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mor-beck-more-problems · 3 years

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A Taste of Fae and Croquet || Morgan & Deirdre

TIMING: the recent past

PARTIES: @deathduty & @mor-beck-more-problems

SUMMARY: An innocent game in the yard is crashed by a Stymphalian bird. The world cannot always be kind.

CONTAINS: animal death, soft gays

“The last croquet game I remember seeing was in Alice in Wonderland. And I felt so bad for the flamingos, with their heads bashed into the balls every turn, all those cartoon stars over their heads and how much they fought Alice because they didn’t want to play. I never wanted to look into the real thing because it looked so mean. But this is nice!” Morgan beamed at Deirdre across the lawn. She poised her foot over her ball, nestled adorably next to Deirdre’s, and took a big swing. Deirdre’s ball flew, bounced off the fence, and rolled somewhere back to one of the starting arches. With the extra swings she’d earned, Morgan got her ball into one more wicket and in good position to take the last two later. Smug, she skipped over to her girlfriend and gave her the requisite kiss Deirdre had insisted was customary when fae played the game.

“You aren’t making up the rules to go easy on me, are you?” She purred. “Because you should know by now, I like it when you give me a hard time just as much as I like to make you squirm.”

Deirdre laughed, both into the kiss and after, head tilted to the sky. “I am trying to give you a hard time, my love.” She grinned, staring at her purple ball in the grass. When she played the game with Maeve, she’d always won. And when she played with humans, she was more concerned about trying to hit the balls into as many of their heads as she could than she was with winning. Though Deirdre enjoyed winning as much as she did breathing, she was having fun with her loss now. It must have been something to do with the kisses, which she insisted occurred every time a ball passed through a wicket, or the fact that it was Morgan. “Besides, I don’t think there’s much else to the rules than ‘hit the ball through the wicket’ and then something else about bonus shots.”

She waved a hand in the air, uncaring for the propriety of croquet. There must have been a rule or something about making sure the ball stayed on the ground, but it was far more fun to send it sailing through the air, which she did. “Mind your head!” It went up and away and crashing into the wicket closest to Morgan. Deirdre jogged up to survey her work. “That counts, right?” she pointed at the wicket, bent out of shape and ripped from the ground, “I make the rules and I say that counts for two billion points, actually. Oh, and also—“ She leaned across, pressing her lips to Morgan’s. “—I just remembered actually you’re supposed to give these every time you hit a ball. Very important; can’t play the game without it.” She looked back down at their make-shift croquet field. “Oh, my love, you’re at the turning point now. You’re supposed to do something with that stake there...hit it, I suppose? And then start going back.” Deirdre took a look at her own ball, and her own standing in the game; she couldn’t remember what wickets she went through, and which she still needed to, and what order it was she was supposed to follow. Deirdre slung her purple mallet over her shoulder, maybe croquet just wasn’t the game for her.

Morgan jumped back to duck the flying ball. She wasn’t sure how Deirdre did it, and wondered if there was something innate in fae that made them do things as chaotically as possible. Clumsy with happiness, Morgan took a swing at the stake with her mallet, leaving her ball right in the choice place where it was. “You mean like this?” She teased. “And that means you kiss me again, right? I feel like there was something you said earlier about having to give affection for other swings.” Deirdre had said no such thing, but with balls flying and wickets getting crushed, Morgan could tell that naming a winner wasn’t going to be a very important part of the day. She pulled her girlfriend close and kissed her neck, teasing her in the places that usually made her squeal. Then, flexing her body to its best advantage, she took her swing and guided her ball perfectly on course.

She backed away to steer clear of her girlfriend’s next shot when a shadow flew overhead. She shielded her eyes from the glare of the sun and pointed. “Is that a gull? Aren’t they supposed to migrate?”

Deirdre hummed, delighted under the feeling of Morgan’s lips against her skin. A sound which quickly bubbled into laughter. “You’re distracting me from winning!” Not that she was winning, of course, but that was the joke. Deirdre sighed, pleased, and readied herself for her swing. “No, that’s a heron, my love. It’s got the long neck thing going on, and it’s far too big to be a gull,” she commented casually, sparing only a short glance up. She had a game to lose, and birds were of no concern to her. As the shadow grew larger and larger, Deirdre in turn became more irritated. It was hard to align her shot in the dark, and she grumbled as she adjusted herself. “You know those things are almost as tall as you.” She wound back, mallet swung far behind her. “On account of your being short and all. There were a couple of them in Ireland, but I’ve never met one that didn’t want to—” She swung her mallet forward, waiting for the collision of wood to plastic. When it never came, she stumbled back, staring wide-eyed at a mallet missing its head. At the end of the handle now was a steaming goop, falling off the wood in thick droplets, leaving nothing in its wake. She stared at the ground, steaming holes where perfect grass once reigned.

“—eat me.” Deirdre blinked, throwing the mallet aside. For all her lack of concern for birds, she didn’t notice that the heron had landed or that it had spread its wings wide. Nor that it had flapped its wings, setting free a volley of feathers, whistling through the air. If she’d cared a little more about birds, she might have remembered something about iron. Instead she stood there, waiting for her brain to catch up with her environment.

Morgan couldn’t stop staring at the mallet. There was supposed to be a hammer head at the end of it. A few seconds ago, it had been there. She’d seen it. It was the purple stripe one because it almost looked like Deirdre’s favorite shade of plum and purple went first. But the head was gone. Not broken, just gone. Something Morgan didn’t know the words for was dripping from the ends and this wasn’t part of the game, this wasn’t part of anything that made sense. Dimly, she heard Deirdre say something that sounded an awful lot like eat me, but Morgan couldn’t find the words to the question she wanted to ask about it. Her eyes had finally caught sight of the heron, red and bronze and so much bigger than any bird had a right to be. It opened its beak to squawk, bright and sharp. Was it yelling at them? Was this just how giant scary birds said hello?

The heron flapped its wings and rose over their heads, squawking again. Its feathers spread and then they were flying, red and purple and shining. Morgan raised her arms to shield her face and whimpered at the pattering sound they made as they went through her skin. The heron swooped down to peck them both and flew up again, circling with menace. And then, Morgan finally found her voice. “What the fuck? What do you mean eat you?”

Deirdre hissed in pain, erupting in quivering gasps just a moment later. Feathers stained red with Deirdre’s blood stuck out of the ground, leaving bubbling slashes where they’d hit her. She’d done what she could to protect her face and neck, but the only thing she could think to use was the rest of her body. She trembled, faltering, moving just in time to evade another feather. Her body was on fire. Deirdre opened her mouth to explain before she was caught by another whimper of pain. “This!” She hissed, gesturing to her red, blistering body, “this is what I mean!” Trembling, she could do nothing but wobble where she stood, finding a measure of fear in looking up and risking a feather finding her throat. And of all the fae to try and eat, Deirdre knew there was some amount of pride in knowing she was the worst kind, and some peace knowing Mina wasn’t around. “T-th-they–“ Deirdre watched as her hands dripped blood to the ground, pieces of her robe hanging loose around her. For a moment, she lifted her head up and let free a small shriek, just enough to send the heron tumbling to the ground. The rest, she wasn’t sure she could manage between the spasms of disorienting pain. “Y-you–“ Her footing slipped and she bumped into Morgan’s side. “They eat–they–” An explanation refused to find a home on Deirdre’s trembling voice. Her mother had trained her to withstand the sting of iron, but not so much at once, not in so many places, not while she was happy. “M-Morgan,” she pleaded, though for what, she wasn’t sure. “Morgan.”

The heron righted itself, angrier and hungrier than it had even been. Deirdre was panting at Morgan’s side, head lowered. If only she could have a second, if only she could have a moment. The cuts on Morgan, marked by where they tore into her sweater, were healed already. Deirdre smiled warmly at them. “Don’t...let it get your head…” She glanced at the heron; at best, the fall had injured its wing, at worst, it’d only served to make it more determined. She didn’t have the time to figure out what both of those things might mean.

“Deirdre!” Morgan caught her banshee in her arms, gaping at the blood and burns that streaked down her body. “I’ve got you. But, what do we do? How do we distract it or stop it or--fuck!” Her words curled off in a shriek as the heron dove for its prey again. Morgan threw them to the ground, covering Deirdre’s body and curling around her, but that didn’t stop the bird from releasing another rain of feathers and snapping at Morgan’s back in frustration. “Me! What about you? I’m just in the way, it doesn’t want--!” This time when the bird dove, it pulled at her hair, trying to pry her off Deirdre. Morgan gasped, trying to keep still, but it was trying again, pulling and pecking at her scalp and neck. Her head snapped up and for one awful, dizzying second she could see the bird’s talons, the iron glinting in the feathers, the single-minded determination in its dark eyes.

Morgan panicked, this time into action. She shoved Deirdre the last few feet across the lawn and into the pool. Then she flattened herself on the ground and covered her head, praying she’d find a way to dive in too before she was bashed into fertilizer.

The burning ceased, by miracle, it seemed. Her body was submerged in cold where it belonged. Deirdre opened her mouth to share the good news with her girlfriend, but the burning shifted suddenly to her lungs. Where there should have been air, there was water. She floundered, panicked, trapped in memories of her mother’s hand on the back of her neck. She kicked up and gasped when she reached the surface. Deirdre shook her head, wiping water away from her face. “Morgan!” She called out, surveying the scene. “Morg–“ Deirdre laid her hands on the pool’s edge, determined to climb out and help, but wherever she found hold, her grip quickly slipped. There was something to be said about water in freezing temperatures. “Morgan!” She tried again, slashing her hand on the cement. “My love–“ The bird turned to her, another volley of feathers for her pleasure alone. Deirdre sucked in breath and dove down, watching feathers cut harmlessly through the water. When she re-emerged, a plan became far more clear to her. “Morgan! Morgan, I can scream! I just need–“ She dove again, kicking back to the surface. “I just need it to not be–I can’t aim like this! Morgan–“ She dove again, this time swimming around in quick laps. It occurred to her then that heron weren’t birds that were shy of water, in fact, they excelled in it. What seemed like a good plan, might have served to make her a much more delightful target. Deirdre refused fear. Morgan was more than capable. Morgan would figure it out. The heron wouldn’t be a match for a woman that had come back from death.

Morgan would have rather the bird peck her down to stumps than sting Deirdre with another feather. That wasn’t good, or helpful, but in the awful silence when the heron stopped pecking and snapping at her body and swooped over the water for Deirdre, it was the only thing she knew. Not her. Anything but her.

“No!” She croaked, scrambling forwards to the pool. She tried to get her love’s hands, to make out the words and process anything but the one useless thought circling her head. Not her, anything but her, anything but her…

Scream. Right. She just needed to buy Deirdre time without being in brain liquifying distance. Morgan searched the ground nearby. Not much, but she hadn’t known that today would entail fighting for their lives. The heron swooped down to the water again, its beak skating the surface, searching for the right place to take aim.

“Hey!” Morgan shouted. The heron took no notice. She scrambled to the other side of the pool and lifted one of the rocks they’d put in to make the pool feel like more of a lake for Mina. She hefted it in her arms and threw it as hard as she could at the bird. The heron squaked and flapped into the air, dodging the blow. Now recognizing a persistent obstacle, it narrowed its eyes and shot out for her. But Morgan had already reached for her second weapon, her croquet mallet, and when the heron was close enough, she swung.

There was no mistaking the thunk of wood against bird-flesh, but the bird didn’t act phased. Instead it turned, plumes flared furious, and went again. Morgan swung and gasped as the bronze beak burned across her vision as it splintered the mallet in its grip. “Shit.” The heron flew back, circled, and there was nothing else at hand. She ran feet first into the pool and let herself sink as it came for her. They had seconds, at most, before it would start fishing the water for them. Morgan would think of something clever, a way to stay just out of reach of the sound, a way to put her panicked thoughts to good use. Sooner or later it would come to her. It had to.

As far as screaming went, it was a hard thing to do when flailing in the water. Deirdre laughed when she thought of how her mother hadn’t prepared her for this circumstance; the woman seemed to have thought of everything and yet, she’d never once been stoned by a mob of humans but she was in a pool trying to scream. When her wounds had become a manageable burn, she swung her arms over the pool’s edge, trying to get her angle. The heron flew wildly as it tried to fight Morgan, and as skilled as Deirdre knew she was, she couldn't manage a clean shot. There was the delay to account for, for one thing, and the worry of Morgan, for another. When she thought she had it, Morgan was running towards the pool, and before Deirdre could ask, she was jumping in. “Nice hit with the mallet,” she smiled, water splashing into her face. “Very good form. Have you done this before?” Concern did not exist in Deirdre’s features; a by-product of personality or upbringing or desire to soothe Morgan, perhaps. All that mattered to Deirdre now was the presence of her love beside her, and that the heron was over there. Deirdre swam up to Morgan, grinning even as the heron pecked at the edge of the water. “Do you come here often or…?”

The heron squawked, a deep gurgle of a sound; large wings spread wide and angry. It squawked again, pecking viciously where Morgan and Deirdre were just out of a beak’s range. And perhaps it was the fae in her, all along, that gave her such delight to see the creature struggle where she knew its life was over. And to prolong its death was just a treat, for her. It lifted one long, thin and spindly webbed foot into the air, squawked one last time, and released a final assault of feathers. Deirdre dove in time, pulling Morgan down with her, and in the blue water tainted by plumes of her red blood, surrounded by iron feathers leaving bubbles in their trails, she mouthed ‘you did good’ and ‘thank you’ and ‘I love you’ and then she winked. Deirdre kicked up and screamed, finally, watching the heron fall over like a lawn ornament in the wind, as though it had never been yelling and fighting. As though it had never lived at all, and certainly not as though it had once tried to kill them. The creature lay unconscious, not dead, and perhaps it was the fae in her that delighted in the promise of something more to be done.

Or, perhaps rather, despite her grinning and winking, her body burned even in the cool water, and rejected being pushed to scream any harder. Or, in spite of her calm appearance, her heart thrummed loud against her chest, and her mind swirled with terror for what screaming in water did to a zombie’s brain. The creature lay unconscious, not dead, because Deirdre feared to do more. She turned to Morgan, weathered and body-heavy; in truth, she might’ve liked to just sleep and let the pool carry her like a leaf in a river to a place that didn’t know the cycles of predator and prey. Perhaps it was the woman in her, the person, that closed her eyes and imagined just that.

Morgan could only stare wildly at her girlfriend as she mouthed her affection, grinning with wicked delight as only she could. Morgan couldn’t remember being more in awe of her, or more frightened of the loss of her. The only words in her head were no, be careful, and don’t go. What if the bird was faster? What if it took her neck in its beak? What if--but Morgan knew better than to say these things, or to imagine anything at all. She clung to the lilly reeds to keep herself down to keep herself from pulling Deirdre back and waited.

She didn’t have to wait for long.

The sound shook the water and struck through the depths, keening in fury, in pride. Distorted as it was by the water, the scream still shook something inside Morgan. When it was done, she rose slowly, half dazed, half frightened. “Deirdre?” She called. Her love was floating off into the cattails. The heron was on the ground, suspiciously in one piece.

“Hey--” She swam with her into the shallows and cupped her cheek. “Are you okay? Did it get you again?” She couldn’t tell one set of burns apart from another, and there were so many all over her. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come up with anything better. I kind of panicked. But we can get you dried off and inside, and I’ll get the burn salve and take care of everything…”

Later, when the memory of this day broke past her defenses and replayed itself in her mind, Morgan would not be able to tell if she trailed off because she heard the heron’s wheezing breath, or if her own innate sense of having come up short signaled that something was amiss, or if she simply ran out of things to say, and finally had enough quiet to hear. It trembled through the air, unmistakable, and Morgan stared at the bird’s chest with each shallow, rattling sound.

It was still alive.

“It’s going to wake up eventually, isn’t it?” She whispered, already knowing the answer. Of course it was. And when it did, it would release more feathers, or it would fly away to eat another fae. And what if it found Mina on campus? What if it found Jared on his farm? Morgan stared at the bird, trying to peek into another world where suffering only existed in nightmares, where life thrived in peace. Some place where no creature was put forth to be a menace, to be something that could only take or be taken. But if that place existed, she could not see it; it was not here. And what kind of an idiot was she to think otherwise? Who knew better about the turn of the wheel of life than a cursed witch? Who knew more about the grip of death than a zombie?

“You should get out of the pool before any of the feathers touch you,” she said, climbing up the steps.

She crossed over to the croquet set and picked up one of the mallets from the stand and dragged it over to the heron’s body. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I can’t let you hurt my friends and I’m sorry.” It felt like a long time before she could summon the will to swing the mallet, but when she did, fissures lightninged up the handle and the heron’s skull cracked beneath its poisoned feathers. Morgan swung again.

It was a lake; shielded by thick forest, surrounded by ribbons of wildflowers. The stalks of cattails brushed Deirdre’s skin, balm to the burning that claimed her flesh. It must have been the countryside, the house in her head. It must have existed somewhere where the world would not touch them without permission. It was a lake, and when she opened her eyes, it was Morgan’s glistening face under the light of morning, where the fog that claimed the water had just begun to lift. There must have been a picnic set about in the grass; a book for them to come back to. And a house, cozy but not tiny; she liked to imagine it with red brick. “Did it get you again?” Deirdre blinked; nothing could get them here, didn’t Morgan know? She reached to brush wet strands of Morgan’s hair aside. That would puff out when it dried, surely. In their swampy lake, away from the world. Morgan apologized and Deirdre shook her head, smiling gently as the sun rose behind her. “You’re perfect.” It was a lake. Then it was a pool in the afternoon; their picnic was a croquet game, ruined. Their house was a clean white, and bigger than either of them knew what to do with. Her body was on fire. There was a Stymphalian bird.

Deirdre moved slowly, half in pain and half in mourning for a dream spurred by the fervor of pain. She hadn’t noticed the feathers at all until it occurred to her that the strange tickling cattails were too low to the water, and didn’t tickle so much as they burned--which only felt like tickling against the rest of the burning. Their lake--pool--was covered by an array of them, all having floated to the surface. She rose out of the water, picking a few out of her flesh; there was no imagining them as the hooked burs of her dream wildflowers now. Deirdre dripped blood and water where she moved. It was Morgan’s swinging that woke her up, just as it insured that the bird would never.

“Morgan--” Deirdre rushed to her side, hands on her shoulders; hands at her arms; hands clutching hers, mallet held still and fractured. By the time she got there, the bird was paste on the ground, like roadkill without the road. “You could have ate that.” She said, looking at it. Well, it wasn’t so soiled, maybe it was more like tenderized meat now, and Morgan did enjoy those gummy textures. “Hey,” her voice softened as she pulled the cracked mallet from Morgan’s grip. “It’s okay, my love. It’s okay. What are you thinking?”

Morgan’s thoughts didn’t come in words, at first. Looking down at the bird, beautifully colored but lean in the chest, maybe malnourished, she could only see the unfairness. When her dad had explained that the universe wasn’t all one thing or another, it sounded like there was something soft or gentle in everything. The wasps that frightened her helped the flowers to grow, the lightning that reminded her of her mother’s yelling improved the atmosphere, the people who were cruel to her sometimes turned kind. She had put that thought away sometimes, when it made her stomach clench with guilt, but she had wanted to believe in it. But looking at this dead, beaten heron, she felt as though there were threads in the universe that were just cruel and when you tripped on them, you had no recourse but to touch some of that cruelty too.

“It only knew how to hurt people,” Morgan whispered. “Hurt fae. Even if I tied it in a sheet and dumped it at the town border, it was just going to eat another fae. And if it came back and hurt you…” She didn’t dare finish the thought and trusted her love to hold the missing piece. “I can take it to my studio to get the rest of the feathers out, so we can do something with the rest, so it doesn’t go to waste. And I’ll...c-clean the pool, before Mina gets back. I don’t want her to…” Morgan’s voice choked on the sorrow she was trying to drown with reason. “I’ve got this. I can take care of the rest.” Her throat filled with water and a sob cracked through her lips. “I just hate this world sometimes. I hate how we can’t just leave each other alone. I hate some of these choices…” She searched for Deirdre’s hand and gripped it tight. Hate them as she might, she didn’t regret any choice that protected Deirdre. She didn’t know if that was best of all or worst, but she knew it was true.

“Oh, my love,” Deirdre held Morgan close, pulling her tight against her body. The truths of her world were known to her since birth, tales of the food chain were her mother’s idea of a bedtime story. “It’s just an animal, my love. It doesn’t know malice, or prejudice. It doesn’t hurt fae, it doesn’t know what a ‘fae’ is. There’s food and not-food and it can’t help what it was made to eat. Just as you know that it must…” Deirdre trailed off, remembering covers pulled up to her nose, questions she knew better than to voice as her mother held firm in her stories. The little bird ate the grasshopper, the snake ate the bird, an owl swooped down. Life was cyclical, and none immune to death. Deirdre shook her head, and laughed softly at herself. How many times had she heard and parroted the sentiment, how many times had she lived shackled by it? She didn’t care much for things and their places; she wanted Morgan and a lake, in the place where life could be more than its cycles. Deirdre pressed her lips to Morgan’s cheek once, then twice and a third as she held her head to her chest. “Thank you,” she said finally, “for keeping me and my people safe, even though it was hard. Thank you.”

She pressed another kiss to Morgan as she leaned down, using her blood for some good to write a message on the stone. ‘DON’T GO IN THE POOL’. Mina would recognize the bird and know better anyway, whenever she came home. Deirdre rose and kissed Morgan again, and again, trailing to her lips, where she lingered. “Just leave it now, it’s not going anywhere,” she said against them, breath tickling cold flesh. “Don’t you want to come inside with me now? Into our good world? You did what you had to, and that’s okay, come inside with me now. Rest.” She smiled, “and we can handle the rest later. Doesn’t that sound better?” Deirdre pressed closer, determined in her coaxing. “The world is unfair, isn’t it? It’s terrible and chaotic and filled with horrible, complicated choices.” She leaned in. “But it’s also the most wonderful thing, when I get to hold you. When we’re together.” She kissed her, firm and steady. “Let’s go in, my love,” Deirdre breathed, “tell me all about how much you hate the world, sometimes. How much it hurts to make the necessary choices. And love me, let me love you, and let us feel how good the world is too. How good these choices are. Come--” She pulled back, taking Morgan’s hands in hers. “We can experience the world as it is, bad and good; terrible present and hopeful future. And whatever it is you need to do, you can do later, when it all starts to feel a little easier to carry. Come inside, my love. Come with me.”

