenders honestly should’ve been called “everybody fucking hates danny”

[mishy-mashy]

The same fic as Hasta la Vista baby, but going a bit more back in time to focus on En's wacky marriage with his best friend (Hima. An OC) when he was actually alive

In which two ace people marry into a QP relationship, because one (Hima) wouldn't shut up about marriage

Featuring,

Tall woman + short man = PROFIT?

"Ah! Ow! I'm sorry OW!! Hey!!!"

En hmphed, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed.

"Just so you know, I've grown another inch."

She rubbed her head, relieved of his pulling her hair for her slight. "Congratulations on hitting 5'2, then."

En deals with spontaneous proposals everyday until he agrees

[Day 1]

"Let's get married!" she seemed to decide, planting her fists on her hips.

"....."

"What's with that look?!"

En had stopped midstep and stared at her, eyes slightly wide in confusion, brows crinkled, not sure what to say or if she really meant it. Much like the face of one seeing a drug addict suddenly burst in front of them, butt naked, and running off. She was absolutely the equivalent to that right now.

".... We- We're 19," En tried to reason, not understanding why she decided that. "We just graduated, and we're too young-"

"Age is just a number," she deadpanned. "Jail is just a room. Marriage is just an agreement."

"How does jail tie into this conversation?!"

"Clearly, you deserve it, for breaking my heart," she sniffed. "Jail! Jail for a thousand years!"

***

Banjo squinted. Because did En just sprint by in a panic, with Hima-san on his heels with a rolled newspaper, shouting "JAIL!!!"?

"... Was that En?"

"He probably deserved whatever it was," Torino dismissed. He kept his gaze ahead, taiyaki between two fingers. "You don't argue with girls. They'll rain hell when you do."

Banjo didn't look convinced. His brow scrunched, turned in the direction the pair ran off.

"Would you'd like to get in Hima-san's warpath?" Torino quirked a brow. "Once she makes up her mind, she doesn't stop. I don't doubt her Quirk influences that."

"Welp! Good luck, En!" Banjo threw him under the bus, turning away immediately to continue a happy march down the ruined pavement.

[Day 2]

"Please please please please please!"

En stared blankly at her. Then his gaze went down to the distance between them. His paused yellow tape measure was pointedly stretched in front of him.

"Didn't I say five meters?"

She slumped in her dogeza. "Come on, En! I didn't mean to knock you out! I'm sorry! Marry me!"

"En, it was only for a few seconds," Nana said, exchanging paper bills with Torino in a silent bet over the pair. "And to be fair, you're the one that ran into the pole."

"I wouldn't have been running if she wasn't chasing me," En kept on, arms crossed.

[Day 3]

En didn't look away from the hamburger menu he was pointedly keeping his attention on, gaze up at the shining neon.

Very obviously so, to avoid looking at his friend, who currently bended down on one knee to his left, waiting for his attention to propose.

"Oh, honeybunch? Sugar plum?" No way was she starting to sing-song for his attention. "Pumpy-umpy-umpkin?"

"No."

"Hey, my sweetie pie-"

En speedruns the marriage process because his friend wants to (divorce included?)

"Sorahiko-senpai, give me the marriage certificate," En nearly hissed over their burgers.

Sorahiko chewed slowly. "Why?"

"I'm about to set the world record for fastest divorce—!!!"

Sorahiko is the worst person to go to for relationship advice.

[Case 1]

"Gran Torino, you should really keep your nose out of their business," Crimson Riot said, after watching Hima walk off after a quick conversation with Torino.

"I didn't say anything bad," Torino said.

"You just told Hima-san to fill Smoke Eater's shoes with pie filling and bake for 20 minutes?"

"If she can't find Smokey, he'll eventually come looking for her as the culprit," Torino defended.

Then his phone started blowing up with panicked texts from said Smokey.

"See? She found him."

"Actually," Crimson glanced at his own phone, receiving similar messages, "he's asking why you told her to do that. She just texted him the new plan you told her to do."

Couldn't she have just texted him for his location? Crimson thought.

Truly, she was not the sharpest person there was.

"Her phone was 1%, so it's probably dead now... he can't reach her cell either," Crimson read, taking in the new information pouring through his texts in even more of a frenzy. "Straight to voicemail. And he's two districts over, so he's not gonna make it home in time to stop her. Oh, wow."

