#God fucking kill me

[amourtoken]

oh man it's time for me to ramble again

Mentor Nicky/Apprentice reader

Also, ik most tattoo shops have an open floor plan but let's just pretend Nicholas has the piercer luxury and gets his own private room/space I promise ur not throating him in a room with 500 other people staring.

*NSFW below the cut, MDNI*

cw: possibly toxic dynamic, degradation, mentions of exhibitionism, raw sex (ya get it by now don't do this), toxic ass Nicholas (I'm sorry ik he's a sweetheart irl but I had to), oral (both receiving, Nicky eats it from the back js),

♡ he was doing the shop owner a favor by apprenticing you. You're his daughter, and Nicholas wanted to keep his job. Under any other circumstance he most likely would've declined. At least you're easy to look at.

♡ he had you working constantly, running errands for him and cleaning his station between clients. If you're gonna take up his time you were gonna be useful.

♡ you were trying your best!! You thought Nicholas was such an amazing artist and constantly complimented his work every chance you got. Alas, he continued to be a hard ass.

♡ there was palpable tension between the two of you to LITERALLY anyone else. you were clueless, but it's not like he made a point to hide how he stared at you while you performed some mundane task he'd assigned you to. You weren't aware until a specific interaction occurred-

♡ you'd finished up with your main errands and had set everything up for his next client, so you went to innocently ask if there was anything else you could do to help him out. He responded with

"if you really wanna help me, you'd be on your fuckin' knees under this desk."

♡ wow!

♡ well. You're the one who asked the question, and you're never one to decline when he orders you around. You wanted to please him, you really didn't wanna lose this apprenticeship :(( (you had no idea about the deal between Nicholas and your father, mind you.)

♡ this interaction led to a new dynamic. If you were done with whatever bullshit quest he'd sent you on, you're at his side like a lost puppy. He'd taken to nicknaming you that anyway since you were glued to his side most days and just "looked so pretty on the floor"

♡ he's gross!! I hate him!!! (This is a lie I would die for him)

♡ any time Nicholas was at his desk drawing up concepts for a new client, you were sat underneath and settled between his legs. He claimed it helped him focus but in reality it did the opposite.

♡ You knew the drill by now, he was your mentor but you had such a childish crush on him too. This wasn't helping. You hoped he liked you back. Surely he did, right? It definitely felt like it when he slid a free hand under the desk to tangle it in your hair and press your face against his hard cock through his jeans. He's an asshole and he absolutely has a picture of you in this exact position.

♡ if he didn't have clients for a bit, he'd drop whatever drawing he was meant to be working on to enjoy some quality time with his apprentice. By this he means fucking your throat while you're sat all prettily on your knees for him. He loved seeing you as messy as possible too bc he's gross and evil (and I literally need him so bad-)

♡ he'd smear his pre cum all over your pretty lips before telling you to open so he can slap the length on your tongue. He'd bury both hands in your hair and force your head all the way down on his dick when he cums some days and pull out to paint your face others. Either situation is dependent on how his day has been. Makes you clean your mess up either way by sucking the excess off his cock or licking what's left off your face from his fingers when he gathers it up just to have you clean it off. He reprimands you for being such a messy slut for him.

"Not very professional walking around with my cum on your face."

♡ LOVES resting his cock on your face just to see how big it is compared to you. (Again, has a pic of this bc he's awful)

♡ Nicholas bitches at you whenever you wear anything but a skirt to the shop. He claims if you want clients to notice you you're gonna have to "give them something to notice" but really it's all for him and he stares daggers at anyone who lingers on you for too long.

♡ Sometimes fucking your pretty mouth just isn't what he's craving. In this case, he pulls you onto his lap. It's a lot harder to focus on drawing this way than it is when you're on your knees for him so this is typically reserved for times where he's either very stressed or not busy.

♡ he'll squeeze your hips to grind you down onto his achingly hard length, rolling your hips against it through his jeans.

"so fuckin' stressed...gonna let me take it out on that pretty lil' pussy finally?"

"Just the tip, I promise- just wanna feel you." (Lie, he'll rub the tip against your entrance once before deciding that's not enough and he'll fuck his entire length into you)

♡ literally anyone else would've already left this position and told him to fuck himself but you're enamored and just wanna make him proud so you'll do anything. Is it wrong? Sure. Do you think about that? No. If Nicholas says so, surely it's nothing bad.

