#HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS TO YOU KRIS!!!!

[fyodcrs]

Perfect partners ♡

Happy birthday, Kris!!! @kunikiiida-kuuun ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧˚ ♡♡♡♡

[buckactuallys]

pulls our hearts towards home

happy birthday kris @hattalove!!

“Here you all are,” Alex says from the door, taking in the sight of four of her siblings on Buck and Eddie’s bed with them. She’s dressed already, but comes to sit down cross-legged at the foot of the bed next to Chloe anyway.

Chloe uncurls a little and grins up at her, and Leo kicks at her knee. “There’s no space!”

“You guys.” Christopher is the last of their kids to show up, leaning against the door frame in all his exasperated teen glory. “Forget about space, there’s no time, we have to get to school!”

“Chris is right,” Buck says, lifting Noah off a protesting Olivia. “Up and at ‘em, everyone wash up and get dressed, I want you all at the breakfast table in 15 minutes!”

Olivia pulls the duvet over herself and squeals when Eddie starts tickling her through it. Buck sets Noah onto his feet next to the bed, offering his hand to hold on to, and smiles to himself. Knowing his family, he’s got at least 20 minutes to prepare breakfast, and he wouldn’t change it for the world.

~

The Diazes get a dog on a Tuesday. Well – two dogs.

a big family buddie fic, 4.5k, [read on ao3]

[jerevision]

Everyone please join me (and Kris and Bojan) in wishing @reserved-fruit the happiest of birthdays!!

Thank you for always blessing us with best BoKris content. You are after all, Madame BoKris! 😘

[hazzybat]

@mitamicah this is very cursed, very stupid and very very low effort that i don't even know if it's funny or just dumb.

joker out wonka AU i guess.

The three wonka’s were famous for their factory. Unimaginable delights trickled out of their door and their creators just as mysterious as the secrets of the sweets they produced. All that was known was the three had made their fortunes together, being the greatest candy makers anyone had know.

Nace Jordan was a strange child. Mostly because he was not a child but a 29 year old man who lived with his good friend Kris who despite being 23 was lovingly called grandpa. He’s earned the nickname through an incredibly complex story of running gags, a weird roommate relationship a brief time in the circus and three different cats named steve. If I were to tell you the whole story it would end up an entirely different fanfiction.

The wonka factory had been sitting abandoned for many years. Everyone assumed the creators were dead, no children of their own or shady lawyers to pass on the empire of chocolate to. Then one day smoke started billowing out from the candy cane stripped smoke stacks and trucks began filing out of the factory once more. The town below was abuzz with excitement especially after there was an announcement. A video that claimed 5 golden tickets were to be won for a tour of the factory and a very special prize at the end.

Kris was dirt poor and Nace was dirt poorer. They lived in what was not legally a house and at night they would burn their own armpit hair to stay warm. It didn’t keep the fire going very long and really they should have used wood but that sounded less pathetic and sad.

One day Nace came home after had earned his paycheck at the miserable child orphanage (the owner’s name was Mr Miserable and the orphanage was the happiest place in the whole town with people flying in from all over the country to adopt little children from it’s doors because they were just that happy and well behaved). He found Kris eating a chocolate bar.

“I stole it from the weird freak on the street corner.” kris explained.

“steal-from steve?” Nace confirmed. Everyone stole from steal-from steve. It wasn’t even a crime anymore.

Kris then reached into his bag and pulled out another chocolate bar and handed it to nace, smiling sweetly at the way his eyes lit up.

“Happy birthday” he said.

Nace took the bar and held it like a newborn. It was a precious thing. Delicious and wonderful and just the thing to bring some joy into their poor, moneyless lives. He unwrapped the chocolate bar and couldn’t believe his eyes and the sight of a pure gold piece of paper. It was actual solid gold. Surprisingly heavy and as a result to compensate there was much less chocolate in the bar than in Kris’s. Nace pouted at the lack of chocolate.

“oh my god we’re going to tour the factory!” Kris beamed, pulling Nace out of his stupor and together they danced and cheered into the night, their excitement keeping them warm even when the fire died out.

The day of the factory tour came and the pair eagerly waited at the golden front entrance. Nace was allowed 1 person to accompany him. The others that had won was a finnish man with his friend who was also a finnish man and some other irrelevant people who I know you don’t care about because this is a really stupid story.

Finally the doors opened and ther before them stood the Wonkas. The first was a man with a mess of shoulder length black hair and a trimmed black beard. His wore a velvet suit with tails, lime green pants, a fancy black top hat and a shiny black cane. An led screen behind them (because they wanted to make sure the gathered crowd knew who they were) displayed the name JAN WONKA in big bold letters with little fireworks behind it.

The next Wonka was BOJAN WONKA according to the screen. His coat was a rich red with a much neater brown top hat and a colourfuly patterned cravat around his throat. He was shorter than Jan, with brown hair and a grey streak that fell out from under the top hat.

The final Wonka was JURE WONKA. His coat was bright purple, sensible brown pants and bright blonde hair stuck out from beneath the light brown top hat. He was easily the cutest of the Wonka’s and the author has no personal bias in that description whatsoever that is just how he is.

Then the author got bored and decided to not write anymore but you know the plot anyway.

[ilyiwantusbothtoeatwell]

hello priyo kri <3 i wish you the happiest birthday!!! and i sincerely hope your 20s will be the most joyous time of your life and you will get all the love, happiness and peace you deserve in your life and so much more<3333 *hugs and kisses * and all the best for college, bestu mwaah hehehehe🤍🤍🤍

hi hi hi my priyo mili<3 thank you so much reading this made me really happy and loved!! love you love you so much sending hugs🫂💓🌷🪻💐

[kook-ssi]

soft, comforting, extremely serotonin-giving jikook for @calicooky ❣️

cr: qdeoks, namuspromised, x, golden_kku

[stardustasincocaine]

Happiest of birthdays to @krisrix!!

Kris, you are an absolute delight and I hope you have The Best Day 🖤

Now I get to be that enthusiastic art student to the art teacher and shove art at you. Happy Birthday!!!