The heron’s ignorance didn’t make anything better, Morgan wanted to say. That only made the creature innocent and unteachable. It hadn’t been doing anything wrong. And how often did Morgan insist that you shouldn’t judge the way someone was made, the way they needed to survive? The heron’s mistake was flying over Morgan’s yard, in trying to devour Deirdre in front of her. If animals were worth screaming for, that moment must have sealed its fate. How could she do anything less to protect her love? How could she pass on that pain to another fae, knowing what they meant to each other, knowing the grief that would follow?

Morgan shut her eyes and squeezed out the tears that had gathered beneath her lashes. She wrapped her arms around Deirdre and pressed her face as hard as she could into her chest, not minding how it made her feet stumble on the grass and the porch steps. Like this, pressed close with her face mashed in, she could capture the softest whiff of Deirdre’s scent, sweet fruit and musky trees. Like this, the wood and tile beneath her feet transformed into the soft, giving earth of a dream, the sounds of distant cars became the song of a tide that burbled with good memories and longing wishes.

She burrowed into that place they’d first imagined in their letters between wet kisses and long silences. She had thought it abandoned, since she had almost no reason to think about it these days, but under a blanket, cradling herself against her love, she found her way to that shore as if summoned. She saw fear slip through their fingers like silt and sorrow drip away in the lake. Death had no sting and love and love alone colored their sky. Outside, in the true world, the sun sank, the snow melted, and the dead heron’s feathers flitted up and scattered like autumn leaves. But Morgan held fast to her love and stayed in their painless world as long as she could.

#wr deirdre #wr chatzy #wr deirdre chatzy #a taste of fae and croquet

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skateboardtotheheart · 3 years

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Alex vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda

hello, everyone! i’ve been working on a fic titled “Alex vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda” for quite a long while, and i’m finally biting the bullet and posting the first chapter. this fic is based on the novel "Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda" by Becky Albertalli! it will be very closely based on the book, as well as some things from the movie "Love, Simon", and you may find dialogue or details that you recognize from either version of Becky Albertalli's story! i have no rights to the novel/movie or the JATP characters depicted in this fic. that said, there are a lot of details that are changed, and you'll be able to spot those really easily. this fic will be crossposted to my AO3 and can be located HERE.

like i said, this fic has been a long time coming, and there is tons and tons i have planned for it. here on tumblr, i will be posting things like extra details, bonus content, and maybe some sneak previews! for now, let’s get into the fic!

SUMMARY: Alex Mercer is just like everyone else- only he has one huge ass secret. Nobody knows that he's gay, not even his closest friends and bandmates Luke, Reggie, and Julie. The only time he's ever mentioned it to someone, it was in an anonymous email chain with Ghost, another Los Feliz High School student. Alex can't risk coming out to anyone, but when his emails fall into the wrong hands, his secret is at risk of being thrust into a spotlight. Suddenly an already stressful junior year is all that more complicated as he juggles everyday drama, the school's annual band competition, blackmail, and trying not to lose his shot with the best guy he's ever met.

READ CHAPTER ONE BELOW THE CUT

Everything about this conversation is so out of the box of normal that I barely even register what's happening. Of course I'm the type of person who can't tell when this- something so crazy and awful and stressful and honest to God what the hell is happening- is going on. In my defense, Caleb Covington has never spoken to me before. I had no reason to assume that the first time he did, it would be to blackmail me.

We're taking a water break in the bleachers when Caleb saunters over. No greeting, no introduction- just words to send my entire junior year of high school spinning on its head.

"I read your email."

I swallow my water. "What?"

Caleb raises an eyebrow at me, and there's no other way to describe it but menacing. It's funny looking back on it all; I'd always heard Caleb was a really nice guy.

"I was in the library. And I read your email."

"You read my email?"

"Not on purpose. You really should have logged out of Gmail."

There's nothing I can do but stare at him, dumbfounded. What in the name of David Bowie is happening right now?

Caleb, thankfully, stops towering over me and takes a seat in the bleachers, a foot or so away. To anyone else, it might look like we're friends. To me, it feels like I can't breathe.

"Why the fake name?" Caleb asks, and my entire soul screams a wish that he would stop being so casual about this.

I want to tell him that the point of a fake name is to keep people like Caleb Covington from knowing my secret. Way to freaking go, Alex. He must have seen me sitting at the computer like the monumental dumbass I am.

"Would it interest you to know my cousin is gay?"

"Um. No, Caleb. It really wouldn't."

He still has his eyebrow raised and a small smirk on his face. If I focus hard enough- kind of impossible right now- I can picture Luke punching it right off his face.

"What do you want Caleb?"

This is the longest five minute water break of my life.

"Look, Mercer, I don't have a problem with it. It's not a big deal."

Yes, it really is. It's a huge monster of a deal. This is the biggest disaster since Luke slammed his fingers in a door and couldn't play his guitar.

"But. . ." Caleb drags out, and I can feel my leg bouncing quicker by the second. "It's pretty clear to me that you'd rather keep it all hush, hush."

I mean. Yeah. Kind of. The coming out thing doesn't scare me that much. Except it does. Because if people know then my parents will know and if my parents know then my whole family will know and if my whole family knows then I've become like a living, gay, everyone-finds-out version of If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, and I'd rather die than have that happen. So maybe the coming out thing does scare me. But the biggest problem if people found out?

Ghost.

I have absolutely no idea what it would mean for Ghost if Caleb was going to tell anyone. The thing about Ghost is he's a pretty private person. I bet he wouldn't forget to log out of his email so people like Caleb Covington wouldn't see it. I bet there's a good chance he'll never forgive me if he finds out about this. So really, I have absolutely no freaking clue what would happen to Ghost- to us.

And I'm still sitting in these stupid gym bleachers, the pink hydroflask Reggie bought me limp in my hand, desperately wishing Carrie would call an end to this godforsaken water break. I can't believe I'm having this conversation with Caleb right now. Why couldn't anyone else have logged into Gmail after me? Why was I so impatient to see if Ghost had emailed me back that I used the freaking school computers? Why did this stupid school insist on blocking the wireless so I had had no choice but to use the school computers? But it had been one of those days where I couldn't even wait to get out of dance practice to check my phone in my car.

I'd emailed Ghost this morning, and it had been a pretty big email. I was desperate to know if he'd emailed back.

I must have been just staring at Caleb for a while because he cocked his head at me and said, "Don't worry, Mercer. I'm not going to show anyone."

I take a relieved breath. Then my hydroflask finally slips from my fingers as I freeze, and the sound echoes through the gym. I don't even look at the rest of the dancers when their laughs break out.

"Show anyone?" I ask.

Caleb leans in a little bit, smirk wider on his face. I feel sick.

"Did you- oh my god, did you screenshot my emails?"

"Yes, see, I wanted to talk to you about that."

"You took a fucking screenshot?" I hiss out, thankful I'd put my stuff farther away from the rest of the dance team today.

Caleb has the audacity to roll his eyes. "I've heard you're in a band with-"

"What the fuck does that have to do with- Let's go back to how you screenshot my email."

"Or you can shut up and listen to what I have to say."

Something about the way Caleb's gaze catches you, it's hard to do anything but what he says. Fuck.

"I believe we may be in a position to help each other out."

Jesus Christ, what 18 year old talks like this?

"Why the hell would I do anything for you?"

It's a stupid question, I realize as he stares at me calmly. Calmly. Like this isn't the end of my life. Whatever he wants right now, it'll be in exchange. I do this, and he doesn't broadcast my private emails with Ghost to the entire student body.

All this time and I really thought Caleb was supposed to be this nice guy. Fuck me.

"You're going to make me do whatever you want?"

Caleb tsk'd like the condescending bastard he clearly is. "Well, now. I'm not making you do anything."

"But if I don't help you, you'll what? Post my emails on the fucking tumblr?"

LosFelizSecrets. The bane of every Los Feliz student's existence. Ground zero for more gossip than anyone in their right mind knows what to do with. A school of almost 3,000 kids but if it's on the tumblr, most people know within a day. A complete and utter hellscape disguised as a blog.

When Caleb stays quiet, I speak again. "What do you want from me, Caleb?"

He sneers.

"Music of the Night."

Once again, I'm stuck staring at him. Music of the Night? That's what this is about?

"Your band is signed up, as is mine. The HGC lost to Dirty Candy last year, and I will not lose again this year."

Music of the Night is this competition Los Feliz holds every year as part of the music program. At the end of the year, there's this huge concert held at the Orpheum theatre in Hollywood. At the beginning of the school year, anyone can sign up. Then each band has 4 months to perform at school events, outside gigs and parties, and whenever they have an opportunity, really. During winter break, the student body votes on who the headliner of the concert will be. Last year, the headliner was Dirty Candy. Because they won last year, they're out of the running this year and are in charge of organization and things for the concert. This year, I was hoping the headliner would be Julie and the Phantoms. My band. Caleb and his band HGC has entered the competition every year, and he's never won. He's a senior, and I know this will be his last chance. I also know who his biggest competition is.

Us.

"So. . . what? You want me to sabotage my own band?"

I feel breathless and dizzy as I ask. Caleb just shrugs casually.

"Whatever you need to do. So long as it's my band that gets the votes. Like I said, I think we can help each other out. Think about it."

Caleb winks- he actually winks- and walks away. I stare dumbly after him. No way. No, I'm not doing this. I can live with being outed. Right?

But my thoughts travel to Ghost. Because he's a part of this, too. He goes to Los Feliz, and he's my age, and he uses a fake name, and he's not out.

Ghost isn't out, and Caleb has my emails.

Fuck.

----------

Any hope I have of forgetting about that stupid conversation clearly isn’t worth it. I have an hour before dinner, and right now I’m basically willing to do anything to avoid my family. Trying to talk to my parents is exhausting. You can’t just get away with telling them your day was good or bad. No, you have to ring out every excruciating little detail. Everything that happens in my or my siblings’ life, they want to know about it. In all honesty, I used to love telling them all that stuff. Now I can’t get away from them fast enough. Especially today. I’m barely in the house long enough to put my backpack in my room before I’m slipping out the back door and leaving again.

I try to drown out my thoughts with Axl Rose screaming into my earbuds. But my mind is stuck on Ghost, emails, and Caleb freaking Covington. Caleb wants to win Music of the Night. I can’t exactly blame him for that. Everyone wants to win it.

Except he’s blackmailing me. And by extension, he’s blackmailing Ghost. And that makes me want to hyperventilate a little bit. Maybe go scream somewhere.

But Axl Rose is helping. The familiar route of walking to Luke’s is helping. We don’t get much of a fall in LA, but the air feels a little crisper in mid October, and I can already see the houses that are getting ready for Halloween.

When I reach Luke’s house, I don’t even bother going through the front door. I just cut through his backyard and head through the backdoor right next to Luke’s bedroom. I hear them before I see them. Reggie’s laugh fills the air, paired with a frustrated groan from Luke. They’re sitting side by side on Luke’s bed, facing the small tv with some video game I’ve never seen on the screen. They look like they haven’t moved in hours. Luke pauses the game as soon as he sees me, waving, and I can’t help but smile a little bit. The guy won’t put down his guitar for you, but he’ll pause a video game or movie without a second thought.

“Great, you’re here! Tell Luke he’s shit at this game and he should let me play Mario Kart.”

I roll my eyes, “Dance was great, Reg. Thanks for asking.”

Reggie sticks out his tongue, and I crack a smile. This is the most comfortable I’ve felt all afternoon. I throw myself into the beat up bean bag chair Luke keeps in his room.

“Luke, you’re shit at this game and Reggie wants to play Mario Kart.”

Luke gapes at me, a betrayed gleam in his eyes, but I just shrug. Luke grumbles a bit as he gets up to switch out the game, and Reggie whoops in victory. I let out a soft sigh. I think I needed this. The chaos of Reggie and Luke playing whatever game, the strange mix of leather, Axe, and his mom’s Hawaiian Breeze cleaner that makes Luke’s room smell awful and entirely wonderful at the same time, and the familiarity of Luke and Reggie. Everything just fits right when I’m with them.

As Luke sets up the game, Reggie looks at me excitedly. “Alex, Luke hasn’t heard about le wedgie.”

I snort a little, “Ah, yes. Le wedgie. C’est une histoire touchante.”

I don’t know why Reggie bothered to wait for me to tell the story; he’s the far better storyteller between us. Maybe it’s just because I’m better at French.

Luke stares at me, “English, please?”

Reggie and I thought we’d be fancy and take something fun like French for our required language credits. Luke decided to take something actually useful and learn sign language. This story is stupid, and my reenactment is stupid, but it feels kind of perfect. Like Caleb and secrets are all things of my imagination, and nothing exists but this bedroom and me, Luke, and Reggie. Benefits of having known these dorks since elementary school, I guess.

About as they finish the second race in Mario Kart, Luke lets out a yawn. Reggie reacts so quickly I barely realize what he’s doing. He grabs a crumpled up Hershey’s Kiss wrapper from Luke’s nightstand and throws it into Luke’s mouth. Luke sees it just in time to clamp his mouth shut. Reggie sighs in defeat, but shrugs.

“Keep yawning, I’ll get you one of these times.”

“Why are you so tired?”

“Because I party real hard. All night, every night, baby,” Luke says, slamming Reggie’s bike with a green turtle shell.

“Alone in your room with your guitar. Some party that is,” Reggie retaliated with a bomb thrown in Luke’s direction.

As the race finishes Luke yawns again, and Reggie’s Kiss wrapper bounces off his cheek.

“I just keep having these weird dreams,” he explains.

I raise my eyebrows. “TMI, dude.”

“Not that kind of dream!” Luke tosses the wrappers at me, Reggie cackling beside him.

Luke starts explaining his dream- something about every time he started playing his guitar his cord had magically unplugged itself from his amp- and Reggie and I just share a look. We were used to Luke being in his weird, feels-the-need-to-analyze-everything moods. But even after all these years, it was almost like a movie, watching Luke get so weirdly passionate about things- music and otherwise. It made me glad that Luke was a brother to me by everything but blood. Partly because if he wasn’t, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stop myself from falling for him. And I have a strict policy about not falling for straight guys.

To everyone but me and Reggie- immune to him after knowing pretty much every thought that’s ever gone through his head since elementary school- there’s this pull to Luke. Like he casts a spell that has everyone in a 10 mile radius tripping at his feet and each and every girl swooning. Poor Julie is not immune to the spell, it seems. Lucky for her though, Luke doesn’t seem immune to her either.

It took barely a few weeks into the school year before I noticed Luke switching seats with Willie Meyers at lunch to increase the odds he’d end up right next to Julie. Then there’s that stupid, puppy-dog, love-sick look in his eyes that Luke gets every time he thinks Julie isn’t looking. And it’s not like Reggie and I haven’t put up with a pining Luke before, but everything seems a little different with Julie. It makes me think of Ghost.

Would I look like that if I saw him in person? Would he look at me like that?

If Caleb leaks my emails and Ghost hates me forever, I don’t think I’ll ever find out.

-----------

chapter one complete!

i'll let everyone know right now that i have no clear updating schedule for this fic; it's kind of hard to write and get down the way i want, so i'm not sure how long anything will take me. but it is summer break for me, so hopefully you'll all start seeing consistent posting of new chapters!

i hope you all liked this first chapter, or are at least intrigued to read some more. as i said in the starting notes, this will be cross posted to my AO3! Feel free to leave me a comment here if you would like, or head over there if you have any comments about the fic at any point! feel free to send me a message/ask on here if you have any questions or comments, too! my inbox is open any time <3

if anyone would like me to start a tag list, let me know and i’ll get that done right away!

this fanfic is definitely my baby, so i really hope you guys all like it as much as i do!

thanks <3

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #jatp fanfic #fanfiction #alex mercer #willie jatp #luke patterson #reggie peters #julie molina #willex #simon vs the homo sapiens agenda #love simon #alternate universe #willex fic #owen patrick joyner #booboo stewart #alex vs the homo sapiens agenda #AvtHSA

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cryptidshuffle · 3 years

Text

the less we say about it the better - chp 1

ao3

Rating: Teen Fandom: Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware Relationships: Tommy Coolatta & Gordon Freeman, Tommy Coolatta/Gordon Freeman (pre relationship) Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Temporary Character Death(its benrey dont worry hes ok), meta about deaths and respawns, arguing about the rules of uno, gay pining, Mutual Pining, fellas is it gay to comfort ur friend who u love and are both boys?, also fair warning it'll eventually be a poly ship with benrey, Autistic Character, Autistic Tommy, ADHD Gordon, everyone is gay and trans, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Summary: “after everything we’ve been through we deserve a few mental break downs.” they are trying to recover after black mesa, but recovery is hard. especially when one of you is still dead

---------------

They had been out of Black Mesa for a few weeks now. It was difficult trying to acclimate to life after the incident, but they were all making it work.

The science team had gotten together for some sort of game night, something cathartic about being around others who share the same trauma. Anyways, snacks and Uno was just as chaotic as one would imagine with this group of chucklefucks, with competitive tensions high on the last round of the night.

“You can’t stack the draw 4 cards, Gordon,” Bubby argued, smacking Gordon’s hand just as he placed the card.

“Says who?”

“It’s literally against the fucking rules of the game,” Bubby said back.

Tommy agreed with, “It is in the official rules, Mr. Freeman, they- Mattel confirmed it on Twitter.”

“But that’s dumb!” Gordon argued back, “I’ve always played where you can stack those, why change that now?"

Bubby retorted, “Well maybe you’ve always been playing wrong, huh? Ever thought about that, smartass?”

Dr. Coomer chimed in with, “Well on the official page for Uno (card game) on Wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia that anyone can edit, it states that

The following official house rules are suggested in the Uno rulebook, to alter the game:

Progressive Uno: If a draw card is played, and the following player has the same card, they can play that card and "stack" the penalty, which adds to the current penalty and passes it to the following player.[4](Although a +4 cannot be stacked on a +2, or vice versa.)[6] This house rule is so commonly used that there was widespread Twitter surprise in 2019 when Mattel stated that stacking was not part of the standard rules of Uno.[6]”

“Well, there you have it,” Gordon exclaims, interrupting Coomer’s Wikipedia infodump, “Just because it’s a house rule doesn’t mean it’s not a legitimate way of playing."

“What if I don’t want to play with that rule, that’s fuckin stupid,” Bubby grumbles.

“Jesus ok, I'll play a different card, happy?” Gordon says dejectedly, taking back his controversial draw 4 card for a more innocuous one. “It’s your turn anyways.”

Bubby throws down his last card onto the pile. “I win fuckers!!!! Ahahahahaha!"

“You wouldn’t have won if you let me stack the fucking cards,” Gordon said as he threw his losing card pile onto the coffee table.

“Don’t fret Gordon! Bubby is just extremely good at card games,” Dr. Coomer replied.

“You're forgetting I’m a goddamn genius, that extends to my sick-ass Uno skills,” Bubby bragged.

Gordon chuckled, watching the two older scientists get up to leave, and watching Tommy remain, quietly cleaning up the uno deck into neat piles to place in its box.

“Well gentlemen, it’s been fun, though I think it’s time Bubby and I better get going!” Dr. Coomer said.

“No problem, don’t want you two to be late for your old man early-bird breakfast at Golden Corral tomorrow!” Gordon teased.

“Shut the fuck- I’ll kick your ass,” said Bubby.

“Hello Gord- Actually our old man breakfast is not until Saturday! It’s the one day a week I let loose and unhinge my jaws at the buffet like a Burmese Python!” said Dr. Coomer as Bubby grabs his coat and keys.

“That sounds absolutely horrifying,” Gordon laughs.

“It really is,” says Bubby. “Well, see you later asshole,” Bubby says, herding himself and Coomer out the front door.

“See you guys later,” Gordon says.

“Goodbye, Gordon! Goodbye, Tommy,” Coomer also says, before they leave Gordon’s apartment.

Tommy had yet to get up to leave, he stayed sitting in his seat staring into space, and fiddling with the Uno card deck.

“Hey Tommy, you alright man?” he asked gently. At the mention of his name, he was shaken a bit out of his stupor.

“Y-yeah I'm fine Mr. Freeman, why do you ask?”

“I mean you were kinda just staring into space for a bit, and you didn’t say anything when Bubby and Coomer left.”

“Oh shit. Sorry about that, I’ll get out of your hair,” Tommy said, starting to move to leave.

Gordon placed a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “Hey, if something’s bothering you, just know I’m here if you wanna talk about it,” Gordon comforted.

Tommy blushed slightly at the contact and nodded.

“Thank you. I-uh… I’ve just been thinking about things that happened back in Black Mesa and, you know,” he pauses to think for a bit, and sighs, “honestly I’ve been thinking a lot about Benrey.”

Just at the mention of him, Gordon felt his stomach drop with the weight of too many emotions.

“Yeah...I uh… I understand,” he responds with a sad sigh, “anything in particular you’re thinking about him?”

“I don’t know just kind of- Earlier I started thinking about how much he would enjoy game night. And then I started to miss him and realize that- that he’s not here. I feel guilty about killing him and upset at what he did. He was still my friend and I just- I want to know why he did what he did. I just want to understand,” Tommy said.

Gordon looked away as he thought about his own emotions regarding Benrey. He was undeniably angry with him, for getting him ambushed by the bootboys, for getting his arm cut off, frustrated with the constant taunting. Yet… he also felt guilty for some reason and he couldn’t quite place why. Gordon really didn’t want to feel guilty.

“Yeah…” Gordon sighed, “I'll be honest I do feel guilty about it too. I don’t know why because I feel like it should be justified since he did try to kill us. But there were times when him pestering me about my arm felt like… like sincere questioning? I still… I don’t know.”

“Yeah… I think-” Tommy cut himself off, staring at a fixed point in his vision, trying to decide whether or not to bring this up.

“I don’t think Benrey understood how human mortality worked.”

