#Grab your lasers. Set them to queue.

[fayzart136]

Best quality: his giggles.

(This is a repost: my original blog got deleted by accident.)

[fountainpenguin]

Any tips for writing Cosmo? I'm struggling a bit with writing him and I'd thought I'd ask you since I enjoy your characterization of him (and while im here, who is the hardest fop character for you to write?)

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoy my take on Cosmo! He's got a pretty messed-up backstory in my works and I enjoy him :)

?? In the editor, my pics are arranged "a reasonable way" - next to each other, multiple in a line - but in the queue, they're... standalone, and thus a huge mess. I'm so sorry. I hope it doesn't post that way.

Talkin' Cosmo

This post talks a lot about Cosmo in my 'fics, and I have other Cosmo inspo resources at the bottom if you're interested. I'll give some brief notes before deep-diving into what I've done with him.

Cosmo has his clumsy moments, but he's a very good and protective dad! And that's very important to me.

"Mission Responsible," "For Emergencies Only," "Super Zero," "Farm Pit"

He's here for the fun AND the disciplining! He's on top of both! He's trying to equally protect Foop as much as Poof despite their past grievances! He took a laser for his son in "Playdate of Doom"!! D:

Also, Cosmo in "Formula For Disaster" - I will take a grenade or bullet for everyone in this room. Please let me take a bullet for you.

What is UP with Wanda's multi-season one-sided beef with Foop? lmao. He's always polite to her (Calling her Auntie Wanda compared to Uncle Idiot & tolerating her grabbing his collar and yelling in his face). Who would have beef with a baby who's always apologizing and saying thank you? sdklfjsdfj... (Kick his butt, Wanda) Cosmo's seemingly fine with him and even asked for Foop's business card, but Wanda does not like him. Foop brought Timmy some food he's proud he made and she put him to sleep "until his true love kisses him" without telling him that was the condition of the caramel apple she handed him, and then she told the camera that they were all going to live happily ever after... savage... Girl, that is not very "You have to learn how to forgive people after they try to destroy you" of you. Rules for thee, not for me... I love her, but that's really funny. Cosmo's pretty chill with him. I do not think Foop's relationship with Anti-Cosmo is particularly good. Like??? idk why I'm even asking what's up with her beef- It IS canonically Wanda who wants to kill Timmy's parents (S4's "Fairy Friends and Neighbors," plus she nearly kills Mrs. Crocker in S9's "Fairly Old Parent" and only stops because Timmy warns her he's "not going back to jail with her"), but... Wanda, he's a toddler.

Also, Cosmo even adjusts his body language sometimes because he's trying to copy and improve!! Love that for him!!")

"Mission Responsible"

Shout-out to Cosmo in "School of Crock" smiling and tearing up affectionately when he thinks Poof came out to him... regarding Poof "wanting to marry a cat") and he states that he's both accepting and proud of him. This is not what Poof said, but it's the thought that counts.

Cosmo, they could never make me listen to "He's a deadbeat dad" slander <3

He has his lapses in judgment, but he cares deeply about both Poof and Timmy and works hard to be a good parent to them (and later Chloe too), send post.

The other thing you need to know about Cosmo is that he is SALTY as ALL HECK. But... he plays it in a way that I'd call plausible deniability (considering the "dumb" persona he's set himself up with).

Ex: Cosmo has strong feelings about Timmy's parents (He goes into a panic in "Sooper Poof" because "Those two have no idea how to raise a child!" but he usually keeps that on the downlow. I said above that Cosmo seems chill with Foop, but it's worth noting that he spends an excessive amount of time "trying to get a sprite off Foop" at the end of "Spellementary School" by slamming him with a frying pan, and he says words that imply he's playing dumb about it... Interesting...

Cosmo's way of treating people is very different from Wanda grabbing Foop by the collar and screaming in his face, or cheerfully announcing her plan to put him in handcuffs, or when she slapped Juandissimo in the face with her purse in "Stupid Cupid," or (although I don't consider very-late-series Juandissimo to be an accurate portrayal of his character) when she shoved him in "Fairy Con" and snapped that if he didn't back off, she'd "kick him in the butt-issimo."

Wanda intimidates, presumably because Big Daddy raised her that way. Funnily enough, Mama Cosma also tends to use intimidating (Ex: Being outright mean to Wanda, kidnapping Wanda's dad) to the point that she seemingly spooks H.P. and Anti-Cosmo enough to make them back down when she takes Poof from them. but Timmy straight-up grabs her by the collar and yells in her face, and I think that's funny.

Words cannot explain how funny it is to me that neither Cosmo nor Anti-Cosmo are fans of direct confrontation... but Cosmo handles it by getting up close to bother you, pushing the envelope, and Anti-Cosmo will run away. Ex: "When Nerds Collide" - A.C. pours salt on Jorgen's shoes, tells Anti-Wanda he'll be back for her, then scampers off with a look of terror on his face. This man will only taunt you if you're locked away or he has back-up. He's very easily spooked.

Anti-Cosmo when one fairy (Jorgen) stands between him and his wife: PEACE OUT, BABE!

Cosmo when his family's in genuine danger:

Cosmo does not like head-on confrontation if it can be avoided, as he's much more into mind games or distraction tactics (like suggesting Jorgen scramble the fairies, or showing Jorgen a slideshow presentation to stall for time).

Anti-Cosmo always opts for running over fighting (Literally all his episodes except "Oddlympics," which is the only episode where no one threatens him directly unless you count Cupid poofing up angry cheetahs, which... fair) or else he just plain shuts down ("Fairly Odd Baby" & "Anti-Poof" are good examples).

LOVE his streak of looking confused in the background when he doesn't want to speak up. He's always a little nervous and I think it's funny. Even if you break into his house, he won't even yell at you. You can just do it...

Cosmo 🤝 Anti-Cosmo

Big "I don't know what I'm doing" energy

They just cover it with opposite personas... Anti-Cosmo pretends he knows everything and Cosmo pretends to know nothing.

One of my favorite scenes truly showcases Cosmo's saltiness. In "Jerk of All Trades," he offers to show Juandissimo to the room he can stay in (after Juandissimo loses his corporate housing)...

... and promptly throws him in the freezer. Hey, what??

Keep an eye out for scenes where Cosmo seems smug, because those tend to be the best examples of his plausible deniability / clever subtleties

The beef Cosmo and Juandissimo have with each other cracks me up... I like the OG canon that Juandissimo is terrified of Cosmo. In an early script for "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary" (linked), he straight-up says Cosmo is the only one he's afraid of because he's a "warrior" and "a cunning and calculating foe." Like ??? Excuse me?

-> Part of this did make it into the final version with Juandissimo whining to Remy that he's "lucky to be alive" after Cosmo almost turned his hand into a fist! Why is Juandissimo always flaunting his muscles but then he'll whine that Cosmo spooks him... sdlkfj.

- My secret headcanon is that Juandissimo was once witness to Cosmo losing control (as Cosmo is confirmed in multiple episodes to be extremely powerful and dangerous) and he realized then and there that he never wanted to be on the receiving end of that fury. But nobody ever believes him that Cosmo is scary, so he just cringes and whines in the background.

"Bird Song" (Florence and the Machine) is one of my Cosmo inspo songs for that reason.

Also, I live for the scene in "Super Zero" where Cosmo is holding Chet Ubetcha (whom he was taking to find his car) while Chet reports about how Cosmo is a terrible superhero...

... so Cosmo straight-up says "There's your car" and drops him into a volcano. Incredible. No notes. Saltiest boy in the world. It plays rent-free in my head...

He can be salty for a variety of reasons, but it seems to flare up especially when he's being territorial of his family or space

[Very long post (11k words from here) - Click at own discretion]

Major Cloudlands AU story spoilers up to where we are in the 130 Prompts; if you've made it to "Sentry," you've seen it.

So... Let's get detailed!

[Basic overview, cnt'd from above; the spoiler bits come later]

Cosmo is a mama's boy! We know that pretty well from canon; it's one of his most obvious traits. However... he won't leave Wanda for her (as much as his mother antagonizes him).

- He's VERY loyal to Mama Cosma, to the point of sneaking her into his and Wanda's underwater castle in "Hassle in the Castle" and not telling Wanda about it.

- I think "Presto Change-O" and "Odd Squad" showcase his attachment well- He's reasonably concerned for her and very caring, but he's clearly living his own life at home.

- When he darts out on Timmy in the former episode, he first assures Timmy that when he and Wanda are back, they'll "all do something really fun and magical together." After Mama Cosma recovers from her 9-hour flu, he doesn't make Wanda wait around and takes the lead in getting them out of there (with a cheerful good-bye to his mom).

Context: My Cloudlands AU 'fics strive to be "as canon as possible," and I'm particularly proud of a scene I wrote in "I Just Live Here" where Foop reflects on family relations (and we see evidence of Cosmo and Wanda's relationship straining due to insults):

Once he came clean about his marriage to a damsel she couldn't stand, Mama Cosma couldn't keep her hands out of his life. She threads her son's mind with all sorts of poisoned commentary and doesn't seem to feel a smidgen of remorse. Like… wow. I lie, cheat, and manipulate people too, but when I try to imagine my own mother fighting tooth and nail to split me apart from my friends, that just seems unnecessarily cruel. It's weird. I know my auntie has done her best to tolerate it (holding her tongue and temper in a way that even I admire), but once when I was lurking around Timmy Turner's house before he came home from school, I heard she and my uncle break into a fight. Well… More of a scolding, really. After three or four minutes of listing her grievances against Mama Cosma, Auntie Wanda simply burst into tears. "I can't go to her house anymore. I can't keep going to these fancy lunches in Fairy World. But I worry all the time that if I don't go, you won't come back to me. Mama Cosma can really stick her hooks in you. I just don't feel like you respect me anymore, Cosmo, or like you believe living with me is an improvement over being a mama's boy and staying all day in your childhood bedroom. I need your support when she bears into me. Can you do that?" "I'll try to be better," was his response, stunned and shaky. I'd felt that way myself, curiosity getting the better of me as I floated as near to the window as I dared, my ear pressed against the wall. I could hear my uncle's fingers fiddling with his tie, wrapping the fabric around and around his wrist. "I don't know, Wanda… She's my mama. I know she can be a little harsh sometimes, but she's just getting a little old and cranky. She wouldn't do anything to really hurt me…" "She's been flinging insults at me for years." "… This is real? It's not all just some smart people test about sarcasm or irony or hidden underlying meanings? I'm not good at picking up clues, Wanda… You know that." Then, more quietly, "I'll try… It's just that sometimes I have a hard time keeping up with what's going on. I never feel like I'm in on the joke, and then when I finally am, it's like everyone thinks it isn't funny anymore. And what's more confusing is that sometimes, people say something I thought was kind of mean and everybody laughs, but then other times, everybody gets real quiet and uncomfortable. It's really hard for me to figure out the difference before the words are out of my mouth. And I don't always know there's something wrong unless it's explained to me with puppets or words… but I'll try. Can you keep being patient with me, even when I mess things up all over again?" "Every time, Cosmo. I love you… SO much…" Well. That had been an awkward thing to overhear. But I know why they had that discussion when they thought they were alone in private. I don't blame my auntie and uncle for trying to keep the trials of their marriage away from their son and two godkids. They're doing what they can to provide stability. My own parents could likely learn a thing or two from them. My father shouts a lot when he's upset, and my mother often floats there and takes it, not saying a word. I've overheard breaking plates and sometimes the frustrated pounding of a hand against the wall, but… Well.

I really like this scene because I think it's a good balance of Cosmo being insensitive, but at least somewhat justified in his confusion and misunderstanding ("But... you also say mean things to me" and/or "People think it's funny and I don't always get when it isn't"). It allows me to treat their bickering as canon while also showing them working things out in the background.

It's got Wanda standing up for herself and Cosmo wanting to be better... and I like my set-up of them talking where they know Timmy wouldn't hear, and Foop's just flat-out eavesdropping. Makes me laugh. Everyone here is spot-on, imo.

"Crocker of Gold" is an episode I like for Cosmo's misunderstandings- That's the one where he dresses as a leprechaun and Crocker catches him and demands gold, so Cosmo takes gold from real leprechauns and leaves them a note. They're upset with him, and both Timmy and Wanda are shocked he left a note. Cosmo claims it would've been rude not to. He generally is following a social script... it just might not match the circumstances he's in. I like to think that he skates through life trying to be polite, salty, under the radar, or playing dumb. Those things have gotten him this far in life, so he defaults to them. -> I showed a screenshot earlier of Cosmo changing his body language to match Wanda's. I don't think it's common for him to want to learn new things or change his behavior, but he's all-in at being a good dad and tends to mimic what he sees Wanda do. He follows role models. -> Jorgen is clearly his role model in "Cosmo Rules," since Cosmo also opts for a military get-up while defending Da Rules despite that not being required (Juandissimo didn't) -> In "Oh, Brother," Cosmo lists things that a brother can do for you- Drive a getaway car, lend you bail money - which he's probably saying because his older brother is a con artist. -> In "Something's Fishy," he even mimics Schnozmo's catchphrase: saying "Two words!" followed by something that's not two words. Hilariously, both of these happened in Season 5- Long before Schnozmo was introduced in Season 7. -> And by that logic, it's not surprising Cosmo can be rude and speak his mind a lot since Mama Cosma and Schnozmo are both known for that. Heck, Cosmo gets under Juandissimo's skin in "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary" by mimicking him, and it was his own idea to do so.

Notably, in Poof's POV section of this same story, he says he and his dad visit Mama Cosma's without Wanda, and shares this:

When I'm with the Cosma side of my family, Mama Cosma lets me put my feet up on the furniture if I want to. I definitely can't do that at my granddad's because my nonna would have a fit. Mama Cosma doesn't care if I eat in the living room, even on her couch while we look at old scrapbooks of my dad and Uncle Schnozmo when they were kids (Plus old yearbooks of her and Papa Cosma… but my papa died when my dad was only two, so I never got to meet him). There's definitely… a weird vibe at Mama Cosma's prim and frilly little house, though. She loves my dad and he'll usually spend the whole visit with me when we go, but my own mama won't set foot anywhere near my grandmother's house anymore. When I was a baby I didn't really get it, but then I learned to read and figured out why. Mama Cosma frosts all her cookies so they say my mother's name with large Xs or strike symbols through them… or if not that, then symbols of raging fire. I feel really bad not eating her cookies because she always works so hard on them and they taste so good, but I feel like I'm betraying my mama when I do. My dad gets quiet and evasive about it, but… he just tells me not to worry. He says I can do what I want, and that if I don't want to eat them, he isn't going to force me. So there's that. I've seen my dad get confrontational before, but he's usually pretty tame around my grandma. I brought up the cookies to my mama once and she tersely said we'd "talk about it when I was older." So I asked Timmy while we were filling out coloring books and he told me everything. Mama Cosma can't stand my mama… Timmy says it's because my mom "took away her little boy" by marrying her, which is what led him to move out of her house and into a new place with my mom. It's weird. There's a nagging feeling in my gut that makes me suspect that's not the whole story. I'm not even sure I want the whole story, so… I guess I'll take my mama's word for it. She'll tell me "when I'm older."

They are brothers, your honor...

Mama Cosma is important to Cosmo. She may not like his wife, but she was also his sole caretaker for tens of thousands of years (knowing what we know about the war between Fairies and Anti-Fairies taking place 90k years ago, since "Balance of Flour" is its anniversary, and we know Cosmo and Wanda have only been together 10k years).

I like to think Cosmo wants Poof to know his grandma since Cosmo and Wanda were cut off for so long. Cosmo has a paternal grandpa on his canon family tree ("77 Secrets of The Fairly OddParents (Revealed)" - Grandpa Gonzo - but Cosmo lost his dad young and I don't think he's close to his grandfather.

Family's important to Wanda too - she's very close with her dad - and I think she and Cosmo both make sacrifices for each other's happiness and Poof's sake, even though it's hard on them both.

Again, I like to play Cosmo as a mama's boy trying to balance the complexities of his life... Allowing Wanda space away from his mother, but also letting Poof have the chance to meet his grandma, but also telling Poof that if he doesn't want to eat the I Hate Wanda cookies, he doesn't have to.

I also think it's worth nothing that Cosmo tried his dang hardest to be very positive about his pregnancy and childbirth.

- He had a lot of hormones messing with his mood (leading him to be confused when he batted Timmy into the basement while in bear form, then returned to fairy form and couldn't find him), but he was super grateful for his pregnancy (Handled his morning sickness without disgust & we see him apologize for inconveniencing Timmy several times). - He didn't even resent Timmy for snapping at him and telling him to get lost, which is nice since Cosmo has a history of petty grudges. During his contractions, he's the one telling Timmy and Wanda to remain calm and to enjoy "this beautiful moment." - Even while actively giving birth and clearly in a lot of pain, he insisted childbirth was a wonderful experience (fighting for a smile through his tears, his eyes red around the edges as he held and rubbed his belly... Doin' his BEST to get through it). - I think it's interesting how positive he was since sometimes he can be very pessimistic (Ex: "End of the Universe-ity" when he points out that "Fairy powers are totally lame and limited and will last 5 more years, tops" compared to Dark powers).

I have to showcase Cosmo's happy moment followed by /double blinks in confusion as his newborn is taken from him.

Every one of these faces is precious... He's a daddy! Thank goodness he has his precious baby! His hair is still extra ruffled from his stress and strain! He's in his hospital gown! His baby is his world! His godkid is delighted, and Cosmo is so happy to have his two boys in his life! ... oh no. help him.

Does Cosmo have his feet spread under the blankets the same way Peri, Anti-Cosmo, and Anti-Wanda all spread their feet in A New Wish to support heavy books? That's funny... He has a big baby in his lap...

I think... that covers my overview of How I Suggest Writing Cosmo In General:

- Mama's boy who's thoughtful, salty, a good dad, and doing his best to keep his marriage together because he loves his wife (although he does struggle to find the line for his teasing). He's not big on confrontation, though he'll stand up for his family when push comes to shove. - He does get jealous, but he and Wanda BOTH admit to having crushes outside their relationship; I don't think it's entirely fair to judge Cosmo for his fantasies without also judging Wanda, who's equally blatant in multiple episodes and has very questionable interests. I like to think they both know the other wouldn't really go for anyone else, though I do agree I'm not the biggest fan of these jokes. - He loves both Timmy and Poof. I didn't touch much on Timmy in this post since it's long and there are many good episodes of their dynamic (Timmy has a tendency to trust Cosmo and leap without looking). - Looks for role models to mimic. For better or worse, he grew up with Mama Cosma and Schnozmo, so he can be overbearing, sly, and rude. Loves his baby and his family very much. Very protective... Please let him take a grenade for them.

I think if I were to personally start my take on Cosmo from scratch, I'd ask this:

- What am I depicting Cosmo do? Who taught him this behavior? -> His mom was overprotective of him, so he probably read it in a book, got it from a kid at school, or picked it up form his mom or brother. - If it's none of these things... Why is he doing that action? (If he's older, maybe he got it from watching a godkid or reading a comic book). Is he following a social script from his culture? -> That's a good opportunity for worldbuilding. - He might've put in a lot of work, because something about the behavior is important to him (or was in his past). Since he's often associated with cars ("School's Out! The Musical" flashbacks, "Cosmonopoly," he's the car in "Odd Squad," his racecar bed in "Hassle In the Castle"), -> I've always imagined his car was the one thing he had that was truly his, and it represented freedom from his mom. After all, two episodes confirm he was driving in his younger years (and we know from "Transparents" that Wanda lacks experience)

These are good starting points if you're looking to develop a deep Cosmo portrayal with layers of backstory, though you can always keep it simple (especially for short one-shots).

I do think nailing down your interpretation of Cosmo's backstory is a critical aspect of deciding how you portray him in present day (as with any character). Everyone's vision of his story will be different, leading to their own take on Cosmo (and potentially Anti-Cosmo).

⭐ Here are some backstory jump-off points!

- "This Is Your Wish," "School's Out! The Musical," & "Cosmonopoly" are three episodes from the OG series episode covering the main story beats of Cosmo's backstory (Implied to have lost his dad young, grew up with his mom, forced into military school against his will, sunk Atlantis (9 separate times as of "Something's Fishy"), marrying Wanda). - "Double-Oh Schnozmo" debuts Cosmo's older brother, who clearly takes advantage of him. Schnozmo was off the radar enough that he didn't know Poof existed. Cosmo has great faith in and respect for his brother, and is heartbroken when he realizes Schnozmo took advantage of his trusting nature- There's a moment as he's talking through it that you can SEE the moment he breaks... That to me is quintessential Cosmo.

Cosmo, having just said "He must think I'm the biggest fool in the world!" and freezing up one beat before he hurls his ham into the forest and takes off to be alone... He knows. Their past, their fond memories... How much of it was real to Schnozmo? Does his brother even care for him? He splinters.

- Neither Cosmo's mom nor Wanda's dad knew their children were married until "Apartnership" and "Talkin' Trash" (respectively), though Blonda seemingly did in her debut. Cosmo implies at the end of "Talkin' Trash" that he wants to take over the Fairywinkle family business?? Also, it's heavily implied Big Daddy was going to let Cosmo stay with Wanda when Wanda moved home, and it's important to me...

- Speaking of family, Cosmo found out in "Cosmo Rules" he has von Strangle blood. In my canon, he trains to take over as Keeper of Da Rules after Jorgen after he leaves Timmy and Chloe (and it's probably something I'll carry for him to New Wish 'fics since he could be doing it in his godparent retirement era- especially since Jorgen's more mellow in New Wish). There's lots you can do with that!

- Anti-Cosmo was old enough to represent his people in a truce attempt during "Balance of Flour" (canonically 90k years pre-series, as it was the anniversary in that episode), heavily implying Cosmo and those older than him fought in this war.

- Cosmo claimed he never went to Spellementary School (in the episode of the same title), but in "Love Triangle," he confirms he had a role in the school play.

-> He becomes a "pageant parent" to Poof in this episode, hovering around him and making Poof run his lines over and over even though Poof is clearly uninterested (Wanda even using the words "You know Poof doesn't want to be in his school play"). He reminds me of his overbearing mama!

- "Truth or Cosmoquences" depicts Cosmo's high school years. Juandissimo claims he met Wanda during high school, they're confirmed to have dated, and Cosmo taunts Juandissimo in "Fairy Fairy Quite Contrary" by claiming he "lost his woman to an idiot."

-> Juandissimo is on good enough terms with Cosmo and Wanda that he attends, like, 5 different parties at their house in the OG series (including the baby shower Wanda's family didn't show up for) - I don't normally see people treat "Cosmonopoly" as canon, but I personally like it; I use the diner as the place Wanda started to fall for him since she wasn't very happy about being hit by his car. - Cosmo confirmed he designed his Cosmonopoly game to remind him of the day he met Wanda. He heavily implies he went to Pixie World to do his laundry that day (Pixie Woods is a location next to the laundromat). In my 'fics, I depict him sneaking out to get time for himself and using his laundry time to write his books. Funnily enough, Pixie World's laundromat was already established in my works even before this, because Rosencrantz works there. -> This potentially plays into the Pixies having Cosmo on their radar & Cosmo implying he met Sanderson sometime before "Pixies Inc." (i.e. he told Sanderson that if he "doesn't recognize him, it's probably the hat").

- Officially, Cosmo was designed with a 50s aesthetic. You could draw inspo by researching the 1950s. What hobbies or special events were popular?

- He's likely to have Megan Bacon trauma (a past godkid of his from "Past and the Furious"). Canonically, the past versions of Cosmo and Wanda are AWOL when Timmy looks for them in the past because they were hiding in her closet.

-> She's still alive (and fairly young) in present-day Dimmsdale, having gone on to open a notable restaurant seen in many episodes: the Cake 'N Bacon. In "Vicky Loses Her Icky," this restaurant was inexplicably across the street from Timmy's house.

-> Funnily enough, I don't think he really showed what I'd call "Vicky trauma" in the OG series, despite the fact she did mess with him. That's more of a New Wish thing, but I do think he had Megan trauma.

- In Season 5's "Hassle in the Castle," Cosmo and Wanda keep portraits of all their past godkids, including those they had poor relationships with (with these replicas of MaryAnn and Pierre specifically wanting revenge on them; MaryAnn claims they "deserted her."

Cosmo and Wanda instantly recognize MaryAnn when she's running around the castle, even though she killed Archduke Ferdinand and it's been a while since they've seen her. Even Cosmo? Who's not always the best with names? -> That said, we do know Cosmo snuck Mama Cosma into the castle in that episode and her door is down near the portraits. Him sneaking his mom in is a whole other can of worms. Also, they have Crocker's portrait in the Hall of Fame, not the Hall of Infamy!

- And if you want to go all the way back to Season 0, Cosmo and Wanda claim in "The Zappys" that their godparenting career is "speckled with failures," which Cosmo seems sad to admit.

- In both the OG series and New Wish, Cosmo and Wanda have separate beds. Cosmo's is a racecar:

Hilariously, this is one of the episodes Wanda blatantly tells Cosmo she's daydreaming about Juandissimo. For all the bickering and irritation and "the ol' ball and chain" and "naggy wife" jokes... I do think it's funny that they're both completely open about having crushes on other people. Totally fair if people have a strong dislike for that part of their characterization, but I can't help but respect the sheer confidence and closeness they have to admit those things and that it won't ruin their relationship.

-> We know from "Stupid Cupid" that Cosmo finds Juandissimo hitting on Wanda annoying, but lets him flirt with Wanda because he keeps sending her food, which Cosmo eats because Wanda doesn't want.

-> Shout out to Cosmo in "Truth or Cosmoquences" when Juandissimo hit on Wanda and Cosmo instantly broke character from his façade as Britney Britney's husband and shoved himself between them... and then had to back down when Juandissimo innocently asked why he was so huffy about him merely asking for a dance with his unmarried secretary 🥺

Season 6's "Wishy Washy" gave us teen Cosmo and Wanda, where we see Cosmo with braces and a skateboard. He confirms to Timmy that at this point in his life, Wanda wasn't his type (because "he likes 'em with a little more swirl in the curl.")

I've always thought it was funny that Cosmo likes to say "swirly" when he's absentminded, like "Portals are swirly." Man's always thinkin' 'bout swirls...

I drew him and teen Anti-Cosmo once!

- After Cosmo started disguising his nose with magic ("The Boy Who Would Be Queen"), but before Anti-Cosmo chose to do the same. - Specifically, Cosmo went through a rebellious teen phase (slipping away from his mom to go play & later pick up a job at the diner, planning to buy a car himself). - Anti-Cosmo became excessively devoted to my zodiac-themed Anti-Fairy culture (He's wearing a shirt depicting the Fae zodiac & wearing bracelets to symbolize being born in the year of Water).

It's very important to me that teen Cosmo and Wanda refused to play along with Timmy until he uses reverse psychology on them by insisting they're not meant for each other. And that SNAPS them to attention... At their core, they've always had their rebellious streaks. They do not like being bossed around.

Honestly, if you're only going to pick one thing to focus on... I think the most critical detail to consider when writing Cosmo and Wanda is that they eloped without telling their parents. If you think about how they left their lives of being coddled behind for each other, you can take that anywhere.

Anti-Cosmo's backstory is pretty unknown, but you can use parts of Anti-Cosmo to build a take on Cosmo as well.

For example, Anti-Cosmo's mother might be very harsh to him since Mama Cosma coddles Cosmo. Or, you could argue his mother's completely absent from his life since Cosmo's is always around. I like to think she really wanted Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda to get married. I personally play her as both physically abusive and emotionally overbearing. Cosmo crushed on Wanda for a long time, but I really enjoy slow burn A.C./A.W. as they slowly move from being annoyed by or disgusted with each other to admiring, respecting, and loving each other. I gave Anti-Cosmo bipolar disorder (due to his extremely high-energy moments in "When Nerds Collide" (where he rapidly flies in a circle 13 times in a row while still talking... yes, I went frame by frame and counted) and "Balance of Flour" (where Anti-Cosmo was unable to sit still while in disguise and revealed himself in front of everyone by running off and laughing). In his other episodes, he's in a mild state. -> Fun Fact: Technically, Anti-Cosmo has a magical parallel of bipolar rather than what humans have, and he treats it by rubbing Fairy pheromones on his face. In-universe, Fairies consider him to have divus displacement disorder (D3) and consider him "a Fairy in an Anti-Fairy's body" while Anti-Fairies believe he was born with his soul intertwined with a nature spirit's (whom he called Clarice in his youth). A.C. has a habit of drifting near H.P., who has strong-smelling pheromones. Anyway... My Cosmo has depression - especially postpartum depression - as a parallel. He struggles with a lot of personal issues, especially regarding his magical strength (Ex: turning his dad into a fly as a baby, leading his dad to never be seen again in the series).

