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sweetsungie · 3 years ago

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the silence between two special songs | h.j | part 2

pairing: souncloud! jisung x reader (ft. dancer! hyunjin)

genre: college au, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, angst, mature content, fwb, mutual pining, unrequited love, rapper jisung, english major reader

series: the silence between two special songs

word count: 17k

warnings: cursing, fluff, angst, smoking, marijuana use, making out, attempt of a fake relationship, suggestive (if you squint), jisung is going through a lot, yn is oblivious, feels upon feels

synopsis:

falling in love with someone was one of the best and worst things a person could do. you’d remember the first time your heart skipped a beat at the sound of their voice and how perfectly their lips fit into yours. you’d remember how they encapsulated every single fiber being within you that you could no longer breathe when you were around them; likewise, you didn’t want to.

you’d remember all the good things about them.

but then you’d remember the first time it ached knowing that they cared about you, but not enough. how they loved you, but not the way you wanted them to.

not the way you wanted hyunjin to.

and not the way jisung wanted you to.

•°. *࿐

a/n: i spent way too much time writing this haha. i really liked the end product tho so a win is a winnnnn ;)

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

comment to be a part of the taglist <3

masterlist

series playlist

It all started out as a crush.

You know, the kind where you like like someone. Sometimes, if you were lucky, you’d get a kiss on the cheek on the playground. It’d start out with a sweet, innocent, slightly awkward crush. Playgrounds eventually became basements and games of spin the bottle.

Jisung hoped to land on you. Eventually, it did, but he didn’t get anywhere near your lips. He’d laugh it off, the both of you saying, “Gross, spin it again.” He would put on a facade even though he wanted to give you one of the sloppiest kisses ever, not knowing where to place his hands right in front of everyone.

In the mind of a fourteen-year-old, fresh into high school, he’d hoped that after the sloppy kiss, you’d both confess that you had liked each other a lot. He’d expect the two of you to grow nervous and not do anything about it, though.

By grade ten, he’d properly ask you out. He’d bring you orange tulips from his mother’s garden one morning because those were your favorite. He’d hold your hand, hug you, and tell you that you were so pretty that sometimes he needed to look away. And soon after you’d got together, the both of you would’ve started to get an understanding of the whole kissing thing.

By grade eleven, he’d figured out where to place his hands, and he would hold you gently like you were his world, and he didn't want to break you. Then you’d look at him smiling and laughing, your heart filled with love, thinking, “Yes, I choose him. He is my person."

By senior year, you’d begun to love each other, and it was gentle, almost artful, like a flower blooming. Aside from himself, you knew everything about him as he did you. What you both liked, what you both hated, what you both loved. You found comfort in each other for so many years. It felt right.

And by the end of college, you’d both gotten so used to each other that it was crazy. It was crazy how you’d become one person in two separate bodies. You were his world. Kisses became more passionate, and your love became an unstoppable fire.

In the mind of a fourteen-year-old, fresh into high school, Jisung started imagining his whole life with you.

Once the weekend ended, you found yourself already dreading the start of the next week.

Waking up in the mornings had to be one of the top ten worst parts of your days, and although you were well into the semester by now, it didn't make it any easier. You couldn't help yourself that you just weren't a morning person.

Your day consisted of everything you were used to normally… except the fact that you flunked your literature quiz. You were pretty bummed about that. But, despite your disappointment, the day had gone by fast, and soon you found yourself walking beside Hyunjin and Felix toward the dance studio.

As ridiculous as it sounded, you’d hoped that Minho would take it easy today because you felt so mentally drained, but he didn't. Today really proved itself to be a shitty day.

Throughout practice, you couldn't understand why it felt like you had two left feet. Nothing was sticking, you kept zoning out, and your memory and coordination sucked. Why were you struggling so much? Your mind felt so cloudy.

You kept repeating the conversation with Jisung. There was no way he took everything seriously, right? You saw each other throughout the rest of the weekend, and yeah, maybe you both made a few jokes about it randomly. But that was it.

A joke.

It was all a big joke and you were waiting for him to tell you that too. You waited and waited for him to knock on your bedroom door—even to just burst right through it and tell you how absolutely crazy that plan was. But he never came, so you kept telling yourself instead, until it suddenly didn't feel like one anymore.

By now, dance practice had ended fifteen minutes ago, and nearly everybody had cleared out of the studio. After your lackluster performance, you decided to stay a little longer.

Were you really going to get intimately involved with your best friend?

“Fuck-” you huffed out. You were missing all the beats, which was starting to aggravate you.

After knowing Jisung for all your life, you couldn't believe that you were just now having a conversation about intimacy with each other… and agreeing on it. It sounded fake.

You shook your thoughts away. “Focus.”

"Y/N?" A voice called out. It didn’t take you too long to realize whose it was. Nobody else sounded the way he did. "I thought you left already for the day." He walked up to you and, as he got closer, noticed your attempt to conceal your annoyance with yourself.

You gave him a soft smile, hoping that it was, at the very least, believable. “Hi, Jinnie."

He looked really good today. His duffle was slung over his shoulder, a sweatband around his wrist. Your eyes trailed up his exposed arm, the slight definition of his muscles. And then you followed to his lips. It wore the same shade of pink that you loved. He looked really fucking good and you just wanted to scream. Scream because of your situation– scream because of him.

Instead of doing so, Hyunjin frowned, taking into account your gloomy expression. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"Nothing happened."

He sighed, setting his duffle down on the floor beside yours. "Has anybody ever called you a bad liar?"

Too many times to count. You shook your head, "Nothing happened! Seriously! I'm just kind of emotional today– it's whatever."

As soon as you said that, he crossed his arms and simply looked down at you quizzically. He didn't believe a single thing you’d just said. It was intimidating, the way he looked at you. Although you were stressed and could’ve easily broken down just by his gaze, you tried your best to keep your composure.

The room was silent, and you couldn't help but feel your cheeks redden at his firm stare. His look alone excited every inch of you, and you couldn't help it. You were covered in goosebumps.

"Why do you always do that," you groaned, hugging your legs into your chest to hide your face as you were pretty embarrassed by your rosy cheeks.

He quirked an eyebrow, "Do what?"

You looked at him and muttered, "You know what you are doing, Hyunjin."

He titled his head. "Hmm... I'm not too sure I do?" He was aware that he often stared at people too much, but he couldn't help it as it was out of pure curiosity.

In your case, he had put two and two together within a span of a few seconds. He recalled your constant sighs and mumbles to yourself throughout the practice. You were beating yourself up too harshly. He knew what upset you, but he wanted you to tell him when you were comfortable enough.

You didn't respond.

A few moments passed before he slowly crouched in front of you, a soft smile plastered on his lips. You sucked in a breath as your faces were now roughly inches apart.

"If you're not going to tell me what's wrong, at least let me help you. Let's take it from the top,” he spoke kindly.

It was the worst torture ever.

Having him there, crouched in front of you and inches apart. Smiling and handsome–but not being allowed to do everything your hands had been dreaming of since you’d met him. He made you feel many extraordinary things, and it was never an issue despite you knowing he’d probably never feel the same.

You loved everything about him enough to fill the missing piece in your heart. Your love for him would be sufficient for both of you. You were so sure of it.

The sweet scent of strawberry lingered in your nose. It warmed your skin. It warmed your soul. You always loved the smell of strawberries and how they tasted.

It was horribly clear that it was unbearable to just be his friend. Your throat ran dry, and you swallowed. "And what if I don’t want to?" you whispered; it was just enough for him to hear. Your eyes never broke away from his, although your heart was ready to burst out of your chest.

You were being bold. A little too bold. Usually, you didn't mind expressing yourself. It was one of your many most honorable traits. But this wasn't anything you would've typically done to the boy you were so head over heels for.

Maybe your emotions were all too distorted right now, but the look in his eyes made you ignore all your doubts. Your failed quiz, your horrible dancing, Jisung. It all suddenly disappeared, and all that was left was someone as beautiful as Hwang Hyunjin.

Silence filled the room once more as he bit down on the side of his cheek, charmed by your striking response. He attempted to speak before he caught himself, lightly chuckling. His eyes trailed down your face before looking back up to meet your eyes again, "...I never knew you were this stubborn Y/N."

You shrugged in response, making him analyze you for a moment, thinking. You were interesting to him. Finally, he stood up, recreating the distance between you both. Suddenly the scent of strawberries disappeared, and you felt colder.

Without a word, he lent his hand for you to grab, and you just simply stared at it, "If you don't want to dance, that's okay. At least just take my hand–it makes me upset seeing you like this."

Although you wanted to continue moping around at your leisure, his lent-out hand was too irresistible to ignore. You took his hand in yours and stood up.

He brought his lips up into a proud grin, dimples exposed. "Good. Now we are going to have a quick dance lesson."

"Hyunjin!"

He laughed loudly, "Yes, darling."

You almost choked on your words. Pausing for a moment, you tried to forget what he just called you. "Um… I’m not going to intrude on the rest of your day. I can practice alone."

Giving you a sympathetic look, he noticed that you tended to let things get to your head. He couldn't blame you; he was the same way. He was always so hard on himself. It was something he was working on.

He could tell that you were upset with your performance today. And if he really wanted to, he could’ve continued to make the situation lighthearted and witty, but instead, he pulled you into his chest, his arms wrapping around your neck.

And suddenly, just like that, the smell of strawberries came rushing back. Except for this time, it hit ten times harder.

You froze into place. When was the last time you hugged him? Last year before he went abroad? No, you just gave him a wave of goodbye. Maybe it was when you both won that beer pong game together at some random party freshman year.

