#HCC Cub

[askthehcc]

has xisuma ever just said "it is pride momth, baristas. you know what that means." to any of you? how did you respond?

[Interviewer's note: The following texts have been taken from The Hermit Coffee Co. group chat from June 2023]

The Hermit Coffee Co. 3 June 2023 8:58am

Xisuma: It's pride month baristas, you all know what that means. Tango: what Tango: what does it mean Tango: x what does it mean? Tango: do you want us to serve gay coffee or? CleoZo: Tango, why dont you go ahead and tell me what a gay coffee looks like to you? CleoZo: just describe it for me if youd be so kind CubFan: it means we must exchange tender eye contact with all customers and perhaps CubFan: just perhaps CubFan: fall in love with a stranger for just a moment CubFan: the love will be transient but will never the less remain with us into our twilight years CubFan: to be reflected on fondly in moments of strife and loneliness CubFan: and to be remembered when we feel the aching sorrow of lost love and the shortness of life CubFan: because for one moment we felt the explosive love that can only be truly felt when the object of our affections is unknown to us CubFan: Schrodinger's love some might say. Me? CubFan: i call it being human Tango: whoa Tango: that was kinda deep cub Tango: i was just gonna say like Tango: whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles CubFan: that works too Tango: you good though? CubFan: yeah man Tango: alrighty then

Xisuma: Yeah, I'm not quite sure what i was thinking when i said that.

Xisuma: I think I'd had about 3 hours sleep the night before and my fifth coffee had got me a bit hysterical.

Xisuma: I did shed a little tear at Cub's response though. No idea where that came from.

Xisuma: Seriously, where did he pull that from?

---

Cub: Oh, I'm a barista by occupation, but an internet shit poster by passion.

[postsofbabel]

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[adastraradionews]

Sunday Sports Beat

A late defensive stand gave the Sterling College Warriors a 37-29 win over 22nd ranked Ottawa Saturday night at Smisor Stadium to move to 3-0 in the KCAC. The Warriors led 37-16 before the Braves put up two touchdowns in the 4th quarter and had the ball in the closing minutes of the game but couldn't move the ball. Cedrick Phillips passed for 164 yards and rushed for another 72 and one touchdown, with Eric Butler completing his one pass of the game for another. The Warriors also got rushing scores frmo Cevon Mitchell-Ford and Alexander Harbor, Twon Collymore had a interception return for a touchdown and Peter Sisco added a 30 yard field goal early in the game. The Warriors travel to Bethel Saturday... The Threshers beat McPherson 41-32. In other KCAC action Kansas Wesleyan beat Bethany 51-0. Tabor Friends and Avila downed St. Mary 38-13.

In the Jayhawk Conference Saturday 2nd ranked Butler beat Dodge City 31-10 to set up next Saturday's showdown with top ranked Hutchinson at Gowans Stadium. ... The start of that game was delayed just over an hour by lightning.

KU lost their Big 12 opener Saturday to West Virginia 29-24 in Lawrence, Carter Stanley threw for 275 yards and three touchdowns for the Jayhawks, with Pooka Williams Jr. rushing for 76 yards. The big difference in the game was the Mountaineers' Evan Staley who made three of four field goal attempts.

Buhler took 3rd in the Smoky Valley Tennis invitational Saturday with a part varsity, part JV squad... Brittany Teufel and Rylie Pederson won the number one and two singles titles respectively

Hutch High took 3rd in the Maize volleyball tournment Saturday, beating Derby in straight sets in the 3rd place match after losing to Kapaun in the semi-finals after going 2-1 in pool play.

Lyons won the Marion Spikefest Saturday, downing Halstead in straight sets in the championship match.

The HCC volleyball team bounced back from their 0-2 performace Friday to stun two ranked teams Saturday in the final Day of the Blue Dragon Volleyball Classic at the Sports Arena. In their morning match they knocked off 14th ranked Mineral Area College in straight sets and to close the classic they came back from a 2-1 deficit to beat 10th ranked Indian Hills 3-2.

Sterling College volleybal beat York 3-1 Saturday in York, and xxx Dakota Wesleyan

Naomi Waithria scored two goals and had three assists to lead HCC soccer to a 5-0 victory Saturday at the Salthawk Sports Complex.

Sterling College men's soccer downed Kansas Christian 5-1 while the women fell 6-1 to Central Christian College

The HCC cross country men took 4th put of 30 teams in the university division of the Missouri Southern Stampede Saturday in Joplin. Andrew Kibet and Sylvestre Kibrar were the top HCC runners placing 4th against NCAA level competition. The women placed 11th in the juco division of the Stampede.