Here are detailed examples from the backstory I gave my Cosmo because... I like talking about him:

Cloudlands AU Cosmo - #ridspoilers

Major spoilers up to the end of where we currently are in the 130 Prompts; if you've made it to "Sentry," you've seen it

I treat "77 Secrets of the Fairly OddParents (Revealed)" as canon, meaning Cosmo's deepest secret - that he's the author of Astrophysics For Morons and several other books - is something he has ISSUES telling people about... which I tie into "Wishology"'s canon of portraying stars as ancient Fairies.

Yeah... Cosmo writing stuff that his culture hates does not go well for him in my work :'D

Cosmo struggles a lot with his love of books, hence why this is a secret for him. In Cloudlands AU canon, Fairies tend to have a brawn over brains culture and Anti-Fairies a brains over brawn one; Mama Cosma sent him to military school against his will to try to push him towards the brawn culture.

During / after the war with the Anti-Fairies ("Balance of Flour"), Fairies weren't exactly charmed by brains or Anti-Fairy culture sympathizers, and Cosmo - who used to write political commentaries and kids' books that broke culture down in easy to understand ways - became an instant target, leading us to this scene:

"Let them come for me." Cosmo raised the point of his wand against his temple. "These memories are all that I have left. Look, it's simple. You don't want my insights on politics and religion leaking any further into the world, and I don't want you in my life ever again. So if you take one step forward, I'll blast them out here and now. You can tell Adelinda that you were left to scrape my time keys off the floor." "So I am the bad guy now? We've opened the castle for refugees like you! Art, history, all the science you could ask for… The charts, the maps!" Cosmo bobbed gently up and down, but otherwise didn't move. He didn't even blink, the wand still pressed thumb-deep into his head. "Yeah, right! You've von Strangled every scrap of success I ever had out of my hands. Why would this be any different?" A scowling Jorgen shifted forward then and Cosmo threw out a hand. "No further! Or I'll wipe my memories here and now!" Jorgen braced his staff against a jutting piece of the wall, leaning beside it with folded arms. "The revolutionaries are out there hunting for those who threaten society with radical ideas, Cosmo. Your stories of gas balls and tongue lashes towards the Council are the reason you've landed in their sights. You can burn your books, but erasing private memories hurts no one but yourself. Plus, I can still take you to the Pink Castle anyway. It seems a very foolish trade you are fighting to make." Cosmo narrowed his eyes. "But when you get me behind those walls, you're going to scramble my mind up anyway, right? Because you work for the Fairy Council? At least if I blast myself, then I don't let you get to have the satisfaction…"

"Repeat"

After this point, Cosmo started erasing his memories on the regular and became a lot more unstable and unhappy with himself.

That said, I do think the war helped give him a purpose, lifting him a bit from the depression of his younger years over missing his father. He finally felt like he had something worth fighting for and was making up for the harm he caused, now out there protecting his people.

It's around this point in time that Cosmo - looking for a new career and now a smidgen more confident in himself (and looking for a new passion in life) - switched to the godparenting major, where he ended up doing a trial program with Wanda for Erg.

Erg being the godkid they claimed to have 50k years ago in an episode where they're celebrating their 10k years of being godparents, implying Erg was a special one-off case... Checks out since 50k years ago would've been well before they were married ("The Past and the Furious")

Cosmo grew increasingly infatuated with Wanda from here on out, and learning to be a godparent also kicked off his love for children.

I like to play Wanda as "better with" wish-themed playtime and adventures while little kids tend to think of Cosmo as "more fun" when they're playing with toys. He's pretty imaginative. I like to think Wanda's humor is high-brow and flies over little kid heads (Depending on their age). One of my favorite headcanons is that Cosmo owns a lot of toys and likes to leave one with each godkid. Probably a bunch of toys his mom gave him since she coddled and fawned over him so much, so he's rehoming them.

So /claps hands. We've set Cloudlands AU Cosmo up to want a baby. Can u see where this is going?

I personally treat the baby H.P. and Anti-Cosmo raised as 100% canon. I made him the counterpart of the candle model!

Here's some 2018 art, though I need to redraw / redesign now that my art skills have improved. Btw, I saw someone say they were sad this screenshot was fake, but :'D... I assure you, it's 100% real. It's in Jorgen's presentation of "Fairly Odd Baby" when he specifically uses the word "raised" to speak of Anti-Fairies and Pixies with children, and he shows this photo plus a flashing sign labeling H.P. specifically as "Bad," implying the kid has a connection to Anti-Cosmo in species, but H.P. was the real threat. I don't know why they drew H.P. with those glasses or added shading either, but it's real.

Let's talk Westley first! If you remember he's living with Blonda and showed up in "I Just Live Here..." congratulations! Poof slept in his room when he stayed with his Fairywinkle family for spring break that year.

He leans in to kiss me on both cheeks. I blink up at him, wide-eyed, and he pats my shoulder instead of ruffling my hair. Even though I have really, really ruffle-able purple hair, so I'm kind of glad he refrained (I don't like anyone but my parents and Timmy touching my hair, except I sometimes let Gary do it, and I really hate combing out the tangles). "Go back to sleep, cuginetto. We can talk more in the morning."

He was raised by Jorgen and Binky, specifically (playing into "Fairly Odd Baby" canon where Jorgen tries to take Poof from Cosmo and Wanda, telling them he'll raise him and will only let them visit him for one day every other millennium, plus Jorgen shows himself holding a baby in his slideshow presentation).

Binky dropped out of godparenting to be a stay-at-home caretaker for him on Jorgen's behalf.

Reminder: Binky and Jorgen are a gyne-drone pair. They don't live together, but they're basically in a QPR The Origin of the Pixies chapter "Inner Workings" is a good peek at their dynamic (back in the day), though H.P. refers to Binky by his surname (Abdul).

Westley is extremely bitter towards his bio parents and, while he respects Binky, doesn't particularly like him or Jorgen (or Cupid) as all three played a part in removing his chance at "a real family." He cut ties and changed his family name to Periwinkle.

AKA, before Poof was born, Westley went into modeling in Fairywood and Blonda took him under her wing. Blonda considers him a nephew

Poof looks up to him a lot names things after Westley - notably his egg baby in "Two and a Half Babies" - and that was canon in my work for years before A New Wish, sdkflj...

If I had a nickel for everyone in this family who changed their name to Periwinkle...

Frayed Knots is a 'fic about how Anti-Cosmo got to the point that he ended up with Talon - Westley's anti-fairy counterpart - and why H.P. is the one helping him raise him... Short answer? Anti-Cosmo wrecked his life for that child and a lot of people have issues with him because of it :'D But H.P. took him in...

Talon sneak peeks from late Frayed Knots!

“Yep. Talon, your dad’s out of it. Which is perfect, because that means I can do this.” H.P. clamped his hands around Talon’s waist and tossed him into the air. Talon squealed with surprise and apparent delight, and H.P. caught him when he came back down. “You are adorable. Oh yes you are, my Cú Chulainn. Yes you are.” “Again!” Talon cheered. “Nope.” There was a pat like H.P. placing small anti-fairy feet back on the floor. “One free sample per pup. If you want more services, you have to pay for them.” “Again!” H.P. sighed good-naturedly. “All right. One more time, Cú Chulainn. But, only if I can trust you to keep this our little secret.” “No! I’m going to brag to all the others that you tossed me twice. I had my fingers crossed about the promise.” “Oh, you’ve got me there,” H.P. told him in monotone. He rustled Talon’s hair with his huge hand. “Go play.” Talon trotted away, laughing. I clenched my claws deeper in the ruffled fabric. He never laughed for me like that.

&

Talon stomped his foot. “I don’t wanna go back with you! I want to stay here with my other dad!” H.P. and I looked at each other. Then he dropped his attention to Talon again, bending on one knee. “Talon, you’re adopted.” “Really,” I cried, “you’re starting with that?”

Also, shout-out to older Talon in Pink and Gray-

"I hate the inheritance traditions!" Talon's wings exploded behind him, flapping wildly. "It's not fair! You weren't even supposed to become High Count after Anti-Bryndin. Everyone only agreed to let you lead the Anti-Fairies because you have green eyes, but when it's me, your son, who should inherit after you, they're not going to listen, are they? They're not! You don't want me to be your heir! You only keep me around because I'm the only anti-fairy who's been born since the fairy baby mandate cut off all your other options. Or else you'd just dump me on H.P. forever so you don't have to look at me anymore and think about all your old mistakes. You want another kid because I was born with red eyes like some kind of commoner!" "Talon, enough." Anti-Cosmo swept his arm to the side. "You'll wake the hotel. Worshipers have traveled a long way to visit the Water Temple." "Look at me! Look me in these eyes and tell me it's not true!" Anti-Cosmo clenched his teeth, but didn't glance away. "I said, that's enough now. I broke the law to give you a healthy life, child. One would think you'd respect me for that." "The people," Talon snarled, stabbing a claw vaguely in the direction of Anti-Fairy World, "should accept me as your heir, no matter what color my eyes are." "I don't disagree, lad, and I don't intend to argue with you. However, you must realize that it isn't within my power to alter the expectations of an entire society." He stepped forward, fur bristling. "Bet the gossip's true! Bet you were unfaithful. Bet you had me with some hired anti-will o' the wisp for a handful of coins. Is that where I came from? Are you even my real father? Do you ever plan to tell me anything?" Anti-Cosmo tightened his grip on his wand, but regarded the furious anti-fairy with cool collection. His hand twitched, but he kept his arm low. "I will not argue with you, Talon, and I will not succumb to your goading. I am your father, Anti-Wanda is your mother, and despite your legitimacy, you did not inherit our spirit-blessed eyes. That is all you need to know, apart from the fact that if you do not hold your tongue, you will lose your inheritance tonight. Do not try my patience further." Talon simmered a moment more, then swung around and stalked away down the hall. "Telford Anti-Westley Anti-Lunifly. You have yet to be dismissed. Don't you dare turn your back on your High Count while he's trying to converse with you!" "'Trying,'" Talon said, and kept walking.

& "Health Bars"-

"What did you bring me?" Talon asks, looking up. Anti-Cosmo's eyebrows shoot into his hair. "'Bring you?' Why, I wasn't even aware you would be here tonight." Talon sticks out his tongue. "H.P. always brings me stuff when I see him." "True," I acknowledge. In my head, Anti-Cosmo's hitpoints drop into yellow. Anti-Cosmo gives the younger anti-fairy a pitying look. "Then he's spoiled you into being a selfish little brat, I'm afraid." And to me, narrow-eyed, "Thanks for that, actually." "Whoa. Hey. It's not my fault you deprive him of modern technology when he goes to stay in Anti-Fairy World. We agreed from the start: If you want to raise him Zodii, then I get to expose him to pop culture. Go ahead– ask him about memes. I've trained him well."

I just love him and my messy 'fic drama so much... Talon, my beloved.

Because this is a notable part of Anti-Cosmo's backstory - especially the conflict Anti-Cosmo and Talon have - it played into me giving Cosmo that aforementioned dream of wanting kids, which led me to scenes like:

"So, when can I meet Nixie?" Saffron frowned in the rear-view mirror. "Oh, did I not send the letter? You sounded like you'd read it over the call. You seemed fine with it." "L… letter?" "I changed my mind about adopting her out. Jorgen said he'd waive my file at the station if I trade her to him instead of you." He slammed so hard on the brakes, Saffron's glossy lip tube flew past the windshield.

"Repeat" - Cosmo's failed attempt to bring Nixie into his life... Nonetheless, he didn't give up

So... I found an episode with an interesting detail, and I really latched onto it and built my images of Anti-Cosmo and Cosmo around it. Simple enough start!

I lucked out in finding something I thought was super interesting to delve into (especially at a time no one else in the fandom had mentioned it... or at least not in 'fics tagged H.P., because I think I read all those and most if not all of the Anti-Cosmo ones available back then, at least on the sites I used, haha).

Even though I don't consider "The Fairy Beginning" canon as a whole (due to it violating too much established canon), it's still canon in my works that Cosmo stayed with his aunt and uncle for a while and lived under their stairs, which is... hoo boy.

"No, I didn't! I didn't do anything wrong!" Cosmo tightened his arms around Westley's back, beneath the baby's tiny fluttering wings. "It's not me or my fault, okay? It's just… just… Look, it wasn't supposed to happen this way!" Holding babies left him breathless, and Cosmo tried to shift his weight to hold him a little better. Westley kicked him in the chest. "I know I can't keep him, but you can't let Jorgen take him away." "Oh heavens, that's a real baby. There is a fairy baby in my house right now. I'm gonna be sick." Blonda floated backwards, one hand on her stomach and one on her mouth. The sleeve of her robe slid down to her elbow, dangling like a fish fin. She turned a full circle, pacing in the air, then swept back and grabbed him by the shoulders. "The A.B.B.'s been out for weeks. How hasn't Jorgen found you yet? Tell me you haven't been on the run alone. At least say you have another friend in the world besides my sister and me." "O-okay… Uh, we haven't been by ourselves all this time. Is that the right answer?" Blonda leaned her head back against the whitewashed wall. "Oh, Darkness devour me…" Cosmo bit his lip. "We were staying under my aunt and uncle's stairs for a while, b-but I know they're getting close…" As the breathing lines clenched up around his throat, his fingers curled into the yellow towel a little tighter. "Please, Blonda… Can we stay? And can you help me find milk without showing my face at a store? I ran out, and Jorgen wants to take him away so he can teach him to fight and bully everyone. I can't watch that happen! And… and Cupid will just throw him in a cage for the rest of his life. And I'm scared! If Jorgen takes Westley to his fort, then Anti-Cosmo will waltz straight in and waltz out with him again. A-and babies can't waltz!" "What… Where did you even find…? Babies are illegal in our subspecies without Eros consent. And the Eroses never consent outside the exhibit stock. Did you break into the Nest and take one of their kids?" "Blonda, I… couldn't just let them…"

"Repeat"

And from there, we get this art of Cosmo, Westley, and Nixie:

And this bit from "Told You So"-

"He went for milk," Florensa repeated as though in a daze. Sanderson… sighed. He replaced the silk cover on his crystal and dropped his eyes to his desk. Had his elbows always been this pointy? His arms looked thin and scrawny, barely able to hold his weight. He leaned against them anyway and brought his eyes to hers again. "Forgive me for the small talk. My question may be useful to you… Has your son experienced a major drop in energy? An increase in time spent sleeping? A lack of interest in his usual favored activities? I can't imagine he's in the most whimsical of moods right now." "How do you mean?" "Well… Last time I saw him was at Fairy Con. He floated on sagging wings, looking distressed out of his mind. H.P. had me report it. Even for a fairy, I noticed he expressed considerable emotion during Jorgen's speech. Dm. Cosma, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I think I heard your son ask if he could go back on forget-a-cin. Is this true? Pardon me if I am insensitive with this subject, but… How is he handling the separation from his kids?" There it was… cold and dark between them, like a smooth stone dropped into an unmoving pond. Florensa's blue eyes sharpened like snakeupine quills. "Those… those LEECHES under Jorgen's wing are not my son's children! That miserable SHREW forced responsibility on my precious boy! Oh, I'll wring his little blue NECK until he turns purple from it all!" Sanderson stared blankly back at her, too tired to argue. Now would have been a really good time to have his shades. Could she read his thoughts from his eyes? He tried again. "Has Cosmo spoken lately about the kids? I seem to remember he tried to disappear after Westley was born. Fairy World put out an A.B.B. It wouldn't surprise me if he still thinks about them sometimes. Perhaps he went looking for them. Or went to challenge Jorgen." If Jorgen had crushed him into oblivion with one of his mighty fists, that too might explain the shattered wand. Florensa's wings bristled up. "We don't talk about the kids at home," she snapped. "It wouldn't be good for his health! My son is… He's… he's… Well, he's been under so much stress in the workplace! You know how it is, particularly at his age. I just hope he's not been hurt." Hurt? Sanderson grimaced. It was all too easy to imagine Cosmo flattened into pancake form if he set foot anywhere near Westley or Phoenix. The pair were still the talk of Fairy World to this day. Two common fairy babies… the youngest of their subspecies. The first ones born in 370,000 years. They had to be 40 millennia by now. Jorgen bragged about them at every social opportunity, like he'd finally filled a void deep inside him that godchildren never could. And Anti-Cosmo, of course… Well, Anti-Cosmo had been elated with how things turned out. That was sarcasm. Ha ha. Ha ha. But still true, to some degree. Emotions can be hilarious. From the way he fawned over Anti-Westley (Well… "Talon") with his hands clasped against his cheek, you wouldn't think Anti-Fairy World's bachelor king actually lost his first wife over the whole affair. Or his daughters, for that matter… Anti-Saffron had taken both Anti-Miranda and Anti-Phoenix when she left him. As far as the media could guess, the High Count lived by gritting his fangs to bear it.

Aaaaaaaand this plotline in 130 Reasons Why I'm Fairy Trash! :')

"A firstborn will always have more magic than their siblings. Up to two layers of magic can wrap themselves around the core. If the child is the father's firstborn, they'll receive one extra layer, and if the child is their mother's, they'll receive two." Poof's head snaps up like a spring. His hand jolts after it. "But it's okay if they don't… right?" His question seems to catch Serena off guard. "Uh. Well, there's nothing wrong with not having the layers. Younger siblings can be equally as healthy as the firstborn. The extra magic is simply a small benefit the first receives." "Um, what happens if you're a firstborn who doesn't have extra core layers?" "Then that person isn't actually a firstborn." "… What? Are there any exceptions?" "To the firstborn bonus? I don't believe there are any. At least, I've never heard of one." Denzel keeps his head low, scratching out notes, until the silence between the two fairies drags on way too long. Uhh… He looks up again. Poof stares back at his grandmother, shock bleeding his face out to white. She hovers at the front of the room wearing the same look of confusion that Denzel himself might have shown to dancing chipmunks on a ceiling fan. "That's… not true," Poof croaks back. His voice wavers on a string. He drops his head to the desk, wrapping his stubby arms around his head. Um.

"Looking Back"

"Am I adopted?" Poof blurted, not answering the actual question. Auntie Wanda's brows shot off her head. She looked at Cosmo. Cosmo stared back at her, wide-eyed and frozen

&

And he laughed, throwing his arms out too the side. "Poof, do you even hear yourself? Or did you just flunk anatomy class? Only firstborns get extra core layers." "… Aren't we firstborns?" "Do… do you not know?" The mental damage Poof took after those words slammed straight into his brain a second later. Foop flinched back, gripping his hair in one fist. Poof's heartbeat spiked- hot, fast, and undeniable, because a cold cloud crashed into Foop's chest like a clenching fist. A spark of purple fire flared like a spooked rabbit in the depths of Poof's eyes. He's not joking. "Has your dad not talked to you about this?" Gary made an attempt to suggest they call it quits for the day. Foop only half heard him. "Poof," he spluttered, "what? You know my Vatajasa name is Fry-sün d'ichord. Did you think I use the title 'second child; second son' ironically!?"

"Sentry"

Finley was just, like… taunting me and saying that I'm adopted." The memory flares tears in my eyes. I sniff, sort of pathetically, and wipe my eyes on the back of my hand. "But I'm not… I'm a Cosma and a Fairywinkle." "Adopted," Big Daddy repeats. He flicks his eyes from my crown to shoes. They coast along the freckles down my sides. He shakes his head then. Firm. "You wouldn't have the gene for lateral spots if you weren't a Fairywinkle. Your pheromones match the family's too. Cherry almond. Even if yours are underdeveloped, I can sniff that on you from here. Forget about it, Poof… There's no doubt about it. My little cannoli Wanda is your mother, as sure as I'm your granddaddy."

"I Just Live Here"

😬 ... Yeaaaaaaah...... I've been planning this since 2016.

So, hmm.. I wonder why I drew this during my music meme years ago...

Yeah... Yeeeeeeaaaaah... That's rough, buddy.

Also, no matter the universe, Anti-Cosmo is notoriously bad at paying child support and consistently has a rougher relationship with Talon than H.P. does :'D

I also want to point out that when you're introducing characters and major plot points, take the time to consider how they fit into the world and play off other characters! Talon and Westley influence a ton of people, including Anti-Cosmo, H.P., Anti-Wanda, Cosmo, Wanda, Poof, Foop, Blonda, Big Daddy, Jorgen, Binky, Cupid, Sanderson, each other... etc. And all this from two photos of two characters who were onscreen for mere seconds, several seasons apart, and don't have speaking lines or even animation...

The big follow-up & "tying loose ends" 'fic for Poof's "Am I adopted?" anxiety is the upcoming Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Pixies - named after a song Wanda wrote, according to "77 Secrets of The Fairly OddParents (Revealed)."

It's Poof POV and parallels Foop's war POV in "You'll Never Know." I'm looking forward to posting it, but it's massive and - despite everything this post covers - still contains a lot of major Frayed Knots spoilers related to Cosmo's trauma that we didn't even touch on here, so... it's my baby. Huge personal favorite, though <3

The night before you sent this Ask, I actually sketched potential animatic panels for the Big Fish song "Showdown," even though I don't plan to make an actual animatic. It's been on my Poof inspo playlist for YEARS and was haunting me...

btw, if you like this song... I'm not telling you to do anything, but I AM telling you the songs for this musical regularly disappear from YouTube and have been on and off for many years

Cosmo Wrap-Up

So... [inhales].

When it comes to writing a fan portrayal of a character, there's no replacing doing your own personal study, whatever that means to you - watching episodes, reading 'fics, studying other people's analyses - as you strain out your own version of him.

I think backstory is a really good jumping point for deciding what kinds of things you want to do with Cosmo, and how it ties into how he acts in canon.

Obviously, there's a lot going on in Cloud!Cosmo's backstory... and this despite the fact he's one of the characters I rarely put onscreen. He's one of those "characters who haunt the narrative" for me.

... I barely touched on Nixie drama in this post, but if you can guess where THAT'S going... congratulations! It's been heavily foreshadowed in my lore since the start and is super messed-up :'D.

Frayed Knots, my cruel beloved...

My Cosmo is super specific, and the many intricate layers at play here definitely influence how I write him. Which is a fantastic jumping off point for me if I ever get stuck.

Key points that come from the backstory I've given him include:

- Cosmo growing up without a lot of life experience, so he looks to others for advice. This can easily lead him to trouble if he follows the wrong crowd. - Tension between Cosmo and Mama Cosma, especially in regards to her being annoyed at Wanda and wanting Cosmo to marry someone who's "better for him" - Cosmo doesn't give up easily & is willing to take matters into his own hands. However, he does have his breaking point and massive amounts of trauma and anxiety, which he covers by wiping memories from his head - Cosmo is overprotective of his car because it's one of the only things in his life that's exclusively his and which he has control over (Setting us up for drama in "Repeat" when Poof panics about how he crashed the car... which spirals Poof into his vegan lifestyle, where he punishes himself by cutting meat from his diet despite being a carnivore, so that's a whole thing) - Cosmo is smart in a very specific way related to the stars, cars, energy, electricity, and the Fairy baby ban history... things that aren't necessarily common for godkids to ask about. Also, some random smarts leak through his fractured memories - Cosmo struggling with self-hatred because "he used to be smarter" and gets upset he can't remember things well - Cosmo in hiding (Ex: Only pays with cash to avoid being traced; I have an upcoming scene where he starts panicking about how he's slow and holding up the line and Poof steps in to help) - Cosmo's memory problems (Regularly on forget-a-cin) - Cosmo being clingy towards Wanda and/or struggling to make friends and trust others (especially in academia) - Cosmo's postpartum depression (Struggles with snappiness, loneliness, and fear that Poof doesn't like him) - Cosmo and Wanda having their second kid (Dusty) very early compared to the usual distance between siblings in Fairy society - Cosmo desperate to soak up time with his kids / godkids (Leading him to grant Timmy's secret wish to freeze time - Canon event) - Cosmo and Wanda being really anxious about Poof's relationship with Goldie, who comes from a species known for "tempting drakes away from their parents to join harems" (à la "Opinion" when they try to discourage Poof from dating her) -> And the change of heart Cosmo and Wanda have later in "All I Ever Wanted" when they tell Poof they support him and don't want him to elope and cut them from his life like they cut their parents. -> And Cosmo being extremely "dad" and gentle with Poof in that piece when Poof has his anxiety attack - Cosmo will absolutely have a breakdown if you ask him directly about Westley or Nixie, which is why he and Wanda are waiting until Poof is older to bring it up.

Actually, here's a scene about that last one!

“My friends said I’m not a firstborn because I don’t have the extra magic layers around my core. Am I really your first kid?” My dad screamed. No words, just a scream. I jerked back, and he whirled around and slammed his hand into the wall. It slid down, and he went with it in a shaking mess on the floor. Mom took my elbow and guided me from the room, promising we’d talk later after she made sure he was all right. I hovered in the next room, hands clapped to my mouth, not sure what to do. That evening, Mama came to find me. “Poof-” “I don’t want to know,” I blurted, plugging my ears. I clenched my eyes shut. “Just tell me I’m a weirdo who was born without the extra layers. If I’m not your first, I don’t want to know.”

Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Pixies

:'D ...

[Laughs in Frayed Knots] - Cosmo honey, you've got a big storm comin'...

For anyone wanting to write Cosmo, I suggest finding some moments from the show (OG series, New Wish, whatever) that you find interesting and want to delve into (or that you use to define your personal view of Cosmo- Who he is; what you like about him).

You might end up wanting to write a backstory 'fic, and if you don't, at least you'll have a good idea of what you envision his story being like, which can shape creative interpretation of his character.

A loose outline, thought web, or note sheet might be helpful- I usually make Tumblr posts or write one-shots to work through my thoughts.

Obviously, a lot of the stuff I listed above are things the series never delves into. I like the freedom of making stuff up for Cosmo, exploring what makes him tick in my own way, but there's nothing wrong with keeping it simple like "Well, my Cosmo was a small town kid who didn't really leave home until he fell in with Wanda."

Whatever you do, I'm sure it'll be interesting! Feel free to tag me when you post your 'fic so I can check it out <3

Other Cosmo writing resources:

- My brief bio of Cosmo

- Let's Talk Cosmo - Early character study

- My "Cosmo can be a tricky character to write" video clips + my analysis of them (I always meant to do one of these for other characters, but never got around to it~)

- Personal analysis on Cosmo's depression - I write Anti-Cosmo with bipolar disorder and this has been an interesting parallel.

-> Cosmo's postpartum depression is particularly fun for me and was glimpsed in "Repeat" flashbacks where he was hiding emotions from Wanda & working through his "Why would the baby like me if I don't even like me?" struggles. I always wanted to make its own 'fic about it, but it was very depressing, so I stopped :'D whodathunk...

- I like this scene in "I Dream of Cosmo" where Cosmo is trying to pull the reins in on Timmy's Dad :)

- I also like this scene from "Desperate Without Housewives," which takes place in Season 9 (after Jorgen stops wiping Crocker's memories in Season 7*. In this scene, now that Crocker's memory isn't wiped anymore, Cosmo blatantly outs himself as a fairy and Crocker just :|

* very heavily implied; my interpretation of the ending is that Jorgen actively exposed Crocker's relatives to Fairies to power the Big Wand and why would he erase Crocker's memory if he's doing that, but it's not technically confirmed... However, the episodes after this do seem to depict Crocker extremely sure of Timmy's fairies, no longer theorizing, and Kevin... also seems to have some memory immunity? Unclear, but if Cosmo was acting Like That in "Chip Off the Old Crock" because he was trying to pull the same joke with Kevin he pulled with Denzel, that's flippin' hilarious. But Timmy's Dad doesn't know and I like to think Crocker is covering for Cosmo in front of him in this scene when he nervously laughs Cosmo's comment off

Characters I Find Tricky to Write

I'll try to keep this section short since this post got out of hand, but thanks for asking!

I do think Cosmo is very hard to write. I'd probably say he's the most difficult for me. I can talk all I want about what I think his character IS, but that doesn't mean I know what to make him SAY in any given scene- especially considering I tend to write drama stories, and that's not a good playing field for him (He's better with adventure or romance or humor).

Secret knowledge I have from a close study of Cosmo I did once upon a time - he favors long sentences, not choppy ones. I feel like it's easy to default to "This character doesn't have deep thoughts, so I'll just have them say something quick and random." I'm sure Cosmo has his fair share of short comments, but recognizing his long sentences changed something for me. Made me think more carefully about how specific he's going to be.

I think he worked great in "Repeat" when he was the POV character and had to move things along - he had no choice & his internal dialogue was able to cover for the characterization his dialogue couldn't - but I don't do well when he's a side character and I need him to "say something funny" to sound like Cosmo.

Not one of my favorites to write, but that's because I like making characters clash and have long conversations about complicated topics. Cosmo isn't necessarily a fun one for that, or to see get in an emotionally heated situation with. I think he'd just leave... ... but I liked "Repeat" when he COULDN'T leave us, so we were privy to all the secrets he wouldn't say.

You might be surprised, but I genuinely like writing Anti-Cosmo long and rambly- I get to do this in Frayed Knots (which is a completely unique narration tone from Origin of the Pixies, which is informative but blunt).