♡ he knows if his boss ever found any of this out he'd probably fucking kill him but God your pussy is good enough to risk it for. Feels like you were made for him. Plus, if he tells you to keep what you're up to on the low, you will.

♡ realllllllyyyy pushed it one day by picking you up off his lap and setting you on his tattoo chair so he could "fuck you right". He hiked your skirt up just enough for easy access and had you nearly in tears on his cock. Had to hold his hand tightly over your mouth so you'd keep quiet and would reprimand you for being so loud. You were trying your best, but it's hard when he's hitting just the right angle inside you and making your legs shake :((

"Do you want everyone else to hear? Fucking slut."

"You're acting like you've never been fucked before, am I really that good?"

"Just shut the fuck up and take my cock- fuck"

♡ usually he's insanely self indulgent and doesn't care to do anything for you but after watching you cum on his cock while laid out on his chair? Something in his brain flipped. He needed to see it again, feel you grip him that tight again.

♡ easiest way to do this for him was immediately flipping you over, face down ass up and burying his face in your pussy from behind. You were basically useless at this point, brain melted and eyes nearly crossed from how good he felt. You had really expected any reciprocation from him so this shit was a treat.

"You taste so fuckin' sweet- I should've done this earlier"

Ill write more on this ASAP but I'm stopping here to gather myself bc I need this man so bad I could literally eat a shopping cart piece by piece-

[the-milk-monarch]

OK, before I completely go away from this account, I had it all written out, won't ever finish it but to the one person who requested this - here you go you nasty creature. No beta read. Um yeah

BEWARE: NSFW ALPHABET (MIKE)

【 🔞 NSFW Alphabet - Mike】

☢︎ gn!reader

☢︎ Total Drama (Mike)

Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He's gonna make sure you're okay after everything. Lots of cuddles afterwards, this boy thrives on affection. If it's your first time he's probably gonna be way more shy about it though.

If you made a mess, he's gonna bring you a towel or some napkins, not wanting you to get out of bed, he's gonna bring them to you .

"Oh, no, you don't have to get up, please, I got it"

He would also melt if you reassured him with some kisses and 'I love you's after the act, so he wouldn't have to feel so dirty about doing such an intimate thing with you.

Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part of yours would probably be the arms, hands.

Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Mike's a bit of a coy boy when it comes to it. He's not truly disgusted by his own body function, but will be anxious about your opinion on it. Because, what if you think he's disgusting?

He will immediately apologize the first time he happens to get his cum on you. Of course he gets more comfortable with time, as you reassure him that it is indeed fine for him - it is what you want, after all.

If you're more daring and kinky than he is (which let's face it, ain't hard) and swallow or, god forbid, lick your messy hand, he will literally die from overheating.

As for his opinion on your fluids - he's not really disgusted. He loves all of you, even when you're a bit- sticky.

Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

His most "dirty secret" is that he's actually sexually repressed. Yeah, no surprise here.

I assume Mike didn't really have appropriate circumstances to learn all about sexual activities in a safe space, so he had to just- wing it by himself. Which made him quite embarrassed about his own needs and desires.

He will usually let you control the situation, focusing on your pleasure before his, and generally will be a soft vanilla.

Even though the boy seems very PG-13, he's still a hormonal man who has his fantasies. He's very shy about even letting you know about them at first, but with time and lots of reassurance from you, he finally let's you know about his "dark side".

Although he's not as vulgar and doesn't swear on regular, he might let himself go if he's really in the zone and feeling safe around you.

You remember the first time he murmured, with a hint of desperation in his voice

"...fuck- please... c-continue-"

and then immediately stopped whatever he was doing to check if you're not off-put by his comment, with anxiety in his eyes - which you thought was adorable. Because, why would you be? Mike's opening up to you!

Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He's not as innocent as one might think, and he probably seen some movies that wouldn't be classified as safe for work. Of course he doesn't mention that often, as he's rather bashful about those things.

He also likely researched some videos that weren't strictly porn and went on those sites that describe how to pleasure your partner, as he'd rather be prepared for anything that the future might bring, even if he'd die out of embarrassment if someone found out.

As for his body count, it's either 1 or a total zero. This boy has no idea what he's doing in practice, but he's determined to make you feel good!

Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Any of those where he can see your face.

He'd like to see you enjoying yourself, that's his main focus.

Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Although Mike's initial anxiety makes him think of the act as very important, he's not as serious when he's actually relaxed around you.

I mean, he's still trying his damn best to make you both feel good, but he's also lighthearted enough to stop and quickly discuss something during the fun times. Like, stopping whatever you're doing to ask something real quick or turning "sexy talk" into a silly remark if it's appropriate to do so.

"...So- should I call you a bunny from now on?" He quietly remarks, a bit flustered by the topic at hand, waiting for your reaction with a goofy smile.

"Mike, I didn't take you for a dirty-talker?" You respond to him amused, him pardoning your slightly hoarse tone.

"I- Bunnies are cute!" He chuckles while explaining himself, with red tinting his cheeks.

If he's comfortable and feeling particularly loving in the moment, he also might give you a few smooches on your face leading to your neck, gaining some giggles from you and a warm smile from him.

Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I imagine Mike keeps himself well groomed, for his and your comfort. He doesn't want to be nasty, and usually washes before doing anything with you.

He's not totally shaved up, but he likes to neatly trim himself as a form of keeping good hygiene.

Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Even though you're his partner, he'd be ashamed of thinking of you in that way.

He doesn't wanna treat you like a sexual object, even when it's appropriate and in his own head.

This man tries to be so nice he actually forgets why one jacks off in the first place.

He doesn't have any kinky fantasies about you though, it's mostly just fluff and some passionate and sweet love-making.

But god forbid you learn about that - you could think he's a creep!

It's a bit of a guilty pleasure for him, and once you poke the info outta him, he goes completely red admitting to it.

He feels better once you tell him you think it's very lovely of him to be so considerate and sweet, but he can- let go a bit, yk??

If you jerk him off he will literally melt.

Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Mike surely has a praise kink. Tell him how well he does, how he makes you feel and how sweet he is.

He's not used to receiving compliments in real life, so hearing them during sex only makes him more flustered.

He will blush like crazy, but the guilty-pleasure - for him, at least - will get him even more eager, hearing how much you want him.

Location (favorite places to do the do)

At your or his house. Somewhere safe and private. He's not really the one to be risque in the public.

His favorite place is the bed, but he won't mind being more intimate on the couch, if you're in the mood.

He won't mind you being more adventurous, like using the kitchen counter, but he will not look at this place the same way again for several weeks after that.

Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

The words "I want you."

No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Mike's rather vanilla, preferring to stay with what he already knows, (which isn't much to be honest) but he won't mind if you suggest something new.

He might be a bit (very) flustered when it happens, though.

His anxieties will also likely flare up, worrying over doing something wrong and forgetting to actually enjoy the experience.

After you notice it and remind him that you want him to have fun as well, he'll try to stop, but some reassurance kisses wouldn't hurt.

Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Mike doesn't own any toys himself, nor did he probably touched any IRL.

He might be a bit afraid of the bad boys but he's not immature.

He'll be happy to assist you if you want him to use them on you, and maybe even will let you try some on him.

It takes a lot of courage from him though, but it's just a matter of learning a new thing.

Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Mike isn't the one to tease.

He takes you very seriously, unless you're both in a playful mood and knows you won't mind.

It's more so just lighthearted banter.

If you won't specifically request for him to tease you, (no judgement here) he will be always happy to please, rather the opposite of teasing.

If you do ask him for it though, he might have some hiccups here and there, like not knowing what to say or feeling silly, but he will get the hang of it.

"So, uh- You wanna- You want me to go faster? W-well- I haven't heard any 'please'." He says, trying to put on a confident tone.

" ...did I do that right??"

Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Get ready for a lot of mewling and muttering because this boy is vocal.

Just because he's vocal doesn't mean he's not flustered by it, though.

Mike's rather quiet but "talkative".

Like, he won't be loud, but you will be able to hear many of his whimpers and whines as he's loosing himself in the act.

He might mumble your name, trying to communicate, but at the end of the night it'll be indistinguishable from his pants.

+ a lot of stuttering at first

Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He definitely tried some experimenting on himself to discover what he likes, then got so embarrassed about it he stopped.

Like, fingering for example. Being a man surrounded with toxic masculinity in the world took a toll on him as well, although not to a degree where he'd be toxic to other people. He's just ashamed of what he likes, but it stems more from his anxiousness about sexual activities.

Reassure him it's okay!!