Hutch High's Noah Cole won the boy's varsity race Saturday at the Wichita Southeast meet, where Jordan Stoffel also had a top 20 finish in 11th. Stella Foster placed 3rd, Chloe Inskeep 5th and Jenna Ramsey 6th in the girls' varsity race.

The Royals scored seven runs to beat the Twins 12-5, while the Cardinals beat the Cubs 9-8.

The Kansas City Chiefs have their home opener today at noon when they host the Baltimore Ravens.

[askthehcc]

Skibidi toilet erm what the sigma

Bdubs: ...

Bdubs: ...

Bdubs: ...

Bdubs: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

Etho: Oh, Bdubs.

Bdubs: What do you MEAN, OH BDUBS?

Etho: It's skibidi toilet, isn't it? You know, don't you? Skibidi!

Bdubs: ...

Bdubs: NO?

Cub: Oh, I know about this. I've been doing some research.

Cub: Skibidi toilet actually refers to a series of animated shorts that fall largely within the surrealist horror genre.

Cub: To some it's simply just a bunch of stained toilets with singing heads, fighting with a bunch of anthromorphised cameras...

Cub: But to others, it's a commentary on the violence and apathy inflicted upon the generation commonly referred to as "Gen Alpha" by their predecessors.

Cub: Skibidi toilet more accurately reflects the grim reality of our world, which is rife with poverty, power imbalance, and pervasive surveillance.

Cub: The grotesque visual imagery of the animated shorts stands out against the over-saturated, highly censored content that is finacially rewarded by advertisers who seek capalitistic gain.

Cub: The question is not What is Skibidi Toilet?

Cub: But on which side of the war do you fall?

Etho: ...

Bdubs: ...

Etho: Yeah, see, Bdubs? Skibidi! Sigma!

Bdubs: That explains NOTHING.

---

Grian: Is Cub... okay?

Etho: I'm afraid to ask.

[askthehcc]

oh gosh is that handsome young man in the back single?

Etho: [pointing to self] me?

Bdubs: HEY!

Bdubs: YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE!

Etho: Aw, Bdubs. You do love me.

Bdubs: WELL, I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

---

Scar: See?

Scar: Weird.

Cub: You're trying to understand the complex relations of a QPR, Scar.

Cub: It's weird to you because it's not a mode of relationship you're familiar with.

Cub: But it's just as legitimate and valid as the relationship you would have with a romantic partner.

Scar: I see...

Scar: And what exactly does the radio have to do with anything?

Cub: Mm, good question, Scar. A good question indeed.

[askthehcc]

which of you is the best liar, do you think?

Bdubs: ME

Cleo: Cub.

Tango: Cub, absolutely.

Cub: Hm. I think it's Bdubs.

Bdubs: THANK YOU.

---

Cub: No, it's me. That was an example.

[askthehcc]

Doc, I know you haven't been present much, yet, but do you read the group chat? Or do you have it silenced, which, tbh, would be very fair.

Doc: I trust X to tell me if anything happens that I should be aware of.

Doc: ...

Doc: Although, sometimes - on the odd occasion - I will emoji react to a message to provoke fear amongst the staff.

Doc: As a treat.

----

Tango: Oh yeah, that happened to me one time and I nearly quit on the spot.

Cub: Yeah, man, Doc sure does know how to set everybody on edge.

Cub: Although the worst time was when he sent everyone a bottle of *real* champagne, just off the cuff.

Tango: Oh, yeah. For our "Hard work and dedication."

Cub: It was highly unsettling.

Cub: There was nothing to prompt it, either. I had to read back through my messages in the group chat to see if I'd said anything that would upset him.

Tango: Freaky. For. Real.

---

Doc: ... What can I say?

Doc: They are fun to play with.

[askthehcc]

What are the staff members favorite drinks?

Impulse: I like a nice chai latte.

Zedaph: Oh, it's gotta be a London Fog for me.

Tango: something we don't actually serve here, of course.

Bdubs: Oh, yeah, Zed made that for me once a couple weekends ago. It was pretty good, actually.

Bdubs: I was a sceptic at first and I'll hold my hands up to that, but I've totally been converted.

Scar: What the heck is a London Dog?

Bdubs: It's a London Fog, Scar, not a London Dog!

Bdubs: That's Paddington you're thinking of, stupid.

Impulse: Wait what? Isn't paddington a–

Zedaph: It's an earl grey tea with some vanilla syrup and just a splash of hot milk on top. Very delicious, if I do say so myself.