You hesitantly wrapped your arms around his waist, and suddenly your skin began to burn. It burned so much that it began to glow.

His chin rested on your head and he sighed, "Don't let today’s little slip-up get to your head." He firmly reassured you, "I've watched you all this time, and you have been doing amazing–you are amazing."

Your knees felt weak as the world around you was in slow motion. While you stood engulfed by his touch, you continued to fall for him in silence because, in silence, you felt no rejection.

And at that moment, it felt like you were the only ones that existed. That was, until your phone rang with a video call.

The both of you parted at the sound and you internally groaned, reading the contact. Yeah, you felt somewhat better from Hyunjin’s consolation but seeing Jisung’s name on your screen kind of frustrated you once more.

Inevitably enough, you answered the call. “Yes?”

“Oh, sorry, are you still at practice? I thought you finished.” His eyes widened cutely as he noticed the familiar dance studio ceiling.

You shook your head. “It’s done. I just stayed to practice some more,” you clarified. Soon enough, Hyunjin popped his head in the frame, and Jisung’s eyebrows rose in curiosity. It was clear he was definitely thinking things.

Hyunjin waved, “Hey Hannie.”

A sly smile formed on Jisung’s lips, “What’s up man? I was going to ask if Y/N wanted to grab food, but she has company.”

You rolled your eyes, but the boy beside you didn't notice. Instead, he laughed at Jisung’s comment. “It’s not like we have dance together or anything…” you butted in. “Besides, I’m in the middle of cleaning up some moves, so I can’t make it to dinner.”

Hyunjin looked at you, slightly concerned. “You should eat something.”

“I’ll eat later. You both should go!” you forced a smile. If it were any other day, you would’ve agreed, but you really needed to practice some more.

Jisung spoke up, “How about we all grab some pizza later?” He asked, heavily emphasizing the word all, which made you glare at him slightly through your screen. He hid a mischievous smile.

“That sounds fair, right Y/N?” Hyunjin asked. His eyes hadn't left you. “We can practice together first. If you’re okay with that, of course.”

“Yeah Y/N, sounds good?” Jisung sheepishly asked, and you wanted to hang up on him so badly just by hearing his smug tone.

But instead, you pitifully caved. “Yeah, sounds good.”

You didn't really have much to say to Hyunjin during the walk to the pizza parlor.

It was evident that you were an overthinker. For the rest of your self-made practice, Hyunjin had helped you relearn everything from earlier but your mind constantly overflooded, recalling everything that had just happened between the two of you. You wanted to hug him again.

As for the boy beside you, he enjoyed the comfortable silence. It was therapeutic and calming. And it was quite ironic because your mind was far from quiet.

“What are you doing this Saturday?” Hyunjin abruptly asked. The both of you had come to a stop at a crosswalk. He pouted, “I have two tickets to this new art exhibit that had just opened, and my friend canceled on me.”

Your gaze fell on him and he gave you a half smile, shaking his head like he found himself ridiculous.

“I’m not sure if art is really your thing but, would you like to go with me?” he added.

A moment passed before the light of the crosswalk signaled for everyone to walk. “I’m down to go if you want me to,” you stated as the two of you followed behind other pedestrians.

“Of course I do. I just hope it won’t bore you to death.”

Nothing would ever bore you when it came to him. He was the most interesting and fascinating person you’d ever met.

You shook your head, smiling at him. “I won’t get bored, trust me.”

He grinned adorably. “It’s this Saturday at noon. Does that work for you?” You pondered for a few moments, recalling if you had any other appointments near that hour. He mistook the silence as you being busy. “We could go later—”

You cut him off, “No, noon is perfect.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, of course! I can't wait Jinnie!”

He gave you a dimpled smile and your heart nearly melted at the sight.

Before you both knew it, you had arrived at the pizza parlor. You always found it so offputting how quiet the parlor was during the weekday. It was a hotspot during the weekend, filled with vibrant students, both drunk and sober, with top hits blaring through the speakers. Now it just looked like a regular pizza shop.

Hyunjin spotted Jisung leaned against the brick wall near the entrance. His frame was engulfed, like usual, with his favorite hoodie you got him, the hood over his head. If you weren't still icky from your conversation on Friday, you would’ve run into his warm arms because of how stressed you were today. He gave really good hugs—the best ones.

He was too busy with his phone to notice the two of you until walking up to him.

“Hey Ji,” you greeted.

He looked up, instantly a smile forming on his lips as he saw you. “Oh, hey guys.” His eyes trailed over to Hyunjin and he stood up from against the wall, his weight now balanced on both his feet. He proceeded to then give Hyunjin a quick wave before turning to you, suddenly encapsulating you into a deep hug.

Your eyes widened suddenly until you felt his familiar arms soak in. You let him hug you.

Seeing how his hug lasted more than five seconds already, you glanced at Hyunjin. He stood silently, almost uncomfortably, as he waited for the both of you to finish. Then, he caught your gaze, and his eyebrows rose.

“Alright Ji, you can let go now,’ you lightly chuckled as you felt uneasy with the physical display in front of Hyunjin. Plus, it was 7 pm and you were standing in front of an almost dead pizza parlor embraced by your best friend for no reason at all.

Jisung finally pulled away, “Sorry. I just missed you that’s all…” He dramatically sighed out loud which made you give him a suspicious look. You were confused as to why he was acting like that. He peered over to Hyunjin who was now attempting to entertain himself with his phone and gave you a quick wink.

Was he attempting to make Hyunjin jealous? You felt the blood run through your cheeks.

Noticing the quietness, Hyunjin looked up from his device. “Oh, are you guys ready to head in?” He put his phone in his pocket. Jisung nodded and followed behind him as he began to walk inside.

You were still hung up on Jisung’s wink. What exactly was he pulling, especially on his own? Jisung sucked at making anything remotely believable. He sucked at pranks, at lying (no matter how much he attempted to drag you in this), and practically anything else along the lines of improvising.

Since Hyunjin had walked in first and was in front, he couldn't see what happened next but you nearly flicked Jisung right in the forehead. There was no way in hell Hyunjin would get jealous of Jisung. There was no way in hell Hyunjin would get jealous point blank period. He didn't like you.

Jisung pulled your arm, bringing you closer. “Y/N, you need to play along,” he harshly whispered.

You furrowed your eyebrows and scoffed at his words. Maybe a couple of days ago when the plan was still fresh you would've, but now you really weren't in the mood to play fake girlfriend and boyfriend. Especially after the day you just had.

“Well, you're coming on too strong.”

He shook his head, “No, I just don't think you're doing enough.”

You rolled your eyes, hitting the back of his head. “How’s that for enough?” He winced, holding it.

Hyunjin heard the commotion and turned to find Jisung giving you the biggest glare. He awkwardly cleared his throat, looking in between the both of you. “Uh, everything okay?”

You caught up to him, leaving Jisung behind with a smile. “Yep!”

Soon enough you all began to enjoy your slices of pizza, talking about weekday plans and small life updates. Of course, Jisung didn't let you rest though. After the little incident earlier, he made it his dying wish to make you annoyed.

You insisted he sit beside Hyunjin in the booth but he demanded to sit beside you. Usually, you didn't mind but after knowing his intentions with this dinner, you wanted to be far from him. But since you didn't want to cause a scene and confuse Hyunjin more than he already seemed to be, you let him be.

Hyunjin took a sip of his cola as you nearly shoved Jisung out of the booth like it was the most normal thing ever. The boy across from you lightly chuckled to himself, “You guys are arguing a lot more than usual.”

“Well, Jisung tried to kiss your cheek,” you told yourself. “You’d always let him kiss your cheek, though,” you responded. “Yes, but he was getting on your nerves on purpose. He didn’t deserve to kiss your cheek.”

You nearly laughed hysterically at the conversation you just had with yourself. You were losing your mind, seriously.

Jisung fully sat back in the booth and waved his hand, shaking his head at Hyunjin. He was acting like his life didn't flash before his eyes just a moment ago. “It’s all good. Right Y/N?”

It took a lot for you to not say anything incriminating. “Yeah, I guess it is,” you gritted.

The boy across from you was slightly amused by the interaction, “If I didn't know that you guys were best friends, I would've guessed you liked each other.”

The both of you turned to Hyunjin almost immediately, like it was instinct. It was a saying that was conditioned in both your and Jisung’s mind. Much so that the boy beside you forgot the role he was supposed to be playing.

“What? Ew!”

Some time had passed since you and Jisung came from dinner and you had spent the rest of your evening finishing up a paper that was due later that night. Senior year was already kicking your ass and you needed to get your priorities straight.

There was a knock at your door.

“You can come in,” you called out. The door swung open and Minho appeared. You flashed him a smile from where you were seated at your desk. “Hey, Lino. Thanks for finally using the knocking system.”

You recalled a few weeks ago when you scolded him for barging into your room.

He gave you a sarcastic smile, taking a seat at the bottom of your bed, “Ha ha. Very funny. What are you up to?”

He had on the cutest mushroom print pajama set that you had gotten him as a joke for Christmas three years ago. Although it was all for shits and giggles, he surprisingly liked it. You laughed as you thought about his unexpected initial reaction.

“I know what you're thinking, and all I can say is I will wear this for the rest of my life,” he proudly stated.

You brought your hands up in surrender, “Fine.” He looked cute anyway. You calmed yourself down before rolling in your desk chair to face him, “What's up?”

“Nothing. I was just wondering if you were doing alright. I noticed that something was on your mind during practice,” he began spinning your chair side to side with his legs.