I especially liked Reedfilter Rules Chapter 2, when he uses some VERY heavy (as in flowery) and long-winded language for his internal commentary. Sadly... a lot of people aren't fans of reading that kind of thing :'D And I do not blame them... but I enjoyed it.

That chapter took YEARS of on and off attention to finalize because I wanted him to be perfect before I locked myself into a certain style for the rest of the AU, but honestly... I'm not sure I can - or should bother to - mimic that for future chapters.

idk. I think it's fun, but my goal was to write RR!Anti-Cosmo's internal narration distinct from Clouds!Anti-Cosmo's, and I think I succeeded. Just not sure if it's worth doing twice to that extreme.

One of the comments Frayed Knots tends to get is that it's exhausting... not only for length of its own merit, but also because Anti-Cosmo rambles about worldbuilding and it can make readers free pressured to retain the info and/or it just confuses or bores them. And I totally get that...

... but also, I cannot emphasize enough that Knots' style is like that on purpose. Have you met this man? He SHOULD be bothering you- he's REALLY annoying and he talks a lot. And also, if you get lost along the way, I think he'd find that amusing and would do it more. lmao. get wrecked.

/whispers loudly - His whole thing is that his mom and stepdad think he's annoying and they're not especially nice to him - in fact, they both outright abuse him - and they don't really feel bad about it because he is just THAT bothersome, which is why he falls in with people like H.P., Blonda, and Anti-Wanda - who "just get him" - down the line. Hilariously, Wanda does not have patience for him... as much as he has a crush on her and wishes she did.

Sorry to everyone who takes his longwindedness as clumsy, frustrating writing. You're correct, but so am I. If I have to sit here in his annoying head for 8 years of writing this 'fic, you have to sit here with me <3

Genuinely though, rambling is A.C.'s thing and I like doing that in his other POV stories, like "Yellow Flower Number 9" (linked below). He literally stops shopping to dump his woes on a cashier and I think that's very fitting for him. Man loves his monologues...

I write a lot of H.P.-Anti-Cosmo interactions, but because I strive for canon-compliancy, I can't allow H.P. to call him by his "A.C." nickname until he canonically gives it to him in "Fairly Odd Baby" (A.C. seems surprised by the nickname, but says he likes it).

- You wouldn't think it would matter, but the amount of times I've had to sigh and fix a draft with the nickname is not 5. - Compare with "Yellow Flower Number 9," where he calls him A.C. like 4 times in 20 minutes, lol.

Hmm, hardest character... Ooh, I think it's Jorgen. I really like how I wrote him in "Whatever," specifically here-

Jorgen's hand shot forward. He grabbed Juan in his fist and squeezed until the fairy shrieked and started spitting pleas. Then Jorgen jerked his hand over to Seneca. She flinched back. "I am not here to wait around and answer all your pathetically obvious questions. That is what he is for. You can ask him. As for me, I have two appendixes to separate and a great deal of paperwork to do." He dropped Juan to the floor, then crashed his walking stick (Star staff, sun staff) down too. The force of it sent a shockwave across the clinic.

- but I'm extremely self-conscious of him in general. I don't use him much.

Oh, Chloe takes a ton of attention. She has a super specific speech pattern of using contractions to start her many, many follow-up sentences to her thoughts (She builds on her thoughts and elaborates in a series of addendums).

She speaks her mind and is kind of "deadpan snark" about it, but in a happy way. She also has very weird phrasings. Fascinating.

I wrote about her speech pattern HERE, but she's unique for sure. I'm quite pleased with how I wrote her in "This Is a Box."

I also think Vicky can be tricky to balance realism with what a threat she is... particularly if you're trying not to lampshade the consequences of her actions (although the show does). I look forward to writing her in combination with Dale especially. I have free reign to push Dale way past where I can realistically push Timmy without Timmy reacting, so I think that might be fun.

I had a lot of fun writing Trixie in Chapter 4 of Come What May, when Kevin meets her at Shirley's Pizzeria (and I enjoyed Tad, Chad, and Veronica both in that chapter and the previous). Kevin meeting the popular kids was one of my favorite topics in general :)

I struggle with Kevin flipping from high energy to extremely self-deprecating. I tend to play him as dead inside, which I do think is accurate, but I do think Come What May is missing the humor that comes from being the guy who kicks down a door yelling "Yo, yo, you! Crockmeister in the hizzy!" or answers his phone with "This is the Crockmeister; crock to me!"

I'd love to finish this 'fic, but it always feels depressing to me :'D I was going for "quirky middle grade adventure," but I ended up with gloom and creepiness. Idk what to do to make it fun and I hesitate to touch it if it might bring me down, so I procrastinate.

I think I need to practice my Mark Chang voice to make him more fun and quirky instead of stating plain facts.

Also, for the longest time, I felt kind of guilty that I write Anti-Cosmo as an overly anxious loser when (afaik), most of the fandom don't consider that even close to their vision, so I felt like I was bashing on their favorite even though I was genuinely trying to write him the way I see him, but... sldkfj. vindicated!!

Thank you New Wish for reminding me he really is that much of a cringefail loserboy <3

No matter what happens with the series from this point on... "Battle of Big Wand" Anti-Cosmo, you will always be famous to me.

[cetaceans-pls]

more jaybru please 🙏🥺

hi anon! it's been a desert in my heart lately, but i can't let a calendar year pass w/o jaybru 🥲🥲

here's part 1 of what i have dubbed my Burger Queen fic; it's platonic....FOR NOW heh heh heh

also up on ao3 here!

Jason's not, like, a connnersuer or anything. Not much opportunity to be one, what with being a homeless kid in Gotham, so his familiarity with fast food depends on the benevolence of staff at the counter (Susila, with her strong jaw and thick curly hair, works nights Thursdays to Saturdays and is the patron saint of so so so many of Gotham's unloved children) or whatever he can thieve (any paper bag set on any seat in any public transport is fair game) or whatever he can scrounge.

 So he's not a connnersuer, but of all the fast food chains he's had more than 3 bites of, his absolute favourite, even above Bat Burger that sometimes has Justice League packaging that he got a little paperboard tear-out of Wonder Woman from, has to be Burger Ging.

 (Burger King could not Make It in Gotham, on account of the dogshit wages and the staunch anti-monarchist tendencies of the average Gothamite (no kings! no queens! no lords! no masters!) enabling the extremely crafty 'Burger Ging' food truck run by the Bazalars to open up and go wild in their place, ahaha).

 (Susila works at Burger Ging and has a secret escort of at least 4 street kids walking her home every every night; this hasn't impacted his opinion at all, no sir no).

 It's the secret sauce; it's a little sweet-spicy-sour, and dreaming of the sauce on hot-salty fries with a helping of Susila's squinty smile on the side has helped him survive to see another Thursday many many times.

 So after he's picked up by Ba-, Bruce, and is asked by this horrifically Big Scary Man what he'd like to have for dinner after his first full day in this huge haunted house, all he can think about is that it's, somehow, Thursday again, and there's only one option, if there is in fact an option.

-

 Susila doesn't even blink when they come in, though Bruce does, repeatedly, looking a little startled in the bright fluorescent lights of the restaurant. "Welcome to Burger Ging," she says right at Jason, and she's not squinty-smiling because she's staring at him with a laser-focused stare, and Jason is familiar with This Look because even he gets like this with some of the littler kids.

 It's the, 'are you with someone you are safe with?' look, even though neither of them's got the power to do anything about it the many, many times the answer has been 'no'.

 But it's not no this time, no matter how awkward he's feeling, how awkward Bruce is being. Determined, Jason grabs Bruce's hand and drags him to the counter, smiling up at Susila. "Hey, Susi," he says. "Can I get two Bopper sets please? For me and, uh." He glances up at Bruce, who's got a death grip on Jason's hand as he fakes interest in the menu. "My guardian," Jason says, even if he feels like he's the one doing the guarding, somehow. "Extra sauce! And I want the sweet ice tea, please."

 Bruce doesn't helpfully add in his drinks order, so Jason nudges him with their joined hands. "What do you want to drink, B?" he asks, what feels like terribly politely.

 Bruce comes back from wherever he'd gone, looks down at Jason, and smiles like his mouth's still learning how to. "I'll have what you're having, Jason."

 Good, if the guy takes his queues from Jason, they might survive this yet. Jason grins, and decides to press his luck to see how far it can go. "And another ice tea for this Burger King," he says, tossing his head in Bruce's direction.

 Susila barely holds back her giggle, though she does throw in a little salute. "I'll get right on that, sir," she tells him, voice deep and pretty and smooth.

 When they crack open the paper bag at home, it turns out she'd also included 2 of the paper crowns you're only really supposed to get if it's your birthday.

 It's the end of a full day in this weird house with this weird man but he's got equal parts sauce to patty and Bruce had gamely put on his crown to keep Jason company, so. Uhm.

 It's kind of like a birthday, right?

-

 It becomes a bit of a habit over the years, to once a month or so take their ugliest car and drive down into the city, illegally triple-park alongside the thousand illegally double-parked cars, and run in to Burger Ging on 12th and Fulsome at some point between 10 PM to 5 AM.

 They tend to vary their orders, especially when Burger Ging decides to venture into the world of seasonal specials. God aloud, the zereshk polo pilaf that replaced mac 'n cheese side during Ramadan that one year had made even Bruce crack a smile, and that's really really really saying something.

 Jason's even gone in to pick up food on patrol nights, though Bruce never goes in with him as the Bat. He says it's because the staff might make connections between Bruce-and-Jason and Batman-and-Robin, but Jason is pretty sure that the real reason is because the big guy is a little self conscious about how his pointy little ears look like in the shitty lights.

 Jason is also pretty sure Susila copped him on sight, because as Jason and as Robin he gets the same kind of smile and extra sauce, but she doesn't push for anything and it's not like he's going to stop smiling and joking with her, so.

 She's seen him grow up, and she's known him longer than B; he's not exactly scared she's going to blab or anything.

 On one such patrol night he rocks up at half past midnight, casting a glance around at the usual suspects (students up too late working, insomniacs in cute sweats, and people looking for a warm place to rest) before going right up to the counter, disregarding the order machines.

 "Hey Susi," he says with less exuberance than usual, face tilted funny.

 (The thing is, he's starting to get acne, and it's awful, and it's been popping up on the apples of his cheeks where the mask can dig in a little, but if he tells Bruce he wants to get acne cream, Bruce who likely has never seen a zit in his life will probably ask why, and Robin can't be Robin without a mask on, and Susi's probably seeing all his gross red pimples and think he's not cool anymore, and-)

 "Hi, Robin," she says, and she's smiling as squintily as usual.

 "Hi," he says again, trying to act cool even if he's got his gauntlet up hiding half his face. "Can I get two Boppers, please? Extra sauce?"

 "Coming right up," she says, ringing it up. "Uhm. Is everything okay? Did you get hurt?"

 Rats. Not super subtle then, trying to cover up his shame. "No," he says morosely, dropping his hand. "I'm getting break-outs," he says, grateful today that his voice is cooperating. "It's kinda gross."

 "It's not," she tells him sternly. "It's totally normal for kids your age to get them. It's just skin, unless it hurts?"

 "Doesn't," Jason says with great confidence, given the hurts he's grown used to as Robin. "It just, uhm." He doesn't know how to say, no one else in my house seems to get these. "I don't like 'em," he says instead.

 She looks at him thoughtfully. "If it's the mask," she murmurs conspiratorially, "maybe try and add some sort of soft, clean layer that touches your skin? When I was the fry guy, the hair net would make me break out on my forehead, and a bandanna helped."

 Jason perks up at an actual actionable suggestion. "I can try that!" he says, glad that he won't have to bring this up with Bruce. The man tries hard as hell to be There For Jason, but he's been acting kinda weird with the, uh, whole puberty thing. Sure, it's not dignified to have the odd hair sprouting out, to have his voice crack mid-word, and Bruce doesn't make fun of him or anything, he just...

 He'd look a little discomfited, a little weirded out, before he rebooted and got 'round to getting Jason razors and foam and things.

 Jason puts it down to Bruce never having gotten to do this with his own dad, but technically, nor did Jason. Might even be some real intense personal preference; Bruce is always clean-shaven, always well-dressed, always smells nice; he's never gone around the house in just boxers and socks. He's always a pretty stark contrast to a gawky greasy sweaty adolescent, urgh.

 Still, it's pointless to think deep-deep about why Bruce is as he is; easier to just accept him as he comes.

 It's a B thing, and Jason's happy to roll with it, especially when he can solicit community support to help answer his questions.

 They chat a little more till his order's up, and when he reaches out to grab it, Susi stops him so's she can put in a little plush keychain of the Burger Ging mascot that's really only supposed to come with kiddie meals!!

 It's Tomatina, the magical girl in her Burger Ging Transformation outfit!

 "A Burger Girl for my Burger Boy," Susila says cheerfully, before pulling out another Tomatina (Office Wear edition!!). "And this one is for, uh, the Burger Bat."

 Jason goes tomato-red under his mask (unbearable!!) but says thank you very much (of course!!).

 At least, yeah, Bruce looks kinda embarrassed but kinda pleased to get her too.

-

 Then, uh. Then there's a bit of a gap in visits to Burger Ging.

-

 First night he rocks up to Burger Ging after his Grand Return, the underworld writhing in terror and Bruce unfortunately still alive, he's not expecting much. It's been years, and he'd hope that Susila's moved on to better things. Not that she'd recognise him anyways, 150 pounds heavier, almost 2 feet taller, especially not him with the Hood on, but lo and behold.

 He goes in (oh, looks like they've remodelled it recently, and it's looking kinda posh), and there at the counter is She.

 Man oh man; of all the places he'd feel like he'd come home to, the sticky linoleum counter at Burger Ging hadn't even occurred to him. Then again, well.

 She's the adult that's known him longest, in their funny little way.

 She looks a little wary, and he notes with some dubious pleasure that he's finally finally taller than Susi, even if just barely. "Hey," he says, sounding like the death rattle of a lawnmower through the voice changer, and it makes him wince.

 "Hello," she says carefully. "Welcome to Burger Ging. How can I help you?"

 She glances at the electronic order kiosks, and looks at his thigh holsters, and her thin lips go thinner. "Listen," she carries on, not giving him a sec. "Look. You're a new rogue, I'm guessing? And I get it, we're pretty easy to rob if you're trying to get your feet wet. We don't have much cash, since everyone pays by card these days, but I'll give you what we got. Please do not pull out your gun, there're two new kids working the kitchen tonight and they're freshmen at GU and I don't want you to scare them, okay?"

 Aaaah. Keeping up her patronage of looking after Gotham's underserved, looks like. Jason considers this for a second, the security cameras and the gently dozing man in the back corner and the fact that not 72 hours ago he was carrying 'round a duffel bag full of gross drippy heads (there's dried blood and ??? on his boots, urgh), and then decides that he might as well make a clean sweep of it, be disappointed by all adults he's ever thought would care for him and keep him safe.

  "You might not remember me, 'cos it's been a while," he tells her, voice rough gone rougher, before he pops off his helmet, tucking it under an arm. "Used to come by a lot, though I, uh, got replaced. Still keep a fresh layer of gauze between my skin and the mask, though. Uhm. Hi, Susi."

 She gasps, and she recognises him, and this interaction at least doesn't seem to be one Tim's superseded (stolen). It makes Jason grin a little crookedly, and it feels weird (feels a little wrong) to be looking down at her and she's got a softer jaw and more lines by her mouth but when she smiles her close-eyed smile at him back, god.

 He's all the way back again.

 "I missed you," she says first after a thoughtful pause. "You look a lot different."

 Jason laughs. "I got a lot different. Hoping the food's still as good as ever?"

 Susi flexes a powerful arm, looking resplendent despite the truly obscene colouration of the BG uniform (gold and purple???). "Got better, if anything. What was it, a Bopper with extra special sauce?"

 Jason feels like a head in a bag dripping all of him out on the floor, a mess at her feet, but he's not crying and maybe he isn't destined to be wrong-wrong-wronged by every adult who's ever clapped eyes on him. "Sounds good," he says, and it's embarrassing that he's barely avoiding his voice breaking.

 She taps his order in without pause, and then looks at him again. "What should I call you? Is Robin still okay?"

 Oh man, he's going to be sooooo stupid again. "Jay would be fine."

 She just nods at that, not even a little bit surprised. "It's really good to see you again," she says meaningfully. Then she pulls out a little plastic baggie with the kiddie meal toy, and it's a little plush keychain of a green cat with a mane of lettuce leaves. "Lechugatita for our best customer," she says, pushing it across.

 He pulls it to him greedily, ripping open the package to immediately attach Lecha to his belt, and dimly realises he'd sooner die than have anything happen to her (he means this absolutely literally).

 "Outstanding customer service as ever, Susi," he tells her, and she smiles, and he thinks that whatever the fuck is going on with Batman, Gotham still maybe has space to love him.

-

 It's months later, when Jason's mostly cooled it on the rampaging (because he's cut a deep bloody swathe through the worst bodies) and Bruce has stopped lunging at him like a man who's lost his mind every time he sees him in his hood, stopped looking like he's about to fall to the ground and weep every time he sees him in the flesh.

 They're at an impasse, and it makes Jason's skin crawl. Bruce's willingness to turn a violent hand to him and not to the joker is the greatest sin of all time, and even if the man is cut up about it, has a glass case commemorating his death and everything, the core of it is this:

 Bruce's beliefs are more important to Bruce than Jason is, but Jason does not have the same, uh, hierarchy of needs.

 He's always orbiting around Bruce, and he doesn't really know how to stop. He doesn't even really want to stop, wants instead for Bruce to get as madly, insanely obsessed with him as Jason is with Bruce, but this won't happen, and Jason's not sure how he's ever supposed to make his peace with this.

 So he doesn't; figures there's time enough now that he's back to unpack that whole shitshow. He still goes by Ging once a month or so, and Susi keeps plying him with the latest kiddie toy, and he's got a sweet little collection going on in his safe house, but he's missing his OG Tomatina.

 On a wet, miserable day in almost-winter, he decides to swing by the Manor. It's just after lunch; usually the house is deader than dead around this time, everyone out at work or school. He's been to his room before, already been plenty creeped out by how every last thing of his is exactly as it'd been when he'd left for Ethiopia, entombed as thoroughly as this own body had been.

 It's weird and unpleasant and sad, but the upside is that he can just about find where he left everything.

 Half-whistling a song to himself, enjoying the quiet echoes, Jason swings open his bedroom door expecting to see his little bed in the cool gray sheets he'd begged Alfred for because too many years ago he'd wanted something Cool instead of the kiddy sheets with printed lions and shit.

 Instead, well.

 Same sheets, same bed, spare Bruce. Bruce on the bed, somewhy, hunched over with his arms on his knees like he's trying to stave off a panic attack.

 His head snaps up so quick at the door opening that he must hurt himself, but he could not possibly have hurt himself enough to warrant that horrific look on his face.

 It's there, it's gone.

 "What the hell are you doing here?" Jason snarls, because attacking's better than hurting.

 Bruce looks at him coolly, but when he speaks his voice is ragged and mostly-dead. "I wasn't expecting to see you, Jason," he says in non-answer.

 "What, I don't get to come to my own goddamn childhood room? I don't fucking deserve to?"

 That scores a flinch, but really Jason kinda wants to see blood. "Fine, fucking fine," Jason spits, and if his eyes are getting hot and his voice feels close to breaking that's on him and his stupid stupid hopes. "See you goddamn never, Bruce."

 He's turned on his heel, he's about to stomp away with his stupid eyes and cracky voice and his heavy sodden despair, but then there's a hand at his elbow, hold unyielding.

 "Wait," Bruce says, and he's also gone cracky and sodden. "Of course this is your room. This will always be your room, this will always be your home. This is just..... my bad habit."

 "You sure as shit have a lot of those." Jason is so so mad, but he also can't shake off that hand (feels good to be held tight like he's actually wanted, or something!). "Let go of me, you bastard."

"Can't," Bruce says miserably. "Won't. I'll go instead. Just stay. Just. I won't be back home till patrol time, Alfred should be back in an hour or so. Eat. Rest." He clears his stupid fine throat. "Please."

 That takes some wind out of his sails, Bruce ceding territory, and Jason's not sure how to respond (in a way that won't knock off the grip that Bruce has on him, man on lifeline, except maybe they're both of both). Doesn't feel like the time for the usual kind of violence, but he still desperately wants to spread hurt with a shovel. "What the hell do you even do in here?" he settles on at last, because no fucking shot the answer won't shred B up at least a little.

 He's also just curious. Bruce is a weird little isolationist in his grief, a wraith staring at tombs and glass cases and loose pearls in a box locked up tight, so it just seems.... unlike him, to directly interact with a source of grief so directly. Jason has forged himself to be the complete opposite, in this as in everything else; fights with a crowbar, eats kitfo even though it tastes like ash on his tongue, sleeps with the heaviest weighted blanket available on the market because it's such a good facsimile of the claustrophobia of waking up in a coffin.

 So. Yeah. It's weird.

 The face B makes is also a strange one, twisted but not in the sour-dour way he often gets, twisted instead the way a normal person's face might get when they're trying like hell not to weep.

 Bruce clears his throat, smoothens his expression. "Do you remember this?" he asks instead, holding up a little plush doll of Tomatina, a little frailer with age.

 Jason frowns. Why is Bruce stealing his girl? He's inflicted more violence on the man for lesser offences. After a second, though, he clocks that she's in her pretty lavender dress shirt and neat pencil skirt, her wondrous Office Lady mode, and the memory snaps into place.

 He's moving before he knows it, tearing open the middle drawer of his little work desk, the flimsy metal lock giving way with a sharp little snap!. It's the opposite of a junk drawer, though all its contents are in disarray. Inside are all of the things that are worthless (can't be pawned for much of anything) but would absolutely go into his bag if he thought he needed to run away quickly (his highest praise).

 Bits and bobs, a crumpled paperboard crown, the stub from the first theater performance Bruce had ever taken him to, a tiny figurine of Bulbasaur he'd found behind a dumpster a lifetime ago, and there, laying neatly in the corner, is Magical Girl Tomatina.

 He pulls her out like she's a relic; Bruce looks at her like she's much the same.

 Jason clears his throat. "Of course I remember. What's your point?"

 Bruce clears his throat. "I come in here sometimes to think about burgers. I think about how you used to give me your pickles, I think about that special rice pudding the restaurant sold that one Eid. I think about the nice lady at the cashier, and I think about you." He shudders to a halt, a full-body thing, but then starts up again (old faithful). "When I have her in hand, it makes it easier to remember you alive. That used to be the hardest thing; it got so easy to remember you dead."

 Another shudder like he's on the verge of hypothermia. "I've done this less since you returned," Bruce rushes to add. "But sometimes..." He looks down at Tomatina. "I just look at her and think how much better things could be if I were a, a better, ah, man," he ends, lamely.

 Jason's not sure how to respond to that, except to sharply say, "Then be better."

 Bruce looks at him, then looks away, and they both keep their gentle gentle hold on Tomatina.

 Jason pushes on. "What's the fucking point in moping by yourself in your dead kid's room? I came back and you're gonna sit here alone in the dark remembering old burgers and dead sons when you could be doing anything else." He returns his Tomatina to her spot, ensconced in other things he's got too much love for, and closes the broken drawer. He's all angered out, really just wants a hot shower and a hot drink and the crushing weight of a too-heavy blanket.

 "Take it from someone with experience; nothing good comes from being alone somewhere too dark and too quiet, B. If you wanna be better, be better. Even if you have to scratch your fingernails off, even if you have to eat dirt, even if you feel like moving another inch is gonna kill you, you do it. You do it, or you die. You change, or you lose."

 Jason's a little too nice still, to say sometimes you change and you lose anyways, but the point's in the trying (this is what he keeps telling himself).

 He moves to move past Bruce, because there is No Way he's going to end up in a good place in his head if he stays in this place with this man, and he doesn't actually want to make Bruce leave his own goddamned house (he's a little too nice still).

 This time there's no hard hearty grab, just the lightest brush of fingers on the crook of his elbow. "Get home safe," is all Bruce says, but there's a slightly dazed look to him.

 Jason suspects he knows that look.

(Jason suspects it's, ah, the face he had on when he first woke up Down Under).

-

secret tumblr only a/n: i've been thinking about jaybru p much on the daily but trying to get a full story done has been Difficult. it also doesn't help that it feels like fewer people are reading and commenting on fics, which unfortunately does have an impact on my motivation... nevertheless i couldn't actually stop writing even if i wanted to but idk man take care of yourselves, and please be nice to ur neighbourhood fanfic writer it's winter in the spirit for a lot of us!!

[mandssisters]

We stand Victorious! 27August 2023.

It was a #longday. But we weren’t the only ones having one of those. On paper I’m guessing Martha’s Vineyard USA to Portsmouth UK was just another booking but I take my hat off to all those involved in the logistics team for pulling it off. DDD to Portsmouth was bad enough!

A great line up at the festival, it was only a shame Ben Howard and The Vaccines were on “another stage”. 😝

The weather was a great British summers day, forecast was overcast all day and 17 degrees, I dressed for all seasons and woken up today with sunburn 🥵.

7 performances to enjoy before The Sons joined us. I won’t go through all the details as it will take the 9 hrs we watched for.

Summary of events:

Courting. Punk indie band great lead singer had the crowd going from the start.

Hard fi. Old skool indie rock band haven’t done a festival in 11 years. Hard Core fans came out.

The Go! Team. Sang songs across their 7 albums. 7 very talent musicians and great energy.

Dylan. hardcore set of young fans, think UK’s answer to Taylor Swift. All the moves and great performance. Dylan came down to do an impromptu meet and greet along the barrier post performance.

Sea Girls. Not what I was expecting but a very pleasant surprise. Oozed stage presence and that rock punk persona. Great skill at balancing on the barrier for 2 songs.

Sigrid. Norways Taylor Swift. Again great energy and her last festival this season. I surprised myself with knowing more of her back catalogue than I thought.

Ellie Goulding. Pop veteran. Such strong vocals and again I knew so many of her songs. Two blasts of the canon guns and everyone was happy.

Showtime:

2120hrs. We did it! OMG how can it be 4 years 2 months since my last Mumford gig. Would I still be able to bounce in all of the right places? Strong opening, Babel, LLM, Roll away. Paparazzi pleasers. The family of Rich, Nick and Dave reunited. Chris on drums, Matt on banjo.

All the feels came straight back, guiding light, below my feet. It felt like they had never been away. Not much banter, “pleased to be home doing a UK show”. “Our makers and friends all over the lineup”

A short Ditmas run down the sides of the alley and barriers. So much energy.

The new stage backdrop showing live action screen footage of the lads is excellent, really grabs you in and the laser light show during snake eyes is something else. Believe had pyros but no ticker tape as Ellie Goulding used the budget allocation. 😉.

It looked and felt like the lads were having a great time, the crowd sure were. Overjoyed to see and hear Delta again. There was much love in the audience for them. The UK have missed them. Just leaves you wanting more! The bounce was joyous.

The journey home. Take the shuttle bus they said, ease all your travel woes they said! On the way into the festival easy peasy, on the way out…. Who could have predicted a RTA in Pompey (Portsmouth) blocking all bus routes… plagiarising a fellow queuers song “we will wait, we will wait in queue”. A most pleasant 2hr wait along the seafront enjoying a stunning moonlit sea, various Isle of Wight ferry crossings, The Beach Club music providing all the vibes, the local chippy had never been so busy at 1.30am!!

Loved it. X

[dreaming-gamer]

Eyy! Now, I have a proper V HC request, hihi!😍😍😍❤❤❤🙈🙈🙈 The gang ( include anyone you want ) introducing V to his very first cosplay convention!😍😍😍❤❤❤ I'll patiently wait, my dear. I love your V HCs so much😍😍😍❤❤❤

Hello dear! <3<3<3 Thank you so much for liking my headcanons and the request! :D :D :D I’m sorry this one took so long, I should have posted this one much earlier but better late than never? *sweats* 

In any case, here we go! <3<3<3

Random headcanon: Cosplay convention

Nico:

Nico is the first one to jump at the idea when she finds out V has never been to a cosplay convention. She loves those because people just let their creativity flow and she is among them. Creating an impressive cosplay that lets her display her genius, oh that’s right up her alley.

Of course the work on the van and Nero’s Devil Breakers go first, but the Queen of Machines can juggle that and more if needs be. If she’s going to a convention, you can bet she’s going to show off something that’s flashy and functional.

She’s all for helping the others find something they want to dress up in as well, they don’t even have to take something as spectacular as she does, if they don’t want to. If they do, she’s all for helping them with something on the more mechanical style as sewing and fabrics aren’t her thing.

Honestly, she just wants her friends to come along, try the event out. If someone really doesn’t want to dress up, she won’t push the suggestion too much but if she can work on them for a bit, they might open up to it. She’s the one to convince V to come along, claiming she can find just the right character for him.