Well, that wasn’t what Gordon expected. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he was from Xen, Mr. Freeman, he wasn’t human. It was different for him. You remember he did die several times, but he came back eventually. He had to wait for his form to regenerate.”

“Wait-” this time Gordon cut Tommy off, “Oh shit, that wasn’t a joke? For some reason I just assumed his talking about respawns and shit was part of his Epic Gamer bit?”

“I mean it was a little but I think… there’s probably a reason Benrey attached himself to video games so much, yeah? He can see himself in the structure. Like, uh- something he can relate to.” Tommy says. “It doesn’t excuse what- what he did, but I feel like knowing why things happened makes- makes them more understandable.”

Gordon leaned back on the couch blown away by the revelation. In hindsight it wasn’t that surprising but it took him a few seconds to come to terms with the reality.

“Yeah, when you put it that way, I guess it does make a lot of sense. Wait though, I swear to god all of you have died at least once, but you guys aren’t from Xen?” Gordon said, now confused about the seeming metanarrative of the mortality of his friends.

“Yeah, but those were weird Black Mesa things, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said, not elaborating any more than that.

Gordon waited a beat for Tommy to explain more but he said all he needed to.

“I will ask you more about that later, but I do not have the energy to unpack all that right now,” Gordon said with a gentle laugh.

“Wait, getting back on topic real quick, why couldn’t Benrey just... respawn now? Did we really get him that good?”

Tommy looked incredibly sad when Gordon said this, and he regretted it immediately. ‘Damn it Gordon, Tommy’s clearly upset about Benrey, you don’t gotta be an insensitive dick.’

“Well Mr. Freeman, that’s kinda why I’ve been thinking about him,” Tommy said, “I’m not sure. It shouldn’t have taken him this long to respawn. Depending on the amount of damage it takes longer but… It’s been a while and what if- What if he is back but he is mad at all of us and that’s why we haven’t seen him? Or what if it is taking a really long time because we hurt him a whole lot. Or what if we…”

Tommy got quiet for a few seconds, the silence in the room was deafening. For an instance Gordon felt as if making a sound would shatter the air like glass.

Tommy finally said with a whisper, voice thick with choking back tears, “What if we killed him for good? And I don’t- I never see him again?”

It honestly broke Gordon’s heart how distraught Tommy was. Pushing his own complicated Benrey feelings aside, he was gonna focus on Tommy here and now.

“…Tommy, is it ok if I hug you, man?” Gordon couldn’t think of the best way to comfort the other man with words, but physical comfort he could do.

Tommy looked a little surprised at this ask but nodded. Gordon leaned in to hug the other scientist and Tommy collapsed in his embrace, completely breaking down.

Gordon just sat there and held him as Tommy sobbed into his shoulder, trying to comfort the crying man by rubbing circles into his back.

Gordon’s brain processed the things Tommy had said. Was Benrey really gone? Why did he feel guilty about the idea of having killed Benrey, he was fine with the concept during the final boss fight on Xen but now… the thought made him feel… sad? Regretful? Even his seemingly rational justifications didn’t seem as clear at the moment, only thinking of his fonder memories with Benrey.

‘Fuck this,’ he thought as he felt his own tears well up, ‘this isn’t about me, I need to focus on being there for Tommy,’ pushing his own feelings to the back of his mind to be dealt with later.

Tommy eventually calmed down enough where his sobs turned into sniffles, and he started to pull away from the hug.

“S – sorry for having a – a breakdown on your- on your couch Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said, the post-crying mental fog making his stuttering more noticeable. Tommy didn’t really have the effort in him to care.

“Don’t worry about it, man, after everything we’ve been through we deserve a few mental breakdowns,” Gordon joked trying to lighten the mood.

“Oh, that was nothing, Mr. Freeman, in terms of mental breakdowns that was as mild as a first-grade pizza party in the eye of a hurricane,” Tommy compared in a way that made little sense to Gordon, yet ridiculous enough to cause the man to burst out laughing.

“Alright I’ll take your word for it,” Gordon said, still laughing.

“I’m serious Mr. Freeman, once you have a meltdown so intense that you accidentally teleport yourself to an inter-dimensional void, the rest is a cake walk at the school fair,” Tommy said.

“Waitwaitwait- teleport?” he leaned back to look at him in surprise, “Since when could you fuckin teleport!” Gordon asked caught off guard.

“You know, learned some things from my Dad,” Tommy said, again failing to further explain himself.

“…Well alright. Yeah that tracks.”

Gordon was quiet for a moment before responding with, “You know, Tommy, I want you to know I’m here for you if you need anyone to talk to. You were there for me when I was at my lowest in Black Mesa, and I wanna be that friend to you if you need it,” he said giving the other scientists hand a comforting squeeze.

Tommy smiled, “Thank you, that means a lot Mr. Freeman.”

“You know you can call me Gordon, you don’t have to be so formal all the time Dr. Coolatta,” he teased.

Tommy blushed, ‘dammit why did he have to be so cute?’

“Wow Mr. Fr – Gordon are you really gonna make fun of my doctorate that I worked very hard for,” Tommy teased back, still a bit sniffly from crying.

“Dude, I cannot imagine you in college for some reason, what was your doctorate even in” asked Gordon, semi-jokingly, but still a bit serious.

Tommy laughed a bit, wiping the remaining tears away with the back of his hand. “Bio-chemical engineering. Creating Sunkist was for my thesis project.” Normally Tommy would be more then willing to infodump about the topic but he found his energy to be draining fast.

“What the fuck, that’s cooler than mine was. Us nerds in the Theoretical Physics department didn’t do any crazy shit like that,” Gordon said.

“Bold of you to assume I was a nerd, G-Gordon. I was the craziest guy in the frat house,” Tommy said.

Gordon’s memory vaguely recalls Tommy’s insistence that he “do something crazy” when drinking Darnold’s Potion of Grow Gun Arm.

“You know what, yeah, surprisingly I can see that image vividly in my head,” Gordon said. “Real talk though…” he said changing the subject and putting his hand on Tommy’s shoulder, “Are you- uh, ok? Like feeling better?”

Tommy was quiet for a second, eyes flickering down to look at his fidgeting hands in his lap, before replying with, “I’m ok. N-not great, I don’t think, but I will be.”

Gordon nodded. “Tommy, if there’s one nugget of wisdom that I have to share, it’s that healing takes time, things usually turn out to be ok in the end. No matter what’s going on with Benrey…it'll be alright, I’m sure.” Gordon patted his shoulder for emphasis, “not the best advice out there but it’s the best I can come up with straight off the dome. And I don’t wanna seem like I didn’t try to help you out."

Tommy laughed gently, “Thank you Mr. Fr- uh, thank you Gordon. You did help. Even if- if your advice was a bit cheesy.”

“Whatever man, you can’t blame me for trying,” Gordon laughed, playfully shoving Tommy where his hand had previously rested on the other man’s shoulder. Tommy laughed in return. He only noticed the warmth of Gordon’s touch once it was gone.

Tommy absentmindedly noticed the time on the wall clock in Gordon’s apartment. Jesus, 11:30? When did it get so late? The older scientist really hoped he wasn’t overstaying his welcome; While he would love to just stay here and joke around, he had already bothered Mr. Freeman enough and was already exhausted.

“I- I’m probably gonna head back home now, I didn’t realize how late it was,” Tommy said, standing up from his spot next to Gordon.

Gordon nodded. He had the passing thought of offering for Tommy to stay but… maybe that was a step too far. ‘Tommy probably wants his space,’ Gordon rationalized to himself.

He nodded, “Alright, don’t let me keep you,” he said, getting up as well to help Tommy gather his belongings. Which, to be honest Tommy didn’t bring much but some snacks for the group, but Gordon just needed an excuse to do anything.

Gordon walked Tommy to the front door of his apartment, like the good host he was, opening the door for him.

“Thanks for coming over Tommy,” he said.

Tommy nodded. “Thank- thank you again for letting me talk about Benrey, I know it was kinda rough there at the end, but if you ever need to talk about anything… I'm here for you as well.”

Gordon smiled, “Thank you Tommy, I'll keep that in mind.”

Tommy smiled in return, “Have a good night G-Gordon,” he said turning to head to his car.

“Goodnight Tommy.” Gordon turns to head back inside, but before he does, he can’t resist one more jab.

“Thought you could teleport?” he calls out teasingly.

Tommy flips him off, which causes Gordon to laugh harder. “Gives me a headache,” Tommy called back, trying and failing keep a straight face.

Gordon laughs as he waves a final goodbye, turning back inside and closing the door after Tommy waves as well. His thoughts race as he gets ready for bed, trying to ignore his fluttering heartbeat as he lays down for the night.

Tommy shuffles his thoughts in his head as he drives home. The emotional rollercoaster of his already draining social interaction meter from the science team, his Benrey guilt, and his small crush on Gordon was just too much for one day. His hands clench and unclench the steering wheel, looking forward to collapsing in bed for the night, hoping his dad won’t notice he'd been crying.

Somewhere, in an interdimensional void far away from this reality, someone begins to shift awake.

#fanfic #hlvrai #half life vr but the ai is self aware #freelatta

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unibrowzz · 4 years

Text

My 2020 reviews

All the cool kids were doing these so now I finally dragged my ass into doing them too lmao.

Albania- Fall from the Sky

A song I swear cursed this whole contest from the moment it won Festivali i Këngës. Like with the shitshow this song caused I just knew the whole year was fucked. With half the fandom whining they didn’t get their first club song of the year to the other half smugly shoving it as their winner despite no other songs being around to compare it to, the whole fiasco just left me knowing that 2020 would end in tears, just hopefully not my own. As for the song, it’s lame. It’s a standard ballad with OBSCENE amounts of autotune, which is weird because the girl can actually sing pretty decently without it, so why they decided to make her sound like a damn computer is beyond me. And WHY did they translate it, haven't the past few years proven that Albania's better off leaving their songs in Albanian?

Armenia- Chains on You

A bootleg Ariana Grande song, and a really shit one at that. The kind of song only people who think being young, gay and mean counts as having a personality would say is good.

Australia- Don’t Break Me

One of the few decent Australian entries (but that REALLY isn’t saying much coming from me, I barely care they’re in the contest by this point) but marred by a horribly untidy performance and lacklustre lyrics. At least it’s not fucking pop-opera, that’s all I can say. I’d rather listen to the sound of my face being dragged down the runway at Heathrow airport than be subjected to another Zero Gravity.

Austria- Alive

One of those pseudo-jazz dance songs, á la Olly Murs or Bruno Mars (I swear there’s a song like this in every recent contest). I mean, it’s good, but it’s just kinda meh since I’m kinda getting tired of this genre rearing its fedora-wearing head every time a new lineup rolls in.

Azerbaijan- Cleopatra

One of the “better” trashy entries this year, comprised of about five different musical genres, six ancient cultures being appropriated and absolutely zero class. Probably sounds at least 50% better when you’re absolutely steaming drunk and face down on the floor in the middle of a gay bar.

Belarus- Da Vidna

Somehow, this song sounds both very unique and original yet trite and average at the same time. I couldn’t decide whether listening to it was a new experience or if I’d heard it a million times before.

Belgium- Release Me

A song which just drones on till it ends. I would say it’s ripping off the song that won last year, but it forgot that having a chorus stops your song from being three minutes of snooze.

Bulgaria- Tears Getting Sober

A typical breathy mumble-girl song, AKA a genre I can’t fucking stand. Really don’t see the hype with this one, the melody is pretty but the vocals are out for lunch and it’s otherwise completely and utterly boring.

Croatia- Divlji Vjetre

One of the token big dramatic ballads you listen to once, enjoy, then forget about until Darius in the Discord server plays it one night whilst you’re hitting up the radio bot with requests. You’ll find that “nice, but forgettable” is a common theme for this year.

Cyprus- Running

Ironically Cyprus didn’t send a crappy Fuego knockoff for 2020, and I say ironically because a crappy Fuego knockoff would’ve actually stood out this year, and I say crappy because honestly Fuego wasn’t even all that great to begin with. "Running” itself is just one of those edgy tortured soul pop songs which, let’s be honest, would have been paired with an impressive performance which would’ve overshadowed how bland it is. Kind of like “You’re the Only One”. Or even Fuego for that matter.

Czech Republic- Kemama

Standard Afro-pop, a genre we don't often see at the contest so I'll let it pass. I feel like this is the kind of song that’s infinitely better live, and that it would’ve been one of those songs that suddenly became a frontrunner after the semi finals, but I guess we’ll never know eh?

Denmark- Yes

The quintessential mid-10s Eurovision song. It's got guitars, happy people, Scandinavian origins… it’s just a typical radio guitar song, nothing special.

Estonia- What Love Is

I mean it's better than La Forza. Granted, the sound of someone pissing directly onto a microphone installed in the bowl of a toilet would sound better than La Forza but still. Going back to this song, it’s just... a standard Eastern-ballad with some very desperate lyrics. It feels kind of outdated, if I’m honest. Like something about this just reeks of 2011.

Finland- Looking Back

Yet another dreary, forgettable ballad. It comes to something when the best song they COULD have sent was a party song which sounded like it was from the mid 90s. At least that song was memorable. That said, this one at least has some decent lyrics. Bravo for that I guess.

France- Mon Alliée

France decides to say “fuck it” to being an underground fan-favourite and takes a leaf out of the UKs book by sending the same rent-a-Swede schlock they’ve been sending since 2015. I’m just confused as to why anyone in their right mind would choose to follow the UKs example but you do you France.

Germany- Violent Thing

A rehash of Sweden's entry from two years ago, but this time sung by Justin Bieber circa 2008. Kind of alright if you can stomach the singer's whiny voice, but otherwise pretty dull and kinda forgettable.

Greece- Superg!rl

Hello fellow kidz, we are hearing you like the girl power? The super heroes? The t3xt $p3ech? We made you song, please give us the votes *dabs*

Georgia- Take me as I Am

I mean… this sure is a choice. This feels like one of those songs that everyone memes on because the lyrics are kinda janky and the singer’s voice (and accent) take a bit of getting used to, but other than that it’s just one of those NQ songs for hipster fans to declare as their unironic winner at a later date. All in all this just feels like the male equivalent of one of those mid-10s fat acceptance women’s songs, only a lot shoutier and this time he has more flaws than not being skinny.

Iceland- Think About Things

A bootleg George Ezra song, performed by a load of disinterested tumblr users in their pyjamas. Because if there’s one thing that sells me on a song, it’s being given the evils by a bunch of nerds who look like they’ll send me death threats for not agreeing with their Pokémon headcanons. To be fair, the song is kind of groovy since it sounds so 70s, but the performance is very off-putting to people who aren’t in the Eurovision loop. And also people who are, because I sure as Hell don’t see the appeal in this myself and this whole performance just feels like Save Your Kisses for Me without the charm. I feel like this would’ve come second or third, definitely with a lot of televotes but either the jury would’ve dragged it down or it wouldn’t have scored enough televotes to win.

Ireland- Story of my Life

A song that’s at LEAST ten years out of date by this point, think like an early Katy Perry, Jessie J or Avril Lavigne song. I’ll forgive it because even though it sounds like it should’ve been entered in 2013 (at the latest), it at least evokes some nostalgic memories of shitty school discos and holiday parks.

Israel- Feker Libi

The female equivalent of the Czech song. Unsurprisingly, people went wild for it when it was released. I guess only women are allowed to sing Afro-pop at this contest. Like with the Czech song, I’ll forgive it since Afro-pop is a cool genre anyway, and even though this is just another club song I can at least see myself dancing to it.

Italy- Fai Rumore

Well, at least my wish of “Italy sends a typical power ballad devoid of anything the mainstream fandom likes” finally came true. It was pretty refreshing to have a year where people weren’t shoving Italy’s entry up my nose left right and centre. In terms of my actual thoughts I can’t deny that the guy has a tremendous voice, but for some reason the song just doesn’t… click with me. I guess I like my male Italian singers a little more gruff and raspy, if you know what I mean. They gotta sound like they smoke at LEAST five packets of cigarettes a day for me to take notice.

Malta- All of my Love

Listen I am 100% rooting for Destiny Chukunyere to win this contest some day but man was this song a disappointment. It feels so… un-special and generic, like it gets the job done and that’s it. It’s not the stand-up-and-belt-it-out soul anthem I’d hoped for, it’s just… there.

Moldova- Prison

All I remember about this song is that it vaguely reminds me of that one Meccano song about the gypsy who makes a deal with the moon or something. And I’ve TRIED to remember more about what it sounds like, trust me.

Latvia- Still Breathing

The one horrible weird song you get every year which overuses strobe effects to the point it comes with an epilepsy warning. Would be bearable if it wasn't for the singer’s insistence that this is actually some feminist masterpiece when it's really just a self-empowerment club song about the singer fingerbanging herself over the fact she writes music.

Lithuania- On Fire

One of the songs everyone thought was going to win at one point, even though it seems like a surefire non-qualifier to me. It’s one of those weird entries, but not the kind of over the top, batshit insane, you’d-have-to-be-drunk-to-enjoy-it weird, the kind of subdued surreal weird. Like this is weed instead of LSD or cocaine weird. Granted my mom, who I consider to be a "typical" Eurofan, actually really liked this song when she saw it in the recaps, so who knows maybe this would have done well with televoters after all.

Netherlands- Grow

I appreciate this song for how artsy and clever it is with its structure, since it starts off acapella and the instrumental builds up with the song until it stops suddenly, symbolising a person’s growth from a child into an adult, and ending suddenly with their death (Geddit? The song’s called “Grow”). But it feels like the kind of song that would be lost on a Eurovision audience. The juries would have taken note, for sure, but the televote… let’s be honest, they’d have been too busy drunk voting for Russia to care about anything else.

North Macedonia- You

Well, it's better than the miserable dirge they sent last year, but given how I'd rather pleasure myself with a steak knife than listen to that song, that really isn't saying much. Going back to “You”, it really just feels like a diet version of Switzerland’s entry from last year, combined with Sweden’s song from 2018. What I’m saying is it’s your average “I’m a man in a club and I want to dance with and probably fuck this hot girl I just met” song, which I a new genre I just made up. You’re welcome.

Norway- Attention

One of those songs you appreciate because it sounds nice and the singer has a good voice, but instantly forget because it’s really not all that interesting. If I sound like I'm repeating myself, welcome to Eurovision 2020.

Poland- Empires

“Rise Like a Phoenix” but sung by a wannabe Adele and not a mascara-wearing Jesus in a dress. Like a lot of other songs on this list, it’s just average across the board, likeable when it’s on, but instantly forgettable as soon as the next song comes on.

Portugal: Medo de Sentir

Pretty, but also similar to their ill-fated 2018 entry, only with a bit more energy and less pink hair. What I’m saying is this would have been another NQ unless the crowd who enjoy subtle ambience music come in to save it like they did with Slovenia's entry last year.

Romania- Alcohol You

See Bulgaria, because this is practically the same song. It’s just as dreary, just as badly sung (if not worse because holy shit this girl sounds like she’s being suffocated), and I suppose you COULD excuse that by saying she’s drunk or hungover… but I don’t want to listen to someone ungracefully mumble into a microphone for three minutes.

Russia- Uno

A classic big camp party song, the kind of song people who haven’t watched Eurovision since 2003 think wins on the regular. I can see why people would like it (especially in this boring year lmao, I applaud Russia for taking the opportunity to loosen their corset and just send a complete mess instead of their usual clinical vote grabs), but it’s just not something I enjoy. It's the song that plays into the misconception that Eurovision is just a clown show for drunk people, like this is just here to be that one flash-in-the-pan meme song that only entertains people who don’t really care about Eurovision until the day before it airs. Kind of like the old ladies they sent in 2012 (remember them?).

San Marino- Freaky!

San Marino, in true Sammarinese fashion, have yet again sent a decade-ambiguous song which sounds like it was either released in 1978 or 2003. I feel like this would have been one of those songs which could have surprised us if it had a really wacky, creative performance (think like Moldova in 2018), but this is San Marino so you know that would never happen.

Serbia- Hasta la Vista

Insert unoriginal joke about a decade wanting their shitty trend back right here. Okay maybe that’s a bit harsh, especially considering how this song is actually, yanno, unique in comparison to the rest of this year. But it still feels weirdly dated, in a way where I can’t decide whether it sounds like it belongs in 1998 or 2018. I suppose girl power ages a song regardless of when it was released.

Slovenia- Voda

Yet another standard Balkan-European power ballad which you appreciate because it’s well sung, but forget the moment it ends because it’s kinda boring. … Does anyone else have a bit of deja vu?

Spain- Universo

For some reason I feel like this song is shilling itself out to someone but I have no idea who. Aside from the horny people voting solely because the singer is moderately attractive even with that wretched Jedward haircut.

Sweden- Move

Imagine soul but… boring.

Switzerland- Répondez Moi

Imagine Arcade but… in French.

United Kingdom- My last Breath

Not the best the UK could have done, but it’s at least a modern offering unlike the residual dregs of the mid-90s that we sent throughout the 2010s. It’s definitely a bit too generic to have done any better than maybe 15th, but hey at least the cancellation means we won’t have to see it not do as well as the BBC thinks it’s entitled to do, prompting a billion clickbait articles about how Brexit somehow affected our performance.

Ukraine- Solovey

At long last we come to something you probably weren't expecting: a song I actually really like. Which is weird because I usually don't care for or don't like whatever Ukraine vomits into the contest, so I was pleasantly surprised to find a song I liked from them in such a weak year. This song isn’t for everyone, it’s white noise singing which is a very acquired taste, but this is honestly the only 2020 song I find myself coming back to over and over. And it’s in Ukrainian too, so you don’t have to put up with their usual mangled English offerings.

#and that conclude's the mods thoughts lmao #eurovision #if this is good i might do this with other years let me know what you think #mod speaks #mod reviews

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in-your-language · 5 years

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If I Can’t Have You

Hello! So I ended up deciding to post this (thanks to anyone that commented on my last post!), I hope it’s okay <3

Summary:

"The number of times he had slipped into a daydream where he finally gathered the confidence to ask Sam out was ridiculous in its own right, but really, how could it be his fault when Sam was constantly walking around looking like that."

A.k.a Grizz is very much into Greek tragedies and Sam Eliot.