Minho was a really attentive person. Nothing could ever get past him.

“Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Just bummed because I failed my quiz, that's all,” you informed.

“You sure?”

You lightly smiled, “Of course! I’m almost done with my paper for that stupid class right now. I need to redeem myself.”

He slowly nodded, not sure if you were completely telling the truth. “...Ahh, okay. Let me not hold you then.” He stood up from your bed to hug you from behind as you still sat. “Goodnight,” he hummed before walking out of your room.

It kind of struck a nerve knowing that you were keeping the arrangement with Jisung a secret from Minho. He totally wouldn't have agreed with the plan—in fact, you were clearly seeing why he wouldn't.

You nearly bit Jisung’s head off for simply trying anything on you earlier. Everything felt so forced and unnatural, and you hated it.

You sighed, pushing away all your thoughts so you could quickly finish up whatever was left of your paper. You were easily distracted and that needed to stop.

Once the clock struck a quarter til midnight, you were able to successfully finish and submit your paper. Excitement rushed through your veins as you were finally able to get some rest. Your brain was beginning to ache.

After cleaning up for the night, you hopped into bed. It was always so rewarding when you entered your cold sheets after a long day. Usually, you would've continued on to the next chapter of a book you were currently reading for class, but quite frankly, you were tired of looking at words.

Not only were you exhausted of words, but the lack of interest you had using your phone was immense. You had hoped for your slumber to whisk you away as soon as possible to cure your boredom.

But then again, you never really got what you wanted so of course, you were wide awake.

You stared at your ceiling pondering on what you could do to pass time until you got tired. You could watch a movie with Minho… No, he probably was busy watching his own thing. So that left you texting your other best friend even though you were still annoyed with him.

you: hey

It didn't take long for him to respond. Expected, but very much so appreciated.

jisung: oh am i finally set free from my unjust timeout?

You rolled your eyes.

you: yes and no

jisung: :)

jisung: tonights a good night then

jisung: what’s up baby

you: i can't sleep, wanna smoke?

jisung: on the roof?

jisung: um no

jisung: i’m scared you might push me off

you: 😐

jisung: lmao kidding

jisung: i’m down

Getting up from your bed, you threw on whatever random university hoodie you could find from the pile of clothes you had laying around. You should probably clean that this weekend. A few moments later, a knock sounded at your door before Jisung peeked his head through.

He was busy finishing up a text, “You ready?”

You nodded, retrieving your phone before following Jisung out of the apartment. The both of you entered the elevator of your building to head up to the rooftop. The boys and you always enjoyed going up there during the summer as it had a pool and many other aspects that made it appealing.

Finally arriving, you were glad it was empty. It was midnight on a Monday night, but other tenants usually came up here to smoke a lot of the time so you both lucked out.

Jisung huffed, plopping down on the faux grass that your landlord installed earlier that year. “Now why are we out here in the middle of the night.” He opened his arms so you could sit in his embrace but you squinted at him still slightly suspicious of his actions from earlier. “Fine, I’ll just be best friend-less.”

Nonetheless, you plopped down beside him, sitting closely as he wanted. He smiled to himself.

“Just bored,” you answered his question. He took out a baggy and rolling paper from his sweater, and you watched as he began to roll a joint. “Bored and stressed.”

“I’m sure of it. You looked rough today,” he responded.

“Ouch.”

He gave you a quick wink, licking the paper close. “Kidding. Here.” You leaned in and he placed the joint in between your lips before lighting it for you.

“Thanks,” you took a drab.

He laid down, letting his back hit the ground with an exhale. “The fresh air is nice.”

You hummed agreeing as you passed him the blunt. He took a long hit from where he was laid.

“Sorry if I was a bitch today,” you abruptly mentioned. “I thought about it in the shower and I shouldn't have tried to shove you out of your seat.”

He took another hit before passing it back to you. “You thought about me in the shower?”

You rolled your eyes although you weren't really annoyed. Laying down beside him, you sighed, “Do you want an apology yes or no?”

He played with the faux grass, pulling and stroking it unknowingly. Weed always made him fidgety. “I’ve known you my entire life. I don't need an apology Y/N.”

He had a point. But why did you still feel instigated to somewhat apologize for being meaner than usual to him today? He was always the sweetest to you in his own way.

Still, you continued. “I think it’s because you were doing all that stuff in front of Hyunjin and I don't know… I got a little flustered,” you released smoke out into the air. “Here, I’m done.”

He lightly chuckled taking the remainder, “I get it. I was probably coming on too strong like you said—” He abruptly pointed up at the sky. “Yo, look at that constellation. It kinda looks like Minho!”

Your eyes followed to where he was pointing. “Wait, you're kinda right.” It looked like a bunny.

A few moments of silence passed before he spoke. “Is it just me or is this weed hitting a bit too hard?” He sat up leaning to hit the bud of the joint onto a nearby metal chair, “I’m fucking high as shit.”

You laughed loudly at his reaction. He laid back down beside you again, his eyes observing the plethora of stars overtop.

Turning your body in his direction, you pouted, “But, I think you’re right. Maybe I wasn't doing enough.” You referred to what he said in the diner earlier.

“I was just joking. We really don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable Y/N,” he said firmly, his eyes still tracing the constellations. “Besides this is yours and Hyunjin’s business. I shouldn't get involved.”

You shook your head, “No, we agreed and I think I might actually need your help.” You cleared your throat, swallowing the lump that grew. “He asked me to go to an art exhibit with him on Saturday and I said yes.”

Jisung finally turned his head slightly to look at you. “But you don't care about art.”

“Yeah, but I care about Hyunjin so—” you stopped yourself, cringing at the words that just exited your mouth. The boy beside you fake gagged and you hid your face in your hands, embarrassed. “Okay, regardless- what I’m trying to say is I need your help,” you muttered past your hands.

He gently pulled your hands away from your face. “Well, you're going to need to tell me what you need me to do because obviously, I suck at improvising.”

You thought for a moment before your heart suddenly began to pound slightly faster than usual. You were definitely high now. There were one of two ways that this could potentially go, and both of them could result in Jisung laughing in your face.

You exhaled, “Ji.” He hummed in response telling you to go on, suddenly too tired to speak. He began to lazily fidget with the grass again. Sighing, you continued, “Do you remember when we were younger? You used to chase me around at recess, trying to get a kiss. The teachers all laughed, and said you'd grow out of it.”

He paused. His body tensed and instantaneously the world around him froze.

You continued, softly laughing. “I remember it so clearly and it’s so crazy to think about now.” He didn’t say a word. He didn't even dare look in your direction, afraid he would ruin it for himself somehow, someway. But, you looked at him, grabbing his chin to turn his head at you. “Isn't it?”

He swallowed, unable to form a coherent sentence as memories flooded through his head. Memories he desperately worked so hard to forget.

“I need a favor Sungie,” you nervously bit lightly on the bottom of your lip. His eyes did all the speaking for him as he waited for you to carry on. “Can we kiss?”

“Kis—” He suddenly coughed, nearly choking on his spit, “You want to actually kiss?”

He didn't laugh like you expected.

“I know we spoke about it a couple of days ago and I took it as a joke just like you—but Hyunjin asked me to go out and now…” He never took it as a joke. He just didn’t think you’d follow through. The lack of words on his end was eating you alive. You shook your head, “Oh forget it. Never mind.”

Without a word, he pulled you close into his chest. “We can do it,” he confirmed.

You titled your head up, surprised. “What?” You realized maybe you were being a little selfish for asking him to kiss you. “Are you sure?”

He nodded reassuringly. “Yeah, fuck it. It’s just a kiss anyways.” For a moment, he reminisced on your words. He had pushed the idea of you far, far back into his mind that he was convinced it never existed. So there was no need to act as if it did. He quickly shook the intrusive thoughts away.

“It’s just a simple kiss, grow up Jisung,” he silently told himself.

You gave him a look hoping he was telling the truth but something just didn't feel right. “I feel like you're lying… Jisung it’s okay if you do—”

He brought a finger up to his chin, rambling, “I mean technically this would be great practice if you think about it. You haven’t kissed anybody and it’s been a while for me too. Might as well get it out of the way, right?”

Pondering it for a few moments, you hesitantly nodded. “Well, okay.”

The both of you were laid on the rooftop as the illuminated night sky encircled you and made you feel tiny. Today was supposed to be an ordinary Monday but you found yourself leaning into the embrace of your best friend who you were about to kiss.

Your very first kiss.

And as you both leaned in, he suddenly stopped right as your lips were about to meet.

“What?” you asked.

His mouth parted a little, “Huh what? Oh, nothing.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. You knew him too well. “No. Something is wrong, what is it?”

He sighed, groaning, “Ughhh.” It was his turn to cover his face with his hands. Was he getting shy? You lightheartedly giggled as you pulled his hands away, just as he did to you. He exhaled once more, “Probably nerves?”

You chuckled, "I mean you’re not losing your lip virginity, are you?“

“Can you stop calling it that?”

“Never.”

He laughed at your determination to keep the word alive. Soon his laughter died out and he continued his case. “But yeah, it’s just-“ he paused. He was unsure of how to tell you that he was afraid of kissing you. Afraid because he was scared of falling again. “I don’t know… maybe it is kinda weird kissing your best friend you basically knew your entire life,” he breathily half-chuckled.

You raised an eyebrow. Logically speaking, he had a point. This was your best friend, of course, it was odd. It was fucking odd to you too. But you were growing slightly impatient that if not now, soon enough you weren’t going to want to kiss him. You had to keep reminding yourself that it was for Hyunjin. In the most selfish way possible, it was for him.