He chewed. "Sounds like a skill issue."

"Torino—"

[Case 2]

"I'm just saying, naming a kid Butter Stick isn't a bad name," Torino defended over his mochi. That he stole from En's pantry, but no one really cared to stop him at the time. They already learned to stop buying taiyaki, because Torino was a rat who kept breaking into their apartment for it.

It still didn't stop them from waking up and finding him eating their cereal in the kitchen. He'd broken 3 windows – always the same one – before Hima finally explained how to open it.

En currently laid on the couch he was kicked to sleep on tonight, back facing them and angry steam wafting from his head.

Nana pulled the container of mochi away from him. After he egged on En's wife, leading to her original "intellectual debate" over what foods would work as human names becoming too heated, Torino didn't deserve his sweet cravings fulfilled. Especially when it was out of En's pocket.

[Case 3]

"Divorce her," Torino declared immediately, after bearing witness to Hima blue shelling En on the TV.

"It's just a video game," Nana said from her spot on the couch. "Stop telling him that every time something happens."

"She took the last taiyaki earlier, she deserves it," Torino decided.

"Right," Nana mumbled into her hot chocolate. "Tell me that again when she's strung you up on a flag pole with her Quirk."

[californiaquail]

i don't consider myself an angry person by and large but few things make me angrier than people intentionally doing or not doing things that could result in harm to everyone around them just because they don't like being told what to do. we live in a society fr get the fuck over yourself and your idiotic 12 year old selfish ass mindset.

[ssreeder]

guess ;) who’s ;) back ;)

imagine drugging someone to the brink of death and then beating the shit out of them and then being “slightly irritated” about their health condition.

veeeeeeery interesting that quon made the distinction between shen being a prisoner and zuko being a teenager 👀 (or maybe it means nothing idk)

OMG WILL JEE RASU AND TOPH ENCOUNTER ZUKO AND SHEN PLS PLS PLS

fuckinf long feng and the fuckinf dai li and the fucking letters being intercepted you’re so smart sreedie

oh swag general how is not bad WHICH IS WHY IM SO MAD THAT HES BEING OUSTED BY THE DAI LI UGH

loving suki hours everybody <333 (you’re really doing justice to her sreedie)

penis fingers, penis advice T-T

OMG SLAY GENERAL HOW I CANT BELIEVE WE ARE ACTUALLY WITNESSING A COMPETENT MILITARY LEADER OUTSIDE OF THE SWT THIS IS HISTORICAL EVENT SREEDIE

lmao except they actually have TWO dragons in their city right now and zuko is not the one they should be concerned about

oh bestie I am panicking (also right as I read the dai li pov section my sister walked past my room saying “yeehaw” which really ruined the mood)

jee’s heebie jeebie senses are tingling frfr

jee is actually so funny ilh

lol I love them playing happy families on the fly

jee in dad mode to protect the children :3 but also the slave trade is horrific and it sucks that it exists and he has to shield toph from it

well now I have the heebie jeebies something bad is gonna happen to jee

FUCK YEAH ZUKO OHMYGOD JEE

OHMYGODOHMYGOD

OHMYGOOHMTHGOD

jee is the real hero of this story his self control is insane bUT HE ALSO NEEDS TO PUT IROH ON A GODDAMN LEASH JESUS

OMG REHO COMEBACK I love reho

CHANG IS APPROACHING HELL YEAH

pls tell me we get hakoda pov when he arrives omg

I. need to Process this chapter. but like. with a meat grinder bc there’s so much emotional turmoil I’ve gotta smush into manageable pieces.

ANYWAYS LOVE YOU LOTS CANT WAIT FOR THE REUNION SENDING SOUP YOUR WAY TO GIVE YOU THE STRENGTH TO FINISH THE NEXT CHAPTER <33

Quon: *punches a hole in the wall because he mad*

“Wow, this place is a dump - look, there are even holes in the walls.”

