#Gojo’s parent are still alive 😭…..

[tariah23]

So sugar baby Gojo is canon btw

[shiftinghoesblog]

yapping about my drs ❕❕

okay so this was a request from one of my moots to do this so yeah!!

i have no clue where to start, but i’ll talk about some of my desired realities that i shift to, but probably mainly non group shift ones, so personal ones 🫦

INFLUENCER

- this is one of my most recent drs i’ve been scripting and not gonna lie the main reason i’m shifting here is because of my man 🤭 he cosplays gojo... so you probably know as to why but besides the point, i was raised a nepo baby and younger sister to meghan thee stallion. i am a content creator, influencer (duh), fashion designer and i live with my s/o in the upper east side of new york🗽. i scripted that my first shift will be during christmas eve because who wouldn't wanna experience the city that never sleeps during the festive season and with your partner 😩 it’s gonna be the dream. i have a mad crazy friend group but i love them all because we’re so hot, cool and sexy. i did script that megan’s parents are still alive in my dr so let’s not worry about that. 💀 i dreamt about this dr a couple of times actually and about my s/o 😍, a couple of my friends. really looking forward to this dr.

OUTER BANKS

- i think i shifted here like twice or a couple of times but didn't realise it because i did mention to y’all about chilling with kiara and sarah, another time i did find myself surfing like literally just living the life through the waves and my ass thought it was a dream. looking back i doubt it was, in many instances to be honest. in this dr i am the sister to kiara and my s/o is pope 😌 i grew up a kook but i transitioned to a pogue when i joined the others. i’m the reason behind kiara and sarah making up and i’m close with rafe since kiara and sarah were best friends and probably would have sleepovers together. i scripted that cleo’s lesbian lmao 😭 you know why. i wiped the plot out a little and also made everyone graduate already so that school is out of the way when hunting for the gold.

AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER

yep, i have an atla dr yay! in this dr i’m the oldest sister to kiara and sokka. i’m a waterbending master and my s/o’s zuko??? enemies to lovers kinda vibe. definitely part of the gaang and i’m shifting here because atla is part of my childhood. i have the ability to also create ice and other powerful combat skills so i can't wait to experience this universe.

LEGENDS OF KORRA

i also have a lok dr because why not, i’m the little sister to korra the avatar but i’m gonna prove to everyone that i’m also capable to make a difference and i scripted that i can blood bend.. so ain't no one gonna touch me as well still being able to water bend. my s/o is bolin because he’s so underrated for real.

THE ORIGINALS

in this dr, i’m a hybrid so vampire and werewolf and an adopted mikealson. i live in new orleans and my parents are rebekah and marcel even though their not my bio parental figures because they are already dead 💀. also hopefully i can survive when dahlia comes in because i scripted that my first shift will be during season 2 😓 well shit wish me luck y’all. at least i’ll get to see baby hope aw.

FAME

i have a fame dr because i love attention 🥰 my main profession is being an actor and i’m known for my role in the vampire diaries. i also play robin in the one piece live action and act in many more projects, a nepo baby in this dr too because almost all my family members are well-known. my s/o is caleb mclaughlin? he plays lucas in stranger things and our characters in the show dated so that’s how our relationship sparked.

TWILIGHT

i love talking about drs so yeah i have a twilight dr where when i first shift, i’ll be human but i get turned by a villain in order to send the cullens (my friends) a warning like it’s “game on” so i’m gonna have to mentally prepare myself because i’m gonna basically die 😭 lmao. my s/o is jacob because i’m team jacob simple and it’s a slow burn 😀 woop woop.

ROYAL

I guess this blog will be updated regularly because I have a new and quite recent dr I just finished scripting like the other day. this reality is basically me being a soon-to-be queen princess and thinking about if the one piece live action × royalty had a mashup?? yeah, it's that. I'm shifting back to the 1600s-1800s which is where this dr is set, so I'm really excited about this one.

NEPO BABY

In this reality that I plan on shifting to, I was inspired by a wholesome dream I once had, I am the youngest daughter to Micheal B. Jordan and Jourdan Dunn, my siblings are Tyla and Damson Idris. I am a nepo baby in this reality, and I am part of the ATLA Live Action cast. I wanna live the ravish job-free life.

SOME OTHER DRS

waiting room - i plan on permashifting here, chill, script, feel free, play with my cat, breath fresh air.

better cr - a better version of my cr and my s/o is jiung from p1harmony, i live with jenna ortega, i attend a boarding school in london, i also model.

wednesday - i’m the sister to bianca and my s/o is kent, i’m a siren and psychic medium.

fate: the winx saga - it’s so underrated i see no one shift here but it’s like the winx live action adaption on netflix, the only dr where i didn't script an s/o.

ateez - my s/o is san and i’m the only female and 9th member, main rapper, performer and maknae.

streamer - i go by lemonpie and my s/o is cory kenshin 😚.

victorious - grew up watching it and i’m andre’s sister.

soloist - i’m a k-pop soloist in this dr and my s/o is blackpink jisoo (yes I’m wlw) she’s so 😍😍😍.

singles inferno - this is a dating reality tv show but at the end of it i end up with wonho (ex. monsta x) i’m besties with song jia.

GROUP SHIFTS

not gonna lie they piss me off if they don’t put the damn effort

one piece (anime) - so far my most enjoyable one is the one piece (anime) shared dr because we talk almost everyday. anywho my s/o is sanji ahhh my vinsmoke baby! i’m the little sister to the asl brothers and my devil fruit is similar to aokoiji so ice ect. i am part of the straw hats and joined them during the alabasta arc.

kard - the k-pop co-ed group basically, me and the person barely talk so you see why i prefer my personals drs.. yeah. my s/o is enhypen’s jay 😍 and my positions are sub-rapper, sub-vocalist, producer and maknae. i’m always a maknae in k-pop group drs for some reason 😭.

the legacies - person dipped on me and didn't even fill any of their sections so! i’m poly with hope and josie, i’m a werewolf and witch.

harry potter - i’m the head girl of slytherin and my s/o’s draco, i scripted fred’s death out. also shifting to the half-blood prince era.

teen wolf - i’m a tribrid in this dr so i’m gonna be unstoppable!

the vampire diaries - a bennett witch, cousin to bonnie.

one piece (live action) - i’m a phoenix hybrid in this dr and also part of the straw hats, grew up around shanks.

romance - umm this dr ticks me off low-key because the person that i’m group shifting with ghosts me 😝 i didn't script an s/o for a reason i’m just gonna ditch them for jonathan daviss 💀💀💀 like imagine fumbling manon (I'm shifting as manon from katseye in this dr) i don’t want that person as my s/o anymore and like we’re “friends” here, miss me with that shit.

my hero academia - the group shift is dead bro no one is fucking talking in the group chat, one of them quit shifting, the other i was pfp matching with changed their damn pfp without telling me. script ain't finished too, they all called it a day. and y'all wonder why i don't wanna join no group shift no more.

this was lengthy but y’all asked to yap about my drs other than jujutsu kaisen which you already know about that dr and spill some tea so i did exactly that, i hope you enjoyed and this better not flop, i spent hours typing this 🥳.

@angelic-daiquiri

[goosynya]

4.

Q: Was it Gojo's wish to go to a magic school or was it because his family told him to?

A: It was Gojo's wish, he was fed up with his overbearing family.

5.

Q: Are Gojo's parents still alive? Are they high-ranking magic users?

A: They are alive. They gained a higher status in the Gojo clan by giving birth to Gojo Satoru, but they are not particularly strong as magic users, so they were separated from Gojo at a young age. (Because they cannot participate in his training as a magic user.)

6.

Q: Is Gojo an only child?

A: He is an only child. Since he is in one of the three great clans, he has many relatives, but because he was treated specially, he most likely did not have normal interactions with his relatives.

7.

Q: In Chapter 96, Ogami and the others saw Gojo's child walking around the city alone. What was he doing in the middle of the city?

A: He ran away from home and was just wandering around

(why did he run away from home, i envy his life😭)

[gojoest]

Hi i have a question as a non manga reader but a fellow satoru enjoyer…and i love ur content so i figure ur the best to ask lol..so since he was killed (my heart) does that mean his six eyes will never be around again? I was confused if it was a family thing or not? And they said he was the first born with it in like 400 years right? Since he didn’t have kids (hurts bad) does that mean his family was wiped out? Or did the manga mention he had more family members? It makes me so sad he was killed but it’s even worse if his special technique literally died too 😭

omg hello! thank you for trusting me 🥹

so the six eyes is an inherited technique that runs in the gojo clan and only one person can have it at a time. the six eyes is tightly connected to the limitless bc in order to fully master the latter you need the former — which is a huge part of why satoru was so powerful. it’s incredibly rare for someone to inherit both abilities which is once again what made him such a once in a several centuries kind of sorcerer

satoru is an only child but he does have many relatives which is only natural after being born into one of the big three clans. gege mentioned that he never had normal interactions with any of them since he was constantly treated differently bc of how special he was. we don’t know much about his parents, only that he was separated from them at a very young age to undergo training since his parents were not particularly strong sorcerers (gege also mentioned that they are alive + gained higher status within the clan after giving birth to satoru)

so technically the six eyes didn’t die with him. there’s still a chance someone in the gojo clan could inherit it in the future

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Might be Hella random, but I was just thinking about Gojo and his parents.

Like, it's easy to forget that a man that's the closest thing to a god, came from a couple within the Gojo clan. Are they dead? Alive? How is their relationship?

And did Gojo ever seek his mother out for comfort? Did he ever cry to her when Geto left? Cause imagine him being deprived of his own parents' love and support when he was so far detached from any form of normalcy. Did his parents willingly let him be trained and shaped into a weapon or did they fight tooth and nail against it?

From how he is within the manga and series, I'd guess that his parents weren't all that close to him, or simply went along with the clan's wishes to practically use him.

But what if his mother other than pride for birthing him felt guilt for doing so, for giving him a life that was so blessed with power and importance, that it became a burden?

I feel like we're missing so much from Gojo's and Geto's relationships with their parents...

YOU AND ME BOTH ANON.

gojo and geto and their feelings towards/relations to their parents feel so …… important and also so interesting so i kinda love that we don’t know anything canonically 😭😭 i love being able to come up with my own takes and theories!!!

these are just my own thoughts, but i really feel like gojo’s parents are dead or just. absent. i don’t think gojo ever really Had parents, in the sense that they just didn’t exist to him. i can imagine them melting together with all the other servants and maids and expressionless faces of the clan, ushered away, or maybe going reclusive on their own after birthing something so much greater than themselves. there must be so, so much envy there. so much hate. i wouldn’t be surprised if they were among the many people who tried killing him when he was just a child. and i don’t think it was something gojo ever felt sad about — i really have this feeling that something like ”parents” never existed in his world. he might as well be an orphan, even if they are alive and well, still.

…… i do. also really like the idea of gojo having some kind of mommy issues, though 😭 just this gaping sense that something is missing but he’ll never figure out what. he doesn’t miss his mother, but sometimes he dreams of a warm embrace, the tired face of a woman, and he has no idea why he feels so empty afterwards.

as for geto… i think his relation to his parents is equally strained, equally twisted, but in a different kind of way. i think it was a great relief to have them gone from his life forever, non-sorcerers or not.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

HELP your time travel shenanigans fic idea about toji being very much alive but still putting the fate of his two little ass kids in the hands of a bunch of 16-17 year olds even if he’s still breathing. if i was megumi then my abandonment issues would’ve gone crazy if that happened to me 😭. mamaguro is looking down from the pearly white gates IN ANGER at toji’s audacity i just know it.

but now i’m curious on other ideas (that you have) for fics about jjk that you may or may not get to after sea glass gardens.

see the sad thing is that letting a bunch of 16-17 year old bitchy disaster gays discover the magic of teen parenthood is actually a step up because he had already sold Megumi to the Zenin and feral wolverines would be a better alternative to them. This was the best parenting decision toji has ever made.

(Time travel!Megumi: look we don’t have any other options. Anything is better than the Zenin.

Gojo, in the distance: they’re what three? That’s old enough for a red bull

Geto: I will actually kill you over this satoru

Time travel!megumi: *deep breath*)

A loose catalogue of my jjk fics, which may or may not exist one day:

Sea glass gardens verse:

I am forever compelled by the siren call of expanding my fics into universes because one story is never enough for me. I’ve got threeish stories in this universe, with no promises of how many, if any, I’ll write.

1. The Teen Parenting Chronicles: Gojo, Nanami, and Shoko’s expert guide to raising children when you are, in fact, children. Featuring what the fuck happened with the Zenin the first time around.

2. Megumi’s pov of what just happened leading up to sea glass gardens: someone asked me if I’d ever write this and it has the highest chance of existing because I have. Sort of. Started writing it. I have impulse control issues.

3. Okkotsu Yuuta and the world’s longest distance panic attack: crack fic of Yuuta on his study abroad trip becoming increasingly more frantic at the other second year’s updates as to how His Boy’s first year as a jujutsu sorcerer is going. What do you mean sukunas there. What do you mean he doesn’t have a shirt. Well put one on him!

Time travel AU:

1. The Time Traveler’s Guide to Fucking Shit Up And Living Well: following another attempt on their lives by the higher ups, the first year gang is forced into a desperate, high stakes gamble with a time-centric curse that puts their very existences at stake. If they want to survive, they have to complete one task of their choosing in the past before the clock runs out. Their mission?

To punch fushiguros shitty bio dad in the face, something which will surely have no long term consequences on the timeline.

See this one has the most chance of actually existing one day because it is by far my FAVORITE jjk fic I have. It even beats out sea glass gardens. I desperately want to write it.

2. The 2006 Gang and the Art of a Good Union: following a confusing incident with the star plasma vessel and three unknown sorcerers, the 2006 Tokyo jujutsu high first and second year class inexplicably goes off the rails and retires from jujutsu sorcery, claiming that they’ve discovered the magic of teen parenthood and can in no way risk themselves in such a dangerous profession now that they have kids to think about. At least, not with the way things are run now.

No one knows where they got the children from.

3. Toji Fushiguro and the Dead Beat Dad Chronicles: in which toji fushiguro succeeds at being a dead beat baby daddy to two teenaged gay boys and their crew of bitchy lgbtq compadres, who in no way want him to be involved in their children’s lives.

Standalones:

1. “Fushiguro is unleashed in junpei’s school like an invasive superpredator” AU: I’ve talked about this one in way more detail in another post for an ask game, but the idea is that itadori discovers junpeis abuse at school and says Not On His Fucking Watch and escalates the matter to gojo, who decides the funniest possible solution while they try to draw out mahito is to unleash his all star delinquent son into junpeis high school to bully the bullies.

Fushiguro resents this as a problem solving strategy.

2. The Zenin raise Megumi AU: also discussed in more detail in an ask game. In which people took Tsumiki’s little brother from her, but she’s trying to get him back, she promises.

Or, in which the Zenin take megumi, leave tsumiki, and they both spend every day after fighting to get back to the other.

3. Sort of a no curse AU: Itafushi romance story, in which local himbo Itadori Yuuji falls for delinquent Fushiguro Megumi when his grandpa is placed in the room next to Fushiguros comatose sister. Starts as a no curse AU�� except there’s totally curses, Tsumikis mom just moved them to Sendai without telling anyone so the Zenin never found Megumi, and he’s just never told anyone about the curses he sees because he’s worried he’s schizophrenic. He thought the shikigami thing was a metaphor for self actualization or something.