“Sungie, remember what you just said? It’s just a kiss. Stop making it weird.”

He sighed, not saying a word because you were right. He did say that. The both of you technically did discuss it before also, so he needed to just man up. It was his idea too; this entire scheme that he offered to help you with. Why did he do that? He was starting to really regret it now.

But what was said, was said. There was no going back.

So instead of refuting, he grabbed you around the waist with trembling fingers, pulling you even closer to his body. He was gentle, scared of hurting you.

You laughed and it was suddenly a melody of a song he could listen to for the rest of his life. It would distract him from what he was about to do.

"You know I'm not going to break, right?" You smugly responded, a smile creeping onto your lips.

"I still feel like I'm going to break you. Fuck- I can't believe I'm doing this, never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be-" He began to panic again.

You put a finger to his lips, silencing him, "Ji, just shut up and kiss me."

And so he did. Gosh, you were really going to fuck his head up.

He pressed his lips onto yours and although the both of you had absolutely no idea how to move forward or how to proceed, you continued. You both just laid there, entangled, taking in the warmth of having each other's lips and bodies pressed against one another.

It took him a couple of seconds before pulling away slightly. He was really high. But so were you. So you closed the space between your lips once more, this time with force and anticipation. Your fingers found their way into his hair, his lips molding against yours lips perfectly. You followed his movements until your lips finally began to move in sync.

You didn’t think it registered to you yet that you were making out with Jisung. Poor Minho was probably sound asleep.

Moments later, you felt his hands slowly creep down your waist.

You grabbed it to bring it back up. “Not a chance buddy,” you mumbled against his lips. He chuckled. That was his chance to slip his tongue in. You kissed him back, your lips tentative, your tongue hesitant as you mirrored his movements. He groaned, pushing you gently so he could hover over your body.

He was getting too ahead of himself that all he could think about were your lips. How they moved against his, how your tongue began exploring his, as did his—the both of you fighting for dominance. Despite knowing you for so long, your lips were one of the very few things he was unfamiliar about with you.

And maybe you wanted to lie to the world and say how unturned you were in that moment when Jisung got on top just to prove it, but that was the hardest thing you could do now. There was just so much that a person could bare to ignore and he wasn't one of them.

You moaned into his mouth and your eyes opened out of shock.

Hoping that he didn't hear you, you attempted to continue before you heard him mutter something against your lips. You weren't able to make sense of it until he pulled away. His lips were swollen and glistening with you. Fucking Han Jisung.

“Are you okay?” His eyes which were low and half-lidded found yours.

“Yes, I just…” you couldn't find the right words.

“Were you turned on?” he abruptly asked.

Your mouth gaped, “Never ever say that again. I was not turned on—“

He wiped your residue off his lips, “Yeah, sure.” He didn't believe you one bit.

“Han Jisung, I was not turned on,” you reaffirmed. Your cheeks heated up and you hoped he couldn't see it past the darkness. “Stop saying that.”

He could sense your insecurity and raised his hands in defense, “Okay, okay, you weren’t turned on. I get it, sometimes noises just come out—”

“No, you don’t get it… you’re being sarcastic.” You were still beneath him and despite his comments, you grew slightly upset that he wasn't closer.

He was about to continue the remarks that would’ve eventually made you heated and flustered, but he decided against it.

It all lasted for a couple of seconds.

Words vanished from his mind as he forgot the purpose of air, admiring your appearance. You were between his arms, and all he had was a couple of seconds before he knew you both had to go your separate ways.

It all lasted for a couple of seconds before you slipped through his fingers cutting off the enchanting sensation he had always desired.

Saturday had come much quicker than expected.

You had just finished your makeup after spending a little longer on it than usual. Today was important to you and maybe you were losing your mind a little about the entire thing, but you wouldn't trade it in for anything else in the world.

Your phone rang and a slight smile grew on your face as you read the contact.

"Hey Jinnie.”

"Hi, are you almost ready? I’ll be on my way," he asked.

You paced around your room and shook your head although he couldn't see, "Oh—uh… almost! I just have to get changed." You quickly grabbed the dress you planned on wearing.

"Well, hurry up," he dragged out, laughing. His tone was rather whiney and you nearly crumbled. "Seungmin keeps nagging me to play Uno with him but I'd rather hang out with you right now."

You giggled as you played with the bottom of your loose shirt. It took you a few moments before realizing how love-struck you were. This boy had you giggling over every interaction. If anybody saw the way you were smiling at literally nothing you would be so embarrassed.

"Okay, come now. I’ll be ready in ten!”

After ending the call, you quickly unbuttoned the dress in your hands. You weren't too sure if it would look good on you. It’s been a couple of years since you had last worn it. But your mind kept blanking as you thought about your other alternatives.

You were wasting time.

There was a knock at your door as you slipped into the original dress. “Yeah?”

The door opened and Jisung’s head poked through, “Yo.”

“Oh hey, I thought you were out.”

He shook his head, plopping down onto your unmade bed. “I was in my room working on a song.”

It had been a couple of days since you shared that night with Jisung on the rooftop. The both of you didn't speak much about it afterward. And it wasn't like it needed to be discussed either, you both were fine with brushing it away.

You were thankful about that as you felt tensed the morning after. You had to keep reminding yourself that it was only just Jisung and he would never think of you indifferently, but you kept recoiling at the memory.

You simply made out with each other for the sole purpose of gaining experience.

“You should wear your yellow dress,” Jisung commented, briefly watching you as he played with the disheveled fabric from your comforter.

You pouted, looking in the mirror to observe the one you had on. “Why? What’s wrong with this one?”

“Because the yellow one has flowers and compliments your skin more,” he shrugged. He was trying to tell you in his own way that it was because it was his favorite dress. Ever since you wore it to the park last summer, he found it to be the most ravishing thing you possessed.

You studied your appearance a little longer to understand what he was talking about. Yeah, maybe the dress you had on was a little too dark for the event.

Your phone suddenly dinged indicating that you had received a text. Jisung automatically grabbed your phone so he could read it out loud. You silently thanked him in your mind as you were too busy now scavenging your closet for the yellow dress.

hyunjin: 5 min away

“Hyun said that he’s five minutes away,” he informed before setting your phone back down.

Your eyes widened slightly at his update, still rummaging to locate the dress. You had five minutes, maybe even less, to change again, pack your bag, and do some last-minute touch-ups. Finally spotting the yellow dress, you quickly slipped out of the current one you had on and into the new one.

The boy on your bed laughed as he noticed how franticly fast you were moving, "Woah, slow down."

You panicked, struggling to zip up the back of your dress. "Hyunjin’s like four minutes away now! Why does a stupid dress have a zipper?!"

Jisung stood up from your bed and walked over to you. He turned you around by your shoulders so he could help you. “This zipper is to secure everything.” You could feel his cold fingers brush against your back as he began to zip you up. “You should appreciate it.”

He ached to compliment your appearance but he noticed you were too much in a rush to care. “You look so ethereal.” “I wished you were going out with me instead—wearing this for me.” But that wasn't plausible in his situation, so instead, he kept silent. After all, he knew that it wasn't his opinion that you cared for. He had to remind himself of that a million times.

Despite his remark, you flashed him a quick smile, “Thank you.” You quickly rushed around your room, throwing stuff into your purse. You hated being like this, it always felt like you were going to forget something important.

"You know,” he began, he leaned his head against the wall watching your actions. You didn't bother looking at him as you had more dire things to focus on. “You never told me why.”

You were in the middle of reapplying your lipstick, and you caught Jisung’s eyes studying you through the mirror. “Why what?”

He pressed his lips together to draw a line and you could’ve almost sworn you almost saw him frown, “Why him?”

It was a good question. Why not?

Hyunjin was the guy with the good grades and warm smile and perfect manners. Why wouldn’t you? He was soft to the touch and words flowed out of his mouth like silk. He challenged you. He made you question everything.

You were about to answer but the doorbell of the apartment rang.

Standing up from your vanity, you left Jisung behind as you ran out of your room to open the front door. His heart felt a familiar pain as you disappeared leaving him with his thoughts. Maybe it was for the best you didn't answer.

As you opened the door, your mouth slightly fell apart as you looked at the sight in front of you. The boy in front of you looked absolutely stunning. His light blue button-up that complimented his skin so beautifully was cuffed at the arms. His hair which almost reached its former state now was pinned back neatly. He was the most radiant—the most exquisite entity in human form.

You truly didn't have enough words.

Hyunjin looked at you and smiled warmly. “Hi.”

Finally closing the gap between your lips, you swallowed, “Hi.”

He noticed how your cheeks became a very familiar shade of crimson. “You ready to go?” he asked and you nodded.

You headed back into your room to grab your bag. But as soon as you walked in, Jisung was already two steps ahead of you. He was about to walk out and pass it to you himself.

“Oh—here,” he extended his arm and passed it to you. He looked at you for a few moments before scoffing to himself lightly. He leaned into you, to whisper, “Your face is red as hell.”

You felt your cheek with the back of your hand and gasped at how warm it was.

It was inevitably clear that you were getting closer to Hyunjin. Jisung knew that, and maybe he was being a bit cynical when he heard of your plans with the boy. He scolded himself for thinking it was a bluff. But seeing you and Hyunjin in one frame, all dolled up right in front of him, spoke volumes.

“Do I look okay?” you whispered, still unsure of your appearance. You hoped your cheeks had lessened in color but after seeing Hyunjin, you were more worried about how you presented yourself.