[AO3 link in the reblog]

Grizz had somewhat of a committed relationship with Greek tragedies, and Wikipedia pages about Greek tragedies, and books about Greek tragedies. He also had somewhat a committed relationship with Sam Eliot’s Instagram profile, given how much he brought it up on his phone, but that was a matter for another time.

“The Trojan Women,” he announced louder than intended as he set the play down in front of Gordie.

The boy smiled, watching with curious eyes as Grizz took the seat opposite him. “I’m starting to think you have a thing for tragedies, Grizz. Sure you’re okay?”

“They have the best lines,” he explained, smiling back at Gordie as he began flicking through. “If it's not a tragedy then the characters don’t have any time to get all deep and philosophical.”

“But of course. Grizz the random reciter of meaningful play lines.”

“I take my job very seriously,” Grizz nodded, smile widening when Gordie began to laugh.

It was a miserable Thursday afternoon, with rain splattering against the windows and pattering against the roof. The large yellow lamps hanging above their head provided the library with warmth, particularly in comparison to the dull atmosphere outside.

“So what have you found out about it?” asked Gordie, leaning forward in his seat.

“Well - it was written during the Peloponnesian War,” he responded, eyes flicking over some of his annotations. “The Athenians were getting ready to dispatch a massive expeditionary force to attack Sicily. Very nice of them.”

Gordie moved around the table then, settling down in the seat beside Grizz, and their discussion about the historical context alone ended up lasting about 40 minutes. Wars were complicated in Grizz’ defence.

It was when the bell chimed, alerting them to other students, that Grizz allowed his eyes to wander. It was Sam who walked in, alongside his friend Becca. She was signing animatedly to him, whilst he looked over with a smile.

Grizz didn’t lose his composure often, but seeing Sam that day, hair disarrayed from the beanie he was wearing, smile bright enough to light up a whole damn room, suddenly it felt like the world was collapsing around him.

Sam’s eyes found his across the room as they always did, and he offered Grizz a playful smile before returning his attention to Becca again. Grizz let out a scarily lovesick-sounding sigh.

Gordie chose that moment to clear his throat, eyebrows shooting up knowingly as he looked over at Grizz. He hesitated for a moment, clearly trying to be careful with his words.

“You know...I’m not sure if you’ve seen, but there’s this movie called Love, Simon that seems pretty cool. It’s not a Greek tragedy but we could still watch it sometime if you wanted.”

Grizz snorted. The subtlety was astounding.

“Um,” he paused, trying to bite back a smile. Gordie was only trying to be supportive, after all. “Yeah, sure. That’d be nice. Saturday at my place?”

“Sounds like a plan! I’ll bring the popcorn.”

Grizz glanced back at Sam again, before sighing again and standing up from his chair. “I should probably get back to the team now, I’m sorry. Another session next Monday at lunch?” he asked, carefully closing the books that were scattered across the table and placing them in his bag.

“Sure,” said Gordie, following suit. He looked over at Sam too this time, smiling wide. “He’s cute,” he added, before turning around and heading towards the exit.

Grizz was left standing there for a moment, completely dumbfounded. He heard a giggle in the corner of the room, and he looked over to find Becca covering her mouth with her hand, Sam laughingly shushing her. He tried to ignore the pang of hurt in his chest as he slung his bag over his shoulder and made his way over to the exit.

Who was he kidding, he thought miserably as he walked, splashing through grey puddles. She was beautiful - everything Sam could’ve ever wanted.

“Now - what are we gonna do, guys?” Clark asked fiercely, fist raised in the air.

Grizz rolled his eyes and disappeared as subtly as he could into the background, preferring not to get involved with all the shouting.

“We’re gonna smash it!” came the responding chorus from the football team, Luke’s and Jason’s voices somewhere within the mix.

He looked out at the grandstands, shaded against the beaming sunlight that had broken up their week of rain. He was looking for someone in particular - he always was - but that didn’t mean he was going to admit it to himself. Butterflies flooded his stomach when a pair of blue eyes met his own, and suddenly he felt about twelve years old all over again.

Sam offered him another wave (they seemed to be getting more frequent and the idea of that terrified Grizz as much as it excited him), taking his hat off his head and holding it out in front of him. Grizz squinted for a moment as he read it, then a wide smile appeared on his face.

It had ‘Go sports!!’ printed on it, and Grizz suddenly felt so much fondness for this boy that it was slightly overwhelming.

Despite never having exchanged anything beyond ‘hi,’ he had somehow managed to develop a full-blown, all-consuming crush on Sam Eliot and honestly, it was kind of ruining his life. Once, he was so caught up in Sam smiling at him that he walked into a pole for starters. The number of times he slipped into a daydream where he finally gathered the confidence to ask Sam out was ridiculous in its own right, but really, how could it be his fault when Sam was constantly walking around looking like that.

Suddenly there was clicking in front of his face, and he tuned back into the real world to find Clark hovering in front of him. “Dude, the game’s starting! How the fuck are you day-dreaming now?”

Grizz immediately sprung to his feet with a hurried “sorry”, shaking his limbs out as he followed Clark onto the field.

The sound of a loud, shrieking whistle soon filled the air and all the boys around him were off. Grizz couldn’t help but sneak glances over at Sam, and when he wasn’t doing that the boy somehow managed to stay on his mind regardless. His movements all felt contrived, and his limbs weren’t cooperating, and yeah okay - who the fuck gave Sam the right?

There was insistent sunlight beaming down on him, and constant shouts ringing out in the air, and all Grizz could think about is what it would be like to feel Sam’s lips pressed against his.

He hated his brain sometimes.

It wasn’t a spectacular fail in the end - they won - but it was uncomfortably close for the team’s liking, and the general consensus was that Grizz had messed up big time.

“Dude, where the fuck was your mind that whole game?!” Clark exclaimed, waving a hand in front of his face.

“Fuck off, Clark. I was just having a bad day,” Grizz muttered as he shimmied into a pair of jeans.

“I’ve never seen you that off your game though,” Luke chimed in, walking over to the boy and placing a firm hand on his shoulder. “Sure you’re okay, bud?”

Grizz hesitated for a moment, gaze wondering past Luke’s shoulder, before letting out a resigned sigh. “There’s just this person I like that I haven’t really been able to get out of my head.”

Jason, who had been changing off to the side, froze almost instantly at the words. Clark had a huge grin painted across his face, while Luke seemed shocked more than anything.

Grizz didn’t blame them. He was rarely one to talk about romantic feelings no matter how much the boys prodded him, always shutting down any mention of the topic. But now that Sam had come into the picture and Grizz was reconsidering his whole stance on not coming out until College...

“Who’s the girl that’s finally managed to melt your heart of ice then, man?” Clark asked him, looking overly pleased by the confession.

“I’m not telling you guys,” Grizz said simply, shrugging as he pulled a shirt over his head.

Luke’s mouth fell open. “What?! Why?”

“You won’t know her,” he insisted, pushing past Clark to grab his gym bag.

“At least a description?” Jason begged, hands clasped together in front of him.

Grizz looked over at the trio, gaze hard, before rolling his eyes and slinging his bag over his shoulder. “Ginger hair. Blue eyes. Wears a lot of sweaters. Into books. That’s all you’re getting,” he told them, before leaving the change rooms.

Jason looked after him, shaking his head. “So he’s into a nerd then?”

“Don’t knock nerds,” said Luke with a shrug as he pulled on his own shirt.

“Is there even a ginger girl in our year?” Clark asked.

Grizz just shook his head as he walked away, trying hard to bite back a smile.

Grizz had never been the scandalous kind, but looking across the room at Sam he came to the conclusion he’d happily sneak around with that boy forever if it meant being with him. That is, if that’s what Sam wanted of course, which he didn’t. The rumours around Sam being gay were just that. Rumours. And Grizz couldn’t bring himself to believe that Sam didn’t like Becca with the way he looked at her.

That’s why it was a little startling for Grizz to be pulled into a random janitor’s closet by Sam of all people. Given the context, it hadn’t been totally weird. A practise intruder alarm had sounded across the school while Grizz was out collecting something from his locker. Perfect timing, if you ask him. Before he knew it, the classroom doors were being locked and the blinds were being drawn, leaving him standing there like an idiot until Sam pulled him aside.

The good news was that he wasn’t going to be told off by a teacher for being out and about. The bad news was that he was currently stood in the world’s smallest janitor’s closet, so close to Sam that he could barely breathe.

Grizz blindly reached for the light switch, and after a few failed attempts the lamp hanging above their heads flickered on.

He swallowed thickly. “Hey.”

Sam smiled apologetically. “Hey. Sorry for being so sudden,” he responded, signing along.

“It’s okay,” he smiled back, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

Grizz wracked his brain for any ASL he knew, but frustratingly enough he came up blank. Well - except for...

Bullshit, he signed, which had Sam bringing a hand up to his mouth to stifle his laughter.

“It’s the only sign I know,” he explained, feeling a blush rising on his cheeks as he spoke.

Sam nodded, smile fond as he leaned back against the wall. Grizz cleared his throat, hands nervously clasped together in front of him.

“I um...I liked your hat! From the game.”

“Oh, thank you. I worked very hard on it,” said Sam with a nod, voice playful.

Grizz actually fucking giggled at that, and for a second he was convinced that he had actually somehow managed to become twelve again.

The alarm was still blaring around them, and for a few moments, Grizz had almost forgotten about it. He bit his lip as he returned his gaze to Sam, obnoxious little butterflies filling his stomach.

Sam smiled faintly. “I see you looking at me a lot,” he spoke, hands signing along.

Grizz, without seeming dramatic, wanted the ground to swallow him up whole so he’d never have to deal with this conversation. This conversation with a cute boy who had definitely noticed all of his creepy staring.

“Sorry,” he managed, blushing like an idiot all over again. “It's uh...something I do a lot. Zone out.”

Sam raised an amused eyebrow. “So it’s just zoning out?”

Grizz bit his lip and nodded, heart racing now.

“That’s a shame. I thought maybe you liked me.”

And suddenly Grizz was considering the idea of this being a dream because what the actual fuck did Sam just say? His heart couldn’t take this.

“I - wait - um, do you...do you like me?” he spluttered out, embarrassed beyond belief.

Sam just smiled teasingly and shrugged, seeming about ten times more confident than Grizz felt.

“I don’t know. Do you like me?”

Grizz hesitated for a moment, looking anywhere but Sam as he contemplated on how the hell he should respond.

“...Yeah,” he managed, voice higher than he would’ve liked, but then he remembered that he was an idiot and the boy couldn’t hear him anyway.

Sam gave him a beaming smile.

I...like...you...too, he signed, movements slow. Grizz got the message, and he honestly had to refrain from pinching himself.

There they were - standing under a dangling yellow light amongst cleaning supplies in a closet that was criminally small, looking at one another as though waiting for something more. Waiting for one of them to break.

Sam swallowed, hints of nervousness shining through as he took a step forward, and that was enough for him to be right in Grizz’ space. Grizz let out a shaky exhale, bringing his hands up to rest on the boy’s waist. He had no idea whatsoever what he was doing, but he at least wanted to look as though he did.

Sam took this a cue, smiling slightly as he shuffled forward, allowing Grizz’s arms to wrap fully around his waist, before looping his arms loosely around Grizz’s neck.

Grizz was vaguely aware in the back of his mind that the alarm had stopped by now, but that seemed so distant he ended up ignoring it.

Sam inched closer, on his tippy toes now, and Grizz’ heart was officially soaring. He closed the final gap between them both, brushing his lips against Sam experimentally before drawing back again. Sam chased him, pulling him in and firmly connecting their lips.

Yeah. Okay. Grizz could definitely confirm the real thing was far better than imagining it, because holy shit.Sam’s lips were soft and slightly chapped against his own, and his hands were feather-light against his skin, brushing up his arms now (when had they left his neck?) Why he had wasted so much time pining when kissing felt this good was absolutely beyond him.

From that point on he relied almost entirely on instinct, which must’ve explained why he was suddenly lifting Sam up and setting him down on the wooden crate behind them, never disconnecting their lips. Sam pulled away for a moment, eyes alight with mischief as he gave Grizz a playful smile, before pulling the boy back in, hands travelling up to his hair now and tugging ever so slightly. The action pulled a small (embarrassing) gasp from Grizz, and he felt Sam’s smile widen.

It was when they heard shouting outside that they jumped apart, Sam hopping down from the wooden crate and Grizz frantically attempting to straighten his shirt. The door to the closet was thrown open and Luke was stood there, Clark and Jason right behind him.

Grizz swallowed, running a hand through his hair. “Uh. Hey guys.”

“We’ve been looking all over for you dude!” exclaimed Clark. “What are you doing in here?”

“The classrooms were locked,” explained Grizz as he stepped out into the corridor, Sam following close behind. “It seemed like the next best place.”

Luke was still looking between him and Sam, eyes narrowed sceptically. Grizz saw his eyes travel from Sam’s hair, to his face, to his sweater to - oh fuck he’s worked it out.

It didn’t take a genius, Grizz supposed. He and Sam were still panting a bit, shirts and hair in disarray, glances at one another awkward. That, on top of his blatant description of Sam, really wasn’t helping him in the slightest.

“Let's go, guys,” Luke said suddenly.

Clark and Jason gave him incredulous looks. “Why?”

“Let’s just fucking go, okay? Teacher’s probably waiting for us anyway,” he repeated, dragging them both with him down the corridor. He glanced over his shoulder when he reached the corner, giving Grizz a wink. Grizz smiled gratefully and gave him a wave in return.

“That was fun,” said Sam, smiling over at the boy.

Grizz bit back a smile of his own and nodded, giddiness setting in over what had happened.

“We should uh...do it again sometime? Maybe not at school, though...unless you want to.”

Sam’s smile took a mischievous edge. He leaned over to press a quick kiss to Grizz’s cheek. “I don’t mind school, but maybe we could see each other over the weekend? My parents aren’t home on Sunday.”

Grizz smiled. “It’s a date.”

#gram #grizzam #grizz visser #sam eliot #the society #fics #my fics

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borisbubbles · 5 years

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Eurovision 2010s: 70 - 66

70. Zoë - “Loin d’ici” Austria 2016

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Like many ranking high on this list, Zoë’s journey started in uncertainty. I don’t know what is about frivolous paperthin songs like these that make people dismiss their chances, but either way, many considered poor Zoë a borderline qualifier. I however, always knew she would make the finals 😊 And you know why? Because positivity, bitches.

From Naviband to Lake Malawi to Laura Tesoro, Eurosnobs have a penchant for underrating “Happy Songs”, writing them off as silly and shallow. True, joy is a fairly simple empotion. Does that make it any less valuable however? Too often do we take happiness for granted. Zoë radiates mirth from every pore, adorably sprinkling her viennese fairy dust everywhere with every twirl, conjuring upside down frowns on even the grouchiest faces.

So basically, “Loin d’ici” is such a refreshing breath of air because it is so unpretentiously carefree. It isn’t bogged down by the strict standards that the musical industry imposes on so-called “quality songs”. Yes, “Loin d’ici” is repetitive and frivolous and has no deep underlying meaning (other than a shallow narrative about some faraway land), but it doesnt need to be anything else. Its mere existence makes people happy and I can’t think of a better quality in a song.

________________________________________________________________

69. IMRI - “I feel alive” Israel 2017

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[2017 Review here]

Yes, that’s right “LIVE at the semifinal”. We rate songs according to their best performance here. (when it suits my interests 😈), which conventiently allows me to skip over IMRI’s awful finale performance. 😈 However... Imri’s voice breaking to pieces 😍 Self-prophesized irony is the best sort of irony.

Pictured: a metaphorical representation of IMRI’s vocal capabilities

Anyway, am I the only person who fucking LOVES Imri Ziv? I can’t be the only one, right? Leg-day skipping, sexually ambiguous (totally gay) meathead <3 There are two distinct reasons why I love him. The first and more obscure reason is his song. I mean, “I feel alive” is trashy mediterranean dance pulp 😍 with a wacky choreography 😍 and an underlying message that is about Imri’s ESC trajectory,😍 in which he has now pulled a hattrick 😍 Anthems of autofellation 😍 “I feel alive” made for a FANTASTIC closer, setting Kyiv en fuego with its dutiful dance droning.

As for the second reason, well,..

I’m pregnant. ________________________________________________________________

68. Michela - “Chameleon” Malta 2019

youtube

Is your phone operator letting you down? Do you struggle getting a clean connection on the island of Gozo? Or would you simply wish to support our glorious entrant? JOIN VODAFONE NOW and get up to €500 if Michela wins in Israel!

I am still in shock at how GREAT “Chameleon” ended up being. I mean, I had my reservations for the song but give her WATER, SHE’S A SWIMMER

GIVE HER FIRE, SHE’S A FIGHTER

GIVE HER LOVE, SHE’S A LOVER

SHE NEVER WALKS AWAY NA NA

Other than the cutting edge, mesmerizing staging that totally SOLD me on the song and beyond, there is of course Michela herself. Now, I have read a TON of criticism about her performance “EW SHE’S SO WOODEN AND CLUNKY AND NERVOUS NOT CONFIDENT AT ALL EW EW EW DIE” which... only endeared here even more to me lmfao. Like, Michela wasn’t born a lioness like Bilal and ZENA were. She is an introverted eighteen year old who won X-Factor Malta performing only ballads, it is NORMAL to not feel perfectly at ease if you were in her shoes. SHOW SOME EMPATHY!!. You think people would learn from Ellie “Blanche” Delvaux (that shy teenagers have plenty of charisma not in spite of their vulnerability, but because of it), but I suppose they enjoy getting smacked in the face with the truthhammer when their objects of hate prove their undisputed awesomeness.

PS: this is a mood:

________________________________________________________________

67. Eugent Bushpepa - “Máll” Albania 2018

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[2018 Review here]

Eugent was is another of those entries I kind of overlooked during the preshow and ended up AWESOME. Though he comes with the advantage that I already liked his song prior the live show. Never the less, being Albania in the Red Wedding Semi, I had already resigned myself to his inevitable NQ though when suddenly

out of nowhere

he fucking OWNED the Altice Arena?

and I mean, I was in shock because um HELLO who are you and where were you all this time?? Of course, “Mall” is a good song in itself, a typical Albanian song: a quirky rock ballad that toes the line between dated and avant garde (though in this case it’s definitely *more* avant garde than dated), shot with cinematic precision.

However the main draw to “Mall” is obviously Eugent’s voice. Holy shit I swear this is something I don’t normally care about but Eugent hit the entire vocal spectrum with it, bullseye. He did things with his voice I never thought a human could do. It’s like Anja Nissen... on crack and if Anja Nissen had a good song, likable personality and epic sense of fashion.

So, the conclusion I want to draw here is... is this the best male vocal performance of the decade? It might very well be.

shouts to @admanholmo for reading and commenting regularly on my blog! I hope you’re not to disappointed I booted your favourite, but #67 isn’t too bad I think! Onward to (slightly) better things

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66. Minus One - “Alter Ego” Cyprus 2016

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Entering with what is one of the BEST opening shots ever in a Eurovision song:

Minus One may appear underwhelming, being ranked right after Eugent and being in a year that has 😍NIKA KOCHAROV😍 in it, but holy shit I was INSTANTLY hooked by that epic close up and never gave up, nor gave in. Actually that’s a lie because I fell in love with “Alter Ego” the SECOND it was released. 🤭 Thomas G:sson is often credited for penning “Euphoria” but his best genre is -without question- schlager. And yes, this wonderful, unique, beautiful blend of metal and schlager is exactly what WE ALL NEED in our lives. Denying it is pointless. BE SWEPT AWAY by the EPILEPSY

the LYCANTROPY

and just the general dark, moody INSANITY:

WE’RE CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAWN AND THE SUNRISE LIFE IS A MIRACLE I SAW IT IN YOUR EYES.

I am not in love with Cyprus in this decade, nor do I think they were particularly good even though Eleni may make it appear that way. Cyprus have always been one of the most middling ESC nations to me, but it’s worth nothing that their highs are usually much higher than their lows are low. It’s just a question of getting highs consistently, which Cyprus normally don’t because the hellenic budget usually goes to Greece instead. With Greece going through a dark age however, I think they could reap the benefits and even clinch another top five soon though.

#Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #Cyprus #Albania #Malta #Israel #Austria #Zoë Straub #Loin d'ici #Imri Ziv #I feel alive #Michela Pace #Chameleon #Eugent Bushpepa #Máll #Minus one #Alter ego

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p-artsypants · 5 years

Text

Rage Awakened (4)

Ten years ago, Terra, Aqua, and Ventus lost their fellow apprentice, Sora, in Deep Jungle. Now, they are to return with two new students, Riku and Kairi, to lock the heart of the world. All the while, something watches from the trees. Feral!Sora AU

FF.net | Ao3

@chachacharlieco2 @violetstar-writes

—

They had been in Deep Jungle for days now. Nothing to see but plants and heartless. Even the gorillas had disappeared from the first time they saw them. They were no closer to finding the keyhole than they were on the first day when they hadn’t even started looking.

The sightings of the wild boy continued, though no one was ever able to get a clear look at him.

One morning, while breakfast was being prepared, everyone sat around in various degrees of wakefulness. Then, without warning, a wicker basket filled with fruit fell from the ceiling and landed next to Kairi with a ‘wham!’

Everyone jumped at the gift, startled, before Ventus called out, “thank you sentient tree house!”

Then, three days into the voyage, with no end in sight, they finally made some headway.

It came mid afternoon, on a day that was hot and humid, as most days were in the jungle. The bugs were out, and everyone was cranky from sleeping on the floor for so many nights.

Riku was heading the pack, his job was keeping everyone going in the same direction, north by northwest. All the while, Kairi brought up the rear, her eyes wandering the canopy, just as she had on the first day.

“Look!” She cried, seeing something through the trees. “A treehouse!”

“Ugh, we’re back at camp? We walked all the way around the world?” Asked Ventus with a groan.

Kairi was already pushing plants aside to make her way over. “No! It’s a different treehouse!”

And indeed it was. Smaller than the first one, but newer. A second even smaller treehouse sat in the adjacent tree, connected with a bridge. There was a rope ladder hanging down, and smoke coming from a little chimney.