4. Fushiguro Megumi and the World’s Most Inconvenient Custody Battle: pre JJK0, Geto decides to be a shithead magic terrorist at a local school that represents all the worst of monkey society: it’s known for a rampant bullying issue, which is a breeding ground for cursed spirits, and it contributes to the risk to jujutsu sorcerers by feeding a local legend of a haunted bridge that could explode into a serious curse any day.

What he didn’t count on? Finding the new Ten Shadows in the student body, who’s fully willing to kamikaze them both if it means saving his sister’s life.

And who doesn’t seem to be aware that he more than has the potential to take suguru in a fight.

In which Fushiguro just wanted to shut up, go to school, and go home, and instead finds himself in a binding vow to give cult life a whirl to save the lives of classmates he doesn’t even like all that much.

It involves oddly more parenting than he expected.

5. Fake Fiancés AU: prodigy and noble prize winning physicist Gojo Satoru, following a very ill advised fuck buddies arrangement with fushiguro toji, has settled down into domestic bliss with the two kids he took from the relationship despite them not, in any way, being related to him. The problem? His ex is back in town. The hot one. The one who broke up with him and started a cult. The one who he wants to convince he got over when he absolutely did not do that.

The solution? Tell everyone he’s happily engaged to Nanami Kento, who cannot express enough how much he does not want him to do that.

… until, all of a sudden, he needs a show of domestic bliss himself. His adoptive son’s older brother, sukuna, has crawled out of the woodwork and decided to make a play for custody himself. And Nanami does not know what Sukuna truly wants, but he knows it does not have Yuuji’s best interests at heart.

I share custody of this story with my best friend, who cocreated it with me over deranged text message. I may convince her to joint write it with me if I ever get her to publish her fanfic.

6. Todo Aoi and Schrodinger’s Boyfriend: Todo’s beloved brother, who is most assuredly a man, suffers some kind of terrible brain damage that leads him to confess he loves an assless boy. Todo cannot abide by this, until it’s pointed out to him that if Fushiguro’s type is his brother, that would make him the most interesting man alive. If it is not, he continues to be a boring and uninteresting boy.

Todo sets off on a mission with two goals: determine if fushiguro megumi is interesting, and get him to do some squats. because there’s simply no ass there.

Fushiguro wonders why his life is suddenly harder.

7. Choso and the Art of Being a Big Brother: choso discovers the truth of kenjaku early and does the only logical thing in response: he kills his father in his sleep, cuts out his brain, and delivers it in a jar to his new brother Itadori Yuuji as the first step in wooing him into domestic sibling love.

Megumi doesn’t know where these people come from. Or why all of them think itadori is their brother.

8. SatoSugu realizes their little boy is all grown up when he gets his first crush on a boy when he meets yuuji.

They do not fucking take it with grace.

Also co-written with my best friend via text message.

9. The instagram chronicles: crack fic in which the jujutsu sorcery personnel crisis gets worse, because nobara Kugisaki keeps trying to hard launch her instagram influencer career, and keeps accidentally making every jujutsu sorcerer instagram famous except for her

10. So I don’t actually ship Yuuta and Megumi, but I do really like the idea of low stakes relationships? Like, especially for teen romances. You tried it, decided you were better off as friends, and just went back to being friends. I just like the idea of fumbling around in relationships and getting a sense of boundaries and what you’re interested in without it being a big, world-shaking romance. It seems like a more realistic portrayal of high school relationships than every one of them being this world-defining mature love.

Pre season 1 but post JJK 0, Yuuta and Megumi dated for maybe a month and half, held hands maybe twice, and decided that they were better off as friends and parted on good terms. The issue?

No one realized they were dating. And when it is realized, everyone thinks their relationship was torpedoed because the second years kept inviting themselves onto their dates.

Cue the jjk high school students trying to amend old mistakes and get Yuuta and Megumi back together, who do not, in fact, want to be back together. Headlining Inumaki Toge, who is half in love with Yuuta and does not know why he’s helping get him together with someone else, and Itadori Yuuji, who is half in love with Megumi and also does not know why he’s helping get him together with someone else.

[s3thwrit3sstuff]

I’ve been super into isekai, reincarnation, and time travel works rn and your gojoyn fic came to mind because it fits really well with the trope lmao

Asshole (cheating) husband ✔️

Traitor Bsf ✔️

Asshole parent ✔️

Tragic life ✔️

Tragic death ✔️

So! Lets say y/n died in the final battle and was transported back in time where he was engaged with Satoru and his mom hadn’t died yet, how do you think y/n would navigate this second chance? What choices would he make differently?

The way I snorted when you ticked off the criteria (Y/N) fit, nonnie 😭

If he was transported back in time to when he was on the cusp of being 18, sickly but alive mother and already wearing the ring with all the knowledge of what’s to come? It honestly might depend but I genuinely think the choices he’d make differently are as follows:

1) He’d tell his mother he’d be alright. Might tell her that she doesn’t need to worry, that he can shoulder this responsibility and that he is happy that despite it all, she was his mother. (Y/N) would stay and hold her hand while she passed, reassuring her.

2) With the knowledge of the humiliation his father will put his mother through by bringing his side-chick to her funeral? He’d genuinely chase her away, and be as threatening as possible (let’s say his headspace from before Shibuya is still prevalent - he has a lot of pent up rage).

3) Satoru. He’d go to the funeral without him and hold his head high. He’d still marry Satoru. If he wants power, he will need that surname whether he wants it or not.

5) He was already very involved in the politics of the Sorcerer Clans in Japan and outside of it, his name now has power and you will bet he will use it in favour of his goddamn family.

6) Kento. Oh, Kento. Such a nobleman. He would never get into the bed of a married man and take him. But fuck does (Y/N) wish he would. He understands that Kento needs time to find his footing in the world but he hopes in this life he will be more honest.

7) Tsumiki. Megumi. His children. He refrains from showering them with too much familiarity or affection - but he can’t hide how much he loves them.

“Your children need you, Satoru.” He’d say. He would destroy the world if it meant they’d be happy but for now, (Y/N) wants them to spend as much together as they can.

8) Would not be a virgin for 10 years of his adult life, lmao. When Satoru initiates? He reciprocates. If he knows what’ll happen then, might as well try and see if Satoru truly did love him enough to keep their first time with only his husband in mind.

Might hate how much his heart thunders when Satoru touches him (again).

9) “Satoru is looking for me?” Suguru muses. “Wrong Gojo though I suppose as husbands, I do carry out his will,” (Y/N) says from behind the Curse User. When his daughters get into an offensive position, (Y/N) would immediately utter “Divine Flame” and watch as Suguru tells them to stop. Suguru definitely hitches on (Y/N)’s pacifist streak and did not expect him to immediately use Divine Flame - especially towards his daughters.

“Don’t talk, Suguru. Tell them to put those toys away. We should speak.”

“You threaten my daughters - “

“This is a kindness you owe me, you adulterous little bitch.”

(Y/N) wants closure. He will get it from Satoru after today. But now, he wants closure from Suguru. Does he regret what he did? Does he envy (Y/N)? Is he truly a venomous snake in the grass or was it all just teenage emotions and forbidden love pumping through their adolescent brains?

When Suguru feels lightheaded from the tea they had, (Y/N) will slip his eyes shut and sigh, a tear rolling down his cheek as Suguru gasps and feels his mouth frothing up.

“And this is a kindness I owe you, Geto Suguru. Rest easy. I’ll be sure your body remains yours through your death.”

“Divine Flame,” he cups Suguru’s face in his arms and places a kiss on his forehead. He can feel Togatta rushing in, the other curses he had now desperately attempting to manifest into the air.

“Merciful Light.”

Suguru’s daughters will be protected in their jail cell. His cult falls without him - so early in its development too. Satoru does the same. There is no body to be found but he knows Suguru is gone because that’s how tangled their souls are. (Y/N) had done his best to erase any traces of himself at the scene, hoping his husband will be blind to him again.

10) He’d be extremely protective of Tsumiki at this point. Does everything he can to stop her from being cursed. Might even go hunting for Sukuna’s fingers in advance.

11) He’d be way more withdrawn in his plans. It’d worry his children, his husband and his friends.

12) Sets up stepping stones for him to raise in ranks through high society. Ruthless and conniving. He will chase away all his father’s brides and be such a dutiful son when his father falls ill - watching as he breathes in shakily on the hospital bed.

“You’ve said that poison is weak and distrustful. A woman’s game,” the flame in the centre of the room crackles and shines in that beautiful blue. “A wicked weapon. I will not mourn you, this is a sacrifice you must make for your clan. Love has no place in matters of power, father.”

The servants are not allowed to open the concrete door of the room and the hallway lights never flicker on anymore. His father will die in that room, with that candle, and his funeral will hold the ashes of an old dog that used to take care of the (L/N) clan's grounds.

IDK! Honestly, with how intense JJK is and how many people (Y/N) want to protect? If he went back in time, he’d be selfless but with this sharp edge of just pure ruthlessness.

His marriage with Satoru would be the LAST thing on his mind.

Ensuring everyone is safe is a top priority. Especially his family and friends. He understands certain things will need to happen in order for people to be propelled forward - like Yuuta needing that awakening to find the will to fight and protect others: money comes in handy when he has to convince Curse Users to attack the boy or his friends.

Yuuji feels as though he is being watched. When (Y/N) approaches him, he has a feeling the man is not as forthcoming as he makes himself out to be but (Y/N) is nice! Megumi deserves someone like Yuuji in his life - (Y/N) will manifest that boy’s Cursed Technique, one way or another.

Megumi can sense a darkness in his dad. Tsumiki worries about the way he stares off into space as he dices vegetables up.

Satoru has a sinking feeling in his stomach as he finds Suguru’s broken flip phone at the scene of the “fight”. An abandoned warehouse near the docks was destroyed and flattened as remnants of Suguru’s curses were splattered onto the walls. Whoever killed him made sure to not use too much of their Cursed Energy but Satoru shivered when he saw the slivers of (Y/N)’s soul emanating from the dragon curse that lay cut up on the ground.

YN would do just about anything to keep Shibuya from happening. He has divorce papers signed and ready to go for when Megumi is enrolled in Tokyo High, he is excited to greet Kento when he returns to Sorcerer Society; he is preparing for a war no one knows is coming.

If Sukuna managed to crawl out anyways?

It’ll be because (Y/N) had fed his fingers to inmates who’ve done irredeemable damage to another person; Sukuna will come to in a weak body and he’ll grin widely at the sight of his concubine dressed in auspicious silken garments.

And his grin only grows wider when (Y/N) curls his fingers at him.

“My, my, so eager, aren’t you, dearest concubine?”

[tojisun]

Hi, I don’t know if you’re still writing for how we break, but I was wondering if you could write a blurb or one shot about what it’d be like if reader ended up with nanami instead? and what if yuuji was their son (reader and nanami adopted him) and that’s how megumi and toji found reader again? anyway this was just a question so don’t feel pressured to write it or anything, have a nice day!

OMG!!! wait this got me scratching the walls???

unfortunately i dont write for how we break anymore sweetheart :((

how we break was written at the time when i was soooo into gojo (aside from toji) but now??? it feels like nanami is my the one that got away 😭

he wouldve been such a good partner; such a good dad. the way reader would still move on slowly, but idk. with gojo, there was a whole lot of gojo distracting reader from her heartache. but i think with nanami, he’d let her embrace her heartache and be there for her when she, uh, breaks.

gonna scream actually, my mind is envisioning and restructuring the whole series rn 😭

but also i butchered the jjk universe to make that fic make sense :(( yuuji n megumi were childhood friends in some parts; yuujis parents are also alive (bc dear gods that boy deserves a happy life)!! so idk if itd make sense for nanami to adopt yuuji hhhhhd

thank u sm for this food for thought and food for soul, nonnie <33 take care!!

[chuluoyi]

I really feel very bad for Megumi... Please!! let my boy rest!!!! He's already gone through a lot. On top of that, he was possessed by the King of Curses himself, and he (SUKUNA YOU F***!! I'LL KILL YOU ONE DAY WITH MY OWN BARE HANDSSSSS!!!!!!!!) made Megumi kill his only sister (Tsumiki) and his mentor (Gojo).

He's been given a total of 3 (?) Infinite Voids, and I don't know how he's still even alive, my boi!! 😭😭😭. People should calm the f down and let him breathe for God's sake!!!

Imagine your parents left you with your sister alone. Imagine you killed your own sister and your guardian with your own hands. Imagine being infinite voided (I don't know how to term it sorrryyyy!!!!) for 3 (?) times straight!!

I don't understand why people are even hating on Megumi!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'LL KILL YAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL HAAAAAAATEEEEEEERRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

(sorry yall and sorry chu for my outburst...... *proceeds to hide behind the curtain*)

☝🏻yes nonnie i seconded everything you said🥲 those 3 infinite voids… gojo was so shocked back then omg🤧 poor boy has lost everything and he’s alone too… i can’t really fault him for spiralling down😔

ever since sukuna kaisen starts after chapter 236, everything is designed to be against yuji and co, but i still have faith in gege (no matter how small it is💁🏻‍♀️) to give us the deserved conclusion of this manga!! suppose we just have to wait a little longer—i trust megumi will somehow bounce back!! all the parallels—he has asked yuji to save him and in yuji we trust!!✨

[rwqv]

bro mahito was such a good villain like he was the first villain that genuinely pissed me off.,, his writing is soo good i love it so bad but like comeee ONNNN

DADDYJAKU IS CRAZY WORK but i sgree full heartedly

pls im doubling over in pain godd GODDD i luv jjk analyses especially with megumi. no matter how bad i love gojo, megumi will always be my favoeite with his writing. my brother was super annoyed that he kept summoning mahoraga, kept flashbacking to sukuna sayinf "thats kinda a waste of your talents right?" and kept flashbacking to gojo saying hes not using all his potential ... but thats the point!!!!!!!!! hes falling behind compared to yuji and he knows it ... and hes super depressed and hes willing to summon mahoraga so much because he literally does NOT care about his life in the slightest that man actively wants to kill himself... UGHHH AND HIM BEING CALLED POTENTIAL MAN LIKE DID U GUYS EVEN READ SLASH WATCH THE SHOW...... THATS THE POINT hes like a foil of yuji AND a parallel to geto.

yghhh yuji sarcrifuce would tear me apart like i literally gave birth to yuji hes my baby my sonnn ... but i cant lie that would be a great ending

plot twist gojo comes back talking about some "im for real real!" LMFAOOOOOO jk ... as mych as i truth him to come back i think his like character development and arc was at a good enough point for him to die. like nanami's character did seem fully fleshed oht when he died but nobara (at the time) didnt seem that developed when gege killed her. but shes back baby so maybe we'll see more of her (in the remaining 5 chapters ........)