He nodded, shrugging slightly. “It’s less red, yeah.”

“No, do I look okay?”

“Oh, you meant it in that way.”

Of course, you looked okay—more than okay. You looked so heavenly that he almost had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Of course, you fucking looked good. You were beautiful.

In fact, he found you the most beautiful not when you were all fancied up, but when you weren’t. When you were lying on the carpet, your hair all a mess, laughing about something that had happened years ago. When you weren't trying to impress anyone and taken down that wall that you had built for most people. That's when he couldn't take his eyes off of you.

It was an odd sight for him to see you get anxious over a boy.

Suddenly you cared about how you looked, how you dressed, and how you acted. Growing up, you never really cared much for them. Seeing you frantic, in general, was sort of hard to believe for Jisung. Yet, it was something he told himself to get used to.

Jisung cleared his throat, swallowing the lump that grew. “You look great.”

Hyunjin and you arrived at the art exhibit on time. The weather proved itself to be much warmer than you envisioned so the both of you opted to walk. Luckily it didn't take too long as the building was only a few blocks away.

You didn't know much about art before aside from the fact that it was one of the very few things Hyunjin held close to his heart.

You remembered a few years back when he came to dance practice with a huge canvas. Minho and Felix both joked about how it was nearly his size but Hyunjin just laughed it off and told them he was working on a solo project. You never saw the end product, and at the time, you didn't really care much to.

But right now, you wished you did.

As the both of you walked into the building, there were already people walking around the gallery. Hyunjin gave the two tickets to the lady by the door and soon enough the two of you were granted access to the entire building.

It was serene. Something you’ve never seen before in your life. The walls were covered with art from all around the country. Different splashes of colors and shapes.

“It’s beautiful, right?” the boy beside you asked, taking into account your reaction. He had no idea where to start. “Sometimes I like to just stand and take it all in.”

You turned to the breathing work of art beside you, your eyes watching him as his eyes trailed his surroundings. “How do you know where to start?”

He tenderly curved his lips into a smile, “It’s just a feeling that I can’t really describe.”

He was smart. But not the kind of smart that made you feel intimidated. He was the kind of smart that made you want to learn things just to keep up a conversation with him. And he was beautiful, so beautiful that you had to look up at the sky to make sure that the world was still turning. The kind of beautiful that made you forget how to breathe. Yeah, you forgot how to breathe.

He grabbed your hand, gently. His soft palm was pressed against yours but you wanted them even closer. And suddenly the world stilled around you as he guided you to his chosen piece from the entire gallery.

It was a simple flower. A violet.

You grew envious of a piece of art as if captivated his heart before you could.

“Why this one?” Genuine curiosity washed over you.

He let go of your hand. His attention was captivated by the single purple flower floating in oblivion. “I suppose I enjoy the story it’s telling.” Your gaze followed the way his eyes studied everything. The placement of the flower, the shading, and the background. It was much more than you could understand. “Sometimes the most simplest things were the most beautiful, Y/N.”

Then it started. The constant fear that you were never going to forget him began.

The way his brown eyes pierced through the canvas made your heart beat ten times faster. You fell hopelessly in love with him watching a flower. So much so you wanted to run into the world it was in and steal it for him.

You’d put it behind his ear, in between his lips, or in his hands. Whichever way he’d want it—you would’ve done it.

You couldn't forget the way he looked at it. It would be something that would be engraved in your memory forever. It would be painful, yet the most gorgeous form of pain you’d experience.

You wanted him so badly. It certainly wasn't a new sensation for you. But you never pined for anybody before like this in your life. In every book you read, you seemed to find a parallel to you and him. You hoped that he thought the same when he saw art.

“I mean, you probably understand,” he spoke again. He hadn't realized that your eyes never fell off him. “It’s very similar to the books you read.” You appreciated his presence once more before he finally caught your stare and smiled. "What?" he said jokingly.

"Oh, sorry.”

He chuckled, “Why are you sorry?”

You blushed and shrugged your shoulders. “I can't help it. With the way you speak, and view the world—you're just so perfect."

“No, you are,” he laughed, not taking you as seriously.

“I’m telling you the truth.”

"I'm far from it," he shook his head and sighed. He was always the hardest with himself and it upset you to see him so discouraged. Since he had come back, you could tell that he has been struggling a lot to get back to where he was. “Nowadays, I find it hard to connect with anything. But, you make my days just a little easier. Thank you.”

You knew you were never the greatest and you were never near beautiful. Your hair was always a mess. Your eyes had bags under them. Your lips were sometimes chapped, and your skin was dull. You’d admit that some days you wore too much makeup, but other days you didn't wear enough.

You were covered in these flaws that affected your personality and your mood for the day.

When you met him years ago, you weren't as happy as you could've been. But when he told you that you were perfect now, that you made his days better, you realized that maybe you could believe him. Believe that you were the greatest and you were perfect to him.

And you hated it. You hated seeing him think of himself as nothing. You hated how you believed him but it was so hard for him to believe you.

He was so bewitching and captivating. He may not be perfect to someone else, or even himself, but he was perfect in your eyes.

You wanted to make the light shine in his eyes again.

It wasn't about what he did or didn't do. It was about who he was and how much you loved the boy before you with dreaming eyes that screamed with a burning passion.

It suddenly was all about the beauty of finding meaning that he shared with you. It wasn't little or short-lived. It wasn't hurtful or apologetic.

The beauty he shared with you was pure and full. It was the beauty you heard about in songs and books. It was all-consuming, igniting, passionate, and alluring beauty. It was every wonderful dream brought into your reality. It was yours forever.

Your forever, in the form of your prince.

After your escapades at the art exhibit last month, you had grown to establish a solid friendship with Hyunjin. You reminisced on how amazing hanging out with him was and you wanted to do it over and over again until you both ran out of things to do.

So, you found yourself spending nearly every Saturday with him doing whatever your hearts desired. Watching dance recitals, going to book readings, more exhibits… you did them all together. Just last week the both of you went to a pottery shop to decorate mugs.

The two of you made your way into the car. Hyunjin had borrowed Seungmin’s car for the day as you both had quite the drive ahead of you. As you both buckled, he pressed play on the song he had been playing before you came.

“Ready?” he toothlessly smiled and you nodded excitingly.

The car ride was filled with laughter and music. You forgot about the silence that once was a part of your friendship with him. In a perfect world, Hyunjin would feel the same about you. You hoped that somehow you both were playing dumb in front of each other but knew exactly what you were doing.

And you had slightly hoped that he too could see in your eyes that with him, everything was just painfully different. The way you smiled at him? Friends didn't smile like that.

You wanted him to know that friends didn't look at each other the way that you did with him.

He watched you from the driver's seat while you laughed uncontrollably over a joke he just told.

“Oh my gosh, you’re so cute,” he said, hitting his brakes to stop the car at the stop sign.

Yet the two of you were just friends.

As much as you had wanted more and desired to be more, whatever you had with him seemed to be enough for you at the moment.

“Are you ready?” Jisung called out from the hallway.

According to him, you hadn’t been a very good friend lately. You had to blow some of your weekend plans with him for Hyunjin. Of course, he understood—with good reason, he had to. But you could tell it was starting to annoy him a little. So today, you were all his.

You walked to him, “Yeah, let’s go.”

His eyebrows rose as he took in the sight of you. He understood why you had taken a little longer than usual to get ready today. Did you change something? Your usual eyeshadow? Maybe your lips were covered in a different shade of pink. Or maybe he had to pinch himself to wake himself from the sudden daze he was in because for some reason he couldn't bring himself to communicate.

“Is it my special day?” He finally said. You laughed which made his chest warm a little at the noise. He really did miss you more than you could imagine. “Why are you so dressed up? We’re just going to the park.”

No seriously, he couldn't put a finger on what had changed.

You pursed your lips, playfully pushing his shoulder. “Can’t I look good when going to the park?”

He found it odd. You’d normally wear sweats and one of his baggy shirts or sweatshirts to the park—to anywhere really. You had dolled yourself up and he couldn't help but feel his cheek warm up, thinking it was for him.

Then it hit him. “Wait,” he paused, squinting curiously. “You’re seeing Hyunjin later, aren't you?”

Your mouth dropped dramatically in disbelief like what he said was the most unbelievable thing ever. “W-What! No! How could you say that!” Tough crowd. He wasn't amused. “Fine… I may or may not have plans with him later tonight,” you said quickly in a low tone.

You prayed it wasn’t loud enough for him to hear properly but it was more than enough.

Jisung scoffed, “Wow… and just when I thought I would have you for an entire Saturday.”

“Hey, you have me literally every day of the school week.”

“And so does Hyunjin,” he counterargued. “Why do I have to share a best friend with him?” He sighed. You could tell he was upset but wasn’t trying to be too demanding.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “There’s no need to be jealous, Sungie.”

Hearing you call him jealous struck a nerve which annoyed him. But he really didn't want to argue with you over this. “I just miss you, that’s all.”

You hummed for a moment thinking of a way to lighten the mood. You knew you were in the wrong and frankly being a bad friend. But because you were so stubborn, you didn’t want to admit it.

So you brought a hand up to the side of his face, bringing your lips towards his ear. “If it makes you feel better, you’re the only best friend I’ve kissed,” you whispered teasingly.

His eyes widened slightly and he coughed. He was caught off guard. A few seconds passed before he let out a breath, “You’re evil, you know that?”

“Then stop being jelly,” you giggled, poking his cheek cutely. “You already know that you’re the most important person to me in the world.”