[hshqgossip]

THE RESULTS ARE IN !! find them under the cut. ( last year’s winner is in the brackets )

LIFE OF THE PARTY

jelani ( serafina )

DRAMA KING

arnauld ( giovanni )

DRAMA QUEEN

mimi ( barbie )

RAY OF SUNSHINE

lola ( aisling )

TRENDSETTER

olimpia ( olimpia )

DIRTBAG

jelani & george ( jelani )

FALLEN ANGEL

fanni ( natalia )

HALCYON

ariel ( ariel )

COQUETTE

dahye ( dahye )

LOTHARIO

jelani ( tajiri )

NETIZEN

ionie ( parker )

SYCOPHANT

( sergi ) nicolò

BLACK SHEEP

teo, george, hafiz & lixue ( silje )

CLASS CLOWN

aurel ( parker )

SHARPEST TONGUE

olimpia ( giselle )

BIGGEST GOSSIP

astrid

BIGGEST FLIRT

george & jelani & vitoria

BIGGEST GROWTH

fanni ( natalia )

BIGGEST OVER-ACHIEVER

tekla ( catherine )

BEST ENTRANCE

inna ( haera )

BEST NICKNAME

no clear winner but the best votes in our biased opinion were: the green goblin of ireland [ aisling ] and arnauld’s fifth limb [ freja ] and big dick kris ( ebba fucking bernadotte )

BEST ENTERTAINER

aurel ( leonardo )

BIGGEST PRANKSTER

george ( parker )

BEST SHOULDER TO CRY ON

fumiko ( layla )

BEST PERSON TO BE STRANDED ON AN ISLAND WITH

rohan ( rohan )

MOST LIKELY TO WIN THE HUNGER GAMES

lixue ( rohan )

MOST OUTSPOKEN 

aisling & olimpia

MOST LIKELY TO SUCCESS

gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss: ebba, lixue, tekla & wiebke ( lixue )

MOST LIKELY TO NEVER BE SINGLE ( NON-MARRIED ONLY )

no one won this but these are the names that were suggested: petro, aurel, fanni, arnauld, dianna [ married ], olimpia, zhenya, valentina [ married ], beau, sergi, biel, freja [ married ] ( fanni )

MOST LIKELY TO NEVER GET MARRIED

natasja ( jelani )

MOST LIKELY TO TALK YOUR EAR OFF

dominique ( cecilia )

MOST ACCIDENT PRONE

wendy ( rowen )

MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE PLANET

aisling ( aisling )

MOST GULLIBLE 

lola & miray

MOST TRAGIC BACKSTORY

milena ( vitor )

MOST FASHIONABLE

mai & ines ( anneli )

MOST CONTROVERSIAL

arnauld ( arnauld )

MOST INSPIRATIONAL

tekla & fumiko

THE RAVENCLAW

catherine, areum & kaspar

THE GRYFFINDOR

leonardo

THE HUFFLEPUFF

meixu

THE SLYTHERIN

arthur jr.

LOVE TO HATE

arnauld ( arnauld )

NUMBER 1 BACKSTABBER

elyse

POWER COUPLE

femke x samuel ( femke x samuel )

DREAM COUPLE

tekla x thore ( tekla x thore )

DYNAMIC DUO

isabela x ebba ( kaspar x wiebke )

INTER-GENERATIONAL DYNAMIC DUO

rohan x astrid ( rohan x astrid )

BRAINS & BRAWN

lixue x lixun ( tekla x thore )

PARTNERS IN CRIME

silje x olimpia ( bastiaan x isabela )

NEVER GONNA WORK

alexei x anneli ( jelani x astrid )

CUTEST COUPLE THAT NEVER WAS

levente x zhenya ( levente x zhenya )

JUST KISS ALREADY

lola x teo ( ilija x astrid )

TIME FOR A WEDDING

ebba x rohan ( viggo x armani )

BEST BROMANCE

aurel x jelani ( aurel x jelani )

SQUAD GOALS

femke x ebba x thore ( team bad taste in men ( kseniya x leonor x natalia ) )

FAVE FAM

the croÿs ( the romanovs )

FAVE CRACKSHIP

nadya x fanni & nadya x zhenya ( roman x anneli )

FAVOURITE RIVALRY

catherine x effie & arnauld x alexei

FAVOURITE ENEMIES

aurel x elyse

MOST SHOCKING REVELATION

arthur sr.’s death and art’s involvement & farnauld breakup ( kaspar x wiebke plans )

MOST HEARTBREAKING MOMENT

the thekla thread where tekla disowns fanni ( death of the crown prince of san marino )

MOST ROMANTIC MOMENT

sergi being protective of zhenya ( ebhan’s ‘i love you’ )

MOST BROMANTIC MOMENT

catherine covering up a murder for arthur jr & jelani and levente’s onsen date & isabela being ebhan's cover in india ( aurel x jelani dress up as beyonce x jay-z @ halloween )

HAPPIEST MOMENT

leobela wedding ( birth of samke’s baby )

BIGGEST MISTAKE

arnauld bombing brussels ( levente telling sylvia about milvente lovechild )

FAVOURITE FIGHT

the croÿ birthday brunch ( milena vs. levente )

BIGGEST WTF MOMENT

arthur sr dying ( theo x catherine fight over a desk )

FAVOURITE EVENT

the english murder mystery

FAVOURITE NEWS ARTICLE

the chinese intervention in brussels article

[shireness-says]

The Set-Up Scam

Summary: They’ve always been friends first and foremost - Emma and Killian, Killian and Emma - until suddenly, they’re something a little more too. But with a $600 betting pool on the line about when they’ll actually get together - well, maybe there’s incentive to keep the good news a secret. ~5.5k. Rated T for language. Also on Ao3. 

~~~~~

A/N: Merry Christmas, @nevertothethird! I was delighted to be your pair for @cssecretsanta2020. It’s been wonderful chatting with you, and I look forward to a full stalking. ;)

You said you liked secret dating, friends to lovers, and characters being forced to work together - so I, like a fool, tried to include all three. I hope you like the result!

Special thanks, as always, to my beta, @snidgetsafan - the greatest treasure under any tree.

Tagging: @ohmightydevviepuu, @welllpthisishappening, @thisonesatellite, @let-it-raines, @kmomof4, @scientificapricot, @thejollyroger-writer, @superchocovian, @teamhook, @optomisticgirl, @winterbaby89, @searchingwardrobes, @katie-dub, @snowbellewells, @spartanguard, @phiralovesloki, @profdanglaisstuff

Enjoy - and let me know what you think!