YES OMG UGH the gojo 30 questions was like the smallest glimpse we had of the gojo clan. what do you MEAN his parents are still alive and everythint TELL ME MOREEEUHHH..

did u see getos mom was on the popularity list thing rven tho we've never seen him LMFAOOO i just know shes bad asf

oh my god imb so mad. i wrote up a full lengthy response but i crashed and everythkng got deleted. ill type up what i remember but its pretty bad 😭 i was cooking before it gor deleted

ANYWAYS

i never actually thought of megumi that way holy shit… esp with the fight between toji and him in shibuya… like father: 0 cursed energy, no weapon vs. son: the 10 shadows technique and all his shikigami and he still “lost”. megumi would probably win if he couldve apply himself better. he def feels left behind just like geto did when gojo surpassed him quickly thats horrible

i feel so much more sympathetic to megumi now i feel bad 😢

ALSO ABOUT HOW HES DEPRESSED AND EVERYTHING AND WANTS TO DIE BECAUSE OF SUKUNA INHABITING HIM AND USING MEGUMI AS A WEAPON

i do also think gojos character arc is pretty finished. like i want him to come back but also he feels completed. he was the strongest but he lost (mommyraga saved sukunas ass) . gojo finally did what no one thought could be done, and he could no longer be used as a weapon (not cool yuta 😡) and he died on the same day that geto did + on the most romantic day.. i think gojo should finally truely rest now (with his shitty ass sleeping schedule he needs it)

to add on, gojo killed his best friend and had to watch as his adopted son was used as a weapon to kill him he needs to lay down and sleep. his whole sense of family too is pretty messed up w the clan things and also riko (i think they have a sibling bond but also it seems like he doesnt fully like her but that might just be siblings) and everyone who came close to him died

more things about the clan workings would have been cool too!1 the story only sorta fleshed out zenin but what about kamo? or gojo? like what would gojos parents think about gojo dying and stuff like that? the clans are supposed to be like a big part of jujutsu society but i feel like they barely get any screentime. did he love his parents? did his parents love him? did anyone love him as a kid? how did the clans clash back then?? like PPPLLLEEASSE WHAT ABOUT NORITOSHI AND HIS CLAMMN WHY

my point is gege is leaving so much open like the merger€? more character interactions would definitely allow people to feel better… what about cursed tools backstories? cursed speech clan? international sorcerers? i know everyone was like jjk is dragging on and everything but 5 chapters could not resolve these plotppoints

10 spinoff series with all slice of life fluff now PLS

GETOS MOM WOULD DEF BE A BADDIE all of his genes are from her majestic ahh bro… that nurse kenjaku(geto) relly shows it

OOH MY GOD I THOUGHT I POSTED THIS EARLIER WJOOPS SORRY

[eveningbluemoon]

💭 + childhood + jujutsu politics

Oh I've been itching for this one !! ☺️☺️☺️

(Note: I may have gone overboard.)

Childhood

Kusakabe was born into a non-sorcerer family

The lack of CT also meant it took a little longer for him to be brought to attention to anyone, so he was pretty much a gloomy kid who saw curses and his parents were likely very "oh our kid is so creative^^".

He often skipped school too because of this. Bro was not having it.

Kusakabe liked after class kendo practice and he was the best there, mostly because he was instincitively using ce reinforcement and accidentally embuing ce to his shinai. Unfair advantage from the get go.

At some point, I think he got checked into a hospital for unrelated reasons and a nurse realized he ticked off enough of the "sorcerer checklist" and went to do standard protocol like "hey, so this is what you are, you have higher ce levels, these are curses, etc etc" at around 14 and informed jujutsu society of Kusakabe's existence

Honestly? The lack of CT wasn't very interesting and they considered Kusakabe just kinda... not worth putting into jujutsu high. He was living a pretty normal life now and his prospects of survival in an actual fight were low.

Until he started exorcising curses himself with his shinai from kendo. He did NOT realize he could fight back and man, was it CATHARTIC.

Beat the shit outta the one in his house. At school. Low-level curses but lil Kusakabe was having a blast.

Yeah, jujutsu society were not impressed still, they were CONCERNED. This guy could get himself killed or kill others 😭😭😭 humbled Kusakabe real quick when he realized just how far he could get without CT or a special domain, but you learn from that.

Aside from that, he cares a great deal about his sister. She was there majority of the times he didn't want to get out of bed because the "weird creature no one else can see" was staring him down.

She even made excuses up for their parents.

The two just couldn't be close as they wanted to because of the sheer difference in their worlds. She couldn't see curses, after all.

He would say he had a normal-ish childhood compared to most sorcerers.

Jujutsu Politics

Considering he was the least likely to reach Grade 1 status in his class, and of all sorcerers around that time, I'd say he struggled trying to both prove himself to jujutsu society and accepting he didn't want any of it.

Kusakabe did believe that sorcerers were born to protect non sorcerers, becoming jaded overtime as he watched the bodies of his classmates pile up.

He still believes in it, mildly. He just doesn't want to do it anymore. And he wants to teach his students they shouldn't feel obligated to do so.

He believes it's in the higher ups best interest to make students believe that they should offer up their life for their cause.

Kusakabe also believes the higher ups are fucked in the head but opposing them is not his role, not when he has his sister to look after. Someone else will deal with it.

There is a bit of guilt that comes with looking away from what they're doing, especially the execution orders on students. But he trusts those that can do something ( Gojo ) will ensure it doesn't happen, even if he won't admit it.

Kusakabe will keep accepting missions to exorcise even if he despises that the foundation of jujutsu sorcery is built on the corpses of those that have passed. And man, a lot of those corpses aren't even half his age.

Classes were small to begin with given the rare nature of sorcerers. How is it that there are only few left by graduation?

Kusakabe doesn't like thinking of it anymore. He's alive and he can deal with the guilt, exactly because he's alive. He has a paycheck, he can use it to forget a little.

He doesn't consider sorcerers as heroes at all. He believes he'll die in this field of work before he gets a chance to retire.

If he keeps thinking about that, he'd lose it.

He doesn't want his sister to lose the last of her family and maybe that's all he really needs to think about anymore.

There's times he wishes he could have just passed for a non-sorcerer all those years ago and avoided all this mess.

[rindough]

Hello!! I see your request are open so dont mind if i do<3, can i request a angst headcanon. Where the reader is gojos big sister, who is a very super cool (possibly more powerful than satoru) retired special grade sorcerer and now the head of the gojo clan. Gojo love his big sister very much, basically she is one of the most important and last person he hold on too, when shibuya happen, the reader is the one who got sealed instead like "i love you satoru, quit bitching and finish this. Ill see you soon kid" and that is gojos breaking point.

if you want to changes it is super okay and if you dont feel like it its totally fine too!! Thank youuu

his reaction to witnessing you being captured

•  character(s).  gojo satoru

•  cw.  gn! reader, angst with fluff, platonic / family relationship with mr satoru, manga spoilers, bad family relationships

•  notes.  phew i have never thought of this aspect so thank u roo so much for requesting this 😭😭 it hurts me to write WAIT like it was okay and gradually it becomes painful to write because angst </3 anyways i hope u enjoyed it! thanks for requesting and waiting!!

•  master list!

—  GOJO SATORU

so we all know that in the gojo household, there’s the brother — gojo mf satoru — and that’s all

no YOU ARE WRONG BECAUSE THERE’S ANOTHER ONE, so here comes YOU

it is fairly obvious that the jujutsu world is a fucked up place, and this applies to his reason as to why he cut ties with his family

as the other family member and the older sibling, you had to endure all of these instructions given by your parents, their expectations and the guilt of all the other stuffs that you have done for the sake of your family name

this is where his issue came in, as a kid he doesn’t have a very clear and proper thinking skill, but he’d always looked up to you for being cool and also because you were always supportive and reasonable to him!!

but later as a teenager, he finally understood those nights where he would overhear you and your parents quarrel, he finally understands why you would return from your meetings with a foul mood, why you would go to training often

“don’t let people tell you otherwise ’toru,” he remembered how in awe he was when you circled the dummy with a small ‘red’ using your finger, “we have something others don’t, since we have the upper hand — we must work hard to become the strongest.”

until one day he drops the bomb to you, saying how he couldn’t bear to be in this conflicting family, which to his surprise, you supported him, thus causing the two of you to cut off your ties with them

later when you were much older alongside with him, except that you’re in your early forties, you decided to retire as a sorcerer and instead become a clan leader instead (just that your clan is feared and respected for being the strongest, but looked down for being ‘unethical’ to the higher ups)

in all honesty, satoru finds that the one that should be sitting up there on the throne for being the strongest — should be him, still with the amount of abilities that you’ve mastered while he hasn’t, he had to give his older sibling the credit butthurt satoru smh

and he LOVES to try to taint your reputation... well, just a little

“i heard y/n-san is very strong in this aspect gojo-san-”

“STRONG? HAH they could barely open a pickle jar—” satoru waves his junior off, a scoff leaving his lips as he does so

“... i would rather talk to them than you.” kento spoke coolly before leaving the lounging area

he basically loves you, satoru would go through hell just to protect you and keep you alive if possible

but someone here can be really... stubborn to admitting their respect and love SIGH

now it was october

with urgent calls and meetings, both you and his schedule became hectic, he couldn’t come back home to rest, as he would stay the night in his own dorm in the jujutsu college; on the other hand you were constantly moving around, always entering the house as late as the crack of dawn

definitely there was something up with your brother on the day you meet him face to face among the large group of sorcerers, his hands were clenched, a frown plastered on his lips and the occasional uneven breaths he’d take in

there definitely was something when you hear his quiet grunt, going along the lines of “... should be around here...” and how he would throw a soft smile at your way when you asked him what was wrong, though this didn’t stop your urge from kicking him to shut his annoying ass up

after minutes of surfing above the crowds, the two of you decided to split ways, that is to make finding the cause of this mess easier

you headed to the subway and over time, the more you searched and fought with curses, the more you began to worry. as you flicked your hands to throw curse techniques at your opponents, your mind was shifting from memories to memories 

and landing to that specific few months of him being on edge

what could it be? why would he be like that? who could it be that’s doing all of this—

“yo, y/n-san!”

you snapped at the direction of the voice, that voice belonging to the owner whom you’ve stopped hearing his name for decades

staring at the man now dressed in his monk attire, you took notice of the sewn line across his forehead, thoughts were rushing in your head and yet you remained calm

“suguru.” you muttered, lips flattening at his crooked smile. “or should i say, kenjaku?”

“hm... you are one very smart sorcerer, experienced too.” kenjaku praises, lifts a finger the moment your mouth opens to speak, “this is not what i came here for, i came here... to torture satoru.”

“don’t you dare-”

“who are you?” you refuse to turn to look at your brother given your situation, but with his broken voice, you knew deep down he was crushed upon finding this — finding him. “what the hell are you doing to his body?!”

“satoru, i want you to stop and think-”

“not- y/n!” you were at loss of words, mind trying to comprehend the situation as you helplessly stare back at your own reflection through the glassy orb of the cube

it was futile, he was fast, you were fast, but with the shock from the revival of his best friend and the cursed spirit possessing the dead body, it only delays your reactions

by the time the white-haired man puts his fingers together to prepare for attack, it was too late, the weird goo had already stretched out and engulfed you in a tight position

“y/n?”

eyes staring intently back at his best friend’s, you called out to him. “satoru, listen.”

“any last words, y/n-san?”

“no!”

“time is ticking!”

“just fucking listen to me, alright? quit bitchin’ around and get a grip!” you scolded, head turning a little just to look at your grimacing brother one last time. “i love you, satoru. finish him off... okay?”

it was like a dream — an awful dream that he couldn’t escape especially he sees how the cube had almost swallowed you whole — he hears the small screech in the back of his head growing louder and louder by the second — seeing nothing but dark goo and only a pair of soft blue eyes staring right at him

“i’ll see you soon — kid.”

the cube drops to the ground, his stomach churns and churns and satoru wants to throw up, his head was pulsing to each beat his heart was giving, the tiles on the floor blurred and swirled

he feels it all at once now — now that his one and only family, his hope, his motivation, his support was gone

you were gone

time is nothing in there, he learnt from your lectures; and so was he, he is nothing now he’s failed to save another loved one

satoru stares at the monk before him, his heart drops, he doesn’t care if the monk wields the face of the man he’d once cherished

the band in his head had snapped, and no one can stop his growing rage... no one can stop what he secretly plans to do to that intruder

©  2022 rindough, do not repost or plagiarize.

[seoafin]

do you think megumi and tsumiki aren't close siblings in the manga? otherwise, wouldn't megumi have noted that his sister was acting out of sorts in the latest chapters? i read a meta recently that talked about how the one interaction we see of them is when she throws milk at him and doesn't seem apologetic. do you think that was deliberate in the sense that gege was trying to subvert the woman in fridge trope? anyway, how does this affect your canon understanding of megumi's personality? can't wait for the new fic!!

also, personal question since i'm obsessed with him, how do think gojo would be like in a relationship post kfc breakup in canon? also, in your family au, when do reader and gojo get married?

they are close! while they may not be the type of siblings that tell each other other their innermost secrets, they obviously care about each other. even as children, i'm sure having no parents in the household brought them together as they only could rely on the other. megumi's first thought when gojo approached him was how being a jujutsu sorcerer would affect tsumiki, and even as a six year old her happiness is one of his biggest priorities!! they might not be best friends, but they have a familial bond and they care for each other

keep in mind i haven't read the latest chapters more than i've skimmed over them, but i think it's stated in the chapter that the cursed user inhabiting tsumiki has access to all her memories, and based off that could nearly perfectly replicate her mannerisms and personality, which is what fooled megumi. i think megumi was just so relieved and happy to have found her, it blinded him, and he momentarily forgot about the possibility that it wasn't actually her. once the initial euphoria wore off, it is a possibility that he would've eventually realized it wasn't her! upon realizing tsumiki wasn't tsumiki, he was so devastated that sukuna used that moment to invade his body.

as for your second question i'm not sure i completely understand? to my knowledge, i don't think the fridging women trope necessarily applies because tsumiki is still alive! if tsumiki does end up dying (all to further megumi's character arc) then akutami would definitely be guilty lol ESPECIALLY since nobara died for yuuji's AND he killed off tsukumo yuki 😭

as for that scene, i think it was more to show their contrasting ideologies in how they approach life and see other people. i think tsumiki was very rightfully fed up with megumi's (admittedly immature) way of treating people and obviously as his big sister it falls on her to straighten him up!!! i feel like he was also just Mentally not in a very good place in middle school and full of bitterness and resentment towards everyone. he does undergo a character change from middle school to high school, which the readers can assume is because tsumiki fell victim to a curse. it's the reason why he's trying so hard at being a jujutsu sorcerer, all to help her.

i personally really really like megumi's current character arc as much as i dislike the culling games. his resolved has hardened and he knows what he has to do. there's no more room for doubt, only survival. furthermore, he's growing at an exponential rate, and at this point in the manga the sky's the limit since the mental barrier he's imposed on himself is gone and i really can't wait for him to develop more although the events in the manga are.....yeah 😭 i also think the events of the manga so far have shown us that megumi is indeed ready to put the people he cares about over the greater good. god i hope he and yuuji and tsumiki make it out of the culling games alive!!!!

personal opinion: i don't think gojo is ready for a relationship immediate post-kfc breakup although i can see him rushing into one as a result of it haha

uhhhh i think rip!mc and gojo get married arounddddd 22????? sorry rip!mc that's so unfeminist of me 😫😫😫😫

[saintobio]

Saaaiint, congrats on finishing SN! This fanfic definitely made my year better! Thank you for all of the effort you put into this masterpiece! To the GojoY/n shippers out there, there's still hope!!! 🥲

Things I'd like to clarify/ask/say:

1. The scene where y/n ended up getting cold feet, was she remembering her first marriage? Was she thinking that it'd end up like the first one? I just wasn't sure if I read that correctly.