He believed you. “Fine,” he surrendered, grabbing the picnic basket he prepared earlier while you were getting ready. “Is Lino going to meet us there?” he asked.

“He texted saying that he was still stuck in dance committee,” you informed before raising an eyebrow. “Wait, did you mute the group chat or…?”

He nodded with no hesitation, nonchalantly holding the front door open for you. “Yeah, you guys keep spamming it and I just wanna use my phone without it malfunctioning.”

“Maybe it’s time to get a new phone.”

“Buy it for me then, baby,” he sheepishly teased, making you roll your eyes with a smile.

Once arriving at the usual park near your apartment, the both of you laid out the blanket and began to indulge yourselves in snacks and yet another conversation.

The weather was perfect, especially for the time of year it was. Of course, it was no summer, but you found yourself appreciating the cool breeze that lingered throughout the air.

There was music playing softly from the small stereo he had brought. “How's book club?” Jisung asked, popping a grape into his mouth. He stretched himself onto the blanket.

You looked up from your book, “Pretty good. We have an event next Thursday, remember?”

“Oh yeah, I’ll see if I can come. I might be in the studio,” he informed before snatching the book out of your hands.

“Hey!”

He read the title and looked at you with amusement, “What’s this about anyway? The Silence Between Two Special Songs.” You reached over to grab it back from him. “Since when did you become so poetic?”

You rolled your eyes, hitting the book on his head. “Since when did you become such a headass?”

“Sorry, I just want attention.”

“You always want attention.”

He smiled cutely, “Only from you.”

You laughed euphorically, flipping back to the page you were last on. “You’re so needy, Sungie.” You continued reading.

He pouted, tossing another grape into his mouth. “I hate that book.”

“Well I love it,” you stuck your tongue out at him and he stuck one back. “Jinnie got it for me when he was away,” you proudly stated.

“Hyunjin… He got it for you?” He repeated you in a rather question. You didn’t realize how much Jisung’s face fell at the name. Instead, you nodded silently, your eyes busy scanning the page you were on. He shifted in his position, “Minho and I never got a gift.”

You tilted your head slightly confused. “Oh, that’s weird. He said he brought everyone a gift back.” You turned the page.

“Well, I guess I’m still waiting for mine.”

“You’ll get it soon hopefully.”

He drew a thin line with his mouth, disappointed with your lack of interest in talking to him. “Hopefully,” he flatly said.

It was silent for a bit, the sound of birds chirping, faded music, and children's laughter flowing through his ears. It resembled to when you both played outside as kids.

He sighed, “You guys should just date.”

Everything felt off. He felt some type of way towards hearing Hyunjin’s name. He was supposed to be his friend, but he was really starting to resent hearing it exit your mouth so many times.

You briefly looked at the boy and scoffed humorously, “Isn’t that the plan?”

A few moments passed and he didn't respond. He didn’t know how to respond. Should he make a snarky remark? Should he say something positive, or maybe negative? No, he’d sound bitter. Too bitter.

You waited a few seconds before abruptly closing your book, startling him. “Oh, speaking of! Since I’m seeing him later today… I feel like—I don’t know…” You sat up more, biting onto the bottom of your lip. “Maybe Hyunjin and I could finally have our first kiss?”

“Huh?” Jisung's eyes widened and he hoped that you didn't notice.

“I’m probably reading into things too much, but I think it could happen today,” you confirmed, nodding convincingly to yourself like you needed it. “So can I ask you for a favor?”

He could never say no to you.

His eyebrows rose slightly as a way of agreeing, “Of course, what is it?”

You began to feel quite ridiculous upon hearing your request repeat itself over and over again in your head. “Can we kiss again? I just want to make sure I remember it correctly before y’know… I make a fool out of myself.”

The palms of your hands were pressed together as you looked at him with hopeful eyes. Jisung looked at you too. Except he was unable to form any wave of expression at your statement.

Part of it was because he only paid attention to the first half of your proposal, and the other was because he was once again lost, exploring, and trying to figure out what about you changed to make you look the way you did today.

“Ji?” You waved your hand in front of his face, “Earth to Han Jisung.”

His eyes lit up. He finally got it.

“You dyed your hair!”

You blinked a few times, confused. “Wha—”

“Your hair used to be slightly darker… It’s a little lighter now,” he continued.

You lightly chuckled, touching the ends of your hair, and looked at it yourself. “How did you even notice that? I dyed it last night but I thought it didn't work too well because it barely made any difference,” you explained. “Like even Minho couldn't tell. I didn’t expect you to either.”

No, he could tell. Of course, he could tell. Was it weird that he did?

He changed the subject. “Uh anyways- what was your question again?”

Your phone dinged, interrupting the conversation.

“Gimme a sec.” You lifted your phone to see who it was.

Jisung expected it to be Minho saying that he’d actually make it to the picnic, but it wasn't. It was evident by the way he saw the way your eyes lit up as you read the message.

And as he looked over at you, it suddenly struck him how beautiful you were.

Your hair, which he was so proud of deciphering, was blowing carelessly in the wind, rich but light in the sunlight. He had the oddest impulse to touch it, to reach out, to see if it was as soft as it looked.

Your lips were curved into a slight smile that seemed to radiate warmth as you continued to grow busy with your phone.

He wondered who or what you were thinking of, and suddenly felt his heartbeat skip when he imagined you smiling for him. Smiling how you usually did, but with a bit more love—the type he longed for in his younger years.

And then you laughed.

You were happy and free and every part of your being seemed to be you. He found it crazy how despite everything, he never tried to forget how your eyes were just the right shade or how your laughter sounded like the summertime.

You both had been friends for so long. And it was all great until he fell, messing it up for himself.

He found himself staring, desperate to remember more.

You finally looked up, setting your phone down. “What are you looking at?” You pulled him out of his daze.

He was at a loss for words. Why did you suddenly make him nervous again? You’d been best friends for so long. Best friends weren't supposed to make you nervous.

“Um… you… you have a bug in your hair,” he stuttered. He reached out but stopped himself. Should he do that? Did best friends do that?

“Of course, they did Jisung. You’ve done this before millions of times. This was the same girl you shared a bathtub with when you were kids.”

Best friends helped each other, right? He pondered. He suddenly did not know.

You shook your head in an attempt for the bug to fly away but it only just made his heart speed up. “Is it gone now?” You asked so casually, going back on your phone as if everything hadn't suddenly changed.

“Yeah,” he replied, aware of how his voice sounded. “Yeah, it's all good now.”

He knew you all too well to notice the slightest bit of happiness that spread across your face when you saw whatever it was that was on your phone. Of course, it was him. Jisung wasn't naive.

But, did Jisung dare tell you that you looked beautiful regardless? No, that could ruin everything. Everything that he worked so hard for these past few years to forget.

He decided that maybe this feeling would pass again, that maybe tomorrow you would go back to being his best friend, and not the girl that made it so fucking hard to breathe.

Maybe this epiphany was temporary; that maybe, he would forget again.

"You really like painting stars, huh?" Your voice filled the silent air.

It was a cloudy Wednesday afternoon and you believed that it would rain later that evening. Though, it wasn't like you minded. You enjoyed the rain as much as you enjoyed the sun and the many things that came along with it.

Hyunjin didn’t look away from his artwork, his masterpiece, "I admire them because they are constant. Even when the city burns to its knees and the ground crumbles right before our eyes, they will continue to light up the world.” He dipped his brush into the black paint, “And they will watch over us forever."

You weren't looking at his art anymore. You swallowed the lump in your throat.

He finally turned to look at you, his hair blew in the breeze softly and his pink lips curled up into a gentle smile, "I sound crazy, don’t I?" He lightly giggled, crescents forming in his eyes as he noticed the absent-minded look on your face.

“No, you’re not crazy,” you thought.

You were completely dazed, struggling to comprehend the beauty that was his mind, the universes that resided inside of him. With your heart pounding roughly in your chest, you gazed into his deep eyes and realized that maybe stars had been trapped in them all along.

You began to fall harder for him than you could’ve possibly imagined.

His heart shined through his orbs ever so clearly. And when he spoke you couldn't help but gape in awe at the galaxies that seemed to thrive in them. You truly believed that one day they would consume you completely and you would fall under his tempting spell forever.

The stars lined up and surrounded you with warmth. Those eyes, oh those eyes, they could hold the whole universe and it still wouldn't be enough. The reflection of you in them treasured the word forever.

“You wanna try?” He asked, drawing you out from your captivation. He didn’t wait for your answer and instead stood up from his stool so you could sit in his place. Your gaze trailed up to adjust to his height. “Here,” he guided you to sit and pointed to an empty spot on the canvas.

You swallowed thickly, looking over at the white abyss. “What if I ruin it?” You voiced your concerns quietly, clearing your throat.

He shook his head, “That’s not possible.” He picked up the paintbrush that was already dripping with black watercolor and handed it to you.

Taking it from his hold, you lifted it over the canvas, still hesitant. Were you ready to make your mark? “Jinnie, I really think I’ll mess it up…”

Suddenly, you felt his warmth as he leaned in from behind you. His chest was pressed against your back, “Let me help you.” His voice was laced with sweetness and his aura was so soft that it warmed your entire body.

Your former fingers that were once encompassed by the coldness were now hugged by long, slender ones. His fingers interlocked over yours that were gripped tightly onto the brush. You could feel the coldness of his rings transfer to you.

And you struggled. You struggled so badly as you felt his fingers move from against you, guiding you in delicate strokes.