~~~~~

They’re friends, first and foremost. Best friends, really - Killian and Emma, Emma and Killian. Partners in crime and two peas in a pod and every other cliché there is (and Killian would definitely know all of them). It’s been that way since the very beginning, when Killian let her peek at his attendance quiz answers in that awful intro to astronomy class in college. Their relationship had grown from there: late nights in the library and each others’ dorm rooms, studying or watching movies or chatting, all the way through graduation and eventually grad school. They get each other in a way that usually doesn’t happen for Emma, both coming from rough backgrounds and determined to make the world a better place because of it. Hell, they even work together now at Misthaven County Middle School - Killian as an English teacher, and Emma as a guidance counselor. 

And all that time, it’s been strictly platonic. 

It’s not like Emma hasn’t looked. He’s an objectively good looking man, and smart and sweet and funny. But he’d been in some “it’s complicated” situation with a grad student when they’d met, and then Emma was in that weird period where she and Graham gave it a shot, and by the time they were both available… well, by that time, they’d been Emma and Killian. Killian and Emma. A collective, a pair, absolutely entwined every way but romantically. He’d become her person, and it wasn’t worth risking that. There was no guarantee a romantic relationship would work out, anyways - or that Killian felt the attraction too. 

The thing, though, is that they’re Emma and Killian. Killian and Emma. Always together, always in each other’s stories, two birds of a feather. People constantly think that they’re together - or should be.

Emma doesn’t really mind, most of the time. She and Killian usually think it’s pretty funny, trading stories back and forth on his or her couch. Where it gets annoying is when each and every one of their friends are determined they should be dating. It’s been years of meaningful looks and hints about “so why aren’t you seeing anyone, Emma?” - but the last straw is the stupid, stupid bet.

“I just don’ unnerstand why you and Killian aren’t a couple!” slurs Mary Margaret, assistant principal and friend, at her yearly end-of-summer bash. “You’re ovviously in loooooooooove.”

“Sure we are, Mary Margaret,” Emma placates. 

“But why haven’t you yet?” she demands. “You made me lose the pool!”

That draws Emma up short. “I’m sorry, what?”

The little pixie-haired brunette frowns. “Don’t you know? We’ve had a betting pool going for ages about when you’d get together this year. I thought for sure it’d be the Fourth of July.”

It’s a good guess, actually - Ruby throws a famously boozy bash every year at her grandmother’s diner, conveniently situated right below the inn. It’d make sense for them to get drunk and take things upstairs - except for the fact that none of this is rooted in sense in any way, shape, or form.

“That obviously didn’t happen,” Mary Margaret frowns sorrowfully, staring down into her plastic cup full of god-knows-what. It doesn’t last long, though, as she perks right back up. “But they let me make a new guess! I’ve got my money on the Friday after your birthday.”

“How much money are we talking here?” Emma can’t help but ask. It’s like a compulsion, one she doesn’t like or understand. 

“Five hundred and fifty dollars.” At least that’s what she thinks Mary Margaret says; the slurring gets particularly bad on the f-sounds. It’s an astounding sum. Truly stupid.

Kind of tempting.

“And everyone bet that it would happen this year?” she makes sure to clarify.

“Yup!” Mary Margaret pops the p-sound and then giggles to herself about the noise. 

“Then I’m putting fifty dollars on it not happening this year. That Killian and I won’t get together.”

———

She means it at the time, too. Because yeah, there’s sometimes that niggling little what if?, but they’ve known each other for eight years. Emma and Killian. Killian and Emma. It’s not going to happen - honestly she’s not even sure she would want it to.

Until. 

It’s not the Friday after her birthday, when they’re all going to hit the bar, but it’s the night before her birthday - a Tuesday. Killian comes over to grade vocab quizzes and eat greasy pizza, and stays to drink beer and watch stupid baking shows with her on the couch. Honestly, in so many ways, it’s a night like any other: two friends, just enjoying each other’s company.

Until.

Maybe it’s the beers. Maybe something’s been building for longer than she ever thought. Maybe it’s just that they’re both feeling good and, well, it is her birthday. But Killian kisses her - or she kisses Killian - they kiss each other and it’s like something slots into place. Like of course this was going to happen - they were just waiting for the perfect moment. It makes sense, in a way that Emma hasn’t let herself think about; he’s the person she trusts most, the best man she knows, probably the most important person in her life. Her best friend - and, probably, something more.

“That was…” he gasps, some indeterminable amount of time later. Somehow, he’s wound up on top of her on the couch - not that she’s complaining.

“Only the beginning,” Emma completes, smirking in a way she definitely picked up from him. 

Now that this has started, she has no intention of stopping. 

———

“Ok, don’t kill me - or, like, run away immediately - but I need a favor. A huge one,” Emma says much later, both of them naked and sated beneath her sheets.

Killian laughs beside her, peering up from the pillows with a smile. “After that, darling, I’m predisposed to give you just about anything you want.”

“And I’ll give it to you again,” she quips back, mostly to make him keep laughing. It works. “But seriously. Did you know that everyone’s got a bet going on us?”

That pops his head up. “I’m sorry, a bet? I… What? Who?”

“Seems like pretty much everyone. Ruby, Mary Margaret, David, Robin, Belle… I could go on and on. A six hundred dollar pool on when we get together.”

“Typical,” Killian mutters - though Emma catches a fond note in his tone. “Who’s the lucky winner, then?”

“Ok, this is where the favor comes in.” Hopefully this isn’t a breaking point for him; Emma would hate to have this taste of them, only to have it ripped away from her. “See, Mary Margaret told me about this when she got trashed at the back to school party, and I’d had a few too and was all hopped up on righteous fury or whatever, and I kind of… put fifty dollars in the pot that we wouldn’t get together this year at all.”

Killian stares at her for a moment, and Emma’s frankly scared that he’s going to get out of bed and go - but instead, he bursts into a near-hysterical cackle. “So you want to keep this a secret until the new year, so you can win the pot?”

Emma grins, knowing she must look like the cat that ate the canary (or however that weird-ass saying goes - again, English is Killian’s thing). “Exactly. We could spend it on a weekend getaway or something.”

“I’m in, then. Under the radar.”