2. Which of the characters ship GojoY/n? TojiY/n? Or Y/n's happiness? What about you 👀? I'm curious as to what the numbers look like...

3. I had a feeling Gojo would be wearing his ring even after the divorce, and yet it still hurts 🥺 then you just had to make him reach for Y/n's ring right on his deathbed 🥲

4. You definitely foreshadowed the car accident when he was speeding on the way home to reconcile with Y/n didn't you (after the company's anniversary)??? That was the first thing that popped in my head when he was speeding before the accident!

5. Did Toji ever feel like he was being compared to Gojo during his relationship with Y/n? Has she ever subconsciously thought of Gojo during those times spent with Toji??

6. I'm glad munchkin is still alive co-parent au when 😩??? What's his name? Sachiro, pls let it be Sachiro 🥺

7. I didn't think you'd go for the amnesia route! I was hoping you wouldn't, and now we're back to square one 😞 Darn it Gojo! And he didn't want to end up hating the love of his life AGAIN too 😢

8. Miwa and Yuuta?? What about my mans Kokichi Muta, my fav ship btw 👀 tbh I thought Yuuta would be paired up with Maki or Rika (since this is an au), I'm assuming Mai would be the LGBTQ pairing since it's been kind of hinted in canon?

9. Going back to the first part of #5, lowkey feeling that Toji thinks Y/n still loves Gojo that's why he set up the meeting before the wedding...

10. Really hoping SN2 gets better for the main couple 🥺 I'm guessing the title's Sincerely Yours since it's been emphasized in the last paragraph? Hopefully it doesn't end with one of them dying 😭

Once again thank you Saint for giving us this masterpiece! I hope you'll get some well-deserved rest. Stay healthy and safe!

1. yes, she was. she’s having mad flashbacks of her marriage with gojo.

2. the zen’ins obvs want tojixyn, while the rest are gojoxyn. her dad is fine w anyone as long as she’s happy and won’t be treated like shit by the other person. as for me, i’m gojoxyn

3. the ring is the last piece of yn that he has.

4. aaah, it was unintentional but good catch :D

5. he does, but he honestly does the same thing so. yn oftentimes think of gojo when it comes to her relationship w toji, while toji thinks of his first wife while spending time with yn.

6. i’m really planning to use sachiro, i think sensei off duty!gojo won’t mind hehe

7. amnesia trope brings the perfect recipe for angst ;)

8. i didn’t wanna introduce more characters. besides, role-wise yuuta and miwa are cute

9. he does. he’ll explain it in the sequel

10. great job, u guessed the title <33

thank you very much as well for reading sn !! i hope u enjoyed the ride :’)

[gojoest]

I just read a post that said satorus type is someone who hates him and it’s absolutely necessary for him to fall in love with 😭

Tbh I couldn’t disagree more... Since everyone more or less hates gojo and only gives him attention/respect for his technique and ability. If someone were to hate him I believe he would be indifferent to that since he’s so used to it, and go like “oh that’s the expected reaction”

People ignoring, dissing, and finding him annoying. For example utahime, the higher ups, yaga? etc.. is the typical norm for him and I believe he would fall for someone who would treat him kindly, understand, and see him for him like how he deserves <3

Someone who disregards his position and loves him for his kind, genuine, silly self is the type of person satoru would find comforting and would be drawn to imo and not someone who hates and utterly despises him since that’s just so cruel and sad lol

What’s your take on this ai?.. 👀 Hope you’re having a lovely day btw!! 💕💕💕

i don’t necessarily agree one hundred percent but i can see where they’re coming from, maybe? bc satoru loves a challenge and it actually makes a great enemies to lovers (my beloved) <3 like, if he tries to win you over just to prove a point that he can in fact do anything he tries his hand at — that if he tries hard enough even you will fall for his charms, but then ends up falling for you himself in the process bc the constant arguing turns him on so much and he then tries to make you even more mad just to see all of your heated sides and pissed off reactions, it gets him off ngl. i can totally see it in that kind of light :>

like even with suguru, they were often butting heads but they understood each other like nobody else. i don’t think utahime hates him, they’re just in constant playful banter with each other, or more like it’s one-sided bc satoru pokes on her a lot and she just can’t rly take it that well, hence why he keeps going at it even harder bc her reactions are so fun yk jkdhsdsk and with yaga too, he’s one of the few satoru respects and perhaps he’s the closest thing to a parent figure. i still think back at that scene where satoru lets yaga “punish him” and doesn’t turn on his ct after yuuji is revealed to be alive and….it’s like a parent scolding their child for messing around too much, it was heartwarming to me idk ;-;

for the rest you’re right, he just needs to find home in someone where it doesn’t matter how he’s dressed or what he does or what ppl think of him, someone that will shelter him and keep him warm no matter what, be a home to him 🤍

[fgojous]

Gojoxreader something about forbidden love then one of them dies

23:45

"but i can't have you, we're bound to break and our hands are tied."

+ pairings. gojo satoru x f!reader

+ tags. romance, fantasy, heavy angst, major character death, mentions of death, depression, forbidden love trope, stepcest, unrequited love, mentions of sex, smoking, drinking, modern au, all in all it's just sad shit that i enjoyed writing becos *coughs* heavy angst

+ word count. 16.7k

+ note. okay i've been writing this for days. i told myself that this would be just 5k words or maybe less but, it's heavy angst so i went all out 😭 and forbidden love is one of my favorite tropes soooooo yeah, and anon thank u sm for requesting this <3 hihihi i hope u guys love this :<

the summary and some parts was inspired from the song rewrite the stars, i thought it just fits so there hehe

ur feedbacks are always appreciated, love u guys <3

"Satoru."

This was two years ago, you thought.

Why is he in front of you? Is this some kind of dream?

It was all the same. His posture, the way he dressed, how he smiled at your mother, how he looked at you with his cerulean eyes that you have always adored.

You looked at your mother, why isn't she shocked? Why are they smiling and all happy when Satoru died a week ago?

"You know each other already?" your stepfather asked, Satoru shook his head while you remained in shock.

How could this happen? Are you still sleeping?

"No, this is the first time that I saw her."

You tried pinching yourself and digging your fingernails into the palm of your hands but it hurts, so that means that it was real.

Satoru is alive and well, and you go back two years.

Just last night you were crying your eyes out. You are grieving that you lost the man that you have loved so much. The man that made you the happiest in the whole damn universe.

You were grieving because you saw it yourself, how he died. You saw it right before your eyes and now he's here.

"Why don't you show your brother upstairs to his room?" your mother said to you.

They are getting worried because you aren't yourself right now, you can't even begin to process what the hell is happening right at this moment.

Your mother called your name and that's when you snapped out of your thoughts.

"Yeah. Okay.." you stuttered, "Follow me."

Confused, you helped Satoru carry one of his bags and you were the first one to go up the stairs while he followed you.

You already know what happens. He annoys you then you would be pissed off but then you'll get close, you fall in love, you hide your relationship from your parents then he dies.

He. freaking. died.

"What the fuck is this?" you whispered as you walked in the hallway of your second floor towards Satoru's designated room.

"Did you say something?" he walked beside you, you jumped a bit then you stopped walking. You turn to Satoru and then drop his bag off the floor.

The next thing you did caught him off guard. You wrapped your arms around his waist as you lean your head on his chest—sobbing, he doesn't know why the hell are you hugging him at this moment as you cry because he just met you.

But for you? You already know him for two years. You already memorized every part of his gorgeous features.

You already know every move, every gesture and every meaning behind the things that he does.

You memorized all of him, you loved all of Satoru.

"Are you real?" you said half coherently, your sobs were covering up the things that you were saying.

Still baffled, he reciprocated your hug because you were crying so hard. He can almost feel the anguish in your weeping, he taps your back gently over and over as he try to find the words to comfort you, "It's alright.."

You tighten your hug.

It has been a week since you lost Satoru and all you wanted is to embrace him again, like this. You thought you would never get to do that again but the universe must be losing one of its screws right now.

You pulled away from him, you looked at his eyes as you wiped your tears. "How is this happening?"

He frowned as he gave you a bit of a confused smile, "Uhm... your mother is marrying my father. That's how, I guess?"

He's confused as hell, he had no single bit of a clue as to why you were acting this way.

"Oh.. yeah." You sighed as you picked his bag back up again, you walked first into his room and placed his bag on the bed. "Here's your room."

"Thank y-" he didn't even finish thanking you because you just walked out of his room, you kind of weirded him out because you just cried on his chest and then suddenly acted like you were straight from the freezer.

You entered your room and everything was in place. It seems like yesterday all of your things are scattered around your room because you were so inconsolable about his death that you don't have the time to tidy up your room.

You threw yourself on the bed, maybe if you sleep you would wake up from this ridiculously real but very impossible dream.

"This is Satoru and he's your new brother." your mother said as she smiled. You looked intently at the white-haired man in front of you, he is freakishly tall, he has blue eyes and white eyelashes. You raised your eyebrow for a bit then you let out a smile.

"Nice meeting you, Satoru." you said sweetly. "I hope we get along."

He gave you a wide smile, "You too."

Your mother tapped your shoulder causing you to turn to her, "Why don't you show your brother upstairs to his room?"

"Of course, follow me." you tell him as you go up, Satoru follows you.

He walked beside you once you stepped on the second floor, "So, I guess we're siblings? I mean step because you know we aren't related by blood. It'd be nice if we really got along-"

You turned to him and stopped him from talking, "You look like you're an annoying prick."

He raised his eyebrow but then he gave you a laugh, "Oh-ho. Showing your true colors now, are you?"

He knew it, earlier, was just piss poor acting. It's a bummer because he was hoping to get along with you since you looked nice and innocent and he was excited because he'd be having a sister to annoy.

"Okay. For your information, I don't want to get along with you but I have no choice because it's for my mom because truth be told, I don't like any of this. I already have a father and I don't get why she is with your father instead of patching things up with my dad."

You frowned when Satoru messed your hair, "You don't have a choice, darling. And my father's a nice guy, why don't you give this family a chance?"

You let out a bitter laugh, "Family my ass."

You slept for hours until dinner time came, you heard someone knock on your door and you opened the door still half-asleep. "Dad said to come and get you."

Your eyes instantly opened as wide as they could when you heard his voice, so it isn't a dream.

Satoru's still here.

"Give me a minute and I'll come down." you told him as you closed the door on him.

Satoru's still confused as to why you embraced him and then cried on his chest but he'd let it go because he thought that you were going through something.

Well, you are. You were mourning his death.

You don't know what to feel now. You were filled with agony that you lost the love of your life and you keep on thinking that you'd give and do everything just to hold him close again.

Maybe this is the universe giving you a chance. You keep telling yourself that it is impossible but it is happening.

He's alive again. You get to talk to him again.

You get to see your Satoru again.

But what's the catch? Yeah, he's alive but you doubt the universe would grant you this big and did you already say impossible wish without having repercussions?

You were happy but you were getting stressed so you walked towards your bookshelf and got the safe box that was disguised as a book and got the box of cigarettes inside.

You smiled, everything was placed the way it was two years ago.

You quit smoking when you got together with Satoru but this bizarre situation calls for a smoke right now.

You were about to place the safe box on the shelf again when you saw some weird white book that you don't remember having.

Your brows furrowed, you placed the cigarette stick down and got the white book. It was blank, the cover was just white with no text in it.

You opened it and there was a text on the first page.

Rewrite what was written on the stars.

"What..?"

Desist the sequence of events that would lead to his demise.

Rewrite what and the desist what?

You figured that it has something to do with what was happening right now. It said, "Rewrite what was written on the stars..."

You laid on your bed as you looked at the ceiling, "Rewrite? Is that why I travelled back two years ago?"

You drowned yourself in your thoughts, figuring out what the words meant and who the hell is doing this.

Is it some kind of prank but then why and how did you travel two years ago?

So, I need to change what happened in the past two years so that Satoru wouldn't die?

You got the book again and frowned, and additional words were added on the first page. It was written in some symbols that you swear you have seen before but you can't point where.

What in the sorcery is this?

You remembered, you liked reading some ancient things when you were a kid with your dad— he even got you some books about ancient letters and stuff but then you stopped reading it when he left.

You stood up from your bed and searched your bookshelf until you saw the dusty old book. You know that there is a list of ancient letters in here. You just need to match each symbol to its corresponding letters.

Alright, Nancy Drew. You need to do some solving.

You got some pen and paper from your desk and then you matched each symbol and letters until you form a sentence on the piece of paper.

Each letter that you wrote weighs a ton in your heart when you form the letter that you were writing into words and once you finished writing it, you felt like all the strings in your heart snapped into two.

You read it out loud, "Do not make him fall in love with you anymore..."

You knew it, you fucking knew it.

You don't want to live a life without him loving you now that you know how it felt when you were loved by Satoru.

But what's important is that he's alive, right?

You can do it, you can shove your feelings down and pretend that you don't love him with every bit of your being. You can be oblivious to the growing affliction that was planted in your heart.

You heard a knock on the door once again and it opened, revealing the person that is and always will be the object of your affection. "They're wondering what's taking you so long- are you reading?"

You immediately closed the books and wiped the bit of tears that were falling from your eyes. "I'm coming down."

"You said that minutes ago. Your mom said to tell you that the food was getting cold and it wouldn't eat itself." he said as he chuckled.

You just scoffed and tried to avoid looking at him but then it really is hard considering that Satoru is now looking around your room.

You bit your lip to stop from smiling, you knew that Satoru was kind of snoopy. It is the reason why you were annoyed with him for a few months.

You don't even know why you fell for him.

He was smug. He annoyed the hell out of you but regardless, he made you laugh with all the silly things that he did.

He understood your feelings more than anyone. He was there for you whenever you needed somebody.

What hurts is that you know you can never let that happen again. He is right there but you can never be with him.

"Who said you can look around?" you said as you stood up from your bed, raising your eyebrow at him.

"Pfft. Come on," he walked towards you and placed his arm above your shoulder, "I just wanted to look at my new sister's room."

"I'm not your sister." you said as you removed his arm. "We're not related, dumb ass. Your dad's just marrying my mom."

"Then that makes you my sister, dumb ass." he mocked you and placed his arm on your shoulders again and dragged you out of your room.

You wanted Satoru's touch more than anything in this world but you know that this, the touching and being close to him can't happen anymore.

"Don't touch me, we aren't close." you said as you removed his arm again.

"Says the one who hugged and cried to me earlier."

You are painfully aware of the fact that you did that and you just need some excuse to tell him why you did that.

"I was being crazy."

Lame ass excuse.

"You don't say." he said in a sarcastic and kind of amused way.

"Just don't talk to me." you said as you went down the stairs.

"Why?"

You didn't answer him and just left him on the stairs.

Because I'm trying not to touch and kiss you because I freaking miss you so much.

...

It has been a few weeks since the time restarted and so far? It was going so hard and painful.

It wasn't easy. Seeing the person you love but can't do anything about it.

You can't even tell him how much you love him. All that you can do is to watch him and be grateful that he is alive.