Though Nico is able and considered fixing a workable Gundam costume (complete with rockets and guns, could it get better?!), she ultimately chose Mei Hatsume from My Hero Academia as her own cosplay character because let’s face it, it would let her show off more of her creations.

The costume itself she found online, cheap and the inventions are the important part, so that’s all good for her. A prototype is customized to function as a flying skateboard for anyone who wants to try, an Overture is remodeled to set off (harmless) fireworks rather than demon-killing sparks, a Dr Faust replica with built-in video and audio to teach you Michael Jackson moves on the go, she brings an array of different inventions and many are a success with younger audiences.

Nero (& Kyrie):

Nero’s never been to a cosplay convention, he’s just as new to them as V is. As a kid, he wanted to dress up and go to gatherings like that because it looked fun and hopefully no one would look at him funny, as they did in the Order.

Now that he feels more secure in his own skin, having come to terms with his heritage and how he can use it to protect his family, Nero doesn’t feel the immediate need to dress up for the convention but when Kyrie mentions it might be fun, he falls for the suggestion.

Whenever the orphans’ clothes get holes, Kyrie fixes them with her sewing but she is uncertain she has the skills and the time to fix herself and Nero matching outfits in time for the convention, when they have both decided they’ll go. And Nico has convinced them that they’ll have the most fun if they dress up.

Nero is supportive, he’s fine with whichever costume Kyrie wants to do, he doesn’t push and he’s fine with just going as they are as well if it spares Kyrie some trouble, but the kids are very insistent. And Kyrie sometimes has a hard time saying no to them.

Knowing it’s one of Kyrie’s favorite Disney movies, Nero suggests Beauty and the Beast for the two of them. Kyrie wants Nero to have fun and get the whole experience by dressing up, but at first, she is a little bit hesitant about his suggestion. She never wants Nero to feel like she doubts him or his humanity ever again.

They have been through a lot and so, they just talk it out, ending the discussion with soft whispers of love and care and in agreement over their choice.

As for their costumes, they don’t buy anything new. They check their closets for anything unused or something that can just be adjusted. In their eyes, the details don’t have to be perfect as long as they are both having fun. Kyrie also has a field day trying to put make-up on Nero’s face for the Beast look. Honestly, she does a good job. And the clothes she adjusted for Nero’s blue Beast attire, as well as her own blue and white dress for Belle, look great and she feels proud over her work.

At the convention, Nero will make sure to keep an eye on her, make sure she won’t be dehydrated or stay on her feet for too long in queues. It’s mostly unexplored ground for both of them, but they have a lot of fun just people-watching and following the three orphans under their care around, as the boys point out characters that they know everywhere. If the boys don’t recognize someone, they’ll run right up and ask.

Their camera roll is full of pictures of other cosplayers and the kids posing at the end of the day. And Nico snuck in a few pictures of Nero and Kyrie as well.

Dante:

It’s a party, Dante’s interested, enough said. He doesn’t mind grabbing the most ridiculous outfits if it gives him the love of the crowd. At a convention, people of all ages gather so it will be some simple, awesome fun.

As for him choosing a cosplay, the Dr. Faust hat has made him realize he rocks wearing a hat so he initially thought of cosplaying Alucard from Hellsing but after realizing V would cosplay another Alucard, he switched gears. Actually, Dante might just prefer cosplaying a character that likes having fun, just like he does.

By coincidence, he found Vash the Stampede from Trigun and though there is no hat involved, hey, the guy rocks red just as well as Dante does and he uses guns. Does Dante know anything about the character? Not really but that doesn’t stop him from rocking it. Plus, Dante already has red clothes, it’s just a matter of going into character because adjusting those clothes, he knows not how to do.

At said convention, he instantly clicks with a Deadpool cosplayer and they dance to Michael Jackson songs. They also photobomb some cosplay shoots, all in good fun. He lives for the spirit of people just having fun and humans just being humans, gathering thanks to a common interest.

Dante is the type who comes to a convention with several outfits. Or at least he would, if he had enough money for it. Since most of his paycheck goes to keeping the gas, water and electricity at Devil May Cry running, he resorts to simple, but effective ways to show off character, both his own and from other series.

V:

When the idea of going to a cosplay convention is first introduced to him, along with what it actually entails, he’s a bit skeptical. Nico telling him that there will be a ton of people doesn’t really sell him on it as he’s not that fond of crowds. But hearing that many will dress up as characters from stories they enjoy catches his attention. If he agrees to go, maybe he should be sure to make the most of it. And when Nico notices that shift in his demeanor, she keeps pushing him to join, juuust a bit.

For V, cosplay sounds like a way to show appreciation for characters and the stories they star in. Being the big fan of literature and poetry that he is, this aspect of the event does trigger his interest but when Nico gives him the idea to try out cosplay himself, she suggests that he shouldn’t go with cosplaying William Blake. Griffon laughs out loud at the mere idea but his suggestion of V cosplaying as a Disney princess (the orphans under Nero’s and Kyrie’s care have tried to show the avian various Disney movies, further adding to his arsenal of nicknames for V), is equally shot down.

V does want to put some thought and care into who to cosplay, but he also acknowledges his lack of sewing skills and is not too into the thought of buying a costume for himself with his limited funds. Kyrie offers to help but he is hesitant to accept it, seeing how she is trying to make something wearable for both herself, Nero and three little boys.

Ultimately, Nico and surprisingly, Dante become his greatest helpers. The childhood home of the sons of Spardas might have mostly fallen apart, but there are still some of their father’s old black robes in one of the rooms. It needs some adjustments, being too big on V’s lean frame, but the length is pretty spot on.

Nico demonstrates an automatic multi-tool that includes both measuring and sewing capabilities, as well as a laser pointer and a demon alarm that accidentally trips when Griffon is present. V doesn’t ask why she saw the necessity to put all of those functions together, but in the end, two of them are helpful for their situation. And she will show it off at the convention, as part of her genius.

How Dante does it, V doesn’t know, but one day, a long blonde wig is delivered to Devil May Cry, perfect for his decided cosplay. Turns out Dante’s flirt with the lady at the costume shop was helpful.

Ultimately, V feels very satisfied with his appearance as Alucard from Castlevania. The black robes are a different material from his regular leather vest but it’s still in black and thus, he feels right at home in it rather quickly. The long blonde wig takes some more time to adjust to.

What he had not anticipated were people asking to photograph him in this getup but thankfully, V took his time to research his character’s lines and mannerisms. Alucard is a gentleman, so V doesn’t find it very hard at all.

During the convention, Nero and Kyrie have enough on their plate, keeping an eye on the boys, so Nico usually stays close to V. Their chosen media are not anything alike, but that hardly matters. Nico is easily swept up in the excitement of the convention and seeing her makes V think that letting loose once in a while isn’t so bad.

Griffon stars in V’s cosplay as well, dressed up as a bat.

The next day, V will be a bit socially exhausted. Expect him to keep to himself with his book and tea for a good remainder of the day.

[grimmhorizen01]

The Black Devils Attack Boston

Jack was like a lot of people, just trying to survive whatever Boston threw at him.

Unlike everyone else however, he usually had the advantage. Be it, in a gun fight or in a conversation, he usually came out on top.

As his back rested against a steel barricade that was slowly being chipped away by gunfire, his only thought was, ‘where the hell is his support’.

Which as he looked to his left finally arrived.

When he first saw her fighting against the Mechanist’s robots, he thought for sure she was gonna end up scrapped.

But she didn’t, with his help at least.

As he watched Ada sprint over the hill, her twin Gatling lasers revered up and unleashed hell upon the would-be raiders.

“SHIT ROBOT” he heard one of the raiders shout, and in turn he peaked around the steel barricade and fired at the now standing raider, who’s head soon came clean off.

“Ada get some rockets in there!” he shouted.

Since he first meet Ada, he’s tweaked with her weaponry and her frame, usually a Assaultron frame wouldn’t be able to carry more than two weapons, but with a little steel here and little bit of construction grade servos there and bam, better lift and higher achievable speed.

Which allowed her to carry at least one heavy weapon, and most of time it usually was a modified quad barrel rocket launcher.

An right on queue, one high explosive missile nails a raiders and pulverized his entire upper body.

“FALL BACK” one of the raiders shouted and soon the remaining raiders ran as bullets and lasers picked off the slower of the bunch.

“I’m not detecting anymore hostile sir. We are in the clear” her voice echoed throughout the collapsed building of Boston.

“Ok, let’s get moving”, Jack walked towards the now empty road and soon began searching the raiders for anything good.

“Ada, what do we have plan today?” He asked as he heard the robot move closer to him.

“The Slog has a problem and would like you to come and helped them with. We are also low on aluminum and adhesive.” She listed off a few more which he nodded at.

“Sir can I ask you something?” As Jack finished searching the last raider, he looked back at Ada.

“Go ahead” he signaled for them to move on to the next block.

“Why do you continue to have me travel with you? You have other companions, yet you continue to have me with you.” Her question made Jack looked at her before sighing.

“Ada is that building clear of hostiles?” He scanned the building as it groaned with stress and waited for her answer.

“Yes sir” she answer and soon followed as he entered the building.

As he closed the door behind them and pushed a metal desk in front of it.

After making sure it wasn’t going to open, he sat in a nearby chair and took off his helmet and bandanna.

His ran his hand against his face and felt the all to familiar scars, the most prominent was the three that ran down the right side of his face.

“What I wouldn’t give for some fucking shampoo” he sighed as he ran his hand through his unkept hair.

“Ada the reason I keep you around is because of your personality, you know what it like to loss someone and you know how it feels to want revenge. Also you don’t fucking complain every time I go on a scarp run” he sighed as he leaned back against the chair which creaked with the weight against it.

“If you say so sir” she sighed as she sat down against the floor, both of her Gatling lasers disconnected and fell to the floor, which allowed her the ability to attach her claws.

As he watched her disconnect the Gatling lasers he slowly stood up and walked over to her and grab said claws from a pack on her waist.

“Here let me help”, he squatted beside her an waited for her to lift her wrist up and extent them.

Once she did, he connected the joints together and once connected, she tested them and once certain that they work she leaned back against the wall an sorted through the bags on her back and her waist.

“Ada how are we doing on ammo?” Jack asked as he leaned back against the same wall Ada was and watched as she sorted through every single item they had collected so far.

“We are low on .44 and .50, if we head for Diamond City we should make before another raiding party arrives”.

Right as she said that a distant voice could be heard, “Sir the scouts said they went in there!”

“Shit” Jack immediately reached into a side pocket and grabbed a fragmentation mine and chucked it at the door and hopped over a coach.

Ada on the other hand, disconnect her left claw and reattached one of the Gatling lasers.

“COME ON OUT WASTELANDER!” Whoever these guy’s were, they were bad news.

“YOU HAVE 5 MINUTES TO LEAVE THE BUILDING BEFORE WE COME IN THERE!” Silence, Jack wasn’t going to give up that easily.

And that’s when he heard the very distinctive sound of a vertibirds.

“Ada ready weapons, this is either gunners or rouge brotherhood” he looked over at Ada and saw her connect the other Gatling laser, before kicking the claws over to Jack.

“Weapons primed and ready sir” as she spoke all three of her weapons locked on to the door way.

“Sir I don’t think they leaving” As Ada listen in on the enemy, she soon heard heavy foot steps walking closer and closer.

As Jack watched the door he soon came up with a very dumb idea, as he looked straight at the door he reached down to this thigh and grabbed a flare.

“Send them in” the voice shouted, an soon plasma started nailing the metal door, which soon began to melted upon contact.

‘Please be gunners’, Jack thought as he watched the door melt away he quickly ducked under a plasma bolt and in retaliation lit the flare and threw it out the door.

After a couple second of silence, a voice came over the radio, “shells inbound general”.

And soon whatever was out there was destroyed, he even heard the very familiar sound of crashing vertibirds.

As Jack stood up, he immediately got hit by large ball of heated plasma which luckily ricochet off of his chest armor and made him crash against the wall.

As an armored foot stepped forward towards them, the mine Jack placed detonated and seem to cripple the armored individual.

As Ada watched Jack hit the wall, her processors went into overdrive as she smashed into the now crippled armored giant, and with her entire metal chassis, pinned the man to a nearby wall and unloaded 2 entire fusion core into their head.

Ada wasn’t letting another person die because of her, if anyone was going to die it wasn’t going to be them.

“Fuck” Jack cursed as he stood up and ready his weapon towards the door and soon saw a set of red eyes peering through the smoke cloud.

“Enemy armor, watch out!” He shouted as a large black gauntlet reached forward with a plasma pistol and soon began to unload upon them.

“Die wastelander scum” a staticky voice echoed.

Ada leaned back and turned around to see a hulking suit of heavily modified X-02 power armor, in its hand was a fully automatic plasma pistol with sprayed Jacks position with glowing hot green projectiles.

As she aimed both Gatling lasers at the foe, her audio receptors soon pickup the loud foot steps of power armor and began to unload her own weapons on to them.

As the assailant tried firing again a rocketed soon hit their hand and detonated the pistol in their hand.

As the plasma slowly melted the mans metal hand, he sprinted forward and crashed into Ada and soon began crushing one of her Gatling lasers and as fast as lighting it was ripped off of her joint and thrown to the side.

As Jack watched he reached for his rifle an fired at the metal giant which sent a dent into the helmet.

“Why don’t you just die mutie?” The man dropped Ada, who slumped over, and walked over to Jack and as soon as he got close, Ada shot up and fired a rocket into the mans back.

The man, surprised by the robots resilience, turned and pulled out another plasma pistol, this one however wasn’t automatic instead it was a plasma thrower.

As he did, time slowed down to a crawl as Jack watched the metal man soon pull the trigger, as he stared at them, he soon pushed through the pain and grabbed his ripper and charged.

“GET THE FUCKING HELL AWAY FROM HER!” Jack shouted as he dashed forward and jammed the ripper into the power armors armpit and soon felt as it tear right through their arm, and hopefully the insides.

As Ada watched Jack sprint forward with the ripper, her visual receptors soon went blank as plasma hit and melt away at her armor plating.

All Ada could do was listen as she was blinded by the plasma, she soon heard a loud crash as well as the sound of a ripper hitting metal repeatedly.

An then nothing, only the sound of sizzling metal and heavy breathing.

As Ada sat against the wall, she soon heard the sound of foot steps and a flare being lit and thrown.

“Ada report” Jacks voice echoed through Ada’s damage audio receptors.

“Visual and audio receptors compromised, repairs needed. Left hand joint destroyed. Sir I think it might be a good idea to head home”

“Ok, fuck. Brotherhoods inbound, we’ll head to the Prydwen, gotta tell Arthur about this” Ada listen as Jack stepped closer to her and soon felt his hands reach under her arms and lift, which with her help allowed them to move outside.

After 10 minutes of waiting and scavenging, Ada finally registered a friendly vertibird, “sir they have arrived”.

As Jack watched the vertibird land, he watched two knights exit the craft and secure the landing zone.

“Knights get over here!” Jack shouted at them and they listened.

“What is it Sentinel?” One of the knights ask as she looked around at the crater filled streets.

“Get the robot on the vertibird” he point at Ada and then looked at the other knight “and you come over here”.

As the knight did as she was told, Jack took the other knight to the building he and Ada had defended.

“Soldier tell me, do your recognized these guys?” He pointed at the remnants of the power armor.

The knight walked forward and examined the bodies and after a minute of poking and prodding, he came back with and answer.

“well if I’m right sir, these guys are Enclave, sir we need to tell the Elder” Jack nodded and walked outside and made his way to the vertibird with knight following behind him.

After making sure Ada was secured to the craft, he signaled to the pilots lift off, “pilot get us to the prydwen on the double!”.

As Jack waited for the prydwen to come into view, he could only think of Ada, her chassis was heavily damaged and her left arm joint was entirely destroyed, and until he got her back to somewhere with tools, she was blind.

“Sir prydwen coming into view now” the co-pilot yelled.

After docking with the Prydwen, Jack instructed the two knights to take Ada to his room an he headed for Arthur.

“Sentinel, I hope this is a emergency” Arther yawned as he stepped out of his room.

After Arthur took a sip from his mug he looked at Jack and waited.

“Arther, about a hour ago, I was attacked by, what a knight tells me, the Enclave” Arther tired expression soon faded as he stared at Jack.

“They seem to want something from me I have no clue what, but they seem to have been trailing me for who knows how long” by now they had made it to Kell’s.

“Captain, alert the crew. We have an old foe to confront” Kell’s nodded and soon announce to the entire crew about they’re current situation.

“Sentinel go to your quarters. Get some rest, tomorrow I’m sending you in a recon mission. If these bastards are here than we need to crush them before they can gain a foot hold on the Commonwealth” the Elder turned and looked out unto the Commonwealth.

As Jack sat in his room, he stared at the now semi disassemble Ada, who only had her main chassis, legs and right arm attached, as her armor plating was set aside and being worked on by Procter Ingram, God bless her for being able to do so.

Her left arm was an entirely different situation.

“Ada system report” Jack asked as he grabbed a screwdriver and tighten a loss pair of circuitry.

“Visual marginal, audio receptors have been restored” Jack sighed as he stared at Adas head and looked at it.

“God damn it what the hell wrong, I’ve changed the lenses, repaired over half the circuitry in your body, and still you can’t see?!” Jack angrily throw the screwdriver into a nearby dart board.

“Sir I know you don’t like this option but, you might hav-“Ada heard him smash his hand against something, by the sound it was probably metal.

“Ada, No. I’m not going back there, if those bastards are still tracking me, they’ll easily be able to kill me down in that factory”

As she sat there, her processors ran a multitude of calculation an as she did her system alert her to something, “Sir I have detected a fault in a subroutine”, whatever Jack was doing soon stopped as he ran over to her and plugged his pipboy into the side of her head.

“No wonder you can’t see”, Ada soon heard him sigh as he rewrite whatever faulty code there was.

“Huh interesting, seems like someone got creative an upload a virus into your system”Jack soon found the fault and examined the code to see if there was anything to lead back to the hacker.

“odd though it seems to only have effected you subroutines when in actuality it should of detonated all of your heavy ordnance?”

Ada wasn’t very happy with that response, but before she could say anything Jack spoke up.

“I can’t seem to get rid of the thing in its entirety unfortunately, it keeps replicating itself, it doesn’t seem to want to destroy itself which explains why your still here and not in pieces”, after that the problem seem to resolve itself as Ada soon was able to see Jack standing in front of her.

“Ada report” Jack voice held concern as he watched his friend stand an exam her surroundings.

“All systems are green excluding armor and one of my subroutines. The virus seems to be updating faults in my code that allowed whomever to hack me in the first place”

“Ok than. If it gets out of hand tell me, I think I know a way to at least limit it for now. Hopefully” Jack watched Ada moved her arm and her Gatling laser.

“Sir I’m still missing a arm and a working hand joint”, Jack nodded as he looked back at the semi decimated arm, everything lower than the elbow was completely destroyed.

“Unfortunately I can’t repair it we’ll have to head back to red rocket for a new arm, which is going to be a bitch to make!” He groaned and stood up and said he’d be right back.

As Ada waited, she began running a scan of her software and once again received a alert.

[SYSTEM ALERT: Archangel Online...]

As the text rolled across her HUD, she watched as both her ammo and armor counter flicker and change ever so slightly.

Archangel? I don’t remember Jack installing this or is it the...?

[Archangel: Visual Systems, Online 100%]

[Archangel: Defensive Protocols, Online 75%]

[Archangel: Repair Subroutine, Deactivated]

[Activate?] [Yes] [No]

[purplepersnicketywrites]

For the "mini" fic prompts, can I request #19? :DDD

‘things you said when we were the happiest we ever were’

YA

okay so this is like, one of the SAPPIEST things i’ve written I think! it’s also 3.7k words!

—

“I like you,” Kirishima said.

Katsuki stared at him. The redhead seemed to squirm under his gaze, lower lip bitten between his stupid-sharp teeth, eyes flicking away from Katsuki’s face to somewhere on the ground. When Kirishima had begged and pouted until Katsuki had agreed to take them both hiking, this was not the conversation Katsuki had been expecting to have once they reached the top.

That didn’t mean it was something unwelcome.

Kirishima drew in a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and met Katsuki’s eyes again. “I like you, Bakugou. Um. A lot. So I was wondering if maybe I could ask you out on a date?”

Contrary to popular belief, Katsuki was actually quite familiar with his feelings. It didn’t mean that he always agreed with them. In this case, however, Katsuki embraced the warm and golden glowing bubble that cast its light through his entire being like a miniature sun. Happiness wasn’t enough of a word to describe it.

Katsuki didn’t let his voice waver when he replied to his best friend. “Ask, then.”

“Oh, uh,” Kirishima swallowed with an audible gulp. “Would you want to go on a date with me?”

There was only one thing that Katsuki could say.

—

“Hey Katsuki, what’s your plan after Yuuei?”

Katsuki frowned slightly and paused his braiding of Eijirou’s hair. “Plan? For what?”

“Oh, like,” Eijirou waved one of his hands around, leaning back into Katsuki’s chest. “You gonna sidekick first? Or go pro straight from the get-go.”

“Pro, obviously,” Katsuki said. “Gonna open an agency an’ everything. I’ve got the reputation to pull it off already.”

“Yeah, I guess you do,” Eijirou said, dropping his head backwards onto Katsuki’s shoulder. Katsuki peered at his face and Eijirou grinned at him. There was something not a hundred-percent genuine in that grin and Katsuki almost frowned. “So are you looking for an agency building?”

“Haven’t had all that much time for it,” Katsuki said, watching Eijirou for signs of reaction to anything he was saying . “Googled some shit but I’d want to go and see wherever these places are. Can’t exactly go property hunting in the middle of term.”

Eijirou turned his head and kissed the first part of Katsuki’s skin that he reached, just under his jaw. “How about apartments?”

“Gonna have to be near the agency, so I gotta look for that first,” Katsuki said. “If I want somewhere with decent villain traffic it’ll probably be in one of the more expensive areas with a high population density. The government agency fund doesn’t cover personal accomodations, so I’ll probably have to set up a hammock in my office for a couple of months until the Heroics feedback kicks in and I start earning something decent.”

“Hm,” Eijirou said, kissing Katsuki’s neck again. As much as Katsuki wanted to indulge in that, he had a feeling that something was on his boyfriend’s mind.

“What is it?” he asked, prodding Eijirou’s cheek.

“Oh, well, um,” Eijirou pulled a slightly shifty face. “I was just- I mean. I don’t have as much of an ironclad plan at the moment…”

“So, what?” Katsuki tilted his head. “You’re lookin’ for advice?”

Eijirou’s face skewed a little more. “Not exactly. Uh. I just. Um. Would you ever, uh, consider maybe having two hammocks in your office?”

Oh.

Katsuki stared at his boyfriend and felt overwhelmed all of a sudden. Holy shit.

“Fuck, I love you.”

Now they were both staring. Katsuki could feel his cheeks heating up but damn, it was the truth, and he’d had to say it.

“What?” Eijirou said, the first of them to break out of the stupor. “You- What?”

“I love you, Kirishima Eijirou,” Katsuki said. The words tasted right on his tongue.

Eijirou sat up, twisting to face Katsuki and reach for his face. “You- You- Holy-”

“I love you,” Katsuki repeated, pushing his face forward so that their foreheads met. Now that he’d said the words, he couldn’t stop. “I love you! I fucking love you, Eijirou.”

Eijirou kissed him, hard and sweet. This kiss didn’t last all that long with Eijirou pulling back to pant through his grin. “I love you too.”

A sensation not unlike one of Kaminari’s shocks zipped up Katsuki’s spine. His stomach churned, but in a good way, like all of his insides were dancing. Katsuki felt elated, giddy even, and he wrapped his arms around Eijirou’s waist to bring him closer.

They traded words and kisses and smiles and words again, over and over and over.

It occurred to Katsuki that he hadn’t actually answered Eijirou’s question, so he pulled away slightly - and only slightly, with their noses still brushing and Eijirou’s breath hot against his mouth.

“You do know we can share a hammock, right, dumbass?” Katsuki asked.

Eijirou very being seemed to brighten at the question, and he responded with his own. “Does that mean that you do wanna live together after Yuuei?”

There was only one thing that Katsuki could say.

—

Katsuki wasn’t normally one for nerves in intense situations, but this was something entirely different. It wasn’t like some fight against a villain where Katsuki could explode and explode and put his feelings into action. It wasn’t remaining calm while his partner was injured, letting everything condense into a laser-focus until Eijirou was safe.

No. This were the fluttery, flurry-of-emotions type nerves that Katsuki didn’t know how to deflect into productivity. The kind of nerves that part of him enjoyed, the nerves he had felt just before leaning into his first kiss as he tangled his fingerss into red hair, the nerves that had shuddered through him in waves when he had knelt on one knee in front of Eijirou with a ring in one hand.

“Yo, how’re you hold- Ooh, not so hot,” Kyouka said, poking her head around the door. She glanced around the room and at Katsuki, who was sitting on one of the haphazardly scattered chairs. “They left you alone in here? Fools.”

“The fuck do you mean ‘they’, Headphones? You’re on my side, too,” Katsuki grumbled.

“Oh it’s Headphones right now, huh? Man you’re sweating buckets,” Kyouka said, putting her hands on her hips.

Katsuki glared at her. “No fucking kidding.”

“Hey now, it’s just Eijirou,” Kyouka said. “Think about that dumb grin he’s gonna be wearing. Just for you.”

God, Eijirou’s fucking smiles. Eijirou was easy with them, flashing a grin here, showing off a smirk there, but not that easy. Some of Eijirou’s smiles were rarer than others, and Katsuki adored drawing them out of him. Like the way Eijirou smiled when he woke up, so soft and sleepy and content. No one else got to see that.

“I love him so fucking much,” Katsuki said, groaning and burying his face in his hands. “That’s not the- Ugh. We shoulda just eloped.”

“Says Mr ‘If These Napkins Aren’t The Right Colour I’m Gonna Commit A Crime’.”

“Shuddup,” Katsuki said. “Someone who doesn’t think leopard print or pitch black tablecloths are an acceptable wedding aesthetic had to be in charge of decor.”

“So that ruled out all of your friends,” Kyouka said, grabbing a nearby chair and sitting down. “Because we’re all either from the same dimension that Hawaiian Shirt designs are stolen from, or goths.”

“Exactly,” Katsuki said. “Useless, the lot of you.”

“Denki threw a bangin’ bachelor party, though, right?” Kyouka asked.

“I guess,” Katsuki said. Pikachu had taken them all to a theme-park with enough express passes to skip the queue for any of the rides. It had been fun. He had made out with Eijirou on the ferris wheel like they were teenagers again, and no one had asked for his autograph.

“There, see? You’re smiling again, Blasty,” Kyouka said. Oh, well, the distraction had helped. “Think about how powerful you’ll feel when you can say ‘my husband’.”

“So fucking powerful.”

“Precisely! It’s a good feeling,” Kyouka grinned. “Remember when Denki kept dropping ‘my wife’ into nearly every conversation?”

“Too well,” Katsuki said, shaking his head.

“Well that’s gonna be you and Eijirou, soon. You’ll be rubbing it in everyone’s faces,” Kyouka said. Fuck, that sounded good. “Alright, final check. You got your suit on properly?”

Katsuki looked down at himself. “Pretty sure.”

“Tie, shoes, any weird decorative things?”

“All there,” Katsuki said. He was wearing Red Riot themed cufflinks, and he knew Eijirou had a matching pair with his own brand.

“Makeup and hair?” Kyouka asked, tilting her head.

“Jeez, it ain’t like this is a broadcast production,” Katsuki muttered. “But yeah. It’s all sorted. If you can’t see it then Mina did her job right.”

Kyouka studied him for a few minutes. “Vows?”

“Hell yeah,” Katsuki said. “Everything’s ready. It’s just the fuckin’ waiting.”

“Good job you don’t have to do that any more,” Kyouka said, glancing at her watch. “It’s time to go, Katsuki!”

“Oh, shit,” Katsuki said, standing. “Shit, shit, shit. Fuck, okay, let’s go.”

Everything after that was blurred by adrenaline, until he was standing up near the altar at a very familiar pair of red eyes as Eijirou approached up the aisle. Katsuki couldn’t tear his eyes away - wouldn’t, in any case. The very world was glowing.

“Hi,” Eijirou whispered, once he was standing in front of Katsuki. God, he looked so fucking handsome. “Are you ready for this?”

There was only one thing that Katsuki could say.

—

“Whoa!” Eijirou said, laughing from where he was pinned to the wall next to the door in their apartment as Katsuki adorned his throat in kisses. “Uh, what’s the special occasion, Blasty?”

Katsuki shook his head. “Just kiss me back already.”

Eijirou planted a smacker on Katsuki’s cheek. Ugh, he hadn’t meant like that and Eijirou knew it, judging from the mischief in his husband’s eyes.

“Gonna make me guess, huh? Was it something that happened today?”

Katsuki rolled his eyes. Fine, if Eijirou was gonna be like this… He leant in and began to work up a hickey on Eijirou’s collarbone.