“It’s just two months and change,” Emma says. “It’ll speed by. How hard can it be?”

———

Turns out - their friends are determined to make it as hard as possible. Even if they don’t know it.

Things are fine, at first. In fact, nothing really changes: Emma and Killian still show up at each others’ doors most nights, and Killian comes to hang out and grade papers in her office during his free periods most days. It’s just that their evenings are now filled with kisses and touches, and those afternoons in her office with all kinds of promises of things to come. It’s thrilling, in a way, to put on the front of normality for everyone else while only they know the truth. It’s nice, too, to be able to get their feet underneath them in this relationship without so many prying eyes watching them figure it all out. 

Just because they don’t know, though, doesn’t mean their friends stop trying. There’s a bet on the line, after all, and their friends have never exactly been ones to step back and let things naturally run their course. Not for those busybodies; not with six hundred dollars and Emma and Killian’s supposed happiness on the line.

(The fact that they’re right - that the two of them really are happiest together - is irrelevant.)

David, of all people, is the first to start meddling.

“Do you guys want to get dinner?” he asks out of the blue one day - calls Emma up on her phone and everything. “You and Killian and me and Mary Margaret, I mean.”

Emma’s antenna raises immediately. “What, like a double date? C’mon, David —”

“No! No,” he says hastily - a little too hastily, Emma thinks. “No, a cousin of mine - Kris, you’ve met him - he’s opening up his own restaurant. Some place with Scandinavian food, I guess?”

“That’s actually a thing?” 

“I guess. I don’t know, he studied abroad in Norway in college. Anyways, he could use a little business, support or whatever, so Mary Margaret and I figured we’d bring some extra people along. You know, help him out. And maybe Scandinavian food is good after all.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

The line sits silent for a moment, before David breaks. “So… you in?”

And as much as Emma suspects this is all some elaborate set-up - well, it’s supposed to be to help someone else. David’s cousin, who she has in fact met and is really a good guy. And so she reluctantly agrees. “Yeah, I’m in. One of us will have to check with Killian if he’s available —”

“What, he’s not right there with you?”

(He is, his lips kiss-swollen and pulled into a delicious smirk, but that’s not the point and none of David’s business.)

“ — but yeah, I’m down.”

In the week between the call and the dinner, Emma actually finds herself starting to look forward to it. Yeah, it won’t be a real date - not with David and Mary Margaret there - but it’s still a chance to wear a pretty dress that’ll make Killian’s eyes bug a little. She’ll have to pick something he’ll have fun taking off of her later, once they’ve pretended to go back to their own homes. 

Emma’s just pulling into the parking lot, however, when her phone rings, David’s name popping up on the screen. 

“We’re not going to make it tonight,” he says without preamble, followed by the most fake-ass cough Emma’s ever heard in her life. “We’re sick.”

“Yeah, sick off your own lies,” Emma mutters. “Alright, well, I guess we’ll go another time —”

“Oh no, I insist you guys still have dinner. You and Killian deserve to have a night off!”

“David, c’mon, don’t play dumb —”

He ignores her. “Besides, you’ll be doing me - and Kris - a huge favor. I already told him to charge whatever you guys get to me. Splurge a little, have dessert and a bottle of wine. It’s all on me.”

Killian climbs out of his own car as David pleads his case, cocking his head in confusion at the no doubt frustrated look on Emma’s face. He looks like he wants to kiss it better; Emma wishes he could actually do so.

“Fine,” she caves. “If you’re sure. But I’m running up the bill.”

“You say that like it’s a surprise.”

Emma takes particular glee in ending the call. She should have seen this coming. “Looks like David has come down with a possibly fatal cough, so he and Mary Margaret aren’t coming tonight,” she tells Killian, rolling her eyes. No need to resist that particular urge.

He snorts. “Ah, liar-itis. I thought he might be coming down with a case.”

“Complicated by meddler’s cough. Don’t forget that.”

“Of course not.” He dips down to capture her lips in a gentle, lingering kiss - another urge they don’t have to resist with none of their friends around to see it. “You look lovely tonight, Swan.”

She smirks back. “I know.”

“Of course you do,” he laughs. “I’m sure you wore that just to torment me through dinner. Now, shall we?”

“We shall.” Emma slips her hand through his offered arm. “Dinner’s on David, by the way.”

“I’d expect nothing less.”

———

“So, how was dinner?” David asks the next day, his cough mysteriously cleared up. 

“Good,” Emma replies, knowing exactly what he’s digging for. “Your cousin’s got a good lingonberry cheesecake. Don’t worry, Killian and I totally ran up the bill. Kris has been well supported. You’re welcome.”

“And?” he demands.

Emma makes sure to play up her confusion. “And… what? It was a great dinner, might even go back if I ever have a date, and then I went home. Honestly, what did you expect to happen, David?”

Even through the phone, she can almost hear him audibly deflate. Something like a sigh, or perhaps the sound of his entire plan collapsing in on itself. Personally, Emma thinks it’s hilarious.

(It’s especially funny when she vividly remembers the way Killian had stripped her out of that dress, can still feel the scratch of his beard on her inner thighs.)

(But again - those are things that David doesn’t need to know.)

———

The set-ups multiply like rabbits, and Emma starts to notice her and Killian being forced into more and more situations together, just the two of them. Fuck only knows why they think these clumsy attempts will work; after all, Emma and Killian held out for 8 years of each other’s company before finally getting together (without anyone’s help, she might add). Still, 

Trivia night is a weekly tradition for them all, down at the Rabbit Hole. Some weeks, the turnout is good; sometimes, not so much. They usually meet up at someone’s house and carpool from there because there’s not a ton of parking spots outside the bar, and it’s always worked well - two, maybe three cars instead of a half dozen or more. It’s a good time, and Emma always finds herself looking forward to Thursdays. 

Tonight, they’ve met at Robin’s, Killian’s former roommate. It’s a good crowd tonight, too - Robin and his fiance Marian, Mary Margaret with David, Belle the librarian, Ruby and Mulan, even Graham and Lance and Tink. The gang’s all here, probably trying to let loose a bit before holiday obligations set in, and they’re raring to go - all twelve of them.

Emma hopes that it’s not planned - that there just happen to be two cars and then some worth of people here - but it’s more likely planned. Robin probably twisted their arms to come, just for this.