As you sat there, still as a statue, you wanted to curse him out because he was teasing you in the worst way possible. And it was bad because you wanted to feel his fingers do other things to you. You wanted them to unravel the last thread of decency you possessed.

Yes, it was wrong but you couldn't care less anymore. He chose the sweetest words to get to your heart, and the most poisonous actions to make it explode. It was clear how you shifted and shuttered so easily under his touch. It had to be, right? You grew unapologetic and wanted your efforts to be known.

He began to grow amused by you. “Is everything okay?” He asked you the question although deep down he knew the answer.

You nodded, unable to spew out enough words to form a cognitive sentence. Your mind had been overclocking since you had entered the art studio and you were about to shut down. You couldn't even remember the words that you said that made him smile with his unforgettable grin.

His hand continued to guide yours across the canvas.

“Does it look good?” you stuttered out. You felt his hair feather your shoulder as he nodded. It sent a wave of chills down your back. He moved in closer. The breathiness of his chuckles against your neck as he felt your fingers tense up made you turn your head in his direction.

You were slowly losing all self-control.

This was going to be either one of the best things you’ve ever done or the biggest mistake that you found yourself in.

The both of your lips were inches apart, silence overtaking the room as your fingers came to a stop. His eyes were locked onto yours and his smile slightly faded.

“Hyunjin,” you whispered.

You were trying your hardest to not tell him that you loved him. You were trying to choke down the feeling, and you were trembling, but he reached over and he touched you, like a prayer for which no words existed, and you felt your heart taking root in your body like you've discovered something you didn't even have a name for.

He was confused about how the two of you ended up in the position you were currently in. It was as if calling out for him brought him back to reality. He hummed in response as his eyes now flickered down to your lips.

His dark eyes took you in, and you wondered what they would look like if he fell in love.

You wanted to tell him that you cared about him so deeply but you were scared. You were scared that he would walk away from you, scared that you’d come home crying on your bed for hours wondering why you were such a failure, scared that you would become hurt; so you just kept it to yourself, hoping that he’d love you.

"You know…” you began, your teeth pressing down against the bottom of your lip. “I dreamt about you last night.”

His lips pulled into a soft smile, tilting his head slightly. “Oh?” His eyes were still focused on the way your lips moved. “Well, I’m glad because that means you’re thinking about me.”

You smiled because of course you thought about him. You’d been thinking about him ever since you saw him on that cloudy night freshman year. You didn't know how, you didn't know why but your heart just kind of went, oh my gosh, and suddenly there was no way of getting him out of your mind.

And honestly, you didn't even want to.

He let out a breath and you felt his minty breath hit you. “What did you dream about?” His hand found its way to tuck the strands of hair that fell over your face, behind your ear.

You always thought of him before you fell asleep. The words he said, the way he looked. The things you laughed about, the silent moments you shared. But if you spoke again, your voice would have broken down. So you decided to stay quiet.

Before Hyunjin, you never used to understand what it meant to crave something, to yearn for someone's attention. Just the thought of his fingertips tracing your body made your skin ignite in fire.

You recalled the first dream you had of him three years ago.

In your dream that you didn't tell anyone, he held you close when you were alone. He made you feel loved and safe. You could almost physically feel his arms wrapped around you in more than just your dream. You thought the ghost of him had entered your room that night. The warmth was the only thing that kept you tethered in the world.

And that’s when you knew you were in love with him.

In the dream you didn't tell anyone, the one that you had kept tucked away just for him, it was just you and him and books and coffee… There might've been more, but all you could remember was the faint pink in his cheeks when you read poems for him.

He inched himself closer to your lips. Close enough until you could smell the strawberry scent you’d always loved. You let it linger in your nose selfishly. "Did I kiss you in your dream?" he asked quietly.

You looked up at him, eyes wide. You couldn't stop yourself from looking at his eyes, then to his lips, and then back again. You did. You had kissed him everywhere.

So, you nodded.

He exhaled like it was the answer he was looking for. “Can I now?”

It was quite ironic. For a resilient person like yourself, you couldn't bring yourself to move an inch or say another word. The cat had gotten your tongue, and you found yourself quickly realizing that you couldn't ever be resilient when it came to him. You were quite choked with tenderness for him, it made you feel a bit pathetic to love him so much.

Nonetheless, you sat there, under his will, and nodded again. This was everything you had ever wanted. You wanted to taste his lips, you wanted to feel him against your arms.

While fireworks filled the air around the room, he leaned forward, stopping himself at your lips. His thumb traced your jaw before gently grabbing ahold of it, and holding you close.

You watched his lips part as he moved in closer. When his mouth closed over yours, he moaned quietly. The sound was soft, just like the feel of his lips.

Everything about him was soft. His hold on you, the material of his apron that was splattered with many different colors, the palm of his hand that stroked your cheek.

You placed your hand on the back of his neck. You pulled him toward you even closer, and kissed him. You kissed him. And you kissed him. And you kissed him. And you kissed him.

And he kept kissing you back.

Your mouth opened at his gentle insistence, allowing him in. You lost yourself, drowning in his sweet softness. It felt as though the entire universe was right there in between your lips.

And as he let go, and the fireworks died, you knew that you had landed yourself in a bad case of love.

It took you a little longer to get home later that evening.

Not because anything more happened between you and Hyunjin, but because you took your time reminiscing the feeling of his lips against yours.

You told yourself that nobody would ever taste like the way he did. He tasted full of colors and aromas. He tasted like everything that gave you life.

He was the breath of fresh air that you needed.

Pushing your thoughts aside, you pressed play on the next episode of a show you were currently watching—well, the show that you and Jisung were supposed to be watching, together.

The both of you started a horror anime earlier that week and were nearly done with it. But he had been busy these past few nights with his music so you hadn't been able to watch it with him in a while.

Maybe you were a bad friend but after the day you had, you felt like you deserved to watch and feed into your desires. So you fell into temptation and pressed play on the episode.

But of course, in life, all good things came with consequences. And it proved itself so because ten minutes later, Jisung came home.

"Hey Ji," you nonchalantly greeted. You looked up from the television for a split second before you sucked in a breath in realization.

You were in fact about to be caught.

He nudged his chin up in greeting, luckily not noticing your demeanor just quite yet. "I just finished up at Chan’s. What are you up to?" he sighed as he plopped down onto the couch beside you.

“Hmm… nothing.”

He turned to look at you, giving you a confused look. “Everything okay?”

You slowly nodded in response, slyly trying to change the current display on the TV. You didn't have enough time to fully close out of the tab.

He furrowed his eyebrows in suspicion, "Why are you acting weird?"

"Hm?" you repeated. He looked at you for a couple of seconds quizzically before deciding to just let you be. He knew you all too well to push your buttons because he had done it far too many times in his lifetime.

Continuing with random conversations you both usually had, he couldn't help but notice that you were spam-clicking a button on the remote. It wasn't working properly. Ultimately, you opted to quickly turn it off instead.

"You're hiding something," he suddenly had the urge to grab the remote from your hand, and that's what he did.

You gasped, "Jisung!" You attempted to reach for the remote.

He quickly stood up from where he was sitting, his height added to the height of the couch. He held the remote above his head. You attempted to grab it but he was quick to change positions.

You sighed defeatedly, crossing your arms before plopping back down on the couch. "Fine. Go ahead.” You didn't have the energy to deal with him.

“Aw, that’s it?” he teased, lowering the remote and nudging your leg. He was expecting much more from you. Sitting back down beside you, he turned the TV back on and saw the recently opened applications.

"Now before you get mad, you were taking too long—"

He immediately glared in your direction. "We missed two nights only!" He groaned, lightly tossing the remote back at you, "You suck bro."

You dramatically frowned and threw your legs over him. “I’m sorry Sungie!” He attempted to push you off but ultimately gave up once you began to squish his cheeks.

He loved the way you’d crinkle your nose when you laughed really hard and the way you gave instant puppy dog eyes when you noticed he was upset with you.

“I hate you.”

"Stop lying. You love me.”

He swatted your hand away from his cheeks, "Nah."

You stifled a laugh, "You look me in the eyes for a little too long to not love me."

There it was again. His heart sped up randomly.

You opened his arms so you could cuddle up against him. He was always so warm and smelled of the sweetest of cinnamon. And despite his annoyance with you, he still wrapped his arms around the small of your back.

“Oh!” You abruptly exclaimed in remembrance, your head turning to face him. “Guess what…”

He pursed his lips, “You realized that you’re the lamest person ever?”

You rolled your eyes at him and he chuckled lightheartedly. “No Jisung.” You raised an index finger, “Hyunjin and I kissed.” You felt goosebumps build up your arms as you heard the words that escaped your mouth. You still couldn't believe it.

As for Jisung, his smile fell and he felt his heart sink. You were joking, right? But why would you joke about something like this? He contemplated for a moment.

It had to be the truth but why did he expect you to laugh afterward and tell him that it was just all one harmless joke? That you were just trolling.

You nudged his shoulder, “Did you hear me?”

He knew there was a problem when his initial reaction wasn't to jump up in down in happiness for you.

His eyes widened and he awoke from his mind daze. He put forth a fake smile. “No way?! I told you… he must really like you.” You hid your face behind your hands unable to contain your smile. He forced a laugh, removing your hand away from your face. “What? He has to.”

“I guess,” you mumbled, still feeling shy towards everything.

It took a lot of courage for you to open about up about your feelings to anyone. It wasn't like you to act so lovey-dovey in front of someone. You had been keeping your feelings for Hyunjin a secret for the past three years and being able to talk to your best friend about it now- it felt different.