Me: introduces decent character

Also me: rips Zuko away from him and give him to the worst character >:) :D

Jee is the MVP of this chapter & everyone should bring him snacks he deserves a break (& not the leg breaking type) (but maybe we can amputate - *gunshots* 1 author dead)

[monsterkitties]

alright this is your yearly "if you think being a Gay Puppy UwU is a proper identity adjacent to actually being gay unfollow me" same thing with like straight up nudity or hard sexual themes at pride too. i dont care. being gay is not SPECIFICALLY about what you do when you have sex. being gay is so much more than that but if you'd all like to dumb it down to having sex with someone or something related to sex i mean like go ahead thats what clubs are for bitch lol

[hoths]

hate dog videos that are like “brought my dog to a fair and no one came up to pet him because he’s a pittie and they’re scared of him 💔” random strangers are going about their business and arent taking time out of their day to pet your dog or avoiding petting it because it looks scary? 🤏🎻😢

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Thinking about Meteors AU again and I thought “Hey what if I did Monty’s whole thing first and then Roxy’s whole thing which can be the breaking point and Vanessa has to step in as the long suffering only braincell to ever enter the Security Breach universe”

[fingertipsmp3]

Men are so weird!!!!

[aspeckof-stardust]

.

[thephantomsdream]

Can't stop thinking about Captain John Price, your good friend's boyfriend, listening to you talk about how you are considering getting a guard dog, and he whole-heartedly agrees with you. John likes you, you're a fantastic friend to his dove and you're sweet, and sweet girls do need protection. So he nods along and tells you he'll look into getting you one, a big one to protect you.

Two weeks later, you're invited to your friend's house, her telling you days before that John might have gotten you a dog, so to prepare! She wasn't sure, he just hinted at it on the phone.

Tell me why, after knocking at your bestie's door, she opens kinda pale and awkward, maybe even a little bit annoyed, inviting you in. Instead of a proper, legit, literal dog, John introduces you to Simon Riley, who stands there awkwardly but tall and intimidating while your friend apologizes, calling her boyfriend an idiot. But John isn't an idiot. For a while now, he thought you'd be perfect for his Lt., this just a funny way to introduce you both. And the only thing that took Simon to agree (after a sharp yet bored no when firstly asked) was to send him a picture of you at a bar, smiling.

Extra:

"So... you come with a leash?" You joke with the tall man, whose eyes wrinkle in amusement. He has been more on the silent side although very atentive, his intense brown eyes on you all evening. Now that you were both alone at the balcony, abandoned by the two love-birds, you tried to ease the tension.

"I don't do leashes but I can pull a spiky collar." He smiles as you giggle. Hell, he felt relief that you did. Even happiness...

"Yeah, it would fit you."

"Yeah?" His voice was low and buttery. "What about a tag with your name on it?" He leans down a little, just enough in your personal bubble, and your stomach flipped. You felt your cheeks warm.

"Can it be heart shaped?" You stare prettily at him and all he can do is to snort to ease the tension.

"However you want it." His reply was quick, eager.

"Deal. But first take me on a proper date."

"Perfect." He smirks.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Imagine going on adventures with Logan and Deadpool and you’re the voice of reason behind them 😆 Deapool the idiot with hot headed Wolverine that reader has to keep in check all the time

It’s not easy being the only person with common sense in this rag tag trio of yours.

^^ this is literally you babysitting two grown ass men that need to be kept on leashes and separated from one another in case they fight, again.

You are overworked and underpaid to be dealing with this shit, but there was no one else who had the patience for Wade nor the compassion and empathy for Logan as you did.

So unfortunately you were stuck with them for every mission given but despite how vastly different and incompatible some of you were -*cough* Logan and Wade *cough*- you three worked well enough together that you were a force to be reckoned with.

You were forced to face situations where wade would be pissing Logan off to the point his claws were out, and you had to pat the rugged man on his shoulder, wait for him to look at you as you pointed towards his claws;

‘Them. Away. Now.’ -you.

Wolverine: *grunts*

You: don’t give me attitude, put. them. away. Now.

Wade: ohhh Logan’s in trouble!

You would then look at Wade before pointing at him like a disappointed parent: and you, stop pissing him off if you like to keep your dick where it is! Or so help god me I’ll cut it off myself!