“That’s a yes, huh? Augh, I’m gonna have to cover that u- Katsuki- Gonna have to cover that up! Was it something I did?”

Katsuki nibbled his way up Eijirou’s throat up to his ear.

“Hmm, was it the b- Oh.”

Eijirou grabbed his face and pushed him back. The redhead was staring as Katsuki with his big wide eyes and a kind of thunderstruck expression.

“Is- So you weren’t joking, earlier? With that baby?”

Katsuki grinned at him. “Nope.”

“Katsuki!” Eijirou cried - literally, there were tears forming in his eyes. “You- Soon? Really? You’re ready for kids?”

Katsuki took in Eijirou’s radiant, adoration-filled expression, pictured it directed at a couple of rowdy brats storming around the room with blankets tied onto them as capes. Damn, they’d probably have to move into an actual house - good thing they could afford it now with their ever-growing popularity.

Katsuki pictured reading storybooks together, being woken up in the middle of the night by a kid who’d just had a nightmare, sticking scribbled drawings up on the fridge they were going to have in their big fancy-ass kitchen.

Fuck yes, he was ready for kids. He wanted to be a father with Eijirou so badly that it burned, hotter and brighter than he wanted to be the number one hero.

Katsuki kissed Eijirou, as deeply as he could when his husband was bearing that big goofy grin of his.

“Oh my god,” Eijirou said, arms sweeping around Katsuki’s waist to lift him up and spin the pair of them across the room. “You wanna be a dad with me?!”

There was only one thing that Katsuki could say.

—

“She hasn’t had the best start to life,” the social worker said, looking at her paperwork with a troubled expression. Katsuki didn’t remember her name but Eijirou definitely knew it. “She doesn’t remember all that much - as she was very young - but her birthparents were villains and she was retrieved during a raid on their house. She was rather neglected.”

“Sounds a little like Eri,” Eijirou muttered, and Katsuki grabbed one of his hands to try and stop him from clenching his fists too hard.

“She’s been responding well to her foster family and making progress on all of her developmental targets,” the social worker continued. “But ideally we’d like to get her to a permanent family as soon as possible, so if you’re unsure about proceeding after you’ve met her, let us know as soon as you can so we can go back to looking for another match for her.”

Katsuki nodded. The idea of giving up on the kid rankled with him already, but the rational side of his brain reminded him that if they didn’t end up being compatible, it’d be better for everyone to say so.

“She has two older siblings placed with other families,” the social worker said. “And she currently had regular contact with them. Would you be willing to accomodate this?”

“Oh, yeah, sure!” Eijirou said. Katsuki nodded again.

They had been stood outside of this two-year-old’s foster home for far too long while the social worker briefed them. Fuck, he just- He wanted to see her already.

“Alright, let’s head in.”

The social worker knocked on the door. The woman who opened the door greeted them with a smile. She was small, but kind-looking, and reminded Katsuki a little of Auntie Inko.

“Welcome!” She said, but the rest of the pleasantries flew over Katsuki’s head. Fuck, he was just too excited. They might be meeting their daughter today.

The foster carer led them into her house and into a kitchen. There. A little girl with a shock of bright, shaggy blue hair sat scribbling furiously as a piece of paper with a green crayon. Katsuki remembered from the paperwork that she was three. He didn’t know how big three-year-olds were supposed to be. Was she tall for her age? Short?

She looked up at them as they entered the room, and Katsuki felt his heart lurch. Her eyes were red. It could be something they all shared. Shit, was he about to start crying? Where the fuck was his composure, what the hell.

“Aoimi,” said the foster carer - that was the girl’s name. “We have some guests today.”

Aoimi narrowed her eyes and looked between the three new faces.

“Why?” she asked. Her foster-mother laughed.

“I thought it would be nice to have some company! Be nice to them, okay?”

“Maybe,” Aoimi said, going back to her colouring.

The foster-carer laughed again. “She has a bit of a personality on her!”

Katsuki met Eijirou’s eyes - his husband was beaming at him.

“Good,” Katsuki said, sitting down in the chair he was pointed to. “You wouldn’t wanna be boring, huh kid?”

Aoimi looked up at him again, as considering as a three-year-old could be. “Wanna see my quirk?”

The girl’s foster-mother looked like she was biting back a grimace. “Now, Aoimi-”

“Yes,” Katsuki said. He looked up at the foster-carer for a moment. “If your quirk’s not too messy to use indoors.”

“It is not,” Aoimi said, wiggling a little in her seat and sitting up straight. Her foster-mother sighed and nodded. Aoimi grinned, and Katsuki watched as the tiny girl’s teeth sharpened. Claws grew from her fingers, and blue fur began to sprout over her skin. A long, thin tail with a tuft of fur at the end of it began to wave around behind her, until the girl Katsuki was looking at was more of a cub.

“That’s pretty cool,” Eijirou said, leaning around Katsuki from his own seat to see Aoimi more clearly.

The girl nodded, teeth still bared. Katsuki thought that as she got older, her canines might even longer than they already were, like a saber-toothed cat. Aoimi detransformed slowly, fur receding and teeth shrinking back into shape. “What are your quirks?”

Katsuki held out one of his hands and let it spark a few times. “I can make explosions.”

“Whoa,” Aoimi’s eyes bugged out a bit. “That’s like Ground Zero!”

Katsuki grinned. “You could say that, yeah.”

The little girl studied him for a long moment. “You are Ground Zero.”

“Yep, my real name is Kirishima Katsuki,” Katsuki said. He pointed at Eijirou. “And the big lug over there is my husband, Kirishima Eijirou.”

“Red Riot,” Aoimi said. She seemed to be taking this quite well. “You’re here ‘cause you wanna adopt me, right? I think you should, it’d be cool to have hero dads.”

Huh.

“Aoimi,” her foster-mother said, sounding exasperated.

“I’m not stupid,” Aoimi said, jutting her chin out. “I can read.”

Holy fuck, it was like looking in a mirror, kinda. Katsuki found himself grinning even harder.

The meeting continued, with Eijirou asking more questions than Katsuki could have thought about this kind of stuff, and Aoimi herself making a pretty big impact on Katsuki. He’d known pretty much from the moment he’d met the girl’s eyes, really, but the more he talked to her, the more determined he was.

He nearly cried again when they were waving goodbye to Aoimi and her foster-mother. God, he was turning into such a fucking sap, wasn’t he?

The social worker reached her car and turned to address them.

“Well, you’ve met Aoimi now. Do you need some time to think about it, or would you like me to put that you’re happy to proceed with the adoption on my report?”

He could tell from the look in Eijirou’s eyes what their answer would be. Eijirou nodded at him.

There was only one thing that Katsuki could say. 

—

“Katsuki! Katsuki come here!”

Katsuki bolted into the room at the sound of Eijirou’s voice. “What’s-”

“Look!” Eijirou pointed to the TV, where some sort of news was airing. “There, there, look! A pair of hero interns from Yuuei just debuted, Katsuki! Guess who it was!”

“Holy shit,” Katsuki squinted at the screen, at the bright blue blob he could just about make out talking to a couple of police officers in the background. “Aoimi?”

“Yes! I just turned the news on and there she was!” Eijirou crowed. “She and her friend on the other internship with Gevaudan apprehended a purse-snatcher with a crocodile quirk. Here, I’ll rewind so you can see.”

“She’s okay, right?” Katsuki asked as Eijirou rolled the news footage back.

Eijirou nodded, bouncing up and down in his seat like he was an excitable teenager again as the takedown of the crocodile villain happened. Her fellow intern looked to have some sort of speed-boosting or strength-based quirk and he had flung Aoimi in her cat form at the villain. She’d been big enough to pin the villain to the ground until the other intern and Gevaudan showed up.

Katsuki found himself beaming. Damn, that was his daughter.

Once Gevaudan had taken over the arrest, Aoimi reverted back to human and grabbed her friend in a tight hug. A very tight hug. Katsuki’s eyes narrowed.

“Man, I wanna call her,” Eijirou said. “I’m gonna call her, got your phone on you?”

Katsuki handed it over, and Eijirou immediately went to Aoimi’s number.

She picked up after three rings. “Dad! Pa! I debuted!”

“We saw on the news, honey!” Eijirou said. “We’re so proud of you!”

“Aw, thank you! I- Yeah, it’s my dads. -I’m so glad you saw it!”

Katsuki leant in to the receiver. “No one can keep Hellcat down! You fuckin’ killed it out there, lioncub.”

“Augh, don’t call me that baby name,” Aoimi complained, though she didn’t sound too put out. “But thanks!”

“It’s my job to call you baby names, snugglekins.”

Katsuki could see Eijirou trying to smother his laughter.

“Pa, you’re so embarrassing.”

Katsuki cackled. “Oh yeah, that reminds me - bring your boyfriend over this weekend and we’ll celebrate the two of you taking down your first villain with a proper meal.”

“Wh- N- We’re not- Shut up, Pa!”

“My mistake,” Katsuki snickered, handing the phone back to Eijirou.

“Seconding the invite, though,” Eijirou said. “Debuts are something worth commemorating!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Aoimi said. She paused and said all the rest in a rush. “We’ll be there, love you both, bye.”

Katsuki put his phone back in his pocket and leaned over onto Eijirou. “She’s growing up, Ei.”

“And growing up well,” Eijirou said, curling his arm around Katsuki’s shoulders.

“Definitely doing better than me at that age,” Katsuki snorted.

Eijirou pressed a kiss to his temple. “I think the next generation of heroes is gonna be a good one, huh?”

Katsuki turned to kiss his husband on the lips. Well, with their daughter among them...

There was only one thing that Katsuki could say.

—

“Whew,” Eijirou said. “I’d forgotten how much a mountain can take out of you.”

“Baby.”

Eijirou laughed, still wheezing a little from the climb. “Man, I haven’t been a baby for a long-ass time now, Katsuki, and neither have you.”

“I dunno,” Katsuki said, reaching out to grab his husband’s hand. “Ya still got a baby-face.”

Eijirou rolled his eyes, and Katsuki took a moment to let himself stare at the other man. Yeah, they might both be a little decrepit now, but Eijirou still took his breath away. A lifetime of laughter lined Eijirou’s eyes. Laughter that they had shared, so no doubt Katsuki looked much the same.

Eijirou squeezed his hand, and together they looked out over the view. It hadn’t changed much over the years. Maybe the trees had grown a little. It was still the same landscape that had stretched out before them back when Eijirou had first asked Katsuki out.

“Hey, Katsuki,” Eijirou said. Katsuki turned his head to look back at the best part of the scene. “If someone gave you the chance to go back in time, right back to when we were kids… Would you say yes onther time? Would you do it all again?”

Katsuki stared at Eijirou. What kind of fucking question was that? Did Eijirou really think that Katsuki would want to choose any other life than the one they had carved out together? With all their friends, and their daughter and their grandchildren?

If Katsuki looked back over his memories, his mind was flooded with a golden wash of joy. He’d had a good life. The best life. He had shared it with Eijirou - and fuck, they weren’t even that old yet! There were decades still ahead of them.

Would you do it all again?

There was a twinkle in Eijirou’s eye, and Katsuki snorted. His husband already knew the answer. He’d probably always known the answer.

There was only one thing that Katsuki could say.

“Yes.”

[rosemaidenvixen]

Flipping the Script

Chapter 2: Enter the Trollhunter II

Ao3

Nomura had on occasion, accidentally allowed her car to drift too far to one side of the highway while driving; and as a result, had her tires go across the grooves designed to alert drivers of their precarious position.

The feeling was jarring and unpleasant, to say the least.

Amplify that sensation over a thousand times, add a neverending sharp turn, and that was approximately how it felt to be driving down the massive staircase.

Nomura rattled in her armor as the jagged crystal steps battered at the car. She was being dinged black and blue, but at least the seatbelt kept her from flying around.

Despite being on a redneck rollercoaster from hell, she wasn’t screaming, not even a peep. Nomura really wanted to say that this was because she never panicked and was always the epitome of grace under pressure.

In reality her diaphragm was paralyzed with terror.

This was in direct contrast to Strickler and Otto, who were wailing their heads off.

It was actually pretty impressive that neither of them had passed out from lack of oxygen by now.

For his part Otto had given up any attempt to control the vehicle and was now just along for the ride. Or maybe he was trying to control their wild descent, it was impossible to tell at this point.

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you viewed things, they rounded a final corner and shot out of the staircase. Bouncing on the last few steps in a way that reminded her of a trampoline for all the wrong reasons.

The tires tore against the cobblestones as Otto slammed on the brakes. The car fishtailed, two out of four tires having gone flat on their way down.

But friction and physics were on their side and the car slowly, painfully, came to a stop.

Insane ride finally at an end, they all sat panting and shaking in their seats, still braced for whatever shock was sure to be coming next. So of course they all jolted when the rear bumper fell off with a loud clang.

Well Nomura and Strickler did, Otto slumped over against the steering wheel in a dead faint.

So they were alive, which was a definite plus, but now the car was totaled and Otto was unconscious. Those were things, things that she should probably deal with.

Still trembling from residual adrenaline, Nomura pried herself out of the car, clinging to the side to keep from falling over. Across the hood she could see Strickler getting out and going over to Otto’s door, checking him over no doubt.

Now that she had a moment to breathe, Nomura glanced around at her surroundings. They were in a stone city of some kind, buildings and storefronts carved directly into or out of the bedrock. All illuminated by a myriad of crystals that glowed every color of the rainbow. A glittering metropolis hidden beneath the foundation of Arcadia Oaks.

It would have been beautiful if not for the steadily increasing number of trolls gathering around the car, none of them looked happy.

“Humans? In Trollmarket?”

“Fleshbags!”

“What are they doing here?”

“Might be changelings...”

Angor was standing between them and the crowd, front and center, but the nervous expression he wore was not reassuring.

Right on queue the sword magically reappeared on Nomura’s back, she really hoped that didn’t mean she would have to use it in the next few seconds.

Before the crowd’s grumbling could escalate to shouting, a troll broke through the crowd and dashed around to join Angor in separating them from the mob. Shorter than most other trolls, green with six eyes and four arms.

Dictatious.

“Calm down everyone, no reason to panic,” his voice boomed in the stone corridor “Let’s not lose our heads…”

Nomura, ignoring the looky-loos for now, scurried around to the other side of the car to help Strickler pull Otto out. They managed to lift the bespeckled man out of his seat, only to stagger under his weight. Nomura grunted as she strained to support him, Otto wasn’t that heavy, but he wasn’t that light either, and his flopping limps and overall limpness did not help when trying to maneuver him.

As soon as all three of them were conscious and above ground, she was going to thank Strickler and Otto for all the times during college they dragged her drunk, unconscious body onto the couch and into the recovery position.

Stricker gave an uncertain glance at the troll standing off to the side "A little help...Angor?"

Looking glad at being given a way to help directly, Angor stepped over and plucked Otto out of their arms and into his as easily as a human might pick up a baby.

Meanwhile Dictatious was still trying to calm the masses “These humans are no intruders,” he struggled to make himself heard over the rising grumblings of the crowd “Please allow me to introduce our new Trollhunter and her...”

Half of his eyes swiveled over in her direction “These are your brothers,” he stage whispered “Correct?”

“I-- Yes,”

That was close enough to the truth that it might as well be. And besides, the whole truth was...complicated.

“Our new Trollhunter, and her brothers!”

His words seemed to have the opposite effect than intended, riling up the crowd even further rather than calming them.

Before Nomura could start to panic about the soon-to-be angry mob, a new voice boomed above the others.

“WHAT. IS. THIS!”

She felt, through the tremors in the ground, the new troll coming before she saw him. The crowd parted, making way for a massive, coal black troll to storm through. The newcomer was bigger than Angor and a lot bigger than Dictatious. He was nearly as big as Draal, hell maybe he was bigger. His only clothing was a kilt and scabbards holding twin swords strapped to his back. Horns curled around his face framing an ugly snarl with the fringes of the dark, matted mane running down his back peeking out. The only trace of color on him besides black was in his blazingly red eyes, which were laser focused on Dictatious.

“YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT THIS--” he stabbed an accusatory finger in Nomura’s direction “FLESHBAG, IS OUR NEW TROLLHUNTER!?”

Dictatious folded both sets of arms “Yes Bular I do, and don’t just take my word for it, the armor and the amulet speak for themselves,”

Bular snapped his gaze in Nomura’s direction and let out a low growl, she squashed the urge to flinch.

“She can’t be the Trollhunter! She’s not a troll!”

Dictatious met Bular’s gaze without flinching “I admit it’s unconventional, but the amulet has made its choice. Now there is nothing for us to do but accept it,”

Bular seethed, hands balled into fists, shaking with barely restrained fury. His eyes raked over Nomura’s silver armor and the amulet hovering above her heart “You have no right to wear that armor, human,” he spat, stomping in her direction, she wobbled and took an involuntary step back “I am Bular the Vicious, son of Gunmar the Glorious and the amulet’s rightful heir!”

Gunmar? Who was-- Oh yeah, Dictatious had said that he was the Trollhunter before her. Back up, he had a son!?

Suddenly Bular’s arm shot forward and his fingers closed around the amulet faster than she could react to.

“AND I WILL NOT SEE HIS LEGACY SULLIED!”

Just as he started to pull at the silver disk, the amulet hummed with energy and erupted with a concussive blast, throwing Nomura back to be caught by Strickler, and hurtling Bular into the crowd, who scattered away from the flying troll with gasps of shock and stunned looks on their faces.

If Bular had been mad before now he was profoundly pissed off. Roaring, he hurtled to his feet and charged back towards her.

Nomura snarled, shaking off Strickler’s attempts to hold her back, and stalked forward to meet the dark troll head on.

She knew in some part of her mind how stupid this was, going up against an eight foot tall stone monster that could snap her spine like a twig. But after everything she’d just been through today Nomura was done.

She had absolutely no fucks left to give.

The two squared off, mere feet apart.

“Listen well human--”

“No, you listen!” Nomura cut him off with a growl “I found this amulet nine hours ago and in that time I’ve been chased, punched, thrown, tossed, and threatened with death more times than in the rest of my life combined!”

She leaned in until their faces were mere inches apart, close enough to smell his halitosis, closer than she ever would have dared if she were less tired and pissed overall “This amulet has been nothing but trouble, and apparently giving it back isn’t an option. Believe me I tried,”

Their noses were almost touching now as Nomura pressed even closer, she could see Bular’s eyes widening “So if you want it so bad, how about I shove it straight up your--”

Strickler grabbed Nomura by the arm and yanked her back, probably trying to get her out of biting range “Let’s save the more colorful threats for another day, shall we?” he said, panic thinly veiled with a brittle smile.

But rather than bellowing or threatening her with limb shearing, Bular looked like he had been stunned into silence by her outburst. This lasted for a few seconds before he snorted and turned away “We’ll see what Usurna has to say about this,” he grumbled while walking off.

Nomura pulled herself free from Strickler and watched Bular leave through narrowed eyes. Picking fights on her first day as Trollhunter was probably a bad idea, especially since she already had one troll gunning for her, but Gunmar’s son or not, that guy was an ass. The crowd was dispersing now, trolls losing interest now that violence was no longer imminent and heading off in different directions. Taking advantage of the lull, Dictatious swooped in and grabbed each of them by the arm “Let’s move along, shall we,”

They hustled through the market, following Dictatious’s lead. Angor trailed after them, bridal carrying the unconscious Otto. Strickler kept gawking at all the sights and sounds of the troll city, Nomura was more concerned with the trolls constantly milling about, occasionally giving them the stink eye.

“So are we...safe here?”

“Oh yes,” Dictatious said animatedly “Trollmarket’s wards are impenetrable, no Gumm Gumm could ever set foot here,”

“No, I mean is it safe for us,” Nomura gestured to herself and the two men “Humans?”

All six of Dictatious’s eyes blinked “Oh, that is...less certain,”

Strickler narrowed in on that “What exactly does that mean, ‘less certain’?”

“Humans have never before set foot in Trollmarket, the fact that you are here is a tremendous upheaval to our way of life. And rapid change is not something trolls are accustomed to, and some may react...poorly,”

Despite the uneasy mood, Dictatious suddenly brightened and hurried ahead while gesturing for them to follow.

“Enough talk of such dire things. Master Nomura, it is time for you to see precisely what you’re fighting for as our Trollhunter,”

Hustling after Dictatious, Nomura turned and reached a clear area of the street that bordered a massive chasm. Looking up and following the troll’s line of sight, Nomura let out a gasp.

On the other side of the chasm was a crystal the size of a skyscraper. But even in spite of its size, this was no ordinary piece of quartz. The crystal glowed with soft, orange-yellow light. Something about it just felt warm, like coming face to face with the sun.

Nomura heard a soft gasp from behind her as Strickler experienced his own reaction to the crystal. Angor appeared bemused by their reactions, even as he shut his eyes and let out a pleased hum as the light of the crystal hit him.

“The Hearthstone,” Dictatious said with no small amount of pride “Source of strength and vitality for all Trollkind. As our Trollhunter, your sworn duty is to protect it and all the trolls who share in its warmth,”

Looking up at the hearthstone, Nomura felt an uncomfortable stirring in her chest. Magical amulets were a terrible way to choose public servants, she was standing by that, but it was obvious that this whole Hearthstone-Trollhunter gig was very important. And she wasn’t sure that she could be what they needed.

Luckily she was saved from her emotions by Otto starting to wake up. Golden eyes widening in alarm at the squirming human in his arms, Angor hastily set Otto down on the cobblestones as gently as he could and took a few steps back.

Nomura and Strickler hurried up to him as Otto groaned and twitched back into consciousness.

“I just had the strangest dream…” Otto sat up and straightened his crooked glasses “Nomura found a magic amulet and then trolls were-- Gott in himmel!?”

Strickler flashed him a sympathetic look while helping him to his feet “Unfortunately we are all very much awake, are you injured at all?”

Otto groaned and stretched “Nein...but I am going to need a stiff drink at the end of today,”

Nomura patted him on the shoulder “You and me both,”

Otto blinked and looked around “Where are we exactly?”

“Trollmarket,” Strickler replied, cutting off Dictatious who had opened his mouth in preparation to explain. He shut it and scowled, but allowed Strickler to continue.

“Apparently an entire Trollish metropolis exists beneath Arcadia, with no one the wiser, and Nomura has most recently been appointed as their protector,”

Otto snorted “Now that I find hard to believe,”

Nomura punched him on the shoulder “Asshole,”

Angor and Dictatious shared a puzzled look, the shorter troll raising a brow ridge in confusion “Is that a human term of endearment?”

“Dictatious Galaridgal!”

They all turned at the new voice booming through the stone streets.

A new troll strode towards them. She was about as tall as Angor, but broader. She carried a large glowing, crystal staff. Bioluminescent lines traced and curled across her stone skin, and her mouth was firmly fixed in a scowl.

“Dictatious Galaridgal. What in the name of Gorgus is going on? I had to hear from Bular of all people that our new Trollhunter--” she narrowed her eyes in Nomura’s direction “Is apparently a human,”

“Well, Usurna, you see--”

Apparently Usurna decided to skip over Dictatious and go straight to the source. Frowning deeply, the new troll strode over to Nomura “So, you are Trollmarket’s new protector?”

Nomura glanced down at the silver armor, not even bothering to conceal her eye roll “Looks like it,”

Usurna’s gaze narrowed “There is only one test for a true Trollhunter,” she turned and gestured with her staff “Come,”

An alarmed look flashed between Angor and Dictatious, but they said nothing as they fell into step behind Usurna; Nomura, Otto, and Strickler following.

Usurna led them to a stone alley off to the side, so narrow that even the three humans had to go single file. The alley widened and Nomura stepped out of the corridor after Angor only to freeze in her tracks and let out a small gasp, actions mirrored a few seconds later by Strickler and Otto.

They were heading down a narrow stone path that led to an arena circled by massive walls. On either side of the entrance a massive statue of a troll stood, expressions somber and weapons held at the ready.

Nomura gazed around in wonderment, adrenaline from her fight with Draal and the subsequent encounter with Bular melting away, as she followed the trolls into the arena. Even remembering how awestruck she’d been when she saw the golden gate bridge at age ten couldn’t compare.

The six of them reached the center of the arena, if anything the view was even more impressive from here. From this vantage point Nomura could see that statues of trolls standing atop massive pillars ringed the entire space.

“Trollhunter,”

It took Nomura a second to realize Usurna was talking to her “Yeah?”

She gestured with her staff to to troll sized footprints in the floor “Step forth,”

Before Nomura could walk over, Dictatious stepped between them “I understand that this whole situation is...unexpected, but could we not do this after Master Nomura has at least been trained in the basics?”

Usurna was unmoved “No, these are serious matters, and I do not wish to waste any time,”

Slumping in defeat, Dictatious stepped over to stand beside an anxious looking Angor.

“Now Trollhunter, step forth,”

Slightly more nervous now, Nomura walked over and placed her feet into the corresponding prints. Something shifted in the stone beneath her feet. With a rattle several large stone panels moved aside and a large, multi armed mannequin of sorts rose up from the floor.

“Behold the soothscryer!” Usurna pointed at the thing’s mouth “Insert your right hand Trollhunter,”

Nomura looked up, the dummy’s mouth was full of rings of sharps spikes “Yeah, no,”

“That was not a request,”

“Have you seen the teeth on that thing? I’m not putting my hand anywhere near it,”

A thin, painful looking smile carved itself into Usurna’s face “I am losing my patience Trollhunter, either you offer the soothscryer your hand, or I will,”

So apparently this was a non-option, fucking wonderful.

Nomura eyed the sharp looking apparatus uneasily “Strickler, Otto, can you guys give me a boost,”

Exchanging an apprehensive glance, the two of them came over and each grabbed a leg, lifting her to reaching distance of the hole. Eyeing the jagged interior, and once again cursing the events that had brought her here, Nomura slowly inserted her hand.

The machine clamped down on it.

Nomura screamed, she tried to jerk her hand out of the hole, kicking at Strickler and Otto in her mad flailing. They dropped her but the machine’s grip on her arm kept Nomura suspended.

Then the mechanism released.

Nomura dropped to the floor. Ignoring Strickler and Otto squawking as they broke her fall, she scrambled at her freed hand.

Four fingers and a thumb, all intact and moving properly.

Nomura went limp with relief, only to have Strickler elbow her in the side “Get off of me,” he groused. Angor and Dictatious scurried over to help them up

Meanwhile Usurna was still examining the mannequin that had almost made Nomura an amputee. She sniffed at it “Inconclusive,”

“Inconclusive!?” Nomura struggled to her feet, supported by “What the hell does that mean?!”

Usurna turned and started striding away “It means that the soothscryer needs more time to render its judgement,”

Nomura narrowed her eyes at the dismissive troll “So what, we just try again next week?”

Ursurna let out a chuckle “Next week? I doubt you will last that long human,” she paused “Oh forgive me, I doubt you will last that long Trollhunter,”

[yandere-musings]

Omg I loved your previous apathetic fem s/o imagines!! If your requests are still open, would you mind continuing Tomura’s? 👀👀

Yandere Shigaraki Pt.2

Wow I got a lot of requests and input in for the first part! Might make a mini series if I get enough requests. Decided to leave the end with a bit of a cliffhanger. Next chapter might be nsfw hehe ♡ (link to first part)

****

WARNING: The following contains dark and triggering themes of emotional abuse, violence, stalking and noncon. Read at your own risk!

Yandere type: posessive, controlling, delusional

The next few weeks that passed were absolute bliss to Tomura. Despite the anger of failed missions, the frustration of his bickering underlings and the painful bruises from his encounters with heros, he was still on cloud nine. All because he knew that waiting back at home was his beloved y/n . No matter the struggles he faced, Tomura had peace of mind knowing that the second he saw you, all his worries would melt away.

It was heavenly finally having you at his side where you belonged. Now he was able to love and cherish you like he had fantasized about for months. And although you promised that you wouldn't try to escape, Tomura still kept you locked inside his room while he was away. He wasn't ready to give you unsupervised reign of the house just yet. There wasn't much you could do, given that you were quirkless, but it was just to be safe. Maybe someday he would allow you to walk around the house freely. At least he didn't have to feel guilty about keeping you in the cage anymore.

Ever since he brought you home, you had been so well behaved. Not once had you tried to reject his love, never cringing away from his touch or kisses. You deserved a reward for being so good. What started as a simple grocery run ended with a spree of him buying gifts and clothing for his precious sweetheart. But he didn't regret it. Why would he feel guilty about his spending when he's only commemorating his darling's behaviour? Although... It did mean he had to go out in public without his father to shield his face. Despite the anxiety being exposed like that caused him, the thought of seeing your smile made it easy to endure. Tomura pulled out the keys to his room with bags in hand and unlocked the door to his bedroom, your prison.

He set down the grocery bags before gently removing father from his sweater pocket and placed him on the dresser. He wandered back to his bed where you were curled up fast asleep. He stood over your sleeping form, just watching. Such a precious sight. He simply had to take a moment to soak in how perfect you looked being surrounded by his posessions.