Your pain is nothing. You preferred to be hurt like this instead of living in a world where Satoru doesn't exist. Loving him in silence is enough for you.

"Can I come in?"

"No! Go away-"

"Too late. I'm already in." he said as he walked towards you, you felt Satoru sitting comfortably on your bed as if it was his own.

"Who the fuck told you to go inside my room and sit on my bed?" you said as you turned your head to his direction, you threw him your daggers and knowing him, he wasn't fazed.

"I heard your screaming match, you are grounded, huh?"

Yeah, funny. You are a twenty year old who still gets grounded by your mother.

"Get the fuck out." you said as you covered yourself with your blanket.

Satoru probably heard that you didn't want him and his father in your house and you're wondering why he's still nice to you when you have been shit to him all this time.

You feel him tap your back, "So, what is your problem with me or my dad?"

You groaned as you removed your blanket, you turned to your side to look at Satoru who is now lying on his side, looking at you as he rested his head on his palm.

"Getting comfortable, are you now?" you said with your brows furrowed. "I'll count to three and if you aren't out of my bed then I'll..."

"You'll what?"

"One.." you started, Satoru just stared at you with his cocky grin, doubting that you'll do anything.

"Two, three." you counted faster and that's when you kicked him out of your bed, literally kicked.

You heard a loud sound when he fell on the floor and next to that was his whining as he winced in pain.

"Stop whining like a child and get out of my room." you said as you covered yourself in your blanket again.

"You're mean." he said while pouting as he caressed his butt. "My butt hurts."

"And? Is it my fault you annoying prick?"

"You kicked me!"

"Cry about it crybaby."

"Satoru. He's your brother?" you heard your friend Yuna asked you, you look at her and to her line of sight— she is looking at him. "He looks so.. hmm, handsome."

Yeah, you know.

"He isn't my brother." you said as you continue on reading your book.

Satoru studies at the same university as you are, of course. You are currently sitting at your usual place with your friends and kind of your make out spot after classes when you were together, you both got some balls on you two, you know.

Making out under the tree near the field? So wrong.

Making out under the tree near the field with your stepbrother? Extremely wrong.

But you didn't care because you were crazy for each other.

"Okay. Do you think I could get his number?"

No.

"Go for it."

As much as it sends stabbing pains in your heart, maybe getting Satoru with another woman would change everything.

Seeing him alive and happy is enough for you to get on with your life. You can move on— just not now, it would take too long to get over him because he is your greatest love but you will.

Your friend excitedly stands up and fixes herself before heading to where Satoru is with his friends.

You just wanted to laugh at yourself, you were getting hurt and you can't even take your eyes off them as they exchanged their numbers.

Satoru turned his head to look at your direction, he gave you a smile but you just looked away and turned your attention to your book.

You leaned on the tree and closed the book along with your eyes. All of what is left to you was the memories of you and Satoru, and it was so beautiful but what hurts is it only lives in your mind now because he can't even remember any of it.

You would have to live in a world where you have these blithesome memories and no one to share it with.

"Hey. Wake up."

"What the hell do you want Gojo Satoru? I swear I will kill you if you woke me up for no reason at all." you said continuously without even opening your eyes because you just know who that voice belongs to.

"I'll sneak you out." you heard him say.

You were still grounded and that means you can't go out and party with your friends which is ridiculous because you're an adult already.

"Are you crazy?" you opened your eyes and looked at him, you looked at the clock and it was 11:45 in the evening.

Your mom and his dad are still wide awake watching their favorite show downstairs.

"I thought you wanted to go out with your friends? I heard you tell your mom that you even bought a dress for that party."

"Yeah. I did- Can you stop listening in on our conversations?"

Satoru laughed, "I wasn't listening. May I remind you that you were both shouting that's why I heard you say that?"

You just rolled your eyes at him as you sat on your bed. Why is he doing this?

Why is he being nice to you even though you are treating him badly?

"Would you really sneak me out?"

"Yep. Jump that window and I'll catch you."

"What?!"

"Your friend asked me out." Satoru said as he walked with you.

"Yeah. I know, I told her to go for it since she's been ogling you ever since you transferred."

You didn't mean to sound so jealous but can you blame yourself?

Satoru noticed the tone in your voice, he just hummed as he walked beside you, "Is she nice?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want me to go out with her?"

You stopped walking because of his question, if you say no would he still date her?

Why would he even ask you that? Is it that obvious that you are so in love with him?

"Why would you ask me that?" you scoffed as you walked again, "Go out with her for all I care."

You have got to stop sounding jealous.

"Okay, I won't." he said as he gave you his billion dollar smile.

You sighed and stopped walking, you turned to him and looked straight into his eyes. You wanted to say that Okay, don't go out with her and be with me.

"Then why the hell do you even get her number if you won't go out with her, you jerk? I didn't say anything so go do what you want. You shouldn't be asking me that question because it's your decision."

Satoru just looked at you with mirth as he let you babble on, he doesn't even know why but being with you gives him comfort, even though you are being mean to him.

He feels like he knows you even though he has only been living with you for a few weeks.

But despite the things that you are making him feel, confusion is what's on his mind. You sound like you don't want him to go out with your friend but you are urging him.

He sighed and surrendered, "Okay. I will."

It was just words but it crushed you inside. You wanted to hear the three words, the three words that make you so happy that you feel you are floating.

Not these three words that made you feel your heart was being stomped on too many times.

"Good." you said as you try to speak with your voice cracking, "Enjoy."

"You told me that you would sneak me out but you didn't tell me that you'd be coming with me."

"You think I'd let you go out alone in the middle of the night?" he answered as you both walked inside your friend's house filled with wasted people inside.

Satoru's father knows that he sneaked you out and asked him to go with you, though he'd still go with you even if his father doesn't ask him to.

"Fine. But don't tag along with me."

"You really don't like me, huh?"

You didn't answer him. It's not that you don't like him or his father. You just have your reasons.

You just went to your friends' direction. Satoru just watched you drink your ass off with them, though it is kind of hard to keep track of you with all the women who were trying to flirt with him.

Finally, you looked in his direction. You frown as you try to understand what he's mouthing to you.

The neon lights and the loud music isn't helping plus, your mind is also kind of hazy because of all the liquor that you ingested.

"What?" you mouthed back.

He just gestured for you to come to his direction, you clicked your tongue as you put your drink down on the table. You went in his direction. "What do you want, prick?"

"Let's go home." he said as he reached for your hand and not giving you the time to protest as he dragged you out of your friend's house.

"Let go of me." you said with a crystal clear hint of annoyance in your voice.

"No. We're going home. You are drunk and I don't want to get scolded."

Satoru doesn't give a shit if his father or even your mother chastises him, he just can't take the guys who were trying to touch you and talk to you. He thought that maybe it was an instinctive brotherly thing.

He doesn't know. He was just pissed out of his mind.

"I hate you." you mumbled as you squirm your arm out of his touch.

Satoru just smiles at you as he messes with your hair, "Do you really?"

"No." you answered while you walked with him to where he parked his car. "Don't get me wrong, you are annoying as fuck but I don't hate you and your dad."

"Okay. You are drunk." he said as he opened the car door for you, you sat on the passenger's seat and Satoru bent down to fasten your seatbelt for you.

Satoru's scent grazed under your nose and you got to say, it was much more intoxicating than the alcohol that you drank.

You just looked at his face as he fixed your seatbelt, he looked at you when he felt you touch his hair. "Did you dye your hair or it's naturally white?"

"It's natural." he said while looking at your eyes and you look down for a bit and you also notice that his lips were rosy.

"Are your lips naturally this rosy or do you put lip balm on?"

Satoru snickered at your questions. You aren't this talkative especially with him so he thought you really were drunk and it was a great decision to take you home.

But it was funny seeing you like this, he thought that you were cute, as he would put it.

"Don't laugh. Answer me."

"I put something on." he answered you and got some small lip balm in his pocket, "Here."

"What flavor is this? Does it have a flavor?" you asked, "Can I try it on? Put some on me."

He chuckled when you closed your eyes and pouted your lips. It looked like you were asking for a kiss, he thought but then he shrugged it off because you know why.

He opened the cap and you felt his pinky finger, spreading the lip balm on your lips. He looked at your face and he felt like something jumped inside his chest.

He let out a deep breath and ignored it, it was probably nothing.

"There." he said, causing you to open your eyes, you licked your lips and frowned.

"I can't taste it." he just chuckled at you and pulled himself up, he closed the door on your seat and circled around his car to get on the driver's seat. "Satoru, why can't I taste it?"

You asked one more time once he got inside the car, he turned to you and held your chin in between his fingers. "Open your mouth, let's see."

You rolled your eyes but then you obeyed him, he acted like he was checking every part of your mouth but then his eyes widened, "Oh... your tongue is missing."

You clicked your tongue as you gave him a slight smack in the head, "I might be drunk but I'm not stupid you annoying ass."

You throw yourself at your bed as you stare at your ceiling, you are crying again.

How could you not when you are the one pushing the love of your life to fall in love with somebody else?

You got your pillow and pressed it to your face as you screamed to your heart's content— until your screams were replaced with painful sobs, you tighten your grip on your pillow. "I miss you. I miss you so much."

You stopped crying when you heard your mother knock on your door. "Are you there?"

"Yeah, wait a minute." you answered and immediately fixed yourself.

You wouldn't want your mother to see you in a state like this, you looked like a mess. You were devastated on the inside and well, on the outside too.

After you neaten yourself, you opened the door and it revealed your mother. You frowned, this was the exact scene before you had that screaming match that got you grounded two years ago.

"Were you crying?"

You try as much as possible to remember what was the first thing she told you that time but you swear that that was the thing she asked you last time.

Because it is, you were crying before because of your father and now you are crying because of Satoru.

"No. I was not." you answered, "I have to do something, mom. Do you need something?"

All you need to do is to rewrite and avoid the things that would lead to making Satoru fall in love with you.

The time that your mother grounded you was the time that Satoru comforted you the most, he even helped you sneak out. All you need to do is change what happened in here so what happened to that party wouldn't happen again.

Because you surmised that, that's how things began for you and him. When you opened up yourself to him.

You need to avoid that now.

"I just need to make sure that you are okay with them moving in. I know you think that it was sudden but... you understand, right?"

"No, mom. I don't understand. I don't want them here! Do you get it? You never tried fixing things with dad! You never patched things up and just left him! Did you even think about me?!"

You walked towards your mother and wrapped your arms around her as you rested your chin on her shoulders, "I understand, mom. If you are happy then I am."

You heard your mother sigh in relief. She hugged you back and kissed the side of your head as she caressed your hair, "I knew you would understand. Thank you, honey."

Perhaps, this was also the universe giving you a chance to do right by your mother.

You were awful to her for finding the one who truly loved her, this is your chance to make things right.

"Oh, mom." you pulled away, "I'll be going to a party at Hana's next week. I just thought you should know."

She gave you a hum of approval and tapped your shoulders gently, "Of course."

You changed it.

There was no yelling at each other, no one's getting grounded and now Satoru wouldn't try to do his best in comforting you. That means he wouldn't sneak you out this time.

He'll live. You know it.

You would do everything for him to live even if you were hurting in the process.

"This isn't home." you said once Satoru pulled up in front of a diner.

"You need to sober up first. I won't take you home in that state." Satoru answered as he removed his seatbelt and the next was yours, "Come on."

He opened the car door and laid his hand for you, "You know you are being a gentleman but you are still annoying me, why is that?"

"It's my innate power to annoy people, I guess." he jokingly answered, making you laugh.

"Oh yeah. That makes sense."

"I was just kidding."

You ignored Satoru and walked into the diner first. You got into one of the seats because your head was spinning though you are getting a bit sober now.

"Can I have some?" Satoru asked you once you got your order.

You rolled your eyes, he had the chance to order some fries and he didn't, now he's asking for yours?

"Uh-uh. You should've ordered yours." you protected the plate of fries using your arms and when he tried to get on you swatted his hand. "I said no."

"You know you're too mean, right?"

"And what about it?" you raised your eyebrow. Instead of hating you because of your crappy attitude towards him, he finds you amusing.

He enjoyed annoying and teasing you these past few weeks, sometimes so much that you were too close to throw all the books on your shelf— no, scratch that. Sometimes you thought of throwing him the whole shelf instead.

"You know you remind me of someone." he started, you just frowned at him indicating that you were letting him speak because you were too busy eating your burger, "You remind me of myself."

You snorted as you swallowed your food first before answering him, "Am I... irritating too?"

"You reminded me of myself when my dad met your mom the first time." he smiled at you, "It felt like he moved on too fast from my mom and she was already dead three years after they met. I was shitty to him because I wasn't ready for him to move on."

The other reason that Satoru isn't hostile towards you even though you are to him is because he understood what you are going through.

"But it's not up to us you know? We don't get to choose who is that someone that they get to love. All we can do is be happy for them because they are happy. They grieved and they moved on, but it doesn't mean that they would forget about the person who made them happy too."

You bit your lip as you put your food down, you took a deep breath before answering him. "You think I don't know that? You think I don't feel bad that I was being shit to my mom.. and to your dad?"

You know that someday you'd have to accept it.

But ever since your parents separated, the hope of them getting back together didn't leave your heart. You were complete and you were happy— or so you thought.

They weren't happy and you realized that growing up. They just pulled it together for you and finally had the guts to leave each other when you were getting a bit aware of everything.

"Do you think I am a bad person?" you asked him, his face was filled with awe when he saw you started crying. He stood up and sat on the chair beside you— wrapping his arms around your shoulder as he pulled you close to him.

You didn't expect for him to hug you like this but it gave you comfort. This is the first time that you get to spill your feelings to somebody.

You never open stuff like this to your friends because you don't want to burden them with your problems, they already have their own.

It was odd because it gave you assurance that Satoru was the first person you cried to. It just felt safe in his arms.

It was funny because you thought that he was the last person you'd run to when you are in pain. You always thought it was your mother but she doesn't want you to cry about your father, hence, the screaming match you two had.

"I don't think you are. You are just hurting. You are still processing things and that's alright." he said as he caressed your hair. "You have plenty of time to make it right and you can start by being nice to me."

You wiped your tears and playfully smacked him in the chest. "Ha-ha. Okay."

"Going to a party?" Satoru asked you as he peered at your bedroom door, "Hana's party perhaps?"

You frowned, "How did you know?"

"Yuna invited me to go with her. You want to go together? I mean, we'd have to fetch her first if that's alright?"

Satoru isn't supposed to go to this party because he already did the last time and look what happened— he brought you to that diner, however, he'd be going with Yuna. That's different, right?

It changed. You figured that he'd focus all of his attention on Yuna and not you.

"Sure." you answered and went on putting your makeup.

He'd be going with Yuna, you'd be lying if you say that you aren't hurting but what can you do? But your feelings aren't important now, his life is.

...

"No. I want this." you said as you got the CD from the pile. "We will watch this."

He hummed and clicked his tongue as he got the CD from you, "No. I already know what happened there, the girl dies in the end."

You glared at him. You have wanted to watch that movie for a long time and now he just spoiled you big time. "I fucking hate you."

"Language." you heard your mother say as she walked to the living room carrying a huge bowl of popcorn. "Did you two choose already?"

You purse your lips as you sit on the couch while Satoru sits on the floor.