“Emma, would you mind checking the door one more time?” he calls as they congregate in the driveway. “I’m sure I locked it, but I’ve just got that niggling little feeling…”

“Sure, no problem.” And it isn’t - it’s checking the damn door. Except it’s actually winding down his stupidly picturesque front garden path to the front door, and then having to maneuver around the always-unlocked outer glass door to make sure that the real door is locked, and then maneuvering and winding and everything back… and by the time Emma makes it back, everyone’s already piled into Mary Margaret’s station wagon and Robin’s little SUV, even the middle seats everyone usually hates, leaving just the conniving man himself and Killian standing on the asphalt. 

“Sorry, looks like the two of you will be riding together,” Robin says, not seeming remotely sorry. “This is convenient anyways! I know how much time you two spend together, if you decide that it’s easier to crash together afterwards… it wouldn’t be a problem for the extra car to stay here overnight.”

“Oh, I’m sure it wouldn’t be,” Emma grumbles. “I don’t suppose you have any underlying motive here, do you Robin? Say, to the tune of six hundred dollars?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” he responds cheerily. “I just really, really want you to know that you can keep your options open. And, you know, other euphemistic things if the urge moves you.”

Asshole.

(Emma does not leave her car at Robin’s overnight - but that doesn’t stop Killian from meeting her at her place afterwards.

“This euphemistic enough for you, love?” he teases as Emma pulls at his shirt, trying to tug the cotton tee over his head.

“How’s this for a euphemism: fuck me.”

“That’s not exactly how that word works, Swan.”

“I could not possibly give fewer shits about semantics than I do right now, Killian, unless it somehow relates to you getting your pants off.”

Somehow, even in the midst of their frantic stripping, he manages to laugh. “As you wish.”

She’s always preferred straight talking anyways.)

———

“Thank god I found you both!” Mary Margaret declares, bursting into Emma’s office a little too dramatically for her tastes. Until now, she and Killian had been having a wonderful lunch together, but that’s obviously a thing of the past now. 

“That seems a little extreme for a Friday,” Killian comments mildly as he sets his cafeteria burger back down on the styrofoam tray. Personally, Emma thinks the cafeteria food is disgusting, but Killian’s got a real fondness for the cheeseburgers, and especially the french fries. No one’s perfect, she guesses. “What terrible impending tragedy can Emma or I save you from, Mary Margaret?”

“Kathryn’s father is in the hospital, so she and Fred can’t work their assigned booth at the Winter Carnival tomorrow.” Storybrooke County School District’s charity carnival is a tradition every winter - one Mary Margaret takes very seriously. Something that’s clearly about to come back and bite them all in the ass. “Would you two be able to cover tomorrow? You’d be doing me such a huge favor…”

Killian raises a single eyebrow as he turns to meet Emma’s eye - that eyebrow that always seems like a dare. “My schedule’s clear this weekend. Count me in. What do you say, Swan, think you can find room in your schedule to save Mary Margaret from the tragedy of all tragedies?”

Emma rolls her eyes at the way he’s putting it on thick, but truth be told, her only plans had been spending the day with Killian. Might as well. “Sure, what the hell,” she says, reaching for another bite of her microwave pizza. “I don’t have anything else going on.”

In retrospect, Emma realizes that Mary Margaret could have done something terrible with this - assigned them to the kissing booth or something. God, she hopes that there’s not a kissing booth at a middle school carnival, but it feels like just the kind of thing she’d pull. Thankfully, they’re set up at the ring toss game. It’s not strenuous in the least; they don’t even have to take money, just paper tickets. Really, the only questionable thing is that they’re crammed right together in the box formed between the booth walls and the counter and the table of bottles behind them. Maybe that’s something that would have bothered her a few weeks ago, back when they were Emma and Killian but not Emma and Killian. Now, it’s just an excuse to get right up in his space and enjoy all those little touches, right under everyone’s nose.

(Maybe, every time they have to duck under the counter to retrieve poorly-thrown rings, Killian takes the opportunity to steal a quick kiss while no one else can see. And maybe - just maybe - Emma uses those same opportunities to steal her own kisses right back.)

“Soooooo, how’s it going?” Mary Margaret chirps when she pops up out of nowhere mid-afternoon. It’s like she thinks she’ll find them making out in the middle of the carnival or something. Which… fair. The urge is there. But they’re professionals - and Emma wants that money, dammit. She’s not caving here.

“Just fine, Mare,” Emma replies. “Nothing worth reporting.”

“There’s not? You two are looking awfully cozy in there… nothing to report?”

“Well, you’re the one who set up the booths, so…”

“Aye, just making the best of it,” Killian helpfully adds.

Emma almost feels guilty about the way that Mary Margaret visibly deflates.

“You know this was another ridiculous set-up, right, love?” Killian asks once their friend has walked away. “She probably never even needed our help. It was all a ploy.”

“I see it now,” Emma sighs. “I had just weirdly hoped she’d be above all that bullshit.”

Killian quirks that eyebrow yet again. “Mary Margaret? Infamous meddler? Of course not. It’s cute that you thought that though, darling.”

“Oh, shut up.”

(“Mary Margaret told me to take the weekend off, that they’d over-scheduled,” Kathryn tells Emma later when she tries to ask how the other woman’s father is doing. “Was that not the case?”)

(Fucking figures.)

———

Ruby, frankly, is not a surprise. In fact, if there was one person Emma would figure would be pulling this bullshit, it’s Ruby. The girl’s too competitive for her own damn good - not to mention that mile-wide chaotic streak running through her soul.

“Pucker up!” she crows, thrusting what Emma assumes is a sprig of mistletoe over her and Killian’s heads. They’re at Ruby and Mulan’s place for… some party; it’s probably, maybe holiday themed, but Ruby’s never needed an excuse to throw a party. Anything to get them all drunk and laughing and forgetting about the stresses of the week.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Emma demands. “Ruby, don’t be stupid. This isn’t college anymore.”

“Oh, like we ever did this in college,” Ruby scoffs with that devious twinkle in her eye. “Besides, college shenanigans are a state of mind. And I’m not giving that up. Now c’mon, no weaseling out of this.”