"Y/n... I'm home," he cooed quietly, reveling in how natural it felt to have those words leave his lips. He gently pushed the hair from your face for a better view. Your eyes fluttered open and you began to stirr. The sight of your adorable body, wearing his t shirt and shorts as pajamas, so exposed and vulnerable... How tantalizing. Tomura pressed a kiss to the side of your head before sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"I brought you some presents. Some snacks I watched you eat before. You must really like them, you used to but them a lot. Oh and-... and some cute new clothes. As much as I love seeing you wearing mine, it'll be nice to have something.... just for you. Be sure to try them on later so I know they fit, okay?"

A lie. Tomura knew you would fit everything perfectly. He had your measurements memorized by heart. You sat up and yawn, nodding your head at his request. Without even being asked, you crawl into his lap. This was the routine now. He would come home and you would cuddle. Sometimes even make-out. It started as him commanding it but now, having you do it of your own accord. It felt natural. Like you truly wanted to do it of your own volition. Your legs straddled his sides and his hands moved to loosely hold your waist.

"Tell me you love me," he commanded, relaxing as he leaned forward to rest his face in the crook of your neck

"I love you Tomura," you replied robotically.

"Mmm good girl," he praised, "Now hold me... And tell me how much you love staying by my side," he continued, whispering against your skin. Your arms snake around his shoulders automatically, cradling his head.

"Thank you for taking care of me. I never want to leave," you responded on queue. There was a clear emptiness in your voice. A blatant disconnection from the words to the feelings you spoke of. That coupled with that blank look you gave him made it obvious. Though those eyes held no fear... they held no love either. But it was alright. One day you would adjust to living this way. You'd learn to love him as passionately as he loved you. Tomura's hand reached up to trail his knuckles over your cheek. For now you were just going with the flow of things. That face of yours that was always smiling before was now bare of emotion. Nonchalant and blank. He wanted to change that. See a new kind of expression. A sly smirk began to spread across his face as an idea sparked into his mind.

"Hey... what would you consider our relationship to be?"

Kidnapper and Hostage? Psychopath and civilian? Murderer and their next victim? Take your pick, you thought.

"I don't... I don't know what you want me to say," you admitted.

Tomura's lips curled sinisterly, making you feel you more uncomfortable to being this close to him. He had moments where his delusions were stronger than others. You prayed this wasn't one of them. Despite how sane he acted sometimes, you knew Shigaraki Tomura was anything but. A chill ran down your back as one of his hands now began to slide up underneath your shirt, slowly trailing up and down your spine.

"Would you say that we're growing close y/n? Like friends?" he asked sweetly.

"I suppose," you forced yourself to say.

Tomura's grin grew wider.

"Would you say that we're more than friends? Lovers even?" he continued, emphasizing the word lovers painfully so.

You tried to swallow the lump in your throat that was beginning to form but no words were coming out. The way his ruby eyes were transfixed up at you with such laser focus. It was the look of a predator eyeing up its prey. You always did as he asked for survival but the way he was looking at you now. You really didn't like it. A finger tapped your back, drawing your attention back.

"Weeeell?" He asked, waiting for your response.

"I-... I guess so?"

He giggled.

"Heheh... I'm glad you think so too, Y/n! Tell me... what do lovers do that friends don't? What makes a lover so special?" He quizzled, his opposite hand slinking lower to caress your backside. You stiffen up against him. Oh god please no.

"T-they kiss?" you stammered out.

"Aaaaand?" he drawled, nuzzling his face against your neck.

"Th-they get married?" you squeak nervously, lightly leaning away from him slightly. Tomura sits back and looks up at you, his smile turning sickeningly sweet.

"Oh y/n .. is that your way of telling me that you want us to get married?"

"Uh.. I'm not-" you begin, starting to panic. Tomura's arms quickly snaked around youe waist and pulled you flush against his chest. He pressed his head against your breasts and let out a maniacal giggle.

"Ah, don't worry my love! I know you're too embarrassed to talk about that stuff yet! Why... I can hear your heart just pounding," he wheezed dreamily, pressing his ear to your skin. Slowly, he tilted his head up, eyes locking onto yours through the strands of hair. His sickening grin resurfaced, spreading wide across his features and making him look all the more disturbed.

"What else do lovers do Y/n?"

You began to tremble, for the first time you were becoming genuinely scared of him. And he was loving it.

"Th-they... Have k-ki-kids?"

He inhaled sharply and let joyful screech before quickly grabbing you from around your midsection and flipping you backwards onto the bed. You plopped down and before you could even try to struggle, Tomura quickly got on top, pinning you down by sitting on your hips. His hands pushed your wrists back and held them above your head but you didn't dare move them. Not when you knew the terrifying power those very hands possessed.

"That's right y/n! They have kids. Such a beautiful thing, to start a family of your own! I've dreamed of having one for years and years. You see, I never really had a family. I didn't think I'd ever get the chance. Never imagined that I'd meet a girl who could see past my flaws and fall in love with me. But you... You're perfect y/n. Perfect for me! We're meant to be together! You're the only one who could love me. You were the only one to show me such selfless kindness. Like an angel, sent to atone for all the cruelty I've had to endure! Since we met, I can't stop think about you and the life we could have together. We could get married and have a family of our own! Wouldn't that be magical? And you know what lovers do in order to have children right?! YOU KNOW RIGHT?!" he heaved above you, eyes straining down so intensely it was impossible to look away.

Aside from the involuntary trembling, you couldn't bring yourself to move. You wanted to scream and push him off. To run and hide from those terrifying eyes that were filled to the brim with his delusional sense of love. You had been complacent and done everything he told you to do. Was he gonna rape you? Was he finally going to kill you despite his vows to never to harm you? Suddenly, his heavy breathing stopped. As if a switch had been flicked off. Tomura's expression relaxed, returning to normal. But the glint in his eyes still didn't lessen your fear.

"You know... they say that when you make love to the person you hold most precious, it feels like you're becoming one with them. Doesn't that sound wonderful y/n? Being so intimately close with the one you love most? I've never experienced such a connection. I've always wanted to of course. But I didn't want to bother unless it was with my one true love..."

Tomura leaned down, tongue flickering out to lap up the tears you didn't know you had been shedding. His tongue licked your lips before he sat back up. He ground his hips down, making you feel the buldge starting to grow.

"Hey y/n... Let's make love."

[noona-clock]

Which One? Joo Hyuk - Part 3

Genre: Coffee Shop!AU

Pairing: Joo Hyuk x You

Warnings: None

Prologue, Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, Epilogue | Words: 1,772

You made good on your promise to Jane to continue coming here for your weekly Wednesday meetups.

To be honest, you’d kind of wanted to come back over the weekend... but you still felt too awkward. And you were (irrationally) worried that something else bad would happen when you next visited.

But, really, though. What could be worse than getting a drink spilled on you by the owner of the shop? And then being taken home by that same owner because your car wouldn’t start in the parking lot?

Not much. You were sure there was something, but you didn’t care to think too much about what that something could be.

So, you’d refrained from visiting on Saturday or Sunday (or Monday or Tuesday). The next time you walked through the door of The Mug was on Wednesday at 6:58pm, just about eleven and a half hours shy of a full week after the whole car-not-starting debacle and the ‘I should have offered you a ride home, here’s a free drink to apologize for that and also spilling your drink on you’ thing.

You were kind of hoping Joo Hyuk had just... forgotten all about it? Because you would rather not feel awkward around him.

Although you would probably feel awkward around him regardless because he was so ridiculously attractive...

Also, you didn’t necessarily want Joo Hyuk to think of you as the girl he spilled a drink on. Or the girl whose car wouldn’t start.

Y’know?

You would rather him think of you as...

Well...

Anything but those two things, pretty much.

You knew that was asking a lot, though. Because both of those things had happened the night you’d met, and first impressions can be very powerful.

As it had been the other two times you’d visited The Mug, the line to order wasn’t exactly short. Joo Hyuk and Ji Soo, upon first glance, were working up a storm - though they still managed to look like models, heaven knows how.

You took your place at the end of the queue, and Jane arrived just a few minutes later. She stepped into line behind the two people behind you, and as you got closer, you heard a soft psst.

You ignored it because you truly didn’t think it was meant for you.

But the closer you got to the register, the more urgent the psst became.

Until, finally, you heard Jane hiss your name.

“What?” you whispered back when you turned and leaned over to see her.

Rather than tell the rest of the people in line what she wanted you to do, she held up her hand, only extending her thumb and pinky while she closed up her other fingers into a fist. She put her handphone up to her ear and then mouthed, ‘GIVE HIM YOUR NUMBER!’

...You just rolled your eyes and turned back around.

When the person in front of you stepped away, you felt an unexpected surge of anxiety about seeing Joo Hyuk again.

But, to your slight surprise, he simply grinned and said, “Hey, welcome back. What can I get for you?”

Oh, good. He wasn’t going to ask about your shirt or your car. Now, the final test was...

“Green tea --”

“-- Latte,” Joo Hyuk finished, his grin widening as he nodded and typed it into the register.

You handed over your debit card when he provided the total, but it wasn’t until you stepped away from the counter that you let out a sigh of relief. He hadn’t brought up The Spill! He hadn’t brought up The Car!

You managed to find two empty chairs by the time Jane had finished ordering, and you watched as she scurried over to you.

“Did you give him your number?!” she squealed, reaching out and squeezing your arm.

“Yes,” you answered monotonously.

“What?! What did he --” And then she realized you were being sarcastic. “Oh, come on! Why not?!”

“Because! Why would I?! He doesn’t need my number for any reason!”

“He needs it to talk to you! To ask you on a date!” she hissed.

“Jane, will you give it up?” you whined. “Just because you got a boyfriend, it doesn’t mean it’s my turn next.”

“But it doesn’t mean it’s not.”

You simply let out a soft huff, shaking her hand off of your arm and getting your phone out to distract yourself from your pestering friend.

Jane gave up -- for now -- and asked about your work week so far.

A satisfied smile tugged on your lips, and you put your phone down to answer her. You asked about her work week, in return, and then inquired after her boyfriend.

Just as the two of you were figuring out when you could meet him, Joo Hyuk arrived with two mugs. He set them both down on the small table in-between your chairs, and you thanked him softly.

Instead of leaving, though, Joo Hyuk stood there.

You raised your eyebrows and tilted your head up to look at him (though it was quite difficult to do that - it was like trying to look directly at the sun).

“You said you were a freelance photographer and website designer, right?” he asked, sounding just a teensy bit nervous.

You nodded, humming your confirmation.

“Do you... have, like, a business card or anything?”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Jane shifting around in her chair.

“Oh! Y--yeah,” you stammered before bending down and reaching into your bag. You slipped your fingers into the pocket and slid out one of your business cards. “Here you go.”

You could’ve sworn you saw a tiny smile pull at Joo Hyuk’s lips as he received your card, holding it in both hands and skimming over it.

“Thanks,” he murmured. “We’ve been thinking about getting a website or -- oh, you’re on Instagram.”

Your heart was starting to pick up its pace, and you were honestly dreading Jane’s smug teasing when he left.

“Yeah, that’s -- it sounds lame, but that’s one of my favorite things.” You just loved combining your love of photography and your love of design to create a beautifully cohesive Instagram theme.

“That’s awesome,” he replied with a very small grin. “I’ll have to check it out. Thanks again.”

“Yeah, sure,” you answered somewhat breathlessly.

And, just as you expected, when Joo Hyuk turned and walked away (sliding your card into his back pocket), Jane reached over and gripped your arm yet again.

“Oh, my god,” she squealed through her clenched jaw, not wanting anyone else to hear just how excited she was. “He just -- you just -- your card! Your Instagram! Your card has your cell phone number on it, right?!”

“Yes,” you blushed, holding back a very shy smile.

Jane let out a very satisfied noise of exultation, and you were surprised she didn’t clap with glee. “Oh, this is good. You didn’t even need to give him your number, he asked for it!”

“Well, technically, he asked for my card. Not my number.”

“But, still! He had to have known your number would be on there. Honestly, this is a really good sign. This is the universe letting you know that something is on the horizon for you two,” Jane said happily.

“Oh, my -- Jane, come on,” you chuckled. “That’s going a little too far.”

“Just you wait!” she announced, nodding smugly. “Mark my words, my friend. Things will start moving along, and before you know it, you’ll have a boyfriend.”

You simply looked at her, your facial expression clearly saying ‘Sure, Jane.’

Much to Jane’s dismay, Joo Hyuk didn’t come back to check on you guys or get you refills for the rest of your time there. Ji Soo did, and while he was still undeniably handsome and friendly, your best friend was now laser-focused on developing your relationship with the other undeniably handsome and friendly owner of The Mug.

She was actually in the middle of devising a plan for your next weekly meetup when Ji Soo approached your chairs yet again to take your empty mugs.

“Can I get you ladies anything else?” he asked, eyebrows raised expectantly.

“No, I think we’re good,” you answered before Jane could say something embarrassing.

“Awesome,” Ji Soo grinned. “Hey, before I leave -- since you two are valued customers, I wanted to let you know we’ve booked a band to play here on Saturday night. Starts at 7 if you’re interested.”

“Oh, cool!” Jane grinned. “Yeah, that sounds fun. Which band?”

“They’re called Day8,” he answered.

You’d never heard of them, but if Jane was willing to come, you would, too.

“We’ll be there!” she chirped, nodding excitedly.

“Awesome,” Ji Soo grinned, nodding and heading back to the counter to take your empty mugs.

You and Jane stood from your chairs then, grabbing your bags and getting ready to leave for the night.

“Oooh!” Jane exclaimed suddenly, reaching out and grabbing your arm for about the sixth time tonight.

“Jane, I swear, if you come up with one more idea to get Joo Hyuk --”

“No, I should bring my boyfriend!” she said with wide, bright eyes. “You need to meet him! He needs to meet you!”

“Oh!” you gasped, now just as excited as she was. “Yes! Bring him! I need to make sure he’s good enough for you.”

Jane simply chuckled, linking her arm through yours as the two of you headed out the door and to the parking lot.

You let out a soft sigh as you were both enveloped by the darkness of the setting sun, the warm glow of the parking lot lights. And you weren’t sure what came over you, but you leaned your head on Jane’s shoulder and said, “Thank you for being my best friend.”

“You’re welcome,” Jane murmured softly, her voice nothing short of loving and affectionate.

“Even though you don’t need to be so extra about -- you-know-who -- I’m glad you care that much.”

Jane nodded, briefly leaning her head against yours before turning to place a quick kiss into your hair. “I care that much because I love you. I want you to be happy.”

“I know,” you sighed. And you did know. 

But you were still exasperated by her persistence.

“All right, my love,” Jane said, patting your arm. “Here’s my car. I’ll see you on Saturday?”

“Yes,” you nodded, lifting your head and letting your arm fall from hers. “Saturday. Your boyfriend better be ready for an interrogation.”

“I’ll make sure he is,” Jane replied.

And, with that, the two of you said your good-byes and went your separate ways for the night.

You had parked just a little bit farther away, so you continued on walking (and silently hoping your car would actually start this time).

Just before you got to your car, you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. As you reached for it, you felt it vibrate again... and again... and again.

Geez, what were all these notifications?!

When you brought your phone up to your face, you saw they were all Instagram notifications.

The first one was alerting you to the fact you had a new follower, the username of @njh222. And the next several notifications were that same user liking some of your posts.

As you got your keys out of your bag, you opened up Instagram and navigated to that user’s profile.

Just as you were about to unlock and open your door, you saw the profile picture. And you froze.

Oh.

It was Joo Hyuk.

Part 4

[eddiesasspbrak]

When I’m With You Ch. 8

Eddie can’t stand the barista at his favorite coffee shop. Richie has fallen in love with the man he sees twice a week. Stan is dating someone but won’t let his friends meet them. Ben is in love with Beverly, but is so afraid of scaring her away he’s not moving forward. Chaotic friends navigating college together. 

Ch. 1

Ch. 9

Read on AO3

5k+ words

Saturday turns to Sunday then Monday and when Tuesday rolls around again, Eddie feels drained. He still hasn’t gotten a single text from Richie since the first kiss. He thought he might hear from him after the second kiss outside his apartment, but it was radio silence and he felt terrible. It crossed his mind that maybe Richie was waiting to hear from him, but every time he opened their conversation to send him something, his mind went blank.

All through his morning class he was anxious. He hadn’t seen him again over the last three days and he was terrified of going to the café. There were other people at the café. He was sure he’d make a fool of himself, maybe blurt something out in front of everyone about the kiss. He wasn’t sure which was worse, having Bill and Mike overhear it or having a room full of strangers overhear it. Both scenarios sounded bad and he’d likely have to deal with both if he went to the café. He made the choice to skip his trip to the shop that day, opting to go to the chain café in the union instead.

He really didn’t like their coffee. Their flavored drinks were too sweet, and they cut their coffee grounds with chicory and Eddie didn’t like the taste of that. Still, he needed caffeine and the alternative was going to see Richie and he wasn’t ready for that. The line was long, looping around the displays of coffee mugs, cups and bags of coffee grounds. By the time Eddie reached the front fifteen minutes had passed and the two behind the counter looked overwhelmed and exhausted.

Eddie ordered a plain coffee with soymilk, used to the creamy taste of the drinks Richie had been making for him now. It was a simple drink but the people in front of him had all ordered something complicated, so he was left waiting in the queue for much longer than anticipated. When he finally got his order, leaving a larger tip than he normally would in the tip jar, he made his way toward the tables only to see they were packed. He’d been about to give up and make the trek to his next class to wait out in the hallway, when he heard his name being called over the noise of the crowd.

He looked in the general direction he’d heard the voice come from and saw Bev, standing and waving her hand over her head. Eddie smiled and made his way through the bodies bustling around getting breakfast to the table being occupied by Ben and Bev.

“I’m surprised to see you here.” She said as Eddie pulled out a seat across from them.

“He’s usually at the café around this time on Tuesdays.” Ben said before he could open his mouth.

Bev eyed the cup in his hand, seeing it was from the chain place instead of the café the boys worked at.

“Did you really choose that crap over the stuff Richie and Mike make?” She asked, folding her arms on top of the table

“I didn’t feel like walking to the café today. It’s cold.” Eddie took a sip of the coffee and wrinkled his nose. “But yea, this is disgusting.”

“You’ve been walking there every Tuesday and Thursday since the semester started. It was way colder before.” Ben said, somehow knowing his friend was hiding something. “Are you avoiding Richie?”

Eddie didn’t know that they both knew about the kiss on Thursday. He hadn’t expected Richie to tell anyone about that, so it never even crossed his mind that they knew. He certainly didn’t want to tell them about it. If everyone knew then it would become too real and then Richie might find out he’d been thinking about it and talking about it.

“Why would I be avoiding Richie?” He asked, not making eye contact with either of his friends.

“You tell me.”

Eddie sighed and sat back in his chair. If there was anyone he could talk to about this, it was these two. When it came down to it, he trusted Bev not to run to Richie to tell him what he said, and he knew that Ben kept confidences better than anyone. He was still anxious about it but maybe it was ok if it was just these two.

“Richie kissed me.” He said, just loud enough to be heard over the nearby chatter.

“Really?” Bev asked, trying to sound surprised.

“Twice.”

“Twice?” Ok, now she was surprised.

“Once while we were playing laser tag and once on Saturday.”

“Wait…he didn’t even show up Saturday.” Ben said, looking to Bev for confirmation in case he’d somehow forgotten something.

“He showed up while I was leaving and walked home with me. We were outside my apartment door when he kissed me.”

“So, hold on, you’re avoiding him because he kissed you? I got the vibe that you were starting to like him.” Bev leaned in closer, genuinely intrigued by the conversation.

“I’m avoiding him because I don’t know what the kisses meant. After the first time, he didn’t say anything, flipped me off and walked away. Then on Saturday he just walked away again and went into his apartment. What am I supposed to think?” Eddie put his head down on the table, his hand a buffer between the two.

“I can’t tell you for sure, but I know that Richie doesn’t just go around kissing people for no reason.” Bev said, reaching out and placing her hand on top of Eddie’s free hand. “The real question is, what did the kisses mean to you?”

Eddie lifted his head again. “I don’t know. Nothing. It was weird.”

“Did you like the kisses?” Ben asked.

“I don’t know. No?”

“Do you like Richie?” Beverly asked, eyebrows raised in curiosity.

“No.” Despite his answer, Eddie’s cheeks were flushed, and he couldn’t look at either of them again.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure!”

“Oh, hey Richie.”

Eddie’s entire body tensed as he quickly looked over his shoulder, a smile immediately coming to his lips. When he looked, no one was there, and he realized he’d been fooled. Looking back to the others, both Ben and Bev were smiling.

“You definitely like him.” She said.

“Jesus, fine! Yes, I like him, and I don’t want to like him. He’s annoying and confusing and he kisses me without warning and doesn’t even tell me what for!”

“You need to talk to him. Tell him what you’re feeling.”

“Oh, Eddie would never do that.” Ben said.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s embarrassing! What if I tell him I like him, and he doesn’t feel the same? What if the kisses didn’t mean anything and I make a fool of myself? I’ll never be able to face him again. And now my friends are dating his friends and hanging out as a group will never be possible because I won’t be able to be in the same room as him.”

“Alright. Take a breath.” Bev said, grabbing his hand again. “Richie likes you. I know he does.”

“How?”

“He’s told me. That first night we all hung out at the bar two weeks ago, he told me that he’s been pining for you since the first time you walked into the café. I wanted him to be the one to tell you but you’re both so stupid, you clearly won’t move forward without a bit of interference.”

“I don’t want to hear that from you. I had to talk both of you into your relationship.” Eddie said, pointing a finger between the two of them.

They both smiled shyly and looked at one another. It was true. They’d both gone to Eddie and Richie to complain about their crushes on the other. If it hadn’t been for them, they may have never moved forward. Ben already told Bev all about the shopping trip and how it had been organized to help him impress her. Now, it was their turn to help their friends get together.

“Talk to him, Eddie. I promise you it will go well.” Bev said, squeezing his hand.

*

That afternoon when Eddie got home from class, he planned to text Richie and ask him if they could talk. He stared at his phone, thumbs hovering over the buttons and unable to start the message. He set his phone aside and began doing anything that could distract him from sending the text. Homework, cleaning, yoga, anything. By the time 5:30 came round, he felt ridiculous. Multiple times he’d tried again to send a message and every time he got too anxious and gave up. It was such a simple thing to do with so much weight tied to it.

He sat on the couch, staring at the phone on the coffee table. Sighing, he reached over and grabbed it, trying once more to send anything. Just as he thought he was working up the courage to type out the first word, a knock sounded from his door and he jumped, dropping the phone on the couch. Leaving it there, he rushed to his door and looked out the peephole. Standing there was Richie.

Eddie’s heart leapt into his throat and he wondered if he could hear him on the other side of the door. His instinct told him to pretend he wasn’t there and wait until he walked away, but that was so stupid. Taking a deep breath, he unlocked and opened the door with shaking fingers.

“Oh, thank God you’re home.” Richie sighed as soon as he saw Eddie.

“Er…is everything ok?”

“Not really. I ran down to check my mail and locked myself out.”

Eddie looked him up and down. He was in sweats and an oversized t-shirt and his feet were bare aside from socks.

“You went down to check your mail without shoes on?”

“Yea.”

“That is so gross. I never step foot outside of my apartment without shoes on.”

Richie smiled. “It’s not that bad.”

“If you were checking your mail, don’t you have your keys?”

“I don’t keep my mailbox key with my house keys.”

“Why not? That is just so irresponsible. You’re asking for something like this to happen.”

“Does that mean you’re not going to take pity on me?”

Eddie sighed and stepped aside, gesturing with his whole arm for him to enter. He was trying to pretend like his heart wasn’t beating fast enough to potentially leap out of his chest. This wasn’t the first time Richie had been in his apartment, but the first time he’d been too distracted by the mouse to have many feelings about him being there. Now he was too aware of the way he looked in his space.

“Can you text Bev? I left my phone in my apartment and she’s got an extra key.” Richie said, sitting on the armchair.

“Yea.” Eddie felt like he was moving stiffly as he crossed back to the couch to retrieve his phone.

Eddie: Richie locked himself out of his apartment. Can you bring him the extra key?

Bev: So you guys talked?!

Eddie: No. He just showed up like 10 seconds ago. Are you bringing the key or not?

Bev: Ben and I are out to eat right now but we’ll swing by when we’re done. An hour maybe?

Eddie: Great

Bev: TALK! TO! HIM!

“Well?” Richie looked up at him expectantly.

“She’s out with Ben. She said it would be an hour.” Eddie said, sitting on the couch.

“Damn. I was about to order dinner.” Richie sighed.

“I can…probably make something.” Eddie said, looking at anything but Richie. “I just went grocery shopping the other day, so I’ve got some stuff.”

“You’re going to cook for me?” Richie grinned.

“Or you could help me.” Eddie meant to say something with a bit more wit, but his brain was moving at the pace of a snail.

Without waiting for a response, Eddie stood and headed to the kitchen. He’d mostly grabbed things that were quick to make, and he wasn’t sure what to offer him. He opened a cabinet and saw the spaghetti noodles and tomato sauce he’d forgotten about. He pulled them out set them on the counter. He grabbed his biggest pot and a smaller one, filling the bigger one with water and setting it to boil on the stove top. When he turned back, he saw Richie, holding the box of noodles in his hand.

“It’s all I really have.” Eddie said, doubting himself now and wondering if it was an ok choice.

Richie shrugged and set the noodles back on the counter. “Sounds good to me. What can I do?”

“Do you know how to make garlic bread?”

“You just mix butter with garlic cloves, right?”

“Yea but I don’t have any cloves. We’ll have to use powdered garlic.” Eddie opened the smallest cabinet and pulled out a jar of powdered garlic.

“They make powdered garlic?” Richie asked, crossing the room and taking it from Eddie’s hand.

“I guess.” Eddie was trying not to react to the fact that their fingers brushed when he took the bottle. He turned to grab the loaf of bread he’d bought, setting it aside. His put space between them when he went to get the butter from the fridge.

“So, what do I do?” Richie asked, taking the twist tie off the bread bag.

“Don’t you know how to cook?”

“Not really.”

“But you bake.”

“Baking and cooking are not the same thing.”

Eddie had pulled out a baking sheet, a little bowl, a spoon and a knife, setting them all out on the counter.

“It’s pretty much the same thing.”

“Baking is precise. You follow the recipe, mix everything up in a bowl then throw it in the oven for a while. Easy. When cooking you actually have to like pay attention to it and do stuff and add stuff. It’s too much work.”

“It’s spaghetti.”

“No, you put me in charge of the garlic bread. That’s much more difficult.”

“Oh my God.” Eddie couldn’t help smiling as he rolled his eyes. “Put some butter in the bowl, add garlic until you think it’s enough and mix it up.”

“Yes sir.” Richie jokingly saluted Eddie before doing as he was told.

While he did that, Eddie went to preheat the oven and pour the noodles into the already boiling water. Having something to do distracted him from the fact that he was alone with Richie, making dinner with him like it was a normal thing to do. Like they hadn’t kissed twice in the same week and then not spoken for nearly three days. They usually saw each other on Tuesdays, but as Eddie had not gone to the café that morning, he hadn’t expected to see him at all. This turn of events was anxiety inducing but also had Eddie thinking that fate was at work.

“Just spread the mixture on the bread and put it on the sheet.” Eddie instructed, turning and watching Richie.

When he was done, he put the baking sheet in the oven and turned to Eddie with a smile. Now that there was nothing to do but wait, Eddie felt anxious again. He wanted to talk to him, to ask why he had kissed him both times. When he opened his mouth to ask, nothing came out. It was like his brain disconnected from his vocal cords and he was stood there with his mouth hanging open and his cheeks turning pink.

“You didn’t come by this morning.” Richie said when Eddie still didn’t speak up.

“No…I…was busy.” He lied, turning his gaze to the floor.

“That’s good. I thought you were avoiding me.”

Eddie’s eyes snapped back up to his face in time to see the forced smile directed his way. He knew that he was hiding that same disappointed look he’d seen twice already. The look that gutted him and made him want to hug Richie tightly and never let go. He opened his mouth again, trying to find something to say that would wipe that look away, when a sizzling noise form the stove stole both their attention. When they turned to the stove, they saw the water in the pot boiling over.

“Shit!” Eddie exclaimed, rushing forward to turn the heat down. He flinched when a bit of water splashed out and landed on his fingers.

“You ok?” Richie asked, grabbing his wrist to look at his fingers. They were a little red, but not burned.

“It’s fine.” Eddie said, gently pulling his hand away and turning to grab the noodles before Richie noticed the redness filling his cheeks.

He opened the box and put half of the noodles into the pot to soften and cook. While he did that, Richie opened the jar of tomato sauce and poured half of it into the other pot. He replaced the lid and put it in Eddie’s fridge. Eddie watched him, hoping he wouldn’t notice the way his eyes followed him. Turning back to the stove, looking down at the noodles in the pot, he tried to find his courage again.