Wade: 😶

Wolverine: *smirks and puts the claws away*

You were their voice of reason, their angel on their shoulder, their peace keeper and confidant and they respect you for keeping up with their shit. However it wouldn’t be much like Logan and Wade to make your life easy as you often had to stand between the two as a barrier of sorts to keep them from killing each other.

When in actuality they are flipping each other off behind your back and it wasn’t until Logan slapped wades hand away, causing him to say ‘ow’ did you look between the two of them as they acted like they weren’t acting like children a few moments ago.

You: I’m so sorry you’ll have to excuse them.

*Meanwhile Wade and Logan fighting, stabbing each other in the balls in the background*

You: WOULD YOU TWO STOP FUCKING FIGHTING FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!

Wade and Logan; *immediately stop and point at each other* he started it!

They were the reason you had grey hairs at an early age you swore this to anyone who’d listen. They were a pain in your ass, thorn in your side and a headache waiting to happen but the moment you were threatened, Wade and Logan put aside their differences and acted accordingly by standing protectively in front of you.

Logan: I would shut the fuck up if I were you bub.

Wade: oh look what you did, you made daddy angry.

Logan and you looking at Wade: 🤨😐

You: can you not make everything into a sex joke?

Wade, booping you on the nose; it comes with the territory peanut.

Logan: be serious for fucking once, they’ve just got threatened!

Wade: you don’t think I want our pookie to get hurt? (why do I think he’d say pookie unironically)

You: kill me now and end my misery. Please someone, anyone. Preferably pyro. (He’s hot, literally and figuratively)

Being stuck with Logan and wolverine is a curse and a blessing at the same time, which one you want to focus on more is up to you. However you three were incredibly loyal to each other, even if you do piss each other off from time to time, but you’d never betray one another for it wasn’t an option.

You were stuck with these two whether you liked it or not.

[devil-in-hiding]

John Price wouldn’t consider himself a possessive man. Never felt the need to keep a tight leash on former lovers, more so he would call himself protective, obviously.

However if you were to ask his men, which he advises you to not give those muppets the time of day, they would tell you he is possessive over what he deems as his.

Which includes you. You are the most constant thing in his life besides his duties and the team. You keep his head straight, at his side with a glass and a cigar, ushering him over to collapse onto his office’s couch on nights he feels as though if he types one more word his head might actually explode.

“I need to-“

“I will finish typing up this report, YOU will relax. You have bags under your eyes.” Never taking no for an answer, and he always gives in. It gives him a chance to admire you, the comfortable silence the two of you sit in whilst you type away, muttering to yourself as you go over his notes.

It’s one of the little things he adores about you, always seeming to find you having a conversation with yourself as you tend to whatever task he had asked of you, or, when you indulge them, whatever Soap and Gaz begged you to do for them before Price found out.

And that’s where it starts. If he finds you working on something he assigned to those idiots, he does not expect to find HIS pretty girl doing it. He has made it clear to you, multiple times, that you don’t have to do it just because they sweet talked you into it. Oh and help any young solider that tries to treat you as a glorified errand girl. One young man made the mistake of barking an order at you, the water was running low and he had seen you talking to Ghost, and you just about jumped out of your skin when the guy all but yanked you away, missing the way Ghost stiffens (he wouldn’t let anything happen to you, ever, but he also knows Price is watching, always.)

“You deaf or somethin’ you daft girl? I told you we needed-“

“Let go of her. Now.” Price’s growl has both of you spinning around, and he glares down at the recruit, who cowers.

“I was just asking her-“

“She is not a bloody errand girl. Now, I said let go of her.” His voice drops, and the recruit drops your wrist as though you had burnt him. “Captain Price-“

“A hundred laps. Get to it before I up to one fifty.” He barks, and the young man scurries away, eyes wide and Ghost watches the way John gently lifts your wrist, inspecting it.

“He didn’t hurt you now did he pretty? Bloody fuckin’ muppet, should make him scrub the toilets.” He mutters, tracing his finger over a vein.

“I’m okay John, really. I think you scared him enough as it is.” You smile, falling into step behind him as he strides towards his office. “Let’s get you away from these idiots.”

“Yes sir.”

[the-private-local-enemy]

my neighbors are really truly proving that this town's average intelligence is bottom of the barrel letting their yappy little cuntrag of a dog out off-leash after sundown