“It is the rules,” Mulan points out, appearing to slip her arm around Ruby’s waist and drop an affectionate - if slightly tipsy - kiss on her shoulder.

“Yeah, you hear that? Smart half says it’s the rules. So go ahead and pucker up and kiss him. And then go make out for a while and maybe bone each other so I can win the pool.”

Killian blushes a little bit at the phrasing - something that’s surprisingly cute on him, knowing how often he usually tosses around the innuendoes and exactly how dirty a mouth he has when they’re alone. Before Emma knows what he’s doing, he leans in to press a gentle kiss to her cheek, and then another, smacking one for good measure. “Who are we to deny the great, determined Ruby Lucas?” he proclaims grandly. “One kiss: delivered.”

Ruby’s face gets a bit mutinous; it’s the only word for that particular storm cloud, really. “No it isn’t! That’s cheating!”

“Eh. Technically, it was a kiss.” God bless Mulan for being the only one willing to go against Ruby when she’s got a plan; perks of being the girlfriend, Emma supposes. 

“And more importantly, Rubes, that’s all you’re going to get from us.” And that’s Emma’s last word on the subject.

(“Happy Christmas, darling,” Killian whispers into her neck later once they’re back at her place, dangling his own sprig of mistletoe over their heads. “How about it? C’mon, give us a kiss.”

Emma is more than happy to comply.)

———

Emma wouldn’t say it’s common for her to get calls from the school librarian, Belle, but it’s not unusual either. So when Belle calls her up in mid-December, shortly before Christmas break, Emma doesn’t think twice about it.

“The new Scholastic catalogs are here,” Belle informs her. “I haven’t started sending them to classrooms yet, but if you want to take a look now…”

“I’ll be right there.” Yes, the catalogs are full of books for middle school students, but Emma still loves those things. They’re chock-full of nostalgia.

“I haven’t even taken them out of the box yet,” Belle explains when Emma meets her at the check-out desk. “They’re all still in the back room. Here, I’ll let you in.”

That should have been Emma’s clue here. Why would a box of new catalogs, just arrived in the mail, already be shoved into the storage closet? But Emma’s too excited about the prospect of those newsprint magazines to think about it. By the time Emma realizes there’s nothing in this little closet but printer paper and old yearbooks… Belle’s already closed and locked the door, trapping Emma inside. 

So it’s yet another set up, most likely. It’s a good thing she’s not claustrophobic, at least.

Sure enough, not five minutes later, Emma can hear Killian’s voice outside the door. 

“How many boxes did you say it was, Belle? I’m happy to help haul, but I’m just wondering if we should get a hand cart to assist.”

“Oh no, I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Belle’s voice responds. “Just a few trips for each of us. Right in here…”

And suddenly, Killian’s in the cramped little closet too, and the door is shut and latched behind them. Gee, what a surprise.

“Fancy meeting you here,” Emma comments dryly. Somehow, probably on some kind of ridiculous romantic instinct, Killian’s hands have already found their way to her hips. It’s nice, really, ignoring the circumstances.

His face is adorably confused, looking around the room and back to the door and then to Emma’s own face and all over again. “Did she just lock us in here?”

“Yeah, keep up, Jones,” Emma teases. “I assume another stupid set-up effort.”

That makes the confusion disperse alright, a smirk full of promise creeping across his face instead. “If that’s the case… we’ll just have to make the most of it.”

“Oh no you don’t,” she warns. “There’s a camera in here.”

“So? It’s not like she’s watching the monitors.”

“So, Belle recently started dating Will Scarlet in IT. You want to take the chance she locked us in here, and forgot to have her boyfriend monitor us?”

“Fuck,” Killian swears, dropping his head back in dramatic emphasis. “They’re really going overboard, aren’t they?”

“I’ll make it up to you later. I promise.”

Thirty minutes later, when Emma and Killian have done nothing but talk and try to find some little extra space in the crowded closet, Belle finally lets them out, just in time for the end of Killian’s free period.

“I’m sure you have no idea how that happened,” he comments, sarcasm dripping from every word.

“It’s just the weirdest thing,” Belle agrees.

Well, that’s one way of putting it.

(Emma makes it up to him, several times over, at her place that night, with a take-out pizza to boot.)

———

After what feels like an eternity, it’s finally here: New Year’s Eve. As long as they make it to midnight and the new year proper without anyone finding out, this whole ridiculous farce is over, and they can be the couple they’ve technically already been since October. Emma and Killian, Killian and Emma - but more than they had been before. 

They’d spent Christmas together - not that that was anything unusual. With everyone else going to visit family, the two of them often spend the day together, eating take-out Chinese and watching holiday movies. Killian’s got a brother back in England that he makes sure to call, and some years Liam will fly over, but Killian usually saves his visits for summer vacation, when he can stay in whatever little English hamlet his brother calls home for weeks at a time. There’s always something nice about spending the holidays together, just the two of them, but it was extra special this year. Who knew Emma was the kind of girl who wanted to trade kisses under the Christmas tree between swapping gifts?

(Killian, apparently - but then again, he’s always claimed to know her better than she knows herself.)

“Just a few more hours,” he murmurs against her neck, twining his arms about her waist from behind as Emma carefully brushes on mascara. “Few more hours, and then it’s all in the open.”

“Thank god for that, too. After all the PDA we’ve gotten from certain people all these years, I’m looking forward to rubbing it in their faces a bit.”

They carpool to Mary Margaret and David’s, just like they do every year. It’s routine, really; Emma always crashes at Killian’s after the annual New Year’s Eve party so that someone is there to help her with the hangover in the morning. Killian makes better hashbrowns than anyone she knows - even Granny - and they always manage to pull her out of the worst of her misery. He’s good about taking care of her, too, with water and Advil and making sure to shut all the shades as tightly as possible. They even share a bed a lot of years; it’s just that tonight, Emma knows there will be a lot fewer clothes involved.

They drink. They eat. They mingle. Sometimes, they’re together, carefully not touching, and sometimes they drift apart. That’s how this party usually works, after all - and Emma is nothing if not committed to seeing this entire thing through, pretending nothing is different this year, that she and Killian definitely aren’t together. Nothing to see here, folks.

God, she’s so fucking lucky he didn’t cut and run once it became obvious just how much of a competitive lunatic Emma is.