“Why…would I be avoiding you?” Eddie asked, knowing that he was in fact avoiding him and why.

Richie shrugged and came to stand beside him, leaning his back against the counter. “Because I kissed you.”

Eddie’s entire body felt tingly as the shock washed over him. “Oh.” Was all he could manage to say at the moment.

“So, you aren’t avoiding me, then?” Richie asked, tilting his head back so he could see Eddie’s face.

“Why did you kiss me?” Eddie blurted out as soon as their eyes met. “Both times.”

“Because I like you.”

Eddie had been hoping that would be his answer, but he was still surprised when he heard it. Richie was smiling now, a real smile.

“You…like me…like…” Eddie was having a hard time putting a sentence together, his head swimming with too many thoughts.

“Like I want to kiss you again. Like I want to take you on dates and hold your hand. Like I want to spentd time with you. Just you. Is that ok with you?”

Still unable to reconnect his brain and come up with an intelligible answer, Eddie just nodded quickly, his eyes drifting to Richie’s lips. He lifts his hand and cups Eddie’s cheek, closing the distance between them and stealing his lips in a kiss. This makes it three and the butterflies in Eddie’s stomach are still there, swirling around and making him dizzy. Stepping back a bit from the stove, he moves closer to Richie and tangles his fingers in the sleeves of his shirt. This kiss is different from the other two, the first one had been urgent and crushing, the second had been quick and chaste. This time it was soft, full of longing and Eddie actually sighed into it, relief taking over him.

Richie pulls away a minute later, turning to look at the stove top. Eddie’s barely noticed, he’s lightheaded and in a daze. He snaps out of it when Richie turns back to him and says, “Is something burning?”

Eddie looks to the noodles and sees they’re boiling away but seem to be fine. They exchanged a confused looked until they simultaneously remembered the garlic bread. Eddie stepped away from Richie to grab an oven mitt while Richie turned off the oven and opened the oven door. A bit of smoke came out, causing him to cough and wave his hand in front of his face to disperse the cloud. Eddie came back with the oven mitt and pulled out the pan, setting it down on the stove top.

“We’re bad at this.” Richie laughed, pushing his hand through his mess of curls.

“It’s not…that burnt…” Eddie said, using a fork to lift the edge of one slice to assess the damage.

The bottoms of the bread were blackened, but not badly enough to be unappealing to either boy. Eddie instructed Richie to start heating the sauce while he retrieved the colander to empty the noodles into. He looked over and watched Richie stirring the sauce with a spoon and a thrill went through him. With the food taking a front seat to his thoughts again, he hadn’t yet had time to process the fact that Richie said he liked him. Did this mean they were kind of dating now? This was new for Eddie and the thought of actually having a boyfriend was too exciting for words.

When the noodles were drained of water and the pot was placed in the other side of the sink, Eddie turned to grab two plates down from the cabinet. They put their plates together in silence, neither really sure what so sat to one another. Eddie only had one stool in the kitchen and didn’t have a dining table. When others were over and eating, they always just sat on the floor of the living room in front of the coffee table. He led Richie back to the living room where they made themselves comfortable in front of the table. They bickered about what to watch, settling on a comedy movie on Netflix Richie was sure Eddie would like.

They spoke as they ate about the movie and other movies and TV shows they enjoyed. They joke about how terrible to food is. The noodles are sticking together, the sauce is somehow cold in some spots and the bread is hard to bite into and is surely cutting up the insides of their mouths. Eddie can’t help but laugh along with Richie and it feels good. It feels normal and like he’s been waiting to feel like this with the other man. All the time he’d spent hating him felt like so long ago now.

“You were avoiding me, weren’t you?” Richie asked after they’d finished eating and were leaning against the front of the couch.

“I was embarrassed.” Eddie said, keeping his eyes on the TV. “I didn’t know why you kissed me, so I was scared to see you.”

Richie nodded because he understood. He’d never meant to confuse him. He’d wanted to text him about a hundred times but didn’t know what to say to him. He’d stood outside his apartment door for five minutes before working up the courage to knock. If he had anyone else to turn to, he’d probably have gone to them instead.

“Probably for the best. I might have jumped the counter and dry humped you in the middle of the café if you’d shown up this morning. You were right to be scared.” He grinned.

“Shut up.” Eddie laughed. “I was scared of what I would say, not what you would do.”

“Why? What would have you have said?”

“I don’t know. That despite all logic I wanted to kiss your stupid trashmouth again.”

“Oh, then I definitely would have jumped the counter. Put on a show for the other customers.”

“I guess I shouldn’t come in Thursday either.”

“I think that means you should definitely come in Thursday. Seeing you is the highlight of my day.”

Eddie could feel the heat crawling up his neck again, adding color to his cheeks and ears. He thought of all the times he’d gone into the shop and Richie’s face had lit up with a smile. He believed him. Not seeing him that morning had been hard. If he hadn’t been so anxious and worried, he would have given in and gone to the café.

“I’ll come in Thursday.” Eddie said quietly, finally turning his head to look at Richie.

Richie’s smile was soft, not full of joy and humor like it usually was. This time when he leaned into kiss Eddie, he was ready for it. He let his hands drift up to tangle in Richie’s curls, something he’d been thinking about doing for days. When Richie dipped his tongue into his mouth, he let him, parting his lips a bit more with each kiss so they could tangle together. Richie tasted like tomato sauce and garlic, though he guessed they both did. Gently pushing on Eddie’s shoulders, Richie urged him to lie back on the floor. It’s hard against his back and uncomfortable but he doesn’t care because Richie’s tongue is in his mouth and his weight is pressing down on him in all the right places.

Eddie’s vaguely aware of the noises he’s letting out into Richie’s mouth but he’s floating outside of his body while being completely aware of every feeling that’s shooting through his limbs. His hair is soft between his fingers and he smells like soap as if he’d showered before coming over and that was such a ridiculous turn on for Eddie. Knowing he was clean just heightened it all and he felt his toes actually curl against the floor. Richie’s hands are hot on his skin as his fingers push his shirt up a bit making Eddie shiver. It was all too much and not enough all at once and Eddie honestly didn’t know how far he was willing to let Richie go at the moment.

When a knock sounded from the door, Richie groaned in annoyance but kept kissing him.

“Rich! I’ve got your key!” Bev’s voice came from hallway.

“Fuck.” He sighed, finally pulling away.

Sitting up, Richie pulled Eddie up with him, pressing another quick kiss to his lips before standing and leaving him there on the floor. Eddie still hadn’t full come back into his head and he suddenly felt cold without Richie’s body on top of him. He watched him walk to the door and open it, letting Bev and Ben in.

“Here.” Bev held out her keys for Richie to take.

“Thanks.” He said before turning back to Eddie. “I’ll be right back.”

He went off down the hall with Bev trailing behind him. Ben stayed though and crossed to sit in the armchair by Eddie. He looked down at Eddie’s flushed face and raised his eyebrows at him.

“Are you ok?” He asked.

“Yep. I’m find. Just…we were watching a movie.” Eddie lifted himself off the floor to sit on the couch instead.

“Did you burn something?”

“Garlic bread. Turns out neither of us can make spaghetti without at least twelve disasters.” Eddie grinned.

“You cooked him dinner?”

“No, we cooked together.”

“And you ate together and watched a movie?”

“Yea.”

“Is this a date?”

“What? No. It’s…” Eddie didn’t know what to say because did this count as a date? Richie had confessed his feelings and they’d made out on his floor, so maybe?

“I’ve got cookies!” Bev said, reappearing in the doorway with a freezer bag of cookies held above her head.

She plopped down on the couch next to Eddie and opened the bag, taking one for herself and offering the bag out to the other two. Richie came in a second later, closing the door behind him and taking the other spot next to Eddie. Each of the boys took a cookie for themselves and listened as Bev spoke about the waiter, they’d had at the restaurant they went to.

“I’m telling you, his eyes were locked onto my chest. I offered to take them off and give them to him and he turned red and ran away.” She laughed. “Oh my God, Richie why are these so good?”

Richie shrugged. “They’re just chocolate chip.”

“They’re the most amazing chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever had, aren’t they good?” Bev asked, looking at Eddie.

“Better than the garlic bread.” Eddie smiled. “It makes no sense that you can do this and can’t make garlic bread without nearly burning down my kitchen.”

“That was partially your fault.” Richie said, nudging his shoulder.

Eddie’s brain brought back the image of kissing Richie in the kitchen which then switched to the much hotter kiss they’d exchanged on the floor right in front of where he was sitting. He stood abruptly, grabbing the plates off the table.

“I’ve got to go wash these.” He said, squeezing between Richie’s knees and the table and making a beeline for the kitchen.

Richie watched him go before standing up a second later. “I should help.” He said, following after him.

He found Eddie standing over the sink, rubber gloves on his hands and water running over the dishes. Richie could see from where he was that his ears were turning pink again and he smiled to himself. He enjoyed how easily he could make Eddie flustered. He walked as quietly as he could to stand behind him, startling him when he encircled his waist with his arms, his chin coming to rest on his shoulder.

“Need help?” He asked.

“You can dry.” Eddie said, pointing to the towel hanging from the door of the oven.

Pressing a kiss to the back of his neck, Richie let him go and retrieved the towel. Eddie handed him the first plate he’d just finished scrubbing and he set to work drying it. They continued quietly, Eddie washing and then passing each dish off to Richie to dry. When everything was done, Eddie turned off the water and for the first time Richie noticed the little clothesline he had strung up above the sink between the cabinets. He took off the rubber gloves and clipped them up.

“Is that really for your gloves?” Richie grinned.

“They’ll mildew if you don’t dry them before putting them away.” Eddie said with a frown.

“Ok then.” Richie chuckled.

“What? It’s not weird!” Eddie said, defensive.

“I didn’t say it was weird.”

“Then why are you laughing?”

“Because you’re so fucking cute.”

“Oh.” Eddie looked away from Richie, flustered once again.

Richie set the towel on the counter and grabbed Eddie’s face between his hands, pulling him into a quick kiss. Eddie pulled back as much as he could while he still held his face and looked toward the living room with panicked eyes.

“Bev and Ben are still in there.” He whispered.

“So?” Richie asked before kissing him again.

Eddie didn’t pull back this time, letting him kiss him and effectively steal all the breath from his lungs in the process. The fact that they could do this whenever was an amazing realization and Richie was going to take advantage as often as he could.

“Hey, Ben wants to know if you have any…milk…” Bev’s voice trailed away, and Eddie pushed Richie away by his shoulders.

They both turned to look at her and Eddie’s mouth hung open while his face turned at least two shades redder. Without another word, Bev crossed the kitchen and gave Richie a high-five. Mortified, Eddie covered his face with his hands.

“So, milk?” She asked.

“Fridge.” Eddie said behind his hands.

Richie put an arm around him and pulled him against him with a laugh. So, Bev knew and so now would Ben. Eddie didn’t know how he felt about that. It was all so new and the idea of all his friends knowing brought on a new kind of anxious feeling. He suddenly understood why Stan had kept his own relationship hidden for so long. Still, the embarrassment and worry couldn’t chase away the giddy feeling because Richie liked him and didn’t care who knew.

[harkath]

Charybdis, 1.01

Just me, my heartbeat, and all the tiny awful noises a body can make in a hardsuit. No sound from the suit monitors. Whole hallway in vacuum. Something sheared through the bulkhead on my left, jagged metal trailing out into the void. I trudge along. My body compensates for the delayed step clamp unclamp step shuffle of the mag boots with long practice. Barely feel it anymore, like walking with snowshoes back on Earth. So I’ve heard.

Constant scroll of information down the right edge of my visor. Gleaned from suit sensors and Prose’s intrusion efforts. The company had given us keys to all systems, but wouldn’t you know, they’re a bit outdated? 

Prose requests new codes by ansible, but even if that queue gets checked, approval and download would take longer than just cracking the thing. 

“Captain,” Prose chimes over our link. No urgency, but that never meant anything. What an emergent found immediately life threatening against what your average human did could be a vast gulf. It’s not like anyone knew.

“What’s up, Prose?” I try not to start when it writes itself into my visual field, its avatar walking unprotected near the shorn edge of the bulkhead. As ever, its features are indistinct and ever-shifting.

“Intrusion complete,” it says. As we reach the end of the tear, towards the lock that would lead to the front half of the ship- still pressured, apparently- I get a glimpse of my ship: Ambrose Systems Loss Prevention Unit PRZ-1, keeps pace with the drifting derelict I’m on. The closest thing Prose has to a body. 

I can’t feel Prose using my eyes to look at itself, but I feel it just the same. I wonder when Prose’s last tuning was. Uncharitable. It’s been good to me. For years. Still is, as its avatar lays one hand on the airlock lever, whispers a quick warning. I nod, wait till it removes it’s hand (humans and emergents share the preference of having their avatar-projections respected, realspace or no), then tug open the lock. Inside the compartment, a splash of blood and something else I ignore as my suit identifies. I close myself in, Prose disappears with a lazy salute. Danger on the other side. No distractions. Great. I brace myself as the lock cycles. We had dropped out of the grid a little shy of Neptune’s gate, when Prose’s gravity scan pinged the right signature. An hour for realspace maneuvers to get us in line, three decelerating. Shedding gridspeed and matching trajectories with the target. 

The derelict- the cargo ship. Prose wasn’t too fond of me calling them derelicts before we examined them. Called it a maladaptive coping mechanism. Offered several convincing and therapeutic arguments. I managed to bite my tongue. 

Accusing a ship of being emotional about cargo ships and haulers would just make me look stupid, anyway.

We got in close enough for me to hop over in the hardsuit. A.S. standard hauler, cargo scanned for ice and mineral rich rock, several bays empty. Nothing out of the ordinary there. The odd bit, was that the back half of the ship had apparently suffered explosive decompression. Everything not nailed, magged, or grabbed down was long gone. On its way to, well, probably Neptune, right? No distress beacons from hardsuits left adrift. Sat for an hour while Prose did extra life scans in the area anyway. A suit can keep you alive in the void for a long time. Bad way to go. I’d worked up a suspicion, pacing up and down the hall while Prose did scans and intrusions. Examined that sheared off bulkhead. The bits of Prose’s report I could parse more or less confirmed it. I winked at the report scrolling along my visor, and it faded from sight. 

Brought myself back to the here and now. Set my suit’s camo option to mirror-reflective.

The thing about lasers is, the word isn’t really accurate to popular culture anymore. Not for weaponry. Yes, it’s a directed light beam, but there’s other stuff in there. Ask R&D what. Pay grades. Most of it still bounces off a mirrored surface though. The rest just pisses off the safety protocols on a sufficiently well-made hardsuit. And its wearer. By the time the glare fades, the interior lock swings all the way open. I smack my tongue against the metallic taste in my mouth. The “other stuff” that the suit doesn’t reflect isn’t supposed to have lasting effects. I have my suspicions. I raise my hands in the ancient, universal symbol for stop waving that thing around like a jackass. He does.

I stand angled so he can’t see the glass-blower on my hip, but I think he can tell he’s outmatched. Sitting in the captain’s chair, he stands out for three reasons. One, he’s wearing more trauma kit supplies than clothes, trying to hold himself together. Two, obviously, he’d just let off a full charge of laser fire at me. Not so much as a “halt!” or “state your business!” Rude. Three? He isn’t the captain. Prose inserts the man’s name into my field of vision, just left of his head. Several helpful tidbits about his history to the right. A note that he’s not in his “usual physical or mental capacity.” No kidding, Prose? Just in case some of the post-hypnotic briefing hadn’t taken, I guess. Does Prose know about that? Reckon the company only tells its ships what it needs to, same as flesh employees. James. Big James to his family and friends, out around Canopy Five. Not long for this world without real treatment, trauma kit or no. 

“Hey,” I said. De-escalate. Familiarize. No hardsuit for him, earth-standard atmosphere. My visor and helmet split, fold insectile into the back of my suit. Camo fades to its usual neutral off-grey. There’s a setting for a supposedly calming “sky blue,” but I’ve never seen a blue sky and I wager James here hasn’t either. “Jahen Krell, search and rescue.” We use assumed names for each op. Insurance thing, apparently. Search and Rescue is a happy euphemism for Loss Prevention, although the overlap is there. “James,” he says, wheezing back into the command chair. “Big James, if you got some booze on you.” Blood trickles from the corners of his mouth when he speaks and I wish I did. His hand never leaves the rifle, and I try not to count the seconds before it hits full charge. “I’m afraid not, man, but I might do you one better.” Misdirection, extortion. I start feeling bad about here. Always do. “I’ve got two regen-swarms on me. Full repair suite on my ship. How’s about you tell me what happened, and we see about getting you patched up?” Blackmail sequencing. Your life, information. He’s too far out to notice. It’s not like I’d let him bleed out. Would Prose? “Cargo cult,” he croaks out. Prose feeds me the definition, some ancient loan-phrase describing cascade failures, exploited deification of invaders of higher technological level? Dying old man speaking nonsense. I jab him in the arm with the hypodermic, let the first swarm get to work. That’s against protocol. Questions first, then reward. So fire me. “What happened here, James?” “Blew the shielding,” he manages. More blood. The trauma kit starts working and that rush of short-strand adrenaline keeps him talking, some. “Crew quarters and engine alerts. Sheared bulkheads out from the bay.” Shuddering now. Big James is one of the engineers. Maybe the last one. His assessment matches ours. Something hit the ship, from the inside, maybe, blew a hole that tore the back half of the bastard apart, engines fully gone, cargo bay cracked like an egg. Crew quarters, same. He must have been off-shift when it happened, maybe in the galley? Somewhere front-of-ship, Which gives us a timeframe. “Okay,” I say. “Who blew the bulkheads?” I can’t ask the question I want to ask. He doesn’t know I know to ask. Prose, in synch with me as ever, and impatient with my methods, inserts a thankfully-censored thumbnail into my visual field. I know, Prose. “Is this the only place with atmosphere? Any survivors?” Who put the neat holes in the foreheads of the navigator and the captain? Out of my view, down in the crew pit. Blood and worse. Prose’s stolen eyes caught it on the way in. Made it part of the briefing. “Engineering?” James says, in the desperate tones of a sole survivor. He’d seen some things he’d be seeing for the rest of his life. I don’t tell him that we could see the ship’s spine, what was left of it, from ten clicks out. Why bother. “Cargo?” In denial, maybe. He’s an engineer with a good idea of how fucked the ship is. He wants the numbers to match emotion. Me too, James.

I hit him with the second swarm, and the soporifics in the thing finally overwhelm him while the bots get to work. Better that way. I’ve gone under repairs like these conscious. I don’t recommend it.

He mutters something else, some other strand of nonsense as he goes down. I gently reach over and take the rifle from him. I realize the question I forgot to ask, set the laser rifle down, and unsling my own glass-thrower. Shift the comfortable weight of the gun in my hand.

“Send a drone down, Prose. Patch him up, alright?” James didn’t do this. Call it instinct. Training.

By way of answer, one of Prose’s dog-sized, beetle shaped drone floats into view, reaching mantis-limbs towards James’ sleeping form.

Constant scroll of information down the right edge of my visor. Gleaned from suit sensors and Prose’s intrusion efforts. The company had given us keys to all systems, but wouldn’t you know, they’re a bit outdated? 

Prose requests new codes by ansible, but even if that queue gets checked, approval and download would take longer than just cracking the thing. 

“Captain,” Prose chimes over our link. No urgency, but that never meant anything. What an emergent found immediately life threatening against what your average human did could be a vast gulf. It’s not like anyone knew.

“What’s up, Prose?” I try not to start when it writes itself into my visual field, its avatar walking unprotected near the shorn edge of the bulkhead. As ever, its features are indistinct and ever-shifting.

“Intrusion complete,” it says. As we reach the end of the tear, towards the lock that would lead to the front half of the ship- still pressured, apparently- I get a glimpse of my ship: Ambrose Systems Loss Prevention Unit PRZ-1, keeps pace with the drifting derelict I’m on. The closest thing Prose has to a body. 

I can’t feel Prose using my eyes to look at itself, but I feel it just the same. I wonder when Prose’s last tuning was. Uncharitable. It’s been good to me. For years. Still is, as its avatar lays one hand on the airlock lever, whispers a quick warning. I nod, wait till it removes it’s hand (humans and emergents share the preference of having their avatar-projections respected, realspace or no), then tug open the lock. Inside the compartment, a splash of blood and something else I ignore as my suit identifies. I close myself in, Prose disappears with a lazy salute. Danger on the other side. No distractions. Great. I brace myself as the lock cycles. We had dropped out of the grid a little shy of Neptune’s gate, when Prose’s gravity scan pinged the right signature. An hour for realspace maneuvers to get us in line, three decelerating. Shedding gridspeed and matching trajectories with the target. 

The derelict- the cargo ship. Prose wasn’t too fond of me calling them derelicts before we examined them. Called it a maladaptive coping mechanism. Offered several convincing and therapeutic arguments. I managed to bite my tongue. 

Accusing a ship of being emotional about cargo ships and haulers would just make me look stupid, anyway.

We got in close enough for me to hop over in the hardsuit. A.S. standard hauler, cargo scanned for ice and mineral rich rock, several bays empty. Nothing out of the ordinary there. The odd bit, was that the back half of the ship had apparently suffered explosive decompression. Everything not nailed, magged, or grabbed down was long gone. On its way to, well, probably Neptune, right? No distress beacons from hardsuits left adrift. Sat for an hour while Prose did extra life scans in the area anyway. A suit can keep you alive in the void for a long time. Bad way to go. I’d worked up a suspicion, pacing up and down the hall while Prose did scans and intrusions. Examined that sheared off bulkhead. The bits of Prose’s report I could parse more or less confirmed it. I winked at the report scrolling along my visor, and it faded from sight. 

Brought myself back to the here and now. Set my suit’s camo option to mirror-reflective.

The thing about lasers is, the word isn’t really accurate to popular culture anymore. Not for weaponry. Yes, it’s a directed light beam, but there’s other stuff in there. Ask R&D what. Pay grades. Most of it still bounces off a mirrored surface though. The rest just pisses off the safety protocols on a sufficiently well-made hardsuit. And its wearer. By the time the glare fades, the interior lock swings all the way open. I smack my tongue against the metallic taste in my mouth. The “other stuff” that the suit doesn’t reflect isn’t supposed to have lasting effects. I have my suspicions. I raise my hands in the ancient, universal symbol for stop waving that thing around like a jackass. He does.

I stand angled so he can’t see the glass-blower on my hip, but I think he can tell he’s outmatched. Sitting in the captain’s chair, he stands out for three reasons. One, he’s wearing more trauma kit supplies than clothes, trying to hold himself together. Two, obviously, he’d just let off a full charge of laser fire at me. Not so much as a “halt!” or “state your business!” Rude. Three? He isn’t the captain. Prose inserts the man’s name into my field of vision, just left of his head. Several helpful tidbits about his history to the right. A note that he’s not in his “usual physical or mental capacity.” No kidding, Prose? Just in case some of the post-hypnotic briefing hadn’t taken, I guess. Does Prose know about that? Reckon the company only tells its ships what it needs to, same as flesh employees. James. Big James to his family and friends, out around Canopy Five. Not long for this world without real treatment, trauma kit or no. 

“Hey,” I said. De-escalate. Familiarize. No hardsuit for him, earth-standard atmosphere. My visor and helmet split, fold insectile into the back of my suit. Camo fades to its usual neutral off-grey. There’s a setting for a supposedly calming “sky blue,” but I’ve never seen a blue sky and I wager James here hasn’t either. “Jahen Krell, search and rescue.” We use assumed names for each op. Insurance thing, apparently. Search and Rescue is a happy euphemism for Loss Prevention, although the overlap is there. “James,” he says, wheezing back into the command chair. “Big James, if you got some booze on you.” Blood trickles from the corners of his mouth when he speaks and I wish I did. His hand never leaves the rifle, and I try not to count the seconds before it hits full charge. “I’m afraid not, man, but I might do you one better.” Misdirection, extortion. I start feeling bad about here. Always do. “I’ve got two regen-swarms on me. Full repair suite on my ship. How’s about you tell me what happened, and we see about getting you patched up?” Blackmail sequencing. Your life, information. He’s too far out to notice. It’s not like I’d let him bleed out. Would Prose? “Cargo cult,” he croaks out. Prose feeds me the definition, some ancient loan-phrase describing cascade failures, exploited deification of invaders of higher technological level? Dying old man speaking nonsense. I jab him in the arm with the hypodermic, let the first swarm get to work. That’s against protocol. Questions first, then reward. So fire me. “What happened here, James?” “Blew the shielding,” he manages. More blood. The trauma kit starts working and that rush of short-strand adrenaline keeps him talking, some. “Crew quarters and engine alerts. Sheared bulkheads out from the bay.” Shuddering now. Big James is one of the engineers. Maybe the last one. His assessment matches ours. Something hit the ship, from the inside, maybe, blew a hole that tore the back half of the bastard apart, engines fully gone, cargo bay cracked like an egg. Crew quarters, same. He must have been off-shift when it happened, maybe in the galley? Somewhere front-of-ship, Which gives us a timeframe. “Okay,” I say. “Who blew the bulkheads?” I can’t ask the question I want to ask. He doesn’t know I know to ask. Prose, in synch with me as ever, and impatient with my methods, inserts a thankfully-censored thumbnail into my visual field. I know, Prose. “Is this the only place with atmosphere? Any survivors?” Who put the neat holes in the foreheads of the navigator and the captain? Out of my view, down in the crew pit. Blood and worse. Prose’s stolen eyes caught it on the way in. Made it part of the briefing. “Engineering?” James says, in the desperate tones of a sole survivor. He’d seen some things he’d be seeing for the rest of his life. I don’t tell him that we could see the ship’s spine, what was left of it, from ten clicks out. Why bother. “Cargo?” In denial, maybe. He’s an engineer with a good idea of how fucked the ship is. He wants the numbers to match emotion. Me too, James.

I hit him with the second swarm, and the soporifics in the thing finally overwhelm him while the bots get to work. Better that way. I’ve gone under repairs like these conscious. I don’t recommend it.

He mutters something else, some other strand of nonsense as he goes down. I gently reach over and take the rifle from him. I realize the question I forgot to ask, set the laser rifle down, and unsling my own glass-thrower. Shift the comfortable weight of the gun in my hand.

“Send a drone down, Prose. Patch him up, alright?” James didn’t do this. Call it instinct. Training.

By way of answer, one of Prose’s dog-sized, beetle shaped drone floats into view, reaching mantis-limbs towards James’ sleeping form.

[quell-tea-salon]

Yumeiro Cast Dream Show 2017 event report!

In my short time in Japan I’ve attended quite a few concerts and seiyuu events, and this concert is honestly one of the best that I’ve experienced. I know this blog is mostly for QUELL, but I don’t have anywhere else to share this from... Feel free to scroll past if this isn’t for you.

I’ll also be rambling a lot about Hatanaka Tasuku and Hayashi Yuu ;w;

I recall regretting applying for tickets at some point, because having to travel from Kyoto to Tokyo (or rather, Chiba, since the venue was Makuhari Messe) just for the concert was a huge pain, and very expensive. Boy, am I glad I did though. To begin with, getting tickets to ANY popular event is a tough process. You have to enter a draw to have a shot at getting a ticket, and if you miss out on that, you’ll have to buy the tickets when they go on sale later, and they usually sell out in under ten seconds. I’m not kidding. I’ve experienced this pain. On multiple occasions. Anyway, the first draw was opened to players only (the URL link was a banner in the game’s home screen), which is a really nice gesture. I managed to get a ticket in this draw :)

I arrived at the venue about 30 minutes before the show and bypassed the merchandise corner, as the queue looked scary and I didn’t have much time. Jumped in the queue to take a photograph of the standees (pictured above; and yes, there was a queue for this too), which took about 15 minutes, and then rushed over to join a queue for one of the bathrooms (all of them had long queues /pukes blood). I started chatting with a lady in a cute dress in line behind me and found out that we both have Kaito as our fav (plus Subaru for me). She was happy to find another Kaito fan and whipped out a couple of beautifully packaged small prints from her bag and handed them to me *_* Turns out she’s an artists and draws a lot of Kaito!! I was so surprised but flattered and felt bad about not having anything on hand to give her in return... I just gave her the kiwi bird badge from my backpack that I picked up while traveling in New Zealand, sweats...

Minutes till starting time and we were still caught in the queue, though getting very close to the bathroom. We debated giving up and leaving to find our seats so we wouldn’t miss the opening act, but decided to stay since having to leave halfway through the show for the bathroom would be worse. A few minutes later we heard screams coming from the arena and thought that the show had started, but the girl behind us assured us that they were just playing some promotional videos on the big screen and that nothing was happening on stage. We passed the message on to the group of girls in front of us as we heard them fretting about the same thing. Community spirit!