Scar: Huh. So it's, like, a British thing?

Tango: I guess?

Scar: fascinating.

Tango: What's your favourite drink, Scar?

Scar: Oh, hot chocolate, of course! Nothing better!

Zedaph: Ah, yes, the young man's coffee.

Impulse: Tango, what about you?

Tango: Oh, long black with three shots of espresso. First thing I do when I get in is make myself one.

Tango: Keeps the gears in the ol' thinker thinkificating, if you know what I mean?

Impulse: ...Tango, how many of those do you have a day?

Tango: ...

Tango: What are you, a cop?

---

Cleo: If I get more than five minutes after a rush, I like a flat white.

Cleo: What can I say? I like it basic. Not everything has to have a big fanfare about it.

False: Oh, yeah, give me a cup of strong black tea and I'll be happy.

Joe: For me, it's got to be something a little bit sweet, but not too sweet. I'll usually make myself a white americano with just a smidge of caramel syrup to counteract the bitterness.

Cleo: What about you, X?

Xisuma: Same as Cleo, but with oat milk. I just like it a little creamier.

---

Grian: Huh? Oh. I don't know. I don't really care. Whatever.

Scar: That's not true...

Grian: ...

Grian: Caramel hot chocolate.

Scar: There you go!

Grian: Yeah, yeah, shut up... menace.

---

Mumbo: Uh, just like... A latte, I guess?

Mumbo: It's not exciting, but–

Wels: Americano sunrise.

Mumbo: ...Isn't that–?

Wels: Yep.

Mumbo: ...

Mumbo: Alright then.

Mumbo: Are we, uh... done here?

[askthehcc]

We know the staffs favorite drinks, but what about friends of the staff and the brits?

Skizz: Oh! Not to be too much of a fancy pants about it, but I'm quite the fan of a cappuccino, extra chocolate.

Tango: Pfft, don't let the working class hear you say that or they'll riot.

---

Martyn: Just a good old British cuppa' tea for me, thank you very much. None of that mocha-cino malarky for me.

Joel: Yeah, I just drink black coffee, obviously.

Lizzie: Mmm, okay, then why do you always order a caramel frappe whenever we go out?

Joel: SHUT UP, LIZZIE.

Joel: At least I'm not one of those weirdos that likes a strawberry matcha. Who adds strawberry to their matcha?

Lizzie: The woman who's about to become your ex-wife, it seems!

Joel: Lizzie! You can't keep holding our marriage hostage to get me to agree with you!

Lizzie: ...

Martyn: Yeah, but you know she can, don't you?

Joel: Well!

Joel: I wish she wouldn't!

---

Jimmy: Ever since Tango first made me that honeycomb mocha that time I came in too early for Grian's shift, it's basically all I can think about nowadays.

Scott: Oh, the honeycomb mocha is the all you can think about, is it?

Jimmy: Yeah, it is!

Scott: ...

Jimmy: What?

Jimmy: What's that face for?

Scott: What face? I only have the one face, Jimmy.

Jimmy: Scott, what are you–

Scott: For me, it's black coffee, the stronger the better.

Jimmy: Hey, nononono, don't you distract me with you and your caffeine problems, cause you know how I feel about that.

Jimmy: Which, by the way, I've been meaning to say– No, wait, Scott, wait, come back!

---

BigB: My favourite drink is whatever Mumbo's beautiful moustache makes me.

Mumbo: [pats BigB's shoulder]

---

Gem: I change with the seasons. Some days I'm all about the vanilla lattes, other days I just want something super sweet and chocolatey.

Gem: It's hard to pin down, to be honest.

Pearl: Except for pumpkin spiced latte season, though.

Gem: Oh, well yeah, I mean, come on Pearl.

Gem: You know I'm a pumpkin spice girlie through and through, it's just not available all year because someone in head office clearly hates me.

Pearl: In the head office of all coffee shops, you mean? Even The Hermit? The independent coffee shop where our friends work?

Gem: It's a conspiracy, Pearl!

Pearl: ...

Pearl: Well I won't drink anything weaker than a cortado, personally.

Gem: [slams hands on the table] A conspiracy, I tell you!

---

Etho: I'm kinda partial to a green smoothie.

Cub: I tend to have a flat white.

Etho: Cub! Don't you count as staff, though?

Cub: Yeah, but the interviewer forgot me last time.

Etho: Oh, snap, that's pretty rude.

Cub: Indeed it was, indeed it was.

---

Interviewer's note: ...Yeah that was my bad.