"Not this one because Satoru just spoiled it for me." you threw the CD on the pile, you nudged Satoru on his shoulder with your feet, "You choose. You win. I don't care."

He lets out his annoying laugh as he puts the disk inside the player. Great, he chose the scary one.

Your mom and his dad were sitting on the big couch and you two were sitting on the settee.

You aren't a big fan of scary movies, that's why you are getting kind of uneasy. Your mother wanted a movie night and you remembered what Satoru said a few months ago, that you can start making things right.

And you started by agreeing on 'family' movie night.

It was going well so far and you were able to contain your fear but then Satoru decided to be a freaking nitwit.

"Hey." you looked at him when he called for your name, "Who's that behind your back?"

You jumped and immediately opened the lights. "Mom!"

You don't mean to sound like a child, telling on your mother but that is exactly what you did. Your mother just laughed at you and Satoru's dad rebuked him.

"I was just playing. Sorry." he said as he walked towards you and messed with your hair like it is his favorite thing to do in the world.

And it is, he guesses. It's his favorite thing in the world plus annoying the hell out of you.

But you also let him because getting teased and getting your hair messed up by Satoru was perhaps your favorite thing in the world too.

The movie night is going well and your parents decided to turn in for the night but you both stayed to watch the movie franchise because Satoru forced you to.

It was silent between you two because you were both focused on the movie not until he felt your head on his shoulder.

He removed the strands of hair that was covering your face and just stared at you as you fell into a peaceful slumber, and that's when his lips formed an upward curve.

He doesn't know if has been spending too much time with you but he feels the happiest when he's with you.

He felt charged. He was curious about your whole being, he got this feeling of determination to get to know you better. To protect you and feel your pain or happiness with you.

Is it normal? To feel like that for his supposed stepsister?

He leaned his face closer to yours and much more closer until your lips were a few inches away.

"What the hell am I doing?" he sighed as he paused the movie.

He carefully leaned you on the sofa so that he could stand up. He gently carried you upstairs to your room and tucked you in your bed.

His heart was beating uncontrollably as he looked at your face again but he needed to push it down because your parents are getting married.

He's not supposed to fall for you but you are making it so damned impossible. You aren't doing anything, you just existed and he felt this for you.

Shit just happens, he guess.

He placed a gentle kiss on your forehead and went out of your room.

"This is bad." he whispered, "So fucking bad."

...

The whole car ride to Hana's house was... you don't know, painful? To put it in detail, it was a gut wrenching car ride and all you wanted to do the whole time was to grab your heart inside your chest and maybe stomp on it yourself literally.

You should've taken a cab to Hana's but you didn't, you don't know if you are that stupid or do you just like to hurt yourself like that.

It was hurtful to see Satoru laugh and flirt with another woman, your friend of all people. They try to include you in their conversation but most of their jokes are, you know, more like an inside joke between them.

They're the only people who can relate to it, and all you can do is laugh forcefully as if you aren't dying inside.

You wanted to open it up to your best friend, Ieiri, who you miss very much — but this time you aren't meeting yet or you doubt that you two would even be friends because you and Satoru aren't together anymore.

Shoko knew along with Suguru, which you miss too, because they saw you two under that tree near the field and you don't know how it happened but since then you two were friends with them. You both trust them so they're the only people who really knew the true nature of your relationship.

Not only did you lose Satoru but you also lost these two. You would never meet them if you and Satoru aren't together— and now, you aren't even friends with them. You remember how fun you used to have together, the four of you.

Sometimes, you just want to come up to them and tell them how you missed them but you didn't want for them to think that you were weird. The last time that you saw them were in Satoru's funeral, because you didn't want to see anybody when he died.

You pass by Shoko sometimes in the hallway and you wanted to smile at her but then you fold.

Now, all you can do is drown yourself into innumerable alcoholic drinks but somehow, instead of getting light-headed and free— you feel your chest tighten more and more.

Your head was clouded with the thoughts of Satoru and Yuna, who is by the way flaunting their relationship or whatever that is in front of you.

You just want to pull Yuna out of Satoru's lap and just throw her outside.

"Fuck this." you whispered as you stood up from the couch and you probably had too much to drink that you were close to falling but you still managed.

You walked into the balcony and got some cigarette from your close acquaintance.

You were about to light it up but then someone snatched it from your mouth. You turned to that person. "Does your mom know?"

"No." you answered, you can't be mad at him. You know he doesn't like it when someone he cares about smokes. "Would you tell on me?"

"No but don't get near that thing again." he answered and leaned his back on the railings, he looked at your face and he noticed how distressed you looked. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Where's Yuna?" you asked and didn't even bother to hide the bitterness in your groggy voice.

"She's talking to someone." he said, "Are you really okay? Do you want to go home?"

Are you okay? Of course not. You forgot what it feels like to be alright. You just want everything to be okay, you want Satoru but this world is unfair. You know you can't have it all.

...

Satoru is odd today. In fact, he has been for a week. He wasn't his usual self. He isn't making his usual stupid jokes and irritating the hell out of you.

But that's what you want, right? Him, not to annoy the living hell out of you for once. However, the thing is— you were used to it already.

Your day feels incomplete when he's not the one banging on your door every morning to wake you up. It isn't complete without him talking to you non-stop as he drives you both to the uni or when you two are singing to the song that's playing on the radio.

Did you do something wrong?

You were just looking outside the window as Satoru drove, contemplating whether to talk to him or not.

You sighed as you turned to look at him, you were about to speak but then your mind suddenly went blank and looked at the window again.

Satoru can see you from his peripheral vision, he knows that you must be confused by the way that he's acting.

But ever since that movie night, his mind was going crazy along with the undeniably fast beating of his heart whenever you are around.

He knows that he needs to stop what he feels before it gets deeper.

But it irritates you that he isn't irritating you. You wanted him to talk to you just like he used to.

It's irking, you thought. You don't want to admit it but you are actually missing him.

You are missing Satoru and he is right there.

Why in the hell would you feel that way for him?

Is he tired of you being mean to him? You thought you both established that it was just your way to joke around him?

Are you too much? Do you need to be nicer to him?

"For fuck's sake would just tell me what did I do?!" you snapped and looked at him.

You can't think too much, it drives you really crazy.

On the other hand, Satoru was startled by your sudden movement. He maneuvered the car into the side and looked at you. "What the fuck was that? Are you trying to get us killed?"

"Sorry." you said with a low voice, "But what the hell is wrong with you? Are you avoiding me? What did I do?"

"You did nothing. Okay? Just... I need to- nothing. Just shut up." he said as he looked away from you and was about to drive again but you stopped him.

"We aren't moving unless you tell me what the hell is wrong with you." you said while holding his hand, just to stop him from driving.

It was just simple hand touching but he felt like his heart was quivering around instead of pumping normally.

"Satoru." your soft voice made his ears perked up. Your voice and how your lips part whenever you say his name is driving him crazy.

This isn't normal— is what's on his mind. He can't think straight.

"Please? I.." you paused, "I miss you."

That's it.

He took a deep breath as he removed his seatbelt in a haste, grabbing your nape as he gave you a peck on your lips.

Both your pupils dilated at the sudden contact. You just looked at each other not knowing what to do.

"I'm sorry." he broke the silence. He let go of your nape and fastened his seatbelt as he drove once again.

You just looked outside the window as you subconsciously touched your lips.

You must be crazy because you wanted him to just pull your nape again and kiss you again like that, maybe longer even.

...

All day.

The only thing on your mind the whole day was Satoru kissing you. Thankfully, he had extra classes today so you wouldn't be going home with him today.

You entered the house and you saw your mother on the living room couch with a bunch of magazines.

"Hey, sweetheart." she greeted you, "Where's Satoru?"

"Huh?" you suddenly panicked.

Oh for fuck's sake, you just heard his name and you went nutsy.

"Where's your brother?"

When you heard that word it felt like something shattered. It vexed you— you also felt that small prick in your heart.

"He had extra classes." you said as you walked to the stairs, but before your foot even touched the first step, you turned to your mother.

You wanted to say that he isn't your brother.

He's not really, right?

Your mother noticed how you were just standing there, "Do you need something?"

"Nothing."

You just let it go.

Your mother might think that there is something going on if you say that, considering that you two have been close these past few weeks.

You did everything you could to forget the scene earlier. You did your tasks, you read a book— no, books. You rolled on your bed, stared at the ceiling and looked outside the window.

But you can't take your mind off that.

You even took a bath to freshen up your mind but Satoru's still there.

It's like he's living in your mind.

You were blow drying your hair until you heard a knock on your door. You turned the blower off and opened the door, revealing the man that occupied your head the whole damn day.

"You're home." you said as you looked at him, it felt like your world lit up.

It was like the whole scene before you was a bright light and the center of it all was Satoru.

"Were you waiting for me?" he asked you and gave you a smile.

"Stop smiling." you said as you went back to your vanity table, Satoru then followed you inside and closed the door.

"Why?"

Because he's making your heart crazy? Because that smile was giving you all sorts of feelings that you feel like falling on your knees? That's why, why did he even ask?

He snatched the blower from your hand and dried your hair himself. You looked at him through the mirror as he combed your hair.

Is he done not talking to you? Is he back to his old self?

"So... you're not avoiding me anymore?" you asked and a simple nod was his answer.

"Satoru." you called his name. He hummed and looked at you in the mirror. "Are you really sorry?"

"For what?"

"For kissing me."

He stopped combing your hair. He turned the blower off and you turned to him, you looked up and you saw him staring at your face.

"I really want to because it's wrong." he answered you, "But I'm not."

He moved his hand to cup your face, thumb caressing your cheeks as he looked straight to your eyes. "Is it bad?"

"I want you to do that again. Is it bad?" you returned the question. He just stared at you with his ocean blue eyes, calculating every little move your face makes.

Memorizing every feature on your gorgeous face so that when he closes his eyes as he kisses you, he'd see your face.

"Satoru-"

He bent down and pressed his lips against yours. You smiled in his mouth as you closed your eyes, hooking your arms on his nape as you stood up.

His other hand held your waist and pulled you closer to him, deepening the kiss that you both shared.

You suddenly felt all your nerves, some fussy things were moving inside your stomach and your heart was racing as if it was in a competition.

Satoru bit and sucked your lips into his mouth causing you to heave a bit, making it possible for him to delve his tongue inside your mouth.

His other hand went from your cheeks to your hair, gripping the strands in between his fingers.

You're supposed to feel guilty but all you feel is your happiness filling inside your heart. You had never felt so charged, so energetic.

It felt like your battery was empty for a long time then this happened.

Satoru knows that doing this means that he's letting himself fall in deep and he knows that nothing, not even your parents can keep him away from you now.

"We're going, come on." Satoru said as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder to guide you.

Still dazed, you swatted his arm and tried to walk yourself, "I can walk."

"You can't." he insisted, you just let him touch you. Just for tonight.

You'll let him touch you. You'll let yourself be close to him again even if it's just for tonight.

"Okay." you mumbled as you leaned on him. You held on tight to him because after tonight, you'll let go of him.

You'll move on. You don't know how the hell you would do that but you'll figure it out.

You were unaware of your surroundings because you were with Satoru, all you know is that he talked to Yuna about something and now you are both walking to his car.

He opened the passenger's seat and supported your head as you entered his car. He bent down to fasten your seatbelt and all you did was to look at his face the entire time.

Disregarding the fact that it wasn't going any differently like the last time— though, you didn't ask him any questions now.

Satoru looked at your face once he was finished, he gave you a smile before closing the door on your side.

He sat on the driver's seat and was about to put his seatbelt on when you held his hand. "Satoru. Gojo Satoru."

"Hmm?" he turned his head to you, you gave him a smile as you cupped his cheeks, he held your hand that was on his face.

"You know..." you started, "You look like someone."

Satoru frowned for a bit but then he asked you, "Who?"

"The man that I love." you said as you pulled your hand away from his face as you lean your back on your seat, closing your eyes. "But he's gone."

"Where is he now?"

"I don't know." you chuckled as you wiped your tears, "He just went on living as if I wasn't a part of his life, you know? What a jerk, right?"

Satoru just listened to you, impervious to the fact that you are pertaining to him.

"But I miss him so much," tears began to fall one by one until it wasn't unstoppable, "I miss him, Satoru. Can you bring him back? Please? Bring him back to me."

"What are you doing?!" you asked Satoru with your wide eyes when he just hopped in the shower with you. "Our parents-"

It has been a few weeks since that kiss you shared and it was agreed that you are in a relationship with him, just like that.

And since then it was hard to keep your hands off each other. It was hard though, the sneaking and the hiding.

As much as you want to sleep in the same room and just embrace each other all night, you live with your mom and his dad. Sometimes, he would sneak out of his room and go to yours and he would wake up before your parents did to go back to his.

You both admit it, your situation is kind of exhausting and risky.

But you both felt nothing but excitement and happiness. You have never felt this happy ever since your father left. It was a bit sad though that you cannot flaunt to everyone how happy you are.

However, you thought, it doesn't matter if they know or not. What's important is that you and Satoru knew.

It's your precious moments together that's important. You know that it's only yours and you both get to keep that memories close to your heart.

"They went to work already." He gave you a mischievous grin as he wrapped his arms around your bare waist and rested his chin on your head.

You just let him be as you both let the water fall on your bodies.

You close your eyes as you feel Satoru touch your body with his hands, as you feel his lips kiss your face down to your neck. You feel every little bit of spark as the tip of his fingers came in touch with your skin.

You turned around to face him.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulder and was about to kiss him but then you heard a knock on the bathroom door along with the voice of your mother.

You pushed Satoru and gestured to him to keep his mouth shut.

"Mom?!" you said a bit loudly, "I'm taking a bath!"

"I forgot my makeup bag there. Can you hand it to me?" you heard her. You looked at the sink and you saw her purse.

Shit.

"Hide behind the curtain." you whispered and he just nodded at you.

You wrapped the towel around your body and got the purse, you opened the door slightly— enough to hand the purse to your mother.

"Here you go." you were about to close the door when she stopped you.

You feel like your body is shaking. Nervousness was flowing all through your veins.

"Did Satoru leave already? His car's still here."

"Huh? I don't know, why would you ask me? I'm taking a bath here." you said continuously with a hint of being defensive, you just hope that your mother wouldn't sense it. "Maybe he went out for a while. I don't know."

Your mother just nodded and then you closed the door, you leaned on it and exhaled in relief. You look at Satoru who was covering his mouth to stop himself from laughing.

You glared at him but then that glare turned into a silent laugh as you joined him in the shower again.

He was about to kiss you but then you stopped him, he pouted. "Why?"

"We need to get going. We still have classes, you know?"

"We don't need to attend though." he chuckled, you just rolled your eyes at him, "I'm just kidding."

...

"Do you think they're wondering where we are?" you ask Satoru while your fingers are interlocked as you walk side by side at the beach.

In your free hands were your shoes', you just felt the sand on your feet and the mini waves that were thumping on your legs. It was refreshing, looking at the extensive body of water made you feel free.

And it was special because you are with Satoru.

"No. We go home late anyways sometimes." he answered, "Just tell them you had something at your organization then I had an extra class."

You just smiled and nodded at him. Your classes actually ended two hours ago but then Satoru wanted to take you out on a date to the beach. It was a bit far because you had to drive out from the city.