“Hello!” Called Kairi. “Is someone there?”

Terra and the rest caught up with her. “Wait! What if they’re dangerous?”

Riku interjected. “This is the first lead we’ve had! We should take it!”

A brunette woman poked her head out the window of the treehouse. “My goodness! I’m not hearing things!” She called, with an English accent. “There’s people! I’ll be down in just a moment!”

“She looks nice,” Ventus commented.

The woman descended using a vine, sliding down and landing right in front of them. “Hello! My, it has been some time since I’ve seen other people! You must be from another world! Are you here to study the gorillas?” Then she grew less friendly, “or are you here to hurt them? Because if you are, I’ll—I’ll...well, I’m not sure what I’ll do, but I can assure you it won’t be pleasant!”

Ventus whispered to Riku. “I like her.”

“We’re not here to hurt the gorillas,” Terra said, raising his hands peacefully. “In fact, we’re here to help them, in a way, Miss uh...”

“Oh, where are my manners? My name is Jane, Jane Porter. It’s a pleasure.” She held her hand out.

He shook it. “I’m Terra, these are my friends, Aqua, Ventus, Riku, and Kairi.”

“So, what does bring you folks to our Jungle?”

“Well,” Terra explained, hesitating. “We’re looking for a keyhole.”

“And a wild man!” Ventus added.

“Preferably both,” said Aqua.

Jane smiled, “well, I know of no keyhole, but the wild man you’re looking for is probably my husband. He should be along here sometime. Won’t you all come up and have some tea?”

Kairi’s heart sank into her shoes. That boy had been someone’s husband? And he had kissed her? Oh this was not good.

“Tea sounds lovely, thank you.” Aqua agreed.

Jane led the way up to the treehouse, gesturing them inside. “Come in! Come in! Make yourselves at home. I know it must be exhausting hiking through the jungle. Sit wherever you’d like.”

Immediately Ventus and Riku plopped down on a couch that, despite its Victorian appearance, was quite comfortable.

Jane set on the kettle and then called out to the neighboring treehouse, “Daddy! Daddy wake up, we have company!” Then she looked at her guests. “My apologies, it’s been so long since we had visitors that spoke English! You see, we’re researchers. About three years ago, Daddy and I came here from a neighboring world called London to study the gorillas.”

“Oh!” Cried Ventus. “We’ve been to London!”

Riku nudged him, “hush.”

“You have?” Said Jane happily. “Sometimes I really miss those streets, but other times I remember all the smoke and noise, and I’m glad I stayed here.”

“Why did you stay?” Asked Terra politely. “Your husband?”

“Yes, precisely. Daddy and I came here with another man, Clayton, on a grant to stay for about a month. Nearly the first day we arrived, I met him. He saved me from an angry fleet of baboons. A flying man in a loin cloth…”

“What’s his name?” Asked Riku.

“Oh, it’s...it’s a little odd, it’s Tarzan.”

The group collectively deflated, now knowing that the wild man was not who they wanted him to be.

“He didn’t speak any English,” Jane continued. “So, we taught him. We taught him reading and writing, math and science, about all the other worlds and galaxies out there. When the ship came to take us back, we tried to get Tarzan to come along with us...but our guide Clayton betrayed us, caged all the gorillas, and killed the alpha.”

The group stayed quiet, letting her speak, since it seemed so long since she had had any company. “Tarzan and Clayton fought, and in the end, Tarzan won. But the alpha, in his dying moments, chose Tarzan to be the next leader of the pack. So he couldn’t return with us.” A small smile came to her face. “So I decided to stay too, and so did daddy.”

At that moment, a small old man came in the door, “I say, we do have company! A mighty gay crew of young adventurers at that! How wonderful! Archimedes Q. Porter, at your service! Jane, you’ve got the kettle on?”

“Of course, Daddy. They’re here in search of a keyhole, and they were looking for Tarzan!”

“A keyhole? In the jungle? You might as well be looking for a needle in a haystack!”

Jane took pause. “Come to think of it, for what reason are you looking for Tarzan?”

Aqua answered. “Well, at first we wondered if he was someone we once knew. But, we also wondered if he would have any hints to finding the keyhole...”

“And what does this keyhole lock, or unlock, as the case may be?”

“Well...” Terra and Aqua shared a look, trying to decide what was appropriate to say.

Riku took the decision away from them. “Have you seen the strange creatures that look like monkeys, but definitely aren’t?”

“Oh! You mean those blue menaces?! Of course! They’re the reason we had to leave the old treehouse!” The professor exclaimed.

“You mean the two-story one? A bit south of here?”

“That’s the one!”

“That’s where we set up camp! The heartless were a big problem there?”

“Is that what they’re called?” Asked Jane. “And why yes, but...they’ve been a problem everywhere in the Jungle. Tarzan is nearly at his wits end trying to kill them all! But they just keep coming back! They breed like rabbits!”

“They don’t actually breed…” Terra began. “The heartless are born of the darkness in people’s hearts. They’ve been getting worse everywhere. The locking the keyhole will stop them from swallowing this world completely, and get them to stop re-spawning.”

Jane sighed in relief. “If that’s the case, I’m sure Tarzan will do what he can to help you.”

Then, the kettle screamed, and Jane began to serve the tea. “You know, you say those heartless are made from the darkness in people’s hearts. It makes quite a bit of sense then, really, since they came around the same time we did. Clayton, the man I spoke of before, was terribly evil. We hired him to keep us safe in the jungle, but he ended up being the biggest threat.” She put the tea on the tray and brought over for everyone to take a cup. “I still feel awful about it. This world would have been so much better off if we hadn’t come.”

“Would Tarzan?” Asked Aqua.

And just like that, a figure dropped into the room with a ‘whomp’, poised on the balls of his feet.

Jane collected herself quickly. “There you are, darling! We have guests!”

The man was already halfway across the room, giving each of the wielders a studious look. “Guests…”

“They said they’ve been looking for you.”

“For me?” He took a special interest in Terra, Aqua, and Ven. “Been to see my mother. Said she and others were rescued from the not-chimps by people. One that looked like me,” he pointed at Terra, “one with hair like water,” he pointed at Aqua, “and one with hair like bananas.” He pointed at Ventus.

“Hey!”

“Oh yes!” Said Aqua, “we saved some gorillas from the heartless. Are they your family?”

“Yes, my family. Thank you.”

Ven grinned. “No sweat, it’s our job.”

“Kairi, is this the man you saw?” Riku spoke up.

It was almost with relief that she said, “no, he’s not.”

“Not Tarzan? My, then I feel sorry for wasting your time while I just rambled…hold on, you mean to say you saw another wild man out in the Jungle?”

“Yes, a few days ago.”

“Other,” said Tarzan. “One other.”

“Other? Oh!” Jane gasped. “Goodness gracious, I had completely forgotten about him! There is another wild man out there, but I only saw him once…and he was not very friendly. He almost got violent actually, Tarzan had to wrestle him away.”

“Not like Tarzan,” Tarzan said, “not part of pack. Comes and goes.”

No one got their hopes up. That didn’t sound like Sora at all.

Still, Riku asked, “does he have a name?”

After a moment, Tarzan answered:

“Sora.”

Aqua’s teacup shattered on the floor, as she stared at the man in horror. “I...I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to...”

“Oh, it’s alright,” Jane pacified. “Not much use for china in the Jungle, right? Are...are you alright?”

Aqua rubbed the heel of her hand into her eye. “I...I’m fine...” though as she said it, more tears came until she was weeping openly.

Terra quickly rushed over, and embraced her, where she buried her head in his shoulder to cry.

“Said something wrong?” Asked Tarzan.

“No,” said Terra, his voice choked up. “You said the right thing.”

“You’re...his family, aren’t you?” Jane surmised.

“Yeah...we...we came here about ten years ago, for a training exercise. He was only six then, and we left him and Ven at camp. When we returned, the camp was destroyed, Ven was unconscious and bloody, and Sora was nowhere to be found.”

“We searched for days!” Aqua sobbed. “But all we found was his bloody clothes. We didn’t think he could have—we thought he was dead! But all this time, he’s been here. Alone...”

“There there, don’t blame yourself.” Jane consoled, getting her a fresh cup of tea. “Given the evidence you found, it was a very natural conclusion you arrived at. You searched for days. And...he’s alive. You’ll be reunited!”

“But, I can’t help but be afraid, what if he thinks we abandoned him here?”

“If you explain it, he’ll understand.”

Terra asked Tarzan, “what can you tell us about him?”

The man scratched his head, trying to recall old memories. “Found him when he was small. Hurt. Scratched. Naked. Brought him home to family, for help. Kerchak didn’t want him to stay. Said he was marked as prey, being hunted. Mom begged him to stay until he was healed. Kerchak agreed. Thought he would die, but didn’t. He healed, and stayed with us for a while, and then left. Found him later, hurt again, brought him back again. Over and over, same thing. Kerchak was right, marked as prey, but predator doesn’t kill. Still hunting him.”

That was troubling. “He’s being hunted? By what?” Asked Aqua.

“Strange creature. Black, blue, and red.”

“That sounds like a heartless,” said Riku with mounting concern.

Tarzan further explained, “when first met Sora, he made weird sounds. I now know it was English. Then each time we found him, made less of those noises, more animal noises. More animal behavior. Now, he is like something different. Not like Jane, not like Tarzan’s family. Not like Tarzan.”

“What kind of animal is he acting like?”

“One I have never seen before.”

Kairi still didn’t mention her other encounter with him at the treehouse, but she thought about it. He had parroted what she had said, and if this truly was Sora, shouldn’t he be able to recall at least a little bit? Had he lost himself that much?

Everyone else was considering Tarzan’s news of a heartless hunting Sora. What sort of Heartless plays with its victim for over ten years? It sounded like the intentional work of Maleficent.

Jane broke the silence, “Tarzan, have you ever heard of a keyhole? Our friends are looking for one.”

He thought a moment. “I know of lots of holes. Explain more?”

Jane went over to her dresser, grabbed her jewelry box, and brought it over for him to see. “This little hole right here is a keyhole, if I put the key in it, it unlocks the box, and I can open the lid. In London, all the houses have keyholes on them so you can get inside.”

“And there’s one in the Jungle?” He asked the guests.

“There should be. We just…have no idea where to start,” Said Aqua. “Is there somewhere or something significant in the jungle? Something important?”

“There’s the waterfalls,” Jane mused. “It’s the main freshwater source, at the heart of the Jungle.”

“The heart of the Jungle!” The five exclaimed.

“We have to go to the waterfalls! Can you take us there, Tarzan?”

The man wandered over to the door, looking outside, thinking.

“He’s a very quiet man.” Jane whispered to her guests. “He’s basically the king of the Jungle, so he must consider the animal’s safety.”

He came back and declared, “not yet, but I will come for you soon. Where is your camp?”

“At the old treehouse, to the South.”

He nodded in understanding. “I will try to find Sora, tell him his family looks for him. Thank you for helping us.”

—

Later that night, Aqua boarded the gummi ship, as she had every night of their trip, and called Master Eraqus.

“It’s late, Aqua. Busy day?”

“Yes, Master. We finally found a lead. There were some researchers from another world here to study the gorillas, and the woman married a man raised by the apes.”

“A man raised by the apes? He was there last time too?”

“I guess? He looked about Riku’s age. They said the waterfalls are at the ‘heart’ of the world, and once the timing is right, he’s going to take us there.”

“The timing?”

“Yes…I’m not exactly sure what that means, but Tarzan has to protect the other animals, he’s like their king. So we have to abide by his rules.”

“Thus preserving the order of things, of course. Well, I hope it doesn’t take too long, for everyone’s sake. How are the rest? Is everyone alright?”

Aqua didn’t answer immediately, her glance away from the screen. “Master, we…I think we found him.”

“…you don’t mean…?”

“Kairi said she saw a wild man in the Jungle, who saved her from the heartless. When we met the researchers, they confirmed there was wild man, another besides the one we met today. They said his name is Sora.”

“Oh god…”

“Master, what are we going to do? We can’t just leave him here!”

“I know, I know…but we mustn’t be hasty. We need to treat him with care, find out what he would like to do. We can’t force him to do anything.”

“One other thing…Tarzan said he was marked as prey. Said he was being hunted by a strange black creature.”

Eraqus frowned hard. “That’s not good. The boy’s heart is strong, and doubtless a very powerful heartless has its eyes on him. No matter what Sora decides in the end, you will need to stop that heartless. We owe that much to him at least.”

Aqua nodded in agreement. “Yes master.”

“And Aqua?”

“…yes?”

“It’ll all work out in the end.”

#kingdom hearts #kh #tarzan au #tarzan #jane porter #sora #Kairi #riku #aqua #terra #ventus #Birth By Sleep #feral!sora #rage awakened #fanfiction

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unhingedandi · 5 years

Photo

Hello! I participated in the aos Rarepair exchange! I wrote for @robotgort I combined both of your prompts so I hope you enjoy this! Never written for Mackelena before so this was fun, I hope you like it!!

The Piece I Was Missing

Elena’s life was routine. She gets up in the morning, goes to work, goes home, and repeats. When she first moved here, to this new and strange country, it felt like everyone around her was moving at a faster pace and she was being left in the dust.

She had always been a fast learner though, so she caught up quickly.

Now? Life was boring. There were no races anymore. No race to find a house, to find a job: those races had ended. And she had won. So now, she was ahead and bored.

She voiced her complaints to Daisy, one of her close friends and also her roommate, who only replied with, “You just need to get laid.”

Elena rolled her eyes. “Why is that your solution to everything?”

“I’m serious! If you’re so bored, spice things up a bit! It’s what I did.” She shrugged nonchalantly. “And look at me now.”

“Wow, an annoying and unhelpful friend, exactly who I wanna be,” Elena sarcastically quipped back, flicking a hair tie at her. “You just got lucky that your experimental phase landed you a girlfriend.”

“At least I have someone. When was the last time you were in a relationship, hm? Or at least…you know… got a bit naughty?” Daisy wiggled her eyebrows, laughing when Elena threw an entire pillow at her. “All I’m saying is, you can’t change your life without changing. Dude, if you do the same thing over and over every day of your life, obviously nothing’s gonna change. You gotta go out and do something. Meet people. Try new things. Figure out what makes you…not bored.” Daisy shrugged again and settled back into the couch, seemingly having decided that that was enough pep talks for one day.

Elena was quiet for a moment, dwelling on her words before slowly nodding. “I guess you’re right. Though change for me isn’t gonna be sleeping with every man and woman that looks at me.”

“Hey, it got me Piper. No regrets.”

When Elena drove home the next day, she passed by a cluster of stores and decided to stop. In all of her almost five years of living there and driving past the area, she had never stopped by. It was time for her to take Daisy’s advice, and change up her life a bit.

She walked along the sidewalk, seeing different clothing and jewelry stores. She paused a few times to look through windows, finding a few interesting things here and there. She passed by a music store, staring at the instruments and thinking about what it would be like to learn. Maybe that was what she needed, a bit of music to mix things up.

Elena had almost worked up the nerve to walk in, when something else caught her eye. A small store, much smaller than any of the others, with art on display outside of it. Beautiful colors painted over canvases, forming captivating landscapes and portraits. The words Painting with Hope were written at the top of the store. Intrigued, she walked closer, admiring the amount of detail that seemed to have been put into it. She looked at the sign advertising the paintings. Without pausing to think about it or second guess herself, she walked in the store.

It was small and humble, two of the walls covered in different paintings. A counter was sat in front of them with a cash register, and the other side of the store had multiple easels, chairs, paints, and brushes.

A large man, almost twice the size of her, stood from one of the chairs, separating himself from the canvas he was working on. He approached her, a small smile on his lips and his eyes sparkling.

“Hi, welcome, you looking for anything?”

Elena stared at him for a moment, struck by how the fact that he was towering over her didn’t even intimidate her due to the waves of kindness practically rolling off of him. “Um, no actually, just passing through. Did you do all of these?”

He nodded. “You’re welcome to make requests and I can do a specific painting for you. Or I even do portraits of people if you want. I warn you though, you have to be able to sit and do nothing for a while.” He chuckled lightly. “I also do lessons, if you’re interested in learning.”

She walked over to a painting, the Eiffel Tower with a sunset in the background, quietly observing it. Something about this place just lit a match inside of her, and the boredom that was eating away at her insides was slowly fading.

“I would like that, I think. What times are you available for lessons?”

•

“Well, well, well, someone looks happy. And you’re home late. Which has never happened before. What’d you do? What’d you do?”

Daisy was attacking her with the question before she had even gotten the chance to put her keys down.

“I signed up to take a painting lesson.”

Daisy’s excitement seemed to deflate at those words, and she raised an eyebrow, her nose scrunching up. “A painting lesson? Like-” She waved a hand through the air like she was holding a paintbrush. “That kind of painting?”

Elena rolled her eyes. “No, the kind of painting where you ride unicorns.”

Daisy huffed in return. “That’s how you’re gonna spice up your life? I thought Jem was the nerd!”

“Yes, because I should be doing something cool, like hitting a gay bar with you and Piper.”

“I mean…you could.”

Elena sighed, pulling out the card Mack had given her with the studio’s number. Off to the side, it had a picture of him holding a brush to a canvas, giving a wonderful view of his bicep, which she knew would get Daisy’s attention. “This is what the guy teaching me looks like.”

Daisy grabbed the card, eyeing her skeptically before looking at it, her eyes widening. “Damn,” she breathed. “And here I thought you weren’t looking to get laid.”

“I’m not!”

“Mhm, sure.”

•

As she walked into the shop Mack gave Elena a warm smile that she couldn’t help reciprocating.

“Hey, you ready to dive right in?” She nodded, tying her hair up into a messy bun. He handed her an apron that she slipped on, tying it around her waist. “Okay, come here. We’re starting with a simple landscape. I’ve already done the basic outline, all that’s left to do is paint it.” She walked over to where a canvas was set up with pencil marks on it, resting on an easel.

He handed her a brush, holding out a pallet with different colors on its. “Start with a shade of green to be the base for the grass. Don’t use too much paint at once, and use light strokes.”

She carefully dipped the brush into the green, and went to the canvas, nervous about marking the perfectly blank piece in front of her. She tentatively dragged the brush across, looking over at Mack for confirmation that she was doing okay. He nodded encouragingly, so she continued with renewed confidence. She made a few marks before she heard him chuckle beside her and grip her elbow gently to stop her from doing more.

“You’re not doing bad, don’t worry. Just slow down a bit. Take your time, art takes patience. Don’t go too fast.”

She laughed lightly, blushing. “That always seems to be a problem with me.”

“That’s okay. Just try and let the brush go smoothly across, don’t press in too hard, and don’t rush it.”

She nodded, sticking her tongue out in concentration. When Elena still couldn’t seem to get it, Mack set the pallet down and reached over, his hand hovering over hers. “Can I lead your hand for a bit? So you can get a feel for it?” She nodded, giving her consent for him to wrap his hand around hers. His hand was warm, albeit a bit calloused, and it dwarfed her smaller one. He moved closer to be able to comfortably reach the canvas, his body warmth reaching Elena through the small distance apart they were. She held back a shiver as goosebumps erupted up and down her body.

He led their joined hands with the brush back towards the painting, swiping it across is slower strokes. Elena watched with fascination as the paint swirled across, Mack carrying the brush, and her hand along with it, with ease, as if he had been doing this his whole life.

Eventually, he let go, stepping back. “Think you got it?”

“Yeah.” She bit her lip, dipping her brush in paint again and trying to mimic his movements.

He grinned. “There you go.”

“So slowing down is the trick. Got it, Turtleman,” She joked, unable to help the teasing smile that played on her lips.

Mack laughed, shaking his head. “I’m looking forward to lessons with you.”

Too fast, an hour passed by, and Elena was forced to pull away from the canvas, that was actually starting to look like something was forming. She scheduled another class for the next week, and paid Mack what she owed him before bidding him farewell.

When she got back to her apartment, she found Jemma, Daisy, Piper, and Bobbi all waiting for her. They looked up at her arrival, eyes glowing.

“So how was your painting class?” Bobbi asked, smirking from where she was sitting on the couch.

Elena rolled her eyes, sending a pointed glare at Daisy. “Seriously?”

Daisy shrugged in response. “They asked me where you were, since you never go out. So I answered.”

Elena scoffed, sure Daisy didn’t need much prompting to spill. She plopped down on the couch between her and Jemma, stealing the beer from her roommate’s hand. Jemma elbowed her playfully, grinning. “So what was it like? Finally doing something different? Painting must’ve been fun.”

“Nerds,” Daisy mumbled under her breath, earning her a glare from both Elena and Jemma, causing her to bury her face into Piper’s neck to hide her smile.

“The lesson was great, I’m going again next week, Mack was very nice, and no, we didn’t make out or anything like that,” Elena said quickly, directing the last part to her roommate before taking a drink.

“Okay, but was he like, polite nice or ‘I’m into you’ nice?” Bobbi raised an eyebrow.

The latina rolled her eyes again. “You’re all unbelievable.”

Piper raised a hand, looking offended. “I haven’t done anything to you.”

“You and Daisy keep me awake all night. This apartment has thin walls.”

Piper slowly lowered her hand.

•

As the lessons continued, Elena was slowly starting to get the hang of it, leading to Mack not having to correct her as much. Instead, they made conversation, learning more about each other. Mack told her about growing up and learning how to paint with his mom before she passed, and his struggle to get a business up and running. In return, Elena told him about coming to America and learning a whole other language in order to get a job. Every once in a while he would offer feedback on her painting, giving tips and suggestions. Eventually, the lessons started feeling less like lessons and more like coming to chat with a friend.

Elena found herself disappointed when she looked at the clock and saw that the time was almost up on their latest session. She pushed a strand of hair out of her face, leaning back and looking at the painting. It was close to done, hardly any white left at this point. As if he could read her thoughts, Mack chuckled.

“Don’t think you’re almost done. I still have to teach you how to blend in more color and add in shading.”

Elena huffed. “How long does it take you to finish a painting?”

He shrugged, a smile playing on his lips. “Around a month, if I hurry.” She gaped at him, causing him to laugh and raise an eyebrow. “Well did you think it happened over night?”