I parted ways with my new friend after leaving the bathroom and went to find my seat; inside the arena the lights had already been dimmed and clearly something was about to start. I was still stumbling around in the dark when all seven members of Yumeiro Company burst onto stage to the tune of CALL HEAVEN!! and by the time I found my spot they were probably halfway through the song;;;;

My seat was on the third floor, but quite close to the left side of the stage, so in a way it was a good spot as I could just barely make out the faces of the performers standing on my side of the stage. Their formation, from right to left: Subaru, Kaito, Sousei, Kyouya, Hinata, Iori, and Jin. I was still shaky from scrambling to find my seat and honestly don’t remember much, but I know that they were all dressed sharply in formal suits, and that the chorus had a dance routine that was fun and cheerful, fitting of a musical show. As we all know, the cast of YumeCast has a lot of strong singers, so I could relax and appreciate the vocals. I managed to find my pen light too and was ready to finally join the party :3

After the opening act I thought they would break for an introductory talk, but they launched straight into the next song. Everyone except Kyoya left the stage as the intro for Kyoya’s solo, Kimi ni Chikatta Monogatari started playing, and we all scrambled to change our pen lights to pink. Tbh I think Ohsaka Ryota’s one of the less experienced singers in the group, but I was pleasantly surprised by his solid performance. He definitely leveled up a lot since the start of YumeCast, and each of his graceful, princely gestures was very much Kyoya.

Hinata jumped onto stage next to perform Glass no Shoes ha Niawanai (I should mention that these solos were game-sized length and played back to back like a medley). We all melted at how cute he was, and he even slipped in a few lines directed at “oneesan! ;)” *Audience screams and dies* Uemura Yuuto’s usually a good singer but he went off-pitch a few times, probably due to nerves...

Iori was next with Tsumetai Yozora wo Terasu no ha. This is the third time I’ve seen Hanae Natsuki live, and you can tell he’s a seasoned performer by how comfortable he is on stage, and how his vocals are always clear and steady. His lines as Iori made a lot of people in the audience scream, but honestly whenever I see Hanae his joker character is all I register and I couldn’t really appreciate Iori LOL.

Kaito appeared on stage, rocking along to PASSION LASER BEAM, and this is where I died. Hayashi Yuu is phenomenal to watch live, he’s arguably one of the best singers of the group and is amazing at working the crowd, which isn’t surprising considering he’s the vocalist of Screen Mode. Hayashu brought a living, breathing Kaito onto stage in all his haughty glory T_____T It’s my dream to one day catch Screen Mode live as well...

Jin’s Kokoro no (ry was up next. I have to admit that I’m not a fan of Jin’s singing, I think it forces Ono Yuuki to fake a lower register which stifles his singing and it sounds unnatural, which is a shame when Onoyuu has such a lovely smooth voice. Onoyuu kept his fooling around to a minimum at this point, but he couldn’t stop his sunny trademark grin ww

SUBARU! WITH BACKDANCERS!!! Performing You & Me... de, Wave!!! If I had to pick a fav moment in the show, this would be it. Hatanaka Tasuku is SUCH a skilled singer, there’s so much energy in his voice, and his solo even included an intense dance routine which was amazing to watch. This is my fav solo charasong from YumeCast and Subaru completely smashed it... I’m buying the DVD later so I can watch it again ;____; I was so blown-away by the performance that I didn’t even notice what he was wearing >< I also noticed that one of the security staff near my block, who, up till then, was doing a good job of checking on the audience, couldn’t help but look at the stage once Subaru started singing. He watched up till the 2nd chorus lol before turning back to his job.

[OOT: This is my second time meeting Tasuku and each time I see him I feel like a proud mother watching her son grow by leaps and bounds >< The first time I met him was at the 5th fan meeting for Nariyuki Night, hosted by Tasuku and Yonaga Tsubasa. It was a small, cosy event of maybe 200 people, and it blew my mind that we got to see them at such a close distance. The coolest part was that they implemented a bunch of interactive activities to get the audience involved, one of which was a game where they had to guess an item based on clues shown on screen and borrow it from the audience.... Which meant that they had to run up and down the aisles of the seats, and at one point Yonaga grabbed a girl’s hand and escorted her down to the stage *_* Tasuku came by my seat and stopped to think about clues, so I literally had him standing next to me for like half a minute ahjghadllkjad. Also they were dressed in school uniform as one of the many suggestions for the “summer theme”; Yonaga in a beige vest, short sleeves, and colourful hairclips in his hair (he really looked like Nagisa from Free!), and Tasuku with a loose red tie and long shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Cute af. Prior to that I’d only seen Tasuku on livestreams and heard him on radio, and I’m glad to report that he’s every bit as earnest and clumsy in person as he is on air, like an awkward oversized puppy still learning how to walk but excited for someone to throw him a ball ;w;]

The last solo was Sousei’s Dare mo ga Ashi(ry. I was looking forward to this as I’ve been a fan of Toyonaga Toshiyuki since his Tenimyu days, and I love his singing voice. He wasn’t as smooth as in the recorded version, but still a delight to hear live.

Without giving us time to catch our breath, the show moved on to the next song. Hinata appeared on stage in a dark suit and a cape, accompanied by dancers dressed in ghoulish outfits. It was Mysterious Mission! This was a super fun song with a cute zombie dance, and at one point Hinata was hoisted up onto the shoulders of the backdancers in a sort of ALL HAIL YOUR CUTE MONSTER LORD routine. An oh, all the songs from this point on were performed in full :3

Next, Subaru and Jin appeared in santa outfits for Holy Melody Night. This is probably one of my least favourite songs in YumeCast, imo it’s the wrong key for both singers and doesn’t really showcase their voices. They were both so cute on stage though! Running from one end of the stage to the other and waving at us with huge smiles. The concert hall was enveloped in a warm, sparkly atmosphere ;w;

Next was the moment I had been waiting for - Kaito’s Kamigami no Senen (still not sure about the reading for the last 2 kanji tbh). I was hoping that this song would be included in the set list T_______T Kaito caused a stir when he appeared on the stage at the back of the arena, which I wasn’t even aware of. Dressed in graceful white robes and enveloped in mist, he was so beautiful to watch, I forgot to breathe... This song is a Big Deal for me because it’s an unseen side of both Kaito and Hayashu; before Kamigami neither have ever performed with such delicate vocals afaik. Even Screen Mode’s ballads have a completely different feel. When the song ended, the audience quietly broke into applause, instead of the cheering or screaming that happened with other songs...

Kyoya appeared back on the main stage with Sand Mirage, dressed in an Arabian Nights-esque costume and matching dancers. I’m very fond of this song, it’s so catchy and seems to fit Kyoya’s vocal range the most! And it definitely showed off his singing skills. Beautiful vibrato on the notes at the end of the chorus ;3;

Sousei and Iori gracefully descended upon the second stage in butler outfits. The yandere Tapestry song! They started off with a short skit, probably lines from the musical, and when Hanae fumbled one of his lines Tosshi teased him about it ww This is one of my favourite duets but sadly the vocals were rather shaky, with both singing off-key at many instances. A+ for the skit, the bedroom lines directed at “ojousama”, and Sousei’s psychotic laugh at the end.

I should love Final Approach since it features my two favs Subaru and Kaito, but unfortunately it’s one of the most boring songs for me... It didn’t stop me from appreciating the singing though. And the beautiful harmonies in the chorus. And the two boys in pilot outfits. And the high-five halfway through the song!! This was also the moment I understood the reason why some people bring two or more pen lights as I couldn’t decide whose colour to use...

Jin and Kyoya rose up from platforms under the stage in shinsengumi robes for Hi ha Noboru(ry. The katanas holstered on their hips were drawn for a fight scene vs the back dancers! The stage was bathed in violet and blue to match the moody atmosphere.

Then Iori and Kaito hopped onto stage and we all bobbed along to Sekai ha Koi to SWEETS! AND! KISS! *waves pen light frantically* This is such a cute song and both Iori and Kaito were super cute, throwing saccharine lines at the audience and getting everyone to join in the fun ;w; Iirc both of them even threw us some flying kisses....

Next, Stronger Than Medicine with Hina and Sousei. In white doctor’s coats and supported by a big group of dancers, Hina played the experienced head doctor while Sousei tagged along like a clueless junior lol. Parts of the dance were very cute and funny for comedic effect, and though for the most part it wasn’t an intense dance routine Tosshi still managed to show off his dancer background >< I kinda wished that we got to see him dance in a more high-tempo song, but Sousei gets all the ballads...

Around this time I noticed that a group of staff were busy setting up some sort of elevated platform-trolley thing at the end of the corridor between the 2nd and 3rd floor; I’d seen something similar happen at the Yuri on Stage event and my heartbeat jumped as I guessed what would happen next...

When the lights turned back on, the rest of the crew had joined Hina and Sousei on stage, and everyone was in their blue and white sailor outifts for Sunshine World Tour! This was the FIRST break in the show, can you believe it? The cast FINALLY introduced themselves (still in-character), and then Sousei announced that the show was about to come to and end, which came as a surprise because it honestly didn’t feel like the show started that long ago, even though we had actually sat through a LOT of songs. The audience began to whine “Ehhhhhhh?” Then the music for Sunshine World Tour started and the cast split into 2 groups, making the audience scream when they headed into the crowd, climbed up the stairs to the 3rd floor, and boarded one of the two trolleys on either end of the corridor. The audience went crazy when they realised what was happening! On the trolley that started from my end of the hall were Kyoya, Jin-san, and Hina, singing and waving enthusiastically at the audience as they traveled around the U-shaped concert hall. I couldn’t believe my eyes when they passed right in front of me... From my seat in the 2nd row they were SO CLOSE, and even at eye level! I honestly could’ve hi-fived them if I stretched out my arm. When the 2nd trolley came by I had my pen light set to orange and hoped Kaito would wave at me, but he was busy engaging the upper floors. Iori met my eyes though and gave me the sweetest smile ;w; They were meant to sing Sunshine World Tour, but very little singing was done as everyone was busy greeting and waving at the audience wwwwwwww It was a real treat for everyone on the 2nd and 3rd floors...

After the trolleys reached the opposite ends of the hall, the cast made their way back to the main stage and we were asked to sing along to the the chorus for a while as lyrics popped up on the screen :D After the song ended, the cast said their thanks and waved goodbye before disappearing backstage. The lights dimmed again and the audience began to chant “Encore~! Encore~!”

We were probably in the dark for about 5 minutes before the cast came back onto stage, dressed in Dream Show 2017 t-shirts. The cast could finally introduce themselves lol. “We can finally speak! As ourselves!!” “It is okay? Can I really start talking? OKAY I’M DOING IT :DDD” Onoyu let loose and chaos descended upon the stage wwwwww There was no outline for this talk segment so they pretty much did whatever they wanted www

What I can recall, in dot points:

Thanked us for all the love and support which allowed YumeCast to reach it’s 2nd anniversary

Ohsaka was super nervous as it’s his first concert, and Tosshi said that he kept muttering “I’m so nervous” up till the moment before their first appearance on stage, yet once he stepped onto stage he slipped right into character and looked so calm and confident

Tosshi and Onoyu admitted that they sing with their faces (their facial expressions are “noisy”)

Tosshi praised Ohsaka for bringing the rowdy team together like a real Kyoya, and Ohsaka lamented the fact that nobody listens to him while the rest of the team surrounded him and danced and hooted like gorillas www

Tosshi thanked the crew and staff for all their hard work behind the scenes, from dance choreography to costumes. Staff were always on standby backstage, ready to help them change into their next outfits, and as he watched the staff work frantically to keep the show running he truly felt like he was part of a real life Yumeiro Company troupe.

Up till the last rehearsal, Hayashu got one of the hand gestures for CALL HEAVEN!! wrong (he made a fox shape instead of a “W” for “welcome”)

Tasuku and Yuuto put in a lot of practice for their dances. Yuuto practiced his zombie shuffle even while out walking in public and got stared at. “My favourite part of the dance is when they lift me up! :D”

Hanae said it was unfair that Hinata could capture everyone’s hearts just with his “Onee~san♥”, so someone suggested everyone do their own version of “oneesan“ and put them to a vote.

Tasuku was up first... and promptly tripped over his first line, in typical Tasuku fashion wwwww I love him, he’s so clumsy and uncoordinated ;3; They gave him a second chance and this time he said something along the lines of “Thank you for your support this past two years!” and ended on a very cute and energetic “oneesan!!!!” Ughhh PUPPYYYYY

Kaito’s embarrassed tsundere “O.. onee...san...”

Sousei’s calm, somewhat sly “Oneesan :)”

The audience cracked up at Kyoya’s “Oneesan, jiken desu.” (Oneesan, there’s been an accident.) I had to look this up but it’s apparently a famous line from an old TV drama called HOTEL, lol

Kyoya’s take 2. A heartfelt message to all the scriptwriters in the audience, followed by the sweetest “...oneesan”.

Hanae did a skit where Iori was surprised but ecstatic about receiving a present from the MC in the form of a limited edition shoebill merch. “Thank you, oneesan!!”

Zun-san..... was Zun-san. “How about we spend the night together? My one and only oneesan♥”

Finally, the last boss. Hinata started to speak in that saccharine-sweet voice, “Boku,” and already half of the audience were screaming from that first word... “I’ll keep on working hard, so keep your eyes on me, okay? Oneesan♥“ *dying whale sounds from audience*

“Why did we even have this competition, we already knew who the winner would be.”

“You had them at “Boku”...”

Tosshi pointed out that they shouldn’t leave out the handful of guys in the audience, so everyone banded together and yelled “Thank you, oniisan!” and the guys responded with “Yeaaaaaaah!!!” haha

Farewell messages, final thoughts, and thank you’s

Ohsaka admitted that in his first year of playing Kyoya he had regrets about accepting the role, but after some time he found ways to connect with Kyoya and he’s very happy to be part of YumeCast. (I had a feeling that he wasn’t enjoying himself when I watched him on YumeCast livestream... turns out my hunch was correct :0 I’m glad that he’s found his place now!)

Next they showed a video announcing upcoming projects (live action musicals, new CD’s, drama CD’s) and the release of the DVD/BD of Dream Show 2017. Everyone else perched on the staircase to watch the video but Tasuku made himself small and sat on the floor with his knees folded primly. Smol puppy....

Lastly, the crew performed NEVER END STORIES as confetti cannons shot glitter over the arena. Then the dancers joined the cast on stage for the final farewell. Everyone took their turn bowing and saying thanks. Kyoya was last to leave the stage, and he lingered for a few moments to thank the audience. Sousei, who was near Kyoya, came up to him and said “Kyoya, let’s go :)” and Kyoya nodded before retreating from the stage. *Audience dies again*

After the show, I remember feeling so happy and satisfied. Of course, every event I’ve attended has been fun, but none of them made me feel as loved and appreciated as YumeCast Dream Show 2017. They knew what we wanted, and they delivered. I rate it 10/10 for being jam-packed with content (honestly, nobody expected them to perform this many songs), and it was very impressive that every song had its own set of costumes and choreography. It really felt like watching a musical show. The concert felt like it ended too soon because everything moved so quickly, but it had actually run for just over 2 hours. I do wish that they had given the cast more talk time, but i guess that was sacrificed to make space for more songs. I can live with that.

I’ve been playing YumeCast for almost a year now and have considered quitting several times since the gameplay gets pretty repetitive after a while (plus new games coming into my life), but after this concert I have fallen in love all over again and will continue to support YumeCast ;3; Honestly, just from watching the monthly livestreams you can tell how hard they try to keep us happy.

[paultoner]

Beaky Brixton

As London Bridge burns down, Brixton’s drink prices are burning up. Is pricey booze to blame for the excessive number of nightlife goers sniffing their way to a good time?

When I left Liverpool for London this past September, my extensive search for the best night out the big smoke has to offer was met only with one answer, Brixton.

For weeks I was itching for my chance to venture into the epicenter of all things cool.  After all, I was promised a night out like no other, one surrounded by South London’s most eccentric characters, letting the thumping techno from London’s hardest DJs take us through till the break of sunrise tells us it’s time to make our way home.

And finally the time came, Australia’s hottest new offering, Mall Grab, was set to spin four hours worth of lo-fi house jams at the esteemed Phonox. Bewildered by the queue, which stretched half way around the club’s perimeter, my growing impatience for a dance and a fairly strong bev at this point was eased by the praise I continually kept overhearing about the club.

“Mate how have you not been to Phonox before, it’s actually the sickest club in South London, no joke”, one young geezer franticly proclaimed to me, dressed like he was plucked straight out of Spike Island, clad in a bucket hat and V-necked Hawaiian shirt despite the October frost slowly approaching. Apparently according to him, Phonox wasn’t just a nightclub, it was a mecca for electronic music, a religious sanctuary where we were all about to embark on a spiritual enlightening, sacrificing ourselves to a god of techno, which in turn would make us all bigger and better people by the end of the night. So I bit the bullet and waited, 45 long minutes later, and £15 down, I was in.

All the babble coming from this bloke in the queue actually turned out to be kind of true. Blood red lasers dazed me as they darted from each corner of the club as if Cyclops of the X-Men was invited to join the party, each thrashing house beat colliding my cheeks like a Tyson uppercut, leaving an anesthetic buzz which lasted much longer than a trip to the dentist.

But soon the blissful numbness was to wear off, leaving behind a sharp ache, not to my tooth but to my wallet. Two vodka redbulls set me back £20, another tenner lost on two Jägerbombs, the plastic in my wallet practically whimpering at this point as I took a Tom Daley height dive into a Olympic sized pool of financial debt from what was promised to be a cheap and cheerful night out.

Of course, this isn’t just a problem in Phonox, London as a whole has morphed from a melting pot of different cultures to a melting hole in each of our bank accounts, meaning you’re left with canned macaroni and cheese for the rest of the week because a few drinks after work sent you £40 over budget. These Phonox devotees must be deranged, how could you possibly afford to keep coming to this club without selling an arm and a leg in the process?

In actual fact, the bar was avoided by the majority of attendees throughout the night. Instead, pupils grew into craters and bodies moved like Ian Curtis did back in the days of Joy Division, occasionally halting to pose in front of iPhone flashes like deers caught stranded in headlights. In comparison to my Adidas tracksuit bottoms, coke and ketamine were the most popular white stripes of the evening.

Dabbling in such powders in search for a sense of euphoria has been a prominent element of London’s nightlife scene for decades, but in the case for many gentrified club nights in the capital, it’s become the cheaper option, so can you really blame them?    

For half a gram of cheap coke in the capital, you’re looking at around £45, leveling up to the same price as entry to the club plus three drinks. So unless you’ve gone with blow, or preloaded to the point Lambrini begins to pour out of your eyeballs, you’re going to have to break the bank for a good time at Phonox.

I may have found the best night out in Brixton, but it certainty ain’t a cheap one.

[terryblount]

First RAGE 2 update released, is 8GB in size, fixes crashes, makes Bandit Camps replayable and more

Bethesda has released the first major update for RAGE 2. This patch will update your game’s version to 1.03, is 8GB in size,  new features, fixes, as well as optimizations. Going into more details, this patch makes Bandit Camps replayable, adds new Voice Packs, and brings menu optimization improvements to address some slowdown issues.

Furthermore, this first patch improves sharpness on high-res screens to reduce “blurriness”, fixes an issue where PC players could not access friends, statistics, or the store, fixes a crash that occurred when the player hovered their mouse over a location icon in the map, and fixes an issue where the title crashed when launching the game using minimum spec hardware.

It’s also worth noting that this update brings a number of UI fixes and tweaks, some audio and localization improvements, as well as numerous gameplay fixes. For instance, it fixes an issue where Photo Mode options were missing upon reentering the mode, fixes an issue where sometimes the player is unable to finish “Yeoman Growery” location due to the fact that not all enemies spawn, and improves the camera viewpoint by no longer making it shake violently when grabbing on to tall ledges.

As always, Steam will download this patch the next time you launch its client, and you can find its complete changelog below.

RAGE 2 Update #1 Release Notes

FEATURES AND IMPROVEMENTS

Bandit Camps are now replayable! Open your map and select any previously cleared bandit camp to replay them as much as you’d like — and get rewarded.

New Wasteland Wizard Cheat Codes: Low Gravity, Bloody Mess, Phoenix Rejector Seat, Klegg Support. Find Cheat Codes from the Wasteland Wizard and activate the new cheats in the ‘settings’ menu.

New Voice Packs added! Ozzy Man Reviews “You Call That a Wingstick?” and German “TV Fatal”. Activate the new voice packs in the ‘settings’ menu.

Wasteland Wizard now only travels to 3 different locations instead of 15.

Menu optimization improved to address slowdown issues.

Crate Improvements! Improved melee hit detection and increased visibility at night.

Improved sharpness on high-res screens to reduce “blurriness”.

Adjusted the day/night cycle. (Previously, the day time moved too slow, night time lasted too long).

Digital Deluxe Upgrade now available in the in-game Store.

Bethesda.net Friend Leaderboards now available for Mutant Bash TV.

Fixed issue where linked Bethesda.net accounts appear as unlinked after re-establishing network connection.

PERFORMANCE AND STABILITY

Fixed an issue where weapons, armor, and abilities disappeared after loading a save.

Fixed an issue where the PS4 version of the game would hang on the legal screens when attempting to boot the title without a network connection.

Fixed an issue where PC players could not access friends, statistics, or the store.

Fixed a PC crash that could occur when exiting to the desktop.

Fixed a crash that occurred when the player hovered their mouse over a location icon in the map.

Fixed a crash that occurred when the player was using the Icarus.

Fixed an issue where the title crashed when launching the game using minimum spec hardware.

Fixed a crash that occurred when skipping Prowley’s cutscenes.

USER INTERFACE

Fixed an issue where debug text and symbols were visible in the Settings menu.

Fixed an issue where debug text was visible in Reticle Style settings.

Fixed an issue where multiple UI elements were in slow motion.

Fixed an issue where magazine weapon upgrades text will remain showing on incorrect weapons and after closing menu.

AUDIO & LOCALIZATION

Fixed an issue where character voice lines may infrequently fail to play.

Fixed an issue where dialogue lines occasionally do not play any VO or cut off early.

Fixed an issue where battle music no longer played after the completion of Blackout.

Fixed an issue where music was missing at Winner’s Lounge.

Fixed an issue where no SFX played when unlocking ability levels or ability perks in the Nanotrites menu.

Fixed an issue where skipping the intro cutscene early may stop VO lines in character selection to stop playing.

Sound effects are now heard when a motorcycle falls over.

Resolved an issue where two separate countdown audio queues played out of sync at the start of race.

Sound for “New log entry” HUD no longer missing.

Fixed an issue where audio feedback was not heard when the player takes damage from the lasers in Goliath Plant Control Room.

Player no longer repeats Hurt VO when touching a Electricity Drop, but isn’t damaged.

Sound effects for opening the hatches covering the reactor now plays properly at Shrouded Sub Station Alpha.

Grenade VFX no longer appear misaligned when user cooks a grenade while moving

Smart Rocket Launcher no longer missing VFX when firing in Overdrive

Fixed an issue where “Intel Collected” displays debug text when playing in any localized language.

Fixed the Japanese date and time localization on Save and Load screens.

Fixed the Russian localization for Golden Pistol.

All Languages – Log – Description of Polite request to BLOW UP GAZCATRAZ! intel is affected by inconsistency issues.

Fixed authority sentry VO distortion in JP SKU.

Resolved several localization issues including overlapping text for PTBR, zhTW, zhCN and KO.

Resolved broken “Help” hyperlinks in Polish or Brazilian Portuguese.

GAMEPLAY BUG FIXES

Now possible to change key bindings for the Defibrillation mini-game (previously, it defaulted to WASD).

Fixed an issue where Dr. Kvasir’s dialogue prompt did not work from certain angles

Fixed several portions of ChazCar where some areas of the course do not teleport the player back to track

Fixed an issue where the Nicholas Raine armor would always be seen on the player

Fixed an issue where signing out after resuming from a suspended state would allow the player to stay in the game, which would corrupt all saves.

Fixed an issue where Photo Mode options were missing upon reentering the mode.

Fixed an issue where Crushers would get stuck after their intro animation.

Fixed an issue where Walker would become invincible by dying and then using slam in the MBTV “The Ranger” challenge.

Fixed an issue where Gazcatraz may not be completed after killing all enemies.

Fixed an issue where it was not possible to steer right with motorcycles if you changed the keybinding to any key except the default key.

Fixed a crash that occurred when fighting an Authority Sentry north of Lagooney

Fixed an issue where creating a new save and quitting to the main menu during Gulo’s speech would cause Marshall not to radio the player, blocking progression.

Fixed an issue where some story locations with no collectibles could not be marked as completed.

Fixed an issue where the Phoenix did not respawn when coming within reach of it (around 200m) on Xbox One.

Fixed an issue where the Annihilator did not fit correctly inside the location.

Fixed an issue with the Wingstick Lock-on control description button icon.

Fixed an issue where a player’s friends list on Steam was failing to show added friends for some players.

Fixed an issue where the vehicle, bikes, and helicopter keybindings conflicted with each other.

Fixed an issue where changing the minimum resolution scale after switching window mode would result in graphical corruption.

Fixed an issue where touching the barrier when encountering General Cross would result in the player becoming stuck on the wall.

Fixed an issue where the wall near the “Cult of the Death God” cave entrance and exit door may pull and clip the player through the wall.

Fixed an issue where the Charged Pulse Cannon would appear invisible when opening the Ark.

Fixed an issue where engaging the mutant worshipers from the grate overlooking the shrine caused them to become stuck running into wall

Fixed an issue where the player would be unable to Fast Travel or spawn vehicles upon completion of Authority Bunker section of The Signal

Fixed an issue where the player could activate Focus oriented objects at an awkward angle and/or without looking directly at them

Fixed an issue where the player was able to trigger purchase confirmation prompts on previously bought items

Fixed an issue where the Charged Pulse Cannon model was missing when it was revealed to the player for pick up.

Fixed a Bethesda.net issue where the player could become control locked by opening the manage account modal and starting a new game simultaneously

Fixed an issue where the player could become stuck if they progress to the exit door before completing the Ark at Quake Hill.

Fixed an issue where the player was unable to change menu navigation keys leading to conflicts when rebinding keys.

Fixed an issue where the Dash ability did not make a sound when used

Fixed an issue where loading an autosave made after completing an ark causes objective to not complete and rewards not to be given

Fixed an issue where winning ChazCar derby mission registered as a loss and blocked progression

Fixed an issue where the Abadon Crusher would “morph” into a ball when transitioning from one animation to another when the player approaches.

Fixed an issue that automatically cancelled error messages when failing to log in.

Fixed an issue where hitting the Phoenix with a vehicle near the city entrances causes vehicle to disappear before being stored.

Resolved flickering shadows that occurred inside building at D and D’s Hood.

Fixed an issue where the title would freeze if player attempts to delete or overwrite saves

Entering Eden Space Center at night no longer makes rooms incredibly dark

Fixed an issue where abandoning Project Dagger and restarting it with another car prevents the player from entering the Xerxes.

Convoy Locator no longer always shows Convoys on Compass including when Capture and Control are hidden on map.

Fixed an issue where when exiting a location where the sun is disabled, there is a pop in lighting

Fixed an issue where if a player is signing into a linked account with expired legal agreements, they will be blocked from accessing the Bethesda.net module.

Player will now receive an error message if they try to connect to a Bethesda.net account that is already linked.

Player will no longer appear unlinked to Bethesda.net after constraining or suspending multiple times.

Fixed an issue where location tracking UI text wouldn’t update when selecting or deselecting Track Location

Fixed an issue where the camera angle transition was too harsh when operating vehicles

Fixed an issue where if the player runs out of the elevator as it ascends in the secret bunker, it leaves them stuck

Shadow flickering no longer present on light transitions on PlayStation 4

Fixed an issue where non-standard game modes in MBTV showed player without Ranger Armor

Fixed missing controller vibration with the Phoenix Blast upgrade

Fixed an issue where the Combat Shotgun ammo display was inconsistent between Scattershot and Slug Shot modes.

Fixed a UI issue with the incorrect display of a Reward Popup.

Camera no longer shakes violently when grabbing on to tall ledges.

Player can no longer go out of the world using Grav Jump and Vortex during MBTV.

Fixed an issue where the Predator Tank is almost destroyed after player loads back in from dying in it

Fixed an issue where hovering over EASY with the mouse, the player can’t use arrow keys to select another difficulty option

Fixed an issue where opponent vehicles sometimes get teleported ahead of the player

Navigation Tool for the Map no longer breaks after completing a race

Fixed an issue where Firestorm Revolver bullets would not stick to props

Fixed an issue where Doomsayer Peak may not be completed after killing all enemies

Fixed an issue where sometimes the player is unable to finish “Yeoman Growery” location due to the fact that not all enemies spawn.

First RAGE 2 update released, is 8GB in size, fixes crashes, makes Bandit Camps replayable and more published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/