You liked staring out at the sea because it reminded you of Satoru's eyes. Just like his eyes, the sea was calming.

Looking at his irises always gives you the sanctuary and assurance that you need whenever you are feeling overwrought.

You both sat on the sand as you looked at the sea. Well, you were but then Satoru points out the guy that stumbled on the sand and now you are both laughing.

"Stop it." you said and tried with all your might to stop laughing, "You know that's not nice."

"Then why are you laughing with me?"

You snorted and lightly smacked him in the shoulder, "Because he fell, stupid ass."

You just looked at each other as you laughed your ass off. You stopped when you noticed that Satoru was just looking at you with a smile on his face, "What?"

"I'm capturing your laugh in my mind," he said as he point his temple. "I'm making a film here."

"Huh?" you said with a confused tone and face.

"I'm making a film about you in my mind. So that when I want to see it, I can just wind it back to the beginning."

You let out a wide smile, "Oh, so that's a fancy way for you to say that you are engraving me in your memories? Is that it?"

Satoru just gave you a nod and wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close to lean on him. You felt him kiss your hair. "I love you."

You felt like your whole body shook up. Did he just say that he loves you?

You turned your head to look at his face, "What did you just say?"

"I'm saying I love y-"

You didn't let him finish and just turned your body around to kiss him, you both laughed when he fell onto his back in the sand. You cup his face as you savor every touch that your lips were making.

You didn't need to say it back because he wasn't asking you, he was telling you— and this kiss, it was enough for him to know that you feel the same.

You didn't care about other people whether they were looking at the two of you or not. You had your own little world with him.

"You have sand on your hair." you said as you pulled away. And being the menace that he is, he got a handful and put it in your hair.

"Now you have too."

"Satoru!"

...

"I was looking for you." you closed your book and looked up at your boyfriend, "Your blockmate says you like reading here."

You just nodded, you both leaned on the tree. "You know this is a nice make out spot."

You look at him with wide eyes, "Satoru! We're on campus."

"So? They can't see us, the big tree is covering us."

"Stop it." you said as you read your book again. Satoru got your book and held your chin in between his fingers. He pressed his lips into yours as he held the book up to your faces to cover it.

"There. I told you no one would see." he said as he winked at you.

"You're insane." you said as you looked around. No one seemed to look at you two, the students had their own life.

"I know, right?" he said and chuckled. You just shook your head and continued reading with a smile on your face, all the while, Satoru was just leaning on your shoulders.

"We saw that." You and Satoru both looked at the people who were standing in front of you. The woman sat beside you, "I'm Shoko and that idiot there is Suguru."

"You're the idiot, idiot. " You suppressed your laugh because they looked cute and friendly. Suguru scratched his head, "I told her that we should leave you two alone."

"Then why didn't you?" Satoru said, you just nudged his shoulder because he sounded rude when the two of them are just being nice, though, they watched you two kiss so..

"What? I just wanted to befriend them, they look cute together." Shoko made a face to Suguru and then turned to you, "So, what's your name?"

Satoru just stared at you as you cried your eyes out inside his car. You covered your face with your hands as you sob. He didn't know what else to do but what bothers him the most is that he was hurting too.

He doesn't even know you and you barely talk to him but seeing you like this hurts the hell out of him.

"I.." he sighed, "I don't know what to do. Can I do some-"

"Just take me home." you said as you wiped your tears, "Please."

He just looked at you with a glint of concern in his eyes and started to drive away. You just stared outside the window— not even sparing him a single glance because you know that once you do, you'll start breaking down again.

The car ride to your home was silent. The gloomy atmosphere filled the space and naturally, Satoru would want to lift up your spirits but something tells him that he should leave you alone.

He doesn't get it, why does it hurt like this? Why is he hurting too much?

He didn't know that he cares about you like this.

"Can you manage going inside? I need to go back for Yuna-"

You removed your seatbelt and opened the car door yourself, slamming it once you got outside. Leaving Satoru in there as you go inside alone.

That's right, he has Yuna now. You're nothing to him now, you were just simply his stepsister.

Months have passed and Satoru and Yuna are you don't know, getting serious? You weren't driving to school with him just like before.

He wasn't taking you out on dates, he takes Yuna. Of course, she's his girlfriend. What do you expect when you pushed them?

And you are doing all your might to move on from him. Sometimes you are just wishing that there's a on and off button when you fall in love with someone so that you can just turn your feelings off for Satoru or you wish that you are still dreaming.

You try sleeping it off every time to see if you'd wake up from this absurd dream that's why you are asleep most of the time but to no avail, this is really happening.

You have to push through this pain. You can't even open it up to your friends because who would believe that you travel back to time?

"Satoru, why don't you invite your girlfriend for dinner tomorrow?" your mother said and looked at Satoru across the dining table.

You gripped your utensils, why, why did your mother have to say that? Why are they inflicting pain on you even more?

Though you can't blame them because they don't know.

"Yes, that's a nice idea. Let's meet her." His father added.

You just looked down and continued on eating, you can't look to any of them because you know you'd fall apart.

"I'll tell her." Satoru answered and that's when you dropped your utensils, they looked at you.

You stood up and picked your plate up, "I'm finished."

You didn't let them say anything and went to the sink to put your plate down and after that you locked yourself up in your room.

Each and everyday just gets harder for you. Sometimes you just want to run away but where would you go?

"Did you read all of this already?" Satoru asked as he look at your bookshelf, you just hummed at him because you were busy reading a book. "How did you get into reading anyways?"

"My father is a teacher." you answered.

Satoru just looked around until he noticed your book. His eyes squinted as he got that from your shelves, "Oh. This isn't a book."

You looked at him and immediately stood up but it's too late because he already opened it, you forgot to put a lock on it. Shit.

"You smoke?" you noticed a bit of disapproval in his voice. You nodded as you walk towards him.

"Is there a problem with that?"

"Yeah." He answered, "I don't like it. I mean- I just don't."

You sensed the change around his atmosphere. It feels like he was bothered and disgruntled? You closed the book that you are currently reading and walked towards him. "Why...?"

"That thing kills, you know? Aren't you afraid to have some kind of disease because of that?" Satoru answered a bit uneasy, "I just don't want to lose you. What if you got sick?"

You were a bit surprised when you saw tears cascading down on the side of his eyes.

"Hey. Hey." You soothed him, you pulled him to sit in your bed, "It's okay. You are not going to lose me, okay? I'll throw it out. I promise."

He pulled you down to sit on his lap, he buried his face on your neck and tighten his grasp on your waist. You just kiss and caress his hair until he calms down a bit.

"My mom died of lung cancer." he whispered while his face are still buried on your neck.

You just sighed and tapped his back gently. He didn't need to explain anything any further, you understood him and you know that this is a serious matter for him.

"Okay. I won't smoke anymore. I promise."

...

"Baby, wake up." you whispered and poked Satoru's cheek. He sneaked inside your room again and he needs to wake up now because your mom will wake up any time now.

Not that she's checking both your rooms but what if she did? You just can't risk getting caught.

Satoru just groaned and tightened his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

"I don't want to let go of you." He whispered, you chuckled and gave him a peck on his lips.

"You'll see me later. You need to go back to your room now."

Your set up has been like this for a year now. You don't even know how you both managed to keep this a secret for a twelve months.

And that reminds you, this day marks your one year together.

He whined for a bit like a child but then he sat down on your bed. You just laughed at his face because he looked so down. "You always see me anyways. Aren't you getting tired of my face?"

Satoru clicked his tongue and cupped your face, "This face? Why would I get tired of my pretty baby's face?"

You giggled when he kiss your face all over and finally on your lips. "I love you. See you later."

Satoru silently slipped out of your room and went to his as you laid back down on your bed. It feels weird, not having him in your bed. It felt empty.

But you can't do anything about it. You know your mother wouldn't like this because you're supposed to be family.

But what can you do when he's the one who only made you feel like this?

You woke up before Satoru and went down on the living room once you finished taking a bath and fixed yourself. It was your last day on the uni before your summer break and your mom and Satoru's dad's wedding is getting near as well.

They have been living in your house for nearly two years now. You were happy for your mother but when you think about their wedding day coming— you feel this hurt in your chest.

Because you know they'll never accept your relationship but you don't want to ruin your mother's happiness.

You don't want to hide it but you are afraid of what's going to happen once they knew.

You don't want to leave Satoru either.

You sighed, you don't want to keep thinking about it. For now, you'll just go with whatever happens.

Once you got down, you saw your mother cooking breakfast and Satoru's dad drinking his coffee while he read some news. They looked at you and smiled, then there's your guilt creeping up on you.

"Good morning, darling." Your mother greeted.

"Morning." you simply said.

You just got yourself some coffee and decided to drink it on the front porch because you don't want to see their faces. There's the fear of thinking that they may know something. You were uneasy most of the time and Satoru constantly reminds you that they don't know about you two.

"Hey." You jumped a bit when you heard your boyfriend's voice behind you. You turned around and chuckled when you saw how messy his hair is, he's wearing his black baggy sweater that exposes his collarbone. "Good morning, baby."

As much as he want to hug you from behind and shower you with his kisses, he stopped himself. If only he could, you know he would never let go of you.

"You look sexy in that." you remarked.

"Yeah. I know." He said with a confidence and snatched your cup from you.

"Get your own." you said as you snatched it back again, "Mom might see us."

"They won't. They're in the kitchen and I'm too lazy to get my own."

You shook your head and gave him your coffee, "Drink it fast and get ready, I don't want to be late on our last day."

"Okay, boss." He answered, you turned around to enter your house but then Satoru called your name. You hummed and looked at him, "Happy anniversary, baby."

You just smiled at him and went inside. One year, it seems like yesterday you didn't want him in your house but now, you are celebrating your one year anniversary with him.

Life is really unpredictable, huh.

...

"Where are you going again?"

"It's at Ieiri's family lake house." You tell your mother, "Don't worry about me, Satoru's there anyways."

You told your mother that you and your circle of friends are having a weekend getaway at Ieiri's lake house because it was summer already. You need some excuse so that you and Satoru can celebrate your anniversary which was yesterday and luckily your friends are supportive.

You also told your parents that the people consists of ten to fifteen people so it wouldn't be suspicious but the truth is it's just you, Satoru, Ieiri and Suguru.

You didn't want to lie but you really have no choice.

"Let's go?" you turned to Satoru and nodded.

Your mother kissed your cheek, "Okay. Take care, don't drink too much. I know there will be drinking so.." she turned to Satoru, "Look out for your sister, okay?"

You cringed a lot to yourself when you heard the word 'sister'. It weirded you out because you know, you and Satoru are having sex and that's not what step-siblings do.

Satoru noticed your face and snorted a bit but then he gave your mother a smile, "I will."

Not long, you heard some car honk outside, you both went outside and you saw Ieiri leaning on the campervan. "Hey, let's go."

You excitedly went inside with Ieiri and saw Suguru on the driver's seat, he smiled at you. "Hey. Where's Satoru?"

Before you could even answer, Satoru went inside. "Hey, ugly face."

"Hey, monkey face." Suguru teased Satoru, you just rolled your eyes and sat beside Ieiri.

"Your mom bought your excuse?" she asked as she open a bottle of beer for you and for her, you nodded as you reach the can.

"Thank you for doing this." You said, Ieiri just gave you a smile and placed her arm around your shoulder.

"Of course! That's what friends are for."

The road trip to the lake house were fun as usual. It is never boring with the four of you. There's always Satoru and Suguru teasing each other or sometimes its Shoko and Suguru then you and Satoru.

It's basically just you making fun of each other.

"I don't get it. How could you stand Satoru when he's being annoying like this?" Ieiri told you as she glare at your boyfriend.

"Oh. You don't know how annoyed at him at the beginning. I just want to punch his face sometimes, you know?" you added, earning a laugh from Suguru and Ieiri.

"Hey!" Satoru exclaimed, he looked at you for a bit at the rear-view mirror because it was his turn to drive. "You're being mean to me."

...

When you arrived at the lake house, Suguru and Ieiri decided to take a nap on their respective rooms while you and Satoru decided to look around.

You were left with awe once you arrived, it was a two storey window lake house with prow front and a rustic design inside. It was enormous and utterly beautiful, it was the perfect place for you and Satoru to celebrate your first ever anniversary.

"You know I have always wanted a big house like this." you said as you sat on the front porch with him, "So that I could have my own library."

"Okay."

Your brows furrowed and looked at Satoru, "What okay?"

"Okay, I'll build you a big house with your own big library. Then I'll buy you all the books in this world. Read all of them, anytime you want."

"Really?"

"Really."

You smiled and leaned your head on his shoulders. You looked at the lake and started thinking about your future with Satoru. You pictured getting married, buying or as Satoru said, building a big house and having kids.

You wanted all that with him but there's still the thought of your parents finding out. The life with Satoru seemed far-fetched when you two are hiding the beautiful relationship that you have.

"Do you see me in your future?"

You heard Satoru chuckled, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. "Baby, I already planned everything out in my mind. I even know what our kids names will be."

"You mean child. I only want one."

"But I want ten."

"Excuse me?!" you exclaimed, you looked at him and you saw that mischievous grin on his face, "Okay, maybe two but ten? Do you think my uterus is some kind of baby factory or whatever?"

You know he was just kidding but you like to ride on his stupid jokes because you two click just like that.

"How about eight?"

"No."

"Six?"

"No."

"Hmm. We'll see."

You just want to dig a hole, get inside and bury yourself there.

That's all you wanted to do as you hear your mother tell Yuna how beautiful she is. How she and Satoru were so cute together.

You just want to yell, oh my god, we get it. They're cute, why don't you marry them yourself if you like them together so much.

But you kept your mouth shut. You are just listening on from the kitchen, the plan is to get water and go back to your room immediately but you can't stop yourself from listening to their conversation.

"You'll go to our engagement party, okay?" your mother invited Yuna. Great, they said that was for family only. So, is she? Part of your family?

You took a deep breath just to ease the pain building inside your chest. So, just get out of there and go to your room.

But you must like to inflict obliterating pain on yourself. You saw how Satoru's eyes sparkle when he's with Yuna. You saw how he can't keep his eyes off her.

Is he making a film about Yuna on his mind too? Maybe. Yuna's the star on the film that he's making now and you're a mere side character.

A side character who was essential to get them together but still, your role was just in the beginning and you were set aside like you were nothing when you were Satoru's whole world back then.

"Oh." Satoru said with a love-struck look in his face. You swear you can almost see some heart coming out of his eyes as he look at you with his loving look.

You smiled and turned your body to give him a full look on your dress, "Pretty, right?"

"Baby, you are.." he walked towards you and checked you out again, "I don't know. Gorgeous, alluring, ravishing, captivating, lovely, striking, magnificent-"

"Okay, Satoru." you pressed your index finger on his lips to stop him from saying every word on the dictionary, you noticed some of the saleslady chuckling and cooing at you two. "I get it, babe. Thank you."

Satoru just kissed the side of your head, "You can't blame because you look really beautiful."

You are dress shopping with Satoru for your mother and his fathers' engagement party, you were supposed to go alone but you know Satoru, he would want to be with you every chance he get.

But you aren't complaining, because you also want to be with him every minute of every day.

...

"Dance with me." Satoru whispered to your ear.