She scrunched up her nose. “Turtleman.”

Mack grinned back at her, before checking the time himself. “Well, it looks like we’re out of time, but you want the same time again next week?”

Elena nodded, heading over to the sink to wash the paint off of her hands. When she was done, she reached into her purse to pay Mack, but looked up to see him biting his lip to stifle laughter. “What?”

He pointed at her. “You have paint on your face.”

She rolled her eyes, looking at herself in the camera on her phone, finding a smudge of paint across her cheek, probably from scratching herself. She looked up again to see him offering her a rag, a knowing smile on his face.

“Don’t worry, that’s happened to me more times than I can count.”

She rubbed at the spot on her cheek, and without meaning to she let out a whine of frustration when it wouldn’t come off.

“Here, mind if I try?”

She eyed him, before sighing and handing him the rag. He placed it under the faucet to get it wet before returning it to Elena’s face, rubbing at the spot again nowhere near as violent as she was being earlier. Eventually, he pulled away with a satisfied smile. “Got it.”

She examined her face before smiling. “Gracias. I did not want to go get lunch with this on my face.” Now she did reach into her wallet, handing him money.

He took it, and as he walked around the counter he said, “I was about to go get lunch too. Where were you headed?”

Elena shrugged. “Probably Taco Bell.” She bit her lip, debating something, before blurting, “Want to join me?”

He seemed to think about it too, but he eventually nodded. “Sure. Let me lock the place up first.”

She sat down in one of the chairs as Mack put things away, grabbing the cash that was in the register and stuffing it in his wallet. He grabbed his keys and made his was back over to her, that warm smile on his face. Elena briefly wondered how someone could just so naturally always have a smile on his face. Especially one that calmed everyone it was directed at. At least, she imagined it calmed everyone, because it definitely had that effect on her.

“Ready to go?” His voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and she nodded, leading the way into the parking lot. She was about to climb into her car, but she froze when he called out, “Wait.” She turned to look at him, a questioning look on her face as he pursed his lips nervously, seemingly unsure. “Do you have anywhere to be?”

She thought over his question for a moment, glancing at her phone screen to make sure Daisy hadn’t texted. “No. Why?”

“Mind if I show you something? I know a scenic route that leads further into town, if you want to ride with me. Its really nice this time of year.”

“Trying to kidnap me, Turtleman?” She teased, even as she was already walking towards his car.

He opened his mouth quickly as if reassure her that that wasn’t the case before he seemed to notice she was joking, to which he only rolled his eyes, opening the passenger door for her.

Elena climbed in, buckling her seatbelt as he started the car. She reached towards the radio, shooting him a questioningly look. “Do you mind?”

Mack shook his head. “Be my guest.”

“Technically I already am.” She gave a cheeky grin as she turned music on. As soon as the first song started playing, they both began singing along, laughing at each other while doing it. Elena watched in a fit of laughter as Mack belted out to Adele.

“You have to make the note even higher!”

“Oh my bad.” He cleared his throat before making his voice ridiculously high pitched, only being able to hold it for all of two seconds before they both erupted in an uproar of laughter.

“Why are you a painter? You’re missing the opportunity of a singing career.”

“Honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

She sighed, shaking her head. “What a waste of your gift.”

The act finally dissipated, Mack glancing over with a grin as she snickered.

The car slowed slightly, prompting Elena to look out the window. A gasp unconsciously left her mouth as she took in the landscape in front of her.

They were on a road with a dense forest on one side, the leaves turning warm shades of red and oranges, and on the other side was an open field, a river running through it.

“Ay Mack! Que belleza!” She pressed her face to the window, eyes dancing over all of it and trying to take it all in before they passed it.

He chuckled. “That means pretty right? I don’t know much Spanish.”

She turned to look at him, beaming in adoration. “It means beautiful. You’ve painted this, no?” Her mind briefly remembered seeing something similar hung up in his shop.

He nodded. “There’s a spot I like to sit at a few miles ahead. We’ll stop by it.”

The window begged for Elena’s attention again, and she turned to look, watching as the colors flashed by in a blur. Eventually, Mack turned off the main road, heading down a smaller path that was slightly inclined. He stopped the car a couple feet before a ledge, shooting Elena a smile as they both got out of the car. Together they walked over, Elena’s eyes widening at the view. It looked like the kind you only saw in photographs or artwork, not something you could witness in real life with your own two eyes.

And Elena understood. She saw Mack’s love for painting in new light, because she wanted nothing more than to take this beautiful image and replicate it so she could keep it forever. A photograph taken and viewed on a screen could never be enough to capture everything in the moment. It had to be something real, something that a person had poured their entire soul into.

Mack watched Elena, a peaceful smile on her face, the wind softly blowing her hair back, her eyes gazing in awe at the landscape. Part of him wanted to gaze at her like this forever, and he briefly wondered if she could ever give him the honor of painting her. The idea seemed impossible, it wasn’t like the fiery blaze that was Elena Rodriguez could every be perfectly shown in one painting.

Elena tore her eyes away from the world in front of her, instead looking at the man responsible for showing it to her in the first place. They locked eyes, and something fluttered deep inside her chest, her breath catching. She found herself unable to look away, Mack seemingly feeling something similar. They stared into each other’s eyes for what simultaneously felt like an eternity, and not enough time.

Eventually, his eyes darted away and Elena could breath again. She broke the silence, her voice barely above a whisper. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

He nodded, a soft smile on his face. “We should actually get food now.”

They got back in the car, and Elena leaned her head back, that relaxed smile returning to her face as they drove. She didn’t reach for the radio this time, and they drove in a peaceful silence. It was comforting, and Elena had never been more grateful to Daisy for urging her to do something. This moment right here, this was exactly what she needed. She figured she could live in this moment for the rest of her life, and still be perfectly content.

They stopped for food at a burger place, the nearest place they could find, sitting down across from each other to eat. They had argued for a while at the register over who would pay.

“I pay you to teach me to paint, Turtleman, not to feed me.”

“You already pay me enough though!”

They eventually paid half and half.

Halfway through their food though, Mack got a call. He frowned at the caller ID, picking it up and saying, “Sorry, do you mind if I take this?” Elena gestured that it was okay, and he pressed the phone to his ear.

“Hey Fitz, what’s up?” A small smile played on his face as he slapped away Elena’s hand, that was trying to sneakily get close to his fries. The smile slowly melted from his face as the voice on the other end of the phone replied.

“A pipe burst in your shop. I heard it and went over and tried to save as much of your stuff as I could, but a lot got ruined. There’s a hole in the ceiling, the place is flooded. You need to get here.”

Mack cursed under his breath, his heart sinking. How on earth would he muster the money to pay for the damages? He barely made enough to get by as it is. “Okay, I’m on my way now. Thanks Turbo.”

He hung up, reaching a hand to rub his temple.

“What happened?”

Elena was eyeing him with concern, her teasing forgotten.

“We have to head back. A pipe burst.”

Her hand reached out to grip his forearm. “Ay Mack, I’m so sorry.”

Mack mustered a weak smile, reveling in the warmth her hand gave for a moment before standing up. They rushed out of the restaurant and back into his car, Mack driving right at the speed limit until they finally pulled up. A man was standing outside, running his fingers through short, light brown hair. He turned as they pulled into the parking lot, rushing over to them.

“How’s it looking Fitz?”

“Not very good. The cost for fixing that bloody pipe and the hole, not to mention all your equipment that was damaged…” He sighed, shaking his head. “Its a lot, Mack. I don’t know where you can get that kind of money.” Fitz pointed over to a stack of paintings on the sidewalk in front of the store. “That’s all your work that I could save.”

Mack let out a defeated sigh, rubbing his face. “Okay, okay, I’m sure we’ll figure something out, alright? We just have to think.”

Elena’s hand once again grabbed his arm, a soothing and welcome feeling. He looked at her.

“Think we’re going to have to stop lessons for a while. I have to go deal with this, you should head home.”

She nodded slowly before asking for his phone. He frowned, unlocking it and giving it to her. She plugged her number before handing it back, softly saying, “Keep me updated.”

As she drove back home, an idea slowly began to blossom in her mind.

•

Elena: Any news on the cost?

Mack: Pipe’s gonna be $3,000

Mack: Still trying to figure how bad the rest of it is, but the paint’s were pretty expensive

Elena: Have any ideas yet?

Mack: On the total cost? I’d guess anywhere from 5,000 to 7,000 dollars

Elena: I’m sorry

Elena: How are you?

Mack: Trying to handle it.

Mack: Got to go. Meeting with the real estate.

Elena: Good luck!

•

Elena: Hey can you guys put up some flyers for me where you work?

Bobbi: Sure, what for?

Daisy: Elena’s trying to save her boyfriend’s shop

Elena: Not my boyfriend.

Jemma: What happened to his shop?

Elena: Pipe burst

Elena: So can you guys put up flyers or not?

Elena: [image.png}

Jemma: I’ll drop by to get some

Bobbi: ^^^

Daisy: What if we made a website?

Bobbi: What’s this? Is Daisy being helpful and not being annoying for once?

Daisy: Oh I already regret it

Bobbi: Kidding kidding

Elena: A website’s not bad idea actually

Jemma: FUNDRAISING PARTY!!! Tonight at casa Rodriguez/Johnson

Daisy: What have we done?

Bobbi: The demon has been released

Elena: Run for cover

Jemma: I hate all of you

Jemma: Do you want my help or not?

Elena: See you all tonight

Daisy: Piper wants to join so she’s gonna come too

Bobbi: Whipped

Daisy: I’m not the one creating a fundraiser for someone

Elena: Shut up

•

Elena: Can you get Mack away from his shop for a while?

Fitz: Who is this?

Elena: Mack’s friend. Elena Rodriguez. I looked you up, there aren’t very many people with the name Fitz

Fitz: Why do I need to get Mack away?

Elena: I might’ve gotten some money for repairs

Elena: I want it to be a surprise that the shop is fixed

Fitz: How long do you need?

Elena: A couple days so I can get people to clean the place up

Fitz: Consider it done

Fitz: Can I ask why you’re doing all this for him?

…

Elena: He’s a good man

•

Mack headed back to his store, after almost a week away from it. According to Fitz, a group of people needed to make sure the water wasn’t dangerous or filled with chemicals, so he wasn’t allowed in until it was clear.

He pulled up, frowning at seeing all the blinds drawn closed. Fitz, who was standing outside, smiled warmly reached up to pat his shoulder. “Everything’s great. I’m gonna head off though, you go inside and take a look.”

Mack furrowed his brow, heading inside, his eyes widening as the lights flickered on. All the water was gone, the roof fully repaired, the place looking brand new. His eyes fell on Elena sitting casually on top of the counter. He gaped, slowly walking in.

“Wha-how is this even possible? Did you do this?”

She slid off the counter, heading over with a wide grin on her face. “I set up a couple things. Spread word and a lot of people were willing to donate. Paid for the damages.” She held up a thick envelope filled with cash. “This is for the supplies. There’s more money that was donated online.”

He stared, not even knowing how to react. “Elena…this is…wow.”

She nodded, a satisfied smile playing at her lips. “Your days running this shop are far from over, Turtleman.”

“You’re amazing, Elena Rodriguez.” Without warning, he barreled into her, easily lifting her off the ground and into his chest, spinning around.

She laughed, squealing in surprise, and hugged him back, his body wrapping around her.

Eventually, he slowly set her down in front of him, and Elena inhaled deeply. His arms hung loosely around her waist, as if not wanting to let go, and she looked up at him.

“Thank you,” he breathed, much like she had that day on the ledge. That day that was perfect but also so horrible at the end.

They searched each other’s eyes, still not backing away, as if searching for confirmation that they were both feeling this.

This connection.

She didn’t know who moved first, all she knew was that in the next second Mack’s lips were on hers, and nothing ever felt more right.

It was a rush, the most amazing kind of rush that she had been missing all her life. There, in his arms with their mouths connected, she felt complete.

It felt like coming home.

#AoS rarepair exchange 2018 #aosficnet #mackelena #agents of shield #elena rodriguez #Alphonso Mackenzie

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duskadawn · 5 years

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My pre-show top 41

hello clowns! as an indecisive bottom, ranking all 41 entries of this year’s esc into a definitive top was a challenge but I think I’m finally decided on my ranking! read below the cut for clown certified bad takes

the stan list:

1. Greece / Katerine Duska - Better Love

yall already been knew but its Athens 2020 babey! her voice...the lyrics...the chorus....the visuals...the production.........talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, showstopping, spectacular, never the same.......the power it has......the international implications.............god we stan

2. Italy / Mahmood - Soldi

the clapping in soldi is mahmood applauding himself for being That Bitch because god soldi Slaps. probably my favourite italian entry of this decade if not ever. its just gay rights

3. Netherlands / Duncan Laurene - Arcade

if amsterdam 2020 does actually happen it would be so fucking deserved becuase duncan really snapped on this one......he really did that you know what i mean

# Ukraine / Maruv - Siren Song

really wish UA weren’t such clowns because siren song is scientifically proven to smack...it just bangs!

4. Iceland / Hatari - Hatari - Hatrið mun sigra

ok so at first i couldn’t really get behind this because i didnae feel the verses at all but they’ve really grown on me and i appreciate them as part of the package a Lot more now. however if the entire song was as good as the chorus it would undoubtedly be reykjavik 2020 but it be like that sometimes

5. Romania / Ester Peony - On A Sunday

i know the nf was shady but i’m so fucking glad this won over little miss i hate gay people. its just so unqiue and mysterious and moody god i’m so emo x. really hope this is a dark horse this year but i’m Worried

6. Portugal / Conan Osiris - Telemoveis

i don’t entirely get what hes serving but bitch i’ll take it. really appreciate conan’s artistry and the musical diversity hes bringing to the semi and europe better fucking treat him right or there Will be consequences

7. Norway / Keiino - Spirit in the Sky

this is the fun eurovision bop we all deserve this year and i would die for all three of them. also really love the sámi representation!!! take notes sweden

8. Spain / Miki Núñez - La Venda

while I preferred the original to the revamp, i’m also don’t really care because its still the best song spain’s sent since pastora, its just so fun and warm and full of energy and god miki is a lad!! main reason its so high in my top tho is because i want miki to choke m-

9. Albania / Jonida Maliqi - Ktheju tokës

time to put on my clown suit but i preferred the original cut. that bein said jonida maliqi is a queen and ktheju tokës is still the masterful ethnic banger it always was. my crops are really watered well this year. also if this dies because of its running order position i will Snap

10. Armenia / Srbuk - Walking Out

before i even get into the actual tune the piano intro to this song that lasts for a maximum of 5 seconds is better than half of all eurovision songs to date so that’s that. but also the song itself is real powerful and modern and god the last chorus sent my wigs to yerevan immediately. srbuk could step on me and i’d give her the esc trophy

11. Azerbaijan / Chingiz - Truth

im so glad azerbaijan let go of their sweden of the caucuses look because it wasnt a good one but this one really is!! shes serving

12. Malta / Michela - Chameleon

does malta finally deserve rights? maybe so! to me this is the best, most original of this years fuegos i just love that drop. really smacks. hope it looks as good on stage as it does in the mv tho

13. Hungary / Pápai Joci - Az én apám

its not as good as origo but can you really beat perfection? joci may be back but my depression is nowhere to be found

14. Poland / Tulia - Fire Of Love (Pali Się)

best polish entry in a while if not ever. i get why its polarising but to me it just fucking Slaps. feel like storming down the street and robbing a pierogi store. queens. also the bilingualism really works some revamps should really take some notes

15. Belgium / Eliot - Wake Up

this feels like the sequel to city lights and while it may not be as good its still a great installment. the chorus could be more impactful but i still love it we stan the belgian renaissance

16. Slovenia / Zala Kralj & Gašper Šantl - Sebi

at first listen i thought this was one of the flattest, most monotone entries in a while and was completely puzzled as to how it had stans but turns out that was just the live oof. in studio its a really magical tune but im not sure they’re gonna be able to make it work on stage but here’s hoping! also gasper and zala seem really sweet so we stan

17. Latvia / Carousel - That Night

not to be romantic on main, but this song is just one of those that makes you feel like you’re sitting around a campfire staring at stars playing tunes in the wild west you know what i mean? while it may be repetitive as fuck i just really love its chill atmosphere

18. North Macedonia / Tamara Todevska - Proud

i’ve stanned macedonia since 2017 but they always fucking let me down with the staging However this is the dramatic ass female ballad i’m stanning this year and i just feel at home in a clown suit

19. San Marino / Serhat - Say Na Na Na

never in my life did i expect san marino to actually snap this hard. this is genuinely good while still maintaining that san marinese campy charm and i want nothing more than for serhat to be my kind caring uncle. if europe lets him down it will know nothing but Pain

20. Serbia / Nevena Božović - Kruna

we always stan a good balkan ballad. best one in a while and i hope europe treats her right she deserves it after the tragedy that was moje 3

21. France / Bilal Hassani - Roi

at first i was not feeling this song at all but its really grown on me! bilal loaned me his best clown wig and i feel really pretty

22. Cyprus / Tamta - Replay

this one the other hand has very much grown off me. while it slapped at first when most of the songs out were disappointing nf songs, coming straight after fuego it just feels a little stale. kinda wish cyprus had changed it up more rather than go for more of the same. but ill probably be stanning once may 14th comes around because im a clown

these are also good:

23. Ireland / Sarah McTernan - 22

this isnt quite good enough to stan but its still a lovely lil pop song. its gonna get absolutely murdered at esc but its cute

24. Sweden / John Lundvik - Too Late For Love

swedens best entry since 2014 and i guess this is sort of a break from the trend However i still have some issues. it does bop but as always it feels like i’ve heard it all before you know what i mean. It slaps in a completely safe way which is fine but I just want sweden to change it up just Once it’s not asking much

25. Czechia / Lake Malawi - Friend Of A Friend

unstoppable force: friend of a friend slaps and is one of czechias best entries. immovable object: making loOooHrve

26. Australia / Kate Miller Heidke - Zero Gravity

at first the terrible over the top nf staging made me dislike this song a Lot but after I took the time to detach the song from the performance it grew on me a lot. However i still find it a little bit underwhelming but its a nice break from the complete jury bait snores they’ve been sending every year after guy sebastian invented music

27. Russia / Sergey Lazarev - Scream

this is clearly a song made for a live performance and there’s no doubt its gonna do really well with whatever they’re planning for the staging but that’s kind of my problem with it. while good, it feels incomplete. like a lot of it feels like its leaving room for a live performance moment so as a standalone song it feels lacking you know what i mean

28. Belarus / Zena - Like it

this songs fun and catchy you guys are just mean!! yes its basic but that doesn’t mean it can’t bop. I’m not gonna stan but i’m gonna enjoy it. billie eilish is shaking in her boots

29. Switzerland / Luca Hänni - She Got Me

sorry to be heterophobic but i’m not in love with this song. I was never a fan of his discography and while this song is a massive upgrade from his other songs imo, and extremely catchy, it also feels like hes trying so damn hard to convince everyone hes straight you know what i mean. no song with the lyrics ‘getting rowdy rowdy’ deserves 3rd in the betting sorry sisters. i just cant take it seriously but it still bops and when it does well its not gonna be undeserving, i just like a lot of songs more

30. Denmark / Leonora - Love Is Forever

this song is sweet and i appreciate the multilingualism but its also a little too sweet. Its perfectly fine but i just prefer other songs

31. Austria / Paenda - Limits

i don’t actually dislike this but it really is missing something. hopefully that something is in the staging because as it stands its got the elements of a good atmospheric ballad and shes a great singer but it just never reaches any sort of memorable climax

the whelmed list:

32. Lithuania / Jurijus - Run With The Lions

ok so when i first heard this i really was slapping but with every listen it just gets more and more average to me. when i listen to it i feel like i’m underrating it but then immediately i’ve forgotten lithuania’s competing. but honestly this years too strong we in my bottom 10 and i’m still bopping

33. Estonia / Victor Crone - Storm

this isn’t terrible but it really is just an avicii throwaway from 2013. nevermind that there were much better songs in the nf, its just way too safe. I don’t hate it and i can bop to it if i try but at the same time-wait why can i hear a plane oh god oh fu

34. United Kingdom / Michael Rice - Bigger Than Us

why are we always such a disappointment? michael is a legend but when we’re sending a song that sweden outright told it’s entrant to not use, There’s a problem. when we send a song in welsh it’s over for you hoes

35. Finland / Darude ft. Sebastian Rejman - Look Away

like storm this is just a very average piece of edm. it’s not terrible but it’s not great either. eh

36. Germany / S!sters - Sister

this is a song called sister by a group called S!sters, who aren’t even remotely related. that’s all i’ve got to say

these aren’t great:

37. Israel / Kobi Marimi - Home

look i will forever stan kobi for calling out wiwi but i can’t deny that his song is absolute paint by the numbers toilet break. pass

38. Montenegro / D-mol - Heaven

it does sound like a bad throwback to the 90′s but i guess its at least catchy. which is more than i can say about some songs. its kind of ok if im feeling nice

39. Croatia / Roko Blažević

forget about greece. there is no doubt in my mind that croatia’s gonna win for the second time following jacques houdek’s momentous win in kiyv. and no i am not being held at gunpoint

40. Moldova / Anna Odobescu - Stay

this just sounds like a nq from 2010. anna deserves a better song. next

41. Georgia / Oto Nemsadze - Keep On Going

a day or so i decided to listen to this for once and found myself going ‘this ain’t that bad’. just as i was applying my clown makeup, the song finished and I realised that I could not remember a single second.