X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Average size, probably slightly thinner girth.

He doesn't usually focus on his junk though, I imagine he has more important matters to worry about in his day to day life.

When it does matter however, he would be very self-conscious about you seeing him naked.

He doesn't see himself as totally ugly, but not as a model either.

He's just kinda- there.

He came to a conclusion that his lanky body ain't that attractive though, so he will be slightly bashful about showing himself to you.

After some practice he'll learn to chill out though, only being embarrassed by the massive effect you have on him, not because of his body.

Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He's either not thinking about sex at all, or gets insanely horny (well, to a reasonable degree).

Before you two became a couple his sex drive was rather small, as he had other things on his head to do, and it kept him away from feeling any sort of sexual need.

He's also not very open about it, and some could assume he's ace.

He's like the definition of SFW.

But it's just his problems with self image.

After you appear on the scene though, suddenly Mike feels those feelings of need more often.

At first he'd just calm himself down and try to not be weird around you, dealing with it himself once you're gone if needed (with a sprinkle of some guilt after).

But if you're past the initial phase of only you offering sex, he might let himself go a little.

"U-um... Y/N...?" He mutters shyly as his focus jumps from one place to another.

"Yeah?" You casually respond with a calm smile.

"...Would you- Could we- A-are you in the mood currently...?" He finally spits out what he wanted to say, his face and ears fully red.

You blink once. "Oh."

He panics. "W-we don't have to do anything if you don't want to, haha-" He quickly elaborates.

"Oh- No, no, no-" You come closer to him as he shies away, flustered.

"I was hoping you'd finally ask." You show him a smile, with a hint of playful and cheeky smirk.

That managed to turn him all red and mumbly.

You better take the lead though, as he's too busy over explaining himself.

Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Pretty quickly I'd say.

He will curl up and cling to you like an orphan monkey.

He loves to cuddle after sex, and it's just so cozy-

You might be mid-talk when you suddenly feel him feeling heavier on you.

He tries to stay awake, because he doesn't want to be rude, but you're too much of a good pillow for him to resist your charms.

Bonus: Will almost exclusively sleep in clothes, never naked.

[noelledeltarune]

EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt

[mipexch]

I WAS MADE FOR YOU // YOU WERE MADE FOR ME

[adiodont]

”Oh I’m not leaving”

(siblings)

[words-writ-in-starlight]

listen I expected literally Nothing from the D&D movie okay, like I can't make it clear enough that I expected the most soulless money grab with a good cgi budget imaginable, I went in having already gone through every stage of grief and landed on acceptance and LISTEN

I fucking CRIED during this dumb RPG movie. it wasn't just "not terrible" it was objectively good with a clever plot and compelling characters and sincere emotional beats. this movie loves D&D so fucking much and it NAILS the "a bunch of goobers try to be cool and accidentally discover The Power Of Friendship And Also Great Violence" classic D&D party vibe. their barbarian's last name is fucking Kilgore and my entire family cried in the theater.

I hope they make twelve of these motherfuckers.

[egophiliac]

swipes everything else off of the table to yell about diasomnia flower bookmarks

(I gave Silver one too :D)

[favroitecrime]

Palestinian freedom fighters breaking out of Gaza and reclaiming their occupied territories. They’ve taken over israeli tanks and have chased out the settlers that were on that land. They’ve launched rockets everywhere and the iron dome has failed to intercept. This is about to mark a momentous event in history.

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.

[wildflowercryptid]

the kalosian worms are quickly eating away at my brain, folks.

[boxofoxberry]

happy pride month

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

all this to say: i think it'd be cute if Barnaby literally howls with laughter

[aroaceleovaldez]

Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.

Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.

Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.

Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.

[denkies]

Me: i ❤ doomed relationship

The doomed relationship: *fulfills the "doomed" title*

Me:

[abombihoney]

she's so fucking mean 2 me

[slugcatt]

You know what.

Fuck it. Im saying it. It's probably been said before but i dont care

A concerning amount of rain world fans hate mentally ill people and characters.

The way Five Pebbles gets written off as a "bad guy" so much just shows.

What he did isnt murder. Murder would imply it was premeditated. Murder would imply it was malicious. It was not malicious, it was not premeditated, it was not murder. Moon was not murdered.

It did get better with Downpour but still. FP should not be on the villians wiki. Especially when the categories the page is in are these