If you could, you would. But you know they might get suspicious if they see you that close to each other. No, scratch suspicious— they would know about you two.

But you had to admit it, you also wanted to get on the dance floor and slow dance with Satoru just like your mom and his dad or the other guests.

"Satoru." You sighed and looked at him, "You know we can't."

"Okay, what if we get out of here? We'll come back."

"We'll leave the party just so we could dance with each other?" you paused, Satoru looked at you waiting for your answer, "Yeah. Okay."

You both giggled and you looked around first before subtly slipping out of the party, once you went out of the event hall, Satoru held your hand and dragged you to the event's place garden.

"Milady." Satoru said as he laid his hand for you, you let out a smile as you held his hand. Satoru spun you around then he held your waist once you face him.

You held into his shoulders as you both dance to the faint music from the event hall. It wasn't that far from the garden, so the music that was playing was enough for the two of you to hear.

You then changed your positions and now you're just embracing each other as you sway your bodies. You just close your eyes as you lean your head on his chest, smiling as you listen to him whisper sweet things to you.

"Satoru."

"Hmm?"

"What if we run away? Then we wouldn't have to hide. We wouldn't sneak out. You don't have to wake up early, you could stay with me in bed or maybe even we could stay in bed all day."

"I'd like that."

You know Satoru, he would do everything for you. He would defy anything for you. You know him and that means, he knows you too.

He knows that you couldn't do that even if you wanted to. He knows that you'll worry about everything.

And he is right. You feel like you were betraying your mother, he knows you feel guilty about keeping this to her. He knows that you couldn't live with the burdened feeling of leaving your mother.

You looked up to him, "Then where would we go?"

"Anywhere you like, my love."

You gave him a smile and hooked your arms around his neck, you tiptoed to reach his face and once you did, you closed your eyes and pressed your lips together.

You kissed Satoru like it was your last, you savored every moment. You felt every reactions that your bodies were making. You felt the rush, the heat— you felt like all of the happiness in the world was being poured at this moment.

But that's the problem of feeling this emotion, you can feel it anytime but you don't know when would it be taken from you. Your happiness at this moment was fleeting and it was exchanged with fear.

"Satoru."

You both looked at the person who spoke. It was his father, together with your mother who was looking at you with her surprised eyes.

"Mom.." you stuttered, you pulled away from Satoru. She just looked at you with clear hurt and disappointment in her eyes. You know it's the worst, when she isn't saying anything.

You walked towards her and held her hand, "Mom. Listen-"

You were stunned when she strike your face with the palm of her hand. Satoru's eyes widen at the sudden violence, he didn't waste any time and pulled you close to him. Your mother looked at the two of you with disbelief.

"How could you do this? I thought you were supportive of me? But you were sabotaging me the whole time."

You know yourself that it wasn't your intention to sabotage her. You were just in love.

"It's not like that- I wasn't.. Please."

She just took a deep breath and went back inside. You covered your face with your hands as you sob. Satoru embraced you in his arms and just let you cry.

Satoru's dad gave the two of you a glance before going after your mother. He was surprised but he didn't feel any anger. In fact, he was a bit happy that he get to see his son this happy. So young and in love— though he thought, it was unfortunate that it was you who he fell in love with.

Five, was it?

No, you think it was a countless glasses of champagne to make you this light-headed and a bit out of yourself. You aren't planning on getting drunk on your mother's engagement party but seeing Satoru dance with Yuna on the dance floor, just ruins your mood.

That was supposed to be you, you thought.

Funny, they get to do what you two can't do then. You were just tapping the table as you watch the bubbles on your champagne. You don't know where would you turn your attention to so you just did that.

You know how would this harrowing event end but then, you changed it, right? This night would end differently unlike the one from the past.

You frowned when Satoru walked towards you and Yuna went you don't know where. "Hey."

"Hey!" you said a bit loud and cheerful, so you snickered, "Where's your girlfriend heading to?"

"Bathroom." He sat beside you, "Are you okay? You're getting a bit drunk.. you know that's enough."

"I'm fine! Now, tell me about Yuna. She's nice, huh?" you rested your elbows on the table and looked intently at Satoru who was now frowning at you.

"Yeah. She's great."

"Nice! So... are you going to marry her?" you laughed as you wipe the tears that was already flooding your eyes.

Satoru looked around, some of the guests were looking at you now since your laugh wasn't that hard to ignore. He sighed as he stand up, he's always looking out for you whenever you are drunk and he doesn't know why he keeps on doing that.

You always concern him when you are like this.

He doesn't know if you had a problem with or what but he noticed that you only talk to him when you are drunk, he knows you are avoiding him when you are sober. There are times that he tries to make conversation with you but you always answer him with only a one word.

The last longest talk you had was after Hana's party and that was months ago.

And, you were drunk then.

Like you are now.

"Let's get you out of here." He said, "Before your mother sees you like this. Please?"

You sighed and nodded at him. You stood up and he tried to support you but you swatted his hand away, if you let him touch you then you know you won't keep away from him.

You tried so hard for months not to make contact with him and you wouldn't let yourself now.

He just followed you until you reached the garden, you laughed when you remembered what happened here.

"Satoru." you said, "Remember what happened here?"

"No. I don't. What are you saying?"

That's right, you sighed and shook your head. "Nothing. I'm talking shit. Don't mind me."

You looked at him. You need to fight it. You need to stop yourself from touching him.

But you miss him so much, you miss him so much that it ruins you.

But fuck it, he isn't in love with you now so you aren't breaking any rules from that white freaking book from some kind of magical creature you don't even know.

You walked towards Satoru and wrapped your arms around his waist, you rested your head on his chest. "I miss you."

Satoru thought you were talking about the man that you love that looks like him, which is really him though he isn't aware, so he let you.

You were always devastated. You don't talk to him but he observes you every now and then, he have always noticed how dreary you look. You radiate that kind of energy that he can feel your pain too.

"I miss you, Satoru." you whispered but enough for him to hear. "I miss you so freaking much. I miss being close to you like this."

"I'm.." he paused, "I'm not him. I'm not the man that you are talking about, right?"

He's not him.. you felt like something woke up inside you once you heard him say that.

You pulled away from him and you nodded.

It was like you are waking up slowly.

He's right. He is Satoru but he isn't your Satoru.

Your Satoru always looked at you with gleam in his eyes. He always looked at you and touched you like you were the most precious and fragile thing in this whole world.

He treated you like you were his whole universe. You know that even from his last breath.

Your Satoru died already, he's not him.

"You're right." you answered, "You aren't him."

You calmed yourself down and told Satoru that you are going to talk to your mother, so you left him on the garden and followed your mother inside, she isn't on the events hall so you figured that she was on the dressing room.

You knocked before you open the door and you were right, she was sitting on the chair while talking to someone on the phone.

"Mom.." she looked at you and dropped the call, "Let's talk, please."

"There's nothing to talk about. You and Satoru can't happen. I'm sending you to your aunt out of the country-"

You stopped her. She can't do that. You aren't a child that she could just send somewhere she like. You are an adult who is capable of making decisions.

"Mom, no! Please, would you just listen to me?!" you pleaded. "Just listen, please."

"It's done. You can't change my mind-"

You took a deep breath as you leave the room, shutting the door behind you. If she won't listen then you wouldn't have any choice but to do what you're thinking, right?

You ran to the garden and you saw Satoru waiting for you, you smiled and laid your hand for him. "What happened?"

"Hold my hand." you said, and once he did— you squeezed it, "We're running away. Okay?"

Satoru frowned, "What?"

"Just... please. Let's get away from here."

You don't know how all of this is happening. All you know is that you are now on the passenger's seat of his Satoru's car as he drive to somewhere you don't know.

You were just looking outside and Satoru is looking at you every now and then with a worried look in his face.

"Satoru.. I can't. I can't hurt my mom." You looked at him, tears cascading from your eyes.

"Do you want to go back?"

It was entirely up to you. Satoru would do everything you ask of him.

But if you go back then you'd be far away from him.

So, do you want to go back?

"No... I don't. Just drive."

Why does it have to be like this? You just loved. Is this the cost of being happy?

"Are you sure?" Satoru asked one more time. You wiped your tears and smiled at him, you are very sure.

You want to be with him. That is all you want.

"I'm sure. Okay? So, just get us far away from here. Get us to some place that we wouldn't need to hide. That we can be just us."

Satoru looked at you and smiled, "Okay, boss."

You both chuckled and looked ahead but then your smile faded.

All of it happened too fast.

Lights.

Sirens.

You heard all sorts of noises and all you wanted is for them to shut up so you could rest peacefully. You had never felt this kind of weight on your body and all you wanted was to rest.

You closed your eyes for a bit and all of the noise faded, when you opened them the first person you saw was your mother.

You saw how happy she looked, she immediately stood up and called someone. Your mind was a bit hazy, you tried looking around and he was nowhere to be found.

Satoru... where is he?

"Mom." You called for her, she held your hand and cupped your face, "Satoru.. where is Satoru?"

Your mother sighed and kissed your forehead, "He's right there, honey."

You looked at where she pointed at, there was some glass door dividing the room, you can see him as he sleep peacefully.

You felt relieved, you are both fine.

Some doctors checked you out and did some tests on you to see if you were alright. You just stared at Satoru as you wait for him to wake up.

The doctors said that he might take longer to wake up than you because his injuries were far more extensive.

But he would wake up, you know that.

So, you would just sleep on your side— facing Satoru, watching him every second as you wait for him to open his eyes. You wanted to stand up to hold him but you still can't. So, all you can do was stare at him.

You lost track of how long you were watching him.

It has been two or three days? You are doing your physical therapy today, Ieiri and Suguru visited the both of you but he isn't waking up yet.

"Baby." you whispered as you look at him, "Wake up. Please?"

...

"I can't! I can't do this!" you cried out, "Please. I can't. Mom, it hurts."

"You can do it, honey. You just need to- okay, what would Satoru say if he's awake? He would say that you can do it. He would tell you not to give up, right?"

Your physical therapy was excruciating and exhausting. It made you feel like you are in a bottom pit and no matter what you can't pull yourself up.

But what gets you through is Satoru because he'll wake up. He is your strength and you know that he won't let you give up.

So you pushed through— you need to get through this so when he wakes up, you'll be there to help him when it's his turn to do this.

The days turns into weeks. You could stand up on your own now and you are almost done with your physical therapy— sooner you would be sent home but how could you go home without Satoru?

You held his hand, "Satoru. I swear if you don't wake up."

You sighed and caressed his face, outlining every bit of his features using your fingers, "I miss you. Please, wake up."

You never left Satoru's side. You were about to nod off but then you heard the doctor went inside his room. You stood up along with your mother and Satoru's father, you frowned when you saw the doctor's face.

"Mr. and Mrs. Gojo, I know this is a very hard time for you but this is the time that we ask you about his health care directives— you should decide to take him to long-term care facilities or take him off the ventilator-"

"What?" you said, "No. We're not taking him off. We aren't pulling the plug or anything. He's going to wake up."

It was automatic that you felt scared when you heard them say that. There's no way that you are giving up. You wouldn't give up on him because you know that if you are the one on his shoes, he wouldn't give up on you too.

"Honey. They're just saying our choices." your mother calmed you.

You sighed and sat back down to the chair beside his bed and held his hand. "Satoru, get your stupid ass up."

Your tears fell one by one as you rest your forehead on his bed while you hold his hand.

This is so unfair, you cannot lose him.

He can't do this to you.

You pulled your head up when you felt him squeeze your hand, it wasn't strong but you felt it. "Satoru?"

"Hey." Your eyes widen as your lips formed a wide smile, he cleared his throat and slowly opened his eyes, "My stupid ass is up."

...

"The food here is shit." Satoru whispered to you causing for you to chuckle. "Why would they give us this shit?"

You snorted, "You have no choice because this shitty food is only the one you could eat."

You were so happy. After weeks, you never lost hope that Satoru would wake up and he did. He was so energetic and talkative like he was before.

You would talk and laugh with him like the usual thing you both did.

"Tell me what you want to eat and I'll buy you that once you're allowed to eat something from outside." you said.

Satoru hummed as he thought about it carefully, "Anything sweet will do."

You assented, "Okay. I will get you all of it."

You get what you both wanted to do, to fall asleep in each other's arm and now he doesn't need to sneak out or something. It's just a bit unfortunate that it had to be in a hospital bed but at least you two were together.

You looked at him as you play with his hair, you both are turned to your side— facing each other.

"Okay, I've reached a decision." you tell him.

"Hmm?"

"Three. But that's it. No more."

Satoru pouted, "You really won't consider five?"

"I told you my uterus isn't a baby factory!"

Satoru chuckled and tightened his arm on your waist, "Okay. Fine. You win."

"Okay. There's no take-backs. I win. Three it is." You said as you giggle but then your brows furrowed when you noticed how pale he looked. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. You're here. I'm alright." he mumbled. "I'm more than alright."

"Are you sure? I'll call a doctor-"

"No. Just stay here, okay? I need you here." you nodded but you were really getting worried. He looked like his energy was being sucked slowly out of him, you can feel his hold on you gets detached slowly.

"Satoru, please. Just let me call-"

He cupped your cheeks and gave you a faint smile. "You know I love you so much. So much."

You bit your lip, your eyes are welling up and you don't like any of this. You aren't getting a good feeling about this.

"I know that." You closed your eyes and pressed your lips into his. "You know I do too. I love you so much."

He just hummed. "I know, baby."

"Satoru." you said his name, "Don't… please."

"I'm getting tired. Can I close my eyes?"

Is this what they say? The calm before the storm? The surge before death?

Is this it?

He was fine. He woke up and he laughed with you, he was making his usual stupid jokes.

Your tears began to fall. You pulled him close to you and laid his head on your arms as you plant a kiss on his hair, "Alright.. you can rest."

"You aren't him." you repeated, "I know because he died right here in my arms. So, it's impossible because the man that who loves me is already dead."

Maybe it's time that you let go. You are in a dream that was designed for you to get hurt and in order for you to wake up, you have to accept that Satoru's gone.

You know that this dream was made for you to see that you should lose hope because Satoru would never come back.

He wouldn't come back to you.

No matter what.

He wouldn't.

Satoru smiled at you, he walked towards you and held your face. "It's time for you to wake up."

You smiled and you nodded, it's time for you to start accepting that he's gone.

He leaned his face closer to yours— you both closed your eyes and he pressed his lips on yours.

You opened your eyes.

You are back on your bed, you looked around and you saw the unbearable surroundings. You stared at the ceiling.

So, it was all a dream. He didn't come back and you didn't travel two years back. You knew it, Satoru would never hurt you like that. He wouldn't love anyone beside you so you knew it was a dream.

You can hear that continuous sound but you closed your eyes and just held him close to you. The nurses and the doctors rushed inside but they stopped when they saw you.

They turned off the monitor so that you can have peace with him.

You felt someone touch your back, you turned your head and saw your mother and his father, "He's not going to wake up now, is he?"

"I'm sorry, honey."

You just closed your eyes and caressed his soft ivory hair. They left you alone as you hold Satoru close to you.

"It's okay." you whispered, "I'm here, Satoru. You can rest all you want and I'll just hold you."

It was faint but you could hear them say it, that's when you let out your tumultuous cries because it felt real.

Satoru is gone and he wouldn't come back.

"Time of death, 23:45."