Finally, though, it’s the moment - less than a minute left. Killian is already waiting for her by the patio doors, just like he promised. Emma is only too happy to wind her way over there, grinning when she finally finds herself in front of her boyfriend - about to be secret no longer. Behind them, the assembled drunken crowd loudly counts down the last seconds of the year. They keep their hands determinedly to themselves - just as agreed, so no one can try and claim anything happened before the strike of the new year - but Killian still looks at her with that twinkle in his eyes and wiggling eyebrows. It’s anticipation, and excitement, and a good bit of joy - knowing that soon, this will all be out in the open. No more keeping their hands to themselves. 

“You ready for this, love?” he says just loud enough for her to hear as the clock hits ten seconds. 

“Hell yeah,” she grins back - because she is. She so is. This has been a long time coming - years in the making, really - and you know what? The whole secrecy may have helped her wrap her head around the whole thing, as well as win her the pot, but she’s ready to take it public. Maybe rub it in everyone’s faces just how happy she is and how she did this on her own schedule. Why the hell not?

Cheers erupt all around them, and Emma’s grin stretches to something that almost hurts her face. Killian looks much the same. “Happy New Year, love,” he says, finally pulling her towards him by the hips. “I think it’ll be our best one yet.”

Fireworks are going on outside, lighting up the snow on the ground, but Emma can’t be bothered to pay attention - not when Killian attacks her lips with purpose, grinning happily into the kiss before she insistently deepens it, slipping her tongue into his mouth to play. It’s just another in a series of kisses, they know - but it’s more than that. It’s a display, in the best way, declaring them them.

Emma and Killian. Killian and Emma. A pair, a unit, a couple. 

“HA!” shrieks someone across the room as their make-out finally gains attention. Emma thinks it might be Ruby - though, at this point, it might be Mary Margaret. Maybe both. It’s definitely Ruby who materializes just as Emma and Killian finally break apart with a laugh. “It’s about fucking time!”

“Yeah,” Emma agrees - something that seems to short-circuit Ruby’s brain for a moment, if that look on her face is anything to go by. “It really was. And you know what else?”

Ruby shakes her head mutely, that twist of her eyebrows demonstrating that she’s still trying to get her bearings about what the fuck is happening here.

“It’s the new year. That pot is mine.”

“That’s my girl,” Killian whispers in her ear.

Best. New Year’s. Ever.

———

On January 1st of the new year, Emma and Killian - Killian and Emma - they, them, a pair, a unit, a couple take their six hundred dollars in winnings and treat themselves to a goddamn massive lunch at Granny’s. Together. In public. Because they deserve it. 

Grilled cheese has never tasted so good to Emma - especially the crumbs off the corners of Killian’s lips. 

[fyodcrs]

If there ever comes a time when the division and the Port Mafia don’t exist and we all become freer men, let’s come back here and...

Happy (belated) birthday, Kris! @kunikiiida-kuuun ♡♡♡(˶ᵔ ᴗ ᵔ˶)♡♡♡

[minieggukie]

KRIS BABYYY OMFG IM SORRY IF IM LATE BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! i had a set ready to go for you and everything but i think i got the damn time wrong LOLLLL. it's posted now whenever you're free :'))) UGH i wish you the happiest of days and jikook say happy happy birthday!

Ryen you beautiful soul you 😭🥺 the set you made was such a lovely surprise!! And idk if you know but the pas de deux really means so much to me, it was my first jikook phone wallpaper for a long time 😂

ANYWAYS YES, thank you for finding the time to make it. I love it and i love you 💜

(oh look, taejinminkook :'))

[wwenhlimagines]

Tough Day, Fun Night

Finn Balor tries to help the reader relax after a hard day at work.

Warning: smut

Coming home from work, you shut the door and instantly fall onto the closest piece of furniture groaning as your face squishes into the cushion. You hear your husband's chuckle from behind and you glare up at him. "Sorry babe, bad day at work?" You nod and smile slightly as he picks you up before sitting himself down with you on his lap. "Well since it's Friday how about we let loose a little to help you relax?" "That sounds amazing." You mumble as you cuddle into his chest. "Okay then let's just watch some tv for a while first and then I will make you some dinner." "You're the best husband ever." You kiss him softly and he smiles into the kiss. "Well I have to make up for the times I'm on the road, so it's no big deal for my gorgeous wife." You blush just like you always have for the 5 years you have been with him. He turns the tv on to one of your favorite shows and you sigh happy to be in a place where you don't want to rip your hair out. You are finally back in your favorite place, your husband's arms.

About an hour later, Finn carefully moves you onto the couch as you have started to fall asleep. He then goes into the kitchen and makes your favorite dinner. Putting the food onto your plates, he realizes that he needs to find some wine as that always helps you calm down. When everything is ready, he brings it back into the living room and you wake up from the aroma of the food. You stretch your arms out quickly and then smile brightly as you see what he made. "Thank you so much babe, this means so much to me." "Only the best for my princess." He winks and you kiss him quickly before you both dig into the food.

Finn pours the wine into your glasses and you moan as you feel the rush as it slides down your throat. He chuckles, "don't have too much fun yet babe!" "Oh hush, you know you like it." He smirks and playfully grabs your butt. You both finish eating while teasing each other every few minutes with kisses in between. You eat the last piece of food and Finn takes your plates into the kitchen to rinse them off. While he is gone you decide to pour more wine into your glasses. "Well I guess it's time to drink then!" He says as he sees the glasses when he walks in and sits down next to you.

You turned the tv to Keeping Up with the Kardashians and Finn groaned. "Hey let's make a drinking game out of it!" "Sure so when do we drink?" "Hmm...Every time Khloe says something about Tristin 1 sip, when Kourtney complains about something 1 drink, and when Kris yells at any of them a big gulp." "Deal!" You both watch as they start fighting and Kris barges in yelling, drink. Then Kourtney complains about Khloe being unprofessional, drink. The game goes on until you are out of wine and you sigh, "what else do we have?" "We have some vodka?" "Okay vodka it is!"