___

so there it is! that means my qualifiers from each semi are:

Semi 1: Greece, Iceland, Portugal, Hungary, Poland, Belgium, Slovenia, San Marino, Serbia, and Cyprus

Semi 2: Netherlands, Romania, Norway, Albania, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Malta, Latvia, North Macedonia, Ireland

im in danger

#esc 2019 #my top #roast me

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rkrosememories · 5 years

Text

hello everyone, i hope you’re all well. happy rkfifth! five years, that’s a fair portion of time, half a decade in fact! i was contemplating on whether i wanted to write up one of these posts, as i usually do something similar when my own personal anniversary with rookies comes around, but for the sake of this being the big ol’ 5, i’m willing to do it. let’s take a walk down memory lane shall we and see where it all began for little ol’ me ( i got a job interview today, yay! )

i joined the krp community in august 2014, and rookies was one of those rps i considered joining, and a part of me wishes i did. i didn’t though, i found the large size of the roleplay to be somewhat intimidating so i ended up going on to make my own idol themed roleplay; which was fairly successful in its own way! ( r.i.p apollokrp ). but, i did end up meeting steph there, and eventually, i would end up being convinced to join rookies in july 2015; bringing forth my first rk muse, rkseokmin ( that’s dokyeom of seventeen, btw ). he didn’t last for long, and neither did my other two muses rkkyungri ( yes, i roleplayed kyungri prior to this, looking back, she was sort of like rkrose, being from australia and all ) and rksana, who i brought to rookies in july 2015 and december 2015. and now, looking back i don’t really have any strong attachments to these muses, i think i really just brought them in on a whim, and it wouldn’t be until the following year that i truly found my place at rookies.

come may 2016, season three of the mgas had begun and i decided to give rookies another go. damn rp! pulling me in and trying to get me invested! this time round, i brought forth a muse which y’all will definitely be familiar with. rkjuyeon, who was known as rkseo back then. and for anyone newer, that’s rksaercm. it all began with her, my tall dancing gay who had ambitions of idoldom since a young age. she had auditioned with her cousin in a process called the deathmatches ( you guys, if you weren’t around during like ... early 2016, you won’t know the pain of reserving / applying etc. as the old main blog was ancient. anyways, bless the rookies team for keeping everything going for so long ) and she failed to make it through. meanwhile, her cousin ends up winning the whole goddamn program. what a fluke. i did end up dropping her though, although she did return a few months later in september!

and we fast forward to july 2016; enter rkrose. blackpink’s iconic dance practice video was released and instantly fell in love, with one member in particular ( everyone was ranting and raving about lisa, but i couldn’t take my eyes off of the girl with braids in her hair ). that girl, was park chaeyoung, who like me, is a fellow australian! i instantly knew that i had to bring her to rookies, along with rose and keith ( who play lisa and jisoo, and eventually lari would end up completing the rkblackpink lineup that we know today with jennie ). looking back, i don’t really know how i envisioned rkrose to be; i mean, she was signed to royal within her first six months of being at rookies! she won the kt & royal contest, if ya didn’t know! she is probably the muse i am most well-known for, likely for not so good reasons. she’s been through countless “scandals” in her time, things of which are likely both of our faults. i’m not ashamed of her though ( more so of my own actions ). i think she’s a good egg.

when rookies gave us permission to go ahead with third muses, i think we all went a little crazy. i’ve had quite a few third muses, some whom i’m sure i can’t really remember, but rkchangkyun and yugyeomrk come to mind; i’m sure some of you might be baffled to know that i’ve ever actually roleplayed a male before, considering the fact that all i talk about on twitter is girls and girl groups. ah i forgot i did actually bring rkclaudia to rookies, aka moon hyuna. but we come full circle, and in march 2018, we meet rkkyungri, who is my third and final muse at rookies ( unless y’know, y’all wanna open up fourth muses to the public rk, because i’m down for that, i have many stories to share still wink wonk ). she was unlike any of my rookies muses; an ex-idol who failed at achieving her dream the first time round.

so, here we are, december 2018; i’ve given you a rather comprehensive and detailed run down on my past with rookies, muses wise that is, because there is a ton more to talk about. and i shall, because i want to be able to commemorate this special occasion! i think it is healthy to reflect on things that have happened in the past, so we can learn from our mistakes and better ourselves as people and writers. i have had my fair share of negative and positive experiences at rookies, and i think it’s normal to. rookies is a really big place, and people are bound to bump heads and not get along, that’s just human nature. i think that a good portion of my problems at rookies have been because of miscommunication. so new members, please take a leaf out of my book and remember that communication is key! also don’t get swept up in ooc drama and take your problems to the mods! that’s what they’re here for ( and they do an excellent job of it, thank you guys <33 ).

i really am invested in rookies; invested in the plot, the characters and their stories. i think it’s so amazing that we have a place on the internet where things can unfold and happen in real time almost. krp can be so fast-paced and it’s refreshing to see a place like rookies. i don’t think i could ever truly leave rookies behind, well, one day i’m probably going to have to, but that is another thing; rk is always there. rookies has reached five years. five! years! and that is a momentous occasion, because some rps don’t even see five months. as someone who has been an admin countless of times in the past, i have always wondered how rookies withstood the test of time, and now, having been apart of rookies for nearly three years, i think i understand now. many things go into making a roleplay work: the admin team and the members must work cohesively together, and i think we at rookies all do a good job of that.

i have learnt a lot at rookies, and i think i definitely have a lot more to learn and experience. i must say, going into the new year, i really want to work on being more productive. some of you amaze me! replying every week, getting those points! you get that, pal! it’s really, really inspiring, and i want to be more like that. i’m honestly amazed i’ve made it two years at rk, as i’m someone who gets bored easily ( i also have commitment issues to some extent ). there have been countless occasions where i’ve wanted to give up and drop my muses, be it lack of motivation or drama, but the sole fact that i’ve dedicated two whole years to creating these characters is an incentive to keep going. i’ve always loved writing and i love that i have a space to share my creativity, interests and dreams with like minded people! i think that rings true for a lot of other people, but i’m sure y’all have your own reasons for sticking around.

i don’t think a post like this would be complete without some shout outs, but this part for me will probably be lacking, whoops. maybe i can make that another goal of mine. socialise more.

steph ( @jungwooxrk ), thank you for introducing me to rookies and convincing me to join. we’ve been friends since december 2014!?! which feels like a long ass time. you were my first real internet friend and i’m very grateful to of met you. thank you for writing with me and putting up with me!

rose ( @rklisa ), keith ( @rkjisoo ) & lari ( @rkjennie ), rkblackpink is precious and means so much to both me and rkrose. although we don’t talk as much as much as i would like ( or we should??? ) i’m so happy that we’ve got y’all, i hope that our girls can experience many more things together.

shinobi ( @rkkangjoon ) thank you so much for putting up with me. we’ve been through a lot of crap but i’m really thankful that we’re still able to talk despite everything. i hope you know that kangjoon will forever be important to rose, he was her first real boyfriend after all! thank you for putting up with us both! we love you! <33

peach ( @rkhaechan ) i don’t think rkrose would be who she is today without you and the help of jaebum. after a year of depression i think she’s back on her feet though!! toughest 12 months as a writer! but, despite everything we’ve been through, i’m so thankful we’re still able to talk. i also love your new muses, haech is a cutie & i love him very much :((((

lemon ( @rkyena ) aaaaaah i can’t believe i forgot to put you in here, i’m so sorry. thank you sO MUCH for putting up with me and my forgetfullness. i really love seoyoung as a muse and i’m excited to see her grow as an idol! also saeseo?!

nana ( @younghyunrk ) i’m so thankful that i get to talk to you almost everyday!? i feel as though these past few months we’ve been able to get close which is exciting because you are awesome & i treasure you a ton! i’m excited for whats to come in the following months for our muses! hopefully we meet when i fly over your way sometime soon! i love youuu!!! <33

royal and sphere trainees! i would tag you all, but i’ll be here forever. thank you for making me feel included, even if i don’t participate in the group chat! i love our group antics, like photocard swapping, that was fun. thank you for taking care of both me and my girls, rose and saerom. i would like to work on getting closer to y’all!

and our incredible mod team, you know who they are, they know who they are. thank you so much, for everything you do. you guys keep this place safe, happy and running for all of us, all while writing for your own muses and keeping up with real life stuff like work and school?! incredible! amazing! fantastic! thank you for being so accepting and welcoming and supportive. i love y’all a ton and i don’t think this little message truly explains how grateful i truly am. thank you, for all that you do.

i’m sorry if i forgot anyone in particular, i probably did and i’m sorry; i don’t have the greatest memory. just know that i’m grateful for you! even if we’ve never spoken to eachother before! thank you for making rookies the place it is! that being said, i should probably work on wrapping this whole thing up, since it’s getting pretty darn long and i would like to do some things today prior to this job interview i have later ( please send positive vibes, i’m going to need them ; _ ; )

these past two, nearly three years have been absolutely wonderful. i’m bummed i didn’t join rk back in the day but maybe the fact that i joined later was a good thing? i mean, everything happens for a reason right? these years have been hard and tiring but also very exciting and rewarding, and i’m very enthused to see where 2019 takes me and my girls, along with you and your muses! lets work hard and be happy, happy rkfifth everyone <3

- lots of love, from sacha!

#♡ ┋ out of character.#rkfifth

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betterthinkaboutittwice · 5 years

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Andrew’s Top 10 Kpop Title Tracks of 2018

Hello again, it’s me. Yes, I’m still trying to make this a thing. Nobody cared in 2015, then my 2016 list got a decent amount of notes, then that dropped off by a lot for my 2017 list, so we’ll see what happens this time. I hope there’s even a couple folks out there that enjoy reading this, but even if there’s not, I still enjoy putting it together and writing it, so here we are. Quick refresher on how this works, I limit myself to title tracks (and/or songs that have a MV and were promoted), link their MVs, and then give a quick write-up of why I picked them, all listed in descending order from 10 to 1. I’ve changed the name from “Top 10 Songs” to “Top 10 Title Tracks” because I’m thinking of doing a separate list for b-sides or non-Korean releases. On that note, let’s get it; list under the break~

10. KHAN - I’m Your Girl?

The tenth spot on my list is always a dogfight, and my honorable mentions list is always long. This year, the debut song for KHAN (composed of former The Ark members Jeon Minju and Euna Kim) won the fight, and I’m not gonna lie, a solid part of why is based in the gay undertones of this song and MV (and honestly, they’re really not undertones, the lyrics are pretty frank about it). Honestly, though, I just really adore the chemistry Euna and Minju have always had together, and I’m so happy they’re back making music together. I’m Your Girl isn’t the fanciest song out there, but it is a bop and a half and will definitely be one of the songs I think of in future when I remember 2018.

9. gugudan - Not That Type

At spot nine, there was another fight, but it was between songs by the same group. The loser of that song will appear in my honorable mentions later. As for the winner, Not That Type was something I’d been hoping gugudan would do ever since they debuted. Their Produce 101 trio (Sejeong, Mina, Nayoung) have always had a certain sass and badassery about them, and even in previous comebacks you could see the other members had it in them, too. This is the song they needed to let it out, and boy did they. This track and MV had an attitude we don’t see much as of late, and the song managed to have that attitude without seeming try-hard or having an overplayed sound. One particular thing it did that I really liked was how it never entered the chorus the same way or on the same beat, keeping the listener on their toes. All in all, a breakout song for gugudan that had to make my list.

8. IZ*ONE - La Vie en Rose

This song, at number eight on my list, took some growing on me. When it came out, I never pictured it being on my Top 10 of the year. In fact, I didn’t even think I’d listen to it much at all. However, there’s just something about it, something about the chorus, that made it unforgettable to me. It worked its way into my brain and wouldn’t leave. Still to this day it won’t leave. It’s quickly become one of my most-played songs of the year. I followed Produce 48 all the way through, and while I wasn’t entirely satisfied with the final lineup, I must say they’ve really grown on me. Whoever produced this song did a brilliant job, because each member has a part that fits them like a glove, and no one really feels either over or under-exposed (though I could certainly ask for a couple more lines for Nako). Just a very solid song from a dynamic group that deserved to make my list.

7. Sunmi - Siren

Dropping in at spot number seven for the second year in a row is everyone’s favorite lesbian and best follow on twitter, Sunmi. Does she release anything other than bops? I think not. She revealed recently that this song was actually originally a Wonder Girls production, and released a quick snippet of the original recording from WG as a band in 2016. While I most definitely wish we could’ve heard the full group’s take on Siren, I’m glad Sunmi revisited the track and made it her own, ‘cause it’s really a stroke of catchy genius. Get away outta my face! More like get away outta my head. I just could not justify keeping this song off my list, not with how often I find myself subconsciously singing or whistling it.

6. WJSN - Save Me, Save You

Another artist that released multiple jams this year, WJSN comes in at number six. While I loved Dreams Come True, there was just something very special about Save Me, Save You. It felt like they finally nailed their sound again. The last time they truly hit it on the head was with Secret, and it feels like they’ve been trying to get back there ever since. Well, they did it here. This track has exactly that dreamlike quality to it, that beautiful cosmic sound that their name would lead you to expect. Add in nearly properly balanced line distribution (except for Dawon, #JusticeForDawon), and a particularly interesting choreography, and you’ve got a recipe for one of the best songs of the year. With their next comeback on the horizon, I’m hoping they can continue the trend.

5. (G)I-DLE - Hann

IDLE really leapt onto the scene in 2018 with their debut, but it’s their followup effort that makes my list at spot number five. The main thing I can say about IDLE is that, as rookies, they have no business being this good. They’re all incredibly talented, their stage presence is off the charts, and both of their title tracks thus far are certified bops. Rookies don’t do that! Yet, here they are. The chorus of Hann is simply unforgettable, both musically and visually. Vocals, raps, visuals, choreo, this song has everything you could ever want and it has them in spades, which is why it leads off the top half of this list.

4. GFriend - Time for the Moon Night

It wouldn’t be a kpop Top 10 without GFriend on it, and here they are at number four. If you’ll recall, I was probably the world’s biggest fan of their first “different” release, Fingertip, naming it my Song of the Year in 2017. TFTMN arrived as their second effort at a more mature concept, and I think they really killed it here. Not only is this track a more mature GFriend, but it is also still very distinctly GFriend. For their entire career, these girls have had a sound all their own, and TFTMN proved unequivocally that they can maintain their signature sound while striding into new conceptual territories, and for that alone it would make my Top 10 of 2018. It certainly isn’t hurt by the fact that the chorus is incredibly memorable, the melancholy-yet-upbeat tone is right up my alley, and the choreo is dope as hell.

3. fromis_9 - Love Bomb

The song that made me fall all the way in love with what is now essentially my second bias group comes in at number three. Honestly, I was actually expecting this to be my Song of the Year for 2018, but a couple other songs reminded me who’s boss. That’s to say nothing against Love Bomb, of course. I mean, imagine a single song making you fall head-over-heels in love with a group whose names you didn’t even know! Going into this release, I legitimately only knew Gyuri (from Produce 48) and Jiwon (way back from SIXTEEN). Now, a couple months later, I know them all better than I ever thought I would. As for the song, this is honestly one of the happiest songs that came out this year. By that I mean that it never fails to put me in a good mood. There’s just something truly special about this song. Moreso even than the song, it’s the girls’ singing; they have a way about them, where they always seem to put feeling into how they deliver lines. I can feel this song, and it wouldn’t change that even if there were no instrumental included; their singing is so incredibly emotional, it’s just special.

2. Chungha - Roller Coaster

The earliest release to make it on my list this year, coming in at number two is one of the bops of a great month of January, Roller Coaster by Chungha. I’ll be honest, this song really had a good argument for being #1 on the list. If producers went into the studio and said “we need to make the perfect song for Andrew,” this is what would’ve come from it. It’s funny, actually, because if you go back to when this was first released, I was lukewarm on it, but now it’s one of my most-listened to songs. The song has nearly every musical element that I love; it’s got that retro sound, those good synths, a gorgeous voice, upbeat, catchy, great choreo. I couldn’t ask for any more, other than to have her do more songs in this style because she absolutely kills it.

1. Red Velvet - Bad Boy

January was truly a great month for kpop songs, and Red Velvet’s Bad Boy has stood the test of time, making it all the way from January to year-end to claim the title of my Song of the Year for 2018. As I said when Bad Boy dropped, “Well fuck. Good luck, literally everyone else. I don’t see this being passed up as my song of the year for 2018.” Here we now stand, and that holds true. I said that Roller Coaster is the perfect “me” song, and it is. Bad Boy, though, is the perfect “me” song for my other main love in kpop; laid-back R&B. Everyone always seems to love the Red side of their music more, but I’ve always been about the Velvet side, and Bad Boy really gave me the perfect Velvet song. It’s everything I ever wanted from Red Velvet, and I’m not sure they’ll ever pass it up for me.

We’re at the end! As always, if you’ve read to this point, I love you, I thank you, and bless you. I’m not a professional writer or music critic, but I love putting together this list every year, and even if only one person reads it and finds it truly interesting, then it was worthwhile. I’m very proud of this list and the work I put into it, and I just hope y’all enjoy it. I began this list on January 1st, but it is now the 2nd (this seems to be a theme for me with this). That said, I wish you all a happy new year, and here’s to another great year of kpop!

Honorable Mentions

MOMOLAND - Bboom Bboom, gugudan - The Boots, CLC - Black Dress, Jeon Soyeon - Idle Song, J-Hope - Daydream, NCT 127 - Touch, DAY6 - Shoot Me, TWICE - Dance the Night Away, SNSD-Oh!GG - Lil’ Touch, Oh My Girl - Remember Me, TWICE - Yes or Yes, Yubin - Thank U Soooo Much, MAMAMOO - Wind Flower

#KHAN #gugudan #IZ*ONE #Sunmi #WJSN #IDLE #GFriend #fromis_9 #Chungha #Red Velvet #Andrew's Top 10 #kpop #personal

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kurtty-drabbles · 5 years

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Healing au (part2)

N/A: Do not mess up with Zaorva and don´t make MILF jokes with her...Sorry, that article was gold. OCS will be used. And the Harem won´t be that important.

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling @sailorstar9 @discordsworld @look-ma-no-hands336

The Harem has 5 princesses now and life as well, the princess of the family Blanc made a profit with war and agree with a treat with a very important kingdom. It´s lucrative to everyone, and the best part, they did all this in Zaorva´s name.

Kurt is not religious even though he has a cult dedicated about himself, no, but the idea of having a Zaorvaian in his harem did make him side eyes, however, expel someone who workship HER may be a tad bit stupid.

(Kurt sweat cold when the name Zaorva is mentioned and he knows, too well, how Zaorva can be ruthless. Life can be a bitch and Kurt does not wish to tempt her anger)

Of course, his efforts to make Zaorva ignore his presence was cut short when a fire smoke presents on his palace and Venus, HER Herald, appear carrying her master´s fury.

Venus points her finger to the princess of the family Blanc with a vengeance as her eyes are showing the primordial fire, HER fire. " You and your family committed a Genocide in the name of my lady? She hear, she saw and knows everything and I´m here to deliver her punishment to you" her tone has a cold tone that matches with her fire-ish presence.

Fire engulfed the princess burning to ashes and this was in front of everyone. Kurt is there watching the woman turning into ashes, no, she didn´t even turn to that...the primordial fire is something else. Something that Kurt will never conjecture.

Venus now points her finger to Kurt. "You!" she strolls at him with HER fury and now Venus´s eyes are crystal blue and Kurt can only shiver and sweat cold as SHE is talking to him. "You! This is also your fault, the family burned and destroyed a kingdom to please you and me, I´M NOT PLEASE" her tone is deadly and Kurt is gulping hard and loudly. "Your punishment will be to fix that. There´s no life in that place, nothing...you´ll make life there" and Kurt can feel her presence squeezing his form "I´m not talking about necromancy...you´ll build a kingdom as lively and bright as before"

Venus´s eyes are back to her fire presence, but, she still is pointing at Kurt with a displeased face. "Kurt Wagner, you have a mission from my Lady, fail and we´ll eat your flesh" she promised.

"But...I´m a conquer...I know nothing about making a kingdom" Kurt has the guts to speak even if is in a low tone. Venus does not appear to show mercy to him, yet, she is giving this advice. "Go to the central city, look for a healer named Bob, he´ll help you"

And Venus leaves in the same way she enrols in the harem. Fire and smokes and fear are present in the court and Kurt has to stop his world domination.

___________________________________________________________________

Kitty is dressed up as Bob, a healer that is working work for the evil necromancer, she knows the man is often in need of healers. She was sure that getting the job would complex and full of the interview.

When the necromancer strolls in the bar looking for Bob, Kitty is surprised how quickly she got the job. "Congratulations, Bob, the healer, you´ll work for me...and for Zaorva"

"Yes!" Bob said. Kurt is bemused.

_________________________________________________________________________

Kurt has many minions who do his dirty work, of course, no one is as good as him, however, the latest excuses for failures is grinding his nerves. "Let me guess, your excuse will be" Kurt fake pondering "Oh right, a mysterious healer shows up and magically knock you out?!" Kurt is bemused.

His last student is nodding saying that the healer has abilities he never saw before, Kurt is not pleased. "And this healer defeat all of you?" Kurt asked once again noticing how some of his students are still in pain.

Bob is working with Kurt, the first step is to make sure the soil is fertile and is watching the situation unfolds. Kurt´s zombies appear and Kurt´s gaze is on his last student. "Now, in my eyes or this mysterious healer is that powerful and a threat to me or my lazy student is making a lie, which one is the truth" his smile is cruel and Bob knows what will happen, so, bravely so Bob speaks.

"Wait, I know the healer, she´s from Zaorva cult, the first of her name and a force to be reckoned "Bob speaks in a modest tone "they are speaking the truth, they have to meet Shadowcat"

Kurt sends his zombies away and is pondering, now, this is different. "Bob, tell me more about this healer, please?"

"Oh, fine, only because you´re asking politely"

___________________________________________________________________

Bob is a hot topic for people inside the harem and outside as well, the man is often lurking around and looking for something, one of the ladies thought the man wanted an excuse to be with her, sadly for her, that´s not the case.

"So, he does not have the spear?" Bob mutters and now is thinking about her next movie, suddenly, Kurt shows up with great news.

Is the spear?!

"I know her name!" Kurt exclaimed with the confidence of having a real confidant. Bob is making his usual face(no glamour, only a good disguise) as Kurt is talking about the healer, making Bob sweat now "her name is Katherine Anne Pryde, healer of the Zaorva, the first of her name, the only daughter of Cameron and Teresa Pryde and" he gives a wild grin making Bob sweat even more "she´s immortal"

"How did you know that?" Bob asked in a cool way.