It felt nice.

“Did our lesson pay off?” His mind traveled back to when he had you all to himself for that one night. It hurt him now knowing that the trace of him was gone from your lips.

You nodded, “Definitely. He’s such a great kisser.”

“Damn.”

You leaned your body even closer to the boy, smiling adorably. “You’re also a great kisser Sungie.”

“But who was better,” he thought. He was starting to grow annoyed with his pitiful mind.

You interrupted his thoughts. “You might say no to this but…” you began, falling short when his eyes looked into yours, waiting for you to finish. You chickened out. “Um…” you tried again before shaking your head, a groan leaving your mouth.

“What is it?”

You tried to shake your sudden nerves. “I wanted to ask if you—never mind I can’t.”

He sighed impatiently, “You can’t just say never mind after you brought it up.” That was one of his biggest pet peeves. You used to do it a lot in high school which caused him to give you the silent treatment for a day or two. Now, you’d sometimes just do it unknowingly out of habit.

It was a bold claim. You even knew it. “Uh, is it wrong if I asked you to have sex with me?” You ripped the band-aid.

His jaw nearly dropped to the ground. Quite literally. He sat up, causing your body to separate from his embrace. “Are you high?” He dumbfoundedly asked before shaking his head. He didn't wait for your response, “No… you're definitely high…”

You sat up as well. “I’m not!” He looked at you in disbelief. “All I did was ask a simple questi-”

“That’s not a simple question Y/N. You just asked me to fuck you,” he reiterated slowly. “You haven't even—you’re getting carried away.”

The tone he spoke was slightly belittling and you weren't sure if you should've been offended or not by it. But before you could respond, the front door suddenly opened.

“Hey guys,” Minho greeted, taking off his shoes by the door. He noticed Jisung’s staggered expression and chuckled. He looked over at you, “What's up with Hanji? He looks like he just saw a ghost.”

You awkwardly laughed, “Oh, he found out I watched the next episode of our show.”

If you were being honest, it felt wrong to lie to Minho the way you did. About Hyunjin. About Jisung. Despite his tough and opinionated personality, he would've supported your feelings in the end. But you couldn't bring yourself to talk about it with anyone else besides Jisung. Maybe it was because he understood you better than anybody else.

Jisung didn't respond or refute your lie.

Minho chuckled, “Poor guy.” He walked over to his room, “I’m going to take a shower and pass out. I’m tired as hell.”

You flashed him a quick smile, “Okay, night Lino.”

As soon as Minho left, Jisung snapped over to you, “Were you actually being serious?” He didn't even let you respond before sighing, running his hands down his face. He never expected you to ask him this question in a million years. Not even when you both made that pact. A kiss, sure. But to have sex with each other? He just couldn't do that to himself.

Noticing how distressed he looked, you awkwardly sat up, removing your legs from his lap. “You seem upset, so never mind I asked.”

Hearing your tone, he scoffed, “You can't be mad right now Y/N.”

“Who said I was mad?”

“I can tell by your voice—”

You interrupted him. “Jisung, if I really needed to fuck someone so badly for practice I can just ask someone else.”

You believed that he was beginning to start an argument over something so little and you didn't want to ruin the rest of your perfect day. So, you walked off into your room.

Of course, he was entitled to his own opinion and decision about this. Besides, he wasn't the type to just sleep around. But he could've just straight up said no instead of making you feel so deranged for asking.

You huffed, sitting down on your bed with your arms crossed. Somehow you felt like a little kid that was sent to their room for bad behavior. Okay, maybe you were rashly acting out.

You needed to be the bigger person here. He did more than enough to help you with Hyunjin. You got your kiss as discussed originally, and that was all you needed. You felt very selfish.

As soon as you stood up to apologize, the door knocked. You opened it revealing Jisung. You didn't even need to hear him say a word before opening the door wider. He followed you into your room silently.

He breathed out, “I’m sorry about what just happened. I didn't need to be like that, it was rude.”

You shook your head, sitting back down on your bed. “No Ji, I'm sorry. You were right, I’m getting carried away.” You reached out for his hand and you pulled him onto your bed. “I know I'm always being so annoying and difficult, especially nowadays—”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I’ve never asked you once how you felt about all of this and I’m sorry about that,” you continued to apologize.

He chuckled softly, at your reaction. You were being too harsh on yourself.

You looked over at him in confusion, “Why are you laughing?”

“Because…” He ruffled your hair slightly, giving you a soft, sad smile. “You don't get it do you?” He pulled you into his arms again, “I'd rather argue with you than laugh with anyone else.”

Nowadays, in the middle of the night when everything was quiet and everyone was asleep he’d think about you. Even if he didn't realize it, you found your way back into his memory to the point where it made him sick to his stomach.

He didn't want to love you in that way anymore. He couldn't breathe because of it. And it sucked because he thought he was finally forgetting that part of you. He was finally happy to just be your best friend.

But then the memory of you came back.

It took you a few moments to be able to respond again. He always did this. He was always too nice whenever came to you. He was the most sweetest yet aggravating person you had ever met.

“Well that’s a relief,” you sighed.

He looked down at you even though all he could see was the top of your head. There was a problem here. That problem was, he didn't know what he wanted from you. He had so many things he wanted to say but to what end, he didn't know. In fact, he didn't even know where to start. There was just a problem and it was slowly driving him insane.

So instead, he simply kept looking at you trying to put the pieces together. You broke the silence. “What?”

He hummed, shaking his head, “Nothing. I was just looking.” You raised an eyebrow at him, not falling for whatever act he was pulling. He mocked you childishly, “What?”

“Whatever fuck off,” you playfully rolled your eyes.

He lightly chuckled to himself.

You were different. You were different from the rest. Of course, you were his best friend but it didn't take a lot to figure out how insanely raw you were. You were real and unfiltered and unguarded. You were different because you were unafraid—unafraid to put yourself out there and show the world who you truly were.

To him, you were original and unique and authentic. You mixed craziness with class and confidence with vulnerability. Both wild and funny—and because you were free, you were unbothered and unaffected—not caring about anyone's opinion.

And suddenly, you gave him a whole different perspective on life again.

He was falling for something that wasn't real. Before, he had wanted it to be real. He wasn't too sure now. He remembered how he used to daydream every day of what you two could’ve been. Even though you were not his, you didn't see how happy you made him just by being you.

He thought about how he loved it when he would look over and you were already staring. He knew he was on your mind for a second, but did it mean something?

If it was meant to be, something would have happened by now. He just wanted you to want him.

When he was younger, he wondered if he was the problem. He wondered if he was good enough for you. He tried to make himself someone who would attract your attention.

He wasn't the type of guy girls usually fell in love with. And he knew that you didn't feel the way that he did, and it broke his heart knowing that you were constantly on his mind all the time regardless.

You would never think of him the way he thought of you and it killed him. And it hurt him to know you would never look at him the way he looked at you.

He was younger then, but he cried over you and you didn't even know. You would never know. He wished he could ask you what you thought of him now, after all these years.

Maybe he could still have a little hope even if Hyunjin was in the picture.

Everything about you made him feel on top of the world, your laugh, your smile, the way you talked— it gave him butterflies every time. He kept waiting for something that was never going to happen.

His brain was telling him, no, but his heart was telling him yes.

“I'll do it.”

Confusion washed over you. “Do what?”

“Whatever you wanted me to do, I'll do it.”

He loved you not because of anything you had, but because of that feeling whenever he was near you. He always wanted to talk to you.

He’d smile every time he thought of you. He remembered how he got so shy around you when his feelings started to develop. He used to love going to school to just see you. Just seeing you made his day. He really liked you more than he’d liked himself.

Suddenly all the mediocre love songs he made in his old small room that you were all too familiar with, were about you. In his own dreams, you both were everything he wanted it to be, like in the books you’ve read. He had a hopeless crush on you, someone he have no chance with.

You really didn't have the slightest idea of how much he liked you.

Your eyes widened slightly before you shook your head. “No, no it’s okay Ji. What I said earlier—it was dumb. You don't have to have sex with me…”

He hushed you, “No, I want to—I mean…” he stopped himself as he heard the sudden desperation lace through his voice. “I mean, I’m down to.” He gave you a faint smile, “I really am.”

It took you a few moments before being able to look him in the eyes. You weren't being irrational, were you? The two of you had known each other for so long and unarguably enough, you knew everything about each other.

But this?

Growing up and seeing both the beauty and madness behind sex, you weren't too sure about how you felt about it. But when you entered college and you were surrounded by it, you realized you didn't just want meaningless hookups. If you were being completely honest, you couldn't even grasp the idea of being with anyone else besides Hyunjin. It used to feel so wrong.

But this was an entirely different story.

This was Jisung you were talking about. The boy you knew in and out. The boy who knew exactly how to make you laugh and what to do to make you mad. He wasn't a stranger. He was you in another form.

This shouldn't be wrong, right? You kept repeating it to yourself until you believed it.

And as you hesitantly pondered, he couldn't control his feelings anymore. He just want to tell you right then and there but he was scared. He was scared of you not ever reciprocating the feelings he had.

What would make him happy then?

let me know your thoughts about this chapter! i’m interested to hear your opinions :) stay healthy <3

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taglist: (pls lmk if i missed you or if ur interested!)

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#stray kids #skz han jisung #skz fanfic #skz imagines #skz #han jisung #han jisung fanfic #han jisung smut #han jisung imagines #han jisung x reader #hyunjin fanfic #hyunjin imagines #series #friends to lovers #chapter 2

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