A few hours later, you two are completely drunk and laughing at everything until your hand "accidentally" lands on his crotch. You think nothing of it until you feel his excitement growing. "Ooo...someone's a little excited." You wink and Finn smirks back bringing his face within inches of yours. "We both know there is nothing little about him." You bite your lip as his heads swoops down to start trailing kisses down your neck. You reach for the hem of his shirt and pull it off before admiring his strong chest and abs. He pulls your top off and you automatically reach for his sweats playing with the band of his boxers before pulling his pants off. He unbottons your pants and pushes them down as he lays on top of you kissing your lips roughly as your fingers tangle into his hair. "Mmm, babe you know my weakness." "Of course I've got to keep my man happy." You wink and he slips his hands under your back unhooking your bra quickly. He starts kissing down your neck then traveling further down, he massages your breasts quickly  before continuing his journey to his favorite place. You grip onto the back of the couch bracing yourself for his attack on your heat. He pulls down your panties but keeps his head at your heat making sure to breathe on it to tease you.

Finn smirks up to you as you bite your lip waiting. He sticks his tongue out and licks all the way up to circle around your clit causing you to moan and tighten your grip on the couch. His tongue dives in and out as you try to keep your moans as quiet as possible. Finn murmurs against you, "We bought a house far enough away from the other houses so that you can scream as loud as you want babe. Don't let our money go to waste, lass." You relax your grip long enough to move your hands back into his hair as he finds your g-spot making you throw your head back moaning. You feel yourself getting closer and apparently Finn did too because he pulled away licking his lips. "You're delicious babe, here have a taste." He roughly kisses you, squirming his tongue into your mouth so you can taste yourself making you both moan. He rips his boxers off and then thrusts right into you making you hiss from the quick pain of his size inside of you. He slowly starts thrusting and the pain turns to pleasure as your moans get louder. Since you were already on edge, he leaned down and whispered in your ear, "don't you dare cum before I tell you to babe." You nod and start scratching your nails across his collarbone and down his chest. His thrusts speed up and you grab his ass making him go even faster. "Okay babe cum on 3. 1, 2, 3!!!" You both cum with strings of cuss words flying out your mouths and uncontrollable moans. Once you have ridden out your highs, he rolls off of you and pants. When you catch your breath, you sit up as does he. "Bed?" He nods and you pick up your clothes before walking upstairs to your bedroom and soon enough falling asleep in each other's arms.

2 months later

You had recently been feeling sick and didn't understand why until you realized that you had missed your period the last 2 months. "Oh shit, am I pregnant?" You thought to yourself as you threw up for the 3rd morning in a row. Finn had been leaving early every day to get to the gym, so he rarely saw you get sick. You knew he wanted kids but you never discussed when, so you decided not to let him know until it was confirmed just in case it was a false alarm. Getting ready for the day, you decided to call in sick to work and ran up to the local store getting a pregnancy test. When you got home, you took the test and then waited nervously for the timer to go off. Once it did your heart stopped momentarily as you looked down at the stick... pregnant. Of course, it was not official, so you decided to call the doctor's office and got in at the very end of the day. You found the card you had gotten for Finn's birthday, which is in 3 days, and took it with you to the doctor's office. Keeping secrets from Finn was nearly impossible, so you were just going to give him the card early if you really are pregnant. You get called back to the exam rooms and you explain to the nurse the reason for your visit. "No problem Mrs. Balor the doctor will be right with you." You suddenly get super nervous and take deep breaths to calm yourself down. The doctor walks in and he tells you what you have to do so 15 minutes later he comes back with the results. "Well congratulations Mrs. Balor you are pregnant!" You smile and thank him as you leave the doctor's office. Once you get in the car, you open his card and sign the card, "Love Y/N and baby Balor." You smile and drive home quickly to find Finn already home. When you walk in he runs and hugs you, "Baby, you had me worried sick! Why didn't you answer your phone?" "I'm sorry Finn, I was just out getting something for you." You hand him the card and he looks quizzically at you. "My birthday isn't for 3 more days." "Just open it babe." You try to keep a smile on your face while on the inside you are super nervous for his reaction as he reads the card aloud. "Happy birthday! Love Y/N and baby Balor. Wait...what? Baby Balor?" He looks up at you with hopeful eyes and you nod smiling. "Oh my god, this is amazing babe! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" He kisses all over your face making you giggle and then he gets down to your belly and lifts your shirt kissing it. "Hi baby Balor! I'm your daddy and I'm going to love you so much! You are going to be so loved by Mommy and your uncles AJ, Luke, and Karl. We are going to spoil you so much." You smile down as your excited husband goes on and on talking to the baby. When he stands back up, he places his forehead against yours sighing, "Perfect." "What's perfect?" You look up at him confused. "Everything, my life is absolutely perfect. I have my dream job, dream house, dream wife, and now we are going to have a beautiful child. Thank you so much Y/N." You wipe the tears from under his eyes and smile. "No Finn, thank you for making me the happiest woman in the world even though I may not seem like it during the pregnancy." You both laugh and he grabs your hands kissing them. "I'm ready for whatever mood swings you may throw my way Mrs. Balor. I love you so much." "I love you too Mr. Balor now how about we go cuddle?" "I thought you'd never ask."

[jobean12-blog]

A spooky Halloween baby! Happiest of birthdays Jo, hope it’s been a fantastic day!! 💙

Thank you so very much sweet Kris!!!! Thank you so so much!!! Yayyyyyy! 🥰🥰🥰 it’s been a lovely day! Really appreciate your sweet wishes! Sending love and hugs your way❤️❤️❤️❤️

[lan-xichens]

wishing you the happiest of birthdays kris!!!

☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

Thank you so much Hanyi ♡♡♡ Have a great day!!

[xueyangs-pinky-finger]

Ruby, happiest of birthdays to you 🥰🥳🎉🍰 I hope you have a lovely day!! (-lan-xichens)

ahh sorry for the late response but thanks kris!! i hope you had a great bday too 🥰

[krisdreaming]

OMGGG ITS KRIS DAY !!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY N I HOPE UR HAVING AN AMAZING TIME!!! :D YOU BETTER TAKE THE DAY OFF TO DO WHATEVER U WANT TO BE THE HAPPIEST PERSON ALIVE ^^ honestly do that for the whole year and the year after and the year after and

IO!!! THANK YOU SO MUCHHHH ❤️ I had a half day at work so now I'm just relaxing for the rest of the day, plus I'm going out for ice cream later 😌 hehe so it will be a good day! Thanks for popping in 💞