"I´ve my ways, Bob" and leaves as Bob realizes this is a far complex cat-mouse game, meanwhile, Kurt is paying at the detective for getting the basic of the necromancer, even her image.

_______________________________________________________________________

Kitty is using her white robes as she´s healing one person in the road, of course, she's not surprised to see Kurt Wagner as well looking at Kitty as she finishes her proceed.

"So, you´re the sweet healer that has been in my way?" Kurt asked in a leery way but the threating part is lost on Kitty as the man continues "doe eyes and a gentle heart, yes, are you."

"Are you insulting or compliment me? " Kitty asked wittily and Kurt only replies. "Sweet healer, don´t cross with me" and Kitty couldn´t help by adding "Well, I´m not crossing you, I´m here on the middle of the road, but the road is big enough...you can walk without any problem"

Kurt bites his lips and says he´ll be looking for her and leaves. Kitty is sure this is the most complex cat-mouse game ever. Meanwhile, Kurt has no idea why he has the need to compliment this healer.

_________________________________________________________________________

Bob has trouble as Kurt likes to talk about the healer and his confusing feelings about her. "She´s a worthy rival" and Bob nods and then Kurt asked, "Bob, are you gay?"

"No, bi and no, no interest in any woman in the harem" Kitty speaks as the new houses are being built and refugee from wars can stay on the land.

"I see, I just ask to know, whatever you swing hope the person is worthy of your time...you´re a good friend Bob" and Bob is sweating feeling guilt.

"Thanks, you´re a strange boss but I can´t say I hate to work with you" The reply is sincere and Kitty knows she needs to end Bob or else...

"Ok, wanna see my new fanart of the Healer? She has beautiful eyes and the fluffiest hair ever" Kurt declares and somehow Bob is blushing, thankfully, Kurt did not saw.

___________________________________________________________________

The Kingdom is ready, a capital city and common cities to fill the space. The commerce is thriving and Kitty is amused at how Kurt take his job seriously, Bob, was finally killed as Bob wanted to be with his husband and kids.

A party is being thrown as dance and music are being rung loudly, the new kingdom will remain and the young ones have a bright future at their front, suddenly, Kitty is taken by a group dance and her small hands are intertwined with blue ones.

"Hello, Evil Necromancer" she speaks easily.

"Hello, sweet healer" he responds still dancing with her. There´s an old saying that goes like this, keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer. Of course, there´s no saying on dancing with your "enemy" but Kurt just concluded a task for Zaorva and is alive so who will question him? ___________________________________________________ Zaorva watches the scene as Venus is thrown some suggestion. "Maybe, we should tell who Bob is...He never connected the dots and Kitty is terrible with glamours"

"She´ll tell when she´s ready, she feels guilt and is confused about her feelings with this necromancer and Kurt is not very smart with his feelings" Zaorva speaks sincerely.

"And you never get confused about your feelings for IT?" Venus asked.

"No, sometimes, IT can be an asshole, but, I love IT very much...even an asshole"

Meanwhile, as IT is dealing with his Heralds and ITS changes his mood for better. Not that will help his Heralds very much.

#healing au #kurtty #zaorva ship it #kurt wagner #evil wizard kurt #kitty pryde #kurt is the worst detective ever #No more Bob #Young EW Kurt does not know about the BOB THING #and will be mad when he does #Kurt has trouble in dealing with his feelings

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thotyssey · 6 years

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On Point With: Robyn Banks

A drag performer, recording artist and truly independent spirit, New York-born Robyn Banks is a queen who plays by her own rules. A lover of performing, she’s someone we’re going to be seeing--and hearing--for some time to come!

Thotyssey: Robyn, hello! Thanks for talking to us! So, DragCon has come and gone... did you partake?

Robyn Banks: Yasss! I went for Day Two as well as Day Three. Day Two was AMAZING! I also was there with Drag Queen Story Hour, so that made it even more special.

You’re a Story Hour queen?

Yes. I just actually had my one year anniversary with them.

Congratulations! They've done great work with exposing kids to both gender fluidity and literacy. Isn't it great to do important things as a queen besides just entertaining folks in bars all the time?

I really enjoy it. It’s one of those things where you really get to see how smart children are. Every time I do a reading, I am just either amazed or super emotional. I actually enjoy when I have a reading, and then a bar gig in the same day.

We have some bar gigs to talk about! But first, let's get the background on you! Where are you from, and what were you like as a kid?

I was born and raised in Harlem, New York. As a child, I was always very outgoing. I wanted to be on TV so bad, so I would do and say things from shows such a Buffy, Saved by the Bell, Charmed, etc.

I had a really good childhood. I hated being active, though... the thought of hurting myself was the scariest thing ever. So I never rough-played with the boys--always played Double Dutch or hopscotch with the girls.

My teenage years, I went to Harvey Milk High School, which at the time was an all-gay high school (now it’s an alternative school). I discovered drag there, and was always in the halls filming things with my flip cam. I graduated school president. Then I went to college for early childhood education. So, working with children is something I’ve always wanted to do!

Were you always musical?

Yes. So my mom plays a ton of instruments, and my dad is still a DJ. My mom taught me the beauty of hearing music, and taking a song apart and just hearing everything about a song individually. I was obsessed with Mad TV, and I loved when they did music video parodies. And I wanted to do just that. I was always funny. And I was always able to make up a random song on the spot!

How exactly did drag come into your life?

When I was in high school, I was asked by a dance teacher to fill in for a Tina Turner number... and I was handed a wig and a black dress! After the show, I was told how I had really nice legs (something i had been told my whole life). I was then told that I should do drag, but I had no idea what it really was yet.

The school was having its first “Miss Stars Pageant,” and my friends all said I should do it. I figured, hey, I love to dance and act a fool, but over all just entertain, so why not? I did a number. My friends backup danced for me. We had to incorporate a safer sex message into it, so I made a evening gown out of condoms and I won!

I saw you also recently wore a gown adorned with MetroCards... do you often use found or used objects to make your looks?

Actually, no. I just try to go big for big events. The MetroCard gown was something I wanted for the first DragCon, but I knew the cards wouldn’t fly well since DragCon was in LA. I saved all those MetroCards for three years. I try to think outside the box and use interesting things to make a big statements. I have no idea what I’m doing next year!

I’m sure it’ll be extraordinary! So, there are a few other Robyn Bankses out there... have you had to duke it out with any of them yet?

No, they don’t want it! Just kidding. No, I’ve never met one. But I was recently at a bar and met a queen, and she’s like “Damn, you came all the way out here from Colorado?” And I’m like, “No, I live in Harlem.” I then looked up that Robyn Banks, and it was an older white woman! And I was asked by a person if I used to be a stripper. Googled her, and it was a big booty African American woman named Robyn Banks that was a stripper! God I wish I had her body!

It only takes a few pillows! Were you / are you a regular of the weekly competitions like Star Search, Drag Wars and Look Queen?

I was introduced by Vitani to Drag Wars about two years ago, and that year I was there faithfully. And then I was there about two weeks ago, and it has changed a lot. And I love that there’s just so many new faces! I’ve never done Star Search, and I did Look Queen back in June and won. So that was fun.

I love those compilations, but I don’t know... I realize I just enjoy performing, acting a fool, just being me. There’s so much pressure when it comes competitions. But there are a few thoughts in my head about possibly doing a few next year!

So you are actually part of NYC drag history... you were the last queen hired to host a weekly show at Boots & Saddle Drag Lounge!

OMG, yes! I was.

You had a weekend happy hour show for the last few months of that bar’s existence. What was that whole experience like for you?

It was amazing. Honestly, it was also a lot of work. I give it to the girls who have more then one weekly show. That was my very first one. The first month, I was so confident... like,”I got this, I can do it.” But to entertain for two hours... it was a lot. I was used to just doing a 3-5 minute song. I learned a lot from doing that, and I’m forever grateful to Robert for giving me that chance, and to DJ T-Boy for really guiding me through the first month.

You’ve said that doing that show helped you fund the making of your album Jawbreaker. When did you start writing those songs?

I started writing for the album mid-2016. I went to film a show which was then canceled, and then I went through a breakup after being in my first adult relationship. So then I took a break, and in 2017 started writing. But it was super depressing, and my producer was like, “Nah you can have one song on there like that, but you gotta use that fuel to write bangers.” So we scrapped all 7 songs and started over. Doing the show and starting to be In the drag world helped me see what people were dancing to and enjoying. Originally, I wanted to call Jawbreaker “La Discotek,” but there wasn’t enough dancie songs on it.

What was this canceled show you were involved in?

It was a reality show for MTV called Last Square Standing we made back in March of 2016. And then when we got back a week later they canceled it, only to revise it. It had one season, and then it was canceled officially. That was, like, the third show I had that was canceled!

Wait, third!?

Yeah, I did a MTV show in high school called Dissed. They showed the first three episodes, and then it was canceled! But they sent it to me on DVD.

Wow, MTV sucks!

Yeah, lol! I really want Big Brother. I auditioned for it three times--once in drag, before Courtney did for Big Brother UK. So, we’ll see!

Do you have a favorite track from Jawbreaker?

Oh, God! Well, I honestly love “Karma,” cuz it was something I wrote about my ex. I had told my producer the story [behind the song]. and he said it needed to be a trap song. I had never done trap music, so “Karma” is also the song that I struggled with the most out of my whole discography. But I love it even more that Lola Michele-Kiki is on the remix!

That’s going to be available soon... the remix track with Lola and its video.

Yes, we shot the video along with a ton of other NYC drags back in August and September. I’m just waiting for iTunes and a few other [downloading platforms] to approve the single (or maxi-single) to finally give it a release day! Meanwhile, I’m hoping for a GLAM this year for my single “Back It Up,” and then go for another with the "Karma” video!

What was the most surprising thing for you about the recording process?

How good I sound. Let tell you something: producers are the way of the world. When I recorded this album, I didn’t want it to seem like I was another drag doing music. I did music as a boy under “Manny Montag,” so I was excited when I record my first album Robyn cuz I got to do music, parodies and drag. If I played you the demo I got for “Karma,”you would be like, whoah! That why I’m also a fan of a capella, cuz it’s just amazing what a producer can do with your vocals. Just ask Lola, lol!

Werk! Any ideas for future recordings?

I originally wanted to extend Jawbreaker into a deluxe, but I’m just now really getting into dance music. Plus, I enjoyed working with all the NYC girls during the video shoot, that it’s given me an idea. I stared working on new stuff. I felt like Jawbreaker was an intro into who Robyn Banks is. But the next album... she did not come to play! I will tell you that the name of the next project is Drag Mafia.

youtube

So, onto a serious topic for a moment... we’re in the middle of a shitstorm right now with The Manhattan Monster Bar dealing with outraged pushback from the nightlife community after some racist policies of management have been exposed (specifically, the general manager made a comment in a text about how the black dancers featured in an event poster should be replaced with “beautiful” ones in order to minimize black patrons). What are your thoughts about all of this? How should the Monster make this right, if that is even possible at this point?

Well, I pride myself in belong a black drag queen. And I am always excited to see my black sisters of color doing the damn thing. So first, shout out to Honey for exposing them. But also, shout out to Zarria for getting that spot at the new Boxers. I feel like this: there aren’t enough black drags out here that are really booming, and really making that stand.

Don’t get me wrong... I’m in love with all different types of people--age, skin color, types of drag. However, there needs to be more of us having a shit ton of shows per week. I’ve been begging a certain bar owner for two years for my own one night, and all I get is “we’re booked...” But there’s a ton of new girls who ask, and BOOM they get it. And I have yet to see a black girl have there with her own show at this venue. It just sucks, cuz at the end of the day we all just wanna entertain people, but also have our craft be taken seriously.

So for the issue at the Monster, I feel that the black community wasn’t taken seriously. Now, the owner said sorry and the general manager has been removed. But where’s the apology to Honey? To the black dancers? To the BLACK community? I’m sure The Monster isn’t going anywhere. But my mom used to go, and she said at one point about 70 percent of it was filled with ethnic people. Like, even RuPaul pops in there randomly!

Yes! They definitely don’t seem to understand who their patrons actually are. Disgraceful! We can only wait and see if they will be able to recover from this.

In the meantime... you have some gigs coming up at Stonewall, starting with... Sucia’s birthday show this coming Sunday!

Yes, I’m super excited about it! She is a good Judy. We often get ready together, and kiki... it’s fun. She helped with the "Karma” video. She shot and directed my music video for “Back It Up,” and she has a movie, Neon Boys, coming out next month.

Then I’m [back at Stonewall on Saturday, October 13th] with Ari Kiki for Riot...

[... and back to Stonewall on Sunday] with Catrina Lovelace for her first Invasion...

I also have a few Drag Queen Story Hour readings this month, as well as our second annual fundraiser event. So, October is busy! And here I thought I’d be able to grow my beard out! Also,the "Karma” song will drop this month, the remix will follow it next month, and the dance remix video will drop on New Years!

Congratulations and have fun with it all! What are you gonna be for Halloween?

Aye, I don’t know yet. I feel like with drag, it’s always Halloween. But I just got my own apartment last month, so I think I’ll take this year to just stay home with my dog, watch some movies, and just have some Me Time. I know I do have a DQSH reading that morning, so maybe I’ll be a cute bumblebee or something kid friendly.

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to celebrate Halloween. I didn’t really celebrate 'til 2016 after my breakup, when my friends dragged (haha, drag) me out to have fun. I don’t know, maybe my mind will change.

Werk! Anything else?

My favorite Halloween song is "The Monster Mash,” and my favorite Christmas song is "Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree,” so I’m trying to get the rights to re-record those, lol!

A busy musical bumblebee indeed! Thank you, Ms. Banks!

Check Thotyssey’s calendar for Robyn Banks’ upcoming appearances, and follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and YouTube. Also, purchase her music on iTunes. On Point Archives

#onpointwith #robynbanks #Robyn Banks

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kadyshackkk-blog · 6 years

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Final Reckoning Episode One Review plus a little info from seasons past.

Hello World! Mtv’s Hit The Challenge Returned Tuesday July 10, 2018 at 9pm! This season is “the end of the challenge as we know it”. Which as of right now I’m calling total b.s. since well mtv the last few season has been “recreating” older seasons ie; The Challenge Invasion of the champions, a very sad and terrible attempt to recreate the iconic The Ruins. Then we went into Dirty 30, the longest season in existence and a horrible rip off of Free Agents which in my opinion was the last great season of the show. In the dirty 30 we had something called the purge aka lets fuck Darrell over and allow a bunch of idiots to run the show. Yes I am still bitter because Darrell was robbed out of a title that season and instead our winners were a racist and an anti feminist douche lord, I mean Camila and Jordan. Then we slide into Vendettas after that tragic second season of Champs V stars, which we won’t even talk about since it was a bunch of d list celebrities who i didnt even know and well the terrell owens aka the biggest bitch in the nfl. Moving along, on Vendettas we received a much needed invasion of new people from big brother and mtv uk! Be warned I have never watched mtv Uk shows or any big brother so I had zero idea who these people were but I was excited to see them! We also got from season 5 of are you the one Kam, Eddie, and Alicia. I loved that season of ayto and the people they chose to come onto vendettas made total sense. But what didn’t make any sense at all was the poor get rid of eddie they did. Now I will only say this once and the source that told me this is very credible since he was on their season of ayto he also doesn’t like either person involved however he dislikes eddie more. Simple fact is Alicia Lied, plan and simple. There was never a restraining order or anything of that nature. You can look it up online its public information in every state. Moving on from that, the additions from the uk were all very attractive, and before you gasp and say even Kyle?! Yes even Kyle , I feel like he looks better in person then he does on tv. The fights that season we’re beyond annoying . This was my face anytime Kailah or nicole spoke or were on my tv screen

I give them both a chance every season they are on but they always make me regret giving said chance. The luggage throwing incident pissed me the fuck off. & Before you all go WeLL cArA dID iT To JOrdAn guess what she put a waterproof bag of his clothes in water omg get over it. Jemmeye Kailah & Britni Ganged up on kayleigh because of a rumor about her and bananas that Devin started to get Johnny thrown into elimination. It was not okay, it is never okay to touch someone elses belongings ever. I do not care, her stuff was broken and none of the actual apologized for it.

Now for what you came for my review of the Challenge Final Reckoning Episode 1

First off I was hoping this season was a team season sadly it was just a rip off of the Rivals series which was only decent for rivals 1 and 2. Rivals 3 was ridiculous and a waste of time and energy. In the beginning we see everyone show up and Tj is all like guess what your partner is buried and you have to find them! oh and the last two teams will be sent home ending their time in south africa. Me as a view knowing damn well tj is full of shit

We see Zach dig up his partner Amanda first. Listen I was very excited to hear that Amanda was coming back this season! I really was until all the twitter beef with cara, and unless you’ve been living under a rock you know exactly what I am talking about. (hint him and amanda won the challenge wooooooooh)

Here is everyones partnerships.

Zach & Amanda; Their beef seems a little forced since it’s about Amanda “making up” lies about jenna that even jenna confirmed was true. This team will go far if Zach learns how to work well with women.

Angela & Faith; I honestly don’t understand their beef, really over tor’i really. irrelevant ass team. Angela doesn’t have that same energy she did with Alicia when it comes to Shane and Kam. They won’t go far unless someone (cough cough angela sleeps with someone in power, pulling a veronica in the ruins when she hooked up with my favorite toothbrush twin evan.)

Dj Bald I mean Brad & hair plugs pathological liar I mean kyle; THIS TEAM MAKES ZERO SENSE YALL DEADASS MADE SOME SHIT UP. UHM HELLOOO DARRELL TAYLOR DID NOT WHOOP THAT ASS ON THE RUINS FOR ZERO REASON. Like mtv please stop calling kyle , he literally makes me want to stab him daily.

Cara & Marie; Listen these two have serious dislike for each other over a fucking tweet cara liked & it makes sense they are together. I honestly think this team will do well if Marie Actually fucking tries which i think she will. Tbh marie did campaign to be caras Partner.. However I feel like we as viewers deserved a coral cara team. Those two are both very strong women who need to work out their issues and become civil because I personally love them both.

Ct & Veronica; An og team, ct called v weak but she won more daily challenges then the majority of the girls on dirty 30 . A team to actually fear if they try and win

Derrick & Tori; Yasssss my boo derrick is back!!!!!! Don’t tell tyler but i adore derrick and think hes amazing. I really like tori as well but her taste in men is just as questionable as mine. Back story tori cheated on derrick with jordan. therefor they don’t like each other.

Bananas & ??? : THIS LITERALLY COULD BE ANYBODY. I’m hoping its sarah so he can break his curse and retire because honestly no one can touch his record unless Landon came out of retirement or if production doesn’t keep fucking over darrell

Joss & Sylvia the sheep; Joss is Hot , and he voted sheep into the elimination and she got mad. damn well knowing she would’ve done the same thing. they do great.

Kam & Melissa; I love this team, this “rivalry” started over a misunderstanding I’m hoping they do well...

Natalie & Paulie; I don’t care enough to waste my time

Nelson & Shane; I’m actually started to like nelson, my dislike for him comes from my loyalty to tyler.. I love shane he is the sassy gay bff that I need in my life. This team will do well if nelson and shane both keep themselves in check

Mama Day & Jozea; I’ve never watched big brother but this team is by far my favorite big brother pairing, I follow both on twitter and they make me laugh daily. underdogs i stan

Britni & Chuck; The hotmess express team. Clearly still feelings there, chuck sucks for what he did to her, they will need to find a way to get past their issues

Jenna & Jemmeye; One of the best moves in challenge history caused this feud. they will do well, jemmeyes brain and jennas brawn.

Kailah & Kayleigh; Failah likes to bully others kayleigh was her victim last season. they’ll probably be out pretty early..

Now to the results of the challenge

Amanda and Zach won.

I’m not to sure about the rest of the order except for the fact Day & Jozea came in last but before jem & Jenna and Chuck & britni.

it was chucks fault him and brit lost

it was jennas fault her and jem lost

but was anyone really in shock

So then we hear bananas yelling for help since his partner left due to family emergency everyone goes digs him up and if it was up to me he wouldve been sent “home” and not brit and chuck since they almost beat day and jozea.. after they get bananas hoe ass out tj announces that amanda and zach are able to send another team home! And out of all the teams these two dumb asses pick day and jozea. like uhm helllooooooo!!! ya’ll deadass had the chance to send send strong teams home... I can’t the stupidity of these two i can’t. SO then the three teams leave and “go home”. Everyone goes to the house and already a fight breaks out between shane and angela, over a fucking shelf. Homegirl didn’t have the energy with shane like she did with Alicia , but we already knew she was a fraud. Then cut to outside where Joss and amanda are already flirting with each other. I will give credit is due, Amanda is a beautiful girl but has a very ugly soul and joss is very smart to hookup with her, camera time is everything and why not hook up with one of the most dramatic cast members ever. Cut to Syliva saying this could go great for her alliance or terribly for her alliance at least shes smart. The Que the amanda and joss makeout session. Then we cut to bananas cara and hair plugs talking about cara and kyle. Everything out of kyles mouth is a lie and garbage. Kyle states hes gonna sleep with other people and caras like cool whatever . The cut to faith and hairplugs making out, then faith gets into hottub and johnny being johnny brings it up in front of cara, and cara pulls a queen move by being like if he doesnt want me im not gonna wait around. boy bye best choice shes ever made. Then baby girl proceeded to go into a room and make herself look bad by trying to get at paulie. Like oh no baby what is you doing go to sleep and leave him alone..

Then we cut to the best part of the night in my opinion, first we see melissa walk in and try to be civil with kailah, failah wants zero part in it but melissa still tries because melissa wants to be nice then failah pushes melissa and melissa molly whopped her then they were pulled apart

Everyone but kailah stans on twitter

Then the teams who were “sent home” arrive at the redemption house and tj explains some shit i wasn’t paying attention because i didnt care at that point

Then they go to the photoshoot day and Tj shows up which is never good..

Tells melissa and kailah they are both out ..

Now we dont know kam and kayleighs fate, we find out next week..

Over all this episode was awesome , the cliffhanger was needed , we had a fight some hook ups and a twist.

this season will be interesting to say the least.

#mtv the challenge #